#it's nothing okay. The Tutorial is absolutely fucking nothing. i am NOT kidding when i say it's the sv equivalent to greasy fast food.

[dreameralive]

slenderverse fans will recommend you the world's most low quality junk food esque piece of media with no real themes or any sense of what actually makes something good or interesting, probably created by some 15-20 year old, who abandoned it after like 2-3 years. it's me i'm the slenderverse fan. read The Tutorial

[mediocre-writerr]

who do you love [lexi howard]

lexi howard x reader

requested: Hiii! I just discovered your page while looking for Euphoria fics. I saw that you don’t have any Lexi Howard fics. Could I request a fic where Reader is partnered up with Cassie for a project or something and they meet Lexi and develops a crush on her, but Lexi is clueless and thinks reader has a thing for Cassie? Fluff please. Also your works are absolutely amazing!

a/n: italicized are rue's voiceover

*not my gif*

Lexi has always lived in the shadows of her sister. Every guy or girl she liked just never fell for her. They always fell for her sister. Cassie was the one in the spotlight and Lexi was just the background character.

You sat there with your earbuds in as your teacher went on and on about some project you guys had to do. But again, you weren't exactly listening.

Until he came over and ripped your earbuds out of your ear. You looked up at him with innocent eyes, "Ms. Y/L/N, you're partnered with Ms. Howard. Hopefully, she'll be able to fill you in since you weren't paying attention,"

You sent him a small smile before trudging your way over to Cassie. You heard a lot of things about her, but you didn't really care what everyone thought around here. Most of them were assholes anyway.

"So were you paying attention to anything he was saying?" you asked as you plopped down into the seat next to her.

"Not a word, but my friend Kat heard all of it. If you want you can come over tonight, we can start working on it, getting it over with," she offered and you nodded. 

“Sounds great,”

You see this was the start of a beautiful friendship for Y/N and Cassie. They became as thick as thieves. Everyone thought that Y/N and Cassie would eventually get together, but the entire time Cassie was just trying to get her newly found best friend to admit feelings for her sister. 

And those feelings started, cheesy to say, but at first sight.

You knocked on the Howard’s door, bouncing on the balls of your feet. You didn’t really know how to feel, Cassie was popular and well you? Not so much.

The door swung open and you swore your jaw dropped all the way to the floor. You were met with the younger Howard sister. She was beautiful. Her beautiful brown hair fit perfectly with her fair skin.

“You must be Y/N?” she says, snapping you out of your daze.

“Yeah, that’s me. Hi, Lexi, right?” you asked, stepping into the house as she held the door open.

“Yeah. Cassie went out with Maddy, but she texted me and said she’s on her way back. You can come in, you don’t have to wait outside like a dog,” she joked and you laughed together softly.

The two of you sat together on the couch. Your eyes gazed to the TV to see her watching Crazy Rich Asians. One of your favorite movies of all time. The screen was showing the montage of Rachel trying on all the different dresses for the wedding.

“This movie is a masterpiece,” you tell her.

She nods, “This is my first time watching it and I’m completely sold,” 

“Oh, you haven’t even gotten to the best part yet. The wedding scene is-” you put your fingers to your lips and kiss them, “Chef’s kiss!” 

“Hmm, I’ll have to take your word for it,” she said.

You continued watching as the wedding scene started. Lexi’s eyes were glued to the TV, but yours kept drifting towards Lexi. The way she watched intently as Kina Grannis started singing “Can’t Help Falling In Love”.

The scene ends and she looks at you, tears boarded at her eyes, “Why am I going to cry?” she laughed.

“Because it’s one of the most beautiful scenes in history,” you told her. 

The two of you just stared at each other. Her doe brown eyes were captivating and you couldn’t help your eyes from drifting down to her lips. There was a moment where you thought she did the same thing. 

The door bust open filled with laughter and Cassie and Maddy’s eyes landed on the two of you, “Hey Y/N, sorry I’m late. I see my sister was able to keep you company,”

“Oh yeah, Lexi was great. It was nice meeting you, I’ll see you around,” you told her. 

You see, my best friend Lexi developed a crush on Y/N right after that. But despite me and Jules telling her constantly that she felt the same way, Lexi still thought that you fell for her blonde sister and not her. 

“Cassie! I am not telling your sister that I like her. She does not feel the same way that I do. I am not going to risk my friendship that I’ve built with her and you,” you told her as the two of you laid on the bed in her bedroom.

She looked at you with her blue eyes like you were on drugs, “Are you kidding me right now? You sound like you just bought something from Fez. I’ve never seen my sister look at anyone the way she looks at you. You need to stop being a fucking coward and just tell her how you feel,”

“Okay, what if she does want to be my girlfriend? What if something bad happens? I lose the both of you and I can’t do that. I don’t want you to choose between me and your own sister,” you whispered.

Your heads were slightly tilted towards each other as you just stared at her, “I think you need to take advice from your favorite movie: you’re not playing to win, you’re playing to not lose. So play to win. Don’t think about the what if’s and even if things go south with my sister, I found a sister in you. You’re not gonna lose me either,” she said, “You’re one of my favorite people in the entire world, possibly my favorite, don’t tell Maddy that though. I love you so much Y/N,”

Little did the two of you know that Lexi was at the door way. She didn’t hear anything besides that you’re Cassie’s favorite person and that she loves you. 

“Awww someone loves me,” you nudge her shoulder, “But I’m for sure going to tell Maddy that I’m your favorite person. She’ll have a field day with that one,”

She pushed your face away from her, “You will not! I’ll just tell Lexi myself then,” 

You gasped, “You wouldn’t dare!” 

“Then you do it!” she exclaimed. 

Lexi avoided Y/N after that day. She also avoided Cassie. The two girls didn’t know why the brunette Howard was avoiding them. All they knew was that she avoided them every chance that she got.

It broke Y/N’s heart. She was finally ready to tell Lexi how she felt. And now, she wants nothing to do with her. No more movie nights. No more random ice cream days. But rather, Y/N going over to visit Cassie and being disappointed when their mom would answer the door and not Lexi.

You finally caught up to her as she was trying to sprint past you in the hallway. You grabbed her wrist and she looked back at you. The first time actually seeing those beautiful eyes of hers in weeks.

“What did I do? I understand if you don’t want to talk to me. I understand if you don’t want to be my friend, but please just tell me what I did. That’s the least I deserve,” you whispered, your voice breaking at the thought of losing one of your best friends. 

She shook her head, “Nothing, you didn’t do anything,” 

“I obviously did something, you’re not talking to me!” you exclaimed. 

Lexi broke free of your grasp, “You don’t need me Y/N. You have my sister. Cassie always wins. She’s always been in the spotlight. She always gets the guys and girls. Everyone I’ve ever liked, she went for them. And she always wins. I just thought for once that I mattered. That for once, the person I fell in love with chose me, but I guess I was wrong,” 

She stormed away and you were left with your mouth agape. Everything she said twirling in your brain. You immediately told Cassie all of it and your brain worked together to try and figure out a way to win her back. Until it all finally clicked.

You stood outside in the backyard of the Howard’s house. A slip n slide was in the path leading to you, switch on candles. You sat on the opposite side with a guitar in your hand. Luckily, you can play. 

Singing on the other hand, well let’s just hope it goes well.

“Cassie, I already said I don’t want to talk to you! You can’t bribe me with Bob Ross tutorials!” Lexi’s voice echoed as she closed the backyard door. 

She spotted you sitting there and she was immediately about to go inside when you yelled out to her, “Lexi please! Just let me explain, it’ll take maybe three or four minutes of your time,” 

Lexi walked down the slip n slide, but not before falling on her butt and sliding towards you. You let out a roar of a laugh as she finally reached down to you. She tried hard to fight off a laugh and a smile, but you could see it faintly. 

When you finally came down from your high she looked at you with raised eyebrows, “Well, I’m waiting,” 

You started playing the guitar. The melody you learned just hours before playing from the guitar. You took in a deep breath as you started singing the infamous song that got you to fall in love with her in the first place. 

“So, take my hand, take my whole life too. For, I can’t help falling in love with you. For, I can’t help falling in love with you,” you finish the song.

The two of you look at each other as you place your guitar down next to you, “You do matter to me, Lexi. More than you know. I’m sorry it took me so long to tell you, but ever since the first night I met you I’ve always been in love with you,” 

“Cassie actually told me that I need to play to win. And if I had to slip on my ass a thousands times trying to set up this low budget recreation of the wedding scene in Crazy Rich Asians, I would. I did it because I need to win your heart, because Lexi, you already have mine,” 

A small smile breaks out onto her face as she closes the distance between the two of you. She kissed you ever so softly as you tasted the sweet taste of her lips. 

“And you have mine,” 

[brutal-nemesis]

Forest Day 2021: Un-cursing a Forest Tutorial (Gone Wrong)

Come into the woods with me, won’t you? I promise everything will be super normal and it’s totally not a little over 5k words hahahahahaha

Castys Masterlist

Ingredients: cannibalism mention, plant/animal/body horror (there is a lot of this and it is weird and kind of gross at times so this is your warning), acid burns, i use the word “pustules” multiple times, eye whump, gore, suicide for convenience

Castys woke up to darkness.

His head was pounding, so it was sort of nice, but much less nice when he tried to move and discovered his arms were tied behind his back. Upon further investigation, he realized he was gagged and blindfolded as well. 

Great.

He sat up and was just starting to try and get his gag out using his shoulder when a pair of hands grabbed him and hauled him to his feet. He tried to jerk out of their grasp, but a second person grabbed his other arm, and then it was all he could do to keep up as they hauled him to wherever. The ground changed from something solid feeling to something dirt-sounding, and then solid again after the creak of a door opening. 

“He’s awake, Chief.”

“Thank you. Just leave him and wait outside.” One of the men kicked the back of Castys’s legs, forcing him to his knees. He was tempted to get up once he felt their hands leave him, but he figured it would be best to just wait and see what the hell was going on for now. Once the blindfold was removed, he tried to look around, but a rough hand grabbed his chin, forcing him to look up at his captor, a strong looking woman with her dark hair in a complicated braid. She examined him with concern. “I didn’t think you would look this young.” Her free hand untied the gag, and she gently pulled it out of his mouth. “You are him, and not just some child, right?”

“Nope, just a child. A nineteen year old boy. Not immortal, so I think you’ve got the wrong guy.”

Her eyes narrowed. “I never said I was looking for an immortal.”

Castys opened and closed his mouth a few times, blinking. “I-okay that one’s on me. Hooray, you caught me.” He glared up at her. “Now what do you want?”

She let go of him, stepping back and crossing her arms. “I am Citlali, the chief of Nauhiliv’s Hollow. For centuries, my people have-”

“I’m not really in the mood for a history lesson, so just get to the-”

“Either shut up and let me talk or I will gag you again.” Castys rolled his eyes. “I promise it’s relevant, alright?”

“Fine.”

Citlali took a deep breath and began again. “For centuries, the people of Nauhiliv’s Hollow have lived as one with the forest, taking only what we need from its bounty, hunting and gathering from the lands around us. But now,” she looked away, “now the forest is...twisted. What was once a familiar place has become dark and horrifying, and they are now far too dangerous to hunt in. Everyone we have sent in to find the source of the curse has not yet returned.” She took a shuddering breath before looking back at Castys. “You, however, can’t die. So would you-”

“How much will you pay me?”

“Just...this.” She held up a small leather pouch, one that looked kind of like...Castys hurriedly looked down, feeling his stomach twist when he didn’t see the familiar string around his neck.

“You took my-give it back! How did you even find out about that?!” Castys fought to keep his voice even, his fists clenched behind him. That pouch was important to him, it had his rock that allowed him to kill himself easily and painlessly, and it also had...he just needed it, dammit.

“You’re apparently, ah, quite chatty when you’re drunk.” She twirled the pouch on her finger lazily. “So, if you lift the forest’s curse, you’ll get it back. And until then, my other half is going to keep it safe in a pocket dimension, where even a notorious thief like you can’t get to it.”

Castys’s face darkened. “That’s-if you wanted me to help you why didn’t you just, I don’t know, ask instead of fucking kidnapping me and stealing my shit?”

“Because I’ve heard tell that you’re a selfish asshole who definitely wouldn’t help us unless we paid you a ton of money or forced you to. And since we’re not exactly drowning in cash…”

Castys mulled it over for a moment, wiggling his hands against the ropes. “Yeah okay that’s fair. I still hate you, but that’s fair.”

Citlali rolled her eyes. “Are you going to do it, then? Because if not,” she stalked over and grabbed Castys’s chin tightly, forcing him to look up at her, “I could think of a different way you could help my people, immortal.”

“I promise you, I taste terrible.” Citlali flinched back, letting go of Castys’s face.

“What-no that isn’t-I meant I was going to sell you, idiot! That’s so-we’re nowhere near desperate enough to eat…” she shook her head. 

“Okay, sorry, I figured if you were desperate enough to kidnap me you were also desperate enough to want to eat me and my infinite flesh.”

“Those two are absolutely not the same level of-look, are you going to do it or not? Because if not I will sell you and keep your precious-” 

“I’ll go kill your stupid forest curse thing,” Castys sighed. “Being sold is super annoying, and escaping will be way harder without my rock.” He glanced back over his shoulder. “Can you untie me now?” 

“Do you promise not to try to run off? You won’t be able to get your pouch back by force, and this village is surrounded by these cursed woods except for a single, well guarded road, so there really won’t be any point in trying, anyway.”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it.” Castys got to his feet after she freed him, rubbing his chafed wrists as he looked down at his very empty belt. “You’re going to give me my sword back for this, right? I know I can’t die but fuck if I’m going in there without a weapon.”

