#it's basically background ben only better XD

[tamsinbeybey-she-no-porcupine]

Ben Willbond in Ask the ghosts episode 3 (reaction pic edition)

Bonus: ...daaaaaaaaaamn congrats on your face sir-edition

[carewyncromwell]

“Now’s your moment, Floating in a blue lagoon... Boy, you better do it soon -- No time will be better... It don’t take a word -- not a single word -- Go on and kiss the girl.”

~“Kiss the Girl (cover)” by RafScrap ft. Gezeus Quiryst

x~x~x~x

Okay, I have no idea why the Mermaid Revolution AU and this song/image specifically came to mind when thinking of something to do for Valentine’s Day...but yeah, here we are. XD

I don’t see Carewyn telling Orion she’s a mermaid for quite a while. After meeting Rowan, Ben, and Bill and somehow ending up on legs (yay plot), she quickly decides it’s better for her own self-preservation to not tell anyone else what she really is and to avoid water, where her scales and flippers instantly reform. (Basically Carey’s situation would be kind of like in the Disney Channel Original Movie The Thirteenth Year or Pixar’s Luca where water just touching the skin of her legs/feet makes her scales and tail reform until they dry off.) Carewyn also tries to avoid singing however she loves it because her voice -- like the rest of her family’s -- is akin to a siren’s, being irresistibly seductive and charming to humans and also very powerful when influencing the ocean and winds. Carewyn even has to be careful while speaking because whenever she gets really passionate or upset about something, she can easily get humans riled up, either on her behalf or otherwise. 

Despite Carewyn’s determined effort to stay silent while on land alongside humans, Orion nurtures a suspicion that Carewyn was the gentle, singing “nurse” who had saved his life on the battlefield. It’s only when Carewyn tries to prevent the northern half of the British Army from going to help its comrades in the upcoming Battle of Yorktown (where both Ben and nearly all of the Weasley brothers are positioned) that this changes -- for Orion, unbeknownst to Carewyn, was also on board that ship, working as a spy as part of the Culper Ring alongside new buddies McNully and Skye, and to her shock, although Orion is clearly drawn to her and her voice, his black eyes are bright and aware as he stares into hers. This may be because -- as Carewyn learned through her friendships with Rowan, Bill, Charlie, Ben, and the other humans she’s bonded with -- the one protection against a siren’s song is true, sincere love. And yet Orion’s gentlemanly kiss to her hand and the soft knowingness of his smile don’t seem quite that platonic. 

A bit overwhelmed by the knowledge that Orion might have figured out the truth and yet he felt so deeply for her anyway, Carewyn immediately goes silent and tries to ward Orion off so she can finish what she needs to do. Orion covertly follows after her, undeterred, and ultimately saves her when -- after she in her real form tries to sabotage a ship so it can’t sail -- he takes down both the two sailors trying to catch her with a net and the ten cohorts running to their aid singlehanded. He ultimately is cornered at the railing, seemingly with no way out, when Carewyn starts to sing again from her place in the water to distract the British. Without hesitating, Orion throws himself overboard, right down into the water where Carewyn is waiting...and when Carewyn rushes to try to catch him before he can sink too far, Orion wraps his arms around her and spontaneously covers her lips with his own. And Carewyn, despite herself, is unable to keep herself from holding onto him in return, too overwhelmed with relief that the unusually gentle, wise soldier she’d met on “enemy lines” is safe. 

Background can be found here, while the transparent bubble template I used is here -- I put it all together with help from Lunapic! 

Happy Singles Awareness Day, everybody! Much love to all of you, eat plenty of chocolate...and as always, please consider liking/reblogging/commenting, if you like this! 💙

[wildflowers-of-trolberg]

Top 5 background characters in Hilda?

5 - Ben and Willow (Tori's Kids)

These two are pretty key to my headcanon that Tori's a foster mum, since they're both seen with her a lot but don't really look like her (especially Willow). I'm not sure if I want either of them to get adopted out anymore, or if they should just stay with Tori (also, fun fact, I named Willow after the Owl House character :))

4 - Fatima Andersson and her kids (named by @trolbergoraclecolumnist)

I love these three as a family. Obviously the representation is really nice, and I always smile when I see them in the background; I also love the hijabi daughter's one line in The Nisse. Please do correct me if I'm reading this wrong, because I don't know all the cultural details, but I also like that one daughter wears a hijab and the other doesn't, and their mum clearly loves and supports them both :))

(And of course @trolbergoraclecolumnist made me love Fatima even more by making her the chair of the jury that convicts Trevor's mum in our Trevor Hallgrim AU.)

3 - Lindsey Reagh (Background Marra)

I love all of the background marra to one extent or another; I have a lot of headcanons about them all. But something about this one specifically just really makes me want to adopt her. I actually do have an AU where she gets taken in, specifically by Gerda Gustav.

2 - Deidre Roaninish

Deidre Roaninish is actually a very old OC of mine; she started out as a D&D character, and she shows up in a few of my fics. I originally had a very different appearance chosen for her, but as soon as I saw this backgroundian I latched onto them being her. So here she is, the head of the Trolberg Department of Social Care :))

1 - Tori Hackenbeck

Y'all knew this was coming. I love Tori to bits; I only discovered her because @cactincactout and @randomwords247 were bullying her for looking like a Tory (the UK version of Republican, basically XD), so I decided to adopt her because she’s friend shaped and deserved better. I have so many headcanons and details that I consider her an OC at this point, although she is actually meant to be someone (Kathleen McKinnon, the show’s production manager). Still, Tori’s by far my favourite backgroundian and you can expect her to show up in more fics XD

[fiveisnumber1]

Love all the tidbits you're telling us about readers friends and I'm excited for future reappearances even if it's not for a long while! Also I'm the one who sent in the ask about Five's relationship with them and I live for the idea of him being their grumpy dad friend to Y/Ns mom friend. Since Five had to grow up so fast, I interpret him as having the mentality of a young adult rather than an actual 58 yr old with the same life experience as a usual 58 yr old sans apocalypse. In my mind his stunted emotional growth would make it easier for him to learn to adopt the readers friends as his own over time and adopt to the culture/custom of 2019 as well cuz he essentially never got to enjoy much of life outside the academy before he ran off. He's basically actually a child/young adult in the body of a teenager with the extended years and odd life experience as a 58 yr old. The idea of him relearning to be young again after growing up so fast is a nice one and given readers friends are a chaotic but healthy bunch, they'd probably be the best experience for Five.

Also the idea of The Umbrellas reaction to the Hidden Seven becomes even better if Five becomes a part of them eventually cuz he actually has experience being a super. They probably would feel "safer" knowing an actual super is ministering these kids aside from reader but then again, they'd think... It's Five and Y/N. Cue the umbrella academy then panicking cuz children are running around fighting crime when they really shouldn't be xD Five as usual, takes no note and neither does Y/N if the Umbrellas try to talk them down?

But that being said, I also think Five being a part of their team would be great cuz after his own family puts him through so much stress with not listening to him, having readers group of friends trust him more openly compared to his siblings might be nice. And since no more apocalypses maybe he'd even get to kick back and have less stress doing mundane missions and feel better about himself helping people after being forced to be an assassin.

Ahh i just love all your characters and the ideas of how they'd mesh together so much! Sorry if I'm taking over your inbox and imposing my interpretation on yours or anything. It really isn't my intention cuz I absolutely love whatever you put out. I just really love talking about these characters and your story and unfortunately not everyone has been exposed to your wonderful piece of transformative fiction so I can only come and squee in your inbox - 😅💜

Yeah, I think the reader’s group would be a healthy way to re-introduce him into modern society in a sense, especially for his emotional mindset he has and the physical age that people are seeing from him. They’d help him adjust better than his siblings would and also if they can accept the reader and her weird past stuff right off the bat they’d take Five in without batting an eyelash.

I’d love to have Five join The Hidden Seven and make them the Hidden Eight. I think it would be fun, especially to have like the reader and Five fighting side by side because they actually haven’t really done that a lot. All throughout season one, they were off fighting their own battles, so it would be neat to have them working together. Also, the Umbrellas would definitely try to talk to the reader and Five about stopping these “average” children from fighting crime but it was her friends who started fighting crime in the first place so it wouldn’t work anyway. Not like Five and the reader would listen anyway.

