#it's too bad there's no phrase to express that you don't like shipping. and you would prefer the antithesis of shipping

[starlit-mansion]

i've actually been trying to think very hard if i've had an actual ship outside of my ocs or incidentally liking a 100% canon relationship as part of the story for the past three years and i'm coming up with like... one??? but tbh that one is 99% fan content and i like it just as much nonromantically as well

[shanastoryteller]

Happy Valentines Day Shana!! 💕💕 Sybok and Jim contiuation? I wanna see more of Sybok teasing the shit out of Spock for his oblivious crush

a continuation of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

It's rude to speak in a language not everyone present speaks, however Sybok became immune to social niceties around the time his father stopped bringing him to official functions. He switches to High Vulcan to say, "We can tell her I picked you up off an Orion slave ship."

Uhura's right eye twitches.

"She can understand you," Jimmy says. "She's a xenolinguist."

Bones's eyes narrow. He's so much more indignant in person than in the background of Jimmy's video calls. "What are you going on about now? I hate when you do this. I always feel like you're planning how to dispose of my body."

Jimmy had told him that Bones had started studying Vulcan. He'd also told him that he was incredibly bad at it, but not everyone can be Jimmy, which was realistically probably for the best.

He drops down to standard Vulcan to say, "Ah, so you have a talented tongue," since there's really no way to say that in High Vulcan that's a double entendre. It doesn't help that most of their potentially risque phrases are hand rather than mouth oriented, but he's learned to make do.

Spock turns an unhealthy shade of pale as his eyes widen the tiniest amount in abject horror.

Uhura raises her eyebrow in a way that reminds him of his brother. "To master a language is the study of a lifetime. I would be most appreciative if you were to give me a hand in achieving this endeavor."

Spock's skin flushes and he looks around like he's seriously considering running away from this conversation.

Sybok is delighted.

"Uhurua!" Jimmy shouts, hands on his hips. "Come on! I say that to you and you don't even let me buy you a drink, but you'll just proposition Sybok in the middle of the hallway?"

"She did what?" Bones hisses.

That is one possible interpretation of her words.

"I might have gotten around to propositioning you too," she says, "if you hadn't gotten your ass beat."

"Okay, I think I did okay, actually," Jimmy argues while Bones's face morphs into an expression eerily similar to Spock's.

He loves Earth.

[feroluce]

Not to make everything about my ship, but if I don't do it no one will, so today we are making meta analysis of Boothill's faceoff match about henghill, because the differences between Boothill's stand off with Luka and his one with Dan Heng- and what you can infer about Boothill himself and what catches his eye in a person- makes me chew concrete.

JUST. I loved the scene between Luka and Boothill so much. I love how wildly unrestrained Boothill is. He really just shoved the barrel of his gun in his opponent's face and put the fear of death into him as a way to test Luka's resolve. I utterly adore him. I hope he does it again. Anyway.

When confronted with all this, Luka freezes. His stress-induced hallucinations were already bad, but you can see how they really ramp up in this match, because before, they were always something familiar. Previous enemies became Silvermanes, or Belobogian automatons, or even Cocolia. Luka is far from home for the first time in his life, and he's so terribly homesick his brain is making everything familiar, because that is what he's desperately craving right now.

But Boothill.

Boothill is something so new, and unique, and horrific and terrifying, that he becomes something entirely unknown to Luka. His hallucination manifests as Something Unto Death, as the very fear of death itself.

And this stand off (which I love so much that this is how this match progressed, because like that's literally just Boothill's in-game skill; he locks the enemy into a one-on-one duel, so this was extremely in character for him) lasts long enough that Owlbert starts having to fill in the silence over the loudspeaker,

and even Boothill himself starts trying to push Luka into making a decision one way or the other.

Given that Boothill is a hunter by trade and is proven to have all the patience to track his prey and then some, this was more for Luka's sake than any impatience on his part, to try to shove him out of his freeze reaction.

And Boothill isn't really hard to read throughout this whole exchange, he all but says outright what he's looking for.

Boothill wants to see him surpass this test and come at him! You can see it in his face when Luka finally takes a step! And in how he congratulates him!

And then he fucking shot him snxhsjksjsn

Boothill admires courage, and bravery, and decisiveness. He admires a person's ability to put their life on the line and still fight in the face of danger and overwhelming odds. Those are the things that catch his eye.

And Luka does kind of get there eventually, but it is a stalling, halting motion that gets him there, and he fell to pieces immediately afterwards. This is his first time with this, and he's still figuring it out.

Dan Heng, on the other hand.

Boothill's stand off with Dan Heng from 2.2 is so fucking far in the total opposite direction that it is HILARIOUS.

Boothill literally breaks into the Astral Express, ambushes Dan Heng, and Dan Heng still has the balls to not only demand info out of Boothill- like doesn't even ask nicely, demands it- he also just straight up calls Boothill a liar. Right to his face! And he still isn't nice about it!!

By the way, that entire conversation? This is how it takes place.

Boothill, phrasing!!

Boothill has him at gunpoint! Dan Heng does not have his weapon with him! He does not flinch, and even stands there with his arms crossed seeming simultaneously pissed and utterly unimpressed. He looks like he should be irritably tapping his foot and looking down his nose at him. Dan Heng could not give less of a shit.

For that matter, Dan Heng even turns his back and walks away from Boothill- right in the middle of him talking, too! Not a single attempt to be considerate of the man who could decide any moment he feels like decorating the wall with Dan Heng's brains.

Dan Heng is brave and courageous and completely unflappable in the face of danger. He is ruthless and decisive in how he conducts himself, even when staring down the barrel of a gun. And through his efforts in Penacony, he shows the ability to put his life on the line and fight through overwhelming odds to save his once-in-a-lifetime companions.

