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lovenotesandneonstars · 4 years

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And That’s Enough.

Wanna hear a secret?

Every writer I've ever known has, at some point, faced a soul-crushing anxiety over whether or not they're really a writer.

"But Topher," you might say, "That's not a secret!"

If I were being clever, I might give you a wink and the slight twitch of my nose that all the wise old men do. But I'm not very clever, I'm not necessarily wise, and I'm not old. So instead, I figured I might tell you about how I learned to solve that crisis for myself. But in order to get there, we have to start at the beginning.

I was a fairly lonely kid, never really had a steady friends' group, and when I was in second grade I started deliberately getting lunch detention so that I could spend my lunch period reading without being harassed by my classmates. I thought it was a genius plan. Well, that, and my second grade teacher (who was also my third grade teacher, yay for small towns!) and I had a personality clash. I would finish my work too fast and start reading from my pocket dictionary (yeah, I was THAT nerd), and would correct him in class. He, in return, would try to find any way possible to punish or humiliate me. It was fun! I loved reading no matter what trouble it got me in, and getting in trouble just gave me more time to read.

Ask any writer you know and they'll tell you that in order to write, you have to enjoy reading. And I was always excited to read (which hasn't changed much as I've grown, I just find less time to be able to read these days. #Adulting, right?) at any chance I got. When I was in 5th grade, I stayed in the truck with no AC and just the window rolled down for 3 hours while my mom went grocery shopping to read Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (which took me a whopping 5 hours to finish!). When sixth grade rolled around, I started wanting to try my hand at creating something instead of just consuming it. For a lonely, depressed kid, the world of fiction was the best friend I had.

The first thing I remember writing was House MD fanfiction. It was my favorite show and I started out as any respectable fanfiction writer does: with a Mary Sue self-insert! Eventually, I had a small cult following on the school bus, and found my way to the big leagues of fanfiction.net about a year later. I moved onto another overdone trope: songfics. From there, I kept writing fanfic, even after my mom found it and banned me from it. I just enjoyed writing so much. House MD turned into Harry Potter which turned into Glee. I should also mention the other kind of writing I found as an eleven year old, right after I started writing fanfic: role playing. I stumbled upon a Harry Potter RP one day while trying to find video games for my favorite franchise and, with the help of a kindly more experienced role player, was taught how to RP. I was hooked. Soon, all my free time turned to writing. I was neglecting my video games in favor of blasting my favorite album at any point and writing more and more. And when I wasn't writing, I was reading. Harry Potter, The Princess Diaries, Percy Jackson, whatever I could get my hands on. Middle school was consumed by writing and reading, whether it was the actual series I was into or fanfiction for it.

Then came high school, and my RP site shut down, and my book pile ran out, and I fell into a deeper depression than I had before. I had always loved music, but I got more into it as I couldn't find much to read that I was interested in. But on the bright side, I was making real friends! I wasn't spending my lunch times alone anymore, and I had people to talk to about the fandoms I loved. Writing and reading fell to the wayside as I explored more music and l got back into video games. I was also a theatre kid, and was getting ready to audition for my first high school play.

Everything changed when my mom passed away on December 5th, 2011, 4 days after her 52nd birthday. My dad made me stay home for a week, and when I came back, all my "friends" refused to talk to me or spend time with me. My depression hit heavier than ever, and I was even lonelier after having had a taste of regular friendship. I spent all my time playing video games and listening to dark, angry music, until June 2012, when I watched a movie called It's Kind of a Funny Story, based on the book by Ned Vizzini while I was sick. It instantly felt like I needed the book in my life, and my dad, thrilled to see me wanting to read again, let me order the book. I fell in love, and to this day, over 8 years later, it's still my favorite book. Soon after, my love of writing came back and hit me and I got back into role playing. I had a role model to look up to who wrote something so relatable to me that it hurt so good, and the video games took a back burner. I was inventing people left and right to see what kind of trouble I could get them into.

My world came screeching to another halt when my newfound role model took his own life on December 19th, 2013. This time, though, instead of backing off from the role playing, I dove deeper into it. I found new friends on the internet and kept making new people. Not long after that, I came out as transgender, and used writing to cope with my dysphoria and strained relationship with my family. Every waking minute I was either role playing or thinking about role playing. I snuck on my phone in class to write replies when the teacher wasn't looking. I wrote replies in my notebook to type up when I got home. I went from short, 3-sentence replies to hundreds of words at a time.

Then, in May 2015, I graduated high school, and I was off to college as a psych major! In the time between, I had graduated to running RP sites as well, and I was constantly writing. My summer was filled with writing, and once I made it to college, I got back into fanfiction, this time on Archive of Our Own. AO3 seemed far more professionally laid out, and it had more freedom of what could be posted. I started writing band fanfiction. I made friends through my fanfiction, now, in addition to RP. It was where I would retreat when homework was too boring or my classes were too much. In November 2015, I participated in my first National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). I instantly found the community I was meant to be in and made many friends that I would come to consider family. Ny first NaNo I came in just shy of 13,000 words on a band fic. I couldn't believe I had managed all that in one month with being a college freshman, starting a new job, and continuing to work on my role playing! Things were great! For the next year, my life was nothing short of amazing. I got a summer job on campus, went to my first Pride, and made more friends.

Once again, my life came to a screeching halt on November 2, 2016. Remember how I mentioned I'd always struggled with mental health issues? Well, I ended up in the hospital for just over 21 hours for suicidal intent. This was pretty much the darkest moment and a turning point in my life. It was also kind of ironic, because my favorite book had to do with much the same thing. After getting out, I dove back into NaNoWriMo for the second time, still working on band fic, and this time, ended up just short of 20,000 words. I was doing more, and using it to take away the anxiety I was feeling in my classes. I was hating my major, and the RPs I was in were falling through, but I had a project to work on. For the first time, I kept working on the project after NaNo was over. Things were good again, and over the summer, I made the decision to change my major from Psychology to Creative Writing, but ultimately had to wait one more term because I was already signed up for classes.

I completed my third NaNoWriMo in 2017 with fewer words than the previous year. But I was committed. I had helped start a Discord for my home region for NaNo and was now spending almost full-time hours volunteering for my region. I finished my last semester as a Psych major and then I made my way home for the holidays, where I continued to write, diving back into fanfic for TV shows and now adding Youtubers to the mix. When I returned to school at the beginning of 2018, I started my new life in all my English classes, including my first writers' workshop, and I fell in love. I was still writing fanfiction, though, while others were writing original fiction, and all that I could think was that I HAD to be a fraud. How could I be a real writer if I was just writing fanfiction for my classes? It was frustrating to think that I was stuck writing something that most people saw as mindless drivel, or even ripoffs of the works and lives of others. After my first term of creative writing, I took some time off from my fiction class, and used that to take a break from anything that wasn't RP.

Fall 2018 brought with it many challenges. For one, my college converted to the semester system, and having to confront a new length of term was difficult. It also brought around an intermediate fiction course for me, as well as a creative nonfiction course. Here, I found something I enjoyed: I was able to write about my own life, instead of the lives of band members. After a while, I got to know the band members, which completely killed my desire to write band fic. Life seemed a lot easier without that urge, and I started writing original fiction. In November 2018, for the first time, I wrote original fiction for my 4th NaNoWriMo, and my word count grew, once more, to just under 22,500 words. It was progress, and I felt great. I finally knew how to work on something original on my own.

Spring 2019 was even harder than I had faced before: I had received the news that I was not getting financial aid, and would not be able to return to school the next year. I was devastated, and determined not to have to return to my dad's house for the following year, back to the small town where I had no prospects. I scrambled to find a job, but nothing worked out, and for the next seven months, I jumped from living situation to living situation, relying on my friends to keep me alive and ending up in a tightly packed studio apartment with 2 friends and their 3 cats.

One of these 7 months was my 5th NaNoWriMo and my second attempt at original fiction, this time trying to use a character I had been RPing with for some 6 years at the time. I started using new writing tools, like 4TheWords, and threw myself into NaNo, using it to deal with the frustrations of everyday life. This was the first time I came so far: 28,611 words! And still... My project stalled out. As a major pantser, I had gone into the project with one developed character, one who only had a name and profession, and the plotline "They fall in love". It was freeing, to have something new to work on that I had no idea where I was headed and that I had someone brand new to create. All this was helping me adjust to the new job I found in September, a job I found myself absolutely loving. It was the best time in the world, all I could ask for. I found a new RP site and made more friends. Come December 31st, I found a new place to live, and was finally living on my own.

Then, my writing on that novel stalled out. I couldn't figure out where to go, or what to do with my characters, and so I dove back into role playing. It was all I could do, really, to keep myself occupied when I wasn't working. Things were looking up: I found out I was returning to school in fall; I loved my job; my roommate and I got along well. And then, things fell apart again, to the point where I had to stay somewhere else for over a month while there were construction issues on my apartment. I was depressed, but RP and writing kept me going. Finally, things settled down, and life seemed well again.

That is, until halfway through March, when COVID-19 ended up basically destroying the world I lived in. I lost my job (live performances during a pandemic are a no-no) and had to move back in with my dad, and, well, here we are. 4 months post job loss, I'm trying to get ready for all online classes, and trying to cope with moving back to the town that I couch surfed to avoid. It's been hard, and writing hasn't come easily. I haven't been able to really focus on anything other than role playing until now, and I still find myself questioning whether I'm REALLY a writer every time I realize that this essay or my RP is the only writing I've done in months. After all, how can I claim to be really dedicated to NaNoWriMo or even my writing in general if I can never finish a project? It's been almost impossible for me to do so in the past. All I've been able to do is come up with yet another idea that I've yet to attempt to actually write, and that has no real plot, and that I'll (probably) never finish, either?

Then I think of why I started to write this. I needed to have some writing to show some people I want to impress, and I started angsting over whether or not I'm actually a writer, and if I'm really cut out for this. And the fact that there are over 2500 words more on the page than there were when I started means that, in spite of all my anxieties, I am a writer. All these words I've put out into the world the last several years would never have come into the world the way I've decided to use them if I wasn't a writer. Even now, as I sit here writing this post, for something that I truly love, I'm reminded that I'm not a writer because I follow XYZ formula, or because I plan things meticulously, or because I have some famous novel out there. I'm a writer because I write. And that's enough.

#essay #2020 #writing #am i really a writer #nanowrimo #life #creative nonfiction

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hoopdiddies · 5 years

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I'm Not Over You // Ben Hardy x Reader (Part 10)

A/N: I am so sorry that I have not been on for a full week. The phone I had used to edit this in broke and I had to buy a new one plus this is the last chapter and apparently the longest, regardless of my recent claims of the previous ones being the longest lmao. I hope this won't disappoint, I couldn't think of a more consistent flow due to the days I've been without my phone to type some ideas in. I hope you guys will enjoy this last part anyway, and thank you so much for supporting this entire series! I have a new series in mind but it's a WIP. Thanks again for all the love! IMPORTANT NOTE: I WILL BE CUTTING A PART IN THIS CHAPTER AND PUTTING IT UNDER A PART 10.1 IMMEDIATELY AFTER I POST THIS FOR THE SAKE OF THE LIMIT. TAGS WILL BE MENTIONED IN THE COMMENTS

Summary for this part: A wedding brought you apart and it will be a wedding that will bring you back together.

Warnings: A good balance of fluff and angst, mention of injuries and alcohol and some long ass writing.

WC: A whopping 10k

Parts: 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

You are painfully a feet away from the door and yet here you are, frozen after having turned 180 degrees only to stumble upon those eyes you had hoped to gaze into again. One swallow from you and you begin gliding along the tiled surface towards him, checking through every pad whether or not he's really awake.

After stopping at his side, you are now certain you're not anywhere close to dreaming. "Ben?" His name leaving your lips like an answered prayer. He's staring back at you with his left eye half-open – taking into account his current sensitivity to light– but with the same energy he exudes everytime you're together.

His chapped lips curl into a smile so slow yet so sweet at the same time; almost an upgrade to his classic 'Benny beam' which you had fun dubbing back in the days. "Y/N..."

And once again, you disrupt the orderly function of your tears and let them gush down, quickly but carefully wrapping your arms around him in bittersweet joy, exclaiming his name thrice into his hospital gown. "You...you bloody idiot! I thought you'd never wake up..."

Having just woken up from a coma, his voice comes out extra breathy and brittle but full of life, chuckling at how you're greeting him back into the conscious world. "Is that...is that how you welcome your best mate back?"

You shake your head ardently, sniffling against his chest and taking in the scent of mint. "Shut up. You frightened us!"

He really wakes up seconds before the clock strikes 'it's too late'. The convenience is hardly believable.

"I'm gonna call the doctor and tell him you're up." You act swiftly on your feet but a grip as strong as you least expected it to be hinders you from taking a step away and you turn around at Ben who's woven his fingers around yours. You give him a concerned yet quizzical look for it.

He sighs deeply, closing his logy eyes for a brief moment before opening them to you– gazing up at you meaningfully as he draws you close with the little, physical strength he has left. "You frightened me, rather."

"What... are you talking about?"

You won't admit it now but the way his fingers are currently snaked around yours could make your heart palpitate any second now.

His green eyes bore into yours effectively, suddenly invalidating your surroundings and making it seem like it's just you and him on the face of the entire planet.

He struggles to swallow before repeating. "You frightened me. You're still leaving..."

His voice crack as he said 'leaving' obliterates the fragments of what was once your soul, punching a gaping hole as a replacement. How is he able to remember your emotional outburst at the after party when he has just woken up and should at least forget a few details?

But then you realize you've been talking to him a lot as he was out of order.

You nod unfortunately, laying your hand on his which is still fondling your other one. His skin has warmed up a notch and that's a progress. You need to clarify this to him again since the last time you did, you both ended up in disarray and in the middle of the road.

"I...I've already told you everything."

"I don't wanna- I don't wanna lose you."

"Ben..." You cut off as your hopeless gazes meet like lightning, his irises darkening at the manner in which your eyes have transfixed on his.

"Please..."

Worried that his stable condition might shift due to the rising agitation he's showing, you sit beside him and bring his knuckles up to your lips, hearing the beeping of the heart monitor quicken which sounds incredibly alarming, an indication that his heart rate has elevated due to his induced stress.

You press your lips into his pale knuckles with your eyes thoroughly shut hoping to soothe him through it, tears trickling from your cheeks and onto the back of his hand as you choke on your words. "Ben...come on. You know I can't stay, you have to understand that."

He slowly shakes his head, biting his bottom lip as he grimaces at the bitterness, softly but agonizingly begging for you to reconsider. "You have to. Please, love. I need you to. I want you to."

Do the short term effects include stubbornness? Cause he's really determined to get you to stay no matter what. Joe must be tortured with waiting by now and at any given moment, he's bound to consider barging in.

You kind of hope he would. God, you should be out there notifying his attending physician about his regained consciousness and for goodness sake, Rosy ought to be here for this. She can't just wander out whenever she likes when her fiance's an injured man struggling to recover.

While keeping his trembling knuckles close to your lips, you move closer and question him, your voice downsizing to an unsteady whisper. "Why? Ben, I'm leaving primarily to pursue a career. Not just because of some heartbreak, this is a dream come true. I'm finally a stair close to reaching it. Why aren't you at least happy for me?"

"I am..."

"Then you have to let me go."

"It's not that easy..."

"Do you think it's any more easier for me? No! But this is what must be and you have to trust me on this," it's as if your heart is in your mouth from feeling so harrowed by all of this, but you have to make him see that this is the only way and that it is also important that you leave, "I'm sorry if I said some things that night that weren't exactly the way I felt. But I have to leave. You're getting married to Rosy soon, you know. Don't worry about me..."

He wishes he could just sit up with ease and cage you in his arms but all his incapacities at the moment are inhibiting him from doing so. Knowing he can't do anything about it emotionally deflates him.

He withdraws his hand a little and presses it to your flushed cheek, kneading your delicate skin as he shakes his head gently to prevent the dressing around his head from becoming less taut.

"I think I know well enough who I want to marry now..."

You can't distinguish what present beating has accelerated; the heart monitor's, your own heart, or at best both. But you're sure as hell his words weren't a product of your own imagination, your eyes drifting from one of his orbs to the other in a daze, looking for any sign that would prove that it's not you he's directed it at but it does otherwise.

"What are you saying?"

The skin of the front of his neck moves along as he swallows dryly to assure you the realness of his words, his thumb traveling up your face to wipe the moist corner of your eye. "I'm a bloody wanker for taking so long to see...that you're the one who has always kept me grounded, who has always made me feel more like myself. Even as far as making me feel like I don't need all this fame to lead a good life, " his breath shortens between each sentence and your jaw goes slack as he exploits the atmosphere to continue, eyes buried deep into yours as if the space in between doesn't even matter anymore.

