#not enough to be dizzy and like unstable when i walk and all

[lukesaprince]

Rich Part 23

Summary: Harry and y/n deal with the aftermath of y/n's panic attack and do some retail therapy to prepare for their trip.

Warning: Smut, public bj & masturbation, exhibitionism, daddy!kink. Mention of panic attacks, Ethan and illegal dealings.

Word count: 10k+

Author's note: This chapter isn't as long as I hoped it would be and I wasn't able to get a lot of the Pleasing scene complete. I haven't been in a good writing space recently and I really want to make sure it's all planned out properly but I wanted to post something in the mean time for you! Enjoyy

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Harry’s stomach was in knots. It had been twisted since the moment he let you walk away from him at his office. His head was in a constant state of nausea and the very thought of you being so far from him had his body aching. Your trip was coming up so quickly, two weeks exactly now and things had taken such a sudden switch he was dizzy. 

He hadn’t seen you for a couple of days, or spoken to you properly either. For anyone else that would be normal. Seeing your partner every day wasn’t a prerequisite to having a happy relationship, but to Harry it was torture. Other than your text message when you got home Wednesday, you hadn’t spoken to him. He sent his usual good morning text Thursday morning and was only met with silence. He worked through his lunch that day so he couldn’t call you like usual, but if that ever happened he expected you to call him first. You never did. 

He tried to call you that night, then again Friday morning but you ignored him both times. He was starting to panic, starting to fear that you were seriously not okay or that he had done something to fuck everything up even if he didn’t realise it. He knew you two could communicate if that was the case, that your relationship was strong enough for you to speak to him if he did something wrong. After everything you two had been through, your foundation was strong. At least Harry believed so. 

But knowing it could be the former option and you could be at home in an unstable mental state was far worse than the possibility of him doing something that warranted you ignoring him. Harry didn’t want to push you, but he also couldn’t handle the unknown. 

He was meant to spend Saturday with you. You were going to meet him in the city to get as much shopping done for your trip as possible then he would spend the night. It was your last free day before locking down for studying and Harry wanted to make it something stress-free and enjoyable to give you a mental break. You only had a couple of free days after your exams before you both flew out so there wasn’t a lot of time to get the key essentials once your semester was over. Mostly you just wanted new clothes and wanted to pick things out for Harry as well. He was happy to oblige. 

But now… he didn’t even know if you two were okay. 

So he decided that he needed to see you. You could turn him away and tell him that you needed space or hated him or preferably that you loved him. Whatever you wanted. Harry didn’t care what you said, as long as he found you alive and okay. 

Early Saturday morning Harry was driving to your place with a bouquet of fresh lilies, a large oat latte and a croissant from your favourite local bakery. He didn’t have your keycard anymore so he couldn’t let himself in… but Harry was creative. It felt a bit reckless and immature actually, calling your best friend to let him in like it was some plot for forgiveness, especially when he was just checking up on you. But Harry didn’t want to risk you coming downstairs and turning away without seeing him or worse, just plain ignoring him.

“Hey, Harry.” Maeve greeted, smiling at the man as she held open the entrance door for him. It was especially cold outside now, so he was quick to rush inside and let the door close before he hugged her quickly as a hello. 

“Hey, Maeve. Thanks for doing this.” 

“It’s fine. You’re lucky I like you.” She teased, bumping his shoulder while they walked towards the elevator. 

Harry was fortunate enough to spend more time with your friends. As were you to spend more time with Niall and Jed. Since Harry was mostly spending time at your place, he had spent time with Maeve and Jay, even Dakari. Usually, it was just your neighbour and coworker, but there was a double date situation where Harry became aware of the ‘older guy’ Maeve was dating. 

Dakari and Harry knew each other through golf and Pleasing. They weren’t exceptionally close, but they got on well enough to treat their beautiful girlfriends to an expensive dinner in the city. Dakari was actually interested in investing in Pleasing, but Harry didn’t particularly like the way he conducted business and would’ve rather owned a third of the club than share a sixth with a man he didn’t want to associate with. Harry was glad for that decision now, since his once silent investment turned into him having a say in business decisions and provided perks that he loved to use. 

He hadn’t really used them since he met you but he hoped one day he would. With you. 

“Yeah, well, I appreciate it… Have you seen her? I haven’t spoken to her since Wednesday and I’m really fucking worried.” Harry admitted, holding the door of the elevator open for Maeve. 

“Yeah, I have.” She nodded, “she told me what happened... It’s pretty fucked up. I hope you’ve dealt with that asshole.”

Harry assumed that meant everything. 

“I have. I mean, I will.” That still didn’t mean he was going to elaborate. The plan he had set in place to deal with Ethan was one for the inner circle only. The original, small, tightly-knit circle. It was illegal after all. To frame a man for stealing $250,000. “Is she okay?”

“She’s okay… I think she just needed space, that’s all. I wouldn’t take it personally, Harry. She loves you.”

“I know and I don’t. Well, I’m trying not to, anyway.”

The rest of the ride was full of polite small talk. Maeve complimented the flowers and the croissant, but Harry didn’t need her approval to know you loved them. He knew you would because he knew everything about you. Everything except how you were feeling right now. 

Harry made sure Maeve went back to her apartment before he knocked on your door. He was nervous, he couldn’t lie, but he was hoping that you two could talk about your panic attack and hopefully end up having a nice day together. He just wanted to hold you and see you smile. 

The door swung open barely ten seconds after Harry knocked and there you were. And you looked… okay. Thank God, you looked okay. He could see the tiredness in your eyes and body by the droop of your shoulders and bags under your eyes. You hadn’t changed out of your plaid pyjamas yet but that was normal. Aside from your clear exhaustion, you looked well. 

“Hi…” Harry breathed, smiling softly. “I wanted to check up on you. You haven’t answered my calls or texts…”

Your eyes softened and it took a moment before you said or did anything. Without saying anything, you pulled him inside by his nice vest and wrapped your arms around his body, pressing yourself against him. He reciprocated the best he could with his hands full and loosely wrapped his arms around your shoulders, breathing out a huge sigh of relief.

There was a flood of instant relief through Harry just at your tight hug. Like a heavy weight dropped from his shoulders the moment you buried your face into the light blue checks of his vest. God was he fucking ecstatic. Just having your body in his arms was euphoric and there was no feeling quite like the comfortable intimacy of a hug. 

“I’m sorry, Harry. I’m so sorry.” 

He could barely understand you with how your face was pressed against him, but he made out the words and was immediately taken aback. 

“What? Baby, why are you sorry?” He soothed, now desperate to free his hands so he could take care of you properly. 

“I didn’t mean to ignore you, I was just…” you sighed and pressed your cheek to him instead, sliding your hands beneath his vest and shirt to feel his warm skin. It was like a clutch for normalcy, a tie to feeling okay again. The last few days had been so murky and unsettling. All you wanted was to feel safe again. Harry never failed to make you feel safe and yet you pushed him away. It wasn’t fair to him and it went against everything you two tried so hard to build. “The panic attack freaked me out and I needed time to sort my feelings out… I shouldn’t have ignored you, H. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t spologise baby, please…” Harry paused, “just-let me put these down, okay? Then we can talk properly?” 

You pulled back and looked up at him, reluctantly releasing him from the hug. It was barely a minute before he was on you again. All he did was set the three items on your little table before he wrapped his arms around you properly and squeezed you tight against his body, rocking you slightly from side to side. You gladly inhaled his masculine scent, finding comfort in the rich, sexiness. It was unfair that he always smelt so good. Even after the gym he still smelt like a sexy, clean wealthy man. 

“You don’t need to apologise, y/n. I know it freaked you out.” Harry soothed, pressing his lips against the crown of your head, “I was just really fucking worried. You scared the hell out of me.”

“I know. I just wasn’t expecting it to happen at all and once it did I just kept thinking and thinking and I was just so angry and exhausted. It was a lot.”  

“I know. Trust me I get it. They can be the most debilitating thing in the entire world…” Harry soothed, pulling back from you. “Do you want to go sit down and talk about it?” 

With a nod, Harry guided you to sit down on your bed with him. It was still unmade, but Harry didn’t care. You took it a step further and crawled back towards your pillows to lie down on it instead before patting the spot beside you so Harry would join you. He shoved his shoes off then shuffled in beside you, adjusting himself so you were cuddled into his chest.

It was all done in comfortable silence and once you were settled in, Harry decided to speak first. 

“They can be traumatic.” Harry murmured, “I spent nearly five hours in the gym after one of my panic attacks.” At his words, you untucked your face from his chest and looked up at him to watch him speak. He smiled down at you, stroking his fingers across your cheek like his words weren’t deeply personal and from a dark period of his life. “I worked my body so hard and wrecked myself because I was trying to deal with my emotions. Or trying not to deal, more like it. I definitely paid for it afterwards but at the time it was the only thing I knew would get my mind off it.”

“I came home Wednesday and cried,” You whispered, watching his eyes sadden. It killed him that he wasn’t there to help you. “Then I went and bought Red Bulls and chips and pulled an all-nighter to finish off an assignment like it was nothing. I was so… I don’t even know how to describe it. I was angry, yeah, but I was also so far out of my head that I just wanted to distract myself.” 

“We all do unhealthy things to cope sometimes, y/n. There’s no one way to deal with things. Pulling an all nighter might not be the best way but you were doing the best you could to cope.”

“It didn’t help.” You frowned, tracing the checks on his vest with your nail.

“I can’t imagine it did.” He chuckled softly, sighing when you didn’t look up at him. “Don’t beat yourself up for it, baby... Maeve told me you spoke to her about it. Did that help?”

So that’s how he got in. You couldn’t really be upset by it. Maeve wouldn’t have done it if you didn’t want to see him. You were just… a bit nervous to make the first move. 

“It did. It was good to rant about it with someone who didn’t really know anyone involved.”

“Do you want to talk to me about it?” 

Harry hoped you would. After hearing nothing for days he just wanted an insight into your head. 

“You don’t have to.” He continued softly, prompting you to look up at him, “I’m happy to just be here with you if that’s what you need.” He cupped your face, stroking your cheek with his thumb, “I would’ve been here when it happened too. I hope you know that. You don’t have to go through these things alone if you don’t want to.”

“I know but I was just so overstimulated I think and… I didn’t want to say anything I regretted,” an unreadable look flashed through Harry’s eyes, like he wasn’t exactly sure how to take what you were saying. You sighed, looking back down at the same quad of checks you had been tracing with your finger during this entire conversation, “I don’t think I ever really processed what happened with Ethan and… your part in it, I guess. There’s been so much going on that I just kept ignoring it and ignoring his existence completely. Seeing him really triggered me and the more I thought about it…” you sighed again, “the more I was angry at you too, not just Ethan.” 

“You were?”

“I know you’ve only done what you thought the right thing to do was. But I just don’t get how you can work with him every day. He hurt me so fucking badly Harry…” you could feel your throat starting to get scratchy and your eyes prickling with tears. The stinging forced you to turn from him and close your eyes momentarily, but it did nothing to conceal how you were feeling. The sight practically broke Harry’s heart. “I don’t get how you can even be in the same building as him. It doesn’t make sense to me.”

“I feel sick every day I have to see him, y/n. I’ve done everything I can to make sure we never cross paths but sometimes it’s inevitable. He was never meant to be on my floor on Wednesday and I never would’ve let him come anywhere near you if I knew.”

“But you still work with him, Harry!” You sat up abruptly, looking down at him. “It doesn’t make sense. He’s getting no consequences for what he put us through. I get you couldn’t go to the police because there was no evidence, I get it. But I need to do something. I need you to do something.”

“I am.” He didn’t want to get frustrated at you, not when you were hurting but he was hurting too. This wasn’t fucking easy for him and if the law meant nothing he would’ve gone after Ethan himself and made sure he never bothered you or anyone else again. But he couldn’t exactly do that, could he? He sat up as well, nudging backwards until his back was against your headboard. “Y/n I’ve been dealing with him at work the last couple of months because I had to for my plan to work. I couldn’t do anything out of the ordinary because I didn’t want to bring any attention to myself, but I have a plan. It’s just one of those things you have to wait for.”

“What is it? This plan?” You crossed your arms over your chest, looking at him expectantly. 

“I can’t tell you.” Harry almost seemed reluctant to say the words, but it wasn’t because he was apprehensive about his decision to keep it a secret from you, it was because he wasn’t sure how you’d react. He didn’t want you to be mad at him, but at the same time he wasn’t going to compromise your safety and your future. 

Because that’s what it came down to. If everything went to shit and you knew even one single detail about it, you were done. 

He wasn’t going to let that happen but he also wasn’t going to sit here and lie and pretend that nothing was going on behind the scenes. That’s something he would’ve done at the beginning of your relationship, but he knew that this was just as much your fight as his and lying wasn’t the right thing to do. He could be honest and keep you safe at the same time. 

“What do you mean? Why?” 

You were immediately jumping to many conclusions, all Harry wanted to settle. He just wasn’t sure how. 

“Because it’s not exactly legal, y/n and while it’s pretty fucking foolproof I can’t risk anything. If the whole thing comes crashing down I don’t want you knowing a single bit of it.”

“But that’s-” 

“You will find out. I promise.” He interrupted, “just not until it’s over. I’m not budging on this.”

As much as you wanted Ethan to pay, you didn’t want it like this. You always knew he covered his tracks well but you hoped that by now there’d be some loose thread. Someone with hard evidence to be able to get him punished and that clearly wasn’t the case. But that didn’t mean you wanted Harry risking everything, either. It was exactly how you felt when you first met Niall and Jed and learnt about how they were blackmailing Ethan into handing over the photos. It was reckless and a huge fucking crime. You prayed that it wasn’t the same plan because nothing on this fucking planet was worth Harry going to jail and you losing him. You couldn’t even bare the thought.

“I don’t want you doing anything illegal Harry. It’s stupid!” Your voice broke in your distress, shooting Harry right in the heart like a goddamn bullet. “I’d rather him get away with everything than have you risk yourself. What if you go to jail or what if it doesn’t work? I can’t… I can’t lose you.” 

“You won’t lose me.” His eyes softened and he reached forward to cup your cheek, “You won’t.” his thumb traced over your cheek and he couldn’t help but kiss you gently before pressing his forehead against yours. “I understand you’re scared, y/n but I have to do this not only for you but for me too… I have no choice but to go down this route because he left nothing for me to work with. Fucking nothing. If there was another way, I would do it. But this is it.” 

“And you can’t tell me?” you whispered, wishing you could pry the whole truth from his mouth. 

“No.” He shook his head, leaning back just a tad so he could see your whole face at once. “But I’ve done all my due diligence, baby, I promise and I’m as far removed from it as I possibly can be. So please, just, let this one go. For now.”

“I’ll try…” you settled on, unable to promise anything more. “How long am I letting this go though? A couple of weeks? A month?” 

Harry sighed and leaned back against your headboard, “I don’t know. Could be while we’re on holiday, could be in a couple months. When I know, you know.”

“And in the meantime you’re just going to keep working with him? That doesn’t seem fair” You didn’t particularly like that idea. If it were up to you, you wouldn’t want him stepping foot into that office again while that asshole was walking around free and triggering panic attacks left right and centre. 

“Well…” His lip quirked up in a smile, “I was hoping we’d enjoy our holiday together and then who knows… maybe I won’t go back to work once we’re home. I haven’t decided yet but I’ve wanted to do something different for a while now. Just not sure what.” 

“I didn't know you were thinking of changing jobs.”

He shrugged, tracing random patterns on your back through your pyjama shirt. “I haven’t been planning anything per say, but I’m a bit bored. Seeing that asshole around doesn’t make it any easier. It doesn’t seem worth it anymore, not when I can do anything else and be happier for it.”

“A career change at your ripe age? That’s ballsy.” You mused, squealing and jumping slightly when he pinched your ass. 

“Well I haven’t decided anything yet, just considering my options. At my ripe age I’ve done quite well for myself so I wouldn’t mind a bit of time off. Maybe be a stay at home boyfriend while you study your pretty little ass off in your final semester.” He reached up to fiddle with the ends of your hair, twirling a strand around his finger.

“A stay at home boyfriend?” You scoffed, laughing loudly. “Stop.”

“What?” He laughed, amusement laced in his widened eyes, “we’ve got a son and two households to run, someone has to be around to cook and take care of the place.”

A son. There was something so heartwarming about Archie being referred to as your son, especially when Harry was being so casual about it. Like it was normal. Put the son reference and conjoining your two houses as one and well… that was about as committed as you could be without moving in together. Not that you were anywhere near that stage yet. 

“One of those households has a maid, a gardener and a dog walker, I’m sure it’s just fine.” You rolled your eyes, “But if you want to take care of this place and feed me I won’t complain.” 

“I’d be more than happy to feed you and fulfill any other needs you have.” He announced proudly, squeezing your hip before reaching in to peck you quickly. “Which reminds me-” he got out of bed, going to your table where your coffee and sweet treat were still waiting for you. “I got you these.” You shuffled up into a cross legged position, happily grabbing the two items when Harry sat back down on your bed. 

“Thank you.” You sipped your drink, loving the sweet taste of it. “And thank you for driving all the way down here. It means a lot.” You tore open the paper bag, ripping off a small piece of the croissant and offering it to Harry. 

“No no. It’s yours.” He declined, happy when you didn’t argue and at the piece. “And you don’t need to thank me. I love you, y/n and I wanted to see you. I always do” He smiled, tucking your hair behind your ear. 

“I love you too.” You pressed your hand on his knee and reached in to kiss him quickly, loving the way his hand returned to your back to trace random shapes over it. “I love this by the way. I never thought I’d find a vest sexy but you look really good.” You traced over the v-neck of his checkered vest with your clean hand, looking up at him. You really missed him. 

“Thanks darling. It’s vintage.” He smirked, wrapping his arm around your hip to drag you back to sit properly beside him. You felt a little dirty compared to him in his nice outfit, especially since you had been wearing the same clothes for days and desperately needed to wash your hair. Harry didn’t seem to care though and you really appreciated that. Washing your hair was a mission by itself. Add a panic attack and assignment stress and you couldn’t think of anything worse, even if the thought of a long hot shower did sound quite nice. 

“I like it.” You took a big bite of your croissant this time, moaning at the taste of the chocolate filling. You slumped against Harry, happily chewing it while he rubbed your hip and kissed your head. 

“Good?” He mused, sliding his hand just underneath your pyjama top to feel your soft skin. 

“So good.” You nodded enthusiastically. 

“I’m glad.” He laughed. A comfortable silence fell over you two, with small comments and conversation here and there. It was nice to just spend time with Harry, even if you weren’t doing much of anything. “Would you still be interested in going shopping?”

“Today?” You sat up properly and looked at him, both your coffee and croisssnt long gone and in your stomach. 

“If you’re up for it. We did plan for today but there’s no pressure. I’m more than happy to change into comfortable clothes and watch Netflix all day. Truly.” 

“No no. I could go shopping. We need to get ready for our trip, right?” You grinned, getting excited at the thought of a day walking around the shops and buying so many cute outfits for your trip. Secretly though, you liked the idea of Harry going with you more than the shopping itself. 

“We do. Yes.” He smiled, happy that you had a bit more energy. Harry hated seeing you down. Any emotion except pleasure and happiness had him determined to fix whatever the issue was. “Are you sure you’re okay, though?”

“Yep.” You climbed over him to get out of bed, stopping when you were straddling him. His hands found your hips immediately, unable to keep them off you. “I need to wash my hair though, so can you wait an hour? I’ll try and be quick.”

An hour. By that calculation you were doing your ‘everything shower’ and a full face of makeup. Harry now knew what that meant, but he was happy to sit around and keep himself occupied if that meant you were taking care of yourself. The concept wasn’t as relaxing as he thought it would be. It was more of a frustrating marathon of events where each one presented its own challenge. He made the mistake of wanting to join you for one of them, thinking it would be fun and you ended up kicking him out because you didn’t have enough space to shave the back of your leg. 

If there was one shower he let you have alone, it was that one. 

Harry chuckled and nodded, squeezing your hips then helping you climb the rest of the way off the bed. “Take your time, y/n. We’ve got all day.” 

You managed to get everything done in just over an hour and then you and Harry were on your way to the city. You grabbed another coffee as soon as you made it into the shopping centre, then the shop-to-shop walking began. There were a few items you had on your list that you were aiming to buy, but for the most part you just wanted to try a bunch of stuff on and see what you liked. Harry of course was happy to offer his suggestions and his wallet which only seemed to get him more excited to pick things out for you. 

“I was thinking…”

“Mh?” You hummed, buckling up the buckle on a pair of baby pink suede platform heels. They definitely weren’t Europe-appropriate, but you got a little sidetracked and with Harry encouraging you to try on everything you so much as looked at, it was easy to get distracted by anything that looked pretty.

“After your assignment is submitted Friday, why don’t we pack up your place and you can stay with me until we leave for our trip?”

“Harry I still have to study for two exams. As much as I love that idea, you don’t want me taking over your house.” You responded, standing up from the couch to test the comfort of the shoes. You stepped around them a little, walking to the closest mirror to have a look at them properly. “And I’m sure my parents would hate that I’m spending a week at yours instead of going home.”

