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#its been yeeears since i got my dissociation diagnosis in the clinic but i still have trouble believing it
halinski
·
1 year
Text
.
#its been yeeears since i got my dissociation diagnosis in the clinic but i still have trouble believing it
#and im always like am i really dissociating
#bc im never like fully gone
#but like lately ive been shutting my fingers in a lot of drawers and doors
#and bumping into corners and hitting my head bc im not aware of where my body ends
#and i cant remember words or colleagues names that ive worked with for years
#i cant do math
#i cant feel
#(i keep being cold tho i think thats also extra bc of my digestive issues with the iron deficiency)
#and like today i tested with my spiky ball
#and... i had an indentation from thw spikes for like 5 mins and now have red spots for the past almost 20 minutes
#and i never felt a thing
#my skin reacted to the ball pressing into thw skin but i can barely feel the spikes at all
#even tho i logically know i should feel them sharp and slightly painful
#but i cant
#and thats not good
#and i cant get myself to focus out of the disso at all
#i almost thoight i was gettingg it but thwn i started getting nauseous af and my abdomen was hurting so that might be a reaosn
#but idk
#eithwr wya
#yeah
#im pretty disso
#not enough to be dizzy and like unstable when i walk and all
#but ugh
#i hate it
#ignore me
#dissociation
#mental illness
#borderline
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