#it's so obvious that he said carlos at the end to avoid revealing himself

[morganaspendragonss]

Ahh! I’m so excited to see your requests open, I love your stuff!

I’m struggling with how to word this, but can I request Carlos getting injured and then trying to refuse pain meds upon discharge from the hospital- *not* because he doesn’t trust TK... but maybe more of like, an internal struggle? Like, obviously, he knows the pills can be addictive and he’s seen TK’s personal struggle and that scares him-because he knows it (addiction) can happen to anyone.

But also, bonus if TK’s feelers get a little hurt thinking Carlos doesn’t trust him 🥺🥺

(Please and thank you)

holly's august extravaganza day 5: truth is heavier than fiction

thank you for the prompt! hope you enjoy!

ao3 | 2.3k | miscommunication, referenced drug addiction and overdose (not tk), hurt/comfort

Carlos pauses with his hand on the doorknob, taking a moment to prepare himself before going inside. TK’s shift finished an hour ago and he’d texted to let Carlos know he was home, which means Carlos is going to be walking right into a conversation he’d rather avoid.

Not that he’d have much choice either way; he might be able to cover his cracked and bruised ribs for a little while, but the arm in a sling will tell on him as soon as the door opens. Carlos doesn’t want to hide his injuries—they’ve had enough conversations in reverse on that theme to make him a hypocrite if he did—but he may have made some choices that he doesn’t particularly want to go into right now. Not while he’s tired and aching and just wants to cuddle with his boyfriend.

He blows out a breath, then opens the door, bracing himself for TK’s reaction.

“Hey— Shit!”

Carlos grimaces as TK rushes over, worry written all over his features. He fusses over him, hands hovering as though afraid Carlos will shatter at his touch, and his brow is pinched in concern as he examines him—not talking, and certainly not giving Carlos the kisses he’s become accustomed to receiving upon returning home.

“Hello to you too,” he comments dryly, lifting a brow. TK scowls at him, but he does take a step back, folding his arms.

“Hi,” he says shortly. “What the hell happened? Why didn’t you call me?”

A flash of guilt runs through him at that; were the roles reversed, Carlos knows he’d be thinking the same thing. “I’m sorry for not telling you. It happened while you were still on shift and by the time I got out of the hospital, Mitchell had brought my car over from the precinct. She drove me home. I figured it would be easier to tell you in person.”

TK is clearly still not happy about it, but he does soften a little—emphasis on little. “Which brings us back to my first question: what the hell happened?”

Carlos winces. “Promise not to laugh?” he tries, aiming for a moment of levity. It falls flat, TK just tapping his foot, and he sighs. “Suspect chase gone wrong. I, uh, I tripped and fell down a staircase. I’m okay, though, I swear. They reset my shoulder at the ER and I’ve just got to take it easy for a few days.”

“And you’re sure that’s it?” TK asks skeptically. “Babe, I can tell you’re in pain, more than a dislocated shoulder would cause.”

“I might be a little bruised too.”

“How much is ‘a little’?”

“Not much.” Carlos steps forward, raising his good arm to TK’s face and ignoring the way his ribs protest the motion. “I’m okay, I promise. Can we please sit down though? I’m hurt and want hugs.”

“Oh, so you’re only hurting when you want something? I see how it is.” TK rolls his eyes, but it’s accompanied by a fond grin and he wraps his arms around Carlos, helping him to the couch. When they’re settled, TK taking more care than Carlos deems necessary but which he appreciates all the same, he drops a kiss on the top of his head, rubbing his thumb back and forth along Carlos’s arm. “I’m still annoyed at you,” he mumbles. “But I’m glad you’re okay.”

Carlos hums in agreement, tilting his head up in an obvious request for a kiss. TK acquiesces, kissing him softly, and it’s almost enough for him to forget the throbbing in his ribs.

But not quite; Carlos can’t suppress a wince when he resettles himself in TK’s lap, which immediately has his boyfriend on alert.

“Carlos?”

“I’m okay,” he grits out, breathing through his nose. “Just moved wrong.”

TK isn’t having it. “Did the hospital give you any meds? They must have done—I’ll fetch them for you.” His hands wrap around Carlos’s upper arms as if to move him, but Carlos reaches up to cover them.

“They didn’t give me anything,” he says, a half-truth at best, but TK doesn’t need to know that. “They said I’ll be fine on ibuprofen and a heat pack if it gets bad.”

TK purses his lips in obvious doubt, but he seems to take Carlos’s word for it. Which only serves to intensify the guilt, really; Carlos knows that every moment he doesn’t admit to the truth will only make things worse later, but he still can’t find it in him to get it out.

“At least let me get you those,” TK says, practically pleading. “It’ll make me feel better and, in my professional capacity as your sexy paramedic boyfriend, I say it’ll definitely make you feel better.”

Carlos laughs, then nods reluctantly. He grits his teeth to keep from crying out as TK carefully moves him to the other end of the couch, flashing him what he hopes is a reassuring smile. TK shakes his head, sighing, but doesn’t comment further, and leaves to fetch the ibuprofen and heat pack.

He’s on borrowed time; Carlos knows it. His body is going to betray him sooner or later whether he likes it or not, but, for now, he just wants to enjoy this moment of calm before the inevitable storm hits.

*

It happens as they’re getting ready for bed.

TK insists on helping him undress, and Carlos isn’t fool enough to try to refuse—he needs the help, so all he can do is wait as his shirt is slid off his body and the true extent of his injuries is revealed.

TK freezes, fingertips brushing the edges of the deep purple bruising covering Carlos’s entire chest and left side. “Carlos…” he breathes, horror and confusion mixing in his eyes. “What… You said you were okay.”

“I am—”

“No.” TK shakes his head, a sudden hardness to his expression. “This”—he waves at Carlos’s chest—“is not okay. This is the kind of bruising that comes with cracked or broken ribs. I should be dragging you to the hospital right now, but considering you’ve already been there and they didn’t give you anything, I—”

He cuts himself off, his eyes narrowing, and this—this is the moment Carlos has been dreading.

“Carlos,” he says slowly, “what aren’t you telling me? You and I both know this is more than an ‘ibuprofen and heat pack’ situation, and the hospital would know that too. Why don’t you have something for the pain?”

Carlos swallows, burning under the weight of TK’s gaze. He shifts and drops his eyes to the floor, not wanting to see the betrayal TK will feel at the truth. “They offered me some meds,” he admits quietly. “I said no.”

“Why would you— Oh.” TK takes a step back, hands falling to his sides. Carlos reaches out, but TK keeps moving away, shaking his head. “Don’t. I get it.”

“TK, no—”

“It’s fine, alright?” TK interrupts, though his face and tone say it’s absolutely not fine. “I—I really thought we were in a better place than that, but I guess I was wrong. I don’t blame you; if I were in your place, I wouldn’t trust me either.”

“I do trust you,” Carlos pleads, desperate for TK to understand. He hates the thought of the night ending on such a sour note, but he doesn’t appear to have a choice in the matter, as TK is backing up until he’s hovering in the doorway.

“Save it,” he says, suddenly sounding incredibly exhausted. “You don’t— I don’t need you to explain yourself. I just… I think I need some time. I’ll be on the couch; yell if you need me. Or text, or whatever. Just don’t hurt yourself, okay? If you still can’t trust me tomorrow then we can figure something out to help, but you really should take the meds.”

He lingers a moment longer, mouth open as if to say more, but he must decide against it as his jaw snaps shut and he nods to himself, turning and trudging downstairs. Carlos’s heart sinks as he watches him go, the guilt returning in full force. He doesn’t know how to explain to TK that it’s not about trust, but about an old, old fear, which has only recently begun to rear its ugly head again.

He desperately wants to go down to TK now, to explain himself and make him see— But that wouldn’t do any good. TK won’t listen to him in this state, and Carlos won’t be able to find the right words, and it’ll all end up being such a fucking mess.

So Carlos turns away from the door and climbs alone into bed, knowing he won’t be sleeping for more reasons than just his injuries.

*

“I should have talked to you sooner.”

TK turns at the sound of Carlos’s voice, his bloodshot eyes indicating he’d slept about as well as Carlos had last night. His face seems to soften at the sight of him—and what a sight he must make, exhausted and hunched over in pain—but it turns guarded again just as quickly, even as he gets up and helps Carlos to sit.

“You should have,” he agrees, settling himself apart from Carlos. The distance stings, but at least they’re in the same room this time; at least they have a chance to talk and fix things. “Why didn’t you?”

“I was scared.”

“Of how I would react?” TK nods. “Looks like I proved you right.”

Without thinking, Carlos reaches out and places his hand on TK’s knee, squeezing gently. “Ty— TK, no, that’s not it at all. I was scared, but not in the way you’re thinking.”

“Well then, what is it, Carlos?” TK cries, finally meeting his eyes. “Help me to understand, please.”

Carlos exhales shakily, feeling TK’s gaze on him even after he turns his own down to his hands. He absent-mindedly rubs the material of his sweats between his finger and thumb while he thinks, taking a few moments to gather his thoughts.

“Cops—we see drugs on the street all the time,” he starts slowly, biting at his lip. “I guess I’ve always been a bit uneasy about it, but two weeks ago we got called out to this building. That place is sort of infamous at the station, we’re there every other week or so, but things were different this time. It was… It was someone I knew, TK. Or, well. He’d been a detective when I was a rookie and pretty much everyone looked up to him, me included. Guy had a successful career, a wife, a baby on the way, and then one day he just…disappeared. Handed in his notice, walked away; we never saw or heard from him again.”

“Until the call,” TK breathes into the pause.

“Until the call,” Carlos confirms. “Seeing him like that, this person I’d admired so much, made me realise that this stuff can happen to anyone. It could happen to me, TK; it could.”