"I'm an idiot...for not realising sooner that it's always been you."

"Ben-"

"I love you too, Y/N L/N, more than the way I used to. How could I ever be happy without you? We promised neither of us is going anywhere, right? "

Definitely not in the context of mere friendship. For a moment, you make it your quest to find your voice to react and you do.

"You can't. You can't- I mean, what about Rosy? Surely your feelings for her wouldn't just go away like that-"

"It's been doused for so long with the ones for you growing," he's thumb is now gingerly stroking circles on your cheek, the green in his eyes gleaming, "that dance at the after party put me in my place and I asked you if you were still coming to my wedding because...it was my way of telling you how I felt at that moment."

Despite the idea coming off a little incoherent, you immediately get the bottom line. It would've been like coming to your own wedding. You study his gaze confusingly before coming to believe that he actually does love you back in the way you always have.

The words have been built up from the moment he whipped out his share of the polaroid and reestablished his promise as the way he felt towards you took a dramatic turn.

Yet no matter how badly you want to stay and finally work some things out with him, he's engaged and you're leaving in 45 minutes.

And what of Rosy? Hopefully Ben wouldn't think of just fragmenting her like that.

Your deafening silence puts Ben under a heap of worry as he painfully anticipates for your reaction. You shake your head at the unlikelihood of your present situations, bringing your eyes shut as you respond in the only way you can without any words needed to express how sorry you are and how much you've waited for him to say it.

Against your better judgement, you lean your body towards him and catch him off guard with the most bittersweet, goodbye kiss anyone could ever exercise on a moment's notice.

You can tell his positive response with how rapid the heart monitor pulses are becoming and how his lips have begun moving passionately against yours.

His eyes flutter shut in return, tangling his fingers in your hair as he dares to deepen the kiss, eager to feel every inch of your lips as he knows that you still won't be staying after this.

Wait for me to come home...

You pull away catching your breaths as you rest your forehead on his, his hand stroking the back of your hair for the little time you have left in your hands.

This feels so wrong yet so right at the same time. Howbeit strong the desire to stay put, you break away before the spark between either of you becomes magnetizing enough to change your mind.

"Please tell me where you're going...please." He pleads yet you refuse to tell him where you're headed to avoid a fuss, shaking your head apologetically with the space between you both increasing.

"I'm so sorry." You whisper, retreating quickly to the door as you ignore his broken pleas and just in time to be welcomed by the doctor, Rosy and some nurses who are here to conduct another assessment. Your pulse picks up at the sight of an uneasy Rosy along with an extra glimpse of a tuft of red and a head of blonde hair overtopping from behind her, eager to check up on whatever is occurring.

Joe and Lucy.

You clear your throat as you utter quickly to the doctor, unable to set your gaze steady. "He's awake." Your update stirs them to hasten on their steps inwards and you don't bother to stop to give Rosy a glance as she brushes by you, with you feeling the slightest, if not an immense amount of guilt for kissing her fiance– your best friend, who now has to make a troubling choice in choosing between you and her. Most importantly, you wouldn't dare to contend with Rosy over this, you'd rather let it happen naturally and see where it would lead but that's the least of your priorities.

You've whizzed a meter past Joe and Lucy but freeze in your spot at Joe's frail call of your name, your shoulders relaxing after a brief pause. "Y/N...how did- how did it go?"

You remain static in your spot, just wanting to leave the building and basically see past everything.

"Let's just go."

Of course he and Lucy half expected your last conversation to be balanced on a scale of nonchalant to vehement but it went off the boundary of vehemence. With one more look at the closed door, the two catch up with you on your way out with a plan on revisiting Ben on their way back from the airport.

You lengthen the sleeve of your sweater and dab your eyes with it, striding towards the car and slipping into passenger's seat gracefully with the two trailing from behind. Once they climb in after you, they begin bombarding you with questions you'd expect them to drop but being so exhausted from all of drama just lessens your likelihood of elaborating your answers. With a few questions dismissed, you ask Joe to just step on it and he complies sadly.

Lucy gives you a sympathetic, lopsided smile and however stagnant your expression is at the moment, you return the favor as the car accelerates on the road ahead.

You bother to give the distancing hospital one last look; giving him one last look.

At the same time the doctors are asking Ben some questions and performing a few physical tests on him, you make it to the airport with some time to spare. Joe and Lucy accompany you into the waiting area agreeing to stick around just until your flight number is announced.

Propping your luggage bag against a vacant seat next to the ones Joe and Lucy are seated on, you dig through your pocket and pull your phone out to check if there are any calls you've slept on. So far nothing of the sort but a dozen texts from friends and acquaintances wishing you the best on your flight to Spain, though you still have to return to London to collect your essentials.

Their words coax a small smile on your lips and after pressing the button to your home screen, the wallpaper brings a small tear to your eye– you and Ben with your arms wrapped around each other beaming goofily at the shutter of the camera.

In this instance, you begin wondering why photos and pictures

have become such a recurring emblem in your friendship. Joe and Lucy notice the sadness spring out of your eyes and cloud your features as you gaze one last time at your phone, and they instantly figure out what you were looking at. Lucy gets up and turns you around softly by the shoulder, prompting you to talk it out to them prior to leaving. If it unloads the stresses you're under then you agree to it, telling them what went on inside the room not too long ago.

Upon mentioning the bit where Ben confessed to you and was insistent on not letting you leave, Joe breathes out a firm, "I knew it" and Lucy shakes her head incredulously at Ben's 'perfect' timing but overall they're both glad he's opened his eyes– in a metaphorical and physical sense– to the person who has always been worthy of that spot in his life. As your conversation comes to a close, the announcement of the boarding of your flight number limits your bittersweet goodbyes however you do promise that you'll call them as soon as you touchdown.

"You better do well out there! Don't forget to call us every once in a while. Or everyday, damn it!" Joe calls out after blowing multiple kisses to you, he and Lucy bidding you an effective farewell. You wave back at them with a reassuring grin before disappearing into the crowd of bustling passengers, huffing sadly underneath your breath as you trail your finger smoothly across your bottom lip– where Ben had left his precious, goodbye mark for you. Something you ought to hold on to dearly for the moments you'll be missing out on.

Many months later

During your first day in the University of Barcelona, you could've sworn it was all but a dream and at any given moment you could've awakened; but it wasn't. It was right before your eyes and you were standing upon the solid concrete that held those opportunities. In the first days you were but a foreigner; merely wandering around the campus with your textbooks in hand making your journey to the lab and cafeteria a noble quest. Like your life depended on finding your way through every twist and turn on a day to day basis, asking fellow students where particular rooms were as you struggled to maintain good eye contact.

It was an everyday uphill battle for everyone.

However things have improved immensely in the following months, you have gained new friends in most of your classes, developed a good sense of direction around the campus and you've scored solid 90's in your classes which you thought would be bumpy the first time but attainable anyway through nights spent with ounces of coffee, extensive reading and episodes of academic agony.

Despite the pressures in your first year, you still keep in touch with your friends and family back home, especially with Joe and Lucy to whom you had once swore to always call. They're glad to know you've been at your peak in the past few months plus they wouldn't stop making a fuss about how much they miss you and long to have some sort of reunion once you decide to go back for a break. They've been well too– Joe's planning on producing a new movie although he's not certain with the details yet, Gwilym has talked to you as well and he's thriving with new projects which you were quick to congratulate him on and Lucy - oh, darling Lucy- apparently Rami had taken her out of the country again and popped the question out of nowhere just two months after you left.

Of course, when she told you the news the hot brew you had nearly swallowed came spewing out of your mouth in surprise thereby catching the attention of the people you were with at that time. But that was out of happiness too, she's invited you to her wedding –a few months after breaking to you the news of her engagement– which is to take place two weeks from now, something you're unfortunately unsure of attending since you are steadfast on getting heaps of classwork done.

But you promised to update her if ever you found an opening on that week to squeeze in a flight.

"Aren't you coming with us? They're waiting downstairs and it's our only night off this week. " Ava, your roommate and closest friend among the others, asks as she slips on her cardigan, ready to leave for a night out. You've got a book propped up in front of you and you were just getting immersed in the lines you've taken your eyes off of. "Er, it's kind of a cold night out. You girls have fun anyway."

"You sure?"

You nod, flipping your pen in your fingers. "Just bring me home a smoothie while you're at it."

"Get your butt off the chair and do it yourself!" She whines as she throws a nearby ball of cotton at you and you giggle lightheartedly, wishing her and the girls good luck as she heads out, shutting the door behind her.

You're just relieved they can communicate fluently with you or you never would've gotten around the city easily. Just as you begin turning your attention back to your book, you suddenly lose the interest to continue and just close it for the night, picking your phone up and tossing yourself on the bed with a small jounce as you land.

You shift on your spot as you check through your messages, emails, some posts from friends and whatnot to pass the hour, eventually noticing a message from an unknown number sent just earlier today. Curiosity peaks in you and you don't think twice before clicking on it to read.

You've changed your number weeks prior anyway so it could be from someone you know whose phone number you haven't asked for yet.

Hey, Y/N.

I know this is out of the blue but it's been a while since I've heard from you and in all honesty I didn't even bother to contact you the first time out of the assumption that you might have busied yourself a lot and don't have the time to check your phone. But I've become so worried then that I had to decide to ask you how you're doing. How you're holding up wherever you are. If you're not overworking yourself since you tend to do that a lot. I know it's been months since we've last talked to each other but I just miss you. I miss seeing you, having those late night conversations that got you late in the morning for work, hanging out and your voice. I kind of want to call you but you might be occupied and I don't wanna be a bit of a bother.

I miss you so much, love. Every single day. I'm trying to distract myself with the new project I've taken but you're just impossible to sleep on. When will you ever be back?

Why does the tone of the message seem familiar?

You reread along the last lines and your heart comes to a stop at one word that gives away the possible identity of the sender.

The lingering silence in the room making it possible for you to hear the elevated throbbing of your heart. It's been a while since he's slipped into your mind and even until now, the love you have for him is still flourishing wholly. Even when you had your mind set on your studies, your heart unknowingly had some other priorities.

So has he called things off with Rosy because if he hasn't yet, the tone of the message wouldn't come off as sincere as this.

That's a question you don't need answered for the meantime however you wonder how he was able to text you when you've pretty much changed your number.

You hope he's fully recovered from that head trauma though it's been nearly a year since that happened. Your thumbs hover over the keyboard, thinking about replying.

Hey. Ben if this is you, it's great to hear from you again.

Your eyes dart to the send button, taking a brief pause before hitting it and discarding your phone to the side at least hoping he wouldn't respond immediately because then it would lead to a conversation that might just turn awkward.

Never have you had an awkward talk with him so it's something you wouldn't want to acquaint yourself with.

You grab your pillow and press your cheek against it in uncertainty.

"Don't even start...thinking about him." You mumble groggily into the pillow and lay flat on your back as you begin wallowing in your own doubt, your eyes becoming droopy at every second spent on staring at the pale ceiling with your right arm and leg thrown over the pillow like you're never gonna let it go.

You never even considered seeing someone else because deep down, you still hoped for him. Though you had exchanged some stares and 'interactive' words with a few guys in your classes, none of them ever came or would ever come close to Ben.

- - - - - - -

This week's lab work gave your brain a mild whiplash with all the hustling you were required to do.

Every morning, you either had breakfast or not and it all depended on how early you had to be there. Provided that you had to take off in the early hours, you had to skip a good bite nearly every morning; plus you were all being assessed closely by your professor and so a downshifted movement was every bit as unacceptable.

At least now that you had just gotten off from your last period you can reward yourself with some good Mediterannean food that should be the ultimate dinner of your night.

You and Ava are seated around a table laughing and enjoying each other's companies with your plates and glasses half-filled with leftovers after a quick chow down, but your attention is quickly divided as a text from Lucy surfaces. She's asked you about your availability next week and you ought to re-check your schedule for it. Once again upon pressing your home screen button you can't help but let a longing smile take form on your lips at your wallpaper and with you being oblivious to Ava noticing, to your demise, she takes a sly peek at what you're looking at and disrupt your train of thought.

"Who's that?" Ava asks with a cheeky grin to which you quickly recoil with your phone held loosely in your hand.

"Nothi- no-one. "

As nosy as she is tenacious, she swiftly

snatches your phone from your weak grip and dares to unlock it, the wallpaper of you and Ben making her swoon in delight. "Y/N, how on Earth did you get Ben Hardy to hold you for a photo like this?" Squealing like a schoolgirl, Ava grills you with an inquisitive look. You've never bothered to tell her or any of your new found friends anything about your friendship with him and so now she thinks you're a fan who merely got luck in her favour for a picture.

If only she knew.

"I don't know? How'd you know it's him?" You speak up your mind, a fleeting blush crawling its way to your face.

" Bohemian Rhapsody was a hit, of course. Queen rocks and I was all for it," she gesticulates as a matter of fact and winks playfully, "and later on we were all for the cutie who played Roger Taylor."

You try your very best not to let a single squeak of laughter escape your lips as she begins drooling over him. What are the chances of her finding out, right? You would tell her about it and have her meet him however your situation is too dire to act in. Come to think of it, you haven't received a reply to your reply to his message. He could be juggling a lot in his hands at the moment, perhaps.

"Cutie. Yeah, he's cute. But the guy seems clumsy enough to drop your heart." Here you are throwing a sportive shade all the way from Barcelona.

As if she's taken a fake offense at your comment, Ava overdoes a gasp. "Is that how you say thanks?"

You respond with a one-shoulder shrug, your voice neutral to keep yourself from giving away the screams of your heart. "I'm just saying. What are we doing next week by the way?"

"As I've been told by Mr. Gomez, the school will be hosting an array of meetings with the BOD and so we're given a time off."

You blink thrice at her. "Seriously? Like a week?"

She forks a tapa from her plate and bites down on it, nodding at you. "Three days max." So you don't have the entire week off, but that's great. Given that you had told Lucy you'd update her about your availability during that time and now that you have a few days to spare, you're conditioned to go. You quickly get up from your chair and excuse yourself from Ava, making your way to the terrace to dial Lucy who you hope is reachable at the meantime.

"Hello?"

"Lucy, hey!"

"Y/N, thank goodness you called!"

"About my weekly update?" You bite down on your lip in excitement, swinging your leg back and forth aimlessly.

"What about it?"

"I'm free next week."

- - - - - - -

"And cut! Okay everyone, lunch break. We're not cleaning up the rubble yet so we'll leave it there for the next scene." At the sound of the clapperboard slamming, all stunts have been ceased until the next roll and the main actors retreat individually to their own trailers, one of which is Ben who is walking back within beads of sweat dripping from his forehead as a result of a car stunt he had to perform on set. He's glad he can finally swing his left arm with unbridled ease after disposing of the sling just two months back although he's left with a few scars; the primary one on his forehead from the trauma he had.

A PA hands him a bottle of water and he thanks her for the save, cracking the lid off and chugging away. He waves at his fellow co-stars before entering his trailer and slipping out of his sweaty shirt, dumping it on the edge of the bed.

He places the bottle on a coffee table and swipes his phone from his drawer, being welcomed by a heap ton of messages, one days older than the next. He scratches his head at the result of his constant business; not being able to find time to reply thereby impregnating his inbox with miscellaneous messages.

Three from Lucy which he is 'obligated' to check first and foremost. Ben's lips twitch to an uneven smirk as he reads her messages, amused that he's been invited to her wedding, along with other people.

He replies with a simple yet sincere, "Thanks, I'll mark it on my calendar" before proceeding to put his phone down on the bed. He sighs, taking out his wallet from his drawer and opening it to pick out something, the dual polaroid he's folded in catching his eye and all of his attention; and for a moment, his heart stops.

He pulls it out from its slot and unfolds it, the tape used to stick it together crinkled but still an effective adhesive. Without taking his eyes off of the polaroids, he plops down on the edge of the bed and wipes his forehead, hiding the ridiculous smile he now has on his face behind his hand. The memory still does things to him apparently and he has never let go since the day you kissed him goodbye. He can still feel the touch of your lips linger on his and admittedly, he traces his finger across the spot every time you cross his mind. The things you had said to him while he was unconscious ultimately stuck in his mind and he just longs to hear your voice once more. There are multiple times he forgets that you're not around to vent to or watch a good game of rugby with or do whatever you used to do together, no matter the trouble.

