#its like 3am im going insane but anyway

[yarnacle]

there's something so delicious about two [assumedly, ive not scoured their wikipedia articles] straight men being so comfortable with each other. something so comforting in knowing that yeah they've got this wackass sexual tension on screen and [supposedly] off and they're described as each other's boyfriends jokingly and there are endless jokes about their homoerotic relationship and yknow what. they're just fine with that. they say they love each other and they're physically affectionate and they shower each other with compliments and they make fucking soup for each other and. and they're just so soft. there's something so tasty about that. that that's something that's just fine. they are, for all of the jokes and weird energy, best friends and they've got sketchy undertones but they just. are something. and it's weird and vaguely indescribable but that's fine and. and it's just so. i go a bit feral over them.

[sunshinetrinket]

anyone ever tjink about how when qmariana and charlie met up at the trial to get juanaflippa back the first thing mariana says is that he wants to make things work. he wants to try and save their relationship. and the first thing charlie says to him is "i want a divorce". coughs up blood .anyone

[doctorwhoisadhd]

[ID: reply from @seveneyesoup: "okay i'll bite what the hell is blaseball (i looked it up on wikipedia i have a general idea of if but it doesn't like, tell me what it was like following the game at all) /end ID]

this is such a good question that the answer gets its own entire post!!!!! im gonna try to distill it for u as best i can here goes

very much colored by what team u were a fan of if u were like me and in maincord. because a) teams had different cultures / lore / players / etc and b) they also had different stuff happen to them. however everyone did experience the same plot

it was something you could open any hour of the day :) like if i was bored at 3am i could just open blaseball (provided games were running)

you ALWAYS had questions. there were not answers for 75% of them. sometimes it was because the question was never designed to be answered in the first place. other times it was because we just LITERALLY did not know. also, out of the 25% of the questions we DID have answers for, 10 of those percents required you to make a spreadsheet to answer it, and 5 of those percents required you to seek out a specific guy who can answer it for u. the rest could mostly be answered by going into maincord and asking. but crucially the only way to determine which of these a question was was asking anyway.

it was basically like if fantasy football was both. an arg and massively multiplayer and also fucking insane. we were making choices having no idea what anything did and i cannot tell you how many monkeys paw situations there were. we were straight guessing up in that bitch

bits were everything in the discord. goku got incinerated once. there was a bee wedding. my team (the fridays) suckered the mods into giving us a second emoji once. bits got beaten like winnie hess after season 24 day 3 (a dead horse). it was incredible

so many fucking spreadsheets. awesome

THE FAN MUSIC SCENE WAS THE BEST THING EVER. like i think blaseball was probably the SINGLE best fan culture in terms of fan music ever created. it was really, really, really absurdly popular, moreso i would say than fanfic

loring players was so fun everyones ideas were so different and cool. most players were queer it was super fun. VERY VERY queer space and very awesome. it was fantastic in that regard

anything you could imagine probably happened in blaseball.

when in doubt, its a pun. or some kind of wordplay (chances were if u were theorizing, if it was a pun then you were at least close)

the discourse was so bad sometimes though (like. necromancy discourse sucked so bad. like please stop taking it so seriously necromancy is inherently funny!!! also oh GOD yorkcourse that was the WORST. basically ppl were mad that the fridays lored our favorite player as an 8 year old boy considering players die in this game)

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Hellow, i just reblogged that post about the cauldron loving elain and I have been seized with a need to figure out what the hell is going on with that so I shall read one (1) chapter if acomaf to bring me closer to my goal. For the record, I did know about the cauldron loving elain and hating nesta because idk, nesta was angry and annoying when she was dunked into it but elain was just so sweet and demure about it probably, i did not think it was. romantic love. but this is a sjm book so I was foolish to assume there would be a male character whos not insanely horny. Actually, is the cauldron even male? He is in the german version but thats just bc the word cauldron is masculine grammatically. Quick someone draw like, a tumblr sexyman humanized version of the cauldron. actually no, tumblrsexymen are traditionally twinks and sjm hates those. Quick someone draw like, a super buff shirtless man with golden hair, or whatever the color of the cauldron is

anyway, PREVIOUSLY ON: THE FLAMES AND DARKNESS LIVEBLOG we had the Court on Nightmares Under The Mountain Reenactment Scene as I like to call it and can we talk about how Feyre has known Rhys for like a year and only liked him for like half a year and yet she was perfectly fine sitting in his lap nacked and letting herself be sexualized by him. Like, I dont even have any kind of sexual trauma, you would still need to build up sooooo many years of friendship and good will for me to do that for you and you would NOT be allowed to jerk me off!! whatever, lets get on with this, its time for chapter 43

I hate that Rhysand is being all like "i shouldnt have brought you, i didnt want you to see this side of me" when its like, buddy you didnt have to do all this shit you couldve just walked in an been like "Im your high lord and demand your orb" and they wouldve given it to you because youre their high lord and youre demanding their orb. And if he thought they wouldnt have given it to him, he couldve easily come up with a different distraction he just went with the one that sexualizes Feyre because hes weirdo. Like, if hes so cruel on every other day then he shouldve acted really nicely, greeted Keir by giving him the biggest hug and being like "uncleeeee!! :D long time no see :)" and Feyre should have been dressed up as like, the embodiment of spring in pastel green soft shades of pink and but Rhysand still treats with the utmost kindness and respect, now that would throw the Hewn City for a loop

Okay so the reason Rhys broke keirs arm is because the word 'whore' triggered him which is understandable but like, Feyre thought of herself as the Highlords Whore in a very deliberate parallel to Rhysand being known as Amarantha's Whore and Im pretty sure she even straightup thought something about being in the position he had for so many years but she was like, horny about it and the narrative just isnt acknowledging it. Like, theyre not talking about it even though their mindlink was presumably open the whole time bc I remember them flirting through the link, and Feyre isnt even like "oh man, I feel bad for thinking that when its so upsetting to him" its so weird

