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mrkwonandmrchoibabygirl · 6 years

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NOW~G-Dragon pt.17

Genre:Angst/SMUT Rated:NSFW Pairing: GD X Reader wordcount:5,426 Masterlist DISCLAIMER!:remember this is just an edit of an original book called after by anna todd i do not own this book! (if you want another edited part quick i want 50 notes and i will upload today or much sooner then i planned!)your thoughts ...ask box

Pulling into the spot next to Tae, I text Seungri to tell him that I have arrived. He writes back immediately with a note to meet him at the far left corner of the field.

I tell Tae where he’ll be as he and Rin walk up.

“Sounds good,” he says, but he seems less than thrilled.

“Who’s Seungri?” Rin asks.

“He’s my . . . friend.” He is just my friend.

“Jiyong’s your boyfriend, right?” she asks.

I look over at her. She doesn’t seem to be implying anything, she just seems confused. Welcome to the club.

“No, babe.” Tae laughs. “Neither of them are.”

I laugh, too. “It’s not as bad as it sounds.”

Right as we get to where everyone is, the school band begins to play and the field becomes more and more crowded. I’m relieved when I spotSeungri leaning against the fence. I point him out, and we head over there.

“Oh,” Rin squeals as we get close. I can’t tell if she’s surprised by his tattoos and piercings, or his good looks. Maybe both.

“Hey, beautiful,” Seungri says, beaming, and hugs me. I smile at him, returning the hug.

“Hi, I’m Seungri. It’s nice to meet you both.” He nods toward Tae and Rin. I know he’s met Tae before, so maybe he’s just trying to be polite.

“Have you been here long?” I ask.

“Only about ten minutes. A lot more people here than I expected.”

Taeyang leads the way to a less crowded area near the enormous mound of wood, and we all sit on the grass. Hyo-Rin sits between Tae’s legs and leans back against his chest. The sun is going down and the breeze is picking up. I should have worn long sleeves.

“Yeah, have you been to one of these before?” I ask Seungri, who shakes his head.

“No, this isn’t my typical scene,” he says with a laugh before adding, “But I’m glad to be here tonight.”

I smile at his compliment and right then someone walks up to the central bandstand and gives us all a warm welcome on behalf of the school and the band. After a couple of minutes of rambling on, they finally count down to the lighting of the fire, and three, two, one . . . the fire ignites and swallows the mound of wood fiercely. It’s actually quite beautiful being this close to the flames, and I can tell I’ll be warm enough after all.

“So how long are you here?” Seungri asks Rin.

She frowns. “Only the weekend. I wish I could come back for the wedding next weekend.”

“What wedding?” Seungri asks.

I look at Tae, who answers, “My mother’s.”

“Oh . . .” He pauses and looks down, as if thinking about something.

“What?” I ask him.

“Nothing. I’m just trying to remember who else said something about a wedding next weekend . . . Oh yeah—Jiyong, I think. He was asking us what he should wear to a wedding.”

My heart stops. I hope I don’t show it on my face. So Jiyong definitely still hasn’t told any of his friends that his father is the chancellor, or that he’s marrying Taeyang’s mother.

“Bit of a coincidence, right?” he asks.

“No, they are—”Hyo-rin begins, but I interrupt: “Quite a coincidence, but, then, in a town this size, there are probably a few every weekend.”

Seungri nods in agreement, and Taeyang whispers something in Rin’s ear.

Jiyong is actually considering going to the wedding?

Seungri chuckles. “I can’t imagine Jiyong at a wedding anyway.”

“Why not?” My tone is a little harsher than I meant it to be.

“I don’t know, because he’s Jiyong . The only way to get him to go to a wedding would be if he knew he could have sex with the bridesmaids. All of them,” he says and rolls his eyes.

“I thought you and Jiyong are friends?” I say.

“We are. I’m not saying anything bad about him—that’s just how Jiyong is. He has sex with a different girl every weekend, sometimes more than one.”

My ears are buzzing and the fire feels too hot on my skin. I stand up before I realize what I am doing.

“Where are you going? What’s wrong?” Seungri asks.

“Nothing, I just . . . I need some air. Some fresh air,” I mumble. I know how stupid that sounds but I don’t care. “Be right back, I just need a second.” I march away quickly before any of them can follow me.

What is wrong with me? Seungri is sweet and he actually likes me, he enjoys my company, and yet all it takes is a mention of Jiyong and I can’t stop thinking about him. I take a quick stroll around the stands and few deep breaths before walking back over to them.

“Sorry, the fire was just . . . too hot,” I lie and sit back down.

Seungri has his phone out and turns the screen away from me as he slides it back into his pocket. He tells me it’s fine and we make small talk with Taeyang and Hyo-Rin for the next hour.

“I’m getting sort of tired, I had an early flight,” Hyo-rin finally tells Tae, who nods.

“Yeah, I’m tired, too. We’re going to get going.” Landon stands up and helps Rin to her feet.

“Do you want to go, too?” Seungri asks me.

“No, I’m okay. Unless you want to?”

He shakes his head. “I’m cool.” We say goodbye to Taeyang and Rin and watch as they disappear into the crowd.

“So what’s the reason behind the bonfire?” I ask Seungri, unsure that he really knows.

“I think it’s like to celebrate the end of the football season,” he tells me. “Or the middle of it, or something . . .?” I look around and notice for the first time that a lot of people are wearing jerseys.

“Oh.” I look over at Seungri. “I see it now,” I say and laugh.

“Yeah,” he says and then squints. “Is that Jiyong ?”

I snap my head in the direction he’s looking. Sure enough, Jiyong is walking toward us with a short brunette wearing a skirt.

I scoot closer to Seungri. This is exactly why I didn’t listen to Jiyong on the porch—he’s already found some girl to bring here just to spite me.

“Hey, Seungri,” the girl says in a high-pitched voice.

“Hey, Emma.” Seungri hooks his arm around my shoulder. Jiyong glares at him but takes a seat with us.

I know I am being rude by not introducing myself to this girl, but I can’t help but dislike her already.

“How’s the bonfire so far?” Jiyong asks.

“Warm. And almost over, I think,” Seungri replies.

There is tension between the two of them. I can feel it. I don’t know why there would be— Jiyong made it clear to his friends that he doesn’t give a shit about me.

“Do they have food here?” the girl says in her annoying voice.

“Yeah, they have a concession stand,” I tell her.

“ Jiyong , come with me to get some food,” she demands. He rolls his eyes but stands up.

“Bring me back a pretzel, yeah?” Seungri yells, smiling, and Jiyong clenches his jaw.

What is up with them?

As soon as Jiyong and Emma disappear I turn to Seungri. “Hey, can we go? I don’t really want to hang out with Jiyong ; we sort of hate each other, in case you forgot.” I try to force out a playful laugh, but it doesn’t happen.

“Yeah, sure, sure,” he says. We both stand up and he reaches for my hand. We hold hands as we walk, and I find myself looking around for Jiyong and hoping he won’t see.

“Do you want to go to the party?” Seungri asks as we reach the parking lot.

“No, I don’t really want to go there, either.” That is the last place I want to go.

“Okay, well, we can just hang out another . . .” he begins.

“No, I still want to hang out. I just don’t want to be here or at that frat house,” I say quickly.

He looks surprised as his eyes meet mine. “Okay . . . well, we can go to my place? If you want; if not, we can go somewhere else? I actually don’t really know where else to go in this town.” He laughs and I join him.

“Your place is fine. I’ll follow you there,” I tell him.

During the drive, I can’t help but picture Jiyong’s face when he returns to find us gone. He brought a girl there with him, so he has no right to be upset, but it doesn’t really ease the pang in my stomach to justify it like that.

Seungri’s apartment is right off campus and is small but clean. He offers me a drink, but I decline since I plan on driving back to my room tonight.

I plop down on the couch, and he hands me the remote before going back to the kitchen to make himself a drink. “You can be in control; I don’t know what you like to watch.”

“Do you live alone?” I ask him and he nods. I feel a little awkward as he sits next to me and puts his arm around my waist, but I hide my nervousness with a smile. Seungri’s phone buzzes in his pocket and he stands up to answer it. Holding a finger up to tell me he will be back, he wanders into his small kitchen area.

“We left,” I hear him say. “So . . .” “Fair.” “Too bad.” The few snippets of conversation that I catch make no sense to me . . . except the “we left.”

Is that Jiyong on the phone? I stand up and walk toward the kitchen as Seungri hangs up.

“Who was that?” I ask.

“No one important,” he assures me and leads me back to the couch. “I am really glad we are getting to know each other; you’re different from the rest of the girls here,” he says sweetly.

“Me, too,” I tell him. “Do you know Emma?” I can’t help but ask.

“Yeah, her girlfriend is Daesung’s cousin.”

“Girlfriend?”

“Yeah, they have been together awhile. Emma’s pretty cool.”

So Jiyong wasn’t there with her, not in that way at least. Maybe he actually came there to try to talk to me again, instead of trying to hurt me with another girl.

