#ivar lothbrok angst

[axelsagewrites]

Hello,

Can you write an ivar x reader where, as a child reader had a crush on ivar and followed him around. He ends up saying mean things about her to his brothers, not realizing she can hear him. He ends up realizing he has feelings for her but she ends up moving away. Years later, she returns, and she's extremely pretty. Ivars hoping to confess how he feels, but his brothers have also noticed how pretty she's become.

Ivar the Boneless*Shy

Pairing: Ivar x f!reader

Word count: 2081

Warnings: being a shy kid, ivar being bullied by his brothers, ivar being mean as a kid, jealousy, ragnarsson brothers hitting on reader, angst fluff

Masterlist here

As the daughter of a Viking warrior and earl you were expected to be tough and ferocious and rambunctious and all other Viking traits. However, at five years old you were shy, timid, and terrified of Kattegat. You were here with your father on ‘business’ and had been practically clinging to the backs of his legs since you arrived.

It was Ragnar who suggested his sons show you around. Ten-year-old Ubbe took charge of that, giving you a tour around Kattegat as you silently nodded along. Eight-year-old Hvitserk and seven-year-old Sigurd couldn’t have cared less you were there so long as you were quiet when following them all around.

Five-year-old Ivar was sceptical at first, being equally as silent as you. Eventually you ended up at the edge of the forest sat beside Ivar as you watched the older three ‘train’ sword fighting with sticks. Ivar was angrily stabbing the dirt with his stick and didn’t even notice when you wondered off. However, he looked with interest when you returned, what looked like a hundred picked flowers in your apron.

You sat back beside him, dumping the flowers on the ground as you began to fashion a flower crown. “What are you doing?” Ivar’s voice made you jump making him mumble, “Sorry,” as he shuffled to see what you were creating.

“Daisy chains,” you told him, and you sat in silence as he watched you turn the hundred little flowers into a perfectly crafted crown. The whole thing was oddly fascinating for Ivar. “How does it look?” you asked as you placed it on your head.

Ivar grinned, “I love it,” and a toothy smile appeared on your face, “what else can you do?”

Soon you began to play games in the dirt, carving tik tac toe into it with the stick he’d been using earlier. You were laughing away so oblivious you didn’t realise the older boys had gotten bored and wandered off till you heard something howl in the distance.

“Where did they go?” you asked panicked.

“They do that sometimes,” Ivar shrugged. He’d gotten used to his brothers’ antics, but he’d been so wrapped up in the game he hadn’t noticed this time, “We’ll be fine, don’t worry,” another howl, “Okay maybe worry a little,”

Unfortunately, still Ubbe had been the one to carry him here. Ivar tried to pull himself along but soon you were trying to pull him through the forest. “I hate this!” he pouted, trying to pull away.

“It’ll be easier if you’re still!” you snapped, pulling his arms harder in frustration. “Wait here,” you dropped him with a huff as you went to grab a fallen branch.

“What are you doing?”

“Use it like a walking stick,” you said, hooking your arm around his back like in a three-legged race.

“This wont work,” he huffed making you glare. Begrudgingly he tried the crutch and a small washed over his face in a few steps. “I’m walking!”

“You’re walking!” you gleefully joined in as you helped him out the Forrest as the sun began to set. More laughter followed you on the way home though you had no idea that Aslaug had already found his brothers and scolded them immensely when she realised, you’d both been left behind. The anger soon washed away as you and Ivar walked into view.

For the next few days, you and Ivar did everything together. You were essentially attached at the hip. One evening while playing inside the Lodbrok’s house due to the storm outside Aslaug called you to the other room to rebraid your now messy hair.

“Bye boys. Bye Ivar,” you grinned before running to join Aslaug, all shyness gone.

“Bye Ivar,” Hvitserk and Sigurd teased, blowing kisses at Ivar.

“Shut up,” he grumbled.

“Is she your girlfriend?”

“Are you gonna marry her?”

“Please what girl wants to marry a cripple?”

“Have you kissed her yet?” even Ubbe joined in the teasing now and any semblance of calm was soon gone.

“No!” Ivar screeched. “I don’t even like her!”

“You’re right,” Ubbe smirked, “you love her,” more fake kissing noises came from the three of them.

“Do not!” another screech came from him. He hadn’t seen Aslaug stand from the other room to come see what the fuss was all about, nor did he see you by her ankles, “She’s ugly and weird and I hate her!”

“Ivar!” Aslaug’s voice was the only one louder than Ivar’s. You however didn’t even wait before turning on your heels and running out the house into the storm. “No, wait!” Aslaug tried to stop you, but your feet were too fast.

 You came burling up to your father, burying your head in his legs sobbing. “I want to go home. I hate it here. I hate it!” and for the rest of your trip which was thankfully only another day you clung to his side again. You vowed as you rode away, you’d never return.

-

The glares Ivar was getting from his mother could cut glass. “why would she play with you after all those things you said?” she hissed after pulling him aside.

“I didn’t mean it,” he mumbled, already on the verge of tears when you refused to play with him all day before leaving, “she wasn’t supposed to hear it,”

“Then maybe you shouldn’t have said it,”

-

Ivar was convinced you’d come back. a week later, maybe a month. Possibly a year. He kept changing the goal post when you never came. He got his hopes up at one point when he saw your father but was disappointed when he realised, you’d been allowed to stay home this time. The more years that passed the more he forgot.

He was shocked when he saw you again in the first time in over a decade. He almost didn’t recognise you at first, but you could say the same about him. You weren’t some shy, meek little girl anymore. You wore an infection smile, you laughed loudly, and you were downright gorgeous. Unfortunately, he wasn’t the only one to notice.

Its all his brothers had been talking about since you arrived this morning. “I hope mother has them over for dinner tonight,” Hvirserk said as the boys practised their axe throwing, “See if she wants to catch up,” the way he wiggled his brow made Ivar want to throw his axe at him.

Especially when the other two joined in with their agreements. “Please as if you have a chance brother,” Ubbe smirked, flinging the axe and almost hitting the bullseye, “Girl like that needs a real man,”

With a growl Ivar flung his own axe into the bullseye, knocking Ubbe’s out of place in the process before dragging himself away before he sunk his next axe in someone’s eye. “Talk about someone with no chances,” he heard Sigurd laugh as he stalked away.

-

You didn’t come over for dinner that night like they’d all hoped but rather the next day they saw you in the hall as your fathers celebrated their latest decision to go raiding together. You’d came in later than most and eyes were drawn to you instantly.

“Red is defiantly her colour,” Hvitserk slurred beside him, already several ales in, “I’m going to talk to her,” he tried to stand but Ubbe put a hand on his shoulder.

He pushed him back into his seat, “Brother you’re drunk. You’ll scare her of. Allow me to welcome her,”

“Please if you don’t want to scare her, I should go,” Sigurd joined the protests.

None of them except Ivar whose eyes never left you had noticed you walking straight for them, “Hello boys. Long time no see,” you smiled, even sending a small one to Ivar which made him wonder if you’d forgotten the whole affair.

“Well, well, look who it is,” Ubbe grinned, going in for a hug that made Ivar want to rip his skin off, “You look so different,” he said as he pulled away.

“Good different,” Hvitserk jumped in, “I barely recognised you,”

“I thought you always looked beautiful but now you’re just- “Sigurd rambled as you awkwardly blushed praying for them to stop. “a woman now,”

“Thanks?” you said, glancing down at Ivar, “Ivar,” all he could do was nod in response, scared anything he said would make it worse. “Well, I need to say hello to my family. I’ll see you boys around,” oh gods how he’d fucked this up.

-

While many were still in the hall drinking there had been a bonfire lit in the village square that Ivar was now staring into blankly. He’d left the festivities a while ago though he knew he wouldn’t be missed. There were a few people sitting around the fire, most with ale in their hands or a woman on their arms being obnoxious. If his legs didn’t hurt, he’d go into the forest to get away from them all.

“Hey,” a small, timid voice came from behind him making him turn. “Can I sit?” it was like you were children again, him permanently silent and you scared to even move.

Ivar nodded before turning back to the fire as you moved to sit beside him. You sat in silence for a few moments, staring into the flames. The fire was a good excuse for why Ivar’s cheeks felt so hot, but he knew deep down it was because of you.

“How have you been- “

“I’m sorry,” the words came spluttering out his mouth before he could think, his head whipping round to face your shocked expression, “For everything I said. I didn’t mean it, but I said it and I hated myself for it,” he paused when you stayed silent, turning back to the flames, “I doubt you even remember it. It was so long ago,”

A moment passed before you spoke even quieter than before, “I remember,” the words made his heart shatter, “I used to hate you,” somehow it broke more.

“And now?”

You turned to him with a small smile, “Now I’m not five anymore,” a smile crept onto his own face, “Besides if I’m to move here ill need someone to keep me company,” you grinned, nudging his knee with your own.

“You’re moving here?”  Ivar felt his heart light up as you chuckled, nodding to confirm his glee. Then a sinking feeling hit him, “Did you tell my brothers yet?”

Ivar would be lying if he said the grimace on your face didn’t fill him with joy, “Not yet. You’re the only one of them who looked at my face the whole night,” you chuckled. He laughed but he felt his cheeks tinge pink, “They’re an interesting bunch, ill give them that. also, who’s Margaret?”

“What?” Ivar spluttered as you shrugged.

“Some girls told me to be careful after they saw me talking to Ubbe,”

He couldn’t help laughing a little, “Oh you’ve missed so much,”

“Good thing we’ve got plenty of time to catch up,” you grinned.

-

For the next week you were inseparable. Attached at the hip almost. It brought a smile to Aslaug face and a grimace to every boy your age. You’d both heard the subtle jabs about your closeness from his brothers, especially Sigurd, but somehow when you would put your hand on his clenched fist under the table, he felt his anger melt away.

You also seemed to be the only one who did not notice his legs. Right now, you were both sat by a tree on the edge of a lake as Ivar stared across the water and you worked daisies into your flower crown. “You’re improving,” he teased, seeing this one was in a much better state than your previous attempts.

“Please, id like to see you try,” you snorted, “You’re too rough to even make one chain,”

“I’m not rough with you,” he defended, and his heart melted at the small smile on your face.

“I know,” there was a breeze in the air, a slight chill that made you huddle closer, and no one else around to ruin the quiet. Ivar didn’t even protest when your head eventually made its way onto his shoulder, and you said nothing when his arm went around yours. For once everything was perfect. Especially when Ivar finally brought up the courage to say what he’d been thinking since the moment you reappeared in his life.

“I think I’m falling in love with you,”

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[lavender-romancer]

Winter

Ivar Ragnarsson x Reader CW: suicide mentions, conflict

You wanted to be his again, not owned by him but a part of him. But it had been so long since you'd felt close to Ivar that it felt out of reach as he descended into rage filled madness

”*°•.˜”*°•. ˜”*°•. ˜”*°••°*”˜.•°*”˜.•°*”˜.•°*”˜

You were drifting apart more and more with every hastily made decision fueled by anger that Ivar made. He would curse you, berate you and you could do anything because you didn't trust that he wouldn't kill you himself. You knew something was deathly wrong when you kept finding yourself high on a hill looking over a rock face, moving closer to the edge every time and not feeling afraid. It was impossible to not feel that you were lost in the dark of Ivar's tyranny. But you still craved his adoration, his love and the affirmation that he only wanted you. All of these things would never happen now, you weren't good enough for him.

You needed him running through your veins like a sickness that couldn't be cured- a toxicity that fuelled your love and in turn, your hatred for him. You didn't want to need anyone, when you were younger your mother had always taught you to never need anyone more than yourself. To stay self-reliant and not let anyone control you but, it was impossible. When you met Ivar he was the son of Ragnar, a grumpy boy with no battle experience and a soft spot for you. Now, after 6 years of marriage you couldn't decide if you needed to try harder or just throw yourself on to that cliff face.

"It feels like he's trying to erase me, fade me out of his life and forget I was ever there." You told Helga as you sat descaling some fish with her.

"Ivar is… complicated, I'm sure I had this conversation with you when you started seeing him. He's a different type of person from us. Not as emotional," she tried to smile but could tell that her words weren't necessarily comforting.

"I was so convinced that he loved me then, that he would do anything for me. But he just wants power and money and meaningless sex, I just can't believe he deceived me into this marriage." Helga suddenly gripped your hand.

"This is not your fault. As you said, you were deceived by someone who claimed to love you. The boy has some kind of power. It pulls some people in and I don't know what it is but it captured you," She paused. "I think you should tell him."

"He wouldn't even see me, I can guarantee there's a thrall rooted to his lap right now." You clenched your teeth together and tried to hold in your rage.

"You need to let it out, your rage. Go to the top of a mountain and scream, allow yourself to feel it." Helga suggested and you nodded.

"What I really want is to have him, it's pathetic but I'm so in love with him it's hard to overcome." You placed down the fish and groaned.

"It will pass, and if it doesn't, meet someone else who will be more emotionally attentive. Ivar seems like the kind of man who needs other people's feelings laid out in front of him." Helga smiled and her dark rimmed eyes made contact with you as the two of you carried on with the fish.

Ivar was drunk out of his mind, two naked thralls sitting on his lap as he'd occasionally take their breasts into his mouth. Some days he would forget you were even his wife, you hardly saw each other. He wouldn't say it was an excuse for his behavior but it was definitely a promoting factor of it. You used to smother him, cover him in a blanket of affection and make him feel like no one could hurt him. Ivar didn't remember when that stopped but he also didn't remember when he began sleeping with other women. The crossover between the two was so seamless it made him feel less remorseful, as if your absence made his actions warranted.

When Ivar saw you walk into the Great hall he felt less than he thought he would. In some ways he was happy to see how miserable you looked, hopeful you'd come crawling back to him in pure adoration. Ivar couldn't think of a better way to gain a woman's affection than by making her jealous. Unaware of his ridiculous thought process, Ivar continued looking you up and down through his eyebrows. You could only glare back at him as you headed towards your room, but you annoyingly had to go past Ivar.

"You despise me, wife?" Ivar asked and you stopped in your tracks, sighing deeply.

"Yes." You said simply, even though you loved him you needed him to wake up.

"But… that's not. What?" He said confused, pushing the thralls to the floor, with a resounding yelp from both the women.

"What do you want, Ivar?" You looked at him with such disdain it genuinely surprised him.

"You cannot speak to me like that!" He yelled and you sighed again.

"Then kill me." You sounded defeated, you didn't care anymore. It would be easier for it to all be over so you didn't have to deal with the emotional turmoil of him.

"I'm not going-" he paused. "You are my wife! Why won't you respect me?" He yelled again and you almost winced at the level of noise he was making.

For a few moments all you could hear was the scrape of his crutch and the crackle of the fire, for a moment it felt surprisingly peaceful. You just wanted to exist in that scene, a beautiful fire with furs on the floor in front of it where the local children would sit and be told stories. There was such a serenity to watching children's faces as they listened to a story, they hadn't experienced the hurt or the pain. All they knew was that this was their favourite day because they could sit inside the great hall and feel important. Even Ivar couldn't take that sense of pride away from them.

"Are you going to say anything, wife?" Ivar broke the blissful silence and you couldn't quite believe how aggravating it all was.

"I hate you, I hate what you've done to me." Was all you said and he looked astonished.

"I won't have this bullshit!" He yelled even louder before calling for his guards. "Tie her to a tree in the forest." He swatted you away like you were a pest but, at this point you saw no reason to resist. Ivar would do whatever he wanted with his power and most of the time that would mean fucking you around.

