#i just want be at least perceived and have people i can share my interests with and love for characters

[maenjiro]

cookiE and cream 𖦹 headcanons

ft. wakasa x afab!reader

synop + cw: wakasa and his oral fixation aka pussy drunk wakasa is the best wakasa. oral (reader receiving) and everything that may come with that

a/n: hmu if this is any good

old news but this man has THE oral fixation

so he dives in, he takes without asking. anywhere, anytime no matter what.

the gym, mostly the changing rooms otherwise he knows his friend would give him shit for it also he really is trying to be more mindful of other people but again, he has no shame when he's hungry

his house, your house, any place you can have some alone time

he makes you wet with all the shit he’s saying about eating you out

might not even be something extremely dirty but he’s so straight forward he can make you pretty flustered.

gets all frantic when he needs his mouth on you but you're wasting time talking

might pin you against the wall and just get on his knees

lift one of your legs on his shoulder to have more access, closes his eyes and the first moan he lets out is pure bliss

your legs shaking will never be enough for him to stop

or on the bed when he's on top of you, this bitch would lower his head down to kiss you and stop abruptly smirking “whoops, wrong lips”

next thing you know he has your legs on his shoulder and is worshipping your cunt

the rare times he's not in a frenzy to have his tongue make circular motion between your folds he will spread them with his fingers and smile at the sight

low breathy moan against your pussy

moves his tongue like he's starving, he is pussy drunk and he shows it

makes sure his tongue is keeping you all wet and hot

he's messy yet very precise, he knows where to lick and how much pressure will make you see stars

also will prod at your hole with his thumb and keep teasing you around your entrance with feathery touch that will make you clench around nothing (the bastard will smirk against you)

soo i bet he has some tooth rotting nicknames for you and i swear i know he would non ironically call you oreo... and you would tell him to stop calling you that

and he looks at you almost offended “not when i have your legs spread open for me and i’m about to lick your cr-” either you cover your face with the pillow or push his head against your core

endless cycle of him sucking on your clit and poking it with his tongue

overstimulates you and he doesn't even do that on purpose he just loses tracks of time (will make you cum at least three times i'm sorry but i don't make the rules, he does)

you can't even pull away cause his grip on your legs is tight, holding onto your thighs for dear life not to spiral

i wouldn't be surprised if he ended up falling asleep between your thighs

[elvensorceress]

In all the excitement about bi!Buck, (which— yay! Amazing! Very exciting! No notes!) I think there’s a part of this story we’re missing. I haven’t seen anyone talk about it, so have some rambling.

 It wasn’t just Buck who looked at this experienced, older, queer man and wanted to know him. It was also Eddie. 

We have never seen Eddie go so hard, so immediately for anyone. To the point his best friend of years felt like he was being ignored by him. Yes, Buck wanted Tommy’s attention for obvious reasons. But he was also slighted by the perceived lack of attention from Eddie. 

Suddenly, Eddie is spending multiple times a week going out with this man. Going to Vegas with this man. Working out with him, working on his car with him, doing karaoke and trivia night with him? Asking his alleged girlfriend to babysit more than once so that he can go out with Tommy? Obviously, it was from jealous!Buck’s point of view, but seriously. If Buck felt ignored, what is Marisol even thinking? Did Eddie bother to make time for his new girlfriend? What spare time would he even have if they work several 24 hour shifts and he’s also gone out with Tommy at least three times in one week? And is probably planning more?

Not that I think Eddie’s feelings for Tommy are necessarily in the same vein as Buck’s feelings for Tommy. But my gosh, Eddie giggly and kicking his feet and twirling his hair while on the phone with Tommy was so very loud. And actually a pretty neat contrast to being distracted and trying to text Marisol “hey mari it me eddie” to ask her out. Eddie’s sudden infatuation with Tommy was a thousand times more than anything we’ve seen from him for anyone. Considering that what he stated he wanted was the magical chemistry he’d found when he and Shannon got together, like… is that not what he just found with Tommy? 

Again, it doesn’t necessarily mean Eddie has any explicit romantic or sexual attraction toward Tommy. I suppose he could? But the point is more that wow, there is some kind of intense draw pulling Eddie to him even if we interpret it as platonic. 

Buck says at the end of the ep that they met this guy and he was so cool and Buck wanted to get to know him. Which makes sense given that Buck is canonically crushing on him and going to be dating him. But Eddie was actually the one who got there first. Eddie also had a reaction somewhere along those lines of “he’s really cool, I need to know him” to the point where he’s all of a sudden spending most if not all of his free time with him. 

And I don’t think it’s a coincidence that this person Eddie wants to spend time with is an experienced, out queer man who is comfortable in his own sexuality and his own masculinity. (He has so much in common with Eddie! They have so many similar interests! They have a magical click together that makes Eddie want to be around him all the time! There’s so much they can do together!) 

Eddie might not have even known it, maybe in the same way Buck also didn’t know it, but Eddie definitely latched onto that, too. Which is very interesting, no? Very— queers finding each other and bonding over shared experiences even before they know that’s what they’re doing. 

It can easily be someone who is likely confused about their own feelings but knows they are having certain feelings just not the names to put to those feelings, and consequently seeking guidance and reassurance that there are other people who are just like them who have these feelings as well. It’s realizing how they can be themselves, that they can be queer in a way that fits who they are instead of what they might conceptualize as queer because of stereotypes and preconceived notions. It’s learning you can be you and also be queer. That there are people like you out there. 

Eddie found something with Tommy that he hasn’t been shown to have found anywhere else. It’s a new and different thing for him, too. And if it were just about excitement over a new friend, why is it so much so quickly all at once? Eddie’s a social person. He’s a friendly, charming, charismatic person. He has friends. But it feels like this is a very different sort of friendship for him. 

And the fact that this is the same man who just gave Buck his bisexual awakening is verrrry inch resting. 

Also regardless of what kind of feelings Eddie and Tommy might have been having for each other, they were so going on dates. Flying someone to Vegas because you have tickets that have been sold out for weeks to something they enjoy? Like damn Eddie. You pulled a sugar daddy. 

Anyway. Eddie is queer, too. Double sexuality awakenings, ready go!

That is all! 💕

[okkotsuus]

hello!!! i absolutely loved the work you did on my request! ^___^ i wanted to request again, hahaha, i really like your works!! anyway, i was thinking of an idea where it was reader instead of geto who spiraled down to depression.. thank you very much!!! (ps. it could be satoru or geto btw, i don’t mind!)

when you fall in love (suguru g.) !

featuring: suguru geto

contents: comfort. established relationship. fluff. slight hurt/comfort. mentions of tears. mentions of nightmares. sharing a bed. voicemails. curses. mention of insecurity. mention of eating. i love him. 0.8k words.

notes: anon, i'm sorry this took like 11 days, i was in a writing slump </3

highschool!geto who notices your shift in demeanor almost instantly, he begins to see his own weariness for the world in your eyes. and it scares him, more than any curse.

highschool!geto who speaks to you more softly, welcomes you into his arms after every mission. he cares for you like a frightened animal, gentle and sweet with hesitance.

highschool!geto who is the only one to notice the growing length of each of your blinks, as if your eyes yearned to stay shut. from that moment, he leaves his bed to lay beside you through the night. 

highschool!geto who stays by your side in the dark, no matter how many times you have to shake him awake from recurring nightmares, no matter how many times he has to shake you awake to reassure you that you are safe. he doesn’t care how much sleep he loses, as long as he doesn’t lose you.

highschool!geto who begins to prepare your meals for you. it’s not that he doesn’t trust you not to eat, he just wants to soothe his own worries that you are getting the proper nutrients you need.

highschool!geto who is a horrible cook at first, all he could make was simple things. but when he sees the smile that spreads on your face when you see him wearing a stupid apron satoru bought for him in the common room’s kitchen, he finds himself slowly getting better.

highschool!geto who has the warmest hugs, his arms enrapture you in a feeling for pure warmth and care. even in the most self-detrimental moments, no amount of insecurity can delude you from the love in his eyes when he holds you closer than thought to be possible.

highschool!geto who leaves you little voicemails whenever he’s away, or when you’re away. he leaves at least one daily, but he ends up giving you one every time something mildly interesting. one day, while he was away, he left you 27 messages because he had seen so many stupid haircuts on the streets of shinjuku.

highschool!geto who manages to draw a giggle out of you even in your darkest moments, without even knowing how he did it. he’s one of the most genuine people, that you can’t help the amused laugh that spills from you despite your cheeks being wet with tears.

highschool!geto who absorbs curses he thinks you’ll find cute simply so he can show them to you, not even perceiving the taste of their spirit orbs.

highschool!geto who brings you out on missions with him and satoru because he knows that you love to see him happy. just this once, he gets serious with satoru and tells him not to do anything foolish that would put you at risk.

highschool!geto who lets you play with his hair, no matter how tangled you may end up getting it. he loves letting your blow dry his hair, nearly falling asleep every time.

highschool!geto who sends you pictures of him after every mission to put your mind at ease, knowing he was still safe.

highschool!geto who sends you voice messages of him telling you good morning and good night every day, he hasn’t missed a single day in over six months: and he had only missed that one because his phone was out of service for a mission out in the countryside.

highschool!geto who calls shoko and satoru in secret to make sure they always have eyes on you when he’s away, not wanting you to slip while he can’t be there to comfort you. they always tease him for the way he fusses over you, but he just laughs and says: “when you fall in love, you’ll understand.”

highschool!geto who takes you out for moonlit rides on his curses whenever you can’t sleep, flying you high enough to touch the clouds (see: that one scene with hiccup and astrid in how to train your dragon).

highschool!geto who has never loved anyone like you, so much that it even scares him at times. he finds himself unable to stop the smile on his face as he lays in bed when the two of you are separated, a giddy feeling filling his chest and butterflies swirling in his tummy.

highschool!geto who will waste his entire allowance from the school on a capsule machine or a claw machine to get the specific one you want, even if you look at it for just a second. if he runs out of money, he just shakes down satoru for his rich boy money.

okkotsuus 23

[plutosunshine]

How to improve your self-esteem?

Venus in the houses

Venus is our self-esteem and values. The house Venus sits in can show us hints on how to help ourselves to build healthy strong self-esteem. Let’s go!

Venus in the 1st house

Of course, the main key here is your appearance. I don’t mean that you must be always gorgeous and pretty. However, it is very important for you to feel that you fit at least your standards. Hair and make-up play a big role. You feel more confident when you like your look. NB!! Not others, but you! Also, your self-esteem grows when you socialize and show your identity in group settings. Don’t hide all the gorgeous talents you have! You MUST show them to the world. Be assertive when it is necessary because achieving goals and being the best is the number one key to your self-confidence. One more thing: aesthetics. Since Venus is in the first house, which makes this planet rising, that means that the qualities of Venus are important to express as well. Aesthetics, art, beautiful things, music, poetry, acting, and everything where you can show your talents. Also, although the first house is ME and my identity, Venus requires peace and balance. It is not easy, but you have to find a balance between showing yourself and being on the same wavelength as others.