I look over to Seungri just as he leans in to kiss me. His lips are cool from his drink and taste like vodka. His hands are careful and smooth against my arms, then my waist. Jiyong ’s heartbroken face from earlier pops into my mind, the way he begged for one more chance and I didn’t believe him, the way he watched me drive away, the outburst in class about Catherine and Heathcliff, the way he always shows up when I don’t want him to, the way he never tells his mother that he loves her, the way he said he loved me in front of everyone, the hurtful way he took it back, the way he breaks things when he’s angry, the way he came to his father’s house tonight even though he hates it there, and the way he asked his friends what to wear to the wedding—it all makes perfect sense, but no sense, at the same time.

Jiyong loves me. In his own damaged way, he does love me. The realization of this hits me like a truck.

“What?” Seungri says and pulls away from our kiss.

“What?” I repeat his word.

“You just said Jiyong .”

“No, I didn’t,” I defend.

“Yes, yes, you did.” He stands up and steps away from the couch.

“I have to go . . . I am sorry,” I say and grab my purse and rush out of the door before he can say anything else.

I take a second to think about what I am doing. I left Seungri to go find Jiyong , but I really need to think about what will happen next. Jiyong will either say terrible things to me, curse at me, and make me leave, or he will admit that he has feelings for me and that all these games he has been playing are just his way of not being able to deal with and express his feelings in a normal way. If the first scenario happens, and I mostly expect it to, I will be in no worse a state than I am in now. But, if it’s the second, am I ready to forgive him for all the terrible things he has said and done to me? If we both admit the way we feel about each other, will everything change? Will he change? Is he capable of caring for me the way I need him to, and, if so, am I capable of putting up with his mood swings?

The problem is, I can’t answer any of these questions on my own, not a single one. I hate the way he clouds my thoughts and makes me feel unsure about myself. I hate not knowing what he will do or say.

I pull up to the damned fraternity house that I have spent way too much time in. I hate this house. I hate a lot of things right now, and my anger toward Jiyong is almost to its boiling point. I park at the curb and rush up the steps and into the crowded house. I head straight for the old couch Jiyong is usually perched on, but, not spotting his mop of hair, I duck behind a heavyset guy before Hyuna or anyone else can spot me.

Rushing up the stairs to his room, I bang my fist against the door, annoyed that once again he has it locked.

“ Jiyong ! It’s me, open the door!” I yell desperately and continue to pound, but there’s no answer. Where the hell is he? I don’t want to call him to find out, even though that is obviously easier, but I’m angry and I feel like I need to stay angry so I can say what I mean—what I need to say—and not feel bad about it.

I call Tae to see if Jiyong is at his father’s, but he isn’t. The only other place that I know to look is the bonfire, but I doubt he would still be there. Still, I don’t have any other options right now.

So I drive back to the stadium and park my car, repeating the angry words I have saved for Jiyong over and over to make sure I don’t forget anything in case he actually is here. Approaching the field, I can see that almost everyone has left already and the fire is almost out. I walk around and squint in the dying light and stare at couples to see if they are Jiyong and Emma, without luck.

Just as I decide to stop looking, I finally do see Jiyong leaning against the fence by the goalpost. He is alone, and doesn’t seem to notice me walking toward him as he takes a seat on the grass, wiping his mouth. When he removes his hand, it looks red. Is he bleeding?

Suddenly Jiyong’s head snaps up as if he can sense my presence, and, yes, the corner of his mouth is bleeding and the shadow of a bruise is already forming on his cheek.

“What the hell—” I say and kneel down in front of him. “What happened to you?” I ask.

He looks up at me and his eyes are so haunted, my anger dissolves like sugar on my tongue.

“Why do you care? Where’s your date?” he growls.

I click my tongue gently and move his hand away from his mouth, examining his busted lip. He jerks away from me but I bite my tongue. “Tell me what happened,” I demand.

He sighs and runs his hand over his hair. His knuckles are busted and bloody. The cut on his index finger looks deep and very painful.

“Did you get in a fight?”

“What gave you that idea?” he snaps.

“With who? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I am fine, now leave me alone.”

“I came here to find you,” I tell him and stand up, wiping the dead grass off my jeans.

“Okay. And you found me, so go.”

“You don’t have to be such an asshole,” I say. “I think you should go home and get cleaned up. You might need stitches on that knuckle.”

Jiyong doesn’t respond but stands up and walks past me. I came here to yell at him for being such an idiot and tell him how I feel, and he’s making it very hard—I knew he would.

“Where are you going?” I ask, following him like a lost puppy.

“Home. Well, I’m going to call Emma and see if she will come back and pick me up.”

“She left you here?” I don’t like her at all.

“No. Well, technically, but I told her to.”

“Let me take you,” I say and grab his jacket. He shrugs me off, and I want to slap him. My anger is returning and I am more pissed-off than before. The tables have turned; our . . . whatever this is has shifted. I am usually the one running from him.

“Stop walking away from me!” I yell and he turns around, eyes blazing. “I said let me take you home!” I scream.

He almost smiles but frowns instead and sighs. “Fine. Where’s your car?”

Jiyong’s SCENT IMMEDIATELY fills the car, only now there is a hint of metal mixed in; it’s still my favorite smell in the entire world. I turn the heat on and rub my arms to warm up.

“Why did you come here?” he asks as I pull out of the parking lot.

“To find you.” I try to remember everything I had planned to say, but my mind is blank and all I can think about is kissing his busted mouth.

“For what reason?” he asks quietly.

“To talk to you, we have so much to talk about.” I feel like crying and laughing at the same time and I have no idea why.

“I thought you said we didn’t have anything to talk about,” he says and turns to look out the window with a coolness I suddenly find beyond irritating.

“Do you love me?” The words come out rushed and strangled. I had not planned on saying them.

His head snaps to the side to look at me. “What?” His tone is one of shock.

“Do you?” I repeat, worrying that my heart might pop right out of my chest.

He focuses forward. “You are not seriously asking me this while we are driving down the street.”

“What does it matter where or when I am asking, just tell me,” I practically beg.

“I . . . I don’t know . . . No, I don’t.” He looks around, almost like he needs to escape. “And you can’t just ask someone if they love you when they are trapped in a car with you—what the hell is wrong with you?” he says loudly.

Ouch. “Okay,” is all I can manage to say.

“Why do you even want to know?”

“It doesn’t matter.” I’m confused now, so confused, and my plan to talk out our problems has crashed and burned in front of me, along with any dignity I still held.

“Tell me why you asked me that, now,” he demands.

“Don’t tell me what to do!” I shout back.

I pull up to his house and he looks out at the crowded lawn. “Take me to my dad’s,” he says.

“What? I am not a damn taxi.”

“Just take me there, I will get my car in the morning.”

If his car is here, why doesn’t he just drive himself? I don’t want our conversation to end yet, though, so I roll my eyes, and head off toward his father’s house.

“I thought you hated it there,” I say.

“I do. But I don’t feel like being around a lot of people right now,” he says quietly. Then, louder, he goes on: “Are you going to tell me why you asked that? Does this have something to do with Seungri? Did he say something to you?”

He seems really nervous. Why does he always ask if Seungri said something to me?

“No . . . It has nothing to do with Seungri. I just wanted to know.” It doesn’t really have to do with Seungri; it has to do with the fact that I love him and thought for a second, he might love me, too. The longer I am around him, the more ridiculous that possibility seems.

“Where did you and Seungri go when you left the bonfire?” he asks as I pull into his father’s driveway.

“Back to his apartment,” I say.

Jiyong’s body tenses and his bloody fists clench, tearing the skin on his knuckles further. “Did you sleep with him?” he asks and my mouth falls open.

“What? Why the hell would you assume that? You should know me better than that by now! And who do you think you are to even ask such a personal question? You made it clear that you don’t care about me so, what if I did?” I shout.

“So you didn’t?” he asks again, his eyes like stone.

“God, Jiyong! No! He kissed me, but I wouldn’t have sex with someone I barely know!”

He leans over and turns my car off, clenching his bloody hand over the keys and pulling them out of the ignition.

“You kissed him back?” His eyes are hooded as he seems to look straight past me.

“Yeah . . . well, I don’t know, I think I did.” I don’t remember anything except Jiyong’s face in my mind.

“How do you not know? Have you been drinking?” His voice is louder now.

“No, I just . . .”

“You what!” he shouts and turns his body to face me. I can’t read the energy between us, and for a moment I sit there, trying to get a handle on it.

“I-I just kept thinking of you!” I finally admit.

His stone features soften tremendously and he brings his eyes to mine. “Let’s go inside,” he says and opens the passenger door.

Karen and Ken are sitting on the couch in the living room and both look up when we walk in.

“ Jiyong ! What happened?” his father asks, panicked. He jumps up and comes over to us, but Jiyong brushes him off.

“I’m fine,” Jiyong grumbles.

“What happened to him?” Ken turns to me.

“He got in a fight, but he hasn’t told me with who or why.”

“I am standing right here—and I just said I am fucking fine,” Jiyong says angrily.

