#it's really insane how he came on at the last 10/15 minutes and lit the entire game on fire 😭😭

[ikram1909]

Throw back to when Marc did everything in his power to keep Gavi away from a fight 😭😭

[sailorhyunjinz]

~ 𝕋𝕒𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕡𝕚𝕔𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕖𝕤 𝕠𝕗 𝕪𝕠𝕦 ~

Part I

© sailorhyunjinz 2021; Rights Reserved

All picture rights to their respective owners.

ℂ𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕥: Photographer!hyunjin, fem!model!reader, manager!Bangchan, stylist!Jisung, agedup!straykids, SMUT IN LATER PARTS, fluff, character driven story, strangers to lovers, summer au, mentions of insecurity, love at first sight.

𝕎𝕠𝕣𝕕 ℂ𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥: 3,5 k  

ℕ𝕠𝕥𝕖: I have never written a series before so please understand if it’s lacking heh... and yes the title does relate to the kooks song with the same title so do give it a listen because it’s really good and fits the story c: 

also this starts slowly LMAO MORE FUN THINGS ARE COMING UP I SWEAR <33

If you have any feedback I’m more than happy to receive it! <3

Taking pictures of you - MASTERLIST

ONE｜TWO｜THREE

Working as a model was not easy. The complaining managers and the expectations by others was too much to handle. Heck, even getting to the shooting locations was a hastle most of the time. 

You tilted your head against the window in the backseat of the taxi. It was a calm august wednesday. The late summer breeze made it’s way into the cab thorugh the window that was opened on the drivers side. Your phone screen lit up, multiple notification from Instagram. 

“omg! slay bbygrl”

“her face is crazy pretty”

“beautiful”

You’ve heard these words too many times. If you’re told the same thing over and over again they eventually mean nothing. You scrolled through the other comments on your latest instagram post, a photo from your last photoshoot. A picture of you lying in a bed of white flowers, your skin glowing and your body covered by a white sheer dress that accentuated your neck. It’s not a bad photo but was I really worth the attention? “There are a thousands of other girls way prettier than me.” you though and with a sulken expression you watched life run by outside the window. 

15 minutes later you arrived at your agency. You smiled your model smile at the taxi driver to which he smiled back and responded: “My pleasure, miss y/n”.

A big shadow was cast from the building in which the modeling agency was. The beige renaissance building was surrounded by green bushes and a black fence. The big oak entryway had golden lion knockers and an ingraved golden sign. “Eccellente Modeling Agency” it said with bold black letters, contrasting nicely with the gold plate. You rang the doorbell next to the sign and in a matter of seconds the oak gates opened with a loud creak.

“Y/n!! You look stunning as always!” said your manager Bangchan as he hugged you. The smell of his aftershave violated your olfactory sense as usual, making you scrunch your nose. He was always dressed business casual, his white polo shirt and light brown dress pants being a good example but today his poloshirt had a great amount of buttons unbuttoned. 

The both of you made your way into his office. A room with a high ceiling and a chandelier worth more than your career. You sat down in the leather couch across the desk, Bangchan sitting on the other side of it. 

“Give me a moment.... Just pulling up some files for the new photoshoot I’ve planned! I promise, you’re not gonna be disappointed.” he says smiling, the desktop screen reflecting in his brown eyes.

He turns his computer screen towards you. Your eyes scan the pictures that pop up. 

“May I present to you the profile of Hwang Hyunjin. One of the most renowned photographers of this age”. Bangchan looks at you, reading your expression. 

The pictures are truly beautiful. Everything, from the outfits to the lightning was perfect.

“Bangchan, you’re insane” you say, smiling widely as you made eye contact with the dark haired manager. “These pictures are so stunning!” you squeal. “How did you even get in contact with him?”

“Nothing for you to worry about y/n, I have my contacts. I’m a manager after all”. He scoffs whilst scrolling through the profile. The next picture getting better than the previous one.

“So... when is the shoot and what concept have you planned?” you say whilst your eyes are glued to the computer screen. 

“Mr, Hwang works for a multitude of companies but Styliz needed a model for their new pastel collection which I immedietly snatched onto. We all know how beautiful you look in pastels y/n” he said attentively to which you smiled, adoring the interest he has for his work. 

“Oh.. I also cheked your schedule and you seem free tomorrow so how about then?” he added. 

“Yes! I’d love too” you said with a small nod.

“Not that you have much choice, Mr Hwang’s time is worth gold y/n” he laughed and reached for something in his cabinet drawers.

“Here, take this” he said while sliding over a light grey business card.

‘Hwang Hyunjin, Photographer’ was written in dark grey letters. A black border decorating the edges of the card.

♡

The morning sun shined thorugh the curtains blinding you temporarily. You felt after your phone on the nightstand with you hand, your eyes still closed. ‘8:05 am’ the screen showed against the background picture of your family.

You missed them, moving to a different city across the country at the young age of 18 was scary. You’ve aged, that’s for sure but you still missed them dearly. Dragging your lifeless body to the shower you hope for a day with happiness whilst the warm water hits your bare skin. It was a big day after all. A photoshoot with photographer Hwang Hyunjin. “Me... on Hyunjins work? It must be a dream...” you thought, grabbing the towel hanging on the cold, silver rack.

You dryed off your thick hair with a light pink towel with one hand whilst the other hand held your phone. “I have to look at his photos again” you thought, tapping on the Instagram icon and typing “Hwang Hyunjin” in the search bar, hoping and praying that his work was published on the social media platform.

“@ photographerHwang” was the first result to pop up and you tapped it instantly being just as surprised as you were yesterday of the beauty that his photos carried. Bumping into the table on your way to the kitchen you noticed a different photo on his feed. It didn’t look like any of the other photos because it was a selfie. You dropped your towel on the floor. No... it can’t be him... or could it?

His face looked like a work of art. Not only was the photo nicely edited with warm light emitting from your screen but the person was even more eyecatching. “It’s probably one of his models” you though as you placed your phone on the kitchen counter and grabbed a carton of milk from the fridge.

But what if it’s really him?

♡

You threw on a grey hoodie and biker shorts before you flew out to the taxi waiting for you outside the apartment. 

“Sorry for keeping you waiting sir! Here!” you said while panting, quickly pulling up a text message you got from Bangchan sharing the location of the photoshoot. 

“Please, Miss y/n! No need to apologize” laughed the middle aged taxi driver softly. You were now on your way to the shoot. 

Your brain was scattered. One part of you hoped that Mr Hwang really was the boy you saw on his instagram. His long, blond locks slightly covering his sharp jaw. His skin clear as day and rosy lips plump like two rose petals. The other part shut everything down, convinced that it’s one of his models that happened to be to your liking. 

You opened his instagram page again. 

“He must be famous for his perfect features...” you said under your breath, staring at his lips.

The whole taxi ride was filled with thoughts of him, whoever he was. 

“Soon there miss y/n” the taxi driver said after 10 minutes of driving. The taxi slowed down and looking outside the window you saw Bangchan standing infront of a building that looked similar to the agency building. You waved slightly and he waved back at you.

You turned around to the driver and said; “Thank you so much sir”, giving him a generous tip and exiting the vehicle. A warm breeze latches on to you, making your hair flutter in the motions of the wind.

“Y/n! Perfectly on time” Bangchan said and hugged you.

You hugged him back, asking him about his day so far to which he responded;

“Good but going to be even better after this legendary photoshoot is done and we have the most perfect photos taken by the most influential photographer!” he sounded like a little child in a candy shop.

Your ears heated up due to his words and you smiled slightly.

“Let’s go to the second floor and get your outfit and makeup ready. A introduction with Styliz manager won’t be needed since he already knows your delightful personality” he laughed at his corny remarks and you did the same.

“You seem even more excited than me” you remarked, pressing the elevator button.

“When you see the end result you will be floored” Bangchan said and winked at you. 

The elevator clanged. “Second floor”. The metal doors slided open. The eyes of a dozen stylists and makeup artists caught onto you. A slightly potbellied man in a navy colored suit approached you.

“Y/n! I’m so happy to see work with you again.” His voice was hoarse due to his age but his personality being the total opposite. You knew him well since Styliz’s chief was one of the first to offer you a modeling job in a foreign city, you only being a teenager with a big dreams at the time.

“Mr. Styliz! It’s lovely to meet you again” you smiled and sat down in a makeup chair, a girl with blond hair and big hoop earrings starting to brush powder across your nose. You saw Bangchans figure leave behind a door in the reflection of the mirror. 

“Mr. Styliz, might I ask you a question?” You regretted the words as soon as the came out of your mouth. You didn’t need more information about the mysterious boy you saw on Hwang’s instagram page but you simply had to know who is was. 

“Well of course y/n” said Mr. Styliz, his warm breath touched your cheek as he stood right by your side, smelling of morning coffee and looking at you through the mirror. 

“Could I please get more information about Mr.Hwang?” you said, making eye contact with the old man. 

“y/n, you’ll meet him soon! Then you can ask him how much you would like about his life but I must warn you... He is quite the secretive type”. The coffee breath was accentuated as he laughed.

You tried to play along, laughing a fake laugh as the hair designer started to brush out your locks. A wave of embarrassment washed through you. 

The lights of the makeup mirror were getting hot, tiny sweat drops beading on your forehead which the makeup artist wiped off. 

“We are done, Miss y/n” said the makeup artist, her earrings reflecting the light in the studio. You thanked her and saw Bangchan standing at the door where the cameras were. 

“y/n, not much time left. Please go down the hallway and into the second door on your left, the stylist is in there fixing your outfit”. One reason as to why you loved Bangchan as your manager was his calm temper. Even in a time crunch, he always made sure to talk to you in a serene tone. After years in the modeling industry you still couldn’t get used to the ill-tempered staff. Too many times you had been forcefully dragged down corridors and streets whilst they muttered swear words at you. Even thinking about it sends shivers down your spine. 

Your shoes tapped the white linoleum as you made your way down the narrow hallway, knocking on the second door to your left just as Bangchan said. 

A familiar voice said; “Come in!” to which you turned the golden doorknob on  the white wooden door. The tall figure was rummaging in a big plastic container filled with clothes but upon your arrival the figure greeted you with warm eyes. 

“No way!! It’s y/n!” screeched Jisung. He pulled you in to a hug, his belt buckle hit your stomach through the grey hoodie. 

Jisung was a stylist and worked closely with Mr. Styliz therefore you’d gotten close to him. Not only did you like him for his exquisite fashion sense which had a whole different concept each time you saw him but also for his friendliness, always being polite. 

“I’ve missed you so much Jisungie” you said with a pout. 

“I though it was onesided but I guess not haha”

“Don’t be silly! How could I not miss that smile of your Sungie?” you hit him playfully on the arm to which he blushed. 

“Go behind that  and I’ll throw some clothes for you.” he pointed at the wooden divider standing in the corner of the white room filled with clothes racks and colorful clothing. 

You started undressing behind the divider and suddenly a pile of clothing was thrown on your head over the divider. You heard Jisung snicker at the yelp that came out of your mouth as you drowned in the clothes

“Jisung, you are so dead when I’m done” you said whilst putting on the last details to the outfit.

“I’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry” he said pleadingly while laughing hysterically. 

You stood on the podium infront of the full lenght mirrors in the room as Jisung observed you and pinned the clothes slightly. 

“Not gonna lie, it’s looks really good on you. The pastels matches perfectly with your skintone.” Jisung looked on the pleaded white skirt you had on. 

You looked in the mirror and shook your head in agreement. The pastel purple sweater with the white collar poking out made you look youthful and innocent. You had on patent mary jane shoes in the same purple color as your sweater. The white kneesocks were slipping down as you moved slightly, almost looking like a school girl as you bend down to lift the socks up. 

“Do you like it?” Jisung looked at you through the reflection on the mirror, standing on the floor making him a head shorter than you. 

“Yea! You’ve never given me a bad outfit Sungie, they’re always adorable. My favorite stylist but don’t tell that to Bangchan” you smirked to which Jisung laughed.

♡

“y/n, Jisung did a great job! You fit the concept to a tee” Bangchan stood infront of two wide dark green doors which led to the photostudio. He smiled shyly and pushed the doors open, a bright white light blinding you as you stepped in.

You squinted and held your hand infront of your eyes as you entered the studio, the air stuffy from all the white boxlights that have been working for a while.

“Miss y/n is here now, Mr. Hwang” Bangchan announced.

Your eyes felt blurry and the lights created a bokeh effect, your vision feeling like a filter. The first thing you saw was him. Hwang Hyunjin.

The shock froze your feet in one position. It was him. The selfie was Hyunjin. And he was hotter in real life.

A tall, slender figure stood on one foot, the other one behind his leg with the tip of the shoe pointing towards the floor. 

“Are you ready, miss y/l/n?”.

His voice was sweeter than honeysuckle, you melted upon hearing him speak. Bangchan looked at you confused when you didn’t move, just observing the presence of the blonde boy infront of you. 

“y/n?” Bangchan had a worried expression on his face as your face broke out in a massive blush. 

“yeah..uh-mm..yes” you only managed to get that out before you were infront of the camera. 

His willowy fingers wrapped around the black Canon camera, it fit perfectly in his hands as if it was made for him. You gulped upon seeing the veins that ran up his exposed arms, the white shirt bunched up by his elbows. 

“Everything good miss? You seem distant” he said in that raspy but sweet voice. 

“Uhm...yeah totally..” you looked awkward with your hands by your side as you saw Bangchan observing you with a confused gaze. 

“Please tilt your head to the right and stand broad with your feet” Hyunjin commanded to which you complied. The flash of the big studio lights didn’t effect you as much anymore since you were used to this but what did effect you was how concentrated Hyunjin looked. Like a true photographer. It was obvious that he enjoyed his job by the way his eyes shined when he looked at the monitor and corrected every detail. Luckily you could stare at his figure all that you wanted since it looked like you were keeping eye contact with the camera and not him. Glancing over to the left of the photographer you saw Bangchan smiling his bright smile, signaling that he’s proud over you. 

Flash

Flash

And another flash before Hyunjin looked at the monitor displaying the photos he just took, a smirk crept onto his face. 

“Good job y/l/n. Could you please grab that chair over there and sit on the edge of it?” he said whilst pointing towards a small wooden stool. Reacting instantly to his soft voice and gestures you pulled the stool towards the x on the ground, making sure you were in frame. 

“One leg over the other” Hyunjin said without even looking towards you, his pale veiny hands were now twisting and turning some buttons on both the camera and monitor. You shook your head up and down slightly in agreement before doing as told and as Hyunjin turned back his chocolatey brown eyes landed on yours. Now it was impossible to hide your burning cheeks, Hyunjin noticed since he laughed stiffly before grabbing the camera off the camera stand and going down on one knee to capture an angle from below. Numerous amounts of sparks from the big box lights were emitted and after every spark Hyunjin turned around to the screen which displayed your figure. Staring at him you smiled slowly, feeling your heart beat faster. Why do I feel like this by just looking at him? Your head was clouded with millions of other thoughts. Just as you started tuning out the room Hyunjin clapped his hands hard, the sound ringing in your ears. You jumped slightly which made Bangchan laugh.

“All done! Nice work everybody” Hyunjin announced loudly before bowing down to the other staff members in the room and to you as well. You returned his gesture by a slight bow of the head and quickly scurried of to Bangchan, your face hot.

“Are you sure you’re not ill?” Bangchan said softly before putting the back of his hand towards your forehead. Shaking your head from side to side you pushed his hand away. 

“No, I’m fine... just so hot with the box lights you know?” you laughed fumblingly, not knowing where to rest your gaze. 

You felt someone tap you on your left shoulder and you almost fainted when you turned around. Hyunjin was standing three footsteps from you, the scent of his cologne making you swoon. He smiled as he saw your shy expression and sparkling eyes.

“I though that it must have been hot, here have this”

He casually held out a waterbottle which you received with both hands as a gesture of thankfulness. 

“y/n, I’m just gonna head off to Jisung to discuss something. Meet me at the changing rooms in about 10, ok?” Bangchan said, slightly leaning towards your ear. 

“Yeah, see you in 10!” you said while the managers back disappeared through the broad doors of the studio. Turning back to Hyunjin his blond locks were draped infront of his eyes and as he spoke he tucked those light pieces behind his ear, revealing his small silver hoop earrings.

“I’m gonna pack up the cords now but it was a pleasure to work with you, miss y/l/n” 

The corners of your mouth went upwards at his formality.

“Please, call me y/n” you said quietly, being too shy to look him in the eyes.

“Sure, see you around y/n” Hyunjin said as he lifted up his hand to shake yours. His lanky fingers were filled with bold rings, many of which were designer. A slight panic rushed through your mind as you didn’t want to scare him away with your clammy hands. The sweaty hands and the churning of your stomach was all due to Hyunjin nearness. Hesitantly you streched the tips of your fingers against the blond haired boy and his hand emitted warmth when being met with your fingertips. He smiled before turning back, his eyes forming into half moons as charming dimples errupted on his lean cheeks.

You bowed to the other staff members on your way out of the building on your way to meet Bangchan and Jisung in the changing room. The waterbottle in your hand almost slipped as you took another clunck of the fresh water and that’s when you noticed something. Stopping in the hallway where the stylists room was located you inspected the waterbottle and saw a black marker scribble on the wrapper around the bottle. Upon removing it your heart stopped. Your knees could give up at any moment from the sheer shock. Am I losing my mind? A number was loosely doodled on the white plastic wrapper and underneath it there was a message. 

Call me 

// Hyunjin

𝕋𝕒𝕘𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥

@vogueinnie @that-anxious-bisexual @putmetogetheragain13 @hyunsluvv @lawleighette @meow-minho @minaamhh @ohmysparkle @hwangi @rindomo​ @fleeingreality @nycol-ie @jisungsplatforms

[tatooedlaura-blog]

Maybe WE don’t believe in YOU!

It’s throwback Thursday time ... this is a goodie from 2009 (dragged kicking and screaming from Gossamer) ... oi, these things amuse me at times :)

any and all errors are from the original post and have not been changed to preserve giggles and chuckles :)

@today-in-fic​

&&&&&&&&&&

He saw her sitting halfway up the bleachers, amidst yelling parents and clapping children. He knew she'd gone outside a good 15 minutes ago but since she'd neglected to come back, he though he'd better go and collect her. He didn't move fast, more at his usual long-strided amble given there wasn't much to hurry about anymore. Since the police station was next to the elementary school fields, he didn't have far to walk; soon standing beside the rickety aluminum riser seats.

She didn’t notice him at first but when she did a general sweep of her surroundings, as was natural habit at this point, she lit on his face staring up at her and with a barely noticed head-tilt, she gave him a half smile.

Figuring this was an invite of the most discreet kind, he picked his way through the scattered crowd, settling next to her without a word. Silently, they sat together through the last minutes of the game as well as through the exodus of people, kids, strollers and family dogs.

It wasn't until the last person stepped off the field that Mulder turned to her, squinting against the late afternoon sun, "hi."

Pushing her hair back, only to have the light breeze ruffle it again, "hi."

"So, got a little tired of Sheriff Blowhard and his parade of blightless minions?"

"A little. There's only so much blowharding and blightlessness one can take. Besides,” nodding towards the now deserted field, "they looked like they needed another fan."

Knocking shoulders with her gently, "you know, if we get our paperwork done, we can get the hell out of Dodge."

Holding silent for a moment, "promise me our next case won't be like this. I don't think I can do this again anytime soon."

"Well, I'll try to order us up a nice, juicy monster but don't hold your breath."

"Just promise to try. That's all I ask."

One glance into her tired, dull eyes made him nod, "promise."

"All right then." Standing and holding her hand out to him, "let's, as you put it, get the hell out of Dodge."

"If only the place was actually called Dodge."

"Getting the hell out of Parson Village doesn't exactly have the same ring to it, does it?"

Finally down on the ground, they walked back across the parking lot, "not really."

&&&&&&&&&

Working through the last of the forms, they said good-bye and left, glad to be leaving the place behind them. The drive back to the hotel was quiet but a companionable quiet, one where Mulder left the radio off and Scully stared out the open window, enjoying the fresh air and the colors of the setting sun.

Back at the hotel, "do you still want to leave now or wait until the morning?"

He knew she would prefer to go than stay and since he wasn't tired, "now works for me." Checking out went by in a flash and once Mulder had made a not so secretive trip to the vending machines, they were off, "you sure you want to drive first? I'm awake."

Scully just turned the car on, "I'm good for now. I'll let you know when it's your turn."

"Fair enough." Putting his seat back to a decent incline, he settled in, "mind if we keep the windows open for awhile?"

She gave him a smile, "as long as you don't mind me having the wind blown look."

"Naw, you wear it well."

"Okay, now you're just buttering me up."

With a laugh, he rested one arm at his side, the other on the middle compartment, hand dangling by the shifter, "just say thanks, Scully."

"Thanks, Mulder."

He was feeling a bit mischievous but held off until they had been on the road for a few minutes. From his position, he could tell no one else was on the quiet country road and in a fairly nonchalant way, he made like he was turning on the radio but instead, pushed the shifter forward into neutral.

The engine revved, Scully looked around in panic, then saw Mulder's hand beside the stick, "what the hell?" Shoving it back in drive, she swung and hit him near full force in the chest, "are you insane?"

Now for the fun part.

Wincing, he curled his arms to his chest, pretending the blow had actually hurt him, "damn. I was just gonna turn the radio on. I bumped it on accident." Plastering an appropriate grimace on his face, "there's less painful ways to kill me, you know."

Her face scrunching in honest apology, "I'm so sorry. I thought you did it on purpose. I … I'm sorry."

Rubbing his chest for good measure, "remind me to ask before moving next time." The urge to laugh nearly won but he held it in, "I feel extremely sorry for any suspects on the receiving end of your fist."

Automatically reaching over, she wrapped her hand around his forearm, "I'm sorry."

"S'okay." Wondering how long she'd keep her hand there, "was kind of funny though, wasn't it?"

She shrugged, "maybe it will be later but right now, I just feel bad."

"No harm, no foul, right?"

Keeping her hand on him with no sign of letting go, "right."

&&&&&&&&&

They switched places a few hours later, Scully beginning to yawn and stretch to keep herself awake. Mulder, who'd managed a nap, readjusted the seat and mirrors before looking over at her, "all set?" Head already lolling on the seat and eyes closed, she only nodded.  As always amused by the swiftness she could fall asleep, he pulled the car out of the gas station and back on the freeway.She slept for about a half-hour, then woke again when he hit a bump in the road, "sorry."

Shaking the cobwebs from her brain, "no, it's okay." After re-positioning the seat back, she stared out the window for a minute before, "where are we, anyway?"

When he turned to look around, she swiftly reached over, flipping a small switch on the dash, "we're about 10 miles from the middle of nowhere."

"That's specific."

He gave her a lopsided grin before looking back through the windshield.

She wondered how long it would take for him to notice.

Not long, she soon discovered.

Taking a cursory glance at the speedometer, he slammed on the brakes, throwing them both forward slightly, "what the hell?" When he had looked, he saw in horror that he was doing 120. Still talking to himself, "there's no way in hell I was doing 120."

Playing along, "what?! You're going 120? I don't need to die tonight, Mulder."

"I didn't realize …"

"Just slow the hell down!!"

He shrank into the seat and heart pounding, he brought his speed back to 75 but when looking out the window, he would swear they were nearly crawling. She then watched him look from the speedometer to the road to the speedometer once again, then to the smile she couldn't contain, "why the hell are all the gauges in metrics now?"

Reaching over, she re-flipped the switch, turning everything back to normal, "did you really think I'd let the neutral thing go unanswered?"