Rhysand basically said "I will never try to protect you by locking you away, instead I will protect you by killing anyone who upsets you, even when they dont actually upset you and they just upset me" like he and Tamlin are not fundamentally any different from each other, its just that Rhysand is a coldblooded murderer. but its fine cuz he wears black leather i guess

I just realized. Rhysand had a boner when Feyre was sitting in his lap. did that go away when he broke Keirs arm or did he walk out of that meeting with his dick fully hard

Listen, maybe its just because its 3am and Im a little sleepdeprived but this conversation barely makes any sense, these bozos are just completely talking past each other at this point

Rhysand just said something about how Tamlin just locked Feyre up and let her waste away and almost die and Feyre was gonna say "He was trying his best" but Rhys interrupted her like "Dont compare me to him, stop comparing us" when she didnt say anything about that ??? my guy is projecting so hard rn he thinks theyre having a conversation that theyre not even having

And like i would argue that Feyre doesnt even compare Rhysand and Tamlin that much, the narrative definitely does it a LOT, but Ive been reading Feyres thoughts throughout this whole ordeal and I feel like she barely even thought about Tamlin since she sent him that letter

This scene is supposed this big turning point for their relationship and its clearly meant to be really emotional but the only emotion i can feel rn is annoyance with Rhysand because its like, he did have genuinely traumatic things that happened to him but not only is he barely affected by any of them, those are not even the things that the narrative brings up whenever its trying to get me to sympathise with him instead its always just "whaaaaaaa everyone thinks Im nasty and evil just because i keep doing nasty and evil things T-T"

Feyre is being very cruel but in a kinda funny way because its directed at Rhysand rn, i would insert the quote but I am in no state to translate anything at the moment but shes basically like "of course you have to hide your true self from your friends, they wouldnt wanna hang out with otherwise, you burden"

Idk why but the prose being like "my arrow struck him too deep" is so funny to me, it has the same energy as the vampire fics i read where the weird gay one gets his heart broken and he goes "it wouldve hurt less if he staked me in the heart"

Feyre is like "i cant believe he was so vulnerable and shared his sorrows with me and just threw all of it in his face" and I could not give less of a shit, but ive been on a big emotional abuse kick lately so now Im thinking about what if Feyre was just faking having feelings for Rhys in order to make him fall in love with her and be vulnerable with her only to then tell him the truth and reject the mating bond and make him completely break down as revenge for UTM. now that would actually be empowering

Now Feyre is thinking about how shes been using Rhysand for a long time now and come onnnnnn there is such a big power difference between them, I genuinely think its basically impossible for her to do that. Like, hes the most powerful guy in the history of guys or whatever, if anything you were doing bothered him that much he could simply make you stop doing it. hm. now Im thinking about what if rhysand was actually a huge masochist. Now that would actually be hot

Feyre is talking about how all the members of the inner circle suffered and are traumatized and theyve all learned to live with it and, not to extend too much sympathy to Rhysand, but all of the ICs major traumatic events happened centuries ago, his traumatic event happened one (1) year ago and it lasted 49 years i think its gonna take a little more time till hes all better

ughhhhhhh dont remind me of Amrens stupid romance subplot im gonna kill myself

Starfall is called Die Nacht der fallenden Sterne [the night of the calling stars] in german which is so much cooler and more whimsical, shoutout to my gal pal Alexandra Ernst for attempting to reinsert atleast a little bit of whimsy into this joyless world

Also, apparently its expected that Rhysand spend the first starfall in fifty years with his people, his people in this case referring to the Verlarians in the city that no one knows exists and not the people living in his courts actual capital. then again, i guess those bozos are all trapped under a mountain and wouldnt be able to watch it anyway so who cares

Amren said "hes not lucky to have us, we're lucky to have him" like yeah, hes paying you all exorbitant salaries just for being his buddies

God, amrens jacking rhys off so hard rn I cant believe she didnt wanna have sex with him when he asked

btw Im not even gonna dignify all that vaguely meta bullshit about how Tamlin is the golden prince and rhysand is the villain in the stories but the villain in stories is the guy who locks maidens away in towers and rhys freed her with anx kind of commentary because its just stupid, its just sjm bashing you over the head with how subversive she is when Tamlin and Rhysand are basically the same guy with different aesthetics at this point, like Feyre is not making a choice between the goodboy hero and the badboy villain, shes making a choice between a Bad Boy with a Heart of Gold (green) and a Bad Boy with a Heart of Gold (black)

[greensagephase]

Alondra I just read part 13 and I'm screaming!

Life have been very hectic for me lately as I started my new masters, and I needed the time to sit down and properly read the thing that I know now that is my favourite thing to wait for

Its currently 3am, I'm sleepless just like Miguel, chronically staring at my screens as I go through coding and other complex stuff (fr my O'hara era) but I needed comfort and I was like you know what? F this, I'm reading NVC, idk I was gonna stay up late anyways.

After all my rant here are my thoughts, in order probably of how I felt about the fic:

-First of all the SCARF are you kidding me?!? The fact that Miggy keeps it for comfort and reader knows and decides to trick him out on wearing it so her scent lingers on it, fixing it around her aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaghhhhhhhhhh i mean come onnnnnnnnnnn kiss already

-And then Miguel just casually putting the scarf on her cause whatever YOLO just do it, my heart exploded

-AND LORD HAVE MERCY SEND HELP I'M GOING CRAZY ABOUT WEARING MIGUEL'S JACKET

-istg I felt it around me, like a thousand sizes bigger than me, being cozy like a blanket? My heart aches!