“Don’t talk to your father like that!” I scold him and his eyes widen. Instead of screaming at me, he takes my wrist in his busted hand and pulls me out of the room. Ken and Karen discuss Jiyong’s bloody appearance as he drags me upstairs, and I hear his dad openly wonder why Jiyong keeps coming here when he never used to before.

Once we reach his room, he turns me around, pinning both of my wrists to the wall and steps up close, leaving only a few inches between us.

“Don’t ever do that again,” he says through his teeth.

“Do what? Let go of me, right now,” I tell him.

He rolls his eyes but does let me go and walks over to his bed. I stay close to the door.

“Don’t tell me how to talk to my father. Worry about your own relationship with your own father before trying to meddle with mine.”

As soon as the words come out of his mouth, Jiyong registers what he says, and he immediately looks apologetic. “I’m sorry . . . I didn’t mean it like that . . . It just came out.” He takes a step toward me with outstretched arms, but I take a step backward into the doorway.

“Yeah—it always just ‘comes out,’ doesn’t it?” I can’t help the tears pricking my eyes. Bringing my father into this is just way too much, even for Hardin.

“Baby, I . . .” he begins but stops himself when I hold up one hand.

What am I doing here? Why do I keep thinking he will stop the endless string of insults long enough to have an actual conversation with me? Because I am an idiot, that’s why.

“It’s fine, really. That’s who you are; that’s what you do. You find people’s weakness and you exploit it. You use it to your advantage. How long have you been waiting to say something about my father? You’ve probably been waiting for an opening since you met me!” I shout.

“Damn it! No I haven’t! I wasn’t thinking when I said that! You are not innocent here—you provoke me on purpose!” he yells, even louder than I did.

“Provoke you? I provoke you! Please, do enlighten me!” I know everyone in the house can hear. But, for once, I don’t care.

“You always push my buttons! You constantly fight with me! You go on dates with Seungri—I mean, fuck! You think I like being this way? Do you think I like you having this control over me? I hate the way you get under my skin. I loathe the way I can’t seem to stop thinking about you! I hate you . . . I really do! You’re such a pretentious little . . .” He stops and looks at me. I force myself to look back at him, putting on the charade that he didn’t just tear me apart with every syllable.

“This is what I am talking about!” He runs his hands over his hair as he paces back and forth across the room. “You . . . you make me crazy, literally fucking mental! And then you have the nerve to ask if I love you? Why would you even ask that? Because I said that one time, by accident? I told you already that I didn’t mean it, so why would you ask again? You like rejection—don’t you? That’s why you keep coming around me, isn’t it?”

All I want to do is run, run out of this room and never, ever look back. I need to run, I need to flee.

I try to stop it, but he has me in such a rage, I yell the thing I know will get to him, break his control: “No, I keep coming around because I love you!”

I cover my mouth immediately, wishing I could push the words back in. He couldn’t possibly hurt me worse than he has, and I don’t want to be left wondering years from now what he would have said if I told him. I am okay with him not loving me. I got myself into this knowing how he was all along.

He looks astonished. “You what?” He blinks rapidly as if trying to process the words.

“Go on, tell me how much you hate me again. Go ahead and tell me how stupid I am for loving someone who can’t stand me,” I say, my voice coming out foreign and almost in a whine. I wipe my eyes and look at him again, feeling as if I’ve been gravely defeated and need to leave the scene to bandage my wounds. “I’ll be going now.”

As I go to turn, he takes one long stride to close the gap between us. I refuse to look at him as he puts his hand on my shoulder. “Damn it, don’t go,” he says, his voice full of emotion.

Which emotion is the question.

“You love me?” he whispers and puts his busted hand under my chin to tilt my head to him. I dart my eyes away from his and nod slowly, waiting for him to laugh in my face.

“Why?” His breath comes in a hot burst against my face.

I finally bring my eyes to his and he looks . . . afraid? “What?” I ask softly.

“Why do you love . . . how could you possibly love me?” His voice cracks and he stares at me, and I feel like the words I say next will determine my fate more than anything I’ve ever done before.

“How could you not know that I love you?” I ask instead of answering him.

He doesn’t think I could love him? I have no explanation except that I just do. He drives me crazy, makes me angrier than I have ever been, but somehow I fell for him, hard.

“You told me you didn’t. And you went out with Seungri. You always leave me; you left me on the porch earlier when I begged you for another chance. I told you I loved you, and you rejected me. Do you know how hard that was for me?” he says.

I must be imagining the tears welling in the corners of his eyes, though I am too aware of his callused fingers under my chin.

“You took it back before I could even process what you said. You’ve done a lot of things to hurt me, Jiyong,” I tell him and he nods.

“I know . . . I’m sorry. Let me make it up to you? I know I don’t deserve you. I don’t have the right to even be asking this . . . but please, just one chance. I am not promising not to fight with you, or get mad at you, but I am promising to give myself to you, completely. Please, just let me try to be what you need.” He sounds so unsure of himself, it turns my insides to liquid.

“I want to think this can work, but I just don’t know how it could, so much damage has already been done.”

But my eyes betray me as the tears fall. Jiyong brings his fingers up from my chin and captures them, even as a single tear escapes down his own cheek.

“Do you remember when you asked me who I love the most in the world?” he asks, his lips inches from mine.

I nod, though it seems so long ago, and I didn’t think he was even paying attention.

“It’s you. You’re the person that I love most in the world.”

His words surprise me and dissolve the ache and the anger in my chest.

Before I will let myself believe him and turn me to putty in his arms, I ask, “This isn’t part of your sick game, is it?”

“No, Y/N. I’m done with the games. I just want you. I want to be with you, in a real relationship. You’ll have to teach me what in the hell that even means, of course.” He laughs nervously and I join him with earnest laughter of my own.

“I have missed your laugh. I haven’t heard it enough. I want to be the one to make you laugh, not cry. I know I am a lot to handle—”

I cut him off by pressing my lips against his. His kisses are rushed and I can taste blood from his cut. My knees want to buckle from the electricity shooting through me, it seems so long ago that I last felt his mouth on mine. I love this damaged, self-loathing asshole so much that I’m afraid it will crush me. He lifts me up and I wrap my thighs around him, tangling my fingers into his hair. He moans into my mouth and I gasp, pulling harder. My tongue runs over his bottom lip and when he winces, I pull away.

“Who did you get in a fight with?” I ask and he laughs.

“You’re asking that now?”

“Yeah, I want to know.” I smile.

“You always have so many questions. Can’t I answer them later?” He pouts.

“No, tell me.”

“Only if you’ll stay.” He holds me against him tighter. “Please?” he begs.

“Okay,” I say and kiss him again, completely forgetting about my question.

50 notes and i will upload another part tonight or just much sooner

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theycallmemoosey · 6 years

Text

Give me Something to Believe In...

Newsies x Last Five Years

Characters - Jeremy Jordan, Ben Cook, Ben Frankhauser, Andrew Keenan Bolger, Fiona (OC), Simon (OC)

Pairing - Jeremy x Reader

Warnings: angst, fluff, swearing…think that’s it to be honest

Word Count: Look, I wrote this on my phone, and I’m not about to count. It’s a long one, so sit comfy

A/N: Wayyyy! Second fic. So, this is deep, and sad, so don’t hurt me. Please. I really tried with this and I know some of it isn’t accurate to real life but hey, just enjoy. It escalates a wee bit quick at the end, so sozzles about that. Oh, and I tried to add a gif, but tumblr wasn’t having that…aaaaaand as always, I gotta thank my rock, @musicaltheatrenerd2002 for just being there for me and motivating me. I wove ya. Anyways, enjoy!

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You didn’t bother to look at the door when you heard the key in the lock, but instead, you snuggled further down into your hoodie and watched the next episode of Stranger Things. You heard the door close, followed by the keys being thrown onto the side table next to the door. You felt a gentle kiss on your forehead and two loving hands massage your shoulders. “Feeling any better?” You tilted your head backwards and smiled at Jeremy, “Not really, but at least I have a voice now” He chuckled, giving you one more kiss before walking over to the other end of the sofa, picking your legs up and placing them on his own. “They’re missing you at rehearsals…” “I’m sure they can live without Katherine for a few days…” “Y/N, it’s been a week” You sighed, pausing the episode, “I’ll be in by Tuesday…it will only take me two more days and I’ll be good as new” “Please get better baby girl…I miss not being able to kiss you” You kicked him playfully, “I’m glad to know that’s all I am to you” He grabbed your feet and kissed one, “baby, you’re so much more than just a kiss. Although, I would like one now” He started to come towards you, and you pushed him back, rolling off the sofa and behind the kitchen counter, “No!!! You’ll get sick! And you of all people cannot get sick!” Jeremy just laughed at you and turned back around on the sofa to watch the TV and you padded back around, placing yourself next to him and snuggling into his side. “Thought you didn’t want me to get sick?” “I need a cuddle…” Jeremy laughed and kissed the top of your head.

