#its my personal mission to spread critical role like its the word of god

[anni-aughta]

bye i get so sad when i think abt how few people have watched cr and gotten to experience how insane and cool and amazing it is

[kcwcommentary]

VLD1x05 – “Return of the Gladiator”

1x05 – “Return of the Gladiator”

Zarkon is hit/infused with quintessence, which he describes as giving him power (power to do what specifically?). If my memory serves, this is the second reference to quintessence in the show, the first being when Allura was describing the bonds between respective Paladins and their Lions. I already know it’s a futile mission, but I want to try to note throughout this series of reflection writing how quintessence is presented/handled/mishandled by the narrative. In 1x02, quintessence was something unique to each person. Here, it’s some miscellaneous energy that can be absorbed to enhance one’s power.

Training for Team Voltron continues; repairs of the Castle of Lions continue.

Pidge is eager to get information about the Holts from the aliens they rescued from Sendak’s ship. Shiro is worried about finding out what those aliens meant by calling him “Champion.” Hunk cooks, but this Hunk=food moment is much better at showing it to be an issue of him using cooking as a means of creativity.

This episode reveals that the planet is not uninhabited. There is something adorable about the Arusian warrior’s approach as he storms/approaches the Castle. The Arusian seems to be scared, dodging behind rocks and wildly swinging his weapon, but the fact that he’s making the approach despite that fear makes me appreciate his bravery. Keith is apprehensive, concerned with potential threats, but Allura launches into an almost propagandistic “peace first” proclamation. It’s not that she’s wrong; they should attempt diplomacy. It’s more that the way she said it sounded more like a slogan than a genuinely held philosophy and understanding of diplomatic methods, so my problem is more that the line of dialogue could have been better.

The Arusian warrior has come because the Arusians think that there’s a Lion Goddess who’s angry, revealed through the recent destruction of the Galra ship by Voltron. There is an unfortunate (and unacknowledged by the show) implication of colonialism and racism in thinking that native inhabitants of a land are primitive, unintelligent, and will worship those who are technologically advanced as gods. It’s not that Allura or the Paladins think this way of the Arusians, but that the writer of the episode is perpetuating that idea and using that trope in writing the Arusians to think the way demonstrated in this scene.

This brings up something I don’t remember the show ever addressing: Why is the Castle of Lions here on this planet? We know Altea was destroyed, so the implication is that Alfor placed the Castle here, but why here instead of elsewhere? And how was it placed here in such a way that the Castle currently looks like buildings built in and out of rock rather than what it actually is: a ship that currently has parts of itself surrounded by rock (in other words, how did those parts of the castle get rock encased around them)?

Did Alfor know Arus was inhabited? What was his process for choosing a planet to put the Castle on? If he did know the planet was inhabited, did he use diplomacy and get an okay from the inhabitants to essentially install the Castle on their planet? Or did he just put it there, thinking the Arusians are primitive and thus couldn’t understand what he was doing, or that their opinion didn’t matter because his attempt to protect the Lions, the Castle, and Allura were more important than Arusian sovereignty? Also, it’s hard for me to believe, with 10,000 years and really advanced technology, that the Galra haven’t located the Castle of Lions long before now. Given the aggressive, conquering policies of the Galra, putting the Castle of Lions on any inhabited planet was to invite danger and threat to the inhabitants. I definitely feel like all these issues and these questions needed to be addressed in the show.

The ancient Arusians referenced a Lion Goddess and carved themselves worshipping it. It suggests that those ancient Arusians had seen Voltron. If the Arusians were indeed inhabiting the planet when the Castle of Lions came, then why haven’t they advanced beyond the “primitive” state they’re in now? 10,000 years is a lot of time to develop as a civilization, but they haven’t.

“I am Allura and this is my castle.” How is that an explanation to the Arusian warrior that they haven’t angered the Lion Goddess? Why did she think that statement proved anything? It’s like she’s assuming the role of Lion Goddess to the Arusians (and that’s how the warrior interprets it), that she has authority to say the Lion Goddess isn’t upset because she’s the Lion Goddess. This is the first time she’s seen an Arusian, and the first time they’ve seen her. Its aligns with colonialist thinking that the native inhabitants of a location would assume the “superior” colonizers are gods. How does she react when the warrior calls her “Lion Goddess” and bows to her? She just askes him to take her to his village; she does not deny being the Lion Goddess. Ugh!

Allura was all daggers at the team for taking time to rest in between training sessions last episode, but now she’s cool with taking time away from her desired counterassault against the Galra. “Part of the Paladin’s mission is to spread peace and diplomacy,” she says. Again, this sounds like propaganda. One, diplomacy is a method of action, one uses diplomacy and can encourage and promote its use. The wording – “spread peace and diplomacy” – sounds like the disproven idea that peace and diplomacy can be externally forced onto a group of people.

Back to Pidge and Shiro helping the aliens from the Galra ship. They inform Shiro of how they know him. Through limited knowledge/perspective, the narrative head-fakes Shiro attacking Matt. “You were so thirsty for blood, you injured [him.]” The narrative almost instantly tells us that there is information lacking that will recontextualize the events the alien describes. Shiro then thinks that they can get some additional information from the crashed Galra ship. (That does kind of bring to question why they hadn’t already tried to get information from that ship’s computer systems; we know that they were kicking at least part of the ship around while in Voltron, as part of their training from earlier. Information from the ship would be very useful intelligence in a war, especially since most information the Castle has is out-of-date.)

The King of the Arusians calls Allura the Lion Goddess twice more before she finally gets around to saying she’s “not a great being.” She then does take responsibility for whatever danger the Arusians are in because of the Castle being there. Of course, she’s not exactly responsible; she didn’t choose to put the Castle there. I appreciate she finally tries to present herself as just a person, but it should have happened the first time when the Arusian warrior called her the Lion Goddess.

“But the mighty robotic angel, has it not come to destroy us because of our immoral ways?” the King says. How do they know what a robot is yet also think it’s a goddess?

I do like the small moment between Keith and one of the Arusians. The visual design of that Arusian character invites the viewer to assume a femininity to the character, but the deep voice defies that assumption. This little moment can work to deconstruct and criticize the process of that assumption of gender. The moment also shows a bit of a softer side of Keith’s personality.

Shiro’s hand is a really advanced piece of technology that it can power a computer system just by touching the surface of it. Pidge does say that they needed a Galra-compatible power source, thus Shiro using his hand, but then the need for technological compatibility is ignored when Pidge starts downloading data from the Galra computer. Without compatible technology, two computers cannot communicate with one another, and thus transfer files like Pidge is doing. Either care about realistic compatibility issues or don’t, don’t both care and not care, especially in the same scene.

Shiro tries to hold out for Pidge, but the incoming threat of the Robeast is too much, so he grabs her, and they run. Pidge demonstrates her inability to engage in rational thought, to the point of not even caring about her own survival and wanting to go back into the ship. I really don’t like this aspect of Pidge’s personality. I get her wanting to find her brother and father. I get her willing to risk in pursuit of that goal. I don’t get her being this thoughtless though.

Crash. Explosion. And the Black and Green Lions come from wherever they were to shelter their pilots. I really like that. It continues what we saw a couple episodes ago with Red saving Keith after he was blown out into space. The show talks a lot about Paladin-Lion bonds, and moments like this are a simple, effective way of demonstrating that bond.

I also like the Robeast’s visual design, particularly the weapon and the two different eyes. Keith orders the other Lions to lay down covering fire, which is good tactical writing. The team realizes quickly that it’s on them to stop the Robeast, so they form Voltron to fight it. Shiro’s comment, “Remember, we are one unit fighting with one goal,” is a far better way of stating the way Voltron works through team unity than last episode’s generic mysticism of them just “feeling” their way into team unity. I love the call-back to the beginning of this episode with Lance declaring he’s going to kick the Robeast’s orb. The fact that Lance was said to have failed in his kick at the beginning of the episode suggests via typical narrative structure that he would succeed here, so I love that he fails in his kick here too. That was a great use of the subversion of expectations through manipulating narrative tropes.

This fight isn’t just about explosions, it actually has structure. The characters have to think their way through something, not just grunt and shoot lasers. The Robeast’s attack is two-edged: If Team Voltron focuses on the ball, the Robeast physically attacks them, but if they focus on him, they get hit by the ball. The combat catches up with Shiro, and his PTSD results in him being triggered again. This time, he remembers fighting in the Galra arena against the person this Robeast has been made out of, and that person had a weapon that worked just like the Robeast’s. Shiro might have had a traumatic flashback, but he’s able to draw strength and tactics from it. Being able to convert past pain, trauma, and struggle into current use/benefit is one way of helping oneself to heal from the traumas of the past. Shiro here uses his knowledge of the past fight to help with this fight. We also get it revealed that the Paladins’ bayards can enable the Lions/Voltron to upgrade and produce new weapons. Keith draws Voltron’s sword, and boom. Robeast is destroyed.

Then it’s revealed that Sendak has survived the Galra ship’s destruction and plans on attacking the Paladins through their compassion for others, just like a villain would. I’m not complaining. This was probably the first time I felt I wanted to see more of Sendak.

