#it's totally possible he was a completely innocent dude who just makes very poor choices on approach?

[cesium-sheep]

bleh, I was walking home from fred meyer (got a puzzle magazine and some rice cakes), and at first I thought the silver infiniti (4 door luxury style car) was slowing down and rolling down their windows to be annoyed with me for walking down a not very pedestrian friendly stretch of road.

when I reached the next corner, he came around again, this time along crossways instead of along the road I was walking on. he rolled down his window and waved at me. I took out my headphones and asked what’s up from the passenger side of the car. he asked where I was headed and if I wanted a ride, and when I flatly said “no thank you” he laughed and said “so angry!”

the interior of his car was dark and I didn’t look for long, but he seemed to be a dark skinned man with long hair.

if anyone else lives in the lake city area, please be aware of a silver infiniti (4 door luxury style car) that may be offering rides to unaccompanied female-presenting people.

if you’re going to interact with a car stranger I suggest only talking from the passenger side window and cross behind the car if you’re leaving abruptly. although you should probably be smarter than me and not interact in the first place.

[bigskydreaming]

What do you think about cereal obsessed dick? Is it real? Or... Do you have a headcannon about it too?

I mean, its not not real, its just been exaggerated to hell and back much like Tim’s coffee addiction. Y’know like, readers see a character do something at least five times over a span of several decades worth of comics and are like: This is a character trait!

Even if that thing is like….something as basic as eating cereal, which is a rather unremarkable thing many people do at many points in a year without it indicating an obsession with it or an inability to eat anything else ever. LOL.

So I mean, I’m not really partial to it myself….like, I think Dick eats cereal sometimes, I think he eats other things sometimes, I don’t think it really is a big deal one way or the other….BUT I tend to be annoyed by the overemphasis on it when paired specifically with the “Dick is incompetent in the kitchen and can’t cook and that’s WHY he ONLY eats cereal and takeout, pretty much” because….no.

Dick is very clearly established for a very LONG time as being perfectly capable of cooking, and even good at it. And there are maybe stories out there that claim he can’t cook, but they’re no more or less valid than the plentiful stories that claim he CAN cook, and more importantly IMO….there’s nothing remotely plausible about the idea that Dick can’t cook at least basics, enough to feed himself. Like, I’m not the most competent adult to ever adult, but I can authoritatively say you don’t need to be a graduate of chef school to make basic meals in the kitchen. You’re never going to convince me that a guy who is OBSESSED with self-reliance and independence and proving it at every turn possible….has never acquired a basic ability to feed himself, without relying on the family butler to cook his meals or else he’s helpless and has to resort to pizza and cereal. 

Especially when that guy is a world class athlete who has held that title since BEFORE he ever lived in a fancy manor, and child athlete prodigies kinda tend to grow up from day one with exceptional nutritional habits, you know? Dick knows how to feed himself, and he knows how to eat healthily to maintain his body at its peak at all times….since his body is his ultimate weapon and the thing he most relies on to do every thing that matters to him.

Like sure, I believe Dick has cheat days like anyone, and I can readily accept that he has a particular fondness for certain snack cereals and he likes to indulge himself every once in awhile. But that’s all. Anything more than that, I start to get wary because there’s this thing that a LOT of the fanon mannerisms or characteristics people give to Dick play into….and that’s his infantilization. The frequent take that this grown, hypercompetent man is actually a manchild who is helpless at taking care of himself without help…..unlike the rest of his siblings.

Please note, I mentioned Tim’s coffee addiction in fanon and that goes hand in hand with the idea that he hardly ever sleeps and needs people to MAKE him sleep or he neglects his self care….but this is a totally different thing because of the difference in how these takes are executed. With Tim, the tendency is to always directly correlate his poor sleep habits with his overworking….its a “positive trait” taken to unhealthy extremes….but the end takeaway is Tim is SO devoted to his work and his vigilantism that he constantly neglects himself in the process. This trope with Tim isn’t about Tim not being ABLE to take care of himself….its about Tim NOT CARING about taking care of himself….and his friends and family having to step in to make sure he does so. And to be fair, this execution of this particular trope has been done with Dick himself at times too.

But the thing I’m talking about that I take issue with is how many of the fanon characteristics applied to Dick all play into the same infantilizing idea he CAN’T take care of himself and is a disaster who his friends and family regularly roll their eyes at because they just don’t even understand how he made it to adulthood with as little life skills as he seems to have.

He can’t cook and eats unhealthy sugary cereals and takeouts, unless Alfred or someone else cooks for him or makes him eat properly……in other words….he can’t feed himself without help. Not at all in character for a self-reliant, independent individual who has been maintaining his physique at professional athletic levels since early childhood.

He has no fashion sense whatsoever and frequently walks around in public in garish, eye-gouging ensembles that constantly make him the laughingstock of his friends and family….in other words…he can’t dress himself without help. Not at all in character for a self-reliant, independent individual who has lived in the spotlight since early childhood, has been intimately acquainted with the classist and condescending reactions to his circus ensembles since an early age, and yet somehow also manages to at times come across as a charming, much-lusted after socialite frequently in the gossip pages (with zero commentary on having a reputation of being a fashion disaster) and at other times fly completely under the radar and go unnoticed because of how much he doesn’t want to be just known as Bruce Wayne’s heir (again, something that’s incompatible with the idea that he constantly stands out and draws attention due to a horrible fashion sense).

He lives in a pig sty and his place is constantly a mess with this being remarked upon and disgusting his friends and family every time they come over and ask how does anyone live like this…in other words….he can’t clean up after himself without help. Not at all in character for a self-reliant, independent individual who spent his early years living in a trailer in a circus without a butler, and who has frequently talked HAPPILY about pitching in with chores around the circus, something that seems to have been both expected and something he enjoyed doing, as befits a character who likes being productive and helpful and doesn’t have a lazy bone in his body….thus making me wonder where in the hell the impulse for him not to pick up after himself would even come from? Sure, his place has been drawn messy at times in the comics….so has the place of literally every other character who doesn’t actively live with a butler. The dude has been around eighty years. Of course he’s been drawn in a messy apartment over the course of that time. Sure, it makes sense there are times he’s untidy or lets things get out of hand, especially if he’s in say, a depressive spiral. That makes sense. The nonchalant depiction of someone who is just lazy or incapable of cleanliness though? Not so much.

But you see what I mean? Its suspect to me that so many of Dick’s fanon characteristics ALL individually and in cooperation work to depict him as someone who’s just hopeless at normal life skills without outside intervention. That’s classic infantilization, and its completely at odds with how much Dick prides himself on being able to stand on his own two feet, to not NEED anyone. 

Additionally, it all plays into the insistence on viewing him as spoiled or lazy or incompetent due to having grown up in a billionaire’s household….even though nobody puts the same degree of emphasis on that very billionaire being equally spoiled or lazy or incompetent….and again, it doesn’t at all fit ANY of Dick’s other characteristics or canon history as someone who didn’t spend his early years in the lap of luxury, has pointedly not spent any time SINCE his childhood living in the lap of luxury, and is the only Batkid to consistently insist on holding down a nine to five job not even because he NEEDS the money, but because he LIKES working, LIKES paying his own way.

Not to mention, this guy is widely regarded in universe as being one of the most capable strategists and team leaders in the world, has been a spy and numerous other things that require an EXTREME degree of self-reliance and necessitates him having a much wider spectrum of life skills than any regular individual has on average.

LOL. Anyway, sorry to go off about an innocent little cereal headcanon ask, but like….it all comes from the same place, I feel, and it all plays into the same results, and THOSE I have issues with, even though a fondness for cereal in and of itself is not really the issue. If that was all it ever was, I’d probably headcanon away about what specific sugary snacks he likes on his cheat days and why, where those particular choices stem from….but given that its hardly ever brought up in isolation, and that the fics that most emphasize his only eating cereal also tend to be the ones who insist he’s not allowed in the kitchen, can’t coordinate his outfits to save his life and his living room is a biohazard…..here is me going mmmmhmmm. Okay then.

[svtellify]

KOTLC: Flashback Review [WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD]

Keeper of the Lost Cities: Flashback by Shannon Messenger ★★☆☆☆

That little blurb/intro in the beginning? Hmmm, intense. Like, way more directly and upfront intense than the rest of the series has been, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a bad thing.

Alvar’s sentencing was a really interesting choice, but I feel like bringing in all the Vackers was a little unnecessary. There were just too many opinions to follow, and it did make Fallon Vacker a little less of the interesting enigma that he previously was.

Fitz’s outburst wasn’t totally uncalled for, but he could have definitely dialed it back. I mean, he wasn’t as close to Alvar as Biana was, and his younger sister wasn’t reacting as explosively. This does show that Fitz is consistent (his outburst in Exile), but it did feel a little repetitive when he kept yelling out about how much he hated Alvar. We get it dude, Alvar sucks. But so do Lady Gisela, Quan Song, and Mai Song. And let’s not forget that Wylie’s just scarred, after what happened to Prentice and his mom.

Whom the heck is Luzia Vacker? Why bring in another Vacker only to make them relevant for a little bit and then take them out again? We, as a fandom, already went through that with Kenric, and trust be we’re all still sobbing about that. Not to forget Marella, who is suddenly relevant again?

Dex’s technopathic skills. Goodbye everyone else’s abilities, Dex is a genius who is finally, getting some sort of credit, even if it’s from the council, and not his friends, I am desperate and will take it, at this point.

Speaking of Dex, it was nice to see him standing up for himself against Alvar.

And Fitz is mad again, and yelling at Dex and then Keefe, and then Sophie, quiznak, dude, anger management and a therapist will do you wonders.

Also, why didn’t Sophie stand up for Dex? She did *technically* side with Alvar’s sentencing, she spoke with Keefe and Ro about it. Besides, Dex is her best friend, who was there for her when Fitz and Biana definitely were not. Dex was also her first friend and they’ve been through a lot together.

This would’ve also helped with fixing their relationship a little after the events of Nightfall, and would’ve been a stronger argument for women and men being friends without having to make things romantic. (This can *technically* be said for Fitz or Keefe, but they’ve both been hinted as the possible end games.)

“‘Don’t even get me started on Dex,’ Fitz muttered.

‘I know,’ Biana said quietly. ‘I can’t believe he knew for a week and didn’t tell us.’

Sophie opened her mouth to defend Dex but swallowed back the words. She could tell Fitz and Biana weren’t ready to hear them.

Fitz must’ve noticed, though, because he reeled toward her. ‘Don’t tell me you’re okay with this.’”(Shannon Messenger, Flashback).

This just disappointed me so much, because Biana had finally come so far in getting to know Dex and so had Fitz, but they just couldn’t see any other perspectives.

The little Ro and Keefe bet was super cute. It was nice to see Keefe goofing around again, and Ro’s personality is just so fun.

Alden and Della wanting to get to know their son again? Valid, they are completely valid for that, except for the fact that they seem a little too interested in getting to know Alvar and a little less in oh he was a murdered and he kidnapped my son’s girlfriend and her best friend and tortured them, but he doesn’t even remember now, so that’s okay.