Venus in the 2nd house

Here Venus is in its own house. Meaning that the themes of this house are emphasized. Your self-esteem improves when you feel safe and all is set: you have a nice place to live, you have a good salary, and your surroundings are harmonious. Defining your values helps to gain self-confidence. It is totally okay to express your material desires. They make your self-esteem improve. This is the essence of the 2nd house. Save money to have a backup but don’t be strict with yourself. If you really want something, just get it! The key to your self-esteem is your well-being. When you are fed well, dressed well, and generally feel good, you are confident. Any aesthetic activity that makes you feel calm and satisfied is good. Art and other creative areas also may help you because it develops your sense of beauty and allows you to express your talents.

Venus in the 3rd house

Your self-esteem is growing when you feel that you are an interesting companion. The worst nightmare is when people call you boring. That is why sometimes you are trying too hard to attract attention. However, it is only because of your insecurities. I think the key here is to allow yourself to be outgoing and funny personality which you are. Express your interest in communication and exploration. Your self-esteem improves when you feel knowledgeable. You need to constantly receive and share some interesting information. Also, learning something will increase your self-esteem as well. It can be anything: from cooking to science. You just need new knowledge to feel your self-worth and it is okay because it is the way your Venus feels at home. Don’t be afraid to show your knowledge, and make new friends and connections. Also, writing is very good for you. For example, you can express your feelings on paper. It might help you to build a strong relationship with yourself.

Venus in the 4th house

Your self-esteem improves when you are in touch with your emotions and your subconscious needs are met. It is very important not to suppress emotions and feelings. Also, helping and understanding make you feel needed. Sometimes it is not so good thing to seek this feeling, but for Venus in the 4th house supporting and helping someone is beneficial. Every field and place where you can express your ability to FEEL will be useful. For example, psychology, astrology, volunteering, etc. Also, as you know, the 4th house = home. Meaning that you MUST have your own safe place to restore your energy resources. Decorating and cleaning are helpful for your Venus because on a subconscious level you perceive this home as welcoming and safe.

Venus in the 5th house

One word — self-expression. As simple as that, your self-esteem improves when you express yourself and your talents. If you don’t show your creativity, it will grow inside you and turn into poison. So it is so important to express that! Even if you think that the idea is stupid, please just try! Because it is not only about the result but also about the process. Also, showing others your warm and generous side will help your Venus a lot. Be yourself and don’t hide even weird and unusual sides of you because it is still you. Love yourself and respect your desires, enjoy life, and be optimistic about the world! Also, your self-esteem improves when you are the best at something. It shouldn’t be something great, it can be just a little thing that is only yours.

Venus in the 6th house

Your self-esteem improves when you build your plans and fulfill them. Yes, the 6th house here is all about working on yourself. You feel fulfilled when you follow your own rules and routines. It makes you feel like everything is in its place. Sometimes others find your little habits weird but it is who you are. Also, healthy nutrition and sport will make you feel more confident. Being healthy and put together improves your self-esteem. In addition, helping others helps you as well! The 6th house is all about service and when you help someone you feel fulfillment. It is just your essence so don’t hide it!

Venus in the 7th house

Venus here is in its own house but this placement is kind of tricky. Sometimes your self-esteem depends on your partner and you can’t find solid ground for your own personality. It can be so frustrating that you may feel even empty without a partner. However, this situation is not healthy because Venus and the 7th house are all about balance. Yes, Venus in the 7th house screams PARTNERSHIP, but you need to find balance. Give and take equally, respect each other and find harmony in this relationship. This is the main lesson for Venus in the 7th house. Your self-esteem improves when you and your partner find balance and peace in your relationship.

Venus in the 8th house

The 8th house is all about transformations so sometimes having Venus in the 8th house feels unbearable. Your self-esteem transforms constantly. Sometimes you almost don’t feel it but sometimes it breaks your heart. However, it is the essence of this placement. You need to transform yourself and the perception of your values. Life will give you a lot of critical situations that will test your values and self-confidence. Yes, this is not an easy placement to have, but this tough experience makes your self-esteem unbreakable and solid and you become wise and unstoppable.

Venus in the 9th house

Your self-esteem improves when you get new experience and share it with others. It is so important for you to explore the world and build your own philosophy in life. You need to dig deep into the definition of the word «freedom». Your self-esteem improves when you feel no pressure and when you can do whatever you want with your life. Advice-giving is so good for your Venus. You have a lot to share with others so do that! Also, any kind of exploration of other cultures is good, whether it be a new language or travel. Your self-esteem improves when you can help others using your own experience. That is why you would be a great couch!

Venus in the 10th house

Your self-esteem improves when you are the best of the best in your field. You need respect and admiration from others. However, it is important to mention the difference between dependence on someone's opinion and deserved admiration for hard work. The second case is about Venus in the 10th house. Your self-esteem improves when you work hard on your goal and it doesn’t matter how big it is. You just need to build a plan and follow it until your goal is reached. Your self-esteem NEEDS to have a goal. It can be something small but also don’t shy away from big ones!

Venus in the 11th house

Your self-esteem grows when you are not afraid to express your authentic self and show your weird sides to the world. It is extremely important not to think about the opinion of others when it comes to your self-expression and creativity. Sometimes your ideas may seem strange but it is where the real innovation lies! Your self-esteem improves when you feel that your life is fully yours and you can do whatever you want. Also, like-minded people give you confidence because you know that you are not the only one. In addition, participation in some social activities helps your Venus to feel better. For example, charity or fighting for someone's rights.

Venus in the 12th house

Your self-esteem improves when you can express your deep emotions through creativity. Whether it be music or theatre, you need to find a way to free your endless feelings. It can be something small! Also, your self-esteem improves when you help those who are in need. However, be careful! Your sweet soul sometimes doesn’t understand when people take advantage of you. Everything must be in balance. Also, you need to find a field where you can use your empathic gifts to help others. For example, psychology, astrology, therapy, etc.

[project-sekai-facts]

Do you have any thoughts about rui’s character and his relationships? I really enjoy your character analysis i think they’re super good so it’ll so cool to hear something about rui ^_^ otherwise i really enjoy the work you put into this account!

thank you! here's a little something i threw together to commemorate the end of curtain call hell on EN, except it's about the main story because the animation released recently and i have thoughts about it. and i think it's a good starting point for his character.

First though, we need to go backwards a bit to the flashbacks in Revival my dream and KAMIKOU FESTIVAL!. When Rui was a kid, he was considered a prodigy by many and it was constantly shoved in his face that he was different from everyone else. Be it because he was incredibly intelligent beyond his age, or because he had different interests to the other kids in his class. At the end of the day, if he was having fun with his classmates, it wouldn't last. Usually they'd all leave at some point because they thought his ideas of fun were weird or they didn't understand them. By the time he was in middle school around 8 years later, he was completely isolated from his peers. As he said in A Once-In-A-Lifetime Pandemonium, he believed that he would never be able to connect with or understand anyone around him. What Rui had always needed was like-minded individuals who could accept him for who he was, not shun him due to his perceived weirdness. He had Mizuki, but even they said back in middle school that the reason the two of them were friends is simply because they were both lonely; they couldn't actually do anything to help each other change.

It's very clear that Rui didn't think things would ever change. In the main story, even after Tsukasa invites him to join the troupe, the only reason he accepts is so Nene can do what she's always wanted. Sure, it's what he wants as well, but he's never worked well with people before, so why would it be any different now? He'll go along with it so long as he can try and help Nene change, because if he can't change himself, then the least he can do is help his only true friend.

Was joining the crew at Wonder Stage so bad for him? Not really, he actually ended up hitting it off with Emu due to their similar way of thinking, something that had never happened before. Nene even points out that he seems happier than normal after joining.

I think the part where he leaves the troupe is the part a lot of people fail to get their heads around, I've seen so many arguments on twitter over it and I think people just need to get it into their heads that there were multiple factors that contributed to him leaving and refusing to rejoin.

First off: Nene. Nene is Rui's closest and pretty much only friend. She's the only person who stuck with him since childhood. Everyone else left him in the end because they just couldn't understand him, Mizuki bonded with him over their shared loneliness but they were never truly close. Nene means a lot to him because of that, hell, the whole reason he even decided to join Tsukasa and Emu's troupe in the first place is because he saw Nene suffering and wanted to help her be happier. Tsukasa took his anger out on Nene, and Rui felt bad because he was the one who got her into this mess. He wanted her to be happy and to try and overcome her trauma only for her to mess up again and face even worse repercussions. Tsukasa hurt her, and Rui doesn't want to work with someone who's going to act like that, especially not towards his closest friend.

Second: Tsukasa's selfishness. Which admittedly plays into the last point as well. Tsukasa was selfish. He just wanted the fame and glory and to be in the limelight. Nene messed up his debut performance, and he was angry. After all, it was his moment to finally shine, so it had to be perfect, and yet a member of his troupe made an amateur mistake. He wanted to put on the best show with the best troupe, he can't have anything short of that. That's what Rui points out here. Tsukasa says he has a passion for theatre, but really all he wanted was to be in the spotlight. He prioritised himself, let it all get to his head, and couldn't work with other people. That's what Rui means when he says Tsukasa doesn't have what it takes to become a star. Tsukasa doesn't care about anyone but himself, and you can't be a star and put on the greatest show by yourself.

The animation actually adds in a little extra scene here. Leaving the group wasn't easy for Rui, it hurt him and you can really tell it did. As Nene said, it was the happiest he had been in a while. While he denied at the time that anything was different, I think he did know things were different. He thought he'd maybe finally found like-minded people, just like his mother told him he would when he was a kid. And he's a hypocrite even. He tells Tsukasa great shows can't be made alone, despite the fact he's trying to do that himself.

The first time Emu, Nene and Tsukasa try to get him back, he refuses. Tsukasa had apologised to Nene, she accepted his apology and rejoined his troupe. And he's really happy for her, she's making moves to help herself get better, but he still refuses. After all, Tsukasa getting angry at Nene wasn't the only reason he quit. As he says, he and Tsukasa aren't compatible. Tsukasa only wants the fame and glory, whereas Rui wants to make shows that the audience can enjoy. Their goals simply do not align. He thought he'd finally found a place where he could engage in what he's passionate about, but was harshly reminded that place seemingly doesn't exist for him. Whether it was Tsukasa's hubris and selfishness or his classmates isolating him, he can't find anyone to pursue his interests with. Nothing changes.