No wonder Dan Heng caught Boothill's eye the way he did, no wonder the two of them were working together and bantering not even minutes after Boothill pulled a gun on him haha

[olderthannetfic]

Re: discourse about using outliers / the worst examples of a group to justify generalizations-- this is also a problem with the femslash wank asks

I'm one of those filthy f/f folks who actually does want to see more femslash relative to mascslash, but I'm not anti-fujo or a terf or telling ppl to change their own tastes. I'm proship / SALS and kinkmato and I think fujoshi are great; I appreciate their massive contribution to fandom culture including AO3's existence itself

But some ppl seem like they just hate f/f fandoms generally and want a reason to bitch about us? and I've felt super demoralized by it whenever I read your blog lately

Like the complaints about f/f being too wholesome and fluffy and that this is somehow bad?? tumblr is C O V E R E D with cutesey fluffy bubbly m/m art using That Artstyle we all know and nobody complains about it. But when sapphic art is like this suddenly its cause we're boring sexless puritans who dont know what pussy should look like? The huge amount of kinky weird depraved f/f thats out there gets totally erased and the wholesome stuff gets scapegoated as a symbol of regressiveness.

Or the constant lecturing to "JuSt CrEaTe It YoUrSeLf" as if nobody who says they want more f/f would actually be making it??? How do you KNOW they're not making it? Are you stalking the tumblr of every ao3 f/f author to make sure they never expressed the opinion you hate , and vice versa??

Yeah a few awful ppl have been super obnoxious, terfy, or puritanical bullies with how they talk about this topic. But when you constantly bring those people up to demonize talking about it at all it feels like you're creating a taboo around it because you want those annoying lesbian feminists to shut the fuck up. Cause how dare we, right? How dare we express desire for something in a way that reminds you patriarchy exists.

You won't even let us express that we're bitter or sad about feeling like a minority even amongst other queer women. You won't let us express simple jealousy without interpreting that jealousy in the most terfy antiship bad faith way possible!

I won't defend those who actually harass ppl or moralize over ships. I won't defend anti-fujos. But when you constantly lump me in with those people just because I looked at AO3 stats and went "Hmmm, it would be cool if this was more balanced :/" or whatever it feels like you just don't want me to say anything at all

--

Is this about me personally? Yes, I agree that topics that are repetitive start to feel like an attack.

But with regards to AO3 stats, this is my pet peeve, as you probably know if you read here often, and I'm unlikely to stop being angry about it.

AO3 is extremely unusual in the history of fandom for being a very big, very multifandom site that is not m/m-specific but where m/m outnumbers other things. There have been large-ish slash archives before. There have been and still are other large, multifandom archives, from FFN and Wattpad, which are in AO3's weight class, to medium size ones like MediaMiner. The spaces that aren't m/m-specific generally have f/m vastly outnumbering m/m. They also make it harder to get stats than AO3 does.

I don't have an issue with people looking at overall fandom stats and complaining that f/f has the short end of the stick when it comes to fanfic broadly. I do object to people pulling only AO3 stats and going "The one anomalous clubhouse that looks like this is the problem" and pointing at m/m.

It's the same problem you point out, just in another direction. After being told "Okay, but the amount of m/m..." constantly for years, people are fed up and never want to hear it again. Even if it's phrased nicely. Even if the person saying it is also hurting.

[oldtvandcomics]

Not to contribute to a Discourse, but I keep seeing the "should we ship Alastor or not" thing, and. Like most other things, it lacks nuance.

It is true, many people don't understand how to write him in a relationship without it feeling very weird and very out of character. But this is also true about most popular ships? The voices of the characters are not right, and they keep acting in a way that is too sweet, too romantic, and the actual dynamic that made that ship interesting in the first place is missing. "He would not fucking say that" is such a popular phrase for a reason.

In Alastor's case, his asexuality is one of the major things that fanfic authors get wrong. Another is his moral grayness, his difficulties expressing (or even noticing) his emotions, and, at least in the Alastor/Lucifer ship (which is what I have been reading) the antagonism of the canon relationship and how they would navigate it with their absurd fight for dominance. And yes, these are definitely problems.

But, as someone who has been bingeing these fics faster than the tag is moving, these are only some of the fics.

And every popular ship has got a lot of bad writing in it.

The good fics, despite being shippy and more often than not, smutty, all acknowledge Alastor's asexuality in some way. It depends on that author, how, but I have seen him confused about this new situation, participating in sex for his own reasons like manipulation and enjoying having control, I have seen what in other fics would be sexual desire replaced with hunger for blood, hunger for power, or desire for closeness, I have seen asexual and aspec authors use him to talk about their own experiences with being sexualized against their will, or to explore what they would and would not be comfortable with doing. I have seen Alastor look for and find ways around his discomforts, using magic and staying clothed and making sure that he is in control.

So I don't know. Are people being weird about him? Heck yes. But I feel like fics, even shippy and smutty ones about Alastor are also doing some actual good, representation-wise. I can only speak for myself, but I can say for certain that watching a powerful, asexual character navigate his way around sexuality has filled a need in me that I didn't even realize that I had.

I'm really not wanting to start any fights here, just, you know. Different angle to look at this from.

[pawberri]

I don't think the DNI thing is deep in that direction

I think there's a big issue online with puritanical thoughts and feelings where some people feel like they need to prove that they're good people via putting bad people in a DNI (when chances are, those bad people won't even listen anyways)

There's a huge issue as well with people being disgustingly violent towards even people they consider close friends for daring to do something like...like a cartoon. Or not like a ship. Or what have you I've seen too much of all sorts of things like that

In regards to DNIs specifically, there's a huge culture of being absolutely unclear abt boundaries within a DNI ("DNI freaks" is a huge one I see. What is a freak to this user? They don't specify) and some DNIs are just veiled bigotry

I wish I could think of a DNI as an actual list of boundaries but so many people have misused the concept overall to be assholes as well ("DNI if you're [insert queer identity here] bc you're gross and weird and I don't wanna talk to you")

I think with those nuances in mind it can make sense to look at some people's DNIs and go "is this performative? Are you scared of someone treating you like shit if you don't have this here?"

Because sadly, DNIs aren't just boundaries anymore. They're "activism"

I was snarky in my phrasing in the last ask, but I do think the issue here is that you disagree with the boundaries, not the dni. These people would still be expressing opinions and perspectives you disagree with (validly or not) regardless of if they listed it all out. I can understand your perspective. I still disagree that the fundamental issue with these positions isn't having an absurd or reactionary belief but saying "dni". I think anyone who uses "dni women" or broadly says "dni freaks" is expressing bigotry or a reactionary feeling in a format that's meant to present it as a boundary. I would also argue that the social impulse to perform moral purity is not inherently linked to the idea of a dni. The two end up interacting, but you would not solve anything about the root of the issue by being "anti dni."