Keefe defending Sophie was cute, as always, but what was that whole thing with “Especially Foster” and the look he and Alden shared? I’m calling shenanigans. Let’s break it down:

Theory: Keefe knows about Fitz’s crush on Sophie and doesn’t want him to hurt her. ( See Exile. )

Easily possible, so easily possible. And this is aside from Keefe just generally defending Sophie regularly.

Theory: Fitz knows about Keefe’s crush on Sophie and he knows that Keefe knows about his crush on Sophie.

Also not that far fetched, they’re best friends and probably talked before Keefe joined the Neverseen.

Theory: Alden asked Keefe to back off.

It would explain the whole look thing but Alden’s never really showed particular interest in that kind of thing. My shipper heart wants to agree with this, but realistically? Probably not true.

Theory: Alden and Keefe are both remembering the events of Exile.

This is probably more likely, considering that Fitz threw a huge tantrum there too and both Alden and Keefe tried to calm him down. This is my best bet about what that whole looking thing was.

Quiznak, who actually believed Alvar when he was whining about being innocent? I have to give it to Fitz, he had a good point about Alvar’s acting being intense. As it turned out, Alvar wasn’t acting, but he did join the Neverseen again. No surprise there.

This was a pretty polarizing event. If you ask me, it didn’t make sense for them to capture Alvar and not gain anything from it or for him to claim innocence for an entire book only to regain his memories and rejoin the villains. The two actions cancelled each other out and left it so that it was as if they’d never captured him in the first place.

Weapons? Uh, quick question, what the heck? Sophie’s spent this entire time ( like six books worth of time ) wanting to be different from the Neverseen, Vespera, and Lady Gisela. She’s even concerned, at one point, that Project Moonlark made her a natural killer, but she just throws all of that out the window and starts up an initiative to fight back?

This seemed really out of character. I don’t know what else to say, especially since elves’ minds can’t handle violence? And Sophie proposed an initiative centered around violence?

What was that entire fight scene? Sophie inflicts, but whoops, there go Fitz, Grizelle and Sandor? Sophie’s outnumbered, so she calls Dex and Wylie? I’m sorry, did we miss something? Wylie wasn’t really a main character prior to Flashback, which is fine, but how is hanging out with Dex all of a sudden?

Side note, Wylie was great, he kicked some Neverseen butt and gave it to them, it was probably one of the better moments in the book.

I feel like we had more of Sophie getting all hot and bothered over Fitz rather than actual plot.

The death of Umber was very anticlimactic, but I have a theory that she’s actually Lady Zillah, Tam’s Shade Mentor. Call it a hunch, Shannon Messenger hasn’t introduced characters to Sophie and/or Mr. Forkle and more of the gang unless they’re important to the plot.

Lady Gisela, Marella, Brant, Magnate Leto, Tiergan, Quentin, Physic/Livy, Amy, Vika, Stina, Luzia, Tarina, Cladfael, Wylie, need I go on?

BUT the majority of the book was just Sophie and Fitz flirting while on bed rest. They spent way too long recovering, and I preferred Nightfall’s way of handling an injury in one half of the love triangle, even if  Keefe’s my favorite character. Nothing happened while they were lying there, which is so unreasonable, because when Keefe was out of the picture, they went to Nightfall, but when Fitz got injured, Sophie insisted on being bedside the entire time?

There was also the matter of Fitz choosing Sophie over his family which, yeah, was kind messed up. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Biana was hurting too. Alden and Della were hurting too. Honestly, Sophie was probably the least affected here, especially considering that she pitied Alvar and believed that he shouldn’t be punished for things he didn’t remember doing.

How was Sophie more injured than Fitz when he needed to be on bed rest and sedated constantly? I know she’s the main character and all, but it’s okay to let the other characters develop too. In that sense, Fitz has had the least development, while Biana was injured and got over it, Keefe lost who he was and is still trying to find himself, Linh got over her fear of her powers, Dex acknowledged his crush on Sophie and got over it, and now Tam is starting to get over his hesitance when it comes to using his powers. Even Stina’s getting over her prejudices, but no such development from Fitz.

He’s still focused on being cognates and solely that, but he has so much more potential! He might not be my favorite character, but I know there’s more to him than “I’m in love with Sophie now,” and “I want to be Cognates” and “I hate Alvar, ra-ra, now I’m mad.”

I was hoping to see more development especially since the book seemed to focus on Fitz so much, but I guess not.

Sophie has a bodyguard from every single intelligent species? There was a tumblr post that seemed to describe this perfectly, about how by the end of the series the entire Keeper crew will have at least 98127354392 bodyguards.

Not going to lie, that’s a bit extreme. Five bodyguards? One from each species?

It’s also definitely not helping the idea that all of the species are equal, it makes the elves seem far more superior, and that’s not in Sophie or the Black Swan’s favor. In my opinion, that was unnecessary. ( Especially Bo, but that’s only because he was a huge jerk. )

Whenever Keefe was there, it seemed like everyone was hating on him or he was moping. There’s more to his character than the screw-up troublemaker, hasn’t he proved himself yet?

The monocle pendant was a mistake, and I’ll say that for the people in the back. He didn’t give it to her so they could track her on purpose. The poor boy’s smitten with her, he would never do that. He just didn’t think it through, and it resulted in this.

“...and then I wasn’t even there to help you fight, because I promised Alden . . .’

‘Promised Alden what?’ Sophie asked, glancing between the two of them.

Keefe shook his head. ‘It doesn’t matter’”(Shannon Messenger, Flashback).

Guys, I have no idea what’s going on here, but I really don’t like it. They shouldn’t be sidelining the one person who worked with the Neverseen.

Shadowflux. The seemingly unnecessary introduction to an already complex plot. Thoughts:

Unnecessary. The plot was already complex enough, and it didn’t even touch on the Lodesar Initiative that two books spent worrying about. Not to mention it didn’t help connect the title to the plot in any way either.

Not to mention the fact it focused on the echoes way more than the rest of the plot, which has been built up for so long now.

There were barely any interactions with the whole gang, or really any other characters other than Fitz. We didn’t even get much time with Edaline and Grady, who bonded with Sophie in Nightfall and every book prior to Flashback.

“‘Cool. Now how about you try that again with the truth?’”(Shannon Messenger, Flashback). This was really cute, and honestly, I was so glad that they brought Keefe back in. He (and Dex) have a really great way of reducing the stress and tension and just grounding these larger than life characters. I would’ve loved more Dex and Keefe time, but I’m not writing the series so…

“‘Did you let Fitz win?’

‘Psh, like I’d ever do that!’

‘I don’t know . . . ,’ Ro told him—and he sent her a death glare.

‘That’s different,’ he insisted.

‘Not really,’ she grumbled. ‘But it’s your call.”(Shannon Messenger, Flashback). What could this possible mean? ( could you hear the sarcasm? ) I really don’t like the idea of Fitz or Keefe just giving up like that, with zero communication. They were supposed to be best friends, but instead, Keefe’s avoiding Fitz and Fitz is blaming Keefe and just being a total jerk about his mom. Get your act together!

I was disappointed that Silveny asked for Fitz before Keefe, considering that she knew about Keefe first.

Theory: Silveny can pick up on Sophie’s feelings, and with Fitzphie canon now, she probably sensed Sophie’s feelings for Ftiz and responded.

“Keefe flashed the smuggest of smiles. ‘It’s because I make everything better.’

‘Like giving Sophie the pendant that helped the Neverseen find her?’ Fitz snapped back”(Shannon Messenger, Flashback). So no best friend bonding then?

Ro standing up for Keefe slayed me. It was so nice to see her taking Sophie’s place as moral support and being there for him whenever Fitzphie go too intense or Lord Pretentious started acting up.

Not to mention Tinker, who was brought up once and then never really mentioned again, with the exception of the null. I hope she’ll be back, otherwise that entire section/chapter would be unnecessary.

Okay, this is the end of part 1! Wow, that’s a lot longer than I’d planned, guess I just had a lot to say. Let me know what y’all think in the comments below! And remember, there is more to come, this is definitely not over. Also, feel free to tag be in any Flashback posts, I’ll definitely check them out!

-K

[choupetit]

GOT Recap:  The Last of the Starks

Airdate:  5/5/19  Season 8, Episode 4

Ack! The remaining episodes of Game of Thrones are dwindling as fast as the number of secondary characters – we’re more than halfway through the season and merely two episodes away from the end of the series.  Waaaah, I just want it to last forever!  This latest episode offered up a buffet of secrets, strategy, and surprises, oh my! There’s a lot to unpack, as the writers rush to neatly tie up storylines and set things up for the next big battle, so get comfy, grab a cup of your favorite Starbucks beverage and let’s hop right into the recap for “The Last of the Starks”:

We start off at Winterfell, with a somber send-off of all the valiant heroes who died in the battle against the Night King and his Army of Dead.  Ser Jorah’s body lays on a funeral pyre and a grief-stricken Daenerys Targaryen bids him farewell and whispers something into his ear.  

Sansa Stark stands by Theon Greyjoy’s pyre, crying.  You can’t help but think of all the horror they both endured together at the hands of Ramsay Bolton – the one person who best understood what Sansa has been through is now gone. She places her Direwolf sigil pin in his vest.  Awww, Theon has officially been redeemed in the eyes of the Starks.

After everybody has had the chance to pay their respects, the camera zooms out and we see the enormity of the casualites – rows and rows of multi-leveled funeral pyres stretch across the battlefield.

Jon Snow gives a heartfelt speech and reminds all the survivors of their honor and duty to keep the legacy alive of the brave men and women who died to ensure the safety of humankind. The pyres are lit, and the gigantic cloud of smoke they emit is immense.

With the mass funeral behind them, it’s time for everybody to celebrate their survival with a grand feast in the Great Hall.  Bran Stark, Sansa, Jon, and Daenerys are all steated at the VIP table for the festivities, though Daenerys won’t even look at Jon.  Arya’s absence is noticed by Gendry, who asks everybody he knows if they’ve seen her.  

As Gendry walks past the VIP table, Queen Dany calls him out.  It’s a tense moment as she asks him “Hey, aren’t you the son of Robert Baratheon? You know, the dude who tried to have me killed?” Gendry cautiously replies, “Um…well, about that, see, I didn’t even know my pops and I only recently even found out he was my dad, so…” and then Dany’s all “Dude, I’m just messing with you.” She makes him Lord of Storm’s End – which is apparently a title that is totally up for grabs, and she also tells him he’s not a bastard anymore. Because. She. Said. So.  She also decrees that it’s time for the realm to have access to hand-crafted coffee drinks from entirely different universes and everybody hails both Queen Dany and Gendry, Lord of Storm’s End.  Tyrion leans over to Dany and praises her on the smart move:  It’s both a fitting reward for a war hero and will ensure Gendry’s line will always be loyal to her.

Across the room, Jaime Lannister convinces Brienne of Tarth to let loose and drink a bit, seeing how they have fought Death and survived.  