Even the guards were uncomfortable as they threw a rope over a strong tree branch and tied you by your wrists so that your arms always had to be extended. It wasn't the worst punishment you could have got, you were surprised Ivar hadn't got a lust for blood when you disrespected him. He would continue to degrade you and debase you no matter what you did, even though you loved him it didn't matter anymore. Ivar was so consumed by greed or power or hatred for you that he couldn't focus on anything else.

Your heart felt cold and tight. There wasn't any room for any more love because you had given it all away to someone who didn't want it or didn't realise how much he needed it. In one breath you would hope that he would just come and kill you and in the other, you still hoped he would wait for you. That he would allow your coupling to at least attempt to survive. Sometimes when you were around Ivar, you would feel a tiny part of your body decompose. One part of you died because you couldn't hold on to someone who only wanted to break away from you. But all you wanted was to be taken back to when you were younger, you needed him, you wanted him and he would never be what he was again.

[miss-madness67]

Married Woman (Ivar & Bjorn)

You find yourself attracted to a man that is not your husband. Worst of all, he loves you too.

The first time you saw him, you were instantly drawn to him. It was not because he is a son of Ragnar, you didn’t even know at the beginning. It was all himself. His broad shoulders and his blue eyes were quick to hypnotize you. The next thing you knew, you were in his bed. You could easily say that night was one of the best you spent with him. From then on, your relationship moved quite fast. He wanted to marry you, and you didn’t oppose. You married at Hedeby, his mother’s domain. You met him there when he came back from avenging his father in England. Your family just moved to the town in hopes to marry you. They were not disappointed when Bjorn Ironside took you as his. Not that you were complaining. Marrying a prince was more than you were expecting, considering that your parents are farmers.

“It’s really hard to be here and look at you, as though I’m not completely in love with you.”

The thread you were knitting breaks when you hear Ivar behind you. You stand up and turn to face him. He is by the door that leads to the hall. You take a quick look around the resting room, you are lucky it’s empty right now.

“Ivar, you know you can not say those things.” You scold, looking directly at him.

His gaze is so intense you have to look back at your knitting. You are making a robe for Bjorn. Lately, he has been a little distant. You think it is perhaps because you have yet to get pregnant. Yet, considering that you have not slept together in two weeks, it is a little hard to do so.

“It is the truth, should I lie, uhm?” he raises a brow mockingly.

You met Ivar a few months ago when Bjorn decided to come back to Kattegat for a while. You had just been married for a few weeks then, still, you instantly knew that Bjorn was not a man that stayed in one place. When you arrived at Kattegat, you also learned that you were not your husband’s first wife. Apparently, Torvi had just separated from him before he went to Hedeby. And he had another wife before her that disappeared.

You leave your knitting behind and walk to the other side of the room. “It is something you should not say to your brother’s wife,” you respond without glancing his way.

Ivar has always harbored feelings for you. They were not evident at first. He was just kinder to you than he was to everyone else. Then he started to get bolder, to the point that even Ubbe had noticed. Luckily, neither Queen Aslaug nor Bjorn suspected anything. You thought that perhaps if they knew, they would surely kick you out. Not that it was your fault Ivar felt that way, or that you have done anything with him. You have not.

You hear Ivar’s crutch as he approaches you. Your heart starts pounding rapidly inside your chest. Even if you have never done anything, you cannot deny how your body reacts to him. It is not that you do not have feelings for Bjorn anymore, it is just that what Ivar brings out in you is stronger. Ivar’s hand finds its way to your hip. His fingers delicately trace inconsistent patterns on your hip bone. Your skin burns to the contact in spite of the clothing in its way. You try desperately to control your breathing. He cannot know that his desire is reciprocated because if he does, you are scared of what he will do. You are scared you might do not want to stop him.

“My brother does not deserve you,” he whispers in your ear. “You know how he is. I’m sure Torvi has warned you he is quick to fall out of love.” She did warn you, but you refuse to believe it.

You try to step away, but he does not let you. “It is fine, once I am with child it will be fine.” you attempt to justify.

Your skin feels hot to the touch. You want to escape the feelings that Ivar causes in you, so you think that if you turn around, he will put distance between you. However, once your eyes clash with his, his hold on you tightens. You have never been this close to Ivar. For a moment, all of your rational thoughts leave your brain instantly. The only thing you can think of is his eyes. They are so unlike his brother’s. The shade is the same, yet they transmit something entirely different. They make you feel something completely new.

At that moment of insanity, you take a step towards him. Your senses drown in his presence. You feel you, yet you feel more. Your hand finds its way to his neck. He is taller than you and you love it. His chest clashes with yours and both your breaths mix. You do not know what you are doing, but it feels so right. It is like welcoming your lover after how long raid far from home. It is everything you wish you felt with Bjorn but never did.

“Once you are with me,” he murmurs on your lips, “it will be fine.”

You do not have time to process what is happening, or even to think. One moment he is looking at you like you are his whole life, and the next, he is eating you like you are the greatest feast ever served. His lips mold perfectly with yours. Your hands cup his neck exquisitely. His hand moves from your hip to your back, leaving a trace of fire on its path. Your tongues dance like never before, and you forget your name. It feels like, before this moment, you didn't truly know what happiness and passion were like.

You feel the hold on his crutch slightly wavering. You know that he is strong, yet he must be feeling lightheaded like you. You part from him momentarily, and he tries to follow your lips with his. You pay no mind and quickly locate a chair nearby. You push him towards it. He sits with a puzzled look on his face. Still, he easily knows what you are up to once you climb on his lap.

Your mouths take no time to find each other again. Now, both of his hands caress your sides and your back lovingly. Meanwhile, yours play with his braided hair. You wish it were loose so you could run your fingers through it. You move your hips involuntarily. That causes a moan to escape his mouth. If you were not aroused before, you are now. You continue with your movements so you can listen to the delicious sounds his mouth makes. It is until he places his hand in your left breast that you realize you are moaning too. Right now, you are not thinking that you are in a room where anyone could walk in. You are not thinking about Bjorn. Or the fact that you are kissing his brother.

A loud crash breaks the atmosphere instantly. In the doorway, a male thrall is standing with a surprised look on his face. At his feet, there is a jug with spilled mead. You quickly climb out of Ivar. The thrall turns away, apologizes, and scurries off. You do not try to go after him to prevent him from saying anything. You are too embarrassed to even glance at Ivar. The silence stretches for a moment.

“I…” before Ivar can say something else, you run out the door.

...

A few days go by. You have been ignoring Ivar ever since the kiss. You only talked when he told you that he took care of the thrall. You did not ask what he did, but you suspect it. A dead slave would not be questioned. In that short conversation, you only managed to nod and flee. The desire you feel for him is too great to simply ignore. Now that he knows he is reciprocated, he has been more persistent in his advances. It has made it nearly impossible to avoid him. Still, what you fear the most is that if you are in a room alone with him, all of your resolutions will be broken again. You fear Bjorn noticing your heart no longer belongs to him. You do not think he will hold it against you, but you still care for him. You do not want to break his heart.

On the other hand, some part of you believes it will not be broken. He has kept on being distant towards you. The night you kissed Ivar, you tried to sleep with him out of guilt. Your advances were stronger than the nights before, and he finally complied. It is safe to say that was the worst sex of your life. At first, he could not get it up, and then it was just not… satisfying. You had to conjure the image of his brother in your mind in order to finish. So, even more so than the neglecting, that was what made you think there could be another woman. Torvi had warned you, so had Ivar and Ubbe. You did not believe it then. Now you do.

As you follow Bjorn through the streets of Kattegat, some part of you wishes to be wrong. You do not want him to cheat on you, which is a bit hypocritical considering you kissed Ivar.

A woman crashes with you, and she murmurs insults your way. Nevertheless, when she looks at your face, she stops. Recognition flashes in her eyes. She smirks, apologizes, and then says something like "one of Ironside wives". The comment bothers you, not because that would make you second to other women in Bjorn's life, but because that means that you are not even memorable to the people of Kattegat. They think you will be gone soon, forgotten in the list of many wives. That you are just one of the many he will have. Still, you must not let it show that it bothered you, so you look down on her way and walk off.

The little encounter makes you lose sight of Bjorn. It takes you a while to find again his blond hair in the crowd. When you do, you see him entering a cabin on the outskirts of town. It was hard to trail him without him noticing, but now that you have seen where he went, you do not want to ruin it. You wait a few minutes at a safe distance, but no one comes inside. Slowly, you approach the place. Your heart is pounding rapidly, wondering what you will find.

The first thing you notice is the loud moans of a woman. That makes you freeze on the spot. Your head screams ‘I knew it’ but you need to see, to make sure. There is a crack in the wood near the door, you go near it. The hole is big enough to show you what is inside. From your spot, you have a direct view of the bed. You are not surprised by what you see.

Your husband, Bjorn, is bent over a woman laying in fours on the bed. You cannot see her face, but you distinguish blonde hair.  Bjorn is pounding rapidly into her. The cabin is filled with her moans and the obscene sounds of flesh hitting flesh. Bjorn groans above her. He grabs her by the hair, lifting her face, and that is when you recognize her. You have never talked with her, after all, she is merely a thrall. You think her name is Freydis. You remember her because she used to cling to Ivar until she realized he was not interested. Back then, you had been slightly jealous. Now, looking at your husband fuck her makes you feel… relief.

You had expected to drown in betrayal or heartbreak. None of that happens. Instead, it is then that you realize that you can be free about your feelings for Ivar. If Bjorn does not care about you any longer, then it does not matter that you are in love with another. You no longer have to remain loyal to him or feel guilty over a simple kiss. Especially with him fucking a slave for Odin knows how long. However, you crave closure. So while Bjorn is still pounding her cunt, you open the door noisily.

Your husband looks up from his task and stops abruptly. He says your name, shocked, and pushes Freydis away. The slave falls to the ground with a thud, but you do not spare a glance her way.

“I know now why you were distant,” you talk first.

He stands up and covers himself with the furs. “I…”

You do not let him talk. You have never seen Bjorn Ironside startled, yet it is your turn to express your feelings. “It is ok, Bjorn. I do not mind, nor do I feel betrayed. Everyone warned me this would happen. Tell me, do you still love me?”

He is even more surprised now. He looks down at Freydis and then at you. He seems embarrassed, though certain. It takes him a while to answer. “I am sorry. I still care about you, but not the way I used to.”

You nod in understanding. “It seems like the gods had put us together to derive our paths to someone else.”

For a moment, he appears confused. Then, a knowing smile overcomes his face. “Ivar, am I right?”

Now is your time to be startled. “How did you…”

He interrupts you. “He is not very subtle… The way he looks at you, I have never looked at anyone that way.” At least he is honest about not loving the thrall either. Then, he adds: “just be careful with him, yes? He is still Ivar The Boneless.” You both know what he means, but you are done listening to your now ex-husband. You nod at him and walk away.

Your body is buzzing with freedom inside your veins. The love and desire you feel for Ivar drives you to search for him. You know he must be in the forest right now, probably in the spot he showed you once; where he went to think. It is not very far from where you are now. You bypass half Kattegat and then scurry off into the woods. The hike seems endless, but it is the best one of your life. Your heart beats fast, and your cheeks hurt from smiling. You have to control yourself before you meet him . You tell yourself that over and over again. And yet, when you see his back, you shout his name. He turns around and sees you.

He is confused, you can see it in his eyes, but when you sit in his lap and kiss him senselessly, he does not pull away. He places his hands on your face and pulls you closer. You know that you must explain everything to him. Tell him that you are no longer married, that your heart belongs to him, that you want with him what you could not with his brother. You want to tell him that and more, but for now, you express it in the kiss. And when he pulls away and looks into your eyes, you know he understands.

[procrastinatingsoicanreadfanfics]

Unexpected: Part 4

Summary: Ragnar returns, angst ensues (yes, he has that effect).

Notes: How do we feel about the reader finding out she’s preggers while Ivar is gone? (no, he won’t die on the raid)

Tagged: @bragisrunes @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie @punkrocknpearls @alicedopey @draculasbride-blog

Masterlist | Part 3 | requests are OPEN!

Ivar had been undressing her in the stables when Hvitserk had burst in, looking up at the ceiling because this was his little brother and not Ubbe, to tell him the impossible: Ragnar Lothbrok had returned to Kattegat.

She blushed furiously as she pulled one of her new dresses over her shoulders and helped Ivar with his crutches, but Hvitserk smirked at him knowingly.

“Should I accompany you?” she asked. Ivar shook his head.

“Go tell my mother.”

She nodded, leaving for the Great Hall, while he and Hvitserk went in a different direction.

“So when are you marrying her?” Hvitserk asked.

“I won’t.” Ivar replied simply.  Despite their father waiting for them at the other end of the town, Hvitserk stopped dead in his tracks.

“Why?”

“Mother made me promise I wouldn’t.” Ivar admitted, walking on. “And anyway, why do you care, hm?”

Hvitserk shrugged. “I want her as my sister-in-law.”

“I am not Ubbe.” Ivar hissed.

“I like her. She is kind, and I want to eat the bread she makes for the rest of my life. You should commit to her, tell mother that you truly love her.” Hvitserk insisted.

“For bread?”

“There’s been worse reasons.” Hvitserk laughed. His smile died down when they saw the crowd that had gathered around their raging father. Ivar caught the disappointment in Hvitserk’s eyes. But not him. This was what he had expected.

The people of Kattegat let his brothers through easily, but Ivar had to push his way through. His eyes met Ragnar’s the first time when he shouted, “Who wants to be king?”

For a moment, Ivar felt a rush, wanted to reach forward and take the sword that was offered to him, before he froze. He wasn’t stupid. So he let Ragnar throw his tantrum and embarrass himself, while he stayed still and let his mannerisms wash over him.

In eight years, nothing had changed about his father.

Aslaug’s POV:

Ivar’s girl came running into the Great Hall suddenly. She looked out of breath, for more than one reason. It seemed that once her youngest son had discovered he was a man, Ivar was insatiable.

“What is it?” she asked.

“Ragnar Lothbrok has returned to Kattegat.” She managed. Aslaug froze.

She was queen. Had been for the last eight years – Ragnar couldn’t just take that from her now.

“Prepare for a feast. Then come help me dress.” She commanded. Then, Aslaug left the room to go to her own chamber. With steady hands, she removed her current jewelry, searching for something more imposing. She wanted Ragnar to know that it was her who had built Kattegat into a trading center in the last eight years.

Ragnar made it to the room before she could. Aslaug slipped on the jade bangle that Ivar had gifted her, coming from a kingdom whose name she couldn’t begin to say. He slipped into the room like a shadow, quiet.

“My wife,” Ragnar greeted her. “And mother of my sons. We both know that love was not what brought us together. But you’ve endured me. You’ve suffered my words, and my neglect. Yet you never turned our sons against me. I am sure that there are times when you’ve hated me. But you never poisoned their minds, or stopped them from loving me. And for all of that, with all of my heart, I am grateful to you.”

She could feel his hands on her, fumbling with her hair and Aslaug wanted to turn around and scratch his eyes out. He continued, unbothered, even kissing her hair. He fucking petted her, like she was a dog, and Aslaug hoped that the Gods would strike him down where he stood. Yet, she didn’t move.

“Why are you saying this now?” Aslaug asked instead. Before he can reply, the slave returns, carrying her finest coat. She froze at the sight of Ragnar, standing behind her.