-Miguel telling reader to be careful and then she sayind "I'll see you at home" I literally had to bite my arm not to scream and wake up my roomates LOL

-This part got me sooooo longing, cause this is istg my brother and I dynamic with my mom and grandma, is latino coded that I love it, it filled my heart to remember those days.

-AND ALSO HELLO NOT YOU REFERRING EDUARDO YAÑEZ LOOKING LIKE MIGUEL IM HISTERICALLY LAUGHING OMGGGGGGGGG (gotta say destilando amor is an amazing novela lol)

-I can't… are we saying we have a crush on him? Cause… sighs I do.. I long for him -I'm sorry I'm making this notes as I go and I'm ranting but this..

-Miguel… you can hug me any day baby you don't need to stuff a pillow.

-The blanket, the canelita, the talk in the couch… the yearning for physical touch, the new playfulness of Miguel… I was in tears for at least 20 min before I could continue reading.

-Little side note on this… phrase… my mind started to go places where it didn't need to be about my theories on spiderverse lol,please SONY IM BEGGING, I need for 2025 to come asap, I need answers and more Miggy.

-Anyways know that I'm writing this as a live reaction and I just stood up from my chair to go scream at mi pillow when I saw the word

GARIBALDIS, you finally did it I love so much MY HEARTTT IS GONNA EXPLODE!

You have no idea how happy this just made me! AAAAH!

-And in this angsty part… OMG… I swear I needed like 20 more minutes to recollect myself...meanwhile I'll give you this gaby doodle

-Okay add like another 20 minutes after you mentioned that Gaby sang Luna de Xelajú on the guitar, this whole Gabriella convo has my heart aching more, I need this little girl in my life...

-Not Miguel telling reader about his dreams of her interacting with Gabi and Gabriel, I'm on the floor once again, and telling her that they love her and she admitting she loves them too

-So for the next part when reader and Miguel hold hands while sleeping… I'll just share my doodle with you.... I went insane...

-The image of this alone will have me dreaming all night of him i swear, this became to much for my heart to quickly, I can freaking assure you that this is the best piece of FF reading of my life I'm not even kidding, I'll hold your hand as miguel did 🥺

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST

OMG WE ARE OFFICIALLY BEST FRIENDS THIS IS NOT A DRILL PEOPLE

I had to doodle them both, cause hello they for sure were so cute admitting it to each other, and Miguel laughing... AAAAAAAAH!

My friend you ended up killing me with the Chilaquiles part AND YOU MENTIONING IT WAS FOR ME AND THE GARIBALDIS TOO?!?!

ISTG I LOVE YOU, it means a lot to me 😭😭😭😭😭😭

I want Miguel to cook me some spicy chilaquiles!!!! awww! this was just perfect I swear!!

Well my rant ends up here, I'm so sorry it has taken me so long to get to you, but life has been chaotic! I'm so glad I took my proper time to read and enjoy this because I felt so many things reading this chapter, it was amazing as always and can't wait for what's next!!

Sending you pinky finger hugs!

Hola, Ana!! I'm so happy you got to read part 13 despite now busy you are!! Congrats on starting your new masters!!!!!!!!! 🥳🥳🥳 I'm so proud of you!!!! Also, I'm screaming about you being in your O'Hara era, haha!! You're truly embodying him with all the screens and staying up!! But in all seriousness, I hope you're doing well and taking some well deserved time off, at least a few minutes for your mental health :)

Also, I loved reading all your reactions as you were reading the part, haha (I hope you didn't wake up your roommates)!! But now, time for me to rant about this chapter, too, because it's been one of my favorite to write so far!!

The scarf moment - the way reader tricked Miguel so she could wear it and keep her scent on it, him placing it on her the next time!! He was bold for that and playful which skjksjh, I love this side of him !! But | agree, need them to kiss already !!!! (currently fighting thoughts on them kissing and doing more 🫣🫣 the thoughts are just too much)

Reader WEARING MIGUEL'S JACKET, I'M SO GLAD YOU MENTION IT BECAUSE I WAS SCREAMING ABOUT IT AND MIGUEL'S REACTION - mans brain was buffering 💀 but also imagine wearing his jacket?? I need it 😮‍💨 imagine how comforting it would feel? And his SCENT (I'm normal about this, I promise)

sjshJSsk reader telling Miguel, " I'll see you at home" - just me being silly, and giving you guys and myself a little taste of the future 😌 (once again, the thoughts are consuming me)

Okay for the telenovela part, I was like gotta include this because this was also an evening thing for my siblings and me with my parents. I also love thinking about Miguel having these Latin experiences, so I was like imagine Miguel and Gabriel sitting at the dining table doing homework while Conchata watches the telenovela? Plus, it gave me an excuse to include Gabriel because I seriously love him so much!! So, I'm so happy that this little scene allowed you to reminisce on your childhood!! 🥺

ANA I WAS HOPING SOMEONE WOULD MENTION THE EDUARDO YAÑEZ REFERENCE - THANK YOU!!! I had to after seeing people on tiktok saying Miguel kinda looked like him months ago lol and well, me personally, I had the biggest crush on him growing up 🤭 (and real! Destilando Amor is one of my favorite telenovelas !!)

About reader maybe having a crush on him because she realizes she's found someone like Peter in Miguel....um, no comment. But I definitely have a crush on him (I love him)!!!

And Miguel stuffing a pillow into reader's sweatshirt - SAME!! I'm like, just come and hug me, Miguel, no need for the pillow (imagining things right now)

The whole moment with the blanket and canelita to have this talk about Miguel's past - I wanted the moment to be as comforting as possible for Miguel with how heavy and sad the talk was going to be. 😭 And then, both of them yearning for physical contact (because Miguel is definitely yearning for it, if it's not clear!!) I just really loved it because now we have not only reader but also Miguel wanting more physical touch!!! I can't wait for them to finally hug fr!!!

