#ive been trying too hard to draw recently (in pencil) and it's just not working. this'll help the switch back will be it!!!

[leadendeath]

maybe it was just that it was january. bUT SUDDENLY I HAVE A HUGE CREATIVE "WANNA DO ALL THE THINGS" STREAK after feeling pretty meh creatively and in general tbh and it's not even a manic episode it's genuine "i'm in the zone" with doing stuff

whys normal english speaking so hard

anyway made some ''warmup'' simplistic patches last week. finalized an idea recently. got a patch idea conceptualized‚ drafted‚ and MADE/FINISHED in the same day a few days ago and it fucken slaps. nothing ever turns out how i want. but this did. that never happens + that aspect of creating, the disappointment, the "eh." feeling really doesn't bring the dopamine like it should when finishing something yknow lol. normal people feel good when theyve finished something. ive hardly ever had that feeling. i wonder if getting some professional help with the dopamine situation hopefully later this year will help that. i sure hope so.

[chronocrump]

Hello Chronocrump, I recently stumbled upon your art the other day, and I couldn't stop staring at your gallery.. It makes me realize there is so much thats lacking from my art that I really want to improve on. I felt desperate to contact you, but wasn't sure if it would be rude. I wanted to try to ask you, how do you approach drawing? Do you structure it first, or start with a gesture drawing? Focus on the form or perspective first? Etc My other question might seem strange, but I wanted to ask how do you hold your pencil? Ive learned that different pencil grips can drastically change the quality of someone's art. Thank you for your time. I'm sorry if my message is to long, or you don't want to respond back. I wanted to atleast try, but also let you know that your work has been very inspiring for me to keep trying.

I'm glad to answer your questions, it's seriously no problem. I wanna start by telling you how amazed I was when I checked your profile to see your work. I know you have a huge lack of confidence in it, but your art is genuinely beautiful, and frankly, looking at it, I found it hard to believe that you would be asking me for advice...from my perspective, you're way ahead of me. You're certainly better with color; you might notice I really only post sketches lol. I really don't want to dismiss or downplay your feelings about it, but I have to let you know how I felt looking at it. To me it seems like your brain is telling you your art isn't good enough when it very, very much is.

Anyway, enough gushing from me lol. On to your questions.

Usually when starting a drawing, I very loosely and lightly sketch the overall form of the pose I wanna do. Very rough basic shapes/forms to get everything in its right place before I start really drawing it with confident lines. Even then, all the lines are subject to change; nothing is sacred. To be honest tho, I usually mess up the proportions and have to fix them a bit lol. I try to sketch cleanly and concisely, meaning I try not to draw a lot of lines in a spot that could really be done with just one or two. I'm not super strict on that tho, at the end of the day while I try to draw efficiently, I also want to draw comfortably. So with something like a big circle for example, I'll draw that pretty sketchy. In terms of perspective, I'm trying to get better at it, but when considering how I want to use it in a drawing, it's part of the initial image or idea I have in my head, so I lay it out from the beginning. I do also draw structure lines on the face, just a simple cross to plan where the center of the face will be. Lately I've also tried taking more pictures of myself for pose reference and it works well.

Most of my practice comes from studying my favorite artists and trying to emulate the specific ways they structure their drawings. I should actually be doing dedicated practice sessions with that, but I digress. Recently I've been trying to practice from photos first thing in the morning, tho I'm finding it hard to commit to doing it daily. I just go on pinterest and find cool poses, then draw them, trying to get down the basic shapes and prominent features more than focusing on minute details. I've posted some of these practice sketches on here but there's a few more on my twitter if you wanna see what I'm talking about.

In terms of my pencil grip, I'm not sure...since I was little, I've always had an unusual grip. Looking it up, I guess it's like the "dynamic quadrupod" grip, but with my forefinger farther back. Really the most I try to do is draw less with my wrist and more with my forearm. Some say you should "draw from the shoulder", and that sounds right...I guess it's all about avoiding straining your wrist and getting carpal tunnel lol.

Anyway, I'm flattered that you would ask me for advice. To be honest, it makes me feel like I should have more confidence in my own art. And you should too! I can say that, objectively, your art is very good. I hope my advice was actually helpful and not generic stuff you've heard before lol. Good luck in your art journey.

[ankhisms]

the always wonderful shelley @shanheling tagged me to do this thank u so much!! i think that everyone i wanted to tag has already been tagged to do this but if you feel like doing this feel free to consider urself tagged by me!! im putting this under a readmore bc its long and i ramble a lot

the piece i was tagged to explain my process on is this oc piece! unfortunately i have a habit of deleting my original clip studio file once ive finished my art and saved it as a new png file, so i dont have the file to show the sketch and different stages of this piece. but I still can go through my general process and talk about how i did that piece!

1. planning

honestly i think about the art that i want to do a lot, and in this last year or so ive thought about the art i want to do more than ive been able to actually create and finish that art that i want to do. for my planning i tend to do a lot of different thumbnail sketches for the art im thinking of

these are some examples of thumbnails, a lot of times ill do thumbnails just on pencil and paper and with some of these theyre done quickly with my fingers on my phone note function on a day where i was feeling too bad to get up and draw on paper but still wanted to get the thumbnail ideas down. two of these are for the same songxiao piece that i still havent finished and i have more thumbnails digitally on clip studio for the same piece, i do a lot more thumbnails when a piece isnt working the way i want it to and theres times where ill completely scratch a thumbnail or a sketch and start over in order to do more thumbnails because i dont feel happy with some aspect of it.

two of these are small gouche painting thumbnails for two pieces i did maybe a month or so ago, i did the thumbnails and then tried to expand on them digitally and im wanting to do more thumbnail paintings like this in the future because it was fun

for the piece of my oc trio it was based off a series of ask prompts i got for a few different outfit prompt memes i had reblogged, so i based their outfits on the ones in the meme. when im drawing figures i tend to try and get the movement down in the poses when im sketching, i do several rough sketches of the pose before beginning to start setting down lines (if im doing lineart at all because sometimes i dont like doing lineart and do a more lineless painting kind of style). i really try to get my art to convey some kind of emotion, in the oc piece i wanted it to feel fun and like youre seeing three best friends while theyre out on the town having a fun night

2. creating

this is the only real example i have of a piece in the middle of being filled in and created, this piece is one that im really not very happy with & have had lying around for a while and ill probably scrap it and try to come at it from a different perspective at some point. but anyway it still shows what i do, i lay down a kind of neutral gray color underneath my final sketch/lineart if im doing lineart in that piece and then i start picking out the colors that i want for the piece and kind of setting out a pallette for myself. i dont do this color pallette thing 100% of the time but i do it really often, especially if im working on a commission or a larger piece where i know theres going to be a lot of colors or if its a piece where im not sure exactly what color scheme i want so laying out the colors together helps me kind of decide what kind of scheme i want. i am sooooo picky about my colors in my art i am genuinely obsessed with colors in art and there are times where i really have to stop myself from working on something forever just constantly adding more colors or putting little tiny changes and gradients in the colors.