Like I said before, a lot of people have very stupid dnis. A lot of people have really stupid beliefs and maybe even stupid boundaries. A lot of people are performative in their actions. This reflects in their dni, but the disagreement you have is not with their dni. It's with their wider behavior or the wider culture they participate in. It is with their beliefs. It just feels like missing the forest for the trees.

[bambifornia]

more swindle headcanons because he won't leave my brain and i'm tired of him

crazy good at math. he's able to calculate the price/cost of something within seconds. the only reason he's not a mathematician/accountant or anything like that is because swindle wouldn't do well with those jobs. swindle likes moving on his pedes, not sitting behind a desk

extremely well-versed in politics. but not because he's very political or anything; swindle just likes knowing where and when the next intergalactic war is raging so he can profit off it. it helps to keep up with the news

workaholic. though this trait is less notable to see in him than say, someone like optimus (mostly because swindle takes great care not to let his exhaustion be shown. his image MUST be perserved, after all)

used to keep a diary in which he noted anything interesting he found on the planets he traded with. he was actually semi-organized with it, and even included some crude doodles of the organics he ran into. he stopped journaling once the war broke out, though, and hasn't journaled since due to fear of his diary being used as blackmail

answers questions like a politician. if u want a straight answer from swindle then good fucking luck LMAO. he doesn't like to go into detail about his past. it's all old news, anyway

he's a Beyonce fan. i feel it in my bones

puts effort into his image. granted his image got fucked over ever since he defected to the decepticons LMAO but the point is that swindle tries to make himself look better than he actually is.

surprisingly open-minded. he has to be. if he were to be openly xenophobic to the multitude of alien races he trades with, then his business would tank. besides, he's actually pretty curious about other worlds besides his own (ex; how he mentioned he spied on the human villains in the SUV episode, and thought their whole get-up was "exciting")

he hates hates HATES the cold. if he HAS to do business in a cold planet, he will bitch and complain about it the entire time except when he's in the negotiating room

when he was a young bot, swindle was pretty open book. that's not to say he didn't LIE back then, it just so happened that swindle was created with a super expressive faceplate, and you could always tell what swindle thought based on whatever look he was giving you. this got him into some...issues (dw he learned how to keep a poker face later on)

not the jealous type (how can he be jealous when he's the most wanted bachelor on cybertron?) but on the rare occasion that he IS, he gets real quiet. probably sulks to himself in a corner while sipping on some energon. if confronted, he'll brush it off but don't you doubt it for one second; he is PISSED

says he doesn't have any regrets or moral dilemmas about his job, but that's only half of the truth. swindle takes care not to give himself enough time to think about the past. it makes living easier that way. and swindle is a creature who seeks comfort, even if it inconveniences everybody else around him. don't try to call him out on this bad habit of his; he will huff and excuse himself by claiming you'd do the same thing too if you were in his shoes (or pedes?)

he does not like keeping living things in his subspace. he's made the mistake of storing a organic he thought was cute when he was younger, and it ended up with a trip to med-bay (surprisingly, organics don't like being in strange voids filled with nothing but weapons)

fantastic at detecting scams. he doesn't have a mod for it or anything, he just KNOWS

has a """"healthy"""" amount of paranoia. he claims he's just looking out for himself, given the kind of business he's in, but there's times where the paranoia really fucks with his health

really likes sprinkling those "infomercial phrases" into his daily speech. he thinks it makes him sound suave. thought he sometimes fucks up with the delivery and he just gives up mid-way lmao ("guard the prisoners...orrr loot the ship? it's a no process-...or? er? err..." - a direct quote from decepticon air)

he's mostly self-aware. the only thing he isn't honest about to himself is his own emotions

whenever he feels stupid stuff like "fear" or "stress" or (shudder) "remorse" he takes a look at his bank account. it helps him, in a weird way. because yes, he's an outlaw, and yes, he's technically gambling his and everyone else's life, and YES, there's days where he winds up battered and broken, barely an inch away from death, but...at least his efforts aren't for nought. they're adding up to something; with every corpse, swindle's wallet gets fatter. and with all that money in his servos, swindle might be able to buy himself the one thing cybertron can't offer him: peace

^ swindle thinks he deserves this. he delusionally believes he deserves peace and riches more than anybot

[shatcey]

12/05 (Nobunaga)

There were 3 story events dedicated to his previous birthdays and a new one.

As you can see, I ended them all on "sweet endings". There are two reasons for this. The first… I don't need clothes. There are too many clothes in this game, and I rarely use them at all. And the second… in the premium ending, you need to have too much personal glamour. Even for the first walkthrough. I tried a couple of times and gave up. This game rarely gives me anything, and for some reason I took it for granted. So be it. I'm happy to just read something.

A new event with Keiji in the background is about Nobu is taking (I almost said Kate, what's wrong with me?) Mai on a ship trip to another country. Given that he taught her a few Spanish words, they are most likely traveling there. I'm a little worried about the time they need to spend to get to their destination… It's quite far away, and at that time they didn't have fast ships. But if forget about it… event was pretty cute. Nobu never ceases to amuse me, and I really like all his facial expressions.

Oh… and for the first time, I saw Nobu avert his eyes. It's like seeing a miracle. Even the blush on his face wouldn't have surprised me more)

The second event, "Love from the Future to the Past," is dedicated to how Mai sews new clothes for him. The funniest thought was from Nobu, who called "window shopping" "spying". This thought never crossed my mind, but now I can't stop thinking about it.

And the last one made a huge impression on me, as the most bizarre and funny of all.

The event begin with Mai noticing that Nobu was in a particularly bad mood. And she asked what happened.

The next day is his birthday, and she offers to go and buy him his candy. In the morning they went to the city, but someone bought everything before them. And they went to another city. On the way, Nobu bought a horse… he just threw the money to the man and took the horse…

In the next city, they meet with Kenshin and Shingen. And after a seemingly completely ordinary exchange of phrases. Mai said that these candies were for her (because otherwise they wouldn't let them through) and Shingen said that he would be the one to buy them for the Princess first. And someone said something about rare pickled plums, and it caught Kenshin's attention.