Also, it would definitely be like Luther, Allison, Vanya, and Ben trying to talk them out of it while Klaus is just encouraging it and Diego would be asking to join them. Which, like, I’m just visualizing them all in the parlor for this discussion and it’s so funny to me.

Also, don’t apologize, I absolutely love this. I have so many pages of notes about the reader’s friends about like their backgrounds, personalities, likes, dislikes, how they all met, different dynamics, class schedules, random tidbits, etc. And they were barely used so I love talking about this. You send me as many asks as you want, I probably have an answer for anything you could ask.

[majorxmaggiexboy]

my favorite part about TURN is how most of Ben’s little handful of Personal Enemies tend to just. forget he exists. usually (but not always) right after verbally confirming their intent to murder him.

( disclaimer: this is a very silly list and not meant to be taken seriously at all, especially toward the end, although imo i’ve got a point on some of them XD )

Simcoe is more implied, but i mean he has his own special way of saying Ben’s name and a very good reason to Absolutely Hate Him (they share a birthday!), they had an excellent dialogue basically debating each other under the guise of playing Devil/Angel to Newt...but ultimately he’s content to go after Abe and Caleb and be the bane of Anna’s existence and never think about Ben again.

Rogers literally spends all of s1 on a full-on quest to get revenge against Ben for having the audacity to fight for his life and survive Rogers’ ambush. The first time he hears Ben’s name, it zooms in on his face as a “oh sh** he comin” song plays over the scene.The last time they see each other, Rogers  l i t e r a l l y  swears to hunt Ben down....and then only ever mentions him again, one time, to Abe, and then hecks off to do his own thing and doesn’t even go back to the Must Kill Tallmadge quest after finishing the Must Kill Jandre quest. Drops Ben like a hot potato (not an inaccurate label but we digress)

Sarah considered shooting him but she isn’t really on this list

Arnold gives his whole stupid spiel in the tavern about how Ben’s one of the Meddling Kids who ruined his life and how he Will Not Let That Stand and then, to be fair, you know what, actually he might have been trying something when he invited Ben to turncoat. He knows Ben’s Head of Intelligence. Maybe he had a little backstabby plan there. We’ll give him half a point for inviting Ben via postcard to come to his little ratbastardly house party, immediately after verbally confirming intent to murder him...before proceeding to never think about or mention Ben again. half a point to Arnold. However points off for lack of follow-through or finesse bring his score to a number so negative we don’t actually have a number for it.

Lee not only decided he wanted to murder Ben, but was also fully gonna make it happen until Wash intervened and then Lee couldn’t even be bothered to plot in the background or send assassins or anything. no points. actually two points for the hilarious scene where he does intend to attempt murder. but points off for being Lee and also for giving up. Hasn’t he heard of Try, Try Again? I mean Ben’s fully immune to death but come on, dude.

Randall got his face rearranged by Ben (and the people said amen) and while it was mentioned that there was a fallout from this (for Ben) we didn’t see it and Randall didn’t discuss it and it was never brought up again. Granted there is nothing that could improve Randall’s score at this stage of the game but you know what now his score is even lower. Randall Sucks, objectively.

To be fair, Gamble never claimed he’d like to- actually no I take it back he actually did verbally confirm that, for pretty much no reason, he’d like to not only murder Ben but also ~be mean to him~ first. Actively attempted to hunt him down after he escaped but apparently was eventually like “eh, forget it” before getting indecisively d’Artagnan’d by Ben. He doesn’t lose any points though because he’s got a cute smile and is weirdly charming in a swamp weasel kind of way. Also used his last words to make a pun.

Bradford’s on the list just bc he did not give a damn. He didn’t forget anything with Ben bc Ben was barely on his radar to start with. He was so unconcerned with actually participating in the rivalry, that Ben had to carry 90% of it himself. Every time Ben shows up Bradford’s just like 🙄 doesn’t lose any points bc the only reason he didn’t make a solid attempt to do whatever he was going to do right after announcing intent to do something, was that Caleb was there as backup (always) and then the whole dying thing happened. Solid effort, Brad, deserved better and i like him so much. 9/10

Hewlett’s on the list just in order to mention that Ben literally charged into town with guns blazing and ruined his day and Hewlett was just like...he had nothing to say. Ben was off his radar so fast they couldn’t even get to the Personal Enemies stage.

Jandre unfortunately loses some points for the fact that Ben gets outed to him as Head of Intelligence and Johnsauce doesn’t particularly care or do anything with that information he’s just like “that’s weird bc based on what I know about Tallmadge, the kid sucks, but based on what I know about Washington’s Head of Intelligence, the kid is brilliant. Huh.” so he loses points for never even trying to ruin Ben’s day or anything like that but he gets a pass bc their little interaction bit was all sweet and mutal-respecting and emotionally just. yeah.

Mary’s on the list because she should have had a personal grudge like “you’re the one who invited my husband into your dangerous little spy club?” and they had some tension but she didn’t do anything and really all they did was yell at each other so u-u

hell let’s throw Scott on here too because he was like “dISCIPLINARY ACTION” but then he was like “...LATER.” like dude you can shoot like three dudes dead with no trial but you can’t even roll up one of those reports and bop Ben on the head with it? tch. no gumption Scott, you suck. Loses points because he was so convinced that someone else would handle Ben for him that he (thankfully) didn’t just do it himself.

you know what let’s actually put Washington on this list too just because of the fact that two different times, TWO TIMES, he reaches the point of being like “TALLMADGE YOURE FIRED” and literally nothing happens. Especially funny because the first time, he said Ben was fired for not being able to get the spies to listen to him and follow orders...and then Ben proceeds to...not...follow orders...like ever. at all. straight-up planned to go behind Wash’s back to rescue Hewlett but Caleb was like “I got this”...continued to defy orders right up through the second time he got fired. 10/10 but no actually Washington loses some points for just being like “I’m done with you. You’re fired.” instead of dropping that cape over Ben’s head and then spinning him a few times or something. Show some initiative, my guy, be creative. Express yourself. Anyway he apparently forgot Ben had been fired both times it happened so. List.

Peggy’s on the list because not only did she cook up a scheme to try to at least get information from Ben, she also...look, she was told by Arnold that Ben’s Head of Intelligence. The wheels turned, onscreen, for God and everybody to see. She goes to Ben, turns on the charm, which he’s too busy admiring the clock and being sad to properly appreciate, had that whole thing where she was like “Hey,,,,wanna dance,,” and he was like “I’m at your service” (!!!!!!!!) and she was like, “I should think so” (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and there was nothing happening right then that wasn’t her being like “i’m gonna squeeze this himbo for every ounce of war-critical intel he can give me. won’t even know what hit him” aND THEN IT’S NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN. SHE JUST. SPOKE TO HIM LIKE ONE TIME AND DROPPED THE WHOLE SCHEME. WIThIN THE SAME EPISODE. 1000000000000/10 Iconic, Pegs. Well done on the “Let’s not bother with Tallmadge, he’s a silly boy” angle!

Lastly let’s actually put Tarleton on here just because i mean in real life, he and Tallmadge allegedly had a run-in (an ambush, actually) that involved him stealing Tallmadge’s horse, some money, and some documents. In the show? Never even shows up. Not even mentioned. Dude quit before he even started that’s how uncommitted...boooooo

[ppnightshade]

My Top 5 favorite shows of the decade (2010-2020)

Since I was a child, I had seen a lot of shows, some of them a bit boring for me, and others really memorial

To start a freshly new year, and some big changes in my Tumblr, I decided to start making this top 5 as a special post (even though I should have done it days before, but I was lazy xD). Of course (and to clarify), it will be my personal opinion and perspective; and in addition, it will be for the shows I’ve been attracted the most  It will be short, and not that deep as a real review, but you know, I’m doing this for fun (yay) 

So Let’s Start!

5.- Aggretsuko (2018)

To start this top, I decided to put this anime. Some friends recommended this to me just after season 2 aired. At first, I thought it would have been a boring office show and by seeing how cute were the characters (because Sanrio), I was like: “is that an adult show?”

