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#it's just a lil thing I wanted to write
pokimoko · 10 months
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haunting the narrative -> haunted by the narrative -> haunting the narrative -> haunted by
#adventure time#fionna and cake#simon petrikov#betty grof#petrigrof#fan art#fanart#art#digital art#my art#just a lil something something i did for fun#adventure time has always been the show that makes me want to draw (i have SO many AT drawings from 2015 it's ridiculous)#but now I'm coming back to that ye olde passion with new digital art skills and many more evil tragic thoughts (thank you fionna and cake🙏)#i couldn't get the thought about them haunting and be haunted by the narrative out of my head so I had to make some art for it#the caption for this was almost: so who wears the haunted by the narrative in the relationship?#they take turns of course because damn these guys really do be having that tragic romance huh. hot potato cursed existence#never quite on the same wavelength. always out of reach. their love the very thing that dooms them to be apart. a love defined by absences#like two ships in the night passing each other by. except they keep trying to seek the other out. and so end up going in circles#the tragic dance of madness and sadness. lead on and i shall follow. ....so anyway...these two amiright?#/might/ have to write something at some point...maybe...#because like... ghosts are my thing. and these two...well. even when they aren't haunting the narrative they are still ghosts#never let themselves live in the present and okay I'm going to stop now. enjoy the art byeeeee#...AND they'll never be at peace because they'll always be reaching for a version of each other that no longer exists and—#(i am dragged kicking and screaming from the room before i can devolve into a full blown meta)
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coalitiongirl · 1 month
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Regina cuts her off, her stomach roiling. “You talk about me with Henry?” Emma shrugs. “You come up sometimes. He really does care about you. And I think you care about him.” “You think?” Regina demands, and her fists tighten. “You think?” Emma turns away from her, focuses on Henry on his swing. Regina follows suit, letting the sight of him calm her. He’s going higher and higher, and he kicks off his shoes when he’s at the top of the swing, sending them flying across the playground. It’s so normal, so much like a scene from a year ago, before everything had fallen apart. “I wasn’t sure,” she says. “I didn’t know if you…if you saw him as something to have. Or if you really loved him.” Regina seethes. Something in her chest withers and dies. She’s furious. She isn’t hurt, because she will never give Emma Swan the power to hurt her again. “This town still stands only because Henry is inside of it. And you think that I don’t love him?” Emma doesn’t respond to the threat, which had been stupid and will set Regina’s time with Henry back again, she’s sure. “You didn’t kiss him. When he was…after he ate that turnover. You didn’t even try to kiss him awake.” Regina had sat in the hospital room and wept, had felt the world falling apart around her, and no, she had not kissed Henry as Emma had. How arrogant it is, to believe that a kiss can work magic. How privileged it is for the laws of the world to break only for you. “I am no Charming,” she spits. “I don’t get beautiful fairytales, and I don’t expect them. Forgive me for being a realist.” Emma is silent. When Regina turns, Emma is watching her again, and there is a lingering something in her eyes. Not quite pity, not quite sorrow. But understanding, and Regina hates seeing it more than anything else. Hates the way that her heart leaps, and the next few breaths hitch and don’t emerge right.
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willowser · 1 year
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you don't know how much comfort your dragon king bkg drabble has given me ever since you posted it!! i keep reading it i love it sm 🥹
as it turns out, the man bakugou is — a bit harder to handle.
he sleeps like a heathen; you once thought the dragon bakugou to be a bit lazy, with how often he tended to curl up in the fields of grass, warm under the sun, but now — it would seem his little human form needs significantly less rest.
almost up all hours of the day, and when he does finally lay down, he's everywhere. a mess of limbs: one thrown carelessly out to the side and the other bent at an angle you can't believe doesn't hurt his joints. his head stays tucked into you somehow, either buried in your neck or pressed against your ribs — or you'll wake to find him nose-to-nose with you. he still snores like a dragon, however.
you're also beginning to wonder if there is a bottom to the pit of his stomach. he ate much before, whole fields of things, but you expected that appetite to dwindle, at least a little, now that his stomach has decreased considerably in size. and in number ? you're not even sure how many stomachs a dragon has; that's not something that was mentioned in the fairytales.
it burns through him quickly, gives him more energy than he needs, and it doesn't ever seem to affect his weight much. already, he's huge and thick with muscle and eating as much as he does never dulls the severity of his cut abdomen. not that you're looking all that much.
— not that you have a choice not to, as he seems to have little-to-no understanding of —
the door to the bathhouse kicks open, with enough force that you already know who it is without ever turning to look. you try not to shriek when you see him, because he seems to like that in some evil, impish way.
you've been alone to wash so far, thankfully, as the inn you'd managed to find was small and far enough out from the nearest kingdom that the occupancy was low — enough for you and your little brute.
the man bakugou comes to stand in front of the bath, blinking and huffing against the steam. finding clothes for him was — nearly impossible, and so the trousers you'd found hanging on someone's line outside fit above his ankles, a bit too tight around his waist. instead of a shirt, you've wrapped him in a scratchy linen, swaddled him up like a baby to cover the small smattering of scales that decorate his body, almost like freckles from the sun, though they gleam just as bright and red as they ever have. no matter his form.
a horn has started to sprout, on the right side of his forehead, and you've done your best to cover that, too.
you have no idea how long this man thing will last. if it's permanent or if he even has control over it. the last thing you need is for him to switch back, somehow, while you're in the middle of feeding him, absolutely demolishing whatever tavern you're in and calling all of king todoroki's guards to attention.
bakugou grunts, almost sleepy, and tosses a fat, weighty sack onto the edge of the bath. it jingles a certain jingle that makes your heart stop.
"oh, allfather—" you move for the edge, awkwardly keeping one arm against your chest despite the fact that he's seen it all by now. when you peek inside and confirm your fears, you lob it back to him furiously, as if it were a steaming potato. "where do you keep getting this stuff?"
things have started to turn up, miraculously. shiny things — like coins and rings and gems. things he could not have simply found rolling around in the dirt.
"go put it back!" you hiss at him, and the tone of your voice makes his frown deepen. you never realized how pouty he was, when he was still a dragon.
you think he understands you, and you're pretty certain he just chooses not to listen; instead of doing what you've told him in the slightest, he simply dumps the coin-purse to the floor, and then lets his linen and stolen trousers cover it as he unceremoniously undresses.
the biggest issue that you would say the man bakugou poses is — his complete lack of understanding of personal space.
"bakugou!" your voice wavers, shocked again by his nakedness. as if you haven't seen it all by now. "no, you — get out!"
but he does the exact opposite, which is hop into the steaming water, ignoring the arm you hold out to keep him away as he saddles up beside you. skin against scales, pressing a nose into your hair to huff out his annoyance, to make it something you can feel.
if anyone were to walk in right now, they would — probably think the lie you'd told the innkeeper was true. that you are a simple traveler and this is your mute, over-sized husband.
regardless, you think this behavior isn't polite. especially in a public bathhouse.
"bakugou," you try again, turning your face away as you speak to the wood-paneled wall. "i'm taking a bath, you have to wait your turn."
all you receive in response is another huff against your ear and a low rumble of disagreement from his chest.
he has yet to speak back, and has only used inhuman sounds as his points of conversation. the only word you've ever heard him utter is oi, which he does when he really thinks he needs your attention. you're starting to wonder if he's named you that in his head. oi.
curiously, you turn back to him and the movement has him pulling his face from your hair, just enough that he can look down at you, too. watch you, with the red-rippled sea in his eyes.
they're — amazing, you will admit. just as bright and detailed as they always have been. fit for a fairytale told by the fire, veiled by the soft-ash of his lashes. he watches you through them, half-lidded, and you wonder if it's something other than fatigue that has them so heavy.