And so they start to race for each other on horses, fighting with swords. Oh, boys…

Awwww

When they reached the next city, they decided to stop fighting (for the safety of civilians) and split up to find candy and plums (the chase is still ongoing). But the result was the same. Someone bought it all before them.

Sasuke appears and lures Kenshin and Shingen with plums and some sweets to bring them both home. And who is the most "toddler" of these warlords?..

So… Mai was upset that they didn't find any candy for him, and she actually wanted to buy him some gift on the way (but because of all the chases and fights, she didn't have time for that). But Nobu is in a very good mood.

Indeed...

They return home late for his birthday party. All the boys are dressed in bright new clothes and, in my opinion, they look astonishing. And finally… The mystery of who bought all the candies has been solved.

Not surprising… The devs have hinted at this several times. And that's just like you, Hideyoshi…

I love Nobu very much. He is my second favorite after Mitsuhide (just because no one can compare this perfect man). And it's always a pleasure to read his events. It's cute, and sweet and a lot of fun, and it leaves me with desire for a bit more. I'm so greedy)))

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🔝 Start page 🔝

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[eskawrites]

not to get all up in my feelings about art and creativity but today (at work, not even as a fandom thing lmao) one of my friends went out of her way to tell me how much she liked a piece of my writing. and the thing is, i wasn't even that attached to this piece. it's small and written for a work thing and a lil clunky and a lil too personal and i almost didn't share it, but i decided to anyway because whatever

but after she told me that, the first thing i did was go back and re-read it, because i wanted to see what she saw in it. not in a self-deprecating, 'why do you even like this?' way, but just because it meant enough to her to say something about it, and i wanted to read it again through her eyes and wonder which phrases made her stop and think, or how the themes hit home, or what part made her like it enough to tell me about it

and i do that with my fanfic sometimes, too. when someone points out a certain detail or predicts what will happen next or even just says they read this at 2:30 in the morning with their cat on their lap. i read those comments, and i go back and look at this story i made, and i remember that i'm real and they're real and the things i create have changed the world in some tiny, ultimately insignificant way--but it was enough to affect what someone was doing or thinking in that moment

and something i've thought a lot about since covid happened and the vast majority of my social interactions started taking place online (it's a problem, i'm working on it, but it's true nonetheless) is that art really, truly is a love language. and not just when you gift it to people, or when you use it to show appreciation, or however else it can coincide with the traditional love languages. but because it's a way to share a little piece of yourself. and it might be silly and it might be sad and it might be fun and it might be meaningful but no matter what, it comes from you. a lot of the time, it comes from a part of us that we can't really effectively express otherwise. i mean, i can say 'i love x ship' in a thousand different ways but that's never going to compare to pouring my heart into stories or arts or edits exploring all my favorite things about those characters and their dynamic. that's why 'bad' art from writers or artists who don't really know what they're doing is still good--because if it comes from you, if it has meaning to you, it's special

but the thing about love languages is that there has to be a recipient. sometimes my writing is an act of love for myself, and that's good and lovely. but other times, when i share writing with friends or fandom or just strangers on the internet who have a thing or two in common with me, when you become the recipient, it really does transform the work. all these things that are so meaningful to me that i turned them into art are suddenly meaningful to you, too. it's like confessing a secret and having someone say yeah, me too. it's vulnerability and acceptance and kinship and community. it makes me see the things i create in a whole new light. it makes me see myself in a whole new light.

[bethanydelleman]

Northanger Abbey Readthrough Ch 12

Mrs. Allen, true to her character, says two lines in this chapter and they are both about gowns.

“Go, by all means, my dear; only put on a white gown; Miss Tilney always wears white.”

“My dear, you tumble my gown,” was Mrs. Allen’s reply.

Such a cute line:

This novel is always making me go AWWWWWWWW

Anyway, we begin with Catherine running over to the Tilney's residence to apologize and explain herself. Now during a morning visit, a person can "not be home" even if they are if they don't want to see someone, so when Catherine sees Miss Tilney shortly after she calls, she assumes this is a snub (we later learn it's actually because the General doesn't like being kept waiting).

Catherine knows this is an insult, but she isn't exactly sure what to make of it:

Catherine, in deep mortification, proceeded on her way. She could almost be angry herself at such angry incivility; but she checked the resentful sensation; she remembered her own ignorance. She knew not how such an offence as hers might be classed by the laws of worldly politeness, to what a degree of unforgivingness it might with propriety lead, nor to what rigours of rudeness in return it might justly make her amenable.

Again, we see that unlike Marianne Dashwood, Catherine has a really hard time dwelling in her disappointment, "She was not deceived in her own expectation of pleasure; the comedy so well suspended her care that no one, observing her during the first four acts, would have supposed she had any wretchedness about her."

Now when she sees Henry Tilney and he gives her such a short bow, she thinks he's very angry with her. However, we do know from later in the book that Henry turns into a different person around his father, so that may be some of the explanation for his sour expression. He does, however, come to see Catherine at her box and she immediately explains herself, borrowing an expression from Miss Thorpe, "I had ten thousand times rather have been with you"

We find out that Eleanor Tilney has been in just as much anxiety to explain herself as Catherine has been! Eleanor is clearly shipping Henry and Catherine already (AS SHE SHOULD!).

Then we get into this little bit about Henry Tilney having no right to be angry. I think the point here is that she hasn't made any promises to him really, so he can't be jealous of her time. This is very non-presumptuous, unlike Mr. Elton in Emma, who at the Weston's party tries to assert control over Emma's movements (telling her not to visit Harriet). My point is...

The way Austen has with words is amazing, "He remained with them some time, and was only too agreeable for Catherine to be contented when he went away." So understated but also so cute! This novel is just SO CUTE!

It'd be cuter if stupid John Thorpe wasn't back. Now we know from later that this is a critical moment, John tells the General that Catherine is the wealthy heiress of the Allen's fortune. On this information, General Tilney will instruct his son to "seduce" Miss Morland (to marriage). This also explains the invitation to Northanger.