Then we get the episode’s biggest revelation. It’s a nice quiet scene between Shiro and Pidge. Not only does it work to conclude their arc for the episode, but it also answers the question the show has been hinting at about what’s up with Pidge. Shiro explains that he hurt Matt so that Matt wouldn’t have to fight in the arena. By posing as a battle-hungry person, Shiro drew attention to himself over Matt, but also Matt, being injured, wouldn’t be able to fight. Shiro is a true hero! Thank you Pidge for hugging Shiro; I’d do it too if I could. I love that Pidge doesn’t just accept Shiro’s explanation, but also apologizes for her having doubted Shiro’s honor when the alien had told them that Shiro had attacked Matt, and she also thanks him. The voice acting for Pidge in that moment is really nice too, there’s an ache and a vulnerability in it.

And then, boom, Shiro calls Pidge by her real name Katie. Pidge isn’t a guy. I personally really like this twist and reveal. For one, the show needed to have more than just one female main character. Two, it challenges assumptions of gender. How nice that such a reveal about Pidge comes in the same episode that had a similar challenging of gender assumptions with that small moment between Keith and that one Arusian. Narrative resonances like that demonstrate a thoughtful writing process. 

[gut-shabbos-sluts]

Fjord, Moses, and being a prophet

I’ve pushed off writing this meta because the joke’s already been made. Fjord split that river, he’s like Moses! We all did it when it happened, ha ha. But beyond what happened in 51, there are some choice parallels between the two, and with how Fjord is acting in Rosohna, I think I see where the paths intersect.

Note: This is going to have extra-Biblical sources that, as far as I’m aware, are uniquely Jewish. If anything isn’t clear, I apologize in advance, and feel free to ask for clarifications.

tl;dr: Fjord is a prophet, but he doesn’t know it

So, to start, how are Fjord and Moses similar?

They are both separated from their families. Fjord by virtue of growing up in an orphanage, and Moses by being raised by Bat-Pharaoh.

They both are linked to water from their (re)birth. Moses isn’t named until he is taken out of the Nile, and his name means “I drew him from the water.” Fjord begins his life as a warlock washed up on the beach, and while his name is his from before that (as far as we know), it is also linked to water.

They both have mouth-related trauma from their youth. Fjord was teased into filing down his tusks. In Exodus 4:10, Moses calls himself “Slow of speech and slow of tongue,” which Shemot Rabbah links to a story of him being guided to put a burning coal in his mouth.

They both have issues with impulsivity. Moses loses his right to enter the land after hitting the rock in Numbers 20, when God had told him explicitly to speak with it, amongst other instances. Fjord, well. You’re reading a Critical Role meta, you know what he’s done.

They are both reluctant to step into the roles asked of them. Fjord, for the most part, avoids fulfilling the tenets of his pact with Uk’otoa. Moses protests that his connections to the Pharaoh and his inability to speak make him an ineligible mouthpiece.

Then, finally, the splitting of the waters.

A lot of these are common enough themes, even if reframed slightly from usual contexts. But what makes this stand out to me? Well, other than my being a huge fucking Bible nerd who sees the connections everywhere I look, I think Fjord is a sort of prophet, and part of that is placing him as a mirror to the person many of us think of as the archetypical prophet.

Most prophets, obviously, don’t look like Fjord. They look like Moses. They struggle with the directive from their God at first but learn to accept the role, they have specific directives to save their own in-group, and they are generally upright citizens, even despite their major flaws. But not all of them are. There’s Jonah, who ran from his prophecy, and when forced to deliver it, asked God to kill him. There’s Elijah, who caused a nationwide famine because people weren’t listening to him fast enough. There’s Esther, who had to be convinced to speak before the king with threats of her silence killing her people. The reluctant prophet doesn’t need to grow out of their reluctance.

Fjord’s prophecy is wildly different from any guidance the clerics alongside him might receive, but it contains elements that are biblical. He comes with a message of the release of Uk’otoa, either by his hands or another, and what consequences that will have for the world around him. It’s symbology and unclear sentences. It’s a code that he’s not quite sure how to break. The prophecy is true, because it will either come true or be overcome by people doing good. His god (or patron, or demigod,) gave him a mission, and he is spreading the word, whether as intended or not.

And now we arrive in Rosohna, once Ghor Dranas. Here, we encounter monotheism unlike what would make sense in a clear polytheist world like Exandria. The Luxon, if it truly is the bird from the Yuan-ti temple, is equal to Fjord’s patron in power, and he’s now in what is wholly its territory. Fjord is trying to juggle the consequences of running from what he has been called to do and the consequences of the party. He is Jonah in the boat heading away from Nineveh, he is Moses raising his staff over the stone he has been told to speak to. How will the Bright Queen react if Uk’otoa’s name makes its way to her? How is he supposed to stop a war if he has to keep moving to escape his directives?

He can’t escape being a prophet; he prophesies, he has sight, he sees. He is parallel to Moses, but veers away to be afraid and to never accept the words he hears. There is only so deep that his connection goes and how far he will treat his orders for what they might be. After all, he’s a warlock, not a paladin.

[pearwaldorf]

A repost of a list I made the last time I did a real deep dive into the Critical Role tag. I have included relevant spoiler warnings but they’re not meant to be comprehensive, so please tread accordingly. Asterisks by new additions.

Percy/Vex

Porny

hold me down, I wanna find out, by sabinelagrande Percy has some plans and not much else, but it’s enough for Vex to go on. It’s Percy/Vex femdom. That should probably be enough for you to figure out if you want to read it or not.

whatever you do (do it for me baby), by mischief7manager Percy finds something that belongs to Vex. After testing, he takes it upon himself to make some improvements. The Percy inventing the strap-on story we all knew was inevitable. This is Impressively Filthy in the best way.

under your moonlit gaze, by seimaisin Vex, Percy, the hot springs, and sex. With a brief interruption from Scanlan. Excellent PWP. Not kidding about the lack of plot. <3

I’ll show you how it’s done, by sabinelagrande Vex is a woman on a mission, and Percy had better hope he can keep up. Lovely bit of bondage and femdom. A++ need more of this.

Not porny

Serving Repentance, by CurrieBelle Set after Episode 40. Vex and Percy discussing their shared interests: trick shots, repressed feelings, poor timing, and ill-advised vengeance. This is a lovely little bit of connection between these two, and I like it a lot.

Inheritance, by CurrieBelle Set after episode 30. Vex asking Percy the question we were all thinking. The Percy voice is just so good in this.

Within the Words, by pagerunner While searching for clues that might help them on a mission, Vex encounters a book in a language she can’t read…and so she turns to the one ally who can. A lovely little moment of connection and discovery.

closer to the sky, by seimaisin Vex is a problem he’ll never be able to solve. A necessary conversation after The Sunken Tomb (episode 44).

The Hands-On Approach, by JettieBettie Vex has never given Percy’s hands much thought before; she is very much like everyone else, distracted by the white hair, apathetic aristocratic gaze, and quick witted intelligence. He certainly seemed the type when they first met, the kind of man with nothing but a callus on his finger from a quill pen. By now she knows better. Lovely bit of character study.

the myth of loneliness, by seimaisin “The wings were a big deal, huh?” “Yes and no,” she says. “I don’t know. Which is a very specific answer, I know.” A lovely little bit of connection in a lonely place.

I want to tell you but I don’t know how, by impossibletruths Such an easy phrase, he knows, small and simple and short, but it sticks in his throat. Besides––actions, they say, speak louder than words. Aww, this is sweet and lovely.

A Civilized Discussion, by curriebelle The one from Trinket’s POV. I love it so much.

Kima/Allura

oh and it aches (and it feels oddly good to hurt), by mischief7manager “They’ve been traveling together for three days now, and if that self-righteous, sanctimonious, supercilious paladin opens her mouth to spout about Bahamut’s glorious purpose one more time, Allura is going to cast Hold Person on her and dump her off a cliff.” Three times Kima saved Allura’s life, and one time Allura returned the favor.

Brighten My Northern Sky, by impossibletruths Cassandra keeps speaking, but Kima pays her no mind because standing at the window, tired and pale and dusty and here, alive, in Whitestone, is Allie. Aww, this is lovely and sweet.

Just promise me we’ll be alright, by impossibletruths In the space of a heartbeat, it all comes crashing down, and she makes her choice. Kima’s voice is so good in this; I love it so much.

we’re not broken, just bent (look, i’m still around), by mischief7manager Kima and Allura rekindle their relationship at Whitestone and find out what has changed, and what hasn’t. This is gorgeous and quiet and vulnerable. I love how Kima snaps and is uneasy, the way Allura blames herself for what happened.

Percy/Pike

Time is not on our side, by thevaliantdust Pike’s divine connection ends, and the waiting begins. Set after episode 59. This is some Quality Angst.

Until you set your old heart free, by impossibletruths In the aftermath of the tomb, Pike makes a discovery, and Percy remembers that not all healing is magic and mended bones. Quiet, lovely, comforting. (ep 44 spoilers)

Keyleth/Vax

i’m yours and that’s it, whatever, by mischief7manager (Keyleth/Vax) “Vax’ildan of Vox Machina asks Keyleth of the Air Ashari to marry him on a warm day in early spring. ‘Wait, what?’ she says.” Cultural misunderstandings surrounding marriage is my jam! Oh god it’s so stinking cute.

love is watching someone die, by nighimpossible (Raven Queen/Vax, Keyleth/Vax) Five dreams Vax'ildan has of the Raven Queen. Creepy and melancholy.

Other pairings/multi

Things in between the fractures and fissures, by impossibletruths (Keyleth/Kashaw) It’s fine, she tells herself. It’s an idle curiosity. It’s checking in on a friend. There is a question she needs to ask, but it is not the one she’s thinking of. Or, two weeks after the Tomb Incident, Keyleth and Kashaw have a chat. There is never enough Keyleth/Kash, and this is so lovely and well-characterized.

