#it's just. at this point in life matilda is such an inherent part of my being it feels like they're touching a part of my soul.

[grusinskayas]

being actually severely affected by the matilda film coming out in less than a month like whenever i remember it exists (happens all the time) i just feel my anxiety going up (no joke i'm being very real about this) so BDJvdbfjshHehj it's been a fun time.

[mszegedy]

30 Days of Autism Acceptance 2020: Days 1-10

This is a list of questions by @autie-jake (full list here), where you’re supposed to answer one per day for every day of April. I learned about it a few days into April and intended to start doing it but I forgot, I guess, or maybe decided against it. But I wanna do it now, so here’s the first ten days really quick.

April 1: Introduce yourself. Talk about who you are as a person.

This is kind of a hard question for me. I think my younger sister (by 3¾ years) would say this, if she just made a new friend the same age as her and she asked about me:

“Well, she goes to college, but she’s graduating this semester. She does something with proteins, but honestly she should really be a linguist. I actually really hate discussing linguistics with her, because she gets so annoying and overbearing about it. I don’t understand why she’s doing whatever she is. She’s a pretty weird person. She has all sorts of problems with, like, depression and amnesia and stuff. Oh, but, she’s trans, so, like, that’s a thing, yeah. I don’t like talking about most things with her because she thinks she’s always right. And also, she’s kind of mean to our mom. I don’t know why she does that. But at the same time she’s, like, really sensitive, and will be offended by the stupidest things. Okay, this is making it sound like I don’t like her, but I do, okay? She’s my sister, of course I love her. We’ve bonded a lot. She’s moving to DC in October, so we’ll be able to hang out during the school year, and that’ll be really fun. I think I’m just a little fed up with her right now from having to live with her for a whole month.“

April 2: Post your red instead selfie today! Alternatively, you could talk about why you choose to go redinstead and what it means to you.

I don’t know what “redinstead” is. I googled it and it sounds like you wear differently-themed stuff from what’s recommended by Autism Speaks, to dunk on them. Like a lot of people, I’m stuck inside this April, so there’s no point in me wearing pride clothing, because nobody will see it. But I do disapprove of Autism Speaks, because they don’t treat autistic people like people, and they try to spread that ideology. If you trick them into thinking you’re a person first, they won’t change their mind; instead, they’ll say you’re not autistic. People defend them by recounting the problems that nonverbal autistic people face, as though nonverbal autistic people have an inherently worse neurotype than everyone else, and not just one that’s more difficult to accomodate for society, and as though that justifies the abuses levied against them by Autism Speaks. I could go into details, but I won’t, because it would be emotionally draining for me as a writer, and you as a reader.

Suffice to say, I love being autistic. It has inspired a lot of people to treat me very badly, and probably led to a degree of abuse and neglect in my childhood that resulted in dissociative identity disorder. But all of my autistic traits are things that I love about myself. I like how emotionally expressive my stims make me. I like how I’ve learned to dissect a lot of social stuff and I can explain it. I like how I can just dispense with all of that social stuff around autistic people. Hell, I think it gives the neurotypical people I hang out with some relief, too, when I’m straightforward and explicit all the time. I like how good I am at linguistics, and how I can use it as a way to relate to the world.

April 3: Talk about special interests. Do you have any? What are they? How long have you had them? What does it feel like to have special interests? What does having special interests mean to you? Talk about your past special interests

My special interests are unusually slow burns. I’ve had linguistics-related special interests for the past ten years. They’re peripherally useful for language learning, but mostly I’ve just accumulated academic knowledge. They’ve, however, also led me to reconnect with my Ugric heritage culture, which is very important to me. (It wouldn’t be important to me if language weren’t my primary way of relating to the world; paradox?)

I have a wide variety of other interests, but few of them are really “special”. As a kid, my special interest was marine life. Unfortunately, I haven’t retained much of that, although I do have the privilege of having a diver’s license, which I’ll use again someday when I pass better naked. I also briefly had a special interest in… building computers, or something. I didn’t have the money to make anything particularly powerful (not that I had anything at the time to use computational power for), but I did run some workshops for middle-schoolers.

I think maybe my interest as a kid in Homestuck was special? It ran pretty deep, anyway. It’s hard to say, when you can’t remember most of your life.

April 4: Do you consider your autism to be an important part of your identity?