Boy, I was wrong

Even if the seasons were so short, these have really well made episodes. In contrast to the shorts, it actually had a really interesting plot and a more enjoyable time (11 min episodes instead of the normal 1 min shorts) 

The anime shows how Retsuko’s life relates on every adult’s life. Starting as a worker that see things so optimistic, but learn in the hard way that life is tough. Especially when working by just a bunch of money. But when night fells, things are a bit different...

If there is one thing that made Retsuko so special, it’s her way to release her anger. The way she rages it’s so special. It’s not the typical guy who destroys things. She releases her anger by doing what she like: singing in a karaoke

It has good comedy, has some adorable characters that finally got some personality (if we take in mind that the shorts just show them as randoms with no background history) and lovely songs. Also, the love topics it’s something that it’s well handled. The story of Retsuko with Haida and Tadano, both different, but really enjoyable and cute to see Still waiting to see what season 3 will bring to us, but sure enough, it will bring some more raging of our favorite red panda...

4.- Slugterra (2012)

Ok, this show may be a bit old, but believe me. This was my childhood. Basically, it was a show where a gang leaded by Eli Shane, have to defend the 99 caverns from Dr.Black and his evil men, with the help of Slugs, small creatures that are the main ammunition for everyone (it’s a short summarize I know)

As you guess, it’s the typical battle between the good and the evil

Well, this cartoon was a masterpiece for me. An attractive story that can catch you in just 3-4 episodes, an animation that it’s so vibrant and some incredible backgrounds to watch. Every cavern has it’s own look. Including the slugs

Talking about them, there are different kinds of slugs, each of them with an unique ability. I think that I can agree with everyone that Burpy is the main slug. The most representative of all the slugs in Slugterra. But aside from him, every slug has it’s own personality (even their own names). They are like pets for Eli, and it shows the connection he had with them. Catching them it’s like catching pokemons.

The characters are also a good point of this show. Eli, the young leader, an adventurer and a guy who follows always the good steps of his father; Trixie, the extrovert girl that it’s always there with her camera; Kord, the troll mechanic, but that deep inside, he is a cutiepie; and Pronto, that guy who always keeps exagerating his stories, but it’s always there to keep the team united. All of them are really memorable, and enjoyable to watch

All 5 seasons and their movies managed to filled all the plot holes the show had. The reasons of why Black became a villain, the legacy and mistery of the Shadow Clan, and more. In addition, it even had a game in the app store. Isn’t that amazing?

This was the show of my childhood, and deserved to be in this top 

3.- OK:KO Let’s be heroes (2017)

A really underrated show, OK:KO Let’s be Heroes is a show that got a lot of hate for no reason. But for me, this show was one of the best things CN had after a long time of bad reboots and shows

This cartoon is developed in a video game world, in the year 201X. Here we got the story of a small kid, KO, whose biggest dream is to become one of the greatest heroes of the plaza, just like the another guys out there. While having his adventures, he is always with the company of this two colleagues, Rad, a young alien, and Enid, a ninja witch

What to say about it? For me, it’s a show that got good over time. For example, you can compare the animation from the pilot and season 3 episodes, and you’ll see how much it improved from that point. In addition, it’s a really stylish animation that matches with the fights that the show have (and believe me, there is a lot) and some good soundtracks to enjoy the enviroment. And believe me, these are so good that you want to listen them again and again (Happened to me with Ernesto’s Jam)

It sure not have one of the best comedies, but it sure have some positive messages and plot lines. The path that KO follows to become a greater hero, shows a big example of resiliance and effort. And talking about plot lines, we got the stories of POINT and Professor Venemous. They started as simple characters and organizations that didn’t look like much, but as the story continued, it shows a big relation with KO’s past and some other heroes backstories

It’s sad that CN ended up killing this show, not promotioning it, and even not giving it so much time to air (you only found the show in a horrible time, like 1am in my country). Even if this cartoon managed to tied up some loose ends, it didn’t tie them all. It had the potential for more, but CN lost a great opportunity

But in the end, KO will live in our hearts, as our little hero...

2.- The Amazing World of Gumball (2011)

Oh man, this cartoon. The once called a “kids show” but ended up being something more. 

A cartoon that shows the crazy and incredible adventures of Gumball in the city of Elmore. A unique world, where everyone have a special design, or different animation. Examples are Alan, Clayton or Ocho

Here we have Gumball’s family, his brother Darwin, his sister Anais, and his parents, Nicole and Richard Watterson. A special family, that always get involved in crazy things, but in the end, there is good chemestry in all the members. 

What to say about it? Over it’s 6 seasons, it managed to gave us some good laughs. Most of the jokes are so clever (there are even hints of black humor) and in addition, there are episodes that made satire of some special topics (”The Copycats” and “The Shippening”). Also, it does not only gives us laughs, but also talk about real life; for example, the SJWs, the censorship of videogames, depression and even the reality of politics. This is the funny reason why we are always asking ourselves: “Is this a kids show?”

Also, remarking this one more time, the special thing about TAWOG is that it does not have one single animation. It includes, 2D, 3D, 8-bit, Stop Motion; in short, a variety of them to enjoy. A compilation of characters with a unique animation and personality, made all Elmore people so interesting and memorable. 

While it’s sad that TAWOG ended up in a cliffhanger, most of the fans are still waiting for a movie. Let’s be honest, this show deserved an opportunity to close the loose ends it had left. And what a better way to do it than a movie? (Not to mention that even Ben himself had made a Tweet about this)

We’ll see if time is our friend now...

1.- Penn Zero: Part Time Hero (2014)

And to end this personal top, this special show. Also known as the “AU show” for some fans; this was, in my opinion, the best show I’ve ever seen in the whole decade

First of all, a brief explanation of this masterpiece. It's basically a show where our protagonist, Penn Zero, works as a Part Time Hero, and everyday he goes to different dimesions with the objective of stopping the plans of the Part Time Villains, Rippen and Larry; with the help of his friends Sashi, the Part Time Sidekick and Boone, the Part Time Wiseman

What does Penn Zero got that attracked me the most? First of all, the worlds. There is always a special detail that made each world unique. Like, a world with dinosaurs and cowboys, or a prehistoric world where the heroes work as agents. Also, each world have a nice background, that really fits with the theme of the missions. For example, we got the cereal world, where the cliffs have the figure of milk boxes

Then, the dynamic each team follows. As you can guest, this is a good vs evil show, but with something unique. They are not exactly heroes and villains, it’s just a part-time job they take. And of course, they get payed (I think? xD). Well, the thing is, even though they love to destroy each other in their missions, in real life, they are just chill and normal people... well, kinda. We can see how Rippen always loves to give Penn bad scores as revenge for defeating him everyday. 

Even though the show only had 2 seasons, it managed to explain well all the plot planified. Showing the backstory of Rippen and his ambitions of becoming a full-time villain, and the story of Penn in an attempt to recover his parents from “The Most Dangerous World Imaginable” (his main objective) 

The animation is a really fluent, and even though it doesn’t have a lot of songs like the other shows I mentioned before, you can enjoy the few it had. Well developed characters, great humor; and best of all, you can imagine any AU you want, and it will fits with all the 5 main characters

It’s kinda sad that Penn Zero only got 2 seasons, this last one, aired in just 18 days (just imagine that the fandom waited 2 years for new episodes, and in few days, the show just dissapeared). Disney wasted a lot of potential on this, but believe me, this show was one truly underrated, but amazing in every aspect

And that’s it. I hope you enjoy this small top 5 I made. I’ll probably make another one, but, we’ll see. Thank you for reading until this part if you manage to get here c: 

[seven-oomen]

I’m sorry you’re still feeling exhausted.  I hope work wasn’t too terrible today, and that the weekend lets you rest up a bit (if you get normal weekends.  working in retail I try not to assume.)  Also, this is likely to just be a short(-ish) collection of unconnected musings, but I felt like sharing them anyway, and really you should be used to that from me at this point.  XD  So, first off that tree painting is GORGEOUS.  I mean, I tend to be kinda partial to that whole tree silhouette type aesthetic, so I’m probably slightly biased.  But still.  (And the background shading… <3 )  Also, ngl, the backlit keyboard keeps making me think of that video of Henry Cavill assembling his new computer that’s making the rounds.  That is not meant as a complaint of any sort, mind you, merely an observation.

