#it's first and foremost a self indulgent post for me and my partner because we enjoy rampart a normal amount

[elivanto]

STAR WARS: THE BAD BATCH 3.12 JUGGERNAUT

[belovedblabber]

This is my very self-indulgent post about how I think pre-Resurrection Augustine was super in love with John and pining wildly and then finally confessed it at the last moment before he was killed. Will people care about this post? No. But I’m doing it for ME. And for @i-hardlyknowher who said she would like to read this post if I ever made it and thus served as the catalyst for me deciding to indeed make this post here on this Monday night 

(Also the whole vibe between pre(and post)-Resurrection Mercy and Augustine and Mercy, John, and Augustine as a trio is its own super interesting thing that deserves its own post because oh my god are they SOMETHING (that I am enamoured with) but in this case I am just talking about my decision to start passionately asserting that backstory Augustine was quietly pining for John and only confessed right before he died because I like tragedy and drama and I like constructing elaborate little ideas in my head)

ANYWAY

Setting aside (for now, I’ll circle around to it later) their dynamic that I am obsessed with in HtN, let’s look at the first mention we get of Augustine (or rather A— but we’re gonna just call him Augustine) in John’s backstory extravaganza:

It’s very sweet that A. Augustine apparently had the chops to go anywhere, but chose to stick with John (and I love the fact that John seems almost awed when he says this) and B. that John relied on him to handle shareholders and meetings. Idk, I just think this little bit is sweet. 

Moving on:

Augustine (apparently very frequently) checking in on John to make sure if he’s okay and worrying about his sleep, if he’s doing drugs etc. I think the “you know you can tell me” is my favorite thing here.  It’s just sweet. I love that Augustine is so concerned and so gentle about it (to be clear I also love Mercy’s ‘oh my god you are on amphetamines and coke’ approach to worrying sdfgh). But yeah, I think that Augustine’s “you know you can tell me” suggests a closeness, and also a devotion and confidentiality on Augustine’s part. There’s a lot there, okay? Also it makes me emotional.

Continuing:

See this is just simp behavior, in my opinion. That’s all I have to say here.

Next:

Again I just love how Augustine is so consistently the one worrying over John in this very particular way. It all seems very tender and intimate, and also like, listen, I am choosing to read it as the actions of someone who is very very in love with his increasingly off the rails best friend/partner in sciencecrime.

Moving on to the highlight of my little thesis here:

Listen. Listen. First and foremost “their hands in my hands” “We’re together. We’ll go together.” I cannot cope. The vibes these three have. The way they were together from the start, the DEVOTION. Who they were before, and who they became and how it all got so twisted and broken and undone. It makes me want to go insane. But anyway, Augustine. The first time I read this chapter/interlude (it’s my favorite part of the book go figure) I immediately went ‘he was confessing his love to John.’ And I have just doubled down on that. Clearly. Anyway, I really do like the reading of Augustine pining after John and confessing that he’s in love with him at the last moment. And I think that it is a perfectly valid reading. And come on. The tragedy of it is tasty. “A—telling me something,” what if what he was telling him was that he was IN LOVE with him and had been for a long time?? What if that?? And John didn’t even hear it, and doesn’t even know what Augustine was telling him. Just that it was “something.”

And the fact that in the next moment Augustine was shot right in front of Mercy and John really adds to the flavor of all of this, it must be said. 

And then of course there’s the fact that Augustine doesn’t remember any of this. Chef’s kiss, love it, absolute tragedy

Also I will point out that Augustine was the first of the gang that John chose to resurrect. Idk. There’s something there. 

ANYWAY I have a bunch more to say about all of this as it pertains to how it feeds over into HtN (and also a lot to say about my thoughts/speculation about the whole memory wipe thing John pulled on the gang) but I am putting it under the read-more because otherwise this post length gets a little long. So, if you for some reason want to go further down the rabbit hole of my Pepe Silvia moment I’ve got going on over here, feel free to peek under the read-more

Hi. We still don’t know the extent of the memory wipe John did on his friends. Was it literally everything? Was it just events leading up to the end? Was it selective pick and choose bits and pieces? How much did John take? I want to know! Based on my reading it sounds pretty extensive. It seems like a lot, if not all was taken (John says “none of them will have to remember anything,” and then replies in the affirmative when Harrow asks “To forget...everything?” so it seems like he really did a number. I hope we get to learn exactly what he did, and what the aftermath was in terms of what his friends were like when they came back etc. But regardless, Augustine certainly, at least from my understanding, doesn’t remember the events leading up to his death, and his memory loss likely goes much farther than that. So at the bare minimum he doesn’t remember how this all ended and he doesn’t remember telling John his feelings. And at the other end of that spectrum he forgot a LOT more, very possibly to an extent that he wouldn’t even remember falling in love with John at all. In HtN we have John telling Augustine “Augustine...if the man you were—the man you were before you died, before the Resurrection—could hear what you just said to me, he’d tear your throat out.” Which then gets a “Thanks for confirming that,” from Augustine which to me suggests that this memory wipe was more than just the events leading up to John’s no good very bad nuclear situation. It suggests it was a lot more. Even that it may have been everything or almost everything (and if it was an entire or almost entire memory wipe, was ANYTHING left? Did they still remember how to be people? How did they retain the gist of who they were? How were they rebuilt? Were they like Nona at first?)

ANYWAY point being, the fact that Augustine can’t remember his confession (and probably a whole lot else, as speculated on incoherently above dfghj) makes this all the more tragic. 

To wrap up...whatever this all is, I want to talk about John and Augustine in HtN a bit. Like I said above, I lean towards the idea that the memory wipe was more across the board. But clearly he and Augustine (and Mercy oh my god) still have like...those bonds are there. Mercy and Augustine in the present of HtN have like, a twisted bitter tragic version of the dynamic they seemed to have  pre-Resurrection (according to John’s recollection), and there’s still this very...complex situation vis a vis their dynamic with John. 

This post is about John and Augustine so to focus on them: Augustine very clearly lays out to Mercy that he is John’s favorite, that if she [Mercy] killed him [Augustine] John would never forgive her, but if it was the other way around Augustine notes that John would forgive him pretty quickly. Augustine also calls John by his name a lot more than Mercy, which I just think is interesting. I think it could be said that whenever Mercy calls him John (rather than My Lord or some similar address) there is a relevance or character reason to her doing it. Anyway, we also see a lot of comfortable familiarity with John and Augustine. How much of this is an act of Augustine’s part, given what we know about his plotting against John and what he knows about John? Hard to say. But to whatever degree the Augustine we see in HtN may be putting on some sort of act, it’s clear that the dynamic he shows with John is a dynamic that they’ve had over the past ten thousand years, and that that dynamic, with all of its familiarity and fondness and love, is not something fake or put on, but is rather a dynamic that has existed for such a long time in earnest but has now been, on Augustine’s side, twisted by what he knows. I think HtN Augustine is a weird mix of like, he hates John and has actively plotted against him but there is still that familiarity and that love that has been poisoned by what Augustine has learned about the man who he very clearly loves in this deep and broken way. We see that very clearly in some stuff I’m going to ramble about below (also I just think it’s funny that Augustine’s best strategy for ‘distract John so Harrow can kill G1deon’ was ‘threeway.’ Like come on man I feel like there were other options wtf). 

(And also then take all of the above stuff about their HtN dynamic within the wider tragic context of  their dynamic pre-Resurrection, aka what this entire post is technically about) 

But anyway. I really do want to know the details of that memory wipe and the aftermath. I love how we see echoes of their pre-Resurrection selves in present day HtN Augustine and Mercy, but they’ve been so twisted and broken by time and grief and betrayal (and that’s not even getting into the memory fuckery).

ALL OF THIS IS TO SAY that I think the context we get from backstory recollections in NtN adds a lot of interesting flavor to John and Augustine’s dynamic and interactions in HtN. And also that if you go along and enjoy the ‘Augustine confessed his love right before dying’ reading that I’m having so much fun with, it is its own tasty little flavor packet situation.

Like, this:

“be the man I want you to be,” etc. Augustine wants John to be a man he’s not. Even at this juncture, he still wants that. He’s held the burden of learning about John’s lies for so long, and then of course just got sucker punched with the cherry on top shortly before this scene, but he still desperately wants John to be ‘the man I want you to be.’ Love it. Who is that man Augustine? Who is the man you want him to be, and why? Where does that want come from? 

Then there’s this exchange:

I love this so much. Augustine apologizing for raising his voice. John’s quiet “Don’t worry about it.” There’s so much going on here that I truly do not have it in me to articulate but just...look. Look at it

Ok now I am actually almost done. This:

John offering Augustine forgiveness. 

“Augustine lifted his eyes to the Lord.” (I just love this line, it reads like a religious text, it reads like a passage from a hagiography. Which is intentional I’m sure. Saint Augustine, after all).

“No, John,” he said.

Honestly that ‘no, John,” moment is one of my favorite parts of the entire book, and I dearly wish there was fanart of this whole scene, and of this moment, going around. If I could draw comics you KNOW I’d be doing this scene.

Anyway I just love that offer of forgiveness from John. As if HE has any right to think he holds the power of forgiveness here (it’s also an interesting flip from his seeming, and I think genuine, desperation for Mercy’s forgiveness shortly before this. I don’t think that was an act on John’s part, I think he can just flip on a dime and totally change over without the previous emotions and actions having been insincere. And I think that’s way scarier than just ‘oh he was faking.’)

And I love Augustine, who has loved John for ten thousand years (and loved him before that too, and (if you want to go with my reading of it) died telling him he loved him, being offered forgiveness and making that final choice of “No.”

It’s very tasty

Final point is this:

I love the visual of them locked together swirling down through the river and I love the delightful poetic beat of Augustine lashing them together to try and wrestle John (and himself) down to their doom in hell. They’re going together. He’s made the choice to doom himself so long as he can take John down with him. John, who he’s loved (and hated?) for so long That’s capital T Tragedy BaBY!  Also it’s high camp drama

Anyway what do you think a good ship name would be for them I think Jaugustine is funny

[doublegoblin]

Author Ask Tag Game

Well this is a biggin! Thanks for the TAG @gummybugg

I send an invite to @asterhaze (Lol I know gummy tagged ya but nyeh) @angie-j-kay @tailoroffates @tisiphonewolfe @lola-theshowgrl @conkers-theficwriter (that's right I got you and your alt, talk about that fanfic!) @stanrendipity @randomstupidchaos @catchingbigfish

I'll be centering my attention on Rituals and Red Tape because I am nothing if not self-indulgent of my baby.

(1) What is the main lesson of your story (e.g. kindness, diversity, anti-war), and why did you choose it?

Your adversities are with you but do not have to define you Bodies are meant to be used as an expression of ones self Corporations are eldritch entities who no matter how much love they shove up your ass will replace you in a heart beat There are no true transitory spaces with which your actions can be left behind, what you may see as a place to visit is someone else's home. Angry Nihilism is the easiest and most childest response to discovering you are not the main character of a story. and Let others be content in their life, not everyone wants to be out there making a name for themselves.

Why did I choose these? To be completely honest I didn't set out with them in mind. These are what has sprung up as I delved into writing more and more and was finding some elements that were hidden from me while I fiddled with the keys. These are as much lessons for an audience as they are for myself.

(2) What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding (like real-life cultures, animals, famous media, websites, etc.)?

So I know the stigma that was (maybe still is) attached to this statement but it comes from my dreams. Wait wait wait let me explain! So for a while I have had (although I haven't for a little bit) an ongoing sort of continuous dream. Not like the same dream over and over but more these dreams take place in the same location and I am always in this same role. I would give my partner "lore updates" every so often because it was something fun. Well on a long car ride (3hr) we spent the time chit chatting and I realized I wanted to make a story out of this. So during the same car ride the basic skeleton of the story started to emerge. Then wham bam thank ya mam fast forward and here we are. A lot of the world building also just kinda spring from my own imagination. Like I'm sure I maybe got the pieces from soooomewhere but can't tell ya, unless they are an obvious reference to something like the Giants on The Farm being "as tall as windmill" being a reference to Don Quixote, just small little nuggets here and there.

(3) What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness, help readers grow as a person?

Alex is honestly just trying to get through each assignment with all their limbs still on their body and as little paperwork to do as possible. They just want to have a nice easy life that is comfortably mundane. What I want to do is entertain first and foremost. Like sure my stuff can have lessons and morals and whattheshit but if it isn't entertaining to at least one person I feel I have failed. And also, maybe help someone who needs to work through some stuff do so through Alex or anyone else in the book. I can't say for certain that can or will happen but there is always a chance.

(4) How many chapters is your story going to have?

No idea, as many as it needs to be told in full. I'll know when we get there lol.

(5) Is it fanfiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it?

Teehee time to self promote! This is original content. And I post the first draft chapters on here but I post the more edited and more concrete chapters on my WattPad MaxwellAlabaster I try and have the stuff on here accessible through their own dedicated pages on my blog and up to date.

(6) When and why did you start writing?

I started to write this story about a year ago. It started as a writing only for me kind of thing as I was dealing with some life stuff. But, once I started to write and post my stuff on here I really fell in love with the hobby and putting my things out there for people to hopefully enjoy!