Meanwhile Tyrion and Davos share a quick chat about Melisandre and the Lord of Light thing that was, actually, weirdly accurate -  and now  it’s all over without much rhyme or reason.  Thanks for acknowledging my feelings, GOT writers, because, yes, it does seem odd that we would have so much cool prophecy-driven stuff and have it suddenly vanish.  Tyrion cynically states that even though the Dead may be gone, they still have people to contend with – and humans are doing a pretty decent job in destroying themselves without the help of the Night King.

Tyrion makes his way to Bran and I can’t help wondering what conversation these two had the night before the battle.  When he points out that Bran’s abilities as the hard drive for their world’s memories will surely serve him well as the Lord of Winterfell, Bran shrugs it off, saying he’s not a Lord, and honestly doesn’t have need for wants in this world as he pretty much spends most of his time in the past.  Gah, I really want to see more time jumps!!! I’m really hoping that Bran’s nifty warging days continue and that they will have a role to play in the following two episodes.

As the men and women continue to celebrate and drink heavily, Tormund Giantsbane gives a toast to the Dragon Queen, who in turn toasts the absent Arya Stark as the true hero of Winterfell that she is.  Meanwhile, Tyrion joins Jaime, Brienne and Podrick Payne for a rousing drinking game.

The night wears on and Tormund  is sloshed out of his mind.  He boistrously sings Jon’s praises, listing his many daring accomplishments and at one point Tormund even roars “Who flies a dragon?  A madman!  Or a king!!” and the room breaks out in cheers.  Daenerys ain’t liking it.   She sulks in the corner and gives major side eye to Jon and his group of pals who are all having a blast as she sits alone and friendless.  Varys looks on with suspicious concern.  She rises with a resentful scowl and exits the hall.

Brienne, Podrick and the Lannister bros thoroughly enjoy their drinking game until Tyrion pulls an a-hole move by speculating about Brienne’s virginity.  It’s very Breakfast Club-y  (“Answer the question, Claire!”) and it sobers Brienne up real quick.  She excuses herself and walks off.  Jaime follows after her.

Sansa spies the Hound and joins him for a chat.  At first he’s his usual gruff self, but he soon comes to realize just how much Sansa has changed since her time in King’s Landing.   He points out that she could have been spared all the torment she’s lived through, if only she had trusted him and left King’s Landing with him the night of the battle at the Blackwater.  Sansa – boss that she is – goes full Christina Aguilera and tells him how all those hardships made her stronger and the woman that she is today. It’s really an awesome scene and solidifies why the Hound is one of my faves and also how savvy and confident Sansa has become since the start of the series.

Gendry leaves the hall and finds Arya, shooting arrows by herself in the courtyard.  He shares the news of his Lordship with her and before you know it, he’s professing his love for her and bends his knee to propose that she become his wife and the Lady of Storm’s End. Aw, Gendry! That’s sweet, but that’s also not Arya’s jam at all.  She lets him down super easy, and while it’s kind of a bummer these two aren’t going to settle down and make babies together, it’s totally the right move. Hold on, though – maybe they already HAVE made a baby together?!  I know it seems a bit far-fetched to throw that log onto the storyline fire with just a few episodes left, but it could be an actual possibility.  Just sayin’.

With the festivities winding down, errbody is looking for a booty call.  Jaime comes a knockin’ on Brienne’s door to do some serious follow up on the question about her virginity.  They hook up and it’s the first time for them both – for Jaime it’s the first time sleeping with a knight…and probably also somebody who isn’t related to him.  For Brienne, it’s the first time sleeping with a dude with a golden prosthetic – which might come in rather…handy.  Also, she is a virgin.  Well, she was.  ‘Till Jaime gave her a hand in that department.  Ok, I’ll stop.

As Jon sits in his room, there’s a knock on the door.  It’s Daenerys and he invites her in.  She gets super vulnerable with him and tells him she loves him.   Things start to heat up and they make out until Jon remembers that she’s his aunt.  Weirdly, it spoils the moment.  Dany wishes he had never told her the truth about his parents, and she begs him to keep it a secret. Jon reasons that he has to tell his family and he downplays the significance of putting the truth out into the world for everybody to know. Danerys counters that this will destroy them and he has a choice, but is being a d-bag about it.  “Ugh, why can’t you just go along with my awesome plan to live in blissful repression so I can be queen and everything stays amazing?!” She leaves in a huff.  I’m so torn by the stuff going on with Dany.  The writers are turning her into this unlikeable, selfish, pouty brat.  On the one hand, I feel she is justified to feel and act the way she does.  On the other hand, she’s making a lot of poor and rash decisions lately and really isn’t winning people over.  She needs a PR overhaul to get her mojo back, stat.  

The next day in the War Room, all the important people are discussing strategy as it pertains to knocking Cersei off her Iron Throne.  Daenerys has lost half her Dothraki and Unsullied troops.  Same for Jon and the Northerners.  They are now at an even balance with Cersei’s fighters which include the Golden Company.  Yara Greyjoy has managed to take back the Iron Islands, so Dany has her support. Dorne also stands behind Daenerys’ claim to the throne, because they hate Cersei’s guts.  Daenerys points out that is doesn’t matter that she has half of Westeros’s support if  Cersei remains in power in the capital – she must be removed.  And Dany’s gut instinct is to completely annihilate King’s Landing.

Lord Varys points out that it’s not the best move to kill thousands of innocent people, if they can find a better way to remove Cersei from power.  Tyrion suggests they make use of the Greyjoy fleet and cut off all food from coming into King’s Landing – he’s seen the people revolt against their monarch on their own in the past.  If they show the starving plebians what a crappy leader Cersei is, they’ll handle her  downfall on their own.  He also suggests that Daenerys offer Cersei a bargain, wherein the current queen can keep her life if she steps down without a fight.  At first Dany bristles at the idea, but she agrees to this plan, if only because it will make Daenerys look good to the people of King’s Landing that she attempted to broker a deal with Cersei to minimize the suffering of the common folk.

Sansa speaks up and says that her men – aka the North – need time to rest and heal from the battle against the Night King.  Daenerys snaps back like a petulant child. “Excuse me?? We need to attack my enemies NOW. I lent my forces for the Winterfell battle – and now that it’s time to pony up the North’s soldiers for my pet project of conquering the realm, you don’t wanna do it yet? What do we say to the God of stalling for time?  NOT TODAY, BIATCH!” Jon interjects that they’ll give Dany whatever she wants, when she wants, and both his sisters shoot him a look.   Ugh, I think it’s a really dumb decision on Daenerys’s part, and it is really solidifying her continued descent into becoming an unreasonable tyrant.  Plus, it’s not winning her any favor among the Northerners, which she badly needs. Really, what’s the harm in waiting another week or two?

Everybody agrees that Jon and the Northern army will march south along the King’s Road.  Meanwhile, Dany and her Unsullied will head to White Harbor and sail back to Dragonstone.  As everybody leaves the room, only the Stark siblings are left behind and Arya grabs Jon’s arm. “We need a word, bro.”

In the Godswood, Bran, Sansa, Arya and Jon all talk about how Sansa and Arya don’t trust Daenerys. But why?!  Cause she’s not family.  Ooooo-kay? Jon argues that’s a pretty stupid reason (I agree), as you can’t go far in life if you don’t widen the circle of trust beyond your kin. When Arya remarks the four of them are the last of the Starks and they need to stick together, Jon says he isn’t really a Stark.  Both sisters tell him that they see Jon as their brother, not their half-bro or a bastard.  Jon’s face is all “Oh, crap.  Maaaan, do I need to get this out now???”  “Dude, it’s your call,” says Bran.  And then Jon spills the beans.  Or rather, he swears his sisters to secrecy and then makes Bran fill them in on the details of his true parents.  Sadly, we viewers don’t get to see that part, so I’m left to imagine Bran pulling out a powerpoint presentation with a venn diagram of two circles that say “People Jon is related to” and “People Jon has slept with.”

The Lannister bros are chilling in one of the parlors at Winterfell, when who should walk in, but Bronn of the Blackwater – crossbow in hand.  Tyrion and Jaime ask him what’s up and Bronn tells him of Cersei’s plan to have him assassinate the two of them for a handsome reward.  Only problem is that Bronn doubts Cersei will win the war against Daenerys, and then she won’t be able to pay up.  When Tyrion reminds Bronn of their mutual understanding that Tyrion will double any amount that Bronn is offered to kill him, they reach an agreement. Jaime and Tyrion can live, and at the end of it all, when Dany takes over as queen, Bronn gets to be Lord of Highgarden – formerly the home of House Tyrell.  I don’t really think Tyrion is in any position to make this offer, but it gets the job done and Bronn is out of the picture till the fighting is through.  He’s always wanted that Castle, and now he may actually get it.  Huzzah for Bronn!

Outside Winterfell, the Hound is on a solo ride, when Arya shows up on horseback and joins him. They both disclose that they are each headed to King’s Landing for some unfinished business with no intention of returning to Winterfell.  And since these two travel so well as a duo, they agree to make the trek together. When the Hound asks Arya if she’ll leave him to die again, should he get hurt she quips “Probobaly.”  He grins and they trot off side by side.  It’s such a good scene.  These two are #FriendshipGoals. My guess is the Hound means to kill his big Frankenbrother, the Mountain.  And Arya, obviously, must be planning to murder Queen Cersei.  Hopefully she’ll do it disguised as Jaime and give Cersei the shock of her life when she ends it.  

From the ramparts, Sansa watches Queen Dany take off with her dragons.  Tyrion approaches and asks “What’s wrong, Buttercup?  How come you don’t like my queenie?”  Sansa considers things for a while and then goes “What if I told you there was a better choice?” Ruh-roh, don’t trust Sansa with your secrets, y’all!  Gurl is savage when it comes to pushing her agenda.  It’s a calculated move on her part, but damn, that is a major betrayal to Jon. I wonder what it’ll do to their relationship.

In the courtyard, Jon is ready to hit the road and bids farewell to Tormund.  His wildling pal is over life south of the Wall, and plans to head back North once the winter storms calm down.  Jon tells him to take Ghost, too.  WTF, Jon!  Rude.  Sam and Gilly say goodbye and reveal that Gilly is preggers.  Yay, Sam will have a legit heir for House Tarly…I mean…if they tie the knot, I guess. They’d better hop to it.  Then Jon gets on his horse and trots off without so much as a belly rub or a pat on the head for poor Ghost who just looks at him like, “Wow.  Ok, so all those times I saved your ass, and protected your dead body and saved your friend AND then ran like a madwolf into a horde of Dead for you…that meant nothing? Screw you, Jon Snow.  P.S. I peed on your entire collection of hair ties. See ya never.”

Dany’s fleet is on the home stretch with Dragonstone in sight. Tyrion and Varys are aboard one of the ships and discuss Jon’s secret and what it means for the future of the realm. Varys questions Daenerys’ state of mind and Tyrion sticks up for her.  Grasping onto hope that Dany and Jon might be able to get married and rule in harmony, Varys shuts it down.  “He can’t marry his aunt, dude!  He’s from the North and that just ain’t cool.  You think his people would stand for that union?”  But Tyrion lobbies hard for Dany and tells Varys she needs guidance from her trusted advisors.  Varys just gives him resting eunuch face.

