#ive always found it fun doing the like layers of red and whatever

[black-and-yellow]

[inflashback]

all the ones you want to do 👀

well, here’s everything except the ones i’ve answered, you asked for it

theyre mostly about my youngmabel au, which i will ramblr about for free if anyones interested :’)

What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

i’ve, for a really really long time, wanted to write like. a scene where laura kinney and henry sutter Talk Their Shit Out, but that would take so so long and i’m not motivated... sorry laura and henry. okay i think the rest of these will b about mabel but. gotta stick with my idiots.

Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

this is from my young mabel story !!

“[Mabel] stops banging her head when she feels a stab of anxiety slash through her stomach. It’s not hers, that much is obvious-- it’s a soft golden feeling, the nerves, the-- 

The girl in the front of her mind, with hair cut just below her ears. Small scatterings of pimples across her face. She has a smile without sharp teeth; she cracks her knuckles when she’s bored or needs to fidget; she owns a pair of overalls she wears at least twice a week in the summer, when she’s in the mood to run around the fields outside her home, barefoot, with a friend or a girlfriend, when she wants to smoke a cigarette or two (she’d kicked the habit exactly three weeks ago today, she’s really proud of herself and her sister is, too), her sister’s name is Mónica and her name is Anna, Anna, Anna, Anna, Anna--

Anna Limon, Anna Limon, Anna Limon.”

the reverance to which mabel says anna’s name has always Hit Me for personal reasons and this scene i think is good. that is all

What character that you’re writing do you most identify with?

right now? either vera or mabel. vera is... not Right, and not Wanted by the outside world, so she’s angry and stupid to combat it. and mabel just... loves Her Person more than anything in the world, so there’s that. 

What character do you have the most fun writing?

again, mabel!! she’s so fun and angry all the time and it’s so freeing to just be able to do whatever the hell you WANT with a character

What do you think are the characteristics of your personal writing style? Would others agree?

Uh!! I think i use a lot of metaphor and write a lot of physical affection :’) i’m not sure if others would agree but that’s pretty basic!!

Is what you like to write the same as what you like to read?

yeah...

Are you more of a drabble or a longfic kind of writer? Pantser or plotter? 

i write a lot of drabbles, but my proudest works are my long fic!!! i also plot way too much and i love to do it.

Do you wish you were the other?

i have no idea what this means but... yeah i guess? How would you describe your writing process?

pace around my entire house looping one (1) song thinking of one (1) scene. figure out exactly what it would take to get the characters to that point. write like 2000 words, fall asleep, cant make words for the next three years.

What do you envy in other writers?

oh god, everything. i don’t know how to make my words flow like certain people do, RIVER

Do you want your writing to be famous?

god no. my stories are mine.

Do you share your writing online? (Drop a link!) Do you have projects you’ve kept just for yourself?

yes! here! there’s one story i’ve only shared with two people and that’s my borderline-ridiculous ‘beetlejuice with lab rats and gay shit and werewolves’ au, it’s the most self indulgent thing i’ve ever written and i love it so much.

At what point in writing do you come up with a title?

usually while listening to songs!! fr example my most recent posted fic is a lyric from ‘cop car’ by mitski because the line ‘i get mean when i’m nervous / like a bad dog’ makes me think of mabel, thus that fic came into existence.

Which is harder: titles or summaries (or tags)?

SUMMARIES i hate summaries usually i just paste in whatever i’ve got as the first sentence.

Tried anything new with your writing lately? (style, POV, genre, fandom?)

not really? new fandom but. i got my bread and butter, dude, i don’t feel like branching out. writing’s just a hobby i’m okay at.

Do you think readers perceive your work - or you - differently to you? What do you think would surprise your readers about your writing or your motivations?

i don’t think so !! like some of the stuff is personal and you can’t really understand from an outside POV, but. most of it is just dorky found family stuff!

Do any of your stories have alternative versions? (plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations?) Tell us about them.

oh dear god yes... i mean. obvs river youre asking this youre aware of my aus. but i have a billion aus, theyre my favorite thing to write and ive got at least three for every fandom i’m in. i have an au for my lab rat beetlejuice au, too, which i’ll get around to writing someday.

Is there something you always find yourself repeating in your writing? (favourite verb, something you describe ‘too often’, trope you can’t get enough of?)

ALL I DO IS DESCRIBE PEOPLE’S TEETH AND PHYSICAL AFFECTION. uhh i use the phrase ‘bared their teeth / had far too many teeth / smiled with too many teeth’ a lot, its because i find it the easiest descriptor for monsters and i like to write about monsters.

Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

ohh god okay youngmabel take three. anna wears soft reds and lots of layers-- to contrast mabel, who wears a thin nightgown and has a bright green color palette. this is largely because mabel has been made to show herself to everyone who’s tried to control her (sally, aurora silver, etc) while anna hides in herself. anna specifically wears one of mónica’s old sweaters, because she can hide and protect herself with her family, while mabel cant. also i love mónica im so hype to have her in the series. mabel also repeats things in groups of threes (”hello, hello, hello, anna, hello, hello, hello”) because she’s fae. i love her. ough and i cant wait for the character development you guys rnt ready fr this dumb series

What other medium do you think your story would work well as? (film, webcomic, animated series?)

I WOULD LOVE FR IT TO BE AN ANIMATED SERIES but also it as a film would rock.... yeahhhhh

Do you reread your old works? How do you feel about them?

my xmen ones, yeah. they’re really comforting for me. i feel like i wanna give my kid self a big big hug.

What’s the story idea you’ve had in your head for the longest?

probs the daemons au or the agents of shield / xmen crossover.. those both gave baby abbey a lot of fun hours.

Would you say your writing has changed over time?

yeah! ive gotten better i think

OKAY RAMBLE OVER THANKS RIV

[zallafic]

What a Change

Fandom: Underfell

Trigger warning: Fat Shaming, Body Imagine

It was always a competition between the two. And the gym just made it much worse, between the labeled weights and the machines that told you just how far or how fast or how strong you were pushing against them. Undye and Papyrus just shouted each new milestone at each other, to the point the gym staff had to threaten them with either being kicked out or to shut up. Thankfully they resorted to texting any more insults at each other.

You knew that if this wasnt the only gym in the area that let monsters have memberships then they would be long gone. Hell you might have left a long time ago when they were at their rowdiest, but with the membership so cheap you didnt want to pass up such a deal.

And really? You knew that if you cancelled this one you werent going to a different one. You barely dragged yourself here each and everytime. You were young enough that it wasnt affecting your health yet, or at least you thought so. But after finally being labeled obese by a doctor your body imagine of yourself tanked. It was an awful, painful feeling of being disgusted with yourself.

And thats why you were here, but every mirror in the gym seemed to highlight each giggle and fat bounce your body did as you worked out. Well after stopping a few work out early you figured out being fully clothed stopped that. It make you look bigger and more desprate, and you overheated faster. But no pain no gain?

Just bring more bottles for water and tough it out. You told yourself, maybe one day you could do one of those big reveals to your family and friends of shedding all these extra clothing layers revealing a skinnier and sexier version of yourself. The thought helped you push a little harder each time even if you started getting dizy.

Looking back it was fun to watch these two monsters fight over who could go faster, lift more, push harder. It also distracted you from watching yourself in the mirror, which was always welcome. You also quickly learned their names, Papyrus and Undye. And how they never stopped bickering, but even with headphones in you found yourself hearing a lot of what they were yelling about.

Until they were forced to text each other. Now that didnt stop the yelling, sometimes they would just yell each others name or curse each other but it wasnt enough to get them kicked out. Because well... They kept bring in new memberships. You were pretty sure the whole "Guard" had one now. And whatever human memberships were lost they would make up in monster ones.

As interesting as it all way you didnt want to be noticed, take the furthest machine from all of them and just keep your head down. You werent here to be social, you just wanted to like yourself again. And pushing yourself even harder worked great as a distraction. Even feeling like passing out or too dizy to read the screen on the machine helped calm you. It made you feel like you really were getting somewhere. That you really could push yourself to do this. That reveal you would do felt even better in your head as your finally slowed down to a stop.

It was kind of euphoric to be this exhausted and leaning back to chug water you could hear the monster group talking.

"REALLY NOW? IVE DEAD LIFTED EVERYTHING IN THIS GYM THAT ISNT TIED DOWN ALREADY."

"Yeah well what about that one over there?"

You could feel one of the guard and the skeleton look over to you. But just ingored them as you tried to regain your vision from being so dizy. You still had another round to go before heading out for the day. Looking at your empty water bottle you had a feeling if you moved towards the water fountain you might just leave. So without bothering to just desided to do your last round without any. You could easily get caught up on your water at home.

"Hey are you really talking about that human?" Undye asked as she stopped her last rep for the moment. The guard turned to her and spoke up.

"yeah Cap doesnt want to try and lift the fat human."

"I NEVER SAID THAT, I JUST DONT SEE THE POINT."

Undye looked over papyrus and the guard then over to the human. They had always minded their own business so she got the same feeling as paps with there being no point in bothering them.

"man cap, undye can lift her fat girlfriend and you cant even lift some human?" The guardsman was given dirty looks by both the skeleton and the fish lady. Undye realizing they were just trying to start some competition again between the two.

"Hey paps lets just-"

"FINE. WHO WOULDNT WANT TO BE SWEPT OFF THEIR FEET BY THE GREAT PAPYRUS?"

The fish lady tried reaching out but the skeleton marched right over to you. You turned to focus on working out and hoped that the headphones blasting in your ears would deter the skeleton from talking to you.

But he grabbed you by the arm and you looked up to see his giant form next to you.

"LARGE HUMAN, LET ME GRACE YOU WITH MY STRENGHT BY LIFTING YOU FOR ALL THESE FOOLS TO SEE!"

Stunned you just stared at him in shock, you didnt even pull away.

"CRAZY I KNOW BUT DO NOT WORRY YOUR FATNESS WILL NOT DETER ME AND I SHALL-"

With your free hand you smacked him as hard as you could across the face.

The fish lady grabbed the skeleton from behind and pulled him off of you. But you could already feel tears running down your brighting red, sweaty checks. You just left your machine on and emtpy water bottles and left. Not caring how you could hear out the fish was giving the skeleton an earful about how you cant say this or that. It didnt matter anyway, you were fat and thats how they saw you.