(7) Do you have any words of engagement for fellow writers of Writeblr? What other writers of Tumblr do you follow?

Despite my verboseness I can be quite shy and anxious. So i tend to follow people who follow me first lol. It's not out of a self inflated ego but an uneasy feeling. So far it's worked out well and I've really enjoyed the people I have interacted with! Even if it's just getting little hearts here and there.

Something I adopted early and fully: Write for yourself (but we've all heard that before!) Fine! Write slop. Like just absolute pig pleasing slop. Not everything needs to be the next big seller, the most enjoyable, or "good" piece of literature. Write what makes you happy and what you have fun writing. Go outside your comfort zone and make an absolute mess of it all. You don't have to post everything after all. This is advice for even those of you that rely on writing for an income. When you can, just write the hottest and most fun garbage that you want. It's really refreshing to just go hog wild and look at the word doc or whatever and go "Wow...this is horrible, I love it".

Also don't let people tell you there is only one way to write. Like yeah grammar and stuff is good for being comprehensible, but there is power in each punctuation you use;or leave out~ Get flowery with your language too sometime Steve doesn't cheer; sometimes his voice carries so high the birds grow jealous.

Lastly: you don't need an english degree or whatever to be a writer, look at me, I have a freakin science degree. Did you put words on a page to convey a meaning of feeling? You are a writer. Don't let others take that away from you. You are a writer because you write dam it.

[venenorita]

HE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all have witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.

Mun Name: Mercy      Age: 27      Contact: IM, discord

Character(s) I rp: Bambi, Candice, Giselle, Loly, Tier, Emilou, Nanao, Hiyori, Kuukaku, Yoruichi, Ariugrette Tsetsara (OC), Tatsuki Arisawa, Kobu Merani (OC), Ajora Faengerhol (OC), Medusa Gorgon, Subida Roja (OC), Noriko Tsunayashiro (OC), (I’m gonna stop here for my own sanity @n@) Which muse(s) inspires you the most atm?(for MM): Bambi, Loly, Tier, and probably Noriko.  Current Fandom(s): Bleach presently.  Fandom(s) you have an AU for:  Errr, none really? Not that come to mind at least. My language(s): English Themes I’m interested in for rp:   Fantasy / Science fiction / Horror / Western / Romance / Thriller / Mystery / Dystopia / Adventure / Modern / Erotic / Crime / Mythology / Classic / History / Renaissance / Medieval / Ancient / War / Family / Politics / Religion / School / Adulthood / Childhood / Apocalyptic / Gods / Sport / Music / Science / Fights / Angst / Smut / Drama / etc. Themes/Genres you have an AU for:None Really dedicated to any particular genre or theme. Not that I’d be unwilling to make some. AUs are my jam. 

Preferred Thread length: one-liner / 1 para / 2 para / 3+ / novella. Asks can be send by: Mutuals / Non-Mutuals / Personals / Anons. Can Asks be continued?:   YES / NO   only by Mutuals?:  YES / NO. Preferred thread type: crack / casual nothing too deep / serious / deep as heck. Is realism / research important for you in certain themes?:   YES / Depends / NO. Are you atm open for new plots?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS. Do you handle your draft / ask - count well?:  YES / NO / SOMEWHAT. How long do you usually take to reply?:  24h / 1 week / 2 weeks / 3+ / months / years. I’m okay with interacting: original characters / a relative of my character (an oc) / duplicates / my fandom / crossovers / multi-muses / self-inserts / people with no AU verse for my fandom / canon-divergent portrayals / au-versions (as main or only verse). Do you post more ic or occ?:  IC / OOC. Are you selective with following others?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.  

Best ways to approach you for rp/plotting:  IM  An IM will usually do the trick since I usually don’t go about giving my Discord in most cases. But yea, literally just send me an IM, preferably with an idea in mind. Alternatively if you’re particularly bold you can send an ask or a meme. 

What expectations do you hold towards your plotting partner:  .  I dunno how to really word this one in particular. I  usually don’t like overplotting, so be open to some flexibility. Frameworking is fine but I don’t wanna script stuff from the getgo. Also please work WITH me? If I’m the one throwing out ideas and all I’m getting is a simple ‘eh’ or ‘no’, or just in general if you’re not helping contribute. Like....I get being anxious but I need something to work with? Suggestions. Recommended alterations to my ideas? There’s nothing more absurd to deal with than someone who agrees to plot with you only to contribute nothing and just shoot stuff down. 

When you notice the plotting is rather one-sided, what do you do?:  I’ll try my best to work with it. Some people aren’t great with cranking out ideas, I get that. Heck sometimes I myself don’t feel like coming up with a lot of stuff. But at some point I’m gonna ask them to put in a little effort if we’re not getting anywhere. 

How do you usually plot with others, do you give input or leave most work towards your partner?: I at the VERY least give input. Ask questions, things like that. I’ll generally come up with a few off the top ideas to try and get things rolling. 

When a partner drops the thread, do you wish to know?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. - And why?:  I wouldn’t mind a poke, but I know stuff can be complicated. Wether you’re busy, losing muse, or you just don’t know how to progress a scene? I’ve certainly had plenty of threads, enjoyable or otherwise, where I say to myself ‘.....I think this is fine here’. Or ‘I don’t know where I’m supposed to go from here’. So I don’t mind if you kinda let it slip into the night. Though a heads up is always appreciated.  - What should your partner do when dropping a thread?:  Kinda outlined up above. But MOST of all, don’t be AFRAID to let me know. I’ll understand 

What could possibly lead you to drop a thread?:  . Business, fatigue, lack of enthusiasm, not knowing how to progress. Or characters that clearly do not want to interact with my muse icly. I know some people really like playing these sorts of individuals, but like yea...uphill battles of that kind can really take it out of me.  - Will you tell your partner?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS.

Is communication in the rpc important to you?   YES / NO. - And why?:  As much as I don’t really require it, because well, I know people have a lot of followers and such, I do feel like a rapport while not required is definitely very constructive to interaction. And honestly, communication tends to help smooth out drama a bit. Which honestly is one of the only big negatives to this kinda community.  - Are you okay with absolute honesty, even if it may means hearing something negative about you and/or portrayal?: Absolutely! I very much encourage people, off anon (though I understand if they prefer the metaphorical mask), to inform me of something they may not like about me or my muses. Even if it may hurt my feelings, I enjoy being able to address and explain things. Cuz it sure beats the hell out of people making assumptions.  - Do you think you can handle such situation in a mature way?  YES / NO.

Why do you rp again, is there a goal?:   Enjoyment. This is a hobby, and I think some people take this a bit too seriously. I’m here to have fun, explore my muses, and that of those I interact with. Get messy, make mistakes, and for pete’s sake chill. 

Wishlist, be it plots or scenarios:  Nothing comes to mind speeeecifically... Honestly for most of my muses, just having someone who WANTS to interact with them is golden. Though I admit to being a bit of a ship goblin from time to time. 

Themes I won’t ever rp / explore:  Nothing outright disgusting or gratuitous. Torture, psychological trauma, ect is fine. That’s how things roll, and I don’t mind them being part of a scene. What I don’t get into is something that’s there for the sake of it. Am I ok with my character being tortured for information? Absolutely. Will I indulge in a thread that’s just some kind of weird torture porn? No. Don’t let it get out of hand. I won’t judge you because cmon, it’s rp. But I reserve the right to decline being a part of it. 

What Type of Starters do you prefer / dislike, can’t work with?: Anything tbh. The only real awkward starters are like.....really specific shoehorning. Or like, an immediate conflict at my character’s detriment. I get having an unusual introduction. I’ve had people who start with shit like “WHAT ARE YOU DOING BREAKING INTO MY HOUSE?” Like cmon. Number one, even I don’t know why my character would break into your house, so they probably Didn’t. Please do not assume the worst and START things off on a bad foot. 

What type of characters catch your interest the most?:  Multifaceted. Not that I judge anyone for being more ...affixed on a particular aspect of their character. Some people are very keen on getting a certain type of rp. Some people just outright play a character who isn’t really shown to be anything other than one thing. But I enjoy exploration of a personality. And a personality, no mater how dull, stupid, or simple someone is, is NEVER monofaceted. I enjoy a muse that has something to dig for or explore emotionally. 

What type of characters catch your interest the least?:  Asocials. I’ve had some decent rp with them SOMEtimes? But like....there’s nothing more aggravating than trying to interact with a character who wants to be left alone and be isolated. Especially ones that are AGGRESSIVELY against it. Especially since I have to WORK to MAKE my character even want to interact with them. 

What are your strong aspects as rp partner?:  MY.......errr....en...thusiasm? I don’t actually know tbh. My malleability with my muses perhaps? Errr I like thinking about stuff. IF you ask me a question, I will do my best to answer it and explore the realm within that question. I dunno what you would exactly call that though... I am ...headcannony?

What are your weak aspects as rp partner?: I am flaky. Sometimes it’s cuz of real life getting hard. Sometimes it’s because I need a break from tumblr. Sometimes I just poof and forget about tumblr for like a while. But yea. I have a tendency to vanish, it’s something I’m working on but it’s something that happens. 

Do you rp smut?:  YES / NO. Do you prefer to go into detail?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS. Are you okay with black curtain?:  YES / NO. - When do you rp smut? More out of fun or character development?:  It can go either way? Sometimes things develop that way because of specific characters. But I’m not gonna lie, sometimes its just for the heck of it. Sinday and all that.  - Anything you would not want to rp there?:  Interactions with Real life people as a muse. I respect people doing it. If people wanna rp as Miley Cyrus or whatever, more power to them. But leave me out of it, it just makes me uncomfortable. This also applies to a lesser degree with real life face claims? But I’ve learned to kinda make my peace with that one tbh. 

Are ships important to you?:   YES / NO. Would you say your blog is ship-focused?:   YES / NO / Sometimes? Do you use read more?:  YES / NO / SOMETIMES. Are you: Multi-Ship / Single-Ship / Dual-Ship  —  Multiverse / Singleverse. - What do you love to explore the most in your ships?:  The Nuts and bolts. Sure the honeymoon phase is alright. And bunny-rabbiting has it’s fun times. But what I love most about a ship is finding out how they work as a dynamic. What do they argue about? How do they absolve issues? How do their world views mesh?  - What is your smut tag?: nsfw

Are you okay with pre-established relationships?: YES / NO / Depends - And what kind of ones?: I like a good premise. Just a nice kickoff point, ya know? Soemthing to get past that first awkward phase if anything/ 

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- What could possibly make your Muse interesting towards others, why should they rp with this particular character of yours now, what possible plots do they offer?:  She’s a bitch. But a bitch for a reason? She’s an absolute piece of shit, but a complicated one. She will never EXPRESS appreciation or affection outside of just sexual indulgence. She won’t ever SHOW fluffy affection, or gratefulness to most people. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t FEEL it. With Loly you will get to see a gal struggle with her own inability to trust or love people, while also trusting and loving people. Also ngl she kinda hot? I guess some people consider that a plus?

- With what type of Muses do you usually struggle to rp with?:   I mentioned it before, but muses who aren’t interested in interacting.  - With what type of Muses do they usually work well with?:  Anyone willing to interact with her! Wether that’s to help her, harm her, or just witness the mental gymnastics this little centipede will go through to keep her mental restrictions intact. 

- What interests your Muse(s) in general:  Power, Indulgence, Being a rotten Bitch, maintaining the survival of Las Noches,  Hot people, Strong People, anything that can benefit her in some way.  - What do they desire, is their goal?:  She wants to be able to escape her fear of her own kind.  - What catches their interest first when meeting someone new?:  Wether or not they are a threat to her survival, if they have something to offer her.  - What do they value in a person?:    Lack of Aggression, Visual Appeal, Power.  - What themes do they like talking about?:  Herself or someone else she is interested in. Her Race. The state of the world.  - Which themes bore them?:  Criticism of her, Anything about Aizen. 

- Did they ever went through something traumatic?:  Aizen’s Betrayal, Grimmjow’s assault on her, Yammy’s attempt to kill her. The Quincy Invasion.  - What could possibly trigger them?:  Grimmjow, Yammy, the subject of Aizen.  - What could set them off, enrage them?:  People trying to kill/maim her arbitrarily.  - What could lead to an instant kill?:  Aggressively trying to kill her, making it clear you have no intention to let her live peacefully again. 

- Is there someone /-thing they hate?:  Aizen. Orihime. Hueco Mundo. Being a Hollow/Arrancar.  - Is there someone /-thing they love?:   Menoly, People that try to help her.  

Is your Muse easy to approach?: YES / NO / Kinda - Best ways to approach them?:  It’s a little complicated. But if you’re persistent enough and you genuinely want a positive interaction with her, she will bitch about it but she will eventually soften up. Especially if she feels no reason to fear you. She absolutely won’t trust you at first and it’ll be an uphill battle, but its doable. 

For Antagonists ehh.....just give her breathing room? Feel free to torment her but like....if you get real incessant about it, or outright try to kill her she will actively avoid you like the plague. And if you corner her she WILL try to kill you, and her venom means that no matter how strong you are, she MIGHT pull it off if you are careless.  - Where are they usually to find?:  Verse dependent, but tbh she could be found just about anywhere. She’s usually in  Las Noches, ut she sneaks off to all kinds of places for some peace and quiet, or just to try and enjoy her generally unpleasant existence. 