Instead of being annoyed, he looked at her admirably, "nice."

&&&&&&&&&

She was sound asleep again an hour later when Mulder discovered he was contemplating how long he could shut his eyes before it got dangerous. Poking his finger into Scully's thigh, "hey, you awake?"

When she only mumbled, he knew they were both done for the night but with only an hour left to go, he debated pushing it.

Until he heard his tires running on the rumble strip.

Yeah, it was time to stop.

Especially when he saw it … a bright beacon of hope in the distance.

Wal-Mart.

24-hour, anyone can sleep in the damn parking lot, beautiful, shiny Wal-Mart.

He pulled off the exit ramp and soon, he stopped the car in the center of a vast expanse of parking lot. Cracking the windows so they wouldn’t suffocate, he put his seat back, stretched and promptly fell asleep.

A blissful sleep that lasted almost a full two hours, until, “what the hell?”

The sound of her voice jolted him upright and his hand caught the horn, beeping it obnoxiously as he blinked against the painfully bright light in his eyes, “huh?”

By now, she was rolling down the window and being the least polite he’d ever heard her, “what!?”

The flashlight lowered but all Mulder could see was the spot it had burned into his retinas. The spot spoke in a low, male voice, “evenin’ folks.”

Again, Scully rolled off with, “what!?!”

“Just wanted to make sure you were all right.”

He could feel Scully building rapidly towards some other, more improper phrases and heading her off with a hand on her arm, “we were tired and thought we’d take a nap instead of wrapping ourselves around a telephone pole.” As the spot began to fade, he could make out an older gentleman behind the lowered flashlight, “I thought people could park and sleep here for the night?”

“RVs can park but ya’ll aren’t in an RV so I thought maybe you were havin’ some trouble.”

Hearing Scully sigh resignedly through her nose, he spoke again, “no trouble, sir. Just tired.”

“Well, ya’ll be careful.”

As he turned and walked away, Mulder looked at her irate expression, “hi.”

“You’re coming with me.”

“Where?”

Unbuckling her belt, “I have to go to the bathroom and you’re coming with me.”

Opening his door, “why are you pissed at me? I didn’t scare the shit out of you with a flashlight.”

“Just come on.”

She stalked across the parking lot, Mulder trotting to catch up, then settling into an easy gait until they got to the store entrance, “are you gonna make me come in with you or do I get to wait outside the door?”

With eyes narrowed, she left him in the entryway and disappeared into the ladies room. Deciding to go himself, he still beat her back and was leaning on the wall when she came out drying her hands on her jeans. She seemed calmer and leaning next to him, “I’m hungry.”

Gesturing through the doors that led to the actual store, “I bet there’s something in there, if you’re willing to risk it.”

“Lead the way, partner.” Both were shocked by the amount of people in the store, “what time is it anyway?”

Finding her wrist with his hand, he twisted her watch around until he could read it, “um, 1:15.”

“Why are all these people here? Don’t they have homes and beds?”

“Insomniacs make the best shoppers.”

She let a small chuckle escape her nose, “just find me something to eat.”

Well, she should have known not to A) shop when she was hungry and 2) shop with Mulder. She should have also put her foot down when he suggested getting a cart.

An hour later, they were finally through the checkout.

Scully had found some sandwiches, drinks and chips for them both, then stupidly gave Mulder control of the cart. He immediately steered towards the entertainment section and was soon pawing through the $3.99 DVD bin.

That killed a half-hour right there. Damn those bins and their B-movie classics.

After he’d found several handfuls of movies, he veered through men’s clothing for socks, housewares for a new shower curtain (which Scully silently thanked God about), hardware to replace the two flashlights he’d left in their hotel rooms, back to menswear  for the underwear he’d forgot on the first trip (black boxer briefs, much to Scully’s amusement), then finally through women’s clothing, where he stopped in front of a rack of slogan t-shirts.

Standing for a moment, he studied them, then picked one up with an alien beside a spaceship who was pointing out and stating, “maybe WE don’t believe in you.” Holding it against her for a second, he tossed it in the cart and finally moved to the check-out.

She followed, dumbfounded by the last hour of her life, “Mulder … why …?”

“Shhhh, it’s too late to argue and too early to win.”

Whatever the hell that meant, she graciously allowed him to pay for their food, along with the industrial size Payday bar she tossed in at the last minute.

&&&&&&&&&&&

As they ate their makeshift dinner sitting in the car, “why did you buy me that t-shirt? Do you really think I’m gonna wear it?”

Grinning with a mouthful of half-chewed turkey, “you will. You’ll be getting dressed for something and you’ll just get the urge to put it on. So you will and you’ll realize you like it and that’ll be that.”

“Is this how you get your shopping done because I can see why your cupboards are bare.”

“Never ask about a man’s shopping habits.”

“Mulder?”

“Yeah?”

“Trade you sandwiches?”

He handed the rest of his sandwich to her immediately, taking her partially eaten roast beef in its place, “no dressing?”

“Nope.”

“So much to teach you, grasshopper.”

&&&&&&&&&

“I’ll drive if you want me to.”

Scully shook her head, “naw, I’m fine.”

“Well, I’m not tired now so I’ll keep you awake.”

With a grin in his direction, “God help me.”

“God’s probably asleep Scully. All you got is me.”

“Again, God help me.”

&&&&&&&&&&

They were finally navigating Washington’s outskirts by 3:30. He watched her staring ahead and fought the demon lurking inside him.

He really shouldn’t.

He really, really shouldn’t.

It would be evil and wrong and cruel and more than likely funny as all hell … if she didn’t kill him afterwards.

 …

He’d risk it.

Waiting another minute or so, he spied a light blinking in the distance and as they approached it, he braced his feet against the floor. Once they were about 10 feet away, he yelled, gripping the dashboard and the doorframe, “blinking yellow!!!”

She locked up the brakes, as expected, and bought the car to a screeching halt. The stop flung both forward, then back against their seats, with Scully screaming in his ear, “son of a bitch … it’s yellow Mulder! I don’t have to stop for a blinking yellow!”

Looking at her with as much seriousness as he could muster, “I didn’t tell you to stop.”

“Then why the hell did you yell ‘blinking yellow’ in my ear!?”

“I didn’t know if you saw it.”

He had never witnessed her nostrils flaring before and though he wouldn’t admit it out loud, she looked kind of cute doing it but … “are you trying to get us killed?”

He was now smiling despite the fact she had steam shooting out her ears, “there was no one behind us. I checked.”

Another nostril flare came his way before she turned the car off, still sitting in the middle of the intersection, got out and moving to his side of the car, pulled open the door, “drive.”

Still grinning, he scrambled over the gearshift, Scully sliding smoothly into his seat, putting her head back and closing her eyes.

Silence, he had not expected. Yelling, hitting, yes but not quiet. Quiet from Scully meant planning, concocting, calculating, organizing … quiet meant bad things … quiet meant very deep piles of shit with him underneath.

“Scully …”

“Home.”

Suddenly sober, he restarted the car, “I was just playing.”

“Home,” she repeated, then, instead of returning to sleep, she dug some gum from the glove compartment and proceeded to chew a wad of it, very loudly.

Now, he could take bullets, he could take slime, he could take beratement of the highest degree and, as demonstrated, he could even take bile but he absolutely despised the cud-chewing noises she was making. He withstood it for a long as humanly possible before, “could you please get rid of that? You sound like a damn cow.”

“You want me to get rid of the gum?”

“Yes!”

“Where do you want me to put it?”

His mistake was answering too quickly, “anywhere. I don’t care. Just stop chewing it.”

“Okay then.” Undoing her seatbelt, she twisted so she faced him, and in a gracefully disgusting move, she rolled the gum in her fingers, then proceeded to push it up his nose.

He knew something was coming and completely powerless to stop it, he just sat there as a thumb-size chunk of grape Hubba-Bubba was fitted into his right nostril.

She then calmly sat back down and re-buckled herself in.

He left the gum there as he turned to her, “Scully?”

“Yes, Mulder.”

“I believe we’re even now.”

Her belly laugh echoed off the windows and he began laughing as well, slipping the gum from his nose and putting it in his mouth.

Through her laughter, she grimaced, “eww, that’s disgusting.”

“But it’s grape.”

&&&&&&&&&

They finally made it to Mulder’s apartment and since her brain had drifted completely, she didn’t really notice where they were until he stopped the car, “why are we here?”

“Literally or existentially because I don’t think I can take a metaphysical discussion at the moment?”

“Literal.”

“You drove. You drop me off then drive yourself home.”

“Where’s your car, Mulder?”

Pointing to where he always parked, he saw an empty spot, “your house.” His head dropped to the steering wheel, “damn.” Looking at her out of the corner of his eye, “I’ll take you home.”

“No. I want out of the damn car and I want to go to sleep. Right now.”

“Then grab the bags from the store … I’ll get the suitcases.” They managed to make it in his door before dropping everything simultaneously. Mulder then re-picked up her bag and set it in his bedroom, “I’ll take the couch.”

“No, I will. I shoved gum up your nose.”

“And I yelled ‘blinking yellow’.”

Contemplating for a half second, “you’re right.”

He gave her a grin, “just help me change the sheets first.” Nodding, she had the bed stripped by the time he came back with a clean set. They finished in no time and he stepped back, nodding his head, “two people make that way faster.”

“Anytime Mulder but for now, I’m using your bathroom then going to bed.”

“Aye, aye captain.”

Meeting him in the hall on the way back from the bathroom, “g’night, Mulder.”

“’Morning, Scully.”

Before going to the bedroom, she grabbed one last thing, then changed, crawled under the clean sheets and was out before her head hit the pillow.

&&&&&&&&&&

He woke up leisurely. The phone hadn’t rung, no one had knocked on his door, obnoxious garbage men hadn’t rattled the dumpsters … he had woken up because he had finally caught up on his sleep. Marveling at the idea, he stood and moved silently towards his bedroom to check to see if she was awake yet.

Finding her spread eagle on her stomach, covers twisted around her and bare leg sticking out, foot hanging off the side of the bed, he nearly laughed when he saw her wearing the neon green t-shirt he’d bought the night before.

Deciding to let her sleep, he went to the bathroom, then made himself a bowl of cereal. By the time he’d sat down with his second helping, he heard the creak of his bedroom door. Looking up, he saw her standing there, hair tousled, eyes partially open, wearing only the t-shirt, which fell to mid-thigh. Swallowing the frogs in her throat, “’morning.”

After a glance at the DVD player’s clock, “afternoon.” Without comment, she padded across the cool floor and dropped down next to him, curling her legs underneath her. Covering them with his blanket, she reached over, took the spoon and helped herself to a large spoonful of cereal. Shaking the milk off, she had it nearly to her mouth when he finally spoke, “I thought you said you’d never wear that shirt?”

As the cereal entered her mouth, her lips quivered in the slightest of smiles, “shut up, Mulder.”

[revengeoftheantichrist]

Anti-Christ Superstar

Warnings: Drug use

AO3

Chapter 1: She’s with the band

Friday night in Camden was bad. Friday night in Camden behind the bar was worse. Tonight, was hell, you were sure the devil invented this job to torment people. Your bar was a club and music venue for all things alternative. And tonight, you were graced with the presence of the new-ish kids on the scene. Satanic Panic had taken the alternative world by storm. They were on their second world tour, for their album ‘Fire and Reign’. They were playing your venue tonight and the place was jam packed. You didn’t even know you had the capacity for all these people, but here you were, taking order after order. You weren’t surprised at the turnout. The atmosphere of the room truly was electric, and you had felt it once before. You remembered seeing them for their Hawthorne tour at Leeds festival a few years ago, when they were fresh faced and very new to the scene. The way they managed to control the crowd of the smaller stage was quite magical, better than some of the bands that played the main stage. You weren’t surprised at their success; the music was good and the whole band was eye candy for people of all ages. However, you wished they would go be successful somewhere else, not in the place you worked, a venue what you thought was far too small for them now. You were just about to take a new order, before the manager pulled you back. “Y/N come with me,” he said, pulling you to the backstage area, you could barely hear him over the loud music and people. “Everything okay?”, you asked. “well…” he hesitated, “How goods your bass skills?” he finished. You gave him a confused look, “what the fuck are you on about?” He let out a sight. “Look, the bassist for the band just dropped out last minute, they clocked your bass in the locker room and asked if you could play decent… I said yes and they need you ready for stage in like… 15 minutes,” he said, looking at his watch. “Josh! My bass is pink and sparkly it’s not gonna fit the aesthetic and were flooded with thirsty people out there,” you whisper-shouted. “Okay great! You’ll play then,” he said, looking more giddy than necessary. Before you could shout at him, a velvety voice interrupted you. “So, is this our replacement for tonight?” You turned to look at the source, Michael Langdon, lead guitar and vocals. The face of the band. His perfect eyebrow was raised as his baby blues looked you up and down, sizing you up to see if you were fit for the task. Your manager spoke, “Yeah, this is Y/N just give her the instructions and she’ll do fine, I’m off to cover her shift now, have fun,” he waved at you before almost skipping to take over your post. You were left alone with Michael, at a loss for words. “C’mon, lets go, we have a concert to play,” he grabbed your wrist and dragged you along with him. You couldn’t believe this, you though you might be hallucinating, the heat of the venue getting to you. You pulled your phone out of your pocket to snap a picture, to prove to yourself and your friends that this night really did happen. Michael was too busy barking orders to the side to notice the picture had been taken. You finally got to where the other two bandmembers were standing. They looked up from their conversation and smiled at you. “The pink bass yours?” asked the blonde on, this was Xavier, the drummer of the band, his little cross earring glimmered at every concert. Upon a closer look you realised the cross was inverted. How very on brand. You nodded in reply, still trying to come to terms with the situation. “Oh cool, we’ve never played with a girl before, you better be good,” the brunet laughed. This was Duncan, the other guitarist. He had the good boy gone bad vibe to him, a rebel from a prim and proper family. You looked and him and pointed to your nose, “nose is a bit crusty there,” you said. Duncan laughed and wiped the white powder, sniffling a little, “thanks”. “Are you all quite finished?” interrupted Michael, looking annoyed at the interactions. The rest of the band just rolled their eyes. “10 MINUTES!” someone shouted. “Am I getting paid for this by the way?” you asked, not wanting your talents and time to go unrewarded, you were here to work after all. “Of course,” Michael snapped, “We have 10 Minutes before we get on there and we’ve never been late, here’s the set list, I’m sure you’ve heard our shit before if your working in a place like this,” Michael shoved a piece of paper in your hands. “shouldn’t be too hard to keep up, now, this is Rin,” he pointed to a blonde woman, “She’s the techie that’s gonna get you set up. Other than that, just follow my lead and stand on the right side of the stage,” he finished. That was a lot of information to process at once. “I’m Y/N by the way,” you finally introduced yourself to everyone, while holding your hand out to Rin. The support act was coming off stage as Rin gave you a quick rundown and set you up. You had worked here for months and yet there was still so little you knew about the stage. She told you exactly where to stand and where not to stand due to pyrotechnics. All you could do was nod, the reality of what you had been roped into hadn’t hit you yet. You were pulled away by Michaels death grip, it was time to go on. You took a deep breath, the nerves beginning to hit you. Michael was adjusting his leather trousers. Duncan was making sure his docs were tied tightly, not having a repeat of the last tour where he tripped over the laces and fell face first into the crowd. Xavier stood next to you, he noticed the look on your face and put a reassuring hand on your shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “Hey, look, its gonna be fine. You know deep down inside how talented you are, otherwise, you would have run for the hills. This is a really weird situation so just give it all you got okay,” he gave you a little pep talk. “Thanks, I really needed that,” you smiled, patting the hand that was on your shoulder. “Can the pair of you please shut the fuck up, were going on now,” Michael snipped. “Who pissed in your cornflakes this morning,” you snapped back, not appreciating the attitude boy wonder was giving you. He opened his mouth to speak, but the lights lit up the stage and the crowd started to go insane, ready for the band to come out. You tried to control the nausea you were feeling, walking to your designated section of the stage. The crowd was massive but thankfully, all eyes were on Michael. You pulled the strap of your bass on, adjusting it so it would be comfortable for a long night of playing. You didn’t even know if you had the stamina for it. Michael had stopped talking to the crowd and Xavier started on the drumbeat. You looked back at your friends at the bar, your manger giving you a thumbs up. You began to strum in time with Xavier, setting the beat for the song. You thanked your lucky stars that you had just removed your acrylics a few hours ago. Michael’s and Duncan’s guitars came in, completing the intro to the song. Michael’s voice finally joined in. It was as if the room had immediately been put in a trance. You had been on the other side of the feeling before, being on stage with it was almost the same. Instead, it felt like your fingers were playing on their own, separate from the rest of you. You closed your eyes and embraced the feeling, letting the music and Michael’s voice control you. You opened your eyes and were met by Michael’s intense gaze, you just smiled at him, before looking back to the crowd and winking at your friend in the crowd. You still felt Michael’s eyes on you. The lights transitioned, indicating the song change. Michael and Duncan were back to back, in their competitive duet piece in the song. The crowd was going crazy at the performance. You looked back at Xavier and grinned at each other; you were surprised at how much you were enjoying yourself. Time seemed to fly, before you knew it you had played the final song of the set. You were finally out of your daze and got a good look of the room around you. Everything seemed so much brighter on stage. Duncan came over and gave you a high-five. “Thank you, London,” Michael began, “It’s been great performing for you all tonight. I want to say a huge thank you to Y/N over here for filling last minute, we wouldn’t have been able to perform without her,” he said, gesturing to you. A sudden shyness hit you, hearing the crowd cheer for you. You smiled and waved, giving them a little bow. The band finished with their messages, before walking off stage to a cheering crowd. “Oh my god,” you whispered to yourself. “There’s no god here,” Michael whispered in your ear. “Personal space Langdon,” you replied, glaring at him. A short woman with dark hair walked towards you. “This is Ms. Meade, our manager,” introduced Duncan. You held you had for her to shake, “Y/N”. She shook your hand, “the people on social media are loving you, you know that? We haven’t had this much of a positive response to a bassist since the one a few years ago. What was his name again? …. Eh, I can’t remember,” she shrugged. “This is so surreal,” you said to yourself, lightly patting you hot cheeks. “I need a spliff after this.” “Ask and ye shall receive,” Xav said, holding a rolled one out at you. You smiled and took it, “you are My favourite person on planet earth right now Xav,” you said, bringing out your lighter. You walked out to the smoking area, chatting away with Xavier about the strange day you were having. You heard Duncan snicker behind you, not knowing he was laughing at the death glare Michael was giving Xavier. Xavier and you scrolled through the twitter and Instagram tags of the concert. Meade was right, you seemed to be getting a lot of attention on there. You DM’s were blowing up too, from friends, family and total strangers on the internet. Within a span of a few hours, crazy fans had found your social media and followed you everywhere. If you hadn’t had been stoned, maybe you would have panicked a little at the sudden attention. But that was a problem for sober you. You went back inside to, Meade, your manager and the boys having a heated conversation. “Ah, Y/N so nice of you to join us,” said your manager. Meade just rolled her eyes, interrupting him before he could go any further. “Look, I’m gonna cut right to it kid. The people love you and we don’t have a bassist for the rest of the tour. You’ll be fully paid and accommodated for. If you don’t like it, Josh over here says your free to come back here any time. We’ll even throw in your own bus for you. How’s that sound?” You brain barely processed what she said. They wanted you permanently, your mouth was gaping like fish. “C- can I read the contract at least?” you asked. She shrugged and pulled out a wad of paper, it had to be thicker than the bible, your eyes widened. “Is there a TL;DR version of that?” “Nope,” they all said in unison. “We need to know by tonight, we leave for Europe on Monday, so you have Saturday and Sunday to pack and tie up any loose ends if you choose to do so,” she said. You looked around the room at the band members. Duncan and Xavier looked happy to have you, grinning at you. Michael however had a sour look on his as face, as if your very existence was offensive to him. You smiled to yourself, the thought of you just being near him and irritating him for a few months was enough to convince you. Getting on his nerves was already becoming a favourite pastime of yours. “Pen?” you held out you hand. Meade handing you heavy and expensive looking black pen. You signed your name onto the contract in blood red ink, not looking at the contents of the contract. “Welcome aboard Y/N, you’re officially a member of Satanic Panic.”

[rinkrats]

Clearly the beat writers really, really, reeeally miss hockey. Their fantasy take on the Pens vs Flyers (can this outcome be real life please?):

Game 4

On the off day between Game 3 and 4, Evgeni Malkin made a prediction: “We win next game, and who knows?”

OK, so it wasn’t exactly Mark Messier-stuff. But, as did Messier in the 1994 conference final for the Rangers, Malkin said his piece and then delivered in a must-win game for the Penguins. His first-period hat trick chased Carter Hart before 15 minutes in the Penguins’ 12-4 win in Philadelphia.

“I think it was finally good luck for us,” Malkin said after his first five-goal game at any level of hockey. “Maybe, you know, we see good Penguins rest of way?”

Malkin’s five goals tied Mario Lemieux’s franchise record for a playoff game. It was Sidney Crosby, however, who nearly made Lemieux’s record for most points by a Penguins player in a playoff game his own record. Crosby’s two goals and five assists — including three on power-play snipes by Malkin — gave him seven points. Lemieux’s added three assists to his five goals in the Penguins’ Game 5 win at home against the Flyers in the 1989 Patrick Division final.

Game 5

Flyers captain Claude Giroux tipped his cap to the Penguins. He said their decision to play with seven defensemen has changed the series.

“It’s not the extra D,” Giroux said. “It’s having Crosby or Malkin on that fourth line. Those guys are great players. It’s hard enough when they’re not double-shifting. When they are, it’s almost impossible.

“We need to make an adjustment. We need to win the next game. It’s our Game 7.”

Game 7

Insanity. The Penguins pull off the comeback.

Sidney Crosby tried. He really did. Like, he really, really tried to cover his face by burying into his gloves.

Nope.

He was laughing. Hard. Guffawing, actually. His face as red as the goal light he had lit four times.

And as the final minute passed on Game 7 for the ages — and a series for history — Crosby didn’t want anybody to see just how much he was enjoying the sight of Evgeni Malkin standing at the end of the Penguins bench and playfully conducting fans at PPG Paints Arena through a “Go Home Flyers” singalong.

“After G’s last four games, he can do whatever he wants,” Crosby said.

The Penguins’ 4-2 victory in Game 7 will be remembered for a lot of reasons:

Crosby outscoring the Flyers by himself

Crosby scoring four goals five ways (power play, penalty shot, even-strength and a shorthander into an empty net)

Crosby captaining the Penguins to a successful rally from a 3-0 series deficit

Still, one of the truly sensational elimination-game performances in NHL history was a subplot to the story of this series. And that would be the combined dominance of Crosby and Malkin, who had combined for only three goals and four points in Games 1-3.

“I’m thinking the last four are what we’ll remember,” Patric Hornqvist said. “One day, I’ll bring my kids back to Pittsburgh, show them the statues of Sid and G, and I’ll say, ‘You don’t remember it, but those two had a hundred points for us when we came back against the Flyers that one year.’”

Not quite.

But Malkin (5-6-11) and Crosby (6-7-13) sure looked like they were doing the impossible while spearheading an improbable comeback in Games 4-7.

“Our job’s to score,” Malkin said. “Not just score, but lead team. It’s Sid’s team. He’s best player. Of course, it’s his team. But I’m great player, too. Like I tell you (last) summer, I’m top 10 player. Still. We have, you know, me and Sid, and if we do job — it’s, like, ‘Go Home Flyers.’”

