#its just so fun and awesome to make stuff up with that very loose premise

[puhpandas]

I love ggy so much how did they accidentally make the most intriguing hypothetical gay romance ever

[missjackil]

A Dose of SPN Positivity!

For those who know me, they know I love this show.... flaws and all! im critical sometimes, but not overly. Bottom line, I am addicted to the story and Im in love with Sam and Dean.  With Season 14 about to start, and we’re all getting antsy, too much negativity has been flying around, so I want to share some things i love most about the show, and maybe make some of you reflect for a moment and think “Yeah, that is pretty great” and smile.  Supernatural has been referred to as “The Little Show That Could” and to me, its such a fitting description. Logically, on the surface, it looks like it just can’t. I mean, how can a fantasy/horror show, survive with such a low budget, light special effects, and not very scary most of the time. I mean hell, they dont even have that many monsters that look like monsters, so why has it lasted longer than a season or 2? Let alone, 14 seasons with no signs of stopping yet. First and foremost is obvious. Sam and Dean and the actors who play them.  This essay will be full of gushing about these boys, so if you dont feel like enduring such a hardship, scroll on past. if that interests you.....

Yes these 2 fabulous men are the life blood of this show. Without them, we’d have nothing. THEY are the reason, this little show can, and does. Even those who like one and not the other, even if they dont realize it, the one they prefer is who they are because of the other. Both of their qualities and flaws can be directly linked to their influence on each other. If for some reason the other was gone for good, the one left will change drastically. As we see when one is dead or in grave danger, albeit temporarily, the other changes. Sam is no longer sweet, laid back and practical, and Dean is no longer funny, charming, and nurturing.  In fact, they both seem to become an amplified version of their brother. When Sam dies, Dean gets quiet, sometimes too quiet. He also gets methodical and focused. You may get lucky and just get shot in the back, but if he chooses to speak, he chooses his words to let you know shits gonna hit the fan. “You have my brother, and you have one chance, just one, to hand him over, and if he isnt in one peice, when I find you, and I WILL find you, I will take you apart” Sam on the other hand is boiling over with emotion. My boy becomes savage. He doesnt always choose a lot of words to say, he gets his whole point across most of the time with “WHERES MY BROTHER???!!!!” This... my friends, is good stuff! These things couldnt be done with such beauty without Jared and Jensen. Their offscreen relationship, whatever it may be, is wonderful. Theres no denying the love and respect they have for each other. They are very supportive of each other, and help make the other better at their job. They’re not typical actors who have a work relationship but otherwise spend time with each other. They genuinely enjoy being together, and this shows on screen. When two people are this good at their jobs, and with each other, you just have to keep watching. Other things I love about the show, are kinda small. Some maybe youve never noticed, but maybe now you will and enjoy them too, like... Brains vs Brawn: At first glance, we all go Sam=brains, Dean=brawn right? But thats not actually the case. Dean is far from stupid, and Sam is nowheres near a wimp. Dean teases Sam about being a nerd, and Sam doesnt mind, he kinda wears his nerdiness like a badge of honor. Dean will never admit to being a nerd, but he is. He’s read Vonnegut, knows every old west cowboy statistic, and likes LARPing. Sam, though a bookworm, is one tough mofo. hes tall and muscular and has shown to be a little freakishly strong. He can also take a great deal of pain. And though Dean is known more to be the fighter, he can be very warm and nurturing. And nerdy Sam can make you shit your pants with just a look if you piss him off just right. I absolutely LOVE this balance!! Its one of my favorite things! Old school vs New; A lot has changed in 14 seasons. The brothers have grown, as well as the story, but their roots are never forgotten. They’re still driving around in the same car. Hell. Baby has become the 3rd lead! Even though they have mom back, they never forgot her, or dad, and both were spoken of often throughout the series. They refer back to old days often, so we can all get a feel of nostalgia when we remember too. Most episodes bring the deep past up in one way or another, I love this! Loss and Death: I know so many of us complain that they die and come back too much, but I have a real appreciation for it, The circumstances are always different, and so are the methonds of coming back. Sometimes the death isnt serious, or they dont “seem” dead, like in First Blood or Dark Side of the Moon, when there may have been an initial “wtf?” we got to see them in heaven, and in first blood, they came right back. However there was deep seriousness in All Hell Breaks Loose, No Rest for the Wicked,  Do You Believe in Miracles, Swan Song, Red Meat and Beat The Devil that you felt the dying brother’s physical pain, and then the emotional pain of the surviving brother.  No matter how many times they die, they still hit these types of episodes out of the park. WE may know theyre coming back, but they dont. it still crushes them and I love this! Sam and Dean’s Sexuality: I love that their sexual natures are different, but theyre both okay. Dean is sexually active, enjoys porn and vocalizes some fantasies, Though Sam can tease him a little, its just brotherly ribbing, its not judgemental or trying to make Dean feel bad. Sam isnt overly sexual, he’s gone many seasons without sex at all. He doesnt appear to enjoy porn, we know he doesnt like strip clubs, and its NOT because he’s unattractive!! Dean teases him but he doesnt try to make him feel bad. When he has heavily suggested that Sam get laid, its just because he wants him to have fun. Dean even said he appreciated that Sam wanted to stay pure and waited. Otherwise, its okay that Sam is (at least kinda) asexual. Neither are shunned or judged because of their sexuality. Winsync: This is one of the greatest things. if they didnt do this, we wouldnt care, we would never say “It would be a much better show if the brothers mirrored each other, or did the same thing at the same time” but for whatever reason, TPTB wanted this, and it works so well! Its an intimacy we can see without the show going OTT bromantic. Its the connection, the closeness, and being soulmates. I LOVE this! Soulmates and Brothers: Normally a show will make soulmates out of lovers. It’s not often they do it with siblings. It helps justify their deep love and devotion. It adds an additional layer to their relationship. It makes them so tied together that they will share eternity in heaven together, and not just in their memories. This was a very good decision made by Kripke and crew, so we will all know they cant live without each other, even if they just lived in different homes. I love this! Meta Madness: Though I dont like all the meta episodes, I do love the fact they can do them, and DO do them. Because the whole premise is the supernatural, nothing is impossible, even AUs and cartoon worlds. Sometimes I might roll my eyes, but its awesome to me that they can experiment this way and see how it goes. I Love this!! The Bros are Oblivious: Sam and Dean have been through basically everything, and have seen and done everything, yet they seem shocked when people say theyre famous, or when they heard people tell stories about them. Occasionally they grasp their importance, like when they tell people they save the world, but they were impressed that Asa fixed killed 5 Wendigo, and had an Angel Blade, and Father Luca met the Pope. I mean God hung out at the bunker and made them pancakes! Their Heads Dont Get Too Big: Every once in a while, TPTB make sure we, and the boys, remember that they are only human. Even if they lock away Satan, kill Death, save God’s life, they’re just men. Remember when Bobby died and Dean was sure he wouldnt because “its just one bullet!” ? I can see how it would seem so silly to Dean, and even to us, that someone who has lived through so much, could die from a stupid little bullet. I think that one of the smartest things the show has done in ages, was to have Sam tortured by Toni and friend. Sam was so bold and cocky (and need I say sexy?) telling Toni he’d been tortured by the devil himself, and what could she do to him... He soon learned Hell torture or not,  cold showers still suck, blow torches to the feet still hurt like hell, and a mortal human can still fuck with his head. And Dean, well he can still be put on the injured reserve list from a jacked up leg. IMO S12 was great for re-humanizing the Winchesters. I love this! Comedy to Tragedy: Some of the best episodes, started out funny and ended in a tear jerker. Mystery Spot, Just My Imagination, and Beat The Devil top my list. I love the emotional rollar coaster, Coming away exhausted from an episode is the bestthing I can ask for! They havent tried it the other way around, tragedy to comedy, and thats good. If you are crying at the beginning and laughing later, it doesnt justify the grief and you may feel let down and hollow after. SPN is great with having some humor in even the most depressing episodes, but they know when using it and leaving it out is best. I love this! Brohugs: My #1 favorite thing, aside from the hug in 6.1, they have all been beautiful. Not once, have the boys lost the love, or even repeated the same hug. Each one conveys a different message, a different emotion, but all say “I love you more than everything” and I wont ever get tired of them! I would do anything for a single hug in my whole life that had such love in it, as any Winchester bro hug! I.LOVE.THIS!! Now I hope if you read this far, you got to smile a few times, and a spark was added to the fire that you fell in love with 14 seasons ago. Here’s to S14, i hope its filled with all of these wonderful things!