“You can have your sword, and the small amount of supplies we can spare, once the sun rises and you set out. Until then,” she gestured to the door, “let Tlaloc and Meztli show you where you can sleep.” 

~~~

Castys took a deep breath as he looked up at the trees towering over him, gripping his pack tightly. They looked like normal trees to him, and he was sort of disappointed that they didn’t look...creepier? He expected this horrible cursed forest to look more horrible and cursed, especially with all the trouble that bitch went through to make him do this. He glanced back, but Citlali and the guards were still behind him, and she waved her hand at him to get going. Sighing, he started walking into the forest, hoping this whole “curse” thing was just some asshole wizard kids playing a trick. 

Soon enough, he spaced out listening to the forest sounds. The rustling of the wind in the branches, the chirping of birds, the faint screaming...wait what. No, yeah that was screaming or something. He looked around frantically for the source of it, just now noticing that the trees were...different, somehow. They sort of...shimmered, moving in a strange way. Cautiously, he approached the nearest trunk and studied it. It was...it was moving, the whole surface shifting and crawling, like it was covered completely in bugs. O-kay then. 

Moving on.

Castys wasn’t even sure what he was supposed to look for. That chief lady had really just sent him in here with the very helpful instruction of “fix it”, like he had ever un-cursed a forest before. He didn’t know where he was supposed to go, or...where he even was. He’d been trying to walk in a straight line, but the way behind him looked unfamiliar, as if the trees and plants had decided to move around while he wasn’t looking. Well, it appeared that wandering aimlessly was his only option now. Delightful.

Maybe he should do something as he walked along to help pass the time. Not that he didn’t mind walking around in nature, this place was just...he pulled out his rekara, twirling it between his fingers for a moment before putting it to his lips and blowing, tapping his fingers on the slender instrument’s holes to play a stupid little tune. It covered up the faint screaming sound quite nicely, and it eventually attracted a little bird, which fluttered down on a nearby branch. It was a very normal-looking one, with plain brown feathers and cute lil’ eyes.

When it opened its mouth to chirp at him, though, another scream rang out through the forest, so loud it sounded like it was coming from right next to Castys. Startled, he jumped a bit, stumbling back and tripping over a tree root or something, falling right on his ass. Frantically, he looked around for the source of the scream, but there was no one around him, as far as he could tell. “Anyone screaming out there?!” he called as he stood up, but he was met with silence. Well, not silence silence but just...nothing un-ambient. Maybe the trees were screaming. It could be a tree thing. 

The bird was still sitting there staring at him, and oh my fuck it’s the bird isn’t it-again, the bird opened its beak, and again, a horrible scream echoed around him. Well wasn’t that nice. A bird that screamed like a person. Castys slowly backed away, hoping the little thing’s only weird quality was the noise it made. Once he felt like he’d gotten far enough away, he turned and ran, and he was only running to cover more ground quickly, not because he was scared, no, a little unsettled, maybe, but not scared. 

He stopped to catch his breath after a few minutes, and as he stood there panting, he realized the forest around him had grown even more...strange. The trees actively waved in the air now, though there was no wind, and many of their branches hung limp, like they were made of cloth or something and not solid wood. Their bark still glistened and crawled, swirling into strange, mesmerizing patterns. The leaves of all the plants were different now, too, having taken on a sickly pink color, almost like...light-colored skin. Tasty.

Okay, yeah, something was obviously very wrong and cursed here, but he still had no clue what the fuck to do about it. He’s been hoping he could find...he didn’t know, something that looked like the source of it, like a very giant tree with a hole in it or perhaps a big magic crystal or an evil bear. But all around him were just normal sized haunted trees and no crystals and weird greenish mold and all the plants with their gross fleshy leaves-wait that mold or whatever was new. He crouched down and pulled out his knife so he could poke at it.

Upon closer inspection, it was like...little green pustules clustered together on the surface of the shifting tree bark. He used the tip of his knife to prod one of them, but it burst far more easily than he had been expecting, splattering greenish goop all over his hand, and it burned. Crying out, he dropped his knife and looked frantically around for water or something he could use to get this awful stuff off because dying wouldn’t make it go away so until he got rid of it somehow he was just stuck feeling it burn away his fucking flesh but there wasn’t anything here besides plants and more plants so it looks like that was all he was going to get-

With shaking hands, he grabbed a nearby leaf, shuddering at the fleshlike texture, the warmth, and wiped it desperately over his wounds, trying to scrape away the acidic sludge. It sort of worked, getting the larger clumps off, but he could still feel it eating his damn flesh, if only he had-wait he was a fucking idiot-he pulled out the waterskin Citlali had lent him, sloppily splashing water over his hand, gasping in relief as the pain lessened slightly. Obviously nothing was going to heal the wounds besides dying, but now he could actually do that without the acid continuing to burn him. He reached down into his shirt, feeling for the pouch containing his death rock, but...no, that’s right, he didn’t have it, he’d have to slit his throat like old times. Sighing, he wiped the acid goop off of his knife before turning it on himself.

Castys woke up very pleased to find that his hand no longer had holes in it, but when he saw the leaves he had wiped it on, his stomach twisted. The acid had burned right through them, and the holes were rimmed with red, dripping...it was blood, blood leaking from those fleshlike leaves. Quickly, Castys wiped off his knife and sheathed it, getting to his feet, ready to run the fuck away from those gross acid pustules. But...maybe it was a good sign that things were getting weirder, maybe he was getting closer to whatever the hell the source of all this was. So maybe he should…follow that stuff. It was the only sort of idea on where to go he had gotten this whole time, so it really was his only option, huh? He’d just have to be careful not to touch it. 

The streaks of green on the swirling tree trunks, which had darkened to a shiny black at some point, led him, allegedly, deeper into the forest. Wait, how was the green stuff staying in one spot while the trunk beneath it was shifting? That didn’t make any sense, not like anything did here, but still…physics. He studied the nearest tree for a moment, watching its surface move as the clump of acid bubble things stayed still. Though...he could see something between the cracks in the crawling trunk, something long and off-white, like...yup. Trees with bones. Lovely. Shaking his head, Castys resumed walking, deciding to just not question anything ever again. 

Things certainly got stranger as he continued. There was a pond where his reflection didn’t have a face, dragonflies with wings that looked like overgrown fingernails, and a herd of deer with skin and muscle so clear that all he could see were their organs and bones okay but what would clear deer meat taste like, so he felt like he was probably going the right way. When he heard a strange thumping sound, like something large walking around, he cautiously moved towards the source of it, poking his head out from behind a tree to see what it was. 

It was the ugliest, most disgusting horrible abomination creature thing he had ever seen. It’s main body was the same light fleshy color as the leaves, dotted with clumps of acid pustules, with a mishmash of vaguely humanoid limbs with all sorts of skin tones jutting out of its misshapen body every which way. And it had so many eyes all over, some frantically darting around, some focused horrifyingly on him. But the worst part were all the flowers sprouting it from it, not because they were flowers, but because these flowers had little white teeth in their centers, probably serving as the mouths for this thing since he didn’t see one anywhere else on it. Honestly, he wouldn’t mind cutting this thing to bits in the slightest, it was freaky. He stepped out and drew his sword, watching the monster warily as it shambled towards him. If this thing wasn’t the source of the curse, he didn’t know what would be.

Once it was within range, Castys slashed at it, wincing as a high pitched shriek rang out from one of the flower-mouths. He danced back as it swung at him with two of its arms, their hands reaching out to grab him. This kept on for a bit, him slashing at the monster and dodging its blows, though he’d occasionally make the mistake of slicing a clump of acid pustules, spraying himself with the corrosive substance. When he stopped for a moment to catch his breath, he noticed something...unfortunate. All the gashes he’d cut in the monster were slowly closing, healing that thing up like his attacks hadn’t even happened. He, on the other hand, was covered in acid burns and not sure how much longer he’d actually be faster than this thing. His healing was useless in a fight, since dying left him completely defenseless for a good minute or so.

He had to figure something else out some other-shit, he couldn’t stand still for very long, this monster just wouldn’t quit attacking him. He might have been safe in a tree, but all the ones in the area were pretty much completely covered in that acid stuff, so that was out of the question. Seeing an opening, he lunged, trying to stab one of those fucked up mouths, and he couldn’t help but feel a spark of relief as his blade sank in, knocking out some of its teeth. But his elation turned to fear as he felt something grab his ankle the same moment the mouth clamped shut around his sword. He tried his best to keep his grip on his sword as it yanked him up, but it slipped through his fingers, leaving him defenseless as the monster slammed him down onto the ground, his whole body lighting up in pain. 

Over and over, it smashed his body against the ground with inhuman strength. All Castys could do was scream as he felt his bones break, their sharp edges piercing him from the inside. To finish, it threw him against one of the trees, the impact of his body bursting a myriad of acid pustules open, drenching him in the stuff. Castys fell to the ground in a heap, sucking in pained breaths beneath his shattered ribs, and all he could do was helplessly watch through his one good eye, the other reduced to goop by the acid, as the monster raised a foot above him. His mind was screaming at him to go, to run, but he could hardly move, he should just let himself die so he could heal, but he didn’t want to, he didn’t want to just lie still and let this thing step on him, slowly building up the pressure on his already ruined ribcage, forcing ragged screams out of his acid-burned throat, he was going to be crushed but he didn’t want to be, g-get off please it hurts so much why do I have to do this it’s not fair I didn’t even do anything wrong this time please-

Castys came back to pain, sparking, burning agony soaking deep into his flesh. He was still covered in acid, and even with his bones intact now he could barely bring himself to move. But he had to, he had to get up, he had to kill this thing, had to get out of this awful place himself, because there was no other way out, because no one was going to come save him, not now, not ever. Just as he was psyching himself up to try and stand, the monster’s hands grabbed him all over, dragging him off the ground. He tried to squirm out of its grasp, and while it had too many damn hands and he had too many damn acid burns for this to actually be effective, he struggled anyway. As it lowered him towards one of its flower mouths, he tried to at least scream expletives at it, but of course he’d still had acid in his throat when he died so he couldn’t even relish the simple joy of yelling “fuck”.

What would happen to him if this gross monster ate him whole, he didn’t want to find out, but it seemed like he was going to if he didn’t break free. Castys shuddered as the mouth opened wide, wider, impossibly wide, showing off an unnecessary amount of wicked sharp teeth, and oh fuck they were a lot closer to him than he’d thought because his damn left eye was a corroded mess again and all of a sudden there were teeth tearing through his flesh and he was falling, falling into that horrible mouth surrounded by bright purple petals, pointed teeth digging into him, but he felt something, he felt something, hard and rough, and maybe it was his sword, and he could still kill this thing, so he wrapped his burned hand around it, fingers screaming in protest, and pulled, and as much as it hurt, as much as his sword was stuck, he wasn’t going to lose here.

His sword finally broke free with a disgusting squelch, though it felt a lot lighter than he remembered, and just as he pulled it out, the monster collapsed to the ground. Castys somehow managed to worm his tattered body out of the creature’s mouth, and once he was free, he held up his sword so he could stab himself with it, but discovered the object he was holding was very much not his sword. It was a strange wooden carving of a twisted tree, like ones surrounding him, a small bone fitted so snugly inside that it was almost as if the wood had grown around it. Was this...the source of everything? It was the most curse-causing looking thing he’d seen so far, and given that it seemed to be the core of that monster...oh, it was starting to grow flesh. Oh absolutely not.

Castys looked around frantically for his sword, his dagger, anything to break this talisman thing with. The first thing that caught his eye within reach was an unfamiliar axe, but he lunged for it, wishing he had time to kill himself and reset his body’s condition, but there was no telling how much this thing would grow while he was out. If he wanted a chance at ending this for good, he had to do it now. He rasped in pain as he dragged himself upright, grabbing the axe with blood-slicked fingers before he set the cursed object down and swung, crying out brokenly in pain and frustration. After a few clumsy whacks, the talisman broke in two, and the flesh bubbling out of it ceased moving. Was...was it over? It had to be. It had to be. It had to-

Head spinning, Castys fell sideways, the vision in his functional eye starting to blur. He knew he needed...to die...but he just...didn’t have...the...strength…

It was warm...comfortable...but it hurt, and...everything was...itchy. But still, so warm, and that was pleasant, and he found himself leaning into it. It was almost like...

Castys jolted awake, his eye snapping open. He was inside some building, the wooden ceiling above him lit by rippling firelight, in what felt like a bed, his whole body throbbing fiercely, and there was...a hand on his forehead. A hand attached to the village chief, Citlali, who was looking at him with concern. Her face broke into a relieved smile when she saw he was conscious, despite him flinching away from her touch. “So, our hero is finally awake.”

“I-” Castys tried to speak, but his throat was still severely fucked up, in fact, his whole body was. He hadn’t fucking died since he’d passed out, and these idiots didn’t know how his immortality worked, so they’d actually bandaged him up. The feeling of them was totally foreign, if not a little nostalgic. God, he must have looked fucking awful when they found him. He hoped it would make them think twice about kidnapping people to do their dirty work in the future. 

“Don’t try to speak; your throat is quite badly damaged. Do you want something to write on?” Castys nodded, and she fetched him a wooden tablet and a stick of charcoal. He considered writing something on the angrier side, but seeing as he still didn’t have his pouch back, and that she had tried to help him...he should probably play nice. He was too tired for any more fighting, anyway.

“If you’d just kill me so I can heal that would be great.” Pausing, he decided he should probably explain that a bit better. “Every time I die I come back to life fully healed. And the most convenient way for me to die is to touch my rock, which I believe I’ve earned back. Unless the forest is still wonky.”

“No, you did break the curse, and I want to thank you for that, because obviously it wasn’t easy. I-” she cut herself off. “First things first, let’s get you healed for good.” She furrowed her brow. “Will healing with these bandages on...mess it up somehow? Some of them might be a little...stuck to your wounds. Should I take them off of you first?” Castys considered it for a moment. He’d never tried to heal with bandages on, but if things went wrong...it might be more painful to have to cut them out of his flesh or whatever. He nodded, holding out an arm.

Citlali was gentle as she unwound the bandages with practiced skill, but that didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt like hell. It felt like she was ripping his damn skin off, and every time his idiot body tried to scream in pain, it tore up his throat even further, making the whole affair even more damnably unpleasant. He could hardly stand to look at the wounds underneath, all pink and red and oozing what he assumed was pus. The worst part, however, was when she removed the bandage from around the remains of his left eye and it pulled a little string of bloody flesh off with it. He screamed at that, really screamed, and he realized he was crying, and he didn’t understand how mortals did this all the time. Citlali didn’t so much as flinch at the gore, the smell, or his pain, and he almost felt embarrassed about how poorly he was handling this.

When she was done, she retrieved his pouch from a nearby table, giving it to him wordlessly. With shaking hands, Castys managed to pull it open and stick a finger inside, sighing in relief as the familiar blackness took him. When he woke up, he was happy to find that there wasn’t any more acid on him, so he was actually fully healed this time. “Thanks,” he muttered, flexing his hands.

“Thank you, you really saved us. I...I know you were forced to, and I know that I shouldn’t have done it that way, but I felt like we didn’t have any other option, and-”

“It’s fine,” Castys sighed, waving a hand dismissively. “That shit was pretty fucked up so I’m not really surprised all the mortals you sent in died. And it’s not like I’m known for my benevolence.” He put the pouch around his neck, where it thumped against his bare chest. “So, did my clothes-”

Citlali shook her head. “They were full of holes and covered in acid, so we asked around and got you a spare set.” She handed him a folded shirt that was similar in style to the pants he’d been wearing when he woke up, and he pulled it on. She handed him the rest of his belongings before picking up the pieces of the wooden carving that he’d destroyed. “Where...where did you find this?” 

“Inside the freaky monster with all the limbs and shit.”

“The what.”

“Was its giant corpse not near where you found me?”

“There wasn’t anything out of the ordinary there besides this and some of the weapons and equipment from our lost expedition parties.” She put it down, standing and crossing her arms. “We all felt the shift in the forest when the curse was lifted, and when we went out to investigate, everything seemed just like it had before all of this started. We found you collapsed in a clearing not too far from here.”

“Not too-I feel like I wandered around for hours! Stupid cursed forest.”

Citlali huffed. “Regardless, we found the talisman next to you, but no monster. But if this was what caused everything…” She picked up one of the pieces, gripping it tightly. “I think I understand what happened.”

“That’s great for you, don’t let it happen again.” Castys stood, shouldering his pack. “I...I can leave now, right?”

She looked up abruptly. “Oh, uh, yes, though you’re welcome to stay as long as you like, and we were thinking of holding a feast once we-” she stopped, clearing her throat. “We’d like to make it up to you in any way you can, but I understand if you’d like to leave. I’ll walk you out.”

Part of Castys wanted to stay and get a bunch of free food out of these people, or at least actual compensation for the ordeal he just went through, but he didn’t know if he could stand to be surrounded by these woods for much longer, despite the fact that they were allegedly no longer cursed. He couldn’t fight the nervous feeling in his stomach as walked away, his steps quickening once he and Citlali parted ways. He didn’t really relax until he had left the forest far behind him. 

Once he was safe, Castys opened his pouch and reached inside, worming his finger into the secret side pocket that was separated from the rock. He gently pulled out the piece of paper, unfolding it and sighing in relief upon seeing the drawing on it still intact. Not that he’d expected anything to happen to it, but…The memory of the first day of his life, at least that he was aware of, was far more precious than anything else.

Because if he lost it, if he lost that spark of happiness, that piece of who he was that day, he felt like he would collapse under the weight of every awful thing he’d endured ever since.

Castys Cult: @as-a-matter-of-whump​ @blackrosesandwhump​ @fanmanga1357-blog​​ @thehopelessopus​ @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi​ @hearse-song​ @muddy-swamp-bitch @whumpasaurus101 @yet-another-heathen​​ @galaxywhump​ @starnight-whump​ @his-unspoken-words​ @misspelledwitch

[pianostarinwonderland]

Reasons why I love Azul Ashengrotto because I’m a dirty rag for him 😔😔😔

🤡 Stealing this from @cursedtwst because I need to give Azul some keysmash 🤡🐙

Okay genuinely, I really don’t know why I stan Azul, like legit, idk if it’s just me but I go through my daily life asking myself “Why the FUCK do I stan Azul like ????? This man has made me salty as shit for 1/3 of 2020 by not coming home AND by having a limited SSR RIGHT AFTER his dorm SSR that looks so so good and has duo with Jack, who was my tutorial pull”

But Azul just has to ✨✨💞💞breathe✨✨💞💞 and I go shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

And then proceed to not breathe for the next ten minutes

NO I’M KIDDING I KNOW HOW TO BREATHE I CAN STILL BREATHE

Narrator voice and she says this as she proceeds to stop breathing the moment she tried to capture the following images

PLEASE I AM WEAK FOR AZUL’S SMIRK

AZUL STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP

LIKE EVERY FUCKING TIME I SEE HIS CHIBI SMIRKING I MENTALLY RETURN TO MY ROOTS AS AN APE

NO PLEASE LEGIT, MY HEART JUST GOES AWAWAWAWAWA BECAUSE LIKE HE’S SO HOT WHEN HE SMIRKS AND ALSO I GET SOOSSOSOSOSO GIDDY WHEN HE SMIRKS DURING LESSONS BECAUSE THAT MEANS HE GETS PERFECT AND I JUST GO

“YES AZUL YOU ARE PERFECT YOU DESERVE THAT FUCKING PERFECT”

AND OKAY ONE DAY, I WAS JUST DOING TESTS AND LIKE LILIA IN CURRENT GRASS TEST IS JUST CLENCHES FIST

Then I think I was taking too long to decide on a move or I was doing something

THEN AT THE CORNER OF MY EYE

I SEE AZUL SMIRKING (as seen in the left pic) AND I JUST

WAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

YOU KNOW, I HAD TO USE UP AP WHICH I RESERVE FOR ALCHEMY JUST TO CAPTURE AZUL’S PERFECT EXPRESSION ON THE RIGHT (perfect as in the perfect in lessons or just Azul looking perfect in general? Ehhh why not both heehoo)

Okay, but do you know what’s hotter than chibi smirks?

PLEASE EJECT ME IN AMONG US I CONFESS TO BEING THE IMPOSTER

JUST LET ME FLOAT IN SPACE AS I CONTEMPLATE MY LIFE CHOICES THAT ARE ABOUT MY UNHEALTHY ADDICTION TO AZUL’S SMIRK

MY HEART LITERALLY GOES DOKI DOKI EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME I SEE AZUL SMIRK LIKE THIS

LET ME BE LEGIT HERE, I GET SO MUCH OF AZUL’S SMIRKS IN ALCHEMY AND THAT COMPRISES 75% OF THE REASONS WHY I DO ALCHEMY WITH HIM ALL THE DAMN TIME

LISTEN, HE’S ABSOLUTELY FUCKING GORGEOUS WHEN HE SMIRKS LIKE THAT LIKE

BANGS HEAD ON WALL

HHHHHHHHHHAHAHHDHSJJDKEJJDKKE

YOU KNOW MY DISCORD SERVER FRIENDS LIKE TO BULLY ME WITH THIS ONE AZUL SMIRK EMOTE WE HAVE AND EVENTUALLY I JUST GO “nope not gonna say anything abt that nope nope not gonna tell them it’s gonna do things to me because anyway he looks high in that one emote and it’s gonna lead me to bulli anyway so”

SOBS HARD

PLEASE IF AZUL LOOKS AT ME LIKE THAT, MY LEGS WILL ABANDON ME AND MY LAST BRAINCELL WILL SHUT DOWN AND I’LL JUST BE A MESS ON THE GROUND AND I WILL BE A LEGITIMATE DIRTY RAG

Ahfksjfksk fuck I can’t type do you know how many times I have to redo some words

You think the smirk saga isn’t done yet? Well : )

SAY HELLO TO MY ALL TIME FAVORITE CARD IN THIS FUCKING GAME

EXCUSE ME AZUL THAT LOOK IS NOT LEGAL

NOT LEGAL AT ALL

HARD SOBBING

THAT CARD HAS CAUSED ME SALT AND GRIEF FOR 1/3 OF 2020 OKAY

I HAD WANTED THAT CARD BACK WHEN I STILL DID NOT STAN AZUL BECAUSE HE DUOS WITH RIDDLE AND I THOUGHT HEY I GOT RIDDLE AND FLOYD SO EASILY MAYBE AZUL WILL COME HOME

Spongebob narrator voice 81 pulls later

WITH THAT GAZE ALONE AND THAT OP ASS POWER HIS CARD HAS, HE NEARLY BROUGHT MY WILL TO NOT SPEND DOWN, CRUSHED IT LIKE IT WAS NOTHING, AND IF IT WASN’T FOR QUARANTINE, I WOULD HAVE OPENED MY DAMN WALLET

Like everything about that card is just????? So perfect?????? Like, I love love LOVE THE COLORS IN THERE LIKE THOSE SHADES OF BLUE???? MMMMMMMMMMMM AND ALSO THE GOLDEN GLOW FROM THE CONTRACT THAT MAKES IT STAND OUT?? YES

AND THEN AZUL JUST LOOKS AT YOU LIKE THAT WITH THAT BEAUTIFUL SMIRK AND

HIS GROOVY IS ALSO REALLY GOOD, LIKE LOOK AT THAT POWER AND AUTHORITY HE HAS JUST WALKING INTO THE ROOM

But tbh I super love his initial so much that when I look through my friends who have Azul dorm as their support and see some of them using the groovy pic I internally go “whyyyyy”