"do you know what i'm saying?" you ask quietly, voice lacking the firm heat you want it to. instead it's heavy, too, weighted by something soft and unfamiliar and frightening. "can you even understand me?"
bakugou doesn't respond, not with a huff or a rumble or ever a purr, like the one he let out on the night he lay over you by the lake. you've only heard it sparingly since then, oftentimes in his sleep when his face is pressed into you.
you try not to frown at his silence, try not to let it disappoint you because it shouldn't; he's a dragon afterall, and you're not sure what it matters. the little horn protruding from his forehead catches your eye and you reach up to touch it gently, watching him blink away the water that drips from your wrist — and then he's turning into you again, too close.
beneath the water, you feel his hands skate up your bare thighs, wrap around your waist until your chest is pulled flush against his. you feel his huff, again, against the damp skin of your neck but it's slower, lighter. not laced with his frustration. some unknown thing you feel guilty for liking.
you drop your hand to his hair, rushing full force into all the damned things you've thought about doing but have been too afraid to. he's soft between your fingers, and you trace your nails lightly against his scalp until he groans quietly; a new noise, one you don't know how to translate.
your fingers stop when they brush upon little spines that have grown at the base of his skull, that have started to trail down the center of his back.
suddenly, tangled up in the bath with him, you wonder how much time you have left.
bakugou huffs again into your skin, a little fiercer this time, and it's because of his light jostling that you realize how rigid you've gone. you try to relax so that he will, too, though you must not do a convincing job, because a sharp nip comes to your earlobe.
"ow!" you squeal, but he doesn't let you go far, not even as you try to jerk away from him. in fact, the harder you try the more his teeth show: into your cheek and the point of your jaw and then dangerously low on your neck.
it's not until you finally freeze that he stops, huffing again, with a warmth that burns more than the steaming water.
and then, very quietly, he grumbles, "shitty wife," into your collarbone, just before biting you again.
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luck-of-the-drawings · 5 months
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my TWO FAVORITE THINGS IN THE WORLD, VAMPIRES N COWBOYS... deacon keller is SUCH a fun character, hes charming and funny but ALSO formidable and STRONG when he feels he needsta be. i hope him and arthur can get a chance to talk more and be better friends. l ike really good friend s. . like. like really good f. hangon i gotta go i think i hauve rabies.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#jrwi suckening spoilers#deacon keller#arthur bennett#OOUGUGHHAAOGUguguhh i feel so cringe whenever i ship two characters. like theyre not even REAL#why cant i be more 'hyperfixated' on getting bitched or something. CHRIST. anwyay i want em to hold hands or smth. yknow. freak stuff.#SO DEACON KELLER!! HE OVERHEARD ARTHUR TALKIN ABT THIS PLACE GETTING ATTACKED.. WE SAW HIM APPROACHING#AND THEN THE WHOLE FEAST PORTION OF THE PARTY HAPPENED N HE GOT STUCK#BUT HE KNEEEWW HE OVERHEARD ARTHUR SOMEHOW!! i just think thats neat. hes dedicated to protecting his people. hes respectable!!#GOD he doesnt even have that much screen time but i LOVE HIMMM n his silly lil shadow steed named Sunshine.. like cmon.... ugh.....#hes sweet n hes funny and he CAARES about the things hes in charge of on some levels. he certainly does his best to look after his own.#god idk what else to write here other than how much hes been on my MMMIND lately. the doctors are still running diagnostiscs#i just think hes so neat... also i think its funny that hes afraid o snakes. OH YKNOW lemme just talk abt my damn art. first o all this too#SSSOOO LONG. WEEKS EVEN.IVE BEEN WORKIN ON IT SINCE EP 5 WAS ON PATREON.it was sposed to be justa buncha doodles but then it Evolved#idk man...cowboys are just so cool...especially w VAMP POWERS..fastest shot in the west for a REASON BABY...n with the red smoke#n the glowing eyes..CMOn thats so cool i hadta get my visions into reality. the eyes were inspired by the music video for RATTLESNAKE (kglw#that where the IM THE SERPENT lines come from.lyrics from tha song.ooh yeah i love kglw so much...i also have other hidden messages here#i like to hide things...ALSO ALSO. I HAD SO MUCH TROUBLE W SO MUCH O THIS. the two bits with arthur n deacon biting eachother. AGONY#POSES ARE SO HHARRDDD SAME WITH THAT doodle o arthur slammin deacons head into the ground. WEEKS to get that pose RIGHT. I BLED SO MUCH#OHH AND GUNS???COWBOYHATS?? HIS GAY LIL JACKET? W THE DANGLIES?? AGOONYYY IT TOOK SO LONG TO PERFECT IT..especialy guns. OUUUHH#i also dont draw mustaches enough... which sucks bc im weak for a good mustache... BUT i think im doing pretty well on that.#it was hard but yknow what!! i think i did good! i rly like how this all turned out!! EXCEPT FOR THA FUCKIN RIBBON BOW THING I FORGOT TODRA#IN THE TOP RIGHT... THAT I JSUT NOTICED...its fine its fine i dont care that much. this is good enough to FEAST upon so im content n happy.#anyway i gotta leave ina few hours to start TRAINING for my NEW JOB!! CHEER FOR ME!! TRUCK IS A BLACKJACK DEALER NOW!! IEAAAHHH BABYYYY!!!!#thanku for reading my weird lil scrolls i bury beneath my posts. if u leave tags i WILL absorb them. and feel joy.
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nburkhardt · 10 months
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There’s something off about Steve and Dustin can’t place it.
Ever since they got back from the upside down, Steve seems more… not better but more, relaxed? Comfortable? He doesn’t know exactly, just something different.
It’s not like Dustin has never seen Steve relaxed, he’s been over at his house sitting next to his cat and listening to his mom explain how to make the perfect fettuccine dish. Steve is already comfortable around him to be bitchy to him, calling out Dustin’s shit immediately.
This? This is different.
Steve is on the grass laying down, arms behind his head and legs crossed. He looks like he could be asleep but Dustin watches as Steve shakes his foot and sees his mouth twitch at whatever Eddie’s whispering in his ear next to him. Robin laughing on Steve’s other side, her feet resting on Steve’s legs.
Dustin can tell there’s a difference between how Steve is acting now versus how Steve is normally relaxed.
Something is different and he needs to know what it is and how he can make sure his best friend big brother is always this… whatever it is. He deserves it.
“Are you trying to explode them? Isn’t that El’s thing?”
He startles and looks over at Nancy, she’s standing there with silent judgment; Dustin has seen that look on Mike many times, even if he knows both Wheel isn’t afraid to voice their judgment either.
Looking back at the trio, Robin now laying down with her head on Steve’s stomach and Eddie mirroring Steve.
“No,” he answers and looks back at Nancy to find her now looking curiously at the trio, “Just wondering what’s up with Steve”
Nancy snaps her attention back to him and opens her mouth before closing it again, looking at the trio; looking at Steve. “He’s comfortable-”
“Yeah I know that, I want to know what’s up with this other- whatever it is.” He snaps, crossing his arms, “that’s more- he’s been like this since we all got back.”
She nods, quickly looking over again before sitting next to him, “I think, he’s safe.”
“Of course he’s safe! We defeated Vecna!” He doesn’t snap, but it’s bitchy and Nancy rolls her eyes at him, before looking back at the trio.
“I mean, he feels safer now. As in, he’s not on guard all the time. He can lay there with his eyes closed, with no weapon or walkie within reach. He’s not only comfortable and safe, he’s- Steve’s happy” Nancy explains and looks at him, going to cross her arms before letting them fall again, “with the upside down behind us, all of us are okay and here- so Steve’s happy and safe”
It makes him blink, dropping his own arms before looking back at Steve. He’s got to be asleep now, with the way his foot isn’t moving now and how Eddie and Robin are also not moving.
“You’ve never actually seen him like this have you?”
He goes to nod, only to realize that, no; no he hasn’t.
Sure, Steve looked relaxed sitting on his couch but now that Dustin’s thinking about it, Steve was twitchy. That he had a leg bouncing and how he picked the one spot that has view of every part of the room. He knows that Steve keeps the nail bat in his car, that it goes inside with him at home and work.
And now that it’s in his head, Dustin can see all the ways Steve was and how Steve is now.
Steve is content and for the first time in years, he is safe.
~
Uh. This wasn’t supposed to go like this? I was going to make this a thing involving Eddie’s necklace but this came out instead 🤷‍♀️
for me there’s a major difference between content and comfortable. Like, you can be comfortable but still on the edge you know what I mean??? But when you’re content… it’s just better?? Idk what trying to say. ANYWAY!!! This is Dustin wanting Steve like this always and hoping to like bottle it up lol.
Also this takes place after spring break, they defeated Vecna. Like a few months after. It’s also pre-steddie, because of course it is.
Taglist (if you want to be added let me know!)