[depizan]

I don’t even mind a certain amount of rule of cool - I do enjoy Clive Cussler’s books, have a certain amount of fondness in my heart for movies like Smokey and the Bandit, and even *gasp* like the near-universally reviled Bond movie Die Another Day - but when it comes to, I don’t know, the last three or four movies I’ve seen, I feel like rule of cool, creator appeal, and similar tropes accounted for the entirety of the script.

(And when someone who’s willing to accept the absurdity that is Die Another Day is banging their head on their desk going whyyyyyyy, you know something has gone horribly wrong.)

I guess it really all comes down to two things:

1. When everything is rule of cool, thrown in because the creator loves it, or otherwise exists purely for that moment’s awesomeness, subversion, or whatever, it stops being a movie - a single coherent story - and becomes a series of loosely connected skits, sometimes to the point that the characters in each skit merely share the same name, but don’t really seem to be the same characters. It’s like Hollywood was taken over by sitcom writers. Bad sitcom writers.

And when everything flips this way and that depending on what’s most awesome, dramatic, funny, or whatever at that particular moment, it becomes very hard to actually discuss a work of fiction. Why did so and so do such and such? The script said so. Why did that thing happen? The script said so. There’s little to no internal logic to follow.

2. While it’s a commonly shared piece of writing advice that audiences are more likely to believe a turn for the worse than a turn for the better, I’m...not actually sure that’s true. I think both have to be sold, at least to an extent. The problem is, possibly because of that writing advice, no one bothers selling turns for the worse any more.

Hell, depending on the genre we’re talking about, turns for the worse may at times need more selling because they aren’t necessarily in keeping with the genre. The mayhem of the cross country chase in Smokey and the Bandit had to remain harmless, cartoonish mayhem, or the genre of the movie would have changed entirely. (Though I’m sure a modern remake would include real mayhem and assume that today’s cynical audiences would lap it up. *sigh*)

...

I am not nearly old enough to be yelling at movie makers to get off my lawn.

Still, somewhere in there there’s an underlying third thing, I think. Something about fun and a cousin to suspension of disbelief that I can’t think of the right word for at present because it is late and my brain is full of cold germs. But a suspension of...funness? of entertainment? *makes vague gestures* Something like that.

It’s about knowing what breaks the tone of a work and what doesn’t. And, just like suspension of disbelief, it’s not going to be the same for everyone. But I don’t think filmmakers are considering it at all, at present.