Generally speaking, he just yearns to be with you.

On a side note, he had long called things off with Rosy, exactly a day after he had awakened. Of course, she didn't take it easy but he knew damn well who he loved.

A heavy sigh leaves Ben's lips as he lowers his head at the frustration he feels for never owning up to his feelings.

She probably has some other guy in her life now. What are my chances? He thinks dryly to himself. "Hey, Ben? Break is over." The assistant director knocks on his trailer door and he tells him that he'll be out in a few. Tucking the polaroids back into his wallet, he snags the fresh shirt that's been laid out on the sofa across him and pulls it on, combing his blond hair back with his fingers before heading out to get the day done without realizing that he has skipped your reply.

With the days leading up to Rami and Lucy's wedding, they have never been more busier about any other event in their entire lives. They've decided on a beach wedding and to hold the reception there as well. Lucy has made you one of her bridesmaids yet you declined at first because that would mean you would have to fly in early for a practice down the aisle but she's assured you that practice wouldn't be necessary. She has taken care of the dresses and such and all you need to do is just fly down to California, again, to attend. Speaking of dresses, you bought her a little wedding gift yourself. It's something small but it's bound to suit her look.

You've told Ava about the wedding– excluding essential details like whose wedding it is specifically– and she's a little disheartened that you wouldn't be around to hang out with for the week but you've reassured her that you won't be long; considering you'll also be reviewing for upcoming tests.

"Okay, so it's a beach wedding? Drastic times call for some drastic measures, chica!" She exclaims and throw her arms up in the air, springing out of her bed and rummaging through her wardrobe as you throw what you can into one, just one luggage bag.

She pulls out a black two-piece bikini from the drawers and upon beholding it, you feel your eyes burn to a crisp. "There won't be any swimming, as far as I'm concerned."

"You'll never know. Just toss this in, it might come in handy." You swear you saw a mischievous glint in her eye as she said that. You press your lips into a tentative, hard line before surrendering, grabbing the pair from her and stuffing it in the unreachable depths of your luggage.

"Happy?" She nods vigorously and you sigh in defeat, zipping your bag close.

The day came and the jet lag is still real. You've flown in a day prior, exactly the day of Lucy's bridal shower and well, a literal bone crushing hug welcomed you on your way into the arrival area. She looked really fresh and bloomy before you arrived but afterwards, it was a messy head of hair and a waste of makeup, not to give it a stretch but it was. She's shed a few tears from how long you've been gone and you couldn't help but shed a few yourself, awfully missing her and the rest.

She's prepped a hotel for all her bridesmaids to stay in and you had some thoughts on how much she's spent but it's her wedding so who are you to question? As she helps you settle in your room, she pauses and brings you in for another big hug.

"Aww, Luce." You chuckle over her shoulder, rubbing her back.

She snaps her eyes shut and hums. "Oh Y/N, I've missed you. We all have. I know we call a lot even from a distance but it's been so long since we've last seen each other."

You sigh heavily, still holding her close.

"LAX. Yeah. It's only been a year but it feels like forever," you pull away deliberately, hands still firm on her shoulders with a heartfelt gaze, "Congratulations, Luce. You and Rami better make wonderful babies."

She smacks your arm lightly as an appropriate response to your little tease. "Shut it. Tell me everything."

"Everything?"

"Yeah," she planks down on the edge of the duvet and crosses her legs, leaning her body forward, "how's Spain? How's the school? The agony? Been seeing someone?" The last bit catches you by surprise; as if she's emphasized the question enough for it to be the main thing you have to answer. You disregard it for a few seconds until she brings it up again. You turn to give her an incredulous brow lift, something she returns with a curious grin. "Are you seeing anyone?"

In your mind, she should know that you've only ever had one guy in your heart but knowing Lucy, she just wants to hear you say it yourself .

You huff underneath your breath, planting your hands on your hips as you perpend on saying the following. "Spain is amazing. School is both heaven and hell. The agony exists in every divot, and no, I'm not seeing anyone."

"That's good."

You glance sideways awkwardly. "Okay? Is what good?"

"Everything, except the agony part, especially the last."

"I'm not seeing anyone?" You repeat and she nods with a blossoming smile. You don't say anything else since it's obvious that she's keen on letting you talk about Ben but today's not the day that you do. It's the day before her wedding and every present air particle should be all about her.

"Regardless, Miss Boynton. This week is all about you so," you alter your stance and skip to your luggage bag, unzipping one compartment and pulling out your wedding gift for her, "it's not much but I figured this looks better if it's on you." You hand her the palm-sized object and she lets out a little gasp at what you got her. It's a hair comb adorned with two, white roses and pale rhinestones that glimmer under the spilling light.

Something that would upgrade her sun-kissed beauty on a clear day. You try it on her and step back to picture her with the full ensemble as she walks down the sandy aisle tomorrow. "Good lord, look at you all grown up." You pretend to tear up and she tilts her head back in a burst of laughter, walking to you with welcoming arms and green eyes that are nearly brimming with tears.

"Oh I love it, Y/N! I knew something was missing in the outfit but you've completed it. It's perfect." She mumbles happily against your shoulder and her contentment tickles your insides.

"I'm glad you like it."

After giving you a look of what you'll be wearing tomorrow and a few, friendly introductions to the rest of the bridesmaids, the bridal shower is where everything is at. Ranging from colorful streamers to champagne to cake strippers, the latter putting you under uneasy situations when you just wished to enjoy your drink and your own space. At the same hour you're enjoying yourselves, on the other side of town is where Rami and the boys are on full swing with his bachelor's party. It has the same vibe, only without the strippers and streamers and constant belly-aching movement.

You just pray none of you will be waking up with hangovers at the hour you'll be fixing yourselves.

And indeed none of you have.

You've all waken up like ladies but clumsily as the realization of the time nudges you out of your beds. Ceremony starts at 9 and you're 5 hours early to ensure that everything progresses smoothly.

It's a condensed hustle within your separate rooms; the pattern of getting ready ever so similar. Shower, makeup, hair, dress, and retouch; all done in complete unison. With all the bridesmaids, including yourself, conditioned outfit-wise, you all gather in Lucy's room to assist in psyching her up for the big day. Her mom's in too to witness every precious second of seeing her daughter fly off on her own.

She's still in her robe but her hair and makeup have been beautifully done by one of her makeup artist friends. She's about to step into her gown, a sight the girls are just dying to see.

"Alright, Lucy. Let me just zip up the back." Says one of the girls who has helped with her makeup as Lucy stands confidently but nervously in front of the mirror, scanning her reflection. You fold your hands together in anticipation, gasping as she turns around slowly with the skirt of the gown gracefully following her turning motion. Her radiance could put the sun's to complete shame.

"Well, say something, girls." She prompts with a chuckle and as expected, it is followed by the uproarious squeal of everyone in the room including yourself. Rami is guaranteed to have his gaze super-glued to Lucy the moment she reveals herself. After having a dozen compliments shower her, you and the rest of the girls retreat outside to give her and her mother a time to talk. As you lean against the door frame, you fish out your phone from your purse and check your messages; coming across your reply to Ben which hasn't received another one from him yet.

You wipe off the downhearted smirk on your expression as the girls' murmurs increase as Lucy steps out holding a bouquet of flowers with her mom on her arm and the edge of her gown lifted by two assistants. She turns her head to find you and crooks her finger at you upon seeing you inclined against the frame, letting you walk by her side.

You notice she's sporting the gift you've given her and the sentimentality makes you want to tear up but in doing so would ruin your makeup and so you decide to save it for the kiss.

You lean in close to her and whisper in a flat but playful tone, your words making her giggle. "Rami's totally getting it."

"I'm not the only one who's getting it today." She winks at you and leaves you questioning what she meant. She made it sound like it's something you have to find out for yourself later on. The weather is fine and not as humid as you thought; the ideal atmosphere to marry under. The bridesmaids are to ride in a separate vehicle that will follow up behind the one Lucy and her mom will be taking. To say that your ride with the the girls to the resort turned out fun and noisy is an understatement; you couldn't be any more conscious about smudging your makeup as you busted your guts laughing at your topics. The driver had given you weirded out looks but you know he was just trying to feign a laugh. By the time you arrive at the resort, a gust of wind from the seaside welcomes you out and nearly messes up your hair though you've put it up in an elegant bun with your tendrils hanging loosely from the sides of your head. You traverse closely behind the rest of the girls and find the venue nearly packed with attendees in their most sophisticated dresses and suits. The altar is set meters away from the shoreline and a red carpet has been rolled out to serve as the aisle between lines of pillars decorated with tropical flowers. A gentle music piece is being played by a violinist and a cellist situated on the left side of the altar with waiters serving some four-seasoned refreshments for the guests to enjoy as they wait.

With all these people around, you can't help but wonder if either Joe or Gwilym made it. You haven't contacted Joe about arriving, given that you wanted to surprise him with your arrival. You peer down at your wristwatch and it's only an hour before the ceremony starts. Rami's nowhere to be seen and you badly want to congratulate him on this, but either way, he's probably attending to some other people and so you put that chance on hold.

As you had wished for yourself to be void of any mishaps today, you bumping into a tall figure as you turn around to walk away deters that possibility and mortifies you for a moment.

"Oh man, I'm so sorry-" You quickly apologize but cease as a familiar face meets your lifting gaze.

"What- Y/N?!"

"J-Joe?!"

"Y/N!"

"Joe!" After shamelessly screaming each other's names, you put no thought into the action of jumping into his arms for a tight hug. He's crushing you in one anyway. "Oh my g- what- when did you arrive, you little sneak? " He exclaims and lets you go for a split second, careful not to ruin your satin outfit. "You're going to murder me for this but yesterday."

His brows furrow in disbelief as his mouth hangs agape. "How dare you not tell me? I mean, I knew Lucy would invite you but...actually how dare you both for not telling me." He whines in a joking manner and you respond with a quick shrug. "Surprise, surprise."

"You sure did and wow," his eyes travel up and down your outfit and you click your tongue at him as he does, pointing your finger to your eyes that are aimlessly roving around his suit in the same manner. "Hey Mazzello, eyes here."

"Hypocrite, eyes here." He mimics your action mockingly and you take eye-rolling to the next level.

"Damn it Joe, I've missed you."

"Missed you too. Been a year but it feels like a decade and you look beautiful, by the way, in that outfit as a bridesmaid." He places his hand on your upper back and leads you into the lounging area that is close to the pool but not far from the event area.

"You don't look so bad yourself for a groomsman. "

"How'd you guess?"

"This is Rami's wedding. I'd know."

You got an hour to talk before you take your positions anyway so catching up would be vital. You settle down on the sofa and fit your talk into the time limit, telling each other about what went on in your lives for the past few months. A lot of interesting stuff has happened to Joe and he's absolutely lively as he talks about it however yours hasn't been much, just adaptation to a new environment and the academic agony. Your talk takes an interesting turn as Joe asks you a question related to something you haven't thought about for a few days.

"Since you're pretty much still on the market, you ever think about...you know."

Your brows crease at him. "What?"

"You know," he lifts his shoulder in a half shrug, "Ben."

"Oh." Is the only thing you can say. The answer is pretty clear, you do think about him but not on a daily basis. He comes across your mind when you've drifted off into oblivion with your thoughts or when something that may remind you of him catches your eye.

"Sometimes I guess. But not as deep as I used to."

"I know you miss him, Y/N, and he misses you too. Believe me, he tells me everytime he calls."

You cast him a short gaze but look back at your fingers, a little comforted by the thought and it motivates you to ask. "Is he still with Rosy?"

Joe scoffs, mildly amused and wholly relieved at the contrary. "That's the good news. He's broken things off with her long ago. Just a day after he regained consciousness."

"Really?" You won't admit it but part of you feels bad for her.

"Yeah and I'm not spoiling you the rest," he rises from his spot on the sofa and reaches out for your hand, pulling you up gracefully. "The thing's about to start." He gestures to the chairs that are beginning to get occupied by the people as the priest arrives. You walk back out alongside him, leaning in to ask out of curiosity. "What do you mean you won't spoil me the rest?"

"You'll see, now go skedaddle to Lucy. She needs her crew." He pats your shoulder with a crooked smile on and you sigh inwardly, waving at him as you divert paths; with you headed to where the rest of the bridesmaids and the bride herself are gathered.

"Gwilym! You're just on time." Spotting Gwilym making his way to join Sami – Rami's brother– at the front row of chairs on the right wing as one of the groomsmen, Joe greets him with a brief hug and takes his place next to him. Sami greets the two men as well, exchanging some remarks before being joined by Ben who had been caught in traffic on his way. "Benny!"

"Ben!"

"Hey, you guys! Am I late? Did I miss the vows?" He asks with a hint of irony as he takes the spot between Gwil and Joe, shaking hands with Sami at the same time. Not a minute longer they are joined by the remaining groomsmen and Rami who has finally garnered up the physical strength to stand on the altar without breaking a sweat.

"You got this, mate. Just don't look down. Your boutonniere looks nice if I might add." Gwilym simultaneously advises and compliments an already nervous Rami hoping to appease him yet earns a quick yet teasing smack from Joe for making a small joke out of the situation. To show them that he's actually better on every possible level, Rami stands tall and rests his hands on his front to exude that confidence and excitement of being minutes away from watching his soon-to-be Mrs. Malek grace the aisle with her presence.

The guests simmer down with their chatters as the first ones who will be walking down the aisle take their positions. The musicians stop playing as they wait for the cue to initiate the main piece in accordance with the first walk.

Among the ones that will be walking before Lucy's big entrance is you and though you'll be joined by your fellow bridesmaids, it somehow just quakes your nerves, tightening your grip around the small bouquet of flowers you've been given as a prop.

You can't understand why you're feeling nervous; you're not the one that's getting married but you just don't know why. The musicians are given the cue and they begin playing a familiar song, something contemporary but heart-achingly romantic.

"You okay?" Asks a fellow bridesmaid and you nod, telling her that you're a bit anxious. She reassures you with a smile and it unknots your tension. The guests and attendees turn their heads towards the threshold of the aisle and the sponsors begin walking down first. Next are some of their relatives, then you– the bridesmaids. There are at least seven of you and you come in fifth. As you begin sauntering down the aisle, you feel relaxed yet piercing eyes trail your movement yet you beg to differ and keep your head up with a mellow smile on your face as you keep your eyes ahead, your unsteady gaze fleeting from the altar and to the groomsmen seated at the front row of the right wing.

Your eyes land on Joe and Gwilym who start giving you bright beams as they notice you in an instant. If you weren't trying to walk sophisticatedly with all these people staring, you would let out the loudest, most awkward giggle. It's nice to see Gwilym again though. Just as you begin turning your unwavering attention away, you take a subtle double take at a certain pair of eyes that has found you long before you found them. You are meters away from reaching your end of the aisle and yet it seems as if you've only started walking with how the music has turned up and how you're exchanging astonished yet longing gapes with Ben who knows he is seconds away from exploding with who he's finally seeing. You're here as a bridesmaid for Lucy and yet ridiculously, you feel like the bride.

Of course he's here. Of course he's one of the groomsmen. Of course Lucy and Joe wouldn't tell you. Of course this is the thing Joe didn't want to spoil about. Why didn't you think about any of this earlier? It would've saved you the shock regardless of it being so obvious.

You gather the strength to break away from the trance you've put yourself in and stand next to the girls, using up all the willpower in your body to avoid risking a peek at the groomsmen– at one groomsman rather. It's the same struggle for Ben who is every bit as stubborn as the next person and does the contrary, going as far as tilting his head to one side just to cop a longer view of you, an action Joe notices and slaps his hand for. Ben winces a bit and gives Joe a questioning look for two reasons.

"Save it." Joe whispers flatly and yet Ben dismisses it and feels his breath hitch in his throat as the sight of you appeases his worries yet makes his heart run a mile. With the ring bearers and flower girls at the edge of their walk, everyone rises up at the reveal of Lucy. The music slows down to fit the pace of her walk with her mother by her side, her eyes finding Rami's and establishing a home in them. You glance at both of them and feel your heart inflate at how strong their love for each other is, something that usually only exists in novels and fiction. Lucy's eyes well with joyful tears as she reaches the altar and her mother finally surrenders her hand to Rami.

It's too much.

With you being too distracted by the spark between Rami and Lucy, you overlook Ben's unbreakable gaze at you. The moment you grew a smile, it invalidated everything else surrounding him.