@spectrum-spectre @itsfreakingbats @mysticcrownshipper @artiststarme @thereindeerlady @justforthedead89 @ronniescontinuum @freyaforestafay @littlewildflowerkitten @estrellami-1 @gregre369 @zerokrox-blog @bookworm0690 @flustratedcas @carlprocastinator1000 @marvelmwah @solliesolesito @navnae @i-less-than-three-you @grimmfitzz @strangersteddierthings
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seiwas · 8 months
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This is a snippet from the complete fic here!
You don’t know how Kirishima does it, being all… him all the time.
A part of you always thinks you don’t deserve it—how he meets you with tender understanding when you can’t even muster a smile.
You should be dealing with this on your own.
By yourself.
Not with him having to stay home a while longer instead of starting his morning in the gym, where he can enjoy the rare time he has to himself.
You feel terrible.
“Sorry, it’s nothing, just—” you sigh, pressing your palms to your eyes. Your hands are still damp from washing the dishes.
Kirishima’s presence has always been hard to miss—big, bright, and entirely all-comforting. He crosses the kitchen island to get to you now, hand reaching for the back of your head as he pushes you gently towards his chest.
It’s that familiar presence that makes you feel like crying right now.
“Hey, hey,” he shushes, his other hand rubbing up and down your lower back, “it’s okay.”
He’d already gotten ready for the gym when he heard the clatter, rushing out to the kitchen with his protein shaker in one hand and gym bag over his shoulder. You’d toppled over the dish soap and groaned out in frustration, watching the liquid ooze down the drain along with every bit of your self-composure.
It was one of those things; one of those days—that feeling you’ve been having lately triggered by the simplest, most unrelated occurrence.
Kirishima doesn’t say anything, just lets his heartbeat do the talking. Steady, grounding, like a weighted blanket wrapped around the whole of you.
He’s not going to be able to squeeze in a gym session before work if he stays with you any longer like this.
“You should go soon,” you mumble, voice muffled against his chest, the dri-fit material of his muscle tank cool against your forehead.
“In a bit,” he whispers, only holding you closer.
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thinking about how as Aemond’s wife you are the model of perfection. 
Your back is straight as you curtsy when you first meet him and hair neatly braided with fine jewels. Your voice is even and never waivers as you speak to him of your family and how grateful they are for this union. 
You are intelligent and beautiful, the perfect wife. 
It’s why Aemond hardly ever spends time with you. 
He bears no ill will toward you, of course. There is no resentment or hatred to his lady wife, but there are no fond feelings either. 
He knows of courting and romance, his mother taught him everything from a young age. The poor woman would hold her son’s hands tight and explain that a man must not only respect his wife, but truly cherish her. Love her in the eyes of gods and men. As he grew older he noticed the way his father would wave off her constant advice and concerns until the dreaded night where she was the only one defending him after he lost his eye.
But practice was one thing. When you were nothing but a concept. A figment of Aemond’s imagination when he was ten and marriage was only spoken of during his lessons. Before he lost his eye. Before he heard the ladies of the court whispering about his mutilation and before he watched a whore flinch at the sight of his scarring when Aegon dragged him to a brothel on his thirteenth name day. 
He learned then that no matter how much he would love and worship his wife, it would not be returned. 
Rather than attempt to force it (he was no brute and had no intentions of doing something so cruel) he simply let you be by yourself. 
Yes you were married. You sat by one another at every meal and formal event and on the rare occasion he would even ask for your hand in a dance. But Aemond’s affections toward you were few and far to find. 
But there were moments. 
Where his icy facade would weaken and you found yourself able to slip through the cracks. 
Alicent had told you of his “moments” when the engagement had been announced. The queen herself taking you by the hand as you walked through the garden and explaining gently of Aemond’s condition. 
“There are times where he feels a great deal of pain because of the-” She paused, chewing on her cheek while trying to find the most inoffensive way to describe the tragedy that befell her son. “-incident he had as a child.” 
You knew enough of it. Many rumors flew through court the day Aemond targaryen walked in with a patch on his eye after Laenor Velaryan’s funeral at driftmark. Some day it was from a sparring incident, others say it was a mark he bore from the first time he mounted the mighty vhaegar. Others say that the Rouge Prince Daemon Targaryen himself gave it to his younger cousin after crude words were exchanged behind closed doors. 
You didn’t know what was the truth. Aside from the day the princeling got his scar, was the same he got his dragon.
A fair trade, some would say. 
But they didn’t live with the attacks he did. 
Nerve damage, is what the maester’s called it when you asked them for more information. His wound may have healed years prior but the prince would continue to live his life with constant bouts of mind-numbing pain brought on by the slightest touch or too sharp of a wind to his cheek. 
“Senseless fits.” Aegon called it. When he heard about your curiosity about his brother’s condition he had all but cornered you late at night in the hall. “Anything will set him off and send him throwing a tantrum like a belligerent child. It’s quite entertaining.” 
But there’s a moment where the elder brother frowns and you see a shred of concern in his eyes. 
“He doesn’t like to be touched during those moments. It makes the pain worse. So if you’re trying to find some way to comfort him I’d recommend you do something else.” 
What was ‘something else’ you learned, was simply being there. 
Sitting by his side when he curled into himself, trembling fingers reaching out to grab yours and not complaining when his nails dig into the palm of your hand as he cries out in pain. When his breath evens out and the pain subsides, he crawls to you and presses his face to the crook of your neck. He’s far too tired to cover the gnarled scar covering the side of his face but you show no fear or disgust at the sight of it. Your fingers run through his hair, gently combing back the silver tresses and ignoring the tears that stain the shoulder of your gown. 
The next morning your husband would wake in your arms and takes a moment to watch your peaceful expression and the way the morning sun kisses your skin. 
That day Alicent notices her son sits closer to you at breakfast, speaking softly to you of something she cannot understand. But when she sees his hand reach out and grasp yours, she smiles. 
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sideblogofthcentury · 2 years
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Steve had blacked out. All of his senses had dwindled to nothing but blind rage. He was lost in a sea of darkness, and all he could do was breathe. And with each breath he took, he began to return to himself, began filling in the missing puzzle pieces of what had just happened.
Steve breathed in and smelled the crisp cold air, shortly before snow or a cold rain, and Steve breathed out.
Steve breathed in and tasted the quickly souring aftertaste of the strawberry milkshake he’d shared with Robin, and Steve breathed out.
Steve breathed in and heard the high pitched ringing in his ears, the echoes of a spat “freak” reverberating in his head, and Steve breathed out.
Steve breathed in and felt the stinging of his knuckles, the weakness after a heavy exertion traveling up his arm, and Steve breathed out.
Steve breathed in and saw the beautiful angry red trickle down Jason Carver’s face, soaking the front of his white shirt, and Steve breathed out.
Ah. Steve was caught up now.
Jason’s eyes flashed with what Steve first mistook as anger. Steve breathed in and braced himself for another big drawn-out fight that would end with him unconscious.
And Steve breathed out and only then recognized that flash in Jason’s eyes as fear.
Steve smiled, a big toothy grin, and let himself chuckle at the broken little sound Jason made as he backed away.
“Don’t you ever. fucking let me see your face again, Jason. I will break it in two.”
And just like that, Steve saw Jason walk away.
Steve turned around to see Eddie, Robin, and Dustin standing in a semicircle, not a single closed mouth among them.
It was a long moment before anyone said anything, but it was Dustin who piped up first, with nothing but a simple “dude.”
Steve let Eddie drive the Beemer, Robin excitedly rambling instant replays as Dustin wrapped Steve’s hand in the backseat.
Dustin was dropped off first, with a “See you in the morning, badass.”
Robin was dropped off second, with a “Remind me not to piss you off.”
And then Steve moved to the front seat and stared at his hand, clenching and unclenching it, feeling the pain shoot up his wrist, the pressure of the bandage feeling good, like it was holding him together.
Eddie drove them to Steve’s empty house, neither boy breaking the silence that was so loud, the trilling guitar and shouted lyrics couldn’t even drown it out.
Eddie put the car in park in Steve’s driveway, staring ahead for a long moment before pivoting in his seat to look at Steve’s hand.
“Steve?”
“yeah?”
“You good?”
Steve breathed in.
Steve breathed out.
And Steve told the truth.
“No. Honestly, no. I can’t fucking stand it anymore, Eddie, I don’t know how you do it.”