“But you weren’t meant to go home at all, remember? Not until your exams were finished.” Harry coaxed, standing up from the couch to step behind you in the mirror and wrap his arms around your waist. You shivered slightly against him, still focusing on looking at the heels on your feet. “This time you’re close to home, close to Archie…” He hummed, sliding his nose up the side of your neck. This time you really shivered and your focus was taken completely away from your shoes. Not that you were thinking of buying them anyway. They were way too expensive but the allure of trying on Prada shoes alongside a man who already put aside a pair of sunglasses and a belt for himself was way too strong. “Close to me…” this time his lips brushed against your skin, leaving a trail right underneath your ear. 

Your breath hitched ever so slightly, making Harry smirk at you in the mirror. Oh he had you now. Your body was becoming more pliant in his arms and you were leaning against him more and more with every passing second. 

“You could study during the day and have Archie keep you company then at night I could feed you and help you… relax,” his hand flattened against your belly, causing the bold rings on his fingers to twinkle in the lighting. You had a sudden craving for those fingers to be in your mouth or further down south where he actually could make you relax. 

“I’ll be studying all the time, Harry.” You weren’t sure why you were protesting it so much, not when the thought of a quick orgasm as your 15-minute study break sounded so delicious. 

“And I’ll be right there beside you, working or reading or providing you with a quick… study break. Whatever you need, hm.” He drawled, kissing your cheek. All you could do was nod because you were so fucking dazed and way too horny in the middle of a store you couldn’t afford. “Do you like the shoes?”

“What?” 

You didn’t even hear what he said.

“The shoes.” He tapped your belly, looking down at your feet. “Are they comfortable?”

“Oh…” You tried to snap out of it and stepped a little in place, feeling the shoes mould perfectly to your feet. God, why did you have to love something so expensive? “Yeah, they’re comfy but I don’t need them.”

“Nonsense. They’re baby pink, your favourite colour.” Harry grinned, pulling back to step in front of you instead. The fact that he called it ‘baby pink’ and not ‘light pink’ had you screaming on the inside. He grabbed onto one of your hands, holding it out between you. “Do a spin.”

You did as told and did a 360 spin for him, liking how your heights were a bit more even with the tall heel. Without saying anything more to you, he turned to the sales associate who was waiting patiently beside the couch Harry was just sitting on. “Do you have a matching bag to these? In a baby pink?”

“Yes, sir. We have a cross body and a shoulder bag.”

“Perfect. Bring them both, please.” Harry turned back to you, then suddenly whipped his head around to the woman before she could step away, “Oh, and please bring some sunglasses too. Anything you think might suit her. Thanks, love.”

“Harry, what are you doing?” You hissed, “I’m not buying anything.”

“No, I am. I like you in pink. Besides, isn’t a shoulder bag and sunglasses a necessity for a holiday?” He mused, squeezing your hips. “Let me spoil you, darling. For doing so well on your exams.”

“I haven’t even done them yet.” You blushed, protesting slightly while threading your fingers behind his neck. “You don’t have to buy me such expensive things, H. You’ve already gotten me so much today.”

“And? You deserve it.” Harry assured you, reaching forward to kiss you gently. The lipstick you applied before you left was almost gone by now. Harry could barely keep his hands off you and you didn’t really want him to. These quick, casual pecks and signs of affection meant so much more to you than anything he could buy. 

“Thank you.” You whispered, threading your fingers softly into the hair at the nape of his neck to kiss him again. “Really. Thank you.”

“You’re more than welcome, baby.” He kissed you again and then sealed it with another quick peck before using his grip on your hips to turn you back towards the mirror. “Now tell me you don’t love the shoes. I know you can’t.”

It was store after store of shopping. You tried to keep things concise to the list you brought of things you wanted to get, but just like the Prada shoes… and bag… and sunglasses, you were both easily distracted. You had more fun dressing Harry up more than anything. Seeing him try on complete outfits you picked out for him just hit the spot for you. You loved it.

And it had nothing to do with him looking absolutely delicious in every fucking thing. You picked out a bit of a joke outfit in one of the ‘younger’ stores as Harry liked to call it, styling him in something more skater boy than his usual refined, delicious European style and he still looked hot as anything. 

Harry hated it of course, but he did like the graphic t-shirt and managed to style it in his own way with the pair of dress pants he had on. God, he was just so fucking hot. By the third men's store you brought him into, you were sweating. You couldn’t explain why it was such a turn-on to watch him open and close a curtain and show off different outfits or why a linen button-up much like everything else he has riled you up until you were clenching your thighs, but it just did. 

You finally truly understood why he liked buying you things so much. 

“Alright, last one then I need food. It’s practically dinner time and there’s a sushi train near here. I could demolish like twenty of those little plates.” Harry chuckled to himself and opened the door of the fitting room he was in. Upon revealing himself, your mouth properly dropped. 

It was another button-up style top but this time it was entirely made out of white crochet squares. The design was fine and perfect beyond perfect and had so many little holes throughout the design, that you could see slivers of skin everywhere. Then there was the obvious sliver of skin. The top three undone buttons that Harry had purposefully left open to expose his cross necklace and littered chest hairs. The tails of his swallows were peaking past the edges and with particular movements, the moth became more visible.

Jesus fucking Christ. 

“Not sure about this one, love. ‘Dunno why.” Harry ran his hands down the fabric, looking at his shirt until he realised you hadn’t said anything. “Y/n?” 

Seeing the look at your face, Harry could see exactly what your opinion was on his shirt. 

“I love it.” You finally said, walking towards him so you could feel the soft lace across his chest. He smirked and placed his hands on your waist. “It’s soft.”

Just the feeling of the soft lace against his warm body was driving you crazy. His body heat was radiating against your hands and you suddenly craved it against your body. All this talk about ‘study breaks’ and being in the same house as him for an entire week had your head in a spin. You couldn’t stop thinking about having constant sex and how tempting it would be to have so much privacy for so long.

And this was before you two were going to have an entire month together. God, the thought of that… your vagina would never be the same, you knew that for sure.

“Mh. Comfy too.” He commented, shivering when you dug your nails through the lace holes to scratch at his chest. “So y’like it?” Harry’s head cocked a little as the attraction in your eyes quickly started to reflect in his own. 

“Uhuh.”

You peeked around quickly to make sure you were alone and when the coast was clear you made the quick decision to walk him backwards back into the fitting room. Harry was happy to follow along with you, barely being able to ask what you were doing before you locked the door behind you and grabbed onto his face to kiss him.

Harry squeezed your waist and chuckled into your mouth, sighing softly against your lips while he kissed back. His arms started to wrap tightly around you and he was trying so hard to not moan at how eager you were pressing yourself against him and nibbling on his lip and tugging on his hair and fucking hell he was going dizzy. 

You weren’t one to start things like this and Harry was enjoying every fucking moment.

“What are you doing, darling? Hm?” Harry mused, eyes fluttering shut as you tugged his head back by his hair to gain easier access to his neck. His fingers dug deeper into the small of your back in an attempt to ground himself. He had to be quiet.

“I need your cock in my mouth,” You whispered against his skin while sliding your hand down his chest towards his dress pants. Harry tensed immediately beneath you, nearly groaning loudly when your hand landed on his cock. “Please, Daddy.” 

You started to palm over his half-hard cock which was very quickly hardening properly beneath your hand. Harry’s head tipped back against the wall and his jaw went slack. He could barely fucking believe what was happening right now.

What you were doing was reckless. Inappropriate and very much illegal. Giving head on a yacht in the open ocean didn’t exactly compare to giving head in a small enclosed fitting room where there were many more people around and any small noise would give you away.

To be honest though, you didn’t really give a fuck. You could tell Harry liked that.

You pulled back from his skin and made eye contact with him while squeezing him through his pants hard enough to make his eyes flutter. Reaching forward, you kissed him softly and spoke through soft kisses until he verbally agreed to have you on your knees before him. “Let me say thank you… please… I need it so bad, Daddy.”

Harry breathed heavily against your mouth and threaded his fingers through the hair at the nape of your neck to tighten them in an almost warning way. “You’ve got to be quick, y/n. Unless you want to be caught.”

Something told you Harry wouldn’t have any issues being caught with his cock in your mouth. 

With a quick nod from Harry, you began the descent onto your knees. But before they even bent, he stopped you. “Wait.” He murmured, grabbing his expensive vest that was hanging on the back of the door and then folding it in half so it was thicker. “For your knees.” 

“I thought you liked it when they bruised.” You grinned, taking the vest nonetheless and putting it on the carpet in front of his feet. You slowly got down on your knees, looking back at the lock for a second just to double-check it was actually locked. It was thrilling to be in such a compromising position, but that didn’t mean you actually wanted someone to walk in on you two. 

“Only when I can take care of you after.” Harry sighed, the sight of you before him enough to make him breathless. He tried to relax against the wall separating your fitting room from the one next door. It thankfully went floor to ceiling, so you hoped that would muffle most of the noise. As much as you could try to keep quiet, Harry was quite terrible at it and it was hard to give a proper satisfying blowjob without making some sort of noise. 

Hopefully, the store’s music would cover it.

“You always take care of me. Now it’s my turn.” You looked up at him with a smile, sliding your hands over his thighs. He looked down at you, sliding his hand through your hair to push it back from your face so he could watch your facial expressions and every move you made. 

“You look so hot in this” You complimented, pushing his button-up top up his stomach to expose his belly button and below. “You better buy it.” you leaned forward and licked a stripe from the button of his pants to his belly button, making sure to do it once more while you undid his pants. 

“I will…” Harry assured, sighing out like a pretty angel just at the feeling of your mouth on his lower belly. “You like it so I have to buy it.”

“Mhmm. Y’gonna look so good, Daddy…” 

Harry’s pants easily fell to his ankles once the button came undone. They were straight-legged and with his tight briefs pressing his cock down, they slid right down. Of course, the briefs didn’t last very long either and they soon joined Harry’s pants at his ankles.

You had no time to tease or kiss every inch of exposed skin like you wanted to. This had to be quick which was a shame when he looked so fucking hot standing there naked aside from the pretty lace button-up you wanted to keep on him. It was like sexy lingerie and it messed with your head much more than you would’ve liked. 

“I only look good for you, darling. You’re the only one I want to… shit…” 

Harry couldn’t even finish his words, not when you spat on your hand, wrapped it around him and brought him to your mouth without any fucking warning. You jerked him slowly with your hand, focusing on the base while you slid his head against your tongue. His hips bucked against your mouth at the feeling, causing you to choke a little on his cock and force yourself to pull back from him. 

“You’ve got to relax.” You licked your tongue slowly against his slit, savouring the taste of his precum. You made a show of it too and closed your eyes to hum gently once it collected on your tongue. “As much as I love choking on your cock, it’s too loud.” 

You were almost scolding him, reprimanding him for not being good and staying pressed against the wall. It was reminiscent of the first time you figured out you loved him, not that Harry knew it like that. Harry remembered the first shower blowjob he got from you as a bold move, not the craving for control that you desperately wanted at the time.

Now… you’d give up any and all control to Harry, knowing that you were really the one in charge. That’s how you two worked. You both had your limits and while Harry hadn’t really pushed them to the limits very often, he had the power to do so because you gave it to him.

And how he was putty in your hands. 

“Don’t think I won’t get you back for this…” he shuddered, fisting your hair tighter when you brought him back into your mouth, wrapping your lips around him perfectly. All you did was smile around his cock while pressing the vein underneath his length back and forth on your tongue. 

You were looking forward to the payback. 

The longer you had him in your mouth, the less you started to care about how loud you were being. Harry was doing well to keep still, albeit practically trembling against you, but his hands were tugging on your hair roughly and he couldn’t stop the string of curses in place of loud moans he wanted make for you. 

There was just nothing like the sound of male pleasure. Deep, guttural groans and whimpers, hushed lines of praise and degradation and pleads of your name. A loud curse when you clenched around him or a whimpered one when you swallowed around him like you were doing now. 

Your hand was still wrapped around his base, fingers reached further back to press against his frenulum and apply pressure to his balls at the same time. You kept moving your mouth quickly and sloppily over his tip, swirling your tongue around his head where he was most sensitive.

“Jesus fucking Christ, y/n. God… your mouth.” 

It was borderline blasphemy the way he used God’s name. The way he cursed and moaned it out because you were giving him one of the most insane blowjobs of his entire life. There was pleasure in all types of blowjob, but there was nothing quite toe-curling like having his tip sucked and flicked at so fucking harshly. Harry almost felt like he needed to squeal like a little girl.

And you were eating it up. Literally. 

Sucking Harry off just turned you on to level 100. There was something about the shape of his cock… the weight of it on your tongue… his scent and soft skin, the way he was so incredibly hard for you and yet so sensitive and dainty at the same time. All of it. Add the dirty talk and the hair pulling and his nails scratching at your head like he wanted to force your head closer so you’d choke on him and you were practically a puddle in your jeans.

You wanted to touch yourself. To just dip your fingers in your underwear and touch the pain away. Just a little.

“Can I touch myself, Daddy? I’ll be quick, I promise.” You whispered, pulling off him to speak and catch your breath while you continued jerking him off. 

Even on your knees with all the power in this situation, you still asked permission to touch yourself. Harry had to force his mind elsewhere to not prematurely cum all over your nice outfit. 

“Do it. Make yourself cum f’me, baby. You’ve been sucking me so fucking good.” He praised, rubbing his thumb over your messy mouth. Your once perfect lipliner was all smudged now, leaving behind your pretty swollen lips for Harry to trace. He had a sudden craving to kiss you silly, but with your manicured fingers wrapped around him, his cock’s craving was stronger. Hungrier. 

You nodded, bringing his cock to your mouth and bopping against it while you undid your jeans so you could slide your hand into your underwear. It was like instant relief the moment your fingers met your clit. You were soaked and slippery and so fucking horny you knew it wouldn’t take long for you to finish yourself off. 

Harry was close too. You could tell by his heavier breathing and the slight twitching in his cock. You kept your lips wrapped around his tip and focused your attention there while you used one hand on his balls and the other to touch yourself. 

The closer both of you got to finishing, the louder your noises became. You tried so hard to hide it, to keep your noises reduced to a sigh especially when you could hear people talking all around you, but it was pretty damn hard. Your one saving grace was the music echoing through the speakers, but you were getting so lost in the pleasure you didn’t know or care whether it was loud enough to cover what you two were doing.

“Shit, y/n. ‘M close. ‘M getting so close…” 

Keeping your lips wrapped around him, you took his warning as a sign to jerk him faster and time your own circles on your clit with every movement you made on his cock. And it wasn’t long after his warning when you felt his whole body tremble against you. His thighs tensed and his abs clenched, his fingers stilled in your hair.

Harry had to bite down on his own fist to try and muffle the noise he let out when he finally came in your mouth, letting ribbons and ribbons of cum fill your throat until you had to swallow to make more room. He wanted to watch you take all of it and make yourself finish, but he could barely stand up straight let alone keep his eyes open to see the way you shook and squeezed your eyes shut when your own orgasm rushed over you. 

When he nudged your head away due to sensitivity, you both seemed to collapse in your own positions to try and calm down from your highs. Your head tilted against his thigh and you just sat there for a moment collecting yourself before deciding to redress Harry. You two had been in the dressing room for way too long now and the post-orgasm clarity was starting to make you freak out about what you had just done.

You only got his button done up before Harry was picking you up off the floor and drawing you in for a heated kiss.

“God I fucking love you.” He murmured, kissing you over and over again while you giggled into his mouth. “Thank you.”

“Thank you.” You smiled, poking his chest. “We should do that again sometime.” You breathed through a laugh while zipping up his pants for him. You were a little in disbelief at what just happened. 

“We should,” Harry smirked, reaching between you to zip up your jeans and do the button for you. “Though next time it’ll be you trying to keep quiet and we both know you have a harder time keeping your noises to yourself.”

“That’s so not true!” you scoffed, turning to the mirror so you could fix your hair. “I can keep completely silent thank you very much,” you couldn’t, not when you were with Harry anyway. 

“You’re such a liar.” He laughed, shaking his head while taking the lace shirt off so he could put his own clothes back on. You watched him through the mirror, still overly horny and unsatisfied. Seeing his bare chest just made you want his cock in your mouth again. Or better and far more satisfying, inside you. “I can very easily prove you wrong though, I hope you know that.” 

“Whatever.” You rolled your eyes and then without any warning felt Harry press his chest into your back while he wrapped his hand around your neck. Your eyes widened and you felt your head go dizzy when he applied pressure just in the right spots. 

“I’ve been very generous to you today, baby, and while having my cock in y’mouth is a very nice thank you, I don’t think it warrants attitude, does it?” he murmured, making eye contact with you in the mirror while running his nose up the length of your neck. 

Fuck me. 

God, you wished he would. 

You swallowed thickly, a little overwhelmed at how dominant he became in a flash. You had almost forgotten what it was like to have him so in control and so powerful. Since you got together he had been so soft and loving. The parts of him that would correct you and reprimand you when you broke eye contact or showed a hint of attitude had significantly softened. They hadn’t disappeared altogether, your sex and your life together was still playful and Harry was most definitely in charge, but with your lives being so busy and having so many things to work through, it was clear to both of you that things had changed. 

You just hadn’t really spoken about it. 

But you didn’t want to forget. You didn’t want Harry to think that he couldn’t push boundaries anymore or be rough with you just because you two were in a relationship. In the beginning you knew he didn’t want to overstep because things were so emotionally raw still, but now that things were good between you two… 

You put it down to not having time, which was a big part of the problem. Still, you missed it.

“N-no…” You breathed, sliding your hand to cover the one he had around your neck, “No, it doesn’t.”

“Exactly. So?” He prompted with a raised brow, caressing his fingers up and down the sides of your neck with little pressure. 

“‘M sorry, Daddy.” 

The title slipped out easily, naturally. It was never going to be part of your lives 24/7 because that wasn’t your dynamic, but you two were clearly still playing and you were still in the high of sucking him off. It was just so easy to let go of all thoughts and issues when he took control like this. 

“Good girl, angel.” He smiled, manoeuvring your face to the side so he could kiss you and look at you directly. You savoured the kiss, craving that closeness even when he pulled away to run his thumb over your lips. “Are you still hungry?”

You nodded. “Very.”

“Good.” His eyes softened and he couldn’t resist kissing you again. “Wait outside then, okay? I’ll get dressed then we’ll drop our bags to the car and go get dinner.” 

“Okay.” You nodded again, wanting nothing more than to just cling to him and never let you go. Still, you did what he asked and cautiously slipped out of the room, thankful that the one person standing out there paid no attention to you or even Harry when he exited his fitting room a minute later.

It was decided during your dinner together that you’d go back with Harry to his house. After spending such a nice day together, you didn’t really want to go home. You knew you should’ve, especially since you still had one assignment to go before you could focus on studying for your exams, but you knew that you wouldn’t get anything done after the week you’ve had whether you were with Harry or without him.

And you’d much rather be with him. 

When you got to his home, you wanted to try everything on again just to make sure you liked what you got in case you changed your mind. Fitting room mirrors can give you the best or worst confidence in the world and you always need to see things in your own house (or Harry’s in this case) to make a final decision. While Harry didn’t quite understand your logic, he was happy to sit in his nice armchair and watch you try everything on for him. 

Harry found it quite adorable the way you analysed yourself. The look of concentration and slight furrow in your brow as you observed yourself from every angle. Harry liked everything on you of course, but he quickly learnt you still needed to hear it from him at least three times before you believed it. 

“Okay, last one.” You declared, emerging from his walk-in closet where you just looked at the dress for a solid three minutes before wanting Harry’s opinion. 

“It’s gorgeous. I love the colour on you.” Harry beamed, fingers laced together with his elbows resting on his parted knees. He scanned your body, thinking that this one was possibly his favourite dress of the day. “Makes your bum look great.”

“Stop.” You scoffed, laughing while looking back in the mirror. You were able to see it from the doorway of his walk-in robe, which was handy. “Seriously, though. You don’t think it washes me out?”

“No. I think it suits you perfectly. It’s different from other dresses you have too.” 

You didn’t quite understand how Harry had the patience to sit through a haul like this. Your dad never did, even when you forced him to at least pretend to be interested and yet Harry acted like every outfit was the newest, greatest thing he had ever seen. If it were even possible, you loved him more for it. 

“That’s what I was thinking. I wanted a few things that are a bit more unique, y’know? Even though I’ll probably end up wearing the same things all the time anyway.” You laughed to yourself, eyes focused on the dress. You tilted your body side to side, watching how the fabric flowed around you. “So you definitely like it?”

Barely a minute after his second assurance and you needed another. Harry would happily tell you how beautiful you are a million times if that made you happy. 

“Yes.” Harry nodded, “1000%”

“1000% huh?” You grinned at him. He nodded with an equally happy smile. “Okay then. I’m satisfied with my purchases now and I feel justified.” You announced it like you were proud of the outcome, even though you didn’t buy a single item of anything that you tried on for Harry. He fucking loved it though. If you ordered him to buy you a new car or a $20,000 bag he’d do so in a heartbeat then need to fuck you because of how much it turned him on.