“Carlos…”

“And then I look at you.” Carlos takes a deep breath, looking TK dead in the eye. His boyfriend’s back has gone ramrod straight and his expression has frozen, as if bracing himself for Carlos’s next words. “I look at you and I see how strong you are, and it makes me wonder if I could ever be that strong. The fact that I don’t know the answer to that scares the shit out of me.”

TK is silent for a long time, his eyes roaming Carlos’s face in a way that makes him feel oddly bare. Then he sighs and shuffles closer, tangling his fingers in Carlos’s curls. “You are strong, Carlos. You could be strong if it ever happened to you—which it won’t, I swear to god it won’t—and you’re more than proving that right now.

“But—Carlos, listen to me—you don’t have to be. After the kidnapping, I would have given anything to take some real painkillers. Part of it was my addiction, yes, but honestly? I just wanted the pain to stop.”

Carlos winces sympathetically; he’d borne witness to TK’s long recovery, had held him and dried his tears when the pain became too much. He’d wished he could do something to help, but the only thing that would really, truly help was pain meds, and TK couldn’t take those.

“I was weak,” TK continues softly, “and it ruined my life. I don’t want that for you. I’m not going to force the issue—if you really want to keep going like this, then I’ll help and support you—but would you at least consider it, please?”

TK’s looking at him with those pleading eyes Carlos is yet to be able to refuse, but they’re not necessary. He nods slowly, smiling at the relieved look that spreads across TK’s face. “Thank you, Ty.”

“Thank you,” TK corrects, squeezing Carlos’s good hand and kissing him. “I’m sorry for going crazy on you.”

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not. I know you’re not like that. I just… Well, you wouldn’t have been the first to do something like that.” He laughs wryly. “My dad locked even the ibuprofen away for over a year after my first overdose and I don’t think any of my exes ever fully trusted me.”

Carlos frowns at that, but TK just rolls his eyes and laughs again.

“It was ages ago, babe,” he says. “Plus, my dad was right to do what he did. Finding out your son has been lying his ass off for years and almost killing himself for a high is hardly a solid basis for trust.”

Carlos hums; it’s not like he can argue that. They lapse into a comfortable silence, all the tension from last night gone, but there’s still something niggling at Carlos. He taps on the back of TK’s hand, keeping his eyes facing down. “TK?”

“Yeah?”

“If… If I ever…”

“I’ll catch you,” TK promises without hesitation. He kisses Carlos’s head, and something inside him finally settles. “I always will.”

[reyeslonestar]

I don’t want to run away anymore

Available on Ao3

Uhh hey so I wrote something? I’m as surprised as you are tbh.

Spoilers for the 2x04 promo, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending

1,376 words

It felt unbearably alien to knock on Carlos’ door instead of using his key, but nothing felt right to him right now, not since he’d suddenly become Carlos’ ‘friend’ in front of Carlos' parents with no warning and no obvious explanation. He supposed running away from the situation at the earliest opportunity probably didn’t make explanations very easy, but that was why he’d texted Carlos that they needed to talk. That was why he was here now. He needed to hear what Carlos was thinking, to know why they weren’t as in sync as he’d thought they’d been. The lock clicked in front of him, and TK watched as the door swung open to reveal Carlos’ drawn and anxious face.

“Hi,” he said, just as Carlos burst out with, “Are we breaking up?”

TK paused, stunned. “What? No, I-” he stopped again, “Unless, do you want to break up?” he asked, his heart seizing in his chest as he ducked his head to try and meet Carlos’ eyes that were firmly fixed on his feet.

“No, TK, I just- you said we needed to talk, and you knocked- I just thought-” he said, seemingly unable to finish any sentence he started as he shifted uncomfortably. TK breathed a tiny sigh of relief.

“Yeah, we need to talk, Carlos, you didn't tell your parents I was your boyfriend,” TK reminded him, moving past Carlos into the apartment and taking a seat on the stool by the couch. “I don’t think it's unreasonable to want to talk about that.”

“No, of course not,” Carlos said, closing the door with a quiet click and slowly turning to face him. TK could hardly bear to see him this cautious and uncertain, so accustomed to the confidence he always demonstrated, whether on the job or in the bedroom.

“Okay,” TK took a deep breath, “So talk to me, what’s going on? Why don't you want them to know me? Why-” His voice cracked slightly but he barrelled on, “Am I not good enough for them? For you?” He could feel tears starting to prick at his eyes but he willed them back, desperate to keep calm. This was too important for him to try and run away from. Carlos was too important.

“TK-” Carlos whispered, finally moving away from the door and towards where TK sat. “No, Ty, no, you’re amazing, I just-” he took a shuddering breath, chest heaving and TK caught his shaking hands in his own, gently drawing him down and closer to sit in the chair next to him.

“You’re amazing, Ty, and the past few months have been wonderful, but they’ve also been strange, you know that, right?” Carlos finally met his eyes and TK could see how they were filled with tears. “We didn't have the smoothest start, and I know, I know you were dealing with a lot,” he added quickly, seeing TK’s mouth open to interrupt. “I’m not trying to say anything by that, it’s not your fault, it’s just how it went, and now we’re- we’ve been doing great, right?”

TK nodded, stroking his thumbs over the backs of Carlos’ hands, absently wondering if it was to calm himself or Carlos. “But your parents- why can’t they know that?” he asked, hating how small his voice sounded.

“Ty, I didn’t know that you were ready for that.”

“I asked to meet them Carlos! And you avoided it, you just went to get more punch! I don’t- I don’t understand,” he burst out, genuinely confused, “why have you been avoiding this?”

“Because meeting my parents means a lot to them, TK, it’s not like me meeting your dad at work before I even met you. They don't meet our partners unless it’s serious; my eldest sister only brought hers home when they knew they wanted to get married.”

TK sat back a little, uncertainty washing over him. “Are we- are we not serious?” he asked, thinking back to what he’d said to Buck not so long ago. Thinking about the three little words that had been rattling around his heart for a little while now, waiting to slip out. Had he misjudged this again? Was he wrong about how Carlos felt? This had felt so different to how he’d felt with Alex, but was he still wrong? He let go of Carlos’ hands and drew them back around his own waist, wrapping himself up protectively. Carlos chased them, dropping to his knees in front of TK, shoulders stiff with tension despite the gentle grip he used on TK’s arms, eyes searching to meet his gaze.

“I’m sorry Ty, I didn’t want to scare you away; I wasn’t sure how you’d react. The last time I mentioned marriage to you, even as a joke, you couldn’t get out of here fast enough, and then when I first wanted to define us, you pushed me away. I wasn’t sure you were ready to talk about ‘serious’ and-” Carlos looked away as his breath hitched and TK watched as he sucked in a shallow breath, “I was scared, because I didn't want to lose you. I didn’t want to go too fast for you again and fuck this up beyond repair. I can’t lose you.”

Carlos fell silent and suddenly all the tension seemed to drain out of him as he rocked back to sit on his ankles. TK opened his mouth to reply, to deny it, to say of course he wouldn’t lose him, but then he closed it again. Carlos was right, he’d been inconsistent to say the least when they’d first got together and despite everything they’d been through in the last few months, they’d never really talked about how ‘serious’ they were, instead just riding the honeymoon wave. TK remembered Carlos’ comment from his dad’s party when they’d talked about his parents’ honeymoon period, ‘Those can last a while’.

“Hey Carlos,” he whispered, unravelling his arms and gently cupping Carlos’ jaw, brushing away the tears that were running down his cheeks as his beautiful eyes searched TK’s face. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you so unsure. I guess- I guess I had thought to myself that we were serious and never thought to ask you if you agreed.” He tried to smile at Carlos, feeling his earlier tears return at the sight of the worry and fear on his face, “I’m here to stay, if you’ll have me because-'' he choked slightly, throat closing with nerves, but relaxed as he felt the gentle touch of hands on his jaw, “I love you, Carlos.” He watched Carlos gasp as he said it, eyes widening in shock and then amazement.

“Tyler,” Carlos whispered, his voice shaking with awe.

TK fought through the nerves knotting in his throat to say it again, “I love you, and I don’t want to run away anymore, I want to stay right here with you.”

“Oh Tyler,” Carlos said again, a smile growing on his face. “I love you too.”

“Yeah?” TK couldn’t help but ask, the nerves slowly dissolving to give way to a giddiness that made him sway slightly.

“Yeah,” Carlos said, repeating “I love you,” before drawing him closer to press a soft kiss to his lips, resting their foreheads together as they drew apart.

“I’m sorry I hurt you,” Carlos said quietly, “I wasn’t sure and I fucked up.”

“It’s okay,” TK told him, “I understand now, and I’m sorry I made you feel that way.”

“It’s okay,” Carlos echoed, a tiny smirk on his face, “I understand now.” TK laughed slightly, more a huff of air, and pressed back in for a deeper kiss, pushing himself closer against Carlos’ body, relishing the security of his strength and warmth.

“So, does this mean I get to meet your parents properly?” he asked as Carlos trailed kisses along his jaw. Groaning slightly at the interruption, Carlos pulled back to look him in the eyes and laughed quietly.

“I’ll ring them tomorrow, see if they’d like to have dinner.” he said, his thumb gently stroking TK’s cheekbone. “Is that okay?”

“That sounds wonderful,” TK smiled, leaning back in.

“Good,” Carlos replied as he met his kiss. “Hey Ty?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

[woodchoc-magnum]

L0ne St@r 2x12 Hate Watch

DO NOT REBLOG THIS ONE - thanks, I’m trying to fly under the radar with my negative opinions here

Usual disclaimer, and I mean it this time: If you watch and love this show, that’s great and I hope you continue to enjoy it. Please don’t read this - simply go about having a lovely day.

If you do love this show and T*rlos and are braving this anyway - do not come in here. I mean it. This is not a T*rlos friendly zone. I do not ship it. Please enjoy your ship in peace and harmony. I have no intention of getting into arguments with anyone, I will simply ignore you.