A few days later, as predicted, you were better, and walked hand in hand with Jeremy to the studio where you were both rehearsing for Newsies. You met at auditions, and playing opposite roles, of course you both fell for one another. You hadn’t been together for long at all but you both knew how much you loved each other and moved in within the 80th rehearsal. Now, you were at the 168th rehearsal, 12 rehearsals away from opening night. You walked into the studio after Jeremy, greeting a load of smiling boys. Ben was the first to come and hug you after becoming particularly close with you and Jeremy. “Welcome back, missy!” Ben pulled you in tight “Heya Benjamin, how you doing?” “Yeah, good, good. I’m tired, but good” Ben just smiled. You couldn’t help but watch Jeremy talk with one of the other girls. You saw them smiling and laughing and you couldn’t help but feel a bit jealous, but that was until Jeremy looked back towards you and smiled, winking. The rehearsals continued, and yourself and Jeremy walked to the studio together, rehearsed together and walked home together. When the two of you got to spend Sunday’s alone, you would typically chill out at home binging on pizza and Netflix. Sometimes, Jeremy would take you out on a date to a restaurant or the movies after rehearsals, but with the amount of work you were both under, it was a rarity. When the shows started, so did the arguments. He was constantly off to interviews and press nights, leaving you alone every day. The only time you saw each other was on stage. He wouldn’t even talk to you backstage. Instead, you would stand there and watch him talk to the showgirls. He promised it was nothing but you weren’t convinced. He apologised that he was always away from you and he promised to make things better. “Jay, how can you promise that?” “Sweetheart, please! This is our career! Don’t…don’t you want this for us?” “Us?! Jeremy, you’re the only one going to conferences and interviews and parties…it’s fantastic that your career is going great but what the hell am I doing? Is this it for me?!” “No! Sweetheart! Sweetheart, you’re incredible at what you do! Don’t you DARE say otherwise” Jeremy took your arms and stroked them lovingly, trying to reassure you. You tried to get out of his grip, but he resisted. “Babe, Y/N…I’m going to be honest with you. If I didn’t believe in you, I wouldn’t have loved you at all. Y/N, I think you’re the best actress out there…if people can’t see that, they’re blind!” You looked at Jeremy with tears in your eyes, and you took your arms away from him and wiped your eyes with the sleeve of your hoodie. “Come here…gimme a hug…” Jeremy opened his arms and you walked to him, embracing him tightly, crying into his chest, hearing light shushes from Jeremy. Surprisingly, the relationship between the two of you got better. He was more caring and spent more time with you backstage. He went to the same amount of paid interviews, but he refused to go to as many parties if you weren’t invited. The relationship at home got better too, as he would spoil you rotten by cleaning and cooking and doing things that all girls want their boyfriends to do. A few years later, Jeremy and you had a Sunday to yourself. To you, that meant a lay in followed by a day of gaming and pizza, but Jeremy had other plans. He dragged you out of bed at 8 and picked out your outfit, which wasn’t bad for a boy with no dress sense. He took you down to the park, along with a grand picnic. You spent the afternoon by the biggest lake in Central Park, laughing and talking about the cast and crew of the show. In the evening, Jeremy took you by the hand to the bandstand. “You know, we should go see that museum you’ve been wanting to see…” “Next Sunday?” “We’ll see…” “J, don’t tease me like that” you laughed, pushing into his side. Jeremy pulled you into one of his famous bear hugs and swayed you from side to side. He grabbed your hands and spun you around, so that he could grab you from behind and continue dancing. You smiled when you heard him sing I Never Planned On You in your ear. You felt his grip leave you and you turned around, looking into blank space. Confused, you looked down, noticing your boyfriend on one knee. “Jay…” “No, Y/N, let me do the talking!” You laughed, resisting the urge to sob loudly, although you couldn’t stop the tears from falling. “You beautiful, beautiful thing-“ “Thanks Jay” you laughed, crouching down to be eye level with him. You noticed how he was trying to stop crying too. “Just…lemme finish. Anyway, I…I love you so…so much. Baby girl, I…oh god I’m crying now…” he chocked back a sob, taking your hands in his, “Just. Screw the speech. Marry me, Y/N. Jesus Christ, please?” “You pansy” you embraced him in a hug, finally sobbing like a child also, “course I will” Jeremy laughed, tears falling from his eyes as he slipped the ring on your finger. He stood up, pulling you with him and hugging you tightly. Not long after, the two of you got married in front of both your families and all the cast of Newsies. Typically, when yourself and Jeremy kissed, the whole of the cast cheered in true Newsie fashion, causing you to laugh away from the kiss. The shows continued as usual, the audience becoming more and more passionate after the other. Married life with Jeremy made your relationship stronger, although you noticed him look at other girls a lot more. One night, after a difficult show, you flopped into bed and playfully screamed, making Jeremy laugh and make circling patterns on your back. “Babyyyy…what’s the matter?” “I’m tired. Is it Sunday tomorrow?” Jeremy laughed, “no, Y/N, it’s um…Thursday tomorrow” “NOOOOOOO” you screamed into the pillow, curling up into a ball towards Jeremy, who simply pulled you towards him. “How about, we get some sleep tonight, and we’ll spend the morning in bed tomorrow and won’t leave for the theatre until last minute. Pizza and Xbox and films and-“ “You” you looked up at him, pouting your lips for a kiss. Jeremy obliged and kissed you, “and me” he smiled at you and pulled you in closer, rubbing circles on your arm as he turned the TV on. “What do you wanna watch, Y/N?” “A musical…” “Aren’t you bored of-“ “Rent.” Jeremy just laughed at you, “Okay then. Rent it is” Halfway into Will I, you turned to face Jeremy, who simply held your arms. “Jay…” “Y/N?” “I…um…what do you think about trying for…a baby?” Jeremy’s eyes widened and he chuckled once, reaching to pause the film. “I…errr-“ “I’m sorry…I was just thinking about it. I saw a baby outside stage door today and I just couldn’t help but-“ “Sweetie, it’s okay” “You’re gonna tell me you don’t want kids aren’t you?” You frowned. “Actually, no. I couldn’t think of anything better to do. I want to have a baby you or me running around a house, singing songs and dancing like you” You smiled at him, “really?” “Really” “Really, Really?” “Really, really” You squealed, pulling Jeremy into a hug. He rolled you over onto your back, tickling you ferociously before he started to kiss you deeply. A few days later, you went upstate to see your family after you had the news that your sister had fallen critically ill. Jeremy couldn’t come with you as his understudy was also off sick. Obviously, you missed him but you still managed to have a good time with your family anyway. The two of you would call everyday and he would tell you all the gossip of the shows and behind the scenes. Everything was going fine, and soon your sister got better. It wasn’t until you got home and saw her in your bed that you found out about the others. “Jay, I’m home! “ There wasn’t a response, so you set your things by the front door and walked towards your shared bedroom. You could hear the sounds of giggles, but you could only hope that it was the sound of the television and not what you thought it was. You open the door slightly, making as little noise as you possibly could, seeing Jeremy in a bear hug with that one showgirl he took a liking to every day. You stood there, speechless, watching the scene you’ve dreaded for years, unable to look away. You stood there for 30 seconds, but it felt like an eternity. The showgirl, Fiona her name was, spotted you in the doorway and pushed Jeremy off her. He seemed confused at first but followed where Fiona’s gaze was, landing on his wife. “Hey…Y/N” “Don’t. You…” You couldn’t finish. You shook your head and stormed out, grabbing your bag and keys before storming down the stairwell of the apartment blocks. It took you a bit longer than usual as your suitcase was heavy, but you managed to get out the door, hearing the faint shouts of Jeremy. As you began walking down the street, calling taxi after taxi, you could hear your name being called. A taxi finally pulled up and you opened the door, shoving your bag in the backseat. “Y/N!” “FORGET IT!” “Y/N! PLEASE!” You got in the cab and told the driver just to drive, you didn’t know where. You looked out the window and saw Jeremy sprint towards the taxi, slowing down as the taxi sped off. “Miss, I need you to tell me where to go, otherwise I’m gonna be a millionaire by midnight” You couldn’t think of where to go, but then it popped into your head. You walked up the stairs, dragging your bag behind you, trying to make the cries silent. You finally arrived at his door, knocking twice, breathing heavily. “Y/N? Woah, hey…” you collapsed into his arms, your sobs becoming loud. “Ben…I…I…” “Hey, come in, sit down” Ben led you towards his sofa, rubbing your back as you sobbed. Ben pulled your bags into the apartment and shut the door, grabbing the tissues by the door and bringing them over to you. “What did he do?” “More like who…” “You’re kidding…” You shook your head, looking up at Ben’s face, his eyes wide with shock. “Holy crap, Y/N…I…holy Jesus” Ben was speechless, sitting back on his sofa in disbelief. He sighed, before taking your hand, “Y/N, I’m so sorry” You shook your head, leaning into Ben’s side as he hugged you tightly. “Y/N?” “Yeah?” “Can I ask who?” You laughed in a sigh, wiping the tears away from your eyes, “it was one of the showgirls…” “Donna?!” You shook your head slowly, turning to look at Ben. “FIONA?! THAT SLUT!” “Ben…” “NO! I KNEW FROM THE BEGINNING! SHE’S BEEN PLANNING THIS FOR-“ “BEN!” Ben immediately soften his expressions, “sorry, Y/N. I just…I KNEW that she…Jesus Y/N. I’m so sorry…I should have warned Jeremy of her” “It was his decision” “She probably swayed him” “And he still fucked her…” “Jesus. Y/N, I’m sorry” “Stop apologising. This isn’t your fault, at all. I don’t know why I didn’t clock it…” Ben just sighed in apology, and placed a hand on your arm. “Do you want to stay the night?” “I don’t want to invade…I can call my parents and I’m sure that-“ “No. I’ve got a spare room, don’t worry. I’ll go sort the room out and you order pizza” Ben placed the pizza menu in front of you, rubbing your thigh reassuringly before taking your bags into the spare room. That night, the two of you ate pizza and played on his Xbox, although you felt slightly wrong. This was what your favourite pastime with Jeremy was, and you couldn’t help but feel upset while playing your favourite game. At around 1 that morning, you retired to bed, saying goodnight to Ben and stealing a final slice of pizza. You had ignored your phone all night, afraid of what might appear, but you checked the home screen before you got into bed.