Ana, I would love to know about your theories regarding the multiverse and universes collapsing because it's something I've been thinking about. I literally think about it and then just stop because I feel like I'm losing my mind over it. I NEED ANSWERS!! And more Miggy content, too 😭😭

THE GABY DOODLE HAS KILLED ME - SHES SO CUTE!!! LOOK AT HER CHEEKY SMILE - THE WAY I WOULD'VE CRIED IF I SAW THAT PIC LIVE WITH MIGUEL !!! The Luna de Xelajú mention with Gaby - I hurt myself with that one ngl and I feel you!! I know Gaby has little screen time in the movie but I just love her so much and I wish we had more content of her and Miggy (Sony I'm begging for more content of them happy plssss)!! But no, seriously, I would love to have her in my life and look after her (I would even raise her, let's be real) She's such an angel 🥺🥺

The part with Miguel telling reader about his dreams and her being part of them, and how she interacts with Gaby and Gabriel and how they love her !! And then you also have reader revealing that she loves them, too - AHHH!!! It's like, you guys should marry already pls (Gaby and Gabriel are probably watching from somewhere like, "éstos dos..." 🫠 Gabriel probably tells Gaby that, "Your dad has one of the brightest minds of all time, but he's never been good at this romance thing. So, I guess we need to give him time.")

OK OK OK OK YOUR DOODLE OF MIGUEL SLEEPING AND HOLDING HANDS WITH READER AHHHHH!!!!

He looks so dreamy and cute 🥺🥺🥺 I love it so much I'm just staring at my screen (again) with heart eyes!!!! Thank you Ana ❤️❤️❤️ I'm so happy you liked this moment because I was screaming and ventilating the whole time while writing it!!!!!

AND YES, IT'S HAPPENING, WE OFFICIALLY HAVE THE BEST FRIEND TITLE (almost 200k words later) BUT WE GOT HERE!!!! And we had some hand holding action (I've been waiting for this for months ngl!!!) I'm so proud of them finally admitting it!!!

MIGGY AND YOU, ANA -IM- THEY'RE SO CUTE AND MIGGY LAUGHING 🥺😭I LOVE THIS!!! You guys look so cute!!! I hope you draw your spidersona with Miggy more because they just look so cute together!!!!!! (when do we get a spidersona reveal fr?) BUT SERIOUSLY LOOK AT MIGGY !!! NEED THIS MAN TO SMILE AND LAUGH

Omg and the food and mention- I told you I was going to add the garibaldis and chilaquiles!! I was planning on including them in part 12 but then the flow of the chapter changed, so I decided to leave it for part 13!! I'm glad it made you happy!!! I thought it would be nice since you've told me you love both things (and I also love chilaquiles with all my heart), so I'm happy you loved it!!!! And girl, me, too!!! I want to sit down and drink coffee with Miguel and eat pan dulce, and then have him cook spicy chilaquiles - PLSSS !!!

I'm so so happy you enjoyed this chapter, friend!! I enjoyed reading your live reactions to it hehe, it made my heart explode with happiness!! And please don't apologize, I understand completely about being busy!! I hope school, work, and life in general is going smoothly for you!! I'm rooting for you and again, CONGRATS ON STARTING YOUR NEW MASTERS!!! I'm so, so proud of you 🥹

ALSO NOT YOU SIGNING OFF WITH PINKY FINGER HUGS !!!! AHHHHH I LOVE THAT AND YOU!!! THANK YOU FRIEND!!!!💖💖

Sending you pinky finger hugs back!!! <333

[miradanii]

MTMTE/LOST LIGHT First Time Read

Short time text text because it's 4am. I had to finish it...The Lost Light was short and I had 4 chapters left. Had heat exhaustion twice in one week, lack of sleep for days but I couldn't help but finish just so I can go back and reread parts I didn't understand/have an excuse to finally look up this comic without massive spoilers.

I had never read a lot of long ass comics. But wow have I just had a wild ride. I think it took maybe two and half months to read this? Maybe more. One of the few things I had difficulty with reading but pushed through because how captivated I was with the story and its insane cast of characters. I have tons of new favorites I will now create powerpoint slides to present to my friends now on how much I've enjoyed my time with them.

I am so thankful for the internet due to these comics being out of print. And my past self just happening to own volume 1 of Dark Cybertron and never donating it despite not fully understanding what it was until this year. I hope these comics get reprinted one day but I guess for now I'll hunt down copies because I think I want to do these comics a service by having physical copies...

Anyways I 100% recommend this series as a first time reader for reading any Transformers comics. It was pretty difficult at first but I got the hang of it for a while. Not sure it helped that I was already familiar with a lot of the characters already like Rodimus, Megatron, ect. ect. ect.

Here's a link to a reddit post about the order for reading MTMTE/Lost Light. Though, when you come to Dark Cybertron it comes it two volumes so you don't have to switch between MTMTE and RID issues. Like I said I have the physical copy for Volume 1 of Dark Cybertron but mistakenly went back to reading MTMTE and had not realized the issues were alternating.

The reddit post mentions it but I was dumb and didn't fully read it. I just kinda kept going to the next page with a jarring lack of information thinking a lot of stuff was happening off screen.