Now, we know that Henry and Eleanor are confused by their father's interest in Catherine, but I don't think they know exactly how wealthy she is either. Henry does clarify that Catherine has never been abroad when she mentions the countryside of France during their country walk. We can assume that Catherine has been very honest about her family situation. I think John Mullen talks about how Catherine doesn't even seem to really know how wealthy she is. When it comes to reality, a dowry of £3000 isn't the best, it's not bad. (cough cough, did you see how a clergyman with ten children managed to save for dowries MR. BENNET?! cough)

John Thorpe tells an entirely ridiculous story about beating the General at pool (I doubt this happened) and then says again, that General Tilney's "as rich as a Jew", which is apparently his favourite phrase to use with rich people. Then John attempts to flirt with Catherine but she is having none of it, she's only happy that General Tilney likes her.

[charliespringverse]

iwbft — thursday: a brief summary of my annotations

all highlighted quotes: 135

· ouch/ow/owie: 7

· real/felt/relatable/so true: 0

· aroace: 0

· ☹/☹☹/☹☹☹: 3

I like knowing that I've been there since the beginning. — lol hipster... me w BiT tho

I can't stop myself laughing, trapped under the cape, and I catch a glimpse of Lister grinning at me, a soft smile, one that reminds me of years ago, back when this was all new and exciting and fun, back when we really were children. — god i love this bit . it is so gentle and tender

People are coming up with some hilarious explanations for the Jowan photo and the Rowan/Bliss reveal, such as it's a ploy by their management, out to stir up some extra publicity to keep attention on The Ark [...] — devastating phrasing for rpf shippers everywhere

it didn't destroy me in the way I thought it would when the news eventually came that Jowan, love itself, wasn't real.. Maybe I sort of knew it was a lie all along. — 10 points for recognising that rpf ships aren't real, -2 for the nihilistic depressive worldview . get therapy x

Unpleasant phone call? Yesterday morning? I heard nothing about that. — well u definitely heard Hints but i'll let u off due to the autism x

Playing our songs when the entire audience is empty is always a laugh, because we're just playing for ourselves, and we can deliberately get stuff wrong and play games like Lister trying to get us out of time and Rowan adding in harmonies where there aren't normally and me changing the lyrics of our most famous songs. — i'd die for them fr LET THESE BOYS HAVE FUN MORE OFTEN

every time the laughing stops his expression drops and he looks like he's about to cry. — me when i leave my friend's house & the mental illness comes back

He just leans in and kisses me. My stomach lurches. Not because I'm excited, but because I'm shocked and I'm getting flashbacks of the last time I did this. Never my idea, is it? I want to, I want to kiss a boy in some dramatic way but I don't too, not when it doesn't feel right. — ☹ bad parallel

You think you've got it all sorted but you don't! You're just the same as me. You're both just as bad as I am. — ,,,,, he's not far wrong tbf

'You don't have to... like me back,' he says, and his voice breaks but I can't tell whether he's laughing or trying not to cry. 'But please don't hate me.' — AGONY (note: this is written in huge letters)

I thought the three of us would be friends forever. I can't deal with these unsaid feelings. I don't want to know about them. I don't want to think about them. — kick me in the cooch it'd hurt less

'Everything's bad.' 'Nothing bad is going to happen to you.' But it feels like it is. 'I am not afraid,' says Rowan softly. 'Remember?' — KILL ME OFF (note: this is written in huge letters)

I'm gone, I'm already gone, I'm up above the three of us and gazing down at the three bodies and wondering who on Earth decided that these three pathetically flawed human beings deserved so much worship. — i wanna write an essay on depersonalisation in jimmy's narration

Jimmy's smile is so wide - a youthful, dreamlike grin - as he gazes over the crowd — to the tune of the maybelline jingle: maybe it's a youthful dreamlike grin, maybe it's dissociation

There is something inexplicable tying them together. — it's trauma

Most fans would defend them until their last breath, form an army to keep them from harm or discomfort. — can't speak to how deliberate this was but . army in the bts sense is a fun connection

I didn't get to meet The Ark. I didn't get to tell them anything. — give it a day luv x

I am dragged into the flood. — BORN TO SURVIVE THE STORM BORN TO SURVIVE THE FLOOD

He doesn't look like himself without the airy smile that I always see in the photos and videos. — false! he looks more like himself then you've ever seen!

Of course he looks impossibly beautiful too. I desperately want to hold him. — NOT THE TIME

He's afraid of me. Me. Me. The human embodiment of a caterpillar. — something something self perception vs other ppl's perception, parallels the fandom vs celebrity experience something something

His eyes are wide and fearful. The beauty that I'd admired there has gone. — he's becoming real...

It just makes me feel like I'm really here. Holding this piece of me in my hand. — depersonalisation & grounding .......

God, I want to hug him. I want to hold him and let him cry gently into my shoulder. — not the time for a wattpad self-insert y/n imagine queen

I just stop registering what's happening around me. It's not really happening to me. It's all just happening to this body that people call Jimmy Kaga-Ricci. — depersonalisation!!!!!

It's funny because it's true. — TORI?

'I'm not in here any more,' I say, pointing at my chest. 'This is all happening to someone else.' 'Are you... okay?' I laugh at him again. — depersonalisation (note: this is in big letters and double underlined)

I'm sure that when The Ark arrive, I'll feel happy. I know that when The Ark arrive, I will feel happy. — ow . it's almost like relying on external factors to fix ur mental health is like a plaster on a bullet hole

I'm sure that when we start playing, I'll feel happy. — they're so nsync

Why do I feel like he's died when he's right there in front of me? — because you loved a fantasy and now reality has kicked in amen

I just turn back and stare up at them, waiting, praying for something good to happen, something good to make me feel okay again, just as it always has until today. But I don't feel anything. — yeah yeah the emotional void we all know it

— future college/uni essay idea: religion vs fandom with a specific focus on the osemanverse/hstv fandom w iwbft & rs as backup

[leohttbriar]

1, 8, 10, if you want to!! :)<3

<333 yeah i've been called "opinionated" too many times in my life to not want to lol

all of these got soooo long, but i answered them on my lunch break and didn't have the energy for any proper editing so like. just remember you asked. this is on YOU. and i can only hope for a similar level of expostulation in your answers!