BUT OKAY YOU KNOW, EVERY TIME I SEE WRITING BLOGS USE AZUL DORM INITIAL AS THEIR CHARA BANNER FOR AZUL, I FUCKING COMBUST

LIKE I AM JUST PEACEFULLY READING AND SCROLLING THEN I SEE AZUL DORM AND GO AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああ

AND YO AZUL DORM IS LIKE?? SO GOOD??? EVER SINCE I GOT HIM, MY TEST SCORES FUCKING INCREASED

I DID NOT THINK SS WOULD BE POSSIBLE BECAUSE MY CARDS ARE JUST 🤡🤡🤡 BUT IN ALL ELEMENTS, I AM LESS THAN 200 POINTS AWAY FROM SS AND I’M LOWKEY SALTY ABOUT THAT BUT ALSO SO HAPPY ABOUT IT

AND MY WATER AND FIRE SCORE INCREASED TOO LIKE NOW I’M AT 10K FOR THEM WHEN MY HIGHEST WOULD BE LIKE 8K-9K AND JUST AAAAAAAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH AZUL 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I want lv100 dorm Azul,,,,,,,, literally have a friend in game who has lv100 Azul and I went 👁👄👁

Sup hi I’m totally not sobbing over the fact I don’t have beans Azul

Okay but, if you were following me or knew me back in April-May, you probably would know that I was simping for Jade ish??

Like, when beans day came, I was SO relieved that Jade was the event SR and was like F for Azul stans

5 months later and I’m 🤡🤡🤡

BECAUSE OKAY

I WASN’T PLANNING ON PULLING IN BEANS DAY AT ALL SINCE I JUST WANTED JADE

BUT A FRIEND DID THREE SOLOS AND GOT AZUL SO I WAS LIKE “huh why don’t I try”

Big mistake

I got Jack but no Azul :((((((

And I told myself k stop it you don’t need beans Azul in your life

But my braincell really went “but his duo is Jack and you have Jack SSR and Riddle duos with Azul don’t you want don’t you don’t you :))))))))”

And I ten rolled hours before the event ended and ended up with nothing

Then when Kalim PU came I was salty that I didn’t throw my ten roll key at him and have a chance at getting a better card :)

But enough about my gacha salt, we’re simping here

Ahem so

OKAY THAT GROOVY ART LITERALLY MADE MY EYES GO 👁👄👁

THAT SMIRK IS SO HOT and I WILL SAY IT AGAIN

ALSO THE WAY HIS JACKET FLIES FROM THE FORCE OF HIS MOVEMENTS JUST 😳😳😳😳

Honestly, I’m so sad I don’t have his story :((( his expressions look sososooso good there and like, he gets dissed for having shit PE grades and I live for that AKJDJKAJF

Bringing this back because hOOOOOOOOOT DAAAAAAAAAAMN

I JUST NEED LESS THAN ONE SECOND TO LOOK AT THIS AND I’M ALREADY FLOATING IN SPACE FROM BEING EJECTED IN AMONG US

Sobs and floods NRC in tears

Okay and honestly, I just want to say I feel like the universe has been counting on me to fall for Azul from the start

AND THIS LITERALLY DATES BACK TO WHEN I WAS A CHILD OKAY

So when I was a kid, I was addicted to the word ‘azure’ LIKE I KEPT SAYING THAT WORD TO MYSELF WHEN I WAS ALONE BECAUSE I LOVE THE WAY IT LOOKS I LOVE THE WAY IT SOUNDS

AND THEN HERE COMES AZUL WHOSE NAME IN JAPANESE IS PRONOUNCED AS AZURU AND I JUST

God I love Azul’s name so much, like every time I type out his full name, I go 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳

And then okay, if you have been here like at the very very start of this blog or have been stalking all my posts until you reached the end or knew me for a long ass time, I was a Riddle stan

But I was going through receipts in one Discord server while trying to find this old Azul art and those receipts dated back to when Twst was released on March 18 and my friend was screaming about Azul

AND I SAW MYSELF SCREAMING WITH HER AND I WAS LIKE “HOLY SHIT WAS I ALREADY ATTRACTED TO AZUL BACK THEN EVEN AS A RIDDLE STAN??????”

HAVE I BEEN BLIND THIS WHOLE TIME????

LITERALLY THE ONLY PIECE OF EVIDENCE THAT SHOWED I WAS STILL A RIDDLE STAN THEN WAS ME GOING “ok if this is Azul already, what more of Riddle” BUT OTHERWISE, I WAS HOLDS HEAD THE ENTIRE TIME I SAW THOSE RECEIPTS

,,, holy fuck this is long I am so sorry,,,,,,

This isn’t even all my thoughts for Azul,,,,,,, aha haha ahahahhahahhahahahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahhaahahhaha hah hah... fml

[zawadni]

Okay, everything I say in this is very basic information about the characters that you find out early in their route or you find out at some point while playing anyone else’s route. Nothing is a heavy spoiler that will ruin the story line.

Julien - sexy as fuck I know, but is a whiny bitch and almost all of the fandom can agree he is a bottom or/and submissive. Of course there are people who head cannon otherwise, and that’s okay. I haven’t played his entire route just cuz he isn’t my type personality wise, but basically he is a wanted man of Vesuvia and a plague doctor. He likes spending his time in bars getting drunk and has been known to be a bit of a bard! However he is INCREDIBLY BOOK SMART! Man can read and write which is really great for someone in this setting, is a doctor, and I think he is bilingual if I remember correctly. That might be a popular head cannon. He is a little flirty if I remember correctly!

Asra - magician, cute lamb dude with a pet snake, IS NOT AN INNOCENT LAMB THOUGH. Technically like the 707 or Mammon of the game and loves you in every route. The MC is his apprentice in every route. We often see him visiting the shop the two of you run for brief periods of time before leaving to a mysterious location on a mysterious quest again. Mischievous and romantic. I have played his entire route and I like it but his reversed end is creepy as hell-

Nadia - the countess. Boss bitch. She is a bad ass bitch but so fucking kind and empathetic at the same time. She actually cares about her people and married into the family, does not have any kids, prefers when the MC is direct with her instead of lying or beating around the bush. Loves to tease.

Muriel - MOUNTAIN OF A GENTLE GIANT OF A MAN! I REPEAT- GENTLE GIANT! Big buff awkward man who lives in the woods alone with his chickens and wolf. Very sweet. Very large. Standoffish and cold at first but he opens up to you. He is pretty shy and doesn’t like big crowds- he has an interesting back story though that I won’t get into here.

Lucio - the dead count of Vesuvia. His death is a little bit a part of the storyline for every route and there is a lot more to the story than you think. HE HAS TWO ADORABLE DOGS! I love his dogs. They are hunting dogs and are absolutely adorable. We see them most in his route and Nadia’s route but they make an appearance in every route, they are characters. He himself is arrogant, self centered, overly confident, thinks he is beloved but everyone kind of finds him annoying, and likes goats. He has good points and so far I like his route. He is very prideful. You might not like him in other people’s routes, you’re not supposed to as he is the antagonist, but I’ve found his route to be pretty interesting so far. I’m also a sucker for a man who loves his dogs- dude he treats his dogs better than anyone else. Yes, he is a ghost technically but again, there is a lot more to that story than you think there is.

Portia - best friend. Bubbly, flirty, and so much fun! She will prioritize you and protect you even if she is just Nadia’s favorite servant. Has a kitty named PeiPei! She loves to laugh and is very curious. She doesn’t mind getting into some mischief. Has a brother.

The Arcana story line it’s self is mostly a romantic tragedy. There are adorable and gorgeous CGs you can get and the paid options I HIGHLY recommend saving up for because I’ve found it to be so worth it. You can obviously go back and replay chapters to see paid options and get cgs I think it just costs a key or something.

The arcana is also mostly just story. There is the wheel you can spin daily where your either get coins or a trinket. Collect the trinkets to unlock 3 specific side stories. After you’ve gotten them all and played them all then you can start selling trinkets. You have to sell them in groups of 10 and every 10 gives you 50 coins.

There is the post card game. It’s a mini board game where you can collect post cards from your favorite characters. You get three plays per day and at most can get one post card per play. I always suggest picking what character you go for based on what character you’re able to get to on the first roll. Once you play the game you’ll understand it better, I’m pretty sure they give you a tutorial. If they don’t, watch someone else playing it on YouTube really quick, it’s not hard concept I am just bad at explaining it which is why I’m in even attempting to right now lol.

And there is the daily coins you get when your log in. Every 7 days, instead of coins you get a tarot reading (that you don’t have to use immediately) that can be performed by Asra, Nadia, or Julien. (The original three game characters)

To get keys, it should give you keys after a set amount of hours. However pretty often they find something to celebrate and will have days of infinite keys or giving us keys and coins. It’ll take a little while but I’ve found that it’s one of the more generous games.

If you’re want to know anything else, I will happily share.

thanks dude

[those70scomics]

I’ve never written a story where Jackie and Hyde have any children, and I still haven’t. But I have written partial outlines for a few. Today (as a gift to you on my birthday), I present what I have of a story called Fourteen Autumns.

Animation Tutorial - Falling Leaves by SadfaceRL

Summary: On the fourteenth autumn of her daughter’s life, Jackie is finally ready to be a mother to her -- and reconcile with Hyde. But after many years of disappointments, neither Hyde nor their daughter, Sparrow, are sure they’re ready to accept Jackie fully into their family. Or heart.

Fourteenth Autumn. October 25, 1993.

Jackie, Hyde, and thirteen-year-old Sparrow meet up at the Point Place Harvest Festival with Eric and Donna's family (they have two sons) and Red and Kitty. Jackie and Hyde need to have a serious talk. Eric and Donna take Sparrow away with them to facilitate this talk. Jackie's a soap opera actress in NYC. She pretends to be in love all the time on her show. Her character's been married five times. But her life is unfulfilling. She's emotionally cut-off. Acting in a soap opera means memorizing thirty pages on a good day. But she can be given up to eighty pages if production demands recording four episodes in one day. Soap opera acting is not where she imagined she'd still be by now. She'd hoped to transition to a prime-time show, comedy or drama. It just hasn't happened for her. She's switched soaps a few times and returned to her first one. Her agent keeps encouraging her to audition, but her career is not enough. She misses her connections to her friends and family. Hyde believes Jackie wants to fill her emotional void with Sparrow, and he won't let Jackie use her. Jackie says she still has feelings for Hyde, too. They've slept together on and off over the years. Jackie tried one-night stands and even dated a few people “seriously,” and the sex meant nothing. She needs the emotional connection. Hyde made Sparrow his focus once she was born. He slept around, but he never fell in love. He didn't want any relationship to pull his attention from raising Sparrow. Jackie wants to try dating Hyde again, and she wants to be in Sparrow's life. She'll quit acting. Hyde says she's too ambitious to give up on her passion / career. Jackie says unless she writes something herself, like an independent movie, and gets it funded, she won't be living her passion anyway. Hyde says Sparrow's turning fourteen soon. She'll enter high school next year. Jackie asks if that means Jackie can't be mom to her daughter if her daughter's a teenager. Hyde says Jackie hasn't been a mom to Sparrow for thirteen years. Jackie is hurt by this. Hyde understands why.

First Autumn. Late September, 1979.

Jackie is a month away from giving birth. She and Hyde are in the same park as in 1993. Leaf colors are just barely starting to change. Hyde tells Jackie, “I'm not so sure about this adoption thing.” Jackie tells Hyde that she has to give the baby up for adoption. He says its our baby, not the. Jackie says it won't be. She's already had to defer college a semester. She wants her future. Raising a baby isn't right. She has no parental support with her dad in prison and mom off in Mexico or wherever again. Jackie says keeping the child would be selfish. Hyde's thought about that a lot since learning Jackie was pregnant. And he's tried to convince himself that letting his child be raised by other people is the right thing to do. But he feels connected to their kid. He'll always wonder, “What if?”

He loves Jackie, and he thinks they can handle it. He knows that this all sounds weird coming from him. But they don't need Jackie's parents. Hyde's got two sets of his own: W.B. and the Formans. Money's not going to be a problem, and neither is daycare. Hyde's got Grooves. Jackie can still go to college. She'll just have to put it off for a year instead of months and transfer to one she can commute to. Jackie got into NYU's acting program. She can't—and won't—give that up.

Hyde says but she can give up their kid?

Jackie says, again, it won't be theirs. She's—they're—giving it up for adoption. She's been looking through the portfolios of potential parents, and she's come up with three choices. She wants Hyde to look at them with her. Hyde says he doesn't have to. He already knows who their kid's dad is. Jackie [desperate]: “Steven, please!” Hyde says, “I'm raising our kid, Jackie. With or without you. I want it to be with, but I won't force you, all right? I won't. But I got this--” he presents an engagement ring--“a month ago. That's when I realized I didn't want to give up our kid, but I had no clue how to talk to you about it.” Jackie says he can't use marriage as a trap, just like he used to tell her she couldn’t against him.

Hyde says he doesn't mean it as a trap but as a promise they'll be partners in this, in everything. Jackie: “I need you to be my partner in letting the—our child go.” Hyde: “I can't.” Jackie, devastated, knows she's lost. She can't deny Hyde the right to be their child's father. “Then you'll lose me.” Hyde: “Jackie—” Jackie: “Because I can't be in this child's life. I'm going to be in debt for half my life to pay for school. I don't … I'm not capable of raising a child right now. Maybe if I'd gotten pregnant ten years from now, but not today.” She says his mom always resented his birth, his existence, because it meant the end of all the hopes and dreams she had for her life. His mom was only nineteen. Jackie's only eighteen, and she doesn't want to resent her child.

If she could somehow freeze the baby and thaw it once Jackie was ready to be a mother … but that's not possible, and she's not ready. And no matter how much she might love their child, part of her will probably resent it. And it won't be their child's fault. Just like his mom's resentment wasn't Steven's fault. But she won't be able to help how she feels. She'd rather let two loving people, who are absolutely ready and willing and wanting to raise a baby have their child than risk making their child feel unloved in any way. Hyde is quite emotional over this comparison. He says, “I don't want our kid ever feeling the way I did, either. I'm not exactly ready to be a dad, okay? I get it. But I already...” Jackie takes his hand and places it on her stomach. She understands. Steven loves their child.   Jackie: “You also already have a career you're happy with. Three parents who adore and support you. We were both afraid of the future for different reasons, and in different ways, but you're not anymore because your present is settled. You trust it. But without this baby, my future is full of possibilities. With it, my destiny is written, and it's not the one I want.” Hyde can't argue. Grief is written on his face. She sees it. Jackie: “I know I sound selfish, and maybe I am being selfish. But I truly believe giving this baby up for adoption is the kindest, least selfish option for all of us.” Hyde: “Not for me.”

First Autumn. October 25, 1979.

Hyde and Mrs. Forman are taking a walk on a leaf-strewn path. Hyde's been taking Kitty's baby-care class all month. He's read baby-care books the month before that and asked Kitty all kinds of questions. Kitty asks if Hyde's excited about becoming a father. Jackie's due date is so soon.

Hyde says he's scared but relieved Jackie agreed to let him raise the kid … and that the Formans agreed to help as much as they can. Kitty says this is her first grandchild. She's honored and so happy Hyde decided to raise the child. She's worried about Jackie, though. Kitty tried to convince Jackie to hold the baby after birth, just so she wouldn't have any questions. Just to have a moment of bonding. Jackie is adamant she has no contact with the baby.

This hurts Hyde's heart. Hyde says Jackie's got to do what she's got to do. Kitty questions him and asks if that statement represents how he actually feels.

Hyde: “It’s reality.”

Kitty: “I’m so terribly sorry -- and incredibly sad -- that your baby broke you and Jackie up.”

Hyde: “Me, too.” Kitty changes the subject (for herself and him). She asks if Hyde's thought of a name yet.

Hyde: “If it's a boy, Zeppelin. If it's a girl, Zeppelin.”

Kitty [horrified]: “You can't name your child after a blimp.”

Hyde says Led Zeppelin is his favorite band.

Kitty doesn't care. He has to think of a proper name for his child.

Hyde remembers when Jackie used to talk about boy and girl names she'd want to name their future kids. He used to get so uncomfortable with these conversations that he'd come up with the most ridiculous names to shut her up. But he doesn't want to pick one of the names Jackie wanted since their kid might resent Jackie for choosing not to be in her life. Kitty asks if he looked through the baby name book she gave him.

He says he has, but none of the names stuck out at him. He was named after his stepdad, who was named after his dad. A SPARROW lands near them on a fence. It draws Hyde's focus. In this moment, he emotionally connects to how his life is going to change completely in a few days. He won't be responsible only for himself but another life: physically, mentally, and emotionally. Kitty sees that Hyde is getting emotional. His face is flushing. Kitty hugs him, like she knows what he needs. He doesn't hug her back immediately.

She says, “You won't be doing this alone. I promise, Steven. Red and I consider you our son, and we won't let you do this alone.” Hyde's arms wrap around Kitty in this moment, and he says, “Thanks. ... I--” He takes a deep breath and laughs to release tension. “Fuck it. I love you.” Kitty hugs him tighter. That's the first time he's ever said the words aloud without her prompting him.

Kitty: “I love you, too—and watch your language. You're about to have a baby!” She lets go of Hyde, and they laugh. He wipes his wet eyes, and they continue walking.

First Autumn. October 28, 1979.

Hospital delivery room. Jackie gives one final push, and out comes her and Hyde’s daughter. Hyde has his shirt unbuttoned. He sits in a chair, and the doctor puts the baby in Hyde's arms, against his chest for warmth. The doctor and nurses dry off and clean up the baby while she's in Hyde's arms. They also evaluate baby. She's fine. They cut the umbilical cord. Hyde: “Jackie, you've got to see her—just see her. She's beautiful.” No answer. Nurse says low,  “We've got a room all set up for you down the hall. It's probably best we go.” Hyde: “Jackie's still breathing?” Nurse, “Yes. She's all right, but we need to respect her wishes.” Hyde stands with the baby. The nurse guides Hyde toward the door, but Jackie says, “Wait!” Hyde does. He turns around. Jackie says, “Let me hold her.” Hyde brings the baby to Jackie and places her on Jackie's bare chest. Jackie, with tears in her eyes, has a moment of connection with her child. She kisses the top of the baby's head then lets her go. Hyde, holding the baby against his own bare chest, says, “Do you want to know her name?” Jackie [crying]: “Yes.” Hyde: “Sparrow Katherine.” Jackie doesn't remark on whether or not she likes the name. She just nods weakly, as if she's accepted the baby's not hers to name. She willingly gave up that right.

First Autumn. November 1, 1979.

Hyde's in what used to be Laurie's room. It's now Hyde's room and decorated like it, too. Inside is also Sparrow's crib -- which Red made -- a changing table, and a rocking chair that Mrs. Forman insisted on. Shelves are filled with parenting books as well as books to read to Sparrow. By the crib, on Hyde's nightstand, is a baby monitor; a gift from Angie. Hyde's sitting in the rocking chair. No sunglasses. Sparrow is five-days-old, and Hyde is bottle-feeding her while Eric and Donna visit from Madison college. They wanted to see their goddaughter. Eric and Donna couldn't be there during the week, or birth, because of school. They drove down Friday night, arriving too late to see the baby in the hospital. But now they're talking with Hyde and amazed at Sparrow. Hyde finishes the feeding and burps her. He hopes she keeps down the formula, but Mrs. Forman taught him how to feed her so she doesn't swallow too much air. Eric: “I can't believe you're a dad.” Donna: “I can't believe Sparrow is so quiet. Can I hold her … if she doesn't throw up?” Hyde: “Yeah, I think it's safe. But just in case...”

He indicates a soft towel on the changing station. Eric gets it. Donna places it over her shirt, and Hyde hands her the baby. Donna holds Sparrow properly. Hyde gets nervous when new people hold his kid, but he trusts Donna. Donna is totally enamored with Sparrow. She says, “Her eyes are so blue!” Hyde: “Mrs. Forman says that could change in six months. Maybe she's got Jackie's eyes.” Donna [smiling / close to nuzzling Sparrow's face]: “Well, she doesn't seem to have Jackie's temper.” Eric: “So, Hyde, how are you doing with all this?” Hyde: “Great, man. Red and Mrs. Forman are in love with the kid. Angie's in town, taking care of the store while I'm on paternity leave, but she's been over here every night to get Sparrow-time—and Mrs. Forman's cooking. W.B. was here when Sparrow was born and helped out the first few days, too. Hell, I'm lucky if I get to parent Sparrow at all.” Donna [laughing]: “Come on. That's not true.” It isn't, but his family has really taken to Sparrow. Hyde knows how fortunate he is. He's got all the support he told Jackie they would get. Eric: “What about Jackie? I mean, she's not starting college until next semester. Has she … will she ..?” Hyde gets uncomfortable, and Sparrow starts to fuss in Donna's arms, as if she senses Hyde's discomfort. Donna passes Sparrow back to Hyde, and Hyde feels better with Sparrow in his arms. He sits in the rocking chair again.   Hyde: “Jackie held her in the hospital room. Then she let her go.” Let both of them go. “Not gonna say it doesn't kill me 'cause it does. But I didn't know I could feel like this...” He gazes at Sparrow, who grabs Hyde's finger. “It's freakin' unreal how much I love her.” Donna is touched. She lays her hand on Eric's knee and says, “You almost make me want to have kids.” Eric [nervous]: “You don't want kids?” Donna [who still has Sparrow's towel, which fell to her lap]: “I do. We've talked about that. Just not now.” Eric [relieved]: “Right. Right. Hey, Hyde, think I could hold her sometime?” Hyde: “After her nap, sure.” He begins to rock her in the chair. Donna: “Aw, you're such a softy.” “Should we tell Aunt Donna to get bent?” Hyde says to Sparrow -- with a voice he'd never heard come out of him until she was born. It should disturb him, how sickeningly sweet it is, but it doesn't. He looks up at Donna and says with his normal tone, “Sparrow says I should give you a break.” Donna: “Thanks, Sparrow.”   Eric: “Speaking of Sparrow, how'd you come up with that name? I thought for sure you'd name her Clapton or Hendrix.” Hyde: “A sparrow showed up at the right time.”

So did Forman and his folks. And Donna. W.B. and Angie … and Jackie. All the people he's ever needed in his life showed up when he needed them, and Sparrow's the latest one in that list.

Sparrow yawns, and Hyde kisses Sparrow's forehead. He's going to be there for Sparrow no matter what happens in her life or where she chooses to go. She'll always have him to come back to.

Tenth Autumn. October 5, 1989.

SPARROW'S DIARY. October 5. Jackie sent Sparrow her first diary. It has a purple cover, her favorite, and Jackie glued a picture of a sparrow to the cover. SPARROW writes about this in her first diary entry. October 5, 1989. Hello, diary. How are you? I know you can't answer, but I'm happy Mom bought you for me. You're my favorite color, purple, and Mom glued a pretty picture of a sparrow on the front. She said in her note that you're one of her any-time presents. She sends those to me a lot. I wish she was here. I almost never see her—except on TV. Farmor lets me watch her on Nights of Our Days sometimes. Dad doesn't like it, but I want to know my mom. I mean, Dad's told me a lot about her. He answers all my questions, but it's not the same as talking to her. She doesn't love me. Dad says she does, but he also says presents don't mean love, and I think the same thing. But people who do love me give me presents a lot, too, like Dad and Farmor, Farfar, and Grandpa. But they also spend time with me and take me to places like the zoo and Funland and play games with me, and I know they love me, and I love them. I don't know if I love Mom. Dad says that's okay. He doesn't love his mom, either. His mom hurt him really bad, but he won't tell me how. He says she's like Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty, and that's scary. I've seen that movie about a hundred times. Farmor reminds me of Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather. She's my grandma, and she's so funny. We laugh all the time, but she's also like my mom. Not Mom but an actual mom. I love her so much, and I love my dad more than anything. I wish he was happier. … I mean, he is happy. I'm happy, too, but sometimes we're both sad. He loves Mom, and maybe I should, too? Maybe I do. I'm just so MAD at her. Anyway, diary, I better go. Talk to you again soon!

That’s all I wrote. But had I finished this story, we would’ve gotten glimpses of Hyde, Sparrow, and Jackie's lives throughout autumns two through thirteen -- with Jackie and Hyde’s (and eventually Sparrow’s) conversation during the fourteenth autumn interspersed among the chapters.