“Apologies, my queen.” She mumbled. Aslaug felt relief wash over her, and pride fill her. This slave saw her as queen of Kattegat, and not Ragnar as King. She didn’t even know a time where Ragnar had ruled here.

She laid down her coat before making to leave, but Aslaug stopped her.

“Stay.” She commanded.

The slave nodded, moving towards Aslaug, who stood from her seat abruptly. She could feel the chair hit Ragnar’s thigh. He took a step back, and Aslaug allowed herself to smile.

“This is Ivar’s slave.” She told Ragnar, who nodded. Before the slave could turn away, Ragnar caught her jaw in his hand. For the first time, Aslaug wanted to side with her.

“What is your name?” he asked.

“Y/N.” she replied. There was a pause at the end, and it was clear she wasn’t sure how to address him.

“What are you to my son?” Ragnar asked her.

“It would be better to ask him, I am but a slave.” She replied, avoiding his question. Ragnar rolled his eyes, suddenly bored and let her go. Aslaug stepped toward her, challenging Ragnar. He scoffed, and left the room.

“Thank you.” The slave said, her voice almost a whisper.

“We are still both women.” Aslaug shrugged.

Ivar’s POV:

She looked shaken when she came back to him, and he immediately knew that Ragnar had something to do with it. The entire way to the lake, she hadn’t said a word.

“Did he do something to you?” Ivar asked.

“He just- he’s very intimidating.” She replied. “But that’s to be expected of someone like him, I suppose.”

“And I am not intimidating?” Ivar poked.

“To others maybe.” She replied. “But?” Ivar challenged.

“I could see right through you.” She laughed. “He’s like a wall.”

They sat at the lake in silence for a while. Her head was on his lap for once, and Ivar combed through her hair gently while he tried to bring up the courage to tell her. He had agreed on it with his father in the morning, right after his return. It was late afternoon now, and Ivar still couldn’t bear to tell her.

He didn’t want to hurt her, but he needed to do this.

“I’m going to England.” He told her quietly.

“Is Ubbe going to lead the raid? Or you?” she asked. She had no idea.

“My father. Ubbe isn’t coming.” He said. Abruptly, she sat up.

“No.” she replied.

“No?” Ivar asked. “What do you mean, no?”

“I mean that the others talk. No one takes him seriously, after what happened in the town square. He’ll have to pay people to come with him.”

She looked at him intently, until her expression shifted, and she realized.

“You knew that.” She said. “You knew.”

“It’s my only chance to die with honor.” Ivar sighed. He saw horror take hold of her.

“That’s not true!” she argued.

“It is.” Ivar replied, feeling his fist dig into the soft ground beneath them.

“So you mean to leave me here? Alone? What will I do?” she asked. Ivar’s stomach sunk. He hadn’t thought of that. He didn’t say anything and for a while, he let her seethe with an anger that normally radiated off of him.

“I won’t let you go.” She decided. Ivar barked a cold laugh at her.

“You can’t stop me. You’ll return to your duties, and I’ll have Hvitserk and mother look after you.” Ivar told her. That would be the end of it, and she’d let him go without having his stomach turn into knots.

“No. I’m not letting you leave Kattegat.”

“You forget yourself.” Ivar roared. “You are a slave.”

She didn’t say anything, instead getting up. Then, despite what it could mean to her life, she spat at his feet.

“Fuck you, Ivar Lothbrok. I really thought you cared.”

He sat at the lake alone, until it got cold, stewing in his anger. He didn’t want to hurt anyone when he got home. And when he wanted to get back, his anger only grew again.

Normally, she helped him walk over the soft ground around the lake. He hadn’t dragged himself through the mud in months. He gritted his teeth together and began, ignoring the pain in his knees and shins, knowing that he would have to command her to take care of him later. She wouldn’t do it from her own volition, like normally.

He was halfway through the part of the way that had mud when he heard voices. Embarrassed, he turned around, seeing Ubbe and Hvitserk come towards him. Not this, not now.

Their laughter died down when they saw Ivar, his face marred with anger and completely alone. They looked at each other and then, wordlessly, they came towards him and lifted him up, helping him. Hvitserk didn’t mention ‘his girl’ and Ubbe gave him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder.

They carried him until he could walk again, and then, Ubbe handed him his crutch.

She passed him outside of the Great Hall, barely sparing him a glance. Ivar could see that she was still just as angry as at the lake, as well as hurt.

“My princes.” She greeted them. Her voice was cold, emotionless. Hvitserk hissed through his teeth when she was gone.

“Ouch.” He commented.

“Don’t push it.” Ivar snapped.

“Talk to her.” Ubbe suggested. “Make her see sense.”

“I can’t.” Ivar replied.

“Yeah, because you picked out someone just as thickheaded as you.” Hvitserk snorted. “Maybe try apologizing for your death wish.”

Ivar pushed him, hard, but Hvitserk only laughed, hands up in mock-surrender.

“He’s trying to help.” Ubbe reminded. Ivar didn’t reply, and Ubbe sighed. “I’ll take care of her while you’re gone.” He promised. Ivar nodded, before he limped off.

A few days later: Hvitserk and Bjorn leave for the Mediterranean

She hadn’t slept in his bed, not once. Ivar hadn’t made any attempts to apologize. His brothers could say what they wanted; he wouldn’t lower himself to her. She was lucky to be alive, and he didn’t even love her.

That is a lie. A voice in his head whispered. Strangely enough, while there was a rift between them, she had grown closer with his mother. They kept together whenever he saw them together, never talking, but keeping their distance from Ragnar.

She was there at the docks now, while Aslaug said goodbye to Hvitserk. She offered him a polite small as he passed her, and Ivar felt his fist clench with anger. He didn’t want anyone to look at her. When he glanced over at her, their eyes met for a second.

He looked away first, but he had seen the amber necklace around her neck. When the ships were gone, she followed behind Aslaug silently, while Ivar remained at the docks. He stayed there for hours, until it began to get darker.

Ivar sat down at the beach. He had seen Ragnar come here yesterday. When Ragnar had come back, he hadn’t uttered a single word, but Bjorn had given him a sad smile. Ivar didn’t know what it meant, and he couldn’t figure it out.

He tried to be frustrated about that, instead of her, but he failed miserably. When he heard steps in the sand behind him, he whirled around. She was on the beach too, but she hadn’t noticed him yet.

“Y/N.” he blurted out.

“My prince.”

Ivar patted the spot beside him, hoping that she would come. She hesitated, but eventually, she sunk down beside him, smoothing out her dress. It was the green one.

“Queen Aslaug-“ she said after a while, searching for the right words. “She tried to explain. I think neither of us want you to go, and I don’t want to understand. If you have to go, I cannot stop you. I just-“

She broke off, and they sat in silence for a while. “I am-“ Ivar began. He wanted to say he was sorry, he really did. “I didn’t want to cause you pain.” He said instead. “But it’s my only chance. Do you understand?”

“No.” she said simply. Ivar sighed.

“Promise you’ll come back to me. Valhalla can wait.” She whispered.

“I’ll try.” Ivar replied.

“It’s not enough.” She said, demanding. She was always demanding, but Ivar didn’t stop her. He wanted to give her whatever she demanded of him. He kissed her instead, because he couldn’t bring himself to say the words.

When they broke apart, he saw tears glittering in her eyes, angrily wiping at his when he felt the familiar sting. She mirrored his actions, before her hands began to clench into fists. Neither of them wanted to cry, and Ivar felt himself regretting his promise to Ragnar more and more.

He felt desperate, and lost and confused, but most of all, he felt angry. Angry at Ragnar for returning now, angry at her for ignoring him and angry at himself for hurting her.

“I love you.” He blurted out. Despite what I promised mother.

Her eyes grew wide at his confession, before she gave him a smile. A real one, one of those only he got to see. “I love you too.” She replied. “I love you so much.”

“Thank the Gods.” He stammered out. It wasn’t supposed to be something he wanted to say out loud.

“I missed you.” She admitted. “In two days, you won’t even be here at all.”

“Ubbe will take care of you.” Ivar promised.

“Prince Ubbe will take care of all my needs?” she joked, and Ivar rolled his eyes.

“Think of me.” He replied, imitating Bjorn’s cocky tone. She snorted, before she pushed him down gently, straddling his lap.

“As if that even comes close.”

Ivar felt pride swell in his chest, pulling her down toward him. His hand closed around her neck, squeezing gently, and she gave him a soft moan. Only now he realized how much he had missed this.

“You’re so fucking perfect.” He whispered. Spurred on, she began tugging at his vest.

“Outside?” he asked. “I thought you didn’t like that.”

“No one’s around. We’ll just have to be quiet.” She replied.

“You? Quiet?” Ivar asked. She rolled her eyes, getting up quickly, holding his crutch towards him. Ivar swore he had never walked so fast in his life as they made their way to the Great Hall.

They passed Aslaug, who only rolled her eyes at them, and then Sigurd and Ubbe.

“Well someone’s made up.” Ubbe called after them. Ivar shot a look in his direction, but by that time, he was busy with Margrethe again.

They barely made it into his room and onto the bed, and Ivar had to restrain himself not to rip the dress off of her. He had wanted to take his time with her, to make her squirm under him, but right now, Ivar did not have the patience for that. Instead, he let her guide him into her.

Ivar grabbed her by the hips, flipping them around so that he was on top, before he thrusted into her. He wasn’t careful, or gentle, but her moans spurred him on.

She scratched his back raw, and in return, Ivar grabbed whatever he could greedily. He felt wild, and free, and for a moment, he could forget that he was leaving her behind.

That he was abandoning her.

“You need to slow down.” She gasped under him. “Please.”

Immediately, Ivar came to a halt.

“Did I hurt you?”

“No. Keep going, just a bit slower please.” She replied.

He began thrusting more lazily, and she held him close. Ivar’s forehead rested on hers, and he closed his eyes.

“I’m sorry.” He finally whispered.

“I know. I’m sorry too.” She replied.

“It showed me you truly cared.”

The day that Ivar left, she handed him his new sword at the dock. His mother asked him not to go one last time, but Ivar’s mind was set. He hugged her goodbye, before he moved on to his girl.

“May the Gods keep and protect you.” She told him. Everything else, she left unsaid.

“And you.” Ivar mumbled. If he looked at her, he wouldn’t be able to leave. So he turned around and got into the boat. Ragnar patted him on the back, giving him a look Ivar couldn’t read. He only knew that Ragnar thought this girl didn’t mean anything to Ivar.

As the boat sailed away, Ivar looked back at Kattegat. Neither of the women moved, both unwavering until they were out of sight.

[barnes-lothbrok]

Jealousy

Ivar x reader

Summary - Ivar and you have always had a bond, a closeness but over time and as you mature things change, Ivar gains feeling he can't explain

Warnings - angst, fluff, death of a parent, swears

Word count - 2k

This all started because of a gif set by @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie and I sort of ran away with it

ווווווווווווווווווווווו×

You grow up alongside the sons of Ragnar.  Being the daughter of Aslaug's closest confidant, you were always in close proximity to the brothers during childhood. You were closest in age to Ivar having been born only a few months before and as you grew together, you formed a bond that no one could truly explain. 

You were the only one who wasn't terrified of him after the incident with the boy. As all the children in Kattegat would run away from him, making a game out of it, you were seen happily pulling his cart around, chatting away to him as you venture around the town taking him anywhere he wished to go.

On days where he was unable to play, you would sit with him and make up stories to keep him entertained, often acting out some of the scenes, bouncing around his room as you fought a dragon or giant sea monster. 

As time passed a few things changed, while he was being mentored by Floki, your mother had you learn the loom and the meaning of different herbs.

But you were never apart for long as on days when he was still busy you would run to Floki's cabin and wait for him. On days when you didn't meet Ivar, he would wait for you by the tree you'd claim as your own when you were younger, having craved IL + YN into the trunk.

You spent hours laying under the tree, side by side, watching as the sunset and the stars appeared twinkling between its branches. It was the place you shared your hopes and dreams with one another.

You wished to become a shield maiden, just like the legendary Lagertha, while Ivar dreamed of becoming a warrior, to be able to raid and fight along side his brothers. 

The afternoons and evenings spent under that tree was the first memory Ivar had of the flutter that appeared in his chest whenever he looked at you. You never laughed or mocked his desires, you simply listened and smiled at him. 

The first big change to your friendship was when Ivar spent the night with Margrethe. Everyone was aware of how she spent her time between the princes, of how she'd captured all of their gaze. She was extremely beautiful and you never missed the way, they all looked at her, especially Ivar. 

So one evening after having been invited to dinner and Aslaug had left the table, it was no surprise when his brothers tried to convince Ivar that Margrethe was the perfect option for him to lose his virginity. They spoke as if you were one of them. 

"I'm sure Y/N agrees" Hvitserk said, finishing a mouthful of pork "Right?" 

You looked between each of them from Hvitserk with his dopey expectant smile to Sigurd who peered from under his hair, gripping his cup a little too tight, he had always hated the idea of sharing with Ivar, and then to Ubbe who's smile dropped slightly as if he knew you didn't want to answer. 

"I mean, sure" You shrugged, looking down at your cup of ale, unable to even look at Ivar. If you had, you would have seen the light in his eyes fade a little. "The way you all speak of her, he would be a fool, not too" 

After that night and the rumours of Ivar being impotent spread, Ivar drew himself away from you, spending more time training with his brothers or at the blacksmiths. 

Your dream of becoming a shield maiden was put on hold when your mother became sick. A plague hit the town, taking your mother with it. Aslaug brought you in as a kindness for all the years your mother was by her side and treated you like a daughter she never had. She taught you many things a woman could be, beside being a shield maiden. 

On the day, Ivar took his first steps, you had been in the market when you noticed Ubbe and Hvitserk hanging around the blacksmiths. You made Hvitserk jump as you suddenly appeared between them.

"What are you doing?" You spoke loudly and close to his ear, causing him to almost choke on his apple. You were about to laugh until he pointed at two legs caged in metal on the floor. 

While grunting and groaning, Ivar heaved himself up. You wanted to rush forward and help him but Ubbe gently placed a hand on your shoulder. Taking small and wobbly steps, Ivar stood before your trio, a wide grin on his face.

"Ivar" you whispered, looking him up and down before grinning back "Ivar, you're walking!" You joyfully cried before barreling him into a hug and having to apologise profusely as you almost knocked him backwards. 

ווווווווווווווווווווווו×

It was after the return from their first raid, that Ivar noticed his brothers spending more time with you, getting closer than they did before. It seemed to grip his chest with an urge to hurt them or pull them away from you every time he saw it.

The summer away from you seemed to make the Lothbrok brothers notice how you had turned into a beautiful woman. No longer the messy haired bundle of energy that would play-fight with them or get drunk with them but a woman who held herself with elegance and grace. While they had been away, Aslaug had turned you into someone much like herself. 

Ivar first noticed Hvitserk being closer to you. The pair of you had been sparring, although their mother didn't approve, you would often join them in training when you were free to do so.

As you moved backwards, you stumbled over a small rock and while trying to catch you, Hvitserk's feet became tangled in your own. Crashing to the ground, Hvitserk arms were beside your head as he caught himself from squishing you. Your faces were inches apart as the hair falling out of his braid covered your faces like a curtain. 

Ivar didn't miss the way, you stared at each other, breaths caught before you burst out laughing when Hvitserk dropped his head and blew a wet raspberry on your cheek, causing you to squeal with laughter and push him away. 

The second was Sigurd. He nearly fell over when he walked into the hall and found you sitting on the floor in front of Sigurd. His arms were wrapped around you, from the chair above as he tried to teach you the strings to play a tune on the lyre. He'd been practicing for Ubbe and Torvi's wedding.