after ive got the colors i want down i tend to try and block out parts of the piece with the base color for that section, and then i start to paint with the colors that i want to go on top of that base color from there.

once im satisfied with the colors/shading/rendering and everything ill go back and look over things and will fix things that look off or sometimes completely redo segments if they dont look right to me. when i was younger and mainly doing digital art using my phone and my fingers i would use a lot of filters and overlays on top of my art once i was done, and honestly im glad to not be doing that anymore because i dont think it made my art look any better. i do color adjustments and sometimes will put on a color overlay or a layer to emphasize the shadows and the light in the piece, but i try to keep those layers to a minimum and like i said before i have a tendency to obsess over the colors and ill spend a good amount of time in the color adjustment tool of clip studio and then ill just decide "actually it looks fine as it is" so yeah!

3. posting

i feel like i dont have a lot to say here gbfm i mean i honestly have a lot of thoughts about the relationship between artists and social media and how social media changes our views on art including our own art and how we can feel like we constantly need to be posting new art and just become content machines churning out new stuff. but ill save that rant for another time. i used to be really concerned about how many notes my art would get when i was younger, and i dont at all blame anyone who still is very concerned about that bc it sucks when u work hard on something youve created and then you dont get a lot of recognition for it, but honestly within the last two years or so i feel like ive begun to have a lot healthier relationship with posting my art. i really just post my art on my art blog, reblog it to my main blog, and then thats that yknow! i do really appreciate any and all support people give me, it means the world to me, but for me having the mentality where i dont need to post all the art i make and i dont need to be posting every day or every week or every month even has been a lot healthier for me because then im not constantly asking myself why didnt this get notes is my art awful??? and yeah i just kind of post it and my brain goes okay were done with that art we gotta make more

ive honestly been struggling a lot with art thru the pandemic and if youre reading this and have been struggling with creating in any way recently or even before the pandemic, please know theres no shame in having trouble creating and it doesnt make you bad at whatever it is u create!

thank you for reading this, feel free to consider urself tagged by me again if u want to do this!! love u all

[wollfling]

Hi Allie! I wondered if I could ask you for some advice. I want to draw really badly and create art but I really don't have any skill! I know that in order to get better at art I have to actually do it, but I feel so overwhelmed by how I'm not where I want to be with it right away, and also with where to start with learning to draw. Do you ever feel that way when you draw? And if you do how have you gotten past it?

[I am literally so sorry this is so long oh my God. My mind has been very jumbled lately so I accidentally rambled too much, but I hope it still helps you in any way orz] Oh sweet little anon.. ;^; I do feel that way, a lot of the time if not all of the time! Just recently this week, I felt like I just couldn't draw despite picking up my pencil and scribbling, it just wasn't working partly for that exact reason! Overwhelmed by not being where I want to be with it! These things happen and its frustrating. It's hard for me to imagine as a beginner artist because I've been drawing since I can remember but I will still do my best to offer you some meaningful advice!

But first, to answer your very last question, getting past it can be a little random sometimes. This whole week after being unable to draw, I was laying in bed trying to sleep while reflecting on some heavy feelings ive been having and memories. Suddenly part of an image flashed in my mind and I got up to immediately try drawing it. (The drawing I recently posted and captioned "parade"!) I worked on it completely driven by my heart, and so it didn't matter at the time if it looked good or was anatomically correct, etc. Right now I am working on another heart-driven drawing, but if I tried to work on lets say a study or character drawing instead.. I dont think i could!

My point in all this is that, I think that its important to know/understand why you want to create art, and I think my advice would change slightly depending on your answer. For me personally, I am an emotional artist. I create art that (usually) reflects how I'm feeling or topics I am emotionally drawn to. Illustrations, drawing characters, writing comics, etc.. I think this week, while I'm definitely struggling with my skill level, I was so burdened by some things I've been feeling lately that I couldn't focus on or enjoy anything that I was trying to create, until I was able to release it all in a drawing. (And I'm still not done with them hence why I am now working on another related drawing, but im making SOMETHING and feeling passionate which cannot be said with any of my other attempts this week.) So since these drawings purpose outweigh my current issues regarding my skill, I am able to work on them. If that makes sense?

Okay im sorry with how long-winded this all is so far and all about myself orz but I wanted to give context on how I view art and I think if you asked someone who creates like. Hyperrealistic drawings their answers would be completely different. So! I wanted you to be able to judge if my advice would work for you if that makes any sense at all...!!! Moving on to my actual advice then..!

This is a little general ofc because I dont know what sort of art you are creating, or what your passion behind it is. And if after this you would like to tell me more about your art I would love to hear! 🥺💗 you are welcome to dm me or if you send another anon/ask i think that would be good too since.. well other artists who see can also give their own advice too!

Okay. So anyways lol, first I want to tell you that your desire to create art makes you an artist, despite your skill level. And therefore, everything and anything that you make even now has value. Even if right now you're drawing wonky shaded spheres and cubes! I understand its frustrating when wanting to make something but you feel like your skill isn't "there" and how that can prevent you from making anything to begin with!! But I really want you to try and work through it! Ignore it, disregard it, give your worries about your skill the silent treatment!! And I know its near impossible to do but if its getting in the way of you actually creating well.. thats the worst! We can't have that. If you really want to draw, then you really NEED to draw, you know what I mean? You deserve to draw! The hardest part for like 80% of artists is working around their skill level. I promise you will get there, but for now, you can't let it get in your way. And I realize me saying "oh you feel like you're not good at drawing and its hindering you from doing it? Just do it" sounds like Chad advice but ;---; unfortunately its the reality that comes with being an artist. If you tell me more about what you like to/why you want draw then maybe we can find some alternate lines of thinking that will help you (for example "this tiger i drew looks like shit but drawing all of her stripes was therapeutic and made it worth it!" If lets say you draw as a stim, opposed to "this tiger im drawing looks so bad I can't even look at it anymore " dhsjhd I really hope that this all makes sense lol.)

Moving on, learning how to draw.. this also depends on what you enjoy drawing but my main piece of advice here is study from real life. I grew up drawing cartoons and anime, and now that I want to draw a little more realistically.. its so hard!! If you study real shapes/people/animals/etc it might be easier later on when you understand fundamentals to bend them if you decide to create stylized or surreal art. However if right now you like to draw stylized art, I would recommend to keep working on your personal style while studying from real life on the side simultaneously! Any way you look at it, understanding how shapes, lighting, colour, etc work in the real world will help you out even with the most obscure pieces. And since art is a learned skill yknow you need to build those brain..pathways..and such. Im not a scientist but you get what i mean. Studies are the equivalent to lifting weights! I would recommend the website quickposes (com) they have a library of images that they throw at you at random. The site can explain itself better than I can lmao, check it out!!!