The epilogue would’ve been the fifteenth autumn, a year after Jackie asks to be part of Sparrow and Hyde’s lives. We see that the family is together and happy, although still working through things. But everything is moving in the right direction.

[iguessishouldbethankful]

Sly Cooper 1 Review:

As in, I recently completed the game and since I was asked to, I will give my review on it. I’m a little nervous because this is the first time I’m doing this, so hopefully I’ll get this right.

KEEP IN MIND: I did not grow up with this series, and I am going in after @oroanillado gifted me the entire series for the PS3. I am a new fan who basically grew up on Nintendo products, so my views might come off differently.

ALSO: SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Onto the review.

0. Initial Reaction:::::::::::::::::::::::::

I was pretty surprised how the game collection required no download or installation. So that was a good little bonus as I could immediately sit down and play it without much of a wait. As for the starting point on top of the roof... lemmie say that Sly is adorable at first glance. His movements are fluid and it’s very satisfying to control him--especially the fact that he has a bass sound to his steps that is beyond addictive. I love it.

Not to mention the music is nice. Not exactly as memorable, but I can listen to it and it does give the area a feel.

And then Bentley opened his mouth. Whew boy. Okay. Rok heard my live commentary every time he opened his mouth, so it’ll be a theme. It wasn’t that bad at first though so it’s mostly me wanting to explore the Police Station. It’s mostly a tutorial level so it’s nothing impressive, just giving the feels.

When Carmelita showed up, like expected, I was stunned by two things: she owns an extra fancy taser gun, and that slow as fuck taser gun is able to cause the destruction of public and private property as a massive scale. Ma’am, can we talk? Can you not blow up the cars?? LADY-

As for the comic style animation? Yes, perfect. I was looking forward to it and was not disappointed. I love the cartoony look it gives to the whole world. Which is something else I noticed--the feel and look of the game is very much like the love child of Banjo Kazooie and Psychonauts. The colors and collectathon.

Also the character motivations for Sly, Bentley and Murray are believable. All are orphans, and Sly saw his family get killed but the bad guys and the family book of thieves stolen. Carmelita? Eh, wish I had more context to her but good cop trying to catch the robber is good enough.

Note: I had no idea Carmelita was actually someone that worked for Interpol. My dumbass thought she was just a French cop. The more you know.

As for the hub safehouse area, it’s simple and direct to the point.

Okay. We good? Now onto the levels.

1. Tide of Terror:::::::::::::::::::

Sly dies in one shot.

Sly dies in one shot.

Sly dies in one shot.

No. This was okay. I was determined to find out how I could get around this. I explored the initial open area, collecting the coins and trying to get the bottles because I knew that the point of the games was to collect all pages, right? So I needed the bottles to get the clues so Bentley could give me the code. Thing is, I ran into a few problems on the get go. BESIDES SLY BEING A ONE HIT WONDERBOY.

I didn’t know I could pimp whack enemies with the cane. So I see this walrus looking mofo just hammering away on a boat and I’m like... How do I not aggro this dude. Keep to myself, reach areas I new I could jump to, and... OH FUCK THERE ARE BOTTLES ON THAT BOAT GOD DAMN IT! Fine. Let’s sneak in. By sneak I mean run around the walrus and realize that the guy just sees me and hammers harder. What? Okay then he doesn’t chase me. Get the bottles, realize after 5 minutes that Sly’s pimp ass cane can in fact obliterate the ship’s pole to get the last bottle, before trying to confront the walrus.

So I died the first time. Then I smacked him. You know, for a one hit wonder as Sly is, I appreciate that the enemies are the same as well. That balanced everything out and not made it a colorful furry version of Dark Souls. So off I go. Up the ladder and jumping right into the second area where there are search lights. I’m like okay, let me go around these and--

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE ROSE BUSH KILLED SLY?!

GOD DAMN IT!!

Yes, a lot of this happened. It has been a while since I played a colorful game like this and I a lot of this is simple designing that is obvious, but I am also someone that enjoys finding other ways to get around them. So many choices in the game seems nonsensical. A raccoon unable to brush by some thorn bushes was rather hilarious. I was basically fussing at full volume while Rok was laughing at me. Which was good, I meant to be hilarious.

I discovered the wonders that were the search lights and that they are easily turned off in the small sections. That I could in fact dodge most attacks from the minor enemy characters. Realized that this damn raccoon cannot swim to save his damn life. LITERALLY.

kjsdbkjsd And then I realized that I was missing quite a few bottles once I got to the end. I was frustrated. I wanted to get them all already. So I went back and tried figuring out how to get them and I SWEAR TO GOD I CANNOT EVEN LOOK AT THE SAFE WITHOUT BENTLEY GOING “YOU DON’T HAVE THE BOTTLES NEEDED TO OPEN IT U-”

Bro. Bro I know. Bro please.

Shut the fuck up.

Got the bottles and moved on. Found out that I absolutely adore Sly being in a barrel and wanted to take that barrel with me everywhere but I couldn’t. Realized that Sly puts come paper cuts outs of his emblem in opened up safes and--can we talk about this? Does Sly just sit in his room with colored craft paper and cuts these out every night? Does he redo them if one comes out funky? Does he get glittery paper or is it like the kiddy kind? Does he do them in the van? Is it with scissors or an x-acto knife?! How do you make these bro you don’t simply walk into a FedEx’s Kinkos to print these out!

Anyway, I’m learning more tricks as I go along, getting all of the keys and bottles and I do go back to each stage to get all of the damn bottles because I am not leaving one behind because I really want all of the pages. I am also seeing all of the death animations Sly does and honestly, the humor in each of them is not lost on me at all. I adore them. The first time I saw him just realizing he’s gonna fall to his death and he just-

I busted laughing so hard and Rok got to hear me lmao oh my god-- But for real, most of his death animations are strangely adorable in my opinion. Especially when he just falls and his little leg twitches. They never made animations like that for other games I played so far (not even for Banjo Kazooie). And the lightness of everything makes it less frustration in my opinion. As though I had no problem if Sly died along the way. Whereas I would get way more frustrated with how Mario or Banjo would die.

Anyway those are my tidbits. But lemmie tell you something.Once I got to the last stage where I needed to get the 7 keys to access the final boss? There’s a treasure chest with crabs mini games.

FUCK. THAT. GAME.

The only reason I got through it was because I’m stubborn and I distracted my frustrations in my chat with Rok as I had this damn raccoon swim around in a submarine, killing about 100 crustaceans just for 40 chests!! 40! Not a normal number like 20 or 25. No. 40. That drove me nuts for some reason.

Anyway, finally got to the final boss after I collected all the horseshoes and lives around the main hub of the level, and then yeeted Sly from the canon ALA Wind Waker style.

Raleigh is freaking gross. Not in voice, but his animation made me feel really nasty with looking at him, which in my opinion was a good visual design and motivator to get rid of him faster. It was also easy to sort of find out what the boss fight was requiring from me in the end--making it so much easier as well. I guess for a kid it’s a bit more difficult and I can understand that. I just enjoyed the fights for having a repetitive nature that was satisfying. Like even if I died many times, the game didn’t throw me all the way out of the level at all. It restarted the fight from the beginning and that, to me, was a good way to introduce me to the entire function of a Sly Cooper 1 boss fight.

I felt happy when I defeated Raleigh. And of course, Sly isn’t a “killer” so froggo dude is still alive, just in prison after “HOT LATIN FOX LADY” caught him. Of course. Can someone tell me where Carmelita is from? Is she Spanish or Mexican or..? Like was that defined by the games or was it thrown up in the air?

Anyway, onto the next level.

2. Sunset Snake Eyes:::::::::::::::::::::

Lemmie just say that I actually enjoyed Mugshot’s backstory? It made me feel really sympathetic towards him in a way.... Despite him being a murderer but you know. It was a nice touch.

Okay so, are any of you familiar with the whole “Mickey Mouse is taking his dog Pluto for a walk” dilemma? Well, I had a moment like that as well in this section. Why? Because Mugshot has feral dogs all over his turf and that messes me up a lot for some reason. Like I always wondered how, evolutionary wise, can an anthro dog and a feral dog look so similar? I had a moment like that as well when reading Farewell, Beloved Falco. There was a feral pig in that comic and it bother the fuck out of me. But it didn’t impede me from playing the game.

The look was very much classical American desert wasteland in the middle of nowhere. Possibly southwest USA if I were to guess, and I liked the feel of the casinos and run down RVs, trailers and cars. However it made me question why this place was a junkyard almost if he kinda has a functioning casino. For Raleigh I could understand because it was a hideout, you do what you can right? Even if you have a fucking floating metal blimp over your hideout, like that won’t catch military attention at all, nooooooo--

But like, an abandoned casino suggests that it was once owned by the mafia or a mob, and just--Okay. Police regulations and gun control. Etc etc, I’m rambling on about things that have nothing to do with the game. Back to the design.

Again, collecting all the bottles like a desperate AA member that needs a hit for old times sake and running back to open up the safe. Can I just say that the names of each Cooper ancestor is rather amusing? Like some have the most dumb but adorable names. Huckleberry Cooper jfc--

And once I got into the main hub, I got my first taste of the “Murray can’t think without his stomach thus gets himself in trouble and needs to race his Moon Rover turned into a Van to win one of the keys” mini game and “Bentley told me I gotta keep you alive as you run through this area full of trigger happy criminals, Murray, plEASE STOP RUNNING IN FRONT OF MY BULLETS MURRAY-” mini game. Nice. Not as bad as the 40 treasure chests crabs.

Also, why would Mugshot or his minions just leave a red sports car running on reverse for days on end?? Anyway.

The inside of the casino was a nice section to play ngl. I enjoyed that a lot. The platforming too, despite some of the bottles being utterly difficult to get without having to die and do the entire section again to get them. And then comes the level when Carmelita decides to destroy private property because she’s after this dumbass raccoon. I wonder how she felt seeing him jump around back and forth breaking bottles and dodging her SLOW AS FUCK TASER GUN.

“Could you stand still?!”

“Nope. Not my fault you couldn’t get a license for a firearm.”

Finally I got to the Mugshot boss fight and like the first one, it was a very satisfying fight. Mugshot had me in stitches because he walked around with his long ass arms instead of his legs at first like lmao! Also once I got to the final third stage, I was all cautious and excite to jump around the wires. Yessss.

Defeated, all bottles collected, Carmelita caught this villain as well, and off we go... stealing shit from the USA before coming back to the Safehouse? Alrighty then.

3. Vicious Voodoo:::::::::::::::

Let me tell you something about myself. I have an intense love for Voodoo in video games. Started with Gabriel Knight: Sins of the Father, Princess and the Frog and I had an intense call back to one of the swamp areas of Banjo Kazooie in this level.

So basically, this is my favorite level.

I think it’s also the level where I argued the most with Bentley as well. Or at least the second one because, since the very first game, he keeps repeating the same obvious commands all the time with a constant reminder of press the O button. Sly? Sly?? SLY! PRESS THE O BUTTON! Bentley? You’re cute, but you gotta stop my dude.

The sliding effect on the long branches was a lot of fun, the tree enemies that had more than one hit kills were also satisfying to beat the shit out of. I also enjoyed the general murky color of the level in general. Just the spooky was definitely my aesthetic. You know what wasn’t my aesthetic? The first mini game I ran into, which was the candle mini game where Bentley would repeat himself all the time right at the start of if you had to restart the level. I muted the entire thing and had Sly mindlessly killing the fishes to turn on the candles while blabbing to Rok on the phone so it was easier for me not to get nervous about the time limit or the amount of candles I had to turn on. It was the same thing with the Chicken Gumbo mini game, but I didn’t mute that one. Because Bentley stayed quiet.

Also, @oroanillado​ is the biggest troll. I was on the beast section of the game and they did not describe to me what it was like. So I’m honestly not expecting much at all, just wanted to grab my bottles and go. Once I’m halfway though, and I already saw the water moving around I’m having Amnesia the Dark Descent flashbacks like OH SHIT OH FUK O Shi- But no. No. What got to me was... This intensely huge serpent coming out of the water and chasing me and my camera kept pointing BACK instead of pointing forward so I could navigate Sly out of that mess while also getting the fucking bottles along the way!!

I was shrieking!! I have an acute fear of things that are larger than normal (it’s connected to my Agoraphobia). I have that with whales and sharks and fish, so I usually avoid big mobs if possible in any game. Yes, including the 3 mythical dragons from Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. @thekursedone-lylat​ was present when I was freaking out about saving Naydra and how huge it was. But at the same time I have a big fear of these sorts of creatures, I was laughing and cursing at the end of the level because honestly, Rok was having a good time and so was I.

Oh yes, also the other mini game where I had to navigate the same speed boat thingy and shoot down the on coming ghosts and flaming rocks was pretty annoying until I figured out I needed to destroy the pillars where the ghosts came from. Then it was easy.

But my absolute favorite section of this whole level was the Green Water Full of Body Parts and Bones. Bentley was losing his shit at the beginning of the level and I would accidentally yeet Sly into the water of decomposing bodies like yeah, yeah the turtle won’t like the smell of this. It was just a well designed level, so I had no problems having to redo it to get all the bottles again and again.

Now, the boss fight? I was warned about this ahead of time so I had to unfortunately put Mz. Ruby on mute so I would concentrate on her attacks but apparently they were supposed to go with the rhythm of the song and the Sly Cooper Collection messed that up? I think she was the only Boss I was really wanting to listen to as she talked because she was giving me good “yeah I’m bad, probably not the best one in the group, but I don’t care I’mma own up to it so try to dodge my attacks as best you can” vibes. It was also entertaining to see Sly go Neo with some of the commands.

All bottles collected and onto Winter in China.

4. Fire in the Sky::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Oh hey look, fireworks!

.....oh.

Surprisingly, this entire stage was rather meh to me? It worked like the others, felt like the others, but I really wasn’t as wowed by it. It might also be just the fact that I mostly saw white in general due to the snow, and spent most of my time looking for a few bottles on one section that really irritated me. Like I legitimately got mad in one section and didn’t want to deal with it because of the noises some of the monkeys were making.

This section. I hated it so much because I thought the bottles I was missing were in here and 2 of them were but I needed hints for it. Argh... Everything else in this section was pretty much a blur for me besides the two mini games with Murray, and the one level where Carmlita came back again, destroying more private and ancient property with her taser gun--and the main reason I remember this was because:

Carmelita saying she was going to catch criminal scum Sly and Sly just went “you really need to get woke, I’m not the bad guy here.”

I collected all the bottles but Bentley told me I had to defeat Clockwerk before I could open this damn safe, and it was the only one requiring this!!

Carmelita went down with the dragon statue, into the hypothermia levels of cold water while shaking her fist into the sky.

I will say the part of Sly and Bentley discussing the whole mechanics of Sly taking the rockets into Panda’s lair was pretty funny tho. Just,

Bentley: Hey you might be able to reach the top of the tower before these explode.

Sly: Okay but what if they explode before I get there?

Bentley: Then I guess you’ll blow up into many pieces.

Sly:

As for the Panda King boss fight, it was okay. I just kept running in circles around the arena while approaching the dude. Defeated him and was like okay, I really need to go and defeat Clockwerk now so I can open that safe.

5. The Cold Heart of Hate:::::::::::::::::::

Look.

I get Sly probably weighs next to nothing, Murray, but could you at least break once Sly gets knocked off the top of the van? Or when the rocks are falling down towards us, maybe also step on the breaks so not everyone is being driven to their ultimate death?

No?

Okay.

I will say, I headcanon that both Bentley and Sly were getting an intense case of whiplash when Murray was driving that van around at 120 MPH collecting all 60 computers because... Bentley needed those to hack into something??? It wasn’t as bad as the 40 crabs and treasure chests but man. And then of course there’s the section where, oh surprise surprise, Carmelita is in an obvious trap, slamming her fist on the glass, needing to be saved. Bentley warned Sly it was a trap. But of course Sly is like:

OH THANK GOD THE BARREL IS BACK.

Anyway, obvious trap is an obvious trap. Carm just bitches at Sly right as he gets stuck in the glass chamber and is sprayed with RAID. So Bentley has to save his ass. This is possibly the mini game I dislike the most. I just put Bentley on constantly circling mode as he shot down the targets.I died about 9000 times before I won.

Carmen is all Oh I was wrong about you the whole time Sly!

Sly: Duh.

And off we go to the next section where Sly lost his cane and he needs to recover it with Carm’s help. So I’m controlling Carm’s taser gun. Guess how many times I purposefully killed Sly? Many. For funsies. Because the gun magically got faster once I was behind the trigger.

Next section was the whole climb up the beam tower as it’s being consumed by lava! I very much enjoyed this whole climbing bit. It was fun. Again, died a lot and I actually glitched through the walls because I jumped somewhere I wasn’t supposed to and had to kill Sly along the way. But still very fun.

FINALLY.

CLOCKWERK.

Are we serious? Are we actually serious right now? Clockwerk had absolutely no motivation beyond ultimate hate? WHAT?! That’s just... not a satisfying reason ngl. Anyway, the jetpack flying section was probably the easiest thing ever and I loved it. What I didn’t like was the laser section that came after it... I kept dying. Again. FUCK. THOSE. LASERS.

Clockwerk speaking random little words while malfunctioning was super cute those. I don’t why, but I loved it. I was shrieking by the end of everything though because once I got right at the back end, where I’m supposed to jump on this mad owl, I was not expecting the head to jump on me. HHHHHHH!!!

Anyway, I killed Clockwerk dead. Back into the lava you go. Witnessed Sly give Carmelita the slip of the tongue and handcuffed her onto a railing over an active volcano before yeeting himself. Classy. Then back to his old tricks again with the gang. End credits.

NO WAIT.

The last chest. In the Panda section. Yeah I went back for that and got the extra ending.

0. MY RATING::::::::::::::::::::

Honestly, 8 trashcans out of 10. If Clockwerk actually had a believable motive besides hate, I’d give it a higher rating. But the game is satisfying and I love the mechanics of it.

Bentley just needs to chill the fuck up tho. God.

[medea10]

My Review of Grand Blue

How did I get into this anime? Well, I heard there were some good reviews about this particular title. It was one of those animes I probably should have watched in summer 2018, but more than likely I was watching some sequel no one remembers.

Iori Kitahara just moved to an ocean-front town to live with his uncle since he lives near Izu University (a school Iori was accepted into). His uncle owns a scuba diving shop that serves as a local hangout for members of the school’s diving club. Little does Iori know that this is a local hangout to get FUCKING SHIT-FACED!!!

I am not making this up. These members drink like it’s going out of business. And usually these drinking binges end up with blackouts and public nudity. In Iori’s case, he got so black-out drunk that he woke up in front of his new university’s courtyard…on the first day of school…only wearing his boxers! I’m beginning to see why Amazon put out an advisory at the beginning of each episode about drinking responsibly. But aside from drinking with a bunch of meat-head senpais, there’s also diving. Yeah, club activity is actually diving into the ocean.

So let’s dive into this college-leveled, binge-drinking club as we meet some interesting characters like, a raging otaku (Kouhei), Iori’s cousin with “Permanent Resting Bitch-face Syndrome” (Chisa), a girl who should get a makeup tutorial on Youtube (Aina), two meat-head senpais (Bukki and Tokki), Drinky McStripsItAll (Azusa), and Chisa’s “loving” older sister (Nanaka).

BETWEEN THE SUB AND THE DUB: So this is an Anime Prime exclusive, so I doubt I’d be hearing a dub to this any time soon. The sub has quite the line-up of seiyuus including that upcomer I’ve been raving about all 2019, Yuuma Uchida. But a lot of well-known folks like Kana Asumi and Hiroki Yasumoto (who can literally play anything at this point) shine in this anime. Here’s what you might recognize these folks from.

*Iori is played by Yuuma Uchida (Kyo on Fruits Basket 2019, Uenoyama on Given, Chika on Kono Oto Tomare, Sun on Oresuki, Ash on Banana Fish, and Shirazu on Tokyo Ghoul :re)

*Kouhei is played by Ryouhei Kimura (known for Hinata on Angel Beats, Hachiken on Silver Spoon, Takizawa on Eden of the East, Judar on Magi, Taishi on Tokyo Ghoul, and Hiyori on Free!)

*Chisa is played by Chika Anzai (known for Mina on Attack on Titan)

*Aina is played by Kana Asumi (known for Taneshima on Working!!, Ran on Shugo Chara, Kazakiri on Index, Yuno on Hidamari Sketch, Nagisa on Madoka Magica: Rebellion, and Tachibana on Nisekoi)

FAVORITE CHARACTER: I’m gonna say that after watching all 12 episodes; Aina (a.k.a. Cakey) grew on me. Horrible caked-on make-up aside, let’s be real here.

I think it’s because of the development we see with her ever since she was introduced early in the series. We see a girl trying her damndest to fit in with the tennis club only for it to blow up in her face (literally when we’re talking about all that makeup that’s “caked” on her face). Yeah, these guys treated Aina like garbage! But after joining the diving club, we see her be herself and slowly trust those around her. I think it’s more of this character resonating with me in some sad aspect, but I too feel the pain of trying to fit in or not wanting to let anyone down. Anyways, Cakey is my girl!

Poor dear, I feel your pain.

SHIPPING: So Iori is now a college lad and getting smashed eight ways from Sunday. And I’m sure he’s going to have his own picks of the ladies when he isn’t drinking with an otaku and a bunch of meat-heads.

…Or he can get freaky with his blood cousin!

*eyeball twitch*

ANYWAYS, Chisa has made her point clear with the disgusted face she makes whenever she’s around Iori. But in anime terms, we know that she has that classic tsundere syndrome. So when someone like Aina comes into the picture and Iori sticks up for her, jealousy arrives like a fucking A-bomb! Despite Chisa announcing to a wide, public setting that Iori was her boyfriend (while he was passed-out drunk), nothing too scandalous happened with this. It was just so she could keep creepy boys away. Honestly, I really have no problem if Chisa and Iori hook up. It’s actually better than Chisa being with someone who has an unhealthy obsession with her.

I don’t want to say Nanaka has a thing for her baby sister, but this is getting too borderline Yuru Yuri that I have to say something about it.

I’m pretty sure Aina might be a contender after all Iori has done for her throughout the series. It’s just that she can’t stand all that binge-drinking and getting buck-naked at any moment.

And then there’s wild card Azusa! She’s a flirt! What else can I say about her? She teases Iori every chance she gets. Hell, near the finale she tantalized Iori in sex. Wasn’t sure if she was kidding or if she really meant it! However she did shove a leek up Iori’s ass, but that’s because he was sick.

I swear this is normal behavior.

By the end of the series, we really didn’t get much in terms of full-on hookups. Many misunderstandings have occurred involving word-play. Iori, Kouhei, and their band of geeky friends are still virgins (though one of them came very close to sealing the deal). One of the meat-heads has a girlfriend (did not see that one coming). But on a positive note, Chisa and Iori’s friendship has been pretty steady. I wonder how long that’ll last!