I have done everything I can to avoid this showing up in the tags, whatever the LS tags are. Don’t send me hate on anon because I’ll delete them; I don’t care if you think I should stop watching the show, I’m not gonna. I like to suffer.

Eddie Diaz for calm and strength and to centre ourselves:

Hate, as always, under the cut:

Let's do this fucking thing, I've heard bad things about this episode

And I already know I'm wrong about the arsonist which is ANNOYING but maybe also too obvious so that's okay, I also know who the arsonist is and all the main plot points but I’ve still got to watch it to really appreciate the subtle nuances of the episode:

Oooh Billy

I ship it

Billwen for the win

This show is so dumb

Billy is smarter than Owen, maybe he should be the captain of the 126

I miss his lightning scars though

He's TWO HOURS LATER FOR DINNER

TK is looking as bland as always

They seriously waited for two fucking hours for this guy

Maybe should've put some deodorant on before going to dinner there Owen

You know I can't imagine the OG doing a storyline as dumb as this

So Carlos' dad thinks it's someone who works at the 126 or just a firefighter in general?

Well gosh darn it, it looks like Owen fits that profile exactly!

At least we get some Judd early in the episode and I love him

Angela Bassett is executive producer on this show as well? I hope she gets paid cash money for this

Billy is the red herring and I fell right into their trap

I just really wanted it to be him

Ooh Grace was listening

Oh it's 100% the arson investigator and Billy is 100% turning Owen in, I love him

Billy is amazing

He's my favourite character on this show

I hope he's not working with Owen to get the arson investigator? I hope he's actually this devious

I want him to be THIS DEVIOUS

Why the fuck does Owen wear that hoodie everywhere

TK is now having a little bitch fit

"they can't do that, can they?" he asks in a monotone, his face blank and devoid of expression

TK's real real dumb

Oh ho ho is this the shoving scene

IT IS

God Ronen CANNOT ACT

Okay so while I think it is wildly unbelievable that they would send TK's boyfriend to tell him that his father had been arrested by HIS father – it seems like a conflict – I would like to say that Carlos is being calm and reasonable

And TK is acting like a little BITCH

This is escalating quickly

Oh TK you so dumb

THE SHOVING

Wow

FOUR TIMES

Wow

Your fave is problematic, yo

Carlos deserves better than this whiny little piece of shit

And now, an interlude while I rant:

Let's talk about how Eddie Diaz yelled at Buck once in a supermarket and the fandom has never forgotten it; how his character has been villainised despite everything else going on in the show at the time, for that one fucking scene – let's talk about all the fics where Eddie hits Buck, or punches him, or rapes him – because you know those fics exist – let's talk about the "Eddie is violent" narrative that parts of this fandom like to push because Eddie yelled at Buck, one time, once, in a supermarket

Totally ignoring the fact that at no point at all, in any other episode he’s been in, has he been violent towards Buck, at all - let’s talk about how the street fighting arc was out of character for Eddie, because he was struggling to cope and looking for an outlet - let’s talk about how Buck and Eddie moved past that whole storyline and strengthened their relationship; how they built a family together, how they’re a team and they have each other’s backs no matter what, and how, not once in the entire show, have they ever been violent towards each other or pushed each other around in anger - NOT ONCE.

And let's talk about this scene, where TK, ya boy, ya sweet tender boy, just shoved the man he says he loved four times, violently, in front of people at the firehouse.

I betcha any money he doesn’t get tarnished with the Eddie-Diaz-is-violent brush, because he can do no wrong. He’s the fan favourite, and this is totally glossed over by the end of the episode and nothing will ever be said about it ever again.

Because wow, you guys. Wow. If this was my ship, I’d be pissed.

Back to the hate watch:

And I know that whole fight is for nothing because I know the plot twist – I know that the dads are working together in order to reveal the real arsonist, the investigator – so they've basically turned their children, who are in a relationship, against each other?

Also why is Billy allowed to be watching the interview?

Goddamn do we really have to show the gruesome burn victim photos

I really want Billy to be devious by the way, and not in on the plan

Oh here comes TK, looking like the little bitch he is

God he's a fucking awful actor

This is the dumbest plotline ever

Equating OWEN STRAND WITH THOR? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

BLASPHEMY

THOR IS THE GOD OF THUNDER

OWEN IS A DUMBASS

THE TWO ARE NOT EQUAL

Uh oh here comes the evil investigator

Do either of these men – Owen and Carlos' dad – stop to consider that what they're doing has kind of an impact on their children, who are currently in a relationship? No? Okay

Because this is one hell of an awkward situation

Does Owen genuinely think that Billy is the arsonist?

Interesting that the arson investigator wants any info Owen didn't give Carlos' dad, and he turned off the cameras/mics etc

This show is stupid

Arson investigator also knows that the sons are dating, interesting

"And you can pound sand!" oooh great comeback Owen

This episode is so BORING OMG

Why the fuck am I watching a shitty Law & Order knock-off when I should be watching a bonkers 911 episode

Oh no Judd's at Billy's

I really do think Billy Burke is good looking and it is a flaw of mine, I don't know what it is about him and he really doesn't look that good in this show but I really love Billy Burke okay

And I WANT HIM TO BE DEVIOUS

Oh Judd

Oh Judd thinks Billy is the arsonist

See this is why YOU DON'T LIE TO THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU

Oh he punched him

God damn everyone is violent in this show

Judddddddddddddd

Uh oh here comes trouble to the "vagrant's" hospital room

Oh it's the arson investigator, their little bluff worked, incredible, amazing, flawless etc

Wow how amazing

It was the ol' switcheroo

Judd punched Billy for nothing

TK and Carlos nearly came to blows for nothing

Now Owen is allowed to watch the interrogation? They'll just let anyone watch those things these days

OH MAN ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT BILLY WAS IN ON IT WITH OWEN THE WHOLE TIME?

Damn it I wanted DEVIOUS god damn it

Fucking cowards

"I assumed it was probably a trap at the hospital which is why I went there anywhere"

But why is he lighting fires

A FEW MONTHS?

A man is dead

Pure theatre

So annoyed that Billy isn't devious

But the Billwen ship sails on, clowns 🤡

Do we think the arsonist has the hots for Owen? 100% yes, right?

He's very happy to see him wink wonk

This doesn't even feel like an episode of 911, it's so goddamn dumb

"I knew you had darkness in you too" – that dude definitely wants to fuck him

Why is he lighting the fires?

They're so dumb

"And now I'm going to repay the favour" – he's talking about YOUR SONS

WHO HE KNOWS ARE TOGETHER

Wow these two dumbasses really have no fucking idea do they

OH HE'S BURNING HIMSELF ALIVE

Wow this is graphic

What the fuck is up with this show and the horribly graphic scenes lately?

That dude is dead yo

"Take away everything that's important to me" AND HE CALLS THE FIREHOUSE FIRST

THE FIREHOUSE IS THE FIRST FUCKING CALL???

Oh okay it did blow up and TK was there so I'll allow it

But hey look on the bright side – Owen gets to remodel again!

And isn't that what he's the best at?

Yo your firehouse is on fire dudes, better call the fire department

Does Judd apologise to Billy or no

Oh here we have TK and Carlos and their perfect love

And Carlos is the one apologising?

No.

Please tell me no

Carlos you are allowed to be pissed at him – ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

"nobody has to apologise?"

YOUR BOYFRIEND PUSHED YOU AROUND

Oh my god

Wow

Okay.

Look I'm just saying that to me this would be a GIGANTIC RED FLAG but wtf do I know

I'm just saying because I have to – if Carlos was a woman and TK did that? Whole different story gang

Whole completely different mother-fucking story

This show, wow

Wow.

Wow. This is bad.

Domestic violence happens to men too, just saying.

Wow I'm so annoyed that I've paused it to type furiously and rant that wow, they're just not acknowledging that TK was totally out of line? Okay. Wow.

And everyone's just fine with it?

Oh they're just figuring out that he set more than one fire

Maybe there's something else you care about other than the firehouse, Owen

Maybe?

BILLY IS THE ONE WHO FIGURES IT OUT

See this is why Billy is the best

Oh no TK and Carlos are in danger

Oh it's so romantic isn't it? They're gonna fuck now that everything is okay

Wow he left a lot of bombs in Carlos' house

Damn Carlos is hot

No smoke alarms?

That fire has really taken ahold there guys

I'm gonna assume you do have smoke alarms and he disconnected them

Wow he really covered all bases didn't he

Put the bombs in the bedroom as well

RIP Carlos' nice house

"I love you too" after I violently shoved you around today

Oh who needs a fucking fire department when you've got Owen fucking Strand right?

"Carlos" he says flatly. "How are you doing?" he asks in a monotone

"I should've had an extinguisher in the bedroom" DUDE NO ONE DOES

And if TK wanted one in there, he's the fucking firefighter, he should've checked when he moved in instead of assuming like a dumbass

God this show is dumb as fuck and I hate it so much

Billwen for the win

"just a couple of crap magnets" fucking a-men Judd

This show sucks

Oh no TOMMY OH NO

WHAT'S HAPPENING

OH MY GOD

WHAT THE FUCK

What the fuck

Is he dead?

TAKE OWEN AND TK INSTEAD

I’m going to say one more thing about this T*rlos storyline - if they’d done this to Buck & Eddie in the OG, I’d be fucking devastated. Like... if Buck or Eddie pushed the other around the way TK pushed Carlos around, I’d be absolutely gutted. It’s really horrible that they went down that path - whether it’s OOC or not, and you can probably argue that it is - they shouldn’t have included the scene like that in the show. 

It just raises a whole slew of questions, like... is TK violent? Is Carlos used to being pushed around in relationships? Is the show saying that it’s okay that they got a little physical because they’re both men? Domestic violence is never okay, and this is kind of... saying that it is, in certain circumstances?