18 missed calls from Jeremy. 6 missed calls from Andrew. 2 missed calls from Mum.

Over 50 text messages from Jeremy. ~ baby girl, I’m sorry ~ come home and talk to me Y/N ~ she means nothing to me ~ I married you. I love you. ~ I need you. ~ I’m sorry.

You felt the tears fall from your face before the anger took over and you threw your phone across the room. It didn’t smash, which only made you more angry. You punched the pillow, then your suitcase and then kicked your shoe across the room, all while shouting “FUCK” and “SHIT”. Ben carefully came into the room, noticing you in your state and pulling you into tight hug. You tried to resist but eventually gave in, hugging him back. “I know, he’s an asshole. I’ll talk to him tonight Okay?” “Don’t be mean” “I won’t. Please, promise me you’ll get some sleep, ok?” You nodded, unable to form words. Ben helped you into bed, kissing your forehead and turning off the light before leaving you. He sighed, immediately pulling his phone out of his pocket. He shut down the lights and tv in the front room and brought the pizza into the kitchen before ringing Jeremy in his room. “Hello?” “What the hell, Jeremy” “Is she at yours?” “Yeah” “Thank Christ. I was worried about her…” “You don’t have the right to be! Jesus, Jeremy! Why?!” “It was Fiona’s fault! She-” “Oh yeah, of course this isn’t your fault. You cheated on her for fucksake!” “I love her, Ben, I don’t deny that. She’s everything to me. That’s why I married her! I swear, this isn’t my fault!” “Jeremy, she’s the most amazing woman I know. How fucking DARE you treat her like shit. She-“ “She doesn’t deserve me, I know. She’s perfect, amazing” Ben could hear Jeremy crying, and he sighed in defeat. “Have a long, hard think about what the fuck you’ve done. You’ve broken her. She deserves so much fucking better. Asshole.” With that, Ben hung up, feeling pure rage throughout him. Ben changed into his pyjama bottoms and slipped a plain t-shirt on, before climbing into his own bed. He laid in bed for about 10 minutes staring at the ceiling, debating with himself. He finally sighed, and got up, throwing his duvet across the bed. He silently padded across his apartment, before reaching your room. He opened the door silently and looked at your sleeping form. He walked over to the empty side of the bed, sliding in next to you, pulling you towards him. “Ben?” “Yeah. Hi. Sorry, I just…thought you might want some comfort?” You tensed, not wanting to upset him, so you just hummed and remained still. You felt his breath against his neck and you tried to keep your breathing steady. Suddenly, and unexpectedly, you felt his lips against your neck, and then travelling up your jaw, whilst his hands moved from your waist down to your thighs. You couldn’t take this anymore and you sprung out of the bed, your hands out in front of you in defence. “Ben. No! What the fuck?!” “Oh shit. Sorry. Y/N, I’m so sorry…” “So my HUSBAND cheats on me and you decide that’s your cue to just have sex with me?!” “Y/N, I thought-“ “NO! Holy crap! NO!” Ben just looked down, clearly disappointed and guilty with himself. “Get out. Please. I’m going to…go somewhere…” Ben nodded and walked out the room, leaving you to your thoughts. You made the bed and got changed into the clothes you arrived in. You cried all the while, not believing what was happening. You grabbed your bag and phone and exited, noticing Ben sat in the front room with his head in his hands. You walked down the stairs and onto the streets, unsure of where to go now. You pulled it your phone and called Andrew. “Andy?” “Jesus, Y/N! Are you okay?!” “No…I mean. I know Jeremy told you that side of the story…but…I need somewhere to stay tonight. And I know you’re definitely gay…” “Sorry?” “Ben tried to hit on me…” “Crap. Y/N…I’m coming out right now Okay?” “You’re a saint…” You waited outside Ben’s apartment block for a little while, noticing Ben’s living room light switch off around 2 that morning. Andrew arrived not that long after. You arrived at his apartment and he showed you to his room, taking a spare pillow and duvet to the sofa for himself, although you insisted for him not to. “Thanks Andy…” “No problem. I love you” “I love you too” you smiled at him, as he said goodnight to you and left you alone. The next morning, Andrew surprised you with a bacon and scrambled egg bagel for breakfast and a day of binging on Netflix. At around 4 that evening, Andrew came and sat on the sofa with you after answering emails from various agents. “Y/N, I think you should talk to him…” “Which one” Andrew laughed slightly, “your husband…he’s broken too” “He’s the one that cheated on me” “He was drunk. She spiked his drink. Fiona influenced him. He didn’t know what he was doing…” “Really?” Andrew nodded, taking your hand in his, “despite what you may think, Y/N. He married you for a reason. He does love you, I promise. Just call him. I mean…sweetie, you work together. It’s better to get this out the way before tomorrow’s show…” You nodded in agreement, taking your phone from his hands. He left you alone, after giving you a reassuring kiss on the cheek. The phone ringing was killing you, although his voice stabbed the knife further into the wounds. “Y/N?” “Hey…” “Sweetheart, listen to me. She spiked my drink, I was drunk and high and had no clue what the fuck I was doing. I love you so fucking much baby girl” “Jeremy please don’t lie” “I’m not lying honey. Y/N, I married YOU! I married YOU because I love YOU! Fiona means nothing to me. As soon as I came back to reality, I kicked her out of OUR apartment and I tried calling you, then your mum and then Andrew! Sweetheart, I was terrified you’d-“ “I’m heartbroken, Jay…not suicidal” “Babe, please. I love you! I love you more every single day! Honey, I thought we were going to try and have kids?” “So did I…” You heard Jeremy sigh over the phone, clearly in tears, “will you please meet with me?” “Where and when?” “Bandstand. At 7 tonight?” “Yeah…” “I love you so much, Y/N…” “Bye, Jeremy” You met with him, claiming you didn’t want to but you actually didn’t want anything else in the world. It was dark, the river reflecting the street lamps. You saw his figure in the middle of the bandstand, so you walked over to him, clearing your throat when you reached the stairs. “Y/N…” Jeremy sighed in delight, walking to embrace you. You walked towards him, hugging him tighter than you would have liked to. “Sweetheart, I love you so much…” Jeremy stepped back, tears already rolling down his face. You remained strong, although your hands were still in his. “Jeremy, you have to understand that-“ “Sweetheart, she spiked my drink. I didn’t know what the hell I was doing! You have to understand, I love you more than life itself, I wouldn’t cheat on you…” “Promise?” “I promise. I vow. Hell, I’ll sacrifice myself if that’s what it will take for you to believe me! Sweetheart, I would marry you again and again and add that into my vows!” You laughed, looking up to his eyes. “I love you, Y/N Jordan” “I love you too, Jay” He kissed you, pulling you towards him, almost lifting you up. “I love you I love you I love you” Jeremy began tickling you, making you laugh again, “that laugh is music to my ears…” You smiled at him as he pulled you close and began dancing with you, singing through tears. “I have no use for moonlight…or soppy poetry. Love at first sights for suckers, at least it used to be” he began to cry and you pulled him into a hug, as you finished the song. He kissed you once again, stroking the ring on his finger. “Let’s go home, yeah?” You nodded, turning to go home, but you were quickly swept off your feet, being carried by Jeremy like he did after your wedding. The show the following day felt different, as the connection between yourself and Jeremy felt new and more romantic. You had explained how Ben hit on you the previous night, and you didn’t see, but you heard from Tommy that Jeremy had a huge argument with Ben. You avoided him as much as you could, even keeping space on stage without making it obvious to audience members. One thing you did notice was Fiona wasn’t there. After the show ended, the curtains fell and Jeremy pulled you into a tight hug, kissing you softly on your neck. “Jay?” “Mmhm?” He hummed against your neck. “Fiona’s not here…” Jeremy stood back, although he kept his hands in yours. “I got her fired. I explained to Simon and he sacked her…” “Jeremy that’s…that’s her job” “And I nearly lost my wife because of her. I honestly couldn’t care less…” You shrugged and went upstairs to get changed. Jeremy was waiting for you outside afterwards, with a rose in hand. “Your servant awaits, m’lady” “Does the servant bring me ice cream?” “There’s ice cream waiting at home” Jeremy kissed you, taking your hand and walking home with you. Your contracts were soon coming to an end, and Jeremy had been offered role after role in numerous plays, although there was nothing for you. You couldn’t find a suitable show for you, although Jeremy was highly supportive. “Baby, a show will come, I promise” “Sorry, Mr. I’m being offered every part in every show” “Maybe a part will come up with me. Then we can fall in love all over again” Jeremy began making kissing actions towards you, tickling you. “Yeah…maybe” It was the third to last show, and you were getting ready in your dressing room. You got a call from your mum, telling you that your sister’s illness had gotten worse and unfortunately she had passed. You immediately went to Jeremy’s dressing room, not even bothering to knock. You entered, sobbing, “Jay, I-“ You saw Jeremy breaking apart from a kiss with a random girl. She wasn’t in the show. “Y/N…” he began to defend himself, but you just held up your hand. You watched the random girl leave the dressing room, narrowly avoiding you, scared you would kill her. “Fuck. You.” You simply spat at him, taking your rings off your finger. You placed them both on the table nearest the door, shaking your head as you turned to leave. You stopped at the door, turning to face Jeremy. “How many?” “Y/N…” “HOW MANY?!” “4” “Since Fiona or including her?” “Since…” You pursed your lips and tapped your foot on the floor. “She never spiked your drink, did she?” You watched as Jeremy shook his head, refusing to look you in the eyes. You turned around and slammed the door behind you, frozen still outside, trying not to cry loudly. Ben walked past, noticing you crying. He desperately wanted to comfort you, but couldn’t bring himself to go near you. Instead, he got Andrew. “Ands…it’s Y/N…” Andrew sprung from his seat and followed Ben, running to your side. You hugged him as soon as you saw him. He led you to his dressing room. “Y/N…what’s happened?” “5 girls! He’s been with 5 girls…” you sobbed, your hand shaking in Andrew’s. “5? That’s son of a-“ “Andy, don’t…” “That dickhead can…Y/N, I’m so sorry…” “It’s…I don’t know what I expected” Andrew pulled you into a tight hug, “move in with me. I’ll come and help move all your stuff tonight. I’ll ask Tommy to keep Jeremy out…” “Thank you, Andy…” “Do you want to do the show tonight?” You shook your head, explaining how you had to go upstate. “Why?” “My sister died a few hours ago…” “Holy…Y/N, you poor thing…” “Don’t poor thing me right now, I don’t want to be mocked…” “No, Y/N. I’m so sorry for your loss” “Which one” you tried to laugh, but instead it came out as a sob “Both…Sweetie…I’ll go and talk to Simon. He’ll understand” “Thank you, Andy” “You go get dressed, and go start packing your stuff up. Here’s my key. After the show, I’m heading straight to yours and we’ll go to my house. Okay?” You nodded, hugging him tightly. You walked back with him to your dressing room, noticing a note on the desk.