But it does change. WxS isn't complete without Rui there, Tsukasa needs to prove that he's changed and that his goals do align with Rui's own. And what better way to communicate that than with a show - it's what Rui knows best, after all. I think what's particularly impactful here is that this is a rewritten version of the show Rui was performing the first time he was asked to rejoin the troupe. The show about an alchemist who wanted to put on shows, but everyone who joined him left him because they found his ideas to be ridiculous. Neither the alchemist or the townsfolk understood each other, and the townsfolk wanted nothing to do with the alchemist. It's a bitter ending with the alchemist's happiness being limited and him ultimately being lonely forever, since the story does not continue.

The ending is not a happy one, so they change it.

Tsukasa has changed, and now he's giving Rui the chance to change as well. Rui has never had anyone take his shows seriously, never had anyone take him seriously. No one understands him and he never understood anyone. But that changes. There's finally people who want to do shows with him, who appreciate his ideas and understand his motivations. Even if he's a little different, everyone else in WxS is a little weird too.

I also like how they actually show in the animation that things have changed through a little bit of stage direction. Rui watches that entire play in the dark, alone. When Tsukasa reaches out to him, the light turns on on Rui. We then cut to reveal another person in the scene. He's not lonely anymore.

Ultimately, the most important part of Rui's character arc is change. He never planned on changing - what was the point? He wasn't going to pretend to be someone he wasn't, but he also wasn't going to risk being himself and get rejected again. But once again, as he said in Pandemonium, once he joined WxS, he did change. He's the happiest he's ever been, he has friends that he never wants to let go for the first time, he's able to actually have fun and let himself enjoy things for the first time, he begins to be able to understand people without using shows as a reference point. But even before then, he changed. He changed as soon as he decided to take Tsukasa's offer. As pointed out by Tsukasa in Pandemonium, even if he was the one to give Rui the chance, Rui was the one who took it. He could've refused it again and continued to be lonely forever. He could've chosen to continue to believe that truly he would just never be able to understand and connect with the people around him. But he wanted to change, even if he denied it at the time. And he changed that belief so he could change his life.

(TL)

[gjenkatarot]

reminder: my readings are for entertainment purposes only! take a deep breath and choose a pic that you feel drawn to the most! remember to take what resonates and leave what doesn't. enjoy!

hello, pile one!

♡ you'll come across to your future spouse as a very fun and brave person. the way you dress and present yourself might catch their attention, but they might also be shocked at the fact that you share some interests with them. they will be excited by your energy since it is fresh and new to them. they will be so intrigued by you!

♡ as far as i can tell, your future spouse will also see that you overwork yourself. It's like doing multiple things at the same time. the impression they'll get is that you're very busy and don't have time to sit down and take a deep breath. you might be able to get help with that, though. they will see you tired or exhausted even if you don't mention it. 

♡ you will impress them with your talent and creativity. is this the pile of hopeless romantics? they will perceive you as quiet and introverted. i'm getting charmer by stray kids. not gonna lie, your future spouse will be very charmed by your persona. their eyes will be awestruck by how emotionally and physically you express yourself. it's something about the way you talk! 

♡ because of your independence and being in your own bubble, they'll be intimidated at first.

hello, pile two!

♡ do you have a yellow aura? this pile has such a calm, warm vibe. some of you are giving me beach vibes! 

♡ anyhow, you'll seem to your future spouse like someone who's very positive, loving, and nurturing. i wonder if you guys like kids or are good with them. i think your FS will love your openness, friendliness, and welcoming attitude. childlike energy! they might see you as someone who gets stuff done. i get that some of you motivate people. 

♡ they might see you as someone who has everything they need. someone charismatic, well-liked, and magnetic. I get that they see you as good-looking and aesthetically pleasing to their eye.

♡ at first, your future spouse might think you're stable and don't need people around them. it's just that they'll see you as secure, not needing or wanting anyone else. that'll make them admire you. self-reliant vibes

hello, pile three!

♡ your future spouse will think you're a heartbreaker. you'll intimidate them so much it's hilarious. do you flirt a lot, pile 3? in their eyes, you are a clever, sharp-tongued person with a sharp mind and a clever tongue. you have the power to hurt someone with your words, and your future spouse knows that. nonetheless, the hotness you possess pile three is unmatched. you are a person who is easily liked. your presence in a room is noticed by everyone. you have a magnetic presence.

♡ you might be viewed by your fs as someone who holds back from a lot of things and suppresses them. you want to make a move, but you can't? you'll come across as someone who does things right and doesn't rush into things.

♡ i also think your future spouse might hold back on making judgements about you. like the famous saying, "don't judge a book by its cover"

♡ last but not least, they'll view you as someone who's mysterious and private. someone who doesn't share a lot of personal information. you might scare your future spouse lmao. 

[moons-of-dewclan]

I was curious how to get your clan really set off? I recently (LIKE EARLIER TODAY JFJSJFJ) started my own clangen blog but idk if it's worthy of Tumblr😭

How can I improve my art and improve my process? You're one of my BIGGEST inspirations ngl you're literally him (or her or they I'm so sorry I never caught your pronouns) but I was just curious on how to be better? If you wanna look, don't. It's like, rlly bad so.... save your eyes. Have a lovely nighttt <33

HELLOOOOO I'M NOT 100% SURE WHAT YOU MEAN BY SET OFF I'M SORRY :{ if you mean to get people reading it, i think it's vastly just luck also appealing to an audience by accident i posted my art online for 10 years (i started posting in 2010 as a wee ka- told you i'm an adult haahahueu) before anyone showed consistent interest and i valued those two or so commenters who occasionally had something to say about my stuff, so much LAKSNLKD. that entire decade i got between 2 and 30 favourites for every piece i posted- usually between 2 and 10- until around 2021 when a making a comic aANNND joining a wolf ARPG group exposed me to many kindred art-enjoyers that wanted to keep up with my goofy stories then for some reason, i posted Dewclan's first page on tumblr and it got way more engagement than any other piece of art i've ever posted SO LAKSDNLKDAS WE CANNOT PREDICT THESE THINGS.. at least i can't if you're looking for engagement, pLS AIM FOR ENGAGEMENT THAT FEELS MEANINGFUL over anything else IN MY OPINION, and it's just my opinion- part of being 'better' is, first and foremost, being able to enjoy your art alone. and then being excited with what you choose to share! even if you don't care about your quality of art, care about the story. if you don't care about the story, care about the process and just having fun. but you have to have fun in doing it, and do it for your own eyes primarily. like if you were alone in a room and creating only for yourself! because, until you happen to find others who like what you're liking, you are then when someone is interested and you get to share that excitement, even that ooone comment on something you care about is OOGHHH SUCH A NICE FEELIN. enter communities, comment on other artists' work, try to make friends! but make sure to remember, if you create with the hopes others will like it, without liking it yourself, you're going to be really broken down if someone doesn't like it FOR you :{ loving your own art is tough work but it's integral to your longterm relationship with drawing ON IMPROVING.. for me, nothing is more integral to improving than finding a way to practice that suits you (looking at live figures doesn't help me at all. i don't know why. it's insane), and having fun doing it. i can't grasp anatomy unless i break it down with shapes. SHAPES ARE EVERYTHING. study the shapes of what you want to draw. break em down by tracing simple shapes over your subject. see if the leg is the same length as the head from muzzle to neck and lock that info in. STUFF LIKE THAT on the technical side of things, it can be super helpful to dedicate half an hour or so to drawing a day- eventually it becomes a habit and you just default to 'oh i think i wanna draw' when you've got nothing else to do. more drawing, more improvement!

HONESTLY THO another important thing is not putting yourself down. i know it's a hard habit to break (i struggle with it outside of art myself!), but it doesn't do you any favours. the more you rag on yourself, the more it'll manifest as something that actually damages your art, AND your relationship with it. let it be fun- don't sabotage yourself! you can be critical of your work and still kind! little tip here, improving can take a while, but experimenting with styles can make an INSTANT shift in how you perceive your stuff. ALSOOO EXPERIMENT WITH DIFFERENT BRUSHES FOR SKETCHING AND LINING. I PROOMISE. PLS DO IT. IT'S LIKE A MAGIC TRICK. i cannNNNOT sketch with a hard brush. everything looks horrible. marker brush tho?? so smooth. full of character. lovely. binary brush sketches? suddenly i'm Anime. pencil brush?? i digidevolve back into baby ka who loved to crosshatch and do semi realism. airbrush??? i explode into atoms actually

i find for a lot of people, they don't need to improve or be 'better' at art, they need to learn to enjoy what they're capable of doing now, and improvement is a byproduct. from what i've seen through the years, unless you work to curb it the negative view of your art will stick with you no matter what 'skill level' you get to bc the calls' comin from inside the house, yknow what i mean 3: it can be a long process to learn to accept your art, and sometimes you just plain grow out of it over time! but in the meantime it can't hurt to make efforts to fight your d e m o n s

I'M SORRY I WROTE SO MUCH IK YOU DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS ALL IT ISN'T JUST TO YOU, ODESSY-CLAN BLOG RUNNER, IT'S AIMED AT ANYONE WITH ARTSY SELF DOUBTS. i hope i phrased everything kindly bc i meant it all kindly 3: i hate to see an artist doubt their work, but THERE IS NO SHAME IN IT. i want to encourage loving it regardless of any flaws tho, even though it takes time!

[dnphobe]

i am so deeply fascinated by the specific culture of internet fame and the conflation of the brand and the personal that happens as the result of a form of fame uniquely reliant on (perceived) interpersonal connection rather than a specific professional output. and dan and phil are one of the only not-deeply-depressing examples bc they have semi-successfully escaped their original personas while still retaining boundaries with their audience. the straight man/fool schtick is still a part of their dynamic (bert and ernie fr) but they're able to be so tongue in cheek about it at this stage it's very interesting to me

it's like. such a specific thing. because to equate dan and phil to comediens (the closest comparison i can find to their careers but from traditional media. or even radio personalities (something they actually were for years)....i don't know anything about those people's personal lives, at least not until there's a scandal that breaks everyone's view of them because it doesn't match with their stage personas.

but dan and phil's jobs, and the majority of online public figures, pretty much Require some degree of personalisation. there's possibilities for that Not to happen, like with people who Just post short films, or even the comparatively more recent rise of video essayists (and before that commentary youtubers) where the focus is very much on a Topic. but the very First youtuber boom (compared to youtube Video boom) was very much. person sits in front of camera and tells you about their life. and that's what those youtubers did. except in all the ways they didn't both because they had to be entertaining and many Real things are simply...not entertaining or interesting to people who don't know you. so you exaggerate who you are and stretch the truth of the stories you tell. and second of all because...who Wants strangers to know them personally? i don't. there's things my closest friends don't know about me. because i don't Feel like sharing those things (i will clarify here i am a painfully private person who hates being perceived for no real reason. but i'm sure Everyone goes through this to some degree.