The priest requests everyone to finally sit down and witness the lifetime commitment blossom. Throughout the ceremony, you can't help but feel his eyes sear through you yet you stand your ground and fix your gaze at the happenings on the altar, briefly failing every once in a while by finding yourself looking back at him. The moment has come for them to exchange their vows and you listen intently at every word sincerely uttered by the two. There are parts in their vows that make the people giggle and tear up at the emotion put into every word expressed. It seems surreal to you that the moment Rami tells Lucy that he's never going anywhere, your gaze meets Ben's and it becomes undeniably bewitching, Rami's words acting as a call back to your promises. As the rings are exchanged and the "I do's" are said, the priest pronounces them husband and wife and you tear your focus away from Ben just in time for Rami and Lucy to share their first kiss as a married couple. Cheers and applauds fill the air and even more tears of joy are shed at the start of their lifetime bond. They both couldn't look any more blissful, with the pair of them giddily flaunting their rings with grins so radiant and bright it undermines the power of the sun upon them.

The cheers and excitement continue at the reception which, of course, is hosted at the very same place. After the ceremony– you, the girls and Lucy took off to the rooms you've booked in the resort for the meantime to change into the appropriate apparel to match the vibe of the venue and even the venue itself. Rami and the boys drove back to their respective hotels to change as well and it was a bit hard for the newly weds to go their separate ways for a few hours just to change clothes. Now that you've all rejoined for the reception, lively doesn't even begin to cut it. It's just like any other wedding reception and like any other wedding reception, it's upbeat, smooth and a little haywire on the egdes. After going through with dinner and a couple of toasts and remarks about the funny side of Rami and Lucy's relationship, the dance floor is open for business. At first glance, the girls take you for someone who is in need of a lot acquainting with the dance floor and they're right; because of that they haul you in themselves and you end up enjoying moving around to the music. You decide to refreshen yourself with a glass of iced tea before returning to your fun. One gulp is all takes to replenish the energy lost and you turn around to head back but freeze in your spot at the sight of Joe with his hand out, asking you for a dance.

"Seriously?" You're not surprised but your brows shoot up in question.

"It's my way of saying 'I need to talk to you'. "

"We can do that outside." You gesture to the vacant space yet Joe insists that he dances with you as you talk. You purse your lips together, letting him take your hand and he pulls you along with him almost too abruptly, eliciting a ticklish squeal from you.

"Don't do that!" You whine as you both settle among the multitude of dancing people. He lowers his head in laughter and twirls you under his arm, drawing you close afterwards. You rest one hand on his shoulder as he holds up the other. "Where's the fun in talking outside now, huh?"

"Alright," you grin ridiculously, spotting Rami and Lucy in each other's arms as they slow dance near the mini stage, looking and feeling at one with the other. "Hey, doesn't it just warm you?" You poke Joe and gesture to the newlyweds. He peers over at them and hums in a heartwarming way. "Yeah. Man, it's like they're communicating with each other merely through their close-knit heartbeats."

"Speaking of communication," you clear your throat and give him a direct look, " what did you want to talk about?"

He snaps out from gauging at the two and leads you on a gentle sway as he swallows, increasing the volume of his voice just loud enough to cut through the music and for you to hear. "Right. About the thing during the ceremony," you immediately catch on to what he's trying to say and interrupt his next words.

"Okay, thanks for implying, but are you kidding me? Giving me stroke by hiding Ben's attendance?"

"It was for dramatic effect," your eyes flatten puzzlingly at his defense. "What was so dramatic in that besides the awkward... staring?" You know the truth and it really wasn't awkward; in fact it felt like time dilated between you both.

Joe ping-pongs his gaze from one end of the place to the other and back to you. "You paused after 'awkward'. You liked it." The smile on his face teasing you. He's really that sensitive to the nuance of your voice, making it easier for him to figure out how you actually feel about anything.

You evade his prying look and clear your throat, trying to keep up with the transition of the rhythmic music to a slow tune. "So what if I did?" You mumble intentionally.

"Nothing bad. Just Ben wouldn't stop fidgeting in his spot after seeing you. He was this," he makes small jerky movements with his upper body as to imitate Ben's inability to keep still during the ceremony, "antsy and I was this close to losing it."

You snort as you let an explosive laugh overcome you, recollecting yourself shortly as you are flattered by Joe's report. "I felt the same. It took every cell in my body to prevent myself from launching at him honestly."

"I'm glad we sat in separate tables or else neither of you would function like regular...human beings." The grin on Joe's face fades in the same manner as his last words, staring off at a figure approaching from behind you. He regains his voice in a matter of seconds, only with a sly twinkle in his eyes this time.

"You okay?" You ask him, slowly removing your hand from his chest and he nods vigorously, taking position to whirl you off but with a sneaky twist.

"I'm fine. Just... Gwilym wants to dance with you and he's right behind you so I'm going to spin you off to him, sound good?" He lifts your arm up and you shrug in agreement, going with what Joe's planning to do.

"Ally oop!" He twirls you around and releases your hand just in time for you to cling onto a firm frame, giggling at the rush you felt. "Hey Gwil! Good catch, that was a strong spin-" You take a hard pause the second you lift your eyes up with the expectation of meeting Gwilym's sapphire blues, greeting a pair of forest, green orbs instead and it becomes more than what you've bargained for. His veiny arms have caught you with ease and you're sinking, both literally and metaphorically, your arms awkwardly thrown over his shoulders for support.

He helps you regain your balance and smiles the smile you had craved to behold again, breathing out your name like he hasn't said it in a long time. "Y/N, hi."

You find your voice just in time to reply. "Ben...h-hi." He's looking quite good in an all white attire. His white dress shirt is tucked in and has three buttons undone, exposing a lot of his clavicle and a preview of his pecs and the way his white pants just hangs loosely around his legs– you've lost the proper words to describe the sight.

Joe, you crafty asshole.

#borhap #queen #ben hardy #ben hardy imagine #ben hardy x reader #borhap cast #borhap cast x reader #borhap imagine #ben hardy fanfic #imagine #fanfic

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distant-rose · 6 years

Text

Playing Off Foul (1/2)

Notes: I’ve been working off this idea for awhile. I just needed to get it off my chest. I have so much baseball!Killian crap in my WIP drawer and it needs to see the light of day. A special thank you to @welllpthisishappening and @katie-dub for being my support system and for encouraging me to write this nonsense. My apologies to fans of the Arizona Diamondbacks and Carmelo Anthony. My shade is nothing personal. Summary: Emma Swan doesn’t know anything about baseball, only that her son Henry is obsessed and works as a ballboy for the New York Yankees. She has no interest in it, that is until her son gets whacked with a foul ball and she comes face-to-face with the player that hit it - Killian Jones. Rating: T+ Word Count: 4,600+

When it came down to it, Emma blamed David.

Though it had been Neal who had introduced Henry to baseball, it had been David’s fault that he became a Yankees fan. Since the moment he learned that Henry was interest in the sport dubbed “America’s Favorite Pastime,” Emma’s brother had taken to bringing her son to every baseball game he could afford and spending the rest of his money on more merchandise than their tiny two bedroom apartment could afford.

It was David who had told Henry about the ballboy job opening at Yankee Stadium and like a fool, Emma had allowed her teenager to apply. She didn’t think he would get past the application review but two weeks later, Henry had gotten the call in for an interview which was followed by an official job offer and a celebratory dinner at Fazio’s. She wasn’t been sure how was more excited about it - Henry for having an opportunity to meet his heroes and get paid for it or David who now had an inside man on what was really going on in the Yankees’ locker room. Emma had been less enthused about it.

Though the team that spent half of its games on the road, the stadium seemed to have constant need of Henry and it wasn’t uncommon for him to come stumbling back into the apartment at one or two in the morning on a school night. Furthermore, the players had an habit of giving him more money in tips than Henry knew what to do with on top of earning an whopping $21.50 an hour. Emma nearly blew a gasket when she find out one of the players had given her son a thousand dollars to keep quiet about some girls coming into the locker room for a “private tour.” She didn’t want their boorish behaviour and outrageous spending habits rubbing off on her son. She already had Neal to contend with, she didn’t need to add a bunch of immature rich assholes to the mix. However, there were silver linings to Henry working at the ballpark. Being a ballboy required him to be on top of his grades and it kept him out of trouble for the most part. More often than not, his Saturday nights were spent cleaning bases and polishing cleats rather than going to parties. She also no longer had to worry about Henry asking for money to hang out with his friends since he made more than enough to fend for himself. Another added cherry was that nothing pissed off her Diamondbacks loving ex more than knowing their son was working for “the Evil Empire.” Still, Emma didn’t like it.

She especially didn’t like it when she saw “Yankee Stadium” on her caller ID when she was in the middle of a honey-trap operation to catch a guy who had been charged with credit card fraud.

“Hello? Is this Mrs. Swan?” It was a voice she didn’t recognise but he sounded vaguely nervous.

She bristled slightly at bit at the misnomer. “It’s Miss Swan and yes, this is.”

“Right, sorry, Miss Swan, my name is William Smee and I’m a clubhouse assistant manager over at Yankee Stadium. I’m calling in regard to your son-“ “What happened?” Emma cut him off in a clipped tone.

“There was an accident. A foul ball caught him unaware and he was knocked unconscious. An ambulance was called and he’s on his way to Bronx New Lebanon.”

Fear spiked up her spine as he spoke but she tapped it down, immediately going into crisis mode. She couldn’t afford to get hysterical. Henry needed to keep her cool. Before Mr. Smee even finished his last sentence, she had picked up her purse and was shrugging her coat back on.

“How long ago was this?”

“Twenty minutes ago. We wanted to make sure Henry got immediate attention and was looked after before we did anything else. His health is our top priority and rest assured, Miss Swan, the organisation is willing to pay any medical bills or anything-” “I literally do not care,” Emma cut him off again. “Just give me the address.”

“It’s on Tiffany Street, I believe, ma’am.”

Emma got up, so focused on the situation with Henry that she had forgotten all about her “date.” She turned to leave, he reached out and grabbed her arm. Emma hissed when his grip was a little more forceful than necessary, fingers digging into her skin.

“Where do you think you’re going?” He asked rudely.

“My son is in the hospital. I need to go.”

“You have a son?”

“Yes. He’s fourteen and was just in an accident at Yankee Stadium. Now, let me go.”

“Look, Emma, I don’t know what your malfunction is but I know a lie when I see one. You’re wearing an old ass dress and false stones after all. How about you sit down and actually give me a chance. I’m a really nice guy with some cash to burn.”

“Listen, dude, let me go and I will forget about this.”

“Or what? What are you gonna do me, sweetheart?”

Emma let out a short humourless laugh. This guy didn’t realize how lenient she was planning on being. When she heard Henry was in the hospital, she had decided that she would let this skip go and focus on her son. Now, she wasn’t going to be so generous. On top of being a massive credit scam artist, he was also an asshole and she wasn’t going to let that fly.

She pulled out her cuffs and attached one to his wrist faster than he could blink. He stared at his wrist dumbfounded while she attached the other end to his seat. When he tried to take off, Emma tripped him. She watched in smug satisfaction as the chair landed on top of him. She placed a heeled foot on top of it to keep him in place as she took out her phone once more and called her brother. He picked up after the second ring.

“Is Henry okay?” He asked immediately, not even bothering with pleasantries.

Emma blinked in surprise. “You know about that already?”

“Yeah. It was just on ESPN.”

“Shit.”

“Where is he? I saw him get pulled off. He okay?”

“I’m heading to Bronx New Lebanon now,” Emma replied, applying more pressure on the man beneath her foot. “I need a big favor though. I need you to pick up a Mr. James Graves from Piccola Cucina.”

“On it.”

“Fuck you, bitch!” The skip growled.

“Hey! You had your chance!” She snapped back. “You should have just let me go and see my son!”

The maitre d’hotel came over with a cautious expression, holding his hands up in front of him as if he was approaching a wild and dangerous animal. Emma flashed him a smile in hopes of defusing some of the tension. He gave a tentative one back.

“Is everything okay here, Miss?” He asked nervously.

“Hi. My name is Emma Swan. I work for Nationalwide Bail Bonds Agency. This gentleman, and I use that term loosely, missed his court date and there’s a warrant out for his arrest. There’s an officer on the way. I needed to leave like twenty minutes ago because my kid is in the hospital. So, no. It’s not okay.”

The maitre d’hotel’s eyes went wide and he glanced between her and the man underneath her boot a few times, looking entirely unsure on how to handle the situation. Emma sympathised. This wasn’t the type of joint that was used to rough clientele and this wasn’t normally the sort of spot that Emma would bring her skips but James Graves had insisted on this spot, probably in an attempt to impress her into sleeping with him.

“I’ll going to talk to someone...I will be right back…”

“I’ll be here,” Emma muttered bitterly, taking out her phone and glancing at the time. She didn’t want to leave Henry alone in the hospital.

“You could still let me go...and see your kid...and I will be willing to forget all about this…” James Graves wheezed from under her.

Emma rolled her eyes. “You had your shot, buddy. You blew it. Now, you’re going to hang tight until Officer Nolan comes.”

The maitre d’hotel returned four minutes later, two large stocky men flanking him. Both were wearing black shirts and white aprons that were covered in grime; the customary mark of someone who works in the back of a restaurant. Neither of them looked happy, both eying Emma’s skip with disdain.

“Miss, I know you need to leave so I talked to some of the boys in the back who are willing to babysit your friend until the authorities arrive so you can get to your son.”

It was the nicest thing a stranger had ever done for her. She gave them her first genuine smile of the night.

“Seriously?”

“Absolutely. We’ll keep an eye on him. Go see your boy… and perhaps come back for some eggplant parm when you’re able.”

With her skip issue settled, Emma raced to where she had parked her car. Her eyes nearly bulged when she saw a parking ticket tacked to her windshield but it was nothing she couldn’t sort out with David later. It was just another annoyance and one that she needed to set aside until she saw to Henry.

The drive to the Bronx was as painful. It was as if the some unmerciful god knew how stressed she was and decided to add to it. FDR Drive was backed to hell with bumper-to-bumper traffic. She watched in frustration as the ETA on her Waze app crept up minute by minute, screaming against her steering wheel. If only she had gotten a Hummer instead of a Volkswagen Bug, then she could just crush everything in her path and be with her son already.

It took her nearly an hour and twenty minutes to get to Tiffany Street and then another ten minutes to find parking before resigning to put her car in an overpriced garage that only took cash. The men at the lot were unsympathetic to her plight. They rolled their eyes at her explanations, telling her to that the local convenience across the street had an ATM and to come back when she could actually pay them.

Needless to say by the time she finally got into the hospital, Emma was in a foul mood and was ready to go to war with anyone who got in her path. Her anger must have been plastered all over her face because anyone who saw her gave her a wide berth and the nursing staff seemed to shrink under her gaze when she demanded to know where her son was. She didn’t care what anyone thought of her. She just wanted to know her kid was okay.

She was led down the hall by a harassed looking nurse who was trying very hard to make small talk with her but Emma was having none of it. The nurse stopped towards the end of the hall and gestured to the last room, mumbling something about seeing to other people. She paid the woman no mind though.

She was surprised to hear laughter coming from her son’s hospital room. It wasn’t the laughter of a teenager but rather a grown man, one she didn’t recognise. Frowning to herself, she entered the room to find her son sitting up in bed and playing cards with a stranger.

Henry’s face brightened when he saw her.

“Mom! You made it! Did you get your guy?”

Emma didn’t acknowledge the question. Her attention was focused on the man sitting at her son’s bedside. He appeared to be the same age as her and dressed in the most expensive pair of sweats that she had ever seen. The New York Yankees logo was emblazoned across his chest and his sleeves were rolled to his elbows, exposing muscled forearms. He had messy dark hair and well-manicured stubble that seemed to enhance the line of his jaw. He was giving her a tentative smile and brushing his hands against his knees nervously. In the back of her head, Emma acknowledged he was incredibly attractive but she was more concerned with who the hell he was and why he was in her son’s hospital room.

“Who the hell are you?”

“Mom!” Henry sounded scandalized.

“Ermmm…” The man ran one of his hands through his hair. Emma noted the massive scarring that seemed to encompass webbing between his thumb and index finger and seemed to radiate in angry lines across his knuckles. He stood up and held out his other hand for her shake. “Killian Jones.”

She didn’t take it. Instead she crossed her arms in front of her chest and raised her eyebrows at him. “Is that supposed to mean something to me?”

Henry let out a loud groan and looked like he was about have a fit.

“Mom! Are you kidding? He’s the best second baseman in the league! He has the highest on-base percentage and leads the AL in stolen bases! He’s, like, one of the top twenty best hitters! How do you not know who he is!”

