#its titled like this bc i already leaked the title before i realized i could do bullets

[stellaricwriting]

the one where you straight up defile a ruin (but not really)

sometimes its 3am and u realize u can write bullet point style and not stress urself to the point of not writing trying to make full out fics. so.

pix isn't usually the type to fuck in an archeological find. he has standards. concerns. a personal duty to preserve history

however

pix also fucks nasty. fucks deep and takes his time to ruin you, confident hands running over your body as he overwhelms you with pleasure

it's not uncommon to go exploring with pix, it's fun watching him work, his excitement at finding something new infectious and making you smile giddily

this time it's something new, something big and when you finally find a way in, it takes your breath away

the temple is obviously old, dust coating every surface, abandoned spiderwebs wilted in the corners. it's in amazing condition, the only damage visible the natural kind, time taking it's toll on the preserved holy place

you think you could spend hours just looking around, taking in all the details, and if you feel this way then you can't imagine how pix feels right now

at least, until you feel his hands on your waist, firm an warm as he moves them down to rest on your hips as he presses against you from behind

you can feel his smile against the sensitive skin of your neck as he presses soft kisses there, his stubble rough as he slowly turns them more heated, open mouthed kisses that turn into him sucking marks into your skin

you melt into him, putty in his hands, and the next thing you know you're bent over one of the ancient alters, pix's hand firm on the small of your back as he works a second finger inside you

he's so skilled with his hands, your pix, and it doesn't take him long to reduce you to a moaning mess, little gasping whines and whimpers escaping you with every smooth thrust of his hand

he wants you needy, wants you prepped and eager for his cock, he wants you near desperate for him, on the edge of begging before he presses into you, groaning softly at the wet heat as he bottoms out inside you

he pins you to the alter, firm hands holding you still as he kissing up your spine, leaving pretty bite marks as he goes, worshiping you as he rocks his hips into you, slowly building up speed until he's fucking into you deep and smooth, punching moans out of you with every thrust

he makes you come like that, mind hazy with pleasure and dizzy with want, and you think he's going to follow shortly after but instead he just keeps fucking into you, picking up the pace as he focuses more on his own pleasure

which isn't to say that he ignores yours. he absolutely makes you come again before he does, because he's a gentleman. he wants to watch you lay there limp over the alter, shivering through the aftershocks of your second orgasm

absolutely fingers his cum back into you and just. pulls up your underwear. expects you to do your best to keep it in while he marks the temple on the map. he takes longer than necessary doing this. on purpose.

helps you clean up at home, washes you in a nice hot shower or runs a bath for you with the works, takes time to wash your hair for you and dries it carefully for you afterwards

[chaosbrewing]

your fault

okay, brief message before you read on:

I wrote this at like three in the morning. It’s horribly ooc, doesn’t quite fit the time period, absconds from the storyline, and some of it is incoherent, but I want to start posting more of my work. With that in mind, I’ve totally fallen in love with The Glass Scientists/ @glass-scientists y’all need to read it bc you just need to. anyways here’s my really bad writing.

“ENOUGH!”

Those of the lodgers that were not already at the balcony darted to its edge in order to better observe the conflict that was unfolding. Even Frankenstein had descended from the attic to watch, albeit with a disapproving look on her face.

“Is that Hyde?” Rachel blinked, rushing to the edge.

“I dunno,” Jasper replied, quickly following her. “It sounded like…”

“...Dr. Jekyll?”

The man in question was standing in the middle of the atrium, panting. His normally perfectly quaffed brown hair was frizzy and standing on end. His eyes, which Rachel realized for the first time were not a saturated shade of brown but of deep red, were bloodshot and red.

“I have had it up to HERE with this!” Jekyll hissed. Gone was the collected gentleman, continuously charming his way out of sticky situations; in his place was a firecracker, a ticking time bomb, a lit fuse.

“Ever since the Society was founded, it has been my job to keep you all safe. I’m the one keeping a roof over your head. I’m the one who deals with every problem that arises!”

“Henry, you forget yourself,” Lanyon growled. As always, he was the picture of a perfect gentleman in his deep indigo suit, cool and collected.

“No, Lanyon, I am perfectly capable of voicing my feelings,” Henry replied coldly.

“You lot don’t want to do an exhibition, do you? Well fine! But I don’t have any more money to keep this place running, and Lanyon’s father refuses to fund us any longer!”

Every expression in the room was unreadable, but for the doctor’s. His chest was rising and falling at an alarming rate; beneath his freckles, his normally pale face had gone bright red.

“We. Have. No. More. Money. I am up to my EARS in bills! Without an exhibition, without gaining patrons, you’ll all be back out on the streets in a week’s time. And what do I get for what I do?”

Jasper swallowed hard, staring at Dr. Jekyll.

“I GET SPAT ON. I GET CALLED A SLUT BY MY CHILDHOOD IDOL, THE ONE SCIENTIST WHO PROMPTED MY ENTRY INTO THE FIELD ITSELF!” Henry screamed. “AND YOU LOT—YOU HATE ME! YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE TO SAY IT OUT LOUD, I KNOW IT!”

“You lied to me about Hyde!” Rachel called out boldly, hands on her hips. “You’ve penned us all in! You don’t care about science, you just want a profit!”

Henry’s glare turned cold.

“So that’s it, then, isn’t it?” he chuckled bitterly. “You lot hate me. I can’t say I haven’t suspected it all along.”

“You want Hyde? You’ll get Hyde. And I won’t be coming back.”

From the inner pocket of his red vest, he pulled a vial filled with gleaming green liquid. The potion seemed to have an aura of evil about it; everyone recoiled slightly.

Henry popped the cap from the vial and drained it.

“HENRY!” Lanyon screamed, rushing toward him.

As his friend was held back by the others, Jekyll collapsed to the floor and began to convulse. The vial shattered next to him; Henry was clutching at his head in evident agony. The room watched in quiet horror as the man before them twitched and contorted.

“Ahahahaha….Ahahaha….AHAHAHAHA!”

Cackling filled the silence, vile and cruel and ever-so-familiar. Jekyll had stopped twitching. The man began to sit up; there was green liquid leaking from his eyes and mouth. He ran a hand through his blonde hair, prompting Rachel to gasp.

“His...His clothing’s changed,” Jasper blinked. “And his hair? What’s that on about?”

“I’m baaaaaack,” Hyde smirked evilly, glaring at the lodgers with a pair of bright green eyes.

A collective gasp issued forth. Lanyon looked horrified.

“Mr. Hyde!” Rachel cried, aghast.

“Hello, Rachel,” Hyde replied, sneering.

“But—But Dr. Jekyll was—how are you—what are you?!” Jasper yelled.

“I am the product of many years of study by your wonderful friend, Dr. Jekyll,” Edward replied. “Or perhaps friend is not the term? I believe you voiced your hatred of him earlier...how unfortunate…”

“What have you done with him?” Lanyon cried softly. “Bring him back this instant!”

“Oh, it was no choice of mine,” Hyde blinked, giving Lanyon an owlish stare. “You see, Jekyll makes those choices. And it seems you finally pushed him over the edge.”

He ran a hand through his unruly blonde hair, reveling in the attention he was receiving.

“When Henry was nothing more than a lad, science delighted and distracted him from the rest of the world. He devoted hours to his studies—I’d say he accomplished more by age ten than most men by age thirty! But he was constantly craving approval...his mother denied him, his friends called him crazy, even the citizens of the city! So he gave up on the sciences.”

All were captivated as the blonde demon spun his story, pacing about the room in an energetic sort of way. It was almost as if he found the telling of the tale to be an exciting journey.

“Henry came to London, where he found dear Lanyon,” Hyde hummed. “Oh, Lanyon….how he yearned for a friend! And you, you were so much more than a friend to him. He wanted praise. He longed to be accepted. He sought to become a true part of society, and you took him under your wing. You didn’t even notice how in love he was with you,” he cackled.

Lanyon’s tan skin paled to a shade one might have thought impossible for a person of his complexion.

“In—In love?” he stammered.

“Oh, he was head over heels,” Hyde giggled. “He would have done anything for you, Lanyon! Why, in our mind he created a version of the perfect English gentleman—it’s you, Lanyon! You in all your fine glory. Your mannerisms, even your physical appearance! He looked up to you, he adored you, he loved you.”

The simpering smile on Edward’s face turned to a scowl.

“I find you a pest,” he hummed boredly. “An annoying brat. I’ve no clue what he saw in you.”

“But I’ve digressed, haven’t I? The times began to shift—people turned against science, and Henry sought to protect it in the one way he knew would work.”

“By giving it all the titles and airs of a respectful high society organization,” Jasper breathed.

“Excellent, my dear boy!” Hyde crowed.