Above in the skies, Dany flies on Drogon while Rhaegal soars nearby and the dragons both shriek out happy dragon sounds at the sight of their home when…THWACK!  Out of nowhere a spear pierces Rhaegal’s chest.  And then another comes at him.  Holy moles!  Euron’s fleet has been lying in wait and each ship is outfitted with a giant dragon-killing spear launcher.  More shots are fired and Rhaegal gets it in the wing and goes down, crashing into the water below.  Dany is furious and steers Drogon straight at Euron – pure rage burning in her eyes. This is exactly what Euron wants.  He readies the next spear and aims it at her.  But when the spears are launched, Daenerys manages to dodge out of the way and changes course away from the reach of the weapons.  Next, Euron turns the spears on Dany’s fleet, completely destroying all her boats.   Survivors – including Tyrion and Grey Worm –make it ashore, but Grey Worm soon notices that Missandei is missing.

In King’s Landing, Cersei watches from her balcony as commoners file into the Red Keep – she plans to use them as human shields.  Should Daenerys try to lay fiery waste to Cersei and the Red Keep, she’ll have to do so at the expense of the death of several thousands of innocents.  Not a great way to gain the love of the masses, Dany. Euron is there, too, and confirms that Dany’s one dragon was killed.  Cersei smiles smugly and tells  Euron how their child will rule both the land and sea.  Nice way to break the news to him – even if it’s a lie.  Euron is delighted that he’s knocked her up and secured his spot as future king.  As Cersei saunters away, we see she’s taken Missandei as her prisoner.  Ugh, Cersei is such a ruthless biatch.  I don’t understand why she wants to be queen if she doesn’t give a crap about her subjects and hates to be an actual leader to her people.  Seriously, she should just go and be a filthy rich Real Housewife of Casterly Rock and day drink all the time – it would be so less stressful and her quality of life would improve immensely.  

In the War Room at Dragonstone, Daenerys, Varys, Grey Worm and Tyrion all discuss next steps.   Both Dany and Grey Worm are out for revenge and are driven by their emotions, due to Missandei being kidnapped.  Grew Worm pushes for them to storm the city with no regard for the thousands of civilians who will die in the process.  Varys advises strongly not to do this and Dany gets a frightning look in her eye as she says it’s her destiny to free the world from tyrants – no matter the cost.  Somebody call Alanis Morissette because we really need to work this into her “Ironic” song.  “It’s like killing 10,000 peeeeeeeps, so you can be their beloved queen…”

In the Dragonstone throne room, Varys and Tyrion are in for more hand-wringing as they discuss the Daenerys/Jon problem.  Ultimately, Varys has lost faith in the dragon queen and he’s ready to bet all his chips on Jon.  He questions her ability to keep a cool head and worries she’ll get more ruthless and impulsive with more power.  When Tyrion protests that Jon doesn’t even want to be king, and can’t they just rule together, Varys dismisses it as an option.  In the end, Tyrion chooses to stand by his queen and do what a good advisor SHOULD do.   Varys, however, is ready to board the treason train.  When Tyrion asks Varys what would become of Dany, Varys just give him a look.  “Don’t do it, dude.” – “I’ve made my choice – now you make yours”, says Varys.  Oh man.  We already know Varys is gonna bite it, due to Melisandre’s prediction last season. I’m betting Dany is going to find out about his plotting and have him killed.  

Word of Daenerys’s ambush is delivered to Sansa.  When Jaime approaches her, she fills him in and adds “I always wanted to see your sis get executed – looks like I won’t have the chance. Tsk, tsk.”  That evening, Jaime leaves Brienne’s warm bed and saddles up a horse in the courtyard.  When Brienne notices he’s gone, she runs outside and begs him to stay. She believes he intends to save Cersei from Dany’s wrath.  Jaime won’t be persuaded and he gallops off as Brienne sobs, heartbroken. Personally, I think he might just go and try to kill Cersei himself – because, prophecies.  That is, unless Arya beats him to it.  Oooh, maybe he’ll get to King’s Landing just in time to see Arya disguised as him…killing Cersei.  Whaaaaat?  Mind blown. It could happen.

Outside the walls of the Red Keep, Daenerys and Cersei have a parlay.  Cersei stands on her ramparts – which have several dragon-spearing weapons set up – along with Missandei and the Mountain.  Both Hands of the Queen, Qyburn and Tyrion, meet up.  Tyrion informs Qyburn that Dany demands Cersei’s unconditional surrender and that Missandei be released immediately.  Qyburn placidly parrots nearly the same demand back to Tyrion:  Cersei demands Daenerys’s unconditional surrender and if she doesn’t, Missandei will die on the spot.  As Tyrion attempts to reason with Qyburn, he can see it’s pointless and he bypasses him, trotting right up to the gates to talk to his sister directly.  

When Tyrion approaches, Cersei’s archers all pull back their bows, ready to shoot him and oh my goodness, I’m so worried that Tyrion is about to get killed!  Cersei raises her hand, and after a good long moment of  trepidation, she gives her men the signal to stand down.  Whew!  Tyrion appeals to Cersei’s one good side – her loving nature as a mother – and he tells her she and her child don’t have to die if they cut a deal.  She can end her rule, and still have a great life with her child.  But Cersei ain’t having it.  She walks over to Missandei, who stands dangerously close to the edge of the wall. Cersei leans in and places a hand on her arm – is she going to push her?! Will she release her?! Nah, instead she tells Missandei this is her chance for some final words.  Ugh! WHY?  Missandei tearfully stares out at her Queen and Grey Worm and in a cracked voice calls out “DRACARYS!” The Mountain draws his sword and in one fell blow, chops off Missandei’s head while Daenerys looks on in helpless horror.  Her shock turns into pure simmering rage as Daenerys turns away and storms off.  And roll credits.

Ruh to the roh! This episode was rough! Poor Missandei. And poor Grey Worm!  I mean, I did assume one of them was going to die by the end of the series, but my money was on Grey Worm.  RIP Missandei!  I’m so upset that Daenerys is losing her most trusted people who love and support her completely.  I’m not happy at all that the show really seems to be setting her up for a total Mad Queen downward spiral.  Say it ain’t so.

I can’t say I really liked this episode, though I guess it was a necessary one to get all the pieces into place for the last two episodes.  I found it hopped all over the place to get as much stuff in as possible and tie up lots of characters’ stories.   I just hate all the things Dany did in this episode and it feels like a total betrayal to the viewer, if I may say so.  They just had her be this pouty, impulsive and manipulative person who makes a lot of dumb choices. If this is all meant to lay the groundwork to make her seem more and more power hungry and unstable, then well-done, but it doesn’t seem true to her nature at all and feels a bit like a cop out. Unless the writers just WANT us to believe they are going down that track and then they’ll surprise us all. Ahhh, the GOT mind games are messing with me.

Also, I really hope Arya gets to kill Cersei and I’m thinking maybe she’ll even help the Hound kill his bro – because Cleganebowl is starting to look like a sure thing here, right?  I kinda feel like Arya will die by the end of the series, because all four Stark siblings can’t possibly survive, can they?

I’m getting super excited for the big battle episode next week and I’m hoping it doesn’t leave me as disappointed as “The Long Night” in its resolution.  Hang in there, friends, and I’ll see ya next week!

[sickofyourfandombullshit]

Heathers 2018

So when I saw @princess-has-a-pen​ post about the new Heathers remake I had to look it up for two reasons:

1. I’m a huge fan of the Movie and Musical and 2. I had to see the fucking horror show that Spike TV was no doubt going to turn it into.

Now Princess asked in their tags the exact same thing I asked myself when I saw the post:

“Why?”

Well friends, strap yourselves in cuz I’m about to take you for a fucking ride.

Why remake Heathers? A movie that has solidified itself as a cult classic for it’s gritty, fucked up story and characters that took pretty much every kid who went to high school in the 80′s (or any time really) life and amped it up to 11?

Cuz the original Heathers is full of 'problematic' things and they can now remake it to be more 'progressive' while snagging a new audiance of younglings who know about Heathers because of the musical.

Now my friends, as I stated before, I love both the movie and the Musical, but as a mature, rational fan over the age of 30, I can look at something I love and point out it’s flaws and believe me, when it comes to the source material, Heathers the Musical is stuffed full of flaws and that creates some problems.

I am pretty sure all the Tumblrinas who idolize ‘Heathers’ have only seen the musical because honestly, the ‘date’ scene where Heather McNamara gets raped in the background would be enough to make them REEEEEE all the way to the fucking bank.

Like legit, she is literally struggling under her date (and not in a fun way) to make him stop and Veronica just fucking leaves her there. We don’t see her get away or anything, so you can only assume that that whole thing didn’t end well, especially given how miserable McNamara is in the movie to begin with.

The Muscial made light of a lot of the grim parts the movie worked to highlight, specifically bullying and suicide and the dangers of giving into pressure and just  being a fucking terrible human being. Not to mention it twisted things in a way that actually reinforced some harmful tropes. Specifically with the two main characters JD and Heather.

JD in the movie is a completely sociopath who physically and mentally abuses Veronica for almost the entire thing and in the Musical they gave him the stereotypical ‘troubled boy who wanted to make the world better but it just got out of hand’ treatment. Like “Oh yeah, he murders three people and tries to blow up a school but his dad’s a jerk and his mommy committed suicide so you can’t blame him! Deep down he’s just a tortured soul who really loves Veronica!”. Spoilers! He doesn’t love Veronica, at least not in any way that should be even entertained as any sort of ‘love’. He and Veronica’s relationship coupled with his ‘sacrifice’ at the end of the play made me cringe extra hard because it felt like it was romanticizing abusive relationships and in all honesty it was. A specific scene from the Musical where I thought they were actually going to address the toxicity of their ‘relationship’ (at the end of the ‘Our Love is God’ musical number where Veronica seems to have a mental break down as she screams ‘Our Love is God’ over and over again as if to drown out the fact that she just assisted in the murder of two people), was brushed under the rug the next scene and seemingly forgotten about till something ELSE big happens and then it’s fucking Ground Hogs Day apparently.

Veronica in the movie joined the Heathers before the movie even began because she wanted to be popular and due to her skill in forgery is pretty much made their pet project. She’s not as much of a cunt as Chandler or Duke but she's still pretty fucking bad. She kills Kurt herself, blows off her actual best friend in exchange for shallow popularity, laughs over Heather Chandler dying and only turns on JD when the suicide note she writes for Heather Chandler backfires and causes people to glorify Chandler as a saint. This as well leads her to realize that it’s pointless to kill people because someone else just takes their place as “The Mythic Bitch” ala Heather Duke’s transformation (also because JD straight up slaps her in the face for trying to back out on him). She only ever does anything semi sweet at the VERY end after JD gets blown up. In the Musical she is portrayed as a sweet innocent little buttercup who is super besties with Martha and sticks up for the little guy and never meant to hurt anyone and was just dragged into everything bad by bad people. She feels constantly guilty for it and seems unable to make any actual choices herself outside of breaking into JD’s house to fuck him. She’s totally innocent guys. Totes.