“Good.” Harry laughed, sitting back in his chair. “C’mere, baby.” He motioned you over to him, letting you step between his parted before he wrapped his arms around your hips. You smiled down at him, slinging your arms around his neck.

“Hi.” 

“Hi.” He smiled, hugging you closer to him. “Are you feeling better after this morning?”

Your smile faltered and suddenly the happiness you got from your little shopping spree disappeared into thin air. It was nothing but a quick distraction, easily ruined by a reality check. You couldn’t blame Harry though. All he did was check in on you.

You nodded and started twirling the hair at the nape of his neck around your fingers. “Yeah… it was nice to have the distraction. There’s just been so much shit going on at the moment and I feel like I haven’t breathed properly for weeks. I just want to have a clear head for once, y’know? Just not think about anything.” you sighed, looking down for a moment.

“I can help with that,” Harry said softly, tilting your head up with his index finger so you were forced to look at him. “You know that right, y/n? I can give you anything you want…” his voice dropped an octave and you were instantly aware that he wasn’t offering a listening ear. Your breath hitched and your body completely tensed up in his arms, “...anything you need.” 

“I know…” you whispered, unable to look anywhere except right into his darkening gaze.

“So let me…” he urged, “Do you want me to clear your head for you?...” he scanned your face, sliding the tip of his index finger from your chin down to trace along your neck. It was a trail of fire. Just the path of his fingertip was making you need to claw out of your own skin and he had barely touched you. It felt like he hadn’t properly touched you for weeks. “To take away all your stress and your thoughts… let you be completely relaxed?”

You were practically trembling in his touch. One hand was squeezing your waist and the other was trailing patterns over your neck and your collarbones, down to the modest neckline of your dress. You were dying. 

“I can take full control if you want me to, y/n. You just have to say the word.” He flattened his palm against your neck, making you flutter your eyes closed as he enclosed his hand around it. He applied no pressure, just a loose hold to show you what he could do to you. For you. “I can be Harry or Daddy… whatever you need. Anything you need.”

The way his mouth moved at the two clear syllables of ‘Daddy’ had you sweating. He was giving you every choice, every option so that he knew exactly what you needed and wanted. So that he could take the reigns and let you sink into your submissive bliss. 

You needed that more than anything else in the entire world.

“I…” your words faltered, even as you forced yourself to look at him. “I need you, Daddy. Please.”

Harry nodded, scanning your face once more as the side of his mouth lifted ever so slightly in the softest smile he could muster. “I love you and I’m so proud of you for everything you’re achieving, y/n. It takes a lot of strength and endurance to be as strong as you have been.” Now it was your heart that was trembling. “Now let me do it for you. You’re gonna be a good girl for me, aren’t you, darling?”

“Yes-yes, thank you.” You nodded eagerly, wanting to sink into his arms so he could take the weight off your feet for you. If he could walk for you, you would’ve let him. 

“Good. I want to take you back to Pleasing.”

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[berryhobii]

7 Different Sheets (BTS OT7 x Reader)

Pairing: NonIdol!BTS x black!female reader

Word Count: 3,897

Warnings: Smut(18+ but I don’t control what you consume), multiple partners, unprotected s*x(please be safe and speak with your partners before doing this), public s*x, spanking, oral(m and f receiving), doggy style, missionary, riding, mentions of a mating press, reader does a split on someone’s 🍆🫣, intimate s*x, car s*x, múltiple orgasms(m and f receiving), mentions of STD testing, mentions of being arrested, weed smoking(reader is alluded to have smoked but it’s not explicitly mentioned), overstimulation, praise, degradation, choking, gagging, panty in mouth stuffing, restraints(wrists), mentions of a break up, i also might have gotten the tiniest bit carried away with Namjoon’s part hehe, he definitely has me in a chokehold

A/N: Hi there! I’m here with my take on Seven by Jungkook ft Latto! I’m pretty sure someone requested something like this but now I can’t find the ask so hopefully they see this! I decided to include all of the boys in this. I absolutely love Latto and her verse in the song was just so good! And how could I not write gratuitous fuck buddy smut? I’m always open to criticism and please feel free to tell me what you think. Thanks so much. Stay safe💜

~

You had 7 fuck buddies.

Each of them were entirely different. Different jobs, different styles, different ways they liked to fuck you.

Just how did you fit all of them into your schedule?

Mondays were for Jimin.

You met him while out shopping with your friends. He worked at a luxury jewelry store. While your friends were busy staring at different charm bracelets, your eyes were focused on the rings on his hands—the way he twisted them whenever he was waiting for a customer to make a decision, how they glimmered under the bright lights, and especially how they’d look wrapped around your throat. Would they leave marks? Would he finger you with them on? Would your ass sting whenever he laid a harsh smack on it? So many thoughts yet so little answers.

“Does that feel good, my pretty slut?”

No words were in your head, your mouth stuffed with the panties he had ripped off of you. All you could get out were muffled moans and muffled calls of his name. Salvia soaked the material as much as your arousal did when you walked in his job, the fabric heavy on your tongue and slightly choking you which gave you a rush.

A sharp slap landed on your ass, his rings adding a pleasurable burn that made your juicy walls hug him impossibly tighter.

“Fuck.” He groaned out, eyes never leaving how your ass clapped back on him, cock coated in your creamy release. Sweat dripped down your back making your dark skin look like the most decadent chocolate, glistening like the gems displayed in the case below you. But not even those could compare to you when you were bent over like this.

Your hand slammed down on the display case, the sturdy counter shaking under the force.

Your walls spasmed around him, signaling your 5th orgasm since you came to visit him on his break.

His hand that wasn’t holding your hip moved to wrap around your throat, hauling your body up until you were arched. You felt unstable on your feet but Jimin was your rock, holding you up before your knees could give out of you.

He applied medium pressure to your throat, just barely pressing into your windpipe, stealing some of your already sparse oxygen from you. You felt dizzy like you were on a rollercoaster but one that never went down. Only up. And it was climbing and climbing until….

“This neck would look so pretty with a new necklace on it. Don’t you agree?” That low tone was enough to hurdle you right off the edge, eyes rolling back as you shook like a leaf in his hold.

And yes, your neck did look pretty in a new necklace.

~

Tuesdays were for Seokjin.

You met him at a wedding. Your “date” had gotten a little too friendly with the open bar which immediately turned you off. Not that you were that turned on to begin with. The man was nothing to write home about. Just someone who happened to approach you in a coffee shop.

After successfully detaching yourself from him, you were getting ready to leave before you caught the eye of Seokjin. He was tall and broad with a face you’d love to sit on. Respectfully, of course.

Conversation flowed easily between you two. He was a proper gentleman with a goofy laugh that made you smile. He was definitely the type of person your parents would love for you to bring home. Polite and respectful and not bad on the eyes either.

But that gentleman act went out of the window when he got you in his bed.

“Jin! I can’t take it!” You screamed, yanking at the restraints on your wrists that were keeping you stationary. You were surprised you hadn’t broken his headboard from how hard you were jerking. His neighbors were probably tired of the slamming against the wall by now, their own calls for you two to pipe down died down a while ago. Let them call the police. You’d be damned if they put you in cuffs before you got Seokjin’s cock inside of you.

He was nestled between your legs, holding your thighs back to have more access to your cunt. His tongue never stopped its assault on your clit, abusing the bud until your entire body was shaking. Your legs would jerk to try and close with every lick but one firm look from him quickly put you in your place.

His plush lips were soaked with your juices, dark eyes staring at you as if you had just personified from his dreams. You might as well have.

“Your pussy tastes so fucking good. I could eat it all day.” It sure felt like he has been. Your pussy felt both numb and electric at the same time. Sensitivity wanted to push him away but a desperate part of you was pushing you towards another orgasm. “You’ll be a good girl and give me another one, won’t you? You’re always my good girl.”

Fuck yes you were. Fat tears rolled down your face when he dove back in, sucking your clit in between his lips, his tongue flicking over it faster than before. Back arching, you screamed bloody murder as the strongest orgasm of the night engulfed your body.

Placing one more kiss on your throbbing bud, Seokjin backed up to let you breathe, stroking your thighs and whispering sweet nothings to you as you came down. Body still tingling from your release, you could barely blink through your blurry vision before you felt a shift on the bed.

A hand nestled in your sweaty hair, silk press gone to waste. You blinked through your tears, looking up to find Seokjin hovering over you, his knees on either side of your shoulders. His cock stiff and right in your face, the tip leaking precum.

He smirked down at you.

“Open wide, darling.”

~

Wednesdays were dedicated to Hoseok.

Honestly, you met Hoseok on a dating app. He was meant to be a quick one night stand since you were growing tired of your vibrator. After scrolling through a bunch of profiles and responding to a few messages, you came across him. He was a paralegal but apparently, he taught dance classes on the weekends which told you he definitely knew how to move. His photos were a sharp contrast to his job; bright and with him always smiling. He even had a picture of his dog on there which made you smile.

He was cute though and perhaps he’d be a fun night.

The pillow did barely anything to cover your screams, not when there was so much happening at once. You tossed it to the side, allowing your eyes to adjust to the glorious sight above you.

Hoseok’s head was tossed back in ecstasy, lip pulled between his teeth as he needlessly tried to keep quiet. You wanted to hear those noises, the way he cursed whenever you purposefully clenched around him.

“Hmpf, shit.” Just like that.

The pulses of the vibrator in your hand was making your arm numb but it was sending the most delicious vibes through your clit so whatever.

“Hobi…..”You called making him finally open his eyes and tilt his head forward to look down at you. You could have cum right there from how sexy he looked—sweat soaked hair sticking to his forehead, his chest littered in love bites you had obsessively sucked into his skin, and of course, the thin silver chain around his throat that bounced with every thrust. Take the wheel, Carrie Underwood.

He leaned forward, both of his hands moving from your thighs to place next to your head. His hips never faltered, keeping their languid pace rolling into you.

“Yes? What is it?”

“I…..I….can I cum?” Everything was moving so slowly. He had put the vibrator on its lowest setting so it wasn’t doing much for you and with this slow pace, he was prolonging your orgasm further than you wanted it to be. That was the thing about Hoseok. He liked it slow and intimate, going for hours until he brought both of you over the edge.

He pressed a kiss to your forehead, his chain tickling your nose.

“Not yet, my flower. Hold it a little longer for me.”

A particularly deep roll of his hips caused him to stroke slowly past your sweet spot, pulling a whimper from you.

Your bottom lip quivered, eyes tearing up from your waning orgasm. It kept building and falling but it wasn’t enough to push you over. And with everything that happened today, you think this is exactly what you needed.

A gentle touch.

“But….”

He shushed you with a peck to your lips. “Just relax. I’ll take care of you.”

~

Thursday’s were for Namjoon.

You met him at the gym. Don’t get it twisted. You weren’t really there to work out. Those few squats you did every couple of months were enough. That wasn’t the reason you had signed up for a membership.

It was because of the buff and drop dead sexy man that you often saw lifting weights. What exactly was the point of that tank top? Modesty? It looked like it was only soaking up the sweat that dripped down his honey kissed skin but it was failing at that too. Your tongue could do a better job. You’d lick every inch of that man for free and cook him a meal afterwards.

The steam of the shower was making it hard to breathe but Namjoon’s cock was making it even harder. When people told you to breathe through your nose, they factored out the cock being an absolute monster. You thought your jaw was gonna snap off.

Your nails dug into his yummy thighs, feeling the muscles tightened with every push of his cock into your warm and inviting mouth. You were definitely riding these things once you got back to his place.

“Damn, relax your throat, love.”

You happily followed his instructions, swallowing before exhaling through your nose. That allowed him to slide all the way home, your nose tickling the trimmed hairs at the base of his cock. Your eyes watered from the welcomed intrusion.

“Look at me.” He commanded from above you, the low tone of his voice making your pussy clench. Damn. Being a housewife sounded incredibly good right now. Patriarchy be praised.

Your eyelashes fluttered, looking at him and the sight was absolutely glorious. If he didn’t fuck you right now, you’d probably implode.

He must have seen that through your gaze because a dopey smile stretched across his face, adorable dimples indenting his cheeks.

Pulling out of your throat, you coughed and sputtered, swallowing a few times to soothe your sore throat. You barely had time to really cover before he was grabbing your arm and hauling you up. Legs draped over his buff arms, your arms scrambled to wrap around his shoulders. Now this position was the reason why bitches pull up to your mother’s house looking for you. You could feel the head of his cock sliding against your sopping cunt, your walls clenching in delight of finally getting what you want.

“Ready, baby?” He whispered in your ear before sucking on your lobe.

And no, you didn’t renew your gym membership.

~

Fridays were for Taehyung.

Funny enough, you met Taehyung while he was sneaking out of your apartment building. He was leaving a one night stand’s place and bumped into you while you were on your way inside. Of course, you could smell sex a mile away and the walk of shame was heavy on his shoulders. He actually tried hitting on you when he saw you, his eyes never leaving your cleavage.

You thought he was incredibly handsome though—a pretty boy type which you definitely liked. So you stopped him, told him to come back to you with a clean STD test and then you’d talk.

Taehyung had to will himself not to cum when you did a full split on his cock. Your hands kept your leverage on his knees, your head lolled forward from how his long cock was kissing your cervix each time, your legs stretched all the way out to give him the best view of his life.

He’s already cum twice, third orgasm almost painful but he just couldn’t stop. He didn’t want you to stop either(as if you could). You’ve been horny all day and you were going to get your fill of his cock. He knew you needed morning sex to get through the day yet he decided to go in for a shift at work, leaving you sad and desperate. The moment he walked in the door, you grabbed him by the front of his shirt, pushing him on the rug in your living room. You didn’t even prep yourself and he was hard while driving to your place anyway so foreplay was unnecessary today. Maybe you’d ride his face later and you’d use that headband he was wearing as reigns.

Until then, you were going to ride his dick until he gave out. Or until you got tired, whichever came first.

“I’m gonna cum again. Slow down. Please.” He whimpered, eyes stinging with unshed tears.

You whipped your hair behind you, the tips of your braids resting on his stomach. “Hmmm, give it to me, Tae. Fill me up again.” You leaned forward, bringing your hips all the way up to his tip before slamming back down. His cock was creamy with both of your releases, a wet smack sounding everytime you came down.

If this was how he died, put it on his tombstone.

“Oh shiiiiiiii….”His head thumped back against the floor, toes curling as you forced another orgasm out of him, the pulsing of his cock triggering your own.

You barely gave him time to calm down before you started your pace again.

He’d pick up another shift next Friday.

~

Saturdays were for Yoongi.

It was actually your favorite day of the week when you got to see the weed dealer. Not really because he let you smoke for free but because high sex was just another level. You met him when you were out one night. He catcalled you from his car and before you could even give whoever it was a piece of your mind, your voice got caught in your throat.

Your first thought was: man bun. Long hair in a man bun. Sexy ass drug dealer in a BMW with long hair in a man bun. Your parents always told you not to do drugs but how could you heed those warnings when temptation was served to you on a silver platter like that?

You gripped the headrest of the backseat, your breasts currently under attack by Yoongi’s expert tongue. The same tongue that had just ate you out like a champion a few minutes ago.

He pulled off your breast with a pop, delivering a smack to your ass with the hand that wasn’t holding his blunt. “Faster. I didn’t tell you to slow down.” His cat like eyes were hooded and glazed over from both the weed and the feeling of your tight walls hugging his cock. For a second, he didn’t even think he was high on weed—he was high on you. You were like an addiction; savory and hard to avoid, you were like a forbidden fruit. One he’d sink his teeth into everytime.

He brought his blunt back to his lips, inhaling a deep pull, holding the smoke in before blowing it back into your face. Just that action had you cumming on his cock, the feeling vibrating all the way to your toes. When he felt a splash against his pelvis, he dropped his head to look down at where you were connected. You were still bouncing on his cock, prolonging your orgasm and with each bounce, a small spray of liquid squirted from you.

He tossed his own head back, making sure to put his blunt in the ashtray on the door to prevent any burns to his upholstery before grabbing both of your ass cheeks in his hands and beginning to piston up into your spasming cunt.

“Bout to fill this pussy up. You want it?” He grunted against your collarbone, sinking his teeth into the skin there.

He had knocked all of your words loose so all you could manage was a frantic nod of your head and a drawn out, “yessssss yessssss pleaseeeeee”.

“This pussy is so fucking good.” He landed a slap on your ass, the sting sending shocks of pleasure up your back as another orgasm crashed into you.

You were so absorbed that you didn’t even hear the police sirens as they pulled up next to you.

Wow. You thought you were just imagining the car rocking. Guess not.

~

The end of the week meant only one thing.

You had deep cleaned your apartment, moving slowly since your body still ached a little from sleeping on that bench at the station. Good thing Yoongi had connections that could bail both of you out. Still, you’d probably risk it again if it meant getting fucked like that.

You had just lit a candle and you were about to sit down to have a glass of wine but you were interrupted by the sound of your doorbell ringing.

“Ughhhhhh.” You groaned, placing your wine glass on a coaster before hauling yourself up less than gracefully and shuffling to the door. You didn’t even look at the screen on your intercom, just opening it and immediately trying to close it back after seeing who was on the other side.

A foot jammed itself between the door, stopping you from shutting it completely.

“Baby, come on. I said I’m sorry.”

“Screw you, Jeon! I told you I don’t want to see you again.”

He managed to push the door enough to slip his upper body through. The sight of his face sent a weird rush through you but you didn’t know if it was good or bad. You didn’t like it.

His doe eyes pleaded at you. “Please talk to me. I can’t stand not being with you anymore. Please please. I’m sorry.” He sounded so genuine that it made you break, heartstrings effectively tugged on and strummed by the only man you truly loved.

You shouldn’t let him in. You really shouldn’t.

“Oh. My. God. J-Jungkook!”

His hand whizzed through the air, landing a hard smack on your bruised ass that has taken a lot of punishment tonight.

“Shut the fuck up. I don’t want to hear a word from you, you little whore.” He spit into your ear, hand coming up to cover your mouth while the other one held your hip to keep you in place as he delivered the deadliest back shots.

Your entire body was lit up in pain and pleasure, both mixing together in a beautiful cacophony that had you ready to propose to him.

Your moans were muffled by his large hand, his grip forcing your head back at an uncomfortable angle but he could give less of a damn about your comfort.

“How dare you let someone else fuck what’s mine?” He uncovered your mouth to slap your ass again in a tender spot causing you to jump, a high pitched scream coming from you as he pushed you into another orgasm. You had lost count a while ago, brain not keeping up with your body. Everything just felt endless.

You didn’t want him to know you were fucking other people. It wasn’t any of his business. You weren’t together anymore but am accidental slip up revealed what happened yesterday and in seconds, you were bent over the arm of your couch with Jungkook behind you.

“Count.”

He had made it to 21 before your knees were buckling, your eyes and mouth begging him to fuck you. To put you in your place and make you remember exactly who you belonged to.

He gripped at your hair, yanking your head back and making your body arch even more. Only your fingertips touched the bed below you, knees spread wide as you began throwing yourself back on his thick cock.

“I expect an answer when I ask you something, slut.” Contradictory since he told you to shut up earlier but logic was not necessary here. You were just a pliant little doll in service to the hunk of a man that was abusing your walls so good that your pussy should file a restraining order.

“N-no….I’m…ah! Fuck! S-sorry…..oh shit, I’m cumming!”

“That’s right. You come on my cock and my cock only. Do you fucking understand me?” He could feel his own orgasm building. He’s been holding back, a hard task with a pussy like yours but he managed. Denying all of your orgasms earlier made it easy enough for him. Then again, he did almost blow his load earlier when you put both of your feet behind your ears and held out your tongue for him to spit in your mouth.

He was an idiot for letting you go.

“I said, Do.” Smack! “You.” Smack. “Understand.” Smack. “Me?”

“YES!!! Oh shit!” Your walls clenched around him so tightly that it forced him out of your cunt, a long spray of liquid soaking the bedsheets beneath you. He brought his hand between your legs to rub furiously at your clit, splashing your juices everywhere. You’d definitely be upset later about your freshly washed sheets but he’d cross that bridge when he got there.

Your body jerked around as pure bliss and pleasure coursed through your veins, legs squirming all around as you both tried to chase and run away from Jungkook’s assault on your clit. He held your hip firmly, trying to keep you still while you rode out the waves of your orgasm.

When overstimulation began to get too painful, you turned over onto your side, pushing his hand away with your own. You twitched in the aftershocks, covering your cunt with your hands. Even the cool air was too much against your abused pussy. You’d probably have to take a break for the week just to recuperate.

When the haze began to clear a little, you slowly turned your head, peeking through your braids that covered your face to peek at Jungkook. Only to find him missing. You didn’t even hear him get out of the bed. Where did he go?

You waited a few moments, trying to catch your breath before Jungkook entered the room with a bottle of water. He was still fully naked, cock hard and angry looking, shiny with your juices.

He came over to the bed, placing a knee beside you to lean over your twitching body.

“Here. Drink some water. You need to be hydrated before I make you squirt again like that.”