The dance, by valiantdust (Vax/Gilmore) Gilmore wakes in Vax’s arms. Yes, it is a Gilmore POV of That Scene. Because I love dying and being dead, I must spread this around. (episode 39 spoilers)

another dream, another love you’ll hold, by zornslemon (Cassandra/Kaylie) “Vox Machina is like that. They come into people’s lives, perform incredible acts of heroism, and then leave again, ignoring the people they leave behind.” Cassandra and Kaylie bond. This is so out of left field, and it works really well.

elements of desire, by notalwaysweak This is a series exploring the formation and negotiation of multiple pairings, from multiple POVs. It’s like a cozy polyamorous blanket.

What Are You?, by Sparxflame (not tagged but basically Percy/Orthax) “What is this?” asks the smoke, quietly. Percy swallows, on his knees, hanging in the endless dark of the void. He knows he’s dreaming, knows none of this is real – but none of that changes the fact he’s alone, and it’s dark, and the smoke is so thick around him that he can barely breathe. “It’s- my gun,” he says. The kinda fucked-up Percy gun kink story I didn’t know I wanted. 👌🏼

serve you well, by endquestionmark (Vax/Briarwoods) So: “Anything you need,” Vax says, and means it with all the fervency of someone with nothing left to barter. Legit the fic I was hoping somebody would write after Vax disappeared into the Briarwoods’ room. (dubcon warning)

Gen

Prowl, by resonant_aura Pike Trickfoot has been a healer for as long as she could remember. But she isn’t only a healer–and it would be beneficial for her enemies to remember that. Who doesn’t love a badass!Pike story? I like that this fills in some of what happens when she’s at the temple.

Simple Creed, by notalwaysweak Helping Pike out in the hospital is more gory than glorious. But Gilmore discovers it’s not without its own rewards. A lovely little character piece, illuminating both Pike and the effect she has on people. (episode 39 spoilers)

Gods and Champions, by earthquakegirl Following Ep. 48, Pike gets fed up with Vax avoiding her and decides it’s time they talk. I like how this digs into both their characters, and people’s perceptions of Pike.

we are not along in the dark with our demons, by TechnicalTragedy “How do you do it, Pike?” “Oh, it’s a constant fight. But us? We’re good at that.” I love how this digs into how much everybody looks up to Pike, and how important it is for the group, but especially Percy.

In Healing Healed, by icarus_unchained Set just at the end of Ep.52. Pike considers Percy, Vox Machina, light and darkness, healing and being healed. Pike’s perspective on what Percy does is absolutely lovely.

And we will stand beside and breathe in their new life, by impossibletruths Percy has lost siblings enough; he had thought himself free of the fear of losing a loved one. He never expected the bright-haired druid girl to crawl into his heart and stir up those long-buried memories. But then, Keyleth rarely does as expected. Or, six times Percy saw his siblings in Keyleth and one time Keyleth called him on it. I am super weak for Percy and Keyleth stories and this is such a good one.

Just the Endless Frozen Pines, by isyotm Keyleth is there long after everyone else is gone. She makes sure Whitestone is too. There may have been ugly crying while reading this.

Intertwined, by sabinelagrande The morning after doesn’t go quite like Percy expected. Technically Percy/Vex, but not really the focus of the story. Cackling.

tame the ghosts in my head, by lakilaes Vex is five when she starts keeping track of how much they spend. Oh this is just fucking heartbreaking.

Night Moves, by sabinelagrande Vax has an unexpected guest, and he would rather not know why. The one where Trinket gets sexiled.

Culpability, by CorvidFeathers After Vex’s brush with death, Percy and Cassandra have a conversation about judgment and guilt, and work out a few of the knots in the tangle of past regrets and mistakes that shadow them both. Why does this not have more kudos? This is complicated and real; probably the best Cassandra and Percy fic I’ve read. (episode 44 spoilers)

Of Edges and Survival, by Kayssna She cries the day she forgets her mother’s favorite perfume, and cries harder when she realizes she doesn’t remember her eldest brother’s face. A lovely little vignette.

It Might Sting a Little, by curriebelle Everyone in Vox Machina must have pierced ears so they can use the magic whisper earrings. Ergo, an ear piercing fic that turned into a Percy character study, because of course it did. It’s really interesting having a look at this Percy, who is so different from the one we see on the stream. Also he gets roughed up a tiny bit in a loving way.

Empires at Peace, by curriebelle Post Episode 38 - Gilmore reflecting on Vax’s decision. Oh god this hurts, and it’s so perfectly in character.

New beginnings, by thevaliantdust Gilmore and Sherri begin rebuilding their business in Whitestone This is so cute.

sugar, we’re goin’ down, by notalwaysweak “I’ve never dueled a dragon before.” How it all went down: the duel, and Emon’s walls too. The one where Gilmore is a badass and a hero, and Sherri is too. There may have been some crying. (The title is a nice touch.) (episode 39 spoilers)

A little help from my friends, by impossibletruths It all seems pretty simple to him. She knows, he doesn’t, she can teach him. Two plus two equals–– well, whatever. Point is, there’s nothing wrong with asking for a little help. Keyleth teaches Grog a thing or two about fighting. Delightful.

Garden-variety training, by charmedward It’s the middle of the afternoon when Grog finds Keyleth crying in the grounds of Greyskull Keep. A lovely bit of interaction between two characters we don’t see talking much together.

the light in me will guide you home, by notalwaysweak While Vox Machina roam Tal'Dorei gathering allies and power, a smaller group holds Whitestone together. A nice look at the bits we don’t see in the main narrative. (Chroma Conclave spoilers)

forget forgotten, by 1001cranes 5 Times Vax Was Not the Raven Queen’s Champion Proper drabbles, each a delightful tiny AU in itself.

* fifteen feet of pure white snow, by cinderfell Critical Role (post Chroma Conclave arc); Cassandra de Rolo When you’ve lived your life in a gilded cage, it’s hard to leave even once the door has been opened.

This is such a fantastic character study focusing on a fear that Cass would plausibly have, and it’s treated with such empathy and compassion.

AU

frost in the brambles, by vype There is a universe where Percival de Rolo was struck down by arrows instead. The one where Cass is the one Vox Machina finds. I love this so much.

Exandria NM, by sabinelagrande The series where Vox Machina works for the National Parks Service. Don’t laugh, it’s fucking great because it is so wonderfully specific and obviously written with insider knowledge. Tell Sabine how much you love it so she’ll write more.

Modern Keyleth/Kash coffeeshop AU omg it’s so stinkin’ cute.

* The Hero’s Petition, by NevillesGran Far in the northern reaches of Tal'Dorei, the city of Whitestone lies half-buried under snow and dark trees. They say monsters live there, now, ruled by worse. They say strangers are hunted and killed. They say to enter is death, particularly to enter the castle.They say sometimes, if you're very brave or very lucky, or merely very desperate, it may be worth the risk.

The dark Keyleth & Percy AU I didn’t know I wanted. Sequel here.

[theheavymetalmama]

Katie Reviews “Far Cry 5″

Doctor Stupidlove

Another day, another Far Cry game. Whether or not that’s a good or bad thing depends on person to person with a laundry list of variables, including but not limited to personal taste and sensibilities, franchise fatigue, whether or not you bought into the glue-huffing guff that this game held a leftist bias pushing an anti-white, anti-American agenda because for the first time in the series the bad guys are an American fanatically religious death cult instead of brown people from imaginary foreign countries, and a myriad of other things I’m probably missing. I’ll say up front that after Primal and a bunch of other bullshit from Ubisoft between now and the infamous ‘women are too hard to animate’ thing I was pretty much done with the series and Ubisoft as a whole. Then the launch trailer for Far Cry 5 dropped and, having grown up in a dead gold mining community chock-full of racist loonies not unlike the one depicted in the fictional Hope County, my interest immediately peaked.

See, the Far Cry games have a strange pattern to them. No game is perfect, but the Far Cry games stand out in that they have one glaring flaw that mars an otherwise damn good game. Far Cry 3 is held aloft as when the series peaked, and for good reason, but the main character was irredeemably unlikable and the main charismatic villain just up and vanishes from the halfway point in the game. Far Cry 4, or Far Cry 3 2 as some call it, fixed the villain problem but the main character was just dull. Primal was...not good, with a boring lead, a boring villain, and an overall boring game. Sure, Blood Dragon was a ton of fun, but part of the charm was that it was completely self-aware of its’ own absurdity and the characters from the hero to the villain weren’t characters so much as they were walking punchlines.

So how does Far Cry 5 compare? Well, when it comes to story, setting, and gameplay, it’s a step up from Far Cry 4 in some ways, blows Primal out of the water, but has its’ own issues and hang-ups that don’t quite make it live up to Far Cry 3. That’s the short version, anyway. The long version?

Let’s start with graphics, location, and aesthetics. Far Cry 5 looks fucking beautiful. 