For that matter, and possibly closely related to that, there’s a fourth thing: whether or not the creators believe in their work. Die Another Day has an absolutely bonkers plot, but it plays it absolutely seriously. I don’t mean that the movie is entirely serious. I mean it takes itself seriously. Smokey and the Bandit assumes that you showed up to watch a movie about a cross country car chase and absolutely delivers on that premise. It doesn’t stop to say that the idea is ridiculous or unrealistic or that you shouldn’t do this at home kids. Clive Cussler’s books have a tongue in cheek edge and he unashamedly writes himself into the stories on multiple levels, but...well...that’s just it...they’re unashamed of what they are.

It feels like there’s been such a shift toward fiction having to be serious and dramatic and cynical and whatnot that the people making anything else end up either kind of mocking what they’re making*, or trying to poke realistic holes in it, or just not fully running with what they’re doing. Because it’s...not worth running with? We can just check the ticky boxes and call it done?

Even the things I’ve liked of late have a decided cynical edge. I’m not sure when I last encountered a work of fiction (outside of fan created things) that was enthusiastically optimistic and fun. Or even just enthusiastically embraced its genre.

(Okay, the second I can identify - that would be whichever of Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol or The Man From U.N.C.L.E. is more recent. I’m not going to say that that ever present cynicism didn’t seep in here and there - and it certainly informed the basic premise and character redesigns in The Man From U.N.C.L.E., but both of those movies do go “I’m a ridiculous spy movie! Yeeehaaa!” There’s a third movie I could maybe add, but its basic premise is too cynical to qualify it.)

Now, of course I have not seen all of the movies, or read all of the books. Maybe I’ve missed stuff. Certainly I’ve missed stuff.

And yes one can argue that the cynicism is more realistic. But god damn it, I want my escapism to be escapist. Is that too much to ask!?

*And not like Galaxy Quest, which really comes down to saying that yes this absurd thing is valuable and loving it just might save the day.

[davidmann95]

why os batman great?

I tend to focus on the guy in the red cape at the expense of my second-favorite character, but let’s make something very, very clear: in terms of the sheer scale on which he and his iconography have imprinted onto the popular consciousness, the ratio of output to quality across all mediums for a character that’s experienced the kind of proliferation he has, and his ability to not only endure but remain at the forefront of the genre he practically co-founded across decades, Batman is easily the greatest superhero of all time.

Explaining why that’s the case is tricky to truly, substantively get right, because there’s a difference between what makes him great as a character, and what’s made him the most popular character in the world. Not to remotely denigrate the attention span/intellect of the average moviegoer or suggest they don't 'get it', but I have to imagine most people don’t love Batman because they've extensively thought about his complex motives and the fascinating symbolism that rules his world, but because he drives the world’s dopest car over to his job of suplexing crime into the pavement, which is valid because that rules. So we’ll start at the immediate mass-appeal stuff and work our way down, and the big one is something we’ve already touched on:

Batman’s cool as hell

There are certainly contrarian souls who would argue that Batman is not, in fact, relentlessly awesome. Think about him for a couple seconds, they might note, and he’s a silly manchild living in his parents’ underground basement who can only emotionally engage as an equal with literal children; they might drive the point home that his particular brand of macho hyper-capitalist performative Hard Man edginess is both shallow and ultimately passe. And if you’re engaging in a character-centered examination of his archetype as in The Lego Batman Movie or Morrison’s work with the character, those are fine points. But in terms of whether or not he’s surface-level cool? Pull your head out of your ass, peel open your eyes, and engage with the larger culture for a second: Batman is as close to objectively rad as it is possible for a concept to be.

Batman wears black body armor and drives awesome cars and sounds like Kevin Conroy. Batman lives in a mansion that also has a cave in it, and wears the slickest suits when he’s not being Batman, because Batman can buy anything. Batman is ripped and sexy.* Batman knows every martial art and parkour and can blend into the shadows, and he has a belt of James Bond gadgets. Batman is a genius who’s always ten steps ahead and can escape any trap. Batman has a pitch-black sense of humor. Batman is vicious even as he’s utterly cool in the face of danger. Batman fights horror movie villains of the supernatural, monstrous, fetishistically disturbing, and plain ‘ol slasher varieties, and wins (when he’s not busy dancing across the rooftops in pursuit of a leather-clad Anne Hathaway/Michelle Pfeiffer/Julie Newmar). Batman’s climbed his way back from chemically-induced psychosis, a shattered spine, and the gates of death, all by wit and sheer brutal force of will. Batman has a city that’s New York and Chicago and Vegas and Hell rolled into one, and when he’s needed it literally blasts his logo onto the sky in public acknowledgement of his supreme coolness, but he also travels the world to other cool-looking exotic locales so he can be cool there too. Batman has theme songs by Danny Elfman and Hans Zimmer. And crucially, in spite of all of this, Batman is tormented. You can argue the validity of those conventions on an intellectual level, but what it amounts to is that Batman is a kickass figure of the night who’s the best at everything and has the best of everything, snarling all the while even as he keeps an air of amused detachment about the whole affair, and those are archetypes that humanity’s long since given the thumbs up as constituting capital-c Cool. We like people who can kick ass, the outlaws, the capable and the mysterious, so long as they’re in good stories that let us buy it. And more than anyone in pop culture aside from maybe Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine - and that dude’s done, while the Dark Knight forever remains - he’s That, the superhero.

* Yes, his depiction is more typically centered around a straight dude perspective of male physical perfection than anything actually particularly sensual or alluring, but the intent’s clearly there, and when you’ve been played by Clooney and Affleck I figure you get to claim ‘sexy’ as a fair semi-universal descriptor.