Your eyes almost popped out of your head. Again? Was he trying to kill you?

“W-again?”

His lips quirked up into his signature grin, nose scrunching cutely and it made you want to punch him in it and then kiss it better.

“You think that was it? We’re just getting started. This will teach you not to give out what’s mine.”

It didn’t teach you anything though. You’d have to learn your lesson again next week.

And he’d teach you faithfully every Sunday.

[crazycatsiren]

Mother Lorelei, I apologize in advance, but I need your advice.

My birth mother is disabled. She suffers from severe chronic pain and fatigue, and physical exertion, unsurprisingly, causes her to feel far worse. But it often seems as if she prides herself on pushing herself past her limits despite that, and that she thinks because she's always forcing herself to do more than she should to her own detriment, that should be the standard everyone else holds themself to. Any less, and you've disappointed her.

While I find her willpower admirable, and I understand the pain she goes through daily to get things done, I wish she wouldn't expect me to do the same. I don't suffer from the same illnesses as she does, but even so, I'm incredibly weak, and have next to no energy or stamina at all. Even walking across my school's campus can get exhausting and painful, so any form of actual labor is pretty much impossible for me; almost immediately, I start to feel incredibly dizzy with vertigo and and feel faint, my muscles begin to ache and/or start to give out, and I become exhausted and unstable. This is to say nothing of the post-exertional malaise. I'm beginning to suspect that I myself am chronically ill, but no one seems to know what's wrong with me, other than that I'm an absolute wet noodle of a person.

Whether it's because I'm as weak-willed as I am physically pathetic, or because I, unlike my mother, know my limits and refuse to push myself to a breaking point, I always fail to "do my best" or "put in the effort" enough when I have to help do physically demanding tasks (like moving/carrying things out of storage, for a relevant example). I'm consistently below my mother's expectations, and she gets upset at me every time, saying how I need to try harder and that I'm being dramatic because I don't want to put in the work to get anything done. It's true that I'm not very good at doing these things and that I never get much done, but even though I give up so easily by her standards, I work my hardest until I quit. It's emotionally as well as physically painful and exhausting at times. But she keeps telling me I'm being lazy, and I don't know whether to believe her anymore. Do you think I'm in the wrong for not trying hard enough, or that I'm being lazy? Once again, I'm very sorry to complain and overshare to you in your ask box, but I'm not sure who else I can ask.

Internalized ableism is the devil, that's for sure. Not only does it distort your own perception of what's reasonable for you, but also it greatly skews your expectations of others.

And I think your mother is filled to the brim with internalized ableism.

Believe me, I tried the mind over matter method. All it did was made me sicker. It didn't make me any more abled, and it didn't change one bit of the reality that I will most likely never be abled again.

Capitalism glorifies grind culture. Anything less than pushing yourself past the breaking point is deemed unacceptable, and the solution is you just have to try harder.

It doesn't work this way. It never has and never will. And people keep wondering why so many are burnt out, even though the answer is literally right in front of them, and everyone knows it.

Our society doesn't want to allow anybody to become disabled. It's become so deeply ingrained into every aspect of life, that it's almost human nature. All the toxic positivity and inspiration porn sure as hell don't help.

[wholegrainbitch]

bought myself a jar opener from ikea at the weekend while so unwell i could barely walk, reluctantly using crutches and still barely standing, and it's prompted a new wave in me of

you don't need to wait till it's Bad Enough. you don't need to wait until you're sick enough. no, it doesn't matter that you felt better yesterday, or that you might be more upright tomorrow. if you are bad TODAY, if you are struggling TODAY, or if Doing The Thing Unaided today will mean being worse tomorrow? USE THE MOBILITY AID! BUY THE MOBILITY AID! DO YOURSELF A FUCKING FAVOUR!!!

chances are, if you're living with a chronic illness, your standard for a "fine" or "good" day is most people's definition of just about struggling through a bad day. i recently heard someone compare living with my "good day" symptoms as being on the last day of the flu and deciding whether or not to struggle through the work day or stay home. my day-to-day average symptoms as having the flu. and yet every day i go to work feeling this way and never call in sick, because im used to functioning like this - AND THAT'S NOT HEALTHY! I finally saw a rheumatologist and her foremost prescription was to quit my job. in the absence of that possibility, using mobility aids on my days off will help me immensely.

the romanticisation of suffering that comes with having a disability is so fucking cruel. society has completely brainwashed so many of us into trying to live up to an able-bodied standard that will absolutely kill us in the long run. when i stand up for long periods of time, i am dizzy and unstable, my heart rate spikes, my chest hurts, my legs hurt, and i am overwhelmingly nauseous. and i live through that for ten hours a day anyway, just to keep up with my colleagues.

im saving up for a wheelchair. im doing things the "easy way". and i will quit my job whenever it's at all possible for me to do so and use that wheelchair whenever i fucking can and i will use a jar opening aid that i got from fucking ikea so i don't spend the next six hours in pain from opening a jam jar. and fuck everyone who has ever asked me if i REALLY need that brace or if i REALLY need the crutches today. fuck you and your fucking high horse. fuck capitalism and every fucking boss who has ever expected employees to slave away for barely enough to eat. fuck inspiration porn. fuck suffering for a wage, fuck dying to live, fuck 35-40 hour work weeks with unpaid breaks and fuck going home after shifts and crashing and not moving until the next one. we deserve better. use the fucking mobility aid and rest your bones, dear travellers, because i certainly fucking will be.

[glowstick-knees]

Im at a two week art camp, and it’s only day one and I’ve already sprained my ankle (I think? Idk what injury it is tbh) and it is very painful, but I havnt been able to find an RA so I can ask for the nurse, so I’ve been walking on a very painful injured ankle all day. And it is in a brace, but somehow still hurts every time I take a step.

The fall was…awful. I was walking with someone in my class when I rolled my ankle in a pothole. Actually, “rolled my ankle” does not begin to describe what happened because oh my god, it hurt just as bad as the time I dislocated my knee severely enough to require an ambulance. I literally could not see because it hurt so much, and I’m lucky my vision came back so I could make it to my dorm. The whole time I was walking there, I was seeing stars and my vision was fading. I genuinely don’t know how I didn’t collapse again, my foot felt so unstable and I felt so dizzy from the pain.

The weirdest thing is, it’s barely bruised, and only a little swollen, but damn it hurts like hell. This is so frustrating.Stuff like this makes me feel like I’m crazy. I hate it.

[disturbedbeautywrites]

part 2 PLS IM BEGGING

A/N: Ask and you shall receive anon :)

“He’s staring again.” Robins voice came from beside you at the lunch table, a groan falling from your lips. It had been almost a week since your break-up with Steve and he would not leave you alone. He would either stare at you during class and during lunch or he would try and talk to you.

Honestly, you wanted absolutely nothing to do with him. The man you thought you were in love with clearly didn’t exist, so you had 0 intention of trying to be friendly with the person who led you on and lied to you for 5 months straight. He was dead to you.

“Come on, we gotta get ready for class.” Your voice was annoyed as you stood up from the table with Robin, dumping your lunch tray and heading towards your locker. As you put in your combination and opened it, you heard a bang on the locker next to yours.

“So, I heard rumors that you’re going on a date and we’re not even officially broken up yet. Is that true?” The cocky voice that resonated from behind your open locker made you roll your eyes almost into the back of your head.

“You know, I was pretty sure it was obvious we were over when I poured a screwdriver all over you in the bathroom at the party. But I guess I wasn’t clear enough. We’re not together Steve. You made it very obvious you don’t want me.” You closed your locker, walking off to your next class. Or so you tried, when your wrist was carefully grabbed.

“You don’t actually believe I meant all of that, do you? I was drunk and goofing off with the boys. You know I have a reputation to keep.” Did he really think this was helping? Of course he did. He was used to girls throwing themselves at his feet. But, you were done with that.

“Oh, so you mean I should brush off the humiliation and pretend you care about me because you were drunk when you were telling everyone how out of my league you are. Okay, I forgive you. Not!” You pulled your wrist away from him and walked off to your next class, hoping that would be the end. However, it was far from it.

While you were sitting in your math class, the boy that you were going to go on a date with came up to you with a black eye, clearly shaken up. “H-hey, (Y/N). I’m going to have to cancel our date tonight. I-I’m really sorry.” Shock was written all over your face as you sat in class absolutely fuming. Your ex boyfriend was out of control.

“(Y/n)! Psst, earth to (Y/N). Your dickhead ex asked me to give this to you.” Robin sneered, her middle finger being showed to Steve as she set the note on your desk. “I only agreed to it because I know you’re gonna tell him no.”

You read the note, sighing. Hey, pretty girl. Meet me outside of the gym later today during free period? -Steve :)

You agreed, sending a wave of shock through Steve and Robin both. “What the- why?!” She exclaimed, looking at you like you had lost your mind. “This is not a good idea. He is clearly unstable. You can’t go.”

“Rob, I got this. Trust me. He won’t be bothering me anymore after we meet up.” You assured your friend, sighing when the bell rang. It was time for you to get Steve off your back for good.

You walked out behind the gym, leaning against the wall as you heard the door open. As soon as you heard the sound, you were met with the breathtaking pair of brown eyes that you got lost in so many times. “You actually came..” his breath fanned across your lips, his body slightly pressing against yours as he rested his arm above you on the brick wall. “I’ve missed you.”

As soon as his lips were on yours, it felt like every nerve ending in your body was on fire. Steve’s kisses always made you dizzy, and now was no exception. Your head was starting to spin until you realized what was happening, pushing him away from you. “No! Stop!” Your anger returned, your breath coming out in short pants. “This! Is over! You ruined it! We’re done!” You glared at him, shaking his head.

“You realize, no girl has ever been able to turn me down. You’re not going to be the first. You’ll give in again.” You let out a frustrated groan at his words, your fist bawling up beside you. “Awe, are you gonna hit me?” His tone was teasing, but you weren’t.

You felt your fist rear back and make contact with his eye, his form stumbling backwards. “Leave me the fuck alone and leave any person I wanna date alone. Otherwise, I’ll tell everyone you got beat up by a girl.”

That last threat stuck and Steve went back to trying to be the big man on campus. He started dating around again, pretending you never existed and you honestly preferred it that way.

[maximoffslilwitchintraining]

Hi! I have an idea for a story. Maybe the reader faints for some reason (you decide) and Love worries and becomes iper protective ...

(Fem!reader x Love Quinn)

Thank you so much ❤️

A/N: Thank you for this request, I hope you like what I did with it. And sorry it took awhile. Hope you enjoy ❤️

Request are open ;)

Warnings: slight self neglect, implied stalking

Word count: 1,4 K

Summary: Reader passes out at work and Love quickly becomes worried. She gets overly protective to a point that is a little creepy, but we forgive her cause she’s cute. 🤷‍♀️🥴

||Promise.||

You felt your vision get blurry as the world around you spun and before you had a chance to think, it all went dark and your body fell to the floor. It was the end of the semester and you had signed up to more classes than you could handle, while still picking up shifts at Anavrin. Although this didn’t show on your performance at work or uni, your health often took a hit. On the busier days, you often forgot to eat proper meals, and though you’d survive the occasional skip of a meal, the days start stacking up, and without you noticing you had pushed your body too far. Love had rushed to your side, making people leave just to give you space. You hadn’t worked there for long and she didn’t know you all too well, but you were a hard worker that was for sure. Sometimes you swore you caught her watching you, but having no idea why she would possibly be doing that, you chalked it up to your wild imagination. On the rare occasion you had even thought you’d seen her around campus, you must be going crazy. You were overworked and clearly imagining things.

Your head was pounding as you attempted to sit up, looking around in confusion. Love rushed to your side, stopping you from getting up. 

“Careful.” Your eyes went to her hand which rested on your knee. She noticed and quickly removed it. “You passed out. Do you remember honey?” She spoke softly, her hand on your arm, squeezing it slightly. You shook your head softly, trying to clear your mind. You did remember passing out, but not here. You had been stocking the shelves in the store when it happened, but now you were in the back, had she moved you while unconscious? You didn’t ponder it too long, as the embarrassment of the situation settled in. Your gaze met Love's worried eyes.

“God, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to cause such a scene and…” You looked out at the empty store. “Did you close the store for me? Oh god you shouldn’t have-” You rambled on, getting up on very unstable legs as another dizzy spell hit you. 

“It’s not nothing, if you’re passing out like that.” Love held on to your arm, her brows furrowed. 

“It’s not the first time, I’m thinking it can make a great new party trick.” You attempt to deflect. Your jokes usually reduced peoples worries, or at least made them uncomfortable enough to drop it. Love wasn’t having it though. She looked at you with annoyance, her grip on your arm tightening.

“This has happened before?” She questions, her gaze intense as she waits for an answer. That sure backfired, you thought.

“Once, or twice.” You yelped slightly, at her surprisingly strong grip, making her take a step back. You rubbed your arm out of reflex, but stopped as you saw the hurt look on her face, giving her a smile.

“I just forgot to eat, no biggie.” You offered an explanation. Her brows furrowed again, deep in thought her eyes searching yours. 

“I’ll cook you dinner.” She finally let your gaze go, immediately getting to work. You blinked, unsure what to say as you watched her walk around gathering the ingredients needed. Cooking was what she knew, in this instance it happened to be exactly what you needed, but it also comforted her. It made her feel in control after having been quite frightened by your accident. After Love lost her brother, she was very on edge. She had found herself pushing people away. No one knew her like Forty did and she couldn’t imagine letting someone get close, not enough to get attached. She wasn’t sure she could survive that kind of loss again. Still she had kept an eye on you. No more conversations than necessary, but she made sure you got home safe. Staying later than she had to, just to see that you got to your car. Now she had to admit, she got a bit carried away after you had scared her like that. But she had to do what she had to do, to keep you safe.

…………………………………………………………………………

It had been weeks since your accident, and you were completely fine. Finally on break for the summer, you were now able to take better care of yourself. Love had nodded when you pointed this out to her, but you could tell she wasn’t letting it go. She had made a habit of making you small snacks during the day. At this rate you barely bothered with breakfast before turning up at your shift, knowing she would make you eat something regardless. 

You had just finished work for the day and were cleaning up when Love walked into the kitchen.You were tired after a long day, and without realising the woman was present, you let out a small sigh.

“Are you alright? “ Love’s eyes filled with worry, her hand coming to your arm. 

“I’m all good, promise. Just tired.” You turned to her, grabbing her hand in yours as gently as you could. Her eyes went to your interlocked hands. You got a bit nervous that you had overstepped and so you pulled away, but her grip tightened. You looked at her questioning. 

“Promise to tell me if you’re not fine?” Her eyes started tearing up, her throat closing, making the words come out shaky and mumbled. Without thinking you pulled her into a hug. 

“I promise.” You speak and she squeezes you tighter. She holds on for a little longer, before coming back to her senses. She pulled away, shaking her head a little and letting out a small chuckle, slightly embarrassed. Her cheeks were red as she wiped away her tears.

“So, are you heading home?” She ducked her head, fiddling with the side seam of her jeans slightly.

“Yeah, just have to make a detour to the school, I forgot my keys there.” You rolled your eyes at your own stupidity. Her eyes shot up at you, and you thought you were about to be lectured.

“I- I know so bad, but it’s fine one of the professors found it and thankfully he’s working late and letting me drop by. Thank god, or I guess I would have just had to sleep on the street.” You joke hoping to ease the tension, but she wasn’t amused.

“Alone?” She took a step closer. “You’re going there alone?” She clarified, hands on her hips. The woman was shorter than you, yet she could be pretty terrifying. You had seen that look before, but only from afar when a customer or another colleague got on her nerves. You tried to collect yourself, fighting the urge to avoid her intense look, you hold steady eye contact, trying to sell that she wasn’t affecting you at all.

“I can take care of myself, honey.” You lingered on the last word, with a slight smile forming on your lips. Something shifted in her eyes at the pet name, the look was hard to read. She either liked it or she was ready to kill you, could go either way.

“I’ll drive you.” Her tone was short as she turned off the lights and grabbed her bag. 

“No-” She was out the door, so you follow. You couldn’t argue with her on these kinds of things, that much you had learned. And all though you were plenty capable of taking care of yourself, you didn’t by any means mind Love's presence. 

The car ride was very quiet, not sure what you had expected really. Being alone like this with her had all of a sudden made you very nervous and you found yourself examining the car's interior. Making her give you a few questioning looks.

“Oh, It’s straight ahead here.” You spoke shyly.

“It's faster if you take this route.” She spoke, fully concentrated on the road ahead. She must have seen the troubled look on your face, cause she quickly shot you an assuring smile.

“Have you been here before?” You question her, trying to keep your eyes busy elsewhere watching cars, attempting to seem disinterested in your own question. She had not seemed lost even once, finding a parking spot like it’s routine. You hadn’t even told her what building you were heading to.

“No. Guess I just know the city well.” She smiled, but she was clearly tensing up. You didn’t care to push more. Getting out of the car, you managed to be nothing but calm and graceful.

“I’ll be quick, promise.” You spoke leaning over to meet her eyes. In the cold air you felt just how warm your cheeks had gotten and caught a glimpse of your flushed face in the mirror. You prayed you hadn’t been this flustered the whole time. She smiled warmly this time, clearly noticing your embarrassment. 

“I’ll be waiting... honey.” She smirked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Find more of my writing and rules for requests here

[boi69420swag]

why you should not glamorize ed:

making your friends and family high cal/unhealthy foods so they would gain weight

hair literally falling out in CLUMPS

you literally lose muscle before you lose fat

no s3x drive

always seeing your friends as competition. btw they aren't playing!!

the most RANCID farts

all you think about is food. all day everyday.

constant body aches

comparing your body to literal children

not being able to walk up stairs

your brain will not work the way it's supposed to

internal bleeding

infertility

open sores in your throat

metabolism slows down

no energy for anything

the number on the scale is never enough

dehydration

so so so irritable

constant dizziness

night sweats

food makes you nauseous

bad breath/yellow teeth

not being able to reach your full potential in sports or school

being cold all the time

watching mukbangs

purposely sleeping in

memory loss

being able to talk ab nutrition for HOURS AND HOURS

always tired

PERMANENT damage to your organs

never knowing what your body actually looks like

having to change the batteries in your scale like every week

never feeling valid or always in denial

nobody cares until you're literally skin and bones

your my eyes only filled with body checks

can end up with alcohol or drug addiction

bruises bruises bruises

brain shrinking

being embarrassed to eat in front of others

clogged drains

insomnia from hunger

heart palpitations

walking around the supermarket for hours but not buying anything

no personality

becoming allergic to foods

all or nothing

hands or feet going numb

everything is competitive

lying to everyone you love

ruining relationships

your skin can turn green from anemia or organ failure

heart failure

planning meals beforehand

craving food constantly

the guilt.

very intense mood swings

either super hydrated or super dehydrated

chew and spit

avoiding social events just in case there might be food

obsession with calories

blindness

exercise addiction

increased anxiety

"intermittent fasting"

binging

brittle nails

not being able to shit

wrist pains

joint issues

judges what other people eat

rotten teeth

the worst heart burn ever

feeling weak 24/7

hallucinating bc you can't sleep

being too unstable to keep friendships

getting full after like 2 bites of food

moldy food in your room

thoughts never making sense

dreaming about food or being hospitalized

blue fingernails

arms and legs start swelling

once you start it feels impossible to stop

smelling food instead of eating it

punishing yourself everytime you eat

poor wound healing

spending hours looking at thinspo

swollen tongue

isolation

takes so long for you to eat one meal

walking for hours on end

using the tiniest bit of food as a reward after intensely working out

veins hurting from drinking too much water

bursting blood vessels in your eyes from purging

having the habit of checking the calories on everything. and i mean EVERYTHING

thinking people just want you to get fat when they tried to make you something to eat

the headaches. oh the headaches

being broke/taking money from people to buy binge food

thinking you're faking all of it for attention you don't even crave

not taking antidepressants because you're afraid that they will make you gain weight

pale skin

bad body odor

acne

brittle bones

not knowing where any of your bruises came from

again with night sweats, waking up in the middle of the night in a pool of sweat

lanugo, literal fur

always uncomfortable

gaining back all the weight you lost and having to repeat over and over (never worth it)

your ed becomes your personality

very emotional or very numb

no period

passing out

yelling at your family

knowing the calories of what you're eating without checking

getting called anorexic as an insult

vomit bags in your room

wasting food

not being able to enjoy holidays

"it must be healthy bc it's low calorie"

hands literally turning yellow

being able to feel your body shutting down

paying close attention to other peoples diets

"this wouldn't happen if i was skinny"

always finding a way to make yourself busy

YOUR ED WILL BECOME THE MOST IMPORTANT THING

wanting to have a healthy relationship with food but also being in love with your ed

jealous and insecure if you notice your friends lost weight

ignoring everyone who says to get help

feeding tubes

losing trust with everyone

"morning skinny"

people watch you eat so you have to act like you're enjoying it

thinking everyone around you is looking at you

breaking the toilet

oh and i forgot. DEATH!

they aren't fun! we are sick and dying!