“Yes, indeed! He formed the society to keep you all safe. To foster the opportunity for you all to grow and use your skills, a chance he never had.”

“But where do you come in?” Rachel asked quietly.

“Ah, see, I come right after the society’s creation,” Edward chuckled sinisterly. “Henry picked up the chemicals in one last burst of creativity. A few exotic powders, a few oils, a few extracts...and a pinch of one rare salt. The first sip was painful. The bloody thing tasted like shit, and then he had to go and collapse from the horrific pain. But he’d truly done it! He’d separated the good from the evil in his soul, and I finally had free rein.”

He tipped his hat in Frankenstein’s direction. “Here’s your proof, m’lady.”

The scientist in question was observing with a cold expression on her face.

“And Henry, once he’d regained control, swore to never tell a soul! I spent each day torturing him, oh yes,” Hyde smirked. “I brought up his worst memories...his deepest fears...he always thought you’d see right through him. He was constantly terrified you’d see him for who he really was, that you’d see him for me, and abandon him! Greedy, pathetic little Jekyll...he constantly hungered for praise. Of course, having lacked it in our childhood, I can’t say I blamed him.”

“What are you saying?” Lanyon whispered.

“You, my dear Mister Lanyon, were to never find out,” Edward hummed. “Oh, the agony of Henry’s dearest companion learning of his wicked alchemy! The profound corruption of his soul!”

He cackled.

“And, bit by bit, your little comments wore him down. Your critiques, both gentle and harsh. Being called a slut, by Auntie Frankenstein over there, was quite a blow, as well. And now...well, your hatred pushed him over the edge,” Hyde shrugged. “He relinquished every last bit of control to me, and I don’t intend to give it back. He could not handle the pain any longer.”

“So he’s gone forever?” Jasper whimpered.

“Don’t snivel, boy!” Hyde growled. “Pathetic, you are—just like he was! Poor, pathetic, anxiety-riddled, unlovable Henry Jekyll, who could never see past his oh-so-obvious flaws and would never make it in this world!”

Lanyon was crying silent tears. They streamed over his cheeks, dripping from the end of his chin and onto the floor.

“Don’t call him unlovable,” he whispered coldly.

“I loved him. Perhaps I did not realize it before, but…”

Every tender moment they’d shared. Every awkward emotional gaze.

“I taught him to dance,” he whispered. “I can still remember how he trembled in my arms...how he blushed and giggled when I bowed to him and kissed him on the hand…”

“He always gave me advice,” Rachel said quietly. “He even let me pull him away from important conversations.”

“He taught me how to present. He cried when I told him I wasn’t giving up like everyone else,” Jasper whispered.

Soon the other lodgers were all nodding and adding their own stories, recalling how much Dr. Jekyll had given of his own time just to preserve theirs.

“I vas...too hasty in my assessment of him,” Frankenstein said quietly. “A most honorable man he vas, it seems.”

An expression of determination crossed Lanyon’s face. He drew a dagger from the inside of his pocket.

“I may have been blind before, but I will not let Henry’s memory be tarnished,” he said firmly. “He did far more for us than I ever thought. And keeping all of that bottled up inside…”

“The perfect recipe for chaos,” Hyde cackled. “Just as I like it!”

“This is for Henry,” Lanyon hissed, shoving Hyde against the wall with enough force to at least bruise his head.

“So, the pretty boy is strong?” Edward smirked.

Lanyon stabbed him in between the ribs; Hyde’s eyes widened as blood began to pour down his front.

“No...no, no, NO!”

His last word was an ungodly screech, echoing painfully around the atrium. Blonde hair darkened into brown; vivid green eyes became harsh red, then a softer shade.

Henry coughed weakly. Blood trickled down his chin from the corner of his mouth. He placed a hand to his bleeding chest, where Lanyon was now applying compressions.

“It’s no use, Lanyon,” he said quietly, before coughing. “It’s no use. And it’s for the best, really. Don’t even bother.”

“I’m not letting you go, Henry Jekyll,” Lanyon said fiercely, tears filling his eyes.

“The world needs more brilliant men like you. Too many of us are stuck up. Trapped in our shells. Unable to see beyond, like you can.”

“Ve need more people to protect our craft, as you have,” Frankenstein nodded.

A weak smile crossed Henry’s face; it was quickly broken by a hacking cough.

“I’ve always...always wanted to be complimented by you,” he whispered. “Thank you…”

“Don’t leave me, Henry!” Lanyon cried. “Please, Henry! Please!”

With one arm under his friend’s head, he cradled him close to his chest. His tears spilled down onto Henry’s face, mingling with the brunette’s own tears.

“I love you, Lanyon,” Henry whispered. “I’m so sorry that I wasn’t enough.”

“You’ve always been enough, Henry,” Lanyon shook his head. “You’ve always been more than enough! I was foolish to not see that before. You’re everything to me. Everything! I need you, Henry. You better not leave me!”

He stopped.

“I—I love you! I love you, Henry!”

The room was utterly silent.

Henry had stopped breathing.

“NO!”

A ragged wail tore itself free from Lanyon’s lips as the man caved in on himself. He was still cradling Henry’s body; it took the aid of several lodgers, all of whom had come down to gather around the doctor, to pry the two away from each other.

“No, Henry, please,” Lanyon whispered. He closed his eyes; the tears continued to flow hot against his cheeks.

“I didn’t get to tell you…”

[braverytaught]

please meta about minerva's thoughts when severus became headmaster !

@lamentedhope || send me meta topics || always accepting

okay so to answer this one i want to go back to when severus was initially appointed his position at hogwarts.

because i know i’ve mentioned this before, but minerva, initially, fiercely protested severus’s appointment. she knew that severus was a death eater, and, while this is, i think, mere conjecture on my part, i also believe that she knew that severus had been the one to deliver news of the prophecy to voldemort. this was more than enough for her to severely dislike and distrust him.

she had no idea why dumbledore vouched so firmly for severus, why dumbledore helped severus avoid prosecution, why dumbledore trusted him enough to place him in charge of students. she knew that dumbledore knew or believed something that led him to protect and trust severus, but her usual trust in dumbledore didn’t extend so far as to prevent her from questioning his decision to hire severus. in fact, she protested it vehemently, more than once, until dumbledore asked her if she seriously believed that he would bring danger to his students.

that quieted her, but she was still against severus’s appointment, and made no real effort to hide this fact. in fact, i’m just going to quote from a thread i wrote a long while back on this very subject:

    Her new tactic for coping with the unfortunate presence of Severus Snape in the castle was to ignore his existence completely as often as she was able, and make any necessary interactions brief and chilly; she saw no reason to give him any illusions about her opinion of him. This had, at least, prevented any incidents, though it had also made her snappier and more mulish than she usually was before the start of a new term.

as we are all aware, minerva almost never hides her dislike for people. she will maintain a veneer of politeness, but she makes little effort to hide her disdain, and i’m afraid that severus endured some pretty overt unfriendliness from her during the first few years of his teaching career. all this to stay that they started from a bad place: minerva neither liked severus nor trusted him. she tolerated his presence only because of her trust in dumbledore.

what matters, of course, is that their relationship improved over the years by quite a bit. they were never best friends, and minerva didn’t necessarily agree with many of severus’s attitudes or methods, but she had to admit that severus was, if irascible, also capable and, in some ways, good at his job in much the same way she was good at hers (in fact, harry compares the two of them at his very first potions lesson: “Like Professor McGonagall, Snape had the gift of keeping a class silent without effort.”). over time, their rivalry became a far friendlier one than before. severus never gave any reason to believe that he had not really repented, and gradually minerva began to trust him as a colleague directly rather than merely trusting dumbledore’s convictions.

they argued over quidditch. they argued over houses. they argued over which students were the worst troublemakers. they argued over what teaching methods were most affective. they argued over trivial things, and minerva enjoyed it. she and severus ended up becoming something like dumbledore’s right and left hands: when there was trouble, she and severus usually flanked dumbledore on the way to it, and i do think the three of them shared many confidences and concerns. no matter what odds she and severus may have been at on a casual basis, whenever there was real trouble, they were on the same side, and minerva grew to rely on and be grateful for that assistance.

all this to say that, over the course of some fifteen years of working together, minerva’s initial bitter dislike for severus gradually became real respect, real trust. they were, on some level, friends. they were certainly colleagues who respected each other, took pleasure from their banter, and had each other’s backs when it mattered. minerva really believed that severus was on their side. she vouched for him to others. she defended him against those who doubted his motives. she felt concern for him when he spied for the order after voldemort’s rise to power. 

and then he murdered albus dumbledore, minerva’s greatest colleague and mentor.

and i don’t think i have to say how devastated she was. actually, i have said so, in this meta – which, actually, i’m going to draw from just now, for a couple of different points.

here is minerva’s initial reaction to being told the news:

“Snape killed Dumbledore,” said Harry.