Speaking of hot scruffy dudes who are actually massive dorks, did you SEE Ian’s most recent Insta pic?!  (the non-cowboy hat one)  Omg, I don’t know why he keeps complaining about how it’s starting to look like TW Season One hair like it’s some sort of bad thing.  (The longer the hair, the better the grip you can get. […uh…wait, what?… ’>.> ])  That pic just screams OUAT sequel to me.  Out here looking all shaggy and windblown and peaceful and content.  Proud Alpha Dad Peter spending quality time with his family/pack.  How very dare he spring this on an unsuspecting public with no warning?  I was not prepared.  (Also, Sinqua and Holland commenting on it just ups the adorable factor that much more.)

Also, was looking at a few sites lately in consideration of ordering a few more masks for work, found this print on one of them and almost laughed myself absolutely stupid.  I don’t know why it was just so funny to me, but I hope it cheers you as much as it did me.  Btw, it’s available on an impressive variety of items, including two types of notebooks, t-shirts, mugs, blankets, pillows, beach towels, shower curtains, rugs, bath mats, several styles of bags, phone cases, and assorted types of wall art (sadly not on a mask, however.  I was deeply disappointed.)  I can see any number of items ending up in the Haleargentski household, bought by assorted non-wolf members for assorted wolf members, because they are a family of assholes.  (I feel like the first gift was a travel mug to Peter from his darling husbands, then a t-shirt [on black ofc] from Peter to Derek, and then it just all snowballed from there.)

Today’s literally-just-appeared-out-of-nowhere-wtf-brain thought is (much like the French maid thing) definitely of the nsfw variety, so consider yourself duly warned if you have a shift today.  Because I mean we talked about Chris and Noah using toys on each other, but why should Peter get left out of the fun?  There are plenty of ways for him to enjoy them, too.  Like, pretty much the initial spontaneous thought was “Peter getting pulled into someone’s lap and being pegged within an inch of his life until he comes screaming down the throat of whichever one is going down on him at the same time."  And I was just like "not sure what this has to do with this video of how to make a ukelele out of colored pencils, but continue."  But like, no really.  Peter being knotted in one of them while the other uses beads or a (vibrating) plug on him?  (Which one is the asshole who momentarily turns the vibration up high enough that they BOTH can feel it?)  Or using those, or some kind of prostate massager, while he’s tied up and watching them with each other?  Bonus points in that situation for anything remote controlled.  See just how good his control really is.  Equal opportunity toy usage is what I’m saying, basically.

Also had a thought inspired by a pregnant friend and her fiance raving about a local pizza place’s monthly special, which is a pickle pizza (no really).  I may or may not have asked her if she had it with ice cream (I totally did, but apparently she’s past that point.)  So I was wondering about any weird or specific cravings the boys have while pregnant.  I remember Chris having a thing about chocolate pudding in the flashbacks.  Was it only a certain type of pudding, or would any kind do?  Were there any others he had?  Did he have the same ones with Ben or different?  What about Noah?  What sort of cravings did he get, if any?  And did they vary between sets of twins?  Did anybody go the aforementioned pickles and ice cream route?  Anybody dipping fries in Nutella?  Onion straws in peanut butter?  Doritos in cottage cheese?  Anybody eat salsa straight out of the jar?  Did anybody get any sudden absolute need for a specific fast food at two in the morning?  Or suddenly want a type of snack food only carried at one truck stop halfway past the next town?  Anybody spend several days eating nothing but veggie trays, including ones they normally can’t stand?  Anybody develop a temporary aversion to certain things, like coffee (feels like it would be a terrible thing for either of them)?  Did Peter cater to their every whim in any and all of these situations?  (I already know that answer.)  Did either one ever get demanding about it, or did they go the more passively-wistful-won’t-stop-mentioning-it route?  Side note; did anyone (not family) ever catch the wrong end of hormones now backed by even more combat and/or magical ability?  (Debbie at the bake sale best step off or she gonna regret a number of her life choices.)

Uh…I think that was the last of the random swirling questions/musings/headcanons for now…  I hope you feel a bit better today, and that the time off (I think you mentioned some time off?) is helpful.  Enjoy your time with your friend (that was this weekend, right?).  If you’ve got ideas for writing stuff, but are having trouble getting them down, would making quick notes/reminders, or voice recordings, for later help?  Like, so you don’t worry about losing them, but aren’t forcing yourself to do something you don’t feel up for at the time?  Either way, congrats on keeping up with the journaling (and the pretty, pretty art), and I hope tracking everything proves helpful.  And remember, other people’s bullshit issues and hang-ups are in no way your fault (no matter what they try to tell you), and you deserve all the good things.  Take care!  *Hugs to both of you!* 

Yeah, honestly I think I hit that point in my life again where my battery is drained and I can’t restart it. Which is how I got my burn out at first and working towards another one. Heh but I also don’t want to give up now and just keep working for a little longer because my contract expires at the end of September and yeah.. 

Stress.

Aww gosh thank you, yeah I really like how that one turned out! It was better than expected.

Btw if you’re into Zombie apocalypse stories (I am) you should definitely check out The girl with all the gifts. It’s so brutal but also interesting, I definitely enjoyed that. (And it was research for my own book)

Lol I love this keyboard and this laptop, really, it was the most expensive thing I ever bought but it’s so worth it. Still runs super smooth after 2 years. I don’t think I’ve seen that video of Henry though. 

And omg yes I did and it’s the best thing. he looks so SOFT omg. I def got  OUAT S2 vibes from that. And OUAT vibes. Also that pic of him with Colton, omg. Those were the best!

THAT PRINT!!!! I nearly snorted coffee out of my nose this morning but managed to swallow it down just in time. My work computer would have suffered caffeine damage otherwise XD.

But yeah, that becomes a running gag for sure!

Because I mean we talked about Chris and Noah using toys on each other, but why should Peter get left out of the fun?  There are plenty of ways for him to enjoy them, too.  Like, pretty much the initial spontaneous thought was “Peter getting pulled into someone’s lap and being pegged within an inch of his life until he comes screaming down the throat of whichever one is going down on him at the same time."

*cheff’s kiss* 

Yes.

Oh the images are so good. Remind me to write them out in detail tomorrow after the zoo trip.

Also parking the pregnancy cravings to answer tomorrow since it’s past midnight and I should catch some sleep before I need to be up again. But I will definitely type that HC out.

Side note; did anyone (not family) ever catch the wrong end of hormones now backed by even more combat and/or magical ability?  (Debbie at the bake sale best step off or she gonna regret a number of her life choices.)

Ohhh Debbie’s toast. Because yes, Noah’s magic is that much stronger when it’s fueled by pregnancy hormones and Chris turns into a very protective hormonal fighting machine. Low center of gravity has advantages when you’re in a squabble with the Karens.

And yeah, I have four days off right now. Which means I don’t have to work until Thursday again. Which is awesome!

But yeah work wasn’t too bad, I had to do one bad news conversation which fucking sucked since there was nothing I could do and nobody I could get a hold off to fix the problem for that customer and it was just a waiting game. I hate those conversations. I honestly do.

Most of it was quiet though and I got to leave an hour earlier due to the quiet day. So that was good. And I watched a movie while being paid (The girl with all the gifts) so that was pretty fun too XD

I actually voice record a lot already. I find it really helps with clearing my mind and I write a lot of stuff down. But I appreciate the tip!

Lots of cuddles from me and Mo and I hope your day went by well. <3

[coughsyrupcowboy]

The umbrella academy sucks

As an abuse victim, i left the show a lil angry. Like if u like the show, thats fine. If u relate to the characters, thats fine. But the show and its premise and characters had potential and the whole thing kinda fell flat to me. This is just my general opinon and im not meaning to shit on any one that likes the show! The show just made me really, really angry and i kept watxhing to see if it got better. It didnt! I dont understand why its so popular. So spoiler warning im gonna have a lil rant lol its that kinda day

I understand being damaged by being abused, i can completely relate to that. But there comes a point in your life when you have to not let that define you. I dont mean u get over it. You never get over being abused. Its ultimatly your choice to eventually heal or continue to blame your abuse for everything wrong in your life. And honestly thats very hard to do. Its hard to get helo and getting help is beauriful. And if it was just a couple characters refusing to heal, thatd be ok. Atleast have one character thats healing or healed from their abuse. It felt like a cautionary tale for abused kids. Like dont get abused or ull end up sad and miserable and ur gonna be a dickhead!!