And before you say “C’moooon it’s a fuckin’ Muscial!” you need to go watch you some Dear Evan Hansen or Les Miserables because those two Musicals are heavy as fuck and had no problem in showing how fucked up serious shit like war and suicide was through flawed characters.

Now with this new series coming out it seems destined to fail. It has only been releasing Instagram videos to promote the show and already it’s hitting all the same old PC points while being SO EDGY at the same time. It’s Riverdale all fucking over again.

“The terrible trio is more like a set of outcasts who have taken over Westerberg High School.” -EW article

Like really? Fuckin’ really? The Heathers were all popular girls due to their wealth (McNamara), beauty (Duke) and over all exuding of confidence and attitude backed up by all of the previously stated assets (Chandler). They weren’t a bunch of outcasts. They took pride in how they looked and how people saw them. I don’t understand this fucking need to make every kid nowadays an ‘outcast’ in an effort to make them ‘relatable’. They did it to every kid in the Power Rangers remake and MJ in Spider-Man: Homecoming and it’s starting to  get fucking annoying. Oh well, gotta get them kids with all that EDGE!

So let’s look at the ‘Heathers’ (I can’t bring myself to not put that in quotation marks when talking about these piles of hot garbage):

Heather Chandler is a plus-sized, Skrillex haired edge lord who looks like every Tumblr Feminist/Suicide Girls reject and literally gives off no aura of power or fear at all. She just comes off as some fat bitch who found the HAAS RadFem movement on Twitter and used it to fill herself with enough undeserved self importance to justify being a cunt to everyone. Yes, where the original Heather Chandler got her power and reputation through sheer intimidation and personality, this Heather Chandler looks like the type of girl who will physically assault you in the bathroom and threaten to sit on you till you die.

Gee golly, I see Heather Duke is a sassy gay male now (and a white one at that). Wow, it’s not like that hasn’t been done a billion fucking times. Funny that he’s a white dude whose character in the movie and play turns out to capitalize on Heather Chandler’s death to raise their own status to the ‘queen bitch’ of the school. That’ll do GREAT for gay stereotypes I’m sure.

Aaaaand Heather McNamara, our possibly Asian possibly Latinx butprobably just party bag of mixed race token character who is the literal punching bag of the group. At least that seems to have not changed but I am sure it’ll help add shallow sympathy since now it’s not a bunch of white kids beating up on a little white girl, it’s a bunch of white kids beating up on a little minority girl. Goodie goodie.

The rest:

JD literally gets nothing to show from his video except one speaking line where he is telling Veronica that she’s “Not like Heather Chandler” she’s “better” while quick cutting a bunch of random shots from the show that mostly seem pointless and just confusing with one flash of him apparently running the flat of a knife on his palm behind his back? So we get nothing from our poor, tortured sociopath. I can just hear the producers of this show now: “We can’t show him being too soft or the old fans might not watch it and can’t show him being a psychotic asshole or the Musical fans won’t watch it, so make it just as cluster fucking and confusing as possible so no one will ask questions and just be drawn in with all the cheap visual click bait!”

For Veronica we again get nothing. One line of “Dear Diary, I hate my friends but that doesn’t mean I want them DEAD!” followed by more random cuts of shots from the show, many of bloody scenes and hints of violence but a lot more of just weird confusing scenes that make no sense. It’s kind of funny for the sheer reason that they seem to be banking on people just already knowing who these characters are ala the original movie but at the same time are trying to pull in new audience members with all the vague quick cutting which they seem to have mistaken for ‘mystery’.

And last  but not least, we have Betty Finn. What’s that? “Who if Betty Finn?” all you fans of the Musical ask? Well you wouldn’t know who Betty is unless you watched the MOVIE cuz Betty is who Martha Dump Truck replaced in the Musical because Betty wasn’t fucking sad sacky enough and they didn’t want to clutter the script with such a minor character. Betty was smart and an actual good person, the only good person in the movie honestly, who was Veronica’s friend since they were in diapers. She didn’t have a huge part in the movie outside of providing some blackmail material for JD to use against Heather Duke and trying to get Veronica to stop being such a moron (which failed). Now she’s appears to be the stereotypical side character that will be prominent in the show, probably as a comic relief character or plot device to be used against Veronica at some point.

Now, there is a huge question you have to ask:

Where is Martha? Will Martha even be in the series? Alright, it’s two questions but you get the point.

I have two guesses;

1. Possibly

but more than likely

2. No. Absolutely not.

Why do you ask? Because Martha’s character served as a plot device in both the Movie and the Musical to show how awful the Heathers really were and how their bullying was actually dangerous. Martha was a fat, slow, ugly dump of a girl. Problem is, you can’t make fun of that anymore. It’s not ‘progressive’ to make fun of people with those flaws. As well it wouldn’t make sense, Heather Chandler is fat in this remake. Unless they’re going to go full retard with some kind of ‘internalized fatphobia’ shit it wouldn’t make sense to make fun of Martha for that. Heather McNamara is the stereotypical ditzy airhead which doesn’t seem to have changed in this remake so to make fun of someone being ‘slow’ while laughing at an Air-Head-of-Color would just be super duper mean!

If they DO put Martha in, she will either have to still be dumpy, slow and fat and end up being the most popular character in the end for ‘not giving into societies beauty standards’ or some shit, OR she will have to actually flat out die from her suicide attempt to push the EDGE and drive plot.

Either way this whole thing is going to be a train wreck that will either take off at the idiotic rate in which Teen Wolf and Riverdale did or be an utter failure.

I seriously hope for the latter. Sorry this is so long and there are probably some spelling and grammar errors. It’s literally 2:30 in the morning and the Monster I drank is starting to ware off so I’m running on fumes.

[alexanderwrites]

Hack Job: Why Were Hacker Movies Ever A Thing?

Lately i’ve been thinking about that weird and almost completely failed subgenre of movie that attempted to light up the LCD screens of our hearts, but instead faded like a broken computer screen: the hacker film. Now, I could ask what good the sub-genre has ever done for us, but the answer to that is clear and just a few inches above this block of text. The genre birthed this iconic Matthew Lillard role from the movie Hackers, in which he plays a (wait for it!) hacker named...erm...Cereal Killer. Because....he likes Cereal? Sure, lets go with that! He’s a character described by June Diane Raphael on an episode of the podcast How Did This Get Made? as “Disgusting”, and she is not completely wrong. He is disgusting, bizarre and the strangest character Lillard has played, and i’m including Shaggy in the live action Scooby Doo films. He’s a character that must be experienced, and once experienced, never forgotten. I mean - you’ve seen what he fucking looks like. 

But my point remains: outside of Cereal Killer (I am bolding his name because he is an Important Man), the genre has offered up very little to the world. I admittedly know nothing at all about hacking, and I don’t care at all about Hacking, like, i’d presume, 90% of people currently residing here on earth. But I cannot imagine that people who love Hacking (or Hacker Fuckers, if you will) queuing up to see Hackers, a film that thinks this is what the internet looks like:

Now, i’m no city-slickin’ mouse-clickin’ hacker, but I don’t think that’s what the internet looks like. I could be wrong, and character actor Fisher Stevens (I was about to write “beloved” character actor, but then I remembered Short Circuit) could be skating through a flashing pillar of internet right now. It’s a cool thought! Hackers came along in 1995, when future optimism was higher than it had been in years, as everyone believed the tech-bubble would never burst (spoiler alert: it did!) and that the new millennium would bring a world of positive changes and possibilities. The poor, innocent souls of 1995 could never have possibly imagined the true horrors waiting for them on the other side of the millennium...

But before Fred Durst became a thing in a hat that you had to look at, technology was booming, affordable and exciting. You got transparent Macs that allowed you to see through into the mechanical nonsense inside it. The new fangled e-mail gave us (I don’t know why i’m saying “us”. I was 3 years old in 1995. Babies don’t get emails) all the opportunity to open your email and then close it again as many times as you liked! So this is what producers saw when they started making movies like Hackers. They put their strongest marketing minds together and came up with “People got computers now. Make comPUTER FILM!”. Those wild bastards actually went and did it! And weirdly, Hackers was kinda ahead of its time. It might’ve been wildly inaccurate in almost every possible way, but it paved the way for a wave of (well, like 3) films. The Matrix wouldn’t be released for another 4 years, and Swordfish a further 2. If it did incite a trend, it was the only trend started by Director Iain Softley, his later film K-Pax tragically failing to kick start a new genre of films in which Kevin Spacey eats bananas with their skins still on.

Good stuff! Hackers does feel like a film that is unsure of whether it’s trying to replicate fads or start them off. I mean, characters rollerblade everywhere for no apparent reason in the film. That might be something Hackers do? I’ve never seen Mr Robot, so I cannot categorically say that Rami Malek doesn’t rollerblade his way around town like a Starlight Express extra who really hates computers. But I doubt it. So with the rollerblading, and the way....ugh...Cereal Killer dresses, it seems like the film is offering you up its own funky ideas that you could follow on from if you want to get murdered on the streets. Did its aesthetic style have influence? Was the game Jet Set Radio from 2000 and its rollerblading theme influenced at all by Hackers? Did Eminem see Johnny Lee Miller’s bleached blonde hair in the film (quick deeply important side note: his character is named Dade. DADE.) and think “huh. that would really compliment my insufferable personality!”? We’ll never know. The film is a weird exercise in style and trends, and the soundtrack, crammed with The Prodidgy and Underworld, is proof that at least the soundtrack department had its finger on the pulse. And, it could be argued that the film’s costume department at least came up with some creative cyber-punk clothing, and were bold enough to make Penn Jillette look like this:

The thing is, I liked the weirdness of it all, I like this misfires in capturing modern life, and inaccuracy doesn’t bother me really if a film is fun enough. I’m not a stickler for realism. I didn’t sit down to Face/Off and complain that it’s totally unbelievable that John Travolta is a human person. That’s not the issue. The issue, really is that with all the giant screen Playstations, pounding trance tracks and references to Coca Cola (weird, I thought Mountain Dew would be the Hacker’s choice), the film is in troubled water because of the fact that Hacking is unbelievably, deeply fucking boring. It is not interesting in seeing someone go clickety clack on a keyboard and make occasional faces to indicate that “oh no! the mainframe is busting my chops!” or “Huzzah! I clicked the mouse really fast just now!”.