Because we have DID (or something like it), we don’t have an identity in the traditional sense. We do have a system identity, but that’s built around our mutual goals and guidelines. However, we’d be very sad to lose our autistic traits. Also, it might mess with the standard of consistency we’ve established for ourselves; we might not be able to predict our future actions, because losing our autistic traits may interfere with our ability to follow the aforementioned goals and guidelines, which are what help keep us focused and consistent.

April 5: Talk about your living situation. Do you live with your parents? Do you live on your own? Have roommates? Etc. If you live on your own how hard was it to get used to?

Right now, I’m quarantining with my mom, my sister, and my brother (who is actually my sister’s boyfriend), at my mom’s house. The mess that’s accumulating in the house is slowly causing my mom more and more stress, I think. I’ve never really lived on my own. For a lot of college, I lived with roommates or housemates, but I don’t think I was very good at that. Also, my mom lived nearby, and I stayed at her place on the weekends. The closest I’ve come to living on my own is watching my mom’s house for up to a few weeks at a time, and that wasn’t sustainable. (To be fair, what kind of house has a lawn? When I get a house with a lawn in the future, I will make sure that it’s a wild lawn that I don’t have to mow.)

The third to last time that I house-sitted for my mom, I ended up getting hospitalized for self-harm. It took her a while to let me do it again after that. Although, not a very long while, I guess. That was at the end of last September.

April 6: Are you able to drive? If you can, was it hard for you to learn? If not, what alternatives do you use, if any

I’m not able to drive. Driving is scary and difficult for me. I went through the motions of learning it in high school, but my track was interrupted by a move across state lines (I lived in the US at the time), and I never recovered. I’ve failed the NJ written driver’s exam, which grants you a one-year permit with restrictions, a total of roughly ten times. I’ve never been this bad at a subject; it’s like I have the opposite of a special interest in driving. A special lack-of-interest. My brain won’t retain any information about NJ driving laws whatsoever. It doesn’t help that I had a traumatic car crash when I was very young.

So far, I’ve just gotten my mom and coworkers to drive me places, or taken Ubers or trains. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that if I leave NJ, I’ll probably have to get a driver’s license. Although, I’ve already got a carpool set up at my next job in October.

April 7: Talk about autism in the media. Do you think that autism is typically portayed well? Badly? Is there anything you’d like to see more of when it comes to autistic representation? Who are your favorite autistic characters? Do you have any headcanons?

The media that I consume doesn’t really have autistic characters, so I can’t comment on how autistic people are portrayed, except that I’d like us to be portrayed more, period. I’ve only really seen us in teen dramas. To be fair, one of my favorite webcomics, El Goonish Shive, is a teen drama, and has a great autistic character (Susan). I’d say I identify with her, but not really. It’s very hard for me to identify with people, fictional or nonfictional, because my neurotype is greatly influenced by autism, DID, chronic depression, and gender dysphoria, and you don’t see combinations of traits in media that come even close to that.

Speaking of another teen drama, I wish I were half as cool as Matilda from Everything’s Gonna Be Okay. I guess that makes her my favorite canon autistic character, but that’s pretty easy, because I don’t know any other ones. I can’t say that I wanna hug her, because she doesn’t like that, but her general substitute for hugs is dancing, and I can’t dance. I guess I’d learn how, to show my appreciation for her.

Archer from Archer is probably autistic. I like him a lot.

April 8: What are some misconceptions/stereotypes about autism that you hate?

“Hating” is not something I can really do, even when it’s recommended to do it. I haven’t been open about my autism, so I haven’t been exposed to too many misconceptions or stereotypes about it firsthand, anyway. I guess if I had to pick, it would be whatever made my dad call me autistic as an insult and use a bunch of ableist slurs at me a whole lot. I don’t know how he understands autism, however. He doesn’t seem to realize that he has it himself. (It’s not usually one’s place to diagnose other people like that, but one of the most degrading things that my mom says to me very often is that I’m exactly like my father. He even has some traits that I don’t, like touch-aversion and samefoods.)

April 9: How sensitive are you when it comes to touch? Are you pro hug or anti hug?

I’m hyposensitive. I’m really losing it here under this quarantine. I had a girlfriend who always made me feel so respected whenever she responded to my touch-based needs, by squeezing me, hugging me, or otherwise cuddling me very tight, but then she broke up with me because of my mental health issues, and because her parents hated me and her friends were made very uncomfortable by me.

April 10: Do you have trouble understanding when someone is being sarcastic or joking?