Malkin won 57 percent of his faceoffs and took only a minor penalty for tripping in the series. It was a performance, as coach Mike Sullivan said, that cemented a Hall of Fame future.

“If you ask me, Geno’s been our best player all season, and he’s probably the most underappreciated all-time player in our sport,” Sullivan said. “I honestly believe people take him for granted. And I understand how that could happen. Geno plays with Sid, and like I’ve said so many times, I think Sid is the most complete player in our game. I think if you look at this series, Sid is still the best player in our game.”

Or …

“Ever,” Flyers captain Claude Giroux said from inside a dressing room that emptied out quickly after Philadelphia again blew a lead headed into the third period.

“I know everybody wants me to say something else, to keep the feud fresh or whatever; but Crosby is the best player right now, like he has been for a long time, and he might be the best player ever. He beat us himself tonight. We had the matchup we wanted every time. He was just better than what we had.

“I’m disappointed. I can’t say I’m upset. We played well for a lot of this series. People will say we choked. I’ll say we ran into the greatest player of at least this generation and probably the best second center a team has had, at least offensively. The level Crosby and Malkin were at those final four games — don’t tell me we choked.

“If we did, they strangled us.”

...Not much was said in the Penguins’ room. Instead, Malkin walked to the whiteboard and wrote “4-2 final” in blue marker.

Why blue?

“Other one was orange,” Malkin said of the available markers. “No, no!”

...Niskanen thew his stick at Crosby.

A penalty shot was awarded.

Crosby froze Carter with a leg kick and perfectly placed a wrist shot in the left corner.

“When he pumps, he wants to go backhand,” Carter said. “He froze me because that backhand is probably the best backhand you’ll ever see. You have to respect it.

“I wasn’t going to get beat backhand.”

Crosby didn’t divulge his plan for the penalty shot. He also didn’t feel good about his chances.

“Hart’s been the best goalie in hockey for a few months now,” Crosby said. “He doesn’t give you anything. I saw the corner, and to be honest I don’t think it was the right decision. It’s a low-percentage shot in that situation. Last thing you want to do is miss. Like, make the goalie stop a shot.

“It was G who told me to go for the corner. I was at the bench. You can see he says something to me.”

What did Malkin say exactly?

“Like, Sid, you shoot corner,” Malkin said. “I promise goalie.”

The Flyers pulled Carter with a bit more than two minutes remaining and Kris Letang serving a minor penalty for slashing. But Crosby killed the bulk of that power play, playing 1:27 of the two minutes. He scored into an empty net with 13 seconds remaining on that penalty kill, and then never took another shift.

“My skate actually broke on that last shift,” Crosby said. “Thank god I scored, because it was the only way I could get off the ice.”

Told after the game that Crosby scored his fourth goal while playing on a broken skate, Flyers coach Alain Vigneault has no choice but to laugh. He recalled an exchange with Flyers assistant Michel Therrien, who was Crosby’s coach for three seasons.

“Michel said Crosby should have to play every game on one leg, so it’s fair,” Vigneault said.

“But I don’t know if that would make it fair. If you play the Penguins and Crosby and Malkin catch fire, it’s not fair. It’s not fun.”

-Simulating the 2020 Playoffs: Penguins vs Flyers, 19 April 2020

[ellewritesathing]

So Close - S.S. XXI

Summary: The universe has a funny way of putting the things you want right in front of you, but just out of reach. Stiles and Y/N have been best friends ever since Scott brought him home, but when Stiles realizes that he might want to be something other than best friends, she leaves to go to some fancy private school up North. Now that she’s back though … maybe he’s got a shot? A Teen Wolf AU in which the reader has always been so close to Stiles and yet so far.

Prologue - S2E1 Part 1 - S2E2 + S2E3 Part 2 - S2E4 + S2E5 + S2E6 Part 3 -  S2E7 +S2E8 Part 4 - S2E9 + S2E10 Part 5 - S2E11 + S2E12 Part 6 Part 7 - S3AE1 Part 8 - S3AE2 + S3AE3 Part 9 - S3AE4 Part 10 - S3AE5 + S3AE6 Part 11 - S3AE7 + S3AE8 Part 12 - S3AE9 + S3AE10 + S3AE11 Part 13 - S3AE11 + S3AE12 Part 14 Part 15 - S3BE1 + S3BE2 Part 16 - S3BE3 + S3BE4 Part 17 - S3BE5 + S3BE6 Part 18 - S3BE7 + S3BE8 + S3BE9 Part 19 -  S3BE10 +  S3BE11 Part 20 -  S3BE11 +  S3BE12 Part 21

Word-count: 2.3k+

A/N: guess who got enough time away from their family to edit!! this girl!! anyway i know i ended the last part off with Angst so i wanted to give you guys something a little less sad. happy holidays guys!!  💕

You weren’t sure how long you’d been driving around Beacon Hills and drinking far too much coffee while you did, but when the empty fuel tank warning lit up you had a feeling you had to stop sometime soon. Luckily, you were close enough to the Hales to make a U-turn and stop at the loft. You dashed up the stairs and started banging on the door, waiting for someone to answer. 

When they did, they had to dodge your closed fist. “Woah, Jesus. That was really close to my face,” Isaac complained. He looked tired and confused but that melted away when he saw the tears streaked down your face. “Hey, what’s wrong? You alright?”

You stepped past him and into the loft, taking deep breaths as you ran shaky hands through your hair. You were pacing while you tried to calm down. “Stiles slept with Malia,” you said after a minute. No reason to sugarcoat it.

“I’ll kill him.” Isaac’s steely resolve as he spoke made you laugh, which only served to make him more concerned as you walked over and pulled him into a hug. “No, Y/N, I’m not joking. He’s a dead man. Seriously. Say the word and I’ll-”

You didn’t see Cora come in, but you heard her grumpy voice as she asked, “What the hell are you two doing?” 

When you looked up, you found her in the pajamas that you’d loaned her when she first came to stay with you. The longer you were here, the more the Hales chipped away at your anger. “I-” 

“Stiles cheated on her,” Isaac interrupted, still clearly annoyed. 

Cora didn’t look tired anymore; in that instant, she looked furious. “I’ll kill him. Isaac, come on, I-”

“No, okay?” you interrupted. “I love you guys but, seriously, what is with you and killing Stiles?” 

Isaac started sputtering an explanation about how he was just looking out for you and Cora rolled her eyes and mumbled something to the effect of’ if he wasn’t such a dumbass then she wouldn’t have to threaten him so much’ when you heard Derek. It made you cut your laugh short. 

“Why is it that every time I wake up in the middle of the night, the three of you are always involved?” Derek asked, walking slowly into the living room. 

“Because Y/N is having a personal crisis,” Isaac explained, looking tired again. 

Derek raised an eyebrow and you held out a hand to placate him. “It’s not a personal crisis,” you said. “It’s just-”

“I’m gonna kill Stilinski,” he mumbled, rubbing his temples. 

“No!” you whined. You heard laughter behind you and turned to find Isaac and Cora hiding behind their hands. Derek was smiling when you faced him again. It made you laugh and hold your head in your hands.

“So are you going to tell us what happened or should I just make up a bed?” Cora asked after a few moments. 

“Uh, honestly, I don’t know what happened. It happened when they were at Eichen House,” you started. “He wouldn't have told me if she didn’t literally try to sleep with me while-” 

“Wait, what?” Isaac asked. 

“This is a little out of my league,” Derek said before you could explain. “I’ll get started on that bed while you guys ... sort this out.”

You squeezed his shoulder on his way out before settling down on the couch with Isaac and Cora. You told them about everything, pouring your heart out about every Stiles Stilinski interaction you’d had since you met.

--

Despite spending all your time at the loft over the past week or so and helping them pack, you still didn’t think they’d go through with their plan to take time off in South America. Even as you stood at the back of the group as everyone said their goodbyes and Derek loaded up the car, you hoped they’d change their minds. 

Scott had already said his goodbyes and promised them their spots in the pack when they came back. Lydia was surprisingly upset as she said goodbye, you guessed all that time spent tutoring Cora amounted to a pretty strong friendship. Stiles hugged both of them goodbye. And then it was your turn, and there was no getting out of it. 

“So you guys are really going?” you asked. You could hear the tears in your voice and you knew they could too. 

Cora nodded, still uncomfortable about talking about her feelings. “Peter said I can’t talk to Malia and I can’t do that if I stay here. She’s my family. So I need to take some time until she’s ready to be mine.” 

You nodded. “Yeah, that, uh- that makes sense. And Isaac’s always wanted to travel so …” you gave him a small smile before turning back to Cora. “You’ll take care of him for me, okay?” 

Cora looked like she was about to say something but decided against it. Instead, she pulled you into an unexpectedly tight hug. “Thank you. For helping me and making me feel … normal again.”

You were about to tell her that you should be thanking her when a pair of long, lanky arms wrapped around the two of you. “Isaac, what are you doing?” you laughed. 

“It’s a group hug,” he said. “And you better enjoy it because it’s the only one you’re getting.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m enjoying it! Shut up,” you teased. Before you knew it, the three of you were pulling away, but you held onto their hands as you exchanged some heavy looks. “I love you guys. Be safe, okay?” 

Isaac smiled and squeezed your hand. “We love you, too.” 

You gave them one last smile before turning and taking a deep breath. Your eyes fell on a very sad looking Derek Hale. You nudged his arm as you made your way over. “You’re looking more mopey than usual,” you said with a small smile. “Does that mean you’re going to miss me?” 

He laughed and shook his head. “As hard as it may be to believe … yeah. I am.” 

“Wait, seriously?” you asked. You weren’t surprised that he’d miss you, but you were surprised he admitted it. “Derek, that’s so sweet.” 

“Yeah, well it’s not going to be so sweet if you throw another party in my loft,” he said, voice getting a little tenser. 

“Come on, that wasn’t even my party!” You shoved him in the arm. “You can’t still be mad about that.” 

“Do you have any idea how badly body paint stains flooring?” he asked, ignoring your shove. “Besides, you were there and that’s enough to-”

“So were about a hundred other kids. Including these dummies and Cora and Isaac, in case you forgot.” You pointed a finger at the group and Derek laughed again. It made you ease up. You bumped his arm lightly with your elbow.  “I’m gonna miss you, too, by the way. You’re like the big brother I never had.” 

“Hey!” you heard Scott whine and waved him off. 

“Thanks,” he smiled. “It means a lot.” 

Despite your better judgment telling you not to, you pulled him into a hug. When you made it clear that you weren’t letting go until he hugged you back, he put an unsure arm around your shoulders. 

“There,” you said as you pulled away. “I don’t know why it’s so hard for you Hales to admit you like being hugged.” 

“Did you ever think maybe it’s because we don’t like being hugged?” he asked. 

“No, that’s not it,” you said very seriously. You broke into a smile. “Now get out of here before I do something stupid like go with you.”

---

Christmas was one of your favorite holidays, but it was hard to get into the celebrating mood when two of your best friends were in another country, one of them was dead, and another was dating the girl that he’d sworn he didn’t have feelings for. And to make you even more annoyed, Scott and Kira were being adorable and awkward. 

When she bumped into him under the mistletoe and blushed before a quick peck on the lips, you rolled your eyes and downed whatever was left of your drink. They were so sweet together, but they didn’t know how to admit their feelings and it was driving you insane.

“Woah, easy there, sweetheart,” Lydia teased next to you. “People might think you’re not enjoying the holiday festivities.” 

You pulled a face at her and she laughed before pulling you into a hug. The new angle gave you a clear view of Malia trying to figure out where she wanted to hang one of the decorations you’d made as a kid. You knew your anger towards her was unfair - and you did, grudgingly, like her - but it added to the list of reasons why you didn’t want to be here. 

“I’m going to get something to drink,” you said and untangled yourself from Lydia so you could get to your feet. You turned around to ask her something as you walked, but the words fell short when you bumped into someone. “I’m so sorry, I-” 

Stiles smiled down at you, seeming a little embarrassed. “Yeah, no worries. I wasn’t looking where I was going so …” 

This was the closest you’d been to each other since that night. Was he blushing? Were you? 

“Right. Well, anyway,” you said slowly as you started moving around him. You stopped when you heard Malia start talking. 

“Well, aren’t you guys gonna kiss?” she asked. She must have picked up on your shock and horror because she pointed to the ceiling above you. “Mistletoe. Scott and Kira had to do it.” 

“Uh, that’s different,” Stiles said awkwardly, holding out a hand to make his point. 

“How?” she asked as she folded her hands over her chest. 

“Because Scott isn’t dating someone,” you said. Seriously, you got that she was a coyote for like a decade, but hadn’t she seen a single Christmas movie since being human again?

“But Stiles is-” Malia started. 

“Malia, just drop it, okay?” Stiles said behind you. “This doesn’t have to be a big-” 

It was hard not to notice everyone staring at you. “Fine, you know what?” you sighed, cutting Stiles off. You turned to face him and placed your hands on either side of his face before reaching up and kissing him. You’d be lying if you said it didn’t make you feel anything, but it did soften your anger slightly. “There. Now I’m gonna go get something to drink.”

You pulled your hands back to your sides and rushed off to the kitchen to gather yourself. So what if you still had feelings for Stiles? He was dating Malia and he seemed genuinely happy for the first time since he was eight. There was nothing for you to do except to just get over-

“Hey.” You felt Lydia put a hand on the small of your back while you were digging in the fridge. “You wanna get out of here for a little while? We’re out of cranberries so I thought we could do a grocery run. Kira’s already in the car.” 

“Yeah,” you said softly. “Yeah, that would be great.” 

The two of you walked out hand in hand while you avoided eye contact and Lydia told everyone where you were going. The drive was quiet and you just focused on not being such a headcase, but it was easier once the three of you were walking around the grocery store. 

“-And it’s not like I’m mad at him for being happy,” you continued, “It’s just that he didn’t tell me about her and then insisted there was nothing going on and now-” 

“Is this how it felt when Allison and I talked about Scott and Jackson?” Lydia interrupted. She gave you a teasing smile when you pushed her arm. 

“I mean, I get all that - I do,” Kira started. “But can’t you just talk to him about it? If it bothers you so much.” 

“Okay, no. I couldn’t do that because I had literally just watched another one of my friends die. I was upset and he was still recovering from being possessed,” you said. A toddler looked at you and you smiled and turned around quickly. “I thought we were just taking a break until the time was right.” 

“But isn’t there always something wrong? With the timing, I mean,” Kira asked. 

“Well … yeah,” you said, crossing your arms over your chest. 

“Then doesn’t that mean that you should’ve talked to him anyway?” 

“Yeah, I know that now! But it doesn’t change anything.” You shook your head. “I’ve been in love with Stiles basically since I realized what love was. But we don’t talk about it. Ever. And now I can’t just upend his happiness because of how I feel. That’s not how we do things.” 

“Oh, uh-” Kira looked over at Lydia and Lydia shrugged in response. “Okay.” 

You sighed and grabbed another bag of chips for the movie night you guys had planned. “I’m sorry. I know I sound crazy. It’s just- Cora and Isaac are gone and they’re usually the ones that talk me through the crazy. And if they’re not around, then it’s Allison. And Allison is …” you broke off and took a breath. “Anyway, I just- I appreciate you listening to me.” 

“It’s what friends are for,” Lydia said with a small smile. “Now, do you think we need more eggnog?” 

“Oh, yeah. Definitely,” Kira smiled. She bumped your arm before going off to find more supplies. 

Before you knew it, you were alone in the junk food aisle, staring at a pack of Reese’s cups and reaching up to where your necklace used to hang around your neck. The movement was so instinctive that you didn’t realize you were reaching for Stiles’ necklace until your hand got to where the ring should have been and found nothing but ugly Christmas sweater.

Part 22

[the-caffeine-hero]

To Hault An Icarus

Kurapika has never been one to waste time, even at his own expense. Perhaps a phone call from a friend can change his mind?

Cross Posted on AO3

The night was quiet as week-old death. The only semblance of noise was the click of a computer mouse and the squeak of a desk chair. How long had it been since he had gotten up? Hours? Perhaps even days? No one would be able to tell. The layer of dust around the room stood as a symbol of time past. In most situations, dedication of this magnitude would be considered impressive, even inspiring. The young blonde with undereye bags that seemed to overflow with more than just lack of sleep continuously scanned his eyes across the lit-up screen. His eyes momentarily darted to the on-screen clock only to see a stark 4:00 AM taunting him. The sun would rise soon enough. He leaned back in the chair while running a hand through hair that upon closer inspection had seen better days. Split ends, sporadic tangles, and a light covering of grease was a telltale sign of the young man's lack of care and loss of time. Time was a curious thing for the man as there wasn’t nearly enough of it. He didn’t want to waste a minute, there weren't enough seconds in the day for him to slow down.

Slender fingers lightly grazed the dangling red earring in his left ear. It was a traditional piece, crafted from the brightest ruby one had ever seen. The young man had very little left physically of his clan as they are long since gone. Even his clothing that fitted loosely over his body were that of a more metropolitan kind. His eyes trailed to the traditional Kurta clothing hung up gently in the closet which too carried a thin layer of dust on them. The young man could only think of the inevitable dust that the remains of his clan have become. His eyes clenched shut, his nose scrunching up as well before he shook his head before returning to the screen in front of him. He had not a single second to waste. Not when his clan had their seconds snatched away from them.

Before the young man could fully fall back into the seemingly endless void that was his research, a soft vibration buzzed against his thigh. He seemingly tried to ignore the sensation only to feel the vibrations over and over again. The young man took a deep breath, seemingly centering himself before begrudgingly pulling his phone out of his pocket and leaning back in the office chair, holding the phone above him as the light poured over his soft yet cracked features. The time was 4:03 AM and he had two missed calls from a certain med student. A small and almost sad smile graced the man's chapped lips. His arms slowly moved to his sides, about to slide the phone back into his pocket before that familiar vibration shook through his hand. Once again, the persistent med student called. The blonde stared down the phone with tired eyes. Who was he to answer? Did he deserve that right? Slowly the young man's fingers maneuvered into a tight fist, clenching tightly at his left side, seeming to ground him. He brought the same hand up to the phone in the other as it shook, hovering over the accept icon on the screen. If almost taunting the young man, just as his finger hit the screen, the call was dropped. The blonde's jaw clenched and his lips pursed into a tight line. The phone screen only showed another missed call and the time in a bright white reading 4:04 AM.

A new sound was the soft thump of his phone falling to the ground as he returned to the hunched position over the laptop in front of him. The screen had grown slightly dark from the lack of use over the course of just a few minutes. The top of the screen was littered with multiple open tabs with no discernible order. Each tab contained a news article or perhaps a local auction with even the slightest link to the coveted scarlet eyes. There wasn’t much on this version of the internet, yet it would be a waste not to try. Internet cafes closed and being tracked by a Hunter’s License really wouldn’t be the smartest move for anyone, nevermind a young man chained in a web of constant underworld doings and dangerous situations. As his eyes scanned the most recent news article, he reached for a scrap paper and a pen to write down a reminder to verbally pursue one of his many leads. There were many of these scrap papers littered over the desk, the handwriting varying from neat to nearly illegible. As he hurriedly wrote down a couple of words, a jarring and frankly generic ringtone rang through the air causing him to jump in his seat as his head whipped towards the phone taunting him from the floor. He quickly swooped the phone up and to his ear, pressing the accept symbol on the way up.

“Hello?” He answered with clear aggression laced in his voice.

“Kurapika, it's Leorio. Are you okay, man?” A voice responded seemingly not acknowledging the malice in the blonde's voice. For a moment, it was silent. Was he okay? He was alive and that was enough, right?

“I am. Is this an emergency?” Kurapika responded formally as he stiffened in place involuntarily preparing for the groan that was about to come from Leorio.

“I can’t just call to check up on you? You didn’t respond to any of us last week for your birthday so I personally think it’s reasonable for us to be a little worried.” Leorio said, each word growing in volume as if he was trying to drill the words into Kurapika’s mind. At the mention of his birthday, his shoulders dropped from their tightened position. He hadn't even noticed.

“My apologies for concerning you. I am fine. If that’s all you needed..” Kurapika began, responding as he always did to these types of calls before he was cut off.

“I don’t believe you. The last time I saw you, you looked like a walking corpse for God’s sake!” Leorio exclaimed through the phone, the volume causing Kurapika to pull the phone away from his ear slightly. “When was the last time you ate or slept? I know damn well you haven’t been keeping up with yourself hygienically either. Even if I wasn’t your friend, I’m gonna be a doctor one day. It would be insane for me to let you just kill yourself like this.” Leorio scolded over the phone, each word rushing out with the knowledge that the call could be ended at any moment. A slight wave of shame washed over the blonde. How long had it been since he ate? He wasn’t sure. That previous silence held in the air again, neither one knew how to respond. It was Leorio that broke the silence. “Listen…” he began, his voice unsure. “I know you like to do things on your own but you’re gonna burn yourself out. I’m not saying you need to stop. I’m just saying you gotta take a second to breathe.” He continued with a voice laced with a subtle pleading tone. “I don’t care how many times you try to push us away. Gon, Killua, and I care about you, man.” Leorio added on with a once again hurried voice. Kurapika stood silent, his eyes almost glazed over, as he felt his free hand twitching. He pulled the phone away from his ear, his eyes quickly scanning the phone for the time. It was 4:08 AM. His eyes trailed back to the laptop screen which has once again grown to the darken energy saver mode due to the lack of use. He was wasting time.

“Your concern is appreciated but not necessary. I am perfectly fine, Leorio. I will talk to you another time. Get some sleep yourself.” Kurapika mindlessly responded before hanging up the phone and returning to his seated position, quicking jogging the laptop awake. There wasn’t a moment to waste yet he continued to clutch the phone in his hand while trying to return to the task at hand. He couldn’t let the phone fall out of his hand again, it somehow was glued to him. Even as he maneuvered from website to website, the phone did not leave his palm.

It was 4:10 AM when he felt a buzz in his hand. It took only a moment but he pulled his tired eyes away from the laptop screen to see a text message from Leorio. It was long and had typos scattered through it yet the last clearly written phrase took him back.

“I know your revenge is important to you but don’t you think that your clan would want to see you live instead of just survive? The life you’re living isn’t really living, Kurapika.”

At first read, he felt anger building up inside him. The look of betrayal quickly flashing across his face only to quickly fade upon another text coming through.

“Don’t take it the wrong way man. I’m all for finding your clans eyes and kicking that Phantom Troupe into next week but what’s the point if you’re not alive at the end of it? I don’t want another friend to die.”

The anger that came from the first text was replaced with guilt. He wouldn’t die, would he? The blonde’s hands once again clenched his fists as he remembered how Leorio lost a friend due to something preventable. Was this the same thing? He looked back at the text for what seemed like an eternity. What would he say to that? Kurapika let out a sigh as he responded.

“You don’t need to worry, Leorio. I will take better care of myself. Thank you for your constant care.”

He hesitated to respond. Was he giving his friend false hope? Did he deserve to call Leorio his friend after all the worry he put him through? These questions banged in his mind as he quickly pressed send and shut his phone off in one quick motion. Kurapika sat for a moment. He glanced at the laptop. It was 4:15 AM. Perhaps, for tonight, he could go to bed early. For Leorio’s sake, if not his own. The blonde stared longingly at the laptop and its collection of open tabs before gently closing it before ghosting into the bedroom. The bed was still made from the last time he slept in it. It had been about a week since he generally would find himself asleep in the office chair after exhaustion took control. He looked around, catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror in the corner of his room. The person he saw looking back at him was tired. For the first time, he saw the unhealthy pale skin, under-eye bags, and unkempt hair. Perhaps tomorrow, he would take advantage of a day off.