[kpoptrashlord-007]

Burning Desire;; BBH

Word Count;; ~.6k

Genre;; Yandere + Suggestive

Pairing;; Baekhyun x Reader

Summary;;

Baekhyun expects more from his trained doll and yet you're acting out, pushing his buttons and for what? To be reminded of how he shows his affection? He isn't the type to let blatant disrespect go unpunished.

Request;; 

an ask for the Drabble request Baekhyun + yandere + "bite your lip once more, I dare you" Thank you so much, I hope you have a great day 👉👈🥺

[Part of the Drabble Request Game]

Warnings;;

Yandere!!, swearing, suffocation, degradation, Reader is well trained and therefore a bit unstable!!, use of a belt, master kink??

Notes;;

Lowkey inspired by WriteForMeSinpie’s 2PM Jun.K fic Sapphire Heart!

My Networks;; @supermwritersnet​

Main Masterlist || EXO Masterlist

   His touch burns, leaving an imprint so strong he will forever be engraved in your memory. No matter how much time passes, you will always remember where his hands once lingered. Every bruise is a memento, every scar a testament to your dedication. Your faith in him grows as his hold tightens, your airway restricting under the pressure.

   "Do you take me for a fool, you little whore?"

   Unable to respond, you maintain his glare. Black spots flitter across your eyes. Heat pours south, passing through your core as your blood settles in your toes. You can't tell if it's desire or just the lack of proper oxygenation, your fingers now turning cold. Dizziness licks at the edges of your mind but you refuse to give in, unwilling to lose even a second's worth of his attention.

   There's hell in his eyes. It's the fuel that drives you. He lifts you a little higher until you stand on the tips of your toes. Pain wells in your neck and you relish in it. You're grateful for it. It reminds you that you're alive, and that is his gift to you.

   "Do you want to fuck him too, baby? Am I not enough for you?"

   Baekhyun is all you'll ever need. This you've come to understand. It frustrates you that he thinks otherwise but the promise of a punishment also excites you. These days your skin isn't a mosaic. No longer are you a portrait of his greatest handiwork, the truest piece of art crafted beneath his steady hand. There's no denying that it makes you feel a bit neglected, like he's grown bored of you.

   "Bite your lip once more, I dare you."

   And so you do.

   The movement is brief, almost imperceptible given how little energy you have left. You can barely keep your eyes open let alone make a show of your disobedience. All that matters, however, is that he sees it.

   You're about to pass out when he lets go of you. Air rushes into your lungs through choked gasps and you collapse with relief. Not in control of yourself, you shake, tears welling in the corners of your eyes. There's a part of you that is screaming, terrified of the man before you, but another part of you wishes he hadn't let you go. The fire of his touch is gone and all that is left is a chill that seeps deep down to the bone.

   If he walks away now, you don't know what you'll do.

   There's no you without him.

   You're nothing unless you're his.

   "If you're gonna wallow on the floor like a mutt, I'm going to treat you like one."

   Hope sparks in your gut. Looking up at him with blurry eyes, you hear the clink of his belt before you recognise the movement. He takes his time, unbuckling and whipping the leather free at his own pace, feeding the tension clenching at your palpitating heart. You're torn between punishment and pleasure, unsure if you should prepare for his ecstatic wrath or sit still and pretty like a doll while he uses your mouth as he sees fit.

   "For fuck's sake," he groans, irritation deep in his voice as he slaps you across the face with the tip of the belt. It stings and you whimper, not in pain but appreciation. His presence gives you purpose and his strikes brand you as his. Each infliction sears onto your soul, reminding you that, in this very moment, you are alive. "You really are some kind of stupid. What would you be without your master, baby?"

   You want to tell him, to please him with your deference, but the words are stolen from you by the belt tightening around your throat. It constricts when he pulls on it like a leash, commanding you with force. Holding back a gag, you still yourself. If you struggle, it will only be worse.

   "Now do what you were born to do, slut, and open your mouth."

  – ♡ –  If you enjoyed this, please consider liking, commenting, reblogging, and/or following! Thank you!

[mamitomoesyandereblog]

First time doing one of these, how about some yandere mami tomoe x reader headcanons?

Of course! You can certainly tell by the whole aesthetic of the blog; but Mami is my favourite character from the series. That being said; I'll try to do my best. Hope you like it; dear anon. ^^

Tw;

Yandere stuff, unusual behaviours, unhealthy relationships, mentions of kidnapping/Stockholm syndrome , mentions of suicide

I don't support this kind of actions or behaviour in any way; this is just fiction and should stay fiction.

(Spoilers For Puella Magi Madoka Magica ahead)

💛Yandere! Mami Tomoe Headcannons💛

First things first; how you two met. The request didn't specify whether they wanted the headcannons to be romantic or platonic so I'll try to keep it somewhere in between.

It was just another normal school day and you were walking home on your own; since your friends were all busy today. But then, as you're walking, you suddenly feel dizzy. It's as if everything around you is deforming in some sort of way. Whispers of "Were your friends really busy?" and "Maybe you're too pathetic for them, you would be better off dead" were ringing in your ear. Before you know it you're in a witch labyrinth.

Long story short; a certain blonde magical girl came to your rescue.

After saving you she introduced herself and made you promise to keep it a secret. She insists to walk you home and on your way there she shares with you more about magical girls and her experience as one in general. And then you reach your house and the two of you never speak again. Or so you thought.

The next day something unexpected happen. You find her and talk with her again after school. And the two of you become friends.

🍵 After meeting you Mami feels like she's finally not alone anymore. Maybe you're not a magical girl but you're still someone she can talk to, share her problems with. You're the only one she has at the moment, the only thing she looks forward to besides her magical girl duties. So it's only natural that she's a bit clingy, often texting you multiple times and passing by your class at school (if you're not in the same class or you go to the same school)

🍵 She tries her best to put a brave act in front of you, she wants you to look up to her and feel safe with her. She wants you to see her as someone you can always rely on. She feels comfortable enough to vent to you though. You've seen her cry at least once, you've comforted her multiple times. You understand, you're the only one who understands. In her eyes at least.

🍵 She's definitely the type to be touchy but not full on like giving hugs. Maybe if you guys were official she would but as friends she just does small gestures. Such as putting her hand on your shoulder or holding your hands from time to time; often pulling you closer to her without even realising. It makes her feel safer in a way. It reminds her of how close you are; it reminds her that the most important person in her life is here with her.

🍵 If you ever started spending less time with her, especially because of other people, she'd definitely get emotional. As we've seen in the anime; Mami isn't really emotionally stable. So if something like this were to happen she'd instantly go into panic mode. She wouldn't get jealous, she'd get scared. Scared that you're going to leave her, just like an old "friend" of hers did in the past. So she'd ask you to talk about it. At first she seems calm and has a smile on her face but the more she goes on the more emotional she gets, even starts crying.

🍵 What would happen if you decided to leave her out of your life immediately though? Maybe you start avoiding her on purpose or you outright announce to her. Either way; it ends the same. If you avoid her she'd come up to you, maybe in an alleyway near your house or somewhere you can't back away easily. If you announce it to her what's to come would happen then and there. She's silent for a few seconds. Then she starts sobbing, panicking more than she's ever panicked before. You then attempt to walk away and for the first time in her life as a magical girl she uses her magic out of the battle.

🍵 Most of her magic is based on ribbons, so expect to wake up with a bunch of em' tied around you, keeping you in place. She's a magical girl and you're just...a normal girl/boy/person. There's nothing you can do against magic ribbons. If even Homura couldn't get out of the ribbons then there's no way you would. She'd probably try to act as if those ribbons don't exist though. As if you're just a friend, or even something more, staying over for the night. Although it's going to be a lot longer than just the night.

🍵 Keeping in mind that you're tied with a bunch of magical ribbons that get tighter the more you struggle there aren't really many ways you could misbehave. Yelling at her would be the only thing you'd be capable of doing and she could either ignore it or have a ribbon cover your mouth as well. She's trying to convince herself that what caused her to do this never happened, trying to pretend all this is normal.

🍵 Once you gain her trust she'd let you out of the ribbons. It would be quite easy, to be honest. Her entire mental stability depends on you at this point since you're the only one she has. Good luck with trying to get out of her apartment. Everything is locked and it's too high for you to jump off. If you somehow did manage to go out though... It's you against a veteran unstable teenage girl with the power to summon hundreds of rifles at once. So once again; good luck.

🍵 If you did really learn to love her she'd be so so happy, crying tears of joy even. She'd get a lot more physical as well when you're in her apartment so you'd get a lot of hugs. And free desserts. Unlike some yanderes she'd let you get out of the house; on your own as well. As long as you came back in time. You'd also be able to go to school again, although you'd spend all of your time by her side. She'd even force Kyubey to help you telepathically talk to eachother during class as well.

🍵 If anyone ever made a move on you she'd probably get between the two of you, literally, and threaten them. She'd somehow make herself seem intimidating while still sounding pretty calm and wearing a smile. If someone decided to hurt you though... Well; if they were to insult you they'd get the same treatment as making a move with you. If they actually hurt you physically...oh boy. At first it's just a playful threat. Once you leave that fake smile on her face would be gone though, replaced by a glare instead. She'd threaten the person again, this time sounding more determinated than before. She wouldn't use her magic though, she still has to keep the whole Magical Girl thing a secret after all.

🍵 When and if she learnt the truth about witches... It'd be tough. Learning that she's going to either die fighting or become what she's been fighting all this time messes her up by itself, but realising that she's never going to be with you no matter what makes it one trillion times worse. She would still do the same she did in the series. What if one day she turned into a witch and ended up hurting you? No. She'd rather end it all sooner, it was for the better. If she somehow learnt it without the Sayaka fiasco happening and the circumstances were ideal she'd send you a voicemail before ending it all. Her last goodbye.

🍵 I'd imagine her witch form to be the same but with some changes. For example; her familiars would give the people who entered the labyrinth a missing poster that read "Vidisti amica mea?" before walking them to the tea party. I can even imagine the witch taking people in hopes of finding someone one day. She can't remember anything about who it was exactly but she's just desperate to find them; maybe they'd make the tea party more fun, whoever they were.

Aaand that's everything! I apologize if it wasn't exactly to your liking dear reader, it's my first time writing yandere headcannons.

(Also don't worry about the reader not being a magical girl/boy, I'm saving that for the future 👀)

With all that being said; I hope you liked the headcannons! Or some of them, at least. Requests are still open of course. Have a lovely day/night! 💕

[writertitan]

One Day

pairing: levi x reader

word count: 4414

themes: light angst, heavilymedicated!levi, hurt/comfort, vulnerable!levi, role reversal where it’s levi’s turn to have someone dote on him 

requested by anon

requested by anon

(a/n: i hope it’s okay that i pulled two requests together! they just mesh so well together and they came together like this!) 

He’s fine, he is fine. 

The same words drift in and out of your head, day in and day out, as you wait for Levi and his squad to come back from their expedition. He was always fine, always, so this one can’t be any different from the rest. It doesn’t make sense that you’re worrying about this one so much. Just because you can’t be there. 

You think back to the morning of his expedition, a quick breakfast, an even quicker goodbye, and then he was off with his squad. You still weren’t cleared to get back to your regular duties due to a very unfortunate injury during what should have been a basic training exercise. Just a concussion, and a minor stab wound, but apparently your medic didn’t agree with your assessment of feeling okay to join Levi on his expedition. A real pity that it had happened right before Levi’s expedition. Levi’s expedition and yours. You’re supposed to be out there with him and your comrades. 

But he’s fine. He’s fine. 

It’s twilight now and your body is jumpy and unable to stand still, because Levi was supposed to be back by dusk. The pale light of impending night isn’t as comforting as usual. You’re staring out the window of your shared quarters, trying to calm yourself by focusing on the dark silhouettes of the still-bare trees against the pale blue evening light. Your candle’s flame flickers and the reflection against the window is a warm and stark contrast to how cold the fastly approaching night looks. 

You don’t even notice you’ve been tapping your fingers against the windowsill until a knock comes at your door and makes you completely freeze. 

It’s not Levi, because he wouldn’t knock. This is where he lives too. So, the disappointment is already heavy on your chest as you slowly turn away from the window and walk to the door, steps heavy and slow, and you’re surprised to see Erwin on the other side. 

And then the surprise knots into panic, so quick that it leaves you a little breathless and dizzy. 

“Commander,” you manage to breathe out, heart fluttering and raging in your chest. There can only be one reason the commander himself came to you and didn’t send a fellow soldier. 

Something happened. 

Something happened to your comrades. 

Something happened to - 

“Levi’s squad just returned,” he informs you, eyes completely unreadable. That has to be on purpose. 

Your legs feel unstable. They’re turning into jelly and you have to hold the door frame in an effort to make sure you won’t collapse. It feels like all the blood has left your head and is pooling at your feet. 

“What happened?” you manage to ask. 

Erwin finally shows emotion. His entire face is grim. His eyes are dark as he stares down at you, jaw set as he finally says the words. 

“There were a lot of injuries, a lot of casualties-” 

The door frame can’t hold you up anymore. It feels like everything is in slow motion as you wobble and start sinking down to your knees, but Erwin catches you, his strong arms like metal against your jelly frame.

“Levi,” is all you can manage to say while Erwin helps you into the closest chair available, his eyes still dark, but softer now. 

“He’s going to be okay,” he starts, “but he was injured earlier today. A hoard of abnormal titans got in their way while they were trekking back.”

“Can I see him?” you ask, voice desperate. Your eyes are filling with tears and Erwin is blurry, but you can see him nod gently. 

It doesn’t matter that your commander is watching you fall apart. 

He’s not fine. 

The new, unfamiliar, strange sentence is blaring like a horn in your mind. 

He’s not fine, but he’s not dead. 

He’s not dead. 

There’s little comfort in those new words, but it’s enough to stop yourself from falling apart completely. You’re trying so hard not to burst into sobs, but there are still tears streaming down your face, and your throat is closed up so it helps you keep quiet. But your breath is still stuttering in your lungs and in your throat. Commander Erwin rests a hand on your knee. 

“Take your time,” he assures you. “I’ll take you to him when you’re ready.” 

Every cell in your body is aching to go to Levi, but you know you need to take this minute to yourself to get it together. For Levi. 

You count to 60 in your head and then nod to Erwin, wiping the last of your tears with the backs of your hands.

“Where is he?” 

-----

It’s hard seeing Levi in the medic’s ward. You hate it here for plenty of reasons. It smells strongly of sickness and blood, though they try their best to keep it sanitary. Each face inside is somber. But the reason you hate it most of all right now is because Levi is laying on his uncomfortable cot and gritting his teeth against the sheer pain of getting sewn back together. One arm is in a sling and, through his torn shirt, you can see dark bruises blooming over his skin. The urge to cry is strong and stinging at your eyes, but you keep it all at bay. 

Levi hasn’t noticed you yet. How could he, when he’s in so much pain? 

You stand timidly at the door and ponder whether or not to wait until his physician is done or mostly done, but when Levi hisses at a particularly brutal stitch, you go rushing to his side and let your hands flutter indecisively over his body until you settle for holding the hand that’s not currently in a sling.

Levi’s eyes flutter open in surprise, face momentarily absent of pain when his gaze lands on you, and he whispers your name softly before a new surge of pain overtakes him. 

“It’s going to be okay,” you whisper in his ear, and the certainty in your voice helps the two of you.

While the physician works on Levi’s sutures, you let your lover squeeze your hand as you brush his hair back, your nose brushing against your temple as you whisper sweet nothings to him to distract him. Maybe it’s working, maybe it’s not, but Levi’s head is turned towards you, and he’s leaning into the little wisps of kisses you’re giving his forehead, and he’s not screaming in agony, so you feel okay with letting this doctor see so much intimacy. 

“You’re going to be in some pain for a while,” the physician speaks up as he finishes the stitches on Levi’s abdomen. His eyes don’t meet yours or Levi’s as he speaks, voice clipped and professional as he continues. “That branch we pulled out of your side right here left quite a deep laceration. These stitches will take longer to heal as opposed to your others for the shallower cuts. I’ll come pay a visit to check on your arm tomorrow. I’m glad we were able to set it in time.” 

He goes to retrieve a small bottle, gaze finally meeting yours as he hands you the bottle. You check the label, a small wave of relief coursing through you as you realize what it is. The physician seems aware of your realization, but speaks up anyway with instructions. 

“That’s for the pain. Two drops in his tea every morning, afternoon, and evening should help. Captain Levi is the tea fan, correct?” 

You nod, and then find your voice. 

“Yes, he’s the tea drinker around here.”

Levi barely seems coherent but he’s trying his best to be. 

“I’m right here,” he slurs out, but his eyes are glassy and his brows are furrowed in pain. He can’t quite concentrate on anything that’s going on. 

The physician addresses him properly, a hand gently laying on Levi’s shoulder. 

“You can stay here, of course, but I’m fine with you going back to your quarters to rest and heal. I’ve found that it speeds up the healing process when one is home,” he says, and his eyes flicker to you momentarily before turning away. 

Levi tugs you a little closer and you lean in, a hand caressing his cheek as he opens his mouth, clearly wanting to say something. The idea of being able to get out of here has made him a little more lucid, but his eyes are still closed. 

“Get me...the hell out of here,” he croaks out in a faint voice, and you don’t need to be told twice. 

You’re about to ask the doctor to fetch some help in getting Levi back to your quarters, but Levi’s already groaning and sitting up, his uninjured arm holding his stitched up torso. 

“Whoa!” you gasp, hands trying to still him, but Levi’s still stronger than you even when he’s messed up like this. “Levi, don’t move too much....” 

“I’m fine,” he grunts out, but it’s clear that he’s not when his legs give out and you have to scramble to catch him. His sturdy frame knocks the wind out of you a little bit, but you manage to keep him upright. 

One look into Levi’s eyes and you can see that he’s determined to make it there without much help, save for you. So, you make the decision to go along with it despite the physician’s slightly disapproving gaze, and shift yours and Levi’s stances so that his good arm is slung around your shoulders and he’s able to lean into you more heavily.

“Scouts,” you hear the physician mutter as you guide Levi out. 

It’s a relief to you when it dawns on you that Levi’s allowing most of his weight to settle on you, his feet shuffling slowly as you guide him back to your shared room. What keeps you going is the steady breaths that leave him, and his steady heartbeat that you faintly feel against your ribcage. 

He’ll be fine. 

-----

The fact that Levi’s fresh stitches didn’t rip is a miracle in itself, and you don’t push your luck. He’s in your shared bed as quick as you can get him there, and you immediately order him not to move. 

After you get him into clean clothes to sleep in, you become less bossy and lean down to smile at him, tears once again fighting to push onto your lash line. You win out against them, swallowing back your panic and sadness and relief so that you can smile down at Levi gently and help him get comfortable in bed.

“I’m gonna make you some tea now,” you whisper to him, gentle as you rearrange the pillows around him. “I’ll be back soon.”

Levi is quiet but he nods, not able to meet your eyes, and you have a sneaking suspicion as to why, but you don’t bring it up now. Instead, you swipe the medicine bottle and stuff it into your pocket, heading for the door, but the call of your name stops you. 

“I don’t want that shit in my tea,” he protests, and now instead of fighting tears, you fight the urge to roll your eyes. 

“You’re in pain, Levi, don’t be stubborn,” you reply over your shoulder. “You won’t even taste it in your tea. I’ll make sure of it.” 

Another miracle that happens is Levi actually relenting to something. Usually, he puts up more of a fight. This is just a testament to how much pain he’s in, and it makes your heart ache. 

As you wander off to the kitchen and begin a pot of tea, you finally let yourself release a few whirlwind emotions. You promised yourself you wouldn’t let Levi see you cry and so far you’ve done a good job. But now, in solitude, you let those tears escape, you let a sorry little whimper reverberate through your throat - you let yourself feel the sorrow and the relief and the crippling fear that have been pumping through you ever since Erwin came knocking at your door. 

Even Captain Levi Ackerman gets hurt. You have to remind yourself of that. But that’s not what makes you sad. He’s not Captain Levi for you anymore. He’s just Levi. He’s the greatest love you’ve ever had, the love of your life, and he’s in so much pain and he’s battered up and you weren’t there to help him. 

Then the guilt crashes into you, more domineering than all those other previous emotions, and it makes you tremble as you prepare Levi’s tea just the way he likes it, plus a couple of drops of something else that will help take some of his pain away. 

You’re back in your room only minutes later, and Levi is right where you left him, only now his eyes are up at the ceiling and he looks absolutely spent and haunted. You can only imagine what he saw out there, what he lost out there. 

“Here you go,” you murmur, setting down the tray so you can help him sit up slowly so as to not agitate all his sutures. He still winces in pain and you wince just at the sight of that, but quickly recover so you can set the tray next to his lap. 

Levi lifts the teacup to his lips with his good hand and takes a sip, the smallest sigh leaving him, and you feel yourself relaxing when his face melts from troubled to semi-calm. 

There are so many things you want to say to him, so many things you want to ask, but you know it’s best to just swallow it all down for now and focus on one thing: getting Levi better. 