Growing and healing from abuse is hard and it takes work. These characters were assholes that were constantly bickering with each other about stuff that didnt even matter and were blaming everyone else but themselves for problems that were their own fault.

These characters were manchildren and couldnt grow up even if they tried.

Luther is a boring and bossy piece of shit thats still chasing the glory days of being a leader and takes away all of alisons agency near the end and doesnt even learn from it. He knows best so lets overpower every other character because they arent allowed to have a say in anything. His word is law and its very controllingand gross. Also like ew thats ur sister.

Diego wants to be batman lmao. And he kills his mom without consulting anyone else and then wants pity cuz his mom is dead wtf. And he keeps getting in fights like ur not 15 anymore, get some anger managment therapy.

Allison grew up to be a manipulative bitch whos sad that people dont like her cuz shes a manipulative person. She abused her kid and is sad about it.

Klaus....ugh....he was kind of...boring....he was a drug addict who was a complete ass and was just lol xd random im gay. Then they sent him to nam and killed the only other gay who had no lines. The writers were doing some blow and being like "klaus needs depth. Lets give him some man pain and make him a vet even tho that makes absolutely no sense for his character. This is the only way to make him interesting." Like why would klaus even fight in a war, willingly, instead of going back to the future. Why would he fight in a war he knew he was gonna lose???? He didnt even get character development from this!! Hes just got ptsd now. Hes still an ass and druggie. He didnt grow, hes the same. Hes one of the more likable characters tho cuz he has a basic understanding of compassion.

Five was kind of interesting but the potential was lost there. He seems to be the most well adjusted character but honestly hes kind of a cast away rip off. Hid motivations dont always make sense too. I dont have a lot to say about him

Ben is ok. But ghost. So like no real character. Hes a blank sheet.

Vanya got the worst treatment. She was treated the worst out of all the kids and is treated and portrayed as sad and pathetic. Everytime she tries to grow from what happened, apologoze, even talk, the rest of the cast shuts her down or gaslights her in some kind of way. She then gets an abusive boyfriend and then she becomes a villian. Her character goes from caring, compassionate, and hesitant to person who kills everyone???? It makes no sense. Itd make sense if she killed her family, but not the rest of the world. Like what??

And the abusive boyfriend was abused physocally amd became a serial killer??

The abuse victims in this show either become awful people, physciotic killers, or are just bland and 2d. It sent a message to me, unintentional or otherwise, that being abused defines you and youre never gonna heal. These people are 30 somethings and they are all adult babies who seriously need to grow up.

ALSO YOU DONT HAVE TO PLAY POP MUSIC EVERY 20 SECONDS JESUS FUCKIGN CHRIST I GENUINLY LIKE THE TROPE OF A FIGHT EITH UPBEAT MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND BUT WHEN THERES LIKE FUCKING 58 POP SONGS WITH IN ONE EPISODE IT LOSES ITS SPARK AS A TROPE. ALSO THE SOUNDTRACK WAS SHIT. GROW UP AND PUT RASPUTIN IN PLACE OF INSTANBUL GOD!!! AND HIRE SOME MUSIC MAJORS!! THEYRE A DYING BREED!! THEY WILL LOVINGLY CRAFT YOU A BETTER SOUNDTRACK!! IF U DIDNT WASTE UR ENTIRE BUDGET TO GET THE RIGHTS TO 900 SHITTY POP SONGS THAT WERE ONLY GONNA BE PLAYED DURING 50 SEXOND INTERVALS WHERE CHARACTERS DO NOTHING AND INSTEAD OPTED TO USE THAT BUDGET TO GET A BETTER VIDEO EDITOR AND HIRE SOMEONE TO DO A SOUNDTRACK, ITD BE SO MUCH BETTER AND UD PROBABLY HAVE A BETTER BUDGET FOR UR SHIT CGI!! FUCK!

anyways thanks for coming to my ted talk

[theragamuffininitiative]

“Starring Opposite You” recap, aka a monster-length post

This is really long, and it’s me just rambling a bunch of dumb stuff about the night with video links to the songs, so I’m being courteous and inserting a readmore link, because I have no idea how the formatting is gonna come out by the time I’m done. XD

But guys. I got to see Ashley and Jeremy in concert together and it was incredible, and I got to see them afterward too. ^_^

Enjoy!

Ok, far as venues go, Sony Hall is gorgeous. It was cramped seating, but the venue itself was amazing. I got exactly two pictures of it and then my battery died. XD

Before the concert started, @hisloveconsumesme (my amazing traveling buddy who somehow managed to keep this ragamuffin in line) and I were sitting at these long tables that stretched out from the stage toward the back of the venue, so we had to turn sideways for the show.

So. Directly across the room from us was a little round table near the wall, and lo and behold seated there was none other than Melissa Benoist, Jeremy’s costar and the lead from Supergirl, who is on Broadway herself for a limited engagement in Beautiful and came to support her friend for a night of fun. She wasn’t exactly hiding and people kept coming up to get pictures with her and she was very sweet to all of them.

We kept watching that side of the room and by the end of the night almost the whole Squad had shown up so that it was Melissa, Kara Lindsay (JJ’s costar from Newsies) and her husband Kevin Massey, and Corey Cott (Bandstand, and JJ’s replacement in Newsies) and his wife Meg, and the queen herself: Laura Osnes (Bandstand, Cinderella, JJ’s costar in Bonnie and Clyde, and Ashley’s competition/friend from Grease Live). It was so fun not only seeing two of my faves on stage as a fan, but seeing my other faves there enjoying and reacting to everything as friends.

Ok but the songs:

Ashley and Jeremy came out and with zero introduction, they just stood on opposite sides of the stage facing one another, never giving the audience a bit of notice, unlit at the corners of the stage, and sang Castro’s “Automatic” 

They stepped closer to each other through the whole song until they were right in front of each other, and then they danced together, and then they spun around and faced the audience for the first time. It may have been my favorite song of the night and this is the only clip I think any one snagged of it, but it was so cute the way they staged it, I love them.

Melissa waved at Ashley from the audience and Ashley smiled so big and waved excitedly back, like how cute.

Then they introduced themselves (”in case you all came to the wrong place” Jeremy joked to the packed room) and gave a little background of what they’ve been in and how the night was their own little celebration of all they’ve done on stage and together and got to talking about how they will get the other person’s showtunes stuck in their head for days. Ashley burned JJ on having to listen to Newsies and Smash back-to-back and honestly they just roasted each other for a bit.

They talked so long about wanting to be in something together, they got tired of waiting so that’s why they did the concert: “Starring Opposite You.”

They had a script. They woefully went off script. They would do 'impromptu' jokes and then be like “this is in the script” and “now it’s your line” and honestly I can’t with these dorks.

Ben Rauhala was shaking his head at them from his keyboard 90% of the entire night, especially when Jeremy said “We didn’t rehearse!” and Ben was 100% done with Mom and Dad.

And then they started singing a medley of all their standards, except that Ashley was singing JJ’s songs and Jeremy was singing her’s ohmygosh

AND IT WAS HYSTERICAL BUT ALSO HOLY HECK GUYS ASHLEY IS SO GOOD.

ASHLEY SLAYED “Moving Too Fast” and “Raise A Little Hell” and “Broadway Here I Come” and “Santa Fe.” Like, don’t think this is anything less than a compliment, but I’ve pretty much come to expect phenomenal performances by Jeremy at this point, but there is not nearly enough content for Ashley AND SHE’S SO GOOD, I CAN’T STOP GEEKING OUT ABOUT IT. I need a cast album with her yesterday.

Jeremy was ‘offended’ that Ashley was doing choreography while he was singing so during “When You Got, Flaunt It” he shouted “Now for the dance!” and started to go for it and Ashley immediately went “No!” and stopped him. XD XD Heaven bless her.

Everybody screamed so loud for Bonnie and Clyde, these are my people.