Immediate ending spoiler nonsense thoughts down below:

Yeah the ending note made me tear up. I am in the mist of consuming a lot of Transformers Media before Transformers One comes out...I had decided to read MTMTE because I think I wanted something that I felt when I watched Transformers Prime. More detail in the characters. I think I flipped when I found out Ratchet who I've seen 3 iterations of on tv has a love interest. Megatron and Optimus have like....just...yeah it's gay. Unhinge divorced but never married gay interactions, then there's more gay, then idk I just started learning more and more about it all from just doing research all for a powerpoint party I hosted and because it was my birthday I was able to go up to 45 minutes due to birthday privileges.

Like I can go from liking Megop to MiniMegs? Is that the ship name? Idk it's almost 5am. But it's not even about pairings at this point, I'm going on an insane fucking adventure. I'm reading this shit in a King's Hawaiian parking lot now being part of my core memory. Actually that part does have a pairing. I'm seeing this:

I went through emotional toil in a restaurant parking lot with my friends to see and not understand the shock I'm having after I get out of the car.

I understand the flowers. That's a fuck ton.

I technically got spoiled about who Rung actually was but it had been so long I actually was STILL shocked when I found out at around 3am. Though...I didn't know he fucking died. Guys he fucking died. I think he came back or its one of his children idk man he fucking died and there's a character with a very similar color palette to him in Cyberverse.

On a random note I guess they weren't that close but Im surprised there wasn't a conversation between Nautica and Chromedome about forgetting Skids in a sense of grief. And it just kinda happened to her...Though I am glad she was still prioritizing Velocity.

Okay so Terminus just dies off screen and Megatron never finds out that he gave him the wrong location?? Damn. But I guess it was no hard feelings when he reunited with the Lost Light so that's all fine and dandy.

This is the one of the few stories where I am proud bullshit with no further explanation reunites tragic lovers. This series lets me live. I mean there was a very simple explanation why Tailgate didn't fade away from Cyclonus' arms but when that moment happened I was like yeah fuck it let them be happy. Of course Kaput was gonna go Kaput but rip can't believe it had to get Tailgate involved.

Ah Anode and Lug were cute! I think it took me a bit to warm up to them but I think I start to like characters when they start having fun dynamics with the rest of the cast. Anode and Swerve pranking each other on the shrinking ship with all hell breaking loose with the rest of the Rod Squad is just...yeah that whole chapter was paced so well.

Okay Whirl didn't just win me over, he snatched my heart and made a clock out of it with his lil pincers. I love this fella. He's such a homie. Top 10 in my list of characters with best character growth.

Okay okay...so the ending right...I knew Ratchet died in the end. Or a portion of the end. But it still caught me off guard. Not to mention I thought Tailgate had died in the end too. I mean it was technically true. But still...ouch. I saw the panel with the Rodimus Star and thought it was so dumb. Had no idea that it was so much more impactful than I thought. Legit before knowing the context I thought Rodimus didn't want to give his most inner energon and gave a Rodimus Star instead. Oops.

I've seen panels of Minimus and Megatron interact and had no idea that it was from the final issue.

5:31am

This series has given me a small portion of joy I couldn't feel for the past few months without it. A boost in creativity and expanding a range of wow that's a lot of fucking insane shit that can happen and still be fun huh?

[grimesapologist]

this week has started off so well im v happy, i ended my new year hibernation/social isolation and saw my friend misty on monday we watched wrestling and did some insane creative mixing and smoked a lovely spliff

yesterday was also amazing i did a really lovely shoot with my friends v and maya and i was gifted the most amazing hoodie ive ever seen in my life (its huge + cozy + has little ears/horns on the good fyi), then we went back to v's to try the hash butter they made and play w their new oculus vr headset (also id assumed i wouldnt be able to use vr while being vision impaired bc of no depth perception and i bought a shit headset a while ago that didnt work for me but, turns out i can use vr im just incredibly shortsighted)

anyways in vr we played this zombie game which was so scary but also mind blowing i punched a zombie and then looked at my hands in vr and they were newly covered in blood it was insane, maya was also using vr for the first time and was even more scared than me it was so funny to watch then v had a turn and showed us how its done before dying to really fast scary zombies.

then we did vr skyrim and the hash butter starts hitting just as i arrive at the standing stones, i realise bc the big light goes up into the sky and i looked up in awe like "woooowww". vr skyrim is a lot worse than regular skyrim (both graphically and mechanically) but is so so fun

anyways edible hits.exe enable silly-goofy mode mischief ensues, good times were had by all then incredibly stoned we realise we have to go play pool in 30 mins, which we manage somehow

i played pool from 9pm to 3am last night for my friend atay's birthday, the music at the pool place was so good very 2019 clubcore w a reggaeton uk drill twist, planned making a song w my friend mimi called the horrors soon, learned how to actually play pool too, won like 3 games just generally had the most fun i love my friends

[obitv]

hi you happen to be mechs posting as i am currently in the process of getting into the mechs. leonardo dicaprio pointing meme at your tbi posts that's the album i partially listened to yesterday

LISTEN TO IT. LISTEN TO IT RIGHT MEOW!!!!!!! also its fun to realise the mechs released tbi while jonny was writing tma and like hoo boy does it fucking show. jesus christ. anyway listen to yhe mechs yes yes listen to once upon a time (in space) at 3am top volume thru yr headphone just after finishing tma and have a complete spiritual experiemce that fundamentally changes you as a person. thats what happened to me

alsoPLEASEEEEEE PLEASE PLEASE listen to tbi fully i BED that album ismt music its an EXPERIEMCE listen to it in one sitting with ypur best headphones and rediscover sound.or something. im going insane they genuinely chamged me i will never be the guy i was before i listemed to the mechs