Batman is spooky

Of course, if cool was all there was to Batman’s general persona, he wouldn’t be cool at all, he’d be Poochie in a Dracula cape (which given it will presumably last until the heat death of the universe is a premise The Simpsons will inevitably have to get around to at some point, so remember you saw it here first). But what backs it up and lets people take it seriously is that he’s spooky. Not necessarily frightening - though he can most definitely be that too - but there’s an ethereal, shadowy aspect to his world that goes beyond the fright mask. It can take many forms for many situations and versions of him and his setting: lurking on a gargoyle over an alleyway, waiting for some poor unsuspecting punk to try and stick up an innocent family only to drag him ten stories up and leave him sobbing for his mother; karate-chopping his way through deathtraps and colorful henchmen, which for all its unabashed fun still carries the air of Halloween pageantry and neuroses let loose; haunting the grimiest parts of an urban hellhole, waiting to burst through the window of a roach-infested apartment or a musty disused warehouse to break bones and spill blood; appearing from nowhere, grappling with mind-bending chemical trips and fighting to stay one step ahead of killers in the shadows, dueling mad rich perverted cultists and literal demons of the underworld, overlooking a shadow city forever in flux to reflect the horrors of the moment. Even at his most innocent, there’s something irreducibly seedy and violent and enigmatic about Batman, and that not only provides immediate distinction and character to him and his surroundings - one that distinguishes both from their contemporaries - but legitimizes the entire enterprise as something that can be taken seriously.

Batman is playful

At the same time, Batman’s fun - even at his most serious he uses Batman-shaped boomerangs, and drives a cool car even though gliding and swinging lets him better avoid traffic. He needs to be fun for the kind of ubiquitous pop appeal he has, and it’s built in on every level of the brand no matter how far away you try and veer from it, letting a character rooted in loss and declarations of bloody revenge work just as well for four-year-olds as forty-somethings. The cave, the costumes, the sidekicks and signal and colorful rogues and utility belt and trophies, they give his world a size and dimension that lets him dip his toe in nearly any genre, with his inherent seriousness backing him up to let you buy him in any of those narrative territories. At the end of the day, the people shaping Batman at least subconsciously know it’s all a game, and in letting him have that kind of fun he’s granted versatility and the ability to invigorate as well as stun audiences.

Batman is emotionally, symbolically raw

And sitting at the heart of it all, giving him the gas in the engine that propels all of the above forward, is that he comes from the most viscerally, broadly relatable place of any superhero. The only one who approaches him is Spider-Man, and even there the meaning of his tragedy is somewhat displaced - there’s loss and guilt, yes, but that’s merely the catalyst for a message of responsibility. Here, that Bruce Wayne loses a concept everyone is on some level familiar with, of the happiness and comfort and stability that family is supposed to provide, is itself the point. He grabs the emotional lever right at the animal hindbrain and pulls until it snaps off: everything has gone wrong, and someone must pay for making things this way. Then for good measure he actually does make them pay while adhering to a righteous moral code that defies all he fights against, elevating himself from spooky fun action hero into myth. He’s surrounded by a city where abstract horrors consolidate down into entirely literal figures - for instance, in Gotham the fear that we can be outfoxed, overwhelmed, and systematically taken apart in service of evil stroking its own ego because we just aren’t good enough to survive is a dick in a neon green hat who likes crossword puzzles (as opposed to Superman’s world of much more personal and basic human concerns blown up to cosmic scale) - and he in turn becomes a myth of us persevering through the worst to fight back.

Batman is genuinely a good character

I place this last because this is really the nuts-and-bolts level. It’s essential, none of the above would work for 79 years and counting without it, but it’s not something many but the hardcore (which includes the comic readers by default at this point) consciously think about. But on the ground floor beneath everything else, Batman’s not just an effective piece of branding, atmosphere, and emotional manipulation, but a good character. In his motivations, with the anger that compels him often making many miss that underneath, he far more powerfully wants to ensure that no one else goes through what he did. The childishness of his methods and mindset regarding ‘the mission’ meeting the maturity of his dedication and brilliance, and the humor that can come from that disconnect (especially when his alternating disgust and amusement with his daytime masquerade as a normal person gets involved). The tentative, essential friendships he’s built with the likes of Gordon and Superman. The fatherly connection with Alfred, and the see-saw of the latter’s feelings of guilt, responsibility, and pride in his charge. The spark of his rivalries at their best. The detective work that can be as thrilling as a good punch-out when pulled off right. The forever changing complexity of the Family, a web of Robins and Batgirls and assorted hangers-on with him at the center, their existence and growth a chart of his own emotional progress and regression. His jet-black wit and self-awareness, his ability to empathize with fellow victims, his difficulties in trusting and openly loving those around him when his world is built on the knowledge of how easily those can be stripped away and how badly it hurts. The paranoia, the compassion, the drive and endurance. Beneath all the trappings, Bruce Wayne is just plain and simple a really, really good, interesting, multi-faceted character, fine-tuned under decades of creators and by his existence facilitating the creation and development of countless *other* good characters. And that’s really all it takes underneath it all to prop up a symbol that’s built empires, redefined cultures, and changed lives: the idea of a good man who refused to give up in the face of a cruel world when it forever scarred him, and made himself something greater to fight back and help others not have to go through it alone. That’s why Batman’s great.