Continue?

Reply below or give it a like if interested. The reader is going to have to return to the gym and face the group at some point.

[neverwatchedonepiece]

609-610: "Luffy Dies from Exposure?! The Spine Chilling Snow Woman Monet" and "Fists Collide! a Battle of the Two Vice Admirals!"

Surrounded by trash, unsure of location or direction. Too real, Luffy. Too real.

I feel like a broken record at the moment but Punk Hazard really is delivering.

Across 609 and 610, we had Law vs Vergo with a surprise interruption by Smoker. Caesar was the subject of unexpected character development. Even Luffy vs Monet had a twist, with Luffy falling into a trash compactor and meeting a tiny talking dragon.

I bet that’s Foxfire’s son. The little dragon had a kid’s voice.

I’m just glad the big dragon the Strawhats roasted wasn’t Momonosuke (@mrkashkiet, I am looking at you sternly. xD)

Law Just Cannot Quit Smoking

And does not want to.

The action picked up with Vergo hoofing it to the SAD Room. Speed lines ahoy!

Inside, Law slowly drew his sword in front of a vast tank of SAD Gas. Not sure what he was planning to do, but let’s not dwell on it, in case his plan was literally explosive.

Vergo appeared at the door. “I feel like my hand has been bitten by my own dog. This is too much even for a mischievous child. You were always too smart for your own good. People like you tend to die young.”

You know, I’m not keen on stoic villain types but I’ve got to admit that Vergo has some killer lines.

“It would be easiest to crush your heart but I won’t do that. I’ll torment you slowly as I please and warp your smart ass face with fear.”

Like I said, good lines.

He wailed on Law with grim purpose to the point I found myself shouting, “Come on, Law! ROOM YOURSELF OUT OF THERE!”  Law was not having a fun time. (Dare I say, he was SAD?)

But his instinct for shit-talking was irrepressible. “Are you guys frustrated because your scheme is coming crashing down? Is this thing that important to you?”

Well, yeah... If Caesar is *the only person* who can make whatever it is that Doflamingo wants, then SAD must be profitable. Profits before pals seems to be Doflamingo’s modus operandi, but I don’t get the feeling Law is all that surprised Vergo is trying to kill him.

Law did fight back. There was an attempt.  He tried to Room his heart back. But Vergo is fast and snatched Law’s heart from the air.

The worst thing, though? Vergo punched Law so hard he lost his hat. That is not cool. It must have riled Law enough for him to try his (awesome) Counter Shock attack. It was big, flashy and high voltage, but it only left Vergo lightly toasted.

Vergo must have decided to kill Law then because he said, “I have a message from Joker. He said, ‘What a shame.’”

Law was weirdly zen about the whole situation. “Oh, well. It didn’t work. I was pretty sure I could take my heart back from Caesar, but I didn’t expect you here, Vergo.”

The lack of -san honorific was the last straw for Vergo. He squeezed Law’s heart like a stress ball. Toei’s red filter descended. Soul-shredding pain was experienced. Law screamed a lot. As you would if your heart was being squeezed by a maniac.

Then, a shaft of light descended from the vaulted heavens.

Except not really because it was Smoker.

It’s almost the same thing.

Vergo was typically cool about the interruption. “I’m in the middle of something. Does it have to be now, Vice-Admiral Smoker?”

And I did a backflip. Yes. Excellent interruption. Great timing, Smoker! Now stop being so fixated on the Big Tanks That Go “Blort” and execute your glorious revenge!

Really, now I think about it, Vergo is almost as bad as Caesar. When Smoker called Vergo out on his deceit and told him not to tell the G5 Men as he was a father figure to them, Vergo said, “Don’t tell me you actually care about those guys? I’m a base commander. I can do whatever I want to my no-good subordinates.” Another one who treats other people as disposable pawns.

Unsurprisingly, Smoker and Vergo came to blows. Smoker seems to be having more luck than Law, but then Vergo does not have Smoker’s heart in a box. What I’d like to happen is Smoker retrieving Law’s heart and they tag-team Vergo into oblivion.

That sounded wrong. But you get what I mean.

Star Wars Episode IV: A New Rubbery Hope

How did Luffy end up in the Death Star’s trash compactor? 

His battle with a bird woman from Hoth went south. Literally.

And I cannot believe I am about to say this, but I kind of wish Luffy’s fight with Monet was a little bit longer. Her powers are great. Her self-awareness and cunning are too.

She maintained those ten layer kamakura walls without breaking a sweat. When Luffy smashed one layer, she wrapped another around her frozen prison without missing a beat. Luffy knew she was stalling for time and said he’d just break every layer quicker than she could replace them.

“I bet,” she said. Then swept up behind Luffy and, in an oddly flirty manner, whispered in his ear, “I don’t think I’ll win if I fight you, but the strongest isn’t always the winner in a fight.”

Then she grabbed him and wrapped him, literally, in winter’s embrace. 

That hypothermia power was quite cool (no pun intended). Paired with those desolate, snowy vistas and her eerily calm voice urging Luffy to let go, to sleep, relax and let it be, Monet’s Devil Fruit seems pretty strong to me.

But just as Luffy was about to pass out, Zoro’s voice - the very warning he yelled at Luffy a couple of episodes ago - cut through the darkness. “THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING OF THE NEW WORLD!”

I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of the blue filtered haki moments. When he sprang up and let loose that Jet Spear attack, I cheered.

Then he fell through the floor into a garbage chute and I laughed.

It was cool, though. He’s rubber. He’d bounce. And sure enough, it wasn’t long before he was raking through broken gadgets for food. At which point a tiny dragon spoke to him and that is where the story ended.

I am now 75% sure that tiny dragon is Momonosuke. It had a kid’s voice. Probably should be a higher percentage than that but I like to hedge my bets, haha.

Chopper Looks Like Every Harried Substitute Teacher Ever

While Luffy was readjusting to life in a trash compactor with a small talking dragon, Monet flapped away to tick off another box on the never ending to do list: securing the Addicted Experiment Kiddies.

Said kiddies were knocking lumps out of Chopper with their ferocious addict strength. He could not restrain them without hurting them. He tried to convince them not to eat the candy. “I know it’s hard but you have to endure it!”

The thing is, Chopper was dealing with a double helping of trouble here. Not only are they kids, who are naturally more self-centred due to their developing brains. They are also addicts who are so far down the rabbit hole of whatever drug Caesar was peddling they’ll do anything for a fix.

When Chopper’s rumble ball wore off, the kids trampled him and thundered straight for the Biscuit Room, where Mocha was waiting alone.

Luckily, he was picked up by Nami, Zoro, Usopp, Robin, Brook and Foxfire. (Do not remember Brownbeard hanging around. Did he leave or did he just not have any lines?) 

Robin tried to restrain the kids. That was interesting for two reasons: one, I didn’t know Robin could feel damage sustained by her extra hands, and two, she asked Usopp and Brook to try and find a pair of Sea Prism Stone cuffs because Luffy had asked her to. (I bet his plan is to cuff Caesar!)

The kids charged Mocha, who tried to tell them the candy was evil! Then Monet whirled into the room on a frosty zephyr. (The best part of this entrance was when Usopp shouted: “I TOLD YOU THERE WAS A BIRD WOMAN!” He was finally vindicated.) 

Yay, thought Mocha. It’s Monet-san. She’s lovely!

Nooooope. Monet told her, in a sweet, ever-so-reasonable voice that it wasn’t nice to keep all the candy for herself. Mocha should share it with the others, like always. Mocha’s little face when she sensed betrayal was just heart-wrenching. “Why?” she whispered.

Because Monet is a nasty piece of work just like Caesar? Just a thought.

Not sure what’s going to happen here. There are a *lot* of Strawhats in the room, so I’m guessing Monet will be defeated by them. Then they’ll push through, deliver the cuffs and - BAM - we have one angry, kidnapped scientist. 

Sanji Acquires Unexpected Fans

This was a short scene but the fact that Sanji has a cadre of devoted fans in the G5 is hilarious. Yeah, he claims he doesn’t want their approval. And he probably doesn’t.

But Sanji cannot stop himself running back to save the poor saps who can be saved.

This is the Sanji I like: surly on the outside with a golden heart on the inside. More, please!

And the Academy Award for Best Actor goes to . . .

CAESAR CLOWN!

Seriously.

The yarns this guy can spin could crush the GDP of a small textile-dependent country.

Caesar should run for office somewhere. Then he could appoint himself head of the science department.

For that is exactly what has been bugging him for years, it seems. He wants Vegapunk’s job.

Well... maybe not the job. (He’s getting by just fine thanks to pirates. A Government job would ruin that). It’s the fame and kudos. That’s what he’s after.

Plus he has a weird goal: to achieve world peace by obliterating all sources of conflict - collateral damage be damned. Unless he’s lying about that. Given his oscar-winning performance, that would not surprise me.

The action picked up with Caesar caesaring through a pipe and landing outside the Secret Room (I laughed when I realised everyone on Punk Hazard literally calls it the Secret Room).

He was bitching about having to enter the room because it was Vegapunk’s old office. Still, he claimed it was the only place where he could “pull it off”. (I am unsure why he had to go to Vegapunk’s old office just to close some doors, but I’ll chalk it up to plot and say no more.)

He promised to make Luffy, the Strawhats, G5 and Trafalgar Law pay for ruining his plan. It was all their fault! The experiment could have been a great show - everything perfect and beautiful and befitting of the world’s greatest scientist (Vegapunk says hi!) But they screwed it up. He couldn’t let the Strawhats do as they liked. They’d pushed it a little too far and he has Joker on his back now.

He ordered a minion to close the gates to Buildings C and D. This would lure all survivors into one narrow room. His plan? Trap them in the bottleneck and pump the room full of his poison gas through the air vents. He would broadcast it as a snuff movie for the brokers. That would show them what he was really made of!

But the minions hang on his every word and they caught one small discrepancy.

“Um... did you say that *you* had created the poison gas, Master?”

Caesar’s haughty reply was, “Yes, I did.”

“But it’s like Vegapunk’s gas. It freaks us out.” Understandably, the minions probably have ptsd from four years ago.