When he played it always sounded so beautiful but when you tried it sounded broken. 

"Sigurd, you make it looks so easy" you whined and tried again before you both cringed at the noise it made "nope, I'm leaving the music to you" 

"Probably best too, don't want to anger the gods at the wedding" He teased before surprisingly kissing your cheek. Sigurd had noticed Ivar watching and could help a smirk as he watched him leave before you looked to where Ivar had just been having missed him.

The third and final straw was Ubbe. Everyone was celebrating his marriage to Torvi. The hall was filled with music, laughter and drunken singing. It was late into the celebrations when he saw you speaking to Ubbe and Torvi. 

He'd been watching you most of the day as you walked around, looking like a goddess in your flower crown, with your hair loose. You'd laughed and spoken with many people but not him. He supposed that was his own doing as he pushed you further and further away but how he wished it was himself that you were laughing with. 

He watched over the rim of his cup as you took Ubbe's hand and began to dance. Sigurd and his band changed the music to a slower pace and Ubbe happily twirled you around, his hand coming to rest on your lower back. Ivar could see you talking and smiling with each other. Ubbe said something to make you laugh, the melody echoed in Ivar's ears. 

He clenched his jaw, eyes trained on the pair of you before looking away as your eyes met his. When he looked back again, he felt his heart being squished as you kissed Ubbe's cheek. He slammed his cup down and angrily gathered his crutch. 

He couldn't watch anymore. Ubbe was married and he still had your affection, all of them did but him. Sure, he'd never seen anything more than kisses on the cheek but it was more than you had been giving him.

Ever since they returned, you didn't follow him around like you used to. In the past he would throw a tantrum and yet you would still be there the next day but now you seemed to be allowing him to keep the distance that he created and he didn't like it. 

He thought about going back in there and demanding you talk to him again, that's all he wanted, was for you to talk to him. 

That was a lie, he wanted so much more. He wanted to wake up beside you, kiss you, feel your touch. He wanted have celebrations like this for the pair of you. To have the life you promised each other under that stupid tree when you were too young and naive to understand the promises you were making.

You were meant to be his, you were always his and now you were slipping away with every passing day. 

He paused for a moment conflicted as to keep going or to turn around. If he kept going, he would have time to think but turning around meant he would get answers to satisfy the demons telling him, you hated him, that you couldn't love him, that you pitied him. 

As he turned around, he was taken aback by you coming out of the hall making your way towards him. "There you are" You smiled at him "where are you going? I was looking for you" 

"Well I'm right here, I have been all night. Not that you even care" Ivar's brow was creased, his eyes struggling to hide a burning anger. 

"Not care? Ivar, of course I care" you smiled didn't fade as you looked at him "I wouldn't have come to find you if I didn't, you donkey" 

"You have a funny way of showing it" he spat "Parading around all day. Laughing at any man's attention, even throwing yourself at the groom. It's embarrassing, like a dog in heat" 

"Throwing myself at the groom?" Your smile dropped and turned into a frown "I was congratulating Ubbe on the marriage to the woman he's loved for years. Every woman can offer the groom to dance, mine was tame compared to Greta's, which you would have seen if you hadn't stormed out" 

"I wasn't going to stay and watch you embarrass yourself any longer" he held his head high, looking down on you. 

"Embarrass myself? I was having fun. Which is more than I can say for you. Sitting in the corner of your brother's wedding, watching me with a face like someone pissed in your cup" you spat back. 

He was shocked by the fact you noticed him watching you. You always noticed those intense blue eyes on you. 

"Honestly, Ivar, I don't understand what I have done," you sighed "Ever since you got back, you have been this brooding, and sometimes cruel bastard. I have seen you like that to others but never to me" 

The way you said his name like it was laced with venom, hurt  "So tell me Ivar, what have I done?" 

His jaw clenched as he gripped his crutch harder. His demons were yelling at him to call you a whore, nothing more than someone to warm his brother's beds, that you only stuck around for the lifestyle his mother gifted you and that you'd do anything to keep it. 

But he stopped himself, as he looked at you, the expectant look on your face, the hurt in your eyes and the heavy raise and fall of your chest as if you were scared of what was going to come out of his mouth. He knew his anger could be vicious but never had it been directed at you before. 

"You make me feel…." He started before looking away from you "You make me feel," he quietly said, looking you in the eyes again "and I don't like it. I want it to stop. I don't know how to make it stop" 

[underscorewriting]

Happy moments are the saddest

Ivar Ragnarsson x Reader

This is pure fluff mixed with a little angst, nothing to worry about tho :) (I uploaded the same oneshot on Wattpad!)

1326 Words

Soft crackle of fire was heard in the middle of the night in Kattegad. It was quiet, it wasn't a usual night. It felt like something big was about to happen. Quiet giggles were shared in the comfort of the night. The sureness that the gods were admiring them was in their hearts. 

A few hours ago anger was poisoning their hearts, which now are filled with so much love and ecstasy. Love for one another, not fearing what was about to happen, not fearing death sneaking up on them and inviting them in like an old friend. An old friend that would take them to Valhalla to dine with their gods. They couldn't find it in themselves to care. Not about something that seems so far away from now, they felt immortal. 

They simply didn't feel human, their love made them feel like nothing could kill them, not the war that is soon to happen nor anything else.  A laugh rips out of the girls chest as the king pulls her into his chest away from the flame and into the comfort only a loving husband can show to his wife. 

The girl only gave him a playful glance before pulling out of his embrace, walking backwards closer to the fire again, shooting him the smile that made him fall for her. Made him believe that she was blessed by Freyja herself. In his eyes there was so much admiration, he felt like he should ask the gods if she was a cruel hallucination, if they made fun of him for praying for a beautiful wife that would love and cherish him the way he was born. A girl that was able to see past what he was, a crippled and broken boy. 

"Be careful, my love. The fire might not feel as pleasant as you think it is." He smirked sarcastically as she rolled her eyes, sticking her tongue out at him. "Do not worry, I don't think I would ever be happy or blessed enough to try  to hug the flames, my dear." A giggle escaped her as she turned away, only to start dancing around the fire with no care in the world. Feeling Ivars eyes on her the entire time, she couldn't hide the grin forming on her face. 

She enjoyed moments like this, moments in which Ivar isn't angry or in terrible pain. She hated when she couldn't help him weaken the pain, even the smallest comfort she would give him sometimes even hurt him. Ivar always assured her that everything was alright, that he could deal with it, but she couldn't hide the hurt and panic in her own eyes thinking she hurt him. At nights sometimes she would cry, not because of the cripple she married, no, she loved him for how strong he is and for who he is, but she would cry for the pain the gods put him through each day. 

Ivar caught her like this once and apologized for being crippled. She hated every minute, no, every second he thought she cried over not having a husband like his brothers. That night she held him, just like he held her every other night because of her nightmares. But this wasn't a nightmare, this was real. She wanted to show him how much she loved him, how much she admired him the way he is. 

A sadness build on the kings face watching her. He couldn't dance with her, even if he wanted to deeply. "What is it, Ivar?" Worry was clear in her voice as she kneed down in front of him placing a hand gently on his thigh. He looked away. "Stupid fucking legs..." There it was. the self-hatred he felt. "My love..." A gasps escaped her as he looked her straight in the eyes, his ocean blue ones filled with tears. Tears out of anger. He couldn't give her anything, except worries. "I can't dance with you. Who knows if I will be able to put my child in you. I can't give you anything except worries and pain. Do you think I don't see you praying to the gods every night?" A single tear drops from his eye as he angrily spat the words. 

The girl was taken aback, she didn't expect the night to turn out like this. "Ivar, I don't know how many times you need to hear it, but I am willing to spent every breath I have to make you understand that I love you, deeply. You're all I want, I don't care about your legs. I pray to the gods, because I want to keep you safe each time you leave, I want them to weaken your pain each time you wouldn't be able to leave our bed." Ivar did believe her, he just couldn't find the reasons why she would stay with him. 

She didn't address the worry he has about putting a child in her. A knowing smile was on her face as she admired him quietly, brushing hair back behind his ears, noticing that he needs new braids soon. "I love you, Ivar the boneless. I always have and always will. You have my heart in your palm." She placed a soft kiss onto his cheek, watching him closely. He calmed down, she could tell. His breathing became normal again and a small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. "I love you too, my dear. I don't deserve your heart for I can not give you a child, but I am selfish enough to keep your heart to myself." 

The small knowing smile slowly turning into a bright grin. Ivar looked at her confused, but had a shine of joy in his eyes, enjoying seeing her so happy. "I am with your child, Ivar..." She spoke quietly, seeing his eyes widen. "W-what? Please repeat yourself, I think I misunderstood you." A chuckle left his lips as he watched her. He felt like he couldn't breath, like his lungs were already filled to the brim with air. 

"Ivar, I am with your-" Before she could finish her sentence Ivar had her pinned underneath him, his hand on her cheek and the other on her stomach. She was already a little further into the pregnancy and with his gentle touch he could feel a short kick from inside her stomach. A gasp escaped him as he looked back up from her stomach into her eyes. "When did you realize?" He was in disbelieve. How? It never worked but now it does? The gods meant good with him, he was sure of it.

"I wasn't sure for a while until I talked with Helga a few days back, she noticed it immediately." A soft smile was on his face. Of course Helga noticed. "And you're sure this is -" She smacked him on the chest making him chuckle and drop his smirk as he pulled her closer. "Don't you dare finish that sentence, Ivar Ragnarsson." Her voice was playfully threatening and Ivar nodded bowing his head slightly. "Anything you please, my Queen." 

Rolling her eyes she pulled him back up into a kiss, going with a hand through his hair. His hands quickly found her cheek and hip again pulling her more into him. This was it. This was all he ever wanted from the gods. A loving and beautiful wife and a child, a child hopefully not with the same condition he had, he wouldn't be able to see it in so much pain. 

Pulling away they both were breathless. Ivar was already ready to continue what they started but she pulled him back up by placing a finger on his chin. "I'm already pregnant, my beloved." Ivar smirked and started kissing her neck. "And I was on my way to celebrate it." Both of them giggled and spent the night in each others arms, warmed by the fire and pressed against one another. 

[notathingjustthere]

Masterlist

I've been taking a break from everything and have been bored out of my mind. Don't really have a lot of motivation to do anything, so I started my small ass masterlist to hopefully motivate me to finish writing something.

Jumin Han:

Obstinacy

Ransom Drysdale

Not This Time - Ransom oversteps a boundary and cannot seem to accept the consequence of you ignoring him permanently.

Mint Hot Chocolate - You’ve been feeling really down lately when Ransom invites himself over after avoiding him for so long.

Ivar Lothbrok:

Hinge: Part I Part II Part III (In the works)

[crowwritesaway]

Ivar the Boneless Loyal Friend, Raven Masterlist

[istorkyou]

A Thousand Battles (A Modern Ivar AU)

A modern!Ivar x F OC (Julietta Lothbrok)

Warnings- Angst, violence, death, smut.

Synopsis - Julietta wakes up with no memory of her life or her husband, Ivar. Will it ever return? Does she want it to?

Word Count - 3113

Tag List - Let me know if you want on or off :)@smears-and-spots @punkrocknpearls​​ @youbloodymadgenius​​ @momowhoo​​ @zuxiezendler​​ @not-another-viking-fanfic-blog​ @ivar-s-my-brat-tamer​ @pieces-by-me​ @heavenly1927​​ @berryonasummerevening @synnersaint​​ @out-of-the-box-and-into-alchemy​ @petite-hime​​ @serasvictoria​​ @mimiiinspace​​ @itsmysticalmystery​​ @lonewolf471​​ @mylifeisactuallyamess​​ @draculasbride-blog​​ @love-all-things-writing​​ @southernbe​​ @redhead7799​​ @kaybee87​​ @ivarlover​​ @ivarhoegh​​ @idgafiamallthefandoms​​ @darkphoenix5037​​ @profoundtyrantharmony​​ @snarling-through-our-smiles​​ @crazyunsexycool​​ @xceafh​​ @noway4u @batmandallyboy​​ @complicatedbutrare @readsalot73​​​​ @meandmycherrytree

Masterlist

Chapter 14 - Final Chapter

He is in a meeting when his phone vibrates in his pocket. Well, it’s not really a meeting, more of an information gathering session in a warehouse involving sharp instruments and spilled blood. He’s been taking on more and more of these ‘meetings’ since she disappeared, a good way to expel some of his rage and sadness productively.

He walks away from the man he is dealing with, wipes his hands on a cloth and gets his phone out to an interesting message on his screen.

One of her passports was used to get into the country three hours ago.

A smile quirks onto his lips very briefly followed by a deep inhalation of breath.

“You, take over from here. Just kill him. I’ve got the information I need now.”

He hears a gunshot behind him as he heads out to his armoured SUV to take him back to the estate.

When he arrives back he doesn’t go to the main house but straight to their house. He knows Ragnar would have got the same message and he needs to check something out first before he sees his father. He hurries to their shared closet, still full of her clothes and he pulls out the black shoes with the red soles, her stash spot, pulling out an untraceable phone. He turns it on and waits. The phone beeps twice. Two messages. Both from anonymous numbers, both from her.

Coming home. Too dangerous now.

See me before they get to me? I will come alone. I miss you so much.

He texts back quickly.

Yes. Will message soon. I love you. Thank you for all the photos last week, baby.

As he stashes the phone back he lets his finger run over the notebook that took him less than three days to decipher. One of the reasons he searched so hard for her and established secret communication. He cried for days when he broke the code and read her words. An anthology of love, dating from the night they met, describing every feeling she ever had for him, her deep love, the light he had reignited inside her after years of living in the black. Much as he had before he met her. The reasons why she acted as she did after Sardinia, the threats made against his life, the coldness she showed him when underneath she felt nothing but adoration. She explained it all in a diary she never intended for anyone to read. Her soul lives in these pages, and so does his.

Always and forever, no matter how far apart.

———————

He heads to the main house and into his fathers study.

”I am sure you’ve seen the message. She has returned.” Ragnar says without looking up from his papers.

Ivar nods. “I’ll take care of it. She will contact me soon, I’m sure of it.”

Ragnar looks up and stares into his son's eyes, carbon copies of his own. “Will you be able to finish the job this time? She cannot live, Ivar. She simply must die. If you feel like you can’t do it, or she will get the drop on you again I’ll send a whole team to hunt her down.”

“I’ll do it father. She is my responsibility. I will not fuck it up again. I’ll let you know when she contacts me and what the plan is from there.”

Ragnar nods in agreement and rounds his desk to embrace his son. “I am sorry for this, sorry it has to be done. You understand though?”

“I do. It’s been a long time coming,” Ivar says tersely, “I’ll speak to you soon.”

———————

He leaves the estate in his own vehicle, he drives for an hour and no one is following him. He pulls into a multi-storey car park and switches cars and drives for an hour to another car park and does the same.

It’s dark by the time he reaches the hotel. A shitty, off the track hotel he’d never be seen dead in usually. He walks as quickly as he can to a door and knocks three times.

The door opens a fraction and he pushes it the rest of the way, slowly revealing his wife to him. She has her gun pointed at him.

“Alone?”

“Alone, baby.” He steps in and shuts the door behind him before they walk quickly towards each other, arms pulling the other into a tight embrace, clinging to the other, tears falling.

“I missed you so much, Liet.”

“Fuck I missed you so much too.”