She stared at him for a moment, then swayed alarmingly; Madam Pomfrey, who seemed to have pulled herself together, ran forward, conjuring a chair from thin air, which she pushed under McGonagall.

“Snape,” repeated McGonagall faintly, falling into the chair. “We all wondered … but he trusted … always … Snape … I can’t believe it… .”

she already knew dumbledore was dead. the alarming swaying comes from her shock at the realization that it was severus who did it. 

“He always hinted that he had an ironclad reason for trusting Snape,” muttered Professor McGonagall, now dabbing at the corners of her leaking eyes with a tartan-edged handkerchief. “I mean … with Snape’s history … of course people were bound to wonder … but Dumbledore told me explicitly that Snape’s repentance was absolutely genuine… . Wouldn’t hear a word against him!”

and here we have an acknowledgment of dumbledore’s defense of severus. she clearly never knew the reason that dumbledore “hinted” at, but we can see that minerva had had explicit conversations with dumbledore on the topic, had tried to say words against him, and had ultimately chosen to accept dumbledore’s trust in him. 

but what really gets me is this:

“This is all my fault,” said Professor McGonagall suddenly. She looked disoriented, twisting her wet handkerchief in her hands. “My fault. I sent Filius to fetch Snape tonight, I actually sent for him to come and help us! If I hadn’t alerted Snape to what was going on, he might never have joined forces with the Death Eaters. I don’t think he knew they were there before Filius told him, I don’t think he knew they were coming.”

i won’t go on about how un-mcgonagall-like minerva’s acting here, bc i’ve already done that in the meta i linked, but here we can see, in the midst of her shock and grief, a disoriented minerva realizing that her own explicit trust in severus had led, in part, to dumbledore’s murder. i sent filius to fetch snape tonight. i don’t think he knew they were there before filius told him, i don’t think he knew they were coming. she’s trying to blame herself, but what she’s really blaming is the trust she had built up in severus, the trust she had spent years building – all of it, apparently, a lie.

that’s the thing. she’s shocked and devastated by dumbledore’s murder, is heavily grieving the loss of him, but she’s also harboring a personal sense of betrayal from severus. it isn’t just that he’s betrayed dumbledore, who vouched for him so adamantly, who had protected severus and believed in him for so many long years. it isn’t just that he’s turned his back on all decent wizardkind and slunk back, apparently, to his old ways, his old master. it isn’t just that he’s become an enemy of her cause.

he’s hurt her, personally. she does not trust easily, she does not forgive easily, but she gave him both, and he spat in the face of it. not only does she feel betrayed, feel blindsided, she feels stupid. stupid, for sitting next to him at the staff table for years, for teasing him about quidditch, for relying on him in a pinch, stupid for calling for him and for being grateful when he arrived. 

she had been fooled. and minerva hates playing the fool.

so yeah. it’s fair to say that, in the midst of her grief for dumbledore, is a terrible, bitter anger with severus. the trust is broken. the friendship is broken. those long years of camaraderie are soured. and it’s worse, now, the hatred she feels for him, worse than it ever was fifteen years ago, because this time it’s so much more personal. to have thought they were friends, and to have been so utterly wrong, is something she cannot forgive.

and then. yeah. she’s acting headmistress after dumbledore’s death. she should have been appointed headmistress. as horrible a situation it is, to have to succeed him because of his murder, she prepared herself for it, for the burden of it. she expected it. it was the natural order of things: as deputy headmistress, she was in the direct line to receive dumbledore’s position, and to do her best to use it to protect her students.

and then severus snape returns, with death eater cronies and the full backing of the ministry, and is announced headmaster. the position that should have been hers. the position that was only open because he had murdered its last occupant. he should have returned to hogwarts in chains; instead he could stroll through the door and own the place. yes, i think it’s fair to say that she didn’t take it well.

although i should probably be clear that – she didn’t protest, not forcefully. when a staff meeting was called with the ministry and board of governors to announce the staff changes at hogwarts, minerva did not stand and demand her position. she did not even complain about being stripped of her title of deputy headmistress. no, because as soon as she saw severus snape appear in the same room as ministry officials, with no moves made to arrest him, she understood the situation. she understood that there was no point, now, in protest. she understood that the ministry was wholly under the dark lord’s power, and that to make more than a token fuss was to risk being removed from hogwarts herself.

and just as in umbridge’s time as headmistress, minerva knew that she could not allow that to happen. now, more than ever, her students needed her, needed someone to stand between them and the death eaters running their school. her resolve there was set, though she felt a deep sadness at the thought that, even at the height of the dark lord’s power during the first war, hogwarts had never been breached. and now a death eater is headmaster, and all she can do is grit her teeth and accept it.

but you can be sure that she treated severus (and the carrows) with as much disdain as she was capable of. gone was any trace of warmth of friendship or respect towards severus. she obeyed his orders and interacted with the politeness due to his station – but only just, and always with an iciness, a haughty, contemptuous dignity that surpassed even her treatment of him when they had first become colleagues. this was the best weapon left to her: to treat severus as she treated her deepest enemies, as she had once treated umbridge – except that with umbridge, she could at least take satisfaction in intimidating umbridge, in testing her, in humiliating her where possible. with severus, there was no satisfaction, there were no games of power played. they were far beyond that. they understood each other too well for that. there was only the cold hatred, the betrayal, and the singular understanding that minerva would do everything in her power to protect her students from him.

(and, may i add, i do believe that precisely this reaction from minerva was pretty much essential to severus maintaining his cover at hogwarts. i’ll draw one last quote from the meta i linked: “if there was one person who absolutely had to believe that snape’s treachery was genuine, it was minerva mcgonagall. because she was the person at hogwarts who would oppose him most openly. because righteous anger like hers can’t be faked. if minerva seemed in any way like she trusted snape, or doubted his motives, his cover would come under suspicion. she had to oppose him, and she had to do it genuinely, and she had to protect her students with everything she had. and for that, dumbledore’s death had to come as a shock and a betrayal.” and so it did.)

[cow3survivor]

Ep. 9: “Break Down Everything I’ve Built” - Jennet

JENNET

not to be rude but i hate this cast.... me winning immunity didnt even matter bc my bestie got booted tf...

(a little later)

feeling alone, im not even on a tribe anymore. im alone now not furcifer calumma or brookesia, just jennet

(after eating rice)

i know i sound dramatic asf but ffft i was so uneasy starting this game and i didnt feel comfortable or didnt feel excited to play until i started playing with ethan so i guess i relied too much on him but its like... now what?? where do i go from here? like sam, sammy, jones, and mikey voted to keep him so its like... here i am with low numbers again

(after taking a dip in the ocean)

immunity doesnt feel so good when ur number one ally gets sent home...

(after polishing the immunity necklace)

realizing that tonight ive been on the wrong side of both of votes so now im... reevaluating my position in this game. i have to break down everything ive built and start over and see who i can really trust right now

JONES

https://youtu.be/GY0DufoCyLE (after live night)

LOVELIS

So today's been way more eventful! I've had a great conversation with Jennet finally & got caught up on all the live night stuff, thought it was just a live competition that I wasn't able to attend but then I woke up to Ethan being gone LMAO but oh well! I've been targeted the past two rounds but I'm still here so I've just gotta work my options as best I can, and right now I do wanna with with Jessica the most. Apparently Shane put in a lot of work to keep me during live night & I'm thankful but earlier when I tried to talk to him he wouldn't divert from that point & it was a little awkward.. like idk what you want me to do about that... so today's mostly been catching up with the people who I haven't heard much from like Jake, Lindsay etc and seeing where their heads are at, I need to be more involved in something big if I'm gonna be seen as a potential winner should I make it to the end so I'm definitely not shy of jumping ship from Sharon and tryna make something better for myself with the people that voted for me hehe.. 😳😈

JENNET

looking at the memory wall and im feeling very: vulnerable

LINDSAY

12/19 - https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Q_KxHilwOebD8G3D8JAZsOMKdgsxFp-b/view?usp=sharing