Eddie knew what he was referring to. “You uh, get used to it?”
“No. I refuse.”
“Well damn Steve you can’t go punching the entire town. What will you do when the next person is an 80 year old woman? You gonna hit an old lady, Steve?”
“If she deserves it.”
Eddie shook his head and barked out a laugh that was definitely not a laugh. “So you’re really looking forward to that prison time, huh?”
“If I deserve it.”
Eddie threw his hands up into the air like the exasperated mother of an impossible child. “Steve!! you’re not getting it. It’s never going to stop. People are going to talk and say things and think whatever the fuck they want to think! And you can’t ever change their minds because they’re right. I don’t belong. I’m the freak.”
It lingered in the air again and for a moment Steve thought he was going to black out again.
Steve breathed in.
Steve breathed out.
“No.”
Eddie gaped at him. “Steve-
“No. Goddamn fucking no, Eddie. There is nothing wrong with you. No. Not a thing. You care about people, and you’re kind, and you’re smart and funny and they’re… they’re-“ Steve sputtered, unable to come up with a word deserving of association with them, finally settling for a disgusted face and a sigh.
“People don’t like you because you don’t check their boxes. You don’t, and you don’t care to, and they don’t like that. It makes them think. Every time they see you they’re forced to think; to wonder why they work so hard to fit in when you seem so defiantly happy refusing. People don’t understand, and it scares them. People don’t like what they can’t understand. And you’re so boldly you, you’re-“
Steve breathed in.
Steve breathed out.
“You’re terrifying.”
Part Two
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ganondoodle · 10 months
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i often really do feel like an .. unwanted part of the fandom, i dont draw beautiful landscapes, i have unpopular but strong opinions im constantly annoying about and rarely change, dont like/dont draw the pretty young popular twinks and hot gurls to fanboi over nor do i turn characters into one, the opposite moreso, draw only one ship no ones heard of really, got little energy to interact with the few people that are nice to me and send me asks so it probably looks like im ignoring everyone and unfortunately but still rarely get so stressed i get overwhelmed and emotional about pehaps seemingly minor things and spiral almost into a breakdown feeling super embarrassed about it afterwards but the damage is already done and i look like a freak or agressive weirdo
#ganondoodles talks#also probably sounds like self pity#but this feeling hits everytime i see a super popular artist be the popular cool artist#i am a little weird i know that and thats not somethign bad i think#but the internet never gets to see that much of me#i tend to write posts when i am at my worst bc it has to go somewhere#so the image it tells people is that im a weirdly strong opiniod freak that gets breakdowns over nothing#i also dont feel like im otherwise -cool tm- enough to balance that out#i dont think my art is as stylized or as inventive as others nor am i cool to interact with bc idk how to be cool to interact with#i feel double bad when i misstepped with someone i used to talk to bc of something stupid ... or just dont know what i did wrong#im guessing its especially when i am in that spiraling state of mind where i really am not myself tbh#it still feels very bad bc i feel like i can never make it up to anyone again#sorry i acted like a jerk my brain was exploding in emotions in a desperate attempt to deal with something idk how to deal with-#-and made me not act like myself but now i feel really dumb about it#doesnt sound like a good excuse#... i want to thank those that do stick with me#even if i acted strange sometimes- even if i disappointed sometimes- even when i couldnt keep a promise#there are little things that still make me angry at myself#like that one time i asked in the tags whod read as long as the end of them and if someone did shoudl send me an ask so id draw a lil thing#and i got two#and i kept trying to remeber oh shit i need to do that and forgetting again/not having energy for it in a loop#i still feel like a jerk about it but now its probably too late#i wish i could answer all asks i get but man my energy for that is always rock bottom#no matter how much i enjoy the ask#and i love getting asks!!!#im sorry :((
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maenjiro · 9 months
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cookiE and cream 𖦹 headcanons
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ft. wakasa x afab!reader
synop + cw: wakasa and his oral fixation aka pussy drunk wakasa is the best wakasa. oral (reader receiving) and everything that may come with that
a/n: hmu if this is any good
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old news but this man has THE oral fixation
so he dives in, he takes without asking. anywhere, anytime no matter what.
the gym, mostly the changing rooms otherwise he knows his friend would give him shit for it also he really is trying to be more mindful of other people but again, he has no shame when he's hungry
his house, your house, any place you can have some alone time
he makes you wet with all the shit he’s saying about eating you out
might not even be something extremely dirty but he’s so straight forward he can make you pretty flustered.
gets all frantic when he needs his mouth on you but you're wasting time talking
might pin you against the wall and just get on his knees
lift one of your legs on his shoulder to have more access, closes his eyes and the first moan he lets out is pure bliss
your legs shaking will never be enough for him to stop
or on the bed when he's on top of you, this bitch would lower his head down to kiss you and stop abruptly smirking “whoops, wrong lips”
next thing you know he has your legs on his shoulder and is worshipping your cunt
the rare times he's not in a frenzy to have his tongue make circular motion between your folds he will spread them with his fingers and smile at the sight
low breathy moan against your pussy
moves his tongue like he's starving, he is pussy drunk and he shows it
makes sure his tongue is keeping you all wet and hot
he's messy yet very precise, he knows where to lick and how much pressure will make you see stars
also will prod at your hole with his thumb and keep teasing you around your entrance with feathery touch that will make you clench around nothing (the bastard will smirk against you)
soo i bet he has some tooth rotting nicknames for you and i swear i know he would non ironically call you oreo... and you would tell him to stop calling you that
and he looks at you almost offended “not when i have your legs spread open for me and i’m about to lick your cr-” either you cover your face with the pillow or push his head against your core
endless cycle of him sucking on your clit and poking it with his tongue
overstimulates you and he doesn't even do that on purpose he just loses tracks of time (will make you cum at least three times i'm sorry but i don't make the rules, he does)
you can't even pull away cause his grip on your legs is tight, holding onto your thighs for dear life not to spiral
i wouldn't be surprised if he ended up falling asleep between your thighs
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tennessoui · 1 year
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au where jedi healers take a vow not unlike jedi temple guards, but instead of wearing a mask and becoming anonymous, they give up their sight and wear blindfolds to allow the Force to guide their every action. it’s also supposed to blind them to their patients’ differences, which used to be symbolic but since the war between the jedi and the sith broke out, has become much less so
because jedi healers are supposed to heal regardless of if their patient is a jedi or a sith, when they’re deployed on battlefields after the fighting is over, they use the Force to heal every injured person they come upon.
anakin skywalker, who was chosen from the creche and agreed to follow the Healing path at the age of 9, thinks it’s sort of stupid that they have to wait until after the fighting is over to begin to help because he can feel people dying in the Force, he can feel their pain--
young general kenobi, who remembers his old creche-mate anakin skywalker and how blue his eyes once were, thinks it’s beyond foolhardy that this healer is stealing out across an active battlefield, blindfold over his eyes and bending down to heal karking darth maul and single-handedly diverting all of obi-wan’s attention away from the droids and sith legion because now he has to make sure he’s ok he can’t just leave him to the whims of the Force, he’s unprotected and he’s going to get himself killed----
it’s a headache and a half for everyone involved because general kenobi keeps abandoning his battle strategy and sometimes even position to ensure healer skywalker’s safety and healer skywalker keeps dropping everything and everyone the moment he feels obi-wan kenobi get hurt in the Force to rush to his side, Force Vow of Healing Equality be damned.