Thankfully, the film has some fairly decent editing which intersperses the clickety-clacking with some long exposure, sped up shots of New York City just in case you forgot it was the 90′s. The fact that they need to cut away to exciting, zooming shots that have nothing to do with anything highlights the fact that the Director and Editor knew exactly what i’m talking about: HACKING IS FUCKING BORING (if you’re a hacker reading this, please don’t hack me). And they’ve built an entire film around it! A whole nonsensical plot which involves (as far as i can remember) big ships and evil corporations that want to sink the big ships is built on Hacking. Thank god this film is so wildly ridiculous, which keeps it from being entirely boring. It’s smart in that it knows to not make the film actually about hacking, but then you kind of ask yourself the question: why is this film about Hacking at all? Why is it called Hackers? Maybe a better name would’ve been ‘Bladin’ Teenz’, as an ode to their endless rollerblading. It’s a fun film, but a dumb film and proof that films entirely about hacking cannot really work.

The Matrix was a wise film. Exploiting that hip, late-90s techno excitement that everyone was buzzing over, it featured a hacker at its centre who really doesn’t do much hacking at all. In fact, Morpheus might as well have said “You Hack? Dude fucking grow up. Come on, i’ll make you a treat”. Sure, you’ve got the iconic green gibberish that turns up on the computers and would inspire a million shitty screensavers, but again the hacking is intercut with other action going on in the film. You have characters typing away and yelling shit like “I’m nearly in!” or “i’m not nearly in!” or “I am unsure of whether I am, in fact, in, nearly in, or not nearly in!”. But that is manageable and minimal, and in the end there’s so much more to remember about The Matrix that I don’t think anyone, when asked what it’s about, would say “Oh it’s about Keanu Reeves hacking on his dell”. It understood this caveat, and created its own style which would influence every single music video ever produced over the next 5 years.

These are screenshots from the video for Don’t Wanna Let You Go by 5ive, a very bad UK Boy-band that had 4 singers and 1 rapper, all of whom it’s safe to assume have passed away. 

The Matrix had the style, and the smarts to sidestep bland hacking scenes. You know what film doesn’t understand that hacking is boring? Fucking Swordfish.

Fucking Swordfish. A film so aesthetically ugly and repulsive in every way that it does the unthinkable and makes you hate Hugh Jackman. But it commits the biggest sin of all by giving John Travolta a teeny tiny beard - a decision which we still feel the fallout from today, whenever a new red carpet photo arrises of John’s new chin abomination. 

Looking like a cup of concentrated Michael Bay piss, the film leans heavily into stylishness - or lack thereof. Hugh Jackman is basically...sigh...DADE in the movie, and Travolta is regularly outfitted with funny sunglasses. It borrows a lot from Hackers, but while that had a naive, 1995 goofy charm, Swordfish is an aggressively stupid and oblivious movie, that gives us a LOT of Hacking. Like...so much Hacking. The Most Hacking. Oh, The Fucking Hacking. Its a reminder of just how boring Hackers or The Matrix could’ve been if they’d fallen into the wrong hands, and a big, horribly colour-corrected reminder that films about hacking really aren’t the best. Instead of cutaways of cityscapes, Swordfish tries to build the tension during one hacking scene in the grossest way possible: by having Hugh Jackman’s character receive forced fellatio while he works, and while John Travolta smiles. It doesn’t make a boring scene exciting, it makes a boring scene fucking disgusting (the movie’s grossness doesn’t stop there. Halle Berry was heavily pushed into taking her top off in the movie, and promised extra money if she did it.). The Hackers method of randomised cutaways feels a million miles away during these scenes, and you will be willing to pay any earthly sum to make the scene unfolding in front of you stop. Maybe that’s how hackers should make their money from here on in: stop hacking, and just start blackmailing people by forcing them to watch Swordfish. Fucking Swordfish.

The movie was also a bit of a death knell for a subgenre that never really took off. People realised “Oh, this is dull and crap to watch!” when it came to hacking, and technology moved on rapidly that there was a lot more to do with it than watch some guy slapping the keys of his iMac. I find it a really interesting subgenre to look back at, because i’m a huge fan of outdated technologies, fashion styles, turn of the millennium culture, and really quite poor films (besides The Matrix which holds up nicely). Hollywood has tried to make a manner of subjects interesting. Stock markets. Fishing. White people who buy zoos. Some work, some don’t, and it’s all about the way the subject is handled. Because of their reliance on technology, these hacking films feel so dated that maybe Hollywood doesn’t want to risk dipping its toes back into the cyberwaters again. I kind of hope they don’t, because I would literally rather never see a film again than have to even know that a film about Anonymous is being made. I don’t want an ‘edgy’ modern movie that’s made for Banksy to watch while he plunges his hands down his pants and goes to town. I want silly old Cereal Killer and towers of nonsense computer language dammit! I want rollerblading, coke-drinking cyberpunks! Oh well. Whatever happens to the genre, at the very least, we’ll always have Dade and The Gang....

[thirstyfortom]

Control: Ch. 14 (FINALE)

You’re trembling. Thankfully, there’s no way your legs will get weak and make you fall on your knees. Not with the chains holding your wrists above your head like this. The cold you’re feeling could be from your sweating, you’re not sure, and you’re not scared.

You curl your lips, holding back a whimper when feeling the now familiar sensation of the cold metal squeezing your nipples. Oh no… not this again…

“What? You don’t like it?” Silence. And then a smack is heard. “I’ve asked you a question.”

“I like it.” You mutter between your teeth. “I like it, mistress.”

She laughs, her cackle makes you shiver more than any lashed or slap she gave you that night. She warned her lessons would be getting stricter from now on. Yes, lately she’s been correcting your posture and attitude a lot more, which is good, there was a time you thought she wouldn’t teach you anything and just treat you like her sub forever. But the sessions are evolving, she’s really showing you in a practical way. She should, right? You already have the contact of the one who can be your first client.

“You’re pathetic.” She lowers her tone abruptly. “You’re angry at me right now, aren’t you? Don’t you dare lying or I’ll punish you.”

“I’m not angry.” You flinch, feeling the pain hitting the back of your thighs.

“You know you’ll never be able to succeed with that attitude, right? No client will trust you if you’re not able to control your anger.”

“I’m…” oh right, you’re not allowed to talk.

“You’re so arrogant, even like this right now. If you were a little more humble, I could be nicer to you, you know?” she pries a few strands of your hair from your shoulder “Arrogance can be interesting in a session. But you know what the secret of the best domes out there is? Do you know?”

“They are… they are humble, mistress.”

“Good girl.” Ah, so you have a praising kink now? “So, MC, in order to be a professional domme, you have to be humble! Not inside the dungeon, okay. But you can’t think you’re superior to them, remember that without them, you are nothing. Respect their choices, embrace their desires, do you understand?”

“I do, mistress. I…” do you still have permission to talk?

“Go ahead.”

“I try to look above them because… I’m afraid they’ll misunderstand me since I’m…”

***

“I’m only doing this for the money.” You state coldly, peering at his eyes. “So don’t get any wrong ideas.”

“Of course. I didn’t expect it to be any different.” Jumin says mindlessly while flipping through the pages you hand him. “Tickling?” he scoffs, showing you a page.

“Well, I heard once that tickles are innocent only until you’re 15, after that is pure arousal.” You shrug “Don’t underestimate it, you have no idea how it feels to be ticked with feathers having your body completely tied. Don’t underestimate anything it’s on that list, I’m serious.”

“I won’t. So… what do you recommend?”

“I recommend you read the list and pick what you’re okay with.” He chuckles. “What’s so funny?”

“I just think it’s interesting how you act different when discussing these matters…  you are… very different from what I have known, MC.”

“This is just me being professional, you’ve saw a glimpse of it when I was interning at C&R.”

“Yes, it was impressive. I’m just impressed, I suppose.”

“No need for that, but… well, I can’t tell what you should feel or not.”

“Then you won’t oppose if I give you total freedom on my contract?”

“Meaning?”

“I’m giving you a free hand. You can pick any item in that list you think it would suit me.”

“I strongly recommend you don’t do this, Jumin.”

“And I appreciate the recommendation. But I think you already know what I would like, MC.” That look in his eyes send an alert to your whole body to be careful.

“If this is about your attempts of bondage when we were together, I should remind you that you won’t be in charge, Jumin, I will.”

“I’m completely aware of this, yes. I’m saying you could know what to do based on what I’ve done.”

“You’re saying you want me to do with you what you wanted to do with me?” you can’t hold back a smirk.

“Precisely.” He, on the other hand, never looked so serious. NEVER.

“Alright.” You bring the papers to yourself. “I’ll meet you tomorrow to bring a copy of your contract.”

“So soon?”

“I could do it tonight, but right now I need to go over some matters regarding my previous contracts, there was a… setback. Anyway, nothing you should be concerned. See you tomorrow at this same place and hour, you understand?”

“Of course. I’ll be here.”

“Then I’ll be off.” You stand up from your chair, adjusting the strap of your bag.

“MC?”

“Yes?” you turn on your heels to face him

“Have you heard anything from Luciel? It’s been a week nobody can get a hold of him.”

“No, and consider this my first order to you: don’t ever mention that name again.”

“Did it end that awfully?”

“It never even started. They just… come and go, I guess.”

“Clients?”

“Men.”

***

“Men are all mediocre.” You say, brushing the beads on the tip of the whip against the bars of the cage, producing a resonating metallic sound. “And I think their relation to sex is what causes their mediocrity. Yes, men are raised to believe there’s something extraordinary in sex, that they will feel extraordinary through sex. ‘Hey, your dick is big, that’s amazing!’ ‘You can last so long, good job, dude!’ ‘No pussy can resist to this cock!’ but if you come to think of it, sex hasn’t change that much, it’s the same thing it has been ever since two, three centuries ago, men have been acting like it’s a big deal for so long over something that doesn’t evolve. Something so ordinary as this amount of flesh you have between your legs.” You scoff “Sex brings out the mediocrity in all of us, not only men, but… mainly on them. I digress, it’s just a theory, I can’t force you to agree with me.” You hit the whip on his ass. “Or can I?”

Jumin pants heavily. His neck hurts, being all curled up like this so he could fit inside the cage. His knees are almost numb from being pressed against the hard bars. It… hurts. Everything hurts, except for his ears, desperately focusing on the sound of your voice.

“Nah, I can’t. What would you know about sex, men or mediocrity? You’re just a kitty, right?” another hit. “RIGHT?”

“Y-yes, my owner.”

“Do you like your cage? I think it’s pretty…  but, of course, you would know better than me, you’re the one who knows all about cages.”

“MC… Ahhhhh!” you pull him by his hair harshly.

“I’m your owner! Who are you to call me by my name? Tsk… such a bad kitty, I was thinking of releasing you so we could play a little, but if you’re going to behave like that, I should probably leave you like this a little more. Fair, right?”

“Yes, my owner. I… apologize.”

“Good kitty. Finally we’re making some progress. But you didn’t answer, do you like your cage?”

“It’s… tight.”

“Of course it’s tight, it wouldn’t be fun if it wasn’t. And why are you complaining now? That cage you had was smaller than this. It wasn’t comfortable even for Elizabeth, why would it be to a person? Have you thought of that?”

“I was… I was joking.”

“Ah yes, Jumin Han and his unusual sense of humor. So tell me, what was the concept behind the joke of trapping me inside that penthouse? I can’t wait to hear it.”