Please please please, the part at the end where she’s singing “Santa Fe” in Jack Kelly’s accent. I don’t know if that was planned or not because Jeremy was dying on stage and had to fight so hard to get control back for his next bit, send help. XD XD XD

And yeah Jeremy sang “Harden My Heart” and “Hopelessly Devoted” so. um. heck.

He was such a huge dork the whole time, I don’t even know what to say, except to point out that at one point early on - I don’t remember exactly which of his antics got this reaction but does it honestly matter - I looked over and Corey’s wife Meg was doubled over with laughter while simultaneously covering her face with her hands in shame like “please. I don’t know this man. I swear.”

They did a scene from Rock of Ages and sang “High Enough” because they were both in it but not at the same time, so they played their characters opposite each other and it was great. XD

Featuring! Jeremy explaining to the audience he was holding a cassette tape, and Ashley then throwing it on the ground. XD

How did she fall in love with him when he was doing this role, I don’t know, but maybe it’s a good thing because at least she knew what she was in for.

Those harmonies though.

Then JJ grabbed a guitar and talked about old songs he wrote growing up and the whole bit cracked the entire room up

and this video has slightly better audio but without the intro.

Let me just tell you, as someone who taught guitar to middleschoolers for four years: that Green Day song is somehow always the one boys teach themselves on their own and I don’t get it.

AND THEN!!!!

ok ok ok ok ok Jeremy Jordan asdfghjkl singing the love song he wrote to Ashley and their future family, aka “Memories of Loving You”, aka “Ashley’s Song” - THE ACTUAL TITLE, aka my most favorite thing he maybe has ever done alkjfshldfijksdfjhleiudzfknv,fhslidvdxkvnd *broke*

They talked about Riley a lot. Like a lot a lot.

They joked that every time Riley was mentioned, everyone had to take a shot, but Ashley added that you needed to get someone to carry/drive you home. XD

There was a slideshow presentation of all of Riley’s nicknames and I honestly don’t remember most of them (kicking myself over that, because they were wild) but it was everything from like “Ri-ri” and “Riley Bear” to completely different names to long complicated made-up words that didn’t even make any sense - and there were like 30 of these. Most of them were dubbed by Ashley.

I could see Jeremy’s eyebrows doing The Thing while he sang from where I sat. XD

Jeremy was such a Dad because he kept getting distracted by the fact that the slideshow wasn’t keeping up.

I don’t remember which song it was around but Ashley had videos of her as like a three year old toddling around and singing, and this girl already had it from that age, and it was adorable.

The whole night felt like a chance for them to not only star opposite each other, but to swap places. Ashley was showcasing in every performance and song, being silly, but also very much bringing her a-game. Incredible. Jeremy on the other hand, was so incredibly laidback and goofy the whole night, this was the performance from a guy who knows he has nothing to prove and was just enjoying the moment and probably enjoying showing off Ashley for a bit because he never shuts up about how gorgeous and talented she is anyway, and he’s RIGHT.

Ashley talked about how much she was grateful for all the roles she’s gotten to do, but they’ve mostly been pop rock musicals and not anything classical, and so she sang “Can’t Help Lovin’ Dat Man” from Showboat

Someone cast her in something quick

And give us a cast recording

I’m begging you.

The Waitress medley. (!!!!!!!!!!)

I can’t.

@hisloveconsumesme kept grabbing me excitedly and if I had been behind her I would have been doing the same thing but basically I couldn’t take my attention off the stage long enough. We were living. Cast them in Waitress too. ;) ;) ;)

Ashley’s so perfect.

I have no words.

Except! Watch Jeremy stand back and be completely enthralled while Ashley is singing “What Baking Can Do.” You could feel the waves of admiration coming off that stage mixing with that coming from the audience.

Now go back and watch it again just to listen to her.

The part during “Bad Idea” where they go “you have a wife / you have a husband” and just shrug and laugh at each other like “yeah: you.” XD XD XD

He did “Run Away With Me”

probably the best he’s ever done it

especially after making a whole point about never doing it because of always messing it up lol.

Also the bit about the pie at the beginning might be what was embarrassing poor Meg Cott.

He did not share the pie.

Ashley singing “Embraceable You” was so precious??

ohmyword listen to her

I’m so uPSET I didn’t get to see her play Polly. *flops*

Literally everything they did was love songs, even when the other person wasn’t on stage for it. Jeremy kept popping back onstage saying things like “aw, you mean me?!” and Ashley just rolled her eyes at him.

These dorks. The 90′s Medley story is great, but what are they doing though, what...what are they.

90s kid me was having flashbacks

EVERYONE CLAPPED AT THE PART and it made Ashley so happy. XD

While Ramin will forever and always be my favorite Jean Valjean, Jeremy came out of freaking left field and sang “Bring Him Home” ????! for us as his final song, complete with a little story intro for his experience with the song.

I was seriously concerned by the fact that he wasn’t taking nearly enough breaths for this piece and I don’t know how he did it skjdflhajdfa

also he can go play that role any time he wants even though I never would have said I wanted it before the concert.

Oh, and when he finished, I glanced over at where Kara Lindsay was sitting and she was crryyyyyyyyyinngg AND I HAD BEEN FINE UP TO THAT POINT BUT HECK. SAME GIRL. SAME.

Seriously.

This is from the second night

Enjoy it all over again.

Ashley’s final song was “Stranger to the Rain” from Children of Eden, and gosh I need to stop forgetting how much I adore Schwartz’ music, so yeah, basically just listen to this and weep.

#PancakeHands

She is so pretty and talented, I’m sorry I’ll stop saying that.

They forgot to introduce the band until the last song lol. Jeremy kept making jokes about how we should all come back the second night because they would get it right then. XD

The final medley of the night was from a bunch of classic musicals, favorites of the Jordans, and wOW.

Medley featuring: “Our Children” from Ragtime, “Follow Your Heart" from Urinetown, “As Long As You’re Mine” from Wicked, “Come What May” from Moulin Rouge, and “Suddenly Seymour” from Little Shop of Horrors.

I think Corey (and Melissa) laughed at every single dumb thing Jeremy did - the “Agony” video sums up their entire relationship I’m pretty sure -except when they went into “As Long As You’re Mine” and Corey’s little Wicked fanboy heart could hardly contain himself.

The whole night I couldn’t decide who I should be watching or when, because when Jeremy was singing, Ashley was still in full performance mode and being brilliant and hysterical and occasionally reverting to expressions of “you utter nerd what are you doing.” On the other hand, whenever Ashley was singing, Jeremy literally stepped back and just watched her like there was no one else in the room and not only like he was watching his favorite singer, but like she was the entirety of his universe and askjflhdjfdf - I can’t with them. Seriously, when you watch the youtube clips, watch the other person during the duets and you’ll see what I mean.

He kept reaching for Ashley’s hand the whole night.

Like, seriously, they held hands so much and it was so cute.

Ashley is such a good dancer. Jeremy used all five of his moves. XD She kept throwing him off by dancing and also giving him A Look if he tried to follow suit.

They came back for an encore and sang “You’re All I Need to Get By”

If I remember correctly they said this was the song they danced to at their wedding, and there was a full slide show of pictures of them (I feel like the slideshow was earlier in the night but if it was, I don’t remember which song, so unless I can see the screens from someone else’s youtube videos lol)

AND JEREMY FORGOT THE LYRICS. “ready for you” he says - NO YOU WEREN’T, JJ. Ashley and Ben kept trying to get him on track and he was so lost. XD

He was embarrassed and did the little double-over-giggling-to-hide-his-face thing I did a gifset of months ago.

Ashley held up her hand with her wedding band while singing “dedicate my life to you.”

I love them.

Standing Ovation.

Ok

But

At the end of the night:

After we applauded as loud as we could and laughed and cried.

We went and stood in line, because we had VIP tickets, and we waited for forever and chatted about the show and how incredible it was.