but......the Council keeps deploying them to the same battlefield because healer skywalker is never more effective as when he knows he must heal fifty mortal wounds before he can rid general kenobi of a headache, and general kenobi is never as ruthless as when skywalker is on the field close to him, in potential harm’s way
despite how much they insist they hate each other 
#kit's silly lil aus#obikin#healer anakin au#writing this out i thought of like five thousand scenes i'd want for this#a scene where obi-wan is pissed at anakin because he keeps fucking fixing one of the sith#so he's not letting anakin heal him and refusing to see one of the clone medics#so they're in his tent and he's just holding a compress to his head wound and bitching at anakin who is bitching back at him#and obi-wan is like 'at least you don't heal DROIDS' very scathing#and anakin goes quiet and is like 'i used to want to be an engineer did you know that?'#and obi-wan is like 'force when we were kids i knew everything about you. crush the size of a senator's ego'#oh and another scene where a sith (lbr maul) attacks anakin and obi-wan gets in the way#and takes the blade for him and anakin kills him rather violently#because i dont like healer anakin aus that take the violence and teeth out of anakin skywalker#so he snaps and breaks his vows to kill maul and eliminate the threat so he can heal obi-wan#and probably the council had encouraged him to become a healer because they could see his capacity for violence and fear and hate#but they couldn't see his attachment to obi-wan#but then not even obi-wan could see that#and a scene after that where obi-wan wakes up in his tent and the first thing he sees is anakin's blue eyes#because anakin broke all his vows to protect and obi-wan and killed many many people to keep them away (in a very feral way)#so what's one more#and obi-wan's first thought is that he missed those eyes#everything else and their consequences can wait#oh also mostly in it for the blindfold sex before this#absolutely here for the blindfold sex#same age aus also my beloved
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excuse me i need to Muse on something for a moment
so in Wally's secret 'vinyl' audios, specifically the last few (if we're listening to em in chronological order), obviously he starts to sound more strained/distressed. his breathing is more labored, like it's taking all of his energy to make contact.
but the audio that really caught my attention was the "But i still can't see" one. cause he just said he has more eyes than he did before. he knows We draw them a lot, and it's thanks to that that he can see. but he still can't see?
so my question is: where is Wally physically? cause although he can (assumedly) see the WHRP goings on, he can see through the eyes We draw, that could all be on a, uh... more Intangible level of sight. like the spiral pit is forming an eye, and then there's the eye on the ceiling in the secret Staff Only section - could Wally be in the pit, that space between his reality and Ours, "watching" through the eyes? but unable to actually see with due to the pit being pitch black nothingness? is he somewhere else? is he stuck? he can see, but he can't... see.
(or is he trying to explain an abstract concept - he's not actually viewing anything, but he can sense it. like how he knows We're there, even if he can't see or hear Us. but he just doesn't have the words to describe it other than using physical senses - see, hear, look.)
and him saying "...that I can see. But it is still... I can't..." but it's still what, Wally? dark? something else that he doesn't have the words to describe, so he just says that he can't see?
i know that in the Livestream Trivia Document (compiled by @/the neighborhoodwatch) there was something said about Wally being in a box. my first thought reading that was "oh, so he's in storage? the physical puppet, i mean?" which would make sense - show's over, there's no more use for him. pack 'em up and put him away. but that paired with the "can't see" audio makes both seem a lil... connected.
Wally can't see > he's likely somewhere dark > the inside of closed boxes are dark > Wally's in a box. (or maybe the Neighborhood is the box? it's a stretch, i know, but the map is a box. television sets are often set up in "boxes". maybe it's less of a physical storage box and more of a 'boxed in' sort of thing...)
one question i've had since the Start of my interest in this incredible project is: how is Wally communicating? how has he connected to the site? how does he connect to our reality? the pit almost definitely has something to do with it - most likely acting as a bridge, or the deteriorating of the barrier between our two 'worlds' - but if Wally is in a box and Not the pit or even just in the puppet's reality... how is he reaching us beyond just seeing through the eyes he's given?
or is he in their reality, and he can contact through the pit or something, but he can't actually see the other side? Our side? he knows it's there - that We're there - but none of it is visible to him. maybe his apparent disassociation in the 14 bug audios is a demonstration of him contacting Us. we can see through him, but it's a one way street.
and speaking of the pit - i just had a thought. his whole thing with Us letting him in, opening... the pit on the neighborhood map is getting bigger and clearer. but the presumed Other Side, the one on the Staff Only ceiling, is small. it's the size of a ceiling panel. it seems to me that Wally is chipping away at his side of the pit or 'portal', trying to reach Our reality, but he needs Us to do the same thing on the other side. the QA can hear him calling, but there's no phone on their (Our) side of the pit. how do We call back???
there's a fundamental barrier & lack of understanding between Wally and the QA/Us. he's trying. he wants to be let in, but what does that mean, really? let him in where? open what? he's desperate. he wants us to understand. he's trying so so hard Without the right tools to clearly communicate what he wants. he can't see Us, We can see him, both know the other is there, but there's no way to connect. and the attempts are hurting all parties involved, however unintentionally
#and its very ah. Autistic/Neurodivergent Horror i think?#the Wanting To Explain but Being Unable To because the people you're trying to communicate with#function differently than you. they don't understand. they Can't understand. their brains are wired differently.#no matter how hard you try there will never be understanding. your attempts to connect are somehow Incorrect.#and often - in my experiences at least - being that Different gets you hurt. people perceive your actions/behavior as a slight.#or as intentionally malicious! and then they get mad and you just.. dont get Why? you didn't Want to hurt anyone. you wanted to Explain.#you wanted someone to look at you and Understand. say 'oh. i see you! i get it now!' and have that Connection.#but you will never be understood. never Seen nor Heard. left in the dark. you're accidentally hurting them. they're hurting you.#it takes all of your strength to try to reach them and yet you still. fall. short. because they don't reach back.#anyway ive had these thoughts simmering for a lil while#Knowing whether or not the bug audios are present day or not would cross some theories off and write up new ones i think#that confirmation seems Important imo....#homebogging#welcome home speculation#welcome home theory#then of course there's the question of how Home fits into all of this... in the early days i was a 'home is evil' believer but now??#nah. home's not outright Evil i think. there's something complicated going on between them and wally and its role in all of this#im just... unsure of what. i think confirmation of whether his morse code says 'help me' or 'hello' would massively help clear up the sitch#is home an accomplice? a victim? a perpetrator? a secret fourth option? who's to say (yet)#i have many Thoughts about it based on a couple different things - the distorted voice under wallys. the waLLy guestbook entry. etc#but this post has gotten long enough and its Not on that particular subject#*grips the bug audios & home's morse code* you two motherfuckers would clear so much up i stg-#the bug audio's timeline placement could tell us whether or not wally is with his neighbors or if the neighborhood is intact (in some way!)#home's morse code would give Major insight into their place in all of this!!!#AGH THIS FUCKING PROJECT MAKES ME INSANE. IT'S SO GODDAMN GOOD WHO AUTHORIZED THIS-#as always take my words with a Hefty grain of salt & i hope it's coherent!#anyway there's nothing more dangerous & all-consuming than the need/desire to be understood <3
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willowser · 1 year
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katsuki jumps, startlingly, when you rub a hand up his back.
he's leaned too far down, bent over the counter at an angle that will give him an ache he'll complain about later, and his head whips up as you come to stand beside him. an e-mail on his phone is what previously had his full attention, but now he looks at you, eyes softening as you lean into his shoulder.
he's never been a very touchy guy. even after a year into your relationship, it's most often you reaching for his hand as you walk down the street; you pressing a kiss into his cheek while watching a movie on the couch; you running a hand through his hair as his breath steadies out beside you in bed.
it's not something you really complain about. you know how he is, knew before anything developed between the two of you, and you can't say it's a deal-breaker. there's little you know about his previous relationships or if he even had any, but you have the painful-gut feeling that affection just isn't something he's used to.
you press a smile into the sleeve of his shirt and his spine relaxes under your hand, finds that awful curve again. he watches you like he's waiting for something, tracing the tender details of your face.
"love you," you say, because do and you want to voice it aloud, put it into his mind even though you know he knows. as expected, his lips flatten into a wavering little line, shy suddenly, and your teeth wet the fabric of his shirt when you smile.
all you get is a little grunt in response and he dips his chin down in a wordless nod, accepting your lovey-dovey assault. it makes him feel a little helpless, you know, but you bring up an arm to wrap around him as he turns back to his phone, ears pink.
katsuki straightens with a dull pop!, stretching his arms up and allowing you to shuffle closer, so that your head is resting on his chest. you press your ear to it and wait, eyes closed, until the heavy promise of his heartbeat echoes like a drum in your ear. it's loud, and after a moment, your own falls into sync, right where it belongs.
"'s'wrong?"
"hm?" you glance up at him, the frown on his pink face, before breathing in the clean scent of his laundry soap. your laundry soap. and then you shake your head. "nothin'. just missed you."
"been home all day."