Emma glanced back at the proclaimed baseball superstar and squinted a bit. Now that Henry had mentioned it, he did look a little familiar. She was pretty certain that he had seen his profile on her son’s bedroom wall. Though, he looked more intense on the poster than he did in real life. If anything, he now looked awkward and embarrassed. Killian’s face flushed under the praise and he took back the hand he had held out in order to scratch behind his ear.

“I’m pretty sure Jose Altuve would disagree with you on the best second baseman thing.”

“Okay, maybe not the best second baseman but you’re up there. You have an insane record in double plays and you play for the best team in baseball,” Henry conceded, picking up the deck of cards that had been scattered across his rollaway table.

“I appreciate the show of team spirit, Henry.”

“Okay, I get it,”she said, cutting into the bizarre display of male bonding that was happening in front of her. “What is he doing here?”

Both Henry and Killian looked uncomfortable at the question, the two of them exchanging glances. Emma felt her stomach tying itself in knots. She had a feeling she was not going to like what they had to say.

“I just wanted to make sure your boy was okay…” Killian replied slowly, as if he was trying to choose his words carefully. “...and you know, make sure that there was no hard feelings or anything…”

“Excuse me?” Emma narrowed her eyes at him.

“It wasn’t your fault, Killian. It was a foul ball. I should have been paying attention more.”

“Perhaps but still, I would never forgive myself if anything bad had happened to you.”

“You’re the one who hit my kid?!” She hissed, looking at him with murder in her eyes. She was five seconds away from decking him in the face.

Killian seemed to sense her aggression because he put his hands out in front of him in surrender. “Not intentionally! I promise!”

“Right,” she replied in a clipped tone before turning to her son. “Do you mind if I borrow Mr. Baseball here for a moment so we can have a...chat?”

Emma wasn’t certain who looked more nervous, her son or the professional baseball player who was shifting in place like a guilty toddler.

“As long as you promise not to kill him… if he dies, we, for sure, won’t make the playoffs this year.”

“Glad to know that’s all my life is worth to you, Henry.”

“Just being honest.”

She gestured for Killian to follow her out into the hallway. He followed her but she could see the clear reluctance that embodied his stride. He reminded her of the children who sat in front of the principal’s office, waiting to be screamed at. She closed the door behind them, so Henry wouldn't listen in on their conversation. She leaned against it, crossing her arms in front of her chest and glaring at him.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

He looked startled by the question. “I already told you. I’m here for your boy, Mrs. Swan.”

“You say that but I know how you assholes work. Everything with you is image. Henry keeps a tight lip on what happens in that locker room but I know that you and some of your buddies pay him to keep quiet about the nasty shit that goes on in that.”

“Pardon?” His lips formed a thin line. His nerves were giving way to irritation but Emma didn’t care.

“You heard? I’m not an idiot. You‘ really not here out of any concern for my son. You’re here to cover your ass and keep up your good guy image. I will not have you use my son as a publicity stunt.”

“Publicity stunt?” He repeated. He looked positively offended by her words. “Listen, Mrs. Swan-”

“It’s Emma. Not Miss Swan, especially not Mrs. Swan,” she cut him off. “I’m not married. Everyone at that fucking stadium always assumes I am. It’s annoying.”

“Alright, alright, fine, Emma,” he conceded, looking more frustrated. “I’m not here for a publicity stunt. Do you see cameras? Reporters? Any media specialists?”

“No,” she admitted.

“That’s because no one knows I’m here. Especially not any reporter. If anything, I’m in big trouble because I skipped media. I didn’t tell anyone I was coming here except one of the base coaches and only because he asked where I was going.”

“Aren’t you going to get in trouble for that?”

“Most definitely,” he replied with a nonchalant shrug.

“Then why are you here?” she whispered again.

“I don’t know how many times I have to say it to you but I genuinely like your son, Mis-Emma. He’s a nice kid. He’s always got a smile on his face and never complains or asks for anything except what else he can do...some of the ballboys after a while try to cut corners or try to go out partying with the team but not Henry… he’s been with us just for this season and it feels like he’s always been there…If he had been seriously hurt…” Killian paused, rubbing his hand over his jaw and looking distressed by the very idea. “...I was serious when I said I would never forgive myself.”

Emma studied him for a moment, sighing and pinching the bridge of her nose. She felt slightly guilty about accusing him of using Henry in such a way when he seemed so earnest in his attachment to her son.

“I didn’t want him to take the job,” she admitted. “He’s got enough going on… And now this...”

“I know.”

She looked up at him, slightly startled. “What?”

“Henry told me you were apprehensive about letting him work in the clubhouse… he thinks you only allowed it to piss off your ex.”

“Henry told you that?”

“I don’t think you understand how closely your son works with the team, love. Like I said, he’s a good kid so I tend to gravitate towards him instead of the others...we talk a lot about things...from freshman baseball tryouts to his writing...”

“You know about Henry’s writing? Henry doesn’t talk to anyone about his writing, not David, not his father.”

“Well, I think he’s more open with me about it because I’m admittedly a Babylon Five and Stargate Atlantis junkie so he’s more comfortable sharing things with a fellow nerd… from what I understand your ex was quite disparaging of his Doctor Who obsession...not that he has much taste, considering he’s a Diamondbacks fan.”

“You’re a sci fi nerd AND a professional baseball player?”

“They aren’t mutually exclusive,” he teased. “What? What did you think we only watched ESPN or Fox Sports or something?”

“Honestly, yes.”

He chuckled, shaking his head and smiling at her. Her breath caught a little and her stomach did annoyingly flips that it hadn’t done since high school. She was stunned how she went from wanting to murder him for hurting her kid to literally squirming at the sight of his face. She needed to get a hold of herself.

“We should probably go back in,” she replied. “You know, so he doesn’t think I murdered you and the team’s playoff chances…”

“Probably a good idea.”

Henry looked anxious as they opened the door, craning his neck to see past Emma. His shoulders visibly relaxed when he saw Killian, alive and well, behind her. She couldn’t help her snort of amusement.

“Did you honestly think I was going to kill him?”

“With you anything is possible, Mom. You did almost run over Carmelo Anthony that one time..”

Killian’s eyebrows rose as he regarded her with a look that was equals concerned and amused. “You almost ran over Carmelo Anthony?”

“That’s not my fault! He was on his phone and walked in front of my car!” Emma defended. “He’s lucky that I have amazing reflexes and was able to stop in time or else he would have been out for all of 2016.”

“I think at that point Knicks fans would have thanked you. I’m pretty they were trying to get rid of him by then. He was a cancer to the team,” Killian responded with a smirk.

“You follow basketball too?”

“I follow most major sports, love. Except maybe golf. But that’s because I firmly believe if you can drink and smoke while playing it, then it isn’t a sport,” Killian remarked.

“Babe Ruth used to eat, drink and smoke between innings,” Henry teased.

“That’s because Babe Ruth was a baseball god and could do whatever he wanted.”

“If you say so.”

Killian gave Henry a light shove in response. He sat down in his original seat and picked up the neatly stack cards that Henry had been fiddling with.

“Do you want to play another hand?”

“Only if Mom deals in,” Henry smiled.

“I can play,” Emma responded, taking another chair and sitting next Killian. She miscalculated the distance between them, causing her knee bump against his. Emma was vaguely surprised when neither of them pulled away from the accidental contact. “As long as I get the official story of what happened.”

Henry’s face turned red and ducked his head down, focusing on the cards Killian was dealing.

“Okay….so with foul balls, we’re supposed to give them away to fans. And when we say fans, they mean to give them away to the little kids. You know? The four to ten-year olds. Anyway, there was this family and they had two kids and the older kid really really really wanted a ball....so I gave him one and the other kid who was maybe three, I think? I’m guessing he was three, anyway, he threw a big tantrum and I just wanted him to be happy and have a good time so I decided to give him the next ball that came our way...So that’s what I did. And this kid, I don’t think he understood that you’re supposed to keep it because he threw it back on the field...The long and short of it is that I was supposed to be paying attention to the batter. You’re not supposed to do anything but watch when someone is in the box because of safety reasons but the kid threw the ball and I went to pick it up...and the next thing I knew I was on the ground... So really, it’s not Killian’s fault, Mom. It’s mine. And I’m probably going to lose my job over it.”

“You’re not going to lose your job over that, Henry,” Killian said, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Things like this happen. You’re not the first and you probably won’t be the last ballboy to get hit.”

“You sure?”

“Absolutely,” he responded, picking up his cards.

Emma was more focused on her son than on the card game, looking at him in concern.

“What did the doctor say?”

“That I have a mild concussion. They did tests and say I should be okay, but they want to keep me overnight for observation,” Henry shrugged.

“They did tests!?”

Tests and an overnight in the hospital? She could only imagine what the hospital bill was going to look like. She highly doubted her crap ass insurance plan would do much to cover the costs. She was going to be paying this off all year. She could feel it.

Killian seemed to sense her distress and played a hand on her arm. She jumped slightly at the contact.

“I’m pretty sure the organization is going to foot the bill, love. And if they don’t, I will. You don’t need to worry.”

“We’re not a charity case,” she snapped.

“I didn’t say you were. It’s just the right there to do.”

They didn’t talk much after that, instead focusing on the card game that they had started. Henry was pretty much sweeping them both but Emma had a sneaking suspicion that Killian was losing on purpose, trying to make Henry smile and laugh. It was strange to see someone interact with her son like this outside David and Neal. It did funny things to her insides.

Killian stayed with them past visiting hours, using his charm and clout as a professional baseball player to keep the nurses from kicking them out. It wasn’t until his agent, an imposing woman in a well-tailored pantsuit, came and pulled on the back of his sweatshirt, did Killian leave. Emma didn’t know who was more upset, she or Henry, that he was going.

“You’ll see me sooner than you think,” he told Henry, ruffling his hair a bit and causing the teenager to scowl at him. “You’ll be working at the clubhouse again before you know it and we still have to work on your swing. If you’re not a starting baseman by next year, I will eat my shoe.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” Henry replied smartly.

Killian’s eyes cut to Emma, smile softening. “Will I be seeing you around?”

“I don’t know, do you plan on whacking my son in the head again?”

“Hopefully not,” he chuckled, ducking his head a bit.

“Then maybe…”

“Just maybe?”

“It’s better than no.”

“Too true,” he chuckled. “Well, I look forward to maybe seeing you around.”

Henry hit her in the shoulder as soon as Killian was out the door, smirking at her. “You were flirting with Killian Jones!”

“What? I was not!”

“You were too! And he was flirting back! I saw you!” he crowed. “Wait until Uncle David hears this!”

“You’re not telling Uncle David anything because nothing happened!”

“Suuuuureeeeee Mom.”

“Shut up,” she said, giving him a light shove back. “And you should be resting.”

“And you should have gotten his number.”

“Henry. Sleep.”

It turned out that Emma didn’t have to ask. Next afternoon there was a large package outside their apartment, containing a large display of flowers, a personalized New York Yankees jersey with ‘Swan’ on the back, a pack of baseball cards and an index phone with a handwritten message: Just in case, you want to make that maybe a certainty, give me call: 212-921-2012 - KJ

#captain swan #cs ff #cs fic #cs fanfiction #cs fanfic #playing off foul #my fic #my shit #I love baseball #laura and I are gonna form the 'killian jones in pinstripes coalition'#yankee!Killian #baseball!Killian

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rhysand-vs-fenrys · 6 years

Note

Do you have any tips for writing in third person or first for a kinda new writer that wants to post her fanfics on here?

Hum, that’s tough…

Be careful with pronouns. When I write, I always think of one of my roommates when I lived in Korea. She would try to read books in English and constantly had to bring it over to me because she didn’t understand who was doing what. For example, the sentence would be: He held his beer for him. If there were pronouns for 2 different people in 1 sentence, she was totally lost. To that end, I try to keep things as straightforward as possible (ie, Cassian held his beer for him) and give them a clearly defined subject.

Don’t switch subjects without a transition. Even in third person, you kind of follow the person you’re focusing on. Think about “Throne of Glass” (if you’ve read it)- the books are in third person, yet the chapters are identified by who the main focus is. Same if you’ve read “Game of Thrones”. If you change perspectives, either put a break in your story or gently swing it over to them across a few sentences or so (I do this in “Velaris” and “Bring Her Home”).

Use the character in the narrative voice: People have different ways of looking at the world, and even in 3rd person that comes into play. Don’t let your narrative voice go stale or “clinical”. If the person you’re following in 3rd person is a surly drunk, the narrative dialogue needs to kind of have a nod to that, versus how it may sound if the subject is a monk.

Those are the only things I’ve got about specifically writing in 3rd person, but I really don’t write first or second person if I don’t have to. Others (who are free to comment/reply with tips) who were more focused on another person and made the switch might have more things to point out.

As far as being “a kinda new writer that wants to post her fanfics on here”, I do have some other general tips:

Know where the fandom is: My first ever fanfic was an Avengers trilogy called “Project: Echo”. By the time I finished posting Part 1 on Fanfiction.net, it had 20,000 reads. Now it’s over 200,000 reads and nearly 300 reviews. I posted it on AO3 and it has about 1,500 views. I posted it on here and… Maybe 6 notes so far? That pattern held for my other 2 Avengers fics mostly (the x-reader I abandoned because I absolutely hate that format had a whopping 12). The ACOTAR Fandom however is the exact opposite. On tumblr I get a ton of notes and interactions while on AO3 it’s a bit less and FF I’m lucky if I see 3 reviews. It’s all about where each fandom is and how they engage with fanfic. If you’re writing outside of the ACOTAR fandom you may need to find the others in your fandom.

The Watermark: Every single fic I write has an innocuous phrase or character name that cannot be removed or the entire thing falls apart. I google those names or phrases to find people trying to steal my work. It may sound simple, but that’s the beauty of it. Anyone can take an OC and throw some other name in via “replace”, but if you’ve hidden your watermark in the middle of a paragraph or use a name that cannot be replaced, you have the key to find stolen work. And demolish that person. Viciously.

Flood the Market: In addition to my watermark, I hold profiles on the biggest sites (and put the others on a watch list). I have profiles on FF, AO3, here, and even wattpad (which I don’t publish to, I pretty much just use it because I’ve caught people on there twice trying to steal “Project: Echo”). Sometimes idiots will post your work to other sites to “share it with their friends”, acting as if that’s not still stealing. If you’re the one putting it on those sites, then there’s no disputing where it came from.

Don’t expect success overnight: As I said, my work on FF exploded, but here on tumblr it was a slower build. In the early days all of my fics included links to one another, once I had a handful I started opening it up to tagging requests and made a fanfic library page that attaches to my main. I’ve had a pretty awesome streak of luck when it comes to how my ACOTAR stuff has been received, but I still try to keep in mind the days when I was happy to get 6 notes on something.

Make it as easy as possible for people to find your work- tag the hell out of it and offer links to other things you’ve written.

If you notice a trend in what people seem to enjoy, you can decide if you want to keep a focus in that direction or go back to it for an easy-win if you’re having a bad week.

The more a fic hurts, the more comments I’ve noticed I get... and since I live for comments... *cracks knuckles and looks at the Illyrians*

You can also do the opposite- drop fics you know won’t be popular between ones you have a sense will be. Like how I only post ToG fics between Nessian or Feysand smut.

Those are the biggest tips I have for new writers when it comes to general fanfiction. I hope that helps!!

#ask

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tenacioustooru · 6 years

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About Me As a Writer

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean? Well, if y’all know me by now y’all know I love Oikawa Tooru. I was deep within the Haikyuu fandom (still am, actually) when I came up with it. So in essence it’s just Oikawa’s first name and the fact that he never, ever gives up on his teammates and what he believes in. Which is why he’s... tenacious. *ba dum tss*

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos).

under the antique sky is currently my most popular work with 7,466 hits, 660 kudos, 156 bookmarks, and 252 subscriptions! It’s the most recent fic I’m working on and the one I most readily update.

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

My icon is Oikawa holding a toddler!Hajime and I chose it because I was writing my second Haikyuu reincarnation fic Beyond the Stars and I wanted my icon to fit the AU I was writing for.

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

I do! I’m not sure if they have tumblrs otherwise I’d tag them but @aizawa-shoutas and @saltysvga consistently scream to me about my stories so

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

I often go back to read Leryline’s Three’s a Crowd series because UshiOi and because it’s just so beautifully written I can’t help but go back and read it again and again so please go check it out!