The moment when Caesar realised he’d let his ego run away with him and opened his big mouth was glorious. How could he spin this? How? The animators did a great job here. You could see the evil, conniving cogs turning in his mind. 

Then he broke out his Oscar winning performance. 

“This is . . . an avenging battle of science. My people! That day, I tried to stop the mad scientist, Vegapunk. No! If such a weapon exploded, what would happen to the people on the island?” Caesar even threw in a melodramatic “YAMEROOOOO, VEGAPUNK!” for some extra emotional sparkle.

“But the accident happened. And he still lords if over us as the head of the science department of the Marines. and he’s considered the world’s greatest scientist. I cannot tolerate it! He’s the cruel man who hurt you all! Do you think it’s right that people still call him the number one scientist? That’s why I want to prove them all wrong. I didn’t want to make a weapon of mass destruction! But I want to show them that there is a greater scientist here. That I am the greatest scientist in the world! When the Marines acknowledge it and when I become head of the science department, my dream will come true. I can use my scientific knowledge to bring peace to the world!”

I honestly had to stop myself giving Caesar a standing ovation. What a performance that was.

You know, it’s weird. Every lie Caesar told there has a basis in truth. That’s the most dangerous liar right there because the lies they tell are more believable. Does the Gas-Gas Fruit confer gaslighting powers too? Because Caesar is a hellishly efficient manipulator.

And while Caesar was congratulating himself, a flashback happened!

Caesar is Prime Material for /r/IAmVerySmart

Caesar with a bob was weird. I’m guessing when he moved to Punk Hazard, there was a lack of stylists, so he just grew his hair out. That hair you see right now? That is four years of growth.

At any rate, Caesar was doing something a bit more important back in Vegapunk’s lab. He was debating morality with some other scientists. They begged him to stop his experiment. If it exploded, it would kill everyone on the island. 

Caesar was typically receptive to criticism. “STFU, boneheads! Where do you think you are? This is a Marine research facility. They want to kill as many pirates as the can. What they need is a weapon that will do it for them.”

“But they don’t want one that will also kill civilians!”

Caesar’s rebuttal? “It’s called collateral damage! If we blow away everything, we can bring peace to the world.” (Does he genuinely believe that? That’s a properly depressing view of the world he holds there, if true.)

“You’re so...”

Caesar had a, “I’m gonna stop you right there” moment. They wanted to say he was cruel? What a joke. They were using prisoners as guinea pigs as if they were trash. What was the difference? (Fair point, Caesar.) Moreover, Admiral Sengoku was too soft, but Akainu, if he was in charge, *he* would want a weapon Caesar made. (Also interesting. I hope Caesar never decides to change sides again. He would be dangerous in Akainu’s hands.)

He went off on one about how Vegapunk had failed to turn people into giants again. Caesar knows you can’t turn people into giants in a short period of time unless you use magic, so had suggested Vegapunk just kidnap some kids and feed them drugs until something worked. What a lovely idea, Caesar! xD

The flash forward revealed Caesar’s “William Birkin Moment”.

Just as he made a significant discovery, Marines burst in and cuffed him with sea prism stone. Vegapunk himself came to see off his old colleague. I was ONE HUNDRED PERCENT HYPED for about half a second. But there was no face. 

Blue balled. Again. xD

Caesar was summarily dismissed from the Science Department. “Your eccentric behaviour is intolerable and I cannot protect you anymore, Caesar.”

Interesting that what the rest of the scientists did was viewed as fine and dandy, but Caesar taking it a step further was regarded as “eccentric”. First off, eccentric is a gross understatement. Secondly, what they’re doing is pretty evil too. Caesar is just overtly, unashamedly amoral. They hide it better.

Suffering such a humiliation, Caesar had his “SCREW YOU!” moment and pushed the big red button. Punk Hazard went up in a Mighty Kaboom-Boom Cloud. 

Still wondering how they all survived that, but I will chalk it up to plot and say no more.

Of course, after Caesar’s theatrics, his minions fell over themselves to apologise. Sorry, Master! You are the saviour, after all.

“Thank you... thank you all,” Caesar simpered, while inside he called them unintelligent fools. So easily manipulated. Dumb as bricks.

This guy needs taking down several pegs. Maybe an entire cloakroom rack.

Luffy, please oblige asap.

Caesar tells a rip-roaring, thigh-slapper of a yo momma joke. 

(No one laughed.)

[ilytuan]

Warmth 「yugyeom」

genre ›  fluff ︱ domestic boyfriend!au

pairing › reader ︱ yugyeom

word count ›  2,034

warning › none

synopsis › #NoOneElseButYugyeomDay

Yugyeom rubbed his tired eyes, trying to rid any traces of sleep from his face that was unwashed and long due for a shave. He blinked at your message, wondering if there was any hidden meaning behind it. Was today a special day?

He scratched his already dishevelled hair, messing it up further as he tried to think of any important dates or anniversaries with you. None. He brushed it off, maybe you just had innocent intentions and missed him? The more he thought about it, he realised he missed you too and he tried to remember when the last time he saw you was. A month ago? Or maybe even longer.

The message you sent him asking to go on a date had come from nowhere, and Yugyeom knew you were away on a trip with your friends from college at the moment, so he wondered where you found the time to be able to hang out with him. Even though you were dating, you almost never spent much time out on dates. There weren’t many chances for you two to hang out, so he wasn’t going to turn down the date by any means, but he was slightly sceptical of what you had planned. The fact that it was his birthday completely slipped his mind as he began to make himself presentable enough to go out.

A message tone broke his train of thought while he was brushing his teeth. He ignored it, figuring it was one of the members trying to bother him or ask him for a ride somewhere, but then another one came. And another. Until he finally grew frustrated and picked up his phone, ready to snap at whoever it was. He was just trying to brush his teeth peacefully.

It really was the members. What a coincidence, he thought as he rolled his eyes. Messages were flowing in rapidly and Yugyeom struggled to read them, since they were flying past his eyes right as he caught sight of them. They were spamming and screaming, exclamation marks and emojis being the only thing he caught sight of. None of it made sense to him, almost like they were talking gibberish, so he switched his phone off completely and continued brushing his teeth to get ready to see you. Today was for you and him only. Whatever the occasion.

Yugyeom drove his sleek, black car out to the nearby park where you were already waiting for him. The chilly air resulted in a large scarf being wrapped around you and winter coat over your outfit. You were wearing a skirt with thigh high socks though, obviously not cold enough to make you dress in anything else and when you had gotten a touch of the cold air on your way out, you wanted to run back in and change but Yugyeom had told you that he was already on his way, so you didn’t want to keep him waiting. The coat would have to do, you decided.

You were almost completely covered up, minus your shivering legs and your face which was barely visible behind all of the layers. Yugyeom would’ve completely missed you had it not been for the cute little wave you gave him. He would never miss your cute ministrations. It was how he met you in the first place, all those years ago in this exact park when he saw you feeding a squirrel and tending to a bird who’s wing had been damaged.

He quickly turned on the heater, warming up the car for you before you got in. Yugyeom was thick skinned and rarely got cold so he was only wearing a light jacket, but he knew you were easily affected by the cold weather hence your current get up. You blew warm air onto your hands, smoke puffing out around them, before you reached for the door handle. The tip of your nose and cheeks were tinted red, how cute, he thought.

When you were comfortably seated and with your seatbelt fastened, Yugyeom grasped one your cold hands and placed it on his lap, driving away from the park and off into the city while you gave him directions to the bakery. “Did you wait long?” He asked you when you were waiting for the traffic light to signal go.

You shook your head, removing the scarf from around your neck because it was getting warmer in the car thanks to Yugyeom’s blasting heater. If not for him, you’d be completely frozen by now. “I was in the neighbourhood.” He seemed to be puzzled by the fact, but it didn’t surprise you.

The trip away with college friends wasn’t a complete lie. You had planned to go, and you did. For the first day. But after you took a dip in the nearby lake for a dare, you had fallen ill and spent the day getting an IV drip at the hospital for early symptoms of hypothermia. Fun.

Then you spent the next day wrapped up in blankets, with hot tea around the fire, as recommended by the doctor, and tried to come up with a plan for Yugyeom’s birthday. It had been awhile since you spent time with him, so you wanted it to be special. You could have told him, but it was useless as he would only worry and fuss over you. He was busy enough.

You actually lived quite a distance away from Yugyeom too, which was part of the reason why dates were rare and probably why he was being sceptical about your meeting place, but he’d find out in no time with the day you had in store for him. It wasn’t a lie that you were in the neighbourhood, but it was a surprise, so you kept your mouth closed and gave him no hints.

“So, birthday boy. Anyone spoil you with gifts and love yet, or am I the first?” He gave you a quizzical look and you laughed at the sight of pure confusion that was painted on his face, his eyebrows furrowed together, trying to piece it all together.

His face stilled and paled as he remembered the messages from the members. He was going to get his ass bet as soon as they see him tomorrow. They were birthday wishes to him and more than likely offers to go out to eat together and also the reason why you were going out with him today. He slammed his head on the steering wheel when he rolled to a stop at a red light, groaning in pain afterwards and rubbing his forehead. The members were going to think he was being bratty and ignoring them. He was literally doomed.  

You giggled quietly to yourself, knowing the antics of his members very well. Jinyoung and Jaebum especially since they frequently volunteered at the veterinary where you worked. It was near the park but quite the commute to your house as you lived in a suburban area.

The way they treated and took care of all the animals were quite the contrast to how they treated Yugyeom, but you could still feel a sense of love behind their actions. And it was unbelievably funny whenever they made fun of him. He was teased relentlessly when he first brought you to meet them, and they never let him live down the fact that he split the entire dish of spaghetti because you laughed at his mismatched socks. That was funny.

“Y/n! How stupid am I? I forgot my own birthday! Of all days!” He groaned again, repeating the same stupid mistake from earlier and slamming his forehead down on the steering wheel. He whined in pain and you rubbed the red spot soothingly, still giggling at him.

When you arrived at the destination, Yugyeom scrambled to turn his phone on and check all their 320 messages. He was dead meat.

‘Yah, you punk. You’re ignoring us?’ was sent from Jackson, along with multiple other angry face emojis of him exclaiming he won’t ever buy meat for him again. Always the dramatic one.