"i know," you sigh, letting your eyes fall shut again. the sound of his phone locking clicks and you can feel the slight down-slide of his sweatpants when he pockets it. "sometimes i miss you even though you're right here."
you expect — something; another grunt or laugh through his nose, a raspy little noise that voices his confusion. things like this can be hard for him; you know how he is, knew before anything ever developed between the two of you — but you don't think it makes him any less deserving.
katsuki steps back from you a little, and you feel the hesitant rise of his arm before you feel it. his hand comes up to your face — pink and scarred in your peripheral vision — and he tilts your head up, waits until you open your eyes.
when you do, it looks as if a million things are running through his head. his poker-face is good, it has to be, but you can see little bits of his vulnerability shining through. you wonder how long it's been since he showed it to anybody. he almost looks sad.
katsuki squeezes your cheeks until your lips pucker, and his frown deepens when you laugh. "y're so...damn weird."
that's along the lines of what you were anticipating: one of his teasing little insults, warm with a fire he's still learning how to kindle. you don't get the chance to say anything before he's kissing you, eyes shut tight, lashes brushing against your own.
you expect something soft, because affection is a fickle thing, from him — but his hand never falls from your face and his tongue is sliding with yours suddenly, a heated gesture that throws your heart out of whack. you let him kiss you as deeply as he can, until your back arches painfully backward over the counter as he leans into you.
when he pulls away, his lips are a little swollen and his cheeks are burning, as he presses one into yours. "i—jus'—" katsuki tries and then abandons it, a hand curling into the material of your shirt. "i get it." he murmurs, there, into the heated skin of your face, heart beating in time with yours.
things like this are hard with him — but he makes them so, so worth it.
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sunshine--void · 11 months
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Listenn, if you'd write Neighbour being comforted by Wally in the time when their best friend had betrayed them in a way that ruins the friendship all together, that would be SO dear to me. People suck and i need the little yellow man rn
Oh I'm so sorry :( I hope this makes you feel at least a bit better!
🏠 Wally cheering you up after a friend betrayed you 🏠
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You had just gotten off the phone with a now ex friend
After the conversation the two of you just had it was safe to say that you definitely wouldn't be talking to each other anymore
After a second your brain finally seemed to register everything that just happened, and as you looked down you realized your phone screen was now covered in tears
Before you could get up to calm yourself down one of your neighbors knocked on the door
You Immediately started panicking, you didn't want any of your neighbors to see you like this
"Neighbor are you there?" A familiar voice rang out
"Definitely wally... I suppose he's not the worst person that could have shown up" you thought to yourself So you took a deep breath and wiped the tears off your face
And you slowly walked towards the door and opened it
"Hello neighb-" he stopped mid sentence when he saw your crying face
"Neighbor?" You were immediately embarrassed,
"It's uhm, it's a long story" You replied hoping he would just move past it
But instead he took your hands in his and replied with "well I have plenty of time"
As he led you to your couch he immediately started asking questions
And you replied to all of them, happy to have someone to vent too
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The entire time he was rubbing his hand up and down your arm
And wiping away all your tears for you
When your finally done venting he will sit there and continue comforting you
He's small so he'll sit in your lap and let you cuddle him
Afterwards he'll bring you painting with him
Losing a friend sucks but he'll do anything and everything in his power to help you <3
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batsplat · 7 days
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wait, is there a dovi/jorge feud???? i didn't know this!! also thank you so much for all you do for this community ❤️
not the only ask I've gotten about this and... look, rather than doing a proper write up that would take forever, I'm just gonna give my top ten fun... facts? bits of trivia. tidbits related to the two of them. quite long tidbits, on second glance. the highlight reel, if you will
(1) that time andrea dovizioso made 14 year old jorge lorenzo cry
the two of them already raced each other before the start of their grand prix careers, competing for the first time in 2001 in the cev when dovi was around 15 and jorge around 14. in riveras tobia's biography, here's jorge talking about their first fight:
I led the way at the start and Dovizioso and I escaped. It was our first head-to-head encounter, the first time we raced each other. My dad had heard that Dovi was a really clever rider and he warned me before the race. But just like in 1998 at Jerez, with Olive, I acted like a dummy and pushed for the whole race. I kept looking behind me to see the bastard still there! It was impossible to shake him off, he was watching me the whole race until the last lap. Three comers from the end I could hear his engine getting closer and I saw his shadow to my left, but he didn't come past. I thought to myself "This guy is going to try something in a second!" I decided I had to on a tighter line and close the door. Sure enough, Dovi went wider through that comer and then dived up the inside. I didn't close the door in time and tried to get in his slipstream, desperately hoping I could get him the next corner, but I ran wide and he won. I came back in tears, I didn't even want to go to the podium, I felt so cheated. I'd been on the limit for the whole race and I felt like I deserved the win more than he did.
so that's a nice and positive start! there's something charming about how even fifteen year old dovi was an absolute menace on last laps
also about that race:
'Jorge beat Dovi in Braga but in the previous race at Most, what a tantrum!' recalls Juanito, laughing. 'He didn't even want to go to the podium, he was crying like a baby! I can still see Dani (Antatriain) talking to him, trying to convince him. In the end he went but he didn't want to look at anybody.'
(2) the photo finish
in 2004, they were rivals in 125cc - a year in which dovi claimed the title and jorge was p4 in the standings. in the very first grand prix ever at the lusail circuit (pretty eventful weekend, you have to say), jorge and dovi crossed the line at the exact same moment
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(3) dovi's top three favourite career win
dovi and jorge progressed through the categories at the exact same rate, and after their 125cc rivalry they continued fighting in 250cc. they were title rivals in both 2006 and 2007, with jorge's aprilia winning out both times against dovi's underpowered honda. (the general pattern was that dovi clawed back a bunch of points from jorge in the wet - jorge, with perhaps the exception of a few years in the premier class until around 2013, has never been much of a wet weather racers, while it's always been one of dovi's strongest traits.) for dovi's 300th career start in 2019, he was asked what his top three wins were - and one of his picks was from way back when in 2007
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I'd recommend the race! which... well, I did in the race rec post - and I can only reiterate that these two kids do not acknowledge each other, not good vibes at all
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(4) jorge's thoughts on young dovi from 2008
Jorge has a lot of respect for Andrea Dovizioso and feels that his two 250cc world titles have even more prestige because he had to beat the Italian to win them. 'You wouldn't label Dovizioso as fast, particularly, but he's much faster than he looks. He doesn't set many pole positions but he is always up front in a race, fighting to win. He is very intelligent and you can't trust him an inch on the last lap. He has been faithful to Honda, he has great belief in them. His negative side is that he tends to play the victim too much. He'll say that if his bike had a better engine or if it was a bit faster he would win. He's even said that if he was on the same bike as me he'd give me a hiding. I think he looks for excuses too often sometimes, but as a rider and a person I don't have a bad word to say about him.'
some dovi traits read as very familiar, from how he's a better racer than qualifier to the intelligence to the last lap prowess. as for jorge saying dovi plays victim too much? well
also this:
ER: Don't you think that Dovizioso wanted to be World Champion too in 2006 and 2007? Don't you think he gave everything to achieve it? JL: He will think he gave his maximum but he will be lying to himself because nobody does that. Nobody gets close to their maximum, not even me. He will think that he didn't win because he was riding a Honda. There are very few sportsmen who will say, I deserve what happened to me and there are no excuses. I didn't know how to do any better and I've done things wrong.' That is the only way to be the best, the only way. People who make excuses don't get to the top. I know riders who haven't made it for just that reason.
