#it's been 8 years but i still think about it sometimes

[calangolengo]

Some headcanons that I think about a lot for Mute!Stan:

1. He didn't stop talking right away, it was a gradual process. Each year he spoke less, which got him into less trouble as a criminal, he had to do horrible things to himself to control his tongue and speak softly, he was yelled at a lot on the streets to shut up.

2. He learned some sign language on the street, but he wasn't fluent so he still had to speak sometimes.

3. When he got Ford's card he was barely speaking anymore, talking to his brother was one thing since his voice had been out of use for months already.

4. After Ford falls into the portal, Stan organizes his own funeral, his mother almost recognizes his voice because it was very different from Ford's at this point, so he decides to stop talking completely. People saw this as a response to the trauma of losing his brother so they didn't talk much about it.

5. Stan still opened the Mystery Shack, but without the guided tours. He simply made it more like a museum. He placed a speaker in front of each strange object where he recorded some descriptions of the creatures in advance, alone, at night.

6. He spread several speakers throughout the cabin with price information and random curiosities. As well as a larger speaker that constantly repeated that they did not accept refunds at the Mystery Shack.

7. The tours were created by Soos. As a child, he would visit the cabin with his grandmother and, since she was bad with the speakers, he would invent descriptions of the objects himself, which always gathered a small crowd around him who bought many more things on the way out. Stan hired him almost immediately.

8. Soos quickly learned sign language to talk to Stan and later taught Wendy, who also went to work there.

9. The kids learned sign language at home when they learned they were going to stay with their estranged great uncle who they had only heard about and who was apparently mute. It was a challenging project for them. Dipper learned it to challenge himself academically and Mabel learned it because it was fun to use a secret language and also because she thought it was like creating spells with her hands. They weren't very good, but they managed well.

10. When the portal is reactivated, Mabel is still left with the decision of whether to turn it off or not and for the first time in years Stan speaks and asks her not to turn it down, which shocks everyone because they thought Stan was mute since birth.

11. Ford is not happy when he comes back and Stan doesn't talk to him, despite all his knowledge of sign language it was never something that caught his attention and he suspects that Stan is just doing it just to be a jerk.

12. The kids get upset with Stan for being able to talk all that time and refuse to acknowledge his sign language for the rest of the day, avoiding looking at his hands the whole time, Stan panics and basically Soos is the only one who makes communication between Stan and the others viable because he translates everything Stan says.

13. The kids talk to Stan again the next day because he seems miserable for not being able to talk to them and also because they are so used to this type of communication that they forget that they were ignoring him.

14. Ford is the hardest to accommodate; when he's not deliberately ignoring Stan, he tries to catch him off guard so he'll talk. At one point, an argument starts at night on the porch, demanding that his brother talk, which leads Stan to try to talk again, but can't because he's desperate and has a panic attack.

15. During Weirdmageddon, they still switch identities, with Stan speaking and acting exactly like Ford. Bill is tricked because he knows that one of the twins can't talk and ends up being erased with Stan's mind.

16. When his memory is erased, Stan starts talking again. It takes a while for his voice to come back because he didn't use it much. The children still use sign language while talking to him to try to bring his memories back. The scrapbook works little by little.

17. With each passing day, Stan remembers a little more and each day he talks less until, by the time Stan and Ford get on their boat, he has all his memory restored and has stopped talking completely again.

18. Stan speaks few words sometimes, he says his brother's name, a few words of comfort or a greeting, only to Ford and in a low tone of voice, it doesn't happen much but whenever it does it brings Ford to tears, he preserves each of these moments as treasures.

That's it for now, I've been thinking a lot about Mute Stan in the last few days and I wanted to express these thoughts a little, whoever wants to add more things or take over the narrative from here on out, feel free, the floor is open.