I really hope i was able to offer you something of value here, I didnt mean to ramble so much. I'm excited for you to grow as an artist, I love when I hear about others deciding to learn how to draw ;-; please feel welcome to ask for any clarification (as im having a hard time articulating my thoughts lately) or if you really just want to ask or say anything! ♡♡♡ again sorry if this was more than you bargained for length wise dhsishskshksj

[pinkykitten]

I was tagged by @writing-with-melon I hope my answers aren’t complete waste or if time and if so I’m sorry and I love you

Rules: Answer ten 10 questions, ask 10, and tag 10 people

1. What song automatically plays in your head when you look out the window on a long drive? 

i dont really have an answer for this. i think i just automatically think about any song ive been listening to recently or any song that has been stuck in my head. 

2.  Do you have some snacks nearby when you write?

well i live in a two story house so the kitchen is downstairs and im usually lazy busy so since i have a mini fridge upstairs i just usually get water to drink while im writing. its kinda hard to eat and write cuz i loose focus really easily so when i am writing i am writing! i am in the zone! but if i am a little hungry ill usually snack on candy like chocolate kinder joys i love them but they r so expensive or snack on chips but i get like salt on my fingers or i like cheetos so cheetos dust and that just gets everywhere and later my hands and keyboard kinda smell like fart. 3. What do you do to combat creative burnout?

so burnout happens to me a lot so to get inspiration i either read other stories or fanfics which gets my head gears turning or i admire a piece of art or photography or a song. whats so unique and satisfying with writing you can explore and go anywhere with it, hehehe erotic if you know what i mean lol jk there are no barriers with writing just your imagination. there is inspiration any where you go and id advise to never stop writing. even if its a few short sentences or paragraphs about anything even bird poop its still progression and your mind is working and your searching for words like its all good for you bby.  4. Do you use (or like to use) prompts? 

i do ill put the link here. im thinking of changing it though to do something different. 

5. What is your favorite place to write?

lol boring, i know but my room. my room is really bright in the mornings and comfortable and chill and i have a candle of the pandora ride in disney that smells like the ride so its all good and relaxing and super peaceful plus i have a picture of myself the age of like 9 on my desk idk why but it encourages me and makes me focus to make sure i never get that cringy again. 

6. What is a hobby or yous that you usually don’t talk about?

well i like working out HAHAHAHAHA jk that was a joke...get it...cuz i much rather be eatingokillstop. but i really like to draw which i have a art page you can see it if you click here pls look at my failed attempts to be hip and cool with the cool kids and being artsy fartsy. another hobby is i really like to do makeup and nail art, nail art is really tough guys no joke if you do it like you got wizard powers are something. maybe its bc my nails are shorter than pete davidson and ariana grande’s relationship, alright im trying to stop i swear!

7. Do you play an instrument? Which one?

no i wish though. i always wanted to learn to either play the piano or electric guitar cuz H.E.R looks so cool doing it. 

8. How do you feel about your handwriting?

it sucks dont even try me. my sister can barely read it like no wonder nobody wants to steal my signature heck they can’t even read it!

9. Can you tell us of a story that marked your development as a person? As a writer?

ok sit back guys, sniff a nice amount of crack and get ready for the most cringy moment of my life but also a time when i knew i was meant to be *inhale* a fanfic writer. 

so it was elementary school, i think 3rd grade and for my writing assignment we were given a prompt of idk what the heck tbh i think it was like be outside the box and im like ok imma nail this cuz im a weird child and yeah so i got my papers and pencil and i went TO TOWN on this paper. so i wrote two stories. one short story with a picture to go with it and one long story that yeah i buried years ago. so my first story was about a farmer was about that farming life. he had chickens and dairy. so i cant remember if the cheese was spoiled but doesnt matter. anywho these cheese and a chicken were alive like they could talk in the story and i gave them faces, yikes. but the whole story was the farmer was a b*tch and he was trying to eat the chicken and cheese so they hatched a plan to get away from the farmer. they did it successfully and they ran away. yay happy ending my teacher actually liked that one me too and my school mates were thinking what they heck is this girl on i made a story about how me and justin bieber made cookies for Christmas you know. so then my other story i was more proud of this one cuz it was a tone of paper, sorry trees, and this story was about how a female hippo (girl i was all about plus size and thicker girls and no body shaming) and an male ostrich were kidnapped from their own habitats and taken to become circus animals. failed version of Madagascar hey mine was before the circus movie OK THEY STOLE IT FROM MEEEEE. so they get taken and are treated to harsh punishment and the animals can talk and i think its in the point of view of the male ostrich guy thing. they are in the circus and they start to have this relationship happening. love starts blossoming its all good. im happy with this cuz i believed in love at age of 8. they find a way thru a kick butt scene of the animals escaping and the hippo and ostrich are so in love that they run away together and they have half hippo half ostrich babies and i think i named the species  hipstrich or like ostppo idk but i was so proud of this story and when my teacher read it she was worried about me lol i think she thought i might like mate these two animals like secretly idk but she was like it was ok and i was like what this is frickin William Shakespeare writing or like F. Scott Fitzgerald writing. nevertheless it taught me a lesson that nobody else needs to like what im writing the main point and only thing that matters is if your proud of it and you like it and i really did. i will remember that story forever and thats what made me want to be a writer. lol sorry that was a lot. 

10. @emdop I’m going to use this great question: Explain one of your WIPs in the most ridiculous way possible. 

wellllll im working on my peaky blinders oc story its a lot of drugs money killing weapons jewelry rich profanities like its the show but written from my stubby hands so my oc and whatever its great and so excited to show it to you guys. 

MY QUESTIONS:

1. WHAT MADE YOU WANT TO START TUMBLR?

2. IF YOU COULD CHANGE ANYTHING OF THIS WORLD, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

3. WHAT QUALITY IS IMPORTANT TO YOU?

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE OUTFIT?

5. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE?

6. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SONG IN THE WHOLE WORLD?