plus ça change
(5) jorge's thoughts on young dovi from 2018
when they were doing their thing as ducati teammates (bickering), here is one of the things jorge said about dovi:
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dovi's been trying to undermine jorge's morale his WHOLE career... even when they were but teenagers... love it when you can really tell someone's been sitting on something for over a decade
(6) "also lorenzo is not my friend"
both of them moved up to motogp in 2008, jorge with factory yamaha and dovi with satellite honda. dovi had a very strong rookie season and finished in p5, only sixteen points behind jorge in p4 (who after a promising first few races had spent a lot of time that season crashing). after that, their fortunes diverged. dovi did not have a particularly happy time in the factory honda team and needed to do some shrewd negotiating to be retained by them for 2011 in that three-man squad, while jorge of course won the championship in 2010
here's a deep cut from 2011, a season where much of the excitement and drama was caused by marco simoncelli alone. jorge had exchanged tense words with sic in estoril, one race before simoncelli was responsible for a crash where dani broke his collarbone. the crash and sic's subsequent penalty meant that the three-way fight between jorge, dovi and valentino became one for the podium, with dovi and valentino eventually grabbing the two remaining spots behind casey. but during the race, jorge had executed a... questionable manoeuvre on dovi, one that did have some similarities to the sic/dani incident. given jorge's strong previous comments on racing standards, unsurprisingly the journalists pounced on this incident in the post-race presser and ask the podium sitters about it. here is the clip:
in this clip, dovi essentially says it was a dangerous move from jorge, but he wasn't sure what jorge's intent had been and he needs to watch the footage again. valentino (who had been the most outspokenly critical of sic of the three of them earlier in the presser) takes the opportunity presented to him to have a bit of a potshot at jorge. he says that dovi doesn't have the best relationship with sic but jorge had done something pretty similar in the race... at which point dovi goes "also lorenzo is not my friend"
which, you know. not exactly a major incident, but I find it very charming dovi felt the need to clarify that, actually, he doesn't like either of them. valentino also adds that by jorge's own standards, surely he too should have gotten a penalty. not exactly a meeting of jorge's biggest fans hm
(7) mapping eight-gate
well I can't leave it out, can I
so in 2017 jorge switches from yamaha to ducati and does not have a great time of it. a lot of weekends, he's just too slow, other times he shoots to the front of a race at the start (typically not great news for the rest of the field in his yamaha days) and then chews up his tyres before gradually dropping like a stone back through the field. at some point that year it became a bit of a running gag - especially when you saw he was the only big name to be picking a soft tyre and just went... buddy we ALL know how this is gonna end....
while this was happening, his teammate dovi was for the first time in his premier class career in championship contention. an extremely close title fight throughout the year with five protagonists until pretty late in the season, it eventually went to a title decider in valencia between dovi and marc. you know, the kind of year where every point counts. the race where marc put a bit of daylight between himself and dovi was phillip island, with marc winning a great dogfight out front while dovi had a bit of a horror show of a weekend. this meant that a lot would have to go right for dovi to have a chance of still winning the title... and sepang was already a match point race for marc
ducati had not won a championship since their 2007 title, courtesy of one casey stoner. after that year, their bike became steadily less competitive every season, reaching a nadir around the 2011-13-ish period. so by the time 2017 rolled around, they wanted this so so badly - even if they wouldn't have expected dovi to lead the charge. dovi had only narrowly beaten out iannone in the 'who's going to be fired for our shiny new lorenzo hire' contest of 2016, and really it was supposed to be jorge who was carrying ducati's dreams on his shoulders. but, never mind, they were throwing everything behind dovi now... no stone left unturned
which brings us, of course, to the subject of team orders. this discourse really took off at the penultimate race of the season at sepang, but was already brewing before that - and in phillip island, satellite ducati rider redding had been told early in the race to let dovi past
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here from marc at sepang:
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dovi had been in great form all weekend at sepang - and with his wet weather prowess being what it was, really there shouldn't have been any need for team orders at all. but he got a sluggish start, and the race unfolded from there... until eventually jorge was in first, dovi was in second and marc in fourth. in those positions, marc would have clinched the title there
and then, jorge got a message on his dashboard. suggested mapping: mapping 8. pit boards and dashboards and all sorts of boards will feature various codes during races, most of them completely innocuous - but of course they are a healthy source of all sorts of conspiracies. the timing of this one was certainly... notable, and speculation immediately started about how it might be a way of telling jorge that he should swap positions with dovi
jorge didn't end up letting dovi pass - it is questionable whether he really would have done so with what would have been his first ducati win on the line. in the end, he made a mistake that let dovi through so that dovi claimed the win anyway, keeping himself in mathematical contention in valencia. and jorge did say afterwards he was keeping dovi's title hopes in mind, kind of
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jorge also said he hadn't gotten any message indicating team orders, and of course nobody at ducati confirmed that mapping eight did have anything to do with team orders
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for what it's worth, this is what dovi said about their relationship at this stage:
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lovely! let's see what the vibes are like a few months later
anyway, onto valencia. this race was pretty boring despite being a title decider, but the jorge/dovi bits were just unequivocally the weekend's most enjoyable aspect and rather nicely spiced up the whole thing. dovi's chances were always slim going in, given he'd have to win the race and marc would have to barely get any points at all... but still, you never know, right? marc could always crash (narrator: he did almost crash). jorge plays coy early in the weekend about the whole 'helping dovi out thing', and basically just started putting in place...? ... very specific conditions...? under which he'd help:
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so during the actual race, dovi got stuck behind jorge in p5, with marc ahead of both of them. valencia is traditionally not a fantastic track to overtake at... so even if dovi had been faster, it's not like he'd have an easy time clearing jorge and cracking on. but they were beginning to drift further away from dani in p3 as ducati watched on, increasingly unamused by what was happening - and the tv cameras were of course kind enough to repeatedly show the ducati box looking deeply unamused. again, they went for the good old mapping eight message, which, hey, that could mean anything! they sure did keep showing it to jorge though, almost like he wasn't paying attention to it
eventually, they abandon all subtlety and go for a pit board message that does just straight-up tell jorge to swap positions. jorge kept ignoring the messages, lap after lap, and he never ended up letting dovi past. eventually they both crashed and marc claimed the title with a p3 finish, so it wouldn't have mattered anyway, but... still. the feeling was that this might things rather awkward inside of ducati
publicly, ducati was extremely keen to smooth over the whole controversy, saying they totally weren't mad at jorge blatantly ignoring team orders. jorge had, after all, explained to them (and the media, repeatedly) that he had totally been intending to help dovi by dragging him closer to dani
Giving his take on events, Lorenzo acknowledged that he ignored Ducati’s instruction because he felt Dovizioso’s chances would be boosted by having him directly ahead. “Even looking at this [dashboard] suggestion, I keep pushing until the end, because I knew it was the best thing for me, for Ducati and for Dovi,” said Lorenzo. “I helped him to improve his pace by one or two tenths, to be as close as possible to the first group. My intention was, and it was the case, that we arrive at the first group. If he had the option to win, I would have gone wide and let him pass. But unfortunately it was not like that. Maybe in some corners Dovi was close and I slow down a little bit his pace, but in general terms, having my wheel in front of him made him improve slightly his pace. I helped him stayed closer to the front group. “I knew Dovi was struggling, I knew his pace during all the weekend, and I knew he was making the best pace of the weekend just in the race. It was [because of the] help from my wheel. I’m happy because I was not wrong. If I was wrong and slowing him, I would be very sorry. But it’s not like that, my feeling was true.”
which, you know. is it really that easy to tell how much faster you are than someone who's sitting on your rear tyre? who's to say. dovi did certainly seem rather keen to get past
anyhow, of course there were plenty of fun dramatics post-race:
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'our rider ignored team suggestions not team orders' is a great line, fairs. there's plenty more of this from ducati, some excellent spin doctoring - and dovi was extremely magnanimous about what had happened:
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the whole thing was pretty undignified from all non-dovi parties, but it was also very funny so who's to say if it was bad or not
(8) runner-up-gate
let's check in on them in 2018, the second and ultimately last year in which they were teammates. remember that 'undermining morale' quote from above? those are from early 2018, after dovi says he wouldn't be surprised to see jorge elsewhere the following season. so, once jorge has complained that dovi had been trying to put him down his entire career, comes this:
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so that's something. jorge, dovi and dani have a three-in-one crash in jerez, after which some fingers are pointed but it all remains fairly civil, and a bit later dovi says that jorge's approach doesn't work at ducati:
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by the summer break, jorge's results had gotten better, but it was already too late to save the relationship with ducati and they parted ways. anyway, here's dovi and jorge having another go at it:
And while a rough patch for Dovizioso coupled with breakthrough back-to-back wins for Lorenzo in Mugello and Barcelona have now left the pair just three points apart in the standings, Dovizioso refused to back down from his claim when speaking to Spanish sports daily Marca ahead of the upcoming Brno race. “He’s won two races,” Dovizioso said. “Winning two races does not solve the problem of a year and a half. Lorenzo was not signed to win two races. Therefore I do not change my mind.” When the comments were put to Lorenzo, the three-time champion offered an ardent retort, stating that Dovizioso's rhetoric was proof of the claim he'd made back in April. “I'm a bit fed up with this situation, mainly because when I had trouble and he was winning, I was down there applauding,” Lorenzo told Spanish broadcaster Movistar. “What I said in Argentina - and the comments caused a big surprise - you can see that I was right. “He tried to undermine me, or downplay what I achieve or just attack me. As you can see, I wasn't lying. He's still doing it and now he says my method is not good, according to him.” Lorenzo intimated that Dovizioso was in no position to criticise him, as the Italian could do no better than runner-up to Marc Marquez in a 'perfect' 2017 season. He said: “I think my method has not worked too bad in my career. I've won three MotoGP titles and have 46 wins.” “In my second year in Ducati I'm usually faster than him, but maybe I should look at his method closer if in his best season, with everything going perfectly, he was second. Otherwise he's fourth or seventh usually. I'd tell him to leave me to go my way and to focus on his own and everything will be better, because when you have an angry Lorenzo it's usually worse for you.” 