They pull at each other’s clothing, frantic to get the other naked as quickly as possible. When their goal is managed they fall onto the crappy, lumpy hotel bed together on their sides, her leg over his waist before he pushes her onto her back and he crawls over her, their mouths attached the whole time. She grabs his hard cock and lines him up a half a second before he pushes deep into her.

Their mirrored groans into each other’s mouths make them giggle.

“Fuck, love, you feel so good,” he says into her mouth before moving her inside of her, drawing deep, low moans from her. “I missed you every second of every day.”

“Me too, Ivar. Harder, please, harder!”

Their fingers dig into each other's skin, pulling into the other, trying to close the millimetres left between their bodies, a desperate need to feel every part of the other, a desperate need to fill the two year gap since they last were with each other physically.

It takes no time for their knowledge of each other’s bodies to kick in and they make each other orgasm. Shuddering against each other, the air blue with obscenities.

When they finally loosen their grip on the other they stay as close as possible, noses touching, laying on their sides, hands running up each other’s backs.

“Hi, baby,” he laughs out.

“Hi, love,” she giggles in reply.

They just stare at each other, who knows for how long. Long enough for him to run his hand through her longer hair. To run his fingers over some new scarring on her body. Long enough for her to touch his thigh where she inflicted a break. Long enough to revel in his eyes and compare them to his.

“Anyone since us, Ivar? Are you happy?”

“No one. No one ever again. Always and forever, baby. You?”

“Never for me, Ivar. You and only you. I need you to be happy again though. After all this.”

Ivar waves his hand as if dismissing her words. There is no point in lying to her, pretending he will ever let anyone in again so he just changes the subject.

“I did what you asked, love, I killed Lev.”

Her eyes fill with tears and she lets out a giggle of relief. “Thank you, Ivar. How?”

“I peeled his skin off slowly and I made him watch videos of us when we were happy, after the accident. He begged for your forgiveness and his life in the end, love.”

A nasty sneer flashes across her face. “Good, he deserves every second of pain you inflicted on him.”

A comfortable silence settles between them again before Ivar breaks it. “Where is he, Liet?”

“He’s safe I promise. I will need to get back to him in the early morning. That’s why I’m back, it’s too dangerous now. I’ve had too many close calls and I’m frightened for him. He needs stability, Ivar. I’m done running. I’m here to face what I need to, and to give you your son. You need to keep him safe from now on. I can’t offer him that any longer.”

Ivar knew this is why she had come back. Knew his men had almost caught her in Belize. Had heard rumours of her father almost tracking her down in Peru. Ivar almost gave himself away numerous times trying to throw them off her and their sons scent, Ragnar was suspicious at one point and that was when the Belize incident happened. He had warned her but a little too late. He begged her to bring his son back to him but she wasn’t ready.

She is ready now.

Ivar clears his throat, trying to dislodge the ball in it. “I am going to talk to my father. Things are different now, with the baby. I… I’ll talk sense into him. We can be toget…” the rest of his sentence is cut off by her lips crashing his. When she pulls away she gives him a little smile.

“Ivar. We’ve talked about this. Your father will not allow me to live, for his reputation and his own peace of mind. I knew coming back here it would be the end for me, I’m under no illusion I will not die tomorrow. I thought you had come to terms with it, baby?” She runs her hand over his furrowed brow and her thumb wipes a tear away. “Even if Ragnar allowed it, which he absolutely will not, I wouldn’t allow it. If my father knew I was back, knew about our son, he would never stop coming for me, for him. He wouldn't stop until we were all cold in the ground, everyone, your mother, father and brothers. There would be no peace until he had our son in his care. I can not allow that. I’m here so our baby can have a life without being hunted for the mistakes I made.” She is aware her voice isn’t as soft as she would like it to be, but she also knows that Ivar responds to this cold, detached hard truth. “I have loved you enough for a whole lifetime, this is how it has to be, love. You know this.”

He doesn’t reply, he nods stiffly and a silence settles between them.

“Liet. He will always know about you, I’ll never let him forget how much you love him, how much we love each other. No one will poison his mind against you.”

His heart breaks entirely to pieces as she crumbles down in front of him. She knows this is her last night on this Earth. Her actual last night this time. She is giving herself up for the sake of their baby. Their 14 month old baby who has his fathers eyes nestled in the features of his mother.

The greatest sacrifice a mother can make.

“Ivar, try to raise him out of this life. I know that won’t be easy, but send him to college, make him useful away from the violence. Make sure my father doesn’t get to him. Make sure Ragnar doesn’t ruin him. I’m trusting you with our baby, Ivar. You need to do for him what my past had robbed from me, a chance at a happy future. Be soft with him, like you are with me. Be loving and supportive no matter who he turns out to be or the choices he makes. Show him my Ivar, not the Ivar everyone else sees. Promise me?”

“I promise. I will be the best father,” Ivar says resolutely.

She gives him a genuine smile. “I have absolutely no doubt that you will.”

“Tell me more about him, baby.”

They spend the next few hours talking about him, his likes, his dislikes, how he sleeps curled up next to her every night with his favourite Elephant cuddly. She explains how rough the next few months will be for Ivar, he is his daddy but FaceTime can’t replicate a real connection. She explains how to best comfort him, what songs to sing him and how to make him laugh, what she wants for him in the future. She tells Ivar she has written letters for when he is older so he can understand what happened, but that it will be up to Ivar to judge when and if he feels their son can handle the information. Ivar says nothing, he just soaks up every word.

“I think that’s it.” She glances at her watch.”I will send you a text at 11am to tell me to meet me at 4pm. Your father will intercept it, we both know he will send someone. Just…. Just cover his eyes before, promise me you won’t both watch me die.”

“I promise. I promise you. We have 8 hours until I need to be home to get the message.”

“8 hours.”

“Those hours are for us and us only.” He reaches for his phone, and taps until the room is filled with music.

Everywhere by Fleetwood Mac.

He stands up and holds his hand out to her. “Come dance with me one last time, baby.”

Her eyes mist over again as she goes to him, clinging to him tightly. She closes her eyes, compartmentalises the coming day and enjoys every second they have remaining.

————————-

9am rolls around and it’s time for him to go.

They cling to each other before she loosens her grip and grabs his face, pulling it closer to hers.

“In the next life, Ivar. I will find you in the next and every life we have after. Look after our baby.”

He holds her face, forehead touching hers. “This life and the next. I love you. I will keep him safe. I promise on everything I am, my beautiful Liet. The bravest person I’ve ever met, my fighter, my Valkyrie.”

They share a kiss, a kiss so full of love, pain, admiration and promise that they both smile and cry as they pull away and he leaves.

—————————

His phone beeps dead on 11am.

Meet me at warehouse 2c at 4pm. Just you. I have something for you.

He enters the main house to his father waiting in his study.

“You saw the message?” he asks his Father.

“I did. I wonder what she has for you?”

“A bullet in my brain I would imagine?”

Ragnar regards him, hard eyes travelling over his face. “Take your gun. You shoot her on sight. There is nothing she has that we need, nothing she can give you worth anything. Kill her and we can all move on.”

Ivar nods quickly. “That is my plan.” He turns to walk out of his fathers office.

Ragnar waits until the heavy slam of the front door hits his ears before picking up his phone. “4pm. The docks. Set up a sniper. Kill her if he hesitates.”

——————-

Ivar pulls up to the warehouse and sits for a second. He closes his eyes and breathes deeply, trying to stop the flow of tears that have been cascading down his face the whole 45 minute ride over. His heart is ripping to shreds inside his chest, despite having years to come to terms with it, a tiny sliver of bright hope lit his black soul thinking they could be a family one day. His rational brain knew it would never happen, she told him weekly it would never be the case, but the fact that the end is now is too much for him to bear.

But bear it he must. Not for her, or himself, but for their beautiful son.

He walks into the warehouse and his trained eyes see the minuscule glint from the sniper rifle up high in the corner. He will be sure to tell his father about the snipers fuck up.

His eyes find her, standing in the centre of the massive room, her back to him. His heart stops. She hasn’t brought the baby, he can’t see his son. When he is close enough he gets his gun out and points it at her.

“Liet?”

She turns slowly, their baby asleep in her arms, she doesn’t look at Ivar, she doesn’t take her eyes off their baby, soaking in every last second she has with him. He lowers his weapon as soon as he sees his son.

“The sniper is shit, love. I spotted him the second I walked in,” she chuckles lightly, “tell Ragnar I said he needs better men.

————

The sniper can’t hear what they are saying, and neither can Ragnar watching from his office from a camera feed attached to the rifle.

“Sir, she has a baby in her arms.”

“I can see that.”

“Shall I take the shot?”

“No. Do not dare. I’m pretty sure I am looking at my grandchild.” Ragnars eyes are full of tears. It’s been years since anything elicited such emotion from him. He understands now why Ivar has tried to keep her safe these past two years, not just out of love for her, but a fathers love for his child.

Ragnar wipes his eyes and rolls his shoulder. “Be ready. This is an exchange. When it’s done I will give the word.”

—————

Julietta gives Ivar a look of pure love. “Ready, baby? When I hand him to you I need you to turn away and walk out. Don’t watch me die, love. Okay?”

Ivar’s nods twice. They step towards each other, he drops his gun on the floor so he can embrace her one last time. With their foreheads touching, and tears on their faces she hands the baby to Ivar, bends down, sniffs the baby's head and kisses him before turning her attention back to his father, placing a slow kiss on his lips.

“In the next life, love,” she says

“Always and forever,” he replies.

She takes two steps back and Ivar swivels on his heels, clinging to his son, lurching away on his crutch.

———-

“Sir, shall I take the shot now?”

Ragnar is silent. His heart is breaking for his son but he knows what must be done. Even if he saw fit to let her live Ragnar knows her own father would never stop coming for her and if he were ever to catch up with her he would torture her to death. Ragnar rolls his shoulders and clenches his teeth.

———-

Ivar hears the pop and the whizz of the bullet from the sniper fly past him. He hears the grunt from her chest on impact and he hears as she falls to the floor with a thud.

The tears in his eyes blind him, he squeezes his eyes shut to clear them. He wants to scream up into the universe, make the whole world hear his pain. But he looks into the face of his sleeping son in his arms and knows he won’t, he won’t scare him. So he holds it in, to be let out at a later time when his son is not with him.

He will be the best father to their son

For her.

His beautiful Liet.

FIN.

[vikingstoriesblog]

Vikings writing

who i write for

Ivar the boneless

Ragnar Lothbrok

Bjorn Ironside

Harald Finehair

Halfdan Black

Hvitserk the berserker

Rollo Lothbrok

Helga

Floki

Lagertha

Aslaug

King Ecbert

what i write

Romance

Angst

Dark

Fluff

Comedy

[darklydeliciousdesires]

DRABBLE/SHORTS REQUESTS!

All with be either straight smutty, hinting at smut, comic, angst or fluff (I will write dark, too, but only at your specific request so if you want this, please mention upon asking!) Each piece will run at either 100 words for a drabble, or more if I turn it into a short. The guys I write for are as follows - 

John Shelby

Tommy Shelby

Sean Wallace

Rio (Good Girls)

Alfie Solomons

Ivar the Boneless

Ragnar Lothbrok

Choose one man from the above, and one prompt below!

1. “I know he’s the one you’re getting married to, but he’ll never love you like I do.”

2. “I just found your underwear in my pocket.”

3. “Stop being a tease, or I’ll take you to the nearest darkened corner and fuck you so hard, you won’t be able to walk.”

4. “Good with your hands, hmm? I think I want to know more.”

5.  “Your legs look amazing, but they’d look even better wrapped around me.”

6. “No, we’re not going anywhere yet. Not until I get to show you just how gorgeous I think you look.”

7.  “Oh my god, I don’t think I’ve ever come so hard!”

8.  “I want to see those pretty lips wrapped around my cock.”

9. “Really? You’re pregnant?”

10. “A life where I don’t wake up next to you every morning isn’t a life worth living.”

OR, I will be taking requests for three word drabbles of your choice, if you don’t want to choose a prompt! This is a new little feature I’m rolling out, so yeah. same guys as above, please. Let’s see what you lovely people come up with!

Now, click on the below to read the rules of the drabble requests prior to sending one please!

RULES!

You must not ask on anon, or your request will not be honoured.

You must engage with a comment and reblog, or you’ll be blacklisted from drabble requests!

If I begin getting too many similar requests, they’ll be staggered and stay in my inbox for a while, so don’t panic that I’ve forgotten you! Please just send an ask and don’t reply on this post, then I can keep everything managed in one place. 

I’m looking forward to seeing who choose who and with what prompt! 

If you need to find this post in the future for reference, just search the hashtag ddd drabble requests and you should find it.

[peaceisadirtyword]

august (modern!Ivar/Reader)

A/N: Hello!! Please don’t hate me, July was a mess for me and I’m in Denmark right now trying to get my life together in some way! I will explain everything in a separate post if you want me to! But anyway, I had this written and as August just started I'd thought I’d post this😅 I think my writing is not what it once was, but I truly hope you like this one♥️ because I really enjoyed writing it. 

I won’t bother you anymore, I’ll let you read and (hopefully) enjoy🥰 thank you!

Warnings: smut, a bit of angst, it’s ivar, he’s in love with Freydis 

Words: +8k (I’m so sorry lol)

based on the song august by Taylor Swift🖤

Moodboard by me (taking screenshots and pics from pinterest!)

Ivar Lothbrok was the last person you expected to ask you on a date. You had been nervous about his presence for the entire evening, while Ivar and his brothers were sitting in the small bar you worked at, just in front of the beach, and ordering drinks as they watched the football game. It shouldn’t have surprised you to see them there, half of Kattegat went to the bar whenever there was a match, as your boss had decided to put an enormous TV to attract more customers to the big terrace just outside his local. He was happy as hell, but you preferred the quiet evenings of the early summer, when only some tourists and regulars came to grab a quick beer and maybe something to eat. But that day was even more chaotic.

Dealing with drunk guys was a nightmare itself, but when those guys were also mad because Norway was losing against Sweden it became too much to handle. Luckily, your coworker was nice enough to change tables with you so you wouldn’t have to deal with them. He had more experience in that field anyway.

But turning around and seeing the Lothbrok men sitting on one of the largest tables made you wonder whether it was better to deal with drunk men or with your childhood crush and his entire family.

They were polite and nice. Apparently, Ragnar Lothbrok was back in town for the summer, and Björn, his eldest son, was back from southern Europe where he had spent the entire winter working on his own business. So the entire city of Kattegat knew they were there, even if they didn’t make an effort to acknowledge the rumours surrounding their family.

Hvitserk and Ubbe recognized you. It wasn’t until Ragnar asked why you looked so familiar and Ubbe added that you were always in Ivar’s class that he raised his head to look at you with curiosity. Even if Ubbe, Hvitserk and Sigurd knew you -they had hooked up with some of your friends back in high school- you didn’t remember talking to him since primary school, when you broke some kid’s nose because he was messing with Ivar. The both of you were in detention together that day, until Aslaug came to pick him up and he left. Even then, he barely talked to you. But it didn’t stop you from developing a very strange crush on him, a crush that no matter how many people you dated, it wouldn't go away.

Until he got a girlfriend. You remembered the way your heart seemed to stop and your stomach twisted so much you thought you’d be sick when you saw them together on campus. You had cried, feeling stupid because he probably didn’t remember you existed, and had to endure an entire year of them being together, until Freydis left him just before summer. You tried not to feel happy, knowing Ivar was head over heels for her and he would probably be heartbroken but even if you felt the worst person in the world, you were still happy she left.