JESSICA

I know in my last confessional I said I was close with Ethan. After I wrote that, I realized that he was a lot closer with other people than he was with me. Lindsay accidentally added him to an alliance chat and I expected him to freak out in my DMs (or at the very least ask me about it!) since we're supposed to be such good allies. But he didn't say anything! Shane said that he did get an Ethan freakout so I was like hmm... noted. Ethan likes Shane more than me so I am okay to vote him out a lot earlier than I was planning. Ethan also left out a LOT of information about the idols when we talked about them so I instantly knew at merge that he was hiding things from me. When we did that round robin conversation thing, I got Shane early on (I think he was the third person I talked to?) and he pitched voting Ethan which made a lot of sense to me. Plus I was a little worried Ethan could have had the Furcifer idol since he found that Brookesia one so fast. I figured if we were going to make a big move, that was the time to do it because if anyone was suspicious I could just pretend the whirlwind nature of the round was the reason they didn't know what happened. Speaking of idols!!! I'm 95% sure that Furcifer idol is in Sam's pocket. Shane had a vote extort power which he could play on anyone; it would force them to either reveal their entire voting history to this mysterious person OR they would have to give up their vote and sit out of immunity. I guess the vote part isn't public but the immunity part was and for some reason, Sam chose to not reveal his voting history. To Shane and Daisy, who don't know how the idols worked, this is a weird choice. But to me there's only one reason someone doesn't want their voting history revealed and it's because they didn't vote at a tribal which means they have an idol. Shane originally wanted to play the power on Mikey which I strongly did not want because 1) I already know how Mikey has voted and 2) I was pretty sure Mikey didn't have an idol so it's unlikely there was a tribal he didn't vote in and 3) If Mikey asked me about it, I didn't want to lie but I also didn't want to expose Shane. The question is.... does Sam's idol still work? If I had found the idol when I knew there was an easy boot on my team (he has to have found it before Pennino left), then I would have gambled as long as I could have to get the idol to work. My guess is Sam's idol goes until... f7? Maybe f6 or f5. Pennino probably left 3-1, not 4-1, but Sam's missing vote didn't matter because it was unanimous and wasn't read. For this round, right now everyone is probably voting Lovelis. It's the easy vote because he isn't here but personally I don't want to do that. Everyone says Lovelis is inactive but he isn't inactive to me and as far as I know, he is not going to flip on me and thinks I've been looking out for him. Which I have been! Also Lovelis cannot have an idol unless he somehow got the merge one. So to me it's like.... why not take out someone like Sam who (probably) has an idol? Or at least get him paranoid enough so he plays it. He seems like the kind of player who could easily stab me in the back so I'd like to get him before he gets me. Right now my tightest alliance is with Shane/Daisy, though I definitely talk about the game with Shane the most. However I also have good relationships with Lovelis, Sammy, and Mikey. I think Jennet and I are getting along well because as far as I know, I was the first one who told them Ethan's name was going around last time when everyone else seemed too afraid to tell them. They were not into that plan at all but I'm glad that I was honest with them because I don't want that to be a closed relationship at all! They also don’t seem to have a tonne of connections so they’re someone I'd like to keep close. And then Jones/Lindsay/Jake are people who I'm still getting to know but I do trust them.... a bit. I don't see that alliance of 6 lasting long term however I don't mind trying to stick with it to get Sam out before it disintegrates. I also think Shane is coming across as a threat which is great to me. I hope people don't think we're close because I really want to keep that relationship hidden. My entire game is about having everyone think they're my #1 (or at least my #2 or #3) so that they are less likely to leak things I tell them, less likely to vote for me, and more likely to look out for me. Information is power so I try to be in a position where I'll get as much of it as I can. So far it is working! I think. This is truly an essay

(a little later)

Oh also I never get episode titles in games so here are some: "Any way you slice it, it's Survivor madness!" "What a night, what a vote" "Please don't invite me to your messy party" "Social game is on 0!" "Survivor brings out the worst in you" "I'm a chameleon" Some of those are things other people said in other games but... oh well!

JENNET

apparently lovelis is rallying the troops to get them to vote for me bc i voted him out over madison... babe we NEVER spoke, and i spoke to madison ALOT why would i not vote u ? tf... its getting weird

JESSICA

LMAO IGNORE THAT LAST CONFESSIONAL That is not how the advantage works at ALL I now totally understand why Sam rejected it That’s so funny that we really read it that wrong.............. I love reading and comprehending the words that I read Still don’t know where that last idol is but this is so funny.

JENNET

so right now the only people i can trust are sammy, sam, jones, and mikey. i want to trust jake but hes in an alliance with jones, lindsay, daisy, shane, and jessica that he didnt tell me about. jones is playing double agent right now and the only reason i dont find that sketch is bc she told us info that she didnt need to. i will say me and jake had a convo about how we dont trust how shady lindsay has been and we wont target her until most of the og brookesia members are gone. im very scared right now but also very angry

(a little later)

had plans for this vote but sam got his vote taken away. im waiting to see what pops off at tribal/ the few hours before tribal before i can try to get the little band of misfits to settle on who to target first. so far its daisy and shane, i’ll try to sneak lindsay in but honestly i want daisy gone first bc shes hosted me and seen how i play and thats too much of an advantage. she’s dangerous to me and my game

JAKE

https://youtu.be/nZPMXTthz9Q yes I'm becoming paranoid and what?? say it to her face

JENNET

my dream boot order after this round (if lovelis is who goes): daisy shane jessica lindsay and then everything else can fold around itself but ideally jake is next to go

LINDSAY

videos r still uploading but here's my quick tea for this episode: feels way too easy to vote lovelis, keep expecting things to blwo up bc lovelis is throwing jennet's name out there. game way too quiet. shit aint right but i aint know whats wrong. i may be paranoid

JENNET

:ETHAN: ❤️ :JENNET: hours

SAMMY

so I feel like so much happened in this round? let's recap the live night and dive into our thoughts and feelings about where we are right now. So starting off after Madison is voted out, the plan throughout the day was to just vote out whoever stayed out of Madison/Lovelis, right? Okay so I go into this live event thinking that's the plan...not sweating...just chilling right? right okay so I get to talking to people and then I get in a chat with daisy who is my 3rd phone call? Then I hear of this plan to get rid of Ethan?? In my head I was like...blinks...okay so why are we doing this like what is the point y'all are being too complicated. So fast forward Ethan goes home. Then Jones lets me know there was a separate group made before tribal of Jake/Shane/Jones/Jess/Lindsay. Apparently all the people who voted Ethan? This actually pisses me off not gonna lie because I opened the door for a conversation hinting that I knew of a group to daisy/jess/Jake and none of them spilled to me. So I caught them in a lie and it lets me know that they are serious about that group of people and that alliance means something. I thought I was close to daisy and I thought she considered me her #1 ally but the info I have been getting really makes me trust her less. She was working on the idol/bridge with like so many other players which makes sense to how she was able to find so many powers. I feel used. She is close to Shane and it is obvious. I also 100% feel as if the Ethan plan was made before tribal or at least mentioned as an idea. I don't like the vibes I am getting from them and something has to change soon or I am gonna be finding myself in a rough patch. I told Jones about Daisy's powers to let Jones know that Daisy pretty much lied to Daisy about the street car ladies (sorry daisy I still love u but in the moment I felt used because I know ur bridge group is on like the late 30s and you didn't tell me). Daisy is playing the middle and I need to separate myself from her or at least break her and Shane up. She is using Shane as a shield. Also I was added to the justice league alliance and its so cute (Jones, Jennet, Mikey, Me, Sam) I love this group but I will say Sam is my weakest connection and I don't really have much trust in him? Hoping that will change in these upcoming rounds tho. Also, I told Jones about my vote block that lasts until final 5 which we could use to our advantage later in the game. I will be holding onto that as long as possible. The last major update other than me feeling somewhat left out of this "group" would be that Jess asked if I would be down to make a group after the vote of her/Jake/me/mikey which I would actually very much enjoy. Okay that is my longest confessional yet. I hope you enjoy. As of right now my top two allies are Jones/Mikey....Lowest on my trust rankings are Shane and Lindsay.

JENNET

lovelis dming me saying we should get out mikey pfftttt

DAISY

https://youtu.be/mz2Fg_Kvyqo

SAM

https://youtu.be/J81hUWIy6dg

SHANE

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1-dymdy5vjtHdwsY3JSTnovwaSRLvuzQt

JESSICA

me: lovelis will be a jury vote for me! me: nvm!!!! Not sure why being rude to people and attacking them is your strategy on the way out... but you do you!

LOVELIS

I think I mentioned chaos in my previous confessional and I think I just did that so you know what.. I'm content LMAO. I pulled out pretty much all the cards I had left to play this round and if it wasn't enough despite being carried the past two tribals.. then so be it. This has been such a fun past couple days and it's fun to just let loose and see what happens!

[words-writ-in-starlight]

reading part 1 and like, it feels silly to go ‘dang nice first line’ when you clearly worked hard on the first line, you know full well it’s nice, but still. nice first line. drops you right in the world, has that ring of myth but also of urgency, explains right away what the problem is, and also now I’m overanalyzing but it does start things right off by making sure you don’t trust Crispin, don’t trust what he appears to be no matter what. it puts you on edge, on guard, making sure you assume

he’ll lie to you (well, to Brenneth). And like. I know what the original story is, it’s not like I needed the reminder, but the sharp sense of unbalance and distrust that you get right at the start of the story is quite good. ++ Funny - I realize suddenly that I don’t actually know what Crispin looks like. I know you’ve described him somewhere, but it didn’t stick, or maybe you just didn’t mention the hair. I don’t remember it being red-gold.