As he changed from the same suit he had worn the past four days into actual sleeping clothes, he glanced at the clock. It was 4:30 AM and he could not escape the thought of wasted time as he pulled the covers up and slipped into his bed. Leorio’s text flashed into his mind. What would his parents say if they saw him like this? Was he doing the right thing? Would he even be able to sleep in this state? He gripped the comforter tightly as he tried to expel the thoughts from his mind. For just once, he shut his eyes and allowed his body to relax into the mattress, bringing the comforter around him tightly. It felt nice though the blonde doubted he deserved to feel any form of comfort. Those thoughts tried to force themselves further into his mind yet the embrace of sleep took the blonde over. No one could see but for the first time in months, the young man had a genuinely calm look plastered to his face. His quiet breathing was the only sound that could be heard in the room. This may only be a temporary stop on this Icarus-like man's journey but perhaps, if even for a moment, he could prevent his flight directly into the sun and just revel in the light.

[hermitologist]

My 20 Favorite Records of 2019

Lists! Everyone loves them. Here’s another one.

These are the records I liked the most this year. That doesn’t mean they’re the *best*, that means I liked them. You might not. That’s fine! You might be livid that Porpoise Corpse’s neo-classical folk prog double LP isn’t on my list because it’s an easy top 5 record for you, but maybe electric mandolin solos, blast beats, and harpsichord runs aren’t my thing. That’s fine too! It’s infinitely cooler and far more productive to let people enjoy the art they enjoy rather than wasting precious minutes of your life trying to convince the entire internet to have the exact same taste in music.

That said ... 

This years list is chock full of the usual, if you’re familiar with my taste at all -- tons of super heavy bummer jams, a handful of Radiohead-adjacent mid-tempo rock of the indie or emo variety, some hearty post-rock, some tried-and-true vets doing the thing they do very well ... again, and a few outliers. The honorable mentions list gets considerably more eclectic if you’re looking for stuff that sounds less like a soundtrack to various stages of the apocalypse.

As always, I welcome your suggestions for records and podcasts I might’ve missed the boat on. There’s way too much good stuff out there to keep up with, so PLEASE help me out.

Also: When I am not being a lazy pile of crap, I try to haul my dadbod around town for a run a few days a week and will listen to/briefly review a record in the process. Almost every record on this list has been a part of one of those posts, so if you’re interested in such a thing, please check out my Instagram.

BONUS: I put together a playlist on Spotify of my favorite song from each of my top 20 records, and a separate one for the 51 other records I liked this year, so if you’re overwhelmed and don’t know where to start, just needle drop a little and see if anything grabs you. And if anyone’s feeling productive and has time to do an Apple Music playlist, I’ll link and credit you.

Top 20 Spotify Playlist

Top 20 Apple Music Playlist -- Thanks, Austin!

Other Faves Spotify Playlist

But before we get to the Top 20, a couple of records that deserve a nod ... 

Record I Listened To The Most In 2019 Whether I Wanted To Or Not

Angel Du$t - Pretty Buff

This is my four-year-old son’s favorite record, and while I’m trying to round out his musical palate by throwing on all sorts of different bands while we’re hanging out, he insists on either “no music” or “The Basketball Song” (which is “Big Ass Love”). I have no idea how or why his little amazingly weird brain equates the song with basketball (a sport he doesn’t really play or watch or think about ever, to my knowledge), but it does. He LOVES IT. I’ve got to admit, I didn't care for the song all that much when I first heard it, but it’s an earworm, and some 3000 plays later, I love it, and I love the record. Funny how that works out.

Record That Came out in 2009, But I Didn’t Discover Until 2019

Self-Evident - Endings

Endings was neck-and-neck with my favorite record of 2019 for spins this year. Coincidentally, the it was recommended by someone from the band who made my #1 record, and it has moments where it sounds a whole hell of a lot like my #1 record. Blows my mind that a band that was/is so incredibly in my wheelhouse sonically, that has released nine LPs over an 18 year career, and operates in circles incredibly close to a ton of bands I love and respect and nerd out about music with somehow managed to elude me for the better part of two decades. At any rate I’m incredibly stoked to have finally found them, absolutely love them, and honestly might’ve listened to this LP 20 times in a matter of a few days when I got my first taste. It’s that good. 

And now for the list ... 

20) Remote Viewing - It’s Better This Way

Super nasty, dark, sludgy, well-crafted noise rock out of London that fits somewhere in between KEN Mode and early-Kowloon Walled City sonically. You’d think it was pretty crazy to have a band be so locked in and fully formed as early as LP2, but then you find out they’re ex-members of Palehorse, Million Dead, and I Want You Dead and it all kinda makes sense. Unfortunately, the song on the playlist is from a previous LP (because the new one is inexplicably not on Spotify), but you can and should get the new record on Bandcamp.

19) From Indian Lakes - Dimly Lit

I’ve been a big fan of FIL for years, but have always been at a bit of a loss when it comes time to describe them. It’s hazy and dreamy, but not quite shoegazey ... it’s insanely infectious and pleasing to the ear, but not really poppy ... it’s forward-thinking and experimental, but not quite art-rock or groggy at all. It’s just excellent. Full stop. If you dig anything from Tycho, to Radiohead, to The Cure, to Slowdive you’ll enjoy this.

18) Stray From The Path - Internal Atomics

Furious, mathy, riff-heavy hardcore from Long Island that sounds like a reformed Rage Against The Machine had spent the past two decades doing steroids, mainlining Red Bull, and studying the finer points of Moshology. The breakdowns are massive, the drumming absolutely mental, and the vocals pissed as hell. At my advanced age, it’s rare that a record makes me want to pit and/or try to deadlift cars, but this one’s got that magic.

17) Glassing - Spotted Horse

Mostly spazzy, occasionally dreamy, black-metal sprinkled post-hardcore that fits in very well with bands like Portrayal Of Guilt and Respire in the rebirth of traditional screamo. It’s fits and starts of chaos and beauty, and it all sounds and feels like it could completely go off the rails at any time which is what made bands like Orchid and Majority Rule and Saetia so great back in the day. 

16) La Dispute - Panorama

It’s no secret that I’m a big La Dispute fan (Thrice has toured the US with them twice in the past decade), and I love all of their records, but I’m pretty sure I can say with full confidence that this is the best record they’ve ever made. Everything is firing at peak performance, and the way the record is arranged and sequenced makes it feel more like a film score than a collection of songs. It’s a complete work -- meant to be listened to as such, which is a daunting artistic task, but they pulled it off in grand fashion.

15) Russian Circles - Blood Year

This band has been in the upper echelon of post-rock bands for as long as I can remember, and Blood Year is another incredible addition to their already stellar discography. These guys are all absolute monsters at their given instruments, and one of the best live rock bands on the planet, so getting to hear them do their thing on a record that manages to actually capture that live energy and ambience really does the trick for me. 

14) Greet Death - New Hell

This one kinda came outta nowhere for me, as I (ashamedly) was not familiar with them prior to giving New Hell a spin. It blew me away. I’m a total sucker for bummer jams, and this record is full of top-quality sludgy, sad, shoegazey goodness. If you dig Cloakroom, O’ Brother, or Pianos Become The Teeth this is gonna be right up your alley.  

13) Sleep Token - Sundowning

Another record that came out of nowhere to knock me on my ass. I downloaded it before a transatlantic flight on a whim (after hearing about 30 seconds of the opening track), hoping that it would be a nice, mellow companion to ease my in-flight anxiety. And it was, but whoa was it so much more than that. It kinda sounds like a collab between Active Child and Deftones -- poppy, melancholic piano ballads, brought to crushing crescendos via super heavy drop-tuned sludge -- which sounds like a mess, but it works so well. It’s a killer record and probably would’ve landed higher on this year’s list if it hadn’t come out so late in the year.

12) Big Thief - UFOF

This one’s a bit of an outlier, and a damn good one at that. I came across UFOF via a friend’s recommendation before the hype train had left the station, and honestly didn’t know what to expect. Said recommendation simply said that it was good and infectious and probably a few other things that I can’t recall, but didn’t mention the folk thing (which is great because I probably would have passed). The friend was right. It’s good (maybe even great), incredibly infectious, and gave me a nice reprieve from the heavy stuff I tend to listen to on the regular.

11) Cave In - Final Transmission

I’m beyond thankful we got any new music from Cave In after Caleb passed. They owed us nothing, and had every right to walk away, but managed to rally to release a killer record that is heavy both sonically and conceptually, and still manages to give me chills despite being live demos recorded in a rehearsal room. There are few bands on the planet who’ve inspired me like Cave In have, and seeing them pull together to grieve and forge ahead to continue to build their legacy is even more inspiring. What a band.

10) Pedro The Lion - Phoenix

My favorite singer/songwriter of my generation decided to revive the project that made me a fan of his in the first place. That project put out a record for the first time in 15 years, and I had unreasonably high expectations for it. Phoenix delivered and then some. I remember sitting at my kitchen table, weeping into my cup of coffee the first time I heard Phoenix, the same way Control used to make it seem like the inside of the Thrice van was getting a little dusty during cross-country drives back in the early 00s. It blows my mind that David Bazan can be such a prolific artist, write such insanely powerful music, and seem incapable of writing a dud song. 

9) Coilguns - Watchwinders

This Swiss noise-rock band kicks unbelievable amounts of ass. Their Millenials LP made my favorites list last year, and when I heard they had a follow up coming out a little over a year later, my gut reaction was to worry they’d blow it with a new record that was either rushed and/or half-assed, or lose the plot and take a hard left turn and make something markedly un-Coilguns. They did neither. The made an absolute monster of an album, that was apparently written in the studio, and is full of live energy in rawness that is pretty tough to capture in a sterile atmosphere like a studio. Watchwinders dropped in late October, and if I’d had a bit more time with it, I could see it moving up to my Top 5. It’s that good. I find myself going back to it constantly.

8) Blessed - Salt

This record kinda defies description, but it reminds me of everything from Pile to Menomena to Interpol to La Dispute to Devo at times. As scatterbrained and incongruent as that might sound, I assure you it rules. It was in verrrry heavy rotation this year -- mostly for the utterly filthy drum groove on the final track. If you like your music catchy, but slathered in weird, this is definitely gonna do the thing for you. It’s an incredible record.

7) Herod - Sombre Dessein

I hadn’t heard of this band before they popped up on a Spotify playlist early this year, and when “Reckoning” hit, it absolutely flattened me. You know that nuclear apocalypse scene from Terminator 2? That’s what “Reckoning” did to me. It was undoubtedly my favorite ultra-heavy track of the year, and while it’s my favorite song on the record by a pretty large margin, the rest of Sombre Dessein kicks ass too. It’s 42 minutes of crushing heaviness that kinda sounds like a blend of Cult Of Luna, Meshuggah, and Gojira. Heavy. Pissed. Unrelenting. And Outstanding.

6) Pile - Green & Grey

Every time I try to describe Pile to someone I fail. On Wikipedia they’re described as “indie rock”, which ... sure, I suppose? There’s a little post-punk in there, a little post-rock, a little noise-rock, nods to classic rock (maybe?), a little of that southern magic that made Colour Revolt so great (but Pile’s from Boston so hmm ... ), some country even? Do you like weird guitars? Freakish musicians? Melancholic crooning? I dunno. It’s all over the place, but in the best ways possible. They’re a singular band, and so damn good. Green & Grey is stellar addition to a discography that is already full of incredible music ... even if the album cover gives makes me want to fold those blankets and put them away.

5) PUP - Morbid Stuff

Was this the year that PUP broke? Definitely seems like it, and rightfully so. Morbid Stuff is my favorite thing they’ve ever done, but I’ve absolutely loved everything they’ve ever put out, so that’s saying a lot. Per usual, it’s insanely infectious and anthemic without being traditionally poppy or relying on tropes to burrow into your skull and take up residence there. It’s uplifting musically, but kinda depressing lyrically, which does this weird push/pull thing in my brain that makes it impossible to stop listening to. The musicianship is fantastic, the guitar parts especially -- like the guitar line in “Scorpion Hill” wow. I really needed a record to fill the gaping void between the metal/sludge/noise and the ambient/downtempo electronica I listened to this year, and Morbid Stuff fit the bill perfectly.

4) Cult Of Luna - A Dawn To Fear

These guys belong on the Mount Rushmore of Post-Rock/Metal with Neurosis and Isis. Nobody has done it better than them over the past two decades, and A Dawn To Fear is arguably their best work to date. It, like any Cult Of Luna requires a great deal of patience, but man if they don’t make the wait worth it. They’re the masters of the slow build to an absolutely crushing climax, the dynamic shifts that leave you feeling like you got hit by a freight train, the nuanced instrumentation that tells a different story each time you listen to a certain section of a song. They’re absolute masters at their craft, and this record is them at their peak. 

3) Big|Brave - A Gaze Among Them

Another record that came out of nowhere to completely floor me. I hadn’t heard a single note from this band until a friend recommended I check out the opening track, “Muted Shifting Of Space”. I did ... and that plodding drum and bass pulse with dark, swirling, ethereal guitar swells/feedback and soaring vocals building into a huge release of sludgy, drop-tuned goodness checked off all the boxes for me. I was hooked. The atmosphere and dynamics Big|Brave have built their sound around give every song a cinematic feel -- if you close your eyes, can you see drone footage of landscapes too? . If you dig post-rock/metal that is experimental around the edges, moody, absurdly heavy, and has both feet firmly planted in sludge, this is a must-have record. 

2) Cloudkicker - Unending

If you’ve been following me on social media or reading these year-end lists for a while you’re probably pretty familiar with Cloudkicker by now because any time we get new music I can’t shut up about it and the record invariably ends up on this list. This instance is no different. Unending is the first LP we’ve gotten from Ben Sharp in four years, and it’s worth the wait and then some. He’s managed to pull from every era of CK and turn it into a masterpiece mash-up of styles without it ever feeling rehashed or uninspired. I’d go far as to say this tops Beacons and Fade for me, and comes awfully close to challenging Subsume for my favorite Cloudkicker record of all time and space. There’s soooo much progressive and djenty masturbatory metal garbage floating in the ether right now. Hearing the one of the kings do the damn thing properly is incredibly refreshing.

1) Town Portal - Of Violence

No surprise here. I’ve been crapping my pants about this band ever since my good friend Scott Evans shared their music with me a couple years ago. I’ve been unhealthily obsessed ever since. The magical progressive rock/metal these three guys are capable melts and massages my brain in a way few bands ever have. Of Violence is incredibly mathy without ever feeling awkward, it’s melodic without being conventional, it’s discordant without being abrasive, it’s heavy as shit without being overloaded with distortion, it’s progressive as hell without ever coming remotely close to devolving into a wankfest, and it’s damn near perfect in every way. Songwriting? Great. Tones? Phenomenal. Musicianship? Otherworldly. Execution? Flawless. Mix? Perfect. Replayability? (Not a word, but ... ) PUT THIS RECORD ON A GODDAMN LOOP AND NEVER TURN IT OFF. Can you tell I like it? You might too, so give it a listen. And if by chance you do not like it, please see a doctor. You’re broken.

OTHER STUFF I REALLY ENJOYED THIS YEAR

HEAVY JAMS

METZ - Automat

Buildings - Negative Sound

Helms Alee - Noctiluca

Minors - Abject Bodies

Periphery - Periphery 4: HAIL STAN

Employed To Serve - Eternal Forward Motion

Elizabeth Colour Wheel - Nocero

Defeater - S/T

Pelican - Nighttime Stories

Spotlights - Love And Decay

Great Falls - A Sense of Rest

Baroness - Gold & Grey

The End of the Ocean - -aire

Vous Autres - Champ du Sang

Brutus - Nest

Torche - Admission

Glose - The Second Best of Glose

Throes - In The Hands of an Angry God

Slipknot - We Are Not Your Kind

meth. - Mother of Red Light

SECT - Blood of the Beasts

Kublai Khan TX - Absolute

Seizures - Reverie of the Revolving Diamond

Dead Kiwis - Systematic Home Run

Norma Jean - All Hail

Refused - War Music

Chamber - Ripping / Pulling / Tearing

MIDRANGE JAMS

Jimmy Eat World - Surviving

Elbow - Giants of All Sizes

Raketkanon - RKTKN #3

Bad Religion - Age of Unreason

The Appleseed Cast - The Fleeting Light of Impermanence

DIIV - Deceiver

Idiot Pilot - Blue Blood

Microwave - Death Is A Warm Blanket

Low Dose - S/T

SWMRS - Berkeley’s On Fire

Self-Evident - Lost Inside The Machinery

B. Hamilton - Nothing and Nowhere

MELLOW JAMS

Trade Wind - Certain Freedoms

Square Peg Round Hole - Branches

Great Grandpa - Four of Arrows

Local Natives - Violet Street

Rhone - Leaving State

Shlohmo - The End 

Tycho - Weather

Bon Iver - i,i

Drowse - Light Mirror

Bonniesongs - Energetic Mind

Telefon Tel Aviv - Dreams Are Not Enough

GoGo Penguin - Ocean In A Drop

Bent Knee - You Know What They Mean

THE PODCAST QUEUE

The Deadcast (RIP) - sports, culture

Chapo Trap House - politics

The Rich Roll Podcast - health, wellness, endurance sports

Hang Up & Listen - sports

Effectively Wild - baseball

The Gist - current events

The Downbeat - drums, humor

To Live & Die In LA - true crime

FilmDrunk Frotcast - movies, culture, humor

The Modern Drummer Podcast with Mike & Mike - drums (duh)

The Trap Set - also drums

Song Exploder - songwriting

[ladyxxdaydream]

47 (Texting the incorrect number but continuing the conversation)

Well, this was a fun way to spend my sunday morning (✿◠‿◠).

These are meant to be a little rough–spur of the moment writing with little editing–while I’m working on my longer fics. If I get enough requests, I may add a drabble section on my Ao3 page, and polish them up to post over there. Thanks for the request, tea! Hope you like it.

ʕ≧ᴥ≦ʔ You can submit your own from the list here. ♡

☆゜:。*。。*:゜☆

Kakashi couldn’t sleep. He grabbed his track pants he had discarded on the floor, removing a wrinkled piece of paper out of the pocket. Gai had finally entered this century, and gotten a cell phone. He had scrawled his number on top of a flyer for his personal training program—Green Beast—before Kakashi had left the gym earlier today.

He punched it into his phone and sent a text.

Yo, what are you doing?

Binge watching the newest season of Icha Icha instead of grading exams. God, it’s so terrible.

Wait, what? Kakashi knew for a fact that his best friend didn’t watch Icha Icha, much to his dismay. Gai was a crossfit trainer; he’d have no reason to be grading exams. And Kakashi imagined that his friend’s exuberance would translate through text. There wasn’t nearly enough yelling in the form of all caps and exclamation points. Did he have the wrong number? But then why would this person be answering like they knew him?

And what was that crap about Icha Icha being terrible?!

He couldn’t help himself.

Then why are you watching it if it’s so terrible? He typed out, annoyed.

It’s like being stuck in traffic over a car accident, and you’re cursing the people who keep slowing down to stare, while vehemently telling yourself you won’t act like everyone else, but then you get there, and you become that bitch. You can’t help but stare.

Kakashi couldn’t hold back his laugh. It rang out in his empty apartment.

Hm. Sounds like you secretly like it.

Of course I do. What, you think I have no self restraint? You know me better than that.

Shit. What was Kakashi doing? He should really tell this person he accidentally sent a text to the wrong number, but it would be weird now. He already continued the conversation.

Another text came through.

LMAO I can’t believe Lori went after Gavin. Good lord.

Kakashi’s face broke into a grin. He knew the exact moment this person was talking about. He’d already watched the season, twice, despite it being released on Netflix yesterday.

God. This puts my students drama to shame, which is rather impressive. Speaking of, Naruto ‘accidentally’ kissed Sasuke today, and Sakura ran out of the classroom crying.

Kakashi answered without thinking.

How do you accidentally kiss someone?

You don’t? That was his wording when I asked him what all the fuss was about. Guess he’s not ready to admit he kissed a boy on purpose. I’ll tell you about tomorrow. What time did you want to meet at Blackberry Cafe?

Oh god. Kakashi had a terrible idea.

10? He typed out.

Can we make it 11? I’ll probably be up all night watching this bullshit.

—-

Kakashi was sitting at a table in the corner of the patio, inspecting the customers. It was 11:15. So far he’d narrowed it down to three people. One was a woman, who had just answered her phone, which immediately eliminated her. The speech pattern didn’t match. That left two men who were sitting alone. If Kakashi was being honest with himself he was hoping it was the cute one with the ponytail—

—who had just glanced at his watch, sighed, and pulled a stack of papers out of his messenger bag, along with a red pen.

..watching Icha Icha instead of grading exams…

Bingo.

Kakashi got up and walked over, standing in front of the empty chair across from the teacher.

“Uh, hi.”

“Hi?” the man replied, giving him a small smile as he wrinkled his face in confusion.

Kakashi’s heart skipped. Fuck.

“Is this seat taken?”  

The smile grew a little bigger. A blush coloring his cheeks.

“Actually, it is. I’m waiting for someone.”

Kakashi thought he saw the slightest bit of disappointment flicker across the man’s face. It was enough to encourage him forward with his ridiculous plan.

“I think that someone is me.”

The man put down his pen, giving Kakashi his full attention.

“Clever, I’ll give you that. But I know that it’s not.”

“No, really. It’s me.”

The man scratched at the scar the cut across his nose and over his cheeks, his irritation apparent.

“I’m flattered by your effort, but pushy persistence isn’t attractive to me.”

Oh boy. Well. He’d already come this far…

“I’m not being pushy. It was me you were texting last night.”

The man narrowed his eyes. Kakashi tried not to wince under his glare. It was formidable.

“What?”

Kakashi pulled out the chair and sat down, as the man nearly squawked with disapproval.

“My friend wrote his number on a piece of paper. There was one number that could have been a 4 or a 9 and I guess I got it wrong.” Kakashi said, matter of fact.

He watched as the man face contorted through several reactions.

“Are you insane?” he hissed.

Well, maybe, but…

“Not clinically. I’m not a serial killer or anything, if that’s what you’re asking.”

The man widened his eyes.

“Ok, sorry, that was a stupid thing to say, considering.”

“Try idiotic.”  

Kakashi bristled.

“Well, what about you? My number can’t have been in your phone, yet you spoke like you knew me.”

“I just got a new phone yesterday! None of my contacts transferred. I thought you were Izu—my friend. The number looked vaguely familiar I—this is fucking absurd. Why the hell would you come to meet me?”

“You seemed interesting.” Kakashi shrugged.

“After a ten minute text conversation?” he asked, incredulous.

Kakashi rattled off other reasons in his head. How he’d had a terrible fucking night. How he couldn’t sleep because he was plagued by painful nightmares. How he was seconds away from taking enough anti-depressants to knock him the fuck out for a few hours, when their texts had distracted him enough to forget about it completely.

“I was having a bad night and you made me laugh,” he settled on saying.

The man scoffed, yet there was a softness in his eyes.

“How can I trust you? It’s not like someone can vouch for you—“

“IRUKA!”

Gai was mid-stride to their table, before he froze.

“K..kakashi!? You two know each other?!”

“You two know each other?!” Kakashi countered.

“Iruka’s my newest protégée! We just started training a few weeks ago,”—Gai’s eyes lit up—“Why have I not thought of this before?! This is absolutely perfect! What incredible genius set you two up?!”

