#ive completely stopped arguing with people and just say 'read the news' and thats it

[othercrossee]

Kinda insane some of y'all defend people who deserve to die with such. Passion

[mrsmount16]

Hey I was wondering if you could write a MM imagine where him and the reader have only gone on a couple of dates then when the announcement of the first lockdown is made he asks the reader to isolate with him? Then I was thinking while they’re isolating they’re experiencing a few Firsts with each other (e.g., cooking together, sharing a bed, movie nights, cuddles and kisses etc).

I didn't know how to write this without being super long and boring so I was going to section it off but hopefully it still gives off the same energy then a normal write lmao, also thank you for the request and this is such a good idea 😩. I didn't really know what other firsts to do😕 I haven’t proof read this either, so it could make no sense at all and probably have spelling mistakes but pls just power through it 🤞🏼

Warning: None.

Lockdown was being announced and everyone was panicking, the news emphasised on the amount of food people were buying and how there was no loo roll left but also about how relationships weren't going to work out due to being locked in the houses for all this time without seeing your significant other or because you was seeing them too much.

You had only been on a couple of dates with Mason, but you both knew that you wanted to pursue something more personal and deep and not just mess around for the fun of it. Thats why when he asked you to isolate with him you didn't hesitate to say yes. Even though the news told you otherwise of how to feel you simply ignored and couldn't wait to spend as much time with him as possible, building up a true connection between you both and making your bond stronger.

Cuddling and kisses and sharing a bed.

You arrived earlier in the day and had already taken your things to the spare bedroom and now sat on his couch, him on the opposite side. You guys hadn't stopped talking throughout the whole movie that played and eventually when it ended you insisted that you bought a takeaway for the both of you.

He agreed and when the pizza arrived you both sat at the table and had a slice, talking endlessly about random things like 'why colours are named what they are' and 'how were humans created'. After about an hour, it was dark out and just turned 9pm.

"I'm gonna get comfy and ready for bed."

"Yeah, I'll meet you up there in a few." He smiled and kissed your cheek, grabbing the box and walking off outside.

It was pretty cold out so you pulled on a hoodie and joggers, and you removed your makeup and cleaned your face and teeth and sat on the bed in the free room on your phone.

He knocked on the door and peaked his head through the door frame at about 10.

"You coming?" He gestures to his room.

"Oh yeah, hold up." You smile watching him leave.

He lay on the bed on his phone, lighting up when he saw you enter.

"You don't have to stay in here if you don't want to." He stated, watching as you climbed into bed next to him.

"No, I want to." You snuggled up next to him, resting your head on the pillow.

"I want you to, too." He put an arm around your waist and finally rested down after turning the light off on the bedside table.

You were both submerged in complete darkness, a tranquil atmosphere surrounded you both, the duvet lazily spread across you and your faces faced each other. His eyes were closed, but you lightly leaned in and pecked his lips causing him to open his eyes.

"Goodnight." You said, looking up at him.

"Goodnight pretty." He smiled, kissing you again lightly and resting his head.

You fell asleep in his arms, totally engulfed with his care and serenity, it rubbed off onto you. This was the best sleep you ever had in ages, and you wanted to do it a lot more.

Cooking.

"Hey! Thats not where the flour goes." You retaliated at Mason putting the flour on your nose, a sneeze followed shortly after.

"Oh, my bad." He giggled, sticking the rest of the flour in the bowl.

"These are going to be the best cupcakes you have ever baked."You said, mixing all the ingredients with all the strength you had.

"Yeah? I reckon by myself I could cook some pretty good cupcakes. With no help of Course." He leaned against the counter, his apron said 'world best chef' and he was covered in all ingredients that you didn't even know had to be in the cupcakes.

"Well, we will see about that once you taste my cakes." You smirked, sticking your tongue out at him and wiping a little bit of frosting on his cheek. "Got u back." You giggled.

He grabbed you by your waist and pulled you closer to him so your front's were together.

"You look amazing cooking.." He cheekily smiled.

"Not too bad yourself." You kissed him, he deepened the kiss and ran his hand up your back, until you felt a hard crack on your head and then an ooze of a liquid go down your back, mason was laughing uncontrollably, holding his stomach and near enough rolling on the floor.

"Mason!" You shouted, shocked and holding your head, "Did you just egg me?" You laughed, grabbing the egg that was on you and smearing it all over him.

"Two can play that game!" You giggled, grabbing flower and eggs.

Fight and makeup.

"No, I just don't particularly like her. You told me about what she did, she's a bad influence." He argued back.

"Oh, so she's a bad influence? So you think I would do something like that?" You scoffed. Your friend invited you to go on a walk around the park, and you told Mason but when he heard your friends name he instantly scoffed and shrugged his shoulders. He had no care about it and sighed, telling you to just 'do what you wanna, your choice at the end of the day.'. You asked why he was being so moody and he replied that he doesn't like her, and you understood why but because he didn't like her didn't mean that you couldn't hang with her. You did tell him that she did cheat on her boyfriend and you completely disagreed with her actions too but now he was saying she was a 'bad influence' like you was going to be influenced by what she did and start following her actions like you was a child.

"Its only for a catch up Mase, I haven't seen her in like 3 weeks. I haven't been at work remember and ive been locked up here."

"Yes, but anyone but her. We could go. I't doesn't matter, just go. Ill see you when you get back." And then he stormed off up to his gaming room, releasing all his stress on his games.

After about 40 minutes, you realised he was right, it wasn't just the cheating but she just overall was a bad person and you shouldn't have been encouraging such gossip with her.

You entered his room and put your hands on his shoulders, he looked back at you and then carried on his game like you wasn't even there.

"I'm sorry Mase, you was right. I can surround myself with much better people, and I will."

He turned his chair around so he was facing you and grabbed your hips to sit you down on his lap.

"It's okay, and ill go on that walk with you. Let me just finish this game." He said, smiling lightly and giving you a kiss which you returned.

Go-to support.

It was about 2 months into lockdown and your work had been piling up. You was stressed and so not motivated to do anything, even getting up out of bed was hard.

This day was particularly a struggle. You had to finish a presentation and only had today to do it, so you panicked and speeded it, finishing it as quick as ou could without caring about the outcome and just sending it off.

You sat at the kitchen table with your face in your hands, thinking about all the possibilities, will you lose your job? Will you get demoted? You just couldn't stop your mind from wandering.

"Are you okay babe?" You heard Masons voice from behind you and felt a hand on your back soothing you.

You couldn't hold it in anymore and broke down, whimpering and wiping your eyes.

"Mason I need a break from work, its so stressful and I think with the work I just did I'm going to lose my job and im just not motivated to do anything and I-" you rambled on, until he cut you off.

"Hey, hey calm down," He crouched down and placed his hand on the side of your face, wiping your tears away with his thumb. "Don't beat yourself up about it. It's happening to everyone now, im sure if we ask your work to give you some time for your mental health im sure they would let you." he smiled reassuringly.

"We?" You sniffed.

"Yeah, we. We're gonna get through this together. Now, it's always we." He stood up and hugged you tight.

Love and a movie night.

It's been about a 5 months now, and you and Mason had been going strong.

Mason insisted that you watch a movie tonight, sit down with some popcorn and snuggle up together. Of course you said yes.

About halfway in the movie, a conversation popped up about 'what would you do if you was a worm?' and you couldn't stop laughing, at both of your responses.

"Yeah, but I would definitely still love you if you was a worm." He joked, laughing with you.

You stopped almost instantly, looking over at him.

"What?" He looked over, confused.

"Did you just say that you love me?" You questioned, sitting up.

"You didn't hear? I love you." He smiled, chuckling.

you gasped, putting your hands over your mouth. He reached out and grabbed your face.

"I love you." He repeated, just for you to realise what he did, so you could know that it was real, to process the words.

"I love you." You stated, grinning from ear to ear.