That is problematic as fuck and such bad writing.

These two are in a relationship where they are living together and supposedly love each other, and this is how the writers choose to portray it? If you’re a T*rlos shipper and you’re upset about this episode, I get it. It’s really fucking terrible that they included that scene - and I would bet cold hard cash it’ll never be addressed again.

This is why LS is a bad show. It’s shitty writing. Shitty storylines. Characters who are interesting are shoved into the background and glossed over in favour of the male white characters. The OG doesn’t have this problem - for everyone complaining that Eddie hasn’t been featured as much this season (and yeah, I hate it too) - you can’t complain that the characters of colour don’t get equal screentime. 

With LS - it’s the Rob Lowe show, and everyone else is just in the background. And that’s why it’s so frustrating to watch - they have a great cast, and this could be a really good show, but it’s just not.

Do you think the LS writers patted themselves on the back after this arc and were like, "yeah we nailed it, we're amazing?"

This episode is -1,000000/10. This show should be cancelled.

Two god awful miserable fucking episodes to go.

Diaz to cleanse:

[tarlos911ls]

Title: Love is warm

Summary: Carlos gets shot and tk takes care of his boy. Really it’s just a flesh wound

Fandom: tarlos

Word count: 4,2k

Send me other fic ideas I’d love to write them! Send them to ohmicliffo! That’s my main I’m just can’t post there bc I’m not in the tags!

————————————

“Shot? What do you mean shot?” As soon as he heard the word fall from Michelle’s mouth accompanied by Carlos's name Tk could feel all of the hair on his body stand on end. His limbs stiffened and his foot began to bounce anxiously as his mind raced a mile a minute. Carlos was shot? His Carlos? well.. Not his carlos.. they weren’t dating. But his adjacent. Shot. He was shot. The man he had just seen this morning. The same man that insisted on making him breakfast because it was the most important meal of the day even though Tk always said a granola bar was enough.

“I’m Sorry I just assumed you would have already heard about it..” Michelle spoke as she raised her brows, her face set in that natural doe look she always sported. Obviously not planning to be the one that told Tk the news.

“Is he alright?” Judd was the first one to speak up right behind Tk. His voice startled him, not realizing his other team members had slowly gathered around, equally as taken back when they heard their fellow serviceman had been injured in the line of duty. Injuries of any variety were never easy let alone being shot.

“Yes, yes. It was early in his shift.. It was some punk robbing a convenience store while he was on patrol. nicked him in his side. He was already cleared at noon to go home.” Michelle raised her voice to address the group that had gathered around but everyone knew her words were still pointed at Tk.

Home. He was home already. And he still hadn’t heard about it. He glanced at the clock. He was cleared from the hospital 5 hours ago. Tk was going to give him hell. He took a deep breath and sighed heavily dropping his head as a mix of annoyance and concern raced through his body.

“Home. That’s a good thing. That means he wasn’t hurt too badly.“ Tk felt a hand clasp against his shoulder. Looking back he was met by his father's concerned gaze like he knew exactly what Tk was thinking. Of course he did. Owen strands voice carried a weight about it. A voice you weren't going to question no matter how worried you were. Tk knew he was right, Home was a good thing and he didn’t technically have a right to be annoyed that Carlos didn’t inform him himself. They weren’t dating or anything. Tk turned his head away trying to gather his thoughts while the rest of the crew continued to question michelle on the incident but Tk was too lost in thought to really hear what any one was saying.

“Go, Tk” He heard his father speak again this time directly to him in a low whisper. “ I know you’re not gonna be able to be much help out here if you can’t stop thinking about if he’s okay or not.” Owen patted his sons shoulder and gave him a reassuring smile “We will be fine here for the afternoon. Go on.” Tk gave him a thankful nod before he rushed off.

__________________________________________________________________

Tk had every intention of giving Carlos a piece of his mind as soon as he got to his house. He would keep a stern face and reprimand him for not mentioning it to him as soon as he was cleared from the hospital.He had practiced what he was going to say on the drive over. ‘You should have called me’ ‘ what did your hands get shot off you couldn’t text me?’ 5 hours from the time he was cleared from the to the time Tk actually heard about it from Michelle. ‘5 hours Carlos!!’ he would say.

But now standing in Carlos's doorway as the door swung open all of his annoyance washed away. Tk took an involuntary step forward as he took in a deep breath holding it as his eyes scanned over Carlos's body looking for any missing limbs or large open wounds. the fact michelle said it grazed him didn’t stop Tk’s mind from wandering. There he was in all of his glory, standing in a tight fitting tank top and police academy sweatpants. He was seemingly okay other than the obvious bandage against his waist highlighted from the tight fitting tank top.. Even with the tired bags forming under his eyes Carlos still managed to muster up a smile as soon as he saw Tk.

“ Hey tiger.” Carlos greeting like it was just a regular visit.

“You were shot” Were the first words Tk was able to muster up finally letting go of the breath he was holding.

“Yes.” Carlos gave a simple nod stepping aside allowing the shorter male to come in “But i am okay.” He added on keeping his voice steady more for Tk’s sake than his own.

“ You didn’t call me”

“I’m sorry.. I just don't exactly know how to start that conversation.” Carlos scratched at the back of his head his face contorting apologetically. “Hey, I got shot. I'm okay though.” Carlos raised his hands and pretended to type like he was typing on his phone to send a text. “ That’s not exactly the best way to find out.”

“Well neither was finding out from michelle.” Tk huffed his lips forming into a slight pout as they stood in the middle of Carlos's living room.

“ Really? She has such a nice aura about her I figured that was the best way to find out.” Carlos spoke playfully before he took a step closer to Tk placing his hands on his shoulders attempting to calm and reassure the other. “I’m sorry.” He quickly added. “ I should have told you.. It’s just been a long day. I’m sorry I worried you. I’m okay really. It was just a few stitches” Carlos flashed Tk a sweet smile as if the smile would drive home the point that he was okay. He took a step forward wrapping his arms around the shorter mall pulling him in for a hug. The hug leaned towards his uninjured side. It may have just been a few stitches but it still hurt like a bitch

“ I’m sorry, it's just. It was hard to hear. I know it’s part of the job but..."Tk kept the hug short only wrapping an arm around his good side not wanting to hurt him further. He took a step back and kept his gaze to Carlos's neck avoiding his eyes. But Carlos wasn’t having any of that. He placed his thumb and pointer finger under Tk’s chin tilting his head back slowly so he had no choice but to look up at him meeting his eyes. Tk could feel a weight lift off his shoulders as soon as their gazes locked into each other. Something about Carlos put him at ease. Those brown eyes drove his crazy and relaxed him at the same time.

“ Tyler Kennedy, I’m okay.” Carlos spoke with a soft authority as his thumb carefully caressed Tk’s chin. Tk couldn’t stop himself from leaning into the gentle touch.

“You were the one shot. I’m supposed to be taking care of you, shouldn't i? Not the other way around” Tk teased with another exasperated huff pointed towards his own dramatics. Carlos only smiled down at him with a type of fondness that Tk had never seen before. A type of fondness that filled his body with a new found warmth and love that he was just wanted to hold onto and keep forever.

“Maybe I like taking care of you.” Carlos raked his fingers though Tk’s hair slowly as his thumb moved to glide against his cheek bones. “Look. I have to change the bandages. You can see that it's not so bad.”

Normally Tk wasn’t the type to gawk at new injuries but he couldn't lie and say his interest wasn’t slightly peaked as carlos pulled him back to his bathroom. Tk would have gotten distracted by Carlos's torso if it wasn’t for the little wince that flashed over his face when he raised his shirt up over his chest.

“Are you in a lot of pain?” He couldn’t help but ask as he watched Carlos thoroughly wash his hands.there against his left hip was a large square bandage about 12 inches on each side.

“Yes.” Carlos admitted before he began pulling on the adhesive. “But I have been through worse.” He added calmly. Tk made a mental note to ask what exactly ‘worse’ meant before his attention was pulled to the wound that was revealed. It Looked about 7 inches long held together by a string of stitches. Around the wound was an accumulation of dried blood and a darkening purplish bruise. Tk took a step closer as he watched Carlos drag an alcohol pad carefully around the stitches removing any dried blood or debris. Once he was satisfied he grabbed another large bandage pulling back a protective seal to reveal the adhesive edges. Carlos carefully lined it up to his side in the mirror and smoothed it over his skin making sure it would stick.

“See? I will be juuuuust fine” Carlos dragged out his words as he straightened his body and pulled his shirt back down flashing Tk an award winning smile. Tk took another step forward and raised a hand placing it against Carlos's shoulder.

“We should uh. Sit. shouldn’t you be resting or something?”

“In my defense i was trying to until there was a knock on my door.” Carlos couldn;t help but tease. “ No, I’m kidding. I should be but.. I can't. I usually sleep on that side so it’s just a little difficult. I was just watching come tv in my room.. Come on.” Carlos flicked off the light in his bathroom and shut the door behind him. It was Tk that reached for Carlos's hand, intertwining their fingers for the short walk to Carlos's bedroom. He let Carlos climb into the bed first making himself comfortable in his little cocoon of blankets and pillows.

“Come here” Carlos raised his arm beckoning Tk to lay at his side. Tk simply shook his head not budging.

“No. no way i’m not gonna risk hitting your side.”

“Tk.”

“Carlos..”

Carlos grumbled rolling his eyes in the man's direction before he slowly repositioned himself so there was room on his other side. He patted his bed next to him waiting for Tk to join him. Tk kicked off his shoes and climbed into the plush bed. Instead of laying next to him to cuddle up to Carlos's side, Tk sat up slightly higher allowing Carlos to be the one to cuddle in close to him.