~ Y/n, I’ve asked Fiona to help me pack my things. I’m sorry that this has crumbled. I just don’t feel the same things I used to when we first got together. I know you’re broken but…we’re both hurting from this. I thought that we would stay together for the rest of our lives, but, clearly that’s not the case. I’m not putting any of the blame on you because this is my fault…we’re too young for all of this. It was too soon…I guess. I hate that your contract is ending soon, but I’m also glad that you can get away from this too. It will help you to move on. Goodbye, I guess… Jay x ~

You sat down in sobs, scrunching the note in your fist. You got changed quickly, handing the costume over to your understudy and thanking her. You ran down the stairs and out the door, finding the fresh air incredibly refreshing. You sped walked to the house you shared with Jeremy, not wanting to call it a home. You started packing your things, making the bed and folding up all Jeremy’s things that were on the floor. You couldn’t help but cry, noticing all the pictures of the two of you on your wedding day and all the other days, including a picture of you and Jeremy in the final number of Newsies as Jack and Katherine. You pottered around the house, leaving post it notes around specific parts of the house, instructing Jeremy on what to do when you weren’t going to be around. It was around 10 when Andrew knocked on the door. You opened it, smiling weakly. He helped carry boxes and bags down the stairs and into his car. On the final load, he took a box down and you looked around your apartment for the last time. You sighed, feeling a tear roll down your cheek. You brought your hand up to your neck, feeling the necklace with a J charm on it. Jeremy had bought you the necklace for your first Christmas together, and you had worn it ever since. You took it off and placed it on the kitchen counter, placing the keys next to it. You shut the door with a final sigh and practically ran down the stairs. For your the final night of your contract, you did the show. It was agonising to play Jeremy’s love interest but you avoided him at all costs backstage, Andrew staying close to prevent Jeremy or Ben coming to talk to you. The kisses you had with Jeremy were agonising, and you could feel how tense he was feeling, although for the finale kiss, he held you tightly, as he knew it would be the last one he would ever have with his wife. When the curtains fell, Andrew immediately came to your side as you both heard “Y/N!” from Jeremy. Andrew told you to ignore him and he pulled you close, walking you up to your dressing room. Another note was left on the desk, with a familiar necklace next to it.

~ I’m so sorry about your sister…she was amazing. As are you. Keep this. It’s yours. All my love in the world, Jay x ~