It was the first time you saw Ivar since the summer started, and he barely curved his lips to smile at you for a second and he went back to looking down at his own lap while his brothers chatted around him.

After taking their orders you went back to the bar to get the drinks, and you spent the rest of your shift so focused on your work that you missed Ivar’s stares. Hvitserk wouldn’t stop pestering him about how nice you looked that summer, and that he should ask you out as you had always had a crush on him. Ivar didn’t fully believe his brother’s words but you did look cute, and the thought of moving on and forgetting Freydis with someone else was very attractive for him, so maybe it was that what made him walk over to the bar while you cleaned some glasses and prepared to close, after his family was already walking down the street after Norway lost the match. Not that they cared so much, as they were half Swedish and half Danish.

You looked completely taken aback when he left the piece of paper with his number on the bar, barely making any eye contact with you in case you burst out laughing.

Instead, you stuttered a bit while asking him what was it, and tried to fix your hair, flustered and knowing you didn’t look your best, after an entire evening of running around carrying drinks.

“I thought we could maybe…” Ivar had cleared his throat, hating Hvitserk and himself at that moment “Go out sometime, if you want to”.

So a week later, after a few days processing that Ivar Lothbrok asked you out and building the courage to text him, you sat on the now cold sand of the beach with an ice cream on your hand and looking at the fjord in front of you, still tense because you sat next to your crush. He invited you to the cinema, and he had been polite but still distant and somewhat cold when you went to grab a late dinner, almost like he was being forced to be there. His blue eyes avoided yours and he barely spoke.

You had a very interesting conversation about politics, when you commented on a very hot topic on international politics and Ivar raised an eyebrow and seemed to listen to you for the first time that day. But the conversation died when you couldn’t find common ground on a specific topic.

And you were about to finish your ice cream and go back home, to inform your friends that it had been a disaster and that Ivar was by no means interested in you. It would hurt to process that, but a night out with your girls and maybe a hookup with a random tourist would help.

Until he spoke, with his eyes still fixed on the sun that disappeared behind the ocean.

“I remember you”

You stopped licking the ice cream, turning to look at him with a confused expression.

“I remember you would defend me in school” he added, finally looking at you “I remember you standing up for me even if I didn’t ask you to”

“Yeah” you shrugged “I know how it feels when everyone decides to hate you just because they feel like hating someone”

“You were the only one in class that stood up for me” he shrugged “I never said thank you”

“It’s nothing” you giggled “Honestly, it was many years ago, you had enough on your plate to stop and think about me” you shook your head. Ivar as a child not only had to deal with a disease, but also with his parent’s separation, his father’s absence and his mother’s addictions. You remembered hearing your family talk about it for years.

“Yes but I kept seeing you in high school and at university” he said “And I never said anything”

You tried to hold back an excited smile.

“You didn’t need to invite me out to thank me”

“I didn’t invite you out because of that” he raised an eyebrow “I did because I thought…” he looked down, his cheeks reddening softly “I thought you were interesting and I would like to get to know you…”

And my brothers pushed me, he thought. Ubbe and Hvitserk wouldn’t stop trying to make him talk to girls since Freydis left. And you were the only one Ivar kind of liked out of all the girls they had proposed.

“Oh” you smiled brightly at him “Well, that’s nice” you giggled “Nice to meet you, then, I’m Y/N” you offered your hand. Ivar looked at it for a moment and you’d swear you saw his lips curved on a small smile. The first time he smiled at you.

“Ivar” he took your hand “Nice to meet you”

____________________________________

Kattegat’s Port was one of the biggest in Scandinavia. Everyone agreed that it was impressive and the entire city was proud of it. But soon, you learnt Ivar preferred the old, small harbour that had only small boats and ships that imitated the viking longships. Most of them were made by Floki, Ivar’s uncle (even if you were very sure that they didn’t share the same bloodline), and he had spent most of his childhood in that place. A bit further away from the city centre, it looked like the perfect place for a late picnic on a summer evening, and somehow you managed to change shifts at work as soon as Ivar called to invite you.

This would be your third… Date? You weren’t sure whether they could be called dates or not, as he hadn’t made any move towards you, maybe he was just lonely and in need of a friend. In any case, and even if your heart broke a bit more whenever you thought about it, you were fine with being his friend, way more than you had ever imagined.

You had to admit the place was beautiful, cosier than the port and even romantic. Ivar was already there when you arrived, with your favourite dress on and a strawberry cake you had managed to make even if you were too nervous. There was some food over a plaid blanket and Ivar admitted his brothers helped him to do it.

“This place is beautiful” you muttered, looking at the closest longship that swayed in the water.

“Floki built all of these” Ivar said, making you look at him with a small smile. After spending some time with him, you learnt that his tone of voice changed whenever he talked of someone or something that meant a lot for him.

You remembered Floki and Helga, as she had been the best doctor in town and probably the sweetest human being you had ever met and Floki was known for being Ragnar’s close friend and the best carpenter in all of Scandinavia.

“Where are they now?” you asked softly, they had left one day, no one truly knew where or why and no one was brave enough to ask.

“Iceland” Ivar shrugged “They left”

You pouted, his sad tone contrasted with the other times he had mentioned Floki.

“Everyone ends up leaving” he added, shaking his head and turning his head to grab a few grapes he had brought “Ubbe is leaving now too, and Sigurd, not that I care about Sigurd” he rolled his eyes “But soon it will just be my mother, Hvitserk and I, until I finish the degree at least”

“Not everyone leaves, then” you smiled, trying to cheer him up a bit “Hvitserk and your mom are still here with you”

“My mother has no choice, she’s my mother” Ivar looked at you almost like he thought you were mocking him “And Hvitserk… He could leave with Ubbe but for some reason he wants to stay… Ubbe is going to England to work on my father’s business” he explained “Which is now run by Björn and his mother… I understand Hvitserk, I would rather drown than work for Björn''

You held back a giggle.

“And he’s also staying with you” you pointed out, taking a sip of the champagne Ivar brought. It was one of the expensive ones, way better than the one you drank during Christmas “So not everyone leaves”

His small smile faded again.

“I suppose he will do it someday too”

You moved to kneel closer to him. Ivar eyed you with curiosity.

“You have very little faith on people, Ivar” you said, shrugging “It’s not fair, you can’t possibly know what people will do”

“I thought Freydis would stay” he cleared his throat “And she left too, like my father, like Floki, like Ubbe”

It was the first time he talked about Freydis in your presence. You licked your lips and drank a bit more.

“You’re still young, handsome, smart… You could work on being a bit nicer, but… You have time to find someone else'' you giggled, even if you didn’t mean it. You really liked Ivar, but you hoped he wouldn’t find someone at least for a while.

“Someone that thinks I am handsome and smart?” he asked, tilting his head with a playful smirk. Your head felt a bit lighter then, and the sudden nerves made you tremble. He was closer now, and you had to take a deep breath and think very carefully about your next words.

“Maybe, someone you like”

“That I like someone doesn’t mean that I can make them happy” he added “I’m not ready for another relationship, I’m not ready to have all of Kattegat talking about it, wondering when they’ll leave me again” his smirk faded, and now he sounded serious. You knew he wasn’t talking hypothetically anymore “For now”

You nodded.

“Until you’re ready, I guess”

“Until I’m ready” he repeated slowly, almost like he was amazed by those words “Until I don’t feel like a replaceable, useless thing?”

“I’m no psychologist, but I’d say so” you smiled softly “You’re not a replaceable, useless thing, Ivar”

“I can’t have another serious relationship right now, Y/N” he sighed “I truly can’t”

“That’s okay” you muttered, biting your lip. Your eyes never left him, even if he was looking at the sea now. You were more than ready for a relationship, but a mere glance, a promise, a smile and a kiss was more than enough, knowing he only needed time and maybe he’d be yours one day.

“Are you sure?” he turned to look at you, and you looked so pretty and innocent, looking at him with doe eyes under the dim light of the twilight that he felt bad for using you in some way. But he hadn’t felt as good as when he was with you since Freydis left.

And it wouldn’t hurt to try and move on, right?

You didn’t answer. Instead, you leaned in and kissed him softly. Ivar closed his eyes, sighing, and kissed you back. You tasted sweet, like the strawberry cake you had brought, and somehow you were softer than Freydis. Ivar had warm and soft lips, better than you had ever imagined, and his hand cupping your face was comforting. It felt like your first kiss all over again, and in some way it was. It was the first kiss you wanted.

When you broke the kiss, Ivar looked much more relaxed. And he smiled at you. Your heart fluttered, and you didn’t remember feeling so happy in your entire life.

______________________________________________________

The sky lit up with a new flash of lighting, startling you, just as Ivar opened the door to his house. You hesitated before entering, but he practically pulled you in with a roll of his eyes. It was the first time you stepped into the giant Lothbrok house, and it was… Quieter than you thought.

“I don’t want to wet the floor” you muttered, looking down at the beautiful and flawless wooden floor. Probably his mother would kill you if you damaged it.

“It’s okay, you can’t stay out there” Ivar scoffed, part annoyed and part amused. He saw your widened eyes as you glanced around the entrance while taking off your shoes, and he thought you looked sweet, all wet and intimidated. It felt good to bring you to his house, almost like he was exposing a new part of himself. It helped that everyone was out that day too.

“Come” he pointed at the hallway that led to his room. While all of his brothers slept upstairs, he couldn’t walk upstairs sometimes, so Aslaug reformed the old playing room and Ivar moved there when he was too big for Aslaug or Floki to carry him. It had bothered him sometimes, especially when his brothers would stay in Hvitserk’s room playing video games and he found himself all alone downstairs, crying and feeling lonely. Or when during their high school years Ubbe or Hvitserk would bring some friends to spend the night and Ivar would be left apart when they finished eating and went upstairs to listen to music, drink and talk.

“You can have a shower if you want” he pointed at the bathroom as soon as he entered his bedroom. You glanced around, the large shelf full of books grabbed your attention, as well as some vinyls and posters, but you didn’t stare too much, thinking he might not enjoy people staring at his things.

“Thank you” you smiled softly, and Ivar’s face softened when he looked at you, taking a couple of steps towards you, he kissed your wet cheek softly. After a couple of weeks he was way more comfortable in your presence, and he kind of liked how excited you looked whenever he’d take the first step and kiss you.

“You have fresh towels in the bathroom” he continued “I’ll give you some of my clothes while yours dry, okay?” he walked over to his wardrobe and you turned around so he wouldn’t see your excited smile.

When you closed the bathroom door behind you, your eyes travelled around the room. It was enormous, like the rest of the house. Especially the shower, which was obviously adapted for him. The big mirror was spotless, the sink and walls were made of marble, but the floor was still wood, less slippery and warmer.

You took your clothes off, leaving them carefully folded next to the door and entered the shower. It was big enough so Ivar could move inside with no problem, and the water was warm. You let it run down your body and relaxed under it, immediately forgetting the cold rain that had surprised you during your date. The plan had been to go to the beach, nothing too special, but the rain had interrupted you and you had ran into his house, which was close and also empty.

You wondered if he would have invited you in with his family inside.

Even if that shower felt like heaven, you stepped out after rinsing off the soft gel that felt like gold on your skin and quickly took one of the fresh towels you had retrieved from the small cabinet under the sink. After drying off your hair, you secured the towel around your body and took your damp clothes before opening the door.

Ivar sat on the bed, looking down at his phone and only raised his head when you stepped out. For a moment his eyes wandered down your body, only covered by the white towel that reached the middle of your thighs. You trembled under his stare. Not even weeks hanging out with him were enough to calm you down in his presence.

“Give me those” he cleared his throat as he stood up, leaning into his crutch with a small wince of pain. You pouted and looked at his legs “I’ll put them in the dryer”

“I can do it” you mumbled, wondering if the rain and the dampness worsened his pain “Just tell me where it is”

“Are you sure? My brothers could arrive at any moment, maybe receiving them half naked is not a good idea” he bit his lip to hold back a laugh when you widen your eyes “It’s fine, I’ll do it and I’ll give you some dry clothes so you can change” he shrugged and you gave them to him and immediately your hands grabbed the towel to make sure it stayed in its place. Not that you’d mind getting naked in front of Ivar Lothbrok.

When he was back you still stood awkwardly next to his bed. That seemed to amuse Ivar, who opened his wardrobe and grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt.

“I’d give you something from my sister’s but she’s not in Kattegat now and keeps her bedroom locked when that happens” he shrugged. Smart choice, you thought, knowing you’d do the same if you had to share a house with five brothers.

“It’s okay” you muttered, grabbing the clothes “Thank you”

“What happened? The cat’s got your tongue?” he looked about to laugh again, and you looked down a bit flustered.

“Don’t laugh at me” you replied, biting your lip and glaring at him playfully.

“I’m not” he widened his eyes and pouted with feigned innocence.

“Being naked in someone else’s room is never comfortable, right?” you raised an eyebrow before you realised what you said, but Ivar was already laughing and shaking his head.

“I’m going to take a shower now” he said “You’re welcome to grab something from the kitchen or anything, but get dressed first” he raised an eyebrow.

You nodded and turned around to face the bed and give him some privacy as he grabbed the hem of his t-shirt and faced the wardrobe again, probably to get dry clothes for himself. But when you heard the shirt falling to the floor, you turned your head slowly.

His back was amazing. You already knew it, you had seen him grow into a huge and strong man, and you had touched it during some of your makeout sessions in the past couple of weeks. You had seen him shirtless on the beach other summers, with his brothers and always with his legs covered. Out of all of them, except maybe Björn, he was the strongest one, the muscles of his chest, arms and back toned from all of those years carrying his own weight. His skin had a golden undertone that seemed to glow, especially now that it was slightly wet. And his long hair collected in small braids  and a ponytail brushed his shoulders.

But what made you part your lips in awe were the tattoos. They covered the upper part of his back, shoulders and chest and you had seen a peak of them when he wore short sleeves, but they were even more beautiful from up close, and when his muscles tensed underneath them it almost looked like they were moving. They were nordic designs, like the ones everyone in his family had. You always found them fascinating.

But his head turning to look at you interrupted your thoughts and you quickly turned around, biting your lip when you realised he caught you.

“You were looking” he said, and he sounded partly amusedand partly surprised.

“Just wanted to see your tattoos” you muttered in reply, and it was in part true “Sorry”

“Don’t be” he shrugged even if you couldn’t see him. You heard his steps and his crutch approaching you and your heart started beating faster “Want to see them?”

When you turned around again he stood just behind you, and you had to look up to meet his eyes. When you looked at his chest again, your fingertips tingled with an avid need of running them over the ink lines.

“How did you get them?” you asked. They were a bit less perfect than the ones you had seen, the edges weren’t as clean but they looked beautiful anyway, almost like the ones a viking would have worn.

“The technique is called stick and poke” he shrugged “It’s a more traditional way”

“Sounds painful” you frowned, and Ivar’s lips curved on a smile.

“I’m used to pain”

You pouted again and raised your head to look at him, but didn’t say anything. You had seen him struggling over the years, knowing he spent long periods in the hospital, with long and painful treatments…

“I would like to get a tattoo” you commented, knowing he wasn’t in the mood to talk about his legs and his pain “Maybe this summer”

You finally felt brave enough to run a finger down one of the lines that crossed his chest, still looking down to avoid his gaze.