and YES. dan and phil have indeed semi-successfully escaped those personas and i feel like there's a lot of youtubers we can't say that about. like yes their audience isn't as big as it used to be, but i feel like next to none of that is because of people disliking the shedding of persona. i largely put it down to the following things: the passage of time. all 'celebrities' level of fame fluctuates, largely with a rise then fall, but potential for a rise again; tied to the passage of time many people consider dan and phil to be a part of their 'cringy' teenhood and haven't given their newer eras a chance due to their own internalised shame, and; yeah, a Large aspect of the phandom was the Mystery. Are they Gay, are they Together, Why won't they Tell us they are Gay and Together. then they told us they're gay and told us they're Not gonna tell us concretely they're together. I don't LIKE admitting this because those of us here are like. here for more than 'phan' (or out of genuine appreciation for their relationship rather than treating it as something to get to the Bottom of), but this Is proven by the numbers their click bait videos did.

that was a a tangent. now i am going to go on another one and theorize on Why dan and phil have gotten through their rebranding(s) largely unscathed:

so first of all the parasocialisation or whatever you want to call it in the fandom was. Always more intense than even many other similar fanbases. except it wasn't i Feel like i know you from your on screen persona. it was i Feel like i know you Past your persona and i know this persona isn't You. which makes us sound tinhat as hell, like oh we know you Better than the things you show us? except we were right (phannie mantra tbh). like there's a reason people were fighting tooth and nail for phil to say 'fuck' for so long and it's not because we were interested in seeing him be something different than he was, but because we were perfectly aware he was a man around the age of 30 who can and does say swears and we wanted him to be Him with us. in many ways we Always wanted them to shed the personas.

second of all, they timed shedding their personas Very well. they started doing it after tatinof, which, while many of us were still young we were getting Older and changing a lot ourselves. so we were adjusted to change in the way we wouldn't have been before. and they dropped it even more Post coming out, and, i mean, how are you gonna be mad about that? their sexuality is in a way very tangled up in the personas, and as a largely LGBT+ fandom we wanted them to be able to express this part of them they've been holding back freely, and if that comes with dropping Other facades then, well, the closet is a hell of a drug. like. of Course they are going to change after a Big Change. which is another thing. they always Communicated they were about to change. whether that's dan making a whole video on a rebrand and changing his hair, or post-baking universe, or post-coming out.

but mostly i think it's this: dan and phil CULTIVATED their audience. they learned not to surprise us with the backlash from tabinof's sudden announcement and then would pepper in hints for any project and any change months-years in advance. and if you didn't like the hints you were getting? you could leave. only here for the mystery? here's the line of what you're gonna get, you can leave. but the people who stayed are people who Stayed. they have a staying power where it wasn't just...trading in one group of kids for another when the first group ages out, or being left to flounder after the first group ages out. and the second they stopped having a young audience, they stopped trying to Appeal to a young audience when they stopped having one, locking those doors. and i think that maturing with us was very important bc look if they Were still in those 2015 personas? i wouldn't be here. i'd be like...thanks but i am too old for this. so, conversely to everything, i think shedding those personas was, in a way, only BENEFICIAL to them

does any of this makes sense lmao

[crippleprophet]

Is it okay for people with agoraphobia to look and take some of the advice you have for housebound people on here? I'm not really great at picking up nuance so I'm worried that it'd be crossing some boundary or that it's not the intention of the tag

that’s completely okay, i appreciate your desire to be respectful even though i’m sorry you were concerned! i absolutely consider folks with agoraphobia my comrades + community members and i’d be super honored if anything i’ve shared is helpful (+ am always interested in hearing what that was if you’re comfortable!) the rest of this is not anything you need to answer your question, just thoughts i’ve been having on the subject

i haven’t had the opportunity to talk to enough homebound [due to chronic illness / “physical” reasons] people to know if this is a common experience but for me i’ve noticed that similar to chronic illness often carrying depression with it, since becoming homebound i’ve become terrified of leaving the house.

this is definitely influenced by the fact that it’s untenably painful, my photosensitivity (in the UV sense not the epilepsy sense), the ongoing pandemic, the fact that i only left the house to go to the doctor for over a year & i’m afraid of the doctors appointment itself due to medical trauma, etc etc but like. there’s also the very strong pull of habit – i’m an incredibly obsessive & ritualistic person – and what Goffman refers to as “the relief of self-isolation” for marginalized people sheltering from a hostile society, a phrase i read in undergrad 5 1/2 years ago that’s stuck with me ever since for how profoundly it resonates.

i’m not trying to say these are necessarily your or any other person with agoraphobia’s feelings & experiences, more to illustrate how the liberation of all homebound people & shut-ins & hermits is bound up together; any sanist strategy for oppressing agoraphobes can easily be leveraged against me, not least because as a severely underdiagnosed person, the medical establishment does not think there is any “legitimate” “physical” reason for me to be homebound. to respond to this oppression by arguing it’s inapplicable because i’m not crazy would be untrue + a cruel act of lateral violence.

i’ve been reading a lot of butch/femme history recently (i post about that on my main @campgender; followers age 18+ only please) & have found myself entirely reconfiguring my understanding of the queer art of isolation, the incredible ability of our ancestors to hunker down & survive under circumstances unimaginable to the average person. i absolutely don’t want to deny the deep pain – not only the aspects i experience but also the heightened isolation of people without or before internet access + the ways these circumstances / forms of oppression can foster abuse –

but my god, so many 50s butches didn’t leave their homes during daylight hours for years in order to not be hate crimed for their gender presentation, & that’s the folks who were making it to the bars. so many others – “discreet” couples who didn’t want to risk being outed by engaging in queer community; people assigned female who “passed” as men & their partners; butch sex workers & other people with identities perceived as contradictory or unacceptable – existed marginalized by both queer & normative communities.

every time i think substantially about homeboundedness i always get tracy chapman’s “subcity” stuck in my head. obviously my access to housing period is a huge position of privilege, & i’m in the most economically secure position of my adult life so far; the abjection i experience is nowhere near the scale of people in the position of the speaker of the song, who’s implied to be street homeless. but the line “people say it doesn’t exist ‘cause no one would like to admit that there is a city underground” is such a succinct & accurate depiction of living the kind of life society tries to convince itself is impossible. but there truly is a rich genealogy of homeboundedness especially in queer history.

again i hope some of my posts & such are helpful / resonant! wishing you all the best 💓💓

[odessa-castle]

I'm bouncing around a larger post about Nishiki and the mortifying ordeal of being known, but in the meantime I'm thinking about Nishiki and Kiryu and how the clothes make (or don't make) the man. Like, beyond my visceral horror that Kiryu begged Nishiki to pick out a safe and boring suit for him in Y0 and then said he was envisioning something purple with gold stripes.

I'm thinking about Nishiki's incredible sensitivity to image and his need to control how he's perceived. I'm thinking about Kiryu's inability to let go of the past. I'm thinking about how KIryu dresses like who he thinks he is, and Nishiki dresses like who he thinks he wants to be.

There's some interesting incidental dialogue between Nishiki and Kiryu in Y0 while they're en route to the men's suit store. I wish it wasn't so easy to miss, because there's a lot to unpack here. (I'm just transcribing the English in-game subtitles here; I don't speak Japanese so I have no idea how loose vs. direct the localization is in this part.)

NISHIKI: …now that I think about it, you've been dressing like an old man since we were kids. KIRYU: Have I? NISHIKI: Yeah. The few times we got to pick our clothes, it was always like, "you're choosing THAT?" NISHIKI: I wouldn't say you're a plain guy…You'd pick shirts with weird prints though. KIRYU: Guess I forgot all that. It's weirder to me that you haven't. NISHIKI: Well, confession time. You're why I started caring about fashion. I swore I'd never go out dressed like you. KIRYU: Come on, I'm not THAT bad. [we have already discussed why kiryu is, in fact, that bad.] NISHIKI: [laughing] Aww, did I hurt your feelings? NISHIKI: Well, this time you've got me with you. I'll see my bro gets taken care of. KIRYU: Heh. What an honor. NISHIKI: Leave it to me.

Nishiki doesn't bring up Sunflower Orphanage much; when he does share memories of his childhood, those memories are kind of painful (see: "do orphans not get to dream?"). Kiryu's surprised that Nishiki remembers how they dressed as kids, but it makes sense that wearing a limited selection of hand-me-downs stuck with Nishiki so strongly. His clothes announced his poverty, and they weren't even his -- he had to share them with the other orphans, so what he wore showed he belonged to yet another stigmatized group. And I'm sure people picked up on those visual signals, especially other kids. Kids can be vicious, and appearance is an easy and immediate target! We don't know for sure how young Nishiki interacted with his peers and teachers, but given what the Morning Glory kids go through in Y3 (and given, like, everything about Nishiki), he probably didn't have a great time.

Kiryu frames his childhood as poor but loving, and places much more emphasis on the latter. There might be some rose-colored glasses at work there -- let's look at the flashback where Kazama tries (and fails) to violently dissuade Kiryu and Nishiki from joining the yakuza.

KIRYU: I owe you everything, but this isn’t about that. [...] We’ve looked up to you for all this time. Your car. Your confidence… The way everybody bows to you. We idolized you. I want that life, too. Is that so wrong!?

Nishiki doesn't really speak in this flashback, but like, Kiryu uses "we" enough for us to draw some obvious conclusions about Nishiki's own motivations. That being said, I don't think Kiryu's being dishonest or disingenuous when he describes his childhood as happy, and himself as well-loved. He's not ashamed of his upbringing, and he doesn't hide where he came from. Nishiki seems to have the inverse view. It's not that he doesn't love (at least some of) the people he grew up with, but what comes up first for him is what he didn't have. He didn't have money. He didn't have respect. He didn't have a cure for his little sister. He didn't have a lot of choice, right down to the clothes he wore.

(There's a whole other essay here about why Kiryu's and Nishiki's perspectives diverge on this, but I'm trying to limit the scope of this post. Suffice to say that, while I don't think game canon gives a timeline, I do think Nishiki was a little older when his parents were killed -- old enough that he actually remembers them, at least.)

The same mindset fuels Nishiki's interest in fashion. Yeah, part of it is that he's ribbing Kiryu, but I think it goes deeper than Kiryu wearing ugly shirts. Nishiki doesn't want people to look at him and see what's missing. Fashion isn't a means of personal expression for him, really. It's a message. It's the interplay of knowledge and resources and presentation: knowing what clothes read as successful and trendy and expensive, being able to afford those things, and convincing people that your successful important outfit makes you a successful important person. And he's not wrong about the social dimensions of fashion.