It depends. I think I’m as good at it as I’ll ever be, and my false negative rate is under 0.5 (and my false positive rate is very low, but not 0). But I don’t think the same thing goes on in my head as in neurotypical people’s heads when I determine something to be a joke. I almost explicitly do a Bayesian calculation; “Based on what I know about this person and this context, how well can I imagine them meaning this statement unironically in this context? How well can I imagine them meaning this statement ironically in this context?” It’s pretty automatic now, but sometimes it doesn’t work very well, when I’m not so familiar with the person and/or the context, and occasionally the intended interpretation of the statement.

[black-metallic]

A Complete List of Songs Featuring Syd Barrett

Syd Barrett is one of rock music’s most enigmatic characters. He was Pink Floyd’s leader in the late 60’s and was instrumental in getting the band to the levels of popularity they attained in the 70’s. However, he was present for none of that long-term success, as he started suffering from severe mental problems in late 1967, which ended up leading to his dismissal from the band in early 1968. Throughout 1969 and 1970, he made many solo recordings, which would be collected on the two albums The Madcap Laughs and Barrett. But they were rather haphazard and hasty in arrangement, and consequently not very polished. After 1970, his activity in the music scene became even more sporadic. He recorded a few demo tracks in 1971, played in a short-lived Canterbury based band known as Stars in 1972, and recorded a few more demo tracks in 1974. Then, after that last demo session, he completely retired from music, not making a single additional recording for the rest of his life. And he only started recording music in 1965, meaning that he was in the music scene for less than 10 years.

Nevertheless, within those 10 years or so (and really only between late 1966 and 1970), the music he did create was unique, even for the time. Most 60’s British psychedelic rock went in one of two directions. The first was heavily inspired by The Beatles, being heavily layered and somewhat experimental (at least for the time), yet still very poppish and often simplistic in style. The second was heavily inspired by Cream, being harder and more blues influenced, but rarely too experimental. Syd Barrett’s music definitely had elements of both of these approaches, but it was also significantly more experimental than other contemporaneous music. This is rather surprising considering his music was very popular when he was a member of Pink Floyd, their song See Emily Play reaching number 6 in England.

Between this unique inherent dichotomy in his music (i.e. between his poppy and experimental sensibilities), the fact that he was once a member of Pink Floyd, and the fact that his mental issues colored a lot of his later music (something that wasn’t really paralleled at the time), Syd Barrett’s music has obtained a rather large fanbase over the years. However, because all his music was recorded from the late 60’s to the early 70’s, plenty of it is still obscure (and some of it is even lost) and even big fans of his music frequently miss out on a number of gems.

In this post, I will go through every studio recording Syd Barrett plays a part in, and a good portion of all the live shows he plays a part in as well (I have generally chosen to neglect short one or two song performances Pink Floyd often did on BBC at the time). This includes everything from album songs to alternate takes to obscure once-recorded songs in demo quality, and even songs that were only recorded live and songs he performs on that were released outside of Pink Floyd and his own name. While not truly complete, this goes through just about all the points, and just neglects a few side things for length’s sake.

Pink Floyd

Pink Floyd formed in 1965. In the very beginning, they had two guitarists, Bob Klose, who played lead guitar, and Syd Barrett, who played rhythm guitar. They made one recording in this lineup, which featured six songs in a typical mid-60’s British R&B style, rather separated from anything Pink Floyd would do in the future. In fact, I’m a King Bee is actually a cover of a Muddy Waters song. One anomaly here is Walk with Me Sydney, a song more in the typical mid-60’s English pop style. The full list of songs here are

Lucy Leave

Double O Bo

Remember Me

Walk with Me Sydney

Butterfly

I’m a King Bee

Bob Klose left Pink Floyd the same year they formed, and Syd Barrett became the lone guitarist for the band. Between this point and when they started recording their first album, they made a number of recordings, but most were rather uncoordinated and small in scope. Among the more interesting tracks is an early version of Interstellar Overdrive recorded in late 1966 that is 15 minutes long and as experimental as the album version.

However, Pink Floyd did do two major things before they released their first album - they released two singles, Arnold Layne and See Emily Play, both of which made it rather high on the English charts and would remain Pink Floyd’s most popular singles for a long time. They also released three other non-album singles/B-sides in 1967. Candy and a Currant Bun is somewhat similar to the style that Pink Floyd’s music had in 1965, but which considerable added psychedelic influence. Paintbox is another anomaly, being the first song keyboardist Richard Wright wrote alone for Pink Floyd, as well as the first song that features him on lead vocals. The non-album singles Pink Floyd released that Syd Barrett played on, including those the band released after the release of their first album, are

Arnold Layne

See Emily Play

Apples and Oranges

Candy and a Currant Bun

Paintbox

In August 1967, they released Piper at the Gates of Dawn, which features these songs

Astronomy Domine

Lucifer Sam

Matilda Mother

Flaming

Pow R. Toc H.