[robinsnest2111]

the dysphoria never really goes away if you have no other options than to ignore and repress it and hope for the best

[rubenesque-as-fuck]

Anyway I got notified that I'll be getting a nice $$ bonus from work today and I wish that I could celebrate with someone in a way that didn't just feel like obnoxious bragging. Like beyond the financial aspect, it's just nice to be recognized for good work and I actually feel... good?? about this job??

But it feels so silly to say I want to celebrate when I just got back from what felt like my first real vacation in a very long time and am doing cool comic con stuff this weekend and am scheduled for a new tattoo next weekend. I am already doing lots of things to try to make myself feel good! It feels selfish to want more!

But I guess even with all of that, there's just still a hunger for external validation from trusted sources. Will I ever grow out of wanting someone to be proud of me?

[faaun]

ok let's catch up quickly

[noirandchocolate]

At the Spontaneous Office Lunch Party Today

Judge: I was appointed to the bench in 2001! The millennium class of appointees.

Me: *quietly to group of coworkers I’m standing with* Geez, I was just graduating high school then.

Coworker: *turns head to me, expression somewhat incredulous* I was in the fifth grade…

Me: *soul leaves my body* Don’t…say that…

[nowendil]

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[ct-hardcase]

can’t tell if I’m mad that I still care about eighth as a character or mad that I care about him less

[arielluva]

grief is such a weird emotion bc i can be fine most of the time even if it think about it, but then sometimes thinking about it digs it up all over again

[trinitea-fics]

I hate when you're very sure you're over something, but then you're awake at 4am and clearly Not Over it yet :/

[softshuji]

You ever just randomly get hit with a traumatic memory and you're like wtf (pls don't read this if you're sensitive and stuff this is kinda...heavy???)

I was thinking about a few years ago when I went to drop my brother off to school, I was super sleep deprived cos of uni and it was very early and I walked into the road without looking, about half a second from being hit with a car before they slammed the breaks. And I was so so tired it took me a second to realize what had happened and I looked up and the person at the wheel was My dad..and it dawned on me in that second that had he not been a good driver, and had I been a second too late or even early, he'd have hit me with the car. And the worst tbing was, for some reason I wasn't thinking about how i would have died, I was thinking of how he could have killed me and it would have destroyed him to such an extent that it would have killed everyone else too. I would have ruined my family and it would have been my fault despite not being here to see it happen. And I felt sick and full of dread despite being fine in the end.

Sometimes I think of how my dad has nearly killed me on more than one occasion, and even though things are very much calmer now, and we have a semi decent relationship that isn't as bad as it was back then, I would have changed the trajectory of EVERYONE'S life had I not experienced some miracle. I wouldn't even be here, I wouldn't have ever even seen my sister (or watched her grow up along with my brothers)

And the thing is I don't blame him either, that was actually my fault. It was early and I should have been looking. Sometimes it really Dawn's on me that I must have been saved in some way, even if I don't think of how that often.

[yume-fanfare]

posting hnw-related things to twitter feels so weird its like Do They Know im not just doing redraws ? im actually crazy insane about this i got credentials and everything im overqualified for redraws

[blizzardfluffykpop]

As a Kpop fan now, if you've been here since at least 2021/2022ish~ you've outlived 2 apps. V Live and Universe, congrats, you don't get anything, but you can say you've outlived them.

[toastsnaffler]

tried going to bed early bc ive just been sitting staring at the wall or my phone all afternoon but it's been 3 hours now and I can't stop crying. :(

[francofolle]

y’know, i moved around a lot as a kid and while it didn’t bother me too much (it made me fall in love with traveling but that’s a separate story), the one thing i wanted was to grow up with a best friend, have someone to go through all the milestones and everything with in person, not via letter or text or facebook.

and then last night, i went with my middle school best friend and college best friend to see my elementary school best friend perform and i keep tearing up. because it wasn’t my whole childhood or youth, but all these people have been my friends since the first day i met them, and now all of us are almost thirty and we’re still friends. and occasionally, when adult life lets us, i can hang out with them all together. i’m so just damn grateful for them.

[some-random-fandom-chick]

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[raeathnos]

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