Something you may still want to point out about your muse?:  Patience WILL pay off eventually? And she’s not a bitch 24/7. Sometimes she’s too tired/bored to be her usual bitchy self. 

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

Tagged by:  Stolen from @pacifv Tagging:  WOOF, this is a REALLY long one lol. So uhhh anyone who WANTS to do it? 

[stolligaseptember]

for the fanfic questions: friday, saturday, april, may, august, september, december, minutes, yesterday and forever :D

friday: most self-indulgent fic you have ever posted?

lmao, do i write anything besides self indulgence?? i always write to please myself first and foremost. if you had asked me a few months ago though, i would definitely have said wisdom like a sister. like. it’s of an all for the game oc that just so happens to be the protagonist’s sister. like, how does it get more self-indulgent than that which i also said in the prologue?

i have to say that the steady throne of restless hope takes the prize though. like, zephyr had maybe about 2 minutes of screentime and not a single line of dialogue, and all we basically know of her is that 1) she exist, 2) what she looks like, and 3) that she was scared of toothless the first time she saw him which is like, understandable. apart from that we know from the concept art book that she and nuffink “have their parents personalities, if a little mixed up”, which is most commonly interpreted as zephyr taking after hiccup. and i just took that, went “so what you’re saying is that she’s gay and have an anxiety disorder, okieeeeee”, and then ran several miles with it. or 26.000 words, to be more exact 30.000 if we count with love comes a great waterfall. 

saturday: what gets you excited whilst writing?

i’m a plotting-person. like, i’m never as excited about a story as when i’m first plotting it out; connecting plot-points, making a story skeleton and writing the first extremely rough draft. everything after that, like, actually writing the damn thing, is just a hassle for me. i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again; i’m not actually a writer, i’m a storyteller.

that being said, writing wlas has given me the extreme privilege of getting to write for an active and engaged audience, and like that gets me excited. there’s nothing quite like the dopamine rush of when you’re dredging through a new chapter and you get to a point and you just know that oh, they’re going to love this or oh, they’re going to hate this. that’s addicting, my dudes.

april: have you ever written and/or posted a crackfic?

not really, no. i tend to be able to play even the most ridiculous premises straight.

may: a fic you have regretted posting?

can i say there’s a world outside, just because of the probability of me finishing that gets slimmer and slimmer with each passing year?? no, on here we live a life with no regrets.

august: are any of your fics associated with certain genres/artists/songs/etc? 

i have a tendency, for natural reasons, to name fics in my time really moves fast series after beyoncé songs. say “hey mr. bittle” is still my most popular fic of all time.

september: share a comment or review which still warms your heart?

i have gotten so many heartwarming comments over the years, but this is a comment that legitimately made me tear up the first time i read it, and which i return to every time i question if what i’m doing is even worth anything or just a complete waste of time;

from tu as tué la peur.

now, as a 22 year old i was 21 back then mess of an individual with neither partner nor kids, i was quite nervous publishing this, seeing how i’d only referenced my own struggles with mental health issues. so it was so rewarding that i’d managed to craft something that spoke to others and the way they, you know, tackles the mess that is living with mental illness. so i’ll probably always cherish this comment.

a bonus, because this is still my absolute favorite comment of all time, taken from your heart will grow;

december: have you ever gifted a fic to someone?

i wrote a small baby girl’s cries for @somebodyhelpthenotdeadfreds!!

minutes: how long does it normally take you to complete a fic?

lmao, that depends on a lot of different variables. how long it ends up being, how clear of an idea i have of what i want to be doing, how much the story wants to collaborate with me. like, if we’re talking standard timing though, it’s not unusual for me to crank out a fic or chapter landing somewhere between 1000-4000 words in an undisturbed afternoon, excluding editing time.

yesterday: favourite way to write angst?

i’m not big on angst, like we’re pretty firmly rooted in fluff-town here on creating chaos. so anytime i even so much as “dabble” in angst it’s often in the form of hurt/comfort or any other type of way that always end on a somewhat positive note. i really did enjoy writing children in my name though, and i’m kind of really looking forward to write better to dwell in the corner a little teaser for all you wlas fans out there, so like with everything else in my life, i can do nothing in moderation. it’s either not-really-angst-at-all or drowning myself completely in the anguish pool.

forever: do you balance fic writing with original concept stuff?

i do!! i’ve actually just taken a hiatus from writing wlas to focus on some of my other projects. which is mostly, let’s be real, another one of my check, please! fics, but i’m also deeply plotting one of my fantasy novels right now! naya is going to have emotional trauma connected to towers!! it’s going to be fun!

ask me fanfic asks!!

[vsoocannounce]

OOC SURVEY/ADMIN EVAL #1.

We do a lot of things well. Everyone is so friendly with each other, we talk about a lot together, and overall I think everyone is pretty talkative with each other in the OOC. I think it’s a lovely place to be, the majority of the roleplay agreeing! I want to thank you guys for your lovely comments on my adminning that nearly made me cry ( happy tears ). Reading the results, almost everyone agreed the environment was friendly, welcoming and something that surprised me – fast paced. For me, this came as a surprise – but I realized, though the dash is not always fast paced – the OOC Discord is. So, I think activity here is very much partly dependent on the OOC communication, if you’re around, participating, talking character headcanons etc. I definitely see why it’s fast paced, so, I’m going to maybe try to stretch out timestamps more, maybe even lengthen our activity limit, etc. I know it can be overwhelming when you’re not around to jump into the RP, so I will definitely try to be better with the summaries channel, but please know you can take your time and there’s no rush. 

A few things that I’ll note that I’m not going to change, there was a very small minority that didn’t like the different channels, felt they didn’t help the OOC, and since a large majority didn’t agree ( as well as myself ), that isn’t going to change. If you’re extremely concerned, please come to me directly and we can definitely discuss it! The people who people had problems with have either left, been kicked out, or talked to. But overall, there weren’t really any which was really good to see.

Overall, I think that we all are trying, we’re all here, I think there’s something really solid here as well. Over 85 percent of you guys felt that based on the OOC environment this RP would be long lasting, which is so fucking amazing! Like wow! I’m still shook.

But just like Our Lord and Savior Shuri has said ‘"Just because something works, doesn’t mean it can’t be improved.“

The overall theme of the things we need to work on is communication. from what I see as well as have been told, there’s a lack of it between everyone. Though we all talk with each other, there’s a lack of communication between where we all stand, what’s going on, and plotting . I want to preface this by saying, the reason I’m so strict about these certain things ( and my rules ) is because I’m very lenient regarding other things. In order for the roleplay to be successful OOC, the rules in place need to be followed, so that leniency is something I’ll be able to grant. There’s a certain idea and sense of community in this RP I’m trying to foster, communication being an important factor in this. There are people who feel ignored, people who feel the RP is hard to break into, and over half of the RP feels the RP is cliquey. Even though most they also think the clique(s) are welcoming, some feel they are hard to break into. I don’t think ANY of this is on purpose, but I can’t ignore what I’ve read & how other members are feeling. I’ll explain more below, but no matter what, it’s not acceptable & something we’re going to work on.

One thing I have noticed is the way each intro seems to have a different number of notes, which was something that I noticed early on ( I didn’t think it posed an issue then because it wasn’t that major ) which then drastically change., This denotes to me that they’re not being read or at the very least, liked, as a way to be welcoming and archive it for later. I could be wrong in this assumption, but as it’s a rule in the rules, from now on if I don’t see everyone liking intros within a week or so, I will send out messages individually. I know it seems extreme but no one in this roleplay’s intros should have less than ten notes at least & that’s being generous. There’s over 20 people in the roleplay. The numbers are off there. There is nothing that makes me feel worse than coming into an RP, posting my intro, and seeing multiple people on / around in the chat but none of them liking my intro.  A quarter of the RP have not been approached by at least three people to plot  and with all of this, these two things combined I’m most disappointed about. Because no matter what, there’s absolutely no excuse for these rules to be broken.  I’m going to be pairing everyone up for threads that they must communicate the status of within a week. Whether the starter is up and you haven’t replied, your partner hasn’t replied to your IM, you couldn’t get a starter up you’re still plotting, etc. I need you guys to communicate with me and each other.

Like each others intros. Reach out to each other to plot. Seriously.

The tags are there so you can go through them, check out everyone’s info, creations, self paras, moodboards, etc. – support each other with it. I’ll try to be more proactive myself in not only reblogging each edit on the main, but putting it into our Edits & Pinterest channel. To ease some people’s minds I’m going to make a player updates channel where everyone can put whether or not they’re on hiatus, what’s going on with them, the status of their activity & PM answering, etc. so we all know where we are with things. I think a good chunk of the miscommunication in this area can be solved with a channel like this. This is a group RP, so please try to interact with the whole group & learn about their characters because it’s only right. This is something I stress in the rules as well because no one likes to feel like them or their characters aren’t important in an RP – something a few people have been feeling.

When you talk about a headcanon that might pertain to another person’s character, @ them in discord! Another thing someone mentioned was the lack of follow up via messaging. While I completely understand not being able to have the concentration to reply to PMs as opposed to a group chat, this person was extremely discouraged by the fact that they’re plotting messages didn’t really go far, their messages unanswered after over a week, while seeing people plot with each other in the main chat & talk about plotting with each other via PMs. Something I’ve also seen, something I’ve also done, which I apologize for! This isn’t acceptable to me. We do all have lives, yes, but just make sure to communicate what is going on. A simple ‘I’m busy, slow, and having issues with reaching out at the moment to plot so I’ll answer this as soon as I can’ can really go a long way. I think these thread pairings with the player updates channel would be a good start in turning that around.

Another thing I’ve noticed is that there’s a lot of talk of things that are from other roleplays, other experiences, that are shared between groups of people that are often talked about in the general chat. What I mean is: I see a lot of talks of other roleplay experiences, characters not in the roleplay, that while I know you don’t mean to exclude, I don’t believe anyone in this roleplay would, it can be intimidating and come off as very clique-ish. In fact, this is where I think the perception of people thinking half of the people in this group are cliquey are from.

This was one thing that reflected in the survey that seemed to be spilt down the middle – half of the roleplay felt that the group wasn’t cliquey while the other half felt it was as well as either: hard to break into it ( minority of this half ), or it was but still friendly ( majority of this half ). While I know everyone is willing to explain these past experiences that are shared together to anyone who ask, it’s intimidating to come into a group with people who know each other who then talk about private things. I’ve indulged in this too ( I’m sorry about that! ), so I’m partially to blame for allowing this, but please watch talking about things not related specifically to this roleplay as it can make it seem as if you’re clique-ish. It’s intimidating and makes other people not want to approach and especially discouraging when a few people mentioned they felt their characters aren’t important or that their thoughts weren’t cared about. So, unless you’re willing to explain enough of what you’re talking about to other people so that they get it, then don’t talk about it as it makes people feel excluded. Inside jokes between people who know each other are going to happen, but try to remember that there are other people who might feel excluded due to you talking about those experiences in a group setting/chat. If you were in there position, watching a bunch of people talk about their character connections from other RPs, it might feel excluding as well.

To some of the people who do/might feel excluded, one thing I’ve noticed is the lack of just jumping into conversations – which is understandable. But I highly encourage you to try, engage with other people in the chat when you can, ask questions, offer things to talk about. Ask about their characters. Read up a bit in the chat if you can to see what is being said & talked about before jumping in, respond to others, engage with them the way you want to be engaged. The people who are talking with each other in the chat have put in effort & time to talk with each other, plot, they didn’t always know each other if they did, but they had to put themselves out there first & foremost. I know I have both anxiety and social anxiety so it can be hard, but we are in a group roleplay where communication is key within the group – so I do think an updates channel will be helpful so you don’t have to constantly remind or let people know but there needs to be an effort from your end as well. So, if you see a conversation, jump in!

Those are the points that I’d touch on most, and really, I know that all of this was not of any malicious intent or trying to be excluding at all, but it’s how some people have felt and some of the things I’ve noticed that I think we can really all improve on.

Thanks for coming to my TedTalk and please like this when you’re done reading it! Any feedback on this survey I would appreciate off anon via DM/PM or in the group-ideas channel! Thank you!

[childrenofthedas-a]

THE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all had witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat. Long post!

MUN NAME: JINN     AGE: 21       CONTACT: IM, Discord

CHARACTER(S): Mahariel, Tabris (HoF), Lavellan, Trevelyan (Inquisitors), 4 OCs.

CURRENT FANDOM(S): Dragon Age

FANDOM(S) YOU HAVE AN AU FOR:  I don’t have any yet for the moment!

MY LANGUAGE(S): Italian (native), English (proficiency), French (Intermediate)

THEMES I’M INTERESTED IN FOR RP: FANTASY / SCIENCE FICTION / HORROR / WESTERN / ROMANCE / THRILLER / MYSTERY / DYSTOPIA / ADVENTURE / MODERN / EROTIC / CRIME / MYTHOLOGY / CLASSIC / HISTORY / RENAISSANCE / MEDIEVAL / ANCIENT / WAR / FAMILY / POLITICS / RELIGION / SCHOOL / ADULTHOOD / CHILDHOOD / APOCALYPTIC / GODS / SPORT / MUSIC / SCIENCE / FIGHTS / ANGST / SMUT / DRAMA / ETC.