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

Uhhh I have four pages of subscriptions (don’t know what that adds up to) and 62 bookmarks (I often forget to bookmark and just subscribe whOOPS)

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

Probably the kid reincarnation AU I managed to conjure up. I’m probably gonna end up writing one for every fandom I’m a part of so I’ve got my work cut out for me

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

55 are subscribed and 425 bookmarks!

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

Uhhhhh honestly I’ve never given this much thought so I’m afraid this question is gonna be a big fat N/A

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

I’d love to write actions scenes and smut better. And replying to comments. Ever since I started working I’ve been horrible at responding to comments.so I’m sorry for that

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

Mostly rarepairs! Especially for the Haikyuu fandom. But for BNHA I find myself writing for the more popular ships (TodoDeku is life okay?)

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

A whopping seven!

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA too fucking many

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

I have to write them down. Like. My memory is so shitty I have to write down everything that comes into my head. Even if that means texting my friends at four in the morning to scream about it to them and screenshotting it so I have a picture and can refer back to it later because I’m too damn lazy to get up and get a pencil and my notebook

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

No but my friend Aja and I have a plan for a story so maybe we can get on that soon! Be on the lookout!

16. How did you discover AO3?

I was searching for SasuNaru fanfiction and after digging through the limited reserves of FanFiction I stumbled upon a link to AO3

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA no. Not even.

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

That’s a thing?

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

As far as famous authors go I would say Michael Grant and Jodi Picoult inspire me to be better every day. I love their books. And as far as fanfiction authors go, I would definitely say @aizawa-shoutas (novocaine-sea on ao3)

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

Keep your head up! There may be days where it feels like your inspiration is so low where you have absolutely no energy to write but keep your head up! There will be days where your creative tank is empty but don’t push yourself. Remember to rest and do something else you enjoy! Pick up a book, binge watch your favorite series or movies -- do whatever makes you happy. Inspiration will return.

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

Uh, both. I write out what I’d like for the chapter to contain in one of my many journals but sometimes the story takes a mind of its own and it goes in a completely different direction.

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

Oh yeah, definitely. I honestly just ignored it. I don’t need that kind of negativity in my life when so many people have said such nice things about my stories.

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

Action. And smut. I’m trying to get better at both. But I get so embarrassed writing smut. Not because I think it’s disdainful (you should see my bookmarks). It’s because my skills are so below par that I just cAN’T

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

under the antique sky is my main priority at the moment! I try and update biweekly since I’m working now. But then my OiSuga shapeshifter AU grey havens is next on my list.

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

...........I don’t appreciate being called out like this.

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

No because I’m trying really hard not to push myself since I’m teaching 8th grade but I aspire to write a couple of sentences a day before I crash out. It’s better than nothing

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

Sweet Jesus yES. I go back and read my work from just a couple of years ago and I want to burn it all.

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?

Beyond the Stars, probably! I’m not sure if I should count under the antique sky just yet because it’s not done but those two are definitely my favorite.

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?

...Remembering Sunday. Which I’ve gotta delete. And fix. Hella.

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

Hopefully with my novel published! I’ve already got the first manuscript done I just gotta work out all the kinks.

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

Probably characterization for me. I love exploring characters’ personalities and then tearing them apart. Angst is my lifeblood.

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

Uhh again it’d have to be action scenes. I just. I can’t do them all that well.

33. Why do you write?

I write as both a hobby and a therapy -- and ultimately to bring other people joy in the fandom as much as they bring me! It’s something I’ve been doing since 2nd grade and I don’t ever see me giving it up for the world.

Tagging: literally anyone who wants to do this have at it!

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stcrlghts · 7 years

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Meet Cute

Prompt: literally no one asked for this. my own brain did it to me.

Words: a whopping 1,773

Author’s Note: um, i’ve never posted a fic before(??) on here. i’ve never even written a proper fic before. i’m not even a lin or hamilton blog (i apologize for that) but i’ve been obsessively reading a bunch of lin fanfics from some amazing people lately and it inspired me so i literally wrote this in like an hour and it sucks but. YEAH. huge thanks to @manuelmiranduh, @protecting-my-legacy, @fragmentofmymind, @alexanderhamllton, @musicalmiranda for being my inspirations. you guys are amazing and literally a blessing to my dash every day.

Warnings: um, if you have a caffeine addiction?? + mild cursing.

so here we go, i guess. enjoy my crappy lin manuel fanfic because he literally owns my soul now. i’ll probably do a second part because of how cliffhanger-y this ends.

It was not unusual. This was the way it always happened. It was late evening or early morning and the coffee pot always broke. You’d just be busting your way through another term paper or bundle of notes to pass a final and it happened. You’d first pout and curse, loudly, before sighing and condemning yourself for your damned student budget and “why didn’t I splurge more for the better coffee maker?!” Tonight, you had a four-page paper about the history of journalism during war due at 8 AM in the morning. Instead of letting your anger get the best of you, you shrugged on a coat, packed up your laptop, and took your keys and wallet from the table near your apartment’s front door. This paper couldn’t finish itself and you couldn’t work without coffee. Therefore, a 24-hour coffee shop was your best bet and you happened to know where the best one in the city was.

A mere 15-minute walk in the melting snow later and you had found yourself in your second place of solace – the dim orange glow of the coffee place you frequented. Your closest friend had off tonight, but the manager had greeted you with a welcome hug and free cup of your favorite brew. You glanced around as your computer wakened itself and the coffee stirred the writing beast inside of you. Unlike normal, the shop wasn’t empty. In the corner just notched a few spots away from you, there was a man hunched over a notebook, scribbling something furiously. Every few seconds, you caught his mouth moving to mouth words as he wrote them down. His black hair was messy on his head, as if he’d just rolled from his bed and found himself here. His eyes screamed for some sleep, but you had a feeling his brain was much too wired to fulfill that need. You furrowed your brow, trying to make sense of this hauntingly alluring creature when you heard your name being called from the counter. Frowning, feeling like someone had just caught you staring, you turned in your chair, finding your other friend beckoning you from the back room. Finding your way through the maze of chairs and tables and almost bumping into the mystery man, you made it to your friend, who promptly grabbed your wrist and tugged you back with him.

“Y/N! Did I catch you staring at Boy Genius over there?”

Surprise captured whatever words had previously been in your vocabulary and you found yourself rolling your eyes before coming up with the suave answer you did.

“Um… Was I- I mean, I didn’t- Uh, no?”

Your friend rolled his eyes now, impatiently stomping one foot.

“Come on! You totally were checking him out. Don’t lie to me.”

Your brain, unable to form proper connections or words into sentences without its minutely dose of caffeine, failed you at this moment. Your friend overrode whatever words you were going to say.

“You need coffee, honey. Desperately.”

“That’s why I’m here, isn’t it?” You replied, a soft smile appearing on your lips.

“Yes. But I’m here to finally hook you and Boy Genius up!”

“Oh no.”

“Oh yes! You two will be leaving here together by the end of the night if it’s the last thing I ever do!”

Your eyes widened with a certain type of surprised fear and it becomes apparent to you why you should have splurged on that more expensive coffee pot in the first place.

“Jesse, you don’t get it! I’m a nervous wreck because y’all are basically pumping caffeine right into my veins and I have this paper due and, oh my god, you can’t do this to me! I literally hate you right now.”

Jesse didn’t laugh. In fact, he looked stern. He didn’t look shocked that you hated him because he knew you didn’t.

“Y/N, you will get that paper done. And Boy Genius will help you! And you’ll go home to his place, or yours but yours is a mess so take my word on this, and you’ll wake up in his bed and you’ll see him again tomorrow and the next day and spend weekends with him and meet his parents and fall in love and get married and I’ll be there at the wedding with my handsome stud of a boyfriend or husband by then and I’ll be saying it’s totally and completely my work of bringing you two together and you won’t hate me then!”

You couldn’t help it then. You burst out a laugh so loud and so rambunctious it was as if the coffee and this type of cruel humor had unlocked a beast within you and you had to get it out by laughing.

You laughed with Jesse. Then you gave in, for the sake of at least getting out of this mad house.

“Okay. I’ll do it, I’ll be a pawn in your chess game. But first I need to know about him.”

Jesse shook his head defiantly.

“No! You learn everything from him. It’s the rule.”

“Goddammit, I guess I’m meeting this man tonight instead of finishing my paper. Thanks Jesse, you just dropped my score in class by an automatic 2 or 3 points. My perfect GPA, ruined.”

You faked a sad smile before turning completely serious.

“Jesse? How do I look?”

He turned to you with one raised eyebrow, his eyes scanning your distressed jeans, powder blue tee, and light grey coat.

“Honey, your curls are seriously diminished,” was all he said before exiting the storage room.

“My hair is not curly!” you huffed, but checked your back pocket for your phone anyway. You checked your hair in the camera and found that, yes, your hair had developed a few curls since your late afternoon shower earlier that day. Sighing, you decided there was nothing you could do but take the hair tie from your wrist and pull your hair up. Once you were somewhat presentable, you left the back room. Jesse found your eye and gave you a thumbs up before he called out a name for coffee pickup.

As you walked back to your table, your eyes trained on the floor and your mind turning itself over backwards to think of ways to greet this guy, you felt your body bump into something in front of it. You shook your head before peering upwards. In front of you stood the man you had been worrying about since you came in this shop. Your eyes widened in shock as he picked up the books you had knocked from his hands. Your mouth formed a small O before you bent down to help him.

Your eyes grazed the titles, finding an assortment of political biographies, sheet music booklets, and old hip hop CDs. As you reached down to pick up a biography on… Alexander Hamilton of all people, his hand reached for the same book. Seeing as you had picked it up first, his hand flattened in a gesture, a question asking you to hand it to him. You did as you were asked and tried to stand up. Instead, you felt a strong hand on your shoulder, holding you down in place. You questioned this and, as you tried to stand again, the man’s face came level with yours, just inches away. His eyes, brown and kind and obviously exhausted, met yours as an award-winning beam came to his face before it disappeared again.

“So, you know Jesse?” He averted your eyes when he asked you this, a shy grin coming to his face now but not as dazzling as the large smile you had seen just seconds before.

This question shocked you, but you answered by nodding yes, your head moving slowly like it was weighed down by a heavy object balanced on top of it.

“You must be her, then. He’s been trying to set me up with you for months.” He chuckled now and the sparkling light of the original smile returned. You blinked, unaware of what he’d just said.

“Wait, what? He’s been –” You repeated, unsure of where this conversation was going.

“Trying to set us up? Yes. For months.” He was still smiling and the effect was immobilizing to you. He moved his hand off your shoulder to push some long hair out of his face.

You smiled now, eased by the warming, home-y comfort of his large smile, and finally came up with your first coherent, sensible reply since you’d walked in here tonight.

“So, maybe I can finally learn your name then? Jesse absolutely held back all details earlier and I’ve been wondering.”

He kept grinning, his eyes boring into yours as if trying to search for a hidden gem, or truth, that you refused to give up.

“Why don’t I get yours first? I noticed you long before you noticed me.”

You smirked, “What proof is there to that?”

Looking at you kind of sideways with his head now tilted, he began to list his reasons.

“One, I’ve known for months that Jesse has been trying to get us together. Two, I already know your major. Three, I even know your favorite drink. And finally, four, I’m just right.”

You laughed now, the noise bringing the stunning smile back to his lips. “Okay. I’ll tell you mine. But only if we can stand up first. My knee is starting to hurt from this crouching.”

The man grimaced, as if suddenly realizing the mistake this was, and stood. When you had finished straightening your back, you found yourself blushing. This close of contact with the opposite gender had never been your strong suit or favorite thing. But, and you weren’t sure why you were inclined to make this assumption, you felt this man had a mystery to him and you wanted it to be your life’s new mission to be the solution to his mystery.

The man that now stood in front of you reached a height much above your own. Odd, considering you’d gotten used to being the tallest girl at most of your social functions and in school. But at your stature of 5 feet, 7 inches, you didn’t compare to this guy.

You stuck out your hand in the space now made between your bodies.

“I’m Y/N.”

Grinning, he stuck his hand out to meet yours. Pumping twice, he said, “Lin. Very nice to meet you.”

You both released from your awkward handshake greeting. Reaching up to tuck a loose piece of hair behind your ear, you blushed again.

Lin, watching you, only smiled before chuckling.

“So, what now?”

#fanfics #lin manuel x reader #lin manuel imagine #lin manuel fanfic #hamilton imagine #mine #kill me now this is the worst thing i've ever written but!!!! enjoy anyway #my fics #my writing

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maritzaerwin · 4 years

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10 Effective Ways to Boost eCommerce Sales in 2020

In-store shopping experiences are now a thing of the past (for now). Amid COVID-19, eCommerce is now becoming more important and relevant, with more people shopping online.

And whether you just started your new online store or focused on eCommerce for years, the main goal is to continue boosting your sales. As eCommerce continues to grow today, the more you should take advantage of the right marketing strategies and tips.

But how can you keep the doors open amidst new competition? Read on as I show you how to boost your eCommerce sales!

10 Tips to Boost eCommerce Sales

1. Target Existing Customers

If you have trouble growing, you might presume that it’s because you don’t have enough customers. However, this is a MISCONCEPTION, so don’t jump to such conclusions just yet.

Rather than focusing on customer acquisition strategies, you need to look into customer retention. Loyal customers create such a huge impact on eCommerce websites compared to new customers or those that only made one purchase from your site.

Your loyal customers are more inclined to add more items to their carts, give you higher conversion rates, and generate even more revenue as they visit your website.

YES, it’s important to get new customers, but it’s a pricier marketing strategy compared to focusing on local customers. Loyal customers know your brand, know how to use what you sell, and there isn’t much of a learning curve.

Focus on methods to improve THEIR experience as well, such as customer loyalty programs for incentives. Or send them small tokens of appreciation and other special promos made exclusively for your returning customers.

2. Show Website Trustworthiness

If you visited a website that looks sketchy, you wouldn’t want to purchase from it. Instead, you’ll look for another secure website you can trust.

Because of that, you need to make sure your website is trustworthy for people to stay and make transactions.

The first thing to look into is to make your website SECURE. Cybersecurity is a crucial concern and important factor online shoppers consider. With many credit card fraud cases and online scammers, shoppers are now more careful and wary with where they purchase products and services.

You should recognize the need to secure your website and customer information to get everyone’s trust. To do so, display all security and verification badges your website uses. Also, use antivirus software and other website security providers to ensure security and satisfaction for both your business and customers.

Do NOT lie or mislead your customers and slap on badges you aren’t affiliated with. Make sure you have a relationship with security companies and have proper verifications. This prevents any legal issues!

3. Update Product Photos and Descriptions

Are you selling physical products? Then photos and videos are a crucial component to show people what they’ll receive. High-quality photos and video demonstrations that show your product in the best possible light will help potential customers create purchasing decisions.

If you have clear and updated product photos that look appealing, then you can skip this step. But if you feel like your product photos can look clearer or more attractive, then take the time to retake photos and detailed videos to post on your site.

Besides photos and videos, look into your product descriptions as well. If it’s been a long time since you refreshed your descriptions, it’s time to update it in case of any changes.

When writing product descriptions, it should appeal to your target audience and what they care about the most. Read through customer reviews and feedback, paying attention to specific benefits and features mentioned and the language used.

With all that information, you can incorporate it into the product descriptions you’ll write. And as you write product descriptions, make sure that each product page has been optimized for search engines. Use the best keyword for every product page, including it in the title tag, meta descriptions, the image’s file name, and alt tag.

4. Include Photos With Customer Testimonials

You shouldn’t only be placing clear photos on product pages, but in customer testimonials as well. Customer reviews are crucial to help people make purchasing decisions. More positive reviews can increase the chances of new customers purchasing from you, as they know what to expect and have proof that you are a legitimate seller.

But if they read reviews from nameless and faceless people, it won’t be convincing. So it’s time to take a step further from just words and sentences.

If you can, add a photo and include your customer’s full name and title, along with their review. Encourage customers to share their stories, including photos of them and the product they received. When you combine storytelling with photos, it can help drive more sales to your website AND increase your business’ trustworthiness.

5. Focus on Mobile

Just because you have your own website doesn’t mean you can assume that all customers and viewers are shopping solely from computers and desktops. Today, more and more people are using their mobile devices and tablets for online shopping!

Research shows that up to 40% of mobile users have online shopped using their devices. Furthermore, 63% of millennials are shopping online using their phones. You can’t ignore these whopping numbers!

Because of that, it’s time to ensure that your eCommerce site is mobile-optimized. Without a mobile-friendly website and layout, you can turn away potential sales because of a lack of navigability and slow load speed.