fair to say that by this point the pretence at civility has mostly been dropped. I'm rather fond of the "lorenzo was not signed to win two races" line, though "when you have an angry lorenzo it's usually worse for you" is also really strong stuff. dovi tries to restore a little bit of peace:
Responding in turn to Lorenzo's tirade, Dovizioso sought to play down the conflict. “Jorge has his ideas and I think they are based on particular things. I don't think like him, but it's not a problem,” he told Movistar. “Everybody creates their own ideas based on what they see and how they live. “I don't think he has everything clear in his head about what's happened, but we continue the relationship that we started last year with respect, there's no particular problem. If he thinks this way, that's his problem."
so basically the classic 'idk what he's on about but it's not my problem' approach to attempting to defuse feuds
(9) twitter-gate
there's a few more on-track battles where it's nicely obvious how badly they want to beat each other, with jorge beating marc just ahead of dovi in austria and then dovi beating jorge in brno. jorge's season is increasingly derailed by injuries, which sets the stage for their next big spat:
The row was sparked by Dovizioso's comments to Sky Italia after qualifying at Sepang on Saturday, as he was asked what he thought of Lorenzo having to pull out of the Malaysian GP weekend with injury. "I don't know the details, I don't want to get into this, it's a bit of a strange situation," said Dovizioso."It happens often in Ducati or to certain riders, but I don't understand the details and I don't want to get into it and give my opinion." When it was put to him he was offering 'cryptic words', he added: "I leave things there, it's not my problem."
pretty vague, yeah. but anyway, I'm sure jorge had a proportionate response to this
Dovizioso's comments prompted a series of irate posts from Lorenzo on Twitter, with his first reaction being "Thank you very much @AndreaDovizioso! You are a real gentleman!". In his next post, he went on to call Dovizioso "an exemplary teammate", adding: "You applaud him under the podium when he wins and then... (That's right, he does not give his opinion, it's not his problem)." After that, Lorenzo labelled Dovizioso "envious" and described him as "a world champion... in 125cc."
the podium thing really bothered him, don't you think. their ducati in-fighting follows that general pattern where dovi says something... a little shady, a little ambiguous, where his intentions aren't entirely obvious... at which point jorge goes all in at fighting back and has a go at dovi - often not as much for what dovi is actually saying, but what jorge thinks dovi is implying. which is based on his understanding of dovi, the image of dovi he's built up in his head over the years, so that he is... predisposed to think ill of the intentions of the 'intelligent' dovi who always knows exactly what he's saying
again, dovi tried to downplay the argument, while simultaneously not exhibiting much patience for jorge's stance:
After the Malaysian GP, Dovizioso was asked about Lorenzo's responses to his comments, and the Italian accused his teammate of reading too much into headlines. He said: “Why should I talk to Lorenzo? I do not waste time on these things. He makes the usual mistake of giving too much importance to what is written, even without the context. "I have not pointed my finger at anyone and I have no problem with Jorge."
if I were ducati, I probably would've let the whole thing blow over given jorge was off soon anyway. but they decided the whole thing was so bad they had to organise a peace summit
Asked about the situation, Ducati sporting director Paolo Ciabatti admitted to Motorsport.com that the Bologna marque has already planned to sit its two riders on Tuesday in Milan to make it clear what its priorities are. Ciabatti said: “It is clear that the interests of Ducati come before personal problems between riders. On Tuesday we will be together in Milan, for the EICMA [motorcycle show] and we have in mind to spend half an hour to sit and talk to Jorge and Andrea. "We want to avoid similar things to what happened last weekend. "I understand that these kinds of situations can happen. Sometimes riders get nervous during a Grand Prix weekend and on a rainy day, with tricky conditions, sometimes they say things they shouldn’t have said."
god knows how that turned out
(10) wow, you guys aren't gonna let this go, huh
late 2020 and jorge's career is already over, while dovi's looks like it will be... paused, at the very least. which is always a good time to check in with riders on how they feel about their rivals - if they're still being nasty you know that shit was personal. from december:
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some quality petty material here. "I can't understand his somewhat peculiar mind" vs "he was envious of me since 250cc, but I wanted to give our relationship a chance". note too jorge talking again about how generous he had been in the face of dovi's 2017 successes, and how he feels like this was not reciprocated at all. jorge's complaints don't stop there:
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merry christmas!
not the only rider jorge has beefed with post-retirement, but compare and contrast with how he really hasn't been doing any of that with some of his biggest career rivals. valentino, marc, dani - sure, he still talks about the controversies he's had with them pretty regularly (to put it lightly), and he's hardly free of complaints... but mostly it's a distinctly nostalgic tone he's adopting with these guys. admittedly, it helps that none of those three have gone out of their way to say anything particularly inflammatory about jorge. still, the absolute lack of any sort of rapprochement with dovi of all people is pretty funny
bonus: that time when jorge skittled all of marc's rivals
you know how in catalunya 2019, jorge took out like? all of marc's major rivals in that era including himself in one go? with half a decade of hindsight, this was kind of hilarious, and it did also feature jorge having to eat a hell of a lot of humble pie and go to the three other blokes to apologise. anyway I have a lovingly assembled set of screenshots of all three of them emoting in their boxes after the incident, all suffering some form of an existential crisis. here is dovi contemplating the bleak realities of our brief lives on this planet:
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truly one of the world's least enthusiastic waves
bonus 2: another one for old time's sake
already posted this elsewhere, but this from late 2023 made me laugh
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"jorge came to ducati and thought he was going to beat everything, but in the end he didn't" uh huh
#also thank you!! that's really nice#valentino is absolutely SHAMELESS in that clip i'm crying... saw some low hanging fruit and took a chainsaw to the entire tree#laughs a bit TOO much at that dovi line. a little restraint I beg#andrea dovizioso#jorge lorenzo#//#jl99#ad4#batsplat responds#very lazy post sorry but i just wanted to do something fast... i do think they're more interesting than just a list of drama#real lack of mutual respect... how little they get each other... also jorge's side of that 250cc rivalry is sooooo...#currently still cooking up that jorge/valentino post which means i'm obviously revisiting my jorge primary sources#and the way valentino and dovi get described in particular is... hm how to describe this... this isn't just a sports thing but -#- especially in sports and especially at juniors level you come across a lot of people who act like they're constantly on camera#jorge at that age has extreme sports film syndrome. his entire team also has sports film syndrome. the author has sports film syndrome#they're constantly trying to write character arcs for him. 'like a superhero after his darkest hour' that kinda thing#and that also means other riders sometimes get this treatment where you're a bit? this doesn't feel... completely in touch with reality#dovi's The First Rival who's there to help jorge grow... it's quite tricky to explain because you can't point to anything SPECIFIC#it's just tones and vibes really lmao#anyway my point is I do have Takes on this dynamic but for now. here is just a random assortment of stuff with a lil bit of context#I do love it when you have a kind of primary text for these riders. they're all COMPLETELY different#all with quite funny editorial choices that sometimes tell you as much about the blokes as the actual text itself#fwiw the jorge one was the one where i had the most moments of 'hm i'm not sure it happened quite like that but continue'
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strawbubbysugar · 7 months
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I think I may take a lil break from Bethroned. Writing has started to feel more like an obligation rather than something im excited about doing. I know for sure ill come back to it maybe in a few weeks because im too excited about the story I have planned to not, but overall I think I just need a lil time to get excited about writing again
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