PREFERRED THREAD LENGTH: 2 PARA / NOVELLA

ASKS CAN BE SEND BY: MUTUALS / ANONS

CAN ASKS BE CONTINUED?: YES / NO / OCCASIONALLY   - only by Mutuals?:  YES / NO

PREFERRED THREAD TYPE: CRACK / CASUAL / SERIOUS / DEEP AS HECK. / ALL

IS REALISM / RESEARCH IMPORTANT FOR YOU IN CERTAIN THEMES?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS

ARE YOU ATM OPEN FOR NEW PLOTS?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS. (college)

DO YOU HANDLE YOUR DRAFT / ASK - COUNT WELL?:  YES / NO / SOMEWHAT. (irl makes coping difficult sometimes)

HOW LONG DO YOU USUALLY TAKE TO REPLY?: 24H / 1 WEEK / 2 WEEKS / 3+ WEEKS / MONTHS / YEARS.

I’M OKAY INTERACTING WITH:       ORIGINAL CHARACTERS / A RELATIVE OF MY CHARACTER (AN OC) / DUPLICATES / CROSSOVERS / MULTI-MUSES / SELF-INSERTS / PEOPLE WITH NO AU VERSE FOR MY FANDOM / CANON-DIVERGENT PORTRAYALS / AU-VERSIONS(ish)

DO YOU POST MORE IC OR OOC?: IC / OOC / BOTH IN A BALANCE

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WITH FOLLOWING OTHERS?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.  

BEST WAYS TO APPROACH YOU FOR RP/PLOTTING:  Honestly? Come up to me and talk! I swear I’m friendly and don’t bite. I’m not particularly shy so I am the one writing first at times.

WHAT EXPECTATIONS DO YOU HOLD TOWARDS YOUR PLOTTING PARTNER: Just honesty and mutual respect. I like to throw ideas and memes at plotting partners, and I will acknowledge if someone isn’t into a particular idea. I like having the same :)

WHEN YOU NOTICE THE PLOTTING IS RATHER ONE-SIDED, WHAT DO YOU DO?:  Usually I write to the partner for new ideas, maybe to spice up the thread a bit. 

HOW DO YOU USUALLY PLOT WITH OTHERS, DO YOU GIVE INPUT OR LEAVE MOST WORK TOWARDS YOUR PARTNER?:  I often throw as many ideas into the story as I can, I don’t mind if some of the ideas that land are mostly mine but I like the concept of two people throwing ideas around, given that there’s the same interest in the plot!

WHEN A PARTNER DROPS THE THREAD, DO YOU WISH TO KNOW?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. - AND WHY?: I don’t mind if people drop one liners. They’re supposed to be casual and entertaining to a point. Ih the thread in question is a plotted one, I don’t mind if the other wishes to drop it — just let me know!

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY LEAD YOU TO DROP A THREAD?:  I usually never drop threads intentionally, it’s mostly due to... the drafts nightmare that this website has. However, I may drop casual threads. Rarely plotted ones, and in that case it might be because of lack of time.

WILL YOU TELL YOUR PARTNER?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS.

IS COMMUNICATION IN THE RPC IMPORTANT TO YOU?      YES / NO. - AND WHY?: It’s nice to get to know the person you’re plotting with. Sometimes I forget to reply to messages, but I enjoy talking with other people on Discord, even if it can be brief. Communication at any level keeps a point of understanding for the plot as well.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH ABSOLUTE HONESTY, EVEN IF IT MAY MEANS HEARING SOMETHING NEGATIVE ABOUT YOU AND/OR PORTRAYAL?: Naturally, as long as it’s constructive. It doesn’t mean that I’m going to accept every critique I will eventually get, since writing is what I do for my job. Given that this site is a guilty pleasure and only that, I use trophies / cliches / repetition in some characters / backgrounds, because it’s fun. So there’s not a high level of seriousness on my part here, honestly.

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE SUCH SITUATION IN A MATURE WAY? YES / NO.

WHY DO YOU RP AGAIN, IS THERE A GOAL?: I love stories, I love writing. It’s something to keep me in training with english and writing in general. Keeps my mind active.

WISHLIST, BE IT PLOTS OR SCENARIOS:  I will eventually make a wishlist post for each and everyone of my characters. Though the ones that would be more interesting, for the moment, would be an arc for Milot in which he grows a bit from the idiot bigot child he is while getting some recognition for his abilities an arc for Feirun who has trust issues and would simply like to feel like she belongs somewhere, thus indulging in friendships — and an arc for Dianor regarding the Calling, to see where it could lead, whether to the finding of a cure or to his death.

THEMES I WON’T EVER RP / EXPLORE:   There aren’t specific themes I will never explore, but some themes, however, like suicide, I’d be willing to explore if done with taste and regard to others and with a person who would be willing to explore it with me. I’m about realism, and given that some themes are a bit heavy for me as well I always do it in a manner that does not diminish neither the theme nor the person involved with it.

WHAT TYPE OF STARTERS DO YOU PREFER / DISLIKE, CAN’T WORK WITH?: I can usually work with anything, but one liners that feel empty in attempt are usually really frustrating. 

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE MOST?:  Going for the cliches: innocent young ones, honor-bound ones and villains. I don’t have much of a preference but these tend to be more fun for me.

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE LEAST?:  Self-inserts that claim to be self-inserts and that end up being straight up mary sues. I like self-inserts when portrayed naturally and truthfully, even if it’s the type of character that doesn’t catch my eye at first.

WHAT ARE YOUR STRONG ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: I’m very laid back and I’m patient. Given that I actually spent a lot of my time on this site and know the kinds of people wandering these halls, I know who to avoid in case of senseless drama and how to handle it if directed at me or at my rp partners. I would also like to add feel lucky to have met people who are the same on this site.

WHAT ARE YOUR WEAK ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: It can often be consistency. I can be really pumped up for a plot, then be extremely slow in replying to threads. Right now it’s mostly due to the fact that all of these muses are new and I have to think about what they’d say and do. An initial idea shared with a rp partner, too, might fall apart the moment I realise that it couldn’t work with my muse for the same reason.

DO YOU RP SMUT?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS on the character I’m writing. It has to make sense for the muse; if my current muses are, for example, Dianor, Vincent or Lottie, they have a higher chance of being open to smut. Others need an emotional connection or very specific requirements. I’m not against it entirely, though I’m terrible at writing it.

DO YOU PREFER TO GO INTO DETAIL?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH BLACK CURTAIN, FADE TO BLACK?: YES / NO.

WHEN DO YOU RP SMUT? MORE OUT OF FUN OR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT?: Again, depends on the muse.

ANYTHING YOU WOULD NOT WANT TO RP THERE?:  As said above, I’m open for most “unpopular” themes, if treated with regard and taste. Big nopes are themes like animal abuse or child abuse.

ARE SHIPS IMPORTANT TO YOU?:   YES / NO.   Ships can be of any kind — platonic, romantic, familiar and so on. Human connection is important in stories, and to find some is always a good thing for me.

WOULD YOU SAY YOUR BLOG IS SHIP-FOCUSED?: YES / NO. I do have some ships going on but I’d still run my blog if there weren’t many. I like exploring different kinds of relationships, not just the positive ones.

DO YOU USE READ MORE?:  YES / NO / SOMETIMES WHEN I WRITE LONG STUFF.

ARE YOU:  MULTI-SHIP / SINGLE-SHIP / DUAL-SHIP  —  MULTIVERSE / SINGLEVERSE.

WHAT DO YOU LOVE TO EXPLORE THE MOST IN YOUR SHIPS?: I enjoy it when particular romantic ships lead to internal conflicts within my muses. For example, Feirun has 0 interpersonal skills and has never been with anyone before, therefore seeing her accepting the fact that she has feelings for someone, and growing a sense of worth that leads her to go for it, is fantastic. For Octavia, too, despite her lack of interest in sex, she can still be romantically interested in people, which happens rarely due to her difficult character; when it does happen, she tends to become a bit softer, and that’s my jam.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- WHAT COULD POSSIBLY MAKE YOUR MUSE INTERESTING TOWARDS OTHERS, WHY SHOULD THEY RP WITH THIS PARTICULAR CHARACTER OF YOURS NOW, WHAT POSSIBLE PLOTS DO THEY OFFER?: Dianor is the worst warden on the website, probably, reckless and a troublemaker; he can lead to plots with adventures, theft and unexpected camaraderie. Tristan is an Inquisitor who only wishes to be strong enough to protect everyone, he can be all about love and support to other muses or create interesting conflicts. Feirun is a feral squirrel, honestly, but due to her background she can lead to interesting plots tied with Tevinter or the Qun. Milot is a young soldier who wishes to prove himself, he is often in need of guidance but he himself can teach a thing or two about being comfortable with one’s self. Vincent is a particular kind of abomination, thus it could be interesting to have him interact with other mages / templars / really, anyone who has a problem with demons. Lottie is an orlesian spy and a functional psychopath, it can lead to many interesting plots with a large variety of characters. Octavia could be one of the most interesting ones given her background, since the actions of whoever surrounds her in the Inquisition could lead her to find actual morals and discover emotional intelligence rather than having her stay the same person she was before.

WITH WHAT TYPE OF MUSES DO YOU USUALLY STRUGGLE TO RP WITH?:  Characters who see everything in black and white.

WHAT DO THEY DESIRE, WHAT IS THEIR GOAL?:  Dianor just wants to find a cure for the calling and live freely. Tristan thinks he wants to save everyone, but he really needs people who help him overcome his own issues. Feirun wants somewhere to belong, people to be close with, having been alone for most of her life. Milot wants to become a knight and be treated like the other soldiers, without the special treatment he often gets due to his age. Lottie just wants money, I think. Vincent wants to either find a way to get the demon out of his body or die. Octavia would like to take revenge on her father and go back to Tevinter, but she might need some emotional guidance at first.

WHAT CATCHES THEIR INTEREST FIRST WHEN MEETING SOMEONE NEW?:  Dianor gets along with other rogues. Tristan is like a dog, happy to see anyone. Feirun has a particular interest for the Qunari. Milot greatly regards knights and people in power who show honor and integrity. Octavia likes people who do their job and are unapologetic about it. Lottie enjoys meeting any kind of character that she could get something out of. Vincent is often very happy to see other mages and men, honestly.

WHAT THEMES DO THEY LIKE TALKING ABOUT?:  Dianor likes to tell stories of any kind. Tristan enjoys talking about plans for the Inquisition. Feirun likes to talk about lore, archeological finds, books and magic. Milot... likes to talk about battles, I guess. Lottie enjoys discussing Orlais fashion. Octavia loves discussing magic, blood magic specifically. Vincent likes to discuss art.

DID THEY EVER WENT THROUGH SOMETHING TRAUMATIC?:  Dianor lost his best friend Tamlen and had to save Thedas, now the Calling is killing him from the inside. Tristan couldn’t save a clan of dalish elves being attacked by a Teyrn. Feirun was abandoned by the dalish when she was 8 and was beaten and hunted by Templars for a while. Octavia discovered she was an half-elf and fruit of scandal and went on the run for it. Vincent was friends with a spirit who turned into a demon while saving his life from templars. Milot saw his farm, his home being destroyed by battles between mages, templars and demons. Lottie... once wore bad shoes?

WHAT COULD LEAD TO AN INSTANT KILL?:  Darkspawn for everyone. Mages for Milot. Templars for Feirun and Vincent.

IS THERE SOMEONE /-THING THEY HATE?:  Darkspawn. Mages in general for Milot, he’s really afraid of them and would not hesitate to bring them down in battle. Feirun and Vincent detest the Templars due to the abuse they’ve faced because of them.

ARE YOUR MUSES EASY TO APPROACH?:  Dianor, Tristan and Vincent are the easiest ones to approach. The others can be... difficult to handle at first.

SOMETHING YOU MAY STILL WANT TO POINT OUT ABOUT YOUR MUSES?: I apologise for some of them being sluts or bigots. I love them all the same.

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

tagged by:   indecently stolen! tagging: anyone who actually read this i guess!

[feliciaharder-blog1]

New Blog, New Year?

Greetings Earthlings!

👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽

First and foremost, THANK YOU for checking out my blog. It does mean a lot to me that you took the time to peek into the portal of my life here. The site is still fairly new, and I am experimenting with what type of content I want to present here. (AKA which personality of mine am I going to introduce). A lot of people have this ideal image of me, someone who comes across as a sweet, soft-spoken, baby-faced blessed angel that was sent from the heavens above. Which is all ENTIRELY true. However, like everyone else, there are layers to me that I do not tend to showcase to the general population. Again, I’m a little lost with how to start a blog so I guess I am going to just type this vomit introduction....

I guess let’s start with WHY I want to do this.  