ANIMATION: I gotta say it, the facial expressions on these characters were a laugh-riot. It wasn’t like this was pathetically sad that I have to laugh at it. But more of how expressive these characters got when they have to express hatred or disgust! This is more for comical expense and I happened to like it. It’s like with the anime Prison School, all the facial expressions worked in their favor. This, while out of place some of the time, never fails to make me laugh.

ANIME REFERENCE: While shopping for gear for an upcoming diving expedition, Kouhei came across two suits that would make any old-school otaku squeal.

The suits of Rei Ayanami and Asuka Langley Soryu from Neon Genesis Evangelion in diving suit form. And Kouhei got Chisa and Aina to try them on!

ENDING: At the end of episode 9, the diving club is heading to Okinawa for a special trip that is promised we will never forget. They made sure of that when the anime gives us a two-minute preview of what to look forward to in these final three episodes. Just be warned a lot of things mentioned really didn’t happen. It almost felt like one of those gag previews Gintama is notorious for.

Well Iori, Kouhei, and Aina are going to attempt at getting their divers license so that they can go even further down the ocean. It seemed like all three were doing pretty well when it came to the basics of diving underwater. However, it was quickly noticed by Nanaka that Iori was having trouble keeping water out of his goggles and that could result in immediate failure. So Iori practices all night (with help from Chisa and Aina). However, Iori ended up in some trouble when a patrolling policeman comes upon him in the pool. And Iori spent the rest of the night in the water because he was naked.

Because I’d be concerned if he wasn’t naked!

Well, the next morning, he caught a cold. Then dumbass thinks it’s a good idea to get rid of a cold by drinking vodka.

Because I’d be concerned if he wasn’t drinking!

And as a result he ended up missing his chance for obtaining his diving license. Kouhei and Aina were able to get their licenses. So the big diving expedition of Okinawa is about to commence and Iori has to sit this one out. But he remains hopeful to one day dive with his friends in Okinawa. After all that, the group travels to another spot and get fucking hammered. You all see the theme to this series, right?

But the last few episodes gave us a few moments involving Kouhei and Aina. Kouhei ended up stumbling into this group on accident (much like Iori), but discovered how much fun he had (aside from getting drunk as a skunk night after night). As for Aina, she learned that despite the diving club being full of a bunch of drunken meat-heads, these people care about her (unlike the previous club she belonged to).

So it was a memorable trip.

This was absolutely NOT what I expected when I picked up this anime. I notice Grand Blue being taken place in a cute ocean town and thought it would be just as cute as Tsuritama. But it turned out to be the anime equivelant of Animal House. I can easily tell you that my college years were NOTHING LIKE THIS.

Despite going to school in a state where the drunk-driving rate is sky-high, I did not witness any strange anomalies like arriving on campus and seeing a bunch of drunk, naked lads sprawled across the courtyard.

Now then, I do feel like this series could have focused a little more on diving and oceanography. It felt like the majority of the series involved characters binge-drinking, meat-heads fighting with tennis club members, more binge-drinking, sad geeks never getting laid, studying for a German test where you only get 20%, and drinking more than Sterling Archer. Not so much on the ocean like I would have hoped. And even though Iori gets the short-end of the stick in almost every episode, I do feel bad that he couldn’t join the rest of the club under water in the finale. That felt a little disheartening, but that’s just me. Short answer, I like this anime! If you’re in for a good laugh and are not turned off by all the drinking and nudity, I say go for it.

For what it’s worth, it’s a silly adventure I can see myself rewatching one or two more times. And if you’re interested in watching, Amazon Prime has all 12 episodes available for streaming.

Okay, this was quite the trip! Let’s pick our next Amazon/Netflix/Crunchyroll exclusive anime!

Think Zootopia, but set in high school.

Beastars!

Great choice as I even heard good things from celebrities who don’t normally watch anime.

[marcarella-pizza]

Colouring/ Shading/ Lighting for Digital art

HI! Hello~ I’m here and I have a teeny tiny tutorial for you today (courtesy of dear Melito who actually wants my help??? I’m??? Blessed??? I realise that there’s a lot of you who have no clue who the fuck this person I’m referring to is, oh well, not my problem — ur missing out on hella great cake.)

So I have a timelapse of everything (below, duh, in case you can’t scroll) and I’m also gonna make comments on it cus ya know, these vids are only a minute long and thirty fucking megabytes like Jesus Christ.

So without further ado-do!

Should I have added music? Probably??? Ehhh the deathly silence can comfort you. (Wow what a mood.)

The Run Down:

Is rundown one word or two??

When colouring, I break it up into three main steps: base, line and “Hiding All My Fuck Ups”

(First) Base

I’ve never made it to first base... or any base

When colouring, use a non translucent brush to colour in everything. As in, so it’s completely solid??? Where’s my English today?

For every different colour, put it on another layer! I tend to do the skin colour first. You can go over lines that will be covered with another colour... did that make sense?

That’s it, I just felt the need to have three steps at least.

Line

As in... line art.

What I do is I lock my layer — that means when I try to add colour, colour will only be applied to the area that’s been drawn on.

I usually colour pick the colour I used for the base, and the line looks very pale when done (I do this with a non translucent brush too)

I then adjust the layer with lineart so the colour looks darker and more saturated. For my program (Medibang) I go Filter > Hue > Max out the saturation and lower the brightness > save. Sometimes I may do it again if it’s not dark enough.

If you can’t edit the colour then there’s another way! Duplicate your lineart > select the layer on top > change blending/ layer type to “Multiply” (it multiples the colour... duh)

If THAT doesn’t work I have one last suggestion before I sadly admit idk — duplicate line art > select top layer > colour the entire think a dark colour or black > lower the opacity

Line art done! (This time I wanted six steps — 6 is my fav number)

“Hiding All My Fuck Ups”

I rely on this too much okay?

I can actually further split this into two; shading and “I’m Kidding Myself” — let’s begin!

Shading

To shade, I work from bottom layer up!

What you’re gonna do, is select your bottom colour, (or any really but ORDER HELPS) and lock the layer.

Why? That way it’s easier to colour without going over the lines! (Your building on the foundation you set essentially)

With a semi translucent brush (FYI, translucent brushes are thinks like “blur” or “smudge” that purely affect what’s there and do not add anything) I use the watercolour brush set at 15-20% opacity.

I’ll eyedrop the base colour that I’m shading, and with the colour wheel, tru and find a darker version of that. NOTE: when looking for a darker colour, I don’t go to the black, I try and find a more saturated colour OR a darker HUE — black is a curse, I don’t ever use pure black or pure white — give your work the colour it deserves UwU

With the watercolour brush, I literally run the darker colour over all lines that indicate a shade (imagine a light somewhere and what that light touches is what you mainly focus on)

For clothes, I follow the creases I’ve drawn

For hair, I tru to imagine the hair in three main shapes and run the colour over the perimeters of those

Then it’s time to blend! I usually just eye drop the base colour again for this, and trace (lightly, our tablets have pressure sensitivity — same going for steps 1-8) the line that divides the light from the dark, adding a middle ground since the watercolour brush is only semi transparent.

For adding blush to skin: create new layer above skin layer > set to multiply, again, if you can’t do this then you follow same steps as before with line art) > using an Airbrush like brush (soft, no sharp edges, kind blurred), colour the skin areas that need blush.

Skin areas that need blush; areas with LOTS of blood vessels (head... the OTHER head...) areas with thinner skin (elbows, knuckles, knees)

If your skin layer was on the bottom, your blush will only appear on top of the skin and not the other layers!

Just be careful about the areas outside the drawing — you may need to do some tiny erasing

Finally, merge all the colours together. Sometimes different layer types don’t like to merge together without screwing up your other layers, to avoid simply merge them one at a time from bottom up.

As in, second last one and last one merged together, then the one above that merged with the last one — merge everything with the last one... AM I MAKING SENSE?!

I’ll usually merge the lineart with the colour too — I just didn’t here for some reason

“I’m Kidding Myself”

Here we add stuff that hides flaws and merges the character with a background if you have one!

I use three types of layers for this, if your program doesn’t use these then see if they have similar functioning ones (I’m always experimenting so this isn’t set in stone) if your program has nothing then... this will be a little harder, you’re gonna have to do this by hand somehow.

I use these kinds of blending layers; Multiply, Overlay and Add

First I prevent getting the colour on anything BUT the character; magic wand tool > select the empty space > hold ctrl/shift and keep tapping to add or remove areas > invert if you need in order for the art piece to be selected

You can see this when my background when blue, I’m basically highlighting my art of Yuri

Colour this entire space on a new layer. The colour I use doesn’t change here on out (except in the video I do cus I lose the colour but that’s aside the point). When choosing a colour, consider the colour of light — I use human colours??? Colours you find on a person essentially.

As a general rule of thumb; for every new thing, new layer, it gets a little harder here. I also use a semi translucent (watercolour) brush again for everything!

Now we have a silhouette of Yuri — I set this to multiply, it’s essentially like a highlighter marker pen but darker?? This is so that I may adjust the entire colour to fit the lighting colour

New layer (NL), I set to Overlay. Overlay is like multiply except bright! Remember what I did when shading? Yep, rinse and repeat! Afterwards, adjust the layer’s opacity setting so that it fits better with the image.

I’ll also make the brush really tiny and go over hey areas to highlight such as the edge of the nose, chin and jaw — I’ll also add shine to the eyes.

NL, set to Add. I only ever use this layer if I want to achieve “blinding lights” sort of looks. So when the lighting is immense, I have a white background, or the background is incredibly bright.

I use add layer scarcely, to blemish any lines and make it look more refined. I’ll also adjust opacity if need be.

NL, I’ll use the airbrush set too REALLY BIG (1000 usually) and if I have a background, will try and add light to it by making this layer multiply too. I’ll add darkness in the side or corner of the background etc.

NL do the same thing with Add except also make a point for where the light is coming from.

NL, I’ll use a mix of Add and Overlay to add sparkles, fragments, light spots etc depending on image type of need be

Using a Fluffy pastel brush (it’s textured) I also use pure white. This is the only time I ever do.

I’ll add reflection to eyes, jaw and nose. For hair, I’ll pick out a few strands of hair where it’s darker and throw in some loose lines. Clothes are rarely outlined and only where light touch. I use this limitedly.

Ctrl + D ;) to deselect the lasso tool — I don’t usually merge the layers after this because it’s usually too messy and I’m done anyway so I save it, however you CAN put them all in a FOLDER if need be. (I have a few in my vid, the entire thing is in a folder tbh)

Voila! That’s it!

I hope this has been of some help or use! And that this makes SOME sense... I’m absolute shit at explaining everything...

This was incredibly fun to do tho and I spent two hours typing this all! Wow!

Okay thanks for reading! (Hope this helped Melitooooooo, don’t forget the wedding cake ~ v/ important part of marriage you know)

[sibyl-of-space]

Finished a binge re-play of Ocarina of Time (3D) for the first time in a very, very long time. Long-winded thoughts below.

Disclaimer: I played the original n64 version (red blood Ganondorf and all) ad NAUSEUM as a kid. It was by far in my top 3 most-played video games, and if you all know me you know that I don’t play a lot of video games, I play the same few over and over and over and become obsessed with them. As such, OoT is not new to me. I also played the 3D version once before, but it was over the course of several years when I was in college and that was a no-lens-of-truth run for the heck of it. I have not touched either since though, so this is the freshest eyes I’ve had on the game since I was probably about 6-7 years old seeing it for the first time. Do keep in mind though that I already knew virtually all the easter eggs and secrets and story and progression and had a vague recollection of the vast majority of dungeon concepts/puzzles before going in, because this game was my entire world for many formative years.

This game has really excellent dungeons. I ranked them below because I was inspired by my friend ML’s ranking (in fact a desire to rank them myself is what caused me to binge replay this in the first place), but honestly I found all of them engaging. My least favorite was ice cavern but even ice cavern has a really cool atmosphere and an interesting concept, it’s just a bit tedious and bottle management gameplay is not particularly fun to me.

1. Spirit Temple - unlike Shadow which uses invisible walls as a mechanic to trick you, Spirit subverts every single mechanic and puzzle you've encountered so far to really throw you. It's extremely clever. The ambience and overall design is also just excellent.

2. Forest Temple - gameplay wise it is fine but as the first adult temple it REALLY sets the scale and tone for the latter portion of your adventure; the vibe in this temple is just so fucking cool. The sacred forest meadow honestly does come off as sacred, ancient, and haunted but in an ethereal way as opposed to a spooky way. Ooh, I love it.

3. Ganon's Tower - the concept is excellent and the execution is solid, the medallion portion is interesting but the gauntlet up to Ganondorf with increasingly loud organ music and hallways filled with bats and just cool fights and great atmosphere makes this one of the sickest final dungeons I can think of. I was starting to be like "eh maybe the medallion rooms are a bit underwhelming" and then I got hit with the fakeout room in Light that just won me over with how cheeky it was. All the medallion rooms felt a bit like Spirit temple with how they played with expectations, which (ironically?) made the spirit portion actually the least good.

4. Gerudo Fortress - I'm counting mini dungeons and the whole espionage thing is just SO much fun. Break into a thieves’ hideout, jump across rooftops and shoot people with your bow to sneak past them?? WHAT IS NOT TO LOVE?????

5. Water Temple - okay I gotta say this replay really sold me on water temple. It's a cool concept and a fantastic atmosphere, and 3DS quality of life changes (boot swap ease of access + very clearly visually marked water level change rooms) made me actually thoroughly enjoy playing it. Also Dark Link is rightfully hailed as one of the coolest, if not the coolest, miniboss(es) in the game, so extra points there.

6. Bottom of the Well - Shadow's invisible wall mechanic is much more interesting when you can't see through them and everything is a potential trap. Falling down to the basement does get frustrating but that room where you light torches to open coffins and a FLOATING GIBDO EMERGES makes up for it, holy crap. Shadow Temple is underwhelming because Bottom of the Well already did what it tries to do but better.

7. Dodongo's Cavern - hey man I like blowing up dinosaurs this dungeon is just solid 0 complaints

8. Fire Temple - Fire Temple is also solid I just a) am so used to the original music that this version feels empty and lacking atmosphere by comparison, and b) find the above temples cooler. Shout out to dragon whack-a-mole boss fight though.

9. Shadow Temple - this suffers from being the only temple I really had completely memorized (I think my weenie friends* must have made me beat it for them as kids) so playing it this time was really just going through the motions; it didn’t get the chance to win me over because I remembered all of it and nothing particularly stuck out to me as being super clever. The boat ride, however, is sick as hell.

(*disclaimer: I was also a weenie. Shadow Temple scared the absolute pants off of me. But I clearly played it enough times that the entire thing was etched into my memory regardless, so.)

10. Deku Tree - does its job as tutorial dungeon, nice atmosphere, thats about all there is to say.

11. Jabu-Jabu's Belly - redeeming feature is using Ruto as a projectile. Throwing her at the ceiling switches will never not be hilarious. Honestly not a bad dungeon, merely gross and I like the other ones better.

12. Ice Cavern - I used to dread Ice Cavern; this time around I just found it tedious. The atmosphere is successful - it really feels cold and chilling - but not appealing enough to make up for it being dull and kind of annoying. Has the potential to be really cool if the blue fire were used in a more interesting way than “fill your bottles and dump them elsewhere.”

BUT, I feel it would be a complete disservice to my younger self and my younger self’s reasons for playing this game so much, if I focus completely on dungeons and disproportionately on gameplay in a review. Because while gameplay is a huge reason I kept going back to it (hard to want to go back to a game if it isn't fun to play), that’s not what made me love it so much, and a replay has given me fresher eyes to enjoy everything else it has to offer.

Ocarina of Time creates a world and a story that I deeply cared about, and revisiting as an adult, I find if anything I have more take-aways than I did previously. I have always really enjoyed coming-of-age narratives when done well, and this is a coming-of-age narrative done REMARKABLY well. You see dumb bratty kids doing dumb bratty kid things and then see the mature people they’ve grown into 7 years later; the game does not make the mistake of projecting a personality onto a voiceless protagonist, but it does imply a narrative arc for him (and you) regardless just through how strong and cool and awesome you get by the end and all the rad shit you’ve accomplished over the course of the game. It manages to very, very successfully make its story about other characters who DO have personalities, but also make you as the blank slate mc cool guy hero very much have a part in that story that feels very earned and satisfying.

Link doesn’t have a personality. You can project whatever the hell you want onto him or nothing at all. Ocarina of Time makes that *work*, because it doesn’t try to frame him as either ~adult in a child’s body~ or ~child in adult’s body~, it just lets you experience the literal growth from a kid who has to jump to reach ledges and has to thwack things twice with a slingshot and tiny sword, to an adult who can LAUNCH MASSIVE PILLARS INTO THE AIR and one-shot previously difficult enemies, and interpret that however you will. I think the most powerful example of this is going back in time again after doing several adult temples, and entering the bottom of the well, where you see enemies you’ve previously only encountered as an adult, and feel confident that you can tackle them as a child, too.

I really love these kinds of narratives. Where the growth of the main character is purely in the sense of you as the player becoming more adept and stronger, and the context of the story makes that mean something, but the game doesn’t try and pretend the avatar itself has a 3-dimensional personality.

I also think the balance between narrative and gameplay is excellent once it hits its groove. The beginning is very hand-holdy (Navi taught me how to open a door after I had already opened a door elsewhere because she’s scripted to do it at a specific door even though you can technically get to a later one first. lol), and I very firmly believe that with Saria’s Song as a device that lets you seek advice when you want to, it is completely unnecessary to have Navi yell at you what she thinks you should be doing. That said, the game doesn’t stop you from doing whatever the hell you want, and the number and depth of dungeons makes exploring and killing stuff by FAR the meat of the game, over the story. There is a suggested dungeon order, but you have some freedom if you’d rather do them a bit out of order, and there is a LOT of fun side stuff you can do and get rewarded for.

Most of that side stuff is an excellent way to highlight the humor in this game. If you beat Malon’s horse race record she mails a literal fucking cow to your house. Your house in Kokiri Forest. You just show up and there is a fucking cow in your house. That is the funniest thing that has ever happened in a game in the history of forever, sorry. You can race the running man, and all of the other sidequests in the game make you think there is a beatable goal you’ll be rewarded for, and the fucker just goes “lol good try but I beat you by one second. :)” You can blow up the Gossip Stones and they turn into rocketships and launch into space. After you beat the game, and have a really poignant moment with Princess Zelda where she sends you back in time, there is a completely out of nowhere dance party featuring the entire cast in celebration. The game does not try to explain this. It just gives you a dance party, and after such a bittersweet finale and such a fun and engaging game, a no-context dance party is exactly what it needs. A line o Gerudo doing the can-can? Thank you, yes please.

There is SO much that this game does not feel any need to justify in-game, that it simply puts in there because it is fun or cool or both, and I appreciate that so much. There are easter eggs out the butt (still haven’t bothered catching the Hylian Loach and I have still NEVER found the sinking lure despite following every guide in existence). Most of the temples imply some sort of greater history that is not even the slightest bit touched on. It has a very cohesive “core” game that has a start-to-finish suggested progression and a matching narrative, and it has absolute mountains of random shit outside of that it in no way pretends to justify. It explains just enough to give it ground to stand on, but no more, leaving you with more questions than answers. That ambiguity drove me nuts as a kid, but now, I think it’s also why I kept coming back. I wanted answers the game wouldn’t give me so I felt compelled to try and find them myself.

Ocarina of Time’s ending is incredible in ways I am just now able to appreciate. First of all, Zelda is like “I’m gonna send you back in time now” and pulls up the Ocarina and instead of playing the Song of Time which everything in the game implies she should, she plays Zelda’s Lullaby and hesitates just enough on the last note as you are sent back in the past - oof, that’s a good moment. The entire game you’re told about how the Kokiri can’t survive outside of the forest and suddenly they’re at Lon Lon Ranch having a dance party. You walk away from the Master Sword and seal it back in the temple, but nonsensically are then able to meet Zelda in her garden as if nothing had happened, meaning she sent you back so far it erased not just the adult timeline but also everything you accomplished as a child too? So many questions, but the fact that it does not even bother to answer them and just leaves you with such an open-ended image of you and Zelda as kids, calling back to that very early moment after the first dungeon in the game, and you can interpret for yourself what exactly that means.

I’m getting rambly (HAHA as if I’m ever not) so I should wrap this up shortly. Ocarina of Time’s ending is why I am so vehemently opposed to the concept of a ~Zelda Timeline~. The ending is nonsensical if you try to apply concrete logic to it. This game proposes ideas and makes me feel a certain way about them and the ending succeeds in providing just enough closure to make me satisfied and just enough open-ness that makes me want to keep coming back to it to experience it again. It’s not an open-and-shut piece of history of a fake world, it’s a really remarkable journey thats ambiguity is what allows it to feel so very magical.

Ooh boy I can’t wait to replay MM again, but that is a game I’ve never stopped playing, so it’ll be anything but fresh. It hits different right after completing OoT, though. The only way to follow up on a story like Ocarina of Time is to be even MORE batshit, ambiguous, and loose with your definition of how time works.

[amnachil]

The College Society Chapter 1 Part 5

The next part is here ! Let’s see what will happen to our guys :)

Liam Monday September 25