7. IF YOU COULD VISIT A PLACE, WHERE WOULD IT BE?

8. WHAT SHOW OR MOVIE UNIVERSE WOULD YOU WANT TO BE IN?

9. WHAT IS THE SCARIEST MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE?

10. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE IN THIS WORLD THAN ANYTHING ELSE?

im tagging: @thatlittlered, @ardentmuse, @acciosnapes, @lotsoffandomimagines, @collecting-stories, @blog-of-a-multitude-of-fandoms, @naughtyneganjdm, @lenahellgizibe and two random followers @spiritsent, @sucker-for-my-fandoms

i was tagged by @writing-with-melon again ty btw, ps i felt so much pressure lol jk 😊

Rules: Answer 5 questions, Ask 5 questions, Tag 5 people.

1. What is your favorite book?

fifty shades of grey hahaha naw my favorite book is obv you all know this is series of unfortunate events but i never usually cry period and i never cry for books ever so when i read mrs. tom thumb by melanie benjamin, its the part when her sister minnie dies i cried so hard idk it was just emotional the wording the way she described her pain it was so beautiful written yet so sad and that was just amazing to me cuz im like this book made me feel things and im like wow i would love to write a book one day and make someone feel something whether it be sadness anger happiness annoyance anything they are having an emotion and that is super powerful to do that with just words. pls go check out that book its a good read. also im a fan of the greatest showman so i really enjoyed it. there are many other books tho that i thoroughly enjoy so much. 

2. What piece that you’ve written are you most proud of?

oh my god ive always wanted to be asked this question hands down i am always proud of my platonic gender neutral tony stark fic called in·con·sol·a·ble window to me i wrote it so sad and i was feeling like depressed lol when i saw peter die in infinity war like i didnt know what to do with my life tbh but im so glad that @impetrichorny requested it tysm i just like how its not based on romance or fluff or happiness it is based on when you lose someone the nightmares and sadness you go through and that there is nothing nobody can do about it except just be there for that person so i really like writing angst and something that was out of the box. ive been thinking tho of doing a part two since the fate of all the characters has changed after endgame. who knows tho. 

3. What is the last song that inspired you? 

well for art it would have to good news by mac miller when i did that kobe bryant memorial on my art page. i dont want to give it away though but ill just say some very powerful womens music inspired my oc writing and making. 

4. How do you feel about letting people read what you write?

at first i was scared cuz i thought i wrote like trash which that feeling kinda doesnt go away like some days i feel that way others i feel confident or it depends on the request it just depends but anyways i was always insecure about my writing so when i started writing it was more like lets see how this goes if not ill delete the whole page. im glad to say it went great but in the begging it was hard cuz i kept putting myself down but i learned to accept or just understand that you keep learning with writing you always learn knew things with writing how you can explain something better or you words get more intricate and people see the improvement and you do too thats why i applaud those who dont speak english that english isnt their first language. you are doing a tremendous job and keep practicing cuz you’re gonna make it to the top. ive also learned that some days are not my days and you can take time off when youre not feeling it when you have writers block. just recollect your juices sip some tea go to the beach relax your mind a little and take as long as you need to come back and give it your all. also comments and reblogs and likes a follows those meant so much to me and encouraged me. thats why i cant express it enough how much all those mean to writers, artist, photographers, anybody who is truly trying their hard in this area of social media. its makes a person happy smile and confident in their writing but first train your mind into loving what you make not what others thing. you have to be happy with the outcome that is what truly matters and what makes your writing the best. look at me getting philosophical. 

5. Do you get distracted easily? If yes with what?

yes and with porn haha i get distracted easily like very easily homeschooling was really tough for me. music distracts me, netflix, the urge to watch david dobrik or unus annus or buzzfeed unsolved on youtube, heck my farts distract me. i gotta be like troy bolton i gotta get my HEAD IN THE GAME!

MY QUESTIONS:

1. IF YOU COULD BE NAMED SOMETHING ELSE, WHAT WOULD YOU BE NAMED?

2. WHAT PERSON INSPIRES YOU THE MOST?

3. IF YOU KNEW THE WORLD WAS ENDING TOMORROW WHAT WOULD YOU DO TODAY?

4. WHAT DO YOU OFTEN THINK ABOUT IN THE SHOWER?

5. WHATS YOUR WEIRD COMBINATION FOOD?

im tagging: @thatlittlered​, @ardentmuse​, @acciosnapes​, @lotsoffandomimagines​, @collecting-stories​ AND WHOEVER WANTS TO DO THIS IF YOU FOLLOW ME OR LIKE MY STORIES TAG ME ILL READ YOUR ANSWERS. HOPE I DID THIS RIGHT SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING MWUAH 

[mieczyhale]

throwing together some of my recent/ish hc posts/tags for @hellomyguru bc its a thing, babey (i have no idea what you’ve seen and what you havent bc tumblr really just suck like that so lmao)

my tags on this post::  #HELL YEAH HELL YEAH #more pride hcs!!! noice!!#i love these sfm#like klaus always taking part no matter how bad shit is bc HIS PEOPLE!!! and ben trying to punch picketers and homophobes is fucking adorbs#and i would kill (whoop) for the day klaus makes ben corporeal during pride and ben can punch all the people and then disappear#vanya’s is cute. come to the light darling!!#and diego fksgjf okay listen whether one hcs him as bi or not this is 1000% something he’d do either way#he’s supportive!!! and he has lgbtqa+ family!!! and nobody gets to be mean to his family but him!!#see also:: the first year after the apocalypse is avoided five decides to tag along when klaus saying he’s taking dave to#his very first pride. he not only enjoys himself but he learns a lot and either then or over the course of the following weeks figures his#own labels out - bc i hc five as asexual and i just have a thing for klaus being the all knowledgeable one about something for once#and his siblings learning about gender and sexuality from him and maybe discovering something new about themselves along the way!#except luther. he’s a cis hetero and we all know it#but maybe he learns to be a good ally. maybe#i mean probably not but whatever#allison is the only other person in the family who i’d even consider calling straight#bc there’s nothing wrong with being straight and i just.. dont have another label that i think fits her really well#so yeah ive got gender and sexuality hcs for them all flgkscndn happy pride month bitches

my tags on this post:: #’you’re telling me this happens every year?? for a whole month??!’ #actually i need every possible concept of dave experiencing pride month and seeing how far things have come for gays#like rainbow shit everywhere#and of course the legalization of gay marriage#out and proud gay politicians and gay people in positions of power#the amount of support that comes when homophobic shit happens now#homophobia isnt the accepted norm anymore#another thing i like is the concept of - either during pride or just in general - dave being excited to learn about the community as a whole#his boyfriend is a nonbinary pansexual and klaus has explained before what those words mean but dave wants to really understand#we stan a supportive and loving couple#dave has a lot to learn in 2019 but i think this stuff would be the most important and have the most effect on him yknow??#shit isnt perfect but its better and now he can work on getting passed the environment he was raised in#so he can hold klaus’s hand in public and kiss him around other people without panicking and eventually he proposes because HE FUCKING CAN#HE CAN DO THAT. HE CAN JUST.. ASK HIS BOYFRIEND TO MARRY HIM. LEGALLY.#good fucking shit