I’m not kidding, everything from the wild lands, the forests, the mountains, the lakes and rivers, the settlements, everything in Far Cry 5 is absolutely gorgeous. It’s not quite up there with Breath of the Wild or Horizon: Zero Dawn in sheer style and detail, but it’s pretty damn close. More often than not I found myself forgetting about the mission and spending a lot of time exploring, hunting, and trying to take in the sights. More on the ‘trying’ part in a bit. The atmosphere sucks you right in, everything from the chirping birds and buzzing bees making the world feel alive. Exploring the woods and hearing cultist singing and chanting far off in the distance, especially at night, is legitimately terrifying. Wildlife always plays a key role in the Far Cry games and this is no exception, from docile deer to the always pleasant wolverine providing plenty of opportunities for hunting. Just don’t get skunked.

The game takes place in Hope County, a fictional region in rural Montana. Now I’ve never actually been to Montana, but I did grow up in Washington state and I can’t help but notice many similarities. The woods, the rivers, the god damned apple farms, exploring Hope County felt like I was going home again. Sometimes not for the better, but that’s neither here nor there. In any case, Hope County is beautifully detailed, from the farms to forest to the interiors of the (ugh...) Spread Eagle bar to the small hunting cabins out in the woods. Hats off to the artists and environmental designers for Far Cry 5, because they manage to tell more story about the world and characters with just a ransacked pumpkin farm and a dog mourning his dead owners than Square Enix and Konami ever could with a 20 minute cutscene and a dictionary’s worth of dialogue for each character.

Speaking of characters, the Far Cry games are loaded with memorable characters and the locals of Hope County are no exception. Returning character Hurk is back and as redneck-y as ever, and it turns out Hope County is his home. We also meet members of his family, like his pyromaniac cousin Sharky, his promiscuous mother Adelaide and her boyfriend Xander who’s roughly 1/3rd her age, and his racist conspiracy theorist gun-hoarding father Hurk Sr. No wonder he’s so messed up.

But Hurk and his folks aren’t the only people you meet, as the game is packed to the brim with memorable characters that you either love or love to hate, from lovable country boy Nick Rye and half-feral huntress Jess Black to the cartoonishly evil Seed family. More on them in a minute. Oh, and you get a pet bear named Cheeseburger.

Combat and gunplay is as tight as ever, and vehicle control is so smooth it gives Grand Theft Auto a run for its’ money. The soundtrack is pretty damn good, featuring a good mix of licensed and original music and songs. To the surprise of nobody my favorite is the one that plays during the stunt missions.

Leveling and character progress has been streamlined a bit. You upgrade your skills not by gaining experience, but by completing in-game challenges and finding ‘perk magazines’ that, you guessed it, give you points to unlock...well, perks. Some may not like that, but in my opinion it makes sense because if you gained experience just by killing stuff you’d reach level 50 before your first boss fight. Things like bigger ammo bags and extra weapon holsters are no longer unlocked by animal skins but through perks, and said said skins are now exclusively a form of making money.

So that about covers it for the good, and now it’s time for the bad. The streamlining I just brought up both helps and hurts the game. On one hand it does make progressing a lot less tedious, but on the other hand it does take away a lot of what makes Far Cry stand out from other typical shooters. It feels less like they were trimming the fat and more like they were cutting corners. For starters, areas that contain loot only contain ammo, crafting components, and sometimes money. There’s no more animations for skinning animals, harvesting plants, looting corpses, or even your character opening doors. That’s not so bad, but I really miss how dynamic and, as much as I’ve grown to detest this word, cinematic meeting new characters in previous games were. Take a look at this scene in Far Cry 4 when you meet Longinus, easily one of the highlights of the game.

And here’s what happens when you meet Sharky in Far Cry 5. (MINOR SPOILERS)

See the difference? Now one can argue that meeting new characters in real time saves some...well, time and is considerably less pretentious, but it just isn’t as interesting. Far Cry 5 still has plenty of scripted cutscenes, but again, they’ve been stripped down to the bone.

Now remember what I said earlier about trying to take in the sights? This game is packed to the fucking gills with enemy NPCs. Now previous Far Cry games had plenty of enemies as well but this went way overboard to the point that you can’t walk or drive 50 feet before running into a convoy or roadblock or whatever. I speak no hyberbole when I say that by the time you’ve liberated your first region, you’ll have killed more cultists than there are people currently living in real-life Montana as well as hunted and skinned more wolves, cougars, and bears than there are wolves, cougars, and bears currently populating the US west coast. Also, in what universe can a fucking turkey pose a legitimate threat to humans!? Does Far Cry occupy the same universe as fucking South Park?

The story of Far Cry 5 is pretty straight forward, but it definitely feels like there’s some pretty big pieces missing from it. This isn’t just me, critics and players across the board agree that it feels like something was cut from the game at the last minute. This is especially true for the endings, but more on that in a bit. I can’t help but feel that the writers and developers had a lot more to say about racism, gender roles and the enforcement thereof, gun violence and gun culture in America, sexism, religious zealotry, far-right extremism, and of course this tire fire of a presidential administration, because the pieces for all of that are still there. A handful of NPCs mention gender roles for a hot second, several of the guns for hire make disparaging remarks about Trump, the symbol of Eden’s Gate strongly resembles the same symbol the Ku Klux Klan and other white supremacist groups use, Hurk’s dad is a caricature of far-right ideals purposefully exaggerated for ridicule and contempt, and there’s even a mission where you meet up with another returning character to find Trump’s pee-tape.

All of the elements are there, but the game says almost nothing about any of it. Why?

When the first trailer for the game dropped it was around the same time Wolfenstein II: the New Colossus was close to release and the same mouth-breathing shitheels who screamed about how killing Nazis in Wolfenstein was pushing an anti-white, anti-conservative agenda did the same thing for Far Cry 5. My guess is that the PR guys at Ubisoft saw the oxygen-thieving wastes of space screaming about how the game was “anti-white SJW propaganda” and then panicked and removed huge chunks of the game so as not to alienate any racist shitheads who may want to buy it. Not only does the game say almost nothing about any of the themes and elements that I mentioned earlier, but the cult of Eden’s Gate is multi-racial and gendered where most of the guys have long hair and hipster beards and all the women barring Faith Seed have short hair and buzz cuts. It’s really jarring and feels like something that was added at the last minute, as the male cultists all sound the same and the female cultists say hardly anything at all.

That brings us to the player character; they’re aren’t a character, they’re an avatar and silent protagonist. Now there’s nothing inherently wrong with that, but it feels strange. Especially when you play as a female, which I did. Now the character creation itself is fine, especially with the wide variety of outfits, but the rest is pretty bare bones. More to the point, it’s painfully obvious they designed the game with a male lead in mind and then added a gender-switch as an afterthought. Almost everyone in the game refers to you by male pronouns (which to be fair I call my ladyfriends ‘dude’ all the time) but there are a few scenes where you’re found shirtless in the game. Now call me old-fashioned, but I’d have a bit stronger of a reaction than “Oh, you startled me” if I woke up to some weirdo carving the word ‘wrath’ into my tits! I have a sneaking suspicion that they added a gender switch at the last minute because someone reminded them of the time they looked like lazy idiots for claiming your customizable assassin in Assassin’s Creed: Unity couldn’t be a woman because women were too hard to animated.

And now, let’s finally talk about the Seed Family.

We have the leader Joseph Seed, the trainer and disgraced soldier Jacob, the sadistic second in command John, and the seductress Faith. The Far Cry games are known for their charismatic villains and the seeds are no exception, and especially gripping because the second you meet any single one of them you immediately want them dead. The only problem is that, again, they’re so cartoonishly evil that the more you see them the more you want to shove them crotch-first into the mouth of a hungry grizzly bear. Vaas was always one step ahead of you and constantly in your face and Pagan Min was so suave and charming that you kind of wanted to see where he was going with it all.

Not the case with the seeds. When you see them they immediately piss you off, and the more you see them they just keep pissing you off because they keep hiding behind doors, cronies, hallucinations, or plot devices. And hey, that’s fine. As long as you get to shove the barrel of a shotgun right into their mouth and spatter their brains all over the walls of their church then who cares, right?

....

So, let’s talk about the endings of the game.

Once you’ve liberated all three regions of Hope County by killing John, Jacob, and Faith, you return to the main cult compound to arrest Joseph once again. However, once you get there and cuff him you step outside to find your allies under the brainwashing influence of the drug Bliss and a boss fight ensues. When you knock your allies out and revive them, they snap out of their Bliss-induced stupor and turn on Joseph, and once you’ve freed all of them Joseph drops like a hot rock. When Joseph is down and the day is won...this happens.

....no, really. 

Right the fuck out of nowhere a nuke lands somewhere in the outskirts of Hope County and you scramble to escape, and pretty soon you black out and wake up in a bunker chained to a bed with Joseph hovering over you saying that you’ll be his first new recruit in the cult. All the allies you previously made die as Hope County is wiped off the map and the game ends, not even giving you a continuation like previous games did and rendering every single thing you did up to this point totally and utterly meaningless.

Now some people have defended this, including the developers, saying that there are radio broadcasts in-game talking about how tensions are raising in Russia and North Korea. I spent hours driving around in the game listening to the radio and I heard no such thing, but if they’re indeed there then this only furthers my suspicion that this was a last-minute change because of the backlash from racist shitbirds and wasn’t the ending the writers and developers originally intended. 