The necklace you left at your old apartment glistened in the light. You put it on, feeling the familiar J charm once again. You left your costume on the hanger for the last time and collected all your leaving presents and cards from the cast and crew and put them into your large bag. You looked around your dressing room and noticed the note. You put it into your bag quickly, and scribbled a welcoming note for the new Katherine. You turned the lights off and walked down the stairs, joining Andrew by the door. The years went on, and you heard about Jeremy’s success in numerous films, tv programs and shows, all whilst you were waitressing in numerous cafes and restaurants. You went to audition after audition, but no result. Even Andrew was given a part in a new show, which was awesome but heart breaking for you. One night, you were playing on the Xbox once again, when Andrew came home with a guy, obviously both drunk. “Y/N! Meet…” “Marvin” he stuck out his hand dramatically, and you shook it. “Need me to leave, Andy?” “Nah, you’re fine. Just…maybe listen to some music through headphones. Loudly” Andrew smirked at the guy behind him, leading him to his bedroom. You laughed, knowing how hungover Andrew would be in the morning. You plugged your headphones into your phone, pressing shuffle on musical playlist created randomly by Spotify. It started on a song from something called The Last Five Years. It was a pretty catchy tune…but…that voice was so familiar. It couldn’t be. You paused the game and pressed on your phone, anticipating to see the artist. And there it was. Jeremy Jordan. He was in a film? A successful one? You couldn’t help but want to watch it. It took you 30 minutes of debating with yourself before you decided to watch it. The scene unfolded with Anna Kendrick, one of your idols. She was such a good singer, but you thought she didn’t really suit straight, blonde hair. The song was about her husband, Jamie, leaving her. With a note. The camera panned around, catching pictures of Anna and him. Jeremy. Jeremy. Your ex husband. In wedding clothes. You ignored it and watched the rest of the film. The next scene, Anna and Jeremy burst in kissing like wild animals, and you couldn’t help but feel jealous. He was yours for 5 years after all. It seemed…familiar. The film continued and so many things that happened to Cathy and Jamie related so similarly to the relationship you had with Jeremy. Until you pinpointed where the film was actually about you and Jeremy. His character proposed, with the same type speech, in the same exact spot, where Jeremy proposed to you. The wedding was in the same spot. The countless gifts of jewellery. The one necklace with a J charm. The unsuccessful auditions. The countless parties. His note. The film ended, and you were in a state, your jaw wide open. Everything that happened in that movie happened to you and Jeremy. Everything. The noise had quietened from Andrew’s room and so you assumed that Andrew and Marvin were both asleep. You let out the loudest sob you could, crying into a nearby pillow. It didn’t stop. You couldn’t stop crying. It had been years, but you realised that horrible thing that no divorced wife wanted to realise. You still loved him. You don’t remember falling asleep, but you woke up that morning with your duvet over you and the sound of frying bacon in the kitchen. You padded through to the next room, spotting Andrew and Marvin talking over coffee. “There’s my princess!” Andrew opened his arms to you and you hugged him. “Sorry about last night, love. Andrew’s been telling me all about you” Marvin held out his hand, “it’s really nice to meet ya” “You too” you shook his hand and got yourself some water. “Andy?” “Yeah?” “Have you spoken to…Jeremy recently?” His eyes went wide at the mention of his name, but he cleared his throat and shook his head, “Why?” “I want you to watch a film. Over breakfast.” Andrew watched the film with Marvin, and you sat in your room, refusing to watch it again. Andrew knocked on your door after it finished, Marvin cleaning up the plates. “Hey, princess” “Hi” He shuffled over to the bed and sat opposite you, crossing his legs like a child. “It’s about you and him…isn’t it?” “That’s what I thought. But it’s all the same…the way Jamie proposed, where they got married, the parties, the girls, the notes…” Andrew noticed the tears in your eyes begin to form and he took your hand, shushing you. “I’m sorry” “Me too” you smiled at him weakly, before he patted your hand and left the room, telling you to get some proper sleep. You obliged to his request, falling asleep to Love Actually and some Ben and Jerry’s ice cream. You were sure it was nothing. The following morning, you got up for work at the cafe opposite the apartment at the usual time, after making Andrew some breakfast and waking him up so he could stretch and warm up before the matinee. Your day was fairly normal until you saw your ex boss. “Simon?” “Y/N! Wow! Hey! How are you doing?” “Umm…good I guess, yeah. So what can I get you?” “Just a coffee please. Black, if possible” “Yeah sure. No worries” you turned to walk back to the till, but Simon called you back. “Y/N?” “Yeah?” “Seriously? You work as a waitress?” “Alright, Si…don’t rub it in” “No seriously. You’re an amazing actress! Why haven’t you been given a part?!” “There aren’t any right shows for me, I suppose. I’ve auditioned for some but I’m not always perfect” “Would you like to go back to acting?” “It’s my dream, Yeah” “Y/N…I’m doing a live recording of Newsies with the original broadway cast…I was going to send out formal letters but I guess I may as well ask you now as you’re here” You stared at him, speechless, “you’re kidding, right?” Simon shook his head and you squealed slightly, going to hug him. “Of course I will! Wow! Yeah, sure! Shall I tell Andrew or shall I wait for the formal letters?” “Oh you may as well tell him…” “Thank you so much Si! Thank you thank you thank you!” “It’s my pleasure” he chuckled, seeing the excitement on your face “Right, coffee!” You practically skipped to get his order and spent the rest of the day anticipating for your shift to end so you could go home and tell Andrew. He didn’t get in until late that night, but as soon as he entered the apartment you were jumping up from the sofa to hug him. “Y/N? What’s up with you?” He chuckled, hugging you back. “I saw Simon today…” “Simon? As in director Simon?” “Mmhmm…” “And…?” “Oh right. Well…he’s doing a live recording of Newsies with the original cast! That’s you and me baby!” “Oh my god that’s amazing!” Andrew hugged you tightly, trying to restrain you from jumping and breaking the floor. “Y/N?” “Yeah?” “Did you say original cast?” “Yeah…why?” “You know…that means someone else will be in it…” “Who? Ben? Oh it’s fine, I’ll just try and fix things with him” “No…Jeremy?” “Oh…Yeah. Right.” Your demeanour changed drastically from excited to a somewhat tired manner, although you felt defeated. How could you not of thought of this? Andrew watched your excitement fall from your face into sad and uncaring. “Y/N, don’t let him ruin this for you! You’ve had…well, let’s be honest, a dry spell. And this is your break! Again…” “Yeah. Sure” “Y/N…” “No. It’s fine…who wouldn’t want to play the love interest of their cheating ex husband?” “Y/N” “I’ll do it. It’s just gonna be hella awkward” “It will be fine. Just a couple months rehearsing and a few weeks filming. I’ll be there and so will Ben Frankie, Tommy. Simon will understand too….” “Yeah. Thanks Andy” He kissed your temple and you invited him to sit on the sofa and watch the original Disney film together. Rehearsals couldn’t come soon enough. It was amazing to walk back into the studio room and meet with all the old cast, after so many years. You saw Ben Frankie first, practically jumping into his arms when he opened them. “Benny!!!” “Y/N!” “How you doing?!” “Better now I’m with my favourite girl” he smiled, and you playfully smacked him. “Y/N, it’s great you’re here and all but…you gonna be okay?” You nodded, faking a large and over enthusiastic smile. He grinned back, embracing you one more before you greeted the rest of the cast. It was inevitable that you would come back to see Ben Cook. “Hey” you walked up to him, noticing how awkward he felt. “Hi, Y/N. How you been?” “I’m still here, so I suppose I’m alright. Yourself?” “Yeah, good. It’s good to be back…” “Ben?” “Yeah?” “I forgive you. Okay? Jesus we were best friends for years, let’s not let one mistake you made ruin that. Alright?” Ben nodded, a weak apologetic smile forming on your face. He held out his hand, and you shook it playfully before hugging him. “Just, no more mistakes again” “Agreed” he laughed at you, squeezing you tightly once, “you gonna be okay being with Jeremy again?” “It’s work. I’m not gonna talk to him if I can help it” you smiled at him reassuringly. “I’m right by ya” he squeezed your hand before Simon called you all over to the circle of desks for the read through. You sat in between Ben and Andrew, laughing with them as you were handed your script. You could see Jeremy out the corner of your eye. He looked tired, depressed and beaten. You so desperately wanted to go to him but you knew it would be wrong. You both knew this was strictly work and not pleasure, so during the read through, the two of you refused to make eye contact. During the break, you were eating your pasta salad by your bag, scrolling though Facebook and Instagram on your phone. Many fans had heard about the release of the live recording and were bombarding you with good luck messages. You were reading an email from your agent when two feet stood in front of you. You looked up to see Jeremy. You half heartedly smiled at him and continued to scroll through the email. “Y/N-“ “Go away. I’m working” “So am I. I wanna talk to you” “And I want to eat my lunch, carry on with the read through and go home. So if you don’t mind, can you leave me alone?” “Y/N, please. I-“ Andrew walked over, interrupting Jeremy’s pleads, “Jeremy, take a walk. She doesn’t want to talk to you” Jeremy just looked at Andrew and walked back over to his bag, slumping down against the wall and reading through the script over and over. “You alright, princess?” “Yeah. Thanks for saving me” “That’s my job” he plopped down next to you and began digging through your bag, finding the chocolate and breaking a piece off, eating it before you could protest. “That was mine” “I’m your roommate. What’s yours is technically mine” “I’ll remember that next time you tell me off for eating your cereal” “Ah. But cereal is a different matter” “How?!” “Well-“ As if he knew, Simon called the end of the break and summoned everyone back to the desks. You finished the rehearsal and retreated to Andrew, who was talking to Simon about his new additional song. He wanted to sing it through so you got to hear it. It was the most beautiful song in the world. “Y/N, what do you think?” Simon turned to you “Beautiful, Si. Really, really nice” you smiled at him, nodding in agreement. Simon wanted to talk to Andrew privately so you exited the studio, bumping into Jeremy. “Y/N, please can I just talk to you? For 5 minutes? Please?” “Go away” you continued walking down the hallway, trying to get to the stairwell as quickly as possible. “Please! I just want to apologise?” You stopped and turned around to face him, “apologise? APOLOGISE?! JEREMY! You broke my heart into a thousand pieces! You lied to my face! You slept with 5. Other. Girls! Jesus Christ, Jeremy! Is your brain really that fucking small to not think for a second that your ex wife who divorced you for cheating on her is just going to forgive you? You didn’t mean a single word of our wedding vows, and I know you meant every word of our divorce. You’re a fucking joke. I bet you even think I came back for you. I’m just here for Simon. I’m here for the boys. Not for you” Jeremy just stood there, staring at you. His lip was shaking and he tried to form words but you shook your head and left the building, sitting on a step outside waiting for Andrew. You waited for about 15 minutes, thinking about your previous relationship