And though Levi looks slightly calmer than before, he’s still tense, rigid against your soft palm as you rest it against his shoulder. You slide your palm up to cup his neck, massage the back of it lightly, and then sigh as you lean in to peck his shoulder through his shirt. Levi leans into your touch, like he did when the physician was stitching him up, and it makes your heart swell. 

As he finishes his tea, you can noticeably see the effects of his medication kicking in. Levi gradually loosens up and his eyes droop. Maybe, for once, he can actually get a decent night of sleep. 

You take his cup from him and set it back on the tray, and then set that aside so you can crawl into your side of the bed. Though you’re dying to crush him to your side and feel him next to you, you know you should be careful and opt for placing your hand on his chest, directly above his heart. It’s beating as steadily as ever. It’s telling you that he’s alive and right here. He’s safe. And he’ll be okay. 

Levi is drowsier, and he’s lying back down. His eyes are closed but you know he’s still awake. 

“Get some sleep,” you whisper in his ear, your hand reluctantly moving from his chest to his mussed hair. You comb it back from his forehead, feeling his temperature with the back of your hand while you’re at it, and then nudge your nose to his cheek affectionately. “Let me take care of you.” 

You know the ask is big. Levi isn’t used to being taken care of; it makes him uncomfortable. He doesn’t know how to handle the attention on him. Even now, being with him as long as you have, he still tenses up and doesn’t know how to react when you try to care for him. 

That being said, he doesn’t not want it. Especially with the medication coursing through him, it’s almost as if you’re seeing a whole new side to Levi. Right now, teetering on the edge of consciousness and dreams, he looks so frail and innocent. 

When Levi’s breathing slows to signal that he’s sleeping, and when his face relaxes into a more peaceful expression, he looks so much younger. You watch him instead of getting any rest yourself, just like Levi has done to you countless times before. You should be sleeping, because of your own head injury from training, but you don’t. It’s not as important as making Levi feel safe. 

-----

Admittedly, you do drift off as the night drags on. You’re constantly fluttering between a dream and reality, the only constant between the two being Levi. 

Levi, fortunately (and surprisingly), has been sleeping and hasn’t really moved an inch. The bags under his eyes appear less noticeable, though you’re thinking that that’s just your imagination. But it makes you feel good to know that he’s finally resting. 

When he starts breaking out into a sweat, your body jerks back to being fully awake, and you sit up to inspect him. His brows are slightly furrowed and there’s the faintest frown on his face, and you immediately worry. 

As quietly as you can, you slip off the bed and go to fetch a small bowl of cool water and a rag. It doesn’t take you any more than a couple of minutes, but when you return, you’re met with a borderline panicked Levi, who is now sitting up and looking around the room frantically. You’ve never seen him in such a state. When he sees you return, he relaxes a little, but his eyes are still a little wild. 

“What happened?” you ask as you move to sit by the bed next to him, but you don’t get any other words out before Levi has you in his arms in a strong hug. You’re afraid that this is hurting him, so you try to be gentle, but it only makes Levi hug you harder. “Levi, what’s wrong? Be careful not to hurt yourself like this…” 

“Had a bad dream. Thought you were…” He doesn’t need to say anything else. You know what he’s trying to convey. Levi has dreams like this often, and though he’s still getting used to showing more emotion, more affection, he always pulls you a little closer when those dreams hit him. 

“Lie back down,” you murmur in his ear, but he’s having none of it. 

This is a different Levi. 

Not different in a bad way. Just… different. He’s never held you this way before, he’s never ached so much for your touch. Though part of you is thrilled and a little moved, the other part of you is hurting, because you know that he must have gone through something awful to get like this. 

It’s not until you look into his eyes that you realize it’s probably also the medication in full force, especially since he’s awake and not sleeping it off. 

He’s your Levi but he’s also another version of your Levi that you haven’t uncovered yet. 

“Had a dream you’d gone out there with me,” he admits, eyes glossy as you help him lie back down. His gaze never leaves you and, even though he’s clearly out of it, his gaze is intense. “I’m so glad you didn’t go.” 

It was the exact opposite of what you’d been thinking this entire time. You’d wished and wished to have been there, to have protected him, but you know deep down that he would have been protecting you. And you probably would have died. 

Now, more than ever, you feel so protective over Levi. He is, of course, the strongest person anyone knows. You know how much it weighs on him. It’s been your mission since day one of your relationship to try and give back a fraction of what he gives you. 

“I’m right here, always,” you promise him quietly, wetting the rag and twisting some excess water out before dabbing it across his forehead. Your free hand finds his, the one not in a sling, and you swallow thickly when his fingers intertwine with yours. He’s still looking at you, but you make a point to watch what you’re doing. You’re afraid that you’ll crumble if you meet his eyes. 

“I’m sorry,” he says after a minute of silence. 

Your eyes widen as you finally find his gaze, which is still on you, and his grip on your hands tightens imperceptibly. 

“There’s nothing to be sorry about,” you remind him, but Levi shakes his head. 

“I worried you, I know I did,” he starts, “I’m sorry for worrying you.” 

At that, you soften and set the rag down on the bedside table, cupping his cheek affectionately as you stare at each other. He doesn’t seem to mind that your hand is still slightly damp, and you don’t care either. 

“Let me take care of you,” is all you tell him, a repeat of your request from earlier. And again, Levi doesn’t protest like he normally would. 

You press the most gentle kiss to his lips, which he immediately deepens by letting go of your hand to cup the back of your neck. He doesn’t pull away until you’re both breathless. 

“Stop treating me like I’m made of glass,” he says against your lips, which is fair. You’ve been extra careful, extra gentle, and Levi definitely doesn’t like that. 

“I’m sorry.” Now it’s your turn to apologize, and Levi shakes his head softly, refusing to hear it. 

“Nothing to apologize for,” he assures you, before pulling you into another kiss. This time, you’re not as careful, and let yourself get lost in it before breaking away again. 

It’s what helps you relax and finally loosen up the tension radiating through your body since finding Levi in the medic ward. It feels like you’re finally able to sigh out all the weight that’s been on your shoulders. 

“Hey.” He grabs your attention again and you focus on Levi again, your hand moving from his cheek to grab at the one at your neck. 

“What?” 

“...You know that I love you, right?” 

He looks so embarrassed suddenly, and you don’t miss the flush of color at his cheeks. It makes you finally smile, just a small one, and you give him a nod. 

“Of course. And I love you, and you know that, I’m sure,” you respond. 

“I know that,” he confirms. 

It’s quiet again and you’re about to reach for the rag again, but then Levi’s hand squeezes yours and he pulls it up and presses a kiss to the back of it. His eyes close momentarily, and you relish in the feeling of his warm lips on your skin. 

“One day,” he murmurs against your skin, sighing a little. You tilt your head in confusion. 

“One day what?” 

Levi’s eyes are open again, the silvery hues boring into you once more as he rests your hand on his chest so you can feel his heart again. 

“One day, I’ll get to marry you.” 

He doesn’t blush as much this time, but he clears his throat uncomfortably, as if you’ll recoil away, but all his words do is make you lean in, surprised, as you search his face for a hint of a lie or a joke. 

Neither of you have ever mentioned a future together, frankly because it seems almost impossible right now. 

And then you’re smiling warmly, a soft curve of one that’s not too big or wide, but just loving enough to make Levi relax. 

“Oh yeah?” you prod, hunching over to press your ear to his chest, close to where your hand is. His heart is beating faster. “I like the sound of that.” You’re referring to both his words and his heartbeat, but he doesn’t need to know that. 

“I want all of this to be over,” Levi says into your hair, nose nuzzled into your scalp. “I want to give you everything I can. We deserve to be happy.” 

It’s easier for him to say what’s on his mind when you’re not making eye contact, you realize. So you stay as you are, head on his chest, even though it’s slightly uncomfortable. You don’t know when you’ll hear this again. You don’t know if Levi will show this side of himself again, without the help of his apparently potent medicine. 

“We could have a house,” you say, so quiet that the words barely even hit the air. But Levi hears, like he always does, and he rubs your arm affectionately. 

“We could,” he agrees, just as quiet. “I’d like it to be away from everyone else. What do you think?” 

“I agree,” you chuckle, closing your eyes as you smile again. “I can’t wait.” 

His heart beats even faster. 

“It’s going to happen,” he says, so firmly that it feels as though his wish has already been granted. He’s just cemented your future. “We’ll be married, and we’ll have a house on the edge of town, and this will all be over.” 

The idea of a future like that is being dangled in front of you and you tear up a little when you realize it’s just out of your reach right now. There’s no house, there’s no real chance at a real marriage yet, there’s no end in sight for the war you’re fighting. And either of you could die at any moment. The universe has shown you that with Levi; even the strongest are vulnerable to fate. 

“Let’s pretend it’s like that,” you whisper, swallowing back your tears. “Just for a little while.” 

Neither of you say another word, both of you succumbing to the frail little fantasy of being the only two people in the world, with everything you want, with no pain or sacrifice. Everything falls away and, with your eyes closed and your head on Levi’s chest, you can almost feel yourself cozied up in this make-believe home you’ve talked about, with this nightmare being nothing but a blurry past memory. 

When Levi’s heartbeat slows and his breath evens out once again, you sit up and take a look at him. He’s peaceful looking again. 

After pressing a kiss to his forehead, satisfied that he has no fever and he’s not sweating bullets, you get comfortable in a chair that you move to the side of the bed, steeling yourself for a night of wakefulness. But, watching Levi, it’s worth it. You’d do this for him a million times over, because you love him, and he loves you, and you’re doing it to ensure the future he sees with you. 

Your hand stays on his chest to feel his heartbeat. 

[anotherspnfanfic]

Overloaded

Pairing: Dr Dean x nurse reader

Word count: 1584

Warnings: minor injury

Squares filled: Hospital AU for @spndeanbingo and Doctor AU for @supernatural-jackles Tell Me a Story Bingo

Summary: Working too many hours and being short handed leads to a breaking point.

~~~

Gabe pushed the wheelchair off the elevator into the ED. She bit her lip to muffle her whimper as the small bump jostled her foot. “Sorry,” Gabe murmured as he wheeled her towards the nurses station. “Hey, Charlie, you got an open room? She needs an x-ray.”

Charlie turned to see who Gabe was referring to. “Oh, what happened?” she asked, seeing the pain on her friend’s face.

Before either of them could explain, Dean came out of an exam room and spotted her. “My nurses are not supposed to be in wheelchairs. Especially not my favorite one,” he said as he walked over and squatted down to her level. He noticed her puffy eyes as he carefully pulled up the pant leg on her elevated foot. He echoed Charlie’s question, “What happened, sweetheart?”

She rubbed a hand across her forehead as she glanced at the floor. “I missed a step, or maybe two. I landed wrong on my ankle. I'm pretty sure it’s broken. It hurts a lot.”

Dean raised an eyebrow as he stood and moved to take over Gabe’s position. “Okay, let's get you checked out.”

“Exam 4 is open,” Charlie said.

Dean turned to Gabe as he pushed her toward the room. “Can you go grab the portable x-ray and 25 mcg fentanyl, please?”

Once they were in the exam room, Dean offered his hand to help her stand on her good leg. He leaned over and lifted her carefully and then set her on the bed. She tried not to whine as the movement sent pain shooting up her leg. “Damn it. This sucks,” she said.

He situated the bed so she was laid nearly flat and got her foot elevated on a couple pillows. “1-10—how’s the pain?” Dean asked, as he tossed a blanket over her.

“Uhh, about a 6.”

Dean nodded. “Gabe should be back with the pain meds in a minute. So, you missed a step?” he asked as he started to check her vitals.

“Yeah, I was playing with my phone and I missed it,” she explained. He gave her a skeptical look.

Before he could say anything more, Gabe appeared and handed Dean a syringe. “I figured you’d want that first. I’ll be right back with the x-ray.”

Dean finished recording her temp and BP, then pushed the sleeve of her scrubs up her shoulder and cleaned a spot with an alcohol wipe. “Little pinch,” he warned. “Babe, you can maneuver all the stairs in this building backwards, hands full, and with your eyes closed. You sure you just missed it?” he asked.

She broke eye contact as she contemplated her answer carefully, knowing he could tell when she was lying. “No,” she mumbled. “I might have been a little dizzy, too.”

He reached his index finger under her chin to force her eyes to meet his. “Any guesses why you were dizzy?”

She pulled away enough to drop her gaze back down to the bed and shrugged almost imperceptibly. “Low blood sugar, maybe? Probably,” she mumbled the last word. She fiddled with the corner of the blanket almost nervously, not wanting to see the disappointment and concern on his face.

He hummed. “So you didn’t miss a step. You fainted?”

She sighed in defeat. “Yeah.”

“Have you eaten anything since the granola bar I brought you,” he paused to check his watch, “five hours ago?”

She shook her head and pulled the barely-touched bar from her pocket. “I got busy and then I forgot it was there.”

“What about water? Have you been drinking?” he probed. She simply shook her head, still refusing to make eye contact. “So you’re probably dehydrated, too.”

She shrugged.

He sighed. “You really have got to take better care of yourself. I love how much you care for everyone around you, but you have to come first once in a while. Otherwise, you won’t be able to help anyone.”

“I just get so busy that I forget sometimes.”

He pressed a quick kiss to her forehead. “We are going to work on that.”

Before she could add anything, Gabe pushed the x-ray into the room, and within a few minutes, they had all the images they needed of her ankle.

“Definitely very broken,” Dean stated. “Gabe, can you run a CBC and BMP and then start an IV of normal saline while I go page Sammy, please?”

“You got it, boss.”

“Wait!” she yelled before he could disappear out the door. “Why are you paging Sam?”

He turned back to face her. “Did you hit your head, too? You broke your ankle; we need an ortho consult. That would be Sam.”

She let out a frustrated groan as Dean left.

Gabe patted her shoulder before wrapping the tourniquet around her arm. “Maybe try not falling down the stairs next time.”

She rolled her eyes and looked away from what he was doing. “Oh, my god. Why didn’t I think of that?!”

He finished the blood draw and got the IV set up. Next, he carefully fluffed the pillows under her foot to ensure it was elevated enough. “You are all set. Do you need anything else right now?”

“Not unless you have a time machine.”

“A day do-over? Let’s see.” Gabe snapped his fingers and then spun around. “Damn. It was worth a shot.”

She tried to contain her smile as she rolled her eyes at him. “Thanks for trying, I guess.”

Ten minutes later, she was dozing off when Dean returned with Sam close behind. Dean ran a comforting hand over her head to ensure she was awake.

Sam took a few minutes to read over the x-rays. He turned away from the light board and walked over to the foot of the bed. “Unstable bimalleolar fracture,” he stated as he inspected her ankle. “You just bought yourself surgery and a vacation.”

“No way,” she blurted. “I can’t. We’re already short staffed.”

Sam shrugged. “It’s not exactly optional. Good news, though: the swelling isn’t too bad yet, I happen to be free in 45 minutes, and you haven’t eaten anything in hours. So we can do this today.”

Charlie joined them to give Dean her lab results. He turned to address her. “Just like I thought: mild dehydration and your blood sugar is at 58.” Dean flipped through the info again before handing it over to Sam. “Okay. So I’ll add glucose to her IV and get her up to pre-op.”

“Perfect. Make sure you keep her foot elevated.”

Dean rolled his eyes dramatically. “Do you think this is my first day?”

Sam shrugged. “Just making sure, Jerk.”

“Bitch,” Dean grumbled quietly.

Sam turned his attention back to her. “I’ll see you soon, Shortie. I’ll getcha all fixed up. Sound like a plan?”

She gave him a lazy thumbs up. “Thanks, Gigantor.”

“Can you send Gabe back in here on your way past?” Dean requested. Sam simply nodded as he turned to leave.

Dean returned his focus to her. “How’s the pain now?”

She scrunched up her nose as she considered her answer. “Um, about one and a half.” She laughed at herself.

“That’s good. I see you’re loopy, too.”

She scowled at him. “You’re loopy.”

He just shook his head. “Whatever you say, sweetheart.” Gabe returned and Dean gave him the med order and asked him to take her up to the OR.

“You’re not coming up?” She pouted.

He shook his head. “I can’t. I’ll be there when you wake up, though, I promise.” He took her hand and placed a quick kiss to her knuckles.

As if on cue, Charlie leaned into the room. “Dean, trauma incoming. MVA car vs pedestrian. Ambo is two minutes out.”

“Okay, I'll be there in a second.” He gave her hand one more squeeze before he turned to leave. “I’ll see you in a few hours.”

~

Roughly three hours later, Sam found Dean in the lounge pouring a cup of coffee. He nodded and offered over the now-full cup.

“Thank you.” Sam took a sip of the dark liquid. “We got her all set up in recovery. She should be awake soon.”

“Okay. I’ll head up there in a minute.” Dean took a sip of his own coffee. “Everything went smoothly?”

“I’d have paged you if it hadn’t.”

Dean rolled his eyes.

Sam nodded. “Yes, it went perfectly. It’ll heal up just fine.”

“Thanks, Sammy.”

Wandering into her room, he couldn’t help but smile at how peaceful she looked. He placed his hand softly against her cheek, sweeping his thumb slowly over the skin. She nuzzled into the touch as she lazily opened her eyes. “Hi, sweetheart.”

She gave him a goofy smile. “I like when you call me that.”

“I know you do.” He leaned down and kissed her forehead. “How do you feel?”

“Sleepy.” She yawned. “And I’m starving. Can you bring me some fries?”

He chuckled. “Well, I’m glad your appetite is back. You get a little more sleep and I’ll bring you fries.”

“And pizza,” she added. Before he could agree, she gasped. “Ice cream!”

“Tell you what: I will get you fries from the cafeteria for you to munch on on the way home and then we can order pizza.”

She pouted as her eyelids started to droop. “What about ice cream?”

His eyebrows scrunched together as he asked, “When do we ever not have ice cream at home?”

“Oh. Yeah. Okay.” She smiled as she finally let herself drift off once more.

~~~

Tags: @deanwasscaredbyacat @babypieandwhiskey @muchamusedaboutnothing @defenderrosetyler @akshi8278 @like-a-bag-of-potatoes

[mandoalorian]

Pain Is For The Living [Javier Peña x F!Reader] - Chapter 3

Summary: Sex work in the heat of 1980’s Colombia was never going to be a walk in the park. Especially not when you had a crush on your number one client, agent Javier Peña. You’d been warned about him and his reputation, but after one very specific incident that would change your life forever, you find yourself attached to him like never before and you’d do anything to make him yours. Even if it means endangering your own life.

Rating: 18+

Warnings: Javier being kind of an asshole, allusions to sex, a ~moment~ in the bathtub, mention of PTSD and trauma, food mention, drink mention, ...feelings?

Word count: 4200

Author’s Note: It’s been so long! I’m sorry. It’s been pretty hectic and I’ve been doing my best to wrap up my other series’ and complete requests. I appreciate you all for sticking around and asking for updates on this chapter. I’ve mentioned it a few times, but PIFTL is very difficult to write. It deals with very sensitive issues and so not only can it be mentally draining to write, it takes a lot of time to research and edit. I won’t give up on this series though. I adore this story and can’t wait to share it all with you.

Pain Is For The Living Masterlist

* Reblogs appreciated and my ko-fi is linked in my bio if you wish to support my writing!

Nina pushed off Javi quicker than a bullet leaving a gun, grabbing a blanket from her bed and wrapping it around her naked body. “What the fuck Javier?” she spat.

Jesus Christ -- Javier had never made that mistake before. Moaning someone else’s name? He was better than that. It took him a moment to just process what happened, Nina’s yelling and accusations only a blur in the background. “Who is she, Javier?” Nina questioned, her tone venomous. That was enough to snap the agent out of his thoughts. Her cold eyes burned like wildfire as she glared at him. “Who. Is. She?”

“Uh…” Javier racked his brains to try and figure out a way he’d be able to save this situation. But the longer he took to answer Nina’s question, the more infuriated she got. “Informant.”

That wasn’t exactly a lie. You’d agreed to help him. But whether or not you’d actually be able to provide Javier with any relevant information was a different ordeal in itself.

“You’re still sleeping with your informants?” Nina gasped a little, clicking her tongue and shaking her head in disappointment. “Why am I not surprised?”

Javier sighed and rolled his eyes, pulling himself off Nina’s bed and grabbing his denim jeans that had been previously discarded on the floor. “C’mon Ni, don’t get jealous now. We haven’t been together for like, a year.” Javier hummed, zipping up his pants. His eyes darted around the room as he tried to locate his shirt. Maybe there was no fixing this. For a split second, he’d forgotten why things had ended with Nina, but now it was becoming clear again. He just had to get outta there. He needed air, and a smoke. 

“I let you cum inside of me and you moan out another woman’s name!” Nina exclaimed, shaking her fists in the air. “Javier Peña I fucking hate you!”

Javier offered Nina a small shrug of his shoulders before finding his shirt and buttoning it up. “I’ll see you around Ni.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“Called him seventeen times Con, he’s taking the piss.” Steve grimaced, aggressively flicking to the next page of the Bogotá local newspaper.

“Will you just calm down? He’s our friend. We’re doing him a favour. He'll be back soon,” Connie sighed, glancing back over to you, where you had been sleeping on the sofa for the past two and a half hours. “She sleeps better than our Liv,” Connie noted. “Wish we could sleep as well as that.”