Nonchalantly, the young lad headed towards the kitchen. He just woke up, and he felt unmotivated. Why are we forced to start lessons on the morning ? He would have prefer to work only the afternoon. The unicorns were still asleep, lucky magical creatures ! Anyway, he opened the fridge and took the jam (his mother gave him strawberry jam), then grabbed the bread and prepared his breakfast. From his position, he could hear Nick, playing videogames in the living room. Did he have been playing the whole night ? Now used to his roommate's habits, Liam was able to sleep despite the noise. And by the way, when he had gone back home from work, Nick had been still awake playing. Well, it's his life and he does whatever he wants. The young boy finished his breakfast, and headed towards the bathroom. When he passed by the living room, his friend declared :

"Get ready dude, our guests are coming soon."

At first, Liam just nodded. Then, he realised Nick said "guests". What's he talking about ?! We're waiting someone ? (Liam was a bit inattentive, he could miss some informations from time to time, but a meeting ?) (Well, after all he forgot his own mother last sunday...)

"I told you Rebecca and Colton were coming for the group project."

"Colton."

The chestnut boy feared to see Colton. After this... painful moment with Barbara and her boyfriend, he had noticed this one was in their promotion too. And moreover, in his tutorial group. And I freaked out. But of course, Nick and Rebecca chose him for the project. Feeling perfectly awake now, Liam looked at his roommate, thinking about a pretext to run away. Nick, slumped in the sofa, was focused on his game. Besides, the brown lad noticed with a bit of surprise a tiny roll of fat covering his friend's belly. What am I imagining ? He's just bloated because as always, he stuffed himself. After all, several empty bags of chips laid around. (Rebecca had already considered their living room to be a pigsty).

"I'm sorry Nick but... I have something to do this morning." Liam eventually ventured.

"What are you talking about ? You told me you were free to work this morning !"

I don't remember... He often didn't remember what he had said. (Which sometimes led him into troubles). But he needed a reason to avoid Colton as much as possible, or he would have to face Barbara. I might be overreacting a bit... But anyway, I'm launched into this now.

"I left something... at Pasta's Place." he lied poorly. "I need to go this morning before the lesson..."

Nick (who was still playing and fortunatly didn't see Liam face) (Liam was a bad liar, and he was blushing like hell when it came to lie) nodded slowly.

"Okay dude, just go. We'll start without you."

Once in the street alone, Liam felt idiot. He was doing all that only to avoid a conversation about his ex and his family. It's because bad things happened... To be honest, really bad things happened, but he wasn't forced to reveal everything. And the more I shun Colton, the more suspicious he will be about my behaviour. Sadly, Liam was digging himself in deeper. He had been looking to the restaurant for at least thirty minutes, wondering, when someone hailed him. It was Rebecca, and while she was coming closer, his brain started to freak out. Gosh, what is she doing here ? And what can I tell now ?

"I was looking for you." she panted, evidently left out of breath. "I ran everywhere to find you."

"Something bad happened ?" he asked.

She appeared worried, and Liam having quite a good imagination, he was thinking about the worst. Did Colton just eat Nick ? What about the unicorns ? If the forces of evils were already there...

"No, absolutely not. But you weren't coming back, and Nick told me the Pasta's Place was just at ten minutes, but you left like one hour ago. So we were getting preoccupied."

He blinked, surprised. He didn't realise how much time passed. And I didn't expected Nick to be worried... Rebecca stood up straight and stared at him, perplexed.

"Did you find it ?"

"Find what ?"

"The thing you have forgotten."

Again Liam blinked. He totally forgot he had faked forgot something. Am I having memories issues or what ? She already was considering him stupid, but now...

"Yes, I found it." he eventually whispered.

"Nice. By the way, Colton cancelled at the last minute because he had a transport issue, so we have decided to put the project back and the lesson is also cancelled... Liam, are you fine ?"

Realising he was smirking like a kid, the lad stopped. Colton isn't here. Finally a bit of luck. He smiled to Rebecca, and declared :

"We should go back now."

And he started to walk, pleased by the good turn of this morning. (After all, he just avoided Colton). (And they wouldn't work on this annoying project). (He even might go back to sleep, after all).

Later this day, at sunset, Liam was alone at home when someone knocked on the door. We're not waiting anyone... Curious, the lad opened, and ran into the last person he wanted to see.

"Hi son." greeted his father. "You're doing fine, as far as I can see."

Isaac Strucker smiled. Nonetheless, Liam didn't smile back. What is he doing here ?! Why ? When he had moved in town, the young lad had expected to never see him again. His father left the family twelve years ago, when the eldest was only six, and had just came back from time to time, without any justification. Still today, Liam remembered his mother crying, alone in her bedroom, when she discovered she was pregnant of her third child but without any man to help her. And this last summer, Isaac had come back again for... reasons. He had decided to retrieve the children. Since Liam's mother had financial problems, and  thanks to his good lawyer, Isaac won the trial, and Chloe and Luka had to move with him. By luck, Liam was becoming independant, so he avoided this situation, but he kept an huge rancor towards his father. And now he's here, in front of me like if nothing happened. The forces of evil.

"Your mother told the judge you were depressing and not eating well, but it seems to me like your are in good shape Liam." declared his father with a smirk. "I wonder what will she invent next in order to prevent me for helping my children."

"You didn't help us when we needed you." retorted the freshman.

"That's why I'm back now boy. And if you need money, I can give you whatever you..."

"I don't need your help." interrupted the lad. "I'm doing fine by myself. Why are you here ? What do you want from me ?"

Isaac lowered his eyes humbly. He almost seemed sorry, but Liam wasn't naive. He took everything from my mother. She lost her three children in the same time. That's not how you make amends. The young lad remembered those nights, when he helped his mother to take care of Luka, the youngest. He remembered the longs evenings with Chloe, alone at home while their mother worked at her second job. We always managed to live without him, and we were happy. He annihilated everything.

"I can't force you to forgive me Liam." eventually stated his father. "But even if you don't believe me, I was worried since your mother told to the court you were depressing. I just came to see if everything was fine."

He took a break, but the brown boy knew he wanted to add something. He just waited, holding his urge to punch his father. The unicorns had told him he wasn't a good idea..

"Furthermore, I think Chloe and Luka would be happy to see you during the holidays... If you agree to come at my place, of course."

"I thought they were allowed to see mom during the holidays ?" questionned Liam.

"Well, not anymore... My lawyer wanted to prove to the court she was a compulsive liar and too desesperate to be a good mother, and thanks to you, it will be easy."

"Thanks to me ?"

Isaac took off his phone, and smiled cheerfully.

"I filmed you, and, in this way the court'll see you're perfectly fine. This added with the others proofs I collected will be enough for the judge. I was pretty sure you were at my side, my son. Thanks you."

And without waiting a reaction (Liam was too astounded to react quickly), his father just left him while shouting :

"See you for the holidays !"

Rebecca Thursday September 28

"Well, I guess I just have to buy another trash can." mumbled Nick, barely disconcerted.

The young girl, as for her, was dismayed. What the fuck this trash can did to deserve this ? It was dismantled, completly destroyed. And according to Nick, it was only the last victim.

"I understand he got issues with his family, but butcher a trash... Was it necessary ?"

She started to get worried. She would manage to ignore Liam's listlessness, but since monday, he had those surgings of violence she feared.

"I guess the trash can is good for the trash can." laughed Nick. "Anyway, let's go, Theo is waiting you for the training."

"How can you be so quiet ?! Your roommate is a violent guy."

"Nope. Family is the explosive subject, but otherwise, he's totally nice. And anyway, currently, he's just a serial trash can killer. I don't know what they did to him."

"I'm not kidding dude ! You should be prudent."

Nick stared at her with entertainment.

"Are you worried for me ?"

She rolled her eyes. He's impossible. How the hell could we have become friend ?

"As you said, he's a serial trash can killer, so how long before he attacks you ?"

He stuck his tongue out, and headed towards the door with the dead trash can in his hands.

"Let's go Miss Savage !"

Once they were changed and ready to swim, Nick, still wearing his vest, sat on a bench, took his gameboy and lost his interest for her. Watching him, Rebecca chewed her lips. He wasn't doing any exercise, and he was eating junkfood all day long. Just, she had no problem with him doing this, but Bob would disapprove. He wanted her to be in an optimal environment, which meant with healthy and athletics people. Until now, she lied to him, affirming Nick was a good swimmer but... But soon, Bob will come here to see if I'm telling the truth, and he'll find out what's really going on. She had to do something. Nevertheless, she would think about it later, because Theo called her to train, and she joined him. For a moment, she did a series of lengths, focused on her performance, but then, she glimpsed Liam. The chesnut haired lad was absent-mindedly dipping his feet in the water, staring into space. He's so weird... According to Nick, he had some family's issues he didn't want to talk about. But something went wrong on monday, and since, he was destroying trash cans from time to time. Rebecca was curious. She considered him like a friend, and she wasn't the kind of people to let friends alone. And yeah, to be totally honest, she was worried for Nick. To live alone with a violent man was dangerous, especially when this one was taller and beefier than you. Consequently, she headed towards Liam, and sat next to him. (Obviously, he didn't notice her... This guy was seriously daydreaming). (Sometimes, she was jealous about this ability : he could simply be somewhere, and forget everything, simply by watching the sky... that was a kind of superpower).

"Liam, I think we should talk. Look, I saw the trash cans you destroyed, and I think you should calm down a bit, because this is scary. Yeah, Nick is scared."

It was a little lie (honestly, she was convinced Nick was afraid but didn't show it) but probably the best way to make Liam react. For that matter, he looked at her, and sighed lengthily.

"I'm sorry for Nick. I didn't know he loved his trash cans this much. Anyway, I'm fine now, so don't worry. I just needed to...unwind a bit, you see ?"

"If you have problems Liam, we're here to help you." she whispered.

Honestly, she didn't expect him to talk. She knew him now (at least as much as someone could know this moody dude) and he wasn't the kind of people speaking about himself easily. She was fine with this, because herself was a secret girl too.

"Everything's fine." he assured (as she expected). "Thanks you Rebbie, I'm gonna tell Nick I'm sorry about the trash cans. I seriously thought he hated those."

The black girl smiled and nodded, letting him go. Did he retain only that Nick loved the trash cans ? Because it wasn't my point at all...

Later this night, once the training ended, Rebecca was going to left with Liam and Nick when Laura came to her. The short blonde girl looked a bit worried. She had dark rings under her eyes, and hold her bags strongly, like if she feared to be attacked.

"Sorry to bother you Rebecca, but I may have a favor to ask you." she started quickly. "Theo can't bring me back home this night, and I wondered if you could come with me. I have... infamous neightborhood to go through."

The black girl nodded slowly. Why he couldn't escort her ? What a good boyfriend... The two girls left the pool, and once she informed Nick about her change of plans, Rebecca followed Laura. Soon, they ended up alone in the darkness, faintly lit by the only street lamp working. They walked in silence, and the big girl felt unsure as much as they keep moving. Strange noise resonated around them.

"Are you... making this walk every night ?" she asked in order to say something.

"Yes." agreed Laura. "But usually, Theo is with me, and because he's tall and strong, we avoid most of the problems."

"Only most of them ?"

A trash can fell into the floor. (Why it was necessarily a fucking trash can ? He could not be a street lamp ? Or not, because it would be really scary). Rebecca took Laura hands, ready to run, but suddenly, the whole street lit up. A bunch of girls shouted something incomprehensible and rushed her.

"Welcome to the sorority Rebbie !" yelled Laura. "Here is your private induction seminar ! Have fun !"

And before she could say anything (like the fact she wanted to sleep because she had classes tomorrow) she found herself lifted and she lost the control.

Pete Sunday October 1

This ass. This ass. The young lad could not resist but stare at this handsome ass. Theo sport a tight black swimming trunks for the tournament, and exhibited his hunky body for the great pleasure of his lover. Nevertheless, Pete could only watch by far. Obviously because Laura was there, too close, and also because he didn't succeed to please Theo again. Since his conversation with Bradley more than a week ago, the idea of gaining weight in order to attract the captain was growing in his mind. He didn't know if it was really healthy but he was like an addict asking for more drugs. I should talk to him about this but... I'm not sure how to broach the subject. Anyway, while the organizer called the 100 meter crawl swimmer, Pete headed towards the restaurant, and glimpsed Nick, Rebecca and a stranger who were looking to the pool while eating a meal. He joined them and smiled.

"Hi dudes. Can I sit with you ?"

Nick nodded, and the freshman took it for a yes. He knew Rebecca wasn't exactly liking him, but whatever. I don't care about her after all. By the way, this stranger is cute. He was brown, with a beautiful and delicate face, and two glowing blue eyes. Noticing Pete was staring at him, he introduced himself as Colton, Nick and Rebecca's friend.

"Nice to meet you." responded gladly the blond guy.

For a moment, they watched the swimmers and commentated the performances. As Rebecca declined Theo's offer to make the tournament, and because Pete as Nick were too bad, they were all just watching and supporting their team. Now that I think about it, I never saw Nick swim... Outside, the organizer declared Theo winner of the 100 meter, and they all clapped with enthusiasm.

"I knew he was the best." laughed Nick. "We should eat something to celebrate his victory."

"Eat again ?! Seriously dude, you just finished your meal !" took offense Rebecca.

"And what are you gonna do to stop me, mom ?"

Nick stood up and went to the buffet, ignoring the fact his friend was holding an insult.

"He'll finish like a fat cow." she complained. "Don't tell me I didn't warn him."

"Maybe he'll, but that's his problem you know ?" replied softly Colton. "If he prefer eat than watching his figure... As long as he's happy znd healthy, there's no need to worry, right ?"

Rebecca nodded slowly, but Pete was completly focused on Nick, who went back with a huge tray of food. Did he seriously want to eat everything ? By the desesperate look of Rebecca, he wanted to. However, around them, nobody seemed to be displeased by the glutton, and Pete found himself quite fascinated by the way Nick stuffed this food down his throat. He glanced at Theo, who was outside with some friends, and then went back to Nick. Maybe... Maybe if I do the same and gain a bit of weight... I would get Theo back... Or even better, I would have Theo only for me...

After the tournament, Pete went to Mcdo for is work, and managed to eat the most greasy food he found, before he came back home. In order to gain weight rapidly, he already had quite a good idea. Since he was member of the culinar club, he was making the diner for Mike and himself, while his roommate was doing the cleaning and the shopping. And as a football player, this one used a caloric poder (highly compound of protein) in order to maintain his muscle mass. Of course, with a high amount of exercise, it worked quite nice. However, Mike told me that when he took this poder, he had to eat less and as healthy as possible, like salads. Otherwise, it's too fat. But Pete wanted greasy food. He wasn't a big eater, his stomach had a low capacity, but the poder wasn't nourishing, so he could easily swallow it with a big plate. By doing this for several days, he would gain a bit of weight, and Theo would be turned on. That was why Pete started to prepare a huge meal for him and Mike, and then put some poder in it. Mike is doing so much sport, and is so tall, he'll not see any difference. Then, he sat on the table, and called his roommate.

"It smell delicious !" was glad this latter. "You outdid yourself... Are we celebrating something special ?"

"I heard you won the first match of the season." lied Pete. "So here's the reward."

It was a little lie, nothing too bad after all. Mike looked at him, and mumbled :

"I was on the bench the whole time but thanks I guess. You're cool."

"Yeah, I know."

They both started to eat, and for the first time in his life, Pete felt the desire to devour as much as possible, because he knew it was the only way to please Theo.

To be continued

Hope you liked it :). Well, to those who wonder, the main plot is around Liam, but through other characters we can explore more of their college society. The first chapter is also a kind of introduction. There are 6 parts left !

There is still a lot to go through, especially for our poor Liam... What in his past is so unpleasant that he wants to forget it ? Rebecca is still looking for her place in this new place, will she manage to find it ? And will Pete succeed to reconquer Theo ?

If you want to know more about Liam, don’t forget to read my previous story ; The High School Game !

See you next week ! (I hope :x)

[dreammutual-remade]

mua!you and lucas

request: hi may you please do a bullet point scenario about lucas and his girlfriend who is a make up artist for nct. thank youu- anon

word count: 3.4k

a/n: anon !!! thank u for requesting I lowkey struggled with this concept bc I was like uhhh how r they gonna u know,,, do the affection but once I figured it out this was so fun to write !!! I love Lucas hehehehehe. also I realized when I was picKINg this gif that I forgot to include the filming of the yearbook shiygeidfhvf pretend it didn't happeN okay

ps I have 8 requests as of now and I promise I will get to all of them pls have patience w/ me ily all <33333

good evening, Thots

let us dive in, shall we

alright so you had been doing makeup since you were a wee lass !!

of course it was , pretty terrible but like practice makes perfect and now you’re an absolute LEGEND

one of your friends convinced you to start posting tutorials and have an instagram acc dedicated to your Iconic Looks and the rest was history !!!!

you started getting hella attention everyone loved you bitch !!!

so you started advertising you were like ayy if y’all need your makeup done , hmu i am Skilled

at first you started out doing other gals makeup for formal dances and whatnot

then you climbed your way up the celebrity ladder and now you’re a god damn nct makeup artist ?????

things you did: THAT

alright so you got hired just in time for cherry bomb promotions

you took a look at some of their past looks and ,,,,, you were horrified honestly who did that to them

SM CAN GET FUCKED

anyways you Turned Their Shit Around and had them lookin bout fine as hell

all the boys had been super awkward around you at first and it was soooo funny

because you were pretty used to being v close to people you don’t know well

from all the years of doing other people’s makeup now you just go right in

you got real close to mark and he squeaked and like pressed himself back into the chair

like ? shouldn’t he be used to this by now ???

johnny was the only one who was cool with you the first time even if he was an absolute SLEAZEBAG

“sorry if i get all up in your face i’m just trying to keep your eyebrows FLEEKY U KNO WHAT IM SAYIN”

“nah i don’t mind having a face like yours that close ;)))))”

“oops didn’t mean to bump into your knee like that”

“that’s okay my lap is always open for u :}”

he’s the worst god i love him

you’re on the younger side too so he’s all,

c̢̖̲̹̞̰̪ͅa̫͠l̶̜̞l̠̝͇͠ ̪̙͕̲̫̯m̙̪͖e̱͙̦̳̦̝͢ ͕̼̳̰̞o̹p҉͖̘͙͍̞̲p͍̙͙͙̹̖͞a҉̠͓̠̜͕

and you’re all

NO

taeyong asks how old you are and as soon as he finds out you’re younger than him he becomes your mom

you’ll be doing his makeup and he’s like okay but have u eaten today ??? you look too thin please eat

“one: stop moviNG IM TRYING TO CONTOUR YOU and two: please are u my damn grandmother i’m FINE i’ve eaten plenty :&&;&,$,”

you and haechan just roast each other the whole time

“yet another pimple i see, hyuckie, have you been keeping up with the skincare regimen i sent you home with?”

“first of all, fuck you, second of all, you sent me home with a piece of paper that said ‘you can wash your face to get rid of the acne but there’s nothing you can do about the ugly’ you evil WITCH”

but it’s all in good fun and you and hyuck are besties at heart and can tell when it’s not a good day for teasing

whenever you can tell he’s down you make sure to be extra playful when you’re putting on his makeup, tapping him on the nose or tickling his ear with your makeup brush til he giggles

i’m soft gOD

THIS ISNT A DONGHYUCK FIC I GOTTA CHILL

the rest are pretty cool with you too!! yuta is a worse flirt than johnny though it’s like unnecessary but it’s funny and you know he’s , mostly kidding, so you let it slide

anyways !!! cherry bomb is coming to a close and you did That the entire time you had them absolutely GLOWING

but then you get some emails from your boss talking about a new NCT U song/concept that will be filmed toward the end of the year

((i think that’s when it was filmed ?? i’m so sorry if there’s inaccuracies in here i’m very bad with dates :’-)))))))

they tell you you’re traveling to the UKRAINE

THATS FAR

and VERY COLD

they also tell you that they’re gonna be debuting two new members in this unit and you’re a little Nervous since you’ve only been doing 127’s and Dream’s makeup for the past like , half a year

(u were responsible for the we young era,,,,, god bless u)

but you’re also excited because they described the concept to you and you’ve already got ideas to make everyone look Hot and Badass

your boss sent some predebut pics and said the new ones were Yukhei and Jungwoo and, wOW THEYRE PRETTY

jungwoo looks absolutely soft and squishy so you’re a bit worried about making him look ,,,,, BOSS but yukhei.

is a whOLE MAN

he’s got big eyes and lips that give him softer features but , the look in his eyes and like his cheekbones and ????? wow you’re gonna turn him into Daddy Material

anywhom

the time has come and we are on our way to the ukraine !!! yeehaw it’s cold as balls out here

you arrive and get to stay in the hotel for a night before you gotta Get To Work

you arrive bright and early with all your beauty products

you , as the resident makeup artist, look cute as hell even if you are rather cold

your nose is tinted a bit red even tho you have foundation on rip

you set up your little station in the main tent because they’re gonna film all the outdoor parts first

jaehyun walks in first with winwin and they he looks scruffy af

“jaehyun you DOLT did you not shave ??? you know that tickles my hand when i’m trying to make you hot”

“i’m already hot”

“uh huh go shave your face i guarantee you don’t want me to try”

“ugh, yes ma’am”

“hey winwinie~”

“good morning !!!”

winwin is Precious and Easy To Work With as usual

mark comes in next and he’s flustered and cute AS USUAL

of course he’s comfy with you now but you enjoy making him flustered

“mark, baby, you’re GLOWING today!!! go off king”

“y/N PLEASE ENOUGH”

doyoung comes next and his Flawless Skin makes the process so much easier for you ugh

reLEASE THE SKINCARE ROUTINE

COWARDS

anywhom you get to meet jungwoo next !!!

FUCKIN UWU

his blue hair ,,,,,,,, amazing

he’s so sweet and releases little breathy giggles every once in a while when the brushes tickle him

you’re finishing up with jungwoo when, the Man Himself literally stumbles into the tent

“hyUNG are you almost done we’re bout to film man”

and he is absolutely Large and you are , very appreciative god damn

even barefaced this man baby looks GOOD that is not fair :-(

“lucas!~ you still have to get your makeup done but i think y/n was almost finished. are you?”

jungwoo turns to look up at you while he asked and you, have to exercise GREAT restraint not to talk to him in a baby voice

so you just nod and then give him a once over and tell him he can go ahead to wardrobe

you wave yukhei over and you’re like hey uh ,,, yukhei? or should i call u lucas ?!/!:&:&

he cackles and asks you to call him lucas and asks your name and how old you are and what your star sign is and your favorite color and your nct bias

(when you tell him you love them all equally he’s all like Not For Long 

>:-))) soon i shall PREVAIL)

basically he’s questioning you and you’re like oKAY PLEASE IM TRYING TO MAKE YOUR FACE BEAUTIFUL

“my face is already beautiful thank u very MUCH”

“you boys are all the same jaehyun  already pulled that shit today, LAME”

he pouts and you tap him on the lip with the handle of your makeup brush and then Get To Work

you truly have him lookin RIGHT wooo shit he looks good