[garrothromeave]

the hell is mystreet season 6??

(warning, long post ahead)

ok so before i start this

1) ive never posted shiiiit on tumblr before so watch me suffer, im just here to talk about stuff that my friends who dont know anything about aphmau have to listen to me rant about for hours on end

2) i havent seen mystreet in like years (except season 3, i watch that frequently since im laurance and shadow knight deprived) so please bear with me because i might be completely wrong on this lol. it’s just like, pointing out things i remember

3) im sure someones already talked about this but who cares

4) im gonna do this stupid thing where i just explain myself a bit at first, if you dont want to read that just skip to the part where you see “the actual thingy:” in bold and italics 

5) mild disclaimer; i am completely aware that jessica is not a professional writer. i know that she did her best to appeal to her fans, and honestly, respect for that. while this post will come off as aggressive and probably look like hate, that’s not my intention in the slightest. it’s just... intense criticism. im sure y’all probably already know that, but yeah, just stating that anyways. i do believe that jess is doing her best, and in no way do i want to dismiss any hard work she’s done. that being said; prepare for a very strongly opinionated post.

haha watch there be 10000+ typos in this making me look like a complete dumbass

ok here we go 

one of the main reasons i stopped watching aphmau back in 2017 was the mess that was season 4. like, in the first few episodes of the emerald secret, i thought “woah!! this is kinda cool, im a sucker for mystery!” because of course i was, it was something new and something exciting. the only problem i had with it at the time was kim, but that’s just because i always found her annoying and out of place. i just didn’t understand why garroth dragged her along and honestly i still don’t to this day BUT, moving on.

anyways, as the season progressed, 13 year old me was of course just “:0!!” the entire time--that is, up until the reveal of the main villain. i remember watching the episode, seeing the reveal of ein, and then stopping. like, just for a quick break, but i was still just overwhelmingly disappointed. like, and this was the time when pdh was airing and ein just got made alpha (i think?) and i had really really liked eins character in pdh. either way, that really sucked and actually opened my eyes to a lot of things.

one of the main things bein’ the fact that this was supposed to be a slice of life kinda series that decided to take a turn to a more edgy kinda approach. which, i guess i regularly wouldnt mind? but seeing as mcd was kinda bein neglected at the time it just didnt sit right with me. BUT WHATEVER, point is i stopped watching mystreet all together at the end of season 4.

like, a whole year later my brother tells me that shit’s getting intense in season 5 + 6 of mystreet, and my brilliant self decided to give it a shot--but i refused to watch all of season 5, so i only stepped in when ein made an appearance. so whenever that was, that’s where i picked up because i didnt care enough to see 

and y’know--i honestly didn’t hate it at first. in fact, i found it oddly cool. it wasn’t enough to get me into aphmau again, but it was enough to where i was intrigued. i dont know why, but i never watched the finale, so i didnt see the ending until just a few weeks ago--but back then, i thought it was neat. looking back on it however... im just so confused. 

side note: only got back into aphmau this time around because of mcd. mainly because like, i adore the first season and the first half of the second season. and being nearly 18 now, im a lot more appreciative of plot and well-written characters n junk. 

the actual thingy:

ok back on track. imma stop spilling out my story of how i got back into aphmau, and lets just skip to what rewatching mcd made me realize of season 6′s plot and shit:

-emmalyn. how the fuck does ghost even remotely exist? if she’s emmalyn as claimed, then why have we already seen emmalyn in the mystreet universe alive? look i get that creators can do whatever they want with their stories but at the same time please provide some sort of explanation good god. and maybe they did and i just havent seen it, so if there is one--let me know. but until that day imma just sit here confused as fuck

-ok so imma just be real, the whole ‘ultima’ thing is just... not great. in my opinion, anyways. like... i saw someone mention this in another post, but if this ultima stuff was like, a really big deal, why isnt it mentioned in mcd? though i suppose since its a curse of sorts, it could be later on past the time period in which mcd takes place--but even then, how did it manage to make its way into aaron’s family bloodline? 

-WHY IS EVERYONE AT STARLIGHT ITS JUST SO CONVINIENT like what happened to this place being the most expensive shit on the planet or whatever, and how the gang happens to run into like, the werewolf trio and blaze and kai and guy and nate all of these people like god damn life doesnt WORK LIKE THAT 

-im sorry but turning people into relics? thats... thats the best you could come up with? plus, like, how does that even work? in mcd it’s established that relics are separate entitles that choose their wielder, based on a ‘personal’ connection (being a descendent of a previous wielder) or if they’re a good match personality and (i think?) moral wise. so the whole turning-people-into-relics doesnt make much sense to be honest. 

-irene really over here using her god powers to only keep her friends alive like god damn not a great god if you ask me 

-can i talk about how incredibly predictable aphmaus death was? like i just kinda sat there waiting for it to happen and when it did i literally went “haha! wonder when she’ll be revived” because god forbid we actually kill off characters 

-when aphmau + demon warlock fought in the irene dimension there was no passage of time whatsoever in the real world whiiiiiiiiich really bothers me because they fought in there for at least a few minutes

-speaking of aphmau and the demon warlocks fight does it bother anyone else that it had to be aaron who took over the fight?? like we get it hes the big protector blah blah blah but god damn it wouldve been cooler if aphmau had fought this battle as her. aaron fighting this battle was so underwhelming

-...love. like, thats the only thing thats needed to break out of a forever potion? love? LIKE YEAH, GOOD GUYS GOTTA WIN SOMEHOW, but its just so cliche and overdoneeee

-oh yeah and also when travis went bonkers and became the demon warlock or whatever, why’d he only take over katelyn and garroth?? like, zane had been influenced by the potions in the past as well? DONT GET ME WRONG--i do love some good brother edge, but uh, the demon warlock was just bein kinda a dumbass by not possessing zane too just sayin’

-can aaron please go to fucking jail for mass murder now like holy shit, he just got sent home on a fuckin boat. also why did blaze forgive him for killing him thats not even remotely realistic. then again, nothing in mystreet has ever been realistic when it comes to characters and motives and personalities, (cough katelyn being actually abusive and travis being an actual pervert) but yknow whatever

-katelyn and kawaii chan literally added nothing to the plot whatsoever. like lets be real, katelyn lost her personality the moment season 5 started and kawaii chan just kinda sits there :I

-ok im sorry this was bound to come up but cmon guys imagine laurances potential if he was in season 6 like god damn this is beyond maddening. AND YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A REALLY REALLY COOL PARRALLEL?? IF IT WAS LAURANCE WHO SNAPPED GARROTH OUT OF HIS MIND CONTROL THING, because it would mimic laurance’s speech to get garroth to snap out of his rage in season 1, episode 100 of minecraft diaries. like how fuckin rad would that have been? missed opportunity 

-also?? why does kim/ghost know magicks?? like, if i remember correctly, emmalyn is a scholar--not someone who knew magicks. i mean, i guess research? study?? but its been established that knowing how magicks works =/= being able to use magicks. i dunno, just doesnt seem right i guess. maybe its explained, i wouldnt know (yes i know that makes me look like a dick leave me alone)

-melissa should have stayed dead. LIKE, NO, ITS NOT AS SIMPLE AS “haha it takes more than a few bullets to kill me”??? look ive got nothing wrong with melissa (cough lie cough) but yknow it would have just been cool a character... stay dead? for once? its just too fuckin cliche that shes alive god damn

-can i also just say the only good thing that came out of season 6 was travis’ dads sacrifice like damn that made me actually sad

-howww was lucinda turned into a relic. or yknow, anyone else? like im sure they explain it better in the actual show i just dont remember, but its just that easy? turning anyone into a relic? granted, a normal person wouldnt be able to produce a good relic, but idk man. IM JUST SAYING; that the only really powerful relics that aphmau should have been able to wield is the one that aaron + zane produced because shad relic and esmund relic moment. lucinda isnt even like, connected to a divine warrior. ALSO, another point, if its seriously that powerful of a relic getting one from just a magic user like lucinda, why go through the trouble? i mean i guess ofc youd want the “all powerful” one that the ultima produces but i mean damn whats the point