“I’ll allow it.” Carlos said with a faux annoyance as he rested his head against Tk’s chest. He let out a content sigh as one of Tks hands went straight to Carlos's hair slowly carding through it as the pari found instant comfort in each other's presence. Tk knew he wasn’t good with words. He never really was, even in his last relationships he always struggled to find the words that matched up with his feelings. Now was no different.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Tk had asked.

“I’m afraid it's not that crazy of a story.” Carlos smiled telling the day back as if it was just a boring article about a sale on produce in the local paper. “I was patrolling when I noticed a few people frantically running out of a small corner store. I ran in and saw a boy no older than 18 holding up this frail old lady at gunpoint for what was in her cash register. Well I startled him and his gun went off. I don't even think he purposely fired the trigger because as soon as he did he dropped the gun and raised his hands in surrender. The fast turn over I've ever had to deal with.” Tk held his breath at the retelling as he peered up at the ceiling quietly.

“When.. when i heard that you were hurt...i” His words came out quiet and choppy like he couldn’t find his train of thought. He knew they had already gone over this when Tk had first gotten to carlo’s home. But he couldn’t help but emphasize. This time around he spoke with more emotion, His goal not to communicate annoyance about not being told but to communicate his feelings for the other man. They weren’t dating which was mostly Tks doing. He hadn’t been ready for that level of commitment. But he couldn’t help the emotion that washed over him

Carlos understood. He knew exactly what feelings Tk was trying to convey. That feeling in the pit of your stomach when you find out someone close to you was injured. A feeling that haunted every one of your thoughts nagging at you reminding you of life's cruel misfortunes. A feeling that wouldn’t go away even long after finding out that person was okay.Carlos kept quiet wanting Tk to be able to get his words out without interruption. He needed him to know that his thoughts and feelings would be listened to in full and not disregarded.

“ When i heard it i just..I was so afraid. Even after michelle told me it was just a flesh wound. I was so afraid.” Tk leaned his head down burying his face into Carlos's hair letting himself take in the man’s sent. It was growing to be one of Tk’s favorite smells. “ I hate the idea of anything happening to you. Of … losing you.” Tk finally admitted. Carlos tightened his arm around Tk’s torso. Of course the fear came from Carlos being hurt but the real fear was what if that bullet was higher and a little bit more to the right.

“I’m afraid too you know..” Carlos pulled back just slightly so he could look up at Tk. he laid his cheek against his shoulder as he idly played with the necklace that always hung around Tk’s neck. “The idea of you walking into a burning building and not coming out..” Tk’s eyes wondered over Carlos's tired face studying each line, crevice, and carve like he was trying to memorize what he looked like in this moment. “ I know it’s part of the job. But it will never be easy.. Watching the people you care about put themselves in compromising and life threatening positions like that. But we do it for a reason right? To help people. To protect our community.”

“Definitely doesn't mean it's easy. Even when I watch my dad go in to help someone it's hard. But with my dad it's like… I’m there to help if he needs me too. With you.. I can’t protect you when you go out there.” Tk chewed on the inside of his lip oblivious to why a devilish grin grew on Carlos's lips “what?” he asked.

“Aw, you wanna protect me, ty?” Carlos asked in a sing song voice pinching playfully at Tk’s side. Tk rolled his eyes with a dramatic sigh before he grabbed the tv remote.

“Just watch your stupid show and go to sleep before i smother you with your own pillow!” Tk shoved the remote into Carlos's hand, unable to hide his smile or the blush that flooded his cheeks.

“If i fall asleep can you wake me up in a few hours? I have to change my bandage again.” Tk nodded at the question grabbing his phone setting an alarm for himself in a couple hours to wake up the man.

“I’ve got you, Officer.” He showed him the screen and smiled before setting it on the bedside table. Both of the men turned their attention to the tv as Carlos pressed play on his show hoping to keep his mind occupied from the slight dull pain in his side.

Tk hadn’t noticed how long the pair was laying there in bed until the sun shining through the window turned to deeper oranges and pinks until it settled into purples and blues engulfing the room in darkness. He reached over to turn on the bedside lamp restoring light to the room. It wasn’t until he turned back that he noticed Carlos had actually fallen asleep against his side. His breathing fell into a steady rhythm and his face appeared peaceful. The image next to him caused a calmness to settle over Tk. he grabbed the remote gently from Carlos limp hand and turned the tv off not wanting the man to wake up from a sudden loud noise.

Tk didn’t mind the silence. Usually he would do everything in his power to drown out the silence with idle music or noise of some kind not wanting his own thoughts to flood his mind. But now it was different. Now there was carlos. Instead of the usual anxious thoughts that raced through his mind there was carlos. now was his opportunity to really study the man without feeling weird about staring.His eyes wandered over his face admiring his beauty from the way his eyelashes gently laid against his tanned skin or the way his lipos formed a natural pout like they were begging to be kissed. And boy did Tk want to kiss him. Now more than ever.

Tk raised a hand dragging a thumb slowly over the side of Carlos's face caressing his smooth skin from his temple, over his pronounced cheek bone, to the curve off his ears, down his jaw, gently over his bottom lip, and then barely ghost up the bridge of his nose. Tk could get lost like this. He knew it would be easy to let himself fall into everything that Carlos was at this point. He could get used to the smell of his sheets, the routine of getting up early in the morning for breakfast instead of just grabbing a granola bar at the last minute. He could get accustomed to what degree to turn the knobs in the shower for the perfect temperature shower.

And his body. Tk could get lost in Carlos's body. The way those arms wrapped around him after a long day of work, their lips melting together in a passionate kiss, Carlos’s hand finding its way to the hold the back of Tk’s head while their bodies molded together easily like they were made to fit into each other perfectly. Maybe the risk of loss would be worth it this time around. People always ask him when he gets overly anxious “Does the risk match the reward?” Normally his answer would be no. But with carlos.. The reward was double. The opportunity to have Carlos even for a little while outweighed any fear he had.

Tk hummed softly to himself leaning his body closer to Carlos’s sleeping frame gently resting his forehead against Carlos's enjoying their closeness. He couldn’t help but melt when he felt the way Carlos leaned into him even in his sleep further forming their bodies together. Tk relaxed fully prepared to sleep just like this with their foreheads pressed together. That was until the alarm on his phone sounded.

“Shit!” Tk quietly grumbled as he jolted away grabbing at his phone to turn off the alarm. He looked back at the sleep man staying very still for a long moment while Carlos stirred making sure he didn’t fully wake him up. The bandage. Tk thought to himself as he chewed on the inside of his lip. He couldn’t bring himself to wake up Carlos knowing how hard it was for him to get to sleep in the first place. Slowly, Tk pulled back Carlos's shirt eyeing up the injury.. Maybe he could do it? Tk had asked himself. As long as he was gentle Carlos probably wouldn’t even notice and it was important that he got sleep.

Tk kept his movements slow and silent as he swung his legs over the side of the bed. The coolness of the hardwood floor against Tks bearfeet sent a quick shiver up his spine as he stood up walking back to the bathroom. Thoroughly, he washed his hands the with antibacterial soap carlos had next to his sink before he grabbed the supplies he needed to help his … friend? Boyfriend..? Companion? Tk pushed the thought away as he padded his way back to carlos’s bed side setting his bandages and little alcohol pads on the bedside table.

Keeping his eyes glued to Carlos's face for any movement, Tk began removing the previous bandage. He kept one hand on Carlos’s side while the other pulled on the adhesive strip making sure that his skin wasn’t tugged too much. It took longer than it would have normally if it weren't for not wanting to wake the sleeping man but eventually Tk removed the used bandage folding it up and discarding it in the nearby bin. The stitched up wound didn’t look bad this time around. The bruise was still a mix of vibrant purples and blues but there wasn’t much dried up blood. Tk grabbed one of the alcohol pads very gently dragging it around the area until he was satisfied it was cleaned the same way Carlos did it a few hours ago. Grabbing for the new bandage Tk pulled back the protective strip revealing the adhesive edges before he lined it up with Carlos’s side. Again Tk watched carlos’s face for any movements or signs of discomfort as he smoothed the edges against carlos’s skin making sure it stayed where it was supposed to be. Once he was all finished he pulled Carlos's shirt back down over his torso and pulled one of the thin blankets up around him like he was loosely tucking him into bed. Finally he gathered up all of the leftover trash and dropped them all into the bin to be properly disposed of later.

Tk turned his attention back to carlos unable to stop himself from leaning forward to press a gentle kiss to carlos’s forehead.

“Hmm.” a soft little hum fell from Carlos’s hips as he stirred in bed again his eyes fluttered open once Tk looked down at him.

“ What? I did all of that and you wake up when I kiss your forehead?” Tk kept his voice quiet like he was still afraid to interrupt the man's slumber.

“ What can I say? I’m a sucker for your lips” Carlos easily teased, his words slurring together but was quickly followed with “ Wait..? All of.. What?” Carlos asked his voice deep and groggy still riddled with sleep.

“I uh. Changed your bandages.. I didn’t want to wake you. It was going fine until I kissed your forward.” Tk said with a tone that seemed almost embarrassed for performing the nice gesture.Carlos opened his eyes fully at this looking up at Tk with those same fond eyes as earlier.

“ Don’t look at me like that carlos!” Tk turned his head away

“You did that for me? So you wouldn’t have to wake me up?” A smile tugged on the corners of Carlos's lips. It was Carlos's turn to have that warmth spread through his body. The realization that someone really cared for you. Maybe Tk wasn’t good with words but he was good with action. Instead of long declarations of love all of Tks feelings went into the action he performed. Like going out of his way to take care of Calos even just to let him sleep a little bit longer. Love wasn’t always the words you said to someone. It was the little things and he liked these little things with Tk.

“ Obviously it wasn't a well thought out plan. Just no forehead kisses next time.” Tk walked to the other side of the bed pulling the little string on the bedside lamp sliding back into this warm spot. Carlos’s eyes followed him the whole way with that same smile and those same fond eyes.