PART I: WHY

The biggest risk is not taking any risk. -Mark Zuckerberg

Today, we live in a world that is all about social media, and it is a facet of both our personal and professional lives. To achieve my goals, it seems imperative for me to develop a strong social media network.

As the old saying goes “it’s all about who you know” and it is very important to know how to network in the film industry (or for any career for that matter). Today, we have such a useful tool for being hyper-connected with our fans. It is such an effective way of connecting with people all over the world, and it is easier to stay in touch and maintain the relationship you have with them. 

I would like to use this blog to market myself, showcase my work and use it as a platform to share my friend’s projects.

PART II: WHO IS FELICIA?

I yam what I yam, an dat’s all I yam, I’m Popeye the Sailor Man - Popeye the Sailor Man

(Haha, now the awkward part of trying to figure out how to modestly speak about myself……)

I would like to think that I am cool, comical, semi-collective yet a curious little cat. I am a dreamer with a caring heart. Currently, I am attending film school at Academy of Art University. One of the positive things about being young is that I have freedom for self-discovery. At this moment, I am starting off with a blank canvas as I begin my future endeavors in the film industry.  My mind and creativity require copious time for research, to be curious and to narrow down my aspirations. Finding my passion leads to motivation, which leads to dedication and success. 

When I was younger, I knew I wanted to pursue a career in the film industry, for I grew up in a world of timeless films such as Jurassic Park, Forrest Gump, Pulp Fiction, Clueless, Toy Story,  Austin Powers, Fight Club, and so much more. I was the child who checked out the soundtrack cassette tape to Lion King and later performed a whole play with my sister, stuffed animals and used the recliner chair in replacement for Pride Rock. I knew the passion thrived inside of me, I just needed to learn how to channel it and turn it into my ultimate reality.

PART III: THE FUTURE

I begin with an idea and then it becomes something else. -Pablo Picasso

As I continue my education, I cannot be retained of the idea of fear. Through experience, I know I will develop my own set of unique skills and someday will accomplish all of my goals. I must write as much as can. Write. Write. Write! The more prepared I am, and the more knowledge I obtain the stronger I will be when fulfilling my endeavors. I must learn to be collected when things go haywire and recognize people’s boundaries and be willing to speak up and note when things are not okay. 

My goal is to write the stories I want to share. I need to continue my curiosity of the world around me.  I want to be happy, strong, wealthy, trustworthy, respected, and unique. I yearn for the days where I wake up to a career that I have fallen in love with and go to bed with total utter depletion (with a smile on my face). I want to give myself totally to my work —mentally, psychologically, physically and have an ecstatic sense of having committed myself to my absolute limit.

In order for me to fulfill my goals, I must have an open-mind and indulge in my interests. I need to develop a personal identity and build my production with a brand signature. I must use my energy wisely and continue to learn and ask questions. I cannot be afraid to explore and take “the one less [road] traveled by [because it may make] all the difference” -Robert Frost

Nonetheless, a career in the film industry is my ultimate objective. I have an ambitious appetite for success and to achieve all my aspirations.

PART IV: THANK YOU.

To the world you may be one person; but to one person you made be the world -Dr. Suess

DAD: Thank you for always being my #1 fan, teaching me how to love myself and push for the things I want in life. I think I will be posting a blog dedicated to you later….there are too many things that I can say about our relationship….

JANETTE: Thank you for being a blessing in my life. I treasure the relationship I have with you. You are the person I seek for advice confidently knowing you will always have an answer. I have always looked up to you as a role model. You have taught me so much about what it means to be a woman.

MOM: Thank you for being a not-so stereotypical mother, in a funny way, you have taught me a lot. I would say the most important thing you have taught me is to not care what people think about you because at the end of the day you will always have your loved ones.  Thank you for having a wild side.

MEGHAN: I have come to terms that you are my partner in life. We may have our quarrels, but you never have made me question your love and support. Thank you for being part of my life even though you were forced to be my sister. As the Kardashians would say, “We are sisters by blood, but best friends by choice.” …..yep I just quoted the Kardashians…..

ELLEN: Can you believe we have been best friends for over a decade!? Our childhood friendship is the most mischievous beautiful memory. Thank you for always having fun with me and being there for the MANY stages of my life. Cheers to the many more to come!

JULIETTE: My awesome writing partner/ best friend. Thank you for being so committed to our dream. I am so lucky to have a friendship that meshes into both my personal and professional world. You make me feel strong, confident and driven! I am so excited for the many projects we have been working on! Ugh!! It has been quite the journey!

THALIA: To be honest, I don’t know what happened that made us become great friends. You and I are both strong powerhouses that are destined to kick-ass in the world. I love having you as a sassy best friend. Together, we embrace our inseparable weirdness. We are like two opposing poles of a magnet. Love you.

STEPHANIE H-T: Our friendship has reminded me to not judge other people. Our first interaction was more of us repealing each other and avoiding any real interaction (which is weird because we are awesome together). It wasn’t until a year later, we became friends, and I cherish our friendship very much. In many ways, you remind me of myself, but you are way cooler than I am. Also, Thank you for being Selena’s second mom. I am #soblessed to be your Maid of Honor! 

STEPHANIE M: You truly are a blessed angel sent from above. I have NEVER met someone who is so sweet, caring, and thoughtful. You can make the devil seem like a good person. You truly do have a gift. Every time I am blessed with your presence I seriously feel like all of my sins have been forgiven. You help me reevaluate my life and assure me to never give up! Thank you for being you.

MICHELLE: My goofy Michelle. Yes, you made it to the list (for now)…. Damn girl, I care about you so much. I love how open and honest you are about EVERYTHING! You are another friendship I cherish. You have taught me to not worry about what other people think….even though I sometimes get embarrassed by certain things you say. “We is closing”. Thank you for being my goofball.

TYLER: Thank you for being my rock in life and letting me take up most of the bed. We don’t have the perfect relationship, but I love our imperfections. That’s what makes us --well us. We are a little weird and do things differently, but I am not asking for the perfect fairy tale love story. I want to be with someone who accepts my flaws, challenges me, and supports my dreams. Thank you for being brave, loyal and understanding. I chose you and I will choose you all over again. I am so lucky to have a love story like ours. <3

PART V: GOALS/ 2017

You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it -Robin Williams

Short Term Goals:

Submit my screenplays into a contest

Adopt a Mentor

Produce more short films.

Finish writing feature films.

Finish writing my book with Juliette.

Keep developing new ideas

Create website/blog

Attend events that filmmakers, writers, and casting directors attend.

Engage with industry professionals online.

Add value to people’s lives.

Spend more time outside.

Be consistent.

Long Term Goals:

Start my own Production Company

Write, Produce, Direct my feature films

Win an Academy Award

Become a Showrunner

Win an Emmy Award

Become a Mentor

Add value to people’s lives

Keep developing new ideas

So, that sums up my first official post. I hope some of your are actually excited to see what I have to bring to the table. Like it or not, leave a comment and let me know your thoughts and what kind of content I should post.

Love,

Felicia

PS. I will be posting another blog about my trip to Bali! :)

[mysteriouslyzealouspandalov-blog]

The Respectful Relationships Program Could Start by Respecting Parents.

New Post has been published on https://relationshipguideto.com/trending/the-respectful-relationships-program-could-start-by-respecting-parents/

The Respectful Relationships Program Could Start by Respecting Parents.

It would seem that the only relationship that isn’t respected by those rolling out the Trojan horse program Respectful Relationships into our schools, is the relationship between parents and their own children.

Once Christmas ends, the first billboards from Officeworks are up, reminding parents that it’s back to school in only four weeks time!  Four weeks?  Seems like four months!

And parents are responsible for everything when the lists come out.  Uniforms, shoes, books, iPads.  Helping their older children determine what courses they should do.  Parents need to be informed about everything if they’re going to help their children.

Everything except when it comes to sex in the classroom, or the teaching of it, it would appear.

For the State Government of Western Australia, led by Premier Mark McGowan, has given the green light for nineteen schools to utilise various aspects of the Respectful Relationships program, all without any parental consultation.

It’s the same program that the far more (self-declared) progressive Victorian Andrews Government has been promoting in that state’s schools already.  And more schools are to follow in Western Australia in semester two of 2019.

Yet all of this has begun without the involvement of the most crucial relationship in the mix, in terms of schooling, the one between parents and children.

McGowan is staying mum (can I even say that?) on which schools, and which aspects of the program are being rolled out.  Which seems curious when there have been such controversies around the blatantly sexualised nature of the content being delivered through such programs, all in the name of respect, I might add (whatever that term means these days).

You would think the Premier, who, I’m led to believe, does not send his own children to a government school, much less one where this program is going to be taught, would seek to include all stakeholders when it comes to material that has such a blatant sexual and gender ideologies inbuilt, if not simply to allay any fears.

After all, such lack of foresight has blown up in the faces of other state governments in the past couple of years, with dubious links to dodgy sites being discovered, and a clear hard Sexular Culture agenda attached to seemingly innocent material being shown up for what it is.

But the quieter the government is about it, the more questions, and concerns it will raise.  So how about it Premier McGowan?  How about some conversations with all stakeholders when it comes to education?.

The stated aim of the Respectful Relationships program is lofty of course.  The stated aims of such programs always are.  It’s about breaking the pattern of domestic violence, and who could be against that after all?

Yet what does the Respectful Relationships program focus on? Here’s how local media in Perth reported the move to challenge “gender inequality”:

A business case for the program states that violence against women was partly driven by “beliefs and behaviours that reflect disrespect for women, low support for gender equality and adherence to rigid or stereotypical gender roles”.

The Education Department memo on the program stated:

“By challenging these drivers, we can break the cycle of violence,”

“Partly” is an interesting word isn’t it?  Does “partly” mean 10 percent of violence towards women is attributable to stereotypical gender roles?  15 percent?  80 percent?  And what are the other drivers? What percentage do they make up? We shall never know.  When you’ve got an agenda, actual stats are not always that helpful.

And it’s completely ideological agenda purporting, much in the way the discredited Safe Schools program did, to be about safety first and foremost.  And in this culture of all things safe, and bulldozer parenting, what’s not to like about safe?

Unfortunately domestic violence comes in all shapes and sizes and affects all sorts of families. My wife, with twenty years clinical psychological experience, has seen more than her fair share of cases.  It’s traumatic, tragic and crosses all social boundaries.

And all sexual boundaries. For the sneaky, unreported, and underreported, truth, though reported to me by a former gay activist is that domestic violence among male gay partners is off the charts.  In fact statistically, the percentage of domestic violence among gay couples is higher in heterosexual relationships, as this 2014 BBC report reveals.

Nothing particularly stereotypical about that.

Now it’s got to be said that the government has not yet decided which parts of the program are going to be utilised.  Indeed the details are buried within a state government report.  But the Year 3 material includes the following:

Provide a range of dress ups and toys to allow children to explore different roles and ethnic dress; put up pictures of women and men taking on different household tasks and gender roles in a range of ethnic groups. Read books that open up the possibilities about what girls and boys can be or do.

You can read the full report by Joshua Zimmerman here.

Let’s get it straight. A man doesn’t beat a woman – the women he lives with – because he is the primary bread winner in a traditional family who likes manly pursuits, wears checked shirts and jeans and boots, and doesn’t do enough work around the house, but will, after enough whinging, at least put the bins out on Wednesday night.

A man beats a woman because he’s a bully who likes power and desires to dominate someone, and he gets some sort of emotional release from his own fractured psyche through using his unrestrained anger to crush a readily available person within arm – and fist’s – reach.

And quite frankly it’s an insult to the thousands of working dads (and mums) who, in Perth, do live traditional roles in their marriages, yet who never lift a finger to their spouses, gay, straight or other.

And on the flipside.  My wife went to work today, to a meaningful, fairly well paid job that has a high level of job satisfaction.

And me? I cooked the breakfast (it was a cooked breakfast), vacuumed the house, put out the rubbish, did the washing, went and did some of the grocery shopping. Oh and all with enough time left over to slap her around the face before waving her goodbye as she drove off.

Of course I did all of the above, except for that last part.

But here’s the point: In an irony of cruel ironies, there are many celebrated cases coming to the surface of domestic violence and sexual abuse among the most “woke” of our day who champion the breaking of those so called stereotypes, both within the church and without.

I could provide a long list, but let’s start with the Bill Hybels case from Willow Creek – a church at the forefront of breaking down gender barriers -, yet sexual control was at its epicentre.

And then there’s the even more dismal case, of New York’s Attorney General, Eric Schneiderman, who proved, despite being a long term voice against sexual misconduct, not to be your friendly neighbourhood Schneiderman at all.

Schneiderman, a vocal opponent against Harvey Weinstein, was outed himself as an abusive sexual bully who pre-determined that his string of girlfriends liked to be punched and slapped, without him being polite enough to ask their permission to bruise their faces prior to indulging himself.

Which is not to say violence against women is not happening in traditional settings, for it surely is.  But it is to say that is is completely simplistic, and insulting, to equate domestic violence with traditional gender roles.

Perhaps the WA Government, indeed perhaps the Premier himself, would like to address this matter across the more traditional migrant communities – and religious communities – in Perth and admit it is far more complex than the material purports.