(the hades and persephone au)

Fun fact, I scrapped THREE, count them, THREE intro scenes before I settled on this one, so no, you are no over-analyzing.  Some fragments of the other intro scenes wound up elsewhere in the story, but mostly?  I just chucked them wholesale and started from scratch.  So, like, yeah, I’m really glad that one works out because I was rapidly running out of good places in the story to pick up the action.  Also, this is both a nod to the actual intro to the novel and wildly at odds, because on the one hand, it does open with a mysterious individual who has, presumably, broken into Brenneth’s home, but it’s also all trust all the time with Crispin from the very first line of the novel, so.

Yoo the season thing is tight, that is the good stuff, and by saying it’s jarring you make it into a bad, unnatural thing, not a thing of wonder as it would be in most stories. Nice. ++ “mundane lightning, if such a thing even existed” Interesting. Not even sure why exactly, just.. interesting. ++ I like that he stabs her xD ++ “her best emotionless expression” NICE I like how this shows, without explaining why, not only that she’s upset somehow, but that it’s a big deal (her BEST such

expression, this is a big effort she’s making). It suggests a personal connection, which, ok, I know she has one bc I know Alleirat, but this is fanfic, that’s allowed. Anyway it’s a very economical way of showing it, so nice job. ++ “the snarl evaporated into a smile” Huh. He trusts her, in a way, even if only in that he thinks he knows her well enough to know what to expect. ++ "If you wanted to talk” I wonder if he really does think, even for a moment, that this is just personal.

Crispin…like, to be completely honest, he’s not completely stable at this moment–I was going to say “not completely himself” but that wouldn’t be accurate–and he wants to force Brenneth into saying out loud what’s upsetting her.  Largely because it will upset her to say it out loud.  It’s a cruel jab, to do it in a way that reminds her that they’re friends, but he’s also trying to drive her into lashing out and, quite frankly, attempting his execution then and there, so he goes for cruelty over efficiency.

"gentle note of menace” Interesting. What menace does he threaten? What can he threaten, here? Or is it just generalized menace? Maybe he’s just a menacing guy. ++ "glittered like a jewel in a setting” An unusual metaphor for a person. I like how it makes him hard and sharp, and fey in how he glitters, and trapped, like jewels are by their settings. ++ Brenneth is very polite. I think I like that about her. I think she does it because she’s solid, steady. She knows who she wants to be, and she’s

not about to be any less than that, even in the little things. 

Brenneth is one of those people where a short temper that tends to flare hot and spectacular but largely harmless, which I think is a satisfying contrast with Crispin, who’s slow to lose his temper and coldly precise but absolutely lethal when he does.  And above anything else…she’s sad, I think.  Brenneth doesn’t like admitting it, in any universe, but she’s sad about a lot of things, a lot of the time, and that makes her a little more likely to offer civility to someone trying to hurt her.  Not invulnerable to snapping and getting violent, but it buys 

++ @the shards in his eyes: holy shit that’s good imagery. it’s a common enough concept but you’ve phrased it so poetically that it gains new strength ++ god that conversation’s intense. I like that she was mortal before – grounded in the world, in a life, in mundane mortality. And he emerged from a storm, no connections to anything, not even kin, not even parentage. His first memories a furious and beautiful destruction, chaos given

form. And he’s the one who’s Spring, and she who’s Death. ++ "His hands were burned badly across the palms” Good way to keep her fire in the story, even with her being Death and not anything typically considered fiery. Interesting that his hands are burnt where he touched her, but no part of him is burnt from her touching him, not even his chiton. ++ Shiko is bound to a task Brenneth set her, one that benefits Brenneth’s kingdom, and can only leave at her express will, yet Brenneth doesn’t think

of her as a servant, is even uneasy at the thought. I wonder how she does think of Shiko. It doesn’t seem to bother her that Shiko calls her ‘my lord’. (Incidentally I like the Lord thing. It’s a little weird at first but it works. Not sure how to really interpret it yet, if at all - guess I’ll know later in the story - but I like it.) 

First of all, I use and abuse a lot of misapplied titles in this, and I would say “lord” is probably the most common one, for a number of reasons.  The primary one is probably that Brenneth was introduced into the pantheon as a mortal, which already put her at a disadvantage, so her use of “lord” is making a very clear and specific point about her rank.  There’s that quote re: the Tortall about Alanna making a point with “sir” and Kel making a different point with “lady,” and Brenneth is making the former, whereas Krei eventually makes the latter.

Second of all, Brenneth’s whole stance on Shiko is very conflicted.  On the one hand, she saved Shiko from an eternity of torment, absolutely and without question, but she did it by basically chaining Shiko to the ferry unless she’s specifically sent on an errand.  Shiko has known her longer thank anyone and more completely than anyone with the possible exception of Crispin, so Brenneth thinks of them as equals, but Shiko is acutely aware that her existence as someone not being tortured is entirely dependent on Brenneth’s good will, and Brenneth is aware of that as well.  And, of course, Brenneth killed Shiko, and it was Shiko’s actions that resulted in Brenneth’s appointment as the god of death.  There’s a lot of baggage there.

++ ‘“Well,” Shiko said, and abandoned the sentence.’ And my, what that says about how Brenneth is treated, and what Shiko thinks of it, and what Brenneth thinks

of it. I may be reading too much into it, but after what Crispin said, I don’t think I am. ++ She doesn’t mind thinking of Rada as a servant. Is it the choice? It sounds like though she could compel any shade to serve her (like one from Tartarus), she doesn’t, and they know they have a choice. But Shiko is bound to obey her, so Brenneth is uneasy about it? 

Yeah, basically.  Shiko has to serve Brenneth or her shade will be banished to the Fields of Punishment, whereas allowing shades to serve in her palace gives them the chance to wait for their family.  It’s a kindness she’s offering them, at its core level, whereas Brenneth sees Shiko’s task as the lesser of two fairly serious evils, even though it doesn’t bother Shiko overmuch, and she has a hard time living with having done that to someone who she feels was used and misled, rather than causing problems out of malicious intent.

++ “seeking something to consume” How odd that this is how it manifests. "her godhood was screaming for it” Ok now that’s intriguing. Does

she often get the urge to kill people? Is it only people who ‘should’ be dead? By what measure of ‘should’? ++ I wonder if she only breathes out of habit, from when she was mortal. I wonder if all gods breathe, or if they only bother occasionally. I wonder if Crispin’s heart has ever beat. 

Gods’ hearts don’t beat, as far as I’m concerned.  If they even have hearts, I guess, I’d be hard pressed to make that call on the spot.  Brenneth, basically, kept her mortal body and froze it at the moment of her apotheosis, so she doesn’t need a heartbeat or breathing, but she does them out of habit and as a sort of self-soothing pattern.  Oh, and I’d say that speaking with a throat does require breathing regardless of whether the oxygen is needed, on a purely mechanical level, so for those purposes all gods breathe when they’re speaking aloud.

Also, I’d say that it’s rare for Brenneth and her “god-self”, as it were, to be in direct conflict, but gods kill people for disrespect.  Brenneth does not.  This is her primary conflict with the part of her that operates as a deity first and a “self” second.

++ I think it means Rada’s brave, that he didn’t even back away when his form started to fall apart from her leaking rage. Or that he trusts her, or both. I like him. Witnesses, she asks for. What for?

What did they witness? Does she want to hold a trial? Or does she mean his victims? She can have her pick of those, I think. So many of them work in her palace, and many more are doubtless crowding her kingdom. She could probably just walk out and shout, “who wants to talk shit about the god of spring,” and she’d get like fifty volunteers in 2 seconds flat.

ok I think I’m gonna sleep. also, amusingly, I have now sent you enough asks that I have to prove I’m not a robot to send any more.

Rada is my BEST BOY and I LOVE HIM.  He worries SO MUCH about his boss.  In canon, he was Brenneth’s third in command when she was hunting Crispin, Torei’s most trusted subordinate, and he was EXACTLY like this, eternally fretting over people’s wellbeing and how seriously Torei was injured and whether or not Brenneth had remembered to eat.  He’s a GOOD BOY.  DOING HIS BEST.  His family is from the south of Alleirat in canon, which means their coloring is a lot like Brenneth’s and she reminds him of one of his younger sisters, so he’s particularly protective of her.

And yeah, everyone’s very eager to talk shit about Crispin.  Rada has exactly NO trouble finding volunteers.  He just wanders into Asphodel and goes “hey who wants to complain to the Lord of the Underworld about that fucker” and has a line OUT THE DOOR.