For starters, the escalating tensions between Russia, the US, and North Korea aren’t mentioned anywhere else in the game except in the radio broadcasts (which again, I never heard) and despite the Seeds going on and on about “the collapse” we never get any idea of what the collapse is until the end of the game. It’s not even a convincing depiction of a nuke going off! Just some burning trees and a few animals dropping dead as you make your escape with Joseph in tow and neither of you having so much as a sunburn. If this ending was what they planned from the start then they would have went all out, showing in graphic detail the horrors of a nuclear holocaust. How much of a gut-punch would it have been to see Nick Rye hug his wife and newborn daughter just before the skin is blasted off their bones like that scene in Terminator 2 that made me avoid mesh fences for two fucking years? Or Jess run one of her own arrows through her heart to spare herself an agonizing death? Or hell, Hurk, one of the few returning characters in Far Cry, desperately begging the player for help as his face melts off his skull? That would have hit players and hit players hard and people, myself included, wouldn’t be bitching about how out of nowhere and shit the ending is! And that’s to say nothing of the idea of North Korea wasting one of the handful of nukes they have on rural fucking Montana! Jesus H. Tap-dancing Christ, Ubisoft, how fucking stupid do you think we are!?

...okay, fair enough. But still!

Now I know what you’re probably thinking. “Well, damn, that’s grim. Anyway, what’s the good ending like?” 

That IS the good ending.

No, I’m not even kidding. Despite the end scenario being Doctor Strangelove by way of Deliverance (and no, that’s not me being snarky, the game references the movie by playing “We’ll Meet Again” during the final cutscene) that’s the good ending because you, the player, are still alive. The bad ending is that after you arrest Seed and see your friends and allies under the influence of Bliss, you’re given the option to let him go and walk away. You then then your Bliss-induced allies walk with Joseph peacefully into the church and then leave with the same three people, in which they get into a car and leave while chatting about getting the army involved and taking Seed out once and for all. One of them then turns on the radio, the song “Only You” plays, and a red haze takes over the screen just before the credits roll heavily implying that you succumbed to the brainwashing drug (which you’re exposed to several times in the game) and either attacked or killed the people you spent the time in the game trying to save. Either way, each ending renders your actions completely and utterly meaningless.

Why did they do this? Well, partially because the Far Cry writers really love the “There is no objective good or evil, everything and everyone is equally terrible” cliche and they assume everyone else does too, but once again I have no doubt in my mind that the ‘good’ ending wasn’t the original ending and was in fact a last-minute change to appease angry racists in order to not alienate what Ubisoft thinks is their core demographic. What a bucket of cocks.

Final Thoughts

Now despite the endings being complete and utter hot garbage that renders all your actions meaningless, there’s still plenty of fun to be had in Far Cry 5. The combat is satisfying, base jumping and flying around never gets old, the characters are great, and despite chickening out on the themes introduced it’s still a plenty serviceable story. It won’t be winning any awards anytime soon, and if you’re looking for some post-2016 return of the Nazis catharsis then I’d go with Wolfenstein II: the New Colossus instead, but there’s still plenty fun to be had exploring the beautiful wilds of Northwest America while gunning down religious nutjobs, hunting dangerous game, and completing side-quests from uprooting doomsday prepper bunkers to making a bull testicle cook-off to raise morale possible.

B-

A solid B-

[eponymous-rose]

Weird request, but you summarize stuff. I've only caught a few episodes of Critical Role but am curious about Kima and Allura. What's the story there? Don't worry about spoilers, I'm never gonna get caught up on this show anyway, but I am curious!

Oh gosh! Okay. This actually dovetails nicely with some logistical stuff I need to figure out for reasons, so hey, here’s my really long-winded summary (and other folks, please chime in if I get something wrong, there’s a lot of ground to cover here ranging from pre-series to right up where we are now):

So, basically, Allura (human wizard) and Kima (halfling paladin of Bahamut) were part of the same adventuring party, and their exploits culminated in a big ol’ boss battle fifteen years before the start of Critical Role against an ancient red dragon named Thordak. Their party managed to seal Thordak in the Elemental Plane of Fire, but in the process three members of their party were killed (Sirus, Dohla, and Ghenn), leaving only Kima, Allura, and their elementalist friend Drake Thunderbrand standing at the end of it.

In the wake of the battle, the three of them went their separate ways, despite the romantic relationship that had developed between Kima and Allura. Allura accepted an offer to become a member of the Council of Tal’Dorei in the capital city of Emon, but Kima wasn’t exactly keen on a political position and traveled north to the holy city of Vasselheim instead, where she worked with Highbearer Vord, the leader of the Order of Bahamut. Kima mentions in early episodes of the show that she and Allura would still try to meet up every few months for drinks, but their lives were pulling them in different directions. 

Matt’s made it pretty clear that Allura still spent a lot of time thinking about Kima during those years---in his playlist he posted way back in 2015, he says of Allura: “So long as protecting the realm means protecting this one person, then all the toil and challenge is worth it.” Kima also wound up struggling a lot with her faith in the wake of all the evils she’d seen, and frequently butted heads with Highbearer Vord and the more straitlaced folks she worked with.

Fast-forward fifteen years, when Kima starts to get visions of a terrible evil brewing under the dwarven city of Kraghammer and rushes in half-cocked. Allura starts to get worried after several weeks pass with no word and hires a group of adventurers that she’s worked with in the past to go find Kima---the adventurers, of course, are Vox Machina, and this push was the impetus for the first on-stream plot arc of the show.

Vox Machina manage to get Kima out of a bad situation in the Underdark, and then they all wind up embroiled in a conflict against a particularly corrupted beholder named K’Varn, who’s managed to get his hands (eye-tentacles?) on a Horn of Orcus and is sort of chilling with his mind flayer pals as a lowkey champion of the god of undeath, which is not fantastic. VM kill K’Varn, and together with Kima (who’d been turned to stone by a basilisk, thus beginning her longstanding pattern of bad luck on missions involving VM) just barely manage to escape via teleportation circle back to Emon.

After a Weekend-at-Bernie’s-esque pub crawl with Kima still in stone form, the party finally manages to restore her, and they all head over to explain the events to Allura. Allura is delighted to see Kima again, and they have a tearful reunion. Kima does travel with VM back to Vasselheim to seal the Horn of Orcus in the Platinum Sanctuary (a temple of Bahamut), leaving Allura in Emon. VM eventually moves on to the next plot, leaving Kima in Vasselheim.

Once VM finishes dealing with the next major arc of the show, the end result is a tiny floating, spinning ball in a forgotten ziggurat under the human city of Whitestone that also happens to nullify all magic for a wide radius in its vicinity. You know, your standard everyday stuff. Completely out of their depths, they ask Allura to travel to Whitestone and check it out while they return home to Emon, a decision that possibly winds up saving her life.

Allura heads to Whitestone and brings Drake Thunderbrand on board to evaluate the situation with the orb. When some of her arcane connections with cities across Tal’Dorei start to go dark, she heads back to Emon to report in to VM at their Keep just outside the city and figure out what the heck’s going on.

She and Drake arrive to find the party in the middle of a very serious argument, on the verge of an all-out brawl, over a magical skull housing some sort of entity that claims to be able to grant any wish. Why is a wish particularly tempting right now? Oh hey, turns out four ancient chromatic dragons, the Chroma Conclave (excellent 80s band name), just attacked Emon, killed most of the Tal’Dorei Council, made a beeline for and destroyed Allura’s home, and are spreading out to destroy most bastions of civilization across the continents of Tal’Dorei and Wildmount. When VM reveals that the leader of the group was Thordak, the same dragon that Allura and Drake barely survived sealing in the Plane of Fire, Allura is in shock.

Allura and Drake head out to the ruins of the Cobalt Reserve in Westruun to try and find some information that could help them defeat the Conclave. VM eventually make their way to Vasselheim in search of allies, and are startled to discover that the city is unaware of the devastation happening across the ocean. When Kima finds out about the destruction of Emon, she’s frantic and her first thought is to find a way to get to Allura. VM manage to assure her that Allura is as safe as anyone can be right now, and Kima joins them on their disastrous journey to the sunken tomb, where they face another beholder and Kima is nearly killed by a long fall in the battle. In the aftermath, she makes her way with the party back to Whitestone, and finds out for the first time that the leader of the Conclave is indeed Thordak---the news puts her into an uncharacteristic state of panic.

While VM travels around in search of ancient weapons to help defeat the Conclave, Allura eventually turns up in Whitestone, which has become the unofficial seat of a new war council. By the time VM shows up again, having killed one member of the Conclave, Kima and Allura are both there to greet them. At this point, the two of them have moved into a house in Whitestone together (there’s a cute moment where Vex knocks on Allura’s door early in the morning and Kima answers it in a too-big nightshirt) and are helping to coordinate studies of the orb under Whitestone as well as the defense of the city itself, once it becomes clear that forces are amassing there. Kima takes out a would-be assassin who comes after them in their home (part of an elaborate rakshasa revenge plot; Gilmore pulps his assassin, it’s a whole thing).

Kima winds up accompanying VM on their mission to Draconia to kill Vorugal, a member of the Conclave, and discovers before leaving that another member of the Conclave, Raishan, has been (in disguise) in Whitestone for some time, that she knows all of their secrets and could wipe out the last form of resistance in an instant, and that the party has worked out a very shaky secret deal with her, since it turns out they all want to kill Thordak. Despite Scanlan’s attempts to modify her memory to make her forget this revelation, Kima knows about the infiltration, and agrees to move forward with the plan regardless. The party manages to kill Vorugal and return back to Whitestone, at which point Raishan’s identity is revealed, for better or worse, to the entire war council.