“No. no i like forehead kisses do not take those off of your todo lists. I don’t mind being woken up like that.” Carlos added reaching arm out pulling Tk into his side this time willing Tk to lay his head on Carlos's chest “come here you won’t hurt me. I promise.” Carlos added wanting to reassure him before Tk even got a chance to voice his concern.

“Hey” Carlos nudged softly placing his thumb and pointer fingers under Tk’s chin pulling his face up so they were looking at each other. Without much warning Carlos leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to Tk’s lip for the first time that night. It didn’t grow in passion and it wasn’t rough it was just a soft reminder that he was there. They were together and everything was going to be okay. Carlos dragged his thumb over Tk’s jaw as their lips pulled apart with a sweet smile. Tk sighed contently as he laid his cheek against Carlos’s broad chest making sure none of his limbs were close to his wounds. Having the comfort of Tk in his arms, it was easy for Carlos to slip back into sleep with Tk close behind both men taking solace in each other's warmth.

[things-with-teeth]

“And Hope That I Don’t Crash You”: The Web, The Archivist, and Control

In her statement to Jon, Annabelle Cane states, “I have always believed that the key to manipulating people is to ensure that they always under- or overestimate you. Never reveal your true abilities or plans” (MAG 147). In a lot of ways, the narrative supports reading this as an admonishment against doing the later. In MAG 149, Melanie shoots down the idea that the Web has some strategy beyond “to paralyze [Jon] with indecision, sitting here terrified that everything [he does] is somehow part of its grand plan;” Jon doesn’t necessarily concede to this point, but he does admit it’s a possibility. Every time we’ve met another avatar of one of the Entities or an organization that worships them, it’s turned out that they’re not all they were cracked up to be when they first appeared on the scene: Peter can’t protect the Archives as he told Martin he would, Elias isn’t as all-knowing as he would lead others to believe, the Cult of the Lightless Flame and the People's Church of the Divine Host are both 95% petty in-fighting and about 5% knowing what the heck they’re doing. (Simon “in it for the lulz” Fairchild is sort of a breath of fresh air; he also doesn’t know what he’s doing, but he doesn’t pretend otherwise.) So maybe the Web is the same; even Annabelle suggests it, telling Jon that it’s entirely possible the Mother of Puppets is “simply sitting and reveling in the inevitable cascade of paranoia as those who hold her in special terror cocoon themselves in red string and theory” (147).

On that note, please allow me to cocoon myself in red sting and theory: I think Annabelle has basically been engineering events since season one, and here’s why.

I want to be clear from the start: I think Annabelle is being completely above board when she tells Jon that she hasn’t influenced his decision to take statements and feed the Eye. It’s clear from the moment that he proposes the possibility that this is a bit of a reach, a desperate last-ditch attempt to convince both himself and the others that he hasn’t been acting with any kind of autonomy while doing something he knows will hurt people. He is. He does. Jon Sims is becoming a monster, and that wouldn’t be nearly as horrifying or as sad if there wasn’t some element of choice to it (and some element of inevitability to that choice, as with a lot of great tragedies, but the kind of inevitability that’s as much personally driven as externally motivated). In no way am I writing this in an attempt to say “the spiders made him do it, he had no choice.” That being said, Annabelle herself makes an argument for choice being dictated by circumstance, and I’m going to argue that Annabelle herself has dictated a great deal of the circumstance from the very beginning.

Some of this is very well-supported by the things that we already know for a fact; Annabelle, herself, admits to Jon that she’s been “been nudging something here and there to keep [Jon] safe, to keep everything on track” (ibid). I don’t think there’s much room to argue that Annabelle wasn’t the one who prevented Jane Prentiss’ plan to destroy the Archives from coming to fruition. As of MAG 123, we know that Annabelle was responsible for what happened to Carlos Vittery way back in MAG 16, the very same case that Martin is investigating when he discovers Jane in the basement of Carlos’ apartment leading up to MAG 22, and from MAG 16 we know that Jane’s presence there predates that of the spiders – Carlos says his building has an “infestation of some sort of insect [he] didn’t recognize – small, silvery worms [...] they provided a good meal for the eight-legged little monsters.” As a result, the Archives are aware that Jane is a present and immediate danger. In MAG 38, the infestation of worms in the tunnels and Jane’s attack on the archives is revealed when Jon damages the false wall while attempting to commit arachnicide, and she’s forced to attack early. This is almost definitely why she fails; Tim states that “[being inside the Magus Institute] made them weaker, and they’ve been down there for months, breeding, building up their numbers until there were enough to properly bury us. Except you found that hidden passage, and they had to act” (MAG 40). I think it’s also possible – although this is more conjecture at this point – that Annabelle was the one who sent the note that incited Jared Hopworth to attack the archives between seasons three and four, although that’s mostly because I’m not sure there’s a better candidate; Peter potentially has motive, but that kind of manipulation reads more as the Web than the Lonely. “I’m starting to think the letters were a trap,” says Jared (MAG 131), and I would argue that it was a trap, not for Jared but for Martin, meant to nudge him into looking outside the Institute for protection. It’s more-or-less explicitly stated that Annabelle sent Oliver Banks to coax Jon out of his coma: “I'm still not exactly sure why I'm here. But you know better than anyone how the spiders can get into your head. Easier to just do what she asks” (MAG 121). Annabelle has nudged, here and there, and she has kept Jon safe, and she has kept everything on track.

I think Annabelle has been influencing events in more subtle ways, too, however. Very early in the series, Jon receives a delivery which includes “an old Zippo” with a “spider web design on the front” (MAG 36). He’s suggests that Tim have the others take a look at it, but that’s quickly lost in the realization that the other item delivered is the web table, which Jon recognizes from its description. As far as I can recall, we don’t hear another mention of the lighter until MAG 111, when Gerard asks Jon if he’s “a spider freak” after Jon offers him a cigarette and, presumably, a light. This means that, three seasons later, Jon is still carrying the lighter. A lighter with a spider web pattern on it, delivered by Breekon and Hope, who may belong to the Stranger but who are certainly willing to deliver parcels for other powers (the yellow stole Father Burroughs receives in MAG 20, for instance). Jon has been carrying around an artifact of the Web for the better part of the series, and I don’t think it’s impossible that it’s been influencing him, or that Annabelle’s been using it to influence him, in ways that are much less obvious than those I’ve listed above. Mostly I don’t want to speculate as to how it’s influenced him – I straight up do not know, and like I said, my intention is not to absolve Jon of all agency in his own actions for the last hundred plus episodes – with one exception. There’s one other time that Jon’s smoking habit has heavily impacted the plot: when he steps out to have a cigarette in MAG 80, leaving the way clear for Elias to brutally pipe murder Jurgen Lietner and keep Jon “on track” in his development as the Archivist.

This is speculation, but I think it’s speculation supported by past events within the podcast, most specifically those surrounding Gertrude and Agnes.

Annabelle wasn’t an avatar of the Web back then, of course, but I still think that there’s a lot to be learned when it comes to how the Web and/or its representatives influence the course of events nominally controlled by and benefitting other Entities. In MAG 139, Eugene Vanderstock says:

The compromise we came to was Hill Top Road. We knew it was a stronghold of the Web, full of other children Agnes’ age. We would supervise from a distance but were confident she would be in no danger. The Mother of Puppets has always suffered at our hand – all the manipulation and subtle venom in the world means nothing against a pure and unrestrained force of destruction and ruin.

And that’s—that’s weird, isn’t it? We know that the Cult is at least somewhat protective of Agnes; it’s how Diego convinces Arthur Nolan and the others not only to refrain from acting against Gertrude but to protect her for so many years after she binds Agnes to her, because it might be “catastrophic for Agnes” if Gertrude were to die “a violent death” (MAG 145). In spite of that, here they are, sending their baby chosen one into the lair of an enemy power so that she can get some normal socialization and learn not to bite (or burn) the other kids. As a result, Agnes ends up tied to Hill Top Road and Raymond Fielding, even after Fielding is dead, perhaps because of an early attempt at the same kind of binding that Gertrude eventually succeeds at creating. I don’t think it’s outside of the realm of possibility that the chain of events leading up to the Cult making this disastrous decision were not entirely without influence from the Web.

Then there’s Jack Barnabas. I’m ridiculously charmed by Jack’s whole mindset of “this girl is so goddamn weird and I’m really ridiculously into it,” and I’m not going to suggest that what he felt for Agnes wasn’t real; even Jon is “ninety percent” sure that Gertrude “didn’t pay poor Jack Barnabas to fall in love with Agnes” (MAG 139), and I’m about equally certain that the Web didn’t compel poor Jack Barnabas into being head over heels for her, either. That said, I think it’s clear that the Web did have some involvement. When preparing for his first date with Agnes, Jack smells burning and notices that “within the corner of the room, where there had been a spider's web this morning, there was just a faint wisp of smoke” (MAG 67). The language in his statement, years later, is filled with confusion about his own motives and hints of compulsion: “I was drawn to her in a way I can't even explain,” “I don't know how it happened, it [asking Agnes for a date] just tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop it,” “drowning in emotions that I still can't explain,” and “looking back, I'm still not sure what I would have done differently [...] I don't know if I would have had it in me to resist. I just couldn't avoid being drawn in” (ibid). Jack’s feelings for Agnes may not have been entirely manufactured, but they did receive a nudge, and the result was doubt and eventual death for the avatar and a necessary component in the ritual of one of the Web’s opposing powers.