Steve hummed in agreement. “I’ll go check on Liv.” He announced at the mention of his daughter. He’d put her down for a nap about an hour ago in Javier’s bedroom.

“No honey, I’ll go. You keep working on your crossword,” Connie giggled before pointing her index finger into one of the blank squares. “Fourteen down: Los huevos revueltos.” 

“I would’ve got that,” Steve huffed, scrambling to write the answer down. He definitely would not have. The Spanish puzzle was made for infants and yet he was still struggling.

“Whatever Murph.” Connie rolled her eyes, leaving the table where they were both sitting at. 

The second she left the room, you woke up in a cold sweat, feeling dizzy and shaking from a nightmare you didn’t want to remember. Your cheeks were wet, tear stained and goose pimples pricked at your arms. You checked your surroundings in a fluster, not recognising the brown leather couch you were laying on, or the oak wood coffee table in front of you, or even the television pushed against the cream coloured walls. A man with blonde hair and mustache raced over to you, and dropped to his knees, holding you by your shoulders.

“Are you okay?” The man quizzed, his blue eyes searching to meet yours. You were horrified, the feeling of an unfamiliar man grabbing you like this. You screamed in terror, and defensively dug your fingernails into his skin. The man yelped out and stumbled back from you, hitting the coffee table in the process. “Fuck-- shit-- ow--” He gasped. “Connie!” he called. “Connie, she's awake!”

The way he yelled and screamed your name... it was like you were some kind of monster. You hated it.

The sound of footsteps padding into the living room alerted you, and a woman, not much older than you, knelt down in front of you. But unlike the man, she knew well enough to keep her distance. “Hi sweetheart, are you alright? I’m Connie, don’t be afraid. You’re okay.” she assured you, her voice sweet like honey. 

“Where am I?” you choked out, tears filling your eyes. 

Connie hesitated for a moment. “She doesn’t remember where she is?” Steve asked Connie with concern, scratching the back of his neck as he pulled himself together and shuffled over to you. Taking a note out of Connie’s book, he kept his distance. Connie briefly explained to her husband how your behaviour right now actually made a lot of sense, and how victims of PTSD can often have ‘memory blanks’.

“Darling, I’m Connie Murphy. I’m a nurse. And this is my husband Steve. Steve is DEA. He’s friends with Javier Peña. You know that name, right? Javier Peña.” She repeated his name slow and steady, allowing you to take your time to process the words. Javier Peña. Just like that, a wave of calmness washed over you. His name felt like home. It felt like safety. 

“I know Javi.” you whispered in admittance, shuffling around on the sofa. You could feel your lips trembling. It was strange. You were new to Bogotá, and you didn’t really have any friends, other than the late Rosa. And well, Javier too. He was a client, sure, but he was always kind and gentle with you, unlike your other customers. You’d like to think of him as a friend. Right now, he was the only person you had. 

“This is Javier’s place. He’s going to watch over you for a little while, okay?” Connie explained. “We are your friends and we’re not going to hurt you. I promise,” the lady soothed. She turned to Steve. “Bring over Olivia.”

“What-- why?” Steve quizzed, his eyebrows furrowing together in bewilderment.

“She needs to know she can trust us. Bring over Olivia,” Begrudgingly following his wife’s instruction, a wary Steve stood up and padded into Javier’s bedroom where Olivia had been left to sleep in a small, transportable crib. He picked up his daughter and carried her into the living room. “This is my daughter Olivia,” Connie told you quietly, smoothing out Olivia’s black hair. “She’s one year old. Would you like to hold her?”

“Connie are you fucking crazy?” Steve snapped.

“I’m a fucking nurse Steve, I know what I’m doing.” Connie hissed back, taking Olivia from her father. She looked back over to you and her deep frown turned into a comforting smile as she slowly handed you the baby. Connie’s hands never left Olivia, and she made an effort to support her head as you cradled the sleeping baby in your arms.

Holding Olivia Murphy gave you a feeling of responsibility. If Steve and Connie were dangerous, they would never have shown you their daughter, let alone allow you to hold her in your arms. You contemplated everything and although it was hard, you decided that you probably could trust them. Still, it raised the question: “Where is Javi?”

Steve shook his head incredulously and stood up, grabbing the phone from one of the side tables and dialling his partner’s number again. You didn’t know what was wrong with the blonde haired agent, but you got the impression that he did not want to be here.

“Steve is going to call him, again. He went to get groceries. I’m sure he won’t be long.” Connie informed softly, and you nodded your head. 

“Your baby is adorable,” you announced quietly and Connie smiled, thankful you were beginning to talk a little more. Seemingly, you’d calmed down, which meant Connie’s comforting approach had worked.

“She’s a real gem, isn’t she?”

Javier was just a couple of blocks away when his carphone began to ring. He eyed up the display and read the ‘17 missed calls’, cursing under his breath. He clicked the accept button and continued to drive.

“Javier Peña. You prick.”

“Hi bestie.” Javier grinned, shaking his head at Steve’s introduction. Typical.

“You left us here for three fucking hours with some random girl -- who, by the way, is incredibly unstable, Javier. I don’t know what you’re getting yourself into, but I’m not here for it. Where the fuck have you been? No, forget that. You better be home in the next ten minutes and you better have the ingredients for my fucking paella.” Steve growled before angrily slamming the phone down on the hook.

Javier couldn’t help but chuckle. Steve Murphy was ever the drama queen.

As he drove down the street, he made one final attempt to shrug off what had happened with Nina. Okay, yeah, saying your name was a little uncalled for. But she always got so needy and possessive -- even when she had no reason to be. Nina and Javier weren’t exclusive and hadn’t been for a long time, so, what was her deal?

What was even more concerning to Javi, was the fact he said your name in the first place. Nina looked rather similar to you. Not identical, but from a distance, there was a chance she could’ve been mistaken. Only, when he was pounding into her from behind, he wasn’t at a distance. In fact he couldn’t have been any closer, and yet he still said your name. He was really struggling to justify it. 

Sure, he’d been thinking about you when he was inside of her. But was that really so bad? You were clearly on his mind, and Javier just pinned that down to the fact he’d been out all day investigating the crime scene at the brothel. He’d been with you, he’d held you and comforted you. Fuck, even before noon he had been fucking your mouth. It wasn’t exactly unreasonable…

But moaning out your name… shit, could Javier really get past that? Was there any way to justify that -- other than the blatant and glaring honest reason that Javier refused to admit. He wouldn’t even let his mind go there. Whatever, it was fine. He was home now. The end of a long day.

Javier grabbed the groceries from the back of his car and buzzed himself into the DEA apartment block where he and Steve were living. Making his way over to his apartment, he opened the front door and set the brown paper bag of ingredients down on the kitchen counter. When he got home, Connie was just finishing up painting your nails a beautiful sea blue gel colour. She turned around and she looked up at Javier. Your eyes, however, were already fixated on him the second he entered the room.

“Where’s Steve?” Javier asked, diverting his gaze from the two women and continuing to unpack the food. 

“He went home. He’s pissed, Javi.” Connie admitted, shaking her head in annoyance and placing the pot of nail polish on the coffee table. She walked into the open space kitchen and nudged the agent.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Javier muttered, stacking the canned goods into a cupboard.

“I’m going home, but don’t think we’ve forgotten about the paella. Steve wants that fucking paella,” Connie chastised. Javier nodded his head but remained silent as he emptied his bag of shopping. “Unbelievable.” Connie scoffed incredulously, and opened the front door before slamming it behind her.

“Thanks Con!” Javier called, but there was no telling if she even heard.

Javier was half way through putting his shopping away when he heard your meek and softly spoken voice call his name in a questioning tone. His dark eyes looked over at you. You were sitting upright on the sofa and his face softened. Stopping what he was doing, he neglected the bag of groceries and padded into the living room to sit down next to you. 

“Hi.” Javier murmured, crossing his legs and adjusting the crochet blanket that was covering your lap. 

“Hi.” you replied, feeling somewhat shy and slightly nervous, for a reason you couldn’t quite place.

“How are you feeling?” Javier asked, bringing himself to look at you.

“Um,” you fumbled at the blanket and thought for a moment. It was a loaded question. Other than the overwhelming feeling of distress and helplessness, you decided to give the agent a simple answer. “Well rested. A little thirsty.” 

Javier nodded. “How would you feel about taking a bath?”

You swallowed back a knot in your throat that you hadn’t even realised was there in the first place. “...Do I smell?” you asked, You stretched out and gave your underarms a sniff, prompting Javier to burst out into laughter. Shit, had you always been that adorable? Your nose scrunched up at the distinct smell of dried up blood on your clothes and your shoulders slumped sadly. Javi, noticing your change in demeanor, gently lifted up the blanket and wrapped it around your body.

“Hey, it’s okay,” he cooed. “Believe me, I get stinky too. It happens. Let me help you take a bath. Come with me.”

Taking his hand, Javier navigated you towards the bathroom. It was a small boxy room with barely any space to move around, and yet, to your surprise, it fit a bathtub. Javier twisted the faucet, and the tap began to run warm water. He picked up a bottle of bubble bath and a tub of salts. “I have a bad back,” Javier told you. “These salts really help me relax. And the bubbles are nice too.”

You nodded with a smile. As he emptied the contents into the tub, you watched the products swirl into a colourful abyss. “It smells like you.” you uttered, without really thinking about the weight of your words. Javier said nothing, and you both sat by the side of the tub in comfortable silence, watching as it filled up. He occasionally dipped his hand in the water, checking the temperature.

“Will you be okay?” Javier asked you, taking out a towel and folding it up on top of the toilet seat.

You weren’t really sure, but you nodded your head anyway. Just as he was about to leave, you spoke up again. “Actually, Javi, could you stay?”

Javier fumbled a little but smiled. “Yeah, of course.”

Javier had seen you naked countless times due to the nature of your job but for some reason, this time, it felt different. He’d never had a woman use his bathtub before, let alone be requested to stay in her presence as she got undressed and stepped inside. You slipped out of your sultry, blood stained dress and let it pool to the floor. Javi’s mouth parted as he took in your naked form under the amber tinted bathroom lights. 

You stepped inside the tub and almost slipped over, but Javier, as quick as lightning, grabbed your arm and steadied you. “Sorry,” he muttered, and your hand slid into his. As your fingers interlocked, you felt something. It was like a bolt of electricity, running up your arm, and judging by Javier’s reaction, he could feel it too. “I should’ve warned you. It can be a little slippery.”

You giggled and tried to tear yourself from Javi’s grip, but he didn’t let go of you once. Instead,  he helped you sit down comfortably amongst the bubbles and aromatic hot water. You moaned, feeling your body become indulged and your muscles soften. You smiled and laid back, the bubbles fizzing around your neck and chin, and Javier felt his heart swell in his chest as he noticed your lips curl into a smile. It was the smile he would kill to see, and he hadn’t even realised how much he missed it.

“Just relax,” Javier soothed. “I’ll be back faster than you can count to ten.”

Javier ran into the kitchen and took a glass from one of the cupboards before racing back to the bathroom. Kneeling down by the side of the tub, he dipped the glass into the water, filling it up, and gently emptied it down your hair. 

“Close your eyes,” he requested, continuing to wet your hair ample enough until it was ready to be shampooed. Taking the bottle of his musky scented shampoo, Javier squirted the thick liquid into your scalp and began to massage it in. You couldn’t believe how gentle he was, and how he was taking his time with you. You’d never in a million years imagine Javier Peña being like this, or acting this intimate, with any woman -- especially not you. To be honest, his own behaviours were even coming to shock Javier. But he just let his instincts take over. He wanted to protect you and make sure you knew just how safe you were. That was the most important thing on his mind.

Once he rinsed your hair, he grabbed some soap and a sponge, handing them to you. “Do you uh-- uh-- do you think you can wash your own body?” He asked, his dark eyebrows knitting together. “If not, that’s okay. I can help. But--”

You smiled and rested a wet hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay Javi. I’ll be fine.” you promised, taking the sponge from him. 

“I’m going to find you some clothes to change into.” He told you. “Shout if you need me. I won’t be long.”

And he stuck by his word. Javier raked through his drawers and picked out a pale yellow button down shirt that he hadn’t worn in a few years and a pair of boxer shorts. Padding back into the bathroom, he presented you with them. “It’s not much but it’s all I have,” he told you. “I’m sure Con will take you out shopping at some point. Or we can hop on back to your place tomorrow to grab some of your stuff,” You smiled and stood up, making sure to be careful not to slip this time. Javier held out the towel for you and wrapped you in it. “I’ll leave you to get dried.”

When Javier went back into the kitchen, he figured he should put the rest of the groceries away, only to notice that the once frozen paella ingredients had become defrosted and been rendered completely useless. “Shit.” Javier cursed, pushing them to one side and running a hand through his hair. Looks like after all of this, he couldn’t make paella tonight. He knew he was about to get an earful from Steve at work tomorrow.

“Do you like pizza?” Javier called, rummaging around for a take-out menu and grabbing his phone from the counter.

“I do!” you called back, buttoning up Javier’s shirt and wrapping a towel around your head.

When you padded into the kitchen, dressed in Javi’s clothes, the agent felt his throat dry up. You were a sight to behold. You smelt distinctly like him, but you already looked one thousand times better now that you were clean and comfortable. You felt better, too. It was amazing what a bath could do to you. You shimmied onto one of the bar stools Javier kept by the counter and rest your elbows against the laminate. Javier passed you the menu so you could look over the dishes.

You agreed on a simple chilli pizza, which was one of Javier’s favourites anyway. Javi called the deli and asked for a large, planning on sharing it with you. Remembering that you’d mentioned you were thirsty, he poured you a glass of water and handed it your way.

“Steve is gonna be so mad at me tomorrow,” Javier chuckled, rubbing his temple. You peeked up from the glass that you nursed and looked up at him through your eyelashes. “I promised him paella and I’m not gonna be able to make it tonight. Not only that but he’s gonna ask me where I’ve been. He’ll know I wasn’t out getting groceries for three hours.”

You furrowed your eyebrows together and tilted your head. “Three hours? Where were you?”

Javier paused and absent-mindedly brushed a finger along his mustache. “I bumped into an ex at the store. Went back to her place and-- you know.”

Your eyes fell back into your glass of water. “Oh.”

Javier picked at his short fingernails and another sigh left his lips. “Shit, I just--” he shook his head. “Made a mistake. A very big mistake.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Yeah, that would probably be for the best but how could he even begin to tell you what happened, when you were part of the problem? Javier figured it might even scare you away. “It doesn’t matter… she’s just…” Javier scratched his head. “She’s fine. It’s a ‘me’ problem, I think.”

The doorbell rang and Javier was grateful for the interruption. He paid the pizza delivery guy and sent the stone bake on the table.

“It looks good,” you smiled. “I’ve never had Colombian pizza.”

Javier’s jaw dropped. “You--?” He shook his head in disbelief. “Dulzura, how long have you lived here?” 

“A month,” you grinned, with a mouthful of pizza. “Tastes good.”

After you’d finished eating, it had gotten pretty late. You and Javier exchanged small talk, learning little things about each other. You liked it a lot. He had always been an enigma to you, and even though he offered little information, it was still something, and you appreciated that a lot.

“It’s been a difficult day,” Javier noted, folding the pizza box and throwing it away to be recycled. “You should take my bed.”

“No,” you insisted. “I’m fine on the sofa. Honestly.”

Javier sighed. “I’m not going to let you sleep on the sofa any longer. You’ll get back ache.”

“Then I’ll just use your bath salts.” You smirked in retaliation. Javier laughed and you relished the way small crinkles appeared in the corner of his honey coloured eyes.

“Please, take my bed.” Javier said, staring at you pointedly. His eyebrows were raised and his strong arms were crossed over his chest.

You were about to argue further but truthfully, sleeping in a bed tonight sounded like exactly what you needed. You took a few steps closer to Javier, a pool of butterflies swirling in your stomach as you broke any distance between you both. You wanted to kiss his lips so desperately, taste him once again. It was only earlier today you’d had your lips wrapped around his cock, and yet, so much had happened in between then and now. You wondered if Javier was thinking about it too.

“Get some sleep, hermosa.”

Your eyes were completely trained on his soft pink lips. You wanted to kiss-- you just wanted to kiss him. Just one kiss. Just one-- you leaned in and shut your eyes, and neared him, closer and closer... but Javier stepped away.

And you felt your heart shatter in your chest.

“Nothing personal,” he told you. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea.”

Nothing personal? How were you meant to accept that? You had literally sucked him off just a few hours ago and now he wouldn’t even grace you with a kiss? Maybe Rosa was right; you shouldn’t form crushes on clients. Especially not Javier Peña. You’d only get hurt. You tugged on the sleeves of his button down shirt and balled your fingers into a fist, trying to ignore the pain in your chest.

Without uttering a word, not even a ‘goodnight’, you sulked away and into his bedroom.

Javier wanted to shout out. He didn’t want you to be mad at him, or even upset. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt you. It took him all the strength he could muster to deny you of that kiss. Your perfect lips looked so soft and delicate and if Javier could have it his way, he would’ve taken you in that very moment.

But you were more than just a sex worker now. You were a compliance in the hunt to catch Escobar -- and he had to be careful. No matter what, he couldn’t risk losing track of the bigger picture.

-—-—-—♡—-—-—-

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[yunho-1999]

Chapter two — Fucked up

The beautiful moment was soon interrupted when you heard loud banging on the door, it was like someone was trying to break it down. Surprised you went to open it. When you did, you saw Beomgyu completely fucked up, his face looked pretty bad, and his arms and legs too, it was like someone had beaten him up. Worriedly you pulled him inside, taking him to the couch were Yeonjun was now sitting down. "What happened to you?!" You said while inspecting his face with one of your hands, noticing how his nose had dried up blood under it, and his lip had a pretty deep cut. "Hey hey, be careful" he said pulling away, as you were unconsciously moving his face a little too fast. He was too dizzy for that. "Isn't it fucking obvious what happened to me?" "Don't be an asshole Gyu, I literally let you inside my house" you rolled your eyes. Sometimes Beomgyu's attitude annoyed you so much you wanted to tell him to fuck off, but you tried to contain yourself as much as possible. Not wanting to hurt his feelings. You couldn't loose another friend. "who did this to you?" "Isn't it obvious? It was probably the dickhead that lives in the same house as this one" Yeonjun mentioned while pointing at his friend "I don't know" you shrugged " it could have been the drug dealer he keeps forgetting to pay, are you even still consuming that shit?" you never liked that habit of Gyu, you didn't mind if it was just a little weed, but he didn't only use that, and honestly, it was getting worse. And that definitely concerned you "Yeah I'm still using it, it makes my life a little less shittier you know? At least for a few hours it does. Anyways it wasn't the dealer, this time I payed him on time even he was surprised" he laughed through the pain he was feeling, but that didn't last long, as it hurt to even laugh, and to breathe. "So it was your dad..?" Once again the answer was obvious, but you wanted to make sure. The boy only nodded, his hand now placed were his lungs are located. It stung so much, he felt like dying. "He- he found the stash of weed that I kept hidden on the wardrobe, and now here I am, with another beaten and kicked out of the house. Fuck- y/n do you have something to soothe the pain? I think I'm actually dying" his eyes were closed now. And that just made you panic a little, you didn't want your friend to be in pain like that  "I'll be right back" you said while leaving the room leaving the two boys alone.

"Who the fuck does that man think he is? Of course he is your dad, but he has no right to do this to you, like Jesus Christ, look at you. You look so bad" Yeonjun felt his anger start to build up, one of his legs now moving nervously up and down, his foot tapping the floor. "Hey, I'll be fine dude, calm down" Beomgyu's hand was now on his friends thigh, trying to control his nerves a little. He knew that he didn't have as much power as you to control Jun, but nonetheless he still tried to help. He just didn't want Yeonjun to start hurting himself because of that situation "it's hard to calm down Beomgyu, it's really hard to calm the fuck down when you look like this and I know who did it. And I couldn't even do anything to help you, it's so complicated and frustrating" he now stood up, feeling his heartbeat raise. One of his hands immediately went to the other, as he started to pick on the skin there. "I just don't understand why he even had to hit you, it's like so unnecessary. I don't get it, I really don't get it" his footsteps became unstable as he walked back and forth "He could've just said to you 'leave' that would be more that enough" "Yeonjun relax please..." Beomgyu said on a failed attempt to calm him down "No! I just don't get it! For fucks sake, why did he even do that!? I just- Argh I just want to beat his ass, make him suffer like all the times he hit you. He's an asshole, the worse person in the world, a fucking dickhead" he slowly approached the wall, unconsciously punching it "fuck" he mumbled as that really hurt, and you could tell by his knuckles who were now bleeding. But he didn't stop, he kept punching and punching the wall.