“I can take you” he said, and you nodded absentmindedly, amazed by how soft his skin felt under your touch. Then his hand touched your jaw, making you raise your head and the next thing you felt were his lips against yours. You whined in surprise but kissed him back, suddenly his chest was closer than ever and his warmth surrounded you. His hand left your face at the same time as yours grabbed his shoulders. It travelled down your body, and it burned your skin over the towel. When he reached your thigh and the edge of the towel, Ivar pulled down, and it fell down faster than you thought. It pooled around your feet, and you sighed against his lips nervously. Was it always this hot inside this room? Ivar’s lips left yours to kiss down your neck and collarbone. You were surprised to hear the sounds that were coming out of your mouth.

Suddenly he stepped back, but his ocean eyes didn’t leave yours as he walked over to the bed and sat down, taking sharp breaths with his chest rising quickly. He let the crutch fall down to the floor and leant back, supporting himself with his arms. You blinked quickly, suddenly feeling a bit conscious as you were completely naked in front of him.

Taking a deep breath, you approached him, scanning his face looking for any sign of discomfort. But when you stood close enough, he grabbed the back of your thighs and pulled you closer. His warm lips reached your belly and you gasped. It was more difficult to focus on being insecure about your body when his lips came so dangerously close to that zone between your legs…

When Ivar finally pushed you so you’d straddle his lap, you felt his already hard member pulsing against your core and your eyes fluttered shut when he kissed your collarbone again. When you opened them he was looking at you with his mouth on your chest, and it didn’t take long before you leant in to kiss him again. You had been with other people before, but you had never been so aroused in your life, feeling almost like you were floating.

Your fingers left his shoulders to caress his hair. Not really caring if you ruined his braids, you ran your fingers through it, finding it the softest thing you had ever touched. He let out a low moan, and you moaned in response. It was the most beautiful sound you had ever heard. But both the kiss and your caresses were interrupted by his hand reaching between your legs. Your entire body tensed and Ivar made a shooting sound with his mouth into your ear as he found your clit. This time the both of you groaned at the same time, you when he started moving his fingers and him when you bit down on his neck a bit rougher than you intended.

You let your head fall down onto his shoulder when one of his fingers entered you, letting out a moan a bit weaker, even if your volume only went up when he pushed in a second one and his thumb pressed on your clit. When Ivar curled his fingers and breathed into your ear, your walls clenched around his fingers. You were going to cum embarrassingly soon.

“Are you going to cum for me?” he whispered, and the sound of his voice so close was what you needed to start trembling and nodding desperately “Yes?”

“Yeah” you moaned “Ivar don’t stop… Fuck” you gasped when you finally felt it travelling down your lower belly. His mouth found your soft spot under your ear, and the force of your orgasm was enough to make you see stars behind your closed eyes, not even aware of the sounds you were making anymore.

When Ivar retrieved his fingers, he made you look at him as he licked them, into  his now darkened eyes before pulling you in to kiss you again, biting your lips forcefully and making you moan again when you tasted yourself on his tongue. He didn’t even let you breathe before he whispered again against your ear.

“Good girl”

You let out a strange sound, and as he crawled back to lean his head onto the pillows of his bed, still looking at you with a smirk of satisfaction on his face, you were more than sure that you’d do anything for him. As long as he looked and talked to you like that.

You didn’t even realise when you started crawling over him and straddled his lap again. With him laying down underneath you it was easier to unbuckle his pants, finally freeing his cock. Ivar let out a relieved sigh, but looked down to grab your wrist as soon as his pants were at the middle of his thighs.

“That’s enough” he muttered, and for a moment he looked shy. You stopped then, looking at him carefully.

“Do you want me to stop?” you asked softly, suddenly remembering his legs and the pain he could have been feeling with you writhing on his lap.

“No” he shook his head and grabbed your neck to bring you down and kiss you again “Just leave my pants on”

You nodded quickly, even if you felt a sting of sadness knowing he didn’t trust you enough to show you his legs. But the thought quickly left your mind when he caressed your body again, grabbing your ass and touching your waist and your thighs, making you let out needy moans again. It was like you couldn’t get enough.

You reached down to grab his member, and he took a sharp breath as his muscles tensed under your body. With a small smile on your lips as he lost control for a moment, you started moving your hand up and down. His eyes fluttered shut and his grip on your waist tightened. Ivar let himself enjoy your touch for a minute, letting out hisses and breathy moans before grabbing your wrist to make you stop. You licked your lips as he reached to open one of the drawers on the small table he had next to his bed, and you trembled in anticipation when he took a condom out. Immediately his eyes were back on yours, and you felt hypnotised again.

“Open it” he ordered, with the same, firm voice from earlier. You had to suppress a moan as you obeyed, ripping the package carefully “Put it on” your hands were almost shaking as you did it, finally realising the size and the thickness of his member, which made you gulp “Come here”.

Back on your original position, you straddled his lap carefully as he laid down on his back. His hands grabbed your hips and his eyes wandered down your body slowly. You felt a bit self-conscious again but he didn’t let you cover yourself. Instead Ivar lined his member with your entrance, teasing you with the tip until you whined in protest and made him smirk.

“Sit down” he said, and you obeyed again. His hand guided your hips as he filled you for the first time. It was overwhelming, slow and a bit painful, but even if you didn’t make the effort to hide your moans, you forced yourself to keep your eyes open, enjoying the way his face contorted in pleasure and he had to fight the need of thrusting up into you while his eyes narrowed. He didn’t stop until he was fully inside you, and he let out a groan as he waited a few seconds to let you adjust. Then he opened his eyes again and licked his lips before saying “Now ride me”.

You didn’t need to be told twice. You started moving your hips slowly, and immediately the pleasure filled every single corner of your body. His breathy moans only encouraged you to move faster, even if the tight grip of his hand on your hip still guided you, setting up the pace. His other hand caressed your waist, your belly, your chest, grabbed your neck and even touched your lips when he pulled you down to kiss you again. Your legs were already shaking around him, you felt light-headed and you nearly begged against his lips.

Ivar stopped then, guiding your hips to move in circles and then back and forth, which made you yelp when his member started pressing on a very specific spot inside you.

You didn’t even realise you had started to beg until Ivar let out a breath against your ear.

“Please what?” he muttered “Do you want to come?”

You only had enough strength to nod, sitting back down to make it go deeper. His hand left your body to touch your clit again, and you gasped when he made you move faster.

“You look so beautiful like this” he said, his voice breathy and deeper than ever “And you feel so good, Y/N…”

You whispered his name, as a warning. It was too much and the intensity of the pressure building in your lower belly told you it was going to be strong. Painful even.

Ivar gritted his teeth together. If your walls were clenching so hard around him then, he couldn’t even imagine how it would feel when you…

“Cum then” he whispered again as he started thrusting again “Cum for me”

You closed your eyes and let out a moan so loud he would’ve thought it was a scream. Your entire body clenched and trembled, you felt like passing away when a giant wave of pleasure washed over you, almost making you drown. Your nails dig into his shoulders and chest, and Ivar let out a hiss in between moans. He had planned to hold on a bit longer, but the feeling of your walls clenching so tightly around him was too much.

The both of you ended up panting and shaking, and you had to move away from him as soon as your orgasm ended, too sensitive to tolerate any kind of contact. Ivar sat down as you licked your lips and laid on the bed next to him, feeling dizzy and almost like you were going to pass out. Your limbs felt heavy and you weren’t sure whether you could walk at that moment. Ivar took the condom off, leaving it on the floor carefully before laying back down to catch his breath. You smiled then, for some reason you felt the need of smiling and giggling like an idiot. God, if that wasn’t the best experience of your entire life…

“Are you okay?” Ivar turned his head to look at you “Sorry if I was too rough…”

“I’m fine” you smiled at him “I just need a moment” you closed your eyes again, taking a deep breath. Ivar chuckled and rubbed his face. It felt good to have a distraction, to finally feel like he had taken Freydis out of his system. And you were so sweet and good to him…

After a few minutes, and completely against your will, you left the bed. You wanted nothing more than to crawl back in and cuddle him. Inhale his scent while leaning onto his chest and kiss him again, this time slowly, caress his hair and fall asleep with his heart beating under your ear. But he hadn’t made a move towards you, and you were already embarrassed remembering the sounds you had made just a few minutes before. Your legs still felt shaky as you grabbed the towel and covered yourself, even though it was maybe a bit too late for that, before going back to the bathroom.

After peeing and cleaning yourself as fast as you could, you stepped out again. This time Ivar was standing, and looked at you with a small smile.

“I’m going to have the shower now” he said, and you nodded, biting your lip “If you’re thirsty you can go to the kitchen and grab some water”

You nodded before the door closed again behind him, and finally got dressed.

A few minutes later, when you reached the kitchen with the intention of drinking at least two litres of ice-cold water, you found Ubbe and Hvitserk sitting next to the kitchen island, both talking quietly and eating something. Hvitserk was the first one that saw you, smirking widely and winking at you.

“Hello” he looked very amused as you stood there, dressed in his little brother’s clothes and wishing the Earth would explode at that moment.

“Hi Y/N” Ubbe smiled politely at you “It’s nice to see you again”

“Hi” you mumbled, knowing you couldn’t turn around and go back to Ivar’s bedroom without losing all of the dignity you had left “I… Can I have some water?”

“Of course” Ubbe stood up before you could add anything else and opened a cabinet to grab a glass.

“Yeah, I think you need it” Hvitserk chuckled “How was your day? Interesting?”

You nearly choked with the water, and Ubbe hit his brother’s head softly, rolling his eyes with an amused smile.

“Ignore him, Y/N” he winked at you “Want to eat something?”

_______________________________________________________

The small tattoo studio to which Ivar took you was located on a busy street, but somehow you had never noticed it before. The owner was a giant man with long, grey hair and a beard, and his serious expression changed completely when Ivar entered the local. They exchanged a big smile and a handshake while you stood next to the door shyly, looking around. You had insisted on getting a tattoo the modern way, and Ivar had laughed at that, reassuring you that Haakon -the giant man you supposed- could do that too.

“Today it’s not for me” Ivar shook his head when Haakon asked him which design he had in mind. Then he turned to look at you, and you smiled “She’s Y/N, she would like to get a tattoo and I told her you’re the best artist in all Scandinavia”

The man shot you a gentle smile and nodded, motioning for you to approach the counter so he could show you some designs. After a while discussing different ones and the changes he could do so it would look better on you and also be unique, you finally laid on the chair as Haakon printed the design and prepared his tools. Ivar sat on a chair next to you, a small smile on his lips. You got to hold his hand during the whole process, and the sting of the tattoo was somewhat forgotten when you realised it was the first time you held his hand and prayed so it wouldn’t be the last.

_______________________________________________________

When you got the idea of that improvised trip to Lapland, you didn’t expect for it to actually happen. But that day when the sun went up you were sitting on a train with Ivar next to you, and you looked out of the window feeling the luckiest person in the entire world, hoping that warmth would last forever. His leg was touching yours, and your hand twitched with the need of grabbing his.

A week ago, during a night in which the rain and thunder didn’t let you sleep, you opened your laptop and organised a trip out of boredom. Lapland was always a good idea, and even better when after Lapland you got to travel around Finland by train and fly back home from Helsinki. Trains were a cheaper option and way more comfortable for Ivar, who had now way more space to stretch his legs and a comfortable seat. You had messaged him at dawn that same night, thinking he’d say no. He took a few minutes but he said yes. And you had squealed like a teenager at the thought of a trip with him. Ubbe had given you a few tips to help with his legs, and Ivar was surprisingly very calm and even looking forward to the trip.

“Feels good to be out of that city for a while” he muttered, his eyes narrowed as he just woke up and the sunlight hit them directly “I needed a distraction”

You turned your head to smile at him. Ivar’s expression relaxed. He liked you, and found it very cute that you always had a smile for him.

“Yeah, I guess” you shrugged “It’s a good way to end the summer too”

Ivar nodded absentmindedly. His phone inside his pocket burned then, and he remembered the text he received a few days ago. A part of him needed that trip to get it out of his mind, to avoid overthinking. But her words were embedded in his head.

I’ll be back on September 1st. Then we can talk. I miss you♡

Ivar wondered how she could miss him when it was her who left him. For someone else. Ivar had had his heart broken for the entire summer, but August had been a bit more tolerable thanks to you. So when you proposed that trip he said yes. He hoped he could get her out of his mind but it seemed impossible. Not even with you next to him to distract him.

“I hope we can see the Northern Lights?” you said looking at the sky with a hopeful sigh “It’s romantic”

“I’m afraid it’s a bit early for the Northern Lights” Ivar chuckled “But who knows… I’m not a very romantic person, though”

You looked at him with an eyebrow raised. You had seen him looking at Freydis, you had heard what he had done for her.

“I don’t believe that” you shrugged “I think everyone is romantic in their own way… Being romantic is not necessarily sending big bouquets of flowers every Friday, or organising a dinner with candles and rose petals on a Saturday, sometimes it’s just a simple gesture, or words”

“But sometimes a simple gesture or words are more difficult than a bouquet” he replied “Especially when you feel like you’re never good enough”

Your smile faded and you pouted, feeling your heart break for him.

“Who made you feel like you’re not good enough, Ivar?” you asked quietly, reaching to caress his hair softly. He didn’t move.

“Many people” he said with a sigh “When they leave me for someone better, or when no matter what I do that is never enough, when they couldn’t care less about me”

You frowned and stayed silent for a couple of minutes.

“I care about you” you said quietly “I wouldn’t leave if you don’t want me to, and no matter what you do it’s always enough” you smiled up at him, who looked taken aback “Don’t waste your time on people that don’t appreciate you”

Ivar gulped. He felt his eyes burning with tears but he refused to cry. He wished it was that easy.

“Don’t be sad” you pouted again “I want you to enjoy the rest of the summer”

Why do you care so much?, he wanted to ask. But then you stood up and closed the door to the compartment, locking it before drawing the curtains. And he knew exactly what you had in mind when you turned around with a shy smile. He thought it would be much easier if he could fall in love with you.

______________________________________________

August felt too short. Soon the days started to get shorter, and it rained more often. Suddenly you stopped going to the beach, and the university emails about the starting of the classes filled your inbox.

And Ivar stopped texting.

Finland had been a dream. It made you believe it could last, because for a few days it felt real. You didn’t hide on a harbour, or waited until everyone left the beach to sit on the sand. He kissed you, laughed with you, his fingers traced the lines of your new tattoo during the night, under the bedsheets of the cheap hotels you had booked. Those days were like a dream.

But dreams end too.

And suddenly you went from chasing Northern Lights to stare at your phone in silence, in the middle of the night waiting for a text, a call, anything that would calm your fears. He didn’t reply, didn’t call back. You saw Ubbe and Hvitserk on the bar a couple of times, but didn’t dare to ask them. You even went to the harbour a few times, waiting in case he’d appear from nowhere with a rational explanation. But he never did.

Sometimes you’d be angry, wanting nothing else than to send him a voice note or a huge text, but you always ended up deleting the whole thing before pressing send with the tears running down your face. Because at the end of the day, you could not lose someone who was never yours. And Ivar had never been yours, there was always something between the two of you that was impossible to ignore.

That first day of university you understood why.

Your friends were all back from their holidays, all tanned and with longer hair, new dresses and collars they had bought on those souvenir shops that are usually in front of the beaches. Maybe you should have been a bit jealous of them and their holidays around the world, but you wouldn’t change that summer with Ivar for anything else. In fact, you dreamed of leaving for a proper holiday with him one day. Maybe Italy, Greece or Spain…

They giggled around you, telling you stories about cute lifeguards, southern boys (and girls) with an accent and the best mojitos they had ever tried. You smiled with them, having missed them way more than you thought, until you spotted them in the parking lot.