the character everyone gets wrong

so i don't think everyone gets her wrong but a lot of people do.

eowyn is in fact precisely concerned about the role of women. she says so. i've seen this popular reading that eowyn is not feminist-girl badass--she's really there to learn a wwi-eque moral lesson about how reknown is not going to cure your depression and so on. and i think that's fairly reductive.

eowyn is aware of her vulnerability. she is losing her protectors one by one. and "reknown" is not, like, the narcissism the other reading is implying. it's an achievement allowed only for those within the male-sphere. it's an implication of power and a sense of responsibility, to answer the vulnerability. like tolkien isn't going to write a character who wants to be sung about and disparage either being sung about the desire to be sung about. the rohan characters he wrote are very inspired by anglo-saxon culture and poetry and eowyn being like "i'm going to hang up my shield now" can mean A LOT of things, including Tolkien just being sexist. what i don't think it means is a condemnation of eowyn's previous desires to begin with. she wants to hang up her shield only after she's secured her place in history. like, as someone who wants to be a keeper of a hall and protect her people, that's an ideal heroic ending for her. idk, that last bit is probably super generous to tolkien but i still think that eowyn is absolutely a character meant to express feminist values.

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

okay i think it's a relatively common opinion that the reason f/f ships and even just female or female-coded characters are less popular than m/m ships and male or male-coded characters is due to big Misogyny. digressed.

but i also think that fandom is bad at understanding male characters, mostly because they are very busy applying an overly-good faith to all of them to the point of fantasy. my unpopular opinion is that this attitude is like when moms love their son or sons the best. my unpopular opinion is that the word "babygirl" applied to any male character is not in fact the transgressive epithet that everyone thinks it is. i opine that actually terms like "babygirl" and "malewife" are ways to emasculate male characters in a specific way that separates us from the very real realness of the kind of masculinity that suffocates shes and theys outside of fandom; while still celebrating how very Male they are. calling a man "babygirl" is not real condescension. it's pure affection. which isn't necessarily wrong. only that affection for men frequently joins hands with empathy, understanding, and impassioned defense. i just can't really get behind the sweetening of male characters--whether that's making them perfect angels in fics and stuff or calling them "my poor little meow meow" as if the media in which they're being portrayed isn't trying it's hardest to get you to feel like that to begin with.

i probably wouldn't care about these definitely funny turns of phrases for dudes of fandom, but there isn't an equivalent term for female characters. and that really annoys me :/

there are also like a few people who use the term "babygirl" in a genuinely transgressive way: like in media where gay-coded villains do something evil and we're not supposed to root for them in any way, for example. i've just seen too many gifs with the words "babygirl" or "malewife" edited over male characters faces who do not deserve that fondness, imo.

10. worst part of fanon

other than the blatant misogyny expressed throughout all fanons in just a variety of ways that only an academic could enumerate...

generally speaking, hate when fanon makes characters like books/music or political opinions that are obviously just an effort to project likeability. like when i said johnny lawrence in cobra kai probably voted republican at least once in his fictional life and quite a few someones were like "that man has never voted." like i get what you're trying to do there. but it's also very very boring to only read about characters who have the exact right opinion about culture and politics.

i think it comes down to the fact that fandom is very fun place to hang out but it also be very absorbing and so people sort of forget about distance. and the distance between "queer-reading" and simply saying this-is-obviously-gay is probably the distance that gets trampled over most. like, it turns into people using things like "toxic masculinity" to prove how interesting their babygirl character is, bc look how repressed, look how sad, look how he needs queer liberation. the power of a queer-reading is its interpretive possibilities, not its potential canonization. along those lines, i think people should call "toxic masculinity" just plan old misogyny. if your masculinity is toxic, ya probably hate womenfolk.

likeability is like the core value of all fanon i have seen and it is boring

[vanyalanthirielofmana]

20 questions for fic writers!

Thank you @firebatvillain for the tag! Sorry for getting back to it only now 😬

Won't be tagging, but if anyone wants to answer feel free!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

43!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

61,038. It's not much, but I have a novel-sized fic in the works so I expect it to balloon in size, hopefully soon haha

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Trials of Mana/Seiken Densetsu 3, mainly Hawkeye x Riesz

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Final Vows - A short retelling of the final battle of the game where Hawkeye and Riesz confess to each other in the midst of battle. I decided to raise the stakes and make the scene more dramatic, because it's something I felt was lacking in the original game.

Matched - A jealous Hawkeye watching Duran and Riesz spar. Jealous Hawkeye good! Jealous Hawkeye delicious! Also with some angst, hurt, comfort and fluff at the end. I personally had a hard time with this, particularly the fighting scene but it seems like people enjoyed it so it's all good!

Magic Kiss - One of my personal favorites. It's about how Hawkeye talks about his first kiss with Riesz. It's not a very fluffy first kiss, but a very dramatic and romantic one, nonetheless. I'm very proud of this one!

Scars - A rather short, somewhat steamy fic about Hawkeye and Riesz showing their scars to each other. It's short but sweet, also one of the first ecchi leaning fic I've written.

My Teacher, Our Secret - This is my most popular work, it seems. It's a High school AU Hawkeye x Riesz where Riesz is his homeroom teacher and Hawkeye is her student. It's PWP. It's Teacher x Student. Also has an 'almost caught' moment. What else is there to say? Haha

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Almost always! If I haven't then... Maybe I was busy and missed the notification. But I make sure to always respond when I do see it! The fandom's very small, so I'd like to be able to interact with everyone as much as I can!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Torn between Next Spring, which is a moody fic abour Hawkeye not being able to express his love for the now Queen of Laurent Riesz, and heartbeat, which is about a soon to marry Hawkeye and Riesz, but Hawkeye having terminal illness. The latter feels more like an angsty premise rather than ending, which is why I'm considering the two at all haha

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Magic Kiss! Please read it! Happiest, heartwarming ending ☺️ Promise! (Hawkeye x Riesz, of course)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope, fandom too small for that shit.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes. Yes.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

No, I don't, but since Echoes of Mana is a thing, why not? But no I still have not haha

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope, my fandom too small for that shit 😂

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No as well, but I am sure my Japanese readers are hitting the translate button on the browser when they read hahaha

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I would love to! (I can also do Duran x Angela, Kevin x Charlotte... Or general ToM or EoM...)