If you don’t have a mobile-optimized site yet, this may be the reason why you’re seeing declines in your sales. So make this a priority, checking if your website layout looks and works well on devices, and making the appropriate changes.

If you have the extra budget and time, you can consider building a mobile app. More customers prefer apps over mobile websites as they are more convenient, faster, and their information is stored, including personalized content and any rewards from using it.

6. Offer Discounts and Promos

This is such a simple and effective tip, though you’ll be surprised that not enough businesses offer discounts and promos to customers.

Research shows that 2/3 of consumers decide to make a purchase they wouldn’t have done without a discount. Furthermore, 80% of consumers are more likely to purchase from new brands based on tempting discounts.

If you are worried about the profit margins, there is one old marketing strategy still being used until now.

Increase your products’ base prices, then put them on sale. One of the most effective online sales is to offer a certain discount on EVERYTHING from their eCommerce website.

After all, everyone loves good deals, and doing this can drive up your sales without sacrificing your profit too much.

Besides having sales and offering discounts, you can also change up your shipping options and create promos centered around them. Shipping plays a huge role, with consumers abandoning their shopping carts because shipping fees are too high, or shipping time is too slow.

So make your shipping options more attractive, such as:

Free shipping without any minimum spends (make it clear if this is a temporary promo).

Free shipping for orders meeting minimum amounts.

Low flat rate for all-ground shipments.

Offer various shipping speed options at different prices.

7. Showcase Your Best and Popular Products

Once you have updated your product descriptions, photos, and videos, it’s time to give viewers and customers direction. Show everyone what your customers purchase and love the most.

Many potential consumers like seeing bestseller categories on the homepage itself since not everyone knows exactly what they want or need. Furthermore, a wide range of offered products can be overwhelming, which can affect purchasing decisions.

By showcasing your bestsellers, it gives consumers an idea of where to begin and what to purchase based on positive customer reviews and high demand.

You can also use this strategy as an opportunity to promote your products with high-profit margins. While they aren’t the bestsellers (no one will know), you can feature them on the homepage for viewers to see first.

8. Focus on the Holidays and FOMO!

Are the holidays coming up? Then this is the perfect time to take opportunities to ramp up your sales! Special events and holidays are a time consumers shop and spend more money at the same time, compared to any normal day in a year.

That’s why you need to actively promote during any holidays, offering sales and promos during this small window of opportunity. This can give you massive sales, increasing up to 50% at the right times, especially during Christmas!

Break out all your best offers during the most popular holidays in your country. ECommerce websites can especially benefit from this, as more people like the convenience of shopping from home rather than packed malls.

You can even incorporate this into your customer retention strategy, which I mentioned above. Send emails to your customer subscriber list, enticing them to purchase from you during the holidays with exclusive promos and discounts.

Promote your products by updating your descriptions and website design according to the holidays, describing them in terms like, “the perfect gift,” or “the best way to show loved ones you care.”

But what about times that AREN’T the holidays? That’s where you bring out the “FOMO” effect or the fear of missing out. You can do this by creating a sense of urgency when selling your products and services online.

This encourages shoppers to act fast rather than wait to complete purchases at later dates (which they sometimes don’t act on).

Let your customers know that you have limited items remaining, or that you have promos ending soon. Using these strategies can get price-sensitive consumers to create an instant purchasing decision to avoid spending more after the promo is over.

Run flash sales or send discounts that expire soon, notify people that items in their shopping cart are running out, there are many strategies you can do around it!

9. Accept Various Payment Options

You have to give people more options not only in products and shipment but in payment as well. If you only accept one type of payment (usually credit cards), then you’re alienating many potential customers. Instead of adjusting to your mode of payment, they’ll look for another business that accepts other payment options for convenience.

Besides credit cards, your website should also be able to accept debit cards from different banks and financial institutions. You should also consider giving customers the option to pay using PayPal and Apple Pay, which are new trends and give customers better convenience.

Make sure that the entire checkout process is versatile and quick, which can give you more eCommerce sales.

10. Improve Your On-Site SEO

Search engine optimization, or SEO, is a vital strategy that increases the chances of your eCommerce site being featured on the first page of various search engines.

This is a long-term project and strategy you need to focus on, with SEO statistics proving to help raise your website views and have more relevant potential customers make transactions from your website.

Here are some tips to help with your eCommerce website’s SEO:

Perform keywords research and select target keywords for each page of your website.

Optimize every webpage using the target keyword, incorporating each word or phrase naturally into your content, heading, and relevant meta tags.

As mentioned, make sure you have a mobile-friendly website with fast loading times and invest in SSL certificates for better security.

All these can help you be seen by relevant people, who may be interested in the products and services you offer. Take note that this is a long-term strategy that takes time before it shows noticeable results, but it will be worth the time and effort with the millions of people using search engines every day!

Wrapping It Up

Garnering more eCommerce sales benefits your company, especially today as more people purchase necessities and splurge online during these different times.

With these strategies and new ways to get more customers, you can increase revenue, sales, and become more successful. So start utilizing any of these tips today and watch your eCommerce sales grow!

The post 10 Effective Ways to Boost eCommerce Sales in 2020 appeared first on CareerMetis.com.

10 Effective Ways to Boost eCommerce Sales in 2020 published first on https://skillsireweb.tumblr.com/

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iamkellyadams · 5 years

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Attention Women Over 25: Still Struggling To Lose Belly Fat – Flavor Pairing Really Works?

Hi, I’m Carly and this is my story which I’m proud to share and probably can inspire you to take action and finally achieve the dream body you always dreamt for.

On this very page you’re going to discover a hidden fat loss trick i.e. ‘falvor-pairing‘ which when implemented along with a simple 2-minute ritual will trigger an awe-inspiring female transformation.

I discovered this transformation Cheat-Code that over 93% of people still have no idea exists after my life threatening experience which triggered a flood of what scientists call the weight-loss doubling molecule that lay dormant inside even the most stubborn female metabolism!

Which is why my friends, my family and even my doctor were shocked- when this sequence of events not only ended my battle with hypertension, pre-diabetes, endometriosis, and even depression…

…. and compelled my body to initiate a 22-hour-a-day fat burning sequence that grew stronger with each passing day!

Before you read on…

I highly recommend you to watch the video below, sit back relax to hear and see this incredible story… How at almost 40 years old, I eliminated 100 pounds of confidence-stealing, energy-sucking and potentially life-ending body fat. And finally got to live my ‘happily ever after’ reversing all signs of hypertension, diabetes and depression.

All while managing to lose 12 dress sizes and 23 inches of my waist … Shrinking from a whopping 42 inches all the way around – down to only 26″ inches! Watch this video below and I promise to reveal my full transformation along with the secret “Flavor Pairing Ritual” aka “Carb-Pairing Ritual” I used to melt away over 80 pounds faster than I ever thought possible-without pills or depriving myself on the latest fad keto, calorie counting, satisfaction stripped diet…

Those women who decide to watch this video till the end will:

See, hear, and experience an almost unbelievable transformation story

Reveal a life-changing, time-tested technique that a tiny country half way across the world uses daily

Discover a truly unexpected method hiding right under our noses that 93% of people have no idea exists…

I’m sure you can see how worthwhile it will be today to sit back, relax, watch and listen.

The truth of the matter is, I am not a great writer, I am ok but that’s not enough when you’re on a mission to spread this unique & easy fat loss trick to as many women as possible on the internet.

So for me to try explain this story and this method to you through this article is a great opportunity but I found an even better way… I was able to put this video together. And I’m pretty proud of it.

(Video plays in a different window)

My Promise To You

I guess my promise to you today, woman to woman, is that I wouldn’t have put in the 100’s of hours it took to create this if I didn’t think it would be of great benefit.

I can’t make some sort of “guarantee”, because we can’t “get time back”. But hey, if a relatively small time investment today could teach you even just one thing that you can take forward to get more healthy, wouldn’t it be worthwhile?

So, if you’re tossing up whether to go and grab your headphones right now and settle in, then I say “GIVE IT A SHOT!”

You’ve got nothing to lose!

Power of Hormones

This is no secret hormones plays a major role in our lives, but what you might not have realised we women are worst effected.

As our body transcend from one phase of life to another our hormones completely goes topsy turvy leaving us on the mercy of these life altering hormones. Hormonal imbalances occur when there is too much or too little of a hormone in the bloodstream.

Because of their essential role in the body, even small hormonal imbalances can cause side effects throughout the body.

3 Fat Hoarding “Evil-Step-Mother-Hormones”

Today I’m going to focus on your I.C.E hormones (i.e. Insulin, Cortisol, and Estrogen) also known to be 3 fat-hoarding, “Evil-Step-Mother-Hormones” who inevitably “lose their way” in our mid-20’s.

I will show you can make rogue hormones once again be become the “fat-burning queens” and starts running like clockwork.

Let me explain…

These 3 hormones play crucial role in a women’s health, metabolism and weight loss.

They do numerous jobs around the body, but let me give you a quick run down…

➢ INSULIN: Transports energy to the cells that need it and quite often to the cells that DON’T need it when there is excess sugar floating around in your body.

➢ CORTISOL: released into the body at times of stress. During exercise cortisol can help increase fat burning, but having chronic high levels of cortisol is a recipe for snail pace fat loss and stubborn levels of belly fat.

➢ ESTROGEN: gives the female body it’s womanly characteristics, but if the ratio of estradiol + estrone are out of whack, then losing fat from the hips, butt and thighs is going to be an uphill struggle.

And this is where I hit a jackpot, and learnt to fix the I.C.E. hormones. I went on to lose 84 lbs, drop 12 dress-sizes, burned 23 inches of fat off my waist and hips, and finally got my life back using a simple 2-step ritual a.k.a ‘The Cinderella Solution‘ that got my hormones to play together nicely.

I cannot describe what’s it’s like to actually FEEL something start to work from the moment you start all the way until you lose your last pound…

The Transformation Cheat Code

It was exciting and shocking, when I stumbled upon this easiest ever female fat loss technique!

I just could not believe myself, and even those 500 odd women first to try this new technique. They all replicated my results, some even had better results than me…

It was unbelievable how science could have missed such an important discovery hidden in plain sight which has the power to transform lives for thousands if not millions of women around the world.

You would be surprised to know how easy is this ‘flavor-pairing’ technique is and how these principles kept women of this small country thinnest and healthiest as compared to anywhere else.

Whether you want to believe or not it was a God’s plan, “luck” or divine-intervention…

… Having my 209-pounds, disease-saturated and confidence-starved body hit the floor that morning WAS my fate.

And to be honest,

I’m glad it happened

Because it allowed me,

A once clinically obese and exhausted pre-diabtic mother with hypertension on the verge of losing everything…

to stumble upon this “weight-loss doubling” ritual… that triggers a relentless fat-torching “domino-effect”

Buried deep inside even the most shattered metabolism.

➢ All it takes, is a diet-free solution that re-wires and re-awakens your Scientifically-proven 22-hour-a-day weight loss magnification systems.

And even THOUGH those powerful systems went dormant for you the moment puberty ended, undeniable recent top-level university investigations now verify THERE IS a fat-burning “sleeping-giant” inside you and by end time we are done today…

Together you and I will have given it a giant-sized kick in the butt that screams,

‘GET BACK TO WORK’

But before all this happened…

I mean, like even before I started gaining all that weight in my mid 20’s…

… that every woman falls victim to the shadowy Metabolic-Villain that forces the 3 hormones that kept you fit, youthful, healthy and happy when you were younger,

To literally funnel floating fat-cells into every single area exposed by your bathing suit.

…all while introducing you to a lifetime struggle with body-image, while locking in your weight-management hormones to ‘storage-mode’.

And even though none of this is our fault because nobody, not even our doctor warns us about this when we’re younger… Unless of course you are one of the lucky 8% blessed with near-perfect-genetics…

As women we are ALL VICTIMS of this fat-hoarding 30-year sentence…

The one that dismembers your metabolism form the end of puberty all the way through menopause.

However if it wasn’t for that fateful day not-so-long ago…

I could have never discovered these kindergarten-simple “Flavor-Pairing” rituals from a tiny island 6000 miles across the ocean…

But bodies and lives of over 16787 other women just like you, in the last year alone.

Because the truth is,

You are literally only one unusual step in an unexpected direction away from knocking over the big fat-loss domino that’s standing you and the body you’ve been dreaming of.

Just like Susan did at 53 years old…who used a of all things, A ‘carb-pairing’ ritual to channel a Fat-Flushing current…

Forcing 48 pounds of fat from her body while allowing her to recover the youthful glow lost in her 20’s…

Or even ladies with once-silent metabolism, like Kelly who lost 52 pounds.

Using the salty-sweet flavor-pair that revs up fat-burning by over 200%…

THE BEST PART IS,

Sadly, you’ve never heard of their secret because it’s so closely guarded by their top gatekeepers.

It wasn’t until a few highly respected doctors and government officials broke their code of silence that I was able to unleash that flood of age-reversing enzymes,

Allowing me to reclaim my body, my energy, my husband

And as you can see here….My Youth!

Luckily these battles with weight and body image inspired me to open my own special-place devoted to those looking to reclaim the health, happiness and confidence that had abandoned them so long ago.

Pretty soon after opening my first weight loss center a ‘buzz’ began to circle around the city…

➢ It’s Your Turn Now, Get The Blueprint Here

The Discovery

While we were looking for the perfect weight loss solution everywhere, it was already in practice for 100’s of years. Probably being couple of centuries old, a simple ‘flavor-pairing’ ritual which made this small island country the slimmest, longest living and most disease-resistant country…

However if it wasn’t for that fateful day not-so-long ago….(my near death experience). I could have never discovered these kindergarten-simple ‘Flavor-Pairing’ rituals from a tiny island 6000 miles across the ocean…

…. that not only had the power to transform my body –

But bodies and lives of over 16,787 other women just like you, in the last year alone.

Because the truth is,

You are literally only one unusual step in an unexpected direction away form knocking over the one big fat-loss domino that’s standing between you and the body you’ve been dreaming of… (This is your chance to join the revolution – click here for all the steps and instructions)

The Moment Everything Changed

That alone got my attention but what really took my breath away were the statistics that backed up these claims from world’s most respected health authority:

Japanese women live to an astonishing average of 87-years-old,

A record number that has continued to climb since the 1960’s.

That’s over 10 years longer than we get to live here…10 YEARS!

Can you imagine getting an extra decade on this planet with your loved ones?

But the Japanese were also named the most “Disease-Resistant” & “Happiest” country as well. These women had uncommonly low rates of dementia, depression, heart attacks and strokes.

So not only were they living longer,

But for the last half-century, their quality of life was dominating ours as well.

As I’d later find out,

The Japanese had made one simple “alteration” to their eating habits 62 years ago.

And it was this subtle,

Yet profound adjustment that super-charged their immune systems

With the unique hormonal-synergy needed to produce “Warrior-Antibodies”

That actually fought tooth-and-nail against disease and obesity.

It turns out that Shoku-Iku (which translates to Nutrition Architecture)Is a set of guidelines, broken down into extremely simple food and flavor-pairing rituals.

The primary goal of each pairing was to create“hormonal and metabolic balance to promote health, well-being, strength and happiness from within”.As I mentioned before, here we do the exact opposite.

The scientists explained that in North America we literally try to “attack” obesity, disease and depression from the outside With what they called “Shotgun-Approaches” like the diets, exercise routines and pills we’re all used to.

Back In 1966, as the fast-food craze hit America…

…The Japanese Government instead passed laws To make their “wellness from within” Flavor-Pairing Rituals and Shoku-Iku, the country’s mandatory Nutritional Platform.

So while we quickly became the fattest, sickest and unhealthiest country on the planet, The Japanese just kept losing weight while living longer, happier more fulfilling lives,

All because of a simple, yet metabolically explosive set of Flavor-Pairing rituals they adopted over 50 years ago.

And that’s what really gave me peace of mind that flavor-pairing was the key to unlocking the female fat-loss code…

… This wasn’t some pill being concocted in a lab or “get-skinny-by-yesterday” diet dreamed up by some TV doctor … Without any long term testing to see if it actually worked or more importantly, if it was safe.

This was 50 years of proof combined with 2 billion people living leaner, healthier longer lives.

And did I mention that Japanese women consume more carbohydrates than any other country as well?!?!

In fact,

They eat almost double the carbs we eat here!

From there we began to examine other nations that topped the list for “Healthiest Countries” like Spain, Switzerland and Australia.

The team and I dug deep to uncover their secrets for living these ultra-healthy, lean and long-lasting lives

Focusing specifically on weight loss and how they actually maintain such lean and slender figures.