my tags on this post:: #did you see the state of the sky in the apocalypse?? there’s a chance he really wouldnt have noticed#i mean like yeah it could be a funny plothole#but there could also be reasons for why thats not something he noticed#or idfk man timeline shit#maybe the moon didnt explode the first time around#maybe it did and there’s just another moon somehow some way#maybe he didnt notice bc he was first too scared and then too frenzied and angry probably and then he had shit to focus on and math to do#and then dolores wanted to go on dates to the local wine cellars and flat empty areas that used to be parks and then there was spending days#in the library together like having a girlfriend is a lot of work okay#maybe five just didnt have the time to slowdown and consider things like space#maybe his headspace was too fucked#sometimes you just forget about the moon - i know i do!#so sfgksncjf okay y e ah

my tags on this post:: #YES!!! #yes yes yes #okay #so#everytime someone mentions or even hints at dave having anger issues i wanna fucking cheer bc thats one of my biggest hcs for him#like yeah he’s sweet and gentle and respectful and all that - genuinely a good man - our lil jewish gay#BUT#he did grow up in the 50s and 60s which as op said would have surrounded him with a lot of toxic masculinity. now i dont think he would be#a toxic kind of masculine AT ALL but it definitely would have forced him to hide his emotions and feelings and idk hobbies and of course his#sexuality. and i say hobbies bc there isnt a canon answer for it i dont think but i personally hc dave as being someone who loves art#specifically: drawing. dave keeping a lil sketchbook and some pencils under the pillow on his cot in vietnam?? yes please#so anyway yeah - he wouldnt have really had any good examples of how to properly take care of your anger - although he has enough#heart and common sense to know its really fucking wrong to take it out on women and children and people one is dating WHICH - another hc i#have that ties into this is that somehow his dad found out that he’s gay and beat the crap out of him over it. because unfortunately thats a#thing that happens. so his main male example was an abusive pos. and then he goes to vietnam which is fine because its not like he has#anyone stateside that will miss him - that will talk to him anymore - and its a warzone so there are a lot of ways to work out your anger#and yeah that of course includes bar fights. and he does - usually - try and keep a hold on his anger until he’s away from anyone who might#feel threatened - and he doesnt wanna end up taking out an innocent on accident - but he’s not actually perfect and so sometimes he fails#and it happens around klaus one time and seeing his love’s reaction - the making himself smaller - trying to hide - going quiet and so#clearly afraid - and not just afraid but afraid OF HIM - freezes him to the core where he stands because nobody has ever reacted like that#before. or if they have he never noticed or cared because they didnt matter. but this is klaus. his klaus. who he loves and would never do#anything to hurt him. his klaus who he protects and defends and knows he wants to spend his life with - no matter how impossible it is#he wants to go to klaus and apologize - try to undo the damage done simply by him raising his voice and lashing out - but he doesnt know#what to say or how to say it - he doesnt know what to do with the situation honestly. so he leaves the tent and goes to take his renewed#anger and frustration out on whatever he can find so he can calm down and hopefully get into the right headspace to have whats#no doubt going to be a really hard conversation with his boyfriend. because where do you even start??#but of course they talk it out and dave promises to work on his anger and on how he lets it out and yknow.. its dave so klaus trusts him and#it takes some time - there are some incidents - but dave works hard and learns a lot from klaus - including how to unlearn a lot of shit he#grew up with - and its rough but having a partner from the future who breaks all kinds of barriers definitely helps#so y eah. those are my brief feelings on it and i wanna marry op 

my tags on this post::   #!!!!!!!!!!!! #YES #i adore this post#i could never pinpoint why the introduction on the bus made me feel like That but this is it!!#its just so sweet and innocent - even surrounded by other soldiers in the middle of a warring country#the innocence and unbearable fucking adorableness of their first convo on that bus just… its so bright and lovely it makes everything else disappear#the only thing that matters is the two guys getting to experience that ‘o h’ moment for the first time in their lives bc their childhoods#never let them have that #i assume#bc like op said klaus didnt go to a regular school and he wasnt p much stuck in that house and then he was on the streets so#and for dave like.. i guess he could’ve had that moment in school? but it would’ve been one-sided and he never would have#told anyone. 1960s. gay jewish man. yeah.#they’re each others first (and only) loves and i just really fucking adore that and live off of posts about them 

my tags on this post:: #what if he wasnt dead-dead though???#bc like… the day five found them all dead was apparently the day the apocalypse happened right? so its not like they’d been dead for days#weeks or w.e yknow??#and the time between klaus dying and coming back is varying and undetermined - there’s no canon timing for the length of his deaths#so what if he came back to life??#like okay i know its not really possible in canon bc five buried them i think?? or is that a fanon thing??#i cant remembering #anyway#but still - in general klaus not being permanently dead in the apocalypse is another possibility#and five didnt know about it bc after finding them all he began his 45 year journey#and klaus wakes up alone and essentially has to learn to survive and he doesnt know five was ever there bc..well.. yeah#five is long gone#maybe klaus lives out his days in that wasteland#and he doesnt remember it where five does bc five time traveled back and klaus didnt. the klaus that got stuck in the#apocalypse is a different klaus - like a different timeline. the klaus from ep1 never got stuck in the destroyed future so#he’d have no knowledge or memories of it or anything#or - second thought - he kills himself at some point after waking up and either begs god to let him stay dead or he strikes some kind of#deal with her so he doesnt have to return to whats left of earth#oooo or something happened that put a lock on his powers?? like yknow those cuffs and devices and stuff in stuff in fantasy that freeze the#users abilities?? that’d be an interesting plotpoint bc then like who did it and why and what was the last day really like? yknow#vanya’s meds but More is the idea #just a thought#but anyway idk im just a big fan of klaus with the inability to die and all the possibilities that brings 