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Hawkeye x Riesz!!!!!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

None because I WILL finish all the WIPs!!!! WAHAHAHHAHA!!! MANIFESTING!!!!

16. What are your writing strengths?

The two comments I get often is that I'm good with mood and plot. So I guess those two.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Repetitive phrasing. Bad rhythm. Small vocabulary. No time for editing. Misspelling. I have a small list of gripes with myself so the list could go on haha

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Not ideal, but why not?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Trials of Mana, Hawkeye x Riesz!

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

I like Magic Kiss a lot, but I feel like it's tied with Falling for You! The latter is about a regretful Hawkeye who wasn't able to tell his feelings to Riesz after the party disbands, but perhaps fate has something in store for him. Please read it! I am quite proud of those two.

Thank you so much again for reading thus far and thank you again for the tag!

[blocksruinedme]

Team Rancher (Solidaritek) for the ship ask meme, please?

Do I ship it? WHAT A COMPLICATED QUESTION.

I did, with all my heart and north of 50k words. In an ideal world, in my ideal world, I would still be shipping it. I can't explain how much I want to be okay with Ranchers. I feel like I got dumped by someone I was good friends with before we dated, who really wants to be friends again, but it hurts too much to think about them. (Has that happened recently in my life, yes, lol.) I hope someday we can be friends again, but I'm not good at getting over things.

I've been sitting on a "what's your brutally honest opinion of [ship]" ask since... the doc was last modified march 17. okay. It's a simple chronology

I watched Double Life, was not obsessed with mcyt, checked to see if people were writing it and was pleased. I wasn't even regularly watching their POVS.

I watched 3L and got sucked in hard by Flower Husbands. I started writing a bit multiverse series, and I needed Scott and Jimmy to talk about Jimmy/Tango having happened (they don't remember their pasts while in the life games), so I needed to play that out, and oops I was obsessed. (then smalletho happened in the same way with those people)

The crossover started, tango put those fucking hearts over the reunion scene (no one made him do that), I was possessed by tango/jimmy/fwhip and wrote and published my absolute most popular fic, it was real work to get through "oh i'll never get that many kudos again". (chart below to show you how damn popular it is compared to fic where i'm not actively sad about them). then i started publishing the sequel, and quickly went from "i'll never do a wip" to 'well just this once"

Jimmy built Tango the ranch and i got possessed again and wrote a long fic about it

i said "if that's all ever get, that's fine, this gave me so much to work with". and that would have been fine for a month long crossover, but i think it was 50 more days, every day wishing and hoping that today there would be something, that tango's ep would include the ranch, shit like that

And my heart turned bitter, guys.

This is my first unscripted/whatever fandom. The phrase "content creator" was not part of my life before. Maybe an actor sucked, but they didn't write the words they spoke, they were selling me a character completely distinct from them, it wasn't just that actor doing it all. Maybe a showrunner sucked, but so many people put their hearts and souls into their series.

But this? I don't know how to deal with this, I don't know how to separate annoyance with a creator from a character, not when they say all the same things and make the same weird noises and are, y'know, pretty much the same cause it's not like Tango's out there doing heavy roleplay. I just have no experience, and I can not express strongly enough how frustrated I am with myself that I'm so worked up over it. I was briefly annoyed with Scott about something around the same time (it's stupid, i'm not going to talk about it) and I worked SO HARD to not let it be a thing, i made myself watch scott content i knew made me happy, i was not going to let myself have an issue with scott, as we all know he's everywhere - and flower husbands will always be my first ship.

If I didn't have a god damned wip in tango pov I might be over this now. I would have been able to try and not think about it - I have ranchers pretty well filtered, but did you know filters don't catch text in an ask? They don't! But I thought about the wip every day, as it seemed harder and harder to imagine every writing tango pov, and it spiraled. It was very bad! I know I am allowed to drop a wip, but it doesn't line up with how I want to be conducting my affairs.

But then @that-tall-queer-bassist interrupted one of my wailing session to say they'd finish it. I have it all outlined, I had I think the first page written, and crucially i wrote the final conversation, the end of this damn series.

So now Limited Life is over, I don't watch much HC and it's sounds like Tango's just working on decked out all the time, so I can maybe get some space. I watched some 3rd Life last night and was doing find with Tango being around. Maybe I can CHILL OUT and someday I can go back to my Double Life wips, I know exactly what that Tango did and nothing can surprise me.

I would like to be chill again. I would like it so bad. I would like to un filter content on tumblr, and finish "Swinging Soulmates" which i think is actually fantastic, and put my ranchers fanart back in the frame. I'd like to do the main part of the larpers au and not just the side fics. (Though i wrote tango being around and being jimmy's bf in the smalletho morning after larper fic, i was very proud of myself.) Maybe after the wip is done, and I can exist neutrally. I don't know why the series is so popular, fwhip/tango had one more interaction ever (and fwhip wanting to trap him in a hole forever....) I guess it's fix it? I wish it felt like fix it for meeeeee

Ship It

What made you ship it? They were so dumb and sweet and they vibed together so well. So much chaos going on, but hey were 200% loyal and ready to do whatever the hell the other one wanted. I love that. Also, uh, Jimmy.

What are your favorite things about the ship? I want to explore most dynamics with Jimmy, right, I keep writing brand new ships and stuff? And Tango gave me opportunities other people don't, because, for better or worse, there's no one else like tango.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? idk i'm a mess

Don’t Ship It

Why don’t you ship it? Because it hurts my heart

What would have made you like it? No crossover, or different crossover, or... just different stuff on the cc level

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it? Yeah man it's a beautiful ship. It's so fun, they're so fun, I was really pleased with what I could easily do with the sexual dynamics, i loved them so much

My kudos over time. (if anyone wants to make their own i can make a spreadsheet template and share my tricks and tips

Below the cut is what i had sitting in my drafts in march for brutally honest opinion.

My brutally honest opinion of Ranchers?