But let me go on. The Year 9 material includes the following:

Write a range of the following words on the whiteboard: Massage; Cuddling; Kissing; Sexting; Holding hands; Vaginal intercourse; Oral sex; Masturbation; Touching genitals; Rubbing nipples; Anal sex; Pornography. Have students form small groups and categorise each into either “sex” or “not sex”.

“Excuse me miss, will this be in the exam?”

For a start, this completely misreads how conversations around these topics operate in a less than safe setting such as a school.  For whoever determined that schools were safe? Such material completely negates the reality of the classroom, in which many students do not trust those within their own peer group with that sort of conversation, never mind their teachers.

So the young, late developing fifteen year old boy, who is shy and reserved, has to determine with the class jock, who already boasts about the blow jobs he’s had from girls in the school, whether or not oral sex is actually sex?  Where’s the safety or respect in any of that?

And then it goes on:

Discuss with students the different types of sexual relationships, such as “going out together”, “hooking up”, “bootie call”, “friends with benefits” and “one night stand”. Have students write down an estimate of what percentage of their peer group they think have experienced some form of sex.

That’s a seriously impressive list of sexual relationships right there, although it admittedly does miss out on that rather minor sexual relationship that’s been doing the rounds in our culture for some time; marriage.

But I guess if you’re the stats girl in the class you might enjoy compiling that information as a percentage list, if you can brush off the catcalls from the class tool to put actual names beside each of them.

All this is to say two things: On what planet are teachers, who are not trained sex counsellors or psychologists, any better placed to led these conversations than parents?  Not saying those are easy conversations to have as parents, but at which point do teachers assume the role of primary sexual overseer of students?

There’s something “woke” about our Education Departments these days, filled as they are with high level Boomers whose own sexual freedoms back in the sixties and seventies led us to exactly the toxic place we are today.  They seem almost grimly determined to ensure that the next couple of generations are as screwed up as they were.

Once again it simply proves that progressive ideologies and governments either despise  – or ignore – mediating institutions such as families.  Rusty Reno, in his book Resurrecting the Idea of a Christian Society, points out that progressive statism constantly seeks ways to infiltrate and subvert the “mini-governments” in our culture that keep statism at bay; “mini-governments” such as family units and religious communities.

And in a year in which we’re going to see a double pressure on such mini-governments by the overreaching statist big-government. First there is the pressure of such programs being rolled out at a state level that will circumvent parental acquiescence, and secondly, there is the pressure of a likely incoming federal Labor government in Australia that is almost gleeful in its desire clamp down on religious educational institutions in terms what sexual ethics are permissible among their faith communities.

Above all else, statism reverses the relationship between governments and their people.  The government is to be held accountable to the people, not the other way around. Big government loves to first loosen, and then reverse, the accountability structure.

Big government determines that stakeholders – such as parents or other groups of voters – would, if let loose, be uncontrollable, violence-inducing, uneducated types who don’t know better, and who need to be circumvented if any progress is to be made.  Yet the sad fact is, in this country and throughout the West at the moment, the reality is the other way around.

It’s time for our governments to start showing some respect themselves.

Source

The Respectful Relationships Program Could Start by Respecting Parents.

[intelligentautisticmedia-blog]

Autistic Community Manifesto Part 1: Us Autistics Chapter 1: Autistic Brotherhood by Charles McIntyre

Prelude: 

Greetings fellow Autistics, I am Charles McIntyre, I am 26 and was diagnosed with PDD-NOS (Autism) when I was 4. My greatest strengths are Hyper Empathy, being analytical, seeing details and patterns others miss and word-smithing.

My greatest struggles are connecting with people, executive dysfunction, SPD, CAPD. I officially formed the group Call "Intelligent Autistic Media" in April 2017. Our mission statement is to spread 1. Autistic Pride 2.) Encourage and instruct Autistic Self Advocacy 3.) Defeat Anti-Autistic stigma and myths, 4.) Encourage and instruct NT Ally ship 5.) Improve the lives of Autistics and their families as much as possible.

               I run this Facebook Group has at this about 380 members and we have been active for almost a year. We are an okay group, but I have not been as a successful leader as would like to be. I believe this to be because I my struggles with struggles with executive dysfunction and my inability to connect to people in an effective and consistently. In short, I am more a creative, ambitious visionary, than a leader and organizer.

So, I decided to write this sort of "Manifesto of Campaigns" as way to offer up a list of campaigns and initiatives I believe could elevate the status of the Autistic Community and solve some of our problems. It is hope that this manifesto will inspire various members of the community to time, resources, and talents to execute the fore mentioned project and initiatives. I feel like success hinges on ability to organize and mobilize. With our collaboration and unity can we ever hope to overcome NT supremacy. I am not sure if everybody will agree to all my ideas, but I am throwing them out there regardless. If you do find ideas appealing, please contact me. I hope to set up some collaborations.  If you have any constructive criticisms, please elaborate. If you don’t have anything of meaning to add please ignore and scroll pass.

 Part 1: Us Autistic Chapter 1: Autistic Brotherhood 

Now, as were particularly diverse demographic of exceedingly unique individuals, unification is of   course easier said than done.  I would propose constitution or a share list of demands. As often have embracive personalities and none of us like to walk on eggshells we try to be patient with each other as much as we and agree to interact with a shared written code of ethics or social guidelines

Here is an example of such a code: 1.) If you are not of groups demographic stay in your lane. Ie don't talk about something that you don't understand. 2.) If you post something covers anything that may cause someone a panic attack or extreme discomfort; ie Sexual assault, violence, bigotry ect... ad a Trigger warning. 3.) If you post anything that has possible uncomfortable subject matter or contents; ie swearing, sex, sensory issues ect ad a content warning. 4.) Do not use sarcasm or hyperbole or otherwise confusing language.  5.) While in debate or disagreement do not assume hostility unless it is blatant. You maybe projecting or overthinking. Try asking the other person to clarify.  6.) Try to stay on topic with the post while commenting. 7.) If you see a post or comment that upsets you or that you disagree with scroll past it unless you deem it necessary.  8.) When engaging in a debate be polite and avoid using vulgar language or name calling.  9.) Walk away from an argument if it gets to heated. 10.) If someone does not want to argue, don't drag them back into thread by tagging them. This is harassment. 11.) Do not play mind games or gaslight. This is harassment. 12.) Conversing with multiple people use tags to distinguish to whom you speak.

  First and foremost, though, we must spread Autistic Pride and self-love. I did not want to admit to having any connection to my fellow Autistics until I was able to accept my own Autism. Even now sometimes I get discouraged and wish I was different. I think Autistic self-defecation should thought as virus that we must try to remedy as soon as possible lest it spread through toxic interaction. This does not we shove pride down are fellow Autistics’ throats, but we must always strive to encourage and uplifting whenever possible.  This again would require us to mutually patient with each other.

One idea I have for unification is reject any ideas that we can be or should be Neuro-typical. We shall not try to be what are not. In do this we should reject Neuro-typical social customs viewpoints. We should instead develop our own Autistic social customs and viewpoints. Thus, establishing Autistic social culture.

 As we all know functioning labels divide, silence and stigmatize people across the autistic community. The simplest fly, generalize, and stereotype the experiences of all autistic people. We must never let the neuro- typicals force them on us nor any other autistic. At the same time however, we must be sensitive to the two different ways autistic people struggle. We must never imagine that our experience with autism the same as anyone else’s experience with lot. To demonstrate this point, I’m going to exemplify to members of the autistic community with very different forms of autism without relying on functioning labels.

               Many of us know of John Elder Robinson. He is the author of such books as “look me in the eye”, “be different” and others. In both books, he talks about his struggles and talents. Some of his struggles include sensory processing disorder, social ineptness, aversion to eye contact and possibly executive dysfunction. There is natural engineering talents and creativity, he was able to leave home, find employment, incomplete independence, at age 16. (He also grew up in a different time).

 This contrasts with the experiences of Carly Fleishman. Carly, who is a brilliant young woman, is a brilliant writer, and has developed quite the charming TV personality has struggles and talents very different to Mr. Robinson. In the memoir she wrote with her father Arthur Fleischman; “Finding Carly’s Voice” Carly is described as being nonverbal, having episodes of intense sensory overload, as well as experiencing more extreme meltdowns and coping with more prominent stemming. Throughout her early in adolescent years Carly has been sent to live in a variety of institutions designed for people with her type of autism. Before she learned to effectively type, or diagnosis also included intellectual impairment. She has recently been nominated for a reward called a “Shorty”, but I am uncertain if she has managed to live independent yet.

Essentially what I’m saying is, we must give recognition to struggles and talents of the Carly Fleishman’s, the John Elder Robinson’s, the Naoki  Higashida’s, Stephen Wiltshire’s and everyone else in between in the autistic spectrum. It might be most convenient, we mapped out different types of autistic. This way be as crude was insensitive as functioning labels but would be more like 16 personality types. It would provide some symbolic shorthand to understand the person struggle and strength, without knowing everything about that person.

                 If we do not commit ourselves to encouraging self-advocacy and union ship in cooperation with people throughout different autism types, if we say, “oh yes, I am autistic, but I don’t want to be associated with these autistics, because I’m not freak like them,” then we are not really better than those neuro- typical bigots alienate, and discriminate against us. We autistics are also all we have. We must be inclusive as possible to maximize our numbers. If we cannot be inclusive to towards our own people how can we expect neuro- typicals to be inclusive towards us?

                 Once we have figured out way to bring empowerment, self-love and pride to people across the spectrum must also remember to be intersectional. Intersectional means that while we focus on autistic issues, make ourselves aware that people with identities other than autistic marginalized in different ways and therefore may have different struggles. To illustrate example, I once got accosted with a police officer because he suspected me of smoking cannabis at a town dance. The truth is my eyes were red because I was crying. I couldn’t look him in the eye, because I am in fact autistic and my ability to look people in the eye diminishes as I get more nervous. He thought I was lying in my have arrested me of his partner had pulled him away as he pulled away he shouted, “if you’re lying to me 10 times worse!” Now this was not my only encounter with police. Not my only misunderstanding. It is very common for autistic people to have some dealings police either as a victim or as a suspect. As we are autistic, it can be difficult to be out how to figure these situations and police sir severely under trained to understand or accommodate autistic people. While this incident was fortunate, I will tell you, that would ruin been worse if I were Black. Police tend to unjustly patrol black neighborhoods more and act more hostile towards people of color. If I had been black is much more possible that I would have been arrested and/or beaten by the police. Being intersectional means that we are sensitive to such issues of extra vulnerability to autistics who have extra vulnerability due to belonging to another marginalized demographic.

                 Being intersectional means that as leaders we do not let the members of our community indulge in any form of bigotry. Mustn’t allow any; racism, six them/misogyny, homophobia, trans-phobia, ablism, Islam phobia, anti-Semitism, classism or any other form of bigotry. (If we criticize any creed or religion we must be careful not to act discriminatory against all the members of that said creed or religion. For example: is perfectly fine to criticize Christianity and other religions for things that homophobia, trans-phobia, misogyny, racism and ablism Etc. but we cannot take this out on a random Christian. We should be accepting of people of differing creed identities under the condition that they are accepting of people different identities as well. Again, if we are not willing to be accepting of people from demographics that are different from us, if we indulge ourselves in bigotry, we are no different than those neuro- typical bigots that alienate discriminate against us.

                 Once we formed an all-inclusive and all accepting that all intersectional, autistic community we must strengthen it. We need people to feel pride. To do this we must remind people that autism is a pervasive condition meeting affects every aspect of a person. This means that while your struggles are because autism strengths and talents and expertise is also thanks to autism. We must also remind those autistics who have not found self-acceptance, of those autistics across the spectrum are found major success. Again, self-pride is necessary to push one’s self forward on a tough road ahead.

It will also be important for autistics to be experts in autism. We must do this to best understand ourselves and spread awareness to others. Also, I want us all to be old to really drive it home to those neuro- typicals who believe they understand autism better in anyone else that we are the ultimate experts. And we understand autism in ways that no one else can possibly can.

 One of the most important things for everyone in the autistic community to know how to do is self-allocate. I will go over this in more detail in a future chapter. It should go without saying that is a tool that carves our path to self-empowerment and control of our own destiny. Self-efficacy is something that autistic children should learn from an early age. We must never allow members of her community to be apologetic for being autistic.

One interesting person has memorized the basics of self-advocacy, they are ready to graduate to social political activism for the entire autistic community. I will also go into more detail on such ideas in a later chapter. Basically, we must make sure people the autistic community are aware of the political and activism tools out their disposal. We must help make sure members over community are aware of how they are being marginalized and how their community the daily subject of social political discussion whether they like to acknowledge it or not. A shocking number of autistics seem to be oblivious facts. Thing to consider is while autism can make it difficult to stand up for oneself against an oppressor, we all must learn to do so.

 This has been chapter 1 of my autism community manifesto. And I discussed basic folkways autistics should apply to themselves to get along with the community, how to make sure the community stays all-inclusive and intersectional, how people in the community should be proud aware of their own autism now they should learn how to self-advocate and eventually politically activate for the community. I hope you found it useful so far or at least provocative. Next chapter will discuss stuff out is the and social political activism in greater detail. Until then, this has been Charles McIntyre, power and peace to the community!