[dontcallmecarrie]

I just binge read TWiFFON, and its sidefic and almost everything that's here about this universe and sadgkjhakjg you're amazing and this is amazing and I love you and this is one of the best fics (out of MCU fics especially) I've ever read. IM1 is one of my favorite movies ever, I love Tony very much and it hurts to see what they're doing to him in MCU (and what they're doing with all the characters, really), and I love your portrayal of him so much, because that's real Tony. (1/4)

Competent, genius Tony, owner of the huge company, the man, who, without the suit, is still the person who’s built this suit. From scraps. In a cave. In Afghanistan. While being tortured. Revolutionizing science on the way. I’m looking at you, Mr. I-Saw-The-Footage(And-Made-My-Judgment-Before-Actually-Meeting-You-And-Decided-You-Suck). Yeah, you can see how I just -love- Steve in this moment in “Avengers”. (2/4)

I always wondered what footage he saw, btw. From before-Afghanistan? From the IM2 Senate hearing? From the disastrous IM2 b-day party? Even if the scepter amplified their feelings, those feelings had to be there in the first place. And AoU and CW just make me go Hulk, so most of the time I pretend they didn’t happen and don’t exist unless we’re talking about -consequences-. It’s been years and I’m still bitter and salty as the Dead Sea. (¾)

Um. Anyways, I love you and your awesome fic, thank you so much for your writing

Glad you’re liking it so far, and thanks! 

Also: same. [the rest is under the cut because surprise meta’s apparently a thing, as are major spoilers, and I get very rambly, RIP mobile users otherwise.]

I got into the MCU when it first kicked off, and my favorite movie’s a toss-up between IM1 and The Avengers [though, due to recent events, I’m really leaning towards the former nowadays]. I love all the characters, and if I had a heart [because no, I don’t, nope, nothing’s ever made me tear up nope heart of stone right here], it’d be hurting because of the turn the MCU’s taken lately, and the level of character assassination I’ve seen is….the best comparison I can think of include the way Naruto ended [specifically, Sakura], or…well, you get the picture.

Just…the turn canon took, after Phase 1, left a bitter taste in my mouth. Tony’s my favorite character, and seeing how the world’s done its level best to break him when his origin story is literally him forging his armor from the guns that would’ve killed him otherwise is something that I have very strong feelings about. Add to that my spite after seeing the turn the fandom took after Civil War, and I couldn’t not write the fic where he actually [albeit accidentally] took over the world, by taking him back to his roots. 

[aka TWiFFON’s basically me venting passive-aggressively about the issues I have with the MCU]

As for my take on Steve? 

Even if it doesn’t look it, I kinda liked his character, early on. The way his character was mangled by the writers is another thing entirely, however, and after Phase 1 my enthusiasm didn’t wane so much as it tanked, especially after Age of Ultron. [ditto as to Civil War.]

But early on? I actually liked his character. My headcanon/take on his approach during the first Avengers movie was him being adrift in a world that’s moved on without him, so of course he’s clinging to what he remembers. 

That ended up being something that SHIELD/HYDRA took advantage of, though, and while Fury tried to help, the HYDRA guys did their level best to sabotage him, which succeeded in ways that don’t show up until later on. For instance, while Fury’s crew was the one to break the news of ‘so you slept 70 years, welcome to the future’, it was a HYDRA contingent that were the ones to ‘ease’ him into it, and so his briefings on history and whatnot were basically sabotaged. 

As in, they made sure to focus on the shitty parts of the past century, and glossed over the progress, and did their best to be subtle about it so that when Fury came around, he thought it was ‘okay Steve’s still settling in and hurting’ rather than ‘Steve’s hurting and everywhere he looks only makes it worse’. I mean, it wouldn’t even have been hard; breaking the news would’ve been dicey enough as is, but I can guarantee that HYDRA would’ve pulled no punches in painting everything to be as shitty as they could. 

I mean, even if they were trying to help, it would’ve been hard enough: because good luck updating the guy who literally did a suicide run to prevent his home country from being bombed about the Manhattan Project. 

That alone would’ve been messy enough, but also going through Korea and Vietnam and the list just goes on, while also trying to go ‘we’re the good guys’, and I’m pretty sure Steve’s faith in humanity would’ve taken a hit somewhere in there. And that’s if it was SHIELD who was doing it; if it was HYDRA instead? Just…yikes.

And Tony has a lot of fodder that could be used against him. 

He’s a powerhouse, a loose cannon, and is very visibly anti-establishment when it comes to some things, so when Steve’s trying to cling to a vestige of the past, it’s so, very easy for a HYDRA technician to pull some clips of Tony’s messing around and gloss over ‘yeah he’s also a genius and built a suit somewhere along the way’ while doing their level best to make sure that Steve does not like Tony, because if those two got along it would not end well for HYDRA so best nip that in the bud. [I’ve got a fic idea that plays with that premise, actually, but…rambling again, oops.]

Doesn’t help that people’s values have changed, either; nowadays, we’re a lot more cynical as to what’s going down in Congress, for instance, or the military-industrial complex, so just right there’s some culture clash. Iirc, pre-Nixon, people viewed what happened in DC differently than they do now, and I don’t think Clinton helped any, either. And that’s just one example.

tl;dr: I headcanon that HYDRA sabotaged Steve’s possible relationship with Tony, among other things. 

Now, when it comes to the world domination thing…

You can probably tell I’m having a lot of fun with it. It’s part of what helps keep the tone of TWiFFON fun for me to write, and I’m choosing to go the cracky route instead of the grimdark serious one because this fic’s self-indulgence at its finest, and my life is stressful enough as is. 