[arlecchno]

you never fail to keep me up til 3am to catch up on MA istg (/pos) its so hard to keep myself from squealing and going batshit insane whenever i get to read the cute parts SHDKDJKS . i also love trying to solve these fictional cases in my head as i read (both of the ones ive solved before main cast were serial killer cases , isnt that just a /craaaazy/ coinkadink ahaha) . i was like 🤏 close to making a meme-y google slides bulletin board for my theories like i did with another one HAHAH — anyways , your writing is sooo nice its literally so easy to immerse into your chapters its insane and im such a sucker for whatever the fuck subgenre (?) MA is . its honestly one of my top favorite fics all time (like , you combined so much of my favorite things - how have you done this ?! scara , rivals/enemies to lovers , slowburn , forced proximity AND a fucking detective au ??? im sold .) if only i had more scara likers to share it with SIGH … anyways , before i get more carried away than i already got ill do us a favor and cut myself off . i absolutely adore MA . HUGE thanks to you for writing such a masterpiece , OKAY BYEEE :D

- jellyfish (if i ever come back LOL interacting is so scary HEIDJEJ)

jellyfish, whoever you are, wherever you are right now, i love you. seriously. i have been sobbing uncontrollably reading this.

also the fact that you were also trying to solve the case for this series is SO!!! COOL!!! you have a specific board for your theories on solving cases on fics like these??? and you've solved them before the main cast did??? absolutely fucking amazing dude i can't imagine the many theories you have in mind while figuring out who the serial killers are... even i can't wrap my head around my own fic sometimes.

and i won't deny that all of those subgenres are my favourite too!!! it's insane how i managed to gather them all up into one fic. i'm really glad there are people that sincerely enjoy reading genres of fics that revolve around crimes and unsolvable murder cases, and i'm glad everyone here liked my version of it! thank you so much for sending me this long ask, as i too, have gotten myself carried away by writing this as i brainrot over ma once again, lots of love to you, jellyfish !

[faerociousbeast]

since i no longer consider myself a genshinner i will share some of my thoughts! epic! do not try at 3am. leaks and its long and stuff warning

- i dont like in game yelan ayato or childe sorry. rich 5* hydro users just arent it for me i guess especially if theyre bows.

- yelans design however objectively speaking i can see why so many like her 👍 go girls

- heizou also i am not a fan of 😕 Unfortunate! hes made me lose my detective liking streak

- i am bad with bows i am so bad with bows.

- idk how i feel about tighnari anymore. a lot of my negative opinions are fandom based tbh and its not the characters' fault for that but w him, the instant switch up was so insanely obvious im kinda iffy about he himself 💀💀 dont c/ynonari me

- also his voicceee 😭😭 never any hate to the vas but its so bad. i dont like it. i have him and made myself do a challenge where i got however many waypoints in sumeru in my ar 55 world using only him at level 11 so i can make this judgement.

- c/ynonari is genuinely.... fhwhhrgegrggrgr LIKE ITS NOT BAD i guess, no comment as far as me being cyno goes, but it just got so popular so quick it jumpscared me

- al-hai/tham. another im more so irritated by what you represent otherwise i probably would like him better. boy why are you white

- kav/eh too man like half of these designs would Literally Look Better With Slightly More Saturated Skin what is going ON!!!!!!!

- i personally dont care for kusa/nali for yk colourism reasons too but there very much is a. well the men are hot. lets get mad at the women tho

- ni/lou is the okest so far for cultural representation but her i just dont care for

- uhhhh. hm. what THE HECK is faru/zans design..... bro... its so bad im sorry? PROFESSOR?? huh? what? 3* design behaviour

- same w nah/ida 😭😭 dont argue against me i get it shes a kid cool nice her pale design is literally not interesting to me its. whatever. thats a 5*? lmao ok

- god...... actually this isnt even a my opinions list its jyst a things-that-were-ruined-for-me bc racism bht everyone else ignored it which ruined it for me more. anyways the harbingers.

- they knew what they were doing with the release time on that and everyone ate it up and it makes me sad bc i was genuinely very invested in the harbingers! but then theyre all shown all at once at a time like that huh. gross.

- idm scaras new design its cool its jhst we got TOO MANY BLUE GREEN PEOPLE 😭😭 change it up!!! his old colour palette or whatever was unique that what was nice ab it. yeah but his new colour scheme is getting a bit old sorry.

- the stepping on is funny for his burst everyone getting mad at it but not raidens is irritating tho

- layla is like..... people ARE being dramatic but i get what they mean on the voice. change it up a little we dont need more high pitched stressed girls my god!!! oh wait this is an anime waifu game

- i love itto 👍 NOBODY TOLD ME ABOUT HIS PERSONALITY. he was another ruined by the fandom bc LITWRALLY ALL I KNEW ABIYT HIM, BEFORE I DID HIS QUEST, was he had abs. thag was it. that was all anyone evr told me. he had slightly more abs than all the other skinny twinks. j dont care aboyt abs so i didnt care about him its that sjmple!!!!! why didnt anyone tell me how great he is!!!!!!!! wtf!!!!!!!!!!!! injustice

- AYA/THOMA IS SO OVERRATED oh my god stop talking

- itto/rou seems to have died down? or idk im interacting with the right people

[pearlzier]