“Uh, actually, you did, Gai. I misread the number you gave me and well,” Kakashi spanned his hands out in front of him to say here we are.

“What luck! How beautiful! It was meant to be. I’ll leave you two alone,” Gai said, quickly making himself scarce.

“You know Gai,” Iruka deadpanned, both eyebrows raised, as he leaned back in his chair with his arms crossed over his chest.

“He’s my best friend.” A smile crept across Kakashi’s face. “How’s that for vouching for me?”

[wintersxsoul]

Come Back To Me

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 3.7k

Warnings: Angst, memoy loss, mentions of torture.

A/N: This was highly inspired in the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice, but I hanged the ending a bit. Thank you to my beautiful beta reader @all1e23 for putting up with my bullshit since I started writing this piece. Italic paragraphs are memories/flashbacks.

Before you, all Bucky Barnes knew was darkness, pain, a hollow chest with a broken beating heart. You appeared like flowers bloom in Spring, taking away the remnants of Winter, giving color and life to a grey world. He thought it would be impossible for someone like him to even talk to someone like you, but as always, fate had its own plans.

There were a few Hydra bases left but The Avengers needed help to locate them since the only clue they had was written in Ancient Greek. Natasha knew Latin but after a few days trying to translate, they knew they would need a professional.

That’s how you ended up in a meeting room with The Avengers. You were one of the best translators in the world, you knew more than 15 languages, written and spoken, you had four Ph.D. in History, Mythology, Literature and Art. After a few months working for them they eliminated almost all Hydra bases. You had to leave New York to do a Mythology seminar in London for two weeks, so you forgot about everything about the team and focused on your work.

In the four months you stayed with The Avengers, Bucky Barnes struggled with his feelings towards you because he had fallen in love hard and fast, so when he heard that you would be gone, his heart shattered. You both were oblivious to the feelings you had for the other, making it a bit harder for you two to communicate.

“Steve, I can’t go. I just can’t.” Bucky told his best friend, who just assigned him to go on a little trip to London. Steve sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Listen, Buck. You are the only one on the team available, so I’m sorry, but it’s vital for you to go.”

So that’s how he ended up in one of your conferences, sitting at the back of the room, taking in all the information you were throwing at the audience. The passion and professionalism with which you spoke had his heart beating rapidly on his chest. Your whole face lit up when you saw his large figure and his blue eyes watching you, your knees almost failing you when you paced around the stage. You paused the talk for a 10 minute break and honestly, to gather yourself. Bucky almost ran down the stairs to meet you, engulfing you in a tight hug, his scent filling all your senses.

“Not that I am not happy to see you but, what are you doing here?” You tilted your head and placed a strand of hair behind your ear nervously. He smiled sweetly and explained that they needed you once more for a top secret mission he didn’t even know about.

“As much as I would love to help, I have to attend two more conferences in the following days, so I can’t go today.”

“Uhm, I...I checked your schedule and informed the team. So I’ll be staying around until you are done, if that’s okay.” You really tried not to show any kind of excitement but failed miserably. Your heart fluttered at the thought of Bucky attending your talks and after decades doing this, you felt nervous.

Bucky thought it was impossible to fall in love with you even more, but he was wrong. You started explaining the myth of Eros and Psyche, your eyes never leaving his. If your Oratory teacher saw you right now, she would be kicking you for being so unprofessional, but you really couldn’t care less.

The myth of Eros and Psyche is probably one of the best love stories in classical mythology. Eros, son of Aphrodite, was the personification of intense love desire and he was depicted throwing arrows to people in order to hit their heart and make them fall in love. Psyche, a beautiful maiden, personifies the human soul. In fact, she is the symbol of the soul purified by passions and misfortunes and who is, from now on, prepared to enjoy eternal happiness. In the love story of Eros (Cupid in Latin) and Psyche (meaning "soul" in Greek), we can see the perseverance of a man even when he is possessed by passion and the effort of a woman to overcome many obstacles in order to achieve the happiness of love.

Bucky’s eyes gleamed under the dim light of the room, and you accidentally smiled at him. He moved to the front rows so he could be closer to you, so know the whole audience knew you were probably ignoring them and just spoke to that single person you were smiling to.

When you finished explaining the whole myth, you saw a few hands rising to ask questions, and you felt pride bubble in your chest because that meant they were interested and not bored to death.

“So how did Psyche lived forever?”

“Well, Zeus decided to give her the Ambrosia, the food of the gods, so she could be immortal.”

After answering a few more questions, you saw a shy gloved hand and you shivered, not expecting him to participate at all.

“I would like to ask what this myth actually represents and what it means to you, ma’am.” Your shaky hands grabbed the glass of water that sat on the small table and drank a bit to ease your nerves. You cleared your throat and smiled.

“The interpretation I gave was the true connection of the soul and love. Eros and Psyche are the proof that everyone has a soul and is capable of love, even the darkest soul.”

Everyone started clapping when you finished, your smile only growing wider when Bucky looked at you like you hung the stars and the moon.

-

“You can’t tell me what this secret mission is about?” You heard Bucky sigh loudly when you approached the table he was sitting at, waiting for you. He had asked you out to have dinner and since you were staying at the same hotel, you thought it would be a good idea.

“Okay, punk. Whatever, I gotta go.” He hung up and smiled at you, his eyes roaming your figure. You were wearing your favorite dress, the soft golden silk hugging your curves amazingly. You sat rapidly, tripping on the chair and almost falling. You giggled nervously and Bucky just smiled at you, his nerves eating him alive.

“Is the dress too much?” Bucky shook his head rapidly and cleared his throat, running his flesh hand through his hair.

“No, you look beautiful.” You smiled shyly and he added “I mean, you always look beautiful, but now...there are no words to describe how you look.”

You spent the whole evening exchanging information about the other, asking questions back and forth. He asked about your childhood, the pressure of being a prodigy child and being the daughter of a genius, the lack of a normal teenage life since you entered college at 13, the disastrous first and only relationship and travelling around the world alone. Bucky shared the bits he remembered of his childhood, his academic records, war and his time being the Winter Soldier. You, of course, were dying to interview him for professional purposes since you were currently working on a book about the ending of WW2 and the Cold War.

At the end of the night, he kissed you at the door of your room and before he could turn to leave, you pushed him in your room, kissing him like it was your last day on this world.

He caressed your naked skin slowly, taking his time exploring every inch of your body, kissing and worshipping you like the goddess he believed you were. You kissed him as adoringly in return, running your hands all over body, feeling every muscle and scar, loving every inch of what Bucky Barnes was.

You were stroking his hair softly, his head pressed on your chest, your heartbeat soothing all his doubts and in a moment of pure bliss and realization, he said those three words.

“I adore you.” Your fingers froze and your breath hitched, a deep warmth spreading all over you.

“Y/n?” You realized you’d been silent for far too long so his heart started beating rapidly, the thought of you rejecting him starting to cloud his mind.

“I love you.” You said softly and he turned to face you, his expression full of love and adoration just for you. He kissed you and made love to you again, the feeling of your bodies together was like a drug to him and you were more than happy to give it to him, surrendering completely to him and him to you.

When you both got back to New York, Bucky discovered that there was no mission. Steve plotted with the whole team for you two to stop with your mutual pining and realize your feelings, his smug face pissing Bucky off.

“I told you a long ago to tell her, Barnes.” Nat added, rolling her eyes and elbowing him jokingly. You just smiled at your friends and thanked them, because without them none of that would’ve happened.

-

Everything was dark and cold, the thick leather straps that held your body tight to the metal chair making your skin raw. Your head was spinning, the immense pain you were feeling was blocking all the physical pain your wounds were causing. What did they do to you?

You were unconscious most of the time, but you knew they were doing something, changing something in your body, in your mind. Your loud screams numbed all the voices surrounding you but you still caught glimpses of conversations in Russian.

“He will come to get her, our mole knows how much she means to the Soldat.”

“It’s been a week already, and we haven’t heard nothing. What if she is the wrong woman?”

“It can’t be, I saw them together while following the Asset, it’s her.”

You tried to move or speak, but all it came out of your mouth was a low whine. You tried to open your eyes, your heavy lids making it hard. Everything hurt, stung, your skin felt like it had been burnt over and over again.

“Is she ready?” A thick voice asked loudly and you felt deeply terrified. Ready for what? What have they done to you?

“Well, unstrap her and prep her, he won’t take much longer.” You wanted to scream, to run, to try to fight your way out, but you couldn’t move.

“Tony, we need to find Y/N. Bucky is going insane and I’m afraid I won’t be able to hold him back much longer.” Steve found your location that exact morning, after a week of your disappearance. Apparently, you were in one of Hydra’s last bases in Siberia, one that was unknown for everyone, even for Bucky. Tony just nodded and looked at the files.

“Gear up, we’re getting our girl back.”

But it was too late, Bucky hacked the database, something Tony would be pissed off about, and got the location before Steve could even talk to him. He knew it was reckless to leave on his own, but he just couldn’t wait any longer to get you, to save you from Hydra’s claws.

Bucky Barnes was himself, but he also was the Winter Soldier, all that violence and cold blood was in him still, would always be. He was ready to enter hell for you, even if that meant never getting back home.

The morning light was bathing his room, hitting your skin and making it glow. You were smiling at him tiredly, your eyes full of adoration for him. Bucky leaned in to press his forehead to yours, chuckling lightly when you licked the tip of his nose. He narrowed his eyes jokingly and you started squealing when he pressed his hands in the most ticklish spots on your body.

Breathlessly, you sat down, still laughing and managed to speak.

“I hate you.” You pressed your hand to your belly trying to ease your laughter. Bucky tilted his head, a huge grin plastered on his face.

“You know, you were never a good liar.” You pressed your hand to your chest and looked at him, fakingly offended. He shook his head chuckling and kissed you, pressing your body to the mattress.

You jolted awake, drenched in sweat and dust, the memory making your whole body tremble, silent tears streaming down your face. You scanned the room you were at, and realized you weren’t strapped to that metal chair. Everything was awfully quiet and there was no one around. You stood up but your legs failed you, making you hit the stone cold floor, scraping your knees and palms. You reached for the makeshift bed and help yourself to stand up and once you gathered enough strength to walk, you got out of the room you were at.

Bucky was beating the last Hydra agent alive, trying to get any kind of information out of him. He laughed maniacally and spit blood to the floor.

“Hydra needed someone like her, but she was too damn stubborn to cooperate. So we fixed her.” A metal fist hit his stomach, probably breaking some organ. The agent coughed blood but kept talking.

“If we can’t have either of you, you won’t either.” Bucky could feel his bile rising at the thought of what you’d suffered while he was failing at rescuing you earlier.

“What did you do to her?” The agent smiled, clearly in pain.

“Nothing that cannot be reversed. All we need is for you to control yourself, to be compliant.” Bucky pressed his metal hand in his neck and squeezed hard enough to hurt him but not to kill him. Not yet. He pressed his body to the closest wall and held the agent against it.

“Tell me what you did to her.” Bucky muttered, the blinding rage surging throughout all his pores.

“You remember your shut down word, soldat?” Sputnik. That was the word they used when they needed to shut him down before cryo. Bucky nodded and squeezed a little tighter.

“Well, we implanted that on her, but the effects being worse.” Bucky’s eyes widened, knowing the way to implant something like that deep in your mind.

Before Bucky could say something, the agent spoke again.

“We thought it was too cruel even for us, so you have 24 hours to keep her safe forever. But if you say the trigger words before the time’s up, she will be gone for good.” He smirked wickedly and Bucky squeezed harder, until he heard the neck break.

24 hours. He had 24 hours left.

“Come on, say it.” Bucky shook his head, too afraid to say those three meaningful words. You smiled at him but deep down it hurt you, it hurt that he couldn’t say them.

“You know I do, why do you need to hear me say it?”

“Because it becomes real for me.”

“I can’t say them, not yet.” Bucky’s expression fell but you just shrugged and added a “whatever” with a smile, trying to convince him that you were fine with it.

“Whenever you are ready, I will be here waiting for you to say it.” You kissed him, smiling into the kiss, feeling his tears mixing with your lips.

You heard screams and a familiar voice, so you ran like hell, your body working on its own, your mind racing with thoughts of you and Bucky. You were close to him, you could feel it in your bones, and when you entered the training room, there he was.

Bucky’s eyes widened, taking you in. You were okay. He sighed relieved and moved towards you while you did the same, meeting him in the middle. You gasped when your arms finally touched his body, the sensation of finally being safe and home wrapping you. He pressed his lips to yours in a chaste kiss, needing to check it was really you.

He held your hand and lead you to the Quinjet, you were finally going home.

“Buck?” Your mouth suddenly let out, and you frowned because you had nothing to say. He hummed, waiting for you to continue.

“I love you.” You started to cry uncontrollably, the sobbs getting louder and louder. Bucky pressed the autopilot button and moved to where you were, kneeling in front of you. He placed a strand of hair behind your ear and smiled at you sweetly, all his worries finally leaving him. You were safe, nothing had happened. It was all probably a bluff.

“I adore you.” He told you and you frowned again, because you felt like something was controlling you, was controlling your thoughts and words.

“Say it. I need you to say it, please.” You begged him, crying. He loved you, he had always known that, but he needed time to admit that to himself before being able to tell you. After everything that happened, he knew he was ready, and seeing you so heartbroken made him brave.

“I love you, Y/n.” He pressed his hand to your cheek, caressing it with his thumb. Something inside you clicked, and you smiled at him. You leaned in to kiss him, the tears already gone.

“I love you, Buck. I love you.” You laid down on the seats and closed your eyes, sighing contently. He finally said it.

“I’m very tired, please wake me when we arrive.” You opened an eye to look at him and after him nodding and kissing your temple, you closed your eyes, the tiredness taking over your body.

As soon as Bucky landed the jet, he glanced at your sleeping form and smiled, you were finally home and safe. Everyone was waiting for you to arrive at the hangar, impatiently and some of them even pissed. Bucky made a reckless move that could’ve endangered the two of you, but he knew he would succeed, just for the sake of your safety.

Bucky kneeled in front of you and stroked your head lightly, whispering softly for you to wake up, but when you didn’t even move, he started freaking out.

“We gave to subject Z10 strong doses of Apomorphine enough to kill a healthy adult, electroshock therapy for hours and we’ve succeeded to implant trigger words, stronger than the ones implanted in our first subject, The Winter Soldier.”

“Subject Z10 will be compromised as soon as the trigger words reach her hippocampus, blocking the NEK7 protein, forgetting all that is strongly attached to said words. Subject will never be able to recover those memories, but effects can be reversed if there’s no usage of the words implanted in the following 24 hours.”

“Y/n?” You slowly opened your eyes and Bucky sighed relieved but as soon as he saw your eyes, he gasped. You frowned and sat up fastly, looking frantically around you.

“Who...who are you? What am I doing here?” You cried out, confused and scared. The man in front of you retreated fastly and you could see he had a metal arm. You shivered, frightened.

“Y/n, it’s me, Buck.” He said with a deep sorrow, his eyes shining with unshed tears. You snapped your head towards the door of the jet you were at, two new faces approaching you. The man was bulky and tall, blond hair and blue eyes. The woman was small but seemed strong, a redhead with fierce green eyes. They both looked familiar but you couldn’t place them.

“Buck, what’s going on?” The tall guy asked, stepping in front of Bucky so you couldn’t see him.

“Steve, She...I- I was warned but I still used the trigger words.” Bucky cried, his knees giving up, making him fall to the floor, his body collapsing to the wall. Steve kneeled and hugged Bucky, holding his head to his chest.

“Y/n, my name is Natasha. I’ll take you to our medical bay so they can run some tests, okay?” You looked at your body and you could see a few ugly bruises and you immediately looked at the man with the metal arm. Natasha shook her head, already knowing what you were thinking.

“He would never lay a hand on you, he saved you from who did that to you.” You nodded and followed her out and into the huge building.

“Buck, if you had to choose, would you prefer to lose your memory and not being able to remember me, or me dying but keeping all of our memories?” You smiled when you saw Bucky’s eyes widening, a deep frown seated on his forehead.

“I cannot choose, both of them are the worst things that could happen to me.” You giggled and held his hand, caressing his knuckles with your thumb.

“I know, but if you had to, what would you choose?”

“Forgetting you. Life has its funny ways so maybe we could find each other again. And you?” You frowned now and placed your head on his shoulder, his scent reaching your senses.

“I had my ideas clear, but after your reasoning, I don’t know.” Bucky chuckled, his whole body vibrating, making you laugh as well.

“You would prefer for me to die but remembering me, right?” You nodded, embarrassed because you didn’t reason as he did. He bumped his nose with yours and smiled, his lips brushing yours lightly, waiting for you to kiss him.

It had been weeks since you left after Shuri ran those tests. She was able to recover your memories of the team, but Bucky was totally erased from your mind. You knew who he was, but because he was Steve’s best friend and the ex-assassin, The Winter Soldier. You were a bit shaken off after you said your goodbyes, but Bucky was totally devastated.

“Y/n, I’m sorry.” A sob escaped his trembling lips, hot tears running down his cheeks. His eyes looked dead, all the light that Bucky used to be, gone. “I hope we...I hope we can find eachother again.” You frowned, not understanding what he meant, but when you felt your cheeks wet, you realized something was off, but you couldn’t place it.

“This was never meant to happen, I should’ve died. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” You didn’t know what he meant at all, but your heart was aching, the man in front of you was grieving and all you could do was frown, not remembering him at all. You approached his trembling figure and hugged him, trying to bring comfort, a basic human touch.

“Thank you for saving me, James.” And like that, you left, taking with you Bucky’s heart and soul.

“May we meet again.” He whispered, hopelessly.

[generalllimaginesss]

*I guess I’m going to start OBX imagines because why not? Seriously obsessed with them right now so here’s my first imagine! Feel free to leave any feedback!!*

He was quite the looker. The blue eyes, the abs, the best sense of humor. He was the whole package, plain and simple. The only problem was he was absolutely, and undeniably crazy, and that just wasn’t acceptable for your parents. They wanted way more for you than what the Outerbanks could offer.

JJ Maybanks was your future husband, little problem was he didn’t know that yet.

He really didn’t know much about you, other than the fact that you and Kie occasionally hung out. You didn’t fit in with the filthy rich kooks that owned 2 houses, but you didn’t fit in with the pogues because you had money to go buy a car for your 16th birthday, or even a pretty comfortable savings for college. That’s why your parents had begun to worry about your teenage obsession with the biggest pogue of all.

You and Kie had been friends for a while, but you never felt comfortable enough with her to hang out with the guys, so you never did. Until tonight.

“Y/N, you know we don’t bite. You can talk,” John B, who was sitting on the couch in his living room, said after everybody’s conversations had begun to to take 3 different directions.

He was cute too, you’d give him that, but he almost seemed too perfect. There’s always something about those kinds of guys that drive you away.

You were sitting criss crossed on the floor, leaning back in the front of the couch when everybody began to look at you. The heat to your cheeks quickly became intense.

“I know, it’s just I don’t do these things....I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, never had a boyfriend...” You rambled, suddenly realizing how boring of a life you lead.

“Well that can change as soon as you want it to, ya know, hanging with all of us involves most of these things,” JJ winked at you and smirked.

The blush that was already on your cheeks was burning and you were hoping that the dimly lit living room didn’t give away the butterflies that JJ Maybanks’ wink and voice caused. He was a perfect imperfection and little did he know that you had been practically in love with him ever since meeting Kie and the boys.

Pope grinned and piped up, “Yeah, we’re not as crazy as the Kooks make us out to be. Annoying? Mmm maybe, but we’re good people.”

“But didn’t JJ pull a gun on Topper like a week ago?” You giggled and looked across the room at the blonde headed boy. He rolled his eyes and smirked.

“Y/N, it was one time. Plus he was drowning Birdy over there and somebody has to be our getaway driver, am I right?” He laughed and ran ran his fingers through his hair to get it out of his eyes.

“Correction on all of these statements, I’m the only sane one of the group. Somebody has to keep them in check,” Kie added.

The conversations never ended and you loved it. Nobody ran out of things to say, it never got awkward, and you loved that. It felt so natural and right. It felt like the missing puzzle to your life, besides JJ being your husband but that comes in time. This felt like home.

Just as Kiara and John B began a contest of who could catch more popcorn in their mouth, your phone buzzed and got your attention.

“Curfew is 10:30, no negotiating. Dad will be up waiting,” Your mother knew just how to make a good night dreadful. You didn’t want to go because this environment was so addicting and carefree, not controlling and judgmental like your family 90% of the time.

Everybody busted out laughing suddenly when John B leaned to far back to catch a piece of popcorn and fell off the back of the couch.

“Now that’s dedication,” Pope clapped slowly and laughed.

“Sorry to cut the night short, but I have to be home in 15 minutes. Thank you guys for letting me come hang tonight. I had so much fun,” you smiled as you gathered your things and headed for the door. The room was filled with groans and various statements saying “come back soon.”

“You’re not walking by yourself are you?” Kie chimed in.

“I’m fine, it’s only a little about a mile away. Besides, wouldn’t want to drag any of you guys away to be bored by me,” you smiled.

“Nope, not gonna happen when it’s dark out. JJ, I nominate you to walk our guest home.” Kie promptly said. She knew what she was doing, and your back was turned to JJ, and facing Kie, and boy if looks could kill, you’d be picking out Kiara’s flower arrangement for her funeral.

“I mean, I’m not complaining,” JJ admitted as he jumped up from his seat and sprung to the door to open it for you.

“Such a gentleman, thank you,” you laugh softly, the butterflies in your stomach going fucking insane.

When you and JJ were out of earshot, the other pogues began the bet.

“I give it about a week, that’s how long I think until I wake up and JJ has a new guest in his bed,” John B smirked.

“Nah man, she’s too innocent for him. Maybe by the end of the summer, and that’s if she isn’t scared away by him.” Pope shook his head and grinned.

“I say they spend a few months trying to hide it behind our backs and then we’ll catch them doing something gross,” Kie said as she shifted her weight on the couch. She shipped you both hard. What are friends for if they don’t help their friends get the girl or the guy?

Meanwhile, you and JJ had began the walk, silent for the most part, and about an arm’s length away from each other. It was awkward to you, but he seemed to not mind. Every once in a while you slowly cut your eyes in his direction to get a look at his cuteness.

“You know....if you took a picture it’d probably last longer than the few seconds you keep cutting your eyes at me,” his smirk practically seeped through his voice while your heart began to beat rapidly.

“I, uh, I’m sorry. Thanks for walking me home, though. You seem like a pretty cool guy,” you tried to change the subject as quickly as possible.

“I’d like to think I am. Everybody has skeletons in the closet though. Some a little more big and scary than others. How come you haven’t hung out with us until now?” He looked towards you, slowly inching closer.

“I just feel like I don’t fit in anywhere, ya know. I feel like I’m too boring and stiff to hang out with the pogues, but the Kooks are so snobby and self-absorbed that I can’t possibly be happy with them. So, I’m stuck with just me, I guess,” You fiddled your thumbs while he took in every last word that came from your mouth.

“I like you. You’re awkward and quirky, not gonna lie, but you seem willing to go off the deep end for a little fun. You have potential,” he winked and nudged you, causing you to smile and look at the ground.

After about 10 minutes, you arrived at your house. The white two story house was illuminated by the yellow glow of the porch lights. You could see your father’s silhouette through the white curtains and you immediately regretted letting JJ walk you home.

“Well this is it. Thank you for the company, I enjoyed it,” You walked up the front porch steps, voice lower than ever, praying that your dad didn’t hear you yet.