Kima and Allura go to Fort Daxio to help coordinate troops for a final push against Thordak, who has settled down over the city of Emon and is slowly shaping the land into some sort of super-evil volcano. As you do. At Fort Daxio, Gatekeeper Xanthas, a former ally from Emon, reveals himself to have switched allegiances to work with Thordak, and manages to cast a Feeblemind spell on Allura. VM shows up in time to take Xanthas out and reverse the effects of the spell, at which point an extremely shaken Kima and Allura have their first “on-screen” kiss.

After Thordak is defeated, and Raishan escapes an attack from VM in the immediate aftermath of the battle, Kima and Allura accompany VM to Raishan’s hideout on the Island of Viscan, which once served as the home base of long-dead necromancer Opash. After some shenanigans with gravity-reversal and a whole lot of undead bodies, the party battles Raishan, with both Allura and Kima coming very close to death in the fight. In the aftermath, the party tries to escape the island with their dead and wounded... and discovers when their first spell fails that this island has some defenses in place against transportation magic.

Allura eventually manages to put down a teleportation circle and step through, but Kima hangs back a second, telling VM that something looks off about the circle. Before anyone can decide what to do, Kima resolutely steps through after Allura, and they both vanish. Keyleth manages to scry on them and discovers that they’ve landed in open ocean somewhere, which is bad news if you happen to be in full plate armor, like Kima. Through a complete fluke of a dice-roll (natural 20 on a perception check), Keyleth manages to spot them from the beach---swimming in the wrong direction and already exhausted---and Vex shoots out after them on her broom. 

She grabs Allura, Allura grabs Kima, and bookish-wizard Allura, zero-strength-modifier Allura manages to roll a natural 20 on her strength check to hang on to Kima until they get to safety.

In the aftermath, Allura and Kima are helping to put things back in order in Emon, ensuring together that more shadowy organizations like the Clasp don’t make too much of a bid for power in the chaos. When VM heads out on their next adventure, Kima makes sure to tell them that if they see Highbearer Vord, they should just pretend they haven’t seen her; she’s staying with Allura.

[boop-teh-snoot]

Excerpt From My WIP Novel

because for once I feel like I actually wrote something well enough to post?  I showed my friend, who HATES zombie literature, and he enjoyed it, so I’m going to go out on a limb and show people here.

Constructive criticism is welcome.  I’m wanting to publish this at some point (after edits and rewrites, of course), and I’m still shaky at this whole ‘writing’ thing, so please please please give me advice.

Basic Premise:  Think Sword Art Online, but instead of a fantasy game, it is “The Most Realistic Zombie Game In History™”.

WARNING:  There is a teeny bit of gore in it.  Also I think I used the f-word once.  So...there’s that.

If you don’t want to comment, just message me.  I generally reply to all messages, so that’s just the most convenient way to get ahold of me.  (Also I’m shit with tags.  I can’t keep up.  I love reading them and will occasionally use them myself, when I remember to, but for the most part...what are tags)

I'm not worried about dying.  This is a tutorial, for god's sake.  I gingerly step over a corpse and follow the thick yellow arrow that's trying to subtly guide me to my destination.  I don't really want to, to be honest.  Tutorials are a great place to grab a lot of loot of minimal effort, and since it is almost a guarantee that I won't be attacked until after I kill the creepy little kid that's munching on my virtual colleague, I'm confident that I'll be just fine.  I start trying to open lockers; most of them are locked, but the ones that aren't are...well, they're a major disappointment.  I can't even pick up gum.  There's a lot of lore in here though - diaries, notes, school books.  I pick up every single one, wait until the little "collected" mark appears on its cover, then set them all down again.  Their contents are registered to my codex now, so there's no point in picking them up right now.  When I get a safe zone and set up bookshelves, I can always come back to get them.

I can't open the gymnasium door.  It's not locked.  It's not chained.  It's just a door-colored wall.  I inhale deeply, pursing my lips in momentary frustration, then turn around and head back down the long hallway.  I try again with other doors, but the cafeteria, the teacher's lounge, and even the cafeteria are inaccessible to me.  That blows.  I turn back to the yellow arrow and follow it reluctantly down yet another straight and eerily empty hallway.  I try not to let the silence get to me.  I'm used to schools being loud and bustling, even after school; this void of sound is extremely out of place, and I am very uncomfortable.  A door to my left slowly swings open, and I swear I jump higher than I've ever jumped in my life.  *Ah, fuck.*  I don't have a weapon.  I don't have any good armor.  The best thing I have is a damned high-heel shoe that doesn't even have proper stabbing heels, just a rubber wedge - comfortable for walking, terrible for killing.  Still, I slide one off my pantyhosed foot and grip it tightly as I edge closer to the haunted door; I refuse to acknowledge that my hands are trembling.  In my head, I keep chanting the same mantra, over and over:  This is a tutorial.  Nothing is going to attack you.  This is a tutorial.  Nothing can hurt you.  This is a tutorial...

I spend far too long huddled right beside the doorframe; the answer to the riddle of the haunted classroom is literally inches from me, but the dread that clenches my heart squeezes every time I'm about to look.  I take a deep, trembling breath and slowly peek around the corner, my eye sweeping across the room for several seconds before it lands on the cause of all this: an open window, and a breeze catching the heavy wooden door to push it open.  I slump in relief and gasp out a weak, shuddering laugh at my own stupidity.  *You idiot!*, I chastise myself as I wobble on one leg to put the shoe back on my foot.  *You don't even have a weapon yet.  The tutorial isn't going to let you get attacked until you have a weapon, ya dingus.*  I give myself a few seconds to calm down, to let the adrenaline fade so my hands stop shaking like a leaf in a tornado.  I duck into the classroom to loot and am shocked to find that there is actually stuff to pick up here.  It's nothing great - there's some gum and an empty notebook in a desk, and the teacher's desk has a ring of keys and a pack of cigarettes.  I pocket them and close the window to prevent future scares.  "That was unnecessary," I inform the window sternly, mostly just to fill the silence.  "Are you trying to give me a heart attack?  I don't think the game is capable of resuscitating me."

This time, I smack my head against the window as another rustle behind me startles me again.  I spin around, this time pressing my entire body against the wall.  That wasn't the wind - that was definitely footsteps.  I swallow hard, trying to at least dampen my suddenly parched throat, but cannot otherwise move.  My eyes are locked on the door as the footsteps move closer and closer.  I can't tell if the approaching figure is dragging their feet or not.  At this point, I don't really care.  I'm completely unarmed.  If it's a zombie, I'm screwed unless I can duck around it somehow - and even that involves me waiting here until it finds me in this room.  The front of a figure appears in the doorway, stops, and turns to face me.  I am holding my breath - why?  I don't know - and staring at it in unabashed horror.  This is it.  This is how I die in a freaking tutorial.

"Are you alive?"  The figure, a heavyset middle-aged woman no taller than my virtual fourth-grade students, peers worriedly at me and takes a step forward.  I don't immediately respond, capable only of staring at her in mute shock.  She tilts her head slightly, her brow furrowing in concern.  "Are - are you alive?  Um.  I don't want to have to kill you.  Please answer me."

After a moment, I clear my throat to find my voice.  "I - uh.  I think so.  I'm not - Have you been bitten?"

She frowns at me.  "I don't understand.  What does that have to do with anything?"

"The zombies - I mean, the attackers - they all bite the people they attack.  I think that's how this sickness spreads."  I feel silly explaining this to what is most likely an NPC, but the role playing aspect of video games has always appealed to me.  If I'm going to play a TVR game, I'm going to do ir right, damn it.  I do not move from my spot plastered against the wall.  I have no intention to.  What if this woman is bitten?  What if she's about to turn?  I need to be able to get past her to run away, since I clearly can't kill her right now.  I have to be careful.  I am not dying in the stupid tutorial.

She slowly shakes her head as she enters the room.  There is blood on her olive-green dress, but none of it looks to be hers.  "No-o?  I'm fine."  She shuffles closer, her small eyes squinting at me with a combination of fear and concern glinting in her brown irises.  "I don't know what's going on.  You're the first living person I've found.  Please help me."  A single tear begins to trickle down her pudgy cheeks; she wipes it away, smearing her blush into a pink streak.  "We have to get out so we can call the police.  We have to leave the awful place.  Please - "

As much as I don't want to, I feel myself give a heavy resigned sigh.  "All right.  I'll help you."  I lightly push past her, mildly irritated that this tutorial seems to have evolved into a very unwanted escort mission.  *At least there's a chance I'll get bonus experience for getting her out of here...*  I glance at the floor to reorient myself to the direction of the yellow arrow, then beckon to her wth a flick of my hand.  "We need to get weapons.  Follow me."  She obeys without question or comment, further solidifying my theory that she's just an NPC, and we walk in silence down the yellow-arrowed hallway.  The arrow leads us to the reception desk; again, there are no corpses or zombies, but the streaks and splatters of blood across the desk and walls tells me that there used to be people here.  The NPC begins to weep quietly, but I ignore her as I examine the fire extinguisher the all-knowing arrow has led me to.  The tutorial information box has appeared over the extinguisher, instructing me to take and equip it as a weapon.  "Are you serious?" I mutter quietly as I lean forward to squint at it.  I have to use this as my tutorial weapon?

"Serious about what?"  I yelp and jerk aside at the little voice at my elbow.  The NPC was standing right behind me, also staring at the fire extinguisher; she gazes up at me with curious eyes, making her look way too childlike for her minimum forty years of age.  "What's wrong?"