OMG DUDE I JUST HAD THE CRAZIEST LIKE SLEEP PARALYSIS DREAMS EVER LET ME TELL YOU OKAY SO THE first one i could like choose my dreams like there were multiple doors open and one of the doors had like a walk way with candles and the other door had like a grey tint and that was my room but j always chose this werid option idk how to explain it but just know billy butcher was on the tv and thats how i picked like my option i had to click something on the tv i forgot what the option did but like i was NOT about to go through a door anyways so i go baxk to my room right like i “woek up” in my dream right and i thought i was wake fr and loke i went to the bathroom in my dream and everything and looked in the mirror and like started counting but my mouth wasnt synced so i knew i was still dreamingand like i started hitting my arm and pinching my arm but it didnt work and then i went to my room in my dream and something else happened but i forgot but then i woke up like fr THEN I ACCIDENTALLY FELL ASLEEP BC IT WAS 3AM ALMOST 4 BC MY SLEEP SCHEDULE IS SO BAD BUT ANWAYS so then the second time this one just happened bro like at 4:50am so i accidentally fall asleep right so i was sleeping in tbis dream and like there was a demon and tbat shit like started possessing me like i saw its eyes and everything like it started posseimf me and i cpuldnt speak to preach ang jesus stuff like i could not speak bro and then it stopped and i tried to wale up but didnt work and then it possed me again and it lokweu hirted so then i get up in my dream and go to my mom and im like i cant wake up help me and like bro she wakes up and was like what and then i was like this aint real!! and then i actually woke up so heja this was frazy!!

THIS IS ACTUALLY INSANE ANON ARE YOU GOOD WHAT. stop last time i had sleep paralysis this woman was screamimg at me and chasing me or some shit this is on another level

[that-kid89]

03.26.2024

numb the pain. <- song of my day

but like a happy day for me? tbh definitely ended on more of high note, a spark of hope after being unemployed for a week now.

i feel like i could write 15 sentences at the same time right now.

madness, insanity, sickness, disturbed, panic.

ecstasy, highs, journeys, toys, wanderlust.

modest, numb, emotional, passive.

literally just writing random words that pop in my head. feels like gonzo clarity. check me if it's narcissism. too much pride.

daily average for screen time on my iphone is 3.5 hours for the 3 days this week.

read and skimmed all the back to my opener post. i initially felt bad, sad, and let down. reading my thoughts of love for heather, but more so my feelings towards my self. talking to myself in this blog, scolding him nearly. listing my needs and realizing where i sit that i made not one attempt at getting those things. were they really needs or just fantasies though.

kinda feelin like fuck all that shit. maybe its the beers and esteem boost from my first hearing back on one the applications i sent out in the last 7 days.

whats always wild to me, is how i can drift off into my dreams, when i'm awake. the rare night where i just daydream and not even sleep. its so crazy to me, and i dont recall talking about that seriously with someone. wish i did with heather. but also the stimulation i get from twist my hair into knots. sometimes it hurts so good. but i get mad when it's really knotted, and i gotta rip it apart, usually with hair being ripped out. insane.

talking about today now. woke up late, but earlier than i thought after falling asleep around 3am. tried not to drink but caved last night and had a few swigs of casamigos followed by a lovely beer. technically counts as today! well i suppose only the events beginning at 12:00am. fuck it, yeah so i woke up, and funny i keep checking my phone for all kinds of notifications. first thing i read was a message from christian on insta about the boat hitting the bridge in baltimore. this is recent to the mass shooting in russia, god damn dark news. still seeing a bunch of posts about necann. i'm glad i've been to events, but felt i had no place going this year. i don't think i've been when working in the industry, but definitely when i was younger. took a much needed shower today and trimmed up. then went to whole foods and petco. nearly bought the exact same things from each store, from i got yesterday. took the amg out though, and always get excited to drive that beast. let it warm up right, cold start was rowdy as always. deffs got some good pops and bangs. fuckin car is so quick too, and so exhilarating. however i did get this great beer as well called "termination". spent a lot of time looking at crafties to get, and ultimately chose this one although it being a triple ipa. 10% abv and damnnnn smooth. i'm on my second one tonight. sipping out the duvel big round chalice that i got from an xmas yankee swap one year. but anyway, getting a hit back on an application from only yesterday was an esteem boost. seems like a company tha could really use my help, and that they'll have a lot of work cut out for me. falling in love a bit quick as i do my homework on them. keeping in my mind that its only a teams meeting planned for next week but was still the first i've heard in a week. this last week has felt like freedom. but also emptiness. i do miss my last job, and still trying to get a good understanding of how it ended. but it feels a lot like the lat time heather and i broke up. i had reached my breaking points with them months ago, and never recovered. but they cite a recent mishandling of a heroin related customer incident at the store, which i can see how they perceive as mishandling, but damn it really felt good to get fired. i just walked out they of my term. instant relief, not much to finalize with them either. anyway

running out of steam with my writing. im glad i did. btw, song of the day came from nowhere. i somehow had the song stuck in the head, and i searched a rough idea of the lyrics with xxxtentacion and nailed it. i've had it on repeat all day since. had it on loop in the car, and had it on loop during this whole session. a classic way i've listened to my favorite x songs, a repetitive lyric design with just guitar chords or sample. feel like he's here with me, just sharing his emotions with me.

came to love his music after a distinct memory of mine, being when i shurgged off his death as i read him to be an abuser in his relationship. came to realize he had remorse in his actions, and was on a mission that i never would found out myself. this girl told me he was one of her favs, and that's when i got into him. his music still took time to grow on me, but ive now listened to most of his music, and i think all of his albums, all the way through, multiple times. 17, ?, skins, bad vibes forever, and some of his early stuff from mixtapes and singles. but yeah, quite a learning and growing experience. ending sentences on the 4 beat, or like a significant strum or beat, just feels so good.

rest in peace jahseh.

thank you for helping me open up my mind in so many ways.

here's to me, and the life i've lived and will continue to complete. excited to see where life takes me. for now, a nostalgic night of no responsibilities, weed and beer.

signing off.