with Jeremy, before Andrew came outside, walking home with you. When you got inside, Andrew called shotgun on the shower first so you retired to your room, changing out of the sweaty clothes and into your robe, waiting your turn for the shower. You were sorting through the laundry when the landline rang. It was odd, as the landline only rang when it was Andrew’s grandmother, but she always emailed first to let him know. You walked over to it, Andrew’s t-shirt in hand, and answered. “Hello?” “Y/N? It’s Jeremy” “Oh my god, now you’re stalking me?!” “No, Y/N, I just really need to talk to you…” “Jeremy, you had your chance. I’ve forgiven you once before, and even then you fucking lied to me! Why do you think ill forgive you now?” “Y/N, I’ve spent the last 5 years in depression from losing the one thing I loved the most. I don’t know what got into me. I loved you and I still do. I know I married you for a reason…” “I know I divorced you for a reason” “Y/N, please just talk it through with me?” “No. Please, stop this. I’m trying to work. Leave me alone” You hung up, not wanting Jeremy to get another word in edge ways. You began to cry into the t-shirt in hand, when Andrew came up behind you, rubbing your arms. “Please wash that again” “Fuck you KB” “I love you too. That was him wasn’t it?” “He’s stalking me, I swear” “He spoke to me on the stairs. I hate him with all my guts, I mean why wouldn’t I? He hurt my girl” “Shut it…” “But anyway, he said he’s never felt more alone and unwanted in his life. He really loves you” “I love him too” “I understand why you’re being like this, I mean I would too if Marvin pulled a trick like this on me…but at least give him a chance?” “I already did” “Every person gets 3 strikes. He’s made 2…let this be his last chance. Who knows? Things may get better” “My life HAS been better. Without him…” “Try it. For me? If you both agree to get on, fantastic. If you don’t? Fine. But at least give it a shot” You contemplated it for a bit, before sighing, “I hate when you’re right” “Indian or Pizza tonight?” “Indian…” “And what film?” “Elf…” “Y/N, it’s the middle of June, you can’t watch a-“ “Elf” “Elf it is then” Andrew chuckled, kissing your temple before going to order the food. The following day, you worked on King of New York with the boys, which was the best day you had in years. The way you all laughed and mucked about, all while doing one of the best songs. It was tiring to do so much tap dancing after so many years, but you felt refreshed after rehearsal. When it ended, Andrew was waiting outside for you and you walked home together. You were halfway down the street when you heard your name. You turned around and saw Jeremy jogging behind you. You groaned and continued walking, but Jeremy grabbed your wrist. “JEREMY! LEAVE ME-“ “You left your phone…” You looked at his hand, which held your phone. You cleared your throat awkwardly, taking your phone from him quickly. You gave him a weak smile, “Thanks…” Jeremy just smiled at you, before walking back towards the studio. You couldn’t quite believe what had happened, and you just turned to look at Andrew, who had a cocky smirk on his face. “Don’t start” “I didn’t say anything!” “Yeah fuck off Andy” “Y/N!” He laughed loudly, plodding alone behind you as you childishly stomped off. Jeremy was typically good at leaving you alone, only talking to you when you were working on a scene together. You admit, it was hugely awkward at first, but as rehearsals continued, you began to share smiles and laughs, feeling more comfortable, although the two of you didn’t talk out of rehearsals. During the last few rehearsals, Simon sent you and Jeremy to practice Something To Believe In, and the kiss…it felt so different. He never did it the way he just did. He grabbed your waist and pulled you towards him with a swift motion. He looked at you for a minute before gently pressing his lips to yours. His other hand ran up your arm and landed on your upper back. You felt your stomach tumble and kissed him back, bringing your arms up from your side up to around his neck. Neither of you attempted to pull away. If anything, you both tried to deepen the kiss even more. Eventually, he stopped, and you rested your forehead on his, panting for your breath again. “Shit” you whispered, laughing slightly. Jeremy laughed with you, bringing his arms to both of your arms, stroking them. “Y/N…I’m sorry” “I know. I’m sorry too” “what do you have to be sorry about? Jesus I put you through hell! What I would do to turn back time and stop myself…” You cleared your throat, pushing away from Jeremy, “maybe we should go over our first song, because I think we’re a bit rusty on the-“ “Y/N…I want to try us again” “What?” “I miss you. So fucking badly…” “Jay-“ “No. Please. I love you so much. I have done since the day I met you, and I have never ever for a singular moment stopped loving you. I would take every fucking mistake back if I could if I knew I wouldn’t lose you. I love you so fucking much…” You sighed in defeat and took Jeremy’s hand, “Jay, I love you too. But this isn’t right” Jeremy kissed your hand, but you pulled it away, “I’m sorry, Jay…” He nodded, smiling at you weakly. As if a miracle happened, Andrew came into the room. “Si wants you two to come in…he’s giving an overview” Jeremy went out quickly, leaving you to plod our behind him. “Alright Princess?” “Mmhm…I just need some ice cream” “I’ve stocked up at home” “I love you” Andrew smiled at you and walked with you to the other room. All the way through the overview, you couldn’t stop thinking about Jeremy. You looked over at him at one point to catch him staring at you. You moved your gaze quickly, smiling at the thought. “Shit…” you mumbled, Andrew catching it. “What?” He whispered. “I’m falling in love…” Andrew just stared at you, anger across his face. “Ice cream. Tissues. Serious conversation.” Andrew whispered harshly, before turning his attention back to Simon. You sighed deeply and slouched back into your chair. Back at home, you felt like you were being interrogated. “Y/N, what the hell?!” “I don’t know…I don’t know I don’t know I don’t know…” “Ice cream. Talk.” You took a spoonful of ice cream, before mumbling to Andrew “he’s him. He’s apologised” “Y/N, he cheated on you” “He was sincere” “Y/N, he’s a cheater” “Hang on, Andy! You’re the one that told me to give him another chance!” Andrew just stared at you blankly, before you pointed at the tub of ice cream, “spoonful” He groaned, taking a spoonful of ice cream, when you both heard the phone ring. “Hello?” Andrew picked up your own phone, fighting you off, “No, she’s in the shower…” “ANDY OFF!” Andrew looked at you, stopping fighting you before handing the phone over to you, taking another spoonful of ice cream. “Hello?” “Y/N, hey. It’s me” “Hey, Jay” “Listen, I was wondering if you were willing to meet with me? Just to talk things over?” You sighed, debating what to do, “Where?” “Bandstand?” “What’s your obsession with that place?” You heard him laugh over the phone, “It means a lot to me. I’ll see you there before rehearsals?�� “Sure. See ya” You hung up, flinging your phone across the bed, looking up at Andrew’s shocked face. “I don’t believe you” “You’d hate me if I told you what happened today” “What happened?” You just smirked and left the room, rubbing towards the bathroom like a little kid. “Y/N!!! What happened?!!!” You chuckled behind the door, only leaving when you knew the coast was clear. He was leaning against the wall opposite the door, his arms crossed. “You kissed him didn’t you?” “That’s my job” “For pleasure…didn’t you?” You just nodded at him, smiling cheekily. Andrew groaned and began to tickle you. The next day, you met Jeremy at the bandstand. He was dressed in jeans and a shirt, smart for him to be honest. He held a singular rose in his hand and a small box in the other. “Jay?” “Hey, Y/N…” “What’s all this?” “For you, if you want it?” “Jeremy…” “Y/N, I want nothing more than to make you happy. I’ve learnt from my mistakes and I swear that I will do everything in my power to get us to where we were. I love you with all I have. I’m not asking you to marry me, but I’m asking you if you want to be mine again?” He opened the box, revealing your engagement and wedding ring on a silver chain. “Andrew’s gonna kill me…” “I’m surprised you haven’t killed me” You looked at him, smiling, “Jay, I’ll be yours again. But you gotta work hard to get us back to where we were. We’ll take it slow, okay?” “You’re mine?” “Always have been” you walked up to him and hugged him, hearing his sobs. You shushed him, running your fingers through his hair. He helped you put on the necklace and walked you back to your old apartment. “Jay, it’s a mess!” “I haven’t had you here to help me” “But you’re not incapable” “I’ll walk you home, so you can grab your stuff before rehearsals. I just need to grab my stuff and then I’m set” “I actually don’t want to go home” “Why?” “I’m scared Andrew might kill us” “He’s a petal, he won’t harm either one of us, no matter how angry he is” He walked up to you, kissing your cheek and pulling you in for a hug before walking you home. Andrew was surprisingly supportive, and congratulated both of you before walking with you both to the studio. The rehearsals went on and then filming began, day after day after day. Each day, Jeremy would come over to your apartment with Andrew and take your stuff back to his, until eventually, you were moved back in. Jeremy worked incredibly hard, spending every moment he could with you. He took you out every night and even when you didn’t want to go out, he spent the night with you with a pizza and Xbox, just as it used to be. You truly fell in love with him all over again, and felt like you did before he proposed. The last day of filming was in front of an audience. The thrill of performing in front of an audience again made Jeremy go wild, and he covered your desk with little gifts that reminded you of your marriage with him, excluding the girls. He knocked on your door at the 15 minute call, waiting to walk you down. “Jay, can I ask you something?” “What’s up?” “It’s about that film you did…with Anna Kendrick?” “No, I didn’t get with her” “Jay, not funny…” “Sorry” “Why was it so similar to our relationship?” Jeremy sighed and hesitated slightly, “the director asked me to do it, and I almost turned it down because of our divorce. I went through the story and he loved it. It fit every song perfectly. Didn’t you see it was dedicated to you?” “Was it?” “Mmhm…” “I didn’t watch until the end of the credits…no normal person does” Jeremy laughed and engulfed you in his famous bear hug. “Come on, baby girl. Show time” You smiled at him and walked backstage hand in hand. You fixed your mics and gave each other a final kiss before he went on. You felt so proud in that moment when he was singing, as if he was your husband. He was, truly, even if he wasn’t legally. The show went on and the reaction from the audience was overwhelming. Singing your song again in front of an audience felt amazing and you came off stage nearly in tears. It was coming to the end, and you were singing the final song. As rehearsed, Jeremy pulled you into the final pose. You saw him fiddle with his mic pack before he whispered in your ear. “Marry me? Again?” He stood back, looking at you lovingly. You stood there, trying to catch your breath, unable to form words. Your eyes started welling up and you just nodded, kissing him deeply. The audience went wild and the cast just looked at the two of you as you held on to each other. All the memories of him cheating forgotten. You truly believed he had changed and you had always wanted to spend the rest of your life with him. You promised to love him until death, and you would. He promised to support you in everything you did, and you knew he would. He believed in you and you believed in him. You knew this was right. “Yes!”

#jeremy jordan #ben cook #andrew keenan bolger #Newsies #newsies imagine #newsies oneshot #musical #last five years #reader insert #jeremy x reader #ben x reader

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