my tags on this post::   #i’ve actually never stopped to consider why he didnt notice them except for my v first tua watch-thru#which is odd bc like that seems like a thing one should notice after a few watches??#but w.e #anyway#my only other hc for that part of the episode isnt that klaus didnt notice them bc he’s used to guns#it’s that he didn’t hear them#or that they weren’t loud enough -to him- to register as gunfire initially#bc like one of my close hcs is that he has bad hearing. growing up with people screaming in your ears 24-7 365 can’t exactly be good for#his ears now can it? and with how loud some of them are and how close they can get to him - without touching him - that’s just.. a lot of#fucking volume okay#now add in the academy’s mission alert siren#how loud he listens to his music with headphones on when he’s trying to drown out some REALLY LOUD SCREAMING#and then being near gunfire growing up. those bank robbers had guns and weren’t exactly a big distance away#all the raves and clubs and parties he goes to?? places where music is played so loud the room shakes and you cant hear anything else and#the music itself can be heard from blocks away?? that’s an indeterminable amount of intense noise#and then of course the gunfire of vietnam#so like… boys ears have SUFFERED. whether they wanna acknowledge that in canon or not#so the shooting at the theater - the shooting thats IN the theater - which is large and meant to house sound#thats happening across a big city street from where they’re standing and they’re behind the food truck and if klaus was ordering when it all#started that was just another level of sound and he’s not exactly focused bc everything is awful yknow?? so either it takes him a second to#notice or register it on his own or maybe he doesnt and ben says something?? idk but that’s kinda the field i’ve landed on for that scene#not that im not here for op’s hc!!! bc it really is a good one and it makes sense. im just rambling my own theory here bc i like considering#the Ways for Things sometimes. esp with klaus involved. this does make me wonder tho… if his hearing somehow is -fine- in canon…. h o w?#bc like bitch who tf can take all that and have perfect hearing?? thats gotta be impossible. if they are fine is it related to his powers#somehow?? like.. does his casual passing between life and death all the time mean he doesnt have mortal ear weaknesses? its weird but im..#i’ve got theories. 

my tags on this post:: #probably in the massive fucking pockets of his fluffy coat#see also:: a dealer’s place #a boyfriend’s place#an ex-boyfriend who is also a dealer’s place#a girlfriend’s place #a partner’s place#all ex’s of course bc dave is the only valid romantic relationship#he made friends with the person who owns a nearby thrift store and they help him out#he has a locker at a public place like the ymca#he only has one outfit before returning to the mansion so he has nothing to carry - ever on the move#he thiefs off of people in rehab and crackhouses he stayed in that are dumb enough to leave their shit unattended#when he sees something he likes or he feels its time for an outfit change#he mostly sticks with his lace up pants as far as bottom pieces go bc its much harder to sneak away with skirts#and the kind of crazy pants he likes. there’s only room for one pair of pants for this pan disaster#after returning to the mansion he has access to the funky gay clothes he had managed to aquire before leaving all those years ago#bc like… i kinda hc that he got out of there fast and probably higher than fuck and had nothing packed#have you ever tried to pack while high?? it’s harder than it has any right to be#crack theory:: he had a bag - we just never saw it bc in the beginning he wore it under his floofy coat bc safety and he didnt need it the#rest of the time.#i have a lot of thoughts and headcanony opinions about klaus’s time on the streets so thank u#for giving me a place to dump some of them   

[katojordan]

6 Things Art Has Taught Me

I’ve begun to notice I have this NEED to create and build stuff.  If you have seen any of my social media stuff I think it apparent.  I do quite a bit of art stuff like drawing, painting and on occasion jewelry or clay or even wood working in my spare time. Some stuff I've made includes a longboard, a desk, a cello, and currently a mandolin. I've spent countless hours using drawing to relax and unwind, that got me to where I am. Sometimes the hardest part of the drawing is finding a decent picture. Over the years there are a few principles that I've used while drawing that apply to more than just drawing and painting. 

1. Being patient when it's not what I was expecting and not giving up when I don't like it This seems to happen to me regularly in art. I was drawing a rose in white chalk and had been working too long in one sitting. I looked up compared what I had against the picture I was drawing from and to me at that moment it didn't even look like a flower. I ran in the kitchen, grabbed a damp rag and began to wipe from the corner of the canvas toward the charcoal. I came within centimeters and stopped. I was starting to see the flower come through. Never ever had I been so hasty to completely destroy a picture before it had time to grow on me. I threw the rag on the floor, closed my drawing book, and worked on a different drawing. The next day I opened the drawing book and was surprised at how good the rose looked. My recent endeavor of learning oil paints has been the same experience. It's hard for me to wait 2-3 days for layers of paint to dry where as before with use of acrylics I had maybe 10-20 minutes of drying time. 

 My perspective in the moment may be disappointment or frustration because plans, circumstances, dreams aren't looking how I thought would look. I've got this far and it's nothing like what I thought it should be. It's the expectation gap. The gap between what I expect and reality. The difference is what I do about it. Give up, start over, or tweak it until I like it. Most of the time I struggle to see how I'm progressing but when I step back and give myself time to see how far I've come I always am thankful for not giving up.  

2. Practice makes me better 

 No matter what the context, practice betters your skill. Whether it's guitar, voice, studying, drawing, driving a car, biking, cooking, or snowboarding, you will get better over time. If I devoted the time I spend on drawings to other things I'm sure I could be much more successful at those things. (I many times get told I have too many irons in the fire and I should stop and just pick one. It seems like I could be diagnosed with ADD in hobbies. I love doing a little bit of everything). 

The hours I spend making the same little stroke for hair or stomping in my shading work gets the picture to what it is. It's practicing over and over and over again until that stroke becomes easy and natural. Practicing until I like what I see. It also gives me license to experiment with techniques and practice things I haven't tried before. Practice makes the drawing process faster. What used to take me literally 20 hours now can take me 2 hours. Every drawing is just practice and improving for the next one. I believe there are few ways you could practice drawing wrong other than just not doing it. But as with everything else in life there is usually a right and wrong way to do it (as I've found with teaching myself instruments). Practice purposely, intentionally, and the correct way at what you want to get better doing.

 3. Learn from mistakes and failures and move on 

 Yes, even with cool stuff you may see on my Instagram or Facebook--all of my well done art--I still screw it up horribly at times. Sometimes it just doesn’t turn out the way I intended now matter how hard I try (even after giving it time to grow on me). With drawing and painting it's generally very easy to erase or paint over a mistake. Drawing with pens, oil pastels, charcoal, colored pencils and other mediums that just don’t erase I find myself having to roll with the mistakes and work with it. There are drawings that I’ve got almost all the way done with and just stopped because it just wasn’t working. Sometimes it just doesn't work out. Many times instead of erasing, I just grab another piece of paper and start over or I'm able to work it into the picture so most people will not catch it. Its the failures and mistakes that I don’t allow people to see, and sometimes people get the perception that everything I draw is a wonderful perfect work of art from the very beginning. It's a process. Even my finished paintings and drawings I'm rarely satisfied with every part of it. There tends to be always something that I wish I would’ve done better with. This one is hard for me in life. I find it's not so simple to just move on from mistakes and failures. I tend to want to dwell on them wonder if I could’ve done something differently. They stay with me and I don’t want to repeat the same mistake and have the same failures so I want to avoid anything to do with whatever circumstances caused it. It's easy to say from an art stand point because my life story doesn't rest on one picture. But sometimes it seems as though my life rests on a few large decisions and it's terrifying to think I might be able to screw that up by doing or not doing something. 