and as you’re doing it your brain is like that clip from sponge bob where squidward is like oh NO he’s hot !!!! :(

you’re doing his eye makeup and you’re standing, in between his legs like they’re so long and in the way it’s the only way to get close enough to to do it well and you’re highkey, Blushing

he’s literally just staring up at you while you do his makeup and your hands are starting to shake what business does he have with such big brown puppy dog eyes :((((

“hey quit staRINg at me dude”

“ am i making u,,,, nervous ;)”

“, YES pls stop :((“

“aw i’m srry :((((“

pouts AGAIN and you shove his shoulder a little for making fun of you

when you finish you just kind of nod and he takes that as a go ahead and like SPRINGS up

and you’re standing very close so he almost knocks you the hell over

you tip backwards and he grabs you by the waist to steady you while you basically grab handfuls of his clothes to keep you upright

there’s a pause where you guys are just.. pressed together before you fly apart and lucas awkwardly rubs the back of his neck like nervous boys do in movies AW

“i really gotta stop knocking people over i almost took oUT jungwoo earlier srry abt that :’-))))))”

you’re like haha it’s fine :’-))))))))))))))

it’s really awkward so he yeets out of there just as taeyong strolls in looking entirely too smug

“so, you’ve taken a liking to our newest member hmmmm ??”

“aw no jungwoo is just so cute !!”

“quit playing dumb you knew what i meant”

“okaY but literally nothing happened please don’t make this a big deal”

“it’s a big deal bbg it’s tOO LATE NOW”

you sigh and then do his makeup pretty quickly since even barefaced he looks unreal

fckin anime character

okay everyone is now made up and dressed (jaehyun came last freshly shaven , looking like a bar of soap as usual) and you’re on standby outside to fix any little blemishes they may get while filming

everything is pretty good because most of the boys are used to wearing makeup but lucas is Dumb and just like ?? rubs at his eye and wipes half of it off ????

you sCREECH as he’s doing it and he jumps and is like ??? what is it what’s wrong with you

“what’s wrong with me ??? wHATS WRONG WITH YOU I WORKED HARD TO MAKE YOU LOOK THAT ETHEREAL DAMNIT”

you have to fix it on the spot so y’all can stay on schedule so he does that thing where he stands with his legs super far apart so his face is level with yours

his legs are so far apart in order for him to be short enough rip (.... literally. pray for his pants u guys)

you fix up his eye and warm him that you’ll give him a black eye with your fist instead of makeup if he messes up your Artwork again

the shoot goes really well and you get to know lucas and jungwoo better throughout the rest of the filming

things are…. tense between you and lucas but not in like a bad way more like a we are both sort of attracted to each other and unsure what to do from here way

lucas gets braver as time passes and has become wayyyyy more flirty

the tension just sort of transforms to hardcore flirting and little fleeting touches jskdkfk

you havent stopped blushing for like 4 days straight

as you do his makeup he’ll stare up at you with fckn awestruck eyes and one of his hands will drift up to circle around your wrist as you tilt his head this way and that

its a GIANT hand too I just wanna mention that they're very nice hands thank you for your time

as you do his makeup you’ll purposefully let your hand linger on his neck and use your thumb to caress turn his jaw

when you stand between his legs to do his makeup he’ll scoot to the edge of the chair to get as Close As Possible until your hips are almost touching the inside of his thighs ???:$&:&:@:@

SPICY

but eventually the shoot is over :(((( rip

buT no worries ;))))) black on black is being filmed in like a month and you’ll see his goofy ass soon heheh

highkey black on black makes u , Hot And Bothered like the part where lucas is on the floor and doing thaT THING

YALL KNOW WHAT IM TALKIN ABOUT

he highkey gets up and is like

did u like that babygirl ~~~ 😤😘💕🤪😩

and you just stick your tongue out at him and he sticks his tongue out at you and it’s Juvenile

“JUST MAKE OUT ALREADY!!!!”- johnny, from across the room

you: Red

lucas: wheezing

you guys pull all the same touchy flirty bullshit for this MV filming too and all the boys are like o.o

“hyung are u dating our makeup artist(¬‿¬) ” -chenle

“god i wish”

“what”

“i mean , no”

and now BOSS has been released and you’ve gotta do his makeup for all these stages and you two just , keep dancing around each other

when the boys get their first win for BOSS tho lucas is sO HYPE

because it’s his first time really performing live and they WON AND ???? THIS IS CRAZY

and he’s so happy he’s like shaking and he bursts into the dressing room after they all come off stage

he makes it there before everyone else because he RAN like a dork

you’re packing up all your stuff and hear the door open and you turn around to congratulate the boys but it’s just lucas and he runs in and pICKS YOU UP

he spins you around and sets you down and is like

JSDKSJDK Y/N WE WON ????

and you’re like

OMG YEAH I KNOW IM SO PROUD OF U ??!:&:@.

and then he just kisses you right on the lips in excitement

it’s just a press of lips and it was barely a kiss since he was still smiling so hard

his smile fades after and he looks , terrified

you also are terrified because ?

he’s Done It Now

the imaginary LINE has been CROSSED

but like, the barrier is broken now right ????

yolo

so you just shake your head and flick him on the nose

“damn you could have taken me to dinner first”

he laughs nervously because you haven’t made it clear whether or not you’re going to murder him and, That’s Scary

but you giggle and press up on your toes to kiss him more gently and tell him it’s okay and you like him and if he likes you back that would be GREAT

and he just smooshes you against him really hard and presses at least 26 kisses to your cheeks and it tickles and you’re like heY STOP THE LIPSTICK I PUT ON YOU WILL STAIN ME

“i like u too,, HEHEHHE”

“god you had to ruin it by cackling like the wicked witch of the west didn’t you???”

“absolutely, sweetheart :)”

okay the rest of nct u is on the way so you quickly agree that this should be a Semi Secret relationship because he’s so new to the scene and he’s probably not even allowed to date rn lol

but he INSISTS that he can treat you well no matter what and who are you to stop him honestly

he’s so blatant with the touching while you do his makeup now though that although you haven’t explicitly told anyone ,,, all the members of NCT know

he just loops his arms around your hips and pulls you close and blatantly admires you while you’re concentrated on his makeup

squeezes your ass every once in a while which makes you squeak and slap his shoulder

that little SHIT

one time taeil caught you sneaking in some food for lucas during dance practice and was like

“honestly just come in we all know you’re in a relationship gOD it’s so obvious”

so now you come to dance practice all the time with food for him and extra for the other boys

he’s always jealous

literally all the time

you’ll be doing marks makeup and hyping him up as usual

(baby bOY DESERVES IT)

and lucas will be :(((((( y don’t u say that stuff to me

“i literally say that and more to you and about you”

“okay but why not only me :(((((“

“oh my god”

or when you bring food he’ll be like NO she brought this for me go away you commoners !!!!!

honestly you feel like you’re taking care of a toddler sometimes except he’s HUGE

you have to be like

“now lucas, sharing is caring and i brought enough for everyone stop being gREEDY”

any free time he has he comes to your apartment

mainly because you guys want to be mushy and coupley and not have to listen to all the members whining and fake gagging

he’ll knock on your door at midnight with a blanket in hand and fresh out of the shower and looking CUTE

“can i sleep over :(((( i cant sleep without you:((((((“

BITCH

your heart melts oh my shosjdjdjckf

and this boy basically can’t sleep without you now because he sleeps over so much im emo

at first he insists on being the big spoon every time but after awhile Sleepy Baby Boy Lucas reveals himself

when he’s super tired he’ll just let himself in and climb in your bed and plant his head on your chest and his arms around your waist and just sigh contentedly

if he can’t sleep he’ll steal your hand and place it on top of his head and nudge you til you start running your fingers through his hair and scratching his scalp

uwu this is so cute

loves to hold your hands whenever possible

you guys can’t really go on dates since the relationship is Super Secret and he wants so bad to show you off but he CANT :/

so he just pretends y’all are out on the town and holds your hand at home when you’re just chillin

has taken to putting things you need in very high places so he can come up behind you and reach over your head to hand it to you

okay but like once in a while you both do your best to have a Normal Date where you go out doors you just have to be

Incognito Mode

so summer dates dont really work out since it’s hard to hide your identity when you’re not covered head to toe because it’s HOT

they’re mainly winter dates like ice skating and hot chocolate and fall festival stuff !!!!

he insists that you go to any festival in town like INSISTS

festival for a random and obscure flower?? you best believe you’re attending and going home covered flowers

he tried to make you a flower crown but it kept falling apart so he just stuck flowers all up in your hair AWE

forced you to pose so he could take pictures of you

(he made it his lock screen !!!! uwu)

this boy just, loves you so much and the day he tells you is when you’re both sick and dying because he got a cold and then gave it to you so you’re both laying in bed feeling Terrible

you’re laying there and feeling lightheaded and too hot but you’re both Clingy so you still hold hands at least lmao

and lucas tugs on your hand and you flop on your side to look at him expectantly

“yes, lucas?”

“hey”

“hey”

“guess what”

“hmmmmm what”

“i love you”

“oh, me too”

“like you love me too or you love you too”

“U2 is alright i guess”

“no i mean do you love me or yourself”

“both”

“sweet, self love is important too”

and theN YOU TERRIBLE PEOPLE PASS OUT HEHSHS

WHO CONFESSES THEIR LOVE LIKE THAT ????

when you wake up you feel slightly better and look over and see Your Man sprawled out over the bed with one arm haphazardly thrown over you

he rlly can’t sleep without a hand on you that is so so cute fuckdjkdjd

you remember confessing your love to each other in a delirious and feverish haze and snicker because it was RIDICULOUS

you gently turn to face him so you don’t wake him up and trail your fingertips up his arms to trace his features

his eyes flutter open and he’s literally unreal like he looks like an angel

and he smiles all sleepy like and brings his hand up to capture your wrist and kiss your palm

“good morning i’m no longer fucked up on theraflu and i love you”

“good morning i’m also no longer fucked up and i love you MORE”

he scoffs dramatically

“not possible !!!!!”

“is too !!!”

“is nOT”

“IS TOO”

“IS NOT”

and so on :-)

[crystalelemental]

FE Fates Replay - Part 1

Introductory segment, starring the better cast!

I did keep to the plan and am running Female Corrin.  I gave her the light purple hair.  It looks surprisingly nice on her.  Everything else was kinda standard.  I thought about alternate hair styles, but honestly her default looks the best.  I will say that I think the grids they use are stupid, though.  They list girly as one of the qualities in expression types, but one of the options furthest on that slider just had her eyes closed all the time like Brock, so I’m not sure that’s...girly, exactly.  My boon/bane layout is Clever/Unlucky, which translates to big magic but no luck.  Luck should always be your bane, kids.  I do find it annoying that they replaced the obvious descriptions with these new terms.  It’s not hard to figure out what’s what, but I know the stats and their associations.  If you’re new to the series, you might have no idea what Robust is.  Is that HP or Defense?  If it weren’t for keeping them all in the same order, I wouldn’t know.  It’s a similar thing to changing up class names; it’s really kinda pointless and only serves to confuse.  My subclass was Samurai, because I like the idea of Vantage and Swordfaire, which I feel is harder to find on her through the castles than all the other really good options.  Also I already have cards with Renewal and Luna, and it’s not gonna be hard to find Aegis/Pavise, so these two seemed like more interesting options.  With character creation out of the way, let’s get started!

The prologue is mostly just the now-standard in medias res tutorial.  Only, they had you side with the Hoshidans, because they’re totally not trying to sway your judgment here.  There’s not much to comment on, but I will note this, because it’s interesting: every time the Hoshidans talk about Nohr, the words “scum” and “filth” seem to come up every time.  They seem completely incapable of referring to the Nohrians as anything else.  Also, it’s absolutely hysterical to me that Xander nearly one-shots Ryoma, and Ryoma needs to activate Astra just to make an attempt at keeping up with damage output.  I think we all know who the better brother is here.

Chapter 1 is another simple tutorial, this time with Xander.  Not gonna lie, it might be Heroes influence, but I like Xander.  He’s nice.  He’s tough on Corrin, but is invested in helping her improve as a warrior to escape the fortress and be able to go out like she’s wanted.  He’s a good brother.  Who I thought was older, but may not be.  Unclear.  The other siblings are okay.  Camilla hasn’t really done a lot, Elise is just adorable, and Leo also hasn’t done much but prove that he’s kind of a klutz who’s like “there’s more to being strong than just slapping hunks of iron together!”  We also get a brief introduction to Flora and Felicia, who are pretty fun.  Nothing substantial on them yet.

Chapter 2 is a bit more interesting.  You finally meet the dad, Garon, who is a transparent villain that’s really not interesting at all.  He gives Corrin a suspicious sword, and tells her to kill off their prisoners from Hoshido.  The map itself...honestly is still mostly tutorial, this time for weapon triangle matchups.  It even gives you free healing in the center of the stage.  It’s more about developing small tactics and seeing how the different weapon types match up now.  I still don’t care for tomes being lumped in with swords and having a universal weakness.  I greatly prefer magic being outside the weapon triangle, and having its own matchups.  Still pissy about that...  Anyway, Corrin refuses to kill defeated prisoners, and Garon orders Xander to take care of it, so he gets involved.  Leo’s quick thinking keeps everyone out of trouble, and lets the prisoners, Kaze and Rinkah, survive.  Honestly, I do kinda like Leo after this map.  I forgot how clever he can actually be at times.  The whole family being against their father’s orders to kill the defenseless is also nice, though it makes you wonder about Garon himself, you know?  I know he used to be a good king, and suddenly changed, but like...when did the change happen, anyway?  How long was the family raised by good king Garon, and how did they not notice the drastic and immediate shift?  Corrin’s pretty nice here too.  Callie made a good observation for the series as a whole: “For a lot of these stories about kingdoms, the focus is on who’s in power, but the Fire Emblem lords tend to be way more concerned about how to help their people, and it’s really nice.”  I would agree, and Corrin does keep this trait.  She’s very concerned about establishing peace again after the war, and wants citizens on both sides to be safe.  Corrin’s alright.

Chapter 3, the doofening.  Hans and Iago, the other transparent villain idiots, are introduced.  Xander makes mention of Hans being arrested a few years back, which I guess alludes a bit to time frame for Garon’s transformation.  Law and order was properly upheld until “a few years ago.”  Without a proper scale we can’t say how long that was, but Xander was old enough to be on the job upholding the peace, so I’d assume no more than like...4-5 years, maybe?  Basically, the Nohrian siblings should’ve been old enough to recognize the sudden and drastic change.  Anyway, after your defiance of the king last chapter, you’re given a new mission and told you won’t even need to really fight this time.  Your objective is to scope out an abandoned fort near the Nohr/Hoshido border.  Gunter, Jakob, and Hans will be going with.  Corrin arrives, finds that the fort is filled with Hoshidans, and makes the sensible decision of “whoops, it’s not abandoned, better report this and not engage in needless conflict.”  To which Hans, predictably, runs in and kills a guy, then run into the fray and gets himself killed in like two turns because he’s inept.  Now...hear me out.  This guy’s plan was to kill one soldier, then charge in.  During this, Corrin shouts that Hans is disobeying orders, and acting independently.  In a sensible situation, this should be an easily resolved problem.  Corrin and the others actually following her orders stand back, or accost Hans themselves, and parlay with the Hoshidans, who have no intention fighting.  Instead, you engage them needlessly because Hans ran in.  So...okay, I guess.

You clear out the map, and get an introduction to Saizo and Kagero.  They’re not exactly compelling, beyond Saizo being kinda sexist here?  He dismisses Corrin as just a girl who couldn’t possibly know how to fight, but as soon as Xander shows up is like “Ah, this must be their real commander.”  Fuck you too, buddy.  Camilla’s actually hilarious at this point.  She decimates Saizo’s allies, and Corrin is momentarily taken aback by her usually gentle sister’s ferocity.  Elise is just like “Oh right, you’ve never seen her on the battlefield.  She’s just like this.”  It’s kinda great.  Kagero notifies Saizo that Ryoma is on his way with support, and Xander finally, FINALLY makes the sensible call to just fucking leave.

Oh, but of course it’s not that easy.  Hans is still alive somehow, despite rushing into enemy territory, having no support from us, and getting immediately blasted as he ran toward a heavily fortified post.  He also, somehow, knocks Gunter into the bottomless pit.  Corrin is outraged and demands answers, doing some weird body morphing dragon stuff in the process.  Not gonna lie, I forgot she did this, and it does look pretty cool.  Hans tells her was only doing it under the king’s orders, then he runs off.  Your weird evil sword tries to throw you into the pit as well, somehow, but wait!  Lilith is here, and she’s apparently a baby dragon creature that saves you!  You’re brought to a pocket dimension that the dragons can access, and this is how My Castle is established.  I will bitch endlessly about My Castle soon, I promise.  But for now, we’re just as quickly sent back out to where we warped in, and are immediately knocked out by Rinkah.  Nice.

Overall I’d say there’s nothing too egregious yet.  Chapter 3 is the least sensible, but I’m willing to waive some of the decisions as just pushing the plot along.  The only real hang-up I have is about Garon, who I just feel like should’ve been found out a long time ago.  Like...immediately, perhaps.  The Nohrians presumably had years with their true father, being raised with the moral compass they all have, yet the guy changes overnight and no one really questions it?  It’s a bit far-fetched, even by this series’ standards.  But, I guess we have to get the board set up somehow, or maybe Xander keeping the peace around the kingdom was on his own initiative and not the king’s orders.  Who knows.  Anyway, part 2 will happen eventually.  I’m mostly getting to play when Callie’s bored of the game, so expect some slow progress, but our next update point will be after the Hoshidan tutorial chapters.  Stay tuned.

[vengeancect]

you like making rpg maker games right? are there any reoccurring characters or themes that show up in them? who or what do you take inspiration from?

it’s a very weird surprise that anyone cares or knows enough about me to even ask this, like you’re genuinely that interested. i don’t think i can answer your questions, at least allow myself to answer them, but i can explain to you what the two games ARE, hopefully in the driest most neutral way that won’t make the audience in my head cringe    oh wow this didn’t go very well FUCK

i made the first one (skull island) i think starting on august 31st 2016. i stopped making it somewhere around late november. i made it purely because someone had kindly gifted me the program, and i felt like i’d be ungrateful if i didn’t make something with it. my initial idea was to just throw some awful 15 minute long thing together, use some “random” humor, show it to some people, they’ll laugh and forget about it and i’ll be free from this. but as it went on i felt compelled to put more things in it. my internet was going out often back then so i’d just be left alone working on it for hours on end. i made a starter area and then a hub area and then the 3 main areas and their respective secret events. as it went on, i had ideas and understood i wouldn’t be able to fully realize them due to my nonexisting talent. it was this very strange exhausting tightrope between shame and irony. i went from making areas to trying to draw my own assets, an extremely infuriating experience. i made a school, a city area leading into a park leading into a lab, and a night-time highway leading into a tunnel leading into my patience running out and me getting sick of this and just ending the game. everything about it is completely unbalanced. i went through the trouble of designing enemies even though i could never figure out how to make most of them attack during battles. i incorporated real chat logs and things i’d heard about in the past into their own “levels” and events. the “main character” was still just a stock rpgmaker sprite even though i had gone through the trouble of editing other sprites for characters to make them semi-original. very uncomfortable dialogue was written. you could get a whip as a weapon, from an NPC who tells you “you look good with it”. or something. the bgm for that area was text to speech voices saying “you were always sick, i was always sick”. it stopped being a joke, but it wasn’t serious, it instead became nonsense. there are no themes. there’s no inspiration. nothing could justify this.

when making it i remembered this text file i had from back in 2014, where i detailed areas and the plot of a game i wished i could make but never even tried to. it was about the world disappearing, the protagonist being the only human left alive. his name was mori. he’d find other characters eventually including a little boy who liked watching stars. i put no thought into how it would work, i guess i just unconsciously knew it couldn’t realistically be made without a lot of knowledge, hard work and talent. i thought it would be funny if i tried bringing those characters and areas into life ayway, into this stupid half-joke clusterfuck of a game. the stargazing kid does nothing but despair about how his existence is tainted, how he wants to “go back”, ie. go back to being an idea of something good. parts of that old text file flash by the screen constantly in the background. i made roleplay scenarios from when i was 13 into “””gameplay”””. like “follow this red line in a void, you are then led to a house (that is just a blue rectangle), go up the stairs and meet this naked faceless boy with a suicide note written into his body, who then blows up in a shower of blood and gore.” a random battle happens just before the final stretch of the game. it appears to be a mound of scrap metal and junk with an old TV sticking out the top. this is a reference to another character that appeared in the old concept. a “cool” bad boy character with a TV for a head. i guess that’s how you can tell it was written in 2014. the final boss is Mori, who talks about “leaving this world” through death. in a horrendously drawn replica of my bedroom, you find the original synopsis for the 2014 game, in the end it asks “what happened?” over and over again. the final bit of gameplay in the game is a calm scene with a character talking to you about how all of this was meaningless and you shouldn’t worry about it. you walk by a bunch of graves. the final screen is 3 graves, one for Mori and one for the stargazer, and one open grave for you. you jump in it and the game ends. a quick joke that could have gotten a laugh out of someone turned into a 3 month long self-indulgent masochistic shameful project of fetishized inability, then recorded and put on youtube to satisfy my digital hoarder compulsions.

OKAY NOW FOR THE OTHER ONE in 2017 i tried my hand at making some assets and characters for a game, another fucked up grand concept like the 2014 one and just as impossible to implement. shame got the better of me this time and i gave up. near the end of march 2018 a person i know had made a joke game on Unity just to get acclaimed to the engine. this one was actually successful, short, and made me laugh. i thought it would be funny to one-up said person and make a game myself. and then i tried. and then i learned i couldn’t do it and immediately lost interest. but for some reason i didn’t stop