Take Up Thy Stethoscope and Walk

Interstellar Overdrive

The Gnome

Chapter 24

The Scarecrow

Bike

By the time their follow-up to Piper at the Gates of Dawn was being recorded, Syd Barrett’s mental issues were becoming more and more apparent. While he was kicked out of the band before A Saucerful of Secrets was released, he features on three of the album’s songs, including one (Jugband Blues) where he plays lead vocals. These are

Remember a Day

Set the Controls for the Heart of the Sun

Jugband Blues

Other studio songs Pink Floyd recorded with Syd Barrett include In the Beechwoods, a jazz-styled song that calls back to their R&B roots but performed in a psychedelic manner, Vegetable Man and Scream Thy Last Scream, songs that were initially slated to be singles but were discarded for not seeming commercially viable enough, John Latham, an experimental psychedelic instrumental track that was recorded nine different times, each time being sizably different from the last, Let’s Roll Another One, an early version of Candy and a Currant Bun that was scrapped due to the song’s title and lyrics featuring too overt drug references, and Experiment, another instrumental improvisation that is often incorrectly called Sunshine. The full list is

In the Beechwoods

Vegetable Man

Scream Thy Last Scream

John Latham (Versions 1-9)

Let’s Roll Another One

Experiment (Sunshine)

Recorded live performances of Pink Floyd with Syd Barrett are very rare. Only four complete shows were recorded, three of which were in poor quality (the vocals are essentially unintelligible). There were also a number of short, not particularly interesting BBC and radio performances they did in that time. Songs played live but never recorded in the studio include Reaction in G, an experimental song that was written as a “reaction” to fans always requesting that they play See Emily Play, as well as One in a Million, an almost proto-metal track, whose riff would inspire the main riff in Corporal Clegg. The other complete recorded show, which saw a release in 1990, is in better quality, and is composed of the two songs Pink Floyd contributed to the film Tonite Lets All Make Love in London. It features the definitive version of Interstellar Overdrive and the unique track Nick’s Boogie, a jazz fusion influenced song written wholly by drummer Nick Mason. There’s also Green Onions, a short song done during one of their BBC performances. The full list of songs exclusively played live is

Reaction in G

Nick’s Boogie

Green Onions

One in a Million

Finally, there are several alternate takes and interesting demos performed in the studio that were either only released upon a subsequent rerelease of the album or were never official released at all. These include

Interstellar Overdrive (Take 2)

Matilda Mother (Alternate Version)

Interstellar Overdrive (Take 6)

Interstellar Overdrive (31 Oct 1966 Demo)

Solo

Now, as discussed earlier, Syd Barrett did not leave music immediately after leaving Pink Floyd in early 1968. He remained rather active for another three years, and he recorded music a bunch of different times over those three years. The first album he released in this period, appropriately titled The Madcap Laughs, features disparate cuts from these recordings. The album features these songs

Terrapin

No Good Trying

Love You

No Man’s Land

Dark Globe

Here I Go

Octopus

Golden Hair

Long Gone

She Took a Long Cold Look

Feel If It’s in You

Late Night

The second and final album he released, titled Barrett, was again collected from cuts from different recording sessions he did. The album features these songs

Baby Lemonade

Love Song

Dominoes

It Is Obvious

Rats

Maisie

Gigolo Aunt

Waving My Arms in the Air/Never Lied to You

Wined and Dined

Wolfpack

Effervescing Elephant

In 1988, a compilation album of sorts titled Opel was released. It featured a number of previously unreleased songs, alongside some alternate takes of songs recorded for Madcap Laughs and Barrett. The previously unreleased songs on Opel include

Opel

Dolly Rocker

Word Song

Swan Lee (Silas Lang)

Birdie Hop

Let’s Split

Lanky (Part One)

Milky Way

Other songs that he composed but that never made it to any of these three albums include Rhamadan, a 20-minute avant-garde jazz rock piece that only someone with the mind of Syd Barrett could have composed, and Two of a Kind and Bob Dylan Blues, both simplistic folk-like songs with repetitive acoustic guitar licks. He also did a solitary demo of some new songs in 1974, but all of them were at best half-completed compositions. Nevertheless, for completeness, all the songs from that session are included (they comprise all the songs from the fourth one down in the following list). The full list is