I have to bite my tongue to keep from yelling at her.  "You startled me.  Please don't look over my shoulder."  She nods and scurries off to the receptionist's desk.  I cannot tell if she's legitimately searching for things to help us or if she's just trying to look busy.  Either way, she's out of my hair.  I ignore the extinguisher for the time being and continue my search for a better weapon.  In the receptionist's desk, between the desk and its bottom drawer, is a broken yardstick.  It's terrible, but it's better than the bulky heavy tube of freezing foam the tutorial demands I use.  I grab at it, but my hand goes right through it as if it's a hologram in a space pirate game.  I swipe at it again, then sigh heavily and turn away.  Maybe after the tutorial I can try again, but for now, it's a moot point.  I search the other drawers to find nothing but a locked drawer.  I try every key on the key ring, but none of them open it.  I make a mental note to try to find the receptionist's corpse (or shambling body; either works) and step away from the desk with a heavy sigh.  "Extinguisher it is, then."

It takes nearly four jerks before the extinguisher finally comes free.  I stagger backward at the sudden awkward bulk of weight that is now shifted to the heart of my chest.  I thought I hated it when I first saw it, but now that I actually have it in my possession, I absolutely loathe it.  If this was a fantasy game, this would be the equivalent of a two handed warhammer.  

[afrikanza]

10 African Masterpieces of Literature & Song

The following is our list of the most famous pieces of work about Africa, cutting across:

literature

politics

poetry

painting

and sculpture.

Africa has great pieces of creative work that surprisingly even many Africans have never seen or heard of; this is due to Africa’s wide geographical spread, multilingual barrier, and very few Afro-focused media.

With that said, let’s jump right into it, shall we?

10. Things Fall Apart

Novel, By Chinua Achebe – Nigeria

This is a literary piece of work written by one of the best African writers of all time – Chinua Achebe[i]. Chinua Achebe hails from Nigeria[ii].

Things Fall Apart[iii] is a piece of work that focuses on a clash of traditions during Africa’s transition period from the colonial rule. It is at this period that Africa’s traditional values were in a violent clash with those values of their colonial subjugators.

Even though the Western culture brought profound positive effects on Africa – including modern industrialization and infrastructure, it nonetheless caused tremendous destruction in terms of Africa’s authentic traditional values that held families together and defined the gender roles.

Things Fall Apart is a theme about characterization and demonstration of Africa’s torn socio-cultural fabric as different forces fight for their own domain.

9. An African Thunderstorm

Poem, By David Rubadiri – Malawi

David Rubadiri[iv] is a great poet, writer, novelist, diplomat, and playwright from Malawi[v].

Like most early African writers, he ran afoul with his country’s government under dictator Hastings Kamuzu Banda and ran into exile in Uganda[vi]. While in Uganda, Obote’s government was overthrown, forcing him again to run into exile in Kenya[vii].

He served twice as his country’s diplomat, first has Malawi’s first ambassador to the US. After Kamuzu Banda ceased to be president, he returned to the country and later became his country’s Ambassador to the UN.

The following poetry extract is one of his great pieces of work, An African Thunderstorm[viii]:

Pregnant clouds

Ride stately on its back,

Gathering to perch on hills

Like sinister dark wings;

The wind whistles by

And trees bend to let it pass.

And like most writers of his time, he was critical of poor governance and leadership in Africa. Some of his work was critical of Africa’s despotic regimes.

8. Burger’s Daughter

Novel, By Nadine Gordimer – South Africa

This is a historical and political novel by Nadine Gordimer[ix], one of Africa’s earliest literary Nobel Laureates.

This piece of work focuses on the criticism of the era of the draconian Apartheid regime of South Africa. Burger’s Daughter[x] was billed by the New York Times as Gordimer ’s most political and most moving novel.

7. Bahora Girl

Painting, by Irma Stern – South Africa

This is a great painting that fetched one of the highest auction bids for such a piece of art in Africa.

Bohari Girl[xi] was painted by Irma Stern[xii], one of South Africa’s [xiii] most renowned personalities and a leading figure in the art scene. Apart from this masterpiece, Stern has painted many other pieces of art that have etched their place in the international art scene.

6. Daily Mirror

Sculpture, by Ben Enwonwu – Nigeria

Billed as Africa’s most influential artist of the 20th Century, Odinigwe Benedict Chukwukadibia Enwonwu, popularly knowns as Ben Enwonwu[xiv], is an artist and sculptor.

One of his most famous piece of work is the ‘Daily Mirror’[xv] sculpture, which he created in May 2013.

5. Senufo Female

Sculpture, by Master of Sinasso – Ivory Coast

Senufo Female[xvi] is a sculpture created by one of the most celebrated Ivory Coast[xvii] artists by the name Master of Sinasso[xviii].

It is a sculpture representing a traditional female body of the Senufo people of Ivory Coast. This piece of work fetched $12 million at its auction, bought by Sothebys.

4. Construction of the Suez Canal

Painting, by Abdul Hadi El-Gazzar – Egypt

Construction of the Suez Canal[xix] is one of the best modern masterpieces from Egypt[xx] that depicts its topic.

It is a painting drawn by Abdul Hadi El-Gazzar[xxi], one of Egypt’s most celebrated artists of modern times.

Egypt is a famous ancient civilization characterized by great artwork, science, engineering, and construction. Pyramids, paintings, sculptures, and religious edicts define this great land of the Pharaohs.

This masterpiece was able to fetch $1 million at an auction in Dubai in 2014.

3. Les Chadoufs

Painting, by Mahmoud Said – Egypt

Les Chadoufs[xxii] painting depicts the ancient Shaduf Screw method of irrigation which was invented by the ancient Egyptians over two millenniums ago as a way of irrigating farms along the River Nile.

The painting was drawn by Mahmoud Siad[xxiii], a famous painter from Egypt. It was auctioned at Christie’s for a whopping $2 million.

2. Aye Africa

Song, by Franklin Boukaka – DRC

This is a great song that many people brand it as “Africa’s Anthem”.

It is a deep moving song with that moves any listener who understands the plight of Africa, especially after the mirage of the so-called ‘Independence’.

In the song, Franklin Boukaka[xxiv] questions whether this war, poverty and misery that Africa faces is the independence and freedom that was promised by the Independence heroes.

From his background as a Congolese from the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC)[xxv], the song is painfully relevant when you realize that DRC is in deep turmoil that has so far claimed over 10 million lives, not forgetting that over 6 million of them that were massacred by King Leopold of Belgium prior to independence.

This is a painful song. Its lyrics can move any patriot to tears. A song from the deep heart of a martyr who was killed trying to fight for a better country through words and deeds.

The song was sung in French. The following are some parts of the translated lyrics:

Ahe Africa he

Eh he Africa

Where is your freedom?

Where is your liberty?

Oh, it is hard labor to cut wood fire!

With such sufferings with our kids!

I don’t know how to fix that.

I gave my confidence

To people only focused on luxury stuffs and cars

But when elections comes, they remind me as an important person for them

The colonizer left already

But what do we do with this freedom now?

You can listen to this great piece of work and its lyrics from this video:

Rest In Peace, Franklin Boukaka.

1. Nkosi Sikelel’ iAfrika

Song, by Enoch Sontonga – South Africa

Translated as ‘God Bless Africa’, this is another emotionally moving son by a great son of Africa – Enoch Sontonga. It’s greatness is evidenced by the fact that it has been adapted by several countries in Southern Africa as their national anthem.

These includes South Africa itself, Zambia, Namibia, Tanzania (in Swahili version), and Zimbwabwe (Shona version).

Enoch Sontonga[xxvi] was a teacher and Choirmaster at the Methodist Mission School in South Africa.  He composed and sung the song as part of religious service and as a special dedication to his continent – Africa.

Enoch Sontonga died in obscurity during his youth at a prime age of only 33 years. But, his giant legacy lives on in this great masterpiece that has been adopted as a National Anthem for 5 African countries.

His spirit guided and blessed most of Southern Africa’s liberation heroes as it was the song of choice during their liberation struggle. A simple man whose hearty song invigorated the liberation spirit of a people of 5 countries of Africa.

The song has been adapted in many languages across Africa. In South Africa alone, it has been adapted in Xhosa (its original language), Zulu, Afrikaans, and English.

Here are some of the English extracts:

Lord bless Africa

May her glory be lifted high

Hear our petitions Lord bless us, your children

Lord we ask You to protect our nation

Intervene and end all conflicts

Protect us, protect our nation

Protect South Africa, South

Out of the blue of our heavens

Out of the depths of our seas

Over our everlasting mountains

Where the echoing crags resound

Sounds the call to come together

And united we shall stand

Let us live and strive for freedom

In South Africa our land

May Sontoga’s spirit be blessed.

Parting words

Africa is the source of the world’s most ancient civilizations. Every source of civilization has its culture which is described through different pieces of work. The top 10 most famous pieces of work about Africa provided herein helps to reignite memories of Africa’s rich cultural heritage.

Resources:

[i] Chinua Achebe

[ii]  Facts About Nigeria

[iii] Things Fall Apart

[iv] David Rubadiri

[v] Facts About Malawi

[vi] Facts About Uganda

[vii] Facts About Kenya

[viii] An African Thunderstorm

[ix] Nadine Gordimer

[x] Burger’s Daughter

[xi] Bohari Girl

[xii] Irma Stern

[xiii] Facts About South Africa

[xiv] Ben Enwonwu

[xv] Daily Mirror

[xvi] Senufo Female

[xvii] Facts About Ivory Coast

[xviii] Master of Sinasso

[xix] Construction of the Suez Canal

[xx] Facts About Egypt

[xxi] Abdul Hadi El-Gazzar

[xxii] Les Chadoufs

[xxiii] Mahmoud Said

[xxiv] Franklin Boukaka

[xxv] Facts About Democratic Republic of Congo

[xxvi] Enoch Sontonga

The post 10 African Masterpieces of Literature & Song appeared first on Afrikanza.