Finally, there’s Gertrude. When speaking of the path that led her to the ritual which eventually bound her to Agnes, she describes it thus:

It was the Web. I didn’t know it at the time, of course, and I would call it an accident, but it never is, with them. It’s only after the fact that you can see all the subtle manipulations [...] I began researching what I thought was a counter-ritual of sorts. Like I said, I was young, naive. I somehow found just the right books, made just the right connections, and even got what I thought was a piece of blind good luck when I found a tin box in the ashes of Hill Top Road, containing some perfectly preserved cuttings of her hair. Of course, what I thought was a banishment ritual turned out not to be. The circle I constructed was more of a—an invitation. It let the Mother of Puppets bind me to Agnes, interweave our existences at some metaphysical level, as it had with Fielding and the house. (MAG 145)

Somehow she found the right books. Blind good luck that led her to Agnes’ hair at Hill Top Road. I would call it an accident. It’s only after the fact that you can see all the subtle manipulations – and this is Gertrude, who isn’t infallible, but who Arthur Nolan pinpoints as being “too practical” (ibid) to buy into the mystique of the Entities or to ascribe to them some greater motive, which would seem to belie the possibility that she’s falling prey to (as Annabelle suggests in MAG 147, as Melanie suggests in MAG 149) the tendency to succumb to paranoia while crediting the Mother of Puppets with some grand act of manipulation that the Web isn’t actually responsible for. I would argue that Jon has most likely been experiencing the same kind of quote-unquote happenstance that Gertrude once did, the same kind of subtle manipulation cloaked in coincidence, for the entirety of the series, all of it leading him toward whatever end Annabelle finds most desirable.

Some final notes that I couldn’t really incorporate elsewhere: I really, very much hope that Melanie’s therapy sessions really are just her getting good professional help for everything the Archives and the Entities have thrown at her, but I’m less and less certain that’s the case. Annabelle’s inception, her origin story, takes place in a psychology department. When doing follow-up in MAG 69, the archival staff find that all of the post-grads involved in the experiment have disappeared; in addition, Elizabeth “Liz” Bates, the advisor on the project, refuses to give a follow-up statement. The Web is about control and manipulation; it’s entirely possible that Annabelle has a large pool of qualified candidates to draw on when it comes to providing Melanie with a counselor who doesn’t have “cobwebs down her face” (MAG 149). I also keep getting stuck on the fact that very soon after Melanie asks Daisy not to call her “Mel” in MAG 147 because her therapist has advised her to be more open about these things, Annabelle opens her statement with “Free will is a funny old thing, isn’t it Jon? Can I call you Jon? I’m going to call you Jon.” Sure, it’s coincidence – but Gertrude was convinced, at first, that what she was dealing with was coincidence, too.

As for why Annabelle is doing this, I don’t know. Maybe the Lonely is as much in opposition to the Web as the Desolation is – after all, it’s difficult to manipulate someone in isolation – and she’s trying to impede Peter, not from stopping the Extinction but from benefiting from it, as Simon Fairchild says he will, thereby eliminating an enemy just as the Web did with Agnes and the Desolation. Maybe she’s trying to beat him to the same goal, establishing some level of control over someone beholden to the Ceaseless Watcher just as Peter is trying to gain control of Martin; Jon’s first experience with the supernatural involved the Web, and then there’s that Zippo. Maybe she has some goal all her own, some third option not yet even hinted at. Or maybe, like Jon, she’s acting on instinct, unable to do anything but “dance the steps [she is] assigned” (ibid), manipulating and spinning out her web because she’s incapable of doing anything else.

---

So I accidentally wrote 2.5k of wild conjecture about creepy spider people because I got stuck on the idea that there was a connection between the Zippo and Lietner’s death, that was fun. Shout out to @wildehacked for letting me yell about this and additional shout out to anyone involved in the wiki or the transcripts because oh goooooood would this have been more difficult to compile without being able to utilize those resources to check citations and grab most of the quotes. 

Quick edit to add a link to @caught-in-the-infinite‘s excellent alternative explanation for why Annabelle might have wanted Jared Hopworth to attack the Archives, which I think makes a lot more good sense than mine while also having even more ominous implications. 

[curtashiism]

How to Save a Life, chapter one

Summary: Carlos would say that it was a simple matter of physics, whether it was good or bad, in his favor or not, ordered or chaotic. It was just physics, he'd say.

To which Jay would say, fuck physics.

Fuck anything that hurts Carlos.

In the end, it didn't matter whose fault it was; Jay would still blame himself regardless. It could have been a fall, or a thunderbolt from the sky, or an illness, and it wouldn't change anything.

But the fact that Carlos got hurt under Jay's watch made it a hell of a lot easier.

The fact that Carlos got hurt on the Isle, where Jay had vowed Carlos would never be harmed again, made it inevitable.

With Harry Hook stirring again, ready to try on his own what Uma had failed at, the four had had no choice but to return and confront the threat.

"We've become quite the do-gooders," Jay had joked, ruffling Carlos's hair. "They may as well knight us now!"

"Knight Jay, defender of the innocent," Carlos had replied with no small amount of sarcasm. "Warrior for virtue!"

Jay had fired back, "Knight Carlos, defender of helpless maidens everywhere!" and run to Mal, kneeling before her. "My lady, will you allow this hero to assist you?"

Mal had rolled her eyes and pushed him away, and they had turned serious as they once again approached the godforsaken island.

Not long after that, Jay would find himself wishing he actually was a knight, or any kind of warrior at all. Anything that could have protected Carlos.

Carlos had made his contribution to their mission already, using his speed to run past Harry into the ship and retrieve the items Harry had boasted about as the key to a revolution. Jay would trail behind, close enough to step in if need be, but far enough not to make their presence obvious.

Jay was the second best at being quiet after Carlos. Being a thief required a certain level of sneakiness, but being Cruella De Vil's son required the ability to become invisible.

And so Carlos had been sent in alone, but not really, and had made his way to a room filled with what looked like a year's worth of technological scraps from Auradon.

Looking at the wires and components, it was obvious to Carlos that they were trying to replicate his barrier-destroying machine. They may have had far better parts than Carlos had dreamed of when he built his own device, but without his technical gifts, they were unlikely to get far. Wires were just wires without an engineer's brain.

Surely, Carlos thought, even in their arrogance, Harry and his crew would realize as much? They were too smart to expect a mass of mechanical scraps to assemble itself, and they surely were aware that with Carlos gone, no one on the Isle had anywhere near enough skill to make such a machine.

Carlos's heart sank as realization came over him.

Yes, Harry's crew knew they had nothing but useless scrap. An invention wasn't their goal at all.

This was nothing more than a decoy.

Sure enough, just as he turned around to run to safety, a hook seemed to appear out of nowhere, the curve fitting remarkably well against Carlos's throat and forcing him back.

"Welcome aboard, matey!" Harry said into his ear. "Shall I give ye a tour? Ye didn't get ta see much last time." Carlos swallowed and shook his head; Harry just shrugged behind him. "Then we'll wait. Yer crew against mine, hmm?"

Carlos swallowed again, but stayed silent. Being Cruella's son meant knowing when talking would only make things worse. He knew when to just accept what was being said, no matter how badly he wants to fight back.

Still, his eyes scanned the room, a silent plea. Please hurry, Jay.

The seconds ticked on- a clock was mounted on the wall, the damn thing mocking him. One minute, two, five, ten. Carlos could feel Harry's breath against his neck, and he felt Carlos use his free hand- his free hook- to stroke down Carlos's back.

Finally Carlos lost it and yelled, "For the love of god, Jay! Any time you want to help, I'm ready!"

"Maybe he's forgotten ye," Harry suggested, faking sincerity. "Are ye sure ye don't wanna join me crew instead?"

Carlos snarled, but said nothing.

"What a feisty pup," Harry said, yipping like a tiny poodle.

And still Carlos said nothing. If he could remain silent while being beaten by his mother, while being told he was nothing but a mistake and would never be worth anything, he could handle taunting from Harry Hook. Although he still wished Jay would hurry.

Unknown to him, Jay was being held back by a different threat. He had lost sight of Carlos- the boy being too fast for his own good- and in trying to find him, had taken a wrong turn and ended up at a part of the ship that was in serious disrepair. Now he had to move skillfully to avoid falling through the huge gaps in the floor.

By the time he managed to maneuver his way out of the danger and had tracked Carlos down again, the girls, too had lost their way, and Jay was torn between helping them and helping Carlos.

His instinct to protect Carlos won out, and he went after the boy, finding him being held by Harry.

"Hook!" Jay barked. "Let him go!"

"Not a chance," Harry said immediately. "Not unless ye've got something ta offer me in return."

Jay turned dangerously calm, tilting his head at Harry. "A trade," he hummed. To anyone who didn't know him, it sounded like he was honestly thinking. But Carlos knew better. The only thing Jay was thinking in that moment was how best to murder Harry. Jay wasn't hard to anger, but threatening Carlos was by far the easiest way to infuriate him.

"A trade," Jay said again. "I think I can do that."

In the blink of an eye Jay's calm mask melted away, revealing a terrifying fury. "How about you let him go, and I don't break your fucking neck, Hook?" he roared, taking a step forward. "How does that sound?"

Jay, despite knowing Carlos for so long, still managed to forget some of the lessons Carlos had to show him. Somehow Jay still managed to discount the importance of speed; or, at least, he did when he was dealing with people other than Carlos. He remembered it with Carlos, most likely because it was one of his greatest assets, and he would never forget his best friend's strengths. But on others, he either forgot it was a factor, or ignored it. He never seemed to remember that his brute force meant nothing if he could never actually make contact with an enemy.

And so, even as he lunged for them, Harry managed to step back, tsking. "Ye really have lost yer touch."

It was the last straw for Jay, who finally charged in a blind rage.

Unfortunately, it was the exact wrong move. Carlos tried to convey as much, but as he was yanked back, the hook pressing into his throat took his air away. Harry fell, taking Carlos with him and choking him for several horrifying seconds, and Carlos let out a desperate gasp.

A bull-like roar escaped Jay at the sight, and he charged yet again.

And that would prove to be the worst mistake of Jay's life.