 4. Take a risk

 I love a good challenge. As I've taught myself to draw I've progressed through various subject matters that interest me. From animals to people to scenery to action sports and a little bit of still life even though that still bores me. I'm always looking for the next thing to draw that will be a challenge and in that I take a great risk of it not turning out how I want. I take a risk on a challenging picture just to see if I'm able to draw it.   I control every brush or pencil stroke and even yet it might not look like what I expected. I take a risk every time I do a portrait (many times without permission, a stolen profile picture from a friend's Facebook😬) that if I show it to them will they like it or maybe just lie to my face. I take a risk, a small risk, every time I post to social media. Will I get praise or criticism? How will I handle either when it comes? I'm building a mandolin right now. Its risk is what if I mess up an angle and it doesn't play right? Well what if. I have a hard time trying not to live in the what ifs. I like to have thought of everything, every possible way it could turn out but sometimes you have to step into the unknown and confront a friend, or share something personal, or talk to that stranger. You sometimes have to do stuff you've never done before.  Its in that risk where you learn and grow.  Take a risk.

 5. Don't let criticism steal your passion

 It's hard to hear someone's criticism of something you put effort into doing. And not something that I've done haphazardly with little thought. I took time, I cared, and people don't like it or think it looks bad. Its easy to take the criticism of and few and make it personal, "these few don’t like this picture or what I'm doing, therefore I'm bad at it." It's harder to hear criticism from those I love because they're opinion holds more weight. It stings a little more to have someone close to me point out something about a drawing that's not right, other times it just frustrates me because it seems like Ive done all I can do to fix it already and nothing is working.  Many times I can already see the problem spot and people just want to point it out for the sake of pointing it out. It's disheartening to get a lot of criticism on a project but it's a drive to make it better. I admit it's easier to ignore what people are saying altogether and leave a drawing alone or I can pick out the truth about what's said and fix it. In the end they may be seeing something about it that I am unable to see. 

 Don't let people's criticism steal the fun out of something you love doing. 

  I want to be a person who can take criticism well. Allowing that trusted friend Tell me how it really is, point out the areas that I need to work on, show me my blind spots and not get offended or make excuses. This is hard! 

 6. Embrace the process 

 This part in art and music is fun, the same part for me in life is not. In art stuff it's fun to search for a picture and think of every possible way I could do it. Decide on paper size and medium. Lightly sketch it in. Take time to fix perspective mistakes. Start shading. Smooth shading, sign name. That's the process in the most basic form. Every piece is a little different based on difficulty and subject matter. Painting involves many more steps and techniques sometimes I'm not sure how to go about the process. Every aspect of music is a process. From learning an instrument, writing music, recording music, playing music live, producing music. It's something I rather enjoy doing. Using the process to create and be creative. The end result of a song is rewarding but all the middle is where you really live and find inspiration. The middle of the process reminds you why you do what you do.

 In life I don't like the process. All the beginning and middle stuff is the worst. Most of the time I just want to see the end result without wanting to spend time on getting there. And most of the time I don't even know what the process is going to look like in life. I mean with drawing I always have a fairly good idea of what I want it to look like by the end but in life the season may end up completely different. I never thought I'd be doing this, be here, have these people as friends, not be friends with so-and-so any more, all because I had no idea what the end result would be during the process I was in. Even though I so very badly want to know what the final destination would look like. I really need to learn to live in the middle of the journey better and be content with progress during the process not just a destination. #WeGetThereWhenWeGetThere

[itsjustmepolly]