-ok this is just going to bother me but in one of the episodes (i think might have been in season 5 actually) where that like, guardian dude was chasing aphmau and zane and at one point they split up and the dude just chuckles at zane diverting paths and goes under his breath “youre not the important one here”, suggesting that aphmau somehow is? first of all, id argue that any ro’meave is significantly more important than aphmau was, especially not knowing much about her other than that shes with aaron. i might be missing some bits an pieces, but if i was that dude id forget about aphmau and go after zane 

-killing off derek for shock factor sucked, and i know the moment was supposed to be really sad because like “oh :( aarons dad is sacrificing himself for his son” but lets be real dereks still was a shitty father and i dont think his reasons for doing what he did was very good at all

-less about plot or more like: why the absolute fuck did the gang bring kim along instead of, oh i dont know, a life-long friend? like, laurance or dante maybe?? im sure its explained, i never saw aphmaus year or most of season 5, but god DAMN id hate to be apart of this friend group AND GOD LIKE, imagine reconnecting with an old friend who ends up getting closer to your best friends and taking priority in their lives over you (cough laurance) like god damn lol

-im just going to preface this one with: i dont remember everything that’s happened, so if im wrong i apologize in advance--but (you actually can correct me if im wrong and please do) didnt like, irene reincarnate her friends in order to give them better lives? I DONT KNOW IF THIS IS TRUE, ITS JUST WHAT I REMEMBER--however, if im correct, then:

a. why the hell would she bring back someone like zane, or gene, or ivy, etc.

b. why the hell do they all have the same exact names? first and last? again, im aware that the whole mystreet+mcd tie wasn’t originally supposed to be there, but i dont think that means such a coincidence can be excused? its just a bit much if you ask me.

c. why the hell is the fact that (as much as i literally hate this) aaron is a decedent of shad being ignored? like, you’d think that something like this would be something thats actually important, or something the demon warlock couldve taken advantage of. or are we completely erasing every other connections to divine warriors besides aphmau + irene? because even if irene did reincarnate them or do whatever it is she did, does she even have the power to sever the connections between them and their ancestors? my guess is, no.

d. speaking of irene why on earth was aphmau able to talk to/see irene, they’re literally the same person are they not? did she like, fuckin reincarnate herself without actually doing it?? BUT--i will give it to them, the demon warlock did refer to aphmau as something along the lines of being “one of the 3 parts of her broken soul” or something like that. however, my point still remains. also what are the other two did i miss that or is it never explained

now; if irene in fact did not ‘reincarnate’ her friends then please ignore that little bit right there :)

but yes, those are a few of the problems i have with season 6 off the top of my head. i would go into like, season 4 and 5 more as well, but i honestly didnt feel like it. at some point i might go into other things, like how important laurance could have been to the plot of these later seasons, or HELL, even dante. i might also go into what could have made season 4, 5, and 6 actually good--maybe... a rewrite? perhaps? but im getting too far ahead of myself, so i just leave you with this for now.

and i know that as soon as i post this 15 more things are just going to pop into my head BUT im going to try and not edit this post because why stress myself with that even more

anyways thank you for coming to my tedtalk 

[vanityloves]

🎫 here's a gush pass! feel free to gush about whichever f/o you want, however much you want, then send this ask to 3 other selfshippers!

oh man, thank you jsjsj ive gotten a few of these but ive been too anxious to actually go off ab my f/o but, lets fucking gooooo!

can i talk ab the actual animation of the source material is that allowed?

they gave us this but we ended up with

WHICH LISTEN- I enjoy n love regardless. I just find the contrasts in phases fascinating and funny. I loved his appearance in phases 1 and 2; what a fucking iconic character design. The animation is so endearing and amazing- the thicker lines, the fluidity, the range. Like the first gif that shows the vibrations of the vehicle in his shoulders/shirt? The simplistic art style was nice and even if hes Hard On The Eyes, I'm like 🥴 ok ugly ❤.

Not like the newer mvs are any less quality content - its nice to see the use of thick and thinner lines and there's definitely a different feel to it - more child friendly or easy going? Idk how to explain it. Murdoc as a character is still very, Not Child Friendly, and Im always like :cursed emoji: when someone says that their 14 year old watches their videos like help, his dick is out in at least 3 dif vids (censored ofc but man).

They definitely lost me after the 4th phase though and many people argue that the band/music lost its meaning, which i can honestly agree with (esp when they didnt name officially name 4, 5 and 6. Im p sure ppl refer to 4 as We Are Still Humanz).

I was never an avid/active fan of keeping up with the characters and didnt really think they had any story anyways, i was like "feel good inc is sexy. melancholy hill's a banger" so honestly, finding out that these apes actually have lore was fun.

Murdoc being the given this tragic backstory made my eyes Zoom, and ofc I was like "oh youre funny looking and sad. I want you ♡." In a weird way, I take a lot of comfort that 'we both have shit parents' and 'no one really thought we'd amount to anything'. to be fair, i haven't accomplished anything yet, and even if hes a bunch of pixels who i know doesnt really exist, its kind of motivating bc he never gave up? A literal quote from him being "If there’s a dream in your heart, never let anyone tell you you’ve got no talent. Get out there, embarrass yourself, and prove to the world you’ve got no talent." With how many failures hes faced he never stopped trying to prove himself worthy of attention and fame and love, which is ambitious and kind of intimidating with how much confidnece he has.

Hes a complete bastard of a man and not even close to being a good person. He's definitely complicated but can be boiled down to "just an abusive asshole", which, hey, fair. I hate the way he treats 2D, its so toxic and terrible. Honestly, its inexcusable and he needs to apologize, grow and learn a LOT and god knows he needs therapy.

I think the most tragic thing ab his character is that he basically ended up like his father and to some extent, he acknowledges it. His bad habits and behaviors stem from abuse and neglect which doesnt excuse his actions but, "man hands on misery to man." I feel like theres a haunting part to his whole life - we don't know much about his mother and brother but from assuming things, I know they weren't innocent, clean, or soft spoken, let alone, kind. I think he has a "It runs in the family" mentality and gives into it bc there's no use in running from something so deeply engraved within him.

But as a man of contradiction, hes shown to care, despite "hating everything, including himself". To be short, his father was a failure and a man thats never worked for his own money, so he contradicts that and escapes that part of 'failure running in the family' by forming Gorillaz. I do think theres something way more ab his character in that regard. I think theres a lot that he needs to work on but he's escaped a part of that mindset, and his 'Plastic Beach'. I wonder what theyre gonna do with valley of the pagans thing.

I guess as a band, theyre not gonna show a lot of "behind the scenes" stuff like that. We wont know if he ever gets help, or apologizes, or even feels sorry - its up to us to decide which is a safe game to play on Their Behalf.

People are upset that hes actually cleaned up a bit and is shown to be nicer bc they miss having that disgusting, cruel man which again, I understand. He has always been the antagonist to the entire band. But as someone that likes to see people happier n mellow (or, boring) rather than doing shit and compensating for their depression, its nice to see that type of development (or downgrade, depending on how you see it).

This could be Their (read: jamie and damon) way of being lazy by making him 'mellow out w/ age' or whatever it is. It definitely seems to woobify his character and intentions but well, His Main Goal, Was To Blow Up. And Act Like He Dont Know Nobodaaayyy argargarg and guess what? He's already made it- he's successful, he's rich, he's famous, he's adored. Now what? Maybe this is just his way of taking it easy from here on out - who knows.