Pretty soon a shocking pattern began to emerge…

The women who lost weight the fastest and those who were able to maintain such desirable life-long figures

Free from the stress of and guaranteed failure of dieting,

All practiced simple rituals that paired the right foods and flavors throughout their day.

The cutting-edge research proved

(Video plays in a different window)

We were shocked because even though these simple, zero-cost rituals had been undeniably proven,We had never seen the indisputable evidence until now…

It turns out there’s a despicable reason for hiding the key to unlocking the female fat-loss code…

It’s the same reason you haven’t heard about it from those TV doctors, social media weight-loss gurus, fat-loss infomercials or even your own doctor…The truth is simple…Our government can’t tax easy fat-doubling rituals and pharmaceutical

And supplement companies can’t make money off a simple flavor pairing trick that signals around-the-clock weight loss!

Because these strategies cost only pennies-a-day and are so extremely simple…

…The weight-loss industry wants to keep them locked away and buried. And if you lose the weight extremely fast, like you will this time, they can’t hook you with another fad-approach…

…that kills your dreams and empties you and your families pockets yet again.

And I’ll tell you right now,Once you hit your own weight loss goal, That 20, 30, 40 or even 100 pounds,It Just feels like an “added bonus” compared to knowing that you’ve just bought yourself extra time on this planet with your friends and family.

However, how you feel about that lady you see staring back you in the mirror each morning can be pretty powerful,

So I should give you a glimpse of what you too can expect when the weight just starts falling off… Starting tonight!

I’ve got good news for you if you are a woman who refuses to give up and finally start living your own Cinderella Story inside

THE BODY YOU DESERVE

The Cinderella Solution offers an easy to start, simple-to-follow cure using Flavor-Pairing rituals that hit the “reset-swtich” on your metabolisms 3 key fat-burning hormones; Insulin, Cortisol and Estrogen.

The product is digital and images are for visualization only

THE CINDERELLA SOLUTION

Our research that spans 60 years of proof, Combined with the results from 10’s and 1000’s of women across the globe have already proven that ladies like you are only step away from signalling a supercharged fat-loss doubling effect within your body.

If you want to watch the fat float off your body in the next 3 weeks, you simply need to re-ignite your 3 fat burning hormones to create a fat burning domino effect from the inside out.

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apsbicepstraining · 7 years

Text

7 Ways The Media Is Trying To Sabotage Your Sex Life

I want you to do me a kindnes and look inside your breathes, right now. Doesn’t matter where you are — do it. Behold the majesty of your genitals. Stare at them until you can feel the movements of annoyance emanating from your own leering gaze. Eye-fuck yourself. Because you are special and endowed with a groinal endow to the world. The fuckings you afford aren’t the fuckings we deserve, but they’re the fucks we need.

But as the Batman of boning you are beset by a belligerent rogues gallery hellbent on break-dance your obligation to the broad betterment of boinking. These mad canadian researchers and deranged journo-bros are driving around the clock to trick America into becoming a sexual wasteland, a lieu where no one knows the proper approach to appropriately sweaty love-making. And you’re the only one who can stop them. “But how? ” you ask. Easy: By reading my article about the evil investigates. “Which one? ” you ask. “This one, ” I reply, pointing to the essay. “No , no, I signify: Which contemplates are evil? ” you clarify. “Oh, right, ” I speak, somewhat abashed. “Let’s start with … “

# 7. … The One That Depresses Condom Use

According to “a study, ” women who opt sex without condoms tend to be psychologically healthier than women who opt their dicks all wrapped-up like a slimy, pulsating Christmas present. Why? Because semen, it turns out, has antidepressant characters when sucked by the vagina. Or the mouth, since this study implied oral sex too.

My favorite part of copulation articles is the stuff I find in our likenes library .

This study is less about women’s mental health than excavation. I’ve ever suspected that my dick-snot has mystical owneds, like unicorn’s blood. That’s why I whisper, “Your balls are good and important” to myself each night before I go to sleep. It’s great to have a scientist dad his head up out of my laptop and support my suspicions.

Why It’s Bullshit

It’s an anonymous goddamn examine of how 300 women recall their sex-lives are exiting, and it completely ignored other factors, like how a woman who’s having unprotected sex might be doing so with one or more close, trusted marriages. I would guess that health and regular sexual relations have a bigger impact on a woman’s joy and happiness than the male gender’s apparently Xanax-filled cum.

Your dick might make her snicker, but that’s not why .

The study also found that oral contraceptives cleared “no significant difference” on the women’s humor, so yeah, their measurings maybe weren’t too accurate. But look on the bright side: Someone is finally encouraging people to have unprotected fornication. My adage is that it’s important that every articulation be heard, even the stupid ones that are bad for the world. Wait. That seems like kind of a shitty motto now that I’ve said it out loud

# 6. … The One That Tries To Persuasion Us To Have Fornication With Our Socks On

The crotch-train to Fuckville may be a far smoother journey if “youre wearing” your socks, according to this study right over here behind these blue-blooded paroles. A cluster of scientists with better places than me sat in a chamber watching volunteers get freaky with one another and discovered that while women only orgasmed 50 percentage of the time without socks, they managed to climb Scream Mountain a whopping 80 percent of the time with socks. They concluded that wrapping your feet up drew maidens appear safer and more emotionally secure.

Why It’s Bullshit

Every article that extended the results of the study mentioned that socks attain women around orgasm wind-tunnels, but almost none of them mentioned that that wasn’t what the study was about at all. It was actually an analysis of the electrical signals inside males and psyches during climaxes. So it’s probably worth mentioning that all the fucking was arising while the participants stood almost entirely immobile with their premiers jammed in a brain scanner in the middle of a freezing cold area. Nobody has copulation like that recreationally , not even your freaky college roommate with the pet spider. And the only reasonablenes any of them were wearing socks while they railed one another was because they asked if they could, because, again, the fuckroom had a draft.

A amazingly common problem in rookie-built fuckrooms .

Either these correspondents have a major sock fetish, or they’re jealous of all our mythologically hot copulation living and “ve tried to” trick us into wearing socks as a kind of sabotage. And even if you think their advice is on the level, you are able to still be wary of taking their admonition since in this instance “mythologically red-hot copulation lives” symbolizes “manages to orgasm more than 80 percentage of the time.”

# 5. … The One That Responded You Should Cum 700 Times Per Year

Being a serviceman signifies walking around all day with a shaken-up bottle of Coca-Cola and Mentos in your pants. There’s not simply an push to have an orgasm; there’s an explosive physical pressure that, if not released, will explode your prostate like an overfilled sea bag. Harmonizing to Dr. Michael Roizen, this means that the more a soldier kills his consignment, the longer he will live. “The usual mortal who has 350 orgasms a year, versus “the member states national” median of around a part of that, lives about four years longer.” Then he lends, “with a straight face, ” according to the reporter, that 700 cocksquirts per year could include eight times to your life.

Hear that, fellow penis-havers? You can live almost an entire decade longer, and all you have to do is have an orgasm twice a period every day for the rest of your goddamn life .

Why It’s Bullshit

“Bullshit” may be too strong a word here, but holy hell is this ambitious. Seven hundred times a year? Even if “youre starting” squeezing at the bottom and toil your mode up, there’s merely so much better toothpaste in the tube, ya know? Now I know that because this is a sex happen some real Casper Van Diens are going to pop up in the comment section to brag about how they cum seven times per day with no troubles at all, and that’s fine for them. But I am merely a squishy someone over here, and my naughty flecks be able to make becoming bruised, deflated, and move. Though perhaps I’m simply not strong enough to survive those additional eight years, and this is progression at work.

Or maybe scientists are trying to trick us into jerking off all day so they can plagiarize our jobs and women .

# 4. … The One That Announced You Should Bone While Sick

When flu season slams, fornication is a possibility the best way to seek relief. Transforms out that orgasms secrete a fill is not simply of crotch-juice but of antibodies announced immunoglobulin A, which are the foot soldiers in the defensive military of your immune method. So, the harder you fuck, the most powerful your fight to those nasty germs. On top of that, the struggle of sex clears your sinuses, which stands easy breathing, better respite, and a quicker return to health.

So we should all sex our sniffles away, huh? Well …

Why It’s Bullshit

When your sinuses get cleared, I don’t have to tell you where that snot becomes, right? I know that hitches are both health and common but most people are put off by the thought of going a smash of boogery buckshot mid-thrust.

“Does this face signify I’m doing a good job or oh no ! ”

On top of that, there’s the fact that this illness is highly communicable. I know that it’s hard to keep from spreading a coldnes to your spouse, but for exclaiming out loud, at the least yield it a shot . Let’s not resign ourselves to half-hearted fever-humping all weekend, okay sweetheart? There’s still a probability I’ll be healthy enough to study a real article about a genuinely insightful and interesting topic instead of just riffing on obvious copulation laughs again.

You know, their own problems may be less that scientists are trying to sabotage our sexuality living and more that they just don’t know what a real copulation life looks like. Specially with the next entry …

# 3. … The One That Suggested Waiting For Marriage Makes Sex Better

Apparently remaining a innocent until your wedding night makes in a far more satisfying copulation life. Which is a relief, because it makes the two sides in the ancient war between Science and Religion have finally spotted a common ground, and they’re going to have soiled fornication right on that common ground as soon as they get married. Now let me just read a duet more sentences in this article about the study, and then have my thought process comically cut off mid-

“Wait! Look closer! ”

Oh, never mind. This analyze came right out of Brigham Young University, a Mormon college in “the worlds largest” religious district of “the worlds largest” religion district in the entire country.

Why It’s Bullshit

So, yeah, the results of the study is a religion organization claiming that their for-real-science-stuff supports a central maxim of their religion. It smells like bullshit right away, but it still surveyed “2, 035 married beings, arraying in age from 19 to 71, married from less than six months to more than 20 years.” Yes, they were overwhelmingly religious, and yes, the person or persons doing the study doesn’t mention myriad other problems with his sample size, but that sample size is still 100 times more than the one used in such studies about sock-sex.

So while religion bias isn’t enormous for discipline, it doesn’t seem to subvert the results any more than trying to fit the findings and conclusions into a headline. And if you want an example of that, there’s this next one …

# 2. … The One That Enunciated That Having More Sex Is Bad

Think more boner-ballets will reach you a happier ballerina? It won’t, according to this study that pronounces to enhance the frequency of sexuality within relationships actually reaches you sadder. After picking out two groups of couples, they told one to redouble their sex activity and the other to keep having the same sum of copulation as before. “The observes were a astound and a frustration, ” said the researchers. “We were expecting that the people who had more copulation would enjoy it a lot and “wouldve been” happier, and it would be good for the relationship. Instead, what we ascertained was that the group who had more sex experienced it less.”

So sex is … bad? Wait a time …

Why It’s Bullshit

One of the first things you learn when “youre starting” living on your own is that recreation things have diminishing returns. Doing something you enjoy twice as much as you want to turns that fun thought into a errand , no matter what it is. Eating bacon and fucking all day resonates really fun and hyper-masculine in theory, but if “were trying” it out, you’ll is my finding that you promptly run out of energy and then die of a Hindenburgian coronary.

The title of that article is “More Sex Can Make You Less Happy, ” but the conclusion of this study isn’t that copulation is poor. It’s that action yourself to have twice as much sexuality as you want to have is bad, which, like, yeah. We already was well known that, because we’ve had sexuality before. Unlike you, Science , you fucking nerd.

# 1. … The One That Said Sex Quality Is Based On Housework

Here’s a study that replies a fair division of chores will lead to a better copulation life. It’s contentious because it denies an earlier study that found that when men contribute to “feminine” housework it solutions in less sex. So what’s the truth? How numerous dishes should a man cleanse if we wants to fuck ?

Why It’s Bullshit

Here’s a captivating convict buried in that first link that, I suppose, blows this whole damn happen wide open TAGEND

“The same study too find there’s no link between the quantity of housework male marriages accomplished and the sex functioning of a couple.”

So, anticipate: How can a being washing more frequently lead to more fornication if the amount of housework has “no relationship” with sex? The scientist( and former pairs therapist) explains: “In any relation, the quantity of housework is going to mean something different based on the couple’s situation, based on their own expectancies for what each partner should be doing, and their likenes levels of what happens with other duos they know.”

See, the findings and conclusions weren’t that Equal Housework= More Sex; they were Fair Relationship= More Sex. Because there’s nothing hotter than working as one to stimulate dinner, coming together to rub that crispy cheese off the cookie membrane, and moving with the flowing grandeur of one blissfully united entity to vacate the recyc-

Holy shit, I’m old-time now, aren’t I?

Cracked is up for TWO Webby Awards, for Best Humor Site and Best Video Entertainment! While we’re busy patting ourselves on the back, you are able to pat more by voting here and here .

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apsbicepstraining · 7 years

Text

7 Ways The Media Is Trying To Sabotage Your Sex Life

# 7. … The One That Depresses Condom Use

My favorite part of copulation articles is the stuff I find in our likenes library .

Why It’s Bullshit

Your dick might make her snicker, but that’s not why .

# 6. … The One That Tries To Persuasion Us To Have Fornication With Our Socks On

Why It’s Bullshit

A amazingly common problem in rookie-built fuckrooms .

# 5. … The One That Responded You Should Cum 700 Times Per Year

Hear that, fellow penis-havers? You can live almost an entire decade longer, and all you have to do is have an orgasm twice a period every day for the rest of your goddamn life .

Why It’s Bullshit

Or maybe scientists are trying to trick us into jerking off all day so they can plagiarize our jobs and women .

# 4. … The One That Announced You Should Bone While Sick

So we should all sex our sniffles away, huh? Well …

Why It’s Bullshit

“Does this face signify I’m doing a good job or oh no ! ”

# 3. … The One That Suggested Waiting For Marriage Makes Sex Better

“Wait! Look closer! ”

Why It’s Bullshit

# 2. … The One That Enunciated That Having More Sex Is Bad

So sex is … bad? Wait a time …

Why It’s Bullshit

# 1. … The One That Said Sex Quality Is Based On Housework

Why It’s Bullshit

Here’s a captivating convict buried in that first link that, I suppose, blows this whole damn happen wide open TAGEND

“The same study too find there’s no link between the quantity of housework male marriages accomplished and the sex functioning of a couple.”

Holy shit, I’m old-time now, aren’t I?

Cracked is up for TWO Webby Awards, for Best Humor Site and Best Video Entertainment! While we’re busy patting ourselves on the back, you are able to pat more by voting here and here .

The post 7 Ways The Media Is Trying To Sabotage Your Sex Life appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.

from WordPress http://ift.tt/2wzGwdq via IFTTT

#IFTTT #WordPress

1 note · View note

apsbicepstraining · 7 years

Text

7 Ways The Media Is Trying To Sabotage Your Sex Life

# 7. … The One That Depresses Condom Use

My favorite part of copulation articles is the stuff I find in our likenes library .

Why It’s Bullshit

Your dick might make her snicker, but that’s not why .

# 6. … The One That Tries To Persuasion Us To Have Fornication With Our Socks On

Why It’s Bullshit

A amazingly common problem in rookie-built fuckrooms .

# 5. … The One That Responded You Should Cum 700 Times Per Year

Hear that, fellow penis-havers? You can live almost an entire decade longer, and all you have to do is have an orgasm twice a period every day for the rest of your goddamn life .

Why It’s Bullshit

Or maybe scientists are trying to trick us into jerking off all day so they can plagiarize our jobs and women .

# 4. … The One That Announced You Should Bone While Sick

So we should all sex our sniffles away, huh? Well …

Why It’s Bullshit

“Does this face signify I’m doing a good job or oh no ! ”

# 3. … The One That Suggested Waiting For Marriage Makes Sex Better

“Wait! Look closer! ”

Why It’s Bullshit

# 2. … The One That Enunciated That Having More Sex Is Bad

So sex is … bad? Wait a time …

Why It’s Bullshit

# 1. … The One That Said Sex Quality Is Based On Housework

Why It’s Bullshit

Here’s a captivating convict buried in that first link that, I suppose, blows this whole damn happen wide open TAGEND

“The same study too find there’s no link between the quantity of housework male marriages accomplished and the sex functioning of a couple.”

Holy shit, I’m old-time now, aren’t I?

Cracked is up for TWO Webby Awards, for Best Humor Site and Best Video Entertainment! While we’re busy patting ourselves on the back, you are able to pat more by voting here and here .

The post 7 Ways The Media Is Trying To Sabotage Your Sex Life appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.

from WordPress http://ift.tt/2wzGwdq via IFTTT

#IFTTT #WordPress

0 notes