NISHIKI: Try sporting a suit that runs 500 grand for once. Trust me, you’ll see the world in a whole new light. KIRYU: Fashion’s not my thing. Besides, Kazama-san never wore flashy clothes. NISHIKI: You do realize he’s the family captain, right? Number two in the whole Dojima operation? You get to that level, you can wear whatever you damn well please. But for the rest of us, “flashy” is part of the business. KIRYU: So that fancy new car you bought was just “business”. NISHIKI: Yeah, and that fancy lighter of mine, too. Which you still haven’t given back. KIRYU: You want to play the rich guy, quit being so stingy. NISHIKI: But you get what I’m saying, right? People see the expensive car, the designer jacket, and the gleam of that little Dojima pin, they pay attention. A yakuza’s only as good as his image. [...] Take your buddy today. These squeaky-clean idiots, borrowing money just to blow on tits and booze… Nobody in this town gives a crap about substance. What you see is what you get.

That's our first take on one of the major themes of the game: what does it mean to be yakuza? Again, there is truth to what Nishiki's saying here, particularly in terms of the ethos of the eighties. I'm not an expert on the bubble era, but the worldbuilding in the game speaks for itself. People hail taxis with 10,000-yen bills. You punch money out of punks during random street battles. Nishiki keeps a personal bottle of high-end booze at a bar he's visited twice, mostly because he "can’t stand being taken for a bum." The act of spending is important, not what you're spending it on.

Nishiki's outfit in Y0 is perfectly suited (heh) to that outlook. And look, I might be inviting controversy here, but in context, I think it's a werq. Yes, it's loud. But the silhouette -- squared shoulders, single breasted, thinner peaked lapel -- is right on trend for the time period, and it fits him well. The colors look good on him. The bold pattern (no, it's not animal print) under the solid maroon is a risk, but he pulls it off. And excess aside, he knows when to pull back on the accessories. It's bright and confident and memorable, and boy would Nishiki like to be all of those things.

Also -- and importantly -- Kiryu would never go out dressed like that. Because we can't talk about Nishiki and Kiryu without talking about Nishiki's Mt. Fuji-sized inferiority complex. Mastering image doesn't just make Nishiki stand out; it makes him stand out from Kiryu. Let's go back to the beginning of the game.

NISHIKI: I’ll admit, though, you’re finally starting to look the part. You make a pretty convincing yakuza. You’re done with collections today, right? KIRYU: Yeah. NISHIKI: Good. That should put Kazama-san’s mind at ease a bit. KIRYU: Heh, dunno about that. But he always knew all I could do is fight. You’re the one who’s good at the dance.

Nishiki then calls attention to the "rags" that Kiryu's wearing, which...is not an unfair assessment. (TUCK IN YOUR SHIRT, KIRYU. HEM YOUR PANTS.) As the two of them walk around Kamurocho, Nishiki offers Kiryu plenty of hot tips, from meeting girls to making big bucks to cozying up to the brass. But even when Nishiki's opining on his area of expertise, there's a competitive edge to it. "You asking me to pick out clothes for you means you admit you have terrible taste," he tells Kiryu on the way to the suit shop. Kiryu tells him to shut up, but there's no actual hurt behind it. Kiryu doesn't really care that his taste in clothes sucks. Fashion isn't important to him. Most of the things Nishiki knows so much about don't really matter to Kiryu. And that makes Nishiki feel more insecure! Because if Kiryu rolls out of bed looking like a yakuza, if Nishiki's image counseling sessions aren't helpful or meaningful, if Kiryu can skip the dance and get to the top on the strength of his fists and convictions, then who cares about Nishiki's 500 grand suit or his hourlong hair care routine? If image isn't what makes a yakuza, what does that make Nishiki?

At the end of Chapter 6, Nishiki tries to look out for Kiryu again -- this time, by granting him a merciful death before the Dojima Family drags him to the Hole. It's one of my favorite scenes in the game. Nishiki's crying too hard to aim the gun properly; Kiryu tells him to man up and shoot. Finally, Nishiki collapses.

NISHIKI: Can’t do it… How could I shoot you!? Without you, I’ll always be nothing. Can’t make it as a yakuza… No. I wouldn’t even still be alive now if I didn’t have you beside me! I’m just… If you’re not with me, I’m useless! Nothing means anything!

Mastering image hasn't granted Nishiki anything of substance. At the end of the day, Nishiki's playing dress-up, and he knows it.

And I'm almost certainly getting into overthinking-this territory now (if I haven't gotten there already), but I kind of like the spin this puts on Nishiki ripping his expensive suit off in Chapter 14 when he decides to fight the Dojima Family at Kiryu's side. Like yes, ripping off your outer layers to get at the naked (so to speak) truth -- your irezumi, and what it represents -- is just Yakuza Storytelling 101. It's decisive, it's kind of dumb, it's great, it gets me hyped every time. But I like that Nishiki's honest answer to "what does it mean to be a yakuza?" isn't about looking the part. I am genuinely trying not to end this paragraph by saying that Nishiki must become like a dragon, but like...you get where I'm going with this.

Of course, Nishiki's back to playing dress-up in Y1/Kiwami. I'm not the first to call the Patriarch Nishikiyama look a glow-down (though I like the patterned white tie). Like, fashion-conscious Nishiki would look good in a Hedi Slimane/Tom Ford-esque skinny black suit. But he picks a silhouette you'd expect to see on a much older man, torso-swallowing pants and all. The slicked-back hair doesn't help. He's just so transparently trying to look bigger and broader and older, and he doesn't pull it off. Big Bad Patriarch isn't a good look for him, in any sense of the phrase.

A final thought: Kiryu's clothes, and Nishiki's commentary on them, are the subject of their first conversation in Y0 -- and of their last. Kiryu's costume progression in Y0 is a pretty obvious commentary on his journey, to the point where Kiryu and Nishiki explicitly call attention to the color connotations in their final exchange. As a Dojima grunt, he wears black, and it doesn't look good on him because "brutish thug who keeps his head down and does what he's told" isn't a role he's comfortable with. He wears white when he works in real estate, but the change in color isn't enough to sell anyone on his transformation into a civilian. Although it's a little rich for Oda "Red Clown Shoes" Jun to chide someone for not wearing a proper suit. At the end of the game, Kiryu's in his classic grey suit, and well, the game spells it out:

KIRYU: I’m not feeling black or white these days. This is where I’m at right now. I chose it myself. I’m making it a fresh start. NISHIKI: Fine, fine. See if I care! Wear it the rest of your life!

Nishiki, dismayed, tells Kiryu that the grey suit already looks dated, but for Kiryu, "fresh start" doesn't mean "on trend". His image might be out of step with how other yakuza view themselves, or want to be seen, but if he's always going to look like a yakuza, he might as well stake his claim on what being a yakuza means. Still, it's telling that, even as a young man, Kiryu looks like a throwback to an earlier era. As the series progresses, the games hammer this home more and more. How many antagonists tell Kiryu that he's out of touch with the modern world, that he represents a version of the yakuza that no longer exists, that it's time for him to make way for the next generation?

"Wear it the rest of your life!" is a funny little in-joke, yeah, but...it's a little sad when you think about it, isn't it? Kiryu gets new outfits from Y3 on -- and in every game, he ultimately puts the suit back on and heads to Kamurocho. It's exactly of a piece with how Kiryu views being yakuza. We, and he, can debate the exact extent of his retirement from the Tojo Clan's affairs, but the yakuza isn't a career for Kiryu, it's a set of beliefs he carries with him. He wears the suit the same way he wears the dragon on his back: as an indelible part of his self-image.

[kelp-person]

my last sagau post got pretty popular ( for some reason ?? ) so now i've decided to give whoever's interested a glance at what my imposter! sagau would be like. ( btw sorry if any of the mentioned characters are ooc this is like the third time i've written for genshin 🗿 )

edit :: if you want more content from this little au, feel free to check this little drabble i wrote out !!

𝗜𝗠𝗣𝗢𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝗦𝗔𝗚𝗔𝗨, 𝗘𝗫𝗖𝗘𝗣𝗧 ...

☀︎︎ the "creator" ( at least, they claim to be ) is but a child: a spoiled brat who throws tantrums when they don't have their way and laughs at the agony of others. they don't share, only wanting to keep the best for themself, and if they are displeased by any of their toys, then will tear them apart and scream as the stuffing falls to the floor like freshly fallen snow.

☀︎︎ the "imposter" ( once again, a claim made by the so-called "creator" themself ) is also but a child, except this one is too kind and oblivious for their own good. they're not stupid - they KNOW that these people all want their head on a stick - but for every chase, for every attack thrown their way, their smile ( which also proudly shows that they're missing a single tooth ) never falters.

☀︎︎ the "creator" - who is dressed in only the finest of silks and fabrics - is enraged at word of an "imposter" going around and "ruining" their face and name, so they make a decree: find the "imposter", kill them, and the hunter will be rewarded with whatever they can imagine and even beyond that.

fun fact: the archons all know that decree is a lie, because they know that their "creator" is far from kind.

☀︎︎ the "imposter" - dressed in your average, everyday clothes with colorful bandaids covering almost every visible part of their body - is more confused than anything. people yell at them; snarl at them when they think they can't hear, and they don't understand why. their confusion only grows when they hear this so-called "creator's" decree. why do they want them dead so bad?

☀︎︎ and then there's everybody else, who's caught up in the "creator's" mess. at first, they, too, were full of rage. how DARE this ignorant child take their god's face and name and wear it around as they please with not a care in the world?

☀︎︎ but then the "hunt" actually begins, and suddenly beliefs in their "creator" start to dwindle, and all because this "imposter" is far too compassionate for them to understand how their intentions could possibly be perceived as "evil".

jean is one of the first to encounter this "imposter", and at first she's initially surprised at how ... innocent they look? for a moment, she watches in surprise as this child who looks so much like her dear "god" interacts with the usually aggressive slimes. their laugh is so vibrant and full of warmth, and their touches are gentle as they pet the colorful blobs that come up to them. what surprises jean even more, though, is when she makes herself known as a threat, the slimes are quick to defend the "imposter": surroundings them in a protective wall and glaring at jean with a ferocity that DARES her to draw her blade. in that time, she believes that the "imposter" will sick the small blobs on her, but they don't. instead, they smile and tilt their head, looking both confused and curious at the same time.

xiao is next. he goes for the kill almost instantly once he sees the "imposter" wandering the streets he watches over, but the moment he does, a tree branch suddenly comes out of nowhere and straight up just whacks him on the forehead, making him stumble back in pain whilst also drawing attention to him from the "imposter". he goes to growl, to threaten them for taking his "god's" face and name, but all words almost instantly die on his tongue when they kneel down next to him and place a blue bandaid against his forehead. the shock of their action is enough to make him freeze, and he suddenly feels his throat go dry when the "imposter" grins and asks him if he's okay.

and then there's the electro archon herself, whose rage is almost enough to ignite a thousand suns. she goes to fight the "imposter" - to put an end to this hunt once and for all - but then accidents happen, she's trapped under something heavy and water is filling the room fast until bubbles of oxygen are escaping her lips as she tries to free herself. and then that's when it happens: the "imposter" comes down and helps her out, nearly risking their own life in the process, and for some reason - rather than just leaving them to perish - she returns the favor and helps them out of the water too.