Gorillaz definitely took a turn after all the brand deals so it lost its meaning (since one of the phases had a 'fuck capitalism' message) and with that, Murdoc is no longer allowed to be the stank bitch hes was always meant to be, no more obvious sex and drugs, for the new gen 🥴 ironically a lot of songs 'today' are always complained ab being ab sex, drugs, and whatever, but they def needed to step on the breaks when Money/Companies got involved. So here we have The Wigglez 😌💕

ANYWAYS, I LOVE HIM LOTS, HAVING MANY THOUGHTS

[faunusrights]

OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 19

IN THIS EPISODE OF MURPHY IS SCREAMING, CONSTANTLY, TRAPPED IN THEIR PERFECT NIGHTMARE:

Glynda was saying: “I know we aren’t friends. I know we aren’t partners. I know you’re a criminal. But—I think I can trust you. I think I have to trust you, even if you’ve done awful things before.”

EVERYTHING GOES WRONG BUT LIKE SOMEHOW WORSE THAN EVER? LIKE A WHOLE NEW BRAND OF LOW. LIKE CINDER’S GOT A PICKAXE AND THE CENTRE OF THE PLANET CALLS FOR AID.

IT’S BEEN A WHILE HUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but dw offal hunt, like the rising of the sun, the arrival of winter, and the eventual downfall of capitalism, always returns. so lets go.

(i just quickly reread chapter 18 liveblog to remember what happened and Ah Yes I Remember Now. The Suppressed Memories)

The place was emptier without Glynda. Quieter.

/gunshot oh we’re in danger right out of the gate huh? we got some yearning right out here? right now? how quickly the turn do tables.

Cinder appraised her work, holding the beige coat up to the light and squinting.

man i forgot. i FORGET. how much i just love cinder in this fic. sometimes she kinda zones to the back of my mind where she sits waiting for me to start thinking about her again, but now i remember that this cinder is Peaque. look at her GO, minding her own BUSINESS. im proud of her. does she know i love her.

It didn’t take long to don her new, fire-proofed clothes.

in another world, in a more comical plot, she used asbestos. it didnt go well.

The subtle warmth of the Dust teased tension from Cinder’s stiff muscles, even as she marvelled at the strangeness of her own bedroom’s space. It seemed bigger now than it had the last two nights.

h

She chose not to dwell on it.

h

i choose to dwell on it! ME!!!! I CHOOSE TO DWELL ON IT. HEY CINDER WHAT THIS GAY SHIT. hello. ma’am. can we look deeper into this. i, for one, would like to, and i, for one, think its of value to think abt this. that said, small segue

Quietly, Cinder murmured, “I didn’t freak out.”

THE FACT SHE SAYS IT ALOUD LIKE EM AND MERC CAN HEEEEEEAR HEEEEEEEER i am. INFATUATED with this family. cant wait for the 100k spinoff thats basically an elongated beach episode where they go to like. alton towers. or butlins. six flags??? thats a thing in america right??? anyway. beach episode. call me. (wink wink nudge nudge push push shove shove)

 We had to stop back in because Merc left his favorite binder, and it was 2 in the morning, so it was easier to crash here for the night than mess with the ship’s autopilot.

them,,, THEM!!!! mercury is just a son and childe. thast it. he canot change this. i love these kids so much i am SHAKING THE MONITOR RN!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAA

Stuck here in one of the homes they’d shared, Cinder missed them terribly. Missed the sound of their voices and the easy comfort of their presence. Finding the time to contact them had been difficult, between managing Glynda and Hati both, but Glynda was gone, and she’d sent Hati onwards to Atlas. She remembered her call with Emerald, before arriving in Umbraroot; she knew it had not soothed her or her fears.

im sorry was this chapter targeted at me, specifically, as a human being on planet earth? GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THIS FAMILY!!!!!!!!! THIS WONKY OLD BANDAGED UP FAMILY UNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!! i thrive every time they are mentioned on the page. it is a blessing. my succulents grow stronger each time they show up.

“No,” Cinder argued softly, “I had to. Mercury, you deserve to hear it from me as well. I am sorry. And I am promising you: I’ll come back.”

For a long, heart-wrenching moment, he was completely quiet. It was good that Cinder was alone in the apartment; laying herself bare like this would be unbearable with an audience.

GODDDDDDDDDDD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

i am OBSESSED WITH THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM GOING TO BE THINKING ABOUT THIS UNTIL I D I E. of all thing the remaster does better than og, this is just. SPEEDING AHEAD. this whole CONFLICT this whole MESS just makes everything so much RICHER its like when u splash some wine in yr fancy food or stick some cinnamon on yr favourite desserts u dont NEED TO but it adds that lil SOMETHING,,, that little KICK that just ties the flavour profile together and in this case ofgughugguhu it just GIVES SO MUCH. im making SNOW ANGELS in the WORDS on the PAGE.

“Mercury. If I could prove it to you, I would. But you have to—trust me. For just a while longer.”

“It’s getting harder,” he said. He didn’t sound like he was lying just to hurt her. That wasn’t spite. That was honest anger. And it made her feel like dirt.

im less picking these for specific instances of like, things i want to say, but more just because bits of this r rly just so /chef kiss. cinder has these.... endearingly (take that whichever way u like) human qualities in OG to rly make u realise she had ties to add to her #Doubt but the remaster is just AMPING it up and u FEEL IT and ive never been more SYMPATHETIC to a round-faced sinnamon bun of assholery and fire id DIE for cinder fall and this is a fact PUT IT ON MY GRAVESTONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Is there anything you need?” What was this? Cinder could barely focus on her words. It felt like... “Anything? At all?”

“We’re fine.”

“Mercury, wait please—” She was losing him. “I think—”

“Just hurry up.”

The line went dead.

this place is not a place of honor.................. no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here........................ nothing valued is here................ IM DYING

Cinder began to type out her response, and that was when the nausea really kicked in. 

[...] 

She recognized this now.

Glynda.

stress stress stress stress STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

There shouldn’t be anybody. Cinder had done everything in her power to cut Glynda from people who would interfere. To isolate her. Make it easier to bring her to Atlas, to the frozen north, to her mother and the machine…

Cinder’s esophagus quivered; furiously, she shut her eyes and thought of nothing.

god cinder don’t remind me that you’re an asshole and dipshit and also a moron im trying to be NICE and CARE ABT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STOP REMINDING ME YOU’RE A PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

FOR FIVE MINUTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The front door clicked open.

Cinder couldn’t have said how much time had passed, only that it had passed slowly. What she did know was that it was Glynda returning, the sensation of boils bursting wafting off her soul. It crawled over Cinder’s flesh. She curled in on herself.

There were mites under every nailbed. Salt in her weeping mouth.

offal hunt’s brilliant use of this horror aspect is something i have tried previously to emulate and here’s a fact, take it from me: that shit is HARD. offal hunt consistently able to whack those real nasty, really Disgusting vibes on the head EVERY TIME is a work of art. i mean, kc and diesel do not fuck around, and therefore i am NOT surprised, but it’s only when u try this shit yourself that you realise: this is hard! this is difficult! it’s a huge testament to how GOOD this fic is in every way. also this whole fucking body horror aspect is something i didnt know this fic needed, but it did, and here we are. 

Thickly: “Things were going okay. If you hadn’t gotten nasty, I might have smoothed things over. I could have fixed things with my son.”

with my son

with my son

with my son

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I CANT TAKE IT EVERY TIME ITS TOO MUCH FOR TO BEAR I CANNOT HANDLE IT I CANNOT STAND IT ITS LIKE BEING SHOT JUST DIRECTLY IN MY DICK

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

im like sweating rn

Glynda said, “I’m scared.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to tell you.”

I SAID IM SWEATING

Glynda asked, “Are you lying to me?”

And Cinder said, “What?”

“About me. About Witches. About Ozpin—” Cinder’s guts went sour. “—About anything. I need to know if I can trust you.”