Because, I mean, for me it’s either laugh or cry, and I can’t afford to cry, when it comes to the tire fire that’s going on. I can laugh or cry, so I’d rather go for deadpan ‘so apparently this shit’s more plausible than some of what I’m seeing in the news’ rather than get even more gray hair stressing out over stuff I have no control over. [Playing with power dynamics in a fictional universe where there’s magic and aliens is very good stress relief, is what I’m saying.] Plus, y’know, it gives me an outlet for whenever I see yet another ‘Tony Stark was the villain!’ post. 

You probably know that originally, TWiFFON was supposed to be way darker [and shorter]. However, thanks to…life, I decided to go for broke and went ‘screw it, this is stress relief so might as well go for broke’, and since I love the Accidental World Domination trope…[getting rambly again, oops] 

Thus, why it’s going to take a literal Destroyer of Worlds to break it to Tony that yes, he took over the world. Oops. 

However, since apparently I can’t help but be pedantic about power dynamics and politics and whatnot: it’s probably more low-key than some of my readers are expecting. Here, it’s not going to really show until we reach the Final Battle arc, but I’m trying my best to avoid imperialistic tones where that part’s concerned. 

Like, yes, the fic’s going to devolve to crack by then, but the world domination part’s going to end up being due to basically [heads up for major fic spoilers]:

The world: so 

The world: you have Skynet in your pocket. A horde of them, even.

Tony: guys, you are so grounded why’d you pull that stunt I told you—

JARVIS: *is unrepentant*

FRIDAY: *is also unrepentant*

JOCASTA: *is shamelessly using her full capabilities to help clean up the battlefield*

Tony: JARVIS, you were supposed to the the role model, not the bad influenc—

Tony: wait what do you mean you want me to take them offline

Tony: okay you know what? Fight me

on top of everything else. But the above being the main motivation for Tony’s not stepping down after the Final Battle, and I intend to go into more detail when the matter comes up. [Hopefully I do it right.]

But for the most part?

It’s not like he can put it on his shelf to collect dust or anything, no way does he want to rule the world! Tony’s got more than enough power as is, and he’s happy enough being the Head of R&D. Hell, he’s got more than enough as his plate as is, why the fuck would he want to add to his workload?! Strange, stop laughin—Rhodey, why are you giving Hope money? Thor, you too—what do you mean ‘you lost a bet’? JARVIS, you are so grounded!

aka his life is s u f f e r i n g because he didn’t sign up for any of this, thank you very much, how is this his life, where did he go wrong in his life choices?

Strange, you can stop laughing any time now. Any time. 

…screw it, might as well roll with it. Anyone mind if they call themselves the Federation if any other aliens come around? Or would that violate some copyright law? 

meanwhile, elsewhere: 

everyone at Stark Industries is scratching their heads and wondering where the miscommunication happened before shrugging and carrying along because business as usual now includes world domination, oops

Pepper’s in Maui finally getting her vacation. 

JARVIS doesn’t really mind, as it simply means he has less variables to control for to help keep Tony safe and happy, so he’s completely and utterly shameless about it all. Even if he’s so, very grounded for pulling the stunts he did during the Final Battle arc. 

Fury is in an unspecified location, laughing at Tony while also feeling very proud of him because this is the opposite of a problem and free entertainment at its finest, yes, this was worth it. Not what he’d expected, but most definitely worth the headache.

[just putting it out there to hopefully give an idea of what I’m aiming for, at the end of the fic.] Hopefully it gets across right. Just…world domination, but with a kinda relaxed take on things.

Kinda sorry for the spoilers, but that moment’s one of the ones I’ve been really looking forward to and it’s been the better part of a year and this fic just keeps growing.

[dramaplustautology]

Edgy Fish Dating Sim - Basic premise + Protag Bio

I’m already stressed and it’s only the beginning of Summer so I thought up some ideas for a hypothetical merpeople-themed visual novel for Mermay! 

So I wanted to have 4 routes but I couldn’t think of another sea creature besides crab and a friend suggested Vincent the lost ninja turtle so that’s a no go. We’re down to three because i never want to hear fuck and turtle in the same sentence again.

Anyways! To the actual thing!

Originally just a cool story idea but when i bounced it off a buddy, they asked me when the freaky fish fucking was going to happen. Well, shape of water got Oscars so I don’t have to hide the fact that I’m a horrific scaley though we’re not going to go super super eggville. 

So picture an endless sea where the closest thing to land you’ll get is the arctic. It’s bountiful with endless forests of kelp, huge coral countries, leaving no crevice unfilled. Lives go on forever and if you get tired of that, you throw yourself to one of the Three Eyes of the Storm. 

If there happens to be too many people around to be comfortable, a storm brews around one of three huge sea monsters. You have the Leviathan, a huge serpent who’s movement through the ocean creates the currents. Then there’s the giant octopus guy (i will come up with better names later) who holds the reefs up with his huge arms. Last is the giant shark with teeth that can tear the sea in literal half. He just goes wherever and eats things. When things get too crowded, they choose which places and which people to cull.

Though they aren’t the only super giants, they hold “something” that makes them able to hold sway over the seas like gods. 

But deep below is the Abyssal Plane. The sunlight can’t reach this place and the inhabitants know death. They survive on marine snow (like leftover food that trickles down from the surface which also includes body parts), bones, and each other (meaning mostly that they eat each other but teamwork isn’t out of the question)! 

The closest thing they had to renewable food and resources were undersea vents that pumped out heat from magma flows beneath the bottom of the sea. Those would be quickly populated and quickly stopped working so the Abyssal Plane inhabitants evolved to become these crazy nightmare monsters that fed on each other. It wasn’t fun even though they’re awesome being translucent, multiple eyes, crazy huge teeth, and all that stuff.