"why did you save me?" ei asks, her eyes focusing in on this 'imposter' with a heavy glare brimming with suspicion.

to her surprise, though, rather than being intimidated, the 'imposter' merely grins and answers, "because it was the right thing to do." they tilt their head to the side curiously. "isn't that why you saved me?"

ei stays silent, too busy to even hear the 'imposter's question as she stares at the way the sun rises behind them, giving them a heavenly glow that feels so much like 𝙝𝙤𝙢𝙚 despite their messy appearance gained from being chased around all of teyvat.

( would it be strange to say that this 'imposter's smile was a lot more comforting than the one her 'creator' ever gave anyone since their reign began? )

[seoliee]

Driving Fear Into Your Heart

Word Count: 2.7k words

Pairing: X x Reader

TW: Cursing, Kidnapping, Stabbing, Yandere Tendencies (Pls read smth else if not comfortable)

A/N: I said this was inspired by X's halloween theme skin, but idk this maybe how I perceived it instead? Anyhow, lemme know y'all thoughts <3

In a dark and hollow forest somewhere near the city. Where only fragments of moonlight shone through the small crevices of the tall trees branches and its leaves. It was eerily silent, until swaying locks of hair pass through the bushes in a haste.

A girl ran barefooted, cracking sounds of dried leaves filled her hearing, leaving a trail behind. Her complexion was pale, fear stricken and distressed. Her body felt sore and drained, it was only sheer adrenaline that made her push through.

Her feet were starting to hurt, forming small cuts and bruises on the sole. She has to stop running at some point, but she can't. Not when she's running for her life.

~*4 days ago*~

She was in the cafeteria, sitting along with her friend at their usual booth and chatting about ramdom stuff. Just like the usual. She was attentively listening when her childhood friend X, came into view along with his own fair share of group.

She found herself falling out of the conversation and instead decided to watch him from a distance. Only did her friend's voice broke her out of the trance with a small nudge.

"Don't stare at him too much or he'll melt." Her friend says teasingly, chuckling at her obvious crush at the lab nerd.

"I-I wasn't staring!" She quickly rebukes her claim, though her blood red cheeks and ear were contradicting it.

"Yeah yeah, whatever. Anyway.." Her friend's tone suddenly became serious, which made her get a bit confused as her friend seldom becomes serious during their conversations. "Have you heard about the kidnappings that's happening near the university recently?"

She shakes her head. She's been too absorbed on finishing her research paper these past few days that she blocked out any kind of gossips or news that would distract her from concentrating. She even went as far as to cancel all her plans of hanging out with X.

"There were a total of three missing cases reported and all of them were  students of different universities near our campus."

"The authorities haven't gotten a single clue whether it's a solo or a group operation. Either way, the kidnappers are still out there so do be careful."

Her warning sent a chill down her spine, terrified that such happenings were happening near them. Those poor students, she hopes that they were at least safe and alive.

She sent her friend a reassuring smile, squeezing her hand in a comforting way. "Don't worry. I always walk home with X anyway. You should be careful too."

"Oh, I'll be fine. Besides, I'm going on a date with y'know who later..." Her friend managed to light up the mood immediately by redirecting into another topic that she knew, she would interested in.

"What?? Since when? Tell me the fucking details!" She exclaims hysterically, practically slapping her hands down on the table earning a few strange looks from the people around them. She couldn't care less though.

Alas, the final bell rang throughout the halls signaling the end of the day. Tired groans from her fellow students and a few hastily gathers up their things, wanting to leave immediately.

As for her, she's delighted to walk home with him again after for so long only to be met with disappoinment.

"Sorry, (Y/n). I promised the guys I would hang out with them afterschool so I won't be able to walk you home." X says apologetically, a troubled smile grazing his handsome features.

He could see how your bright and grinning gorgeous face warps into a look of disappointment, making him feel guilty. "I can cancel it though. I'd rather be with you anyway."

The disappointment in her face quickly turns into a sheepish smile as she shook her head for a no. "No, it's alright. I can walk home with my friend instead." She obviously can't make him cancel his plans just for her satisfaction. After all, he has a life of his own.

"You sure? I could really—"

"Hey, X! You coming or what?!" One of his friends yells from a far, having an impatient look while the others grin at him in a teasing manner as they watch the scene unfold.

"Be there in a sec!" He yells back in response, looking over his shoulders with his eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. He looked back at her in disbelief. "Sorry about that. I gotta go. Remember to text me once you got home, okay?"

"I will." She chuckles, fondly grinning as light pink hue flows to her cheeks. This made X's heart softened, huffing a tiny chuckle as he brush a stray hair behind her ear.

"Be safe, my little lamb."

She watches as he ran up to his friends, some of them teasing him for the little moment they had. She's glad to know he found good friends despite his peculiar personality, he meant well.

~•~

After getting off the bus, the way to her apartment was already a bit dark and somewhat silent than usual at her on time arrival at dawn. Though, that's to be expected as she's staying in a peaceful neighborhood which she should be thankful for.

The soles of her shoes clicks on the pavement on each step she makes, the soft cold breeze of air moving past her ear as chills ran down her spine. Her surroundings were dark, the only light present were from the flickering street lights and the moon above her, which she thinks added to her paranoia.

She doesn't know if it's because she isn't used to walking home alone or is there someone watching her? She swore she could feel eyes from everywhere around her.

As she turned to a corner, footsteps sudden came to light from behind. She didn't thought anything of it, as it could be a passerby or a neighbor. Thankfully, she's near to her home so she briskly walked and much to her surprise, the person behind her began to speed up.

This set off alarm bells in her head, once she could see the light from her porch. She began to ran and screamed for help. However, all hope is lost once she felt a sharp pain struck behind her head as darkness engulf her sight.

~*~

A horrible stench whapped into her nose, as consciousness slowly seeped back into her figure. She pry her eyes open, blinking away the drowsiness as her vision clears up and able to take in her surroundings.

She's sat in the corner of a crusty room, the wallpapers were ripped and moldy. The pipes above her were leaking with merky water which where the awful stench came from. The windows in the room were boarded, as nothing but the gush of wind and crickets were heard from the outside.

She tried to move, but found it difficult as her wrists were tightly bounded together from behind to a pipe. She found it quite hard to breath because of the tight cloth on her lips. Panic fills her body as she heard heavy footsteps, and an unknown man had entered the room.

She glares at him, which made him smirk at her feistiness. He bends down to her eye level, and pats her head. "You're a pretty one, aren't you?"

His breath fans to her face, which made her feel nauseous and wants to puke at the horrible smell of alcohol and poor oral hygiene coming from him. He took off the cloth that's covering her mouth and traced his disgusting thumb across her bottom lip.

She didn't hesitate to bite down on his finger, hard enough to make him scream and recoil his hand away as blood rushes out of the bite. The man was furious and smashed the bottle of alcohol in his hand and points the severed half towards her.

"Don't fuck with me, woman. I can—" He was cut off when he heard a buzz coming from his phone. He clicked his tongue and immediately answers the phone, proceeding to leave the room.

Once he's out of sight, all the energy seeped out of her body as hot tears rushes down her cheeks. Tears trickle down to her knees, as she kept her mouth close to silent her ugly sobs. Her chest felt so tight, she's scared, deeply scared. She didn't think something like this could happen to her. Not when after being warned by her friend.

Then, she saw a faint glimmer from her peripheral vision. She looks up and saw a piece of broken glass from the bottle near her. She uses her foot to reach towards the shard and manages to push it to her side and tries her best to grab it.

Once she successfully got it, she began to slowly cut the rope, but found it to be quite thick and tough for the nibble blade.

It took her roughly 3 days before she could finally cut the rope because she was constantly interrupted by people coming in and sometimes watching over her. She felt drained as she refused to eat anything they gave her, but it didn't matter because she'll be out of her in no time.

She pushed her body up, and slowly walked up to the door, careful not to make any noise. She turns the knob and opens a small gap to peek. It was silent and there was only one man outside, and he was sleeping soundly, practically snoring.

She gently swing the door open, careful to not make it creek as she steps out of the room. She held in her breath as she began to take light steps behind the sleeping man. She sucked in her breath as the man began to turn in his sleep, rendering her still as she kept her eyes on him. Once she deemed it was safe, she continues her way to the door.

She steps out into the cold night, as a smile finally crept to her lips, tasting her freedom. Only for panic to once again surge as one of the men guarding outside saw her and calls to her, alerting the others.

She didn't think twice and ran into the dark woods. She didn't mind if twigs poked the sole of her feet, nor if she stepped on pointed pebbles. She just ran wherever she could, taking sharp turns to confuse her captors.

She could hear their voices getting farther, but she knows she shouldn't celebrate yet as the woods were hollow and wasn't sure if she's heading towards civilization or deeper in.

Her speed slow down as her adrenaline began to dissipate, she's breathless and looks around for any source of life. Much to her surprise, a hand had grabbed her wrist and instinctively she swipped her hand forcefully and elbows whoever it is.

The person grunts and moans in pain, the voice was oddly familiar. The person lights up their phone to their face, and soon she was able to make out who he was.

"You pack a mean elbow, little lamb." X smiles, chuckling despite the stinging pain on his nose. "Makes me think you didn't actually needed me."

His face quickly transforms into a scowl, looking back once he heard numerous of voices barking behind them. Without another word, he took her wrist and guided her out of the woods.

She saw his motorcycle parked by the side of the road, she hopped on and X quickly stepped onto the pedal as they drove away.

Her hands tightly hugged the small of his waist, leaning her head against his broad back as she tries to catch her breath. Her feet were in pain as well as her whole body. She couldn't stop shaking, as she cried on his back.

She felt his hand comfortably brush against hers, which sent butterflies inside her stomach flutter in ease.

"How.. did you find me?" She asks, keeping her head close to his back and listens to his faint heartbeat.

"I finally managed to track your gps using my phone and followed its location." He replies, keeping his voice low and words consise. "Sorry it took me a while. I had to first know your ips before managing to connect. Thank god, your phone is in working order too or I won't be able to track you."

His words flew into her ear, but she couldn't make sense of it as her energy began to lower that's she finding it difficult to keep her eyes open. "Thank you, X."

"No worries. After all, you know I'm always here for you." She could hear the usual smile in his voice. She finally lets herself rest and is unable to hear his next words.

"And I'm all that you need, and no one else matters, my little lamb."

A sickening and sadistic smile curls up to his lips, chuckling lowly.

~•~

X dumps a bucket full of cold water down on the unconscious person tied up to a chair infront of him. The man, jolts awake and flickers his eyes up at X.

"Good, good. You're finally awake. Did you slept well?" X muses, keeping the usual permanent smile on his face.

The man didn't bother to answer, starting to wiggle his way out of the chair in panic. X was displeased by this, but made no action and instead clicked his tongue.