His momentum was too great, preventing him from stopping when he overshot the pair. He instead careened into a bookcase behind them- said bookcase not being used to store books, but various pirate-related artifacts Harry had collected.

The bookcase- obviously, being on the Isle- was defective, built on uneven legs. Harry had always steadied it with a paperweight, but, as Carlos knew well, an external component would never help with the overall stability of the thing.

And so, when faced with the raw power of Jay hitting its weaker side, the bookcase toppled.

It was the penultimate event in a string of misfortune, really. The quartet being forced to the Isle, Carlos and Jay being separated, Hook getting his hands on Carlos- all could have been dealt with easily. But once the bookcase came into play, the scales were tipped in favor of disorder.

Carlos, in his love of physics, had extensively researched entropy, and had once explained the concept to a baffled Jay.

"It's the amount of disorder in the universe," he'd said.

And Jay had just stared. "You actually measure that?"

"Well, not exactly." Carlos had shrugged. "It's just important to know it. Because when good things get used up, they leave disorder in their place. And one day the good will be drowned out. Right now, it's just being… challenged. But one day, the disorder will take over. Everything else will just… get used up."

"You mean that hasn't already happened?" Jay had asked, looking out their dorm room window towards the Isle.

Carlos had shaken his head. "Good isn't overpowered, yet. There's forces like us around."

Jay had thought for a long moment, staring out the window. "We went from disordered to good. So could the rest of the universe?"

Shaking his head again, Carlos had said, "People can, because we have free will. We're more than a set of laws. But the atoms and stars, they only have one direction. You can't undo that stuff. It would be like turning ashes back into a tree."

"Mal probably could, with the right spell," Jay had argued. "Those guys didn't take magic into account when they thought of all that stuff."

"If magic could erase the bad in the world, I think the most powerful magic users already would have done it," Carlos had said softly.

Jay didn't know why the concept unsettled him so much. It was all just more science crap. Carlos had told him once that the sun would explode in a couple billion years or so, too, and he hadn't cared. So why would this bother him when, Carlos said, the decay would take so long that it would make the loss of the sun look like a split second?

But every time he'd thought of it since, it always sent a chill down his spine.

And now, as he watched the bookcase start to fall, far too fast for him to be able to do anything about it, he realized why. Entropy was something that couldn't be fought. It marched on against all resistance, swallowing anything good in its wake, and he was completely powerless against it all. He watched the bookcase land on Carlos the way a black hole would consume a planet, the way a sun would turn into a supernova and destroy an entire solar system. The planets would be just another casualty of entropy, and so, too, was Carlos.

Carlos would say that it was a simple matter of physics, whether it was good or bad, in his favor or not, ordered or chaotic. It was just physics, he'd say.

To which Jay would say, fuck physics.

Fuck anything that hurts Carlos.

Fuck physics, and fuck that bookcase.

The bookcase made surprisingly little sound as it landed; certainly not the cacophony he would have expected. Jay would have hoped it had landed harmlessly if not for the one sound he did hear- a crack that he knew from experience meant bones had broken.

Jay would have hoped it was Harry who had taken the brunt of it, but Carlos had landed on top. Hook, Jay seethed, had gotten himself a human shield without even trying.

The room got so quiet that Jay's ears started producing their own sound to fill the void, a buzzing that made Jay dizzy- almost too much so to reach the disaster zone.

But he did, and made short work of pulling the bookcase off of Carlos.

Immediately, Jay's face fell almost as hard as the shelves had.

Carlos was unconscious, blood streaming from a wound on the side of his head. His left arm was obviously broken, swelling rapidly and sticking out an angle that made Jay nauseous.

Worst of all, he was barely breathing. In fact, it was several seconds before a tremor rattled the boy's body and let Jay know he was still alive at all.

"Carlos!" he cried, pulling the boy into his arms. Too late he remembered that he shouldn't, that for all he knew Carlos's neck could be broken, and that only made his panic worse. What if he had just paralyzed his friend for life?

Though, it wouldn't be a very long 'rest of his life' if Jay didn't get him back to Auradon now.

"You," he spat at Harry- literally- "will regret this one day."

And with that, he took off, holding Carlos in a modified bridal carry that let him support his neck as much as possible. It wasn't much better, but it was all he could do.

"MAL! EVIE! WHERE ARE YOU?" he screamed as he sprinted through the ship. "WHERE ARE YOU?!"

It seemed like an eternity before he finally heard Mal's voice. "Jay? We're on the deck! What happened?"

Jay charged towards it, a sheen of sweat starting to appear on his face. He only realized he'd made it when he heard the girls gasp in horror, Evie immediately demanding to know what had happened.

"Later," he grit out, already having walked past them to the docks. "We have to get him back to Auradon now."

The girls said nothing, obeying him without hesitation. Jay focused his attention on Carlos, trusting that the girls would watch out for any potential threats while he made sure Carlos stayed alive in his arms.

They managed to get to the docks with no further incident, and Jay could have kissed the limo when it came into his line of sight. Mal and Evie got in the front, Mal driving, while Jay climbed into the back, cradling Carlos's unconscious form.

"Stay with me, man," he said, too quietly for anyone else to hear. Not that Carlos could hear him either, but… well. "You can't fucking die. Not like this." He gave a short, almost hysterical laugh. "You're too fucking cool to be killed by a bookcase, man. You deserve a blaze of glory." He fell silent. "Or, if you wanted to… not die at all, ever, that would be even better. Yeah. That would be cool."

He stared out the window as they reached the Auradon mainland, despair starting to creep up and take over him. It was like a frost that crept over the ground, freezing it and killing all the living things that needed the heat.

"Don't you dare die on me," he told Carlos, watching the boy breathe and wishing he would give some indication he heard Jay at all. "I'll never forgive you, you know that? If you die I'll hate you forever and you'd rather anything than that. So you'd better wake the hell up."

The faked bravado only made Jay feel more pathetic, and he was suddenly fighting back tears.

But thankfully, at that moment, they arrived at the hospital. Jay was out of the car almost before it stopped, barreling through the doors and screaming for help, not aware of what he was actually saying. Whatever it was, though, seemed to get the point across- or maybe it was just the fact that he'd run in there carrying a bloody, unconscious teenager- and a half dozen doctors and nurses were suddenly surrounding him, instructing him to place Carlos on a medical bed and then forcing him back.

Almost the instant a doctor shined a light in Carlos's eyes, they were wheeling him away, and Jay was able to make out that they were shouting to prepare an operating room for Carlos immediately.

And though Jay followed at just enough of a distance not to make himself obvious, he was soon being pushed back by a nurse who saw him. "You can't go in there," she said, kind but firm, and Jay snarled at her.

"The hell I can't!" And with that he pushed past her, only to have his shirt grabbed.

"I mean it. Nobody can go back there," the nurse said. "Only the patient and the people treating him."

The patient. Hearing Carlos called a patient made Jay feel ill, so much so that he thought the hospital might just get a second patient right then and there.

But he managed to swallow down the nausea as the nurse told him, "it would help if you told us what happened, so we know what injuries we're treating."

He could do that, he supposed. He'd rather be with Carlos, but helping him indirectly was the next best thing. Anything but just sitting on his ass and waiting. Jay wasn't good at waiting on an ordinary day, let alone now.

So he told her everything he knew, everything he thought might be even a little help. He told her how Carlos's arm had bent out and how he'd bled and how he'd been unconscious right away, and had stayed that way the whole time.

Jay might not be smart like Carlos, but he had an eye for detail. He had to, to be able to pick out what items to steal. But now he was using them to help instead.

But soon he was out of things to say, and the nurse half guided, half forced him to what she called a waiting room- a concept Jay found entirely absurd. But that was where he was to stay until they came to him. So he dutifully sat next to Mal and Evie, who were already texting everyone they could think of to tell them what had happened.

And now Jay had nothing to do to occupy himself except replay the last two hours over and over again in his head.

Kicking the toes of his shoes against the tile floor, he let out a growl and made a mental list of the things he was angry at. Harry. Harry was the first one he thought of. Everyone else on the Isle too, to a lesser extent. Whoever had let Harry get that bookcase, whoever had helped him form that plan, whoever had decided to trick Carlos and try to use him as bait for the others. Himself, for letting it happen to Carlos in the first place. In fact, when he replayed the scene in his mind, he realized that he was the one who had sent the bookcase tumbling down in the first place. He did this to Carlos, even more than Harry.

And that, Jay realized, meant he had to revise his list of 'things to blame for this', and put himself at the top. Harry would be second for bringing them there.

Third would be science. Biology, for making Carlos's body unable to withstand the impact, and physics, for making the bookcase fall that way in the first place, and for favoring disorder. Physics, for making him betray Carlos.

Fuck physics.

A/N: A few things to note. Firstly, here, Jay takes a more philosophical interpretation of entropy; entropy is more of a metaphor to him than a scientific concept. Hence him holding entropy responsible for Carlos's injury. Entropy, to Jay, is sort of a shorthand for all the wrongness in the universe.

Secondly, for all you Harry Hook fans (of which I am one!)- don't worry, he'll have a chance at redemption later. That's not to say he'll become harmless, of course, but his chance to make a new start isn't gone by any means.

Thirdly, as an aspiring vet, I have a fascination with what one might call medical procedurals. The chapters to come will be heavy on medical 'stuff', but I hope to still very much keep this an emotional story. That said, in trying to be realistic, there may be times where I lose the balance, because aside from Carlos and perhaps Evie, none of the teenagers would understand a word the doctors will have to say about Carlos's condition. So, bear with me, and if I seem to be tipping the scales too far in one direction, please do let me know so I can note this for the next chapter. I have no idea how long this one will be, but I anticipate a minimum of 10 chapters/25,000 words when all is said and done.  I have the plot sketched in my head and it will take a while to go through it.

That does it for this chapter. I hope you're enjoying this, and I will try to get the next chapter up soon. Thanks!