[shauryadoval-blog]

Shaurya Doval – On a mission to empower the less privileged

Early Life and Family Ghiri is a village located amidst the captivating landscape of Pauri Garhwal (Uttarakhand). Shaurya Doval was born into a brahmin family that dwelt here over several generations, whose ancestors served as Prime Minister to the former Garhwal Kingdom. His father, Shri. Ajit Doval, is a former Indian intelligence and law enforcement officer and is currently the National Security Advisor to the Prime Minister. His mother, Smt. Aruni Doval, from the Dasmana family in Bagyali, Pauri Garhwal, was a teacher prior to retirement. Shaurya’s wife, Divya, is an oncologist. She too is from Garhwal and belongs to the Nautiyal family of Tehri.

Education Shaurya began his education in the disciplined environment of the Army Public School. For higher studies he attended the prestigious Hindu College of Delhi University from where he graduated with top honours in Economics. Shaurya led an active life in college, excelling in sports, debating and other cultural activities.

Professional Career His outstanding capability and performance helped him secure a job with Arthur Andersen when he was just 20 years old. Offered the opportunity of becoming a Chartered Accountant by the company, Shaurya pursued his studies while working. He became a Chartered Account when he was only 23 years. In recognition of his capabilities and potential Shaurya gained admission in United Kingdom’s London School of Business and USA’s Chicago University, premier institutions that are part of the top 10 business schools of the world. After completing his MBA, Shaurya worked at senior positions in leading global financial services firms like Morgan Stanley, G.E. Capital, etc. where he got the opportunity to demonstrate his financial and business acumen.

Achievements Shaurya kept climbing the corporate ladder on the strength of his capabilities, gaining respect and accolades as a financial consultant. In 2009 he returned and founded the India centric Think Tank ‘India Foundation’ through which he has worked tirelessly to navigate the changing course of India’s future.

Shaurya has been closely involved with the power sector and has been a consultant to many companies in this industry. The country’s prestigious Institute of Economic Studies acknowledged his contributions to the Power Sector by conferring him with the ‘Udyog Ratan’ award in 2012.

In year 2015, Shaurya was awarded the prestigious Eisenhower Fellowship, an honour that very few are offered. These change agents are invited because of their innovative leadership and significant achievements.

Along with being a family man, an accomplished professional, a responsible husband, father and son, Shaurya is a proud citizen of India, mindful of his duties and responsibilities.

A Unique Perspective to Manage Grave Challenges

The needs of the nation, culture and society being in the forefront of his consciousness, Shaurya has associated himself with many organisations and programmes that work to positively impact the people of India. A reserved and committed person, Shaurya stays away from empty populist activity, believing that actions speak louder than words. Inspired by the RSS and pledged to nation building, he co-founded the think-tank, ‘India Foundation’, through which he works for the upliftment of society, and many critical issues, concerns and programmes that impact India’s policy making.

He is associated with setting up the Dharma Life Foundation, through which institution he was able to give concrete form to his new thinking through programmes for the youth, women, the elderly, including rural entrepreneurship and employability.

For Garhwal Having demonstrated his capability across the globe as an excellent administrator and successful businessman, Shaurya Doval wants to put his skills to use for the country and his countrymen. In this endeavour, he will use his education and experience, his farsightedness and knowledge in technology, economics, ideas and implementation with a problem-solving, business perspective. He is keen on building his country, his state and the society by evaluating ideas and programmes that could contribute to the social upliftment and sustained development of the people.

Keeping Garhwal and Uttarakhand as focus, Shaurya has conceived a unique movement that will give the people of the region a purposeful platform to combine their resources and efforts. This movement has been aptly named, ‘Bemisaal Garhwal’. It reflects Shaurya’s concern and aspiration for his culture and society. An expression of the pride his motherland inspires in him, which motivates him to do something for the people of his state. Shaurya invites every Garhwali, supporters and well-wishers of Garhwal to be ready to join the movement, and add their thoughts, support and effort to this movement, contributing in whatever manner possible to building a happy, healthy and prosperous society in Garhwal and India.

India Foundation

In year 2009 Shaurya established the India Foundation together with Shri Ram Madhavji. The underlying principle behind creating this Think Tank was to look at India from an ‘India Perspective’. So that India and the Indian perspective would remain at the forefront when discussing and developing policy for the country. The financial tumult on the global scene required introspection and reflection on the breakdown of financial and business standards. The nation was looking at a more India-centric approach. At a policy making level, India Foundation was convinced that to truly address India’s problems and needs it was not enough to impose inherited or acquired policies, or to wait for a handout as a developing nation. India needed to take control and shape its future and establish itself as a nation to be reckoned with on the world forum.

India Foundation and Shaurya Doval, as its Founder Director, have since then been committed to building a ‘Great India’ through the think tank’s deeds, its thinking and its attitude. The foundation has been closely involved in activity to promote India’s reputation and goodwill both, within the country and across the world. Shaurya and India Foundation have played an important role in spreading this thinking to all the nation’s well-wishers and supporters. Showcasing India’s cultural diversity and impact across a wider audience. Remaining diligent to its strategic India focus, while nurturing a vibrant and secure India.

Shaurya is also concerned on the economic front, one of the core issues of India Foundation is, how will India gain prosperity and emerge as a super power. Shaurya has been working towards this end with the foundation, for the last 10 years through its outlook and programmes, charting out a course for a bright future for the country, which is grounded and achievable.

A Unique Vision

Shaurya deliberates extensively on issues and problems to understand them and identify possible solutions and answers. His experience both within the country and across the globe, has helped in assessing issues closely. His background in financial planning and management has been a great help in this matter.

He believes in the power of ‘self-help’ and advocates the need for us to be independent and to look within for a solution to our problems. He firmly believes that any individual, institution or even the government can only help to a limited degree. It is only when we decide that we actively want a resolution that we start thinking out-of-the-box. We search for solutions, enforce and adapt them to suit our unique needs. It is only then that we grow and develop as strong individuals who can transform themselves and society. This is also the founding philosophy behind the ‘Bemisaal Garhwal’ mission.

‘Bemisaal Garhwal’ Mission Shaurya’s connection and devotion to his ancestral village and his compatriots from the region and the citizens of Uttarakhand has inspired and motivated him to make an impactful contribution to the region. ‘Bemisaal Garhwal’ is a direct consequence of his deliberations on the subject. Shaurya welcomes all citizens, supporters and well-wishers to join hands to build the nation, state and society through their efforts and support.

This movement derives from Garhwali pride and will enhance its prestige, tourism potential, to benefit its social welfare and economic situation. The combined efforts of the people will benefit the people of Garhwal and Uttarakhand and give them the control and confidence to build a brighter future for their region.

It is also true that Garhwalis have a deep respect and feeling for their motherland and its sentiments, traditions, culture and heritage. They inspire great pride in us ...and why not? The folktales, stories, epics, songs of this region’s chivalry, bravery and grandeur are a boon from this land of the gods. Just like the powerful Himalayas, Garhwal too is awe-inspiring and satisfying, while at the same time it is testimony to the past and a harbinger of the future. And it is ‘bemisaal’ .... singularly unique ...a future that must be preserved and enhanced. This is not the vision or wish of Shaurya Doval alone, it is the cumulative yearning of all Garhwalis.

Come, join this mission, with respect and commitment.

Home

Welcome to my page.

I, Shaurya Doval, am a Garhwali, an Uttarakhandi, but before all, a proud dedicated Indian. I am committed to my motherland, her ethnicity, culture and society. Hoping to serve my country, fellow countrymen and my society in a manner such that it contributes in a small way to enhance a greater sense wellbeing, pride, security and happiness.

Dharma Life Foundation

Dharma Life Foundation in a non-profit organisation that works with rural households to improve their quality of life through entrepreneurship at the village level. Shaurya and his team at Dharma Life focus their attention on critical issues that India faces like health, sanitation, education and unemployment. The foundation addresses these challenges at the rural level by supporting entrepreneurship, building business skills, and identifying opportunities that align with market requirements.

In addition to health, education and unemployment, Dharma Life Foundation also works in areas like sanitation, digital education, smart villages/panchayats concentrating mainly on the youth and women of rural India. Helping them to set up their own enterprises, teaching them skills to successfully run and grow their businesses.

Today Dharma Life Foundation is brightening the future of rural youth and women in 12 states of the country. The foundation has created one entrepreneur for every three villages in these states, with 13,000 businesses having been created. Of which 9,000 are run by women alone. Cumulatively, their efforts have positively impacted 80 lakh persons in total till date.

Shaurya has been associated with Dharma Life Foundation right from the stage of concept, through creation. Now after the successful implementation of its programmes in several states in India, Shaurya Doval is bringing the helpful agency of Dharma Life to Uttarakhand. In addition to education, health and digital literacy in villages, the foundation will work towards empowering women through entrepreneurship. Through its interventions Dharma Life Foundation is helping establish a new sustainable entrepreneur model in Uttarakhand.