The man finally stopped trying, his energy running low. "You bastard! Why are you doing this, X?! Let me go!"

The man's voice was irritating to X's ears, but he was glad to respond to his question in a simple and conventional manner.

X had walked up to the nearby switch and flicks it. Light began to shine on the wall littered with pictures. Pictures of (Y/n). His cheeks reddens as he took a step closer to the wall, his eyes flickering at each picture he took throughout the years in complete secrecy.

"Don't you think she's beautiful?" X asks the man, which confuses him and found the revelation quite disturbing.

"W-What...?"

"You asked why I'm doing this and it's because of her." X says, turning towards him once more. He took a step closer to a nearby table, his hand brushing against each tool on it. "I am merely protecting her from the filth swarming around her and trying to take what's mine..."

X grips the handle of a sharp and bloodied knife in his hand, taking slow steps towards the now frantic man who's eyes are filled with terror as he tries to reason with him.

X stops infront of him, bending down to his eye level. He moves his face closer to him, keeping his heterochromatic eyes into the man's terrified and shaking ones, a sadistic smile slowly forming on his lips. "This wouldn't have happened if you just kept your distance from her and not end up in the same predicament like the others..."

X had driven the knife into the man's throat, and pulls it back out. He watches as the man gurgle in his own blood rushing out of his mouth. He continues his attack until he was satisfied.

He only stopped a buzz emits in his pocket that came from his phone. With his bloodied hand, he tapped the screen and answers the caller.

"You got her? That's good news!" X muses, as he nods at the following sentences from the person in the other line.

His eyes flickers down to the mutilated and lifeless man in front of him, blood pours down onto the ground and pools around his shoes. He clicked his tongue, thinking he made quite a mess this time.

"Yeah yeah, I got it. Remember, don't touch her. Unless, you got a death wish." X warns before ending the call. He began to walk towards the wall swapped with photos of you, filling his heart with love and feeling of ease.

"Sorry, my little lamb. You just have to learn the hard way this time." X took a certain picture from the wall, looking down on it with a soft eyes and smile. It was a picture of them back when they were still children.

"And this time, with driving fear into your heart. You'll realize that I'm the only you'll ever need and trust after I come and save you."

~•~

I think I flunked this lol.

Thanks for reading though <3

Happy holidays everyone!!!

[joyswonderland1108]

Solos suck ass.

I can't believe a day came where i had to click uninterested on posts about Jimin or Jungkook.

The algorithm works this way the more you interact with something the more posts about the same thing/person will show up more. You all know i'm a Jungkook and Jimin stan so naturally my algorithm picks up that i'm interested in posts about them individually or together, which also means the algorithm suggests shitty posts the same as the ones i've seen earlier.

There's this one post i've seen and i'm not gonna share it cause really both parties are disgusting but this made me think.. This is why you should be mindful of what you say because later it can backfire, and the only one receiving hate from all that is the members.

Jimin and Jungkook solos are in this constant war getting back at each other and they're both setting up Jimin and Jungkook for hate. If you're a solo congratulations do you want me to give you a cookie for that? You go be a solo in your own bubble and talk about your fav all you want, but don't forget that you're a solo so keep other members names out of your mouth, don't go thinking that by dragging other members your fav will be happy with you. Thank you for all the efforts you do for the member you are solo'ing but that's all, that's literally all there is to thank you for.

Another thing i wanted to mention since some people felt the need to bitch about it. And i'm with @kkhluvsbts in this one, you are entitled to your own opinion about something as long as you stay respectful, if you feel a bit disappointed that you can't see JK being credited on any song in GOLDEN, fine whatever those are your feelings and no one can invalidate them, but going the extra mile to diss him about that?

A gentle reminder that Euphoria was not written by JK yet no one was barking about how it doesn't associate with him or how it doesn't represent him or how it doesn't mean anything to him, and to begin with as per Namjoon's words it was supposed to be a Jimin and Jungkook subunit but they decided to go for Jungkook only.

Jungkook didn't write Seven either but because he felt a connection to it he chose that one song, it's also the way he interprets each lyrics those are personal to him. When he was interviewed about Seven he made a slight distinction between the MV and the lyrics and this to me at least showed me how Jungkook sees the lyrics for himself, not how YOU perceive them or how YOU understand them.

Should i also remind you of the poems you google when you're an X mood and you post them because it defines how you feel at the moment? Should we invalidate your state at the moment because it wasn't written by you? Should we just pretend you are lying about your feelings at the moment cause you chose to post words written by someone else?

Also since y'all are being smartasses you do realize that Jungkook didn't start working on his album very early right? I do hope y'all weren't just hypocrites pretending to care about him when you don't even realize this. Writing your own songs can take a lot and i mean A LOT some people have been writing the same song for YEARS not just weeks or months, do you think JK would be happy to give us something he didn't have enough time to write properly?

I just want to understand what's so wrong with connecting with words that you yourself didn't write? When Jungkook chose "There for you" or "Best of Me" for his GCFs he didn't sing any of those yet he felt a connection with them and felt like they were the most fitting for what he was trying to show us.

I don't know just how long this fandom will keep on being dominated by immature brains. I come here everyday hoping i'd get inspired to write something cute about my biases but end up being disappointed with the shit happening. Y'all need to get a life istg.

[tarrenterror25]

thoughts no one asked for but my mind has no mouth and must scream

Harvey Dent/Two-Face x Soft/Romantic Goth F!Reader

Word Count: 1K

Tags: established relationship, fluff, mention of blood/wounds/injuries Harvey POV

Notes: Song referenced in moodboard is “Love You to Death" by Type O Negative. Just a thing that's been on the brain that I had to get out. Self indulgent.

Thinking about Harvey with a soft goth girlfriend who dresses like she could be scary, but she's actually the most least threatening person he's ever met.

You dress in all black, your boots look like you crush skulls for a living, and you wear spiked accessories like social deterrents, but you're just the sweetest thing he's ever met.

It's laughable to him, how people might perceive you one way when you're nothing like that. It reminds him of himself, or how he used to be, anyways. He's always been a bigger guy and looks pretty imposing, but he was never actually like that...unless driven to be. It's different now though, of course.

Dating you happened naturally as he found himself unable to stay away from you. Both sides of him liked watching the visible signs of you getting butterflies when he would be near you and though he'd never tell you, you gave him butterflies, too. He just couldn't stay away from you and he found himself having a soft spot for you.

You frequent all the oddity shops in Gotham so you've seen all sorts of things. The books you read are...interesting to say the least, he's peeked at a few titles. You're not bothered by the grotesque or the strange.

And you're not bothered by his scars.

He remembers the first time you looked at him, really looked at him. Right into both of his eyes and how you smiled.

Christ, he could never forget that.

His burns never bothered you and both sides of him immediately were attached to you because of this.

The first kiss you two shared made him so nervous. It was one thing to be around him and spend time with him, but physical intimacy scared him nowadays for obvious reasons. He hardly loves himself, so how could you? He was fully prepared for you to just kiss his cheek, maybe make an excuse if he were to make the first move, but you didn't.

You made the first move, cupped his face in your hands and kissed him, not bothering to work around his less than stellar half. Any doubts he may have still had about you, gone.

Your soft and kind demeanor brings out the gentleman side of Harvey and the protective side of Two-Face. Sure, his other half likes to scare you sometimes just for fun, sneaking up on you, stealing soft touches, grabbing you and pulling you to him when you least expect it, but if anyone else bothers you, luck will not be on their side.

He may not be the most gentle person, but with you he likes to try.

Harvey enjoys helping you in/out of your platforms, in/out of your corsets or whatever contraption of a garment you're zipped into, and he even offered to paint your nails for you once. He absolutely adores spoiling you with affection.

Harvey loves that your style is your own, but Harv is totally into it. When he's feeling festive with his split suits, he lets you help design them. Some designs are more fun with spikes and chain adornments and others are a bit more fancy with brocade and such.

Most of your interests he's not super into it, but he respects it. He's protective so you probably won't be able to go anywhere without him if he feels it could be unsafe.

If you want to go out dancing or to some niche concert, he'll tag along, though he'll hang back at a table and keep an eye on your from a distance, make sure no one messes with you. The scene isn't his jam, but seeing you have fun is enough for him.

Some of you provocative clothing is sure to get a reaction out of him, especially the fishnets. That's his weakness.

You always take him as he is so if you're ever nervous about how you look or how you're dressed, he's sure to hype you up as best as he can.

Sometimes he feels grateful for what happened to him, without the accident, he wouldn't have met you. With his new outlook on life, he can understand you better. He's positive that if he remained district attorney, living in the light, that he would have never given you the time of day and even if he did, he wouldn't know how to appreciate you the way he does now.

Your love for darker things helps him love himself, not by much, but enough that with you he isn't always doom and gloom or woe is me.

You being a romantic is not what he expected when he got with a goth gal. You like using the fancy dishes and lighting candles for dinner. You like flowers all over the place though they're usually dark in color. You like to cuddle with him and watch movies, not afraid to make contact with his scarred side.

You like watching a lot of monster movies which made him roll his eyes at first, but he would catch the way your eyes stay glued to the monster be it vampire, a werewolf, or a creature from the black lagoon. The soft dreamy sighs escaping you made him curious.

"You realize that they're the bad guy, right? Literally a monster, not human," he says. "They're just misunderstood," you explain. "And they just want to be loved like everyone else?" "Yeah, buut they mostly resort to extreme measures?" "I think..." she ponders, "it's because they understand what it is to lose something or be lonely. And they found someone who understands them and can see them, even though they aren't human. To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow. Or however that saying goes." She shrugs and pops a few pieces of popcorn into her mouth.

Watching you fawn over the the creatures in those films makes him feel better about himself, makes him feel like less of a monster, like he's still capable of being loved.

[oscar-fastri]

https://www.tumblr.com/oscar-fastri/741434686381883392/finding-out-nico-rosberg-attended-international?source=share

please elaborate on this, i'm very curious

hi anon!! so, here's some context first (from nico's wikipedia page)

i'm going to preface this by saying that this is based on my personal experience with international school and my interpretations of nico and his actions. this is in no way actually representative of his actual person or experience, i'm just a fan theorizing and analyzing :)

(this is continued beneath the cut because i got very rambly and long-winded)

a few things about international schools, particularly international private schools such as the ones nico attended:

it's typically parents from affluent backgrounds who send their children to these schools. think businessmen/entrepeneurs, celebrities, politicians, high-earning doctors/lawyers/etc, and yes, professional athletes.

it's very expensive. very, very expensive. ism's annual tuition starts at 8500€ and can reach 31200€, not including lunch or extracurricular activities (and if you don't participate in extracurricular activities like sports or clubs you'll be ostracized)

application processes are... interesting. yes, it's possible to get in on pure merit, but scholarships are few and far between and often decided arbitrarily. nepotism, money, and influence are very often stronger factors in a child's acceptance.

due to all this, it's a very insulated environment where your social circle consists almost entirely of other people from a similar social and financial background as you.

another effect is that there's typically a pretty small student body. international schools are often k-12 but can have as little as 200 students for all their grades combined, as opposed to public school, where it's quite easy for a high school (3-4 grades, depending on your educational system) to accept thousands of students.

students are therefore pretty hierarchical and, quite truthfully, malicious. social status is the currency in this environment because everyone is well-off. everyone has everything they could ever want, so how do you become more?

you become loved, of course—or at least as close as you can get to being loved in a place like this. or you become insanely successful, but then you'll be hated for shining brighter than everyone else.

you also guard everything you already have (popularity, beauty, reputation, resources, connections) jealously. you are possessive over what is yours because if you are not you will be left with nothing.

finally, true friends are few and far between. you're much more likely to make associations and alliances than actual, genuine connections.