‘We practically raised you, and you dare ignore us on your birthday? We ought to slap some sense into you, brat.’ Obviously came from Jinyoung. Yugyeom quickly shot them a sheepish smile emoji and switched off his phone, not wanting to read the influx of texts that would surely come in the next few seconds, no doubt telling him off again.

He pulled you out of the car, momentarily forgetting about the cold weather and making you scramble to put the scarf back on. It was absolutely freezing today. The skirt was such a bad idea and making Yugyeom wait a few extra minutes wouldn’t have been a big deal when he would be in his warm car the whole time anyway. You were literally making yourself sick all over again. Guess both of you were quite the fools today. What a pair.

You swung his hand in yours, trying to take his mind off it all and just have a good day. His hand kept yours warm too. It always baffled you how he never got cold.

Popping into the bakery, you quickly picked up the cake you had ordered and grabbed Yugyeom’s hand again, making your way to the train station. Out of nowhere, rain started to pour and Yugyeom’s grasp on your hand tightened, beginning to run with you in tow to a place with shelter. The heels and skirt you wore slowed both of you down drastically, and by the time you reached shelter, you were almost completely soaked from head to toe and you felt even colder than before. How is that even possible?

Shaking like a leaf, Yugyeom removed his jacket and draped it over your shoulders, “stay here, I’ll go get an umbrella from the car.” You refused to be left alone though, so you both stayed under the flimsy plastic roof instead, waiting for the rain to pass. But just to your luck, gusts of wind were added instead of it stopping and Yugyeom sighed exasperatedly. He was only wearing a shirt. His birthday was not going well so far.

“I know you have a lot planned, but how nice does cuddling and movie sound?” He turned to look at you, concern in his eyes at your shivering state. He probably would have dragged you home even if you refused at this rate. His offer did sound tempting though; a warm bath and cuddles was just what you needed right now. “You have a bath, right?” When he gave you confirmation, you took a deep breath and grabbed his hand, running in the direction you had just come from. So much for a perfect day out together.

Snuggling up to Yugyeom’s side, you sighed in relief when your shivering finally subsided. The bath had soothed your nerves and pushed the hypothermia away, thankfully. You figured the Gods didn’t hate you so much as to completely ruin your day. Yugyeom wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his lap and letting you cuddle into his warm chest.

Your date may have been ruined, but you would much rather be warm and happy in Yugyeom’s arms, than cold and grumpy in nature’s wrath. And at least you still had a cake to munch on together. It wasn’t too bad and both of you were content with being like this. As long as you were together, what you were doing didn’t matter much. But you did feel sorry for not doing something more special for his birthday. Yugyeom didn’t let you dwell on it for long though, blowing out the candles on the cake and making a wish.

It wasn’t much but being with you made Yugyeom happier than anything else could. He had you in his arms, warmth and happiness surrounding the two of you as the movie played in the background and tasting the sweet cake on his tongue. Yugyeom decided simplicity was best and curled up into the bed, taking you with him. This was all he truly needed to feel happy and he couldn’t wait to spend another year with you like this.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

what's happening that's cool in the next couple weeks (in yr life, that you know of)? also what Outfit and or look would you like to get the opportunity to pull off someday

ah man not a gatdamn thing...if i look at it from a really boring perspective though i can say that if i write a decent amount and draw something i’ll be pleasantly surprised. but that doesnt count as looking forward to something i suppose. a comic ive been reading for i guess abt a year and a half is wrapping up soonish so i guess its a safe bet that i’ll be looking at updates of that at least once in the next two weeks, and going “wow i didnt see that coming” since i have virtually no predictionsive never been able to really like...freely build myself a wardrobe and i wish i had that opportunity. rn ive got one thats decent enough but really just a few pairs of jeans and basically all graphic tees / tees w some pattern on them or something. a few things are pretty fun but its not that much of a variety. i do have some sandals i like a lot, and some leggings and jewelry i collected along the way of life, coz i like fun necklaces and bracelets and stuff, when they fit my Aesthetic. my taste there runs cheap and fun...sparkly stuff & like necklaces w a starfish charm or whatever or my lars themed string of purple quartz crystals, etc, etcmy style kind of varies! the jeans / cool comfy tee look is honestly adequate for me, but i also like a little more Fashionable style, like casual layers and shit. there’s one end of my tastes where i tend to really like bright colors and glitter, rhinestones are a plus, i have a solid affinity for short shorts now, thats all great. but i also like sort of a more boring comfy fashion, i like soft long sweaters and more muted colors where there’s elements of strong contrast still are good too. some things i always like are uhhh like fitted type jeans, v necks, wide necks / off the shoulder stuff in general, horizontal stripes, stars, a good gradient. i have actually a really good light layer plaid buttondown that goes from red orange to blue, and i found a necklace with the same gradient in the opposite direction, i should remember to wear that next time im in public for some reasonin theory i ought to keep my eye out for like shirts with yknow where they have a bar of rainbow stripes across the chest or somewhere. yeahcolor-wise i like to wear blue & i ought to wear more green, thats prob the color that looks best on me. but blue is good too and i love it best. blueish greens and greenish blues, basicallyi also wish i had a baseball cap i really liked that i could wear all the time. i used to have a fantastic pair of prescription sunglasses that just vanishedin theory also, i like to think up slightly less casual Looks with like great jackets and stuff but realistically i do like to keep things ultimately really easy to put together & every piece to be really versatile. and a lot of times what i know is a good outfit that i could imagine myself wearing wouldnt actually look that great on me, so irl i wouldnt get all that ambitious abt things...i tend to just imagine wearing super coordinated stuff than i would b/c of the fact its all theoretical and all i really do is put on whatever tshirt i feel like Of The Day. and even if i was choosing from a lot of options, i’d still probably keep things ultimately comfortable and casual within the realm of putting together a good outfitso maybe some life cycle when i have a wholeass walk in closet and unlimited funds to spend on my (at least pretty inexpensive) tastes...

[trendyelle]

What To Eat For Clear Skin& What Foods Will Wreak Havoc On Your Face

If youre anything like me, someone who is a matured adult treats their body like a trashcan, then you accept the daily strive that is doing whatever the fuck you miss while also wanting to have a great mas and great scalp. Lifes hard whether it wishes to get fucked up at Superintendents Ball but too look 100 years old in your Instagram story. Not that I would know. I did not go to Gov Ball, though I did expend the weekend going through mimosas like water and chewing enough food to get me my own TLC reality show. That being said, I want to change. I want to be a new me. A better me. A me who introduces actual vitamins and minerals into her arrangement so her surface doesnt resemble the entire slice of pizza she feed last night. So heres a schedule of meat you should evade like an ex-boyfriend sliding into your DMs and foods you are able to hug because theyll cook your fucking heads. Damn, Ive get bars. DONT: Chew Canned Food/ Meats Gross. As if. Like, who even chews canned meat anymore? Other than my ex from college who had this weird obsession with eating vienna sausages( which, in hindsight, should have been a red-faced fucking flag that this child was a sociopath. That and his Belk credit card that he was always boasting about ). Canned and/ or highly processed foods have a shit ton of sodium in their own homes and effects your body to hold on to sea, which is why your look is always puffy or you have bags under your eyes that can be seen from cavity, and your acne is at World War III proportions. DO: Eat Salmon Aside from giving you a reason to pretend to be a foodie and likewise be objectionable on Instagram, gobbling salmon is a sure room to get better gazing surface. Salmon is rich with omega-3 fatty acids and healthy fattens. These paunches fortify cell layers and nourish the surface to impede you ogling fresh AF. DONT: Drink Green Juice Lol exactly because you regularly tell shit like #FitLife and #CleanEating on your IG does not mean you know wtf is good for you, because SURPRISE all those juices youre drinking to purify your organization are actually truly fucking bad for you. Juices are sugary as hell, specially the light-green juices which can have up to 50 grams of carbohydrate in them, which is actual sabotage when it comes to having clear surface. ^ I reckon every fitstagrammer when the find out they’ve been spouting liquid carbohydrate into their temples bodies DO: Drink A Protein Smoothie Aside from having something to talk about with the red-hot tutor at your gym, protein smoothies can actually be beneficial for your surface. The more you know. Bide away from the juicer smoothies and opt for one with some protein in it. These the different types of smoothies are high in healthy fatties and wont leave your surface gazing more ratchet than your Snap story last weekend. DONT: Eat Ice Cream Okay, this one I visualized entering. Good-for-nothing that tastes this good can be anything but destruction on your figure. And since Im not on my age rn in control of my body I suspect Im open to suggestions here. Ice cream is chock-full of sugar which can organize this fun stuff called advanced glycation end products which fucks up the protein in your mas. Why is that important you may ask? Because the proteins it fucks with “the worlds largest” are the ones that keep your skin plump and springy searching. So mostly devouring ice cream is aging you.* steps into oncoming transaction* DO: Eat Dark Chocolate Dark chocolate aka the DUD of chocolates has a fuck ton of antioxidants in it, which is v good for your surface. So even though it flavours health and the whole meter youll be bidding you were devouring real chocolate with real flavor at the least your surface will examine good AF and protection against wrinkles and other bad shit. DONT: Drink Coffee HA HA HA HA this has to be some sort of sick gag. You want me to give up my will to live caffeine? Do you likewise want me to commit homicide the next time person replies everyone to a department email chain? DO YOU? This one is tough for me to wrap my psyche around because coffee is literally one of the only concludes I get out of bed in the morning, and consequently, the same reasons you get to experience this shining identity. That tell me anything, coffee is a diuretic( fake information Im sure !) which causes your form to lose sea and your surface to get v dehydrated. Stay away from this shit if you miss glowy AF skin. DO: Drink Hot Lemon Water This replacement sounds about as good as the Republicans plan for health care but thats neither here nor there. Even though the prospect of booze hot lemon ocean know it sounds as seducing as sleeping with Jonathan The Tickle Monster, its actually super are you all right. Its hydrating, full of antioxidants, and presents some much needed support to your liver. Apparently, the liver is the main organ that detoxifies their own bodies and if youre full of toxins boozing on epoches that point in Y, youre more likely to break out. Sighs. And this is why we cant have neat things. DONT: Eat Bagels Okay, Im starting to feel personally victimized by such lists. Like, is person looking at my bank word and be careful to ensure that I waste a large amount of my down time in coffee shop and/ or bagel browses? Because Im find truly assaulted rn. Apparently, bagels are the worst for your scalp and can lead to a cascade of hormones aka acne breakouts for epoches.* prays this is bogus information* DO: Eat Non-Processed Carbs or Oats Tbh Id preferably deprived than eat something that resembles animal feed but I guess thats the price we pay to look like the “after” girl in an acne commercial. Oats are the right various kinds of carbs probs because it looks miserable to eat and likewise because its high in antioxidants which weve installed will not only give you clear/ glowy scalp but too battles against anti-aging. DONT: Drink Soda To absolutely no ones bombshell except my own because I refuse to read labels written by health professionals people who are out to destroy my merriment, soda is good for you. And only because you drink diet soda doesnt mean youre safe. Because diet soda especially interrupts the necessary and healthy bacteria found in your bowel. Likewise drinking any sort of soda are actually fuck with your scalp. Like, reason rosacea, eczema, and acne fuck with your skin. K. Just fuck me up rn then. Also, wtf am I supposed to order at the bar to go along with my vodka then? I cant merely booze vodka straight-shooting. I want to have clearer skin , not die. DO: Drink Kombucha Finally something that examines good on my Instagram story and isnt going to fuck up my skin. About damn time. Basically Kombucha is good for you because its fermented, and therefore full of probiotics, which will solve all their own lives questions. Im paraphrasing, but still. If you require clear scalp by the time this weekend’s brunch rosters around then chug some of this and simulate like its alcohol something you experience drinking. So, in conclusion, anything that brings you rapture is likely fucking up your scalp and you should cut it from your diet ASAP. I am feeling #blessed rn that alcohol did not acquire the roster, but thats mainly because I refused to do any actual research that they are able to attest otherwise. Who says you cant make your own destiny? Listen, if all else miscarries and you have no self hold dont want to relinquish your prosperity theres ever Facetune. Read more: www.betches.com http://selfhelpantiagingtips.com/what-to-eat-for-clear-skin-what-foods-will-wreak-havoc-on-your-face-43/