[thejoeydavis]

Movies of 2016

(I’m posting this late but for archival purposes I’m putting it here)

Every January I do a list of all the movies I watched over the past year in chronological order and this,, as you can tell,, is that list. Each movie is rated out of 10 and rounded to the nearest whole number for simplicity and because I use the letterboxd app to log all my movies and it uses a 5 star system. These number ratings are meant to be as objective as possible, which means they’re judged on commonly agreed upon film conventions and what most critics and kinophiles would consider to be “good film,” as pretentious as that sounds. Really it just means I went with my gut feeling and then considered technical aspects and effectiveness on all of these. Paired with each are some thoughts to talk about what I liked or disliked, how it made me feel, etc. I’ll try to keep it short on as many as I can since there are so many. tl;dr: top 10 is at the bottom

Anomalisa – 7 – a predictably depressing Charlie Kaufman film about loneliness and being human—somewhat ironic considering it’s a stop motion film. Don’t let the puppets with 3d printed faces fool you; this is a very human movie with one of the most realistic sex scenes ever captured on film. Probably don’t see this with your mom like I did.

Inside Llewyn Davis – 8 – one of my favorite movies of the past few years and one of my top Coen bros movies. The charismatic but dickish performance by Oscar Isaac and beautiful folk soundtrack depicts a hard life for a musician in early 1960s New York that will make you feel better about yourself (unless you’re a musician).

 Me, and Earl, and the Dying Girl – 8 – also one of my favorite movies of the past few years, this love letter to classic film by Alfonso Gomez-Rejon is a beautiful story of a popular kid in high school who befriends a girl with terminal cancer. Essentially Perks of Being a Wallflower meets criterion collection.

Project X – 7 – one of my guilty pleasure movies. Lots of fun.

 The Hateful Eight (70mm) – 6 – I got to see this in 70mm complete with preshow overture and intermission and it was an incredible experience. I loved the movie but it’s not Tarantino’s best by any stretch. Note the huge disparity in rating from last year when I gave it a 9.2. This film is not a 9.2.

 The Forest – 3 – in this movie Natalie Dormer goes to the Japanese suicide forest to search for her sister who went missing. Suicide is a very apt theme here considering how heavily I considered ending my life during this movie. Truly awful.

 Carol – 6 – one of those movies that I know is good but I just didn’t enjoy. It’s about Rooney Mara and Cate Blanchett as they try to hide their forbidden romantic relationship in 1950s New York. Long, slow, but very pretty and touching, I’d recommend it if you like character driven stories—especially ones about LGBT issues because it’s very good in that regard.

 Hail, Caesar – 7 – underrated mystery film by the Coen’s about old Hollywood and communists. More along the lines of the Big Lebowski than No Country For Old Men. Just a really fun movie with a great sense of world building that makes 1930s Hollywood really come alive.

 Deadpool – 7 – pretty funny and exactly the kind of movie Ryan Reynolds and fans wanted. Probably the only good Marvel movie made by Fox.

 The Witch – 8 – a visceral and disturbing film about a cursed life in 1600s New England, The Witch (stylized as The VVitch) is one of the best horror movies I’ve ever seen. Be warned though, it’s the definition of slow burn horror so you’ll probably dislike it if you’re used to modern horror films.

 10 Cloverfield Lane – 7 – one of the big surprises of the year and also one of the most thrilling, Mary Elizabeth Winstead and John Goodman both give excellent performances. It’s basically a bottle episode completely unrelated to the first film. People have criticized Winstead’s character for her actions at the end but it completes her character arc perfectly so it definitely works.

 Room – 8 – beautiful film. Somewhat overrated.

 Brooklyn – 8 – one of my favorites from 2015 and immensely enjoyable from start to finish. This story of an Irish girl moving to Brooklyn shows that the conflict doesn’t have to be high stakes for it to be compelling.

 Batman v Superman – 4 – wow surprise surprise, Zack Snyder made another shit movie. Awful film full of clichés and nonsensical dialogue, bizarre editing, and the incredibly moronic decision to try and kickstart an entire cinematic universe in a dreadfully painful 2+ hour runtime. This movie sucks and DC needs to either hire some competent scriptwriters and directors or just give up already.

 Zootopia – 7 – ah the quintessential furry movie 2016. I really enjoyed this and it has great rewatch value. One of the most beautifully animated movies of the year.

 Midnight Special – 6 – I had no expectations for this movie and I was pleasantly surprised by it, although somewhat let down by the ending. It’s an interesting story about a kid with unknown supernatural powers being smuggled to a specific coordinates where he says something will happen. The mystery unfolds throughout the run time and there are some pretty cool scenes. Fun sci-fi to rent maybe.

 Midnight in Paris – 7 – 1920s Paris is arguably one of the best eras to be alive in and Woody Allen captures the magic of the period well. As with most modern Woody Allen films it’s pretty cheesy—especially the modern day scenes—but the scenes that take place in the 1920s with F Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway, Gertrude Stein, and Picasso are truly a delight. One of my favorite movies from 2011.

 Captain America Civil War – 7 – not bad but much worse than Winter Soldier. It was enjoyable at least and miles ahead of Avengers 2.

 Green Room – 8 – a disturbing, white-knuckle rollercoaster of a film that follows a punk band as they fight off a bar full of alt-righ—I mean neo-nazis. An absolute must-see.

 The Nice Guys – 7 – fun from start to finish, Ryan Gosling and Russell Crowe give two funny and over the top performances in this 1970s period film about two detectives who get caught up in a case that’s way over their heads. Definite recommendation. Crowe’s performance in the first third/half or so is very melodramatic and over the top cool-guy but I believe it was intended to be tongue in cheek so don’t let it throw you.

 The Jungle Book – 6 – not bad.

 Raiders of the Lost Ark – 9 – a near perfect movie and one of, if not the best action movie of all time.

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 Make Happy – 8 – Bo Burnham tweeted about a special premiere screening of his new special back in March so I bought tickets and went with Andrew to see it. We went to the Largo in West Hollywood and were treated to a short comedy show and the grand premiere of Make Happy, Bo’s last one-man show for the foreseeable future. It was an incredible experience.

 The World of Tomorrow – 8 – it’s only 16 minutes and it’s by Don Herzfeldt—what’s not to love? Get ready for an existential crisis.

 The Conjuring 2 – 7 – pretty spooky in some parts with a cool little i spy game you can play with the name of the ghost demon lady. Not as good as the first.

 Finding Dory – 7 – older Pixar films have a certain level of charm that all their films post-Toy Story 3 (barring Monsters University) don’t seem to have and this is no exception. It was very enjoyable but it just felt like it doesn’t have the magic that the old ones have.

 The Shallows – 4 – the amount of praise this movie received was deadass baffling. This is one of the worst movies I’ve seen this year and I don’t see how so many people missed the cliché dialogue and plot, ridiculous shark cgi, exploitative ass shots, and absolutely insane and unrealistic attempts to kill the shark. Critics and audiences comparing this to Jaws is an insult to not only Spielberg, but also the art of filmmaking itself.

 Frances Ha – 9 – one of my favorite movies of all time, this black and white indie film by Noah Baumbach and Greta Gerwig is a cozy tale of solipsistic loneliness, friendship, and following your dreams. It’s depressing, but in a very relatable and reassuring way. Greta Gerwig as the New York dancer Frances is so believable that seeing her in other roles feels almost disingenuous. Honestly if you watch anything on this list you should watch this first, foremost and as soon as possible. It’s on netflix!

 Mistress America – 7 – another one by Noah Baumbach and Greta Gerwig and it was actually my introduction to their work. I loved this movie when I first saw it but it pales in comparison to Frances. Still a great movie with wonderful acting and snappy as hell dialogue. Fun fact: Noah Baumbach worked with Wes Anderson in the past and it shows here, especially in the dialogue.

 The Neon Demon – 8 – one of the most polarizing films of the year but a definite return to form by the near infamous Nicolas Winding Refn. The success of the 2011 masterpiece Drive was not good for Refn’s ego apparently as he followed it up with the nauseatingly self-indulgent Only God Forgives. Thank goodness he was able to find a balance between pure art film and accessible indie film with the Neon Demon. It’s by no means very accessible but the acting, especially from the main girls and a sleazy Keanu Reeves, is great and the visuals are incredibly surreal and v e r y v e r y n e o n . Recommend if you like artsy films with lots of sex and blood.

 Back to the Future – 10 – a textbook example of what a perfect movie looks like.

 It Follows – 8 – nothing but love for this creepy and atmospheric 2015 horror/suspense film about the end of childhood and the impending dread of adulthood. Really it’s about a supernatural shape shifting thing with its “rule” being that acts like an std being passed down through sexual partners. If the thing catches you, it then goes after the previous person in the chain and so on, so the only way to save yourself is to pass it on or run endlessly in futility. Please do see this it’s great.

 The Secret Life of Pets – 6 – a disappointment but Louis CK as a dog was fun to see.

 Hush – 5 – not very good Netflix horror movie about a guy terrorizing a deaf lady at her home in the woods for some reason.

 Snatch – 6 – I suppose if I were more familiar with Guy Ritchie’s work I would’ve enjoyed it more but it looks like it was shot by a Tarantino wannabe edgelord and edited in windows moviemaker. Still entertaining though.

 Horace and Pete – 10 – Horace and Pete is a dramedy web series multi-camera sitcom written, directed, and produced by Louis CK and it’s the single best serial program I’ve ever seen. This is a true masterpiece in every sense and the writing and acting is some of the best in a serial program. It was so good that I actually could not enjoy anything else for days after because everything paled in comparison. For example, I watched Stranger Things the day after I finished this and I had to stop watching three episodes in because it was completely and utterly awful compared to Horace and Pete. The quality of writing is unbelievable and I laughed and cried at many many points. Louis CK, Steve Buscemi, Edie Falco, and Alan Alda, bring career defining performances to the small screen and I cannot wait to watch it again—although I’m not sure I’m prepared for it.

 Breathless (1960) – 7 – one of the most defining films of the French New Wave, this film by Jean Luc-Godard is a love story shot in some of the most unconventional ways I’ve seen in a film. It’s not surreal or weird but it certainly is interesting. Worth a watch if you like the cinematography of Wes Anderson, Woody Allen, or Louis CK—although it’s a much more saturated French New Wave style since all those styles are derivative of this. Has some of the most intriguing and innovative tracking/dolly shots I’ve ever seen. In fact, at one point two characters are walking down the street but they couldn’t afford a dolly for the tracking shot, so they had the cameraman sit in a wheelchair and film while someone pulled him backwards to make the shot. Really that’s what French New Wave is all about: innovating and using filmmaking techniques that were unprecedented at the time.

 Star Trek Beyond – 6 – a really fun return to the franchise that actually felt somewhat like a Star Trek film—unlike that last one. It’s still just an action movie franchise now but it’s just a real good time.

 Lights Out – 3 – again, the praise this film received was COMPLETELY unwarranted and totally baffling. This movie blows and is so saturated with clichés that I can’t imagine liking this film. don’t waste ur time.

 Mike & Dave Need Wedding Dates – 5 – actually hilarious movie. Really dumb but so goddamn funny. Zach Efron and Adam Devine are a great duo. Has arguably the best exchange about fisting in the history of film.

 Café Society – 6 – a pretty good modern Woody Allen film. Much better than his last two, Irrational Man and Magic in the Moonlight. It’s nice to see a film from Woody Allen that isn’t about a much older man falling in love with a much younger woman.

 Suicide Squad – 2 – “roses are red/there is no god/my favorite movie?/suicide squad.” – Gideon Ondap deadass one of the worst movies I have ever seen. I wrote a 10 page essay on this after it came out but basically the editing is jarring enough to induce brain trauma, the acting is atrocious, and the script is objectively bad. A complete and utter failure of a film. The name is a warning.

 The Room – 1 – another one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen yet 1000x more enjoyable than Suicide Squad. Tommy Wisseau is a genius and this is his magnum opus. Required viewing. Also I must say that a Suicide Squad/The Room double feature makes for one of the funniest nights of life.

 Scott Pilgrim vs The World – 8 – honestly one of my favorite movies. A super well done adaptation directed by Edgar Wright, this film is able to stand independently next to the already spectacular Scott Pilgrim graphic novel series. The music is incredible. It never gets old.

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 Sausage Party – 5 – obscene, racist, vulgar, and dumb as hell with a giant food orgy at one point. Still laughed at much of it.

 Captain Fantastic – 8 – a dad raising his kids to survive in the wilderness of Washington must bring them into society to attend their dead mother’s funeral. A big surprise and one of the most enjoyable movies I saw this year.

 Don’t Think Twice – 8 – Mike Birbiglia has always been one of my favorite comedians because his stories were so heartwarming, wholesome, and packed to the brim with jokes that would reward you on multiple viewings or listens. Don’t Think Twice is Mike’s second movie I believe, and it’s about an improv group in Brooklyn having fun doing their craft while trying to make a life for themselves. When you’re a comedian/improviser,, your friends are too, but if one of you actually gets a big break then it’s that person’s break and no one else’s. It causes a lot of tension between performers because even though they’re all friends, they’re still actively competing in a highly sought after profession. Judd Apatow came out after he saw the movie and said how accurately it depicts the life of comedy performers. It’s a really depressing (in a relatable way) and realistic take on the competitive world of improv and deals with friendship, comedy, and how cruel life can really be. Beautiful movie.