(seem a little familiar yet? no? you don't think international schools parallel formula 1? okay then, let's continue)

now that i've finished psychoanalyzing this demographic, let's move on to nico, who:

grew up in this environment on top of competing in karting from a young age

was famously known for being pretty

was also famously known for being nice(r)

actually shared his resources with one lewis hamilton as a child

speaks five languages. random, but when you learn so many languages, you pick up things from people around you. you become malleable, in a sense. the way you think and the way you perceive the world is multi-faceted and has been shaped and reshaped so many times. (*cough* personal experience *cough*)

refused to be defined by his father's legacy, yet was always shadowed by it

was extremely cautious around the press as a young driver. he knew how to protect himself from those who were out to hurt him, not physically, but his reputation, psyche, emotional state, etc. i've found that most formula 1 drivers take at least a season to realize this and learn, but nico knew from the beginning

was notably a careful driver

genuinely believed he could keep a good relationship with lewis once they were teammates and given championship-challenging machinery

when everything went to shit, he put his head down and basically changed his entire lifestyle to make sure he would win

did everything he could to win. everything. there's a reason why lewis still seems to be traumatized from 2016, and it's not just because he lost the wdc. do you see him avoiding max? not really, but he's admitted to running away from nico in the lobby of his place in monaco (oh, did i mention that they're still living in the same building?)

retired once he had achieved his goal of winning the world driver's championship

retired before the title could be taken from him, because no matter what anyone says, having something taken from you is different from giving it up willingly. now, he gets to keep a piece of his victory that will never be tarnished by defeat

did not tell toto about his retirement in person

did everything he could to win his wdc

but also still considers lewis as his best friend

is once again living in the upper echelons of society, raising his daughters with his wife, the picture-perfect wdc who left with his head held high and is now enjoying the fruits of his labor

we see so many other wdcs continue to fight, to try to hold on to that glory. lewis, seb, nando—their golden days are arguably over, yet they won't stop until their bodies force them to. nico, on the other hand, left, something that seems impossible for any other driver.

i think it is because he grew up in privilege. he has always had something to fall back on. even if he fails, he will always be nico rosberg, formula 1 racer, son of world champion keke rosberg (who won his wdc in very unusual circumstances). if anyone else fails, they would have been a failed formula 1 driver first and foremost. he may have disliked comparisons with his father, but that doesn't mean they didn't protect him in a way.

that's not to say that nico didn't fear defeat just as much as anyone else or that he didn't crave the title. i don't deny that he wanted it just as much as anyone else and that he fought for it with everything he had. i hold a lot of respect for him for what he went through during those years.

it's just that nico, once he had it, no longer felt the need to keep chasing the high, especially when it comes with the risk of flaying himself open again. why would he do that, when he's already experienced it for the first time, when it's the purest?

there's a kind of hunger that only comes when all you have is racing, a kind of hunger that people like nico rosberg will never know. this is the hunger that sebastian vettel, fernando alonso, and lewis hamilton, who all came from less fortunate backgrounds and never had the perspective that nico has, will always have in them.

(some may ask, now, then why is max verstappen not like nico? why is he not satisfied yet? i contend that his father's way of raising him has instilled an even keener and rawer version of this hunger in max. also, he's already hinted at leaving in 2028. max and nico are the two sides of the coin that is being the formula 1 driver son of a formula 1 driver. ironically enough, they both clawed their first championship from the myth and legend that is lewis hamilton, triumphing over him in the dying moments of a season, but not before giving everything they had.)

on the other hand, the fact that nico was able to regard lewis as a friend for so long, even when they were competitors, and is still calling him his friend today, speaks volumes to me about his character. there are few people who are capable of experiencing the things he has and keep their heart open, if guarded.

hell, even keke rosberg barely trusted lewis in the early days of their friendship, but nico welcomed him in with open arms and still defends and praises him to this day.

however, there is also very few people who could have done everything he did to win—mind games, hard racing, burning a decades-long friendship to the ground (from both sides)—and not run away screaming whenever they hear lewis' name. i wonder what went through his head during that year and right after.

i just find it fascinating how this little piece of information sheds so much light, at least for me, into nico's character. he has layers! like an onion! isn't he neat?

(i wrote this at 1am please forgive any unhingedness)

[inchidentally]

https://x.com/safeforlando/status/1750936311563723024?s=20

I don't need to add anything. The best driver duo on the grid without a doubt <3

you're so right to say there's nothing more to say, anon. and yet ! lol

(behind a cut so no one can think I'm literally reporting facts here or that I'm living and dying by my own weird and pointless takes I'm just enjoying over-analyzing for fun)

(I am fully switching off RPF/narrative here)

so temporarily switching off friendships or any kinds of ships and focusing solely on driver partnerships, I love how certain Lando's always been about what Oscar has done for his (Lando's) performance. I think this is where age and generation play some part bc Carlos and Daniel are both firmly in the same age group and separated from Lando to a certain degree bc of that. they both viewed Lando as a little brother type of teammate and their careers were never perceived by themselves as especially tied to McLaren or to Lando. they'd both kind of become the lone wolf type by then which is honestly how most drivers have to be. (even moreso in the Max/RB dominance era)

whereas Lando isn't just toeing the line by saying he's a big team player, he adores working in groups in absolutely every area of his professional life and even having hobbies that put him with a minimum of 3-4 people. he also needs to feel the safety of a support network to be at his best. he's the very opposite of a lone wolf. hell, he literally said 'it took an actual village to raise me'.

he very intentionally developed the shared interests with Carlos and Daniel to create those kinds of bonds and familiarity (that's The Lando Effect). and while it's too much of a leap to say for sure, I think it's likely - at least at the start - that Lando felt like they might each have been his teammate for longer than they were. either way, the shared hobbies and friendly bonding didn't really translate to his time time spent with them in team meetings, speaking to the engineers or in development back at the factory. Lando has said he and Carlos were on completely different planes of experience and ability and Carlos was one foot out the door after what, the first year? and well, we know the lack of synchronicity between Lando and Daniel as drivers that started to set in not long after that first season together.

so when it was announced Lando's next teammate would be a rookie and also younger than him, he didn't really hide that the swapped dynamic worried him - even if he was half-joking. and then Oscar being so quiet and independent a person definitely threw him. he even describes their pre-season interactions as friendly but only really having time to say a few words. Oscar had his own work cut out as a rookie (and as we found out, wanting to prove himself most to the engineers and folks at MTC) and Lando already had a full life running alongside his racing career.

and it sounds all projection-y and armchair psychology to say this but genuinely it's clear to state that unlike the usual PR push that a lot of new teammates partake in, Oscar's been notably disinterested in any of that - not even just overplaying a friendship or a bromance with Lando for the sake of the cameras. that's an especially unusual choice for someone who could really have used the Lando Effect boost to his own image after contractgate with Alpine and the hoards of Ricciardo fans/McLaren fans ready to hate someone they saw as a snake or a pretender (usually both). especially considering Oscar pre-F1 was extremely active on social media and had his own viral moments and a much more colorful, fun personality than what he's allowed F1 fans to see so far - it was a pretty deliberate choice to not carry that over right away to selling the partnership with Lando.

we might be able to glean through the murk of Netflix's highly questionable editing of this upcoming season of DTS how much was really going on behind the scenes between Lando and Oscar around this time. but it really seemed like Oscar was more focused on letting his loyalty to the team and his own driving do all the talking (and Mark Webber often said as much). when you compare a lot of those early Lando and Oscar videos and challenges to his Prema ones, he's so unusually quiet and reserved. so he had absolutely no interest in trying to sell himself as a persona or a character to F1 fans. he was perfectly sweet and polite! and boy, did Lando enjoy having someone with endless patience for him lol.

but it's very marked how, despite whatever was or wasn't developing between them as teammates, Lando has consistently always said the same as he has here about Oscar being so talented and giving Lando that "push" and how "you hate and you like it" bc it made him (Lando) take his own driving to the next level. that healthy competition and 'wow, this guy is bringing it' seemed to strike him immediately. Lando can't lie for shit so if he'd found Oscar to be a crappy teammate in any way there's no way he'd be able to choke out any praise for him even for the sake of the team alsgfljasgfa.

and I liked that here in I think March? he said how he planned to get Oscar into all his own hobbies and bring him out of his shell, but apart from one last minute invite to golf that never really happened. we know they spent a fair amount of down time together but it was always mentioned in passing rather than posting about it online or having anyone film it (that we know of yet). the reason I like it is because Lando went on to say how Oscar has reminded him by example to "keep calm and be yourself". and in this interview he'd said how he considers himself and Oscar to be pretty similar people in terms of their approach to their F1 careers. so instead of them bonding through hobbies and interests or both of them being chatterboxes, I think they bonded (if that's the word?) over not being stereotypical extroverted drivers in terms of their personalities and also that they've so adamantly never wanted to have driver in-fighting make life harder for their teams (and themselves). plenty of guys from F2 and F3 can attest to that for Oscar and of course there's The Lando Effect as far as Lando's concerned.

you could almost say they both needed to be teamed up with the other bc for all that Oscar projects Just a Guy, he also finds himself incredibly awkward when it comes to everything about his job outside of racing the car or talking about the car. Lando's just as much the same but he's learned to charm his way through it. he's still awkward as hell even in Quadrant promo videos and he's been doing those regularly for years now, and with all his friends there! they're both enough off-center that they either need an extroverted teammate to lean on or in their current situation, someone who can sympathize.

which I think considering how much loyalty to the team and a sense of 'home' and consistency are for Lando, it makes all kinds of sense that Oscar was the teammate to show up and really form that partnership that he considers to be 'the strongest' on the grid.

they're the same generation, have the same ethos when it comes to their racing careers and Oscar not only went through a court case to get to McLaren he then extended his contract to 2026 the second McLaren made the offer. Lando's got stability as well as a serious challenge from Oscar. he's more poised than ever for that win(s). and now I just hope he listens to Oscar in other ways like not self-flagellating in front of the cameras so much and focusing on where he has done well.