[trendyelle]

What To Eat For Clear Skin& What Foods Will Wreak Havoc On Your Face

If youre anything like me, someone who is a matured adult treats their body like a trashcan, then you accept the daily strive that is doing whatever the fuck you miss while also wanting to have a great mas and great scalp. Lifes hard whether it wishes to get fucked up at Superintendents Ball but too look 100 years old in your Instagram story. Not that I would know. I did not go to Gov Ball, though I did expend the weekend going through mimosas like water and chewing enough food to get me my own TLC reality show. That being said, I want to change. I want to be a new me. A better me. A me who introduces actual vitamins and minerals into her arrangement so her surface doesnt resemble the entire slice of pizza she feed last night. So heres a schedule of meat you should evade like an ex-boyfriend sliding into your DMs and foods you are able to hug because theyll cook your fucking heads. Damn, Ive get bars. DONT: Chew Canned Food/ Meats Gross. As if. Like, who even chews canned meat anymore? Other than my ex from college who had this weird obsession with eating vienna sausages( which, in hindsight, should have been a red-faced fucking flag that this child was a sociopath. That and his Belk credit card that he was always boasting about ). Canned and/ or highly processed foods have a shit ton of sodium in their own homes and effects your body to hold on to sea, which is why your look is always puffy or you have bags under your eyes that can be seen from cavity, and your acne is at World War III proportions. DO: Eat Salmon Aside from giving you a reason to pretend to be a foodie and likewise be objectionable on Instagram, gobbling salmon is a sure room to get better gazing surface. Salmon is rich with omega-3 fatty acids and healthy fattens. These paunches fortify cell layers and nourish the surface to impede you ogling fresh AF. DONT: Drink Green Juice Lol exactly because you regularly tell shit like #FitLife and #CleanEating on your IG does not mean you know wtf is good for you, because SURPRISE all those juices youre drinking to purify your organization are actually truly fucking bad for you. Juices are sugary as hell, specially the light-green juices which can have up to 50 grams of carbohydrate in them, which is actual sabotage when it comes to having clear surface. ^ I reckon every fitstagrammer when the find out they’ve been spouting liquid carbohydrate into their temples bodies DO: Drink A Protein Smoothie Aside from having something to talk about with the red-hot tutor at your gym, protein smoothies can actually be beneficial for your surface. The more you know. Bide away from the juicer smoothies and opt for one with some protein in it. These the different types of smoothies are high in healthy fatties and wont leave your surface gazing more ratchet than your Snap story last weekend. DONT: Eat Ice Cream Okay, this one I visualized entering. Good-for-nothing that tastes this good can be anything but destruction on your figure. And since Im not on my age rn in control of my body I suspect Im open to suggestions here. Ice cream is chock-full of sugar which can organize this fun stuff called advanced glycation end products which fucks up the protein in your mas. Why is that important you may ask? Because the proteins it fucks with “the worlds largest” are the ones that keep your skin plump and springy searching. So mostly devouring ice cream is aging you.* steps into oncoming transaction* DO: Eat Dark Chocolate Dark chocolate aka the DUD of chocolates has a fuck ton of antioxidants in it, which is v good for your surface. So even though it flavours health and the whole meter youll be bidding you were devouring real chocolate with real flavor at the least your surface will examine good AF and protection against wrinkles and other bad shit. DONT: Drink Coffee HA HA HA HA this has to be some sort of sick gag. You want me to give up my will to live caffeine? Do you likewise want me to commit homicide the next time person replies everyone to a department email chain? DO YOU? This one is tough for me to wrap my psyche around because coffee is literally one of the only concludes I get out of bed in the morning, and consequently, the same reasons you get to experience this shining identity. That tell me anything, coffee is a diuretic( fake information Im sure !) which causes your form to lose sea and your surface to get v dehydrated. Stay away from this shit if you miss glowy AF skin. DO: Drink Hot Lemon Water This replacement sounds about as good as the Republicans plan for health care but thats neither here nor there. Even though the prospect of booze hot lemon ocean know it sounds as seducing as sleeping with Jonathan The Tickle Monster, its actually super are you all right. Its hydrating, full of antioxidants, and presents some much needed support to your liver. Apparently, the liver is the main organ that detoxifies their own bodies and if youre full of toxins boozing on epoches that point in Y, youre more likely to break out. Sighs. And this is why we cant have neat things. DONT: Eat Bagels Okay, Im starting to feel personally victimized by such lists. Like, is person looking at my bank word and be careful to ensure that I waste a large amount of my down time in coffee shop and/ or bagel browses? Because Im find truly assaulted rn. Apparently, bagels are the worst for your scalp and can lead to a cascade of hormones aka acne breakouts for epoches.* prays this is bogus information* DO: Eat Non-Processed Carbs or Oats Tbh Id preferably deprived than eat something that resembles animal feed but I guess thats the price we pay to look like the “after” girl in an acne commercial. Oats are the right various kinds of carbs probs because it looks miserable to eat and likewise because its high in antioxidants which weve installed will not only give you clear/ glowy scalp but too battles against anti-aging. DONT: Drink Soda To absolutely no ones bombshell except my own because I refuse to read labels written by health professionals people who are out to destroy my merriment, soda is good for you. And only because you drink diet soda doesnt mean youre safe. Because diet soda especially interrupts the necessary and healthy bacteria found in your bowel. Likewise drinking any sort of soda are actually fuck with your scalp. Like, reason rosacea, eczema, and acne fuck with your skin. K. Just fuck me up rn then. Also, wtf am I supposed to order at the bar to go along with my vodka then? I cant merely booze vodka straight-shooting. I want to have clearer skin , not die. DO: Drink Kombucha Finally something that examines good on my Instagram story and isnt going to fuck up my skin. About damn time. Basically Kombucha is good for you because its fermented, and therefore full of probiotics, which will solve all their own lives questions. Im paraphrasing, but still. If you require clear scalp by the time this weekend’s brunch rosters around then chug some of this and simulate like its alcohol something you experience drinking. So, in conclusion, anything that brings you rapture is likely fucking up your scalp and you should cut it from your diet ASAP. I am feeling #blessed rn that alcohol did not acquire the roster, but thats mainly because I refused to do any actual research that they are able to attest otherwise. Who says you cant make your own destiny? Listen, if all else miscarries and you have no self hold dont want to relinquish your prosperity theres ever Facetune. Read more: www.betches.com http://selfhelpantiagingtips.com/what-to-eat-for-clear-skin-what-foods-will-wreak-havoc-on-your-face-43/

[trendyelle]