“I like your company. I like it a lot actually. Say we meet at the dock tomorrow? 10 a.m? I’ll have a good day planned,” JJ’s heart sped up a little and he wanted to drink in the sight of you for however long he possibly could.

“I’d have to ask my parents, but I’d love to,” You smiled and placed your hand on the doorknob.

“Great. Loved getting to know the quirky side of you tonight. Maybe we could spend more time together....you know the Pogues and all. We had fun,” He knew he couldn’t stall much longer but he was magnetically drawn.

“Yeah, maybe. Thanks again!” You finally twisted the doorknob and walked inside. Sure enough your father was sitting in his recliner, snoring and about to drop a cigarette that had been burning far too long. So much for him staying up for you.

You couldn’t help but think of everything that JJ had said to you. He seemed like a very genuine guy. You wanted to be near him all the time because he’s hot and he made you feel stable, like the deck of the boat in between waves. He was the one for you.

Now to just convince the parents to let you spend time with him....this should be fun.

Hey guys! Thanks so much for reading my first imagine :)) hope you all like it!! Should I do a Part 2?

[katieamazeballs]

DWTS Tour recap!

Hey y’all! Here’s my (ever entertaining) tour recap! First of all, we are so grateful to this beautiful lady for giving us tickets for Christmas and coming with us. She was a little reluctant to go considering we told her we’d be leaving the house at 3 and returning God only knows when. But she wanted pics with the pros to brag to her Zumba friends. Imma say our experience delivered. She can’t wait to go next year!

After killing time with endless Jenga battles, we left at 3 to head downtown.

(Y’all should be impressed)

We got downtown, parked, and walked to the bus in hopes we’d see someone. Low and behold......

Abs Boo Thang was exiting the bus at that moment! He was in a rush but came over for a pic and a quick chat. She asked him if he remembered her from last year and he was like “Oh, yeah, of course!” (Bwahahaha). In typical fangirl Katie fashion....I totally forgot to give him his note 🤦🏻‍♀️ or get a pic with him. I’m so bad at this 😂. Abs asked where Wit was right as Carson was getting off the bus. Alan walked over and told him to go get Wit as they were walking into the venue. We stood there and the security lady came over and told us we couldn’t stand there so we left to do a lap of the venue. When we walked to the other side of the bus, we saw a couple way in the distance walking and my mom said “That could be Val and Jenna!” We watched for a second and I saw that mother truckin fanny pack strapped across the man’s chest and I was like “Holy crap it is!!!!” So we walked towards them hoping they’d turn down that sidewalk and not go towards the back of the venue. We leaned against a wall and “got busy on our phones” and put Abs on “see if they come this way” duty. She goes “Um....they are and Val just waved at me!” So we waited till they got closer and turned to wait. They stopped and Val said hello to us and Abs latched herself onto Jenna. My mom told them they were a beautiful couple and asked for a picture

I took one with Val while Abs latched herself back onto Jenna.

I asked him to sign my book and he laughed when I told him I carried that damned thing through MVP and forgot to ask him then

While he was signing, I got a pic with this gorgeous love

Then Abs latched herself onto Val. I went to take a pic and got this absolute gem

Abs is a little salty that she didn’t get one with Val alone but it worked out because somehow the one of her and Jen didn’t take (I think because he asked me a question and I turned to talk to him). We chatted a minute and I completely forgot to ask the questions I had planned (as big of a game as I talk...I’m a total blubbering idiot in front of them). Jen was surprised to see his book without the jacket because she hadn’t seen it naked before. My mom told her it was because I didn’t want it to get messed up in my purse and Val was like “that’s damn smart!” They left and I hollered “Oh my God come back! I have notes for you! I’m such a terrible fangirl in person”. Jenna laughed and Val told me I held it together better than most.

After that encounter we went back to the bus. The security lady chased us off again so we did a lap. My mom was saying she really hoped to meet Sasha and Emma. Abs wanted to meet Ruby. We stopped by the buses again and out walked the Farber family! My mother’s jaw hit the dirt! She went all blubbery fan girl and threw her phone in my direction for a picture

Abs asked if she could pet Ruby and they told her she could, if Ruby let her, because she has some anxiety issues. She was successful and says she is so soft.

Abs wanted a pic with Sasha AND Ruby so....

Abs then started talking to Emma.  She asked her if she remembered her from last year.  Emma also replied “Oh, sure I do”.  Abbie said “I still don’t know why I cried, I think I was overwhelmed”.  Emma’s lightbulb turned on and she got all excited “Oh my goodness!  I DO remember you!  We met over there!  Your mum took a video!”  This is the moment my love for Emma exploded.  She was already a fave, then we met last year and she was so sweet, then she somehow actually remembered us and holy crap y’all! 

(Y’all take note of that lady back there in the red jacket.  Homegirl was more and more pissed at every pic that we took. Jacksonville security hates me and my fangirl self)

 Since Big Bad Security Lady was real deal pissed off after Abs petted Rubes, we decided it was best to take another lap.  When we came back, Carson was standing there.  He is ADORABLE in person.  Like HOLY CRAP!  I asked him if I could take a picture.  He looked behind him then looked back at me and said “Me?”  I said, “Yep!”.  He lit up and was like “No one ever wants a picture with me!  Heck yeah, I’ll take a picture!”  Abs asked him to tell Wit she said hi and I gave him her note (because I finally got my shit together).

(Wit better look out.  Imma swoop in on her man)

The world’s friendliest security lady was eyeing us again so another lap was made.  When we came back, my mom decided she was “old and needed to check her phone” so we leaned up against a tree in direct defiance of the security nazi.  Out popped this beautiful man.  Holy Crap, y’all.  He is flippin gorgeous in person.  I mean like WHOA!  He laughed when I tried to take a picture because he’s real deal tall and I’m real deal short. He grabbed my phone and took the pics for us.  Ha! Words can not describe the beauty that is Gleb in person.  My mom kept saying how handsome he is. 

Right when Gleb left, this adorable human came out.  My mother’s face says it all.  He is just precious!  So kind, so baby faced, so very precious.

At this point, Meet and Greet had started so we wandered around to go see if we could tell who was inside because we still hadn’t found Joe, Artem, Hayley, Britt, or Wit.  I went around back while my mom and Abs held that tree up, which made the security lady’s day.  I saw Wit and Artem inside mingling so I knew we were pretty out of luck and went to collect the lurkers to go grab dinner.  My mom wanted to sit and watch M&G for a bit and all of us were in absolute awe of the beauty of Wit while she and Artem were happily selfieing (yeah, I made that a verb, deal with it) with the fans.  My mom couldn’t get over how the people in there paid that much money for tickets and we had met more than half the cast on our own terms. We went back out front for one more glance before dinner and somehow Artem was at the bus.  I was waving my squad over while I gave him his card and asked for a picture and he was reeeaaaallll skeptical.  He said “It depends, how many people are over there”. I said “Just me” as I am frantically waiving.  He cut his eyes at me and said “Are you suuuuuuure?”  I told him it was just my mom and daughter (as they finally moseyed over there) and he laughed and told me the guard was oddly insistent about them not talking to the fans at the bus for some reason and she was scary. 

Y’all….here’s where I show you a zoom in of Attila the Hun (from the background of our Esha encounter)…..who is not even a little impressed with the fact that we were at this show.  Artem was scared of her, my mother….not even a little.   

 We went and had some pizza, got our souveniers (including a mug for Bestie that I SWEAR Imma mail tomorrow), and went to the show.  Y’all….the show is AMAZING!  I liked it a lot more than last year!  The dances were amazing, the dialogue was hysterical.  My mom’s favorite part was Emma’s Elvis dance and the couple segment. Abs favorite dance was “The One Where Alan Is Shirtless”….so pretty much all of it.  My favorite was the flag dance.  I had seen clips of the drool worthy dance and of Sasha running out at the end.  What I hadn’t seen was that he runs out and in approx 5 times as the guys look at him like he’s insane.  He finally comes out with some tiny yard marking stake flag and starts waving it frantically, whacking Val with it.  I about peed myself!

 After the show, we went out to the buses and met up with Abs’ friend and her mom. We chit chatted and the actual DWTS Security guy came out.  He told us that the curfew was 10 (it was about 9:15) and that when he came and told us no one else was coming, we had to leave because the buses had to roll out right at 10.  He told us to respect the “very secure, military grade bike racks that were provided to us and no pushing or shoving.  A (very nice) arena security guy lamented the fact that no one ever wants to take a picture of him....then cracked up when I said “Oh, but I do!” and I did.

Joe came out and went directly on the bus, Alan came out and mingled (and cut me out of our selfie….brat),

Sasha came out and mingled for a loooooong time.  He made sure everyone got to talk to him and take their pictures.  He was great this tour! 

Most of the pros came out and went straight to the bus due to time.   At one point someone yelled “Hi Carson!”  The girl next to her said “That’s his last name, you idiot!” so she then yelled “Well, Hi Mr Witney!”  He chuckled and waved and went on the bus.  Abbie goes “Their last name is McAllister” and we all died laughing because it was hysterical.  Jenna came out and got some stuff out of the bus and that’s when I heard her say to someone on the staff “Actually, Val and I are…..” and now we know they went to Jersey. Witney came out to mingle and Abs lost her collective fan girl shit.  She absolutely LOVES Witney.  My mom couldn’t get over how stunningly beautiful Wit is in person and without makeup.  She is absolutely gorgeous.

When Wit came over to us Abs was in tears and Wit asked her name.  She told her Abbie and Wit said “Oh!  Carson told me you said hello!  I read your note!”  Abs’ friend’s mom managed to catch it all in pics and it’s adorable. 

After Wit, Britt came out but only got to about half the crowd (not us.....sigh).  Emma came out and security told her she couldn’t see anyone so she gave the crowd an air hug and told us she loved us and thanked us all for coming out as security was ushering Britt out and onto the bus.  As we were walking to the cars, Abs and her friend were catching up on some middle school gossip and her mom and I were exchanging tour stories. I brought up a picture of Shai’s hat and she was like OMG!  You’re on tumblr!  I still haven’t decided if I’m embarrassed or flattered, but this is gonna be so much fun!  Y’all…..she’s my kindred Valenna believer.  @edsy914

 All in all it was an amazing night that capped off a pretty damn epic weekend.  We got to meet everyone but Joe, Hayley, and Britt.  We all can’t wait to go next year!

[shipmistress9]

FTLOAP: Chapter 15: I’m Waking Up To Ash And Dust

Fandom: HTTYD

Theme: Hiccstrid - Medieval-style AU - Romance - Angst/Hurt/Comfort

Summary: Reduced to little more than a stable boy, Hiccup, despite his noble birth, has few prospects for more in life. But when he meets a girl who came to look at the horses, being a stable boy might not be enough anymore. Together, they have tough choices to make and great risks to navigate if they want to survive and be together.

Rating: Explicit

FF-net  -  AO3

Prologue; Chapter 1; Chapter 2; Chapter 3; Chapter 4; Chapter 5; Chapter 6; Chapter 7; Chapter 8; Chapter 9; Chapter 10; Chapter 11; Chapter 12; Chapter 13; Chapter 14; Interlude 1

Alpha/Co-author: @athingofvikings

. – * – _ . o O o . _ – * – .

AN: Heh... some I could fool with the nightmare, others I couldn't. Just as I'd hoped/expected. But on to other events now. This chapter once again got split, but I think it contains enough anyway.

This chapter's title comes from Radioactive by Imagine Dragons. I thought it fitted quite nicely.

. o O o .

Hiccup woke with a start.

With his heart hammering in his chest as if he’d just run for miles, he practically threw himself out of his nest of blankets and landed in a crouch. Instinctively, he reached for a knife he kept nearby, a habit courtesy of his years on the road, and let his eyes wander around through the dark interior of the empty stall. But he couldn’t determine what had woken him.

All he knew was that something was off.

With an uneasy feeling, he got up and looked around. The silvery moonlight pouring through the gaps in the window shutters told him it was the middle of the night, and even the horses weren’t really awake yet. Anxiously, he made a round through the stalls, and then another one outside, but he couldn’t find anything out of the ordinary. Maybe it had just been another animal that had woken him, some mice, maybe, or a raven on the roof.

But none of that could explain the trepidation he felt like a tight ring around his chest.

Bewildered, he lay back down onto his makeshift bed amidst the straw bales in the spare stall and tried to go back to sleep – but found that he couldn’t. No matter how hard he tried to distract himself, to calm his thoughts and his body as he’d learned to, he couldn’t sleep anymore. All he could do was stare at the dark ceiling, unable to calm his rapidly beating heart or to contain the uneasiness that churned in his guts.

Something was wrong, and he couldn’t shake off the feeling that it had something to do with Astrid. The tension seemed to radiate from that piece of her soul in his heart, tearing at him. But that realisation didn’t serve to ease his anxiety. Not at all.

What was happening to her?

Too restless to lie still, much less go back to sleep, he stepped outside into the cool night air to clear his head. Without intending to, his eyes wandered toward the castle in the distance where it stood up on the hill. Only a few of the lower windows were dimly lit with the soft glow of candles, probably from some scribes at work or some servants on early duties. There were no signs of further activity, no additional rooms lit or guards running around with torches. Nothing that would indicate something had happened up there.

Chewing his lip, Hiccup contemplated simply walking straight up to the castle to look for her. Even though nothing seemed to have happened, he still felt like something was wrong with her. And whatever it was that was causing this distress, he wanted to help make it better. He wanted to hold her, to comfort her, and to be there for her.

But he knew that it wouldn’t do him any good to approach the guards. He couldn’t simply go there and demand entry to the Princess’s chambers. At best, they would laugh at him, but getting arrested was far more likely. Either way, he definitely wouldn’t be let through to see her.

He almost went anyway. Staying away, waiting and not knowing while his heart wouldn't stop pounding… That was simply impossible.

But before he could actually do something as stupid as risking his freedom or maybe even his life, the anxiety eased to a bearable degree, and his logical mind took over again.

He couldn’t go looking for her. Every day, she reminded him that he mustn’t risk anything, and he had no intentions of doing so anyway. Being with her was too important to him. She was his own personal sun, filling his former cold and empty life with light and warmth. The mere thought of a life without her made despair claw at him, made it hard to breathe sometimes.

No, he wouldn’t do anything that posed a threat to the life awaiting them. Especially not after they’d almost gotten caught yesterday. Hiccup still wasn’t sure what to make of Eret’s rather obvious lack of reaction. He’d at least expected some comment, maybe a reprimand or a reminder to be more thoughtful around the Princess. Not that he would have needed such a reminder after his heart had dropped to his knees upon almost getting caught...

With a sigh, Hiccup rubbed his chest and forced himself to be patient. In a few hours, she and her brothers would come here as they did every day. Then, he would learn what had happened. If anything had happened...

He could wait that long.

. o O o .

Waiting was driving him insane!

Waking up early had Hiccup done with his usual morning chores in record time and left him with far too much free time to ponder. During the hours from early to late morning, his uneasiness grew constantly, and even doing some routine maintenance of the small tack room couldn’t distract him for long. Something was wrong, and he knew it. By now, it wasn’t even the intense anxiety which had woken him anymore, just a dull throbbing in the back of his mind, but no matter how hard he tried to distract himself it wouldn’t go away. And it made calming down impossible.

Waiting for Astrid and the others to arrive was bordering on torture, especially as the usual hour of their arrival came and went without any news reaching him. Instead, another jolt of anxiety hit him, and even though it was over quickly, it hit him hard and unexpectedly.

Hiccup had been in Markor’s stall, mechanically petting the gelding just to have something to do, when it had happened. His chest tightened, making his breath leave him in an audible gasp, and his heart began to race without apparent reason. Panting, he clung to Markor’s side, glad over the big horse’s presence, as he surely would have fallen without his support. The whole incident couldn’t have lasted longer than a few seconds, but to Hiccup, it felt endless as he stared unseeingly to the ground. When the sensation finally ebbed away, he straightened only slowly and, running a hand through his hair, tried to comprehend.

What had happened? Was she hurt? Sick? Injured? Should he go looking for her after all? Growling like a trapped animal, he clenched his hands into fists to keep them from trembling. So far having to hide their relationship from everyone had been bearable, nothing but a necessary nuisance. But right now, not being able to go looking for her felt oppressive. He just had to know.

Hiccup was a nervous wreck when finally the familiar voices of Daniel and Eret approached. He let out a deep and relieved sigh before hastily composing himself. Pretending to be busy in Markor’s stall, he waited eagerly for the door to open, to see her again, to get the confirmation that she was all right. She had to be all right...

But when the door opened and three figures stepped inside before it closed again, it was almost impossible for him to keep his composure. Behind Daniel and Eret, the vaguely familiar figure of Lord Dagur of House Berserker entered the stables – and no one else.

Hiccup’s face drained of all blood, and he had to hide behind the big horse for a few moments. What in Loki’s forsaken name had happened that would keep her away from the stables? Once again, his thoughts were running wild, and he barely registered the tired “Afternoon”s from Eret and Daniel.

“Good afternoon, Milords,” he replied belatedly and forced more vigour into his voice than he really felt. “And the same to you, Lord Dagur.”

The red-head with the peculiar tattoos across his left eye gave him a puzzled look before a small smile spread across his tired face. “Hi there, Hiccup. Good to see you again.” He looked tired, exhausted even. But considering that he’d spent the last few days on a ship, tacking and rowing up the Volantis River to reach the castle, that wasn’t really surprising.

Hiccup slightly bowed his head in response, but then quickly turned toward the other men, not having the patience for this conversation now. He longed to ask after Astrid, but didn’t dare to risk being too obvious. Searching for a way to inconspicuously bring up her absence, he got distracted by how down the men looked.

Eret, but Daniel especially, looked even more tired than Dagur, and that was without the excuse of a long journey. But, no, they didn’t look tired, not exclusively at least. They looked worn out, mentally as much as physically. There were gloomy expressions on their usually excitable faces, and the way they moved spoke of severe exhaustion.

Biting his lip, Hiccup pondered his options for a minute, but then settled for inconspicuously stating the obvious. “You’re late today,” he said, putting a light tone into his voice. It was something reasonable to say, wasn’t it? Something a friend could ask, right? Not something that directly hinted at what concerned him most – Astrid and her absence – but just some friendly small talk instead. That was allowed, right? Gods, he couldn’t even think straight anymore...

At first, he thought he wouldn’t get an answer, as all three men visibly tensed. It made Hiccup tense too, because, surely, whatever bothered these men couldn’t mean anything good, regardless of whether it was about their sister or not.

Eret was the first to leave their frozen state. He inhaled deeply before raising his head to meet Hiccup’s eyes, a disturbingly unsettled expression on his usually unperturbed face. “Yes. Something came up. Something–” he broke off, shaking his head as if to get rid of the memory.

“Did...did something happen?” Hiccup asked, barely able to keep calm anymore. Gods, what was it that he’d missed?

This time, it was Daniel who answered. “Yes, it did. I...” he took a deep breath and raised his head to look at Hiccup with weirdly empty eyes. “I sentenced Dagur’s squire to death. He was executed this morning.”

At first, these words served to somewhat calm Hiccup. Nothing had happened to Astrid, just someone breaking a law. But that sense of security didn’t last long.

“He wasn’t my squire,” Dagur corrected bitterly. “He should have become, but… Damn, I’m so sorry! I never should have brought him here. And just... Damn!” Angrily, he slammed his fist against the nearest wall – which happened to be Markor’s stall. Skittish as the gelding sometimes was, he made a scared step to the side – where Hiccup was standing. One hoove grazed on his left foot, and Hiccup was barely able to keep the pained groan inside.

“Oh, shit, sorry!” Dagur stepped away from the stall, hands raised in a placating gesture and guilt written all over his face. Apprehensively, he watched as Eret joined Hiccup inside the stall.

Stabilizing him with one arm, Eret laid the free hand on Markor’s flank to calm the gelding. “Are you hurt?” he asked, worried, and helped Hiccup to sit on one of the straw bales nearby.

Hiccup just slowly shook his head though. “No,” he mumbled, his strained voice giving away the lie. “He just grazed me but didn’t break anything. I’ll have a nice bruise, but that’s all. I bet I won’t even notice it anymore in a few minutes.”

Eret nodded, concerned, but before he could say something else, Dagur spoke again. “I’m so sorry, Hiccup. Gods, why am I even here? I should have stayed in Southshore, then none of this would have happened, and Astrid–”

“That wasn’t your fault,” Eret interjected firmly and Daniel nodded, grim expressions on both their faces.

Hiccup sat where Eret had left him, too stunned to move. His foot hurt, but the pain was weirdly surreal, not important. No, what really concerned him, what clouded his mind and made forming any coherent thoughts impossible was what Dagur had said.

“Astrid…”

Her name was nothing but a weak sigh on Hiccup’s lips, inaudible for any of the other men. But even if he’d been louder, he couldn’t have cared less as everything started to make sense. He wasn’t closely familiar with every rule and law in the capitol, but he at least knew of one law that could lead to a man’s immediate execution. One crime a young man could commit and directly be punished for, even though he’d only arrived at the capitol a few hours prior.

And Astrid wasn’t here.

“The Princess,” he brought forth, louder this time and more composed than he felt, but still noticeably shaken. “Is she… all right?” That was another reasonable question… wasn’t it? Daniel had accepted that he’d become her friend, after all. On tenterhooks, Hiccup waited for a confirmation, for a smile and a nod, a reassurance that she was all right, that his soulmate was unharmed.

But instead, Daniel pressed his lips into a thin line and shook his head. “No, she’s not,” he proclaimed hoarsely.

Hiccup felt as if someone had pulled the rug out from under him, and was incredibly glad that he wasn’t standing.

“That boy, he... he assaulted her. And…” the Prince trailed off, clearly struggling with his words.

Hiccup could have interrupted him, could have claimed that he didn’t need details, that his friend didn’t need to explain further. But that would have been a lie. Anxiously, he waited for Daniel to continue, to hear what he had to hear.

“And this morning at the execution… She was so calm, almost composed even, until… until she just… broke down. And then she refused to leave her rooms at all again, and…” He shrugged and helplessly shook his head. “I never should have let it come this far,” he blurted out after a pause, more lively now, angry. “I should have convinced Father to let her stay in her rooms directly: I knew she didn’t want to watch. Hel, I should have stopped that boy the first time, I should have–” he broke off as Eret laid a hand on his shoulder.

“There’s nothing you could have done differently,” Eret said despondently. “Not defying your father, and not ignoring her plea. No, if anyone is to blame, then that’s me. If that slime Thuggory hadn’t pulled that stunt with the serving girl to distract us all, to distract me, Harold would never have been able to slip into that alcove, and…” He took a deep steadying breath. “But our Swanja is a fighter, remember? She’s tough, tougher than anyone I know. And she wouldn’t want us to writhe in guilt. She’ll come around, and we’ll be here to support her.”

“You don’t understand,” Daniel said quietly, empty eyes cast to the ground. “I haven’t seen her like this in months, not since… And I vowed to her that I wouldn’t let anything like that happen ever again. I swore that I would protect her.”

Hiccup just sat, unmoving, and listened. The words made little sense, but they started to paint a picture. One he didn’t like at all.

Eret and Dagur shared a troubled look. “You can’t protect her from everything,” Eret said slowly. “Besides, you weren’t the only one there. Dagur could have sent him away before already. And I shouldn’t have let the boy slip past me. If you go that road, we’re all to blame.”

But Daniel shook his head. “But she’s my sister. I’m responsible for her. How can I leave next week, when she’s–”

“Bullshit,” Dagur interrupted him sternly. “She’s all our sister, remember? We’re all responsible for her, always have been and always will be. We’ll keep our eyes on her, care for her as long as necessary. Just like we always did. Don’t you worry.”