Rhamadan

Two of a Kind

Bob Dylan Blues

Boogie #1

Boogie #2

Boogie #3

If You Go #1

Chooka-Chooka-Chug-Chug

If You Go #2

Untitled

Slow Boogie

John Lee Hooker

Fast Boogie

Now, there are only three surviving concert-esque performances featuring solo-era Syd Barrett. The first is the Peel Session recordings he made on 24 February 1970, where he recorded five songs. The second is a set of recordings for an unaired episode of the show Sounds of the Seventies, where he recorded three songs. And the third is the only explicitly live performance on this list, where he performed a show at the Olympia Exhibition Hall in London on 6 June 1970, where he played four songs, after which he abruptly walked off the stage, never to return. He performed no new songs at any of these performances (except Two of a Kind, which was only played for the Peel Session).

Further, there are several alternate takes and interesting demos performed in studio that were either only released upon a subsequent rerelease of the album or were never officially released at all. These include

Octopus (Takes 1 and 2, and 20 July 1968 Demo)

It’s No Good Trying (Take 5)

Love You (Takes 1 and 3)

She Took a Long Cold Look at Me (Take 4)

Golden Hair (Takes 5 and 6)

Love Song (14 July 1970 Demo)

Dominoes (Takes 1 and 2)

Rats (Demo)

Wined and Dined (Demo)

Gigolo Aunt (Take 9)

Clowns and Jugglers (Take 1)

Effervescing Elephant (Take 2)

Baby Lemonade (Take 1)

Waving My Arms in the Air (Take 1)

I Never Lied to You (Take 1)

It Is Obvious (Takes 2, 3, and 5)

Finally, Syd Barrett also made a few appearances outside of Pink Floyd and his solo work. His first venture of this type was with Kevin Ayers, formerly of Soft Machine, where he recorded a guitar part for the single Singing a Song in the Morning, with associated B-side Eleanor’s Cake (Which Ate Her), in 1970. Then, in 1972, he played with a local Canterbury band called Stars a few times. The band only performed live, and he only played a part on the songs Drinkin’ That Wine, Number Nine, and Gotta Be a Reason. Like the earliest lineup of Pink Floyd, Stars had two guitarists. Syd Barrett was again the rhythm guitarist, and his guitar can be differentiated from the fact that it is extremely muddy and chaotic. The full list of songs of this type is

Singing a Song in the Morning

Eleanor’s Cake (Which Ate Her)

Drinkin’ That Wine

Number Nine

Gotta Be a Reason

[s1mpl3souls]

2 (if you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?)

@enjolrastbh

Ooh, I'd really love to meet Aaron Tveit! He just seems so nice and kind; failing that, Samuel Barnett or one of my Internet friends.

17 (what was the last lie you told?)

Just some trash about me being perfectly fine.

20 (what's your greatest strength? Your greatest weakness?)

My greatest strength is probably my determination, especially for things that I want or justice. My biggest weakness is my naïvete - I believe too much in the inherent good of humanity, which doesn't always end well.

24 (do you have a collection of anything?)

Other than broken dreams? Pokémon Cards and books.

54 (what's the last thing you purchased?)

I got cute Lego keyrings for my friends!

67 (what were you doing last night at 12AM?)

Sleeping.

76 (in your opinion, what makes a great relationship?)

Truth, beauty, freedom and love!

The ability to trust the other person/people. Loving to do things together and talk to each other.

92 (you can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?)

Hm... I'm not actually sure! Maybe part of seeing Matilda on Broadway?

99 (if the world were listening to you right now, what would you say?)

Alright, everyone. I know that peace may seem impossible - you have too many disputes with your enemy, you may protest. But I promise you, if you put down your guns and begin to talk, it will seem a lot closer to reach for.

[ecotone99]

[SF] Matilda and the Race of Atalanta

Matilda grew exhausted from the continued battles the mounted upon her back: each task labeled urgent: twenty-twenty. She had other shit to attend to, as her job was that of a science teacher for her homies preparing for University. She called her scholars Doctors: as they each shook her hand for attendance and began to value their ability to fall ahead of the academic curve. She provided them with logic, and ensured they appreciate the campus they called battlefield: for Matilda herself would always be jealous she, herself could never afford to call herself an Aggie. Matilda gave them tools and lectures to take as they wish: believing one of them would eventually be her boss under the Blue Shield of Hope. Such blind belief in the future often inspired her scholars: as true leadership could never be confined to an obscure number: labeled age. Matilda loved her occupation and continued to search for reasons, as to why elders doubted the bright potential offered by her hashtag “woke” scholar s and their ability to demand a better future.