[survivormarmoreal]

Episode #14: "i literally hate attention (i say as i broke out into song unprompted)” - Bryce

I can't believe that I am here. I made it to the Final 4. It is very crazy. I thought that I was toast in the Final 6. So to be here now is very exciting and shocking. The final 3 is going to depend on who wins immunity. I am really hoping that I could win this immunity to secure my spot in the final 3. If not then I hope that Matt doesn't win it. He needs to be an option just in case. I'm very nervous. I just finished my rites of passage. and its crazy that its almost final tribal.

so im getting 4th. FJKASDHFKJh this comp is so hard and like im literally not gonna be able to do endurance so i need to do well on the other stuff but i just dont see that happening... like this puzzle first try was 70 minutes FJKASDHFKAJS. AND I KNOW COUNTING WILL MESS ME UP BC IM NERVOUS WRECK i didnt even mean to caps that but its tea. like flash game i think when i played this once before i wasnt bad but maybe i was who knows. im so emo like no one is talking to me anymore FKJASHDFKJ like i guess bc its just 1 vote left they dont wanna pretend they wont cut me FJAKSDFH like my game not even that good im gonna get dragged by sharky/nathan/keaton/nicole/ everyone but brian... maybe even brian who knows NNNN. my nnn. is so iconic.. maynor who?. idk like ok so if i win immunity (which i wont) idek what to do like i feel like voting matt is the best option maybe. bc i WONT be voting maynor bc i love him (not that i dont love anna and matt) but i just feel like we've had the best relationship of the f4 and im confident that the jury will like my game more than his (maybe they wont tho... i say confident but i mean 2% (not skim) sure they will) but ok so annabelle prob is hated by jury at least from brian and maybe even sharky? but like she didnt play bad she literally made most iconic move at f6 and i respect that but idk if jurors do like ppl keep saying shes a goat  so maybe she has no chance. and then theres matt where like ppl cant be mad he voted them when everyone and their mom in this game has voted him ASDKJFHASDKJ. like so hes prob liked by jury but i just dont know if hes done anything to deserve to win. he found 2 idols successfully played 1 but that was more on anna/nicks weird sense of leaking when it didnt really benefit them.  but like ok he was least threatening member of trio who got to the end so underdog edit is there even tho he literally wasnt underdog tbh u know who was an underdog... ME. i had NO ONE but nathan for a lil.. then dennis... then he got ROBBED. so then i had brian... but he got ROBBED. and now i have maynor like ive literally flipped and flopped to better my game and idk like i am physically able to meaningfully say ive done anything good ever in life or orgs but like i didnt do too bad i think! KJFAHSDKJF... idk maybe im getting 0 votes 3rd place no matter what and if thats the case im still so happy bc ive had a lot of fun in this game and met some true friends (and keaton) but like im getting 4th anyway so doesnt matter! ugh that sounds like a final goodbye confession but i know me and im gonna confess like 10 more times before this round is over so if i do get 4th/3rd just know that this was my true end...

So like.... I do not think i'm winning immunity. like at all. which makes me pretty nervous ngl. I really want to be there at the finale cause i think I have a good shot. If Bryce loses, i'm fairly sure i'm good to get to FTC but otherwise im scared. Making FTC would be really good for me cause I think i can out argue Maynor and Annabelle fairly well, but otherwise with bryce there idk. So like, BRYCE CAN'T WIN IMMUNITY. Also this FIC is disgusting like no thanks. I've already fucked up the 2 live ones so uh ya am annoyed :(. woo final juror here i come!

Bryce won immunity. Im glad. I wouldnt want to be in the position to vote Bryce. I had to abstained from the counting part cuz it triggered my anxiety. I tried tho but i couldnt. This vote is going to be said. Matt is going to go 4th. And i feel really bad. We got to know each other more during every tribal. This really sucks. I just dont want to give him false hope where there isnt any. Im going to help tomorrow.

I am so getting final juror. fuck. i knew it would happen if bryce won immunity and it fucking is. I am so sad about this. I have worked so hard all game to get here and its just being tossed away like that. I am SO sad. I have fucked up my sleep schedule for this game and now its getting me final juror. ugh. i just wanted to get to the end and like argue my case. but now? not happening :( i hate this

I WON I REALLY WON IMMUNITY ASKDJFHASKDJF I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA LOSE WHEN I GOT 12 POSTS ASJFKHKASJFDHASDKJF THATS SO NNNNN IM SO HAPPY BUT SO SAD BC NOW I TRIED TO TELL MATT IM VOTING HIM BC I WANT TO BE HONEST BUT HE SAYS HES TALKING TO A BRICK WALL LIKE???? SORRY FOR NOT WANTING TO GIVE U FALSE HOPE AJDSFHDKAJ its honestly so rude like ive been in that position before so i know what its like when ur pleading ur case and the person doesnt seem to care and im NOT doing that. but obvioulsy i didnt just make up a plan on what to do at f4 so obviously i have thoughts and plans and im not just gonna switch it up bc u plea to me now. idk KJASHDFKJ also im so scared im gonna lose now NNN hes saying anna played so well and tbh she kind of did maybe i lose no matter what...

So like i am leaving but its ok! why? cause i will preserve my legacy by dropping a whole ass fajita recipe here so that I can feel like i have made an IMPACT on the season. Even though like im still sad its me, im going out with a bang baby! I don't use this recipe personally ( I am a broke student) but its v.good!

Ingredients: 2 large chicken breasts, finely sliced 1 red onion, finely sliced (ready to make you cry) 1 red pepper, sliced 1 red chilli, finely sliced (optional) For the marinade 1 heaped tbsp smoked paprika 1 tbsp ground coriander pinch of ground cumin 2 medium garlic cloves, crushed 4 tbsp olive oil 1 lime juiced 4-5 drops Tabasco

Method: Heat oven to 200C/180C fan/gas 6 and wrap 6 medium tortillas in foil.

Mix 1 heaped tbsp smoked paprika, 1 tbsp ground coriander, a pinch of ground cumin, 2 crushed garlic cloves, 4 tbsp olive oil, the juice of 1 lime and 4-5 drops Tabasco together in a bowl with a big pinch each of salt and pepper.

Stir 2 finely sliced chicken breasts, 1 finely sliced red onion, 1 sliced red pepper and 1 finely sliced red chilli, if using, into the marinade.


Heat a griddle pan until smoking hot and add the chicken and marinade to the pan.

Keep everything moving over a high heat for about 5 mins using tongs until you get a nice charred effect. If your griddle pan is small you may need to do this in two batches.

To check the chicken is cooked, find the thickest part and tear in half – if any part is still raw cook until done.

Put the tortillas in the oven to heat up and serve with the cooked chicken, a bag of mixed salad and one 230g tub of fresh salsa.

hope the random person reading this uses it otherwise gj future me reading this you've officially gone insane! yeet ig?

This is going to be a sad day. I really like Matt and dont want to vote him out but its the best option from the people available. It really sucks. I feel his pain and ahh.

I’m literally going to cry. I want to help Matt. I wish we could all be final 3 but we can’t. I’m dying emotionally. Final 4 always has so much pressure cuz theres only 4 people left. I hope Matt doesn’t hate me. I hope he understands thisnis a game move because he techinically was the underdog in the beginning then was on top then back to underdog. I just hope he doesnt take it personal that I don’t think tie-ing it for him would be good for my game.

OMG IDK WHATS GONNA HAPPEN MATT GO HOME PLS BUT I FEEL LIKE ANNA IS VOTING MAYNOR IM GONNA BE SO SAD AHHHH DJSKFHSDKJF

Matt is voted out 3-1. He becomes the final juror.

ok so i had the worst day of my life today and didnt plan my speech at all so thats where im at NNN time to fake smile and hope the jurors like my ad libbed speech ASFKUHDFKJ ftc starts in 4 minutes.

well.. that was interesting adsjflhasdkfj. Like i always have 0 confidence in myself so i think im gonna lose and i really do respect the game that anna and maynor played. im just sad that i dont think i articulated myself well bc like im so bad with words anajsfhakj and ppl were saying conflicting things and its just not in me to like chime in with my pov to possible sway it in my favor bc i literally hate attention (i say as i broke out into song unprompted) but yaaa like i truly think that maybe i kind of did play super well and deserve to win but either way ill be happy bc i made *some* genuine friendships and also like had so much fun voting ppl out KFADHSKJASHK. i wish i like wrote what all my confessionals were so i could reference sth i said on day 1 but it was prob like i hate my tribe they ignore me so maybe ill just say that again FKJADSHFKJ. we love coming full circle... im so hungry i didnt eat so i will now stop typing to get dinner maybe i will write another confessional. omg wait gotta have some line thats iconic in case theres an episode title... think... love talking to myself FAKSDHFKj im so funny when i was like "i realized hey i respond to myself ill take me to the end" its such a mood KFJASDHFKJ ok but hm... ok. maybe im a snake who doesnt actually care about people and use them to my advantage to get my way but at least im not jayden. OMG jk thats so mean even tho he deserves it ALSO i was gonna like comment on keaton being like "saying the n word doesnt make u racist" but then he was kind of nice to me so i didnt.. love being as fake woke as me... not being confrontational to get a jury vote... so gross NNNN wooh idk how to end this but watch waves music video normani literally snapped so hard is being as slept on as me. omg wait... maybe im a pillow bc i sure am being slept on. iconic line.... i love the hosts so much ignore literally every cringe thing i wrote in this confessional pls FKJADSHKFJ