It’s said that the merpeople of the Abyssal Plane are all descended from the first who were born from pearls made by giant clams that lived by the deep sea vents. One of these pearls fell into one of these vents but instead of melting, became tempered by the heat, taking in all of its energy before hatching and splitting the earth. The Merperson that came from this Pearl was the only one who could swim up to the surface, survive in the Sun, and stole from the Eyes of the Storm. They robbed the surface of its bounty in the process, introducing Death to them and taking the Bounty of the surface to the Abyssal Plane. Bringing prosperity and immortality to the bottom of the sea, their attributes were shared among their fellow merpeople who then went on to call them the Progenitor or the God of the Abyssal Plane. 

The Main Character is a direct descendant of the Progenitor, born when their species was on the brink of disappearing. They grew to their late teens in an empty dark city with only their parents and the spectre of the Progenitor hovering over the Abyssal Plane. They have a feeling that the disappearances have something to do with the Progenitor stealing from the surface. Plus, the Progenitor made it clear that they want to keep what they stole despite there being no one left in the Abyssal Plane. Though what they stole keeps the Progenitor immortal, over anything they just want to keep the surface suffering. The Main Character doesn’t feel that it’s right so they decide to take what was stolen back to the surface.

Once they succeed in their quest, the Protagonist knows that they will die. But it’s the right thing to do. 

So the protag is sort of a cross between an Angel Jelly, a Cone Jelly, and some other cute monster traits.

The MC is a real cutie and the sea creature friends they make at the surface had mistaken them for a cloud that had fallen out of the sky when they first met. Then once that misunderstanding’s cleared up, they’re mistaken for a human that had somehow managed to get stuck in the middle of the Ocean.

I have a thing for white hair so they have snow white hair and huge eyes that the fish friends mistake for gold discs. They’re petite in almost all ways. Tiny mouth, tiny nose, and they’re quite short but are wearing a billowing white dress or some other clothing, I dunno, that trails behind then as they swim.

All of this is a cover for what they really look like. See, they’re in disguise because they don’t want the Progenitor or anyone else to recognise that they’re actually a deepsea merperson.

Their mouth actually splits open super wide with tons of sharp teeth they could use to tear, bore, or just splinter bones like they prefer to do. They have a vestigial nose because their skin is extremely sensitive and can feel a shrimp twitch its leg from miles away. Said skin can also turn almost completely translucent like a lot of the things that live in the midnight zone.

As for the eyes, they’re real and can see very well in the dark but hurt a lot when they try to move around in the sunlight. That’s why they keep the rest of their 12 eyes closed. They got 6 eyes on each side of their face. The two topmost are the huge gold discs and the other ten are much smaller. All of them usually turn red in the dark but after one of the fish buddies tells them that unlike the creatures in the deep, most surface fish can see red from really far away, they try to make them blue like their photophores (like biolights/lines on the body that light up). Related to the photophores is the tastefully frilly white dress. It’s used to hide bulk of their body under the skirt.

During the Progenitors time stealing from the surface, there used to be an island sized jellyfish that drifted from place to place. It could trawl entire civilizations and was big enough to swallow whales but since it drifted, everyone could see it coming and avoid it but it was just a huge nuisance. It was only super dangerous when a whirlpool or storm flung it really fast. That was until the Progenitor killed it and stole its body.

Currently, the giant jelly’s body is furled up underneath the MC’s dress. It’s basically grafted to their skin so their poisonous blood, stinging cells, and photophores line the thing. Plus underneath all of that are their own super long tendrils (like in the pics but wow in that documentary, they’re SUPER long). There are only two of them sticking out of the bottom of their spine but they can stretch for miles and the MC can move them at will. At night, the photophores light up in a pretty blue colour that attracts other fish. They bite, get stung, get paralyzed, and then the MC apologizes because they didn’t mean to let it loose. The tendrils are supposed to be wound up tight around the treasures they’re going to return.

Otherwise, unlike other merpeople or humans even, the MC just has stubs. No tail or legs, just stubs. The dress is also hiding the fact that they got no tail. They use the finials on the Jelly’s body or their tendrils to move. With it all furled up, they have to flap their arms to get around.

Ok but as for a name to refer to them to make this easier for later, I’m going with Lariat.

[theantisocialcritic]