What To Eat For Clear Skin& What Foods Will Wreak Havoc On Your Face

If youre anything like me, someone who is a mature adult treats their body like a trashcan, then you recognise the daily skirmish that is doing whatever the fuck off want while also wanting to have a great body and enormous surface. Lifes hard when you want to get fucked up at Heads Ball but likewise gaze 100 years old in your Instagram story. Not that I would know. I did not go to Gov Ball, though I did waste the weekend going through mimosas like water and chewing enough food to get me my own TLC reality show. That being said, I want to change. I want to be a new me. A better me. A me who sets actual vitamins and minerals into her system so her scalp doesnt resemble the entire slice of pizza she ingested last darknes. So heres a register of nutrients you should avoid like an ex-boyfriend slipping into your DMs and foods you should embrace because theyll define your fucking heads. Damn, Ive got bars. DONT: Feed Canned Food/ Meats Gross. As if. Like, who even devours canned meat anymore? Other than my ex from college who had this weird preoccupation with eating vienna sausages( which, in hindsight, should have been a ruby-red fucking pennant that this minor was a sociopath. That and his Belk credit card that he was always boasting about ). Canned and/ or highly processed foods have a shit ton of sodium in them and causes your person to hold on to water, which is why your look is always puffy or you have pocketed under your eyes that can be seen from seat, and your acne is at World War III proportions. DO: Eat Salmon Aside from giving you a reason to pretend to be a foodie and too be obnoxious on Instagram, eating salmon is a sure space to get better gazing skin. Salmon is rich with omega-3 fatty battery-acids and healthy paunches. These paunches strengthen cell layers and nourish the skin to deter you ogling fresh AF. DONT: Drink Green Juice Lol exactly because you often do shit like #FitLife and #CleanEating on your IG does not mean you know wtf is good for you, because SURPRISE all those juices youre boozing to cleanse your mas are actually certainly fucking bad for you. Juices are sugary as hell, specially the dark-green juices which can have up to 50 grams of sugar in them, which is actual sabotage when it comes to having clear scalp. ^ I envisage every fitstagrammer when the catch out they’ve been pumping liquid carbohydrate into their temples bodies DO: Suck A Protein Smoothie Aside from having something to talk about with the hot manager at your gym, protein smoothies can actually be beneficial for your surface. The more you know. Abide away from the juicer smoothies and opt for one with some protein in it. These types of smoothies are high in healthy paunches and wont leave your surface examining more ratchet than your Snap story last weekend. DONT: Eat Ice Cream Okay, this one I verified entering. Good-for-nothing that savor this good can be anything but destruction on your figure. And since Im not on my interval rn in control of my torso I guess Im open to suggestions here. Ice cream is chock-full of sugar who are capable of pattern this fun event called advanced glycation end products which fucks up the protein in your person. Why is that important you may ask? Because the proteins it fucks with “the worlds largest” are the ones that keep your skin plump and springy examining. So basically gobbling ice cream is aging you.* gradations into oncoming transaction* DO: Eat Dark Chocolate Dark chocolate aka the DUD of chocolates has a fuck ton of antioxidants in it, which is v good for your scalp. So although it is penchants healthy and the whole occasion youll be wishing you two are snacking real chocolate with real flavor at the least your scalp will examine good AF and be protected against wrinkles and other bad shit. DONT: Drink Coffee HA HA HA HA this has to be some sort of sick pun. You want me to give up my will to live caffeine? Do you too want me to commit homicide the next time person responds all to ministries and departments email chain? DO YOU? This one is tough for me to wrap my psyche around because coffee is literally one of the only intellects I get out of bed in the morning, and consequently, the same reasons you get to experience this sparkling temperament. That being said, coffee is a diuretic( phony news Im sure !) which causes your organization to lose ocean and your surface to get v dehydrated. Stay away from this shit if you require glowy AF skin. DO: Drink Hot Lemon Water This replacement sounds about as good as the Republicans plan for health care but thats neither here nor there. Even though the prospect of drinking hot lemon ocean know it sounds as enticing as sleeping with Jonathan The Tickle Monster, its actually super are you all right. Its hydrating, full of antioxidants, and throws some much needed support to your liver. Apparently, the liver is the main organ that detoxifies the body and if youre full of toxins boozing on dates that dissolve in Y, youre more likely to break out. Sighs. And this is why we cant have neat things. DONT: Eat Bagels Okay, Im starting to feel personally was well received by such lists. Like, is person looking at my bank announcement and be careful to ensure that I waste a large amount of my down time in coffee shops and/ or bagel stores? Because Im seeming genuinely assaulted rn. Apparently, bagels are the worst for your scalp and can lead to a cascade of hormones aka acne breakouts for periods.* prays this is imitation bulletin* DO: Eat Non-Processed Carbs or Oats Tbh Id rather deprived than eat something that resembles animal feed but I guess thats the toll we pay to look like the “after” girl in an acne commercial. Oats are the right kind of carbs probs because it ogles miserable to eat and too because its high in antioxidants which weve installed will not only give you clear/ glowy scalp but likewise engages against anti-aging. DONT: Drink Soda To absolutely no ones bombshell except my own because I refuse to read labels written by health professionals people who are out to destroy my prosperity, soda is poor for you. And just because you booze diet soda doesnt mean youre safe. Because diet soda especially disrupts the necessary and healthy bacteria found in your intestine. Also boozing any sort of soda are actually fuck with your surface. Like, make rosacea, eczema, and acne fuck with your scalp. K. Just fuck me up rn then. Also, wtf am I supposed to order at the bar to go along with my vodka then? I cant just suck vodka straight-shooting. I want to have clearer skin , not succumb. DO: Drink Kombucha Finally something that looks good on my Instagram story and isnt going to fuck up my skin. About damn era. Basically Kombucha is good for you because its fermented, and therefore full of probiotics, which will solve all their own lives problems. Im paraphrasing, but still. If you require clear scalp by the time this weekend’s brunch buns around then chug some of this and profes like its alcohol something you experience drinking. So, in conclusion, anything that brings you rejoice is perhaps fucking up your skin and you should cut it from your diet ASAP. I am feeling #blessed rn that alcohol did not stir the inventory, but thats predominantly because I refused to do any actual research that would prove otherwise. Who says you cant see your own destiny? Listen, if all else flunks and you have no self control dont want to relinquish your prosperity theres always Facetune. Read more: www.betches.com http://selfhelpantiagingtips.com/what-to-eat-for-clear-skin-what-foods-will-wreak-havoc-on-your-face-36/

[trendyelle]

What To Eat For Clear Skin& What Foods Will Wreak Havoc On Your Face

If youre anything like me, someone who is a full-grown adult treats their body like a trashcan, then you recognize the daily strive that is doing whatever the fuck off crave although we are wanting to have a great person and enormous surface. Lifes hard whether it wishes to get fucked up at Governors Ball but also examine 100 years old in your Instagram story. Not that I would know. I did not go to Gov Ball, though I did expend the weekend “re going through” mimosas like water and ingesting enough food to get me my own TLC reality show. That being said, I want to change. I want to be a brand-new me. A better me. A me who applies actual vitamins and minerals into her structure so her surface doesnt resemble the entire slice of pizza she chewed last-place night. So heres a schedule of nutrients you should shun like an ex-boyfriend slithering into your DMs and foods you should hug because theyll sterilize your fucking face. Damn, Ive went bars. DONT: Chew Canned Food/ Meats Gross. As if. Like, who even devours canned meat anymore? Other than my ex from college who had this weird obsession with eating vienna sausages( which, in hindsight, should have been a red-faced fucking pennant that this minor was a sociopath. That and his Belk credit card that he was always bragging about ). Canned and/ or highly processed foods have a shit ton of sodium in them and makes your form to hold on to sea, which is why your appearance is always puffy or you have bags under your eyes that can be seen from space, and your acne is at World War III proportions. DO: Eat Salmon Aside from giving you a reason to pretend to be a foodie and also be hateful on Instagram, feeing salmon is a sure route to get better ogling skin. Salmon is rich with omega-3 fatty battery-acids and healthy flabs. These fats fortify cell layers and nourish the scalp to stop you searching fresh AF. DONT: Drink Green Juice Lol simply because you routinely tell shit like #FitLife and #CleanEating on your IG does not mean you know wtf is good for you, because SURPRISE all those juices youre drinking to cleanse your figure are actually really fucking bad for you. Juices are sugary as blaze, specially the light-green juices which can have up to 50 grams of carbohydrate in them, which is actual sabotage when it is necessary to having clear skin. ^ I envisage every fitstagrammer when the find out they’ve been gushing liquid sugar into their tabernacles bodies DO: Booze A Protein Smoothie Aside from having something to talk about with the hot manager at your gym, protein smoothies can really be beneficial for your scalp. The more you are familiar with. Remain away from the juicer smoothies and opt for one with some protein in it. These types of smoothies are high in healthy fatties and wont leave your scalp looking more ratchet than your Snap story last weekend. DONT: Eat Ice Cream Okay, this one I encountered coming. Nothing that tastes this good can be anything but destruction on your organization. And since Im not on my stage rn in control of my figure I predict Im open to suggestions here. Ice cream is chock-full of sugar who are capable of form this fun situation called advanced glycation end products which fucks up the protein in your form. Why is that important you may ask? Because the proteins it fucks with “the worlds largest” are the ones that keep your skin plump and springy searching. So basically gobbling ice cream is age you.* steps into oncoming commerce* DO: Eat Dark Chocolate Dark chocolate aka the DUD of chocolates has a fuck ton of antioxidants in it, which is v good for your skin. So although it is penchants healthy and the whole time youll be wishing you two are chewing real chocolate with real flavor at the least your surface will search good AF and be protected against wrinkles and other bad shit. DONT: Drink Coffee HA HA HA HA this has to be some sort of sick prank. You want me to give up my will to live caffeine? Do you likewise want me to commit homicide the next time someone responds everyone to ministries and departments email series? DO YOU? This one is tough for me to wrap my brain around because coffee is literally one of the only grounds I get out of bed in the morning, and therefore, the reason you get to experience this gleaming temperament. That tell me anything, coffee is a diuretic( bogus bulletin Im sure !) which causes your torso to lose sea and your skin to get v dehydrated. Stay away from this shit if you crave glowy AF skin. DO: Drink Hot Lemon Water This replacement sounds about as good as the Republican plan for health care but thats neither here nor there. Even though the prospect of drinking hot lemon water sounds about as enticing as sleeping with Jonathan The Tickle Monster, its actually super good for you. Its hydrating, full of antioxidants, and hands some much needed support to your liver. Apparently, the liver is the principal organ that detoxifies the body and if youre full of toxins boozing on periods that purpose in Y, youre more likely to break out. Sighs. And this is why we cant have neat things. DONT: Eat Bagels Okay, Im starting to feel personally was well received by this list. Like, is person looking at my bank word and be careful to ensure that I waste a large amount of my down time in coffee shops and/ or bagel browses? Because Im seeming truly assaulted rn. Apparently, bagels are the worst for your scalp and can lead to a cascade of hormones aka acne breakouts for daytimes.* prays this is fake news* DO: Eat Non-Processed Carbs or Oats Tbh Id instead starved than eat something that resembles animal feed but I guess thats the rate we pay to look like the “after” girl in an acne commercial. Oats are the right various kinds of carbs probs because it searches miserable to eat and also because its high in antioxidants which weve established will not only give you clear/ glowy scalp but likewise combats against anti-aging. DONT: Drink Soda To perfectly no ones amaze except my own because I refuse to read descriptions written by health professionals people who are out to destroy my happiness, soda is bad for you. And exactly because you drink diet soda doesnt mean youre safe. Because diet soda especially interrupts the necessary and healthy bacteria found in your intestine. Also boozing any kind of soda are actually fuck with your skin. Like, make rosacea, eczema, and acne fucking with your scalp. K. Just fuck me up rn then. Also, wtf am I supposed to order at the bar to go along with my vodka then? I cant only suck vodka straight. I want to have clearer scalp , not expire. DO: Drink Kombucha Finally something that ogles good on my Instagram story and isnt going to fuck up my scalp. About damn day. Basically Kombucha is good for you because its fermented, and therefore full of probiotics, which will solve all your life troubles. Im paraphrasing, but still. If you want clear skin by the time this weekend’s brunch buns around then chug some of this and feign like its alcohol something you experience drinking. So, in conclusion, anything that brings you delight is maybe fucking up your skin and you should cut it from your diet ASAP. I am feeling #blessed rn that alcohol did not shape the roster, but thats largely because I refused to do any actual study that would substantiate otherwise. Who says you cant manufacture your own predestination? Listen, if all else neglects and you have no self limit dont want to sacrifice your delight theres ever Facetune. Read more: www.betches.com http://selfhelpantiagingtips.com/what-to-eat-for-clear-skin-what-foods-will-wreak-havoc-on-your-face-27/