I SAID I! AM! S W E A T I N G

“I know you’ve lied to people. Hurt people.”

Adrenaline and the image of her kids’ faces behind her eyes made a potent, sick cocktail. “—Not. Now.”

so lets like double back to when i said hey was this chapter written to target me specifically and as it turns out, yes. yes it was. yes it was and as MUCH AS I AM LIVING FOR THIS MOMENT THIS SWEET BUILDUP THE EXPLOSION AND THE CRATER IT ALL LEAVES BEHIND

I

AM

so this next bit is like. i cant really quote one section but as i was saying in Vague DMs, this whole bit feels like wading through mud. usually if you say something consumes energy to Read it’s in a Bad Way when yr bored but this is more like. you Feel cinder all over everything feels so sluggish and it’s like dragging your own corpse around as you try and leave and you’re TIRED and your LEGS HURT and you’re kinda thinking god what if i just fell face down for just a moment of my LIFE.

The putrid weight of Glynda’s soul filled the room until there was no space left for her.

it’s like being trapped in a sauna, like getting stuck in a humid waiting room. where do you GO. what do you DO. god this whole section is fantastic and offal hunt NEVER fails to fucking nail the Vibes but reading it is HARD. i literally keep having to stop and breathe like ive been holding my breath. jesus h christ.

a small intermission for a mood:

“Get fucked.”

back to regularly scheduled hell

Out of the bedroom. Down the hall. The walls were sweating with heat. She tasted smoke. 

i love that i just said how i feel like im trapped in a sauna and it turns out: thats because me and cinder both, baybee!!!! hahahaha help

Glynda’s soul chewed her to the marrow. “Move, Glynda.” 

cinder being hunted at the start of this fic: teehee! im running away! now im gonna getcha! heehee! arent i clever :) cinder being hunted now: this uh. this blows, actually,

Cinder’s pulse roared in her ears. Her hands twitched. She smelled Ochre Brown’s round face melting off. His wide smile shattered with each of his teeth, going black and popping like corn.

this chapter is probably my favourite so far for this blending of so many elements. i cant even begin to like. THINK STRAIGHT about how all of this is tying together. the lore. the THEMATICS. like i said this character rly is just Rich with what og lacked and oh is it RICH. im gonna read this chapter in future and see so much that i know ive already missed. holy shit.

“Ms. Fall,” she said. “The White Fang requires your presence immediately.”

NOT NOW

Cinder stood there looking at it for a moment. Her thoughts were slow. Copper-tinged. Something small and indulgent whispered to her through the blood-fog.

It was obvious enough what would happen if she got into this car. The driver would take her to a secluded place, where she would be ambushed by a squadron of battle-hungry White Fang grunts.

They’d try to take her down. And she was a killer, wasn’t she? Ochre Brown wailed in her ears with every thump of her runaway heart. Her hands itched for action; her teeth, for blood.

She’d burn them black.

never mind! you are already dead,

She thought about Glynda. About her saying that if there was trouble with the Fang, she wanted to come. That she would fight for Cinder.

She thought of Glynda’s question: What aren’t you telling me about Ochre Brown?

Yeah, fuck that.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A CLIFFHANGER!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A MOMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!! MORE MOMENTOUSLY: WHAT A CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is EASILY my favourite chapter so far. EASILY. everything about this was peak offal. the relationships. the dynamics. the dialogue. the vibes. the Grossness. the fighting. the EVERYTHING. this is some other level and its BITCHIN. PEAK. that said im now very tired. im going to have a cup of tea and Consider Things for a few hours. brb.

[kitdrago]

But it wasn’t like that....

First off, as always, my opinions are my own only and do not necessarily reflect to any of the groups or organizations I am involved with. If you don’t like my opinion, thats ok.  We can talk about it, but leave them out of it. ---------------- Lately Ive been seeing a lot of posts about how “X” wasn’t like that when it started, or during the <insert years> or whatever. The most recent was a comment along the lines of “Furry didn’t start out as LGBT, so it shouldn’t be about that now.  Stop making furry political”

Which to me reads  “I’m LGBTQuiltbag-phobic and I want them to go away from furry”  Maybe the person meant that, maybe they didn't.   The statement above is about as insensitive and incorrect as saying “Professional football didn’t start out with black players, so it shouldn't have them now.”   Both statements are wholly incorrect and extremely inappropriate.

So lets take a look at this.

First of all... Furry has never been about politics.  People are political and congratulations you just roped furry into your political (for lack of a nicer term) opinion.  Furry STILL isn’t it itself political, but the people in it are and because a predominance of us are LGTBQuiltbag in some way or another, we kinda have to be whether we like it or not. Who we are as participants in the fandom is under attack, (not to mention out in the real world) and to sit by and not say anything or trying to erase it from your view of what a fandom should be is EXACTLY why we have to be.

I’m one of the lucky ones.  Im Poly^2  (polysexual / polyamourous) i can consciously make the decision to present myself as heterosexual only, but I need to stand by my family and friends who don’t have that option and speak loudly.

Secondly:  Lets assume for just a moment that the person is ACTUALLY old enough to have been alive and active in the fandom 30-40 years ago.  (its more likely this is a 15-25 yr old).   The fact is that the furry fandom itself had to exist in the “subculture in a shadow” bubble until sometime in the last 10 years.  Oh sure, we had our conventions and gatherings, but predominantly they were viewed externally as “the weirdos in animal costumes are getting together for sex again”.  So negatively that we outright banned news media from even entering the convention space, let alone to talk to people out of fear of them twisting the truth to fit the narrative of the “sexual deviants in animal costumes”. Considering what the fandom itself had to do in a time period where homophobia and (what we thought was) high levels of hatred for all things not hetero-normative white male. Most of us would have kept our rainbow flags and interactions predominantly hidden to hotel rooms and known-safe room parties.

Now, I don’t know this from direct experience because I was still finding myself and hadn't really found the furry fandom until 15-20 years after that.  When I found it, we were still kinda hiding, pissed off at CSI, but very VERY much known to be LGBTQ.  We exist in a fandom where only 20-30% of its members describe themselves as exclusively hetereosexual (1).  So like it or not, LGBTQ is very much a part of the furry fabric.

The reality of the statement whether that person realizes it or not, is that it is an attempt to try and erase at the very least the history of the fandom.  At the worst, the existence of 70-80% of its participants.

So what should be learned here:   All things evolve, and all things change.  Even if we pretend that at the very beginning of the fandom that LGBTQ was not in any way shape or form a part of the fabric of furry, it IS a part of it now.   There is no going “back”.  You can’t argue something that is so interwoven into the fabric needs to be pulled out without completely unraveling and destroying it.  The fandom has and continues to evolve into (hopefully) better forms. 

It ok if you don’t like it, and its ok to have a discussion about what you don’t like. Until you try to “Make Furry Great Again”, or try to erase that which furry is now.  At that point, you can either make a conscious decision to learn and better yourself, or you need to decide if this fandom is the right place for you and step out of the way.    

There’s no going back

(1) http://furscience.com/research-findings/

[sass-cass-writes]

Floating Downtown - Part 2

Title: The Hunters Club

Author: @sass-cass-writes / @sassy-castiels-angel

Description: Sammy its time to face your coulrophobia with Pennywise! With a string of disappearances occurring in Maine, the Winchester Brothers and the reader, a vivid Stephen King fan, try to stop the monster that snatches children and kills them every 27 years. But what will happen when the circus comes to town?

Characters: Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Reader, Beverly Marsh, Demons

A/N: Reader is speech impaired after being tortured by Abaddon’s right hand man and having her vocal cords destroyed. Ive never written mute characters, so this is a first. If anyone has feedback, please give some!