“My owner… I think we should discuss this in a different occasion…”

“Well, you don’t have a say here, so don’t try to question me, I’m the one doing the questions. Tell me… I want to know exactly what you were thinking.”

“I thought you were going to leave me. I didn’t want to be abandoned, MC. You… wouldn’t know about this fear of being abandoned.” He realizes he didn’t address you as ‘owner’, but you didn’t hit him.

“What if I did know? What if I stayed only because I knew how it feels to be lonely? Abandoned?” you let the whip fall on the floor.

Jumin raises his head as possible as he can. Only to catch a glimpse of your eyes watering. Is this… normal in a BDSM session? Is this still a BDSM session? Are you talking as his owner or as his ex – fiancée right now?

“What if, seeing you, I reminded of this… poor teenage girl growing with a mother who couldn’t leave the bed due to an illness and a sexist conservative father that would lock the girl in the attic everytime she would come late from school? What if that man kept reminding the girl that she was being selfish and that she should be home to take care of her mom? What if he tried to pressure her on leaving school to stay in that hell of a house 24/7? What if I were as scared as you, Jumin?”

“MC… your family… you never talked about your family…”

“As I said before, I have a lot of baggage you wouldn’t be able to deal at the state you were back then. I needed to surround you only with optimism, and hope, and… love. I couldn’t… contaminate you with all my… anger. And… when I thought that penthouse could be like the attic, and that you could take control over my life like my father did, I… I was so angry, Jumin.”

“You’re not angry, MC, you’re hurt. I… hurt you, didn’t I? I was hurting you all these days you… felt like telling the truth and was afraid of my reaction, wasn’t I?”

“Not as much as I hurt you by lying. You… have so many trusting issues, Jumin, I knew that and kept on lying to you. I… thought you were kinda like my father, but the thing is… I’m like my father, and you… you are like my mother.”

“MC…”

“My mother…  I miss her so much, Jumin, and I left her. I… send her money every month, but it’s not enough.”

“You love her, MC. I can tell you do.”

“And you, better than nobody else, should know my love is worth for nothing. Look at you right now, Jumin. Look what my love made you do.”

“I chose this, MC.”

“Because you want me back, because you want my love back.” You kneel before the cage, opening it and giving some space so he can get out. “And… my love is destroying you, Jumin.”

“No, MC. Don’t say that.”

“It’s truth. Look, I’m so proud to see you are acknowledging your emotions, but… your emotions shouldn’t be out so they will be shattered by me.” You say, untying his hands. “Not by some lying whore like m…”

He interrupts you with a kiss, both of you swallowing each other’s sobs. Jumin feels something salty dripping on his lips. Your tears or his? Oh… how long has it been since the last time he cried?

You hug him, leaning your chin on his shoulder. Who’s comforting who? Is there something to comfort? Look at how many protocols you’ve broke in this failed session, isn’t it obvious by now that you two being close is a recipe for disaster?

“I love you, MC.”

“I love you too, Jumin.” You kiss his cheek. “And that’s the problem, our love make us arrogant.”

“What do you mean?”

“That we should be more humble and admit we’re both mediocre.” You pull away from his embrace, looking at him. “Our love can’t fix everything.”

“Are you trying to say goodbye?”

***

“It’s not a ‘goodbye’, it’s a ‘see you soon’”

“Okay, just one more selfie, MC. Please?”

“Fine… but let’s hurry, I still have to pack some things.”

“Yeah yeah, that’s why we need to gather as much memories as we can, babe.” Zen beams at you. “Now let’s try to catch your class’s plaque. Come on, everybody, come close again.”

You get crushed by Yoosung and Jaehee. Well, at least Zen’s long arm was able to capture everybody and the 2013 publicity class’s plaque with the “It’s not a ‘goodbye’, it’s a ‘see you soon’” phrase.

“Well, I’m not V, but I’m pretty good at the selfie game.”

“I’m sure it looks great, Zen.” V pats his shoulder playfully. “Anyway, are you sure you don’t want to go somewhere to celebrate, MC?”

“Yes, I can always call a chef.” Jumin adds.

“Ah, thank you, but as I said, there’s still a lot to pack. My flight is tomorrow morning and I would rather not be in a hurry.”

“Well, that’s a shame.” V clicks his tongue.

“Not really. This feels like the perfect celebration. Thank you all for coming, guys.”

“We would never miss your graduation, MC!” Yoosung beams.

“Yeah, it will be you on a few years, Yoosung!” he chuckles nervously at your answer. “I hope I get to be here.”

“We all do.” Jumin says, smiling softly at you. “We’re going to miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too, guys. RFA has done so much for me, and I hope I get to repay it one day. I… have grown a lot through all the experiences, were they bad or good.  And…” your voice breaks “I promise myself I wouldn’t cry, shit! To put it bluntly, thank you…” you say hovering your eyes through all of them, stopping at Jumin’s. “Thank you for supporting me and staying by my side, especially after I told you guys about my… other job. I love you all so much.”

“We love you too, MC.” Jaehee says, patting your shoulder as you smile sadly.

“Well, I… should get going. Uh, before I forget here…” you mess in your bag a little, taking a plain plastic little square. “Was it that what you wanted, V?”

“Ah yes, MC. Thank you. Did you take a look at it?”

“Yeah, it was hard to find a computer that reads floppy disks these days, but I found one. There’s nothing much there, though, just some pics of Seven as a kid.”

“I see… well, it’s a start, maybe there is some clue of where Luciel could be. Well, I won’t hold you any longer, MC.”

“Yes, thank you. Thank you all guys, I… really want to believe it’s not a goodbye.”

“Yeah, there are phones and computers in England, so make sure to keep in touch, babe!” en hugs you and kisses your forehead.

“I will. So… goodbye, everybody.” You turn on your heels and walk away, fighting your tears.

Are you running away? Like you did from your father? No, this isn’t only about Jumin, you tell yourself. You knew you had to leave a month ago, when you found out about that… yeah, this isn’t to protect Jumin only, but also the life growing inside you.

“MC, wait!” Jumin runs after you “I… Driver Kim can take you there faster.” You both stare at each other, like you did when you showed up at his penthouse that one afternoon.

“Thank you. That would be great.” You smile, tugging your hair behind your ear.

***

“It was great, MC. You are… really great.”

“So are you, Jumin…” you rock your body awkwardly, like you did when you showed up in front of him for the first time.

“Isn’t there really anything I can say for you to stay?”

“There is, but you would be lying, so it wouldn’t count.” He smiles wryly as you do the same. “I already refunded you from that fiasco, don’t worry.”

“Like I would worry. You could keep the money, you will need it if you’re living abroad.”

“It’s fine. I got a lot of money recently, so I should be fine to live abroad and keep sending money to my mother. Anyway… I should get inside.”

You motion to get out of the car, but Jumin stops you with a hug, you hug him back, fighting the tears. Jumin immediately remembers of that day at the hospital, ahh, it feels like decades, so much had happened with his father, him, you… everything has changed.

Now he gets what you said that day… he shouldn’t blame yourself for things he can’t control. Instead of blaming and wondering what he could have done differently for you to stay, he decided to support your decision. Jumin would support you in a way nobody ever had, neither to you or to him.

And remembering that, he thought about his father and something he said a long time ago: “Love is about restraints.”

It isn’t.

Love is about letting go. And he would, with the hope that one day it would be enough.

And so would you, with the hope your love wouldn’t ruin the baby you were carrying.

There you have it… and though I said this is the ffinale, stick around for an epilogue next week. Then I’ll let the thankings to next monday.

← Chapter 13 | Epilogue  →

[regular-lord-reckoner]

AFI: Secret Nazis?!?!

Alright, so...let’s jump into this, I guess 

I’ve posted before about Davey’s clothing line Eat Your Own Tail here because that’s just a wholllllle bucket of problems, although like I said in my post, I’m not gonna take that as solid 1000% proof that dude’s a secret Nazi 

Do I think what he’s doing there is the most responsible thing? No. Have I called him out on it? Yes. Is he gonna do something about it? Idk, that remains to be seen 

I realize that this has caused a looooot of emotional turmoil for fans and it’s even garnered the attention of non-fans who have looked further into the band and the situation as a whole and there’s a post going around that lays out what it claims to be proof that AFI is basically a beehive of racism 

And here’s the thing, like...we all understand on just a base line level that white people are inherently racist. We were born into a racist society and we benefit from white privilege and it’s not like reading a few articles or watching 13th magically cures any of us of being racist 

Is it possible that this group or at least half of it is totally fucking racist and at the very least Nazi sympathizers? I mean...yeah, anything’s possible. 

Given some of the posed arguments, though...Idk. I might be an oblivious fan over here with my head stuck up my own ass, but I’m not swayed by arguments such as “They have a song called ‘White Offerings’” as proof of them being racist 

Like...okay, and? 

These are the lyrics: 

If I were only If I were only here I'd try I'd try to give you little birds I've made Oh, everyone takes flight never to return again White offerings are all I bring Welcome to white room, white room White offerings are all I bring I welcome you, I offer you this white room If I were only If I were only here I'd try I'd try to gift you paper birds I free And you'd set fire to my sky Oh, but I will offer you White offerings are all I bring Welcome to white room, white room White offerings are all I bring I welcome you, I offer you this white room I can feel your color changing I can feel your color changing I can feel your color changing I can feel it change White offerings are all I bring Welcome to white room, white room White offerings are all I bring I welcome you, I offer you this white room White White room White room White offerings are all I bring I offer you this white room

Now, perhaps I’m just super duper ignorant here, but...this doesn’t sound like a pro-ethnic cleansing anthem to me ???? 

As someone who’s listened to this band for years I can tell you that the lyrics often reference colors (white, black, gold, grey, etc.) and that there are a loooooot of songs about failed relationships 

Another way of looking at this song could be that the use of the color white here is symbolism for the absence of something. I’m no color theory major, but I know a lot of people tend to think of white as being the absence of color (which I feel like is actually wrong but regardless it’s still something people believe so bear with me) 

You could interpret this song as being about a situation being disturbed or changing, becoming tumultuous or chaotic. “I offer you stability and you reject that” in other words. 

Or, y’know, you could take it to mean Davey wants to see the destruction of all other races, that’s a thing, too. 

I guess by that logic any time I hear the word white in a song sung by a white dude I’m gonna have to rethink everything. I’m lookin’ at you, Thom Yorke and your “Daydreaming” song. “WHITE room, by window?” I see you. 

Another point was that Kerrang! magazine rated AFI’s most recent album with a series of Ks because their name begins with a K so I guess instead of stars they made the piss poor decision to giving albums ratings in Ks? Or maybe just this one? I don’t fuckin’ know, but it sounds like Kerrang!’s problem if you ask me, but Idk maybe Davey asked for that rating specifically as a shout out to his brothers in the klan. 