Matilda held her MESA/Aggie folder close to her chest beneath her green journal: one filled with tasks, and the other with confidential mathematics and notes. Each of her bosses believing in her skills without wavering doubt: her ability to work as a defense contractor standing adjacent, to her ability to lecture teenagers to protect the environment that they were eagerly priming to inherent. Without such rationality: their future would be without Universities, or clean waters, as the Boar and his idiot...in charge of their education, would destroy their future over sneaky meetings. Laughing at the youth they held jealousy to: their temperament lined with privileged ignorance.

Matilda cracked her neck from side to side once more, and felt more annoyed than ever by this bitch named Betsy-Loo-Who: her stupid smile triggering to the teacher and woman swimming in student loan debt. She had once made light joke and pranked the woman by ordering her homie to set her atrocious yacht free from a port: her love for pranks appreciated by the Republic. She would just roll her eyes whenever the woman spoke: daydreaming the near future when Matilda would be freed from the non-zero, and free to bitch slap her stupid smile...from her stupid face, using only the fiction-laced book that she rubbed upon on the faces of srangers. Her need to force her religious terrorism upon the citizens: proof that she wished to burn down the world with her own privledge and ignorance.

Matilda didn't have time for this shit. Offended the woman began to illegally stealing her tax-returns: the heaping debt deferred by default, and her greed unable to be deterred by the law. Matilda took up weapons of silver and gold once more: forgetting the woman wouldn't really be missed, and her aging life already nearing its end. Matilda had often warned her scholars of these dangerous elders and their instability, as the “adults” that called themselves citizens: voluntarily covered their eyes with static and took the lashings provided by their elders like bitches, wee and simply delighted to be a part of history. Matilda glared at her weapons with disdain for her scholars parents: wondering which of the idiots had voted for the Boar that stood crowned king. She took her glasses off at last: glaring at everything but the citizens, and began to laugh at their need to break their necks to stand in her view. She looked away as her Papa had taught her: for these pale dead-eyed savages still argued if the past had actually occurred. Their ability to grow enraged by the fact that equality were needed for a few of the citizens: needing proper nutrition, and safe places to learn and heal. Matilda had once almost fell to suicide: battling intergenerational trauma alone and writing a manuscript that served as proof of one solution that could contrubute to helping others reclaim their personhood. Matilda yelled at these citizens at last: saying only “ya’ll be normalizing these demagogues by acting like it didn't happen, and trivializing my own personal struggles by demanding I stay silent when addressing history...keep your shitty Genocidal fall holiday, but don’t act like I’m not allowed to call you out on your ignorance.”

She laughed at her citizens: forgetting her royal status meant she were expected to hold a polite demeanor at all times...in the rational fear of looking like a tyrant. Matilda knew the power of her words, as she had once introduced herself to a tall elderly Presidential candidate: his inability to say or yell anything at the moment had meant he had seen her, and all of her nakedly rude glory. Matilda had her interns inform her that he were casually strolling down the street with his wife and bodyguard: in a false micro city prized for its fortune cookies, embedded within a city notorious for its blood soaked bridge. Matilda walked up to the man and tapped upon his back: only introducing herself as an Indigenous Princess and thanking him for his service. He seemed confused by her lack of joy, and so she introduced her kind friend Cal, and the pair said goodbye without the need to act starstruck or demand pictures with the tall man. Matilda needn't brag about their position working under the Blue Shield of Hope, as she noted that the man were annoyed by his own fame somehow. Matilda needn't boast of such things, enjoying her privacy and understanding that the elder was responsible for asking for a picture: a foreign diplomat playing government on her land without her permission. Matilda knew it were odd to be so monotone around political celebrities, and laughed as she left him on a corner: watching his moves closely, as he avoided bring solutions to her community, still sitting in dire ruins. She left thinking to herself in wonderment: hoping the man would choose to be on the right side of history and acknowledge the religious terrorists that continued to diminish her existence. Matilda didn’t feel the Burn, and so she continued looking for a leader to successfully pull her drowning citizens ashore, washed up and exhausted: finally ready to move into the future.