Double Life was great. I somehow didn’t get into them until I was writing a multiverse-whatever flower husbands fic and needed to fill in the blanks of “scott and jimmy are talking about DL and obviously they fucked” and i incepted myself into it. I loved it, I wrote a lot, loved art, commissioned art, etc.

Right now we’re on a little bit of a break. This ship, and specifically the crossover, is what got me publishing, not just writing, when I was possessed day one. “MY EX STOLE MY SOULMATE” is still my most popular fic by far, and the unfinished sequel is in second place. After jimmy’s second crossover ep, i got into a fic i loved very much, “love respect joy and ranchin’”. i put so much work and  love into it, i got a fwhimmy consult and a grian consult. I said after that ep that if that was all we got, i’d be okay, cause i’d gotten so much out of it via fic. But then the length of time of “not getting any more” was too long, I spent too long wishing and hoping, and my feelings went sour

[femmesandhoney]

I have questions. wasn’t the virgin joke from a fanfic? why is it bad for someone to call her a virgin but yet you do not seem to think down about the ones who imply kronkk and radicallyaligned have sex, or ship you with others, or make tinkaterf give birth to you? If I remember correctly sapphicgem expressed discomfort with the implication she wasn’t having sex despite her posts about being single, and then the jokes stopped. It sounded like her boundary was respected once they realized she was seriously upset and not jokingly upset, like when kronkk jokes she is annoyed someone calls her ankles weird but she isn’t actually upset. tone can be hard to interpret over text. I get the mistake they made, because sapphicgem loved when it was implied she was having a romance with you in fics. everyone who participates and reblogs fanfics and jokes seemed to be chill with silly sexual headcanons about them. In my mind virgin joke is at the same level as romance and sex with mutual joke? the virgin jokes seemed to stop when she said to stop and it was clear she was being serious and not joking upset. but it just seems like a double standard on your end to phrase it like it was the worst offense committed on radblr

it was not from a fanfic. and anon have you considered amber doesn't care about implications with me in silly fanfics because me and her are legitimate friends outside of radblr and long before we were on radblr? but no, it's definitely not a double standard to think the phrasing of saying she was being essentially "too sensitive" about intrusive anons about her sex life, which from what i can tell from your anon you don't seem to know the anons i'm thinking of since this wasn't about fanfic, are just weird.

not sure where you got that i thought it was the worst offense in the world, i just didn't agree at all with that phrasing. random shipping fanfics is definitely different than people openly asking you a bunch of shit about your sex life in your ask box. yes people stopped when she asked, which is great, but again calling her sensitive for it is just shitty phrasing. sorry for wanting to defend my friend.

[walkingstackofbooks]

DS9 2x21 The Maquis Part 2 thoughts (I'm re-watching, so there may be future spoilers)

"You don't want peace, Cal. You want revenge." Yeah, that seems true enough.

It's interesting to see the Federation hatred of Cardassians so closely; we've seen a lot of Bajorans hating Cardassians, and occasionally Miles too, but while the Stafleet officers on DS9 sure don't trust Cardassians, it's easy to forget they were at war not so long ago too.

"What about Commander Hudson?" "... I'll have to talk to him." Sisko is the most loyal friend.

"Establish a dialogue with the Maquis. They're still Federation citizens. I'm sure they'll listen to reason." Oh you're sure, are you?

The It's easy to be a saint in paradise is SO good, I see it a lot on Tumblr, but it's so much better in context

Kira's stunned expression during Sisko's speech is wonderful :3

Hehe, I'd forgot they'd be interrogating Quark about Sakonna, excellent.

"Do you expect us to believe that a Vulcan would be interested in you for your lobes?" "Vulcans are a species that appreciate good ears." HAH. Also, are you jealous, Odo? :P

"How long do I keep him in here?" "Forever." Gotta love Sisko's deadpan XD 

"I don't see what difference it makes whether we do it [execute Dukat] or they do it." I don't care either, but will someone do it, please? As a favour to me?

"The Central Command wants him dead. That's reason enough for us to want him alive."

Evil mind meld!

Dukat is insufferable, but I do enjoy watching him be a villain

A wild Sisko appears!

Dukat is so completely puzzled by the attempt at dialogue and reconciliation XD

"Tell him I still have his uniform." I love this recurring motif in this episode.

Ugh, I don't like Dukat looking comfortable.

Huh, information setting up for Cardassian trials later on the show

"Cardassians don't make mistakes." "I'll have to remember that"

I am SO looking forward to Dukat being crushed by the news that no, Central Command were not trying to rescue you, they just blamed the whole thing on you and left you for dead.

HAHA YES, that took the wind out of your sails DIDN'T IT.

"I'm sure you would have done the same for me." Love how that has left Dukat speechles.

"Ah, but the Xepolites have never been caught."

"I'm not just any Cardassian." Again, I really love seeing Dukat in action, he's so skin-crawlingly good at what he does, even if it's awful. You can see Kira having bad memories of threatening Cardassians in the background.

Yiss Sakonna and Quark again

"My emotional state is irrlevant." "Well, my emotional state is very relevant."

"Do you propose to lecture me on logic?" "I don't want to, but you leave me no choice." XD

"Then I'll make it so simple that even a Vulcan can understand." HAH. I do love Quark's turns of phrases

"They have weapons. You have weapons. Everyone has weapons!"

I hate that Quark is so good at this, but he sure did just go and outlogic a Vulcan.

"So we'll have three ships and they'll have two. The odds are in our favour, anyway." This made me chuckle a bit just because it's the simplest maths and post-GE-reveal he'll be calculating absolutely ridiculous odds, not just 3 v 2 XD

"That's not going to give us much of an advantage, Julian" And added to that, he was wrong! 😅

Dukat's approving look at Sisko...

Oh no, Dukat is gonna fire isn't he.... Aghhhh don't do this to Ben!

Oh phew, he didn't. Glad I was wrong

I love how Sisko and Dukat play off each other. "I will not kill a good man for trying to defend his home." "You disappoint me." "Don't expect me to lose any sleep over it."

Hmmm, it's interesting to wonder if they hadn't succeeded and a war had begun at this point in time, would the Dominion have ever got involved?