And then we get into this little green room in the back of the venue, and Ashley and Jeremy were taking pictures and saying hi to everyone one at a time. So I go in first, and someone before me had accidentally left their bag on the floor just inside, so JJ and Ashley were very concerned about getting it returned. Person, if you’re reading this, I hope you got your stuff back, but like, I also have a small bone to pick with you, and not actually because I totally tripped upon walking in. Jeremy and Ashley were both all “oh! careful!” (a direct quote from both of them), and very sweet about it lol. Thankfully it was only a little trip and I just laughed it off. XD So we got in and we took each other’s pictures getting a Jordan sandwich hug, and yes Jeremy really is that short, and I’m ashamed to say my brain was thinking “ohmygosh he’s so short” at the very minute I tripped over the bag.

Ashley kind of took over the little meet and greet, because naturally JJ had reverted to his shy off-stage self, and I was actually really okay with that because a) I was slightly concerned people would be all over Jeremy and ignore her and that wasn’t the case at all and b) it was much easier to focus on her and not be an awkward fangirl lol.

We told them “thank you, for everything” (at least, I think so, I was totally not focused at all at that point), and both of them were just so kind and actually thanked us for coming, and hisloveconsumesme got to chat with Ashley for a minute too as the next people where coming in and talking to JJ.

And then that was that. We left. We almost stopped to talk to Ben, but he was talking with a bunch of other people, and we were tiiiiiired. XD

So yeah. I’m sure I’ve forgotten half the night.

But this post is huge anyway. XD

It was a very good night.

@youtube user ren598, idk if you have a tumblr but I owe you for getting all these videos. There are some videos from other people there and from the second night, but these are my favorites, bless you.

Bless Ben Rauhala as well. Idk what the Broadway community would be without him, the King Medley Maker. I love him.

asdfghjkl

can’t

done

[zenosanalytic]

Star Wars: The Last Jedi: Execution Strikes Back

Ok so I’ve been trying to write down my reaction to The Last Jedi for the last two days, but I have a lot of Thoughts and I’m beginning to think it’d be better if I wrote down Many Reactions to The Last Jedi, each focused on a particular aspect of my reaction, and so I’m going to do that.

OK SO: This Post will be my general reaction to the plot, story, etc. There won’t be much internal coherence to this as it’s just me jumping around, writing my general reactions to the aspects of the film that stood out to me enough to comment on without deserving their own post.

The tl;dr: It had problems, but they didn’t detract from it for me and it was really fun and I liked it, but the underlying rhetorical merchandising of “Rebel” and Related Things bugged me along similar lines to Rogue One.

TLJ follows in TFA’s footprints of having a really thin, basically tacked-on plot that’s really nothing more than the most basic background required to make the film’s true strengths -its character interactions, performances, worldbuilding, and structure- comprehensible, and to let them shine. I thought the action fun, focused, and not too busy(though occasionally Stupid); that the relationships between the characters and the larger ideas they were meant to convey were well done, clear, and engaging; and that, while the plot was Incredible Stupid(or maybe just stripped down?) and Barely Relevant, the structure of the story was quite Robust and well-built. The larger themes and rhetoric of the film were clearly conveyed, even if sometimes those themes and that rhetoric was, itself, in conflict, or just flat-out philosophically infuriating(hint: my Rogue One complaint about Disney’s commodification of “Rebellion” is amped up 1000% for TLJ, but I won’t get into that in this post). My one big problem was, as with TFA but even more so, the sheer volume of callbacks and parallels, which I found a bit distracting at points. I get that they WANT the films to feel cyclical and repetitive, but I feel like they just went too far in a few places here, and tried too hard to be “A Star Wars Movie” rather than doing their own thing, which gave it a very franchisey feel. There were moments, however, where they used those references and parallels to do some interesting stuff.

The idea of the bombing run at the beginning, the movie’s first set-piece battle, was, I thought, Very Stupid, but I get what they were going for with it and their execution of that was done well enough that I didn’t necessarily mind it. The basic idea: The FO is chasing the Resistance out of its hiding places and catches Leia’s crew in the midst of them evacuating their base from TFA; Poe and the fighters scramble to buy the evacuation time and stop a new FO siege-ship called a Dreadnought, from destroying the base before the evacuation can be completed. From practically the first lines they start introducing their themes; the opening(or maybe near-opening) shot is at the base, with one of the officers over-seeing it telling another to forget about the ammunition and intelligence and save the People instead. This idea, that it’s The People and Life that matter most and not resources, tools, and abstractions, gets repeated over and over in the film. It’s particularly important for Poe, who the lead evac officer(a woman; this becomes A Thing in his story in this film) mildly contrasts in this sequence. While she is putting the People first, Poe gets caught up in the opportunities for Victory afforded by the Dread’s vulnerability. After having won time for the evacuation Poe is ordered back but refuses, countermanding Leia’s orders to the fighter wings and ordering them to begin their bombing runs. They follow him over Leia(again: will become A Thing), and the sequence continues to needless tragedy.

So the Stupid: The bombers are big, unwieldy(I’m tempted to call them antimanuveurable), incredibly vulnerable, and just entirely impractical in their design. Their design is clearly inspired by the B-Wings but whereas those had heavy shielding, torpedo bays, and ion cannons, these are just sitting ducks with belly turrets, which are about as useful as you’d expect in a space-battle. Nothing about these is functional(they have to be over their target for pete’s sake, and they have frigging bomber scopes!), everything about these is meant to evoke WWII bombers, and all but one of them is immediately blown up to set up the death of Rose’s sister on the last bomber, heroically taking out the Dread right before her own ship kicks it. So Stupid But, like I said, it’s clear what they’re trying to do with this -establish that it is an unequal fight, emphasize that the Resistance are People and Individuals not faceless cogs in an institution, evoke WWII imagery to really drive home the anti-fascist nature of the Resistance and the Fascist nature of the First Order and further the film’s arguments, shine a spot-light on Poe’s flaws and their terrible costs even when he’s in his element, and make an engaging action scene while doing it- and they do it so well and so successfully that I didn’t mind the Stupidity of it. Unfortunately the movie then goes on to basically make this ALL about Poe, which undermines the PEOPLE!! message a bit as I’ll get into later, by having the only reaction to their entire bombing wing getting killed and plenty of fighter-pilots being Leia slapping and demoting him for his profligacy with his pilots’ lives and lecturing him about the leadership position she is STILL, after he got their entire bombing wing killed, grooming him for. Ugh. Like I said: Later.

The Last Jedi fits Very Well with This Theory by Diamanda Hagan on Youtube about Star Wars being a Cardassian “Repetitive Epic”. There are references out the Wazoo to the Original Trilogy, it’s an unabashed riff on The Empire Strikes Back(with hints of Return), characters openly reference the events of Return, Rey explicitly places herself in the role of Luke to Ren’s Vader in Return, explicitly conceives of herself and others within an ongoing historical teleology, it structures all of this about Family(while subtly subverting Family and Lineage as a theme in favor of loyalty to ideals/The State via Rey’s status as a orphan sold into slavery), and as such it cyclically fulfills the same function within the larger serial/cyclical narrative as Empire(I won’t get into the prequels that shall not be named).

Hamill plays Luke Wonderfully as a Filthy Hermit-Wizard Island-Hag XD His milking of that Totally Chill and Totally Cognizant Plesiosaulrus and subsequent raw-drinking of said milk was Inspired as Fuck :| :| 125% Malcontented Gremlin. I’ve tried to avoid review and discussion cause Spoilers, but I’ve seen some suggestion that people don’t like his characterization here and I disagree vehemently. Yes, he’s not the Luke of the OT, but the Luke of the OT didn’t blame himself and his “weakness” for the moral corruption and crimes of his nephew, nor for the deaths of half a dozen young students who trusted him. OT Luke hadn’t spent decades beating himself up for the “arrogance” and “pride” of his “Legend”, and the “weakness” that allowed this to led him to overestimate his abilities as a teacher and underestimate one particular student(I don’t think it did, but it’s clear that’s what he’s been telling himself). OT Luke isn’t punishing himself and projecting his own self-hatred and self-punishment onto “The Jedi”; This Luke is. Seeing his failure of Ben Solo as the result of Hubris, personal Weakness, and a loss of faith in Redemption at a critical moment, he projects that onto the Jedi Order who become, for him, Hubristic, Weak, and Hypocritical. He sees himself as irredeemable and deserving of death; so too he sees the Jedi. He’s been living with this negativity for years. He’s “cut himself off from the Force” -literally cut himself off from the universe itself and the Flow of all Being- out of disgust in himself(and via projection Jedi, the Force, etc) and as punishment. This is OT Luke after years of believing himself a Legend, after -as he sees it- his mortal flaws killing that Legend through a failure complete and deeply personal, and after even more years of swallowing the poison that resulted from that. I found it entirely believable, and wonderfully brought to life by Hamill.