[trendyelle]

What To Eat For Clear Skin& What Foods Will Wreak Havoc On Your Face

If youre anything like me, someone who is a grown-up adult plows their body like a trashcan, then you acknowledge the daily fight that is doing whatever the fuck you require while also wanting to have a great body and great surface. Lifes hard whether it wishes to get fucked up at Ministers Ball but too seem 100 years old in your Instagram story. Not that I would know. I did not go to Gov Ball, though I did waste the weekend going through mimosas like water and eating sufficient food to get me my own TLC reality show. That being said, I want to change. I want to be a brand-new me. A better me. A me who sets actual vitamins and minerals into her system so her scalp doesnt resemble the entire slice of pizza she gobbled last nighttime. So heres a roll of foods you should eschew like an ex-boyfriend sliding into your DMs and foods you are able to cuddle because theyll define your fucking face. Damn, Ive get bars. DONT: Eat Canned Food/ Meats Gross. As if. Like, who even eats canned fleshes anymore? Other than my ex from college who had this weird infatuation with eating vienna sausages( which, in hindsight, should have been a cherry-red fucking flag that this child was a sociopath. That and his Belk credit card that he was always bragging about ). Canned and/ or highly processed foods have a shit ton of sodium in their own homes and induces your mas to hold on to ocean, which is why your face is always puffy or you have pouched under your eyes that can be seen from opening, and your acne is at World War III proportions. DO: Eat Salmon Aside from giving you a reason to pretend to be a foodie and likewise be hateful on Instagram, snacking salmon is a sure room to get better seeming surface. Salmon is rich with omega-3 fatty battery-acids and healthy fats. These flabs strengthen cadre layers and nourish the skin to hinder you gazing fresh AF. DONT: Drink Green Juice Lol only because you regularly say shit like #FitLife and #CleanEating on your IG does not mean you know wtf is good for you, because SURPRISE all those juices youre drinking to purify your figure are actually certainly fucking bad for you. Juices are sugary as hell, especially the green juices which are able to have up to 50 grams of sugar in them, which is actual destruction when it is necessary to having clear skin. ^ I suspect every fitstagrammer when the catch out they’ve been gushing liquid carbohydrate into their synagogues bodies DO: Suck A Protein Smoothie Aside from having something to talk about with the red-hot manager at your gym, protein smoothies was in fact be beneficial for your scalp. The more you are familiar with. Bide away from the juicer smoothies and opt for one with some protein in it. These the different types of smoothies are high in healthy paunches and wont leave your scalp seeming more ratchet than your Snap story last weekend. DONT: Eat Ice Cream Okay, this one I learnt coming. Good-for-nothing that savor this good can be anything but destruction on your figure. And since Im not on my period rn in control of my organization I approximate Im open to suggestions here. Ice cream is chock-full of sugar which can form this fun occasion called advanced glycation end products which fucks up the protein in your form. Why is that important you may ask? Because the proteins it fucks with the most are the ones that keep your skin plump and springy examining. So mostly devouring ice cream is aging you.* gradations into oncoming traffic* DO: Eat Dark Chocolate Dark chocolate aka the DUD of chocolates has a fuck ton of antioxidants in it, which is v good for your scalp. So even though it preferences healthy and the whole day youll be caring you two are chewing real chocolate with real flavor at the least your skin will look good AF and be protected against wrinkles and other bad shit. DONT: Drink Coffee HA HA HA HA this has to be some sort of sick parody. You want me to give up my will to live caffeine? Do you also want me to commit homicide the next time person responds all to ministries and departments email chain? DO YOU? This one is tough for me to wrap my brain around because coffee is literally one of the only intellects I get out of berthed in the morning, and therefore, the reason you get to experience this effervescent personality. That tell me anything, coffee is a diuretic( bogus news Im sure !) which causes your body to lose sea and your surface to get v dehydrated. Stay away from this shit if you miss glowy AF skin. DO: Drink Hot Lemon Water This replacement sounds about as good as the Republican plan for health care but thats neither here nor there. Even though future prospects of boozing hot lemon water sounds about as seducing as sleeping with Jonathan The Tickle Monster, its actually super good for you. Its hydrating, full of antioxidants, and imparts some very much support efforts to your liver. Apparently, the liver is the main organ that detoxifies the body and if youre full of toxins sucking on eras that objective in Y, youre more likely to break out. Sighs. And this is why we cant have nice things. DONT: Eat Bagels Okay, Im starting to feel personally victimized by this list. Like, is someone looking at my bank statement and be careful to ensure that I expend a great amount of my down time in coffee shops and/ or bagel stores? Because Im feeling actually assaulted rn. Apparently, bagels are the worst for your skin and can lead to a cascade of hormones aka acne breakouts for dates.* prays this is imitation information* DO: Eat Non-Processed Carbs or Oats Tbh Id preferably starve than eat something that resembles animal feed but I guess thats the toll we pay to look like the “after” girl in an acne commercial-grade. Oats are the right various kinds of carbs probs because it ogles miserable to eat and too because its high in antioxidants which weve launched will not only give you clear/ glowy skin but too battles against anti-aging. DONT: Drink Soda To perfectly no ones astonish except my own because I refuse to read descriptions written by health professionals people who are out to destroy my pleasure, soda are detrimental to you. And exactly because you drink diet soda doesnt mean youre safe. Because diet soda especially disrupts the necessary and healthy bacteria found in your gut. Also drinking any sort of soda can really fuck with your scalp. Like, crusade rosacea, eczema, and acne fuck with your skin. K. Just fuck me up rn then. Too, wtf am I supposed to order at the bar to go along with my vodka then? I cant just suck vodka straight-from-the-shoulder. I want to have clearer scalp , not succumb. DO: Drink Kombucha Finally something that examines good on my Instagram story and isnt going to fuck up my skin. About damn duration. Basically Kombucha is good for you because its fermented, and therefore full of probiotics, which will solve all your life questions. Im paraphrasing, but still. If you require clear skin by the time this weekend’s brunch rollings around then chug some of this and claim like its alcohol something you enjoy drinking. So, in conclusion, anything that brings you elation is possibly fucking up your skin and you should cut it from your diet ASAP. I am feeling #blessed rn that alcohol did not build the list, but thats primarily because I refused to do any actual research that would substantiate otherwise. Who says you cant constitute your own predestination? Listen, if all else flunks and you have no self verify dont wishes to relinquish your gaiety theres ever Facetune. Read more: www.betches.com http://selfhelpantiagingtips.com/what-to-eat-for-clear-skin-what-foods-will-wreak-havoc-on-your-face-13/

[trendyelle]