Daniel’s gaze wandered from Dagur’s determined face to Eret’s which had a similar expression. Then he nodded, lips stretching into a weak smile. “You’re right… Thanks. Really. And I’m sorry. I know you care for her too,” he took a deep breath and then added, sighing, “Besides, I couldn’t cancel that trip anyway; Uncle Spite would impersonate Surtr if I delayed those repairs.”

Both men snorted in agreement and let the topic drop; instead, they turned their attention to the horses, clearly to distract themselves.

Still sitting on the bale, Hiccup’s eyes were glued to the ground, his hands clenching into the straw as his thought ran riot. What had happened? What in Odin’s many names had happened to her?

Cursing himself, he closed his eyes. He should have been there. By all means, he should have been at that reception, should have accompanied Eret. He could have kept an eye on her too. Whatever had happened, he should have prevented it. She was his soulmate, more important to him than his own life. He should have been with her.

. o O o .

The following hours stretched out endlessly.

Hiccup didn’t dare to ask after Astrid again, what exactly had happened, how she’d looked or what she’d said. The other men seemed happy not to talk about the incident for a while, and bringing it up would only raise suspicion. Eret’s occasional worried glances were disturbing enough.

Instead, they all focused on the horses, something calming to occupy their minds and to keep their thoughts from wandering. Or that had been the idea, assumably.

As he’d expected, Hiccup’s foot didn’t bother him much anymore a few minutes later, and after Dagur had gotten reacquainted with Squish, they all decided to go on a ride. But with Dagur not being that much of an experienced rider and Daniel riding Chomp for a change as Hiccup hadn’t gotten the chance to fix Trample’s bridle yet, it was only a slow ride, barely more than a stroll on horseback. Definitely nothing that needed his avid attention, and the fact that Hiccup was riding Markor to avoid Chomp getting territorial over Cassie didn’t help him to focus either.

Without even a minute’s break, Hiccup’s thoughts constantly circled around Astrid. What exactly had happened at the reception? How was she? Had she really been ‘calm’ at that execution, as Daniel had said? Or had she been hiding behind that mask of composure he’d seen so often during the last weeks? He knew by now that Astrid had a profound aversion against what she called ‘pointless deaths’, but would she regard the death of someone who’d attacked her as pointless? Why had she broken down?  

Once they were back at the stables, Hiccup tried to force his mind to focus on his surroundings again. He was supposed to show Dagur the subtleties of tending to the Jag’r-horses, starting with Markor before they continued with Squish. But being in this stall after a ride wasn’t exactly helping his concentration, the whole setting too closely linked to Astrid to think about anything but her. More out of reflex than anything else he worked on the gelding, cooing and murmuring as he took off the bridle and saddle while Dagur stood to the side and watched.

“You weren’t kidding, eh?” Dagur asked, throwing Hiccup a funny look with one eyebrow raised. “You actually sing to these horses to calm them? I always thought Eret was joking.”

Despite his troubled mind, Hiccup’s lips twitched into a small smile. “Yes, it’s an effective way to let them distinguish between friend and enemy. Sure, they learn quickly who their rider is and not to attack him. But look at it from my perspective. I’m glad to be able to let Chomp over there know I’m just a groom and not a horse thief.”

Dagur chuckled at the dry comment, but quickly sobered up again. “But you’re not really a groom, right? I heard you made your decision.”

Hiccup looked up, startled, but of course, Dagur knew more about his situation than most others. “Yes, I did,” he confirmed, his eyes returning to Markor’s glossy hide beneath his brush. “Being a squire is the better choice. I’m not sure the simple life as one of Grand Duke Eret’s stable masters or as a craftsman somewhere else would be enough for me.”

It was a blatant lie. Hiccup would have loved to live such a simple life without any trouble or danger, just peacefully living from day to day, so long as Astrid was at his side. But that dream, initiated by the vision he’d seen all those weeks ago, would always stay a dream. All he could hope for was gaining a title for himself, distinguishing himself enough to be given a barony or maybe even a county as reward for his deeds. Chances for that were slim, he knew that. But with the Gods’ blessing, he was confident to reach this goal. Eventually…

But of course, he couldn’t exactly say so.

“We are what we are, I guess,” Dagur nodded. “But it must be weird to act all deferential when in public. I don’t think I could do that convincingly.”

At that, Daniel’s low chuckling was audible from where he brushed down Chomp, and a moment later, Eret’s amused voice sounded toward them. “I have no doubts that it would be difficult for you to act deferential, Dagur,” he snorted. “But believe me, that’s not true for everyone. I only wish he’d just act that way in public. Or just act at all.”

Hiccup could practically feel Dagur’s puzzled look on his back. “But you’re still–”

“I’m Sir Eret’s squire,” Hiccup interrupted him, sternly continuing with his work. “That is who I am now. Pretending to be anything else would be foolish.”

“I see,” Dagur said after a short and weighty pause. “But don’t you dare to go all Sir on me after my accolade. It will be weird enough when others do so on formal occasions, I don’t need that in my free time, too. I’ve heard you fit in here quite nicely, let’s keep it that way.”

Hiccup, suppressing a humorous smirk, turned toward Dagur and bowed deeply. “As you wish, Milord.”

Dagur groaned exasperatedly, followed by Daniel’s and Eret’s rough laughter, and for a short moment, everyone’s mood lightened.

“But tell me,” Dagur went on a minute later. “If you’re so devoted to your new position, why weren’t you at the reception last night? Shouldn’t you ‘support your master’, or something? I had a nice talk with some of the local counts around here who commented about how Eret regularly not bringing his squire is seen as a disgrace.”

Hiccup, who’d returned to work on Markor, paused in his movement and dug his head. He’d known that staying away from social events could harm Eret’s standing… But hearing it said like this made it worse, even though neither of the other men seemed to care all that much.

“And what were they saying about me?” Daniel snorted, sounding more bored than irked. “I mean, obviously, I’m not bringing my squire either. Am I a disgrace too? An embarrassment to all those of noble blood? I wonder if they see the irony, as none of their families were noble before two generations ago...”

“Actually, they were quick to excuse Mike’s absence–”

“Milburn,” came Daniel’s automatic interjection.

“–as he’s still in Westhill. Because, of course, they would never dare to insult their Prince. Eret though? They know his squire is within reach. They’ve seen him regularly, only not to any official events. Although, to be honest I doubt they really mind his absence. I mean, we know these people would never leave out a chance to discredit someone they see as an obstacle on their way to power.” Hiccup wasn’t sure what Dagur meant by that, but didn’t get the chance to even think about it as the redhead continued without a pause, now talking to him again. “But that leads back to my question. Knowing you lot I’m sure there is a reason. So… yeah… why weren’t you there?”

“Because we all agreed that it would be better that way,” came suddenly Eret’s calm voice from the stall’s gate, answering in Hiccup’s place. “It might not be likely, but it’s always possible that someone might recognise him, which would do none of us any favours right now. Besides, you know damn well that I don’t give a shit on what those highborn noblemen think of me. Am I a disgrace for not regularly sending my servants on unnecessary errands? Maybe. But if that’s customary then I enjoy being eccentric.”

Hiccup gave his cousin a tight smile, but then turned back toward the horse again, effectively hiding his face as worries clouded his mind. Was his reluctance to accompany Eret on those social events causing him trouble? Hiccup didn’t want to attend to those meetings. Not necessarily because he feared getting recognised, but he always felt like that wasn’t his place anymore. But maybe he should change his habit on this point. Causing Eret trouble just to avoid being around noblemen was selfish, and it surely didn’t help to distinguish himself either.

There was another reason to stay away, however, a more personal one. Acting deferential, as Dagur had called it, was incredibly hard when it was Astrid he was interacting with. Every part of him yearned to always make her smile or laugh, to make her happy. But doing so while playing his role as hardly more than a servant was nigh on impossible, and showing how he was more than that always risked raising dangerous questions. So they’d both tried to avoid meeting in public.

But what if... What if he’d been at that reception last night? Could he have prevented whatever it had been that had happened? He wouldn’t have let Astrid out of his sight at any rate, maybe he even could have interfered, could have kept her safe. At the very least, he would know what had happened. Still being ignorant was constantly nagging at him, and the friendly small talk just now, distracting as it had been, hadn’t been enough to keep his thoughts from circling around her for long.

What had happened? How was she? The same questions kept circling in his mind over and over, and they were driving him insane. He needed answers but knew he couldn’t simply ask for them. No, if he wanted answers then he would need to find them himself. He had to find her! But how? How could he excuse seeing her, looking for her, when she wouldn’t come here? He couldn’t even go up to the castle without raising suspicions, for Odin’s sake.

Or maybe, he could. Maybe, today was just the right day to provide him with a suitable excuse.

Glancing at the angle of the sunlight pouring in through one of the windows, he affected a frown. “Don’t you need to go back soon?” he asked, puzzled by how relaxed and unhurried the men seemed to be. “It’s getting late, and don’t you need to prepare for someone’s accolade?” Dagur’s accolade was the perfect excuse. It was an important enough event that suddenly accompanying Eret after all wouldn’t raise any suspicions… right? But apparently, luck wasn’t on his side today.

“Ah, no, we don’t,” Eret said, just as Dagur gave a theatrical sigh.

“My big day – ruined because some idiots insisted on being idiots,” he whined, and leaned back against the wooden wall, sulking. At first it almost seemed funny, but there was more to his demeanour than exaggeration and humour. There as a bitterness in his voice, and Hiccup remembered how the Berserker heir was prone to overact to hide his real emotions.

“So… the accolade was cancelled?” Hiccup asked hesitantly, curious despite himself. There wasn’t much the heir to a grand dukedom could do to be denied the honour of being knighted – and he was fairly sure that Dagur had done none of that.

“No, not cancelled; just pushed back a few days,” Daniel explained, having joined Eret in the open gate to the stall. He was rubbing his temple, expression grim, and Hiccup realised his question had brought back the darker mood from before.

“Holding Dagur’s accolade on the same day as his squire’s execution seemed like a bad idea already,” Eret explained, eyes cast into the distance. “But then the boy’s father acted up, and…”

“And now, we have to hold a trial to determine whether Count Ravenledge is a traitor to the Crown,” Daniel continued through clenched teeth. “Executing a rapist is no fun, but it’s a… a simple trial. His traditional upbringing in combination with arrogance and utter stupidity led to his death, and there was no doubt about his guilt – especially after he admitted to Fyrir Gothi to have gone after other girls in his county already. The trial for his father will be much more difficult.”

“You think? I mean he attacked Dagur, and there were plenty of people around who witnessed it all. Dagur has it even memorised by now, right...?” Eret said leadingly.

Pushing himself off the wall again, Dagur nodded. “Right. He came running toward me as they led Harold up the dais, shouting how I had to do something, because the boy was ‘supposed to become my squire’,” he snorted, and threw his arms up in exasperation – and came without resistance as Eret pulled him out of the stall, away from the skittish horse. “And when I explained to him that his son had actively tried to commit high treason and that he should be glad not to be going to the Tree as well, he just yelled at me. Told me that the boy was his son. As if that excused everything. I didn’t even get to mention the former rapes he confessed during the night. I mean, those alone would have been enough to punish him. If only–” he broke off, averting his face, and Hiccup noticed how his hands were balled into angry fists again.

“Hey, you didn’t know,” Daniel said in a voice that held too many emotions at once... but he also seemed to be hiding something else.

Eret, who still had his hand on his friend’s shoulder, squeezed him reassuringly. “You said it yourself, choosing him to become your squire was purely a political decision. You couldn’t know those rumours were true.”

Angrily, Dagur shook his head. “They sounded so much like the lies people tell everywhere about their rivals to discredit them. And the timing was just too perfect, right before Father and I made the final decision. As if someone purposefully wanted to bring me up against him. So I didn’t believe… But I should have. I should have known!”

Hiccup stood still, not moving as he listened. Rape. So this man, this Harold had actually tried to rape Astrid. Swallowing, he stared right through his hands into nothing. If only I’d been there!, he numbly thought for the umpteenth time. If I’d been there I could have prevented this.

“And what else happened?” Eret asked after a minute of silence, clearly trying to distract them all from their depressed mood.

Dagur snorted. “He told me that I wouldn’t want to have him as an enemy just because of a bagatelle like this. A bagatelle! As if Astrid…” Dagur gritted his teeth and visibly fought to calm down. After taking several deep breaths, he continued. “I couldn’t resist to tell him the same words Father used. That, if he’s determined to act like one of the enemy then I’d treat him like one, too. I thought hearing those words would let him see just how... idiotic he behaved. Or that’s what I think I thought… But that idiot actually asked whether that was meant as a threat – as if he didn’t know damn well what happened after Father said them the first time. And then he yelled something… something about how he should have listened to His Grace – and then he attacked me. He actually drew his sword, right there in the middle of the plaza, only a few steps away from his King and Princess. I’m still not sure whether that was arrogance, stupidity, or simply a death wish.”

“And that’s where our problems begin,” Daniel commented, rubbing his temples. “If it was only grief for his son that clouded his mind then his action might be excused. But...” he hesitated, “his son confessed to other things.”

“What else?” Dagur asked, and overacting or not, Hiccup could tell that this was news to him.

Daniel shook his head. “I was originally planning on running a full investigation and then arresting him when we had ironclad proof... but now...”

Dagur scowled. “I seem to be messing up everything la–”

“Stop right there!” Eret’s voice came like a whipcrack, and they all looked at him. He was scowling at Dagur. “No, you don’t get to blame yourself for what he did. They have their own will, and their own minds, and you didn’t push them into doing anything. I get that you’re feeling guilty over what happened, but it wasn’t your fault!”

The pair of them locked gazes for a moment, Eret’s expression set... and after a few heartbeats, Dagur looked away.

“You’re right. I...”

“Don’t say you’re sorry,” Eret scolded.

Dagur pursed his lips and then burst out in bitter laughter after a moment. “That’s unfair!”

“No, what’s unfair is you grabbing more blame than you’ve earned,” Daniel said pointedly. “We all bear some culpability – for falling for Thuggory’s distraction, if nothing else – but trying to take more than that takes guilt away from the guilty men.”

“Aye, Sire,” Dagur said, mock-petulantly.  

Daniel glanced at Hiccup and rolled his eyes. “Now don’t you start. That’s Hiccup’s gimmick, and you don’t get to take that either.”

The joke, weak as it was, broke the tension, and they chuckled.  

“So... what happens now?” Hiccup asked carefully.

Daniel sighed, his smile evaporating. “We have a trial for the Count scheduled for later this evening. Between what his son confessed to and his actions this morning... he’ll be going to the noose.”

“And we had to drag him,” – he nodded toward Daniel – ”away from trying to oversee every detail of the preparations,” Eret said tightly.

Daniel clenched and released his hands. “But it has to be done right!”

“So trust the men that you gave the jobs to!” Eret fired back. “You hovering in the background like some stern dragon waiting to roast someone wasn’t going to help any!” He glanced up at Hiccup. “And that’s why we were late.”

Daniel sighed and his shoulders slumped. “And you were right to do so. I wouldn’t have been any good for the trial tonight if you hadn’t forced me here.” His shoulders tensed again. “And I have questions I want answers to.”

“‘Should have listened to His Grace’,” Dagur said darkly.

“Exactly. Was the attack on Astrid spontaneous, as Harold insisted it was? Or was he set upon her by some malefactor who saw an opening to undermine the Crown, perhaps through his father? Or something else?” Daniel slammed a fist into his other palm. “I want to know – but before I can have the Count questioned, he needs to no longer be a count. And that’s the purpose of the trial.”

“That’s one Hel of a stick...” Eret said carefully. “What’s the carrot? Since he’s going to the noose anyway?”

“If he cooperates, his eldest son Angus will inherit his title. Otherwise, he’ll remain as a knight, though downgraded to a lower rank, and the title will revert to the Crown, to be bestowed on someone else more worthy of it.” Hiccup barely kept himself from snapping his head up as Daniel scoffed and continued, “Gods know that we have enough loyal and decent men who have proven themselves to be honourable and whose home fiefs were stolen out from under them!”

Hiccup’s heart was pounding in his ears and throat as Daniel calmed and continued. “But there’s also the fact that a public trial will help restore confidence in the Crown.”

Eret scowled. “Aye. I was hearing murmurs that you were too hasty, that Harold was a ‘victim of circumstance’.” His expression roiled with anger. “Most of them didn’t see what had happened, didn’t see her. They just know that he was executed this morning after having arrived last night and his father is seen as a grieving victim whose largest holding was burned less than a month ago.”

Daniel inhaled deeply and then let it out slowly. “Yes, he has his pity-supporters, for now. But he won’t by tomorrow.”

“So, what’s the plan? What can we do to help?” Dagur asked.

After that, Daniel and the others laid out a plan for the trial later, but Hiccup had no desire to engage in that conversation. Their voices were tense, the whole topic surely important, but the way they discussed telling everybody what had happened to Astrid, maybe even letting her testify herself to underline the severity of Harold’s crime, was too sober for Hiccup to bear right now. Instead, he limped over to Squish’s stall, fighting to ignore the pain – in his foot and in his twinging leg alike – and methodically began working on the stallion; humming and cooing to calm the beast, taking off bridle and saddle, brushing out the yellowish fur – everything to keep himself from going crazy. He understood why the trial was important and respected Daniel, the future King, for being level-headed enough, for concentrating on the outcome. But he himself couldn’t do that.

All he could think about was Astrid. Absentmindedly, he stared out of the open front gate of the stables, at the dusty place outside lit by the pale sunlight. Oh, how he wished she would suddenly appear in the door, framed by a halo of light in her golden hair. She would smile that beautiful smile of hers, make some funny remark about how he worried too much. She would give him one of her playful punches to chase away his troubled thoughts, and reassure him that she was okay. But of course, that wouldn’t happen.

Sighing, he rubbed that spot on his chest, feeling oddly closer to her by doing so. Eret might be right, she was strong and surely would be back up eventually. But that didn’t change the fact that she’d broken down earlier. That she’d locked herself in her rooms. That she hadn’t even come here.

No, she wasn’t okay.

And all he wanted was to be there for her.

Letting out a heavy breath, he concentrated on that divine connection between them, hoping to get any sense of how she felt. But that wasn’t how it worked; he still had no idea what these weird jolts of something he’d felt earlier had been. All he knew was that he missed her terribly, and the prospect of not seeing her today at all was almost too much to bear.

“Hey, you all right?”

Hiccup looked up as Eret’s words brought him back to the now. His cousin looked curious and concerned, eyes on where his hand still rested over his heart.

No, I’m not ‘all right’, a part of him wanted to scream. How could he be all right when the other half of his soul so obviously wasn’t? When she was alone, and he couldn’t be with her, and… and...

But maybe he could. He just had to try. Letting his hand linger to draw courage, he made a snap decision.

“Sure. I just…” he paused, nervously licking his lips, and then added, “I was just thinking. If you want to build a strong front against this Count Ravenledge you’ll need every bit of support you can get, right?” Eret nodded, so he went on, “Then I’ll come with you to this trial.”

 . o O o .

Okay, so I hope this answered the question regarding Hiccup and what he was doing... And I also hope Daniel could be redeemed, as he didn't get away well in the interlude... 

Likes, reblogs, and comments always welcome :)

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[bleucheesy]

Reunion

Shklance Gym AU (Modern AU) Drabble 20 Obligatory tags: @puppybek, @starchildkeith, and @francowitch Parts 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 Link to Master Post - Also available on AO3.

Technically contains S5 spoilers?

For once, Lance was glad Thursdays were his heavy days. He had his part time job in the morning, coursework all day, and then two classes to lead in the evening.

Now, normally, he dreaded those long hours because it meant less time with his boyfriends, whom he loved dearly.

However, as of late…

Keith was driving him insane!

It’s not like it was completely his fault. After all, it wasn’t every day you got to meet your birth mother for the first time since you were in diapers. But the way Keith was running around, trying to tidy up and clean and make the place look suitable for her visit, well, it was getting on Lance’s nerves.

He loved Keith. Shiro, too. They were so good to Lance and they meant the world to him. But if Keith pulled out every one of their dishes again and demanded they all be washed – for a third time – Lance was going to stick him in a wormhole.

(for mobile, continue reading here)

He did take into account the fact that she was supposed to show up some time this week – no specific date or time – which was definitely exacerbating the situation. Lance was pretty sure he was using that word right.

So, getting out of the apartment for a solid sixteen hours or so sounded really good.

Of course, after being away from him all day and having one Zumba class-worth of endorphins running through his system, Lance realized that he couldn’t blame Keith. Lance had grown up with his family. He couldn’t imagine what it was like to not know your mother. And that made him feel a little guilty for ditching him. And leaving poor Shiro to fend for himself.

So, Lance decided that, as soon as his last class was over, he’d quickly shower and head straight home. Well, maybe not straight home. He should probably pick something up on the way. He doubted that Keith had eaten anything all day – unless Shiro had forced him.

He was lost in thought when Lance nearly ran into a tall woman walking past the welcome desk. “Excuse me,” he said and then blinked when he looked up at her. She was beautiful! He put on his coolest smile and leaned an elbow on the counter. “You new around here?” he asked, voice dipping a little lower.

Before anyone jumped to conclusions, Lance would never, ever cheat on his boyfriends. But part of his job as an instructor at the gym was to get more clients to sign on. And one way to do that was by advertising what they had to offer.

“Only just arrived tonight,” she replied. “My hotel is down the street and I thought I’d give this place a look.”

Ah. They sometimes got salary men and women in town on business or for a conference. Still, he could sell her a few classes while she was in the area.

“You look like someone who enjoys dancing, am I right?” he asked, running a hand through his still slightly damp bangs. “Ever taken a stab at Zumba?”

She quirked a brow and crossed her arms over her chest. “Can’t say that I have.”

“Oh!” Lance’s eyes lit up. “Then you’ve got to try my class. I’ve actually got one starting in about fifteen minutes,” he paused, gesturing toward the room down the hall. “If you’re interested.”

“Tempting,” she chuckled. “But I’m afraid I’m finished for the evening.”

It was then that Lance noticed the longer strands of hair under her short cut sticking to the nape of her neck. What an unusual hairstyle.

She cocked her head to the side and the motion looked so familiar that Lance was momentarily dazed. “And I’ve got somewhere to be.”

“Well,” Lance let the rejection roll off him like water off a duck’s back. “Maybe next time?” He reached for his pocket, but remembered he was wearing leggings. “I don’t have any cards on me, but I’m sure you’ll remember this face, right?”

She snorted and then smirked and Lance couldn’t help but feel a weird sense of déjà vu. “I’m sure I will, um…?”

“Lance,” he finished for her, holding out his hand.

She took it and gave it a curt shake. “Lia,” she replied. “Well, it was a pleasure to meet you, Lance.” And again, something about her seemed so familiar…

“Believe me.” He flashed another toothy grin and then winked. “The pleasure’s all mine.”

She laughed again and shook her head as she left. But Lance was used to that kind of response. Especially from slightly older women. They were flattered by his business-flirting – the official name, by the way – and they always came back for his class.

Heck, he’d recruited at least two-thirds of the female gym members over the age of thirty.

It was a gift, really.

But he didn’t have time to congratulate himself. He had a class to teach.

 After he was finished and saw the last of his regulars out the door, Lance jogged over to the showers. He’d definitely spent enough time out of the apartment and, in an attempt at a peaceful offering – goodness knows what pains Shiro had suffered today. Keith, too – Lance continued with his original plan of picking up some takeout on the way.