Warnings: brief PTSD of torture, gorey description, angst(?) clowns

tagging: @totallyluckycoffee / @dixonlover1605 , @wonderavian

READ PART ONE HERE, GIFS ARE NOT MINE

You felt the metal on your neck, its chilling tip dripping with death as it dug into your neck. The demon’s eyes were dark and bottomless. You tried to whimper, but how could you? You were scared. The tip of the scalpel dug into your skin cutting through the five thick layers of you neck as his hand expertly dragged down the metal tool as if completing an operation. You screamed, your muscles tensed and pulled making the pain even worse. Thrashing and writhing, your eyes strained at the immense and excruciating pain you felt. They slowly cut your throat, blooding flowing heavily onto the bed and into your lungs as you started to choke on your blood. While taking this opportunity, the demons placed the scalpel under the muscles and flesh that produces your sweet and comforting voice according to Bobby. He started to pull upwards. The scalpel sliced through each stretch of muscle. You tried to screamed but you couldn’t. One muscle, two muscle. The demon smirked evilly. Even worse, the demons were Sam and Dean. SNAP! The final cord and muscle broke as you laid there thrashing weakly.

“Oh sweetheart,” The fake “Dean” said as he stroke your hair gently. You shake as you try to move away. “It hurts us that you’re being put through so much pain.” He smiles cockily exactly like him. “But you have to understand that this is the only way to protect us,” motioning to him and fake “Sam”, “and you care about us, right?” You stay quiet. As much as you want to swear at them, curse and scare them saying the Winchesters, the real, HUMAN ones would skin them alive, you couldn’t. He smirks and mockingly places his hand behind his ear and leans in. “Sorry, I didn’t hear you.” He reaches over and caresses your cheek as you bleed out. This wasn’t the end, they’d bring you back, harass you, get their cursed hands all over your body, cut you up until you die from shock, pain or blood loss. This cycle was repeated daily for the past week. It was even worse seeing that they were also messing with your mind, making you believe Sam and Dean were hurting you. Every bad word they said stung worse than the physical pain. You, surprisingly of all people, started to pray to Castiel. Every night you’d plead him to rescue you and the realisation dawned on you that he wasn’t an angel but a human now. So what could he do? You cried wanting to go home to the confines of the bunker. At least there, demons and monsters were warded off against.

“Y/N?” The question snapped you out of your recollection. You jumped up to see rain drops hit violently against the windshield and slide fast alongside the windows. Lighting struck somewhere in the distance. 1…2…3…4…5- lightning struck again. You sit up and groan, rubbing your head Sam’s jacket draped over you. “You okay?” Sam asked as he drove. The road was pitch black, Baby’s lights illuminating whatever in her path. The radio was on as it played your favourite mix tape. You all had one, you remember Dean making your very own. It was a mix of classic rock, new age and a bit of Australian songs. Dean and Sam had gotten used to your mixtape, even Dean’s favourite collection of Metallica wasn’t favoured as much. Chris Rea’s “Let’s Dance” had just finished with its brass instruments in an upbeat tune and guitar strums played in sync. Prince’s “” started to play, and it was one of your favoruites.

“Dearly beloved,

"We are gathered here today,

"To get through this thing called loved.”

Sam looks at you and smiles a little as you drive in the rain. You nodded in response to his earlier question. He nods and drives tapping the wheel as the techno pop sounds of ‘Prince and the Revolution’ filled the impala. “We’re about forty-five minutes out from Chicago, wanna pop into a motel for the night? OR would our princess prefer a five-star hotel?” He laughs a little as you punch his arm from the pet name and joke. You signed an answer.

“Motel, jackass.” You smile a little. Sam’s phone rang and sure enough it was Dean.

“Get this kiddo’s!"Dean reported into the phone. "I found Abaddon, figure I can take her out."You and Sam looked at each other and sighed.

"Dean,” Sam started. “Wait for us to finish this case and then WE can go kill Abandon.”

“Sorry Sammy, I gotta do this, the Mark’s getting worse.” Your face fell at this. You were there when Dean and Cain exchanged the mark, how it glowed bright red as it formed the cursed seven. Dean reassured you that everything was going to be okay. Last words you ever heard before you got kidnapped. You and Sam sighed, and so did dean after a while. “I’ll wait, just in case something happens.” You and  Sam smile a little. “So where are you guys now? Princes staying in a hotel?” Sam laughs as you flip Dean off and sign to the phone multiple curses. Dean knows what he did, and he laughs a little.

“We’re coming up to a motel now.” Sam said, wheezing from a little laugh.

“Why stay in a motel when your riding in one of the best home on wheels ever? Besides you’re forty five minutes out, don’t waste it.” Dean says, almost offended that any grimy motel was better than the 67 Impala.

“Its 10:43 at night Dean.”

You give a deadpan look a look over at the back seat. And your thoughts were proven right. You signed to Sam your response.

“There’s stains on the apolstry from Dean’s "extracurricular” activities back there!“ Sam snorted a little and laughed. Even though he wasn’t there, you could feel Dean frowning in response to Sam’s giggles.

"Did you just offend my baby, (Y/N)?” Dean almost growled, Sam wheezed and forced his giggles to a halt, you smirking in pride.

“(Y/N) said, from what I understand, that she’d rather spend a night in a grimy motel than a backseat with your cum stains on it. She doesn’t wanna get the clap from you.” Sam said bursting into a tiny giggle as the line went quiet and you couldn’t help but smile widely.  He hangs up as Sam steered the car into a motel lot and got out to book a room.  Whilst he did so, you grabbed the bags and ran inside out of the torrential rain.

-•••-

The next day, you and Sam headed to the office warehouse of Beverly Marsh. Pulling up to the curb in the impala, you stepped out in your FBI suits and walked in grabbing a file and notepad. Walking in, the creek of metal glistened as machines whirred and fabrics torn.

You screamed as they brought the hammer down on your delicate fingers, the force of the steel alloy on the wooden pole impacting with the thin layer of skin and brittle bone. They repeated the motion, until your nerves and bones were broken into nothing but clumps. You screamed and cried as the cold air pierced the open wounds.

“(Y/N)?” Sam asked, grabbing you out of your daze, as your hand felt numb. You looked at him and walked towards the main office a few floors up. The whirring of the elevator above you made you think about the drill.

It spun and whirred quickly as they brought it closer and closer to your face, a scare tactic. You leaned away from it to avoid its impact, until it’s breeze caressed your cheek. The fake “Sam” held you head firmly in place as “Dean” pressed the drill against your cheek. Your skin tore and twisted until in broke from the extreme force as blood splattered and flesh twisted and flew as “Dean"pushed the drill into your skin. The major nerves in your cheek had got caught in the twisting of the metal extension as they tightened and stretched until they snapped making you scream and bite your tongue. Your nails dug into the wooden chair as your gripped it tightly as eyes wide as you whimper. "Sam” held your jaw tightly so you couldn’t cry out. God let this be the end!

“(Y/N)!” Sam gripped your shoulders, gently but concerned as he jolted you awake to the reality. He was kneeled down in front of you as you were cowered in the corner, arms over your face. “Hey, its okay.” You leaned into him as he helped you up and held you. “I got you (Y/N), thats all behind us now.” You nodded as he kisses your forehead and stroked your hair. You looked at him. He didn’t deserve you, he’s too good for you, all you deserved was a translating machine. Not this fucking 6'4" sunshine ray of comfort and sass whom you’re in love with. He tilted your head up and wiped your tears away with the gentlest touch as he gives a small reassuring smile. The elevator comes to a halt as you step back and straighten your dress as Sam does the same. You hear arguing from the office and you instantly raise an eyebrow. A man in a black suit was arguing with a woman wiht fuzzy brown hair, that must be Beverly Marsh. You and Sam walk closer as you knock on the door.

“Who the hell are you?” The man almost yelled.

“Tom, dont talk people like that!” Beverly chastised as he stared at her. You and Sam pulled out your badges and showed them to the couple, Tom’s face falling into one of hidden panic.