[sinatsu-kun]

my life had always revolved around other people and their presence. i wasnt the person i was a month ago, society is too demanding to the point that it is required for me to conform to its standards, or else.

it has been a long while since I've tried to think alone, depersonalizing myself and not recognizing the image im showing other people. what is my true identity? i find this question very challenging to answer for myself.

dont get me wrong, this rant is not meant to display any anger or derogatory emotions toward my univ friends. it's solely directed to myself and how i perceive myself and to society as a whole.

i know deep inside myself that i dont like many people, i dont like noisy places, yet, i had fun when i was with my friends last time we drank.

is this because of the hardships we all mutually experienced? the prelims period? our almost one year of being with each other? or is this just because of the dance of alcohol intoxicating our bodies?

eitherway, looking back, my point is, why do people change their behavior towards other people? why do we have multiple personalities depending on the people we're with?

and why do i sometimes feel like im being controlled to act the way people/society asks me to do?

going back to the point i made earlier, society is too demanding to the point that it was required for me to conform to its standards, or else,,

or else i would prolly be labeled as boring

or else i would have no friends

or else my family wouldnt accept who i am

or else my loved ones would not love me back

or else i would be irrelevant, an outcast, away from everyone else, sitting in a corner with insanity the only thing thats holding me back.

crazy to think is it?

and if you delve deeper, you would realize that it's not just me, it's you too, everyone in the world is being "controlled"(s.l.) by one another.

it would only be up to our choices who would we want to "control" and who would we want to "control us".

——or is this just another question of whether if it's actually a choice or no? 👽

as harsh as everything sounded, the depersonalized me at 5am believes this,,, but when i actually wake up i know i might not believe this anymore.

lol ig it's time to sleep, now i actually wanna wilt in this bed until someone wakes me up

,,,,,why did i forget that my therapist was writing weird shit at 3am while crying and basking in loneliness.

anyways, thanks for passing by, fellow human.

[todayisawthewhxlewxrld]

WOAH WISNWJAM I ALMOST FORGOT TO SEND MY ASK AGAIN OOPS

DUDE MY DOG WOKE UP AT 3AM AND HE JUST WENT BACK TO SLEEP— ITS CURRENTLY 7AM 😭😭

im so tired and i dont want to go to school i swear i can feel it my spanish teacher is planning something. WATCH HER MAKE ME SIT NEXT TO THE ANNOYING GUYS OR THE EX CRUSH OR SOMETHING WJEJWKENJE

anyway how are you?? good im hoping!

OKAY BYEBYE ILYSM 💗💗

-bambi

I TELL U PUPPIES R EVILLL not rlly but dear god to they take u to the brink of insanity and then back again LMFAOO hopefully they sleep more tonight!!

just start swinging at ur spanish teacher at this point tbh like what else r u supposed to do

YES IM GOOD TEHE BYE BYE ILYT!!!

[caruliaa]

i was abt to say "ok its not that late but" but then i realized it kinda is that late like almost 3am. im j insane and dont think of that as that late AHBHABH but i am really really tiredddd so yeah im gonna go to sleep rn im sorry i havent answered ur asks but !!!! i did wanna send this to say that vcing with you and chatting and hearing ur voice and watching the cs weekly was sososoooo funnnn :333!!!! and in general it is sososo much fun and so lovely and brings me sm happiness and joy and light and warmth to be your friend like you are suchhh a wonderful caring thoughtful lovely frienddd mx and you are also on top of that such a loveable lovely good amazing kind personnn my beloved mushroom:333!!! and i just feel so grateful to know youuu and i want u to know im here for u and care abt u smmmm and i love you sososoooomuchhhhhh (hugsyouuuuu if u want !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!💕💕🫶🏻🫶🏻💕💕💕🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻💕💕💕💕🫶🏻💕💕💕💕)

nono i get that as someone who alsoo doesnt think of it as that late OFJFJD i mean both of us have messed up sleep schedules we just have them together and that is beautiful and the definition of love and friendship <3 but also we are both also always so sleepy tired so perhaps it is not that much DFGSDFHDFGDF anyway dw abt not answering my asks i understand with the sleepy tiredness and !! ough omg ur soso sweet love i hope u know ;; i really had sm fun vcing with you too love it really was soso lovely i think watching csweekly together and just talking with you and hearing your voice just really was so so wonderful and brought me sm joy and light and warmth and im so so glad that it was the same for you love because i really do just want to like. bring as much joy and light into your life as i can love and in rly glad that i could and i do in general my love and i hope you know that you really are same to mw and are just such a wonderful kind caring thoughtful friend to me that makes me feel so so loved and cared for and safe warm with you love i hope you know and just !!! you really are just the most amazing wonderful person im my life and the world dearest you really are just so so special and dear to me and i hope you know you really do mean the world to me and im always always always here for you whenever you need me and i really do just love you so so very very much my dearest w all my heart *hugs you back so so much if youd like !!!!* 💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💗💗💗💗💗💗💕💕💕💕🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽💞💞💞💞💗💗💗💗💗💕💕💕💕💕💕🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

[ghost-babygirl]

iphone photo memories now got me thinkin bout the fact that when my internship ends im going to go home and be back at work with a shift lead who literally harassed me + betrayed me deeply and that he specifically is the reason why i’ve been living in constant anxiety hell since may (and the current reason i have to be working from 3am- 10pm everyday) and im just like ? I truly can’t fathom people like this (people who enjoy being a mirror + fucking with people) just exist like this????? literally fuck off forever and die ?  im not over it at all and i haven’t forgotten a single thing. i truly hate you so fucking much you miserable asshole? Anyways watch me immediately try to switch to only night shifts because I truly can’t handle being the one my manager expects to swallow it or the fact she asked me to continue acting like his friend when i was the fucking person literally harassed. Like? i love the benefits but GOD i hate my location so much its insane seeing what a functioning store looks like and now knowing + the bullshit I left like these freaks make me want to bash my head into the wall its such a lonely goddamn feeling