IM VERY DRUNK AND I DNT KNOW IF I HAD TO. BUT EITHER BRYCE OR ANNA WILL WIN CUZ IM A MES AND DONT DESERVE TO CUZ THEY WERE BOTH AMAZING FOR LETTING ME GET TO FTC. I WANNA THANK ANNA THE HOST FOR BEING AMAZING AND GREAT. I LIKED THE ALICE THEM CUZ HEART CUZ ICANT  EMOHJI, ,LOVED THIS SEASON AND UR ALL AMAZING HOSTS.

Im happy I made it to the final 3. And even though FTC was bad; I enjoyed it. I know I’m probably getting 3rd which is fine. I have so much respect to Annabelle and Bryce and everyone in the jury. I’m more excited to be able to talk to all of them again. Let’s see who is our winner will it be Bryce or Annabelle!? The hosts you guys were amazing and i had a great time this season. Im glad Jones pushed and convinced me to apply. Thank you for giving me a spot in this season. And Jones you da best. 💖💛💙

confession time. everytime i write one of these i put the day as who are u and my name as what day is it.. my mind always having to go change it. but um didnt think i would be writing another one of these FJKSADF but i have no self control and winner reveal is in 4 and a half hours and im literally sick FAKJDSk i feel so anxious and nervous like even if i lose im gonna be happy but i just really want to win also im still trying to process ppl not liking me or my gameplay and saying i played with their emotions FJKASDHFJ i had a blast. anyways this is the anthem of the day apparently https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UhzN7SfnNeY

WHATS GOING ON?? IM TIRED IS WHATS GOING ON IM SO ANXIOUS! im sooo anxious i want to win. pls...

Bryce wins Celestial Marmoreal in a 4-3-0 vote!

[circleofcatastrophe]

Episode 1- Big Brother Week

Title: I’m probably gonna shit myself so that’s how day 1 is going

Max

Day 1: everyone is saying hi and I have a big ass paper to right that I haven't started that's due tomorrow and I drank a lot of coffee and I don't drink coffee so I'm probably gonna shit myself so that's how day 1 is going

Julia

Should’ve hexed Tim he a cancer . Cancers are tricksters

Vi

I think I understand the challenge now that I was removed. Thanks Tim. ALL MY IOS PEEPS ARE GREAT. Cept I'm pretty sure they're gonna stab me early bc they dislike me :^). That's okay bc I'm only here for the hosts <3 jkjk. I love them. The tribe is fantastic even tho I have no idea who most of these people are. I hope some of the challenge will be familiar or else rip me.

Tim

The cast seems so great and iconic. I really like Sammy and Jacob but I'm sure everyone else already does.

Jacob

first of all i want to die. also sammy won hoh nice idk him all that well so im a little bit nervous. i dont really know whats gonna happen but its whatever wigg!! my strategy is to have an emotional breakdown about my day in public chat so everyone feels bad for me and keeps me safe this round :~)

Tim

Sammy won and woo! I knew he was gonna win but lets see who he snakes with his nominations.

Vi

Sammy who? I didnt realize who was in the tribe. Jkjk. I could carefully less. It’s been a day and so I haven’t gotten close to many people. Hopefully when I finish my irl stuff I can finally focus but if I get voted out (which I hope not) that’ll be fine too. Can’t wait to see how tribal or whatever that is about to happen turns out like

JG

Ugghhh so close to winning HoH oh well, I gave it to Sammy cause we talked alot and it would feel wrong to not give it to him plus I wanted to secure my spot this week and he guaranteed I would not go up, let's hope. Not many other people have talked to me which, is a little unsettling but maybe I am too paranoid.

Chrissa

I am glad sammy won as he promised me safety. not much else has happened but I will update when there is.

Christian

Okay first DR of the season. Nicole's a bitch. I don't think we will ever get along, and neither of us has made the effort to add each other on Skype. Now that we got that out of the way, let's move to things that are actually relevant. I love all the new faces in this cast. I've never seen any of these people before, except Regan and Max. I think I hosted Louise in BB Unititled? Unless there's another Louise in the community, that I don't know of. I've been talking to people one on one, and most of those conversations have been genuine. Yesterday evening I found out Jacob is from WV and we live like 30 minutes away from each other. So that was an instant connection, and we ended up forming an alliance called "West Virginia Legends". Let's hope that actually lasts. I have some faith that it will. When the house call happened I was like "yes let me get on that call". 1. I had the thought of Sammy and his nominations 2. I knew if I got on the call it would give me a chance to talk to people and try to form a bond 3. If I would have won HOH this week I wouldn't have needed to get on lol. Hopefully Sammy keeps his word and doesn't nominate anyone that was on call. When Sammy asked who we wanted nominated I said "well Nicole" but I didn't push for her to be on the block, because that's dumb and from my past experiences in games you never know when someone could already be working together early or late in the game. I just said "do whatever you feel comfortable with".

Arika

dang toot I was nominated

Louise

!!! im not nominated!!! we r living hunny!!! sammy treated ur girl good but aj is nommed fuck!!!!! i love him more than i love my own self he is my dad/son and such a precious human being!!! so im glad i don't have stress for myself but now i have stress for aj everythign is a mess! i hate regan she a ho and everyone else i like me and tim agree that the texture of bread is NASTY so we stan!

Tim

I haven't been nommed thats great! I get to sit back until a possible renom and hope im not renommed.

Tim

If I get renommed I will CRY

Tim

Woo im not nommed so im gonna vote for Louise tbh maybe. Or AJ let me check lol.

Sammy

Hey so this is my first confessional....I’ve been slacking! However I want to make good confessionals for this season so that when I look back at them I can be like “what was I doing”. Anyway, let’s start from the beginning! Okay so when I got casted I noticed a few familiar faces that i was so excited to play with. 1.) AUTUMN!! she is one of my favorite people in this community and I’ve played with her before, I don’t think I could betray her in this game so if at all possible i want to work with her. Then I see Jacob, Dom, and Regan! I’ve been wanting to play a game with these people so I’m glad it finally happened, they are super nice and just have fun personalities. I also saw Tim and Chrissa who I have played games with before, and Tim is so nice but Idk if he’s gonna leak any info of mine or not bc in Lago he leaked my alliance...RIP...but I think he’s a great person so🤷🏻‍♂️ And yeah love Chrissa!! I’m really liking JG so far and I want to work with him so woo.

Sammy

okay also, we had the hex HOH competition which is basically just luck. I was in class for the majority of it and when I got out of class I saw that there were like 6 people left and I was one of them. Then I started talking to people saying, “hey if you don’t hex me I won’t nom you:)” just so I could win the first HOH comp. I did this because I want to build up a good resume early on and i know this wouldn’t make me look like a threat bc it was a luck comp😅. So I won HOH, and decided to nominate two people who I got to know the least(also i told like so many others that i wouldn’t put them up so rip). I put up Arika and Aj and I really like them both it’s just they were the least active. Then we had POV and i fell asleep bc I’m a FLOP and i got a strike for not submitting. Arika pulled herself off(which I’m okay with bc she wasn’t really my target). Aj didn’t even submit which was sad bc their game was on the line:/ i had to renom and i chose Louise bc i have spoke only a few words with her and SHE IS SO NICE! However she was one of the few people who i didn’t promise safety. Again, she isn’t really my target. I was trying to cause the least amount of drama as possible and I think people are content with my choices. Oh and we had a “tribe/house” call but it kinda was a mess. I think everyone was slightly irritated that Regan wouldn’t let anyone else talk (no shade bc Regan is awesome) but yeah we got to know a lot about Regan and her bad driving skills...REGAN DONT RUN ME OVER IN THIS GAME. Anyways start your engines, it’s gonna be a wild ride!

Vi

So I picked uh... wait I forgot... Louise? I only picked him/her Bc it was the only name I could remember out of the two noms. Oops. Sorry. I mean it really doesn’t matter considering neither of the noms really talked. *sigh We shall see tho

Chrissa

I am so glad sammy is hoh especially with the veto i was made to play, idk who is gong but he said vote AJ and AJ hasn't attempted to talk to me so okay!