Nothing soothed the savage beast like greasy lo mein and potstickers.

But just as he stepped out of the restaurant, the bell over the door jingling and the delicious aroma of their dinner filling his nostrils, his phone buzzed in his pocket. He’d almost forgotten that he’d left it on vibrate.

There were three messages from Shiro. He quickly swiped to unlock his phone and read them.

Looks like Keith’s mom is in town.

She’s heading over around eight.

She’s here.

Lance checked the time. It was just a little after eight. He hated that he wasn’t there for Keith to support him. But he wasn’t too far away. He could make it to the apartment in ten minutes, if he ran.

And so, seven and a half minutes later – a new personal record – Lance was wiping the sweat from his brow and attempting to get his breathing under control as he stood outside their apartment door, the Chinese food still in hand.

Once he felt he was presentable enough – first impressions were everything, after all – he took out his keys and unlocked the door.

He wasn’t sure what he was expecting when he walked inside. Maybe Keith and his mom sharing an emotional moment, hugging and crying for their lost time together. Or maybe Shiro holding Keith back as he shouted at her for leaving him all those years ago.

No, wait. That was definitely too dramatic. And Keith was a gentleman – when it mattered – and had been nervously and anxiously awaiting meeting his mom. He wouldn’t explode on her.

Right?

So, when Lance entered the living room and saw Keith and Shiro on the couch, the latter with his hand on the small of Keith’s back for emotional support, he was relieved. Though he did note the way Shiro had to put his other hand on Keith’s knee to keep it from bouncing so fast and high that it surely would have hit him in the face.

Then Lance looked over to where Keith’s mother sat, across from them in the recliner, and he froze.

Wow. She looked really familiar. Those dark eyes and hair in an unusual style. Everything about her rang a bell, but he couldn’t quite place where he knew her from.

As if sensing his gaze, she turned to face him, furrowing her brow and then blinking in surprise before smiling. “It’s nice to see you again, Lance.”

He dropped the takeout bag, his eyes going wide.

Both his boyfriends whipped their heads toward him. Shiro looked surprised, but Keith’s expression was impossible to read. And Lance knew he had to clear things up and fast. Keith was jealous under normal circumstances. But keyed up, literally-just-met-his-mother Keith might actually kill him.

“Lance, how do you-”

“Babe, wait.” He held his hands up in defense. “I can explain!”

Hmm...going for a workout to get rid of some of those reunion jitters, huh? Now, who does that sound like?

[dontshootmespence]

All For One

A/N: An anon request for a Spencer x Reader where she is pregnant and the team are competing to be the baby’s godparents. I basically did a straight up game competition, and the results might not be what you expect. @coveofmemories @sexualemobitch @jamiemelyn @unstoppableangel8 @iammostdefinitelyonfire26 @hogwarts-konoha @rmmalta @lukeassmanalvez @yoinkpeter

                                                             ----

“No way!” Garcia’s face lit up as you placed your hand gently on your stomach. Spencer’s smile was so painfully wide that Garcia knew she was right. “No way! You’re pregnant? You’re having a baby? Two of my babies are having a baby? I can’t! Oh my god! Come here!” Her heels happily clipped across the floor as she embraced you in a hug that was tighter than any you’d ever felt before. “You’re going to be such an amazing daddy!” She grabbed Spencer by the cheeks and kissed them both. “Oh my god, I’m so happy!” 

You couldn’t help but laugh at your friend’s exuberance. You knew no one would be happier about the new BAU addition than Penelope. Congratulations flew around the room. Rossi was a proud grandpa, Hotch and JJ were both immediately offering help if either of you needed advice on parenting, although most of it was just flying by the seat of your pants according to them, Emily was full of tears, embracing you both for what felt like five minutes a piece, and Morgan clapped you both gently on the back. “You’re both going to be great parents. Even you, Pretty Boy.”

“Shut up,” Spencer laughed. He was already panicking about being a dad. Last night, you were pretty sure he’d read about five parenting books. “I’m gonna be fine. I’m just going to have to make sure that this tiny child doesn’t get hurt and that their happy all the time. And they’re so small I could easily drop them but I’m going to be fine. Right?” The way he looked at you, such desperation, fear and excitement mixed within his gaze, that you started to laugh before leaning in and giving him a reassuring kiss on the cheek. 

“Spence, you’re going to be okay. No one knows what they’re doing at the start. Right JJ? Hotch?”

Both parents shook their heads. “Not a clue,” Hotch laughed. “Still don’t really. You’re going to be petrified. But you’ll be fine.”

“And I’ll always be available if you have questions,” JJ said, linking her arms through Spencer’s. 

After the initial excitement died down, the question of possible names or godparents came around. You’d been holding this secret from the team until you passed the first trimester because miscarriages were more likely to happen during that time. During those two weeks, you and your husband had discussed possible names. “We’ve settled on Allyson Diana if it’s a girl,” you said, gently rubbing your stomach, “And if it’s a boy, it’s going to be Spencer Jr.”

“Hopefully, this Spencer won’t get his ass kicked,” Spencer said. He was petrified of having a boy for that very reason, believing that if it was a boy, he’d end up having a childhood similar to his own, while if it was a girl, she would take more after you; you didn’t take crap from anyone. 

Rubbing his arm, you leaned in to his shoulder. “It’s all about how we raise them,” you assured him. “No one is going to be kicking my baby’s ass. Mama bear will go bananas.”

Spencer’s fear faded away as he looked at you, his smile widening as he imagined you being protective over your child. “What made you decide on the name Allyson?” JJ asked out of curiosity. “Obviously I understand Diana, but why Allyson?”

“Well my mom told me that when she was pregnant with me, there was a short time where she thought she was having twins, and the girl’s name she’d chosen was Allyson.” Spencer said. God, if Spencer had been a twin.

“Aw that’s so adorable,” Garcia said, bringing her hands up to her face and waving away tears. “I love that name.”

“And as for godparents, we haven’t decided yet. It’s too hard, considering we love you all.”

“Competition!” Garcia exclaimed. 

When you looked toward her, you could see the gears turning in her mind. There was practically smoke coming out of her ears. “I mean considering you love us all, there’s no way for you to narrow it down unless we have a competition. We can make a day out of it!” She started walking around the room, saying how the team could gather at Rossi’s house for a family function; there would of course be games of all kinds and whichever two won the most games would get to the new baby’s godparents. 

It sounded like a fun day, so you were all about getting together, but Spencer and yourself had already spoken at length about possible godparents. Spencer was an only child, and you had one sibling you weren’t close to. All of your friends were in the BAU, and everyone was so important to you both in different ways that it was impossible to pick. 

Your teammates loved you, and you were positive that if anything were to happen to the two of you, the entire team would come together to make sure your child grew up happy and loved. Plus, how were you supposed to know what everyone’s circumstances were going to be if something ever did happen to you and Spencer. Basically, all of them were going to be godparents. “Should we tell them?” Spencer whispered in your ear, chuckling softly as the team started bickering back and forth about who would be the best godparent.

“Nah,” you replied. “This is too much fun. Let’s watch this play out first.”

                                                            ----

Two weeks later, everything was set up at Rossi’s house. There were games galore, music, decorations (courtesy of Penelope of course) and the competitive spirit was rife in the air the second you walked into his backyard hand-in-hand with Spencer. 

Immediately, Penelope passed you a cup with what looked like alcohol in it. “PG, what is this? Baby. No booze.”

“What kind of Auntie do you think I am? That is iced tea, which I hear is good for morning sickness.” You had been sick this morning. 

Taking a long swig of your drink, you raised a glass toward your ray of sunshine. “Thank you, my love.”

“Game time! After two tries of each game, we move on to the next! Whoever wins the most gets to be godparents! I’m out for blood!” You snorted. Penelope was already an amazing godmother to Henry, she would be brilliant with this new baby. Of course, Penelope had orchestrated everything. There was a matching game (which she’d made from scratch using cardstock, stencils and spray paint), one of those beanbag games you see at kids camps, water guns (whoever ended up the driest according to you and Spencer won) and the tried and true beer pong (or in Rossi’s case, Scotch pong). 

“Baby girl,” Morgan said, as she handed the cards to Spencer to lay on the ground. “Matching games, really?”

Penelope was all about having fun, no matter how childlike she may seem. Kids had all the fun, and they deserved to have some fun with all the things they’d witnessed. “What? You afraid I’m gonna win?”

“Oh, you’re on, baby girl.”

Spencer happily laid all the tiles on the ground. There were an insane amount of them. If Spencer had been playing it would have been one thing (damn his eidetic memory), but there were so many tiles that the team found it harder than they imagined (it didn’t help that all of them had a drink in their hands). 

Two games later, Morgan had won one and Garcia had won the other. You kept score of course. Next was the beanbag toss, and two everyone’s surprise, Rossi and Hotch were absolute masters. “I believe you’ve been, as the kids say, schooled,” Rossi said smugly as he chucked a beanbag toward Emily. Now Morgan, Garcia, Hotch and Rossi each had one, and Emily and JJ had nothing. 

“Water guns next?” Emily asked. “Oh you fools are going down!”

Spencer passed out the water guns. “Watching this is fun,” he laughed, sitting down and gathering you in his lap. “So competitive. All of them.” It was truly hysterical how zealous everyone was. “Ready! Set! Go!” He screamed. Rossi’s entire backyard became a sea of screaming adults ranging anywhere from 30s to late-50s. Penelope was no secret agent. She went all out, just running out into the middle of mayhem to try and soak who she could, but she got soaked to the bone immediately. 

You’d set the timer for 10 minutes or until the water guns ran out of water, whichever came first. By the time the water was gone, JJ and Emily seemed to be the driest. “What do you think Spence? Does one of them win over the other or do they both get a point?”

“I think they both get a point, but I’m not sure,” he started walking around to check if anyone had been splattered, and then picked up the hosing, unleashing a spray that soaked everyone.

It was another 15 minutes before you moved on to beer pong. Spencer had been cornered and soaked with the hose. “You deserved that,” you laughed, kissing him as the water fell down his cheeks. “But you look adorable when you’re all wet.”

“Beer pong time!” Spencer laughed. “Everyone is tied. After two rounds, we declare the winners! Go!” 

They were laughingly bad. If you weren’t with child, you would’ve kicked their asses. The first game was handily won by Morgan, while the second didn’t go as smoothly. JJ hit the side of one of Rossi’s cups, spilling some of his precious Scotch into the ground. “Oh, JJ, I’m going to have to get you for that.” While they were bickering, Emily pulled out a win.

Emily and Morgan were the winners. 

“Well, I’m hoping everyone had fun today,” you laughed, taking in the picture of your soaking wet, drunk ass friends. “I’ve had an amazing time watching you all be idiots. But you’re a lovable, and somehow brilliant, bunch of idiots.” Looking back at Spencer, you grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the seat to reveal the “winners.”

He kissed the side of your head and wrapped his arms around you, his soaking wet jacket making your clothes wet too, but you didn’t care. This was going to be a day you’d remember for a very long time, and you’d make sure to tell your future child that their godparents loved them so much that they’d competed in a bunch of kids games to have the chance to be named godparents. “Technically, the winners are Emily and Morgan with two wins a piece, but as we said a couple of weeks ago, it’s too hard to pick who we wanted to be godparents. We know that if anything were to happen to us, all of you would step up and make sure that this baby is happy and loved.” As you scanned the room, you could see a half-drunk Penelope already tearing up. She knew what was coming. “Also, we have no idea, who is going to be able to take on the responsibility if the time ever comes, so we want all of you to be godparents.”

All of your friends raised their arms in happiness. When a family was as close as this one, singling out two people to take care of your little one seemed pointless. Why limit the love to two people? All of these wonderful people you’d come to love over the years would do what was necessary for this one very lucky baby.

[kunalkarankapoor]

The irresistible magician - Kunal Karan Kapoor

HReams and reams of articles have been written about this versatile actor  by his adoring fans. I wonder what should I add more? Making an attempt to pen down my thoughts about this actor who has swept me off my feet.  Making me a die hard fan of his.

It was in the year 2004 that I was introduced to Kunal Karan Kapoor  as  'Varun' in remix. At that time I was so besotted by a chocolate faced hero. Despite of my loyalty to that actor I  saw the spark in Kunal.  And realised he was  a good actor.  Remix wrapped up. And I forgot him.

But destiny  brought him back in my life again. This time as 'Cadet Yadhuvansh Sahni' aka 'Yudi' in the serial 'Left Right Left' aired on Sab TV. The  sole reason for me to start watching the serial was the catchy title track. And  Rajeev Khandelwal's presence. But slowly and surely   I fell in love with all the other characters. And again had a soft corner  for Kunal. Again there was a feeling that he is inordinately gifted and waiting to explode.  There have been many memorable scenes from the serial. But time and again I go back to YouTube and watch Yudi's suicide  attempt. The scene screamed for an encore and left me shaken.

Kunal's performance left me in awe.  Still get goose bumps.

After LRL I became engrossed  and busy completing my Masters. I had no time for TV.  Though Kunal had made an impact on me.. As time passed by  he kind of disappeared from my memory.

Professional commitments   took me to Chennai and Delhi respectively. I deliberately didn't have access to television. Nothing worthwhile to watch. And all the serials were depressing and regressive.

July 2011 I was back in Mumbai. I settled down in my mundane boring life. Nothing exciting. Nothing to look forward to.

December 2011 was a turning point in my life. Going through the most troubled and emotional turmoil phase on my life.  But someone up there had decided that he would be sending some one to me who would be a soothing balm to my troubled soul. And would bring back the smile, cheerfulness, happiness and zing back into my life.

Circa January 2012. I am lolling on the sofa. And there comes a trailer of a new serial 'Na Bole Tum Na Maine Kuch Kaha' that was going to turn my life upside down for ever. What caught my eye was the refreshing trailer( it didn't look like the regular run of a mill story.) The two adorable moppets caught my attention. The heroine didn't look like a overdressed Christmas tree. And there was the hero who looked like the regular boy next door.  He looked familiar. I racked my brains trying to remember why did he look so familiar and pulled my heartstrings. And then  it hit me that this is Yudi. And he was going to play the lead for the first time. And this is when my love, adoration, pagalpanti for this charismatic actor started.

NBTNMKK was on my agenda. I had made up my mind that I  was going to watch it. Come what may. Episode one.. And Mr. Kunal Karan Kapoor vroomed into my life again. This time it was an adoration that would  last for lifelong.. He was going to stay in my life for eternity. And I was to fall hopelessly  in love with Kunal Karan Kapoor/ Mohan Bhatnagar..

What do I say about his talent.  Words don't suffice. And I fall short of adjectives and expressions to praise him. You just need to watch him on screen to fall for his spell. And to be charmed by him.  To understand why he is called 'King of expressions', 'Second to none', ' an actor  in the truest sense'. Why do teens love him? Why do  working professionals go insane for him? Why are tv viewers in their 40s and 50s  completely smitten by him.?

A charming, most adorable face.. Eyes which speak thousand words.. and I am hopelessly drawn to them.. Go weak in my knees and become a gawky teenager whenever he is on screen.   Detractors can say that I am smitten only by his looks. But good looks cannot hold viewers attention for a long time. Atleast not for me and for all Kunalian's.  We were hungry to see  a quality actor and Kunal was manna from heaven to us.

Devoid of model looks, 6 pack abs .. for me he is the sexiest man on planet earth. He makes me laugh, and cry. He brings loads of happiness in my life. My day starts with him and ends with him.

An actor extraordinaire  and a humble human being.  A deadly combo. So down to earth, no starry attitude, frank opinion, vulnerable, genuine love and affection for all his fans. How many actors can claim that they genuinely care for their fans? I cannot think of any. Kunal is truly an exception. A smile of his and my day/life is lit up.

8 months have elapsed since NBTNMKK winded up. But his popularity is spiralling through the roof. Fans are increasing in thousands. And everyone is screaming for his presence back on our TV screen.  We are dead sure he will be back with a bang. With a role that will become more iconic then 'Mohan Bhatnagar'.

Just wanted to let you know Kunal that I love you a lot. You are truly special for me. I will remember you throughout my life. I want nothing but the best for you   my rockstar. May God bestow all his blessings on you. May all your desires get fulfilled. You reach the pinnacle of success. And blessed with loads of happiness.

I am content watching your pics, edits, reruns of NBT/Pratigya.  Please  come back soon. No one has been able to fill the void in my life after you taking a break. Miss you lots, Waiting for you.

Anvita Shety 

Thursday, 15 May 2014

Aditi Bhattacherjee: “its so true....kunal has this magical effect on me...his eyes, his expressions speak volumes...2 Sharmila Gupta Sen: “Absolutely...Kunal has blurred the line btwn Kunal n Mohan..they r inseparable... Thanks to Sonal Ganatra...for creating a character like Mohan... and also to Subrat Sinhaji for those mind blowing dialogues...and Kunal breathed in life to Mohan in such a way that Mohan is not a reel character any more..he's a real human being who's very very close to us... and I think...KKK is the biggest reason for NBT's Success. For 2nd Ssn..he's shouldering it almost alone..”

My 10 reasons for loving "The Kunal Karan Kapoor" : 1. The Rising : Looking back at his first role as Cadet Yaduvansh Sahni in Left Right Left, I can realize how far he has come. No doubt, he has portrayed every character with total dedication, but when I see today's Kunal - I feel he probably has had re-incarnation !! 2. Not just an actor : He defines himself as someone who dabbles at almost everything ( okay maybe, but for me you almost excel in everythng). And therefore it shows how well he 'uses' his urge to explore every side of himself. No constraints whatsoever. 3. Honesty : Give him a minute to define himself, he might just do it within seconds, or may end up saying nothing at all for minutes ! His honesty about himself is something to die for <3 4. Inspires millions : Call it a mere co-incidence or the influence of his own virtues to the role of Mohan Bhatnagar, but he has ended up being an inspiration ON-SCREEN as well as OFF-SCREEN for many many viewers. Whether Mohan influenced Kunal or Kunal influenced Mohan, its difficult to say. But whichever way it was - it TOUCHED LIVES :) 5. Make a wish! : Well, this is the message which this guy gives to me every second. I learnt it from Mohan (and ofcourse Kunal). Make a wish for yourself, and if intentions and dedication stand clean - you will definitely get it ! Such is the power of will. 6. His "Who cares" Attitude : His recognition as an actor happened very late looking at the number of roles he played before NBTNMKK. But he never cared because somewhere inside he believed in satisfying himself rather than others. He waited for the right opportunity to prove himself and here is the result - fans like me and thousand others love to write about him and capture his journey into success :) 7. Never Say Never - He might not be among those who shot to success right from the word GO! And personally speaking I was an ardent LRL viewer for a couple of months - but simply never cared to observe his role seriously. Reasons unknown. But he came back,,,back with an urge to impress me, you and who not ! 8. Dedication to work : Ok, I read that he fainted a couple of times on the sets during last days of NBT while he was ill. Well, this might not be really surprising for his fans. What inputs he gives to his role - like crying red-eyed with real emotions, shouting on top of his voice for aggressive scenes, shooting for whole day n night to complete schedules, and then finding time for interviews late in the night and interacting with fans on FB/ twitter for feedback....he does it all ! And if he can do it constantly for nine long months - then why discuss his fainting-on-the-set s occasions to prove his dedication ! 9. Student forever : He might be a teacher, an idol, an inspiration for many - but Kunal continues to be a learner forever. His every scene is one step ahead of the previous one. He strikes the chord of perfection virtually in every scene. But then again, he proves you wrong and brings up with a better stuff in the very next scene!!! 10. An Actor Arrives : I remember somebody wrote a wonderful atricle on Kunal with this same title. It described his acting self in a magical way. But for me - the journey of loving the actor in Kunal started weirdly from Detesting to Ignoring to Liking to Appreciating to Loving to Adoring like hell !!:)) During LRL, I felt that I would never see an actor in him. Well, that line still holds good - since I cant see just an actor in him. He is much more than that !! He will prove you wrong the very moment you define his limits as an actor. He is flawlessly flawless. He is indefinitely indefinite. He is THE KuNaL KaRaN KaPOoR ♥ - Written By Nidhi (an ardent fan of Na Bole Tum Na Maine Kuch Kaha ♥ ) Oct 10 2012

Yes!  Kunal Karan Kapoor is indeed the epitome of PERFECTION ! This guy is simply the best in whatever he does ! His perfection reaching new heights with each n every scene he performs...he just sparks the screen on fire n leave us all speechless.....though he never lacks behind in winning our hearts with his mindblowing performance in each scene But today he gave us one more even a much huge n special reason to go just gaga over him... I never open any threads here...only reads others' n comments sometimes....its hardly 2 threads i have opened here... n that too because KKK/MB always forces me with his brilliant performances that I just couldn't resist myself.....n today again I'm here to do the same...weaken by my heart n soul...!! KKK was at the peak of brilliance in today's episode....!!! I just get amazed n amazed... impressed n impressed...n just impressed with this guy with every passing moment.. ! Goshhh... he's totally a rockstar... a born star...a super natural STAR ! Natural expressions... Fabbb acting...Awesome dialogue delivery... Perfect use of gestures... Aaah! this man is par excellence......!!! Just too good for words ! Right from the beginning of the epi... till the end...it was him n only him that my eyes were upon... my ears just wanting to listen him... heart n soul connected to him... i was neither listening nor watching any other character/actor properly.....!! The acting of being drunken...yet so shattered...n broken... in immense pain... yet so determined to prove his love... n ultimately win his lady love...he has done it so naturally n fabulously...that i was biting my nails in the whole epi... was numb... n amazed that how can be sooo PERFECT..., like no other word can describe him...! No dictionary is good enough to provide words that can praise him to his level... he has just crossed all the limits of EXCELLENCE ! Yeh banda toh pakka humein maar ke hi chodega..*sigh*....! KKK just knows how to capture the hearts of his audience...!!  He strikes the perfect chord n knows exactly where to attack! The instant connection he makes..n the emotional quotient he shares with us... no one ever can.....!!! Its because of him... that we tolerated many stupid tracks...unnecessary MU's...n still hooked to the show... just in hope that our MOHAN BHATNAGAR's love life will shine one day ! But until... its KKK/MB whose the real saviour of the show ! The way he potrays MB's character... whether he's happy... angry... sad... intense... a loverboy image... the star reporter...or in immense pain...as we are getting to see now... we feel attached to him... He affects us the most... its he... for whom we make plenty of posts everyday... fight...love... discuss... criticize...drool... or whatever we do on this forum... KKK in MB's form... is present directly or indirectly everywhere...in every thread..in every comment...!!! This what reflects that he's just the star... no doubt.. n will always remain......!!! KKK'/MB's shining!.... n may this shine be always blessed upon us n the show ! PS : Guys..n girls... sorry for such a long post n pakao-ing you all... actually I really dont know how to write threads n stuff... but aaj bas seeing my KKK... i couldn't resist... dil ne kaha aaj jo bhi mann hai likh du... n when i was writing... toh thought came to my mind to share it with you guys too... ..since you all are my second family...my most of the day goes here only... so i gotta share my feelings n happiness with u all too...!!! Hope u dont mind! There's lot more to say n write about KKK n MB... since when it comes to him.. i couldnt stop... n go just Awe at him.... but abhi I'm still very much lost in him.... so will share more later! Love ya.. Varsha!

Hit.It.Miss: “ Kunal reminds me so much of Aamir khan with each and every expression of his. Kunal is fab, no words to describe his talent. His superb acting skills, emoting, reminds me of all  my fav actors of yesteryear, watching whom I grew up. I admire him for his acting He's ANMOL HEERA”