Matilda felt pressure to weigh in on the other elders: smiling with a conniving snare as she felt people ask: “what aboot Joe?” Matilda threw her arm in disgust: pshhh...what about Joe she thought, as the man were still mobbing around without accountability for the way he touched the citizens. Laughing, as he brought up his one African American friend at any chance he could: pretending the mere presence of his friend meant that he were special. Grandma Wanda had once said: “If you don't have at least one black friend in twenty-nineteen...then you are the problem.” Matilda laughed at her wisdom, as her tone bore no suggestion that she intended to apologize or end monologue by saying: Sykes. Such leaders were admired by Matilda, as she found her own way to yell at randoms: “this is not normal.” Matilda had been raised by women of colour, but only after informed the authorities that her false maternal figure, funded by the State: were a white supremacists and child abuser. The lady named Hera had clutched her one and only book, as she demanded Matilda admit she were stupid daily and forced her to eat insects when she refused. Such ugliness were the face of the nation, as the children with little hope often commited suicide before being granted personhood: never allowed to believe that the world could change, and their despiration mocked by citizens and their bullshit stigmas. Matilda had seen these citizens for all they were: watching as adults made definitive choices to abuse and neglect children...herself included, as they pretended that she was never destined to be a tax paying citizen in the future.

Matilda point at the slew of elders she denounced: hearing their rumbling chants once more: “what aboot joe?”...until she just shook her head in disgust. “Fuck Joe.” She stood atop the famed bridge painted with blood at last: yelling at the citizens to stop setting precedence for the albino snake that silently hissed his nomination. Matilda saw his fangs protrude as he grew restless in the grass: sitting in the shadow of the Boar. His ego had caught her attention, as he decided his name should be the same size font of the Boar: normalizing his perverse extreme religious views until the citizens became obsessed with the next election, and forgetting that a broken system didn't fix itself. The albino snake had tricked the citizens by calling himself the lesser of two evils, and silently hypnotized them to associate his whiteness with the flag indefinitely. He had his eyes on twenty-twenty-four, and has spent a thousand lives convincing the world she was a witch in each life. Such uglies were the things Matilda noticed in her daydreams: worried the citizens had forgotten that white supremacy came in many forms. She had no reason to lie to her citizens and so she set out to prove her point and destroy the albino snake...if only to ensure that there would even be a future.

Matilda did her battles in an unorthodox fashion, as there was no rational way to fight foreign religious terrorists. She informed them that she were a wizard...in a soft, crumpet filled tone: finally able to point at her own wings in pride and correct the snake that charmed them with words and attempted to rally her lyching. She laughed at her citizens as she pointed at the ground...politely reminding them: that they were guests that had overstayed their welcome. These citizens were like the drunkest guests at Christmas...avoiding leaving at all costs in their joyous privilege that they didn't have to clean up after the festivities, as they barfed all over her property and giggled. Matilda rubbed her temple in stress of the situation: leaving her own house to rot as she walked off-set indefinitely: instead of placing it under quarantine or cleaning their nasty shit for them. These were the mean-hearted things she thought whenever citizens imposed themselves with their religious nonsense, or attempted taking part of her journey: by throwing themselves in her path without organic introduction. Matilda were only peeved by privilege and dishonesty, as the citizens proved her right...time after time: that their selfishness were as blatant and intentional, as their ignorance.

Matilda found her target: wondering why he said so little. She approached him with caution: lying as she informed him of her intentions to join his “Space Force". He refused to look up to her from his bladed grass, and it forced her to pick him up and place him upon cement to be stepped on by the real politicians: busy attempting to avoid the nuclear war that the Boar kept hinting at. She said to him once more: “I work in science: specializing in human psychology and additive manufacturing. I’d like to join your stupid space force ma’am.” Unsure of the sex of the snake: knowing it would correct her if she were wrong, as fragile men often did. The snake finally looked up at her beaming smile and hissed in corrective tone: “It's the Space Corp, and my name is Mike.” Matilda didn't tolerate such disrespectful tone from her teenage scholars, and so she broke from her whimsical cheerleading character at last: stepped on his tail purposely. Matilda said to the albino snake: “Listen lady...I don’t know your life, I just wanted to follow up on this ad you posted for a job...don’t be acting like there isn't documented proof that you let the Boar set free. I’m just trying to Defend Our Protectors and make your amature branch safe: this ad has to be a fucking joke, because is appears to be a massive waste of our taxpayers dollars. I just figured you would need a specialist to make sure your idiots with weapons don’t lose their shit: the second they’re out of range of any jursidiction and openly raping each other in the future.”