 American Beauty – 8 – really did not like this the first time but warmed up to it on the second viewing and it really shines despite many dated aspects.

 Antz – 6 – woody allen as a ant oy vey

 Back to the Future II – 5 – pretty bad sequel until he goes back to 1955. Worse than the third tbh

 Everybody Wants Some!! – 7 – even after the abortion that was Boyhood I didn’t give up on Richard Linklater and I’m glad I didn’t. This spiritual sequel to Dazed and Confused (but in the 80s this time!) was a ton of fun.

 Clapping for the Wrong Reasons – 8 – this short film written by Donald Glover and directed by Hiro Murai is about a surreal day in the life of The Boy, a character Donald Glover created as the speaker of his Because the Internet album (his magnum opus imo). Hot take: Chance v Bino push up contest contender for best film scene ever.

 Kubo and the Two Strings – 7 – the most beautiful disappointment of the year. The incredible stop motion animation is unfortunately much more enjoyable than the underwhelming story. Not as good as Coraline.

 Hell or High Water – 8 – the director of photography from Sicario returns for this modern western about two brothers who rob the banks that screwed over their mother. Great performances from Jeff Bridges, Ben Foster, and Chris Pine.

 Don’t Breathe – 7 – this horror film about three thieves who break into an old blind man’s house borders on exploitation film towards the end. Not that bad.

 Blair Witch – 6 – not as bad as everyone said it was. It’s a soft reboot of 99’s Blair Witch Project but with a modern horror twist—which means it relies mainly on jump scares and unnecessary use of found footage tropes rather than atmosphere building and genuine terror. I still thoroughly enjoyed it and thought the last 15 minutes or so were really spooky. The creature design was really great and the way time moved was an interesting horror device. If you liked the first one but were bored by it then you’ll probably like this one because it moves a bit faster although you might be bored by it too. Oh but side note: that drone scene was fucking stupid.

 Over The Garden Wall – 10 – this 10 episode cartoon network animated miniseries aired in the fall of 2014 and follows two boys as they wander through the woods to find their way back home. It stars Elijah Wood, Christopher Lloyd, Melanie Lynskey, John Cleese, Tom Lennon, and Tim Curry among others. The story itself is inspired by Dante Alighieri’s Inferno and the music is inspired by early 20th century Americana folk music. It’s literally the single most charming thing I’ve ever seen and it’s an absolute MUST SEE.

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 Doctor Strange – 7 – not much to say about this one but I liked it. The visuals were top notch and although Dr Strange is basically just Tony Stark pt 2, it makes sense considering how much lesser of a role Stark will play in later movies. I’m really excited for the new Thor movie now.

 The Purge Election Year – 4 – each Purge movie is better than the last and this third installment is still a 4. That’s pretty much all there is to say. There are some legitimately hilarious parts in this though—all unintentional.

 O Brother, Where Art Thou? – 7 – another silly Coen film and one of their most accessible. Good film based on the Odyssey.

 Arrival – 9 – Dennis Villeneuve is quickly becoming one of my favorite directors after last year’s Sicario and now 2016’s Arrival. This is a film about humanity, the complete frivolity of our problems, and how staying divided will be our undoing. The cinematography is breathtaking, the score is great (much of it follows the circle of 5ths, which will make sense after watching), the acting is good, and the film just has a beautiful sense of scope to it. I encourage you to watch this and DON’T WATCH ANY TRAILERS OR READ ANYTHING ABOUT IT. I assure you; you’ll want to go into this as blind as possible (and you should never watch trailers anyway they literally ruin films).  In Trump’s America this movie is even more important so please I urge you to watch this.

 Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them – 5 – the Phantom Menace of the Harry Potter universe, Fantastic Beasts has so much exposition and forced world building that anyone who hasn’t seen the first 8 hp films will probably have a tough time figuring out what’s going on. The opening sequence is literally just a montage of newspaper headlines saying how terrible this dark wizard is, which was done in harry potter but over the span of roughly 3 movies rather than 1 minute. Overall positives: the creature designs were fun, Jacob was rad, the humor was effective, the cgi wasn’t /that/ bad, newt’s hair was wavy af (and he was a hufflepuff, which I appreciate), and the costumes may get an Oscar nomination. As for the cons: so much panning, craning, and tracking that I could barely see what was going on due to low framerate, the first 10-15 minutes are a suicide squad level editing disaster, the pacing was weird at times, they revealed who the main antagonist was in his actual first scene, too many plotlines interweaved, inexcusably bad framing in a few shots, and the ending was a little bit Chekhov’s gun but was pretty much deus ex machina. This just didn’t feel as magical as the harry potter films and, like star wars 7, it feels like a failed attempt to recapture what made people love the franchise in the first place. It was a very flawed film but I still enjoyed it and will watch it again.

 Moana – 6 – VERY overrated but still good. How a lot of people felt about Frozen is how I feel about this movie. The animation was incredible, the voice acting was great, the songs were good (although not nearly as catchy or memorable as Frozen, save for Shiny) and it ends up being another Tangled, a movie I enjoyed but will forget about very soon—hell I’ve already forgotten about it. Just think about how long Frozen was a thing. People were talking about Frozen for months after and I haven’t seen anyone mention Moana since its opening weekend. Overall a huge disappointment. Zootopia was the far superior animated feature this year.

 The Handmaiden – 8 – my first Park Chan-wook film and I loved it ! This film is fucking enigma for the first half and then as soon as one detail is revealed it suddenly opens up and becomes an incredible psychological thriller. I honestly was not enjoying this film for the first act or so because of how seemingly meaningless it was but it really shaped up to be one of my favorites of the year. Never before have I experienced a film that made me 180 on opinion during the course of its runtime. Be warned: don’t see this with your parents or anyone you would feel awkward watching porn with because this shit is basically pornography at MANY points during the film. I don’t know if my friend and his brother have forgiven me yet.

 Unedited Footage of a Bear – 8 – there’s a tl;dr at the bottom of this one because it’s a little long and expository. I was watching an idubbbz video (https://youtu.be/5Bs45yITIt0) back in November and many criticized how unfunny and bizarre it was compared to his other content. People started to speculate that he was doing a metafictional series about his channel along the lines of alantutorial (https://www.youtube.com/user/alantutorial), a channel in which performance artist Alan Resnick plays a fictionalized version of himself who is depicted as a mentally ill young man obsessed with making tutorial videos. This alantutorial series is a commentary on poorly made tutorial videos that flood youtube, as well as social media in general and the overwhelming desire for likes, favorites, going viral, etc. after discovering Alan Resnick and watching all his videos I started to seek out his other content and I found this short film that aired as part of Adult Swim’s infomercial slot at 4 a.m. This may sound familiar to some as the timeslot for Too Many Cooks, which went viral. This short film, titled Unedited Footage of a Bear, can be watched here: https://youtu.be/2gMjJNGg9Z8 and parodies those commercials you’ll often see on tv about drugs that are peddled to mentally ill people without proper testing. This film depicts addiction as a force that can and will ruin your life, your family’s life, and will kill you if left unchecked. There’s an explanation you can watch here: https://youtu.be/_2e5ia9j0TA that explains it really well and is worth the watch. tl;dr: cool 10-minute short horror film about addiction by performance artist Alan Resnick – check it out.

Twin Peaks (Pilot) – 8 – it was good

 This House Has People In It – 8 – hey look another Alan Resnick short film. you can watch it here: https://youtu.be/x-pj8OtyO2I and the attempted explanation is here: https://youtu.be/mjBTAnCUbZc because this one is pretty complicated compared to footage of a bear. also worth the watch simply for the L O R E

 No Country For Old Men – 10 – one of the best movies of this century hands down. not sure if I rate it quite as high as There Will Be Blood though, which came out the same year. The Coen’s crowning achievement (although you could argue that title belongs to The Big Lebowski for reasons)

 Moonlight – 9 – a very heavy coming of age film about a young boy living in the south who attempts to find himself while growing up in an incredibly unforgiving environment. beautiful film and I’m excited to see it again. very very important film for LGBT issues.

 Nocturnal Animals – 8 – one of the biggest surprises this year. I LOVED this movie and it stayed with me for days. as soon as it started I made a mental note that I’d have to really pay attention to everything because I figured it would be heavy with metaphor and symbolism and boi was I right about that. Amy Adams and Jake Gyllenhaal give great performances and I honestly can’t tell you the last time I got so emotionally invested in a film. people have criticized Adams’ performance as melodramatic and cold, which is the point because she’s not supposed to be likeable. the narrative structure is refreshing and fun to piece together and the visuals were pretty alright. my favorite part of this movie was piecing together all the metaphors (of which there are many) and figuring out what the events of the Nocturnal Animals manuscript (in the film) means for the characters. It’s been a very polarizing film apparently, which surprised me since it doesn’t really try to be anything more than it is. It definitely rewards close observation but I can’t guarantee everyone will like this one. I won’t say more because going into it blind is the best way but I do recommend it. Tense, emotional, gripping, funny. It’s good.

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 Star Wars Rogue One – 8 – I really enjoyed this. I probably don’t need to say much because it’s star wars but this was the best star wars film since Empire Strikes Back in my opinion (although episode III wasn’t that bad). the characters were a little flat, some of the humor was out of place, and the first 30 minutes had bad pacing, but overall it was great. the action in this one was insane and I’m so happy that we finally got to see a proper space battle (and holy shit is it a good one). this has one of my favorite moments of the entire series and it actually feels like a star wars movie unlike episode VII.

 La La Land – 10 – I’m at a loss for words honestly. This movie is so fucking good. The soundtrack is incredible, the choreography is awesome, the cinematography is BEAUTIFUL, and the performances are wonderful. I could keep thinking of adjectives or I could just tell you to go see this movie as soon as you can. Best movie of the year hands down. LA has never looked so fucking good OH MAN please go see this movie you’ll surely regret it if you don’t. OH and we went to see this in the Vista Theater in LA, which was a once in a lifetime experience. See this in the most old-Hollywood theater you can because it actually improves it if that’s possible. Now there are some flaws, mainly in third act pacing, but it’s so enjoyable that it doesn’t matter.

 Ferris Bueller’s Day Off – 10 – it’s a classic and could be considered a perfect film. not much to say but it’s definitely one of my favorites of all time. never gets old.

 Home Alone – 8 – this was the first time I watched Home Alone and I liked it.

 Assassin’s Creed – 6 – the neckbeard-y guy doing anime runs up and down the stairs of the theatre behind us really set the tone for this movie. I didn’t hate it but it was pretty dreary and I feel like almost nothing happened. I don’t think it translates to the screen well but it did capture the feel of the games, or at least the first one. Let’s just say after seeing this I went on a mission to watch at least one more movie so it wouldn’t be my last of the year.

 Swiss Army Man – 7 – the praise for this movie was a bit unwarranted. It’s really silly and touching but it wasn’t the modern masterpiece that everyone was saying it was. maybe I missed something but the corpse of Daniel Radcliffe farting is only tolerable and funny for so long. I will say that this is one of the most unique movies I’ve ever seen, so I’ll give it props for that, and the soundtrack was actually incredible. I enjoyed it very much and need to watch it again but it was alright.

Come Together – 8 – an H&M short film by Wes Anderson that can be watched here: https://youtu.be/VDinoNRC49c . It was cute and I guess it’ll hold me over until Isle of Dogs, which comes out in 2018 (no it won’t)

 The Lobster – 8 – this absurd commentary on relationships and their influence on society is just bizarre and has a wonderfully dry performance from Colin Farrell and, well, every other actor too. this film is just crazy and I really need to watch it again. Expect it to be on my next year’s list as well. TOP TEN RELEASED IN 2016 xxx 10 – The Nice Guys

9 – Hell or High Water

8 – The Handmaiden

7 – Don’t Think Twice

6 – The Witch

5 – Moonlight

4 – Nocturnal Animals

3 – Green Room

2 – Arrival

1 – La La Land honorable mentions: Captain Fantastic, Horace and Pete, The Neon Demon, Make Happy recommendations: Frances Ha, Mistress America, Over the Garden Wall, The World of Tomorrow, Midnight in Paris, Me, and Earl, and the Dying Girl, The Lobster and finally the award for worst movie of the year goes to ,,,,, SUICIDE SQUAD duh. In 2016 I watched 77 movies, which is terrible considering I watched 124 last year and 92 in 2014. That gap from September to November really killed me in that regard and hopefully it won’t happen again or for as long next time. Overall this was actually a pretty weak year for movies it seems. Looking at my top of the year list, it looks significantly weaker than last year’s which had The Revenant, It Follows, Me and Earl and the Dying Girl, Sicario, and Brooklyn. If anyone has questions or suggestions about anything I’d love to have a discussion so feel free. Here’s to another year of great movies. also if you’d like to follow me on twitter @thejoeydavis please do because I’m a huge slut for likes and I desperately want and need your approval. thanks for reading