What To Eat For Clear Skin& What Foods Will Wreak Havoc On Your Face

If youre anything like me, someone who is a mature adult treats their body like a trashcan, then you remember the daily battle that is doing whatever the fuck off require while also wanting to have a great mas and enormous scalp. Lifes hard whether it wishes to get fucked up at Governors Ball but too search 100 years old in your Instagram story. Not that I would know. I did not go to Gov Ball, though I did expend the weekend “re going through” mimosas like water and eating sufficient food to get me my own TLC reality show. That being said, I want to change. I want to be a brand-new me. A better me. A me who employs actual vitamins and minerals into her plan so her skin doesnt resemble the entire slice of pizza she devoured last-place darknes. So heres a inventory of foods you should eschew like an ex-boyfriend slithering into your DMs and foods you are able to embrace because theyll secure your fucking face. Damn, Ive got bars. DONT: Gobble Canned Food/ Meats Gross. As if. Like, who even chews canned meat anymore? Other than my ex from college who had this weird infatuation with eating vienna sausages( which, in hindsight, should have been a red-faced fucking pennant that this kid was a sociopath. That and his Belk credit card that he was always boasting about ). Canned and/ or highly processed foods have a shit ton of sodium in them and makes your torso to hold on to sea, which is why your appearance is always puffy or you have pocketed under your eyes that can be seen from room, and your acne is at World War III proportions. DO: Eat Salmon Aside from giving you a reason to pretend to be a foodie and likewise be objectionable on Instagram, dining salmon is a sure method to get better looking skin. Salmon is rich with omega-3 fatty acids and healthy flabs. These paunches buttress cell layers and nourish the surface to retain you gazing fresh AF. DONT: Drink Green Juice Lol merely because you frequently say shit like #FitLife and #CleanEating on your IG does not mean you know wtf is good for you, because SURPRISE all those juices youre booze to cleanse your person are actually actually fucking bad for you. Juices are sugary as hell, specially the light-green juices which can have up to 50 grams of carbohydrate in them, which is actual sabotage when it comes to having clear scalp. ^ I thoughts every fitstagrammer when the catch out they’ve been running liquid sugar into their temples bodies DO: Drink A Protein Smoothie Aside from having something to talk about with the hot teach at your gym, protein smoothies was in fact be beneficial for your scalp. The more you know. Abide away from the juicer smoothies and opt for one with some protein in it. These types of smoothies are high in healthy fats and wont leave your skin looking more ratchet than your Snap story last weekend. DONT: Eat Ice Cream Okay, this one I assured coming. Nothing that savours this good can be anything but sabotage on your form. And since Im not on my period rn in control of my body I guess Im open to suggestions here. Ice cream is chock-full of sugar which can structure this fun event called advanced glycation end products which fucks up the protein in your organization. Why is that important you may ask? Because the proteins it fucks with “the worlds largest” are the ones that keep your skin plump and springy ogling. So mostly dining ice cream is age you.* gradations into oncoming transaction* DO: Eat Dark Chocolate Dark chocolate aka the DUD of chocolates has a fuck ton of antioxidants in it, which is v good for your surface. So even though it feelings health and the whole hour youll be pleasing you were chewing real chocolate with real flavor at the least your skin will gaze good AF and protection against wrinkles and other bad shit. DONT: Drink Coffee HA HA HA HA this has to be some sort of sick gag. You want me to give up my will to live caffeine? Do you also want me to commit homicide the next time person responds everyone to a department email series? DO YOU? This one is tough for me to wrap my intelligence around because coffee is literally one of the only reasons I get out of bunked in the morning, and consequently, the same reasons you get to experience this shining temperament. That being said, coffee is a diuretic( fake information Im sure !) which causes your mas to lose water and your skin to get v dehydrated. Stay away from this shit if you miss glowy AF skin. DO: Drink Hot Lemon Water This replacement sounds about as good as the Republican plan for health care but thats neither here nor there. Even though the prospect of booze hot lemon water know it sounds as tempting as sleeping with Jonathan The Tickle Monster, its actually super are you all right. Its hydrating, full of antioxidants, and yields some much needed support to your liver. Apparently, the liver is the main organ that detoxifies the body and if youre full of toxins drinking on dates that aim in Y, youre more likely to break out. Sighs. And this is why we cant have neat things. DONT: Eat Bagels Okay, Im starting to feel personally victimized by such lists. Like, is person looking at my bank account and be careful to ensure that I expend a great amount of my down time in coffee shops and/ or bagel stores? Because Im detecting genuinely criticized rn. Apparently, bagels are the worst for your skin and can lead to a cascade of hormones aka acne breakouts for epoches.* prays this is bogus report* DO: Eat Non-Processed Carbs or Oats Tbh Id preferably starve than eat something that resembles animal feed but I guess thats the cost we pay to look like the “after” girl in an acne commercial. Oats are the right kind of carbs probs because it appears miserable to eat and likewise because its high in antioxidants which weve supported will not only give you clear/ glowy surface but likewise pushes against anti-aging. DONT: Drink Soda To utterly no ones stun except my own because I refuse to read labels written by health professionals people who are out to destroy my joy, soda is bad for you. And just because you drink diet soda doesnt mean youre safe. Because diet soda specially disrupts the necessary and healthy bacteria found in your gut. Also drinking any kind of soda are actually fuck with your scalp. Like, induce rosacea, eczema, and acne fucking with your scalp. K. Just fuck me up rn then. Likewise, wtf am I supposed to order at the bar to go along with my vodka then? I cant simply suck vodka directly. I want to have clearer surface , not die. DO: Drink Kombucha Finally something that appears good on my Instagram story and isnt going to fuck up my scalp. About damn experience. Basically Kombucha is good for you because its fermented, and therefore full of probiotics, which will solve all your life troubles. Im paraphrasing, but still. If you miss clear surface by the time this weekend’s brunch rolls around then chug some of this and feign like its booze something you experience drinking. So, in conclusion, anything that brings you elation is likely fucking up your surface and you should cut it from your diet ASAP. I am feeling #blessed rn that alcohol did not shape the listing, but thats principally because I refused to do any actual experiment that they are able to attest otherwise. Who says you cant establish your own fate? Listen, if all else neglects and you have no self hold dont want to sacrifice your gaiety theres always Facetune. Read more: www.betches.com http://selfhelpantiagingtips.com/what-to-eat-for-clear-skin-what-foods-will-wreak-havoc-on-your-face-11/

[trendyelle]

What To Eat For Clear Skin& What Foods Will Wreak Havoc On Your Face

If youre anything like me, someone who is a mature adult treats their body like a trashcan, then you remember the daily battle that is doing whatever the fuck off require while also wanting to have a great mas and enormous scalp. Lifes hard whether it wishes to get fucked up at Governors Ball but too search 100 years old in your Instagram story. Not that I would know. I did not go to Gov Ball, though I did expend the weekend “re going through” mimosas like water and eating sufficient food to get me my own TLC reality show. That being said, I want to change. I want to be a brand-new me. A better me. A me who employs actual vitamins and minerals into her plan so her skin doesnt resemble the entire slice of pizza she devoured last-place darknes. So heres a inventory of foods you should eschew like an ex-boyfriend slithering into your DMs and foods you are able to embrace because theyll secure your fucking face. Damn, Ive got bars. DONT: Gobble Canned Food/ Meats Gross. As if. Like, who even chews canned meat anymore? Other than my ex from college who had this weird infatuation with eating vienna sausages( which, in hindsight, should have been a red-faced fucking pennant that this kid was a sociopath. That and his Belk credit card that he was always boasting about ). Canned and/ or highly processed foods have a shit ton of sodium in them and makes your torso to hold on to sea, which is why your appearance is always puffy or you have pocketed under your eyes that can be seen from room, and your acne is at World War III proportions. DO: Eat Salmon Aside from giving you a reason to pretend to be a foodie and likewise be objectionable on Instagram, dining salmon is a sure method to get better looking skin. Salmon is rich with omega-3 fatty acids and healthy flabs. These paunches buttress cell layers and nourish the surface to retain you gazing fresh AF. DONT: Drink Green Juice Lol merely because you frequently say shit like #FitLife and #CleanEating on your IG does not mean you know wtf is good for you, because SURPRISE all those juices youre booze to cleanse your person are actually actually fucking bad for you. Juices are sugary as hell, specially the light-green juices which can have up to 50 grams of carbohydrate in them, which is actual sabotage when it comes to having clear scalp. ^ I thoughts every fitstagrammer when the catch out they’ve been running liquid sugar into their temples bodies DO: Drink A Protein Smoothie Aside from having something to talk about with the hot teach at your gym, protein smoothies was in fact be beneficial for your scalp. The more you know. Abide away from the juicer smoothies and opt for one with some protein in it. These types of smoothies are high in healthy fats and wont leave your skin looking more ratchet than your Snap story last weekend. DONT: Eat Ice Cream Okay, this one I assured coming. Nothing that savours this good can be anything but sabotage on your form. And since Im not on my period rn in control of my body I guess Im open to suggestions here. Ice cream is chock-full of sugar which can structure this fun event called advanced glycation end products which fucks up the protein in your organization. Why is that important you may ask? Because the proteins it fucks with “the worlds largest” are the ones that keep your skin plump and springy ogling. So mostly dining ice cream is age you.* gradations into oncoming transaction* DO: Eat Dark Chocolate Dark chocolate aka the DUD of chocolates has a fuck ton of antioxidants in it, which is v good for your surface. So even though it feelings health and the whole hour youll be pleasing you were chewing real chocolate with real flavor at the least your skin will gaze good AF and protection against wrinkles and other bad shit. DONT: Drink Coffee HA HA HA HA this has to be some sort of sick gag. You want me to give up my will to live caffeine? Do you also want me to commit homicide the next time person responds everyone to a department email series? DO YOU? This one is tough for me to wrap my intelligence around because coffee is literally one of the only reasons I get out of bunked in the morning, and consequently, the same reasons you get to experience this shining temperament. That being said, coffee is a diuretic( fake information Im sure !) which causes your mas to lose water and your skin to get v dehydrated. Stay away from this shit if you miss glowy AF skin. DO: Drink Hot Lemon Water This replacement sounds about as good as the Republican plan for health care but thats neither here nor there. Even though the prospect of booze hot lemon water know it sounds as tempting as sleeping with Jonathan The Tickle Monster, its actually super are you all right. Its hydrating, full of antioxidants, and yields some much needed support to your liver. Apparently, the liver is the main organ that detoxifies the body and if youre full of toxins drinking on dates that aim in Y, youre more likely to break out. Sighs. And this is why we cant have neat things. DONT: Eat Bagels Okay, Im starting to feel personally victimized by such lists. Like, is person looking at my bank account and be careful to ensure that I expend a great amount of my down time in coffee shops and/ or bagel stores? Because Im detecting genuinely criticized rn. Apparently, bagels are the worst for your skin and can lead to a cascade of hormones aka acne breakouts for epoches.* prays this is bogus report* DO: Eat Non-Processed Carbs or Oats Tbh Id preferably starve than eat something that resembles animal feed but I guess thats the cost we pay to look like the “after” girl in an acne commercial. Oats are the right kind of carbs probs because it appears miserable to eat and likewise because its high in antioxidants which weve supported will not only give you clear/ glowy surface but likewise pushes against anti-aging. DONT: Drink Soda To utterly no ones stun except my own because I refuse to read labels written by health professionals people who are out to destroy my joy, soda is bad for you. And just because you drink diet soda doesnt mean youre safe. Because diet soda specially disrupts the necessary and healthy bacteria found in your gut. Also drinking any kind of soda are actually fuck with your scalp. Like, induce rosacea, eczema, and acne fucking with your scalp. K. Just fuck me up rn then. Likewise, wtf am I supposed to order at the bar to go along with my vodka then? I cant simply suck vodka directly. I want to have clearer surface , not die. DO: Drink Kombucha Finally something that appears good on my Instagram story and isnt going to fuck up my scalp. About damn experience. Basically Kombucha is good for you because its fermented, and therefore full of probiotics, which will solve all your life troubles. Im paraphrasing, but still. If you miss clear surface by the time this weekend’s brunch rolls around then chug some of this and feign like its booze something you experience drinking. So, in conclusion, anything that brings you elation is likely fucking up your surface and you should cut it from your diet ASAP. I am feeling #blessed rn that alcohol did not shape the listing, but thats principally because I refused to do any actual experiment that they are able to attest otherwise. Who says you cant establish your own fate? Listen, if all else neglects and you have no self hold dont want to sacrifice your gaiety theres always Facetune. Read more: www.betches.com http://selfhelpantiagingtips.com/what-to-eat-for-clear-skin-what-foods-will-wreak-havoc-on-your-face-11/