[survivorwesteros]

Episode 8: Operation: If You Fuck With Me you're Dead - Nic

steffen, darian, yall really fucked me up. i am so mad right now. to be fucked over like this i know i considered voting out steffen earlier but i felt bad and went back on it but i feel so fucking mad and lied to and its stupid.

I'm SHOOK! IT WORKED 😂😂😂😂😂😂

ok so first you know we take off on our dragons cause you know DRAGONS FROM AN AUCTION, while at the fantastic meal place, I snag a vote stealer, cause lets face it, Id rather have control of that rather than anyone else so we get back to camp and Jordan wins immunity in basically a second, so yay another Jordan winning streak, but then we have a lot of down time until the vote, and right as Im ready to go to bed, Darian and Ashley message me saying we need to talk and I’m like, wtf I do now I was basically feeling like I just had a ice cream truck fall on me from the sky turns out I wooed them over to trusting me, and they revealed that Lily wanted my head, which shocked me cause I thought we were good, but in retrospect, I did vote her out before so not a suprise but turns out she had leaked her hit list to Darian and Ashley, going from me to brian to nic, with Andrew somewhere in there and you know while I was freaking out, Ashley and Darian were like wtf we do, so then we sorta came up with a vote split plan, and lets just say it revealed a lot it was super complicated but involved me lying to Nic, which we were kinda on even terms but like, when Darian was going over the plan with him, Nic wanted me out so at that point I knew I couldn’t trust him, following such theres been doubt put in my mind that Drew is in my best intentions and in fact was going to vote me out if not for his self vote, I mean it took a hell of a lot of prying to get him to admit that Lily was targeting me so whether he really wants to play with me is a question at this point But while we were gathering votes I discovered some real interesting information 

1. Jordan isn’t to be trusted in this game with me anymore, he went around trying to get me to vote Andrew and everyone else to vote me, and Brian was already hectic and scared so instead of telling him all the info about how Jordan told me Andrew, I played off that paranoia and bonded with Brian against Lily 

2. Luke, literally my secret spy to get me tea I love him, he basically came clean with all the Jordan tea of targeting me and it just was amazing 

3. Andrew I feel is closer to me than ever because I was there with him for a hard time, and I leaked info to him about Lily targeting him, and Jordan telling me to vote him out 

Basically I feel in an ok spot, the only people I have to be iffy about at this point is Nic, Drew and Jordan, and if I can somehow go about Jordan leaving soon, that’d be great but we managed to have everything work out I got a feel for the tribe dynamics And Lily got voted out after coming for me

anyway for darian and Steffen to use my vote like that and be straight up liars is so ugly I hate men 🔊🔊🔊🔊🔊🔊🔊🔊🔊🔊🔊🔊🔊🔊🔊🔊🔊 jk my new closest ally Jordan is a man 

why does everyone think I'm dumb is it because I act dumb all the time ?? probably

OKAY SO THIS IS A RANT FOR MY CONFESSIONAL SO DARIAN THINKS HES REAL SLICK BUT I SEE RIGHT THROUGH HIM He told me lily was out for me so obviously I vote along with him, but the way he told me about it was sus I’m usually good at sniffing out a rat but there was little I could do ABOUT it and it would be dumb to make waves about it now, but I see him. There’s no way he did;t know the votes would be split like that, I think there is a group making puppets out of some of us and I need to figure out who exactly is in that group. I know its Darian and Ashley probably Pines too, makybe not. I also just realized I was accidentally interrogating Darian so I’m gonna chill for a little bit But I see him -.- also fucking LOL at Jordan trying to tell me he was the one vote for Steffen when we already know it was Lily hahaha

Well, I'm pretty sure I just shook this entire game up and I have NO IDEA what's going to happen next... I definitely need to win immunity next week or I'm probs screwed 😂 Getting lily out but I voted drew and he's not too happy about it.  He says we are good but... we aren't.. I know it... I really don't think we are good at all Maybe I'm wrong.. idk😭😭😭 I'm so confused

So that tribal was just quite interesting. I mean Darian and I completely got shit done. But now Darian is most likely going to be a target cuz I kinda made him do all my dirty work.... God I am like an awful person (cwl) Well I mean Darian is the one who went to Nic and Brain and suggested our plan, Steffen went to Andrew... I kinda just sat back and watched everything happen, so hopefully no one will completely know I had a semi huge impact on that tribal.

BYE DARIAN IS A LITTLE SHIT HUH This messy Aeolian gameplay whew

So alot has happened & I'm just gonna use the opportunity to write about it.

Soooo last tribal, I was told me, steffen, darian, brian, ashley would all be voting Drew. However, it turns out they were lying to me. 

Darian? Dead to me. Steffen? Dead to me. I have to admit being lied to and being taken advantage of hurt. But in the end it only showed me the light. I love cutting people out ! Who knew 

I love burning bridges and then using the leftover pieces to build new ones. Cause now, the plan is for me, Jordan (my closest ally), Drew (the person i voted for who i am now voting with), Brian (the person who ive barely spoken to), and Luke (icon) to all vote together and take out one of the Terrivle Trio, aka D*rian/S******/Ashley. 

Also apparently Drew has an idol!! Which is iconic. He could be lying to me but idc bc if he is.. whats new lol If this plan works out I will give every person who voted with me 100 dollars. 

If it doesn't work out I just have more excuses to be mad at the people who betrayed me. 

Also.. me being able to freely express my opinions because I don't give a fuck what happens? a concept. If I get voted out it's no big deal cause I have actual friends in Wonderland. Anyway.... bye guys I'm sure I'll have another one of these as things progress. ALSO SHOUTOUT TO JC......... thanks for that letter. You winning Panem and me winning Westeros... its a prophecy

right now im gonna go to steffen and darian and act sorry. will they buy it...... probably not. they're smarter than that! apparently.

So.. tribal is approaching. I have to admit, with everything that has been planned, I will be a bit disappointed to go home. 

Everything is working so far. We have the majority alliance and Steffen/Darian probably have no idea it's Ashley tonight. In fact, Steffen even thinks I've been rallying against Darian. 

I don't wanna get to confident. But I hope this game turns around

Who knew this was gonna be a tie vote! Who knew Brian was gonna change his vote. 

Every moment in this game is an opportunity tho. Even though I've already sent my vote in for Ashley, I'll still use this to chance to make a deal with Darian and let him campaign to me. And with this tied vote, I can still kinda make Steffen think I voted Darian. Which is what he though before tribal. Hopefully this puts me in a good position 

I'm using this to mend bonds with Steffen/Darian, while maintaining my bonds with the others. Minus Andrew idek him 

(i feel like i already sent a confessional about this oh well) 

Anyway now that I actually have something to lose.. I have to be careful of what I say 

How did I go from on the bottom basically asking to be voted out to being in this good position........ I scream

So that tribal was interesting. Darian and I are now kinda against each other and he is very certain it will be unanimous that I am leaving. Which makes me want to punch sense into him because literally anyone can lie through text.

Anyway. my strategy rn is called "Operation: If You Fuck With Me you're Dead" and if that isnt a good episode title idk what is @hosts. 

Ashley? check. 

Darian and Steffen? we'll see i have tons of abi gifs ready

me before F9 tribal:

me @ Ashley and Darian after F9 tribal: 

me @ Nic and Brian after F9 tribal: 

me shopping for a new alliance: 

me as the Ashley votes came rolling in: 

Ashley and Darian as the votes came rolling in: 

me @ Ashley when she tried to apologize: 

me @ Ashley's begging: 

me when she tried to give me her turkey leg: 

me realizing there are still five more weeks of this game: 

WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED I'm soooo in the dark it's not even funny My own best friend who just performed the best show yet with me LIED TO MY FACE 😭😭😭😭

[2016-12-03, 9:15:21 PM] Darian Goggin: I [2016-12-03, 9:15:24 PM] Darian Goggin: Am shook [2016-12-03, 9:15:29 PM] Darian Goggin: What just happened [2016-12-03, 9:18:28 PM] Jordan Pines: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ why am i the worst

Dear damn diary 

well thanks to myanmar for screwing up my sleep cycle it seems Ive been out of the voting cycle due to trying to catch up on sleep, so basically its become a Nic and Darian fight, and if I could look at myself at the beginning of the season, I’d pat myself on the back and say, Raven Symone would be proud of you CAUSE YOU CALLED IT.  So while he did save me last round, Im not saving him if Im in minority, its just stupid at this point, so Im at least going to give him the dignity of giving him a heads up, cause he deserves it at this point, but I knew Id probably not go to the end with him, guess I was right, so gotta go with the flow today cause I am too sick to put in effort here