The snake took offense to these statically backed assumptions, and began biting at her ankles in distaste to her few chosen words. She would always call it his Space Force, as she used the two words to make him leave the famed slab of wood he had burrowed in. The snake would squirm and cringe in annoyance whenever he had to say the two words in public: for he has let the Boar give his little project a name, and the boar had childishly chosen the title Space Force. The snake would attempt to wrap himself around her: adding pressure to her already destroyed spine, as she temporarily knelt down in pain. Matilda didn’t take kindly to unruly monsters attempting to fuck up her day: tying the beast to a nearby olive tree with her magical belt, named after Hippolyta. The belt could be seen across the galaxy, as it warned its neighbors of the snake that moved aboot. Both the charmed belt, and albino snake slithering and glistened violently. He could even be seen from the false star that orbited the Earth. Matilda beaded him some glittering wings, and watched as he hid himself away in fragile wood: annoyed by the citizens laughing with silent smiles and wondering whether his wife were actually a beard. It mattered none to Matilda, as she had politely paid her taxes and deserved to express her worry. Her two pence valued by the citizens: all curious to why the snake and Boar were above the law, and they held title that declared them law in actuality. The two were a miserable pair, and so Matilda tied the Boar to the olive tree: laughing at the evangelicals bicker and one always urinated on the other. The cursed olive tree caused this oddly specific habit: as one was aroused only by urine and the other agonized by false prudishness. Matilda yawned at last, as she were finally bored by the flames and chaos: taking breathe as she glared into the void once more. She hung up her magic purse with weapons of silver and gold as she lay to sleep at last. Proud that she had pulled herself into the moment, and left her wishes behind her, as she watched the citizens begin to kneel and hold hands. These few and brave had been the reason that her elders told her to push aside her bias to their sickly pale skin and dead-eyes, as they were once all lost at sea and fleeing religious oppression. These citizens, were simply people of the world: seeking refuge for their families. They had given up the lives they known fearlessly: running away from yesterday, and demanding a sustainable future.

Such lessons on empathy...were obviously never taught to the dead-eyed savages, and so Matilda gave them all the same last name: Donner. The party would disperse itselfs and declare gang colors with pride: all under scheme with the flag that they waved in the faces of their original homelands, and the spectators indifferent to their upside down banners. Matilda smothered the edge of the flame at last: knowing the citizens would never grant her blessed olive glow and mildly askew spine, with the title of citizen..let alone admit her personhood. Matilda would ask her friend Cat to walk with her outside, and introduced her to a character named August: his Beats explaining her agoraphobia without need for words, and breaking her curse at last. She used their bro time to explain how an American boy named beardy Gilgamesh had stepped away from holding her hand: the second she had informed his lustful eyes that her spine were crooked. Such boys were trash, and without apology: believing their company were necessary and forgetting their privilege was built directly upon her back. The boy held DUI and empty words, and Matilda had been hit by a drunk driver during her time studying at University. Matilda felt her heart crushed as she assumed he deemed disgusting beyond words, and returned his silence with pride...wondering what she had done wrong. She told herself that Odysseus and his mind games were too immature for her liking: secretly glad he and Kness would never have to meet, as he had mentioned his disapproval of the childish things Kness had said before he left her side. The Indigenous Warrior were busy being naked and perturbed by her absence: silently fixing all the things she broke throughout the day without her even asking. She watched as the women called old friends: gossiped of their status once more and bombarded him with trivial questions, as they demanded explanation. She smiled at their vindictiveness and avoided reaching for his hand in public: knowing it didn't matter, as he would never...not say yes to his MuMu. Matilda blushed as she noticed how she had written him an epic poem that were sincere and honest, and laid her head down to weep until he returned once more. Remembering him embracing her, and gently asking why she smiled gazing up at the stars: searching for her love with admiration and pride. Matilda had finally found herself once more, successfully fulfilling her labours by dancing and being herself with purpose. Matilda leaned upwards to the right...sealing her twisted manuscript with a kiss at last. She whispered to her sleeping giant her endless truths: smiling only because she proved herself worthy of the name Captain. Beaming as she took silver and gold tools to the supple surface of a mythical piece of wood: carving it into a fine canoe for her brave Argonauts. Forever confused by her own hopeless romantics: having fallen in love with her estranged love once more in the process of fulfilling her destiny. Matilda smiled because she looked forward to the idea of him taking knee once more, and wondering how much shit they could destroy together as equal partners in the very near future.

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