Archive Project - August 16, 2014 - Anime Catchup

If the title isn't subtle enough for you, I've watched a bunch of anime movies and shows lately and i'd like to talk about my thoughts on all the ones i've completed! Here we go: Wolf Children This movie falls has something that I very rarely see in Anime and endlessly appreciate: subtlety and a grounded, really world story. Granted the actual premise is very much of the high concept fantasy type that anime tends to be, Wolf Children ends up being emotional and powerful enough on its own and a lot of that has to do with the fact that its other elements are grounded in a world and scenario that feels more or less like the real world. The story follows the life of a young woman studying college in Japan when she comes across a reclusive young man. He has a secret that he conceals but the two of them fall in love and he entrusts her with his secret. He is the last surviving descendent of a tribe of people with the ability to transform themselves into Wolfs. Not Werewolves, just wolves. They maintain their personality and the ability to talk in wolf form and otherwise live lives as normal people. The couple fall in love, conceive children and start building a family. Unfortunately, things transpire that force the couple apart and now the young woman is forced to raise her two half-wolf children alone, with little money and understanding of how to raise children that have the ability to become wolves at any time. Wolf Children isn't really a normal anime, its somber, emotional and centers it's drama around the central characters ability to function as a single mother in a difficult situation. It might sound silly but its one of the best anime movies i've seen once The Wind Rises. Check it out! Summer Wars This movie comes from the same director as Wolf Children. I checked it out on Netflix shortly after seeing Wolf Children for the first time and I was very impressed by it. Its not nearly as good as his other major piece but its fun, emotional and engaging enough that it didn't bother me at all. Summer Wars is far more rooted in it's anime origins in style and substance than Wolf Children. In the near future, an ultra advanced Social Network has become the center of global technology in almost all aspects of life. A young tech support member who is working on coding for the social network is pulled away from his job by a girl who needs him to pose as a boyfriend for her extended family. Events are conspiring away from the public eye as a super powered virus has entered the network and is threatening to pose damage to the entire network which potentially included access to transportation, hospitals and global weapons systems. Now only a young group of tech support operators stand in the way of the virus destroying the lives of millions of people. As I said, this movie is FAR more in touch with mainstream anime than Wolf Children. That being said its also a very emotional, exciting and visually fascinating movie to watch! If you have a Netflix DVD account I'd definitely suggest renting this one! Akira My oh my… In the realm of anime movies, few stand more hollowed than Akira, a movie so powerful, emotionally effecting and deep that even great the great Siskel and Ebert loved it. Following the destruction of Tokyo in the third World War, a new city called Neo Tokyo was build up from the ruins. Now the city runs rampant with crime, civil unrest and talk of revelation against its corrupt ruling class. One night, a group of street thugs come across a mysterious individual whom the government immediately arrests. Shortly after that one of the members of the street gang begins to have strange outbursts and fever dreams. I won't reveal too much of the plot beyond that but be warned, you are in for a dark, dank, and terribly strange movie with psychics, super powers, chase scenes and some of the best animation that has ever been put into an anime. Akira is so powerful and influential that it is regularly cited as a notable inspiration for The Matrix. The only problems I really have with this movie are the pacing and the tone. They aren't bad! For me though, the movie felt very slow. That, and the tone was so dark and downright disturbing that I was in a pretty foul mood for the next two days after I saw it. That being said though, Akira is a must see anime movie! Ranma 1/2 Season 1 The works of Rumiko Takahashi are beloved amongst anime fanatics the world over! Her most famous work is the beloved, though notably flawed Inuyasha, which I do very much enjoy! Much earlier in her career though she created a martial arts-comedy Manga titled Ranma 1/2. The story follows the life and romantic exploits of a teenage boy named Ranma. He and his father are training in China at a cursed spring, unaware that it is so, when both of them fall into the water and are transformed. Now whenever Ranma is splashed with water he is transformed into a teenage girl, while his father becomes a panda. Inspite of their curses, Ranma and his father move back to Tokyo, Japan where he reveals that Ranma is to be wed to Akane Tendo, the daughter of a training partner of Ranma's father. From there the story begins as Ranma becomes the center of attention for all the young ladies in Tokyo and similarly for Akane to all the boys. I just finished reading the 36 volume manga for Ranma 1/2 last month and in retrospective I thought it was a really fun story! Its a manga that came out of that wonderful moment in the 1980s when Martial Arts was the coolest thing ever. This was about the time when stuff like Karate Kid and DragonBall were getting popular. For a couple months this year, Walmart had the first season of the anime adaption of Ranma 1/2 for sale and I was lucky enough to pick it up. While not totally perfect, and to my knowledge the first season is infamously slow, I thought it was a lot of fun! It really picks up towards the end of the season when the side characters start showing up and it starts getting into a regular beat that would come to define the series. Check out the Manga adaption sometime! In my opinion its a little better than the anime but this is still dang fun! Ghost Hunt Thanks a lot to FYE for keeping the Funimation SAVE boxes on discount for a couple weeks! I was able to pick up the Shojo Anime Ghost Hunt for less than $20! In this anime, a young teenage girl named Mai meets a strange, distant and very narcissistic Ghost Investigator named Naru. After an accident in which Mai breaks a piece of Naru's equipment, Mai agrees to work for Naru to pay off her dept. The two work together with a team of Exorcists and Medians to solve strange cases and hauntings. Taken as a whole, Ghost Hunt is a surprisingly compelling and interesting anime to watch. It does however suffer from a number of issues, namely the characters. Aside from Mai and Naru, most of the cast lack any compelling character traits to make them fully formed. A few of them get last minute traits thrown on them towards the end of the anime but they are pretty much uninteresting up until then. On the other hand, Mai is a genuine and sweet character that I found enjoyable. Naru works pretty well too, carrying the same sense of "I know everything better than you" confidence that characters like Sherlock Holmes and The Doctor carry, granted with their more humanistic optimism replaced with a duller more world wear affectation. Overall, fun and compelling anime to watch! Attack on Titan Now we get to THE BIG ONE. Attack on Titan is the holy grail of anime to come out of the last couple years. The world as we knew it no longer exists. Sometime in the past, a race of beings known as the Titans have devastated humanity, eating them and driving them to extinction. All that remains of mankind lives behind the a fortress. One day however, a strange, enormous Titan appears and destroys the outer wall of humanities last fortress. Hundreds of Titans are let loose into the city and hundreds of thousands of people are killed. In the aftermath, a group of children swear revenge on the Titans for the destruction of their homes and families. I don't know what to say for this anime that hasn't been said elsewhere. Yah! Its great! Its really really awesome! The characters are well conceived and fully dimensional. The story is powerful and compelling. The music and anime are some of the best in years! Beyond the fact that this anime is at the center of attention for Anime fandom at the moment, there are dozens of reasons to check out Attack on Titan! Definitely do! Thank you for reading! Live long and prosper!