Yet another point is in XTRMST lyrics and this one I can see because that’s some angry, violent shit but...here’s the thing, I dunno why we all suddenly have amnesia and are pretending that we don’t know what that band’s purpose was 

Correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t XTRMST supposed to be an angry, violent straight edge thing? Meaning...the references to Xs have to do with straight edge symbolism. The lyrics are talking about drugs culture, alcohol culture, meat/dairy culture, and religion? The talk about eradicating shit is in reference to doing away with society’s acceptance of what Davey perceives to be toxic behaviors and mindsets as they pertain to drugs, alcohol, meat/dairy consumption, and religion. 

Because it’s not really any big secret that these are things Davey has a pretty big problem with, like he’s not been quiet about that in interviews and in songs and look, like...I like AFI and shit, but I do find some of that shit to be borderline obnoxious 

I bought into straight edge culture at one point in time and thought myself morally superior and better than, etc.,etc and now I’m just like...let people fucking live their lives, man. If someone wants to get fucked up on drugs, that’s their choice. If someone wants to believe in something I don’t, I’m cool with that as long as they don’t try to force it down my throat. If someone wants to eat meat and consume dairy I’m cool, just don’t insist that everyone else do the same and we’ll be okay 

So yeah, on that level that kinda makes him a dick, like I get that he has strong feelings about this shit, but the name XTRMST itself suggests that he knows as much but he’s gonna go ahead with it anyway 

But like I said, I get how you could look at that, especially given everything else, and be like, “Yiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiikes” And I could be totally ass wrong about this, I really could 

My thing is, though...I’m trying not to go into this with confirmation bias. Like...I think people are understandably uncomfortable and displaced with the EYOT shit, fine. But I think now people are looking into other things and trying to find further evidence to compound this situation and I just...I’m not sure it’s really there??? 

Again, I could be totally, totally ass wrong and if I am then believe you me I’ll be right there with you throwing away all my posters and albums and shit because fucking no, man 

But like...before I start just burning everything down and wailing and screaming I’m gonna try to take a step back and really think about this shit and think about what the other possible explanations could be 

Ideally, yes, they would be 100% up front about this and it would be clear as fucking DAY where they stand and I realize that’s caused a lot of anxiety and uncertainty and I feel ya on that one, I do 

But I think it’s also worth noting that like...people have pointed out how good Hunter and Adam especially have been about speaking out against all the bullshit that’s been happening lately in the world and with politics. And if nothing else, maybe that’s something to consider? 

Because here’s the thing, either these two are somehow completely hookwinked by their bandmates and somehow would have just no-fucking-clue whatsoever that they’ve been friends with Nazis for like 20 some odd years and they’re completely innocent in this or...

They’re okay with it. They don’t think it’s that big of a deal and by proxy then, they’re assholes as well and belong in the trash right alongside Davey and Jade 

And I would hope to fuckin’ god that Adam especially isn’t in the latter category because heyyyyy someone tell his wife she needs to fuckin’ run because apparently Adam’s down with his bandmates wanting to kill her 

So, there’s that. 

Again, like...I’m not here trying to excuse a bunch of shit and act like, “my faves aren’t problematic!!!” because uh, yeah, they are 

Personally, I’m of the camp that I think Davey’s clothing line disaster was an effort to try to pay homage to the occult/witchcraft shit it’s just...so many of those fuckin’ symbols and shit are tainted now and should probably go in the fucking trash, Idk. Being that that’s the theme I could understand why there’s an image of a church with a noose in front of it because correct me if I’m wrong, but supposed witches were hung in the gallows in addition to being burned and thrown in rivers with pockets full of stones and being that this persecution came from churches, well...ya know

But again, the image of a noose brings up a lot of other shit that, given this whole situation makes people go, “Eh????” so I get that, I do, I’m just saying like...that’s not the only explanation, especially when you put the image in the context of what at least was trying to be intended here 

Again, though, I could very well be wrong and this whole thing could Davey’s way of trying to make his Nazi affiliation be known, I’m not necessarily ruling that one out because the world’s a fucking garbage dump, my country’s basically on fire, and I say you kill your heroes and fly, fly baby don’t cry because people you look up to usually end up disappointing and devastating you in some way or another, right? Might as well go big or go fuckin’ home in this case 

As of right now, though, right in this moment I’m sorry but I can’t get on this bandwagon of, “Let’s throw all AFI shit away and wash my hands of this!!!” because I feel like this is a clusterfuck of a situation and that there are other explanations besides, “Well clearly this is the work of some racist mother fuckers who want ethnic cleansing” 

Yes, XTRMST lyrics are...what they are and maybe I’m being misdirected by the creators themselves, but if you look at the songs again from the lens of someone who’s talking about rejecting/destroying these things that he finds abhorrent (again, drug culture, religion, consumption of meat/dairy, drinking) it leaves less room to interpret it as, “Oh, well clearly this is all about ridding the world of races other than white” 

Hold Davey accountable for his misstep with his clothing line and keep trying to reach out, try to get him to listen because I agree that even if his intentions were good, even if he was trying to reclaim these images back to their original context, given the climate of things right now it’s A. not really his place to be doing so and B. just overall not a good idea and comes off as super sketchy and not okay 

But I will implore you, if I can, to not jump to conclusions. To not try to twist every lyric you find that has the word “white” in it into something it’s more than likely not. And to just sort of take a step back if you’re starting to feel overwhelmed and upset 

Also to realize that yes, we need to do our best to recognize and identify and reject symbols that have Nazi affiliations, but to also realize that guys, there are...a fuck ton. Because as I said in my other post, that’s part of their insidious nature is to hijack shit that doesn’t belong to them and fucking taint it and ruin it for everyone else. The fucking Swastika should tell you as much (and although there are cultures that have since given up the symbol there are some that still continue to use it because it belonged to them first and they refuse to let someone take it from them, fair enough). 

In the case of the occult/witchcraft symbolism Nazis have borrowed pretty heavily from this well. The image of three figures cloaked in black has been circulating with some of these posts. These, again, are images meant to signify the occult, these are as far as I know meant to represent witches. The pointed hood, however, lends itself to klan imagery which came after and which stole from this look, taking the all black look and turning it all white. You could then argue that continuing to use the all black imagery is a middle finger to the klan for trying to re-purpose and make shitty what doesn’t belong to them, but that’s sort of a tricky area, I think. I’ve seen recent photos taken of covens at some of the protests that have been happening and these individuals are still wearing the black garb with pointed hoods because it’s still integral to their imagery. If the two are too similar, though, I think we need to have a larger discussion then about what needs to be done in those communities regarding certain imagery, wardrobe, and symbolism and if Davey wants to get in on that and contribute in a positive way, then great. If not then that’s unfortunate and we need to continue to try to address that point with him. 

And here’s the thing, like...I get it, man. Nobody wants to be the fucking asshole. Nobody wants to have egg on their face and it’s better to err on the side of caution by just saying, “Yeah, they’re probably a bunch of racist Nazi fucks, fuck them” because if you’re wrong then...oh well, but if you’re right then you dodged a bullet and you have the satisfaction of knowing that you made the right call 

At the same time, though, maybe don’t make villains out of people because they’ve done problematic shit? Still hold them accountable for what they’ve done wrong, absolutely, but like...you don’t have to go on a fucking treasure hunt to uncover more fucked up shit that might not even be there to support your argument 

I think the clothing line shit within itself is bad enough without having to take lyrics out of their original context in order to say, “And as you can see, this clearly proves my point that these dudes are racist as FUCK” 

They may very well be, but I guess I say all of this to say I’m gonna need something besides what’s been provided to convince me and maybe that’s just shitty and terrible and ignorant of me, maybe I’m being a stubborn fan here, but I’m just not seeing it. 

I am seeing the problems with EYOT (even though I don’t think there quite as severe as some have made them out to be) but when I see these posts dragging out lyrics and shit all I can think is: it’s not that deep 

I understand that this is a serious and sensitive issue and I’m not saying people are wrong for being concerned, but...being that it’s a serious and sensitive issue I guess I want to see it treated with a little more care than just going, “Well, he used the word white in a song so clearly he’s racist” or “he used occult imagery that’s since been tainted by Nazi use so let’s rule out the possibility that he’s misguidedly trying to reclaim these images and instead insist that it means he’s a full blown Nazi because here’s some pictures of witches with pointed hoods and a picture of a church on fire, clearly this can’t have anything to do with his views on religion or interest in the occult, it’s gotta be the Nazi thing and the Nazi thing only and if you say different then you’re a Nazi, too!”. Like is that really helping? Nazis are a legitimate problem right now, we’re dealing with some serious shit and there are people insisting that if you don’t reach to connect these dots that you’re the real problem here. I realize that not all Nazis exist in the spot light, not all Nazis do super obvious Nazi shit, but like...we’re also not going anywhere if we’re going to, forgive me, go on a witch hunt. 

Be skeptical, keep your eyes open, pay attention, watch this EYOT closely and like I said, keep trying to push this point with him if you can and hopefully we’ll get some answers or going forward he’ll start using symbols that haven’t been tainted in his designs instead. But digging into lyrics and taking shit that’s honestly likely about failed relationships and straight edge culture and twisting it to fit a certain narrative isn’t really helping anything. You can still be 100% on your fuckin’ guard about this shit without having to reach 

By all means, if I end up being wrong you can come rub it in my face and tell me how badly I have fucked up and how wrong and stupid I am, but I honestly, i feel like people are jumping to conclusions here and I’m not saying there’s no basis for it whatsoever, because there is unfortunately, and I understand the mindset of “no fucking excuses” and that’s fine, but like...these arguments are just not that good, my dudes. Beyond the already established problematic use of symbols in EYOT the rest of this is relying on taking things out of context and finding a way to apply it to this particular situation and it may in all actuality be completely valid and I’m just too blind to see that right now, but I just...yeah, I can’t get on this particular outrage train 

From what I’ve seen from this band so far is that even though some of its members are a little extreme in their edge life shit that overall they’ve been on the progressive side of things and before you say anything like I get it, there are people who are fairly liberal and supposedly open-minded who are still racist sacks of shit and I understand that, I’m just saying it’s something else to keep in mind 

We need to be aware of who the enemies are, for goddamn sure, but I think it’s also important that we don’t make enemies out of people who might not actually be enemies. 

Do your own research. Look into these symbols, see what their origins are and what the other meanings consist of. Think about shit for yourself, not just what someone else is telling you to think. You can take everything I’ve said and throw it out the goddamn window if you don’t agree and that’s fine because I don’t want someone to just mindlessly read what I’m saying and go, “Yep, that sounds good, I’m gonna believe that now!” 

I think people mean well and I think you’re trying to do the right thing, I do, but I see a loooooot of people who just let someone else dictate to them what is and isn’t good and bad. Someone posts an argument and it sounds convincing and suddenly everyone’s on board with that, they’re fully behind it, but someone poses a counter argument that’s just as convincing and suddenly there’s some doubt there, there’s some uncertainty and people are reevaluating their feelings 

I know it’s tempting to sit back and let someone else do your thinking for you, I fall prey to this as well, but I implore you to really take a step back here and reassess and if you feel the same way then that’s totally fine, I won’t hold it against you, but I just...I really feel like this is verging on fear-mongering and I can’t get behind it