Freydis was the first one. She jumped out of Hvitserk’s car laughing, and Ivar came out after her. He also had a big smile on his face, and said something before she giggled again, leaning in to kiss him.

Something inside you broke, and you couldn’t stop looking as they walked towards the main building. Hvitserk walked behind them, not looking very enthusiastic about Freydis’ return. But your eyes were glued to Ivar. Wishing he’d turn his head and look at you, acknowledge you at least, something that reassured you that what you lived that summer was real, even if it ended as quickly as it started.

He did look at you, his smile faded slowly when he finally spotted you, and you held back your breath until he looked away again.

“I heard she came back from Sweden not so long ago” your best friend spoke next to you, and you knew who she was talking about “She’s so pretty, it’s unfair”

“Yeah” you said softly. For some reason you didn’t feel the sadness you had been feeling since Ivar stopped talking to you. Instead you felt your eyes fill with tears of disappointment, which hurt even more.

“They do look cute together, Ivar is hot” she giggled “Maybe we’ll find something like that too, someday”

“I doubt that” you replied, thinking with your young innocence that you would never be able to love someone as much as you loved him. They entered the building then, and it was like seeing a door closing on your face, knowing it would probably never open again.

“Shall we get to class?” your friend, oblivious to your heartbreak, pointed at the hallway full of students.

“Yeah, I… I need to go to the toilet, save me a seat?” you replied, clearing your throat before taking a couple of steps towards the toilets.

“Sure, but don’t be late! It’s the first day” she winked at you and turned around, walking towards the classroom. You quickly entered the toilets, locking yourself in one of the stalls as the first tears started rolling down your cheeks, knowing you didn’t have much time because the classes were about to start, but relieved because at least you’d have a distraction.

The tears felt like fire on your skin, they burned and ruined the makeup you had put on that morning, hoping you’d see him and he’d give you one of his smiles, maybe cross that door with your hand on his. People would start talking but he couldn’t care less. It was the hope for that moment that kept you going for the entire summer. And you would have waited forever.

___________________________________________

Tags:  @mblaqgi​ @alicedopey​ @lol-haha-joke​ @hallowed-heathen​ @naaladareia​ @tephi101​ @captstefanbrandt​ @love-hate-love​ @titty-teetee​ @readsalot73​ @moondustmemories​ @thevikingsheaux​ @therealcalicali​ @chimera4plums​ @blushingskywalker​ @awkwardfangirl02 @gruffle1​ @justacripple​ @heartbeats-wildly​ @letsrunawaytotomorrow​ @inforapound​ @sallydelys​ @hellogabysblog​ @winchesterwife27​ @hecohansen31​ @youbloodymadgenius​ @xinyourdreamsx​ @funmadnessandbadassvikings​ @eteramfools​ @tgrrose​ @flokidottirsstuff  @lovessce​ @tootie-fruity​ @didiintheblog​ @alexhandersenx​ @belovedcherry​ @fantasydevil2002​​ @xceafh​​ @astrape-the-weatherwitch​​ @destynelseclipsa​ @katarokkar11 @momowhoo​​ @heavenly1927​​ @mcrmarvelloki​​ @nanahachikyuu​​ @valopz​​ @zuxiezendler​​ @heavenly1927​​ @dini73​​ @loveforreading​​ @southernbe​ @smears-and-spots​ @natalielbeauty​ @mrsalwayswrite​ 

my taglists are a mess! I’m sorry if I fucked the Ivar taglist up😭 just let me know if you want to be tagged or if you want me to delete you from the taglist!

[spaghettificationandpretzels]

Sp's fluffiest Smutfest Masterlist

You will not be able to read anything on this list without all your community labels turned to show.

Smut💦 Angst😨 Fluff ❤ Violence🔪 Gore🤢 Medical💉 Triggering material🚩

A roll in the Hay💦❤

Falling off the bed with Juice Ortiz. Requested by @darqchilddaydreamz

****

Burning the Midnight Oil💦❤

Sleepy sex with Manny. Requested by @jvalentinesworld-cokes-hyna

****

Spring Lemonade💦❤

Porch swing shenanigans with Lyla Winston. Requested by @lady-telford

****

By the Babbling Brooke 💦❤

"Let's get you out of those wet clothes" with Ivar the Boneless. Requested by @barnes-lothbrok

****

Snowed in 💦❤❤❤

Sex by the fire with Raymond Smith. Request by @youflickedtooharddamnit

****

Wedding Night💦❤

First time after getting married with Pete Dunham. Requested by @thesirenrealm

****

Weakness💦❤

Accidental tickling caught with Happy Lowman. Requested by @withmyteeth

****

Fun and Pasty💦❤

"Who's turn is it to get the snacks?" With Manny and Angel. Requested by @camelia35

****

Afternoon Sun💦❤

Porch swing shenanigans with Raymond Smith. Requested by @rayslittlekitten

****

Cotton and Lace💦❤

First time as a couple with Jax Teller. Requested by @yourwinchesterbros

****

Dinner and a Dance💦❤

First time as a couple with Chibs Telford. Requested by @chibsisadream

[miss-madness67]

The Mistress Ch.26 - YORK

Thirst for blood is in his nature, and she has to understand that.

Despite the days passing by, I still think about it. I ponder over what happened with Alfred. So much changed between us when people learned of our affair. So much changed between us since we met. We were two children that knew nothing about life back then. And it all developed into something… messy. The sorrow of those days follows me everywhere I go, the remainder that grows in my womb is unavoidable. I am having his child, and there is no way I will be able to forget our past. Some part of me hates it, but another one, probably the biggest, does not mind at all. My adoration for Alfred is not something that can be easily overridden, and despite this child being a bastard, I know I will love him all the same. It is the symbol of our unattainable passion. And yet, I do not think I have it in me to go back to him. Even if it was unintentional, which I learned was not the case, I do not want to be a mistress again, not even a King’s mistress. It has nothing to do with the propriety of the situation within the court, it is just my heart that cannot stand looking at the man I love being with another. The whispers of my position followed me everywhere I went. Here, among the enemy, I am no longer filthy in their eyes, even if it is only because they do not know the truth. Ever since running from him, I have never felt freer from judgment.

Now, learning that Alfred played a key role in turning me into a mistress is something entirely different. That is where the part of me that resents him comes from. He planned everything. To some degree, I would like to see him, so I could hear whatever he has to say that made him believe turning me into his mistress was a good idea. I had never asked for that, and running to the nunnery proved that I would have never chosen it. During my sleepless nights, I talk to Egadyd about it. I tell her what I went through and my unhappiness. She listens, but I know she has her own demons to deal with. Mainly the fact that she is about to become a mother with no husband. The father of her child is dead, and according to her, I should be glad that mine is not. Though it is useless either way. As a future mother, I should not be selfish and go back to Alfred at the first opportunity I have. Even if it is a bastard’s life, he could provide what I can not, but I do not want to live that way again.

“I need to know,” I interrupt Ivar’s thoughts. He looks up at me from where he’s sitting at the other end of the table. “What are you going to do with me?”

Continue reading

Tags: @youbloodymadgenius @cdauni @justsomecreaturewandering

[procrastinatingsoicanreadfanfics]

Vikings (TV) Masterlist

my requests for vikings are currently partially OPEN! please only request imagines, and not oneshots. for those waiting for a continuation of ‘searching home’ or ‘unexpected’ i am so sorry... finishing those two is going to take me a while :/

hmu/msg me to be added to a taglist!

main masterlist | request guidelines

heorte til heorte

(msg me to be added to the taglist!)

relationship: athelstan x alethia stahl (oc) | summary: alethia wanted to go home, to return to her family. instead, she finds herself in ninth-century england. not speaking the language, and still processing the grief of her other life, she searches for an anchor - athelstan. | tags: angst, fluff, timetravel

masterlist | preview | read on ao3

No romantic relationships // character x character

Queendom - relationship: Lagertha x Aslaug | summary: They’ve both loved and they’ve both lost. Perhaps it was time that their hearts warmed again. | tags: angst, fluff

The Lothbroks, aka, the European version of the Kardashians - relationships: none | summary: When Barbie Murray time travels, she finds out that pink isn’t available in Viking times. Luckily, her new besties all understand that boobs are the best and slay (literally?!) with her. | tags: crack, fluff, timetravel

I may be a bimbo, but I’m not stupid - relationships: slight oc/ oc | summary: Ivar kills Sigurd in a fit of rage, but Barbie isn't so quick to forgive cruelness. | tags: angst, crack, timetravel

1st gen Vikings

Strange Woman  relationship: Rollo x timetraveler!reader | summary: The woman that appeared out of nowhere could be oh so dangerous, but even a stupid man would know that she was fascinating. | tags: fluff, timetravel

Friend of Thor - relationship: rollo x timetraveler!asgardian!reader | summary: The reader, a fellow Asgardian and friend of Thor and the new King of Asgard, Brunnhilde, falls through worlds as the new guardian of the Bifrost tampers with the magic. | tags: crack, fluff, timetravel

And the Gods wished they were me - relationship: Judith x viking!gn!reader | summary: Judith knows she should not mourn Athelstan. Nor should she even look at Norse heathens. She does both anyway, because Judith was named after a woman that had only rage and death, and she cannot escape her fate. | tags: angst, fluff

Ubbe Ragnarsson

Another day / part 2 - relationship: Ubbe x reader | prompt: we live to fight another day. | tags: angst

Oldest - relationship: Ubbe x timetraveler!reader; platonic!Ivar x reader | summary:  It seems that few things change about being the oldest sibling, no matter which place – or time | tags: fluff, timetravel, slight angst

Yggdrasil relationship: Ubbe x reader; platonic!Ivar x reader; dad!Harald x reader | summary:  How can you tell your father what happened to you when he’d done it to so many others. | tags: angst, dark/gory

Hvitserk 'Whiteshirt' Ragnarsson

Hvitserksdottir - relationship: Hvitserk x reader | prompt: “I think we need to talk about the fact that I’m in love with you and also that I’m pregnant.” | tags: angst, fluff

Floki’s Cabin - relationship: Hvitserk x reader | prompt: “Just trust me. Please. | tags: angst

Searching Home / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 - relationships: Hvitserk x reader; Ivar x reader | summary: When you stumble upon the ancient Spanish city of Algeciras, it takes you some time to realize that you’ve traveled through time. While that is terrible luck, a merchant couple takes you in. But your peace only lasts so long. | tags: angst, fluff, dark/gory, timetravel

Neither - relationship: genderfluid!reader x Hvitserk | Summary: Hvitserk finds out about genderfluidity and accepts he might not be completely straight | tags: fluff, timetravel

Law of conservation - relationship: Hvitserk x reader | summary: You’ve been working as a tutor at your high school for about a year now. When your parents throw a barbecue party for your new neighbors, their mother Aslaug asks you to tutor her son Hvitserk, who is already a notorious flirt at his school. | tags: fluff

Sandcastles - relationship: platonic!hvitserk x timetraveler!reader | summary: reader builds sandcastles, Ivar doesn’t get it and Hvitserk loves the idea of it | tags: fluff, timetravel

When in Bali... -  relationships: hvitserk x reader, ivar x freydís, sigurd x oc | summary: You were supposed to go to Bali with your partner for your one-year anniversary. Instead, you’re there alone, heartbroken. Will reuniting with a friend you know from a summer vacation in elementary school be able to fix it? | tags: fluff

Ivar 'the Boneless' Ragnarsson

Unholy Matrimony - A Sham in Four Acts / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 - relationship: Ivar x reader | prompt: I’ve learnt to love you. | tags: angst, fluff smut

Insatiable Little Heathens  - relationship: ivar x reader | summary: drabble, for all of y’all who wanted more of Unholy Matrimony | tags: fluff

Resolve - relationship: ivar x reader | summary: Ivar’s legs hurt but he’s so fucking thickheaded | tags: fluff

My kind of witch - relationship: ivar x reader | summary: You wake up in an unfamiliar bed. The man with blazing blue eyes fascinates you as soon as you see him and as you realize the struggles he faces every day, your admiration for him grows into something more. | tags: fluff, timetravel

Red - relationship: ivar x reader | summary: Ivar finally meets his match. | tags: smut, dark/gory

Serve - relationship: sub!ivar x buff!reader | summary: Ivar keeps teasing you. You finally have enough and give him a taste of his own medicine | tags: smut

Searching home / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 -  relationships: Hvitserk x reader; Ivar x reader |  summary: When you stumble upon the ancient Spanish city of Algeciras, it takes you some time to realize that you’ve traveled through time. While that is terrible luck, a merchant couple takes you in. But your peace only lasts so long. | tags: angst, fluff, smut, dark/gory, timetravel

Totally artistic -  relationship: ivar x reader | summary: When inspiration hits, you can’t stop it | tags: fluff

Sandcastles - relationship: platonic!hvitserk, ivar x timetraveler!reader | summary: reader builds sandcastles, Ivar doesn’t get it and Hvitserk loves the idea of it | tags: fluff, timetravel

Brother - relationships: ivar x reader, hvitserk & reader, reader & oc | summary: You left your home and your brother behind for a reason. Now, a man is causing trouble at the borders of Kattegat, and as Ivar's queen, you take justice into your own hands. | tags: fluff

Unexpected / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 - relationship: ivar x thrall!reader | summary: Ivar finally decides to fuck the slave he’s been eyeing for so long, but when his angry side slips out, things take a turn for the wholly unexpected. | tags: smut

Tarot -  relationships: ivar x reader, hvitserk & reader | summary: Your day at the fair has been pretty slow – until a client like no other shows up. | tags: fluff

Imagines

How the Vikings would react to an accidental time traveler and a quiz to see if you’d survive: https://uquiz.com/dVXpgW

Ragnarssons (+Gyda): First Kiss

Social Media 

How the Vikings would react to guns and snapchat filters 

How the Vikings would react to modern dancing 

How the Vikings would react to modern music, and what they’d like

How the Vikings would react to modern concepts of astronomy and space 

How the Vikings react to modern haircare 

Vikings and Astrology

How Vikings would react to THEM timetraveling

Vikings + getting sick 

Vikings + Halloween 

Vikings + realizing you’re pregnant

Vikings characters + how they'd react to finding Accidental Time Traveler crying somewhere and not knowing why 

Vikings + you on your period  (+ more hcs about Ivar)

Vikings + Legos

Vikings + reader being much less stressed in their time

Vikings + single mother

Vikings + Gender Neutral Thor

Vikings + modern food

Vikings + touch avoidant cuddler

Vikings + Kids

Vikings + their history

Ragnarssons + being possesive

Vikings + Maleficent/Fae!reader

Vikings + curls and afros

Vikings + sleeping habits

Vikings + contortionist/super flexible reader

Vikings as modern!uni students

Vikings + affectionate drunk!reader

timetraveling!Vikings + modern tv/movies

Vikings + gen z slang

Vikings + curly haired kids

timetraveling!Vikings + Christmas

Vikings + eras other than their own

Vikings + ivar being remembered/famous

[barnes-lothbrok]

Mermaid Tears

Here’s a list for jumbled nonsense.  Ivar x OC When Björn and Ubbe return from exploring the Mediterranean Sea, they return with proof of a legend from childhood tales and forgotten memories. From the moment Ivar sees her, he is infatuated.

Mermaid Tears

Prologue 

Part 1

Part 2 

Part 3 

Part 4

Final Part - in the works