“Living Out of Water” Part IV

Pisces woke up. She found herself sleeping on a canvas. The night before she had been very determined to finish her art work. But at some point she got so terribly exhausted that she let go of the control over her body and fell asleep wherever gravitation found suitable to place her.  She got her head up and looked around. The girl was used to seeing chaos that pervaded the house. The current order and the fact that she could actually see the floor felt strange. She got the sudden need of looking at her reflection. It had been long since the last time she had seen her face even in a puddle. She was always too busy admiring the things and people around her, seldom remembering about her own external and internal beauty. But where had she put the mirror? Oh, yes – right next to the bed. It was on the floor, so she crawled towards it. And there she stood. Her skin was rough because of how poorly she treated it. That didn’t matter, anyways.  Her hair was as messy as ever, but finding a comb was too much trouble. Half of her face was covered with paint due to her extremely unusual pillow from the previous night. Washing her face would have to wait, though, because the most important thing at that moment was to check if the painting was irreversibly damaged. She headed for it so hastily, she almost stumbled upon the paint container. Fortunately, her precious work was not completely ruined. More paint would have to be added in order to compensate for the one that ended up on Pisces’ face, but other than that everything was fine. Instead of immediately trying to fix it, the girl just stayed there and contemplated the canvas, wondering if it wasn’t actually even better after the small ‘accident’.  Someone knocked on the door. That was very strange, considering the fact that she never had visitors. No one really knew where she lived. Could the visit be ill-intentioned ? Or could it be something life-changing in a most wonderful way? While Pisces was yet again overthinking, a second knock occurred. She finally decided to go for it, no matter what could happen - she opened the door directly, without even asking about name or intentions… “Hi! I am a traveler and while I was walking around I saw this cute little cottage and I wondered if you’d be so kind to put me up for the night. Also I saw you the other day at the river, but I didn’t know that this was your house. It’s really nice around here. Your house is nice as well… I mean – it needs a little bit of refreshment, but it has potential,” it turned out that there had been nothing to fear indeed. At her door was one completely safe-looking slender youngster with quiet long legs, arms and neck but at the same time a short trunk. His eyes were blue, with a childish spark; the features of his face - sharp, but eye-pleasing.   “Nice to meet you, sir,” Pisces said with a warm smile, “What is your name? Forgive me if you have already mentioned it, but it is hard to keep up with the speed of your speaking.”  “Oh, no… forgive me for not introducing myself. I am Gemini. And you are…?”  “I am Pisces, and I would be glad to help you. Here, come,” the girl stepped aside and let her guest in.  “Thank you so much!” As soon as the boy entered the house, he started curiously looking around, “Oh, are these paintings yours?”  “Yes. I recently finished some of them. Last night in fact.”  “They are very beautiful and interesting. A perfect reflection of their creator,” was he flattering her? Whatever he was doing, it felt nice. Pisces hardly ever received any compliments. It probably had to do with the fact that she spent most of her time alone.  “Um, thank you,” said the girl, with her cheeks slightly blushing.  “Once I was at an art festival and there were many incredible works, like yours. All of them had a very specific and exciting backstory. I remember one of the artists saying how his masterpiece had been inspired by a young beautiful lady that had left a huge imprint on his life. The image illustrated was not of the lady herself. He had painted a thin stream winding about some white stones. Around the water delicate flowers graced the landscape but behind all of that the sky was depressingly grey. The man said that the image represented the scene that would remain in his memory forever – the way his lady had cried when she had found out they would have to be separated due to some reasons that I don’t remember… anyways, what inspired you?”  There was so much to say, but where to start? She had always wanted to talk about that and felt unusually excited about having to explain something.  “Well, I don’t have such a specific story like the artist that you mentioned but I always have so many emotions inside of me and so I just let my hand pour them out using a brush or a pencil or anything that I could possibly use. Sometimes I am sad, and I am not exactly sure why, so I don’t have a particular image in my mind that I want to draw; I just use colors and shades that resonate with my emotions. Same goes when I am happy. There was once…”  “Very interesting, very interesting. Oh, you write poetry as well?” –the boy interrupted and grabbed the poem which he saw on the shelf nearby, “May I read it?”  “Oh, yes, of course.”  “Absolutely incredible! I have a friend who writes poetry too. He has told me so much about various famous poets and their pieces. Come to think about it, I don’t remember much about their work but I remember every single one of their names. You want me to tell you some of them?” – said Gemini after reading 4 lines from a 34-line poem.  “No need, thank you. I know a few but I hardly go to the library.” –finally having someone to share her art with was amazing, and Gemini seemed to know a lot of things. Nonetheless, Pisces felt like he didn’t really understand the concept of art and the emotions behind it, “Do you want to go on a walk in the forest?” Pisces enjoyed the new look of her house but she had been there for far too long already. After all it was nearly noon…  “Yes, I’d do with a forest walk. Especially in such company.” That made Pisces smile bashfully.  They sauntered for hours on the way to the groove. Not because they couldn’t walk fast if they wanted but Gemini would stop every other minute, point at something and begin yet another story. Pisces took interest in his words, but at times did not pay attention to them because he was changing the subject much too rapidly. She needed time to think on the new information. When they finally reached their destination Pisces lay down on the ground and breathed in deeply. She was utterly exhausted. Physical exhaustion had nothing to do with it though… it was due to the longest and most energetic conversation she had ever had in her life. After only two minutes of rest her companion broke the silence again.  “Oh, look a squirrel! Did you know that squirrels tend to run in erratic patterns in order to deceive their potential pursuers…”  “I love squirrels, they are so lovely!” Pisces had faced Gemini and so the squirrel which was apparently in the opposite direction was out of her sight. The girl hadn’t intended to move any time soon but seeing a sweet little squirrel was always worth abandoning her comfortable position.  “Sometimes they only pretend to bury nuts in order to mislead the…”  “Don’t you see it is trapped under a branch?!” In a blink of an eye Pisces was already halfway to the suffering animal.  “Oh. That’s right. Poor thing. How is it that I didn’t notice?” Was he feigning? Pisces didn’t care much about that now. She had to release the squirrel.    When she was about 3 meters away, she stopped and started approaching more slowly so as not to stress it. She squatted carefully, lifted the branch, and put it away. The squirrel lay in the grass, confused. It seemed as though it wanted to stand up but could not due to lack of energy. It might have been under the pressure of the branch, struggling with the racking weight for a day or even two without any food and water. Surprisingly no predators had noticed the defenseless potential meal.  “There, there sweetie, I shall bring you home and everything will be okay.” Pisces took the squirrel gently in her arms. A tear streamed down her cheek. She wasn’t sure if her rescue would turn out to be in vain or not. The girl could almost feel the pain of the squirrel. Or at least it seemed so to her. Gemini came closer too, “Oh, our little fellow is male. Don’t worry, he will be fine in no time.”  “What if it is too late?” – asked Pisces with her tears still not wiped.  “Life goes on,” he paused, “Come on now, let’s…”  “What do you mean “life goes on”?! This animal has been lying there in agony for god knows how long under that branch and you don’t even care? Have you no pity for the suffering?” Why did she scream? She knew it would not make things any better but the fact that some people could be so careless pained her. It just didn’t make any sense to her how one could possibly see a suffering creature, and remain untouched.  “I am sorry for not choosing my words more wisely. I…” For the first time he was speechless.  They walked in silence. This time with a considerably higher speed. All of a sudden, Gemini swerved away of the established path and started running towards something. He got back carrying some sort of a herb which was not familiar to Pisces.  “This must help heal the injuries on the back. I saw there is a little bit of blood. Once my grandma used this herb to heal me when I was a child. As soon as we reach your house I will take care of it.”  Pisces smiled slightly. Perhaps he wasn’t so hopelessly apathetical.  And indeed when they finally arrived, he placed the herbs over the wounds and wrapped a cloth around the body. He then petted the animal on the head. Even though she was still sad, Pisces couldn’t help enjoying this beautiful moment of care.  They had a humble dinner. Pisces found nuts, stored some time long ago under the cupboard, and fed them to the squirrel. Every bite was given and received with love.  When it was finally time for bed they realized there was only one in fact. Pisces insisted that she should sleep on the ground and Gemini, as her guest, should take the more ‘luxurious’ option, but he didn’t approve of that plan. Eventually, they agreed upon putting a blanket as a border and sleeping on the bed together… or separated, depending on where you look at it. Their new little fellow would sleep on the soft symbolic border.  In the morning, as soon as Pisces’ eyes opened, they sought for the squirrel. Not for fear that he had run away of course. The dreadful thought that had haunted Pisces’ dreams was that the little fur-covered belly would no longer move lifted by breathed in air. But the more Pisces stared at the animal, the more she realized that for the first time, her dreams had been realistic. Tears were already at her eyes. But they were not tears of grief. Nor of joy. They were simply tears of emotion. She had really hoped that time would spare a few more minutes for her to have that fluffy thing running about the house, creating a mess along with her, and making her laugh. But the important thing was that he hadn’t died hungry, agonized by pain, with misery as a sole terrific companion. He had left this world sleeping on a soft blanket, belly full of nuts and most of all – surrounded by love.   She took her never domesticated pet in her arms, stood up and headed for the door.  “Are you alright?” Gemini asked with a sorrowful voice. Pisces wondered if he had been awake all this time.  “I am. He is now too.”

~So that is perhaps the longest chapter yet. I hope you’ll enjoy it. I would like to mention that this book is full of symbolism and hidden messeges so look out for those. If you want to read the previous chapters use the “livingoutofwater” hashtag(don’t forget to switch to “most recent” because otherwise you won’t find anything). Unfortunately the hashtag does not work for chapter 1 so if you want to read that scroll down on my Tumblr account or even messege me and I will send it to you. Have a nice day! :)