“I’m Agent Farris, this is my partner Agent Hutchence. We’d like to talk to Miss Marsh.” Sam said as you both put away your badges.

“We’re about to close a deal with Japanese investors, it can wait.” Tom scowled as he gripped Beverly’s arm and proceeded to the door. You were quick to grab the man’s arm and stop him. “Don’t touch me Agent, I can call you for assault.” He sneered as you stared at him. Sam growled at the man. Nobody ever talked to you like that and walked scot free.

“Five minutes.” Sam growled as he walked to Miss Marsh, Tom reluctantly letting go and walking off pissed. Once he was far away, Sam muttered; “Asshole.” He sat Beverly down as she looked down embarrassed and scared. You gripped her hand reassuringly and smiled. She smiles back as Sam begins the questioning.

“Miss Marsh-”

“Call me Bev.” She requested.

“Bev,” Sam paused. “We came to you because we want to ask you about a string of murders happening in your hometown of Derry.” At that instant, colour drained from her face and swallowed as if a fish swam through her throat. Sam noticing this, softened his face. “I’m sorry-”

“No it’s alright,” Bev reassured. “I just- Derry was a bad moment in my life. I’m sure you’ve heard of psychiatric reports.” She laughs little awkwardly.“

"We know ma'am. But we also know there was an incident with six friends of yours back in the summer of 88’. And people have claimed to have seen a clown.” As if at the word clown, Beverly’s face fell and became scared.

“A c-clown?”

“Yes,” Sam says leaning in. “Bev, just tell us the truth, because we’re going to end it.” She nods and sighs. She began to tell her situation as of 11 years old and how she befriended six male friends. And how he had haunted them. How they defeated him. It sounded so familiar.

“We had went to "It’s” hiding place in the sewers, and we had lost track of Stan along the way. We were scared.“ Beverly said as she fiddled with her fingers, scared of retelling the story.

"Beverly, you said defeated him.” Sam asked as you saw Tom striding towards the office angrier.

“Shit”

“Yes, we had found out tha-”

“I can’t hold off the Japanese Investors time anymore Beverly!” Tom roared, as he looked to Sam. “It’s been well over five minutes Agents.” He strides to Beverly but you once again grab his arm and stand up, giving him a stern look. “Get. Off. Me.” He sneered, the strong stench of alcohol in his breath.

“How about you show her some respect you son of a bitch.” Sam defended as he walked over. “She’s done more good than you ever had. And although she’s mute and lost her voice, she didn’t loose the respect and pride she has.” He stands in front of you and stares at Tom.

“I should go.” Beverly says as she stands, “We’ve been waiting for this deal for a while. If you have any other questions, please ask.” You nod and tap your chin lowering your hand as you sign “Thank You.”  Beverly smiles. “So thats why you didn’t talk, I thought you were shy.” She smiles as she walks out Tom following.

“What a dick.” Sam growled as he turned to you. “You okay?” You roll your eyes and nod closing your notepad full of notes.

“You shouldn’t have aggravated him Sam. As much as he deserves it, he’s not worth it at the same time.” You sign as you look up at him.

“He shouldn’t have talk to you like that (Y/N), you don’t deserve it.”

“Sam…”

“Don’t Sam me, (Y/N). Sam pleads almost. "Men have to respect you, not throw you around like nothing. You’re smart and beautiful, caring and selfless as well as bloody amazing.” Your face softens at his description of you. It’s almost like he’s saying he- NO, he doesn’t. Before you could respond, he walks- no, storms out and to the elevator. You sigh and follow, seeing Tom down the hall gripping Beverly’s arm tightly to bruise her. That would explain the bruises on her legs and cheeks through the make up.

Sam waited for you in the elevator as you walked in. It wasn’t long till you were driving back to the motel.

[jooheonies]

Aight imma call you anwar now so you know it's my dumb ass but I want to read ur jooheon essays bc he destroyed my bias list as well as shownu but jooheon still is just a dream of a boy every man on this earth should aspire to be as beautiful of a person as jooheon

oh! wow ive been given free reign??to discuss my love? for jaaneman jooheon

lee jooheon is fucking perfect to me okay? like as monbebes, we always talk abt his stage charisma and stuff, but honestly? jooheon owns the stage, the way he raps, the way he moves with the music, is so utterly raw, it’s like he’s pouring his everything into the music. the way he spits out the words, does the little lilts in tone, growls out the fading bits, jooheon becomes the music, like he is the song. this isn’t even because he likes the song or smth, jooheon just has such a strong passion, a driving energy, it’s like everything he does up there on the stage is bc he loves it and he wants to do it jooheon becomes the song because he doesn’t know how to do anything but

furthermore i would like to bring a new item of discussion to the table as an unpopular opinion: jooheon is not 2 ppl–soft offstage, charismatic on stage. in fact, they are both amplified aspects of lee jooheon. 

ok okay hear me out. look, lee jooheon is different than jooheon of mx, right?  okay so lee jooheon is actually  rlly sweet, but slightly more reserved than jooheon of mx. and you can argue w me on this, but my man and i literally have the same fucking birthday so fuck off i Get Him (im joking i promise im not a bitch). okay so moving on, here’s what i mean: he plays the whole role of the cutie, the lil adorable fluffball, but jooheon isnt a huge fan of physical affection unless you’re close with him and That right there is lee jooheon not jooheon of mx. literally he would only let minhyuk actually cuddle him as of recent–jooheon fucking loves it when minhyuk hugs him or cuddles him. and im not saying he outright rejects hugs or affection, but he really only initiates this when he’s completely comfortable with you, like wholly and fully is close with you. however, he’s been getting closer and closer with the members and now he’s comfortable with even kihyun hugging him. but see, his affection is interesting, bc it’s like he doesn’t necessarily like it, but he knows what helps his members out. when changkyun’s nervous, or a lil fidgety, jooheon is quick to put his arms around him, to rest his head on changkyun’s shoulder. jooheon picks up quickly on people and their personalities, which then helps him figure out what he has to do to help them when they’re upset.

my point is, jooheon amplifies the cuteness, the fluffiness bc he’s trying to become a better version of himself. the jooheon we see offstage is actually an amplified aspect of lee jooheon, just like the jooheon on stage is an amplified version of lee jooheon’s passion. jooheon of mx embodies the raw passion lee jooheon has, the energy, the drive, everything he loves. so the jooheon of mx we see is actually the parts of lee jooheon that he amplifies! so what im trying to say is that jooheon is actually giving us his real personality through joohoen of mx. this sounds fucking weird and also like i spend wayyyy too much time analyzing him, but the thing is, we never realize that when we get jooheon of mx, he’s actually feeding us his favorite parts of lee jooheon, the boy who just really fuckin loves music and is sweet beyond words. jooheon of mx is lee jooheon, but the parts that he wants us to see, the parts he knows will make us happy.

jooheon is so completely selfless, like everything he does is just to make people happy. the cuteness we get? bc he knows it’ll make us happy. the hugs he gives the members? makes em happy. the way he carefully cheers on each of the member? good loRD hes so fucking good at that. lee jooheon is KING of soft compliments, of “wow! u hit that high note really well!” to kihyun when they’re reacting to their stages and kihyun looks nervous (boy always looks so stressed abt his lines – breathe baby, breathe) or “ooh, have you been working out?” when he sees hoseok walkin around in tighter shirts or telling changkyun ”brooo ur flow” like it’s all second nature to him, it’s like an extension of who he is. that is lee jooheon transitioning and bleeding into jooheon of mx.