instead i made safe room, which i developed for all of april and released late may this year. so i made it in less time than skull island, even though both games are just about an hour long, and with this one i had used almost entirely original assets. huh. i repurposed the characters and areas i drew in 2017 and made up a new “””story””” involving them, though some of the usual self depricating “hahaha wasted ideas asshole” humor came through in this one aswell, nowhere as much though. a young boy is stuck in the basement of some mysterious man who had presumably kidnapped him from somewhere. his condition is a mystery and so are the motives of his kidnapper. there is this smart-mouthed, incessant, gameplay interrupting voice constantly coming in and deriding him for everything, but at the same time almost empathizing with him. the voice is confused about it’s own existence. you have nothing to do but watch time go by mercilessly, dreaming to try escaping from your situation. there are no battles in this one. there are two puzzles except they don’t work. i couldn’t figure out how to make them work. i also didn’t care. i stole a lot of music, because in skull island i was terrified that someone would copyright me and hastily cobbled together a bunch of ear-splitting bullshit. at this point i was begging to just stop. stop doing this kind of shit. it’s not funny. it’s not cool how i made this despite not wanting to, despite having years of free time and infinite resources and tutorials on how do anything at my fingertips. this is just shameful. this time there’s 4 “levels” except one of them is like 5 minutes long. i wanted to go a little further with this barely-a-concept i made up. laziness had something else in mind, however. again the “inspiration” is taken from the strange internet interactions i had in the past. fake stories from other people. one trick pony. you go from a forest, to a small house in the “woods”, to a snowy, corrupted mountain taken from a stupid dream i had years ago, to a creepy museum. it’s more…polished than the last one? i guess? it has an unique text box. the main character’s sprite is edited. there’s a place where you have to jump to platforms. sometimes there’s “animated” sprites. i suppose it’s an improvement. the best, nicest looking thing in this game wasn’t made by me. you could play this with your eyes closed, though that’s absolutely not to the game’s detriment.

“You are locked in a room. Some time has passed, enough for you to start doubting everything. You have to escape, you guess, but it’s hard. It gets harder to do anything the more time goes by. You’re forced to depend on him, the person who brought you here in the first place. Most days, there’s nothing you can do. In the middle of all this, I came to exist. Let’s figure this out together, okay?“ this is it’s official description

oh god i hate this. oh man. oh wow what a fucking idiot i am. i can’t even tell if this is ignorant or just narcissistic. i’m just gonna leave this here and go away

[hellyeahrpmemes]

※ JENNA MARBLES SENTENCE STARTERS, PT. XI ※

here’s sentences from jenna’s 10 most recent videos! feel free to change names/pronouns/zodiac signs/etc.! more jenna sentences

I COOK MY BOYFRIEND’S FAVORITE MEAL

“Is this a leisure suit?”

“This is my own, customized, personal leisure suit.”

“I’m pretty sure that you got that out of my closet.”

“I bought it today with your credit card.”

“She drank wine, demanded greatness, and I delivered.”

“I guess it’s only fair - you did all that cooking for me, now I’ll do it for you.”

“I’m looking forward to the fact that you’re not going to be in the kitchen.”

“I should’ve never made this video.”

“Thank you, this is actually helpful.”

“Get your beer off the cutting board.”

“This recipe really requires a lot of knife skills that I don’t have.”

“How many times have things caught on fire?”

“I like this encouragement.”

“Seven fucking hours later, I’m still cutting these carrots.”

“I didn’t do that with you… I mean, I did, a little bit.”

“You’re not banned from the kitchen, with no arms.”

“I mean, I’m not the most gifted chopper, but this is nice and even.”

“This isn’t really looking that right.”

“This is not dough whatsoever. This is just a bowl of flour.”

“People make dumplings for fun?”

“Don’t worry, all you have to do is individually, carefully craft them by hand.”

“You asked me what I wanted, and I told you.”

“I’m hungry. I want to spend the next seven hours making my food.”

“I feel like this is the kind of dish that would break me. Like, I’m gonna cry.”

“It’s crazy how quickly I can eat one of these.”

“You told me this was gonna work.”

“This doesn’t look good at all.”

“If this doesn’t work, I’m gonna cry, and we’re just gonna starve.”

“It’s so thicc with two Cs.”

“Wait, so you can do this without being fancy, because, do I look like a fancy person to you?”

“I don’t like dumplings anymore, I just decided I’m allergic to dumplings.”

“I wanna move on with my life… I wanna get excited about my life.”

“Don’t cry and sing Dr. Phil.”

“Whoever invented dumplings is a sick, bored fuck.”

“These better be the best dumplings you’ve ever had, because, let me tell you something, it’s not worth it.”

“What year is it…!?”

“Somebody’s gonna die today.”

“That was the best part of my day, right there.”

“This is a terrifying food.”

“This is a violent dish.”

“I feel like they’re too hot to eat… only one way to test it.”

“This was worth all the stress and fury you went through.”

“How did you eat that, that’s so hot…!?”

“Why are all your recipes dangerous? Does it make your food taste better if it’s kind of dangerous?”

“It’s getting everywhere, I don’t like this.”

“I swear to god, I don’t want to go to the hospital tonight.”

“I know you had to be patient today, which you’re not used to being.”

“There’s nothing comforting about cooking these. It’s just violent, and tense, and stressful.”

CUTTING AND COLORING MY OWN HAIR 2

“He should’ve learned his lesson the first time he left me.”

“I’m really having a great time only doing my own hair.”

“A semi-permanent isn’t really a commitment.”

“It’s like a low-commitment tattoo.”

“If this is truly semi-permanent, I can do this shit whenever I want.”

“Guess who doesn’t give a fuck about her hair? Me, bitch.”

“Does this part feel like Doritos? Yeah, it does, but it’s all part of the journey.”

“I have great technique, I’m a born natural, bitch.”

“Instead of wearing a dumpy shirt that I don’t care about, I’ll wear my favorite shirt so that it forces me to be careful.”

“We’re making a semi-commitment right now.”

“Fuck it, let’s go to the Dark Side.”

“Oh, I’m making it worse.”

“Listen to that, doesn’t it sound like hair care at it’s finest?”

“All you people that joke about not going outside enough and not getting enough sun, try me, bitch.”

“Oh, how did this happen?”

“Why do we even bother wearing gloves?”

“I’m excited to see just how semi-permanent this is.”

“I am second guessing my methods.”

“Give me your honest opinion. What do you think?”

“I didn’t just want this color on my hair. I wanted it all over my face, body, and neck.”

“This is kind of fucking rad.”

“I dyed my hair by myself, at home, alone.”

“It’s dark, it’s fun, I look like a superhero.”

“Don’t even bother with all this parting shit, just get in there and do it.”

“Should I just go full bang? Should I do it?”

“I’m trying to do the most efficient thing.”

“I look like my mom in, like, 1960.”

“I’m trying to get to the point in life where, someday, when my kids see pictures and videos of me, they’re like, who the fuck is that?”

“This might be one of my favorite looks.”

“Boy, who the fuck do you think did it?”

“Why do I feel like that’s not true?”

“You look so fucking cute.”

“It says semi-permanent, I feel like it’s low-commitment.”

“I’m such a big fan of it.”

“Yeah, just give me a score out of ten, be as brutal as you want.”

“We’re gonna do some research, we’ll be back.”

TAKING MY DOG TO MEET SANTA

“That’s a great way of getting kicked right out of the mall and being asked to never come back.”

“I’m really hoping that they let us do this.”

“I don’t think that they allow dogs in this mall.”

“It says no dogs here, but then you see, like, seventy people with their dogs.”

“That was so easy and painless.”

“Never use the words ‘cuck’ and ‘Santa’ in the same sentence ever again.”

“That was so adorable.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t want to bug you guys.”

“Make sure you’re very kind and supportive of him.”

“I like magic and believing too.”

“The best part of snow globes is when Christmas is over you smash them on the ground.”

“Oh, fuck, here we go again.”

“The entire highway’s basically shut down.”

“The air quality is terrible - it sucks to go outside.”

“I spent $80 on this picture.”

RECREATING THE HAMSTER PICTURE

“You know what you’re signing up for, okay?”

“It’s not dumb, it needs to happen.”

“We are going to go rent a red convertible.”

“No, we’re not going to Tuscon.”

“Don’t tell anybody, but we’re faking this whole thing.”

“Alright, we’re fucked already.”

“No one has a fucking red convertible.”

“It’s weird, it’s like it’s not 1995 anymore.”

“You literally took like 100 pictures.”

“This is really stupid, but if we don’t do it, who’s gonna do it?”

“We tried and failed to rent a red convertible.”

“A sincere thank you for wasting your day.”

“We just wanted to make a meme.”

GIVING MYSELF TAPE IN HAIR EXTENSIONS

“I’ve used them, like, five times, tops.”

“It felt wrong, it looked wrong.”

“I feel like I’m missing out on the fun.”

“That sounds like the level of commitment I would like to make.”

“I want to ring in the new year looking like a snack.”

“I watched one tutorial on how to do it.”

“Should I really just go full-blown ‘I’m lost at the supermarket, can you please help me’?”

“We’re already off to a really mediocre start.”

“I hope that you brought a snack and have nothing to do today.”

“There’s no rules, right?”

“I legitimately don’t know how to part my hair.”

“Oh my god, what have I done?”

“Why are you laughing? Is it my scrunchie?”

“This is quite possibly the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

“If I was an alien, and I came to this planet, I feel like one of the things that I’d find absolutely hysterical is that we like to wear each other’s hair.”

“I’m in the middle of the hardest part, you’re such a fucking asshole.”

“Is that something I should’ve figured out beforehand?”

“We only have like seventy more.”

“Overall, it’s been kind of a nice experience.”

“It was hard. I tried my best. It was my first time.”

SHAVING MY FACE

“I’ve never done this before. Obviously.”

“I know my appearance is jarring.”

“It takes a lot of work to look this great.”

“You’re quite literally mixing up two of the most prominent X-Men right now.”

“Gambit throws playing cards. That’s it. That’s the end of Gambit.”

“I’m trying to shave my face, not get in an argument about Gambit.”

“He’s just a weird magician that was looking for a group of friends.”

“Do you wanna feel my face?”

“Wanna come over and watch me shave my face?”

“Your skin looks really good, it’s glowing.”

“Now I can do some violent shit to my face.”

“It said don’t shave your eyes, otherwise I would.”

“We’re getting ready, are you getting ready with me or not?”

“I wasn’t allowed to wear makeup, but I put it on.”

“I feel like the payoff is amazing.”

“Why have you been hiding this secret from me?”

“I know this isn’t super duper exciting, but, for me, this is so exciting.”

MY DOGS MEET A CAT

“I ask Julien for a cat just about every day, and the answer is always no.”

“Our landlord won’t let us have any more animals.”

“No, what? That’s not part of this?”

“What this really is is just for you to get comfortable with a cat, and then like it, and then get me a cat.”

“That’s what today’s about.”

“I’m ready, I know you’re ready.”

“That’s the whole day today.”

“Stop making that face.”

“We’re not getting a cat, like, ever. No.”

“Getting a cat will help you be less of an Aries.”

“Sit wherever you wanna sit, do whatever you want.”

“That was a weird thing that you just did.”

“So… do you want to get one tomorrow, or… the day after?”

“I’m right here, and I have not agreed to anything.”

“Don’t pretend like you can’t hear me.”

“Who said that? Benjamin Franklin or Jesus?”

“I don’t know what’s going on.”

GIVING MYSELF A 90′S HAIR WRAP

“I’m shaving every time from here on out.”

“It’s basically a friendship bracelet on your hair.”

“You are much bolder than me, and do your thing.”

“Get you a man that pumps you up.”

“What camps did you go to when you were a kid?”

“Rules are made to be broken, sister.”

“Where are you going? Why are you leaving?”

“Are you calling me a preteen right now?”

“Oh, this is hard to do on yourself.”

“When you take a shower, this thing stays wet for fucking days.”

“On a scale of one to snack, how are you feeling?”

“We didn’t have lettermen jackets in seventh grade.”

“My first kiss was in seventh grade.”

“Do you know how hard it is to play clarinet with braces?”

“What the fuck is the big deal? This sucked. I hated it.”

“Oh, damn, you’ve been dating older girls for a while.”

“This takes me back so hard, wow.”

“No one please remind me that I fucked this up or else I’ll be very upset.”

“I feel like this a thing that twelve-year-olds and grandmas would be like, hell yeah.”

“That’s like buying a coloring book colored.”

“I have yet to do something that I really didn’t enjoy.”

“I worked hard on this for six minutes.”

“We’re not friends anymore.”

“In case you thought I was done here, though, you’d be incorrect.”

“She was my favorite singer in the 90’s, and then I graduated to Sarah McLaughlin.”

“First of all, this is a deadly fucking weapon.”

“Ow, don’t pull it, oh my god, don’t pull on it.”

MAKING TERRIBLE HOT GLUE CRAFTS

“I got, like, physically angry. I got hot in the face, and was kind of mad.”

“The things that people will do with a hot glue gun and call it a hack is just… beyond.”

“I cannot justify spending my time that way.”

“If anyone’s actually going to sit down and do these crafts, it’s going to be me.”

“Yeah, I’ve got some time to kill and some glue to waste.”

“Do you see my hands shaking already? Like, I’m tired. This is exhausting.”

“I’m a little confused as to why you’re spending this kind of money to glue yourself a pair of shoes that have holes in the bottoms.”

“I’m just gonna do it on my table because I’ve stopped giving a fuck.”

“I have strong, meaty arms which sometimes look fat in shirts.”

“I’m not trying to stifle anyone’s creativity, but this is a fucking waste of time.”

“I think this is a very loose definition of ‘shoes’.”

“I’m just sort of waiting for it to be over.”

“I’m just settling for blobby blob mess at this point, because I just don’t care.”

“This design is flawed.”

“They’re not structurally sound anywhere.”

“After a couple of seconds, it physically starts to hurt.”

“They’re not shoes at all, this is not okay.”

“This doesn’t feel good, and they don’t work.”

“I will never get this part of my life back.”

“No, you can’t do this, it’s not okay.”

“This is not a solution to any problem, this is a mess.”

“I don’t care about the rest of this paper, I’m not going to use it for anything.”

“I love my money. I love just taking it and dumping it in the toilet.”

“You could maybe wear this for fifteen minutes before it inevitably broke.”

“Just because you can make it, doesn’t mean you should.”

“This does not work, this does not work, this doesn’t work, okay, it’s working.”

“I’m trying my best, I’m not trying to fuck this up.”

“Does it look good? Does it look like tears and sadness?”

“I’m mad at myself. I can’t believe I’ve done this.”

“I really can’t handle another time like this. This is a dark time.”

“I did it, and I’m here to tell you it’s not worth it.”

“I feel sad on the inside, I don’t like it.”

“These are not life hacks. Do I look like someone whose life is better after doing this?”

“They don’t work and it pisses me off. This is a lie.”

“This is what happens when you leave. You can’t leave. You have to stay.”

“Does it look better like this? No — that’s worse. That’s worse, I’m sorry.”

MAKING OUR FAVORITE SOUP

“I’m just having one of those days when I just want to curl up under a blanket.”

“I’m sick.”

“I’m having a day where I’m not a person.”

“I’m so sorry, man, it’s just not in the cards for today.”

“I know you have days like this, too.”

“It doesn’t matter when you’re having a day like this.”

“I’m the best chef.”

“Just to be clear, you don’t want to go to the ER?”

“What’s going on with your pants?”

“I’m gonna go ahead and burn myself.”

“Maybe, instead of going out for a date right now, we can, when we sit down and have dinner, we can light a candle and hold hands the whole time we eat.”

“I’m large.”

“I’m gonna eat once now and once in two hours and it’s gonna be gone.”

“Do you think we have a tablespoon? Because I’m not going to the store.”

“Don’t listen to him, that is not true.”

“It’s really good, I burnt my tongue a little bit.”

“First of all, it’s amazing, second of all, it’s amazing, third of all… what?”

“Literally walking through the middle of TSA - that’s a bad time to have soup.”

[magicgeekponsol-blog]

||Event Drabble||

Title: “An Heir’s Complaints” Synopsis: Ponsol’s POV about what he thinks about the upcoming party that he’s been preparing for.  Word count: 1,864

I absolutely dread this upcoming party that was going to be held on Halloween. Dreading it. Honestly, if the world could implode that day, I would be pretty happy if not for the fact that I’d then get upset a mere seconds later because then all my hard work would be for naught.

Do you know how hard it was to convince all those old cronies that the help of the nearby shops would be beneficial for them? Not only would good relations be created between the shops and the corporation, but there was certainly going to be more revenue if popular shops were to be joining in on the festivities.

With shops aiming to be festive but also wanting to promote themselves by showing off their own work at the party, it gave them, the corporation, less to worry about. Some space at the ‘Milky Way’ was given to them as they rented out the entire place for the night. Various stores were then given their own spots to set up booths or whatever else they wished to erect at their spot to attract customers.

There was no limit on what it was they wished to do at their own store run areas. Now there was also a bar that was going to be supplying alcohol for those who wished to have some more fun during the party, but the bar tenders were going to be given strict instructions to be very careful about how much alcohol to give to the customers, and of course, bouncers were going to be present for obvious of reasons. Drunk people reasons.

A suggestion of making the costume runway into a costume contest was made, but I quickly shot down the offer as judges would have to be made present and if it were a contest, then that would require even more effort on all of the staff. People would have to adhere to a strict code of conduct, an age limitation may be placed, and of course, a prize would have to be given. Not only that, but judges would be needed, and not only that but a certain minimum of entrants would be required to make the contest worthwhile.

Most contests required an entrance fee and he did not think that for a joint party such as this, should such a contest be necessary. This party was for fun, and a contest would take the fun out of things. People would stop at nothing to win, and dealing with cheating was not on my to do list, thank you.

It then dawned on me to just simply have it be a runway. The staff can at least make sure that the costumes were appropriate before letting people show off their costumes on the stage before they walk off of it.

Haah… truly this was very troublesome but I had to be in charge of most of it, and of course as the main planner of the event—I would have to be there. It’s in the during the week, so that I just going to tire me out, especially since I’ll have to be there for them tearing down the party too. Do you know how long that could take? DO YOU?

Most likely by the time everything was said and done—it’ll be at or past the time I normally sleep at. Don’t even get me STARTED on how much sleep I’ll lose just trying to set everything up. I have to get the catering preparations prepared, approve of all of the costing and funding for the party, and look into the working personnel.

All the shops in attendance had to fill out forms and get their plans approved, and that of course means, that I have the second to final say on what is accepted and not at the party. Even if one of those old cronies have a problem with my ruling, it’s simple enough to just state my case and get them to agree with me. Most of the time they’re only disagreeing to just get under my skin.

Sometimes I just want to kick them down a flight of stairs, quite honestly.

Well, a small infrastructure inside of the ‘Milky Way’ was being designed to be used as a mini-house of horrors for people and kids alike to enjoy. A lot of it was going to be jump scares and some people dressed up in scary costumes. Sound effects, lighting, and of course even a fog machine would be utilized. Not too much smoke will be used of course, for health and safety regulations.

All costume designs will be approved by me prior to allowing the purchasing department and the financial department to do their jobs. That old man was making this a project to force me to do more work that he doesn’t want to do—and to just I don’t know, ‘prove’ that I’m fit for the job. Fuck that, I’ve BEEN fit for the job, are you shitting me right now?

Just because some of you are BUTT HURT over the fact that the ‘better’ of the brothers didn’t get the position, it doesn’t mean you can write my achievements as infinitesimal. I can be just as good as my brother, but when it comes to social events, I’ll show you that I can be the only one who I fit for the job. Do you want to know what Shugarl would do in a situation like this? Nothing. He’d simply state that a party for Halloween was stupid.

‘Trick or Treating exists, so shouldn’t that be enough?’ I could see him saying something like that, or ‘Halloween is for children and college kids. They will have their own parties. Why should we make our own?’

The guy was a stick in a mud, that’s what he is. Well, he does have a point, but this is a good way to get their name out there. Not only that, but they can help other smaller stores and establishments. It creates good networking, and also helps them with their own revenue. The flow of money through the community was a great way to keep the community healthy and strong.

Promoting growth was something they should do as a big power in Akounri. That’s why this party is being held. This started with someone (that someone being me) hearing from the grapevine that some of the stores were thinking about holding an event themselves, and then ‘suggesting’ something to the big man anonymously. He loved the idea and he called to order a meeting.

It was brilliant planning, really. I was pleased by my results, but I wasn’t too pleased to know that all of the responsibilities were dumped onto me. Just my fucking luck.

You know what? The catering for the party is going to be an issue, now that I think about it. People now a day are just so unprofessional sometimes. Does it matter what my age is? Does a ‘proxy’ mean nothing to do? If I’m coming on the behalf of someone else, and I’ve got my own card and attendant to match, then just do your job.

Okay, I do know that things are more complex than that, but do let me complain, won’t you? It’s not often that I get to complain to anyone, even in my mind. I’m too busy for that now a day. That old man needs to lay off my back or I’m just going to end up passing out—again.

Well, whatever. I’ll just stop there for now and focus on the real important topic at hand. You see this here? Look, if I move my arm like this--- that’s right. Did you see that movement there? Did you see how if I turned my arm like that, the feathers expand out. Certain parts of the wings are connected to a brace, so certain movements of my body will cause the wings to move. It will either span out or in. I was creating black wings. There are many tutorials out there that detail out how to make rather realistic wings, wouldn’t you know?

One that I’ve found on one of those artsy-sites is very good. She detailed everything and started out with a biological explanation—and this pleases me. She knows the anatomy of birds and how the wings move. The way the wings are created used this principle and that’s what results in a realistic looking wing.

I made mine black in color rather than white because I thought it would be a nice contrast between my hair color. Obviously, there was going to be a limitation on the kinds of props you are allowed to bring, but making your own fake weapons are not against the rules as long as you used lightweight materials. I planned on making a sword that I will attach to some chains.

I enjoy the image of chains so I wish to add those to the look. I’m not too sure on what I plan on doing with the outfit just yet, but I do know that I want to make use of a temporary face tattoo. Making some snap on fangs would be nice. Horns? A tail? No, no tail.

Horns though, that was something to look into. I think colored contacts would be cool. One that made your eyes look like slits? Should I change the color or keep them gold? Red would be nice.

Fake long nails to work as claws would be nice. If you couldn’t guess already, I was thinking about being some kind of monster. Probably a demon of some kind. A humanoid one, don’t worry. I won’t be giving anyone heart attacks at the party. What kind of host would I be if I let that happen, right?

Just in case anyone else brings a scary costume in, paramedics are on standby.

Let’s see, how long have I been working on this—Oh shit. I have to be down at HQ in an hour to meet with those old bats. Shit shit shit! I didn’t get nearly as far as I wanted to on these wings. These are taking longer than I thought they would! I started I started working on all of this last month and I’m still only this far.

Hm? Of course, I’m going all out. I’ll definitely be on that runway at that party. I’m great at sewing and creating things so I’ll definitely be making my own costume this year as well. Halloween was a great time as any to show off my skills. Don’t chastise me.

What was I last year you ask? A gruesome zombie. It truly put my good looks to shame, but I’ve made multiple people trip over themselves in fright. One poor girl passed out, even. Good times.

Before that, I was—you didn’t ask? Does it look like I care? I’ll tell you anyways that the year before that I went as a humanoid dragon. If I am going to use horns for this look, I’ll probably remodel the dragon horns for this year’s costume.

Shit, 58 minutes. Alright, time to go. I’ll continue this mental complaint session another time.