I like Rey’s story much better than the other two, Finn&Rose’s story second most, and Poe’s story the least.

In fact I found Poe’s story to be kind of infuriating.

Here’s Poe’s narrative in this film: He’s a Heroic and Dashing Fighter-Pilot and he needs to Learn to Be the Leader He was Born to Be, no matter how many far more sensible and courageous women will have to repeatedly die, sacrifices to or for his grandstanding, for him to do so(it takes at least two, possibly three, pseudo-four, women given appreciable face-time on screen. There’s an unnamed A-wing pilot that may have died or may have made it through the movie I couldn’t really tell, and then there’s Leia’s near-death). He sees the Bomber attack as heroic and those who died as Heroic Martyrs to the cause, but Leia reminds him: they’re still dead. Those were people who didn’t have to go on that mission, who didn’t have to die, and that leadership means remembering what, exactly, you’re fighting for(Hint: it’s People! What Your Fighting For is PEEEOOOPLEEEEEE!!!!!!!! Of Course I did this :|). He sees Holdo’s cautious husbanding of their people and resources as betrayal, and so he instigates a mutiny in service of a hairbrained longshot plan that doesn’t work, putting everyone’s lives at risk in the process; AND his love for such Romantic longshots compromises that very mission, which in turn compromises Holdo’s plan, which puts Holdo in the position of having to choose between kamikaze and letting the Resistance be destroyed. Her death, I felt I was being asked to believe, showed him a True Leader’s approach to sacrifice; all I saw was an awesome figure of feminine leadership and strength, a perfect replacement for if not Leia(since Holdo wasn’t one of the Big Three) at least Akbar or Mon Mothma, well-crafted by writing and performance only to be dashed to bits at the last moment in service of Poe’s character development. And in a way that undermined the film’s larger message about leadership, risk, and sacrifice, no less. So I am Upset about this |:(

And during all this Leia’s fleet is in a slow-motion chase with the First Order through the actual middle of nowhere(so there’s no real sense of motion, either, aside from the occasional abandoned ship drifting back to be shot apart) while the Resistance manages to stay just barely one step ahead of them on low fuel reserves. IDK if TLJ introduces this(I kinda feel like it does) but this chase is necessitated by the conceit that hyperspace travel can’t normally be tracked but the FO has somehow figured out how to do it. Realizing they’ve done this is what sends Finn and Rose to Canto Bight in the first place(looking for a coder to help them break into the FO ship to disable their tracking), and Poe’s Doofery plays out with that backdrop. 

I’ve seen some folks complain about Canto Bight but I thought it was fine and pivotal to the political message of the film, and consequently to Rose’s role and Finn’s arc. Its decadence is presented as the other side of the First Order’s coin, and the poverty it inflicts on the jockeys, the slavery it inflicts on the Fathiers, the ultimate goal of the FO, the source of CB’s decadence, and the evil the Resistance is fighting to end. Finn’s political and moral awakening is even mirrored in his opinion of the place: when Rose and he arrive he loves it, but as his awareness of the exploitation and corruption it’s built on grows, so too does his conviction in the correctness of making sacrifices for the Resistance and its cause. It’d have been nice if they could have had this be a more natural process and rest less on Rose dropping exposition on him, but obvsl time is a factor and Rose needed to be pivotal to this process to fulfill her role in the film and his story. Finn’s arc is realizing it’s not just about him and Rey and their safety, and you can’t do that without another, new person for him to care about and be cared for by, and having her be, essentially, his moral mentor(Rose pretty nearly parallels Ben Kenobi’s role in Star Wars/New Hope for him here) made that even stronger and more satisfying for me. I also liked that they included del Toro’s character as her foil; having Finn’s choice be an actual choice, embodied by two different people relating to him for two different reasons, made that choice much stronger, even if you never really got a sense that Finn was tempted by DJ.

Rose was Delightful overall, and I love how they defied expectations by setting her up as a “Tech” only to have her basically be the emotional and moral heart of Finn’s story, and arguably the film in general. I don’t really have a lot to say here because it’s just very simple: she reminds Finn of the things he cares about, of WHY he runs risks, that other people are just as invested in their struggles as he is and that ultimately it is the People who matter. The Fight is for the People; Victory is the Freedom, Survival, and Rule of the People; his desire for peace and dignity is no different than anyone else’s and the Resistance is fighting for that against the Fascism, Aristocratic Hierarchy, and social corruption which the First Order represents. I feel like this point could have been made more strongly by tying the First Order more directly to the Star Wars upper classes in the Canto Bight section, and I also feel like -given Palpatine’s human-supremacist notions and racism- there should have been far more humans among the upper crust and far fewer aliens, but I recognize that, on the first point, TFA had kind of written them into a corner on this topic in how it chose to present the FO/Resistance conflict, and on the second, that the impulse to show their creature-making chops(and include a Cantina Scene in the film) would be quite strong. Also I’m sure that, while Johnson may be given the writer credit on this film, Disney had significant input on the film and its overall message, and tying wealth/the wealthy explicitly to conservative politics and its perennial abuses(slavery, corruption, war, extracting wealth for the non-wealthy through political manipulation[in this case, weapons-trading and the war-mongering that makes it most profitable]) is far too liberal/leftist a message for a company like Disney to tolerate in their films.

Rey’s story is just excellent in so many ways but a lot of my appreciation of it is tied up with TLJ’s choice to go with a more OT(original trilogy) and Zen approach to the Force which I’ll talk about separately so I don’t know how much I’ll say on this here. It was a very intimate and internal story, structured almost like Buddhist monk tales(so sort of fairytale)[1]. Like: She comes to Luke, Luke doesn’t want to teach her, then in response to her persistence he says “I’ll give you three lessons over three days”(which I remember as taking place at Dawn, Midday, and either Dusk or Evening on three consecutive days, but my brain might be making that particular referential bit up; I’d need to see it again), except these lessons are meant to teach her why she should give up on The Force. Of course(in eternal trophic tradition), her purity of purpose, will, and dedication ends up instead teaching Him that his choice to turn his back on The Force and the Universe was wrong, and bringing him back into engagement with the World.

Her interactions with Ren follow a similar trophic logic(which, again, I’ll talk about in another post) except along a more “two students” than “master and student” narrative. They are both pursuing the same thing(self knowledge and control; mastery and understanding of The Force) but for very different reasons and from very different backgrounds, and these reasons and backgrounds directly influence where they end up: Rey’s “success” at accepting and internalizing them with equanimity while also setting her desires aside, leading her to Balance; Ren’s “failure” to do so by seeking the “strength” to dominate and “kill” them, and thus continual consumption by and obsession with his past and his desires. Their interactions are deeply personal, concerning their emotions and confusion and fears, and also somewhat unsettling(which I think they should be) but I don’t think that they are, at all, romantic; though there is a simultaneously humorous and disturbing scene where Ren is topless, Rey asks him to get dressed, and he refuses. Humorous for the obvious reasons; disturbing as there’s a sense to all of Ren’s behaviors in these moments of trying to manipulate her. Rey is eternally reaching for understanding, even as she feels rage, sorrow, and disgust for the monster he has chosen to become, and he is eternally trying to use her reaching as a means to power, as he uses everything. Again, the “two student” dynamic: the “good” one who seeks enlightenment honestly, and the “bad” who enters the monastery for the political and social power a monk’s life can afford; even their relative social condition -her a nameless orphan, him an aristocrat from a bloodline filled with important monastic figures- plays into the dynamics and traditions of these stories.

Ok that’s about it for right now. The next one will probably deal more in-depth with Rey’s story and how The Force is presented.

[1]Though maybe I’m wrong about these particular parallels I’m drawing here. My exposure to these tales is very limited, and mostly I know Japanese ones(though some of those are transformations of earlier Indian, Chinese, and Vietnamese ones), so perhaps these aren’t the prevalent Buddhist narratives I took them as.