okok also! i love the way jooheon doesn’t pit himself against anyone! like kihyun also does this really well!! they get better bc they want to get better for themselves! when he practices (think back to no mercy) he doesnt think “oh wow, i need to be better than X person”  he critiques himself, he anazlyzes each and everything he does, down to the little noises he makes, the way he breathes during certain parts. jooheon doesnt think that he should get better because someone is catching up to him. he gets better because he feels like he is his own competition. this is something thats like hecka clear in no mercy, like when he won that recording thing w hyorin and san e and l i t e r al l y aced the recording in one go, but my bby was like nah i think i can do better. jooheon flourishes under praise, but he doesnt end it there. he doesnt think that just bc he’s been praised he can stop–no, his mind immediately jumps forward, he’s already moving onto wow how can i be even better, how do i continue to get praised. his mind is so interesting, like the satisfaction that comes with being praised is immediately overridden, by the need to get better so that the praise continues. 

also when he gets praised his face does this rlly cute thing where he baiscally tries to do a humble smile, but he’s so happy that someone complimented him taht he gets this strain on his faCE AND HE LOOKS SO FUCKING HAPPY! also when he smiles, like genuinely, and his upper lip curls just a bit over his teeth and the dimples pop out (aka my home) and his eyes scrunch shut!! beauty!! also the way he laughs!! when jooheon thinks something is really funny, he laughs in high pitched hiccups with lil choked off noises. when he’s giggling, it’s lower pitched with a sort of warmth to it, but my favorite laugh is when he’s with his fans and someone says or does smth. like jooheon LIGHTS THE FUCK UP for his fans im not even joking hes so beautiful im sobbing i love him

ok wow this got rlly long and im gonna stop now pls dont hate me this is the one time i cried about him pls

[teddy-feathers]

Saw a post "what would you say to your ten year old self?" so... Dont worry so much about being the odd kid out those people are pretty lame and hell dude youll learn this long before you can put it into words but people generally like you if you actively listen to them... But yeah they dont really get invested back. So do what YOU like always. Dont hold back, you did okay about that but theres no point feeling like you're failing. Being social ISNT essential and youre not missing out on much really because again THEYRE kinda lame dude. Like seriously theyre not interested about your books or games or dont want to geek out WITH you? Then... Whats the point? And it sucks i know but you were right all along - do you. Fuck bras, fuck caring about weight, appearance, what other people think about how you look act and like especially fuck your aunt whos going to make you doubt that. Because honestly? Image of you reflecting on the family? ISNT a fucking thing except in very specific instances and you already KNOW that. Look I'm over twice your age now and let me tell you may be i feel a bit weird when i dress uber sloppy/comfy and its the same feeling I get when I dress "fun" but ive never regreted being comfortable in what I wanted to wear. But every time I dress for someone else? For how I should dress? Completely felt like shit the whole time not worth it. Another thing you were right about. The whole "like men but not going to missout on true love or whatever if they happen to be a girl or more than one person or something" THAT yes. Also you dont like guys. Its gross sex stuff I know you dont care about right now, but I know youll want to know in about two years so I'll just say - you dont give two fucks about whats in the other persons pants, what they look like or anything. Hell youre only demiromantic let alone sexual. Hmmm that may not be helpful youre ten and like i said you wont care for two years so how about... You want strong friendships. That love. Sex. Well you know. Youll figure it out and try it out long before youre really ready to know but thats okay. Just. Dont feel bad or obligated to like people back. You just dont and thats okay. You can date friends or not date. No biggy. But that thing youre craving is friendship and youll get it. Dont settle for less though. Another thing youre right about - I'm telling you the things youre RIGHT about so hopefully you REMEMBER them instead of doubting yourself - you dont want to be the center of someones world. You dont want to be responsible for other peoples happiness and YOU DONT HAVE TO BE EVER. And you dont need or have to want anyone to fill you up either. Its totally okay to just want to be you, do your thing, and make friends. I know, i said they were lame right? They dont share your interests. They dont listen. They dont care. I know. It sucks. But dont try to please them by changing you. Dude you meet so many wonderful people who do like things you like. Just. Make friends with people you like. Yes theyre scary and your definition of cool. Its better than being the token girl, making friends with gross people youd rather avoid. News flash: boys arent cool. Girls arent evil. Asshats are asshats reguardless of gender. Again just go talk to people you like and fuck everyone else. Now the really important thing. You love to read. Keep doing that. Steal all the time and dont regret it im so proud of you for being that person. Write. Write your stories and poetry, pretend its class notes, invest in a notebook cause lose paper gets soooo messy and crumples but yeah. Keep writing. No you dont have to know spelling or grammer or anything. Write whatever you want. People who think its stupid? LAME people trust me I know so many COOL talented people now and writing? Writing is cool. And youre good at it. You dont have to share it. But dont think its cringy or stupid. Write. Its really good and... I gave up thinking like that. And now? Now Ive been writing for about a year now. 26 and i have days where every word is a struggle and it sounds bland and boring but... In a year? Ive gotten so much better and people actually like some of my shit. So you just imagine if you keep writing? By the time youre me youll actually have published if you keep going. Keep writing. Because youll have had ten plus years of experience. Lastly... Its okay to not like shit. To be angry upset bored... Yes it makes things easier to find reasons to like what youre doing even though its sucky chores or doing things you didn't want to be doing... But you can hate it. To not what to put up with it. You dont have to shove yourself into a cage and smile and pretend things are okay. Being in trouble doesnt mean your wrong or have to change. Oh hey see if you can learn that sometimes youre not the one in trouble. They are ;) Youre stong. Smart. Clever. Creative. Pretty. Tough. You're a hard worker. Yeah I know I always tried to get out of doing things but dude You - I - We've never done things by halfs. Tend to give our all. No wonder we dont want to do anything huh? Its exhausting. But we keep going. We're stubborn. And... Theres going to be a lot of shit we're going to go through but... Youre always going to make it out to the other side. Youre going to be okay I promise. ... Lying is a problem with us but thats okay. You know why lying what we're always doing? Its because they made the truth the problem for us. If you can... It'll change things and I cant promise you it'll be for the better but... Only lie to protect yourself. Tell the truth when YOU trust people, not to the people you "should" trust - never do things just because you "should" listen to your gut and do what YOU feel is okay or not. - but do try to be honest about other people to yourself and to others. Dont... Lie to protect people. Maybe thingsll get easier if you do. You know how your parents treat you like the worst combination of adult and child? That never changes. Because theyre just kids too. I know they feel like they know and experienced so much so they must be right and you must be wrong but... Theyre kids figuring it out as they go along so SURE theyre right that they fooled you into believing it. They have a good prespective to work from but so do you. Theyre never yelling about you. Its never about you. They love you but that doesnt mean your dads not an asshole. Your moms not always wrong she just gives up arguing. Theyre arguing about the fact they suck at talking to one another and that they each always have to have thier way. It has nothing to do with you. Fuck grades. Just learn what you want. Also just do everything in school and then "do home work" - that is whatever the fuck you want - at home. You DONT have to be busy doing something productive every second but sense thats how they seem to want it, just use it against them. Youre "busy" on "homework" that you already had done so just play you game read write whatever. Fuck grades though. You learn better when you stop caring about them. Dont get sucked into dads humor even if you mean it positively or as a joke. YES its awesome that some people date the same gender as them. YES some girls dont have what you think - think not know - of as girl parts in their pants. YES people cross dress. Hell do it like youre going to want to. It IS fun. But dont CARE or deride people about whats in their pants or who theyre doing what with. Oh and some people DONT want to do anything sexual with anyone. Again. Dont laugh. Because guess what? Youre one of them. Do your "dumb kid shit". Just do it. Brag about it. Laugh at anyone who gives you shit cause theyre LAME for not liking it. Trust me. Also cussing - dude youre an adult and can do what you want... Though its WAY more fun to use made up curse I promise. Snail snot. Holey socks. Fudge it all to fudgedom hall up on old fudge hill. I know. Not much of a cheat sheet and a lecture to rivial any dads ever given. But... I still dont have all the answers. And thats okay. And even if you follow all this only YOU can control and experience YOUR life. If you actually