"Y/N! PLEASE COME ALREADY!" Beomgyu yelled as loud as he could, making you grow concerned, you couldn't really find any painkillers in your room, and you had no idea were they where, so you just gave up on that and went to your friends rescue. Seeing the true motives of his yelling. Quickly you approached Yeonjun, holding his arm gently, trying to make him look at you "Hey, hey, look at me" and he did "Remember what the therapist said, whenever you feel like this remember the things that make you happy, think about your safe place, safe songs, and safe people" you slowly caressed his arm, trying to make him feel less tense. You honestly had no clue on how to calm him down, you just did whatever felt right, and most of the time it worked "there you go" you said soothingly when he seemed to be more calm "thank you so much. But I think you should really check up on Beom, he doesn't look very good" you turned your gaze to your other friend, who was almost passed out on the couch. You practically ran towards him, carefully caressing his face "I'm so sorry Gyu, I didn't find any pain killers, maybe umm-" you didn't know what to do, your head was completely blank, not knowing how to handle all of the things that were happening at that moment, you just wanted to yell and cry, but you knew you couldn't. You were the pilar of the group, the one that always knew what to do and maintained things in order. Or at least , tried to. "Maybe we should run a bath for you. With warm water and everything. That will probably relax your muscles and we can clean all the blood you have on you. I'll go and buy painkillers afterwards okay?" that definitely wasn't your best idea, but it was the least you could do for the boy "I don't care, just make it stop" you could feel how much it was hurting, he was in so much pain, and every word just made you feel worse. "Jun can you help me? We need to take him to the bathroom, so you know, we can clean him off" the boy didn't hesitate and immediately went towards you, helping you carry the other male towards your bathroom.

The house wasn't the biggest, as it was the only thing you could actually afford as an underage girl who had a very shitty part-time job. But you liked it anyways, it had it's own cozy charm. And you made so many memories there, you didn't want to leave. The bathroom was definitely not big enough for the three of you to be inside, but none of you cared about that, Yeonjun and you were worried about Beomgyu, and Beomgyu was worried about the pain on his chest.

"Take his clothes off, I'm going to prepare the bath" you said now leaving Beomgyu on Yeonjun's arms. You turned around, paying full attention to the bathtub, not wanting to invade Gyu's privacy. You had seen him naked before, well, both of them, but you three were stoned and went skinny dipping, so it didn't really count. You turned the faucet on, letting the water run down for a few seconds, until it was warm. When it was, you put the bathtub plug on, stopping the water from going down the drain. After a few minutes the bath was already filled with water, so you decided to put just a little bit of soap, enough so a bit of foam floated at the top. "Done" you moved a little to the side and then turned around to face the wall. You could hear Beomgyu's faint laugh behind you as he was being carried to the tub by the tallest one there "hey, don't be shy. It's not like you've never seen me naked before" "it's not only that... I don't want to see you like that, you know, all bruised and shit" "then who's gonna wash me? I can't move, and I'm sorry but I'm not letting Yeonjun do it, he's too agressive in general. I need your soft touches, please" "Beomgyu that sounded so wrong oh my god" you covered your face with both of your hands "Well you know I didn't mean it like that!" " I know I know, I'm sorry" you sighed, shaking your head before turning around.

The sight of Beomgyu's body filled with blue and purple bruises almost made you throw up. You didn't understand how someone could be so cruel and do that to him. You approached his body slowly, containing the tears that wanted to come out. You kneeled down on the floor, next to the bathtub. Carefully you started to wash him, starting with his arms and torso, making sure to clean every bruise and wound. You didn't want them to get infected. You could see how his face would twist in pain whenever your hand went over a specific place that hurt too much "I'm sorry..." You whispered feeling bad "It's not your fault babe" you smiled at the sweet little nickname, it wasn't rare of him to call you things like that "Are you going to stay here from now on?" You asked looking at him in the eyes "only if it's not a problem for you" "it's not, don't worry, you could also stay here you know" your gaze was now on Yeonjun, who was sitting down on the sink "I don't know y/n... What if my parents come here and yell at you or something because they were looking for me" "why would they even do that? If they cared for you they would be here right now don't you think?" Beomgyu replied, he clearly didn't like Jun's parents "Beomgyu..." You whispered trying to make him shut up "No, like, they don't care about Yeonjun. So he shouldn't care about them either" "Well, he kinda has a point" the tall one said now looking down at his feet "I guess I'll stay here. It's better anyways, I'll have both of you with me" a smile appeared on his face.

"Well then it's settled, my best friends are going to stay here with me from now on" you said happily, finishing the job of washing Beomgyu up "And now I need you" you pointed at Yeonjun "to heal and dress this one up" you stood up from the ground, stretching your legs because the position you were in was quite uncomfortable "I'm going to buy the painkillers okay? Don't make a mess. I have some extra clothes on my wardrobe from both of you, so you can use that" you dried your hands and walked out of the bathroom.

As you made your way to the door you could hear them bickering about something, as they always did. They acted like real brothers. You simply laughed it off and grabbed your keys, going outside for the second time today. When the air hit your face, it was just like reality. You almost instantly collapsed on the floor, crying. You didn't know how you got there, why those things even happened to you and your friends. And slowly you were loosing your own satiny. You needed to keep it together in front of them, even if you were the youngest, you didn't act like it. You always had to worry, you always had to care of them, and sometimes, it got to a point, were you couldn't even sleep. You were so scared for them, that you barely slept, thinking something would happen and you had to be awake to rescue them. You weren't okay, but you kept saying that everything was fine. You lied, not for you, but for them.

Suddenly you felt someone caress your back, it was a soft touch, and it came from someone with very large hands. Soobin. "Hey, are you okay? What happened?" He asked concerned while cleaning up your tears with this thumbs "Yeah, I'm on my period and I was about to go buy painkillers but it just hurts so much" you lied, not wanting to worry him "oh y/n, you could've just texted me" his hand was now on your head while he patted it gently "Wait right here okay? I have some of those in my house and I'll just bring them out for you" you nodded slightly and stayed there. Doing the breathing exercises you once saw some people doing. And after some minutes you felt better, more calm. Soon after Soobin showed up, he helped you get up and gave you the pills "Thank you, really" "It's nothing y/n, I'm always here for you remember?" He smiled kindly while pinching your cheek, making you blush and look away. You never understood why he was so nice, especially towards you. Maybe he pitied you, because honestly, your life wasn't the best, it was quite miserable. So it wouldn't be a surprise to you that he only did that because he felt bad "I'm going inside now, again, thank you Soob" you smiled at him, and then went back inside. The first thing you did was search for Beomgyu, not noticing how Yeonjun was on the window looking out. Meaning, he saw everything.

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❥ taglist: @just-howaboutyou

[tsukishumai]

27 with oikawa pretty please?☺️

pairing: oikawa tooru x f!reader

genre: fluff, friends to lovers

prompt 27. “Are you blushing?”

wc: 1.1k

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Oikawa thought he was being a good captain when he suggested a team bonding trip. He felt a sort of unexplainable attachment to his current team, and he wanted to do something nice for them.

He had good intentions. Really.

But he never expected his good intentions to come running back to bite him in the ass.

He’s always known you were attractive. But you were their sweet little manager-chan. You were the only one other person other than Iwaizumi to be able to yell at and throw a volleyball at his face, and get away with it. He saw you every single day, spent hours with you, and sometimes if you were in a good mood, you’d even let him walk you home. Oikawa never really thought much of the fact, but you were always just there.

Yet here he was, unable to pick his god damn jaw off the floor at the sight of you slipping off the loose t-shirt and shorts he was so used to seeing you wear, revealing underneath the little teal number he most definitely was not used to seeing on your body.

And your body?? Oikawa never thought about you having a body before. Were you always attached to one? Specially one that looked like that? Jesus that’s a dumb question. He can’t even think straight.

“Dude,” Matsukawa snickered from beside Oikawa, “Are you blushing?”

Oikawa turned his head so damn fast, he nearly got whiplashed. “Am not!”

Iwa, Mattsun, and Makki exchanged unreadable looks, sharing a joke between them that Oikawa wasn’t able to follow.

“What, shittykawa,” Iwa commented, following Oikawa’s gaze to you laughing next to Kindaichi, “Never seen y/n-san in a swimsuit before?”

“And you have?” Oikawa spat out incredulously, only making Iwaizumi laugh, walking away from setter and waving over to you.

“Iwa-chan! you have!?”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The boys were playing a bit of three on three while you decided to lay down and enjoy the sun. Your sunglasses shielded the harsh rays from your vision, and you loved the way the heat kissed all along your skin. A sigh of satisfaction slipped passed your lips as a cool breeze blew through your hair.

Oikawa could not tear his eyes off of such a picture perfect moment.

Iwaizumi smirked, taking note of the setter’s temporary distraction. Just then, Yahaba had set the ball up for him and Iwaizumi thought there couldn’t have been a more perfect opportunity. Swinging back his arm, Iwaizumi sharply snaps it forward, aiming his perfect spike over to Oikawa’s turned face.

The ungodly snorting sound Iwaizumi had made was drowned out by the deafening smack of a volleyball to the face. Oikawa’s head snaps back, and his back landed on the soft sand.

“Oikawa!” You exclaimed, jumping up from your spot and rushing over to the sprawled out captain. You kneel down next to him and gently placed his head in your lap. “Are you okay?”

Oikawa brought a hand up to his forehead, and once the stars in his vision stopped their dizzying spins, his focus began to shift slowly to the angel above him instead.

Suddenly, the familiar heat rushed back to his face and he snapped back up to a sitting position, nearly bonking your head in the process. He clambers forward clumsily, the unstable sand making it impossible to get up with even an ounce of elegance.

“I’m fine, y/n-chan,” he chuckled nervously, trying not to let his heart beat faster at the way you were looking up at him, “Thanks for checking on me.”

You quirked a brow at him, getting up from your knees and walking back to your bag. Your dug around for a few seconds before pulling out a tissue packet, turning around and tossing it to Oikawa. He caught it easily, looking back down at it in confusion.

“Your nose is bleeding a little.”

Oikawa could feel the steam practically coming out of his ears.

“Th-thank you.”

You gave him a smile before returning to your spot on the beach chair, leaning back to enjoy the Sendai weather.

Oikawa plugged his nose with a tissue, glaring over at Iwaizumi. “You did that on purpose!”

“I did not,” though the smirk on Iwa’s face tells another story, “You should be paying attention during a game, idiot.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Hours later, the Aoba Johsai Volleyball Club were all packed up and ready to go their separate ways. The hooting laughter and darkened skin of his teammates tells Oikawa he did a good thing by hosting this gathering today.

But he was still reeling from his embarrassment at the hands of his best friend.

He looked over to you standing off to the side, hair in the sort of waves that only the salty water could produce, rocking on your heels while you waited for your mother to pick you up.

“Let me hold that while you wait,” Oikawa offered, grabbing the beach chair and duffel bag you were holding before you protest.

“Thanks, captain,” you said cheerfully, making him gulp at the way you smiled.

He’s talked to you thousands of time before. What had him feeling so nervous all of a sudden? Why were his palms starting to sweat now?

From behind him, he could hear the way the other third years were snickering, making him wonder what kind of shit talking Iwa-chan was doing this time.

Something lit up inside of him, forcing him to steel his nerves and bite the bullet. Because Oikawa Tooru was not one to back down.

“Say, Y/n-chan, why don’t we come back here to this beach soon,” Oikawa said loudly enough for his classmates to hear, “Just me and you.”

The boys behind you shushed themselves, as you shot your head to Oikawa, and all of a sudden you couldn’t help but feel like you’ve found yourself in a trap.

You were debating in your head whether this was meant to be a prank, but the subtle way Oikawa is chewing his lip reminded you of the way he looks right before an important game, and you knew the answer.

Still, you couldn’t let them have all the fun.

You reached out and gave Oikawa two pats on the shoulder.

“I’ll think about it.”

In perfect timing, your mother had honked her horn from across the beach parking lot, and you gave the boys a quick wave before grabbing your things from Oikawa’s frozen hands and trotting off to the car.

Behind you, you heard Iwa, Mattsun, and Makki’s unmistakeable chortling, and Oikawa’s exasperated groans.

You smiled to yourself. He’ll be fine.

He’ll feel better once he gets your text later that night, asking him for the date and time.

[barnesbabee]

𝓹𝓵𝓪𝔂 𝓭𝓪𝓽𝓮 - 𝓯𝓲𝓷𝓪𝓵

|| ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ || ⇜ᴘʀᴇᴠɪᴏᴜꜱ - 21

⟿ ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: No sensible person would turn down their boss if they looked good as good as Seonghwa. But maybe they would wish they had…

⟿ ᴄᴏɴᴄᴇᴘᴛ: CEO!Seonghwa x reader, bestfriend!Yunho x reader || Social Media!AU || no gender specified for the reader

ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ: (send me a DM or an ask to be added) @ateezappreciation @shinyddeonghwa @lilithpooped @cloudyyeonnie@yeosangmystar @wooyoung-a @sanisms @mingismoon @lovelyvitamin @anawwyd @annasbannas @im-just-trying-to-survive-man @uglychildd @oddlittlefandomist @hwahomie @jin-neck-shaft @lovelyvitamin @yeosangmystar @skmoonchild @lovelymultiwrites @sunwooyoung

Panic settled in the room as Seonghwa's words echoed in your heads. Yunho was dead, Mingi disappeared, San wasn't waking up and the body was gone.

And meanwhile, you were getting railed in Seonghwa's office. You felt sick to your stomach, not knowing what to do, or where to even start.

"Someone say something!" Jongho yelled, at the top of his lungs, finally breaking his calm character.

The silence in the room was heavy and you suddenly felt as if you couldn't breathe, as if someone was gripping your throat from the inside. As if on cue, San groaned and his eyes fluttered open.

"What the fuck?..." He groaned, as he sat up straight with the help of one hand.

San rubbed the back of his head with his other hand, hissing as he moved it up and down slowly.

You and Seonghwa ran towards him and knelt beside the man.

"San what happened!?"

San sat against the sofa, feeling too sick and too dizzy to sit up straight on his own. He took a couple of breathsm trying to recollect what happened before he blacked out.

"There really isn't much to say, right after Y/N left Mingi asked me to get him something from the kitchen and when I came back someone, I'm assuming Mingi, hit me with something in the back of the head. Next thing I know I'm waking up next to Jongho."

Seonghwa stood up, visibly stressed and irritated.

"Y/N I- I can't take this anymore. I'm tired, I'm stressed out, I wake up, go to sleep and go through the day stressed but I try to keep calm and be reasobale but I just can't anymore! I need to rest, I need time!" Jongho said.

His voice was shaky, his face was red and his eyes were desperate and tired. He had huge bags under his eyes, and he looked as if he wanted to cry, but was too tired to do so.

"I... I know. I know what you're feeling because I'm feeling it too, but the body is gone, and you know that if the body is found we'll all be questioned by the police and if he turns himself in he will also be questioned by the police and we both know that in either case they will be asking questions. The body is decomposing! They'll start asking why he didn't come right away, what happened between the murder and the confession, and it doesn't take much for Mingi to break! If he goes down he'll bring us with him!"

Your voice was unstable from crying, and you, just like every other person in the group, regretted helping Mingi. You should have stayed mad at him. You shouldn't have babied him and helped him cover up a murder. But it was too late, friendship and compassion won over you as if you were in a kid's cartoon where the power of friendship could overcome anything. But it didn't.

"Each of you get in one of my cars. We're splitting up and looking for him. Keys are in the ignition, let's go. The sooner we find him, the sooner it will all be over."

Seonghwa turned his back and started walking towards the garage, giving them no time to oppose themselves to the plan, or to complain at all.

Four motors roared in the garage as each of them left in their respective car to look around. He couldn't have gone very far, it had only been a couple hours and Mingi had no car and no money for a cab.

It was becoming increasingly hard for San to throw off Wooyoung. They had been spending a lot of time together and these past few days he had barely talked to the younger boy, making the latter suspicious that either San had gotten tired of him, or that he had found someone else. Either way Wooyoung was panicking and constantly blowing up San's phone, which was just the cherry on top. After the 10th ding sounded from his phone, San pulled over for a second and called Wooyoung.

"Heeey Woo." He said, trying to sound as sweet as possible.

"San what's happening? Please tell me if you're getting tired of me... Don't give me any hopes, because I really like you."

"What? No Wooyoung, I like you, like... a lot. Really. But I've just been busy with consoling Y/N, and there was a bunch of issues in some paperwork from my part-time job so I had to work on that as well, it's just been a very tiring couple of days, I'm sorry... Can I get back to you once I'm done? I need a little rest."

As far as Wooyoung knew you were still upset at Mingi.

"Alright fine, but I expect a nice homemade dinner once you're free."

"Of course baby."

San hung up with a sigh, relieved that he bought his excuses, and started the engine once more, resuming his search.

San was driving around the town, searching places with fewer people and hidden spots where rarely anybody went to. He ended up in a couple bad neighborhoods, which in retrospect it wasn't very smart since he was riding a Rolls Royce, but they hadn't been making good choices the past few days. Seonghwa headed back to the cabin where they had found the body, you searched every bridge and police station and Jongho went to his apartment.

It was minute 12 of driving around when you received a call. It was a group call with everyone involved.

"The body is back in the cabin. It's covered with all the leaves and shit we put here."

"Don't touch it, get out of there for now. I'm still trying to get to his house, anyone got anything?"

Jongho's question was met with a bunch of no's.

"Well I'm almost at his house and I can see- oh my God. I found him. I found him he's standing on a balcony and I think he's gonna jump everyone get here!"

Jongho hung up and you told Seonghwa the address. Thankfully you were close by and got there in no time. Jongho sprinted up the stairs and by the time you and San got to the house he was trying to talk Mingi out of it. Mingi was standing on the edge of his balcony, on the other side of the railing, but still holding onto it. Jongho was crying and begging Mingi to come to his senses and to come back inside, as he gripped his arm.

"It's no use Jongho, just let me go! This is not up to you!"

You and San got up to the balcony as well, trying to talk Mingi out of it.

"Mingi please! We'll get through this I'm begging you, we can't lose you too!" You yelled.

You wanted to stay composed but you couldn't help the tears streaming down your face. Even Jongho, who was usually very uncomfortable displaying his emotions, was crying and begging.

When Seonghwa got to the scene, he was terrified. He didn't know what to do, which was a common thing throughout the past few days, and it was killing him.

Everyone was pulling on Mingi's left side, trying to pull him up along with Jongho, so, without anyone noticing, he jumped outside the railing, and slowly walked towards Mingi without him noticing either.

Once he was close enough, he grabbed the man and pulled him up and over the railing, while holding himself stable with one hand on said railing.

However, Mingi's selfishness was bigger, and in the end, he showed that no matter what other people did for him, he was going to put himself first.

Mingi was mad, he thought his friends were being selfish and had no say in the matter, so while being saved, while going over the railing back into his house, he kicked it away with all the strength in his body, making him fall back.

Seonghwa, who was holding onto Mingi, failed to grip the railing harder and fell with Mingi, looking into your sad, panic-filled eyes as he fell to his death.

You bent over and watched the man you loved fall, in what felt like slow motion. His body hit the ground, and with an ugly cracking noise, Seonghwa's head split open.

You sprinted down the stairs, and once you got down to the ground people were circling the two men, taking pictures and gasping at the scene. You shoved away everybody in front of you so you could reach Seonghwa. His face was nearly intact, but the pool of blood surrounding his cracked skull told you there was no way he'd survive. His chest moved up and down quickly, for a couple of seconds, indicating the intense pain he was in.

"Seonghwa I'm sorry- I-I'm so sorry! Please... I love you..."

Just as the last three words left your mouth, you could see his lips twitch, before his chest stopped moving, before his eyes lost all of their color, before his body went limp in your hands. You stayed there, holding the face of the deceased man you once loved, your clothes soaking his blood and you cried out for forgiveness.

You didn't dare look at Mingi, but you sure hoped he was dead.

But he wasn't. And in the end. When the ambulance and the police came, they took Seonghwa to the morgue and Mingi to the hospital. Mingi ended up surviving after intense surgery, but not for long, because you would end up killing him.

"You don't get to live!" You told Mingi, as you stabbed gagged him and stabbed him over, and over, and over.

He died in a slow, agonizing way, just like you wanted him to. After all he put you, San, and Jongho through, after the sleepless nights, the constant stress, after staying the love of your life he still thought he'd get a second chance!?

You made sure he suffered, and you made sure he knew how much you hated him as you pierced your old, blunt, and rusty knife into his body.

San and Wooyoung ended up fleeing the country, and Jongho joined the military, both too afraid to face the reality and their past actions, seeking any refuge outside of their past lives. They did end up hearing about Mingi's death, and neither of them seemed to care. After everything, they just gave up on him completely.

You were arrested for Mingi's murder, but after confessing everything, and giving a couple touch-ups where you removed Seonghwa, Jongho, and San from the story, and after leading them to Yunho's body, the lawyer from your case pleaded not guilty, and blamed your acts on the heavy toll the incidents of helping your best friend, and the death of your lover, had taken on you, and the judge agreed that you should be under house arrest, with a government assigned professional that would assist you, take care of you, and report back to court.

Was that the end? Was that all there was to your life? That seemed to be the case... Sooner or later you'd end up joining Seonghwa however, you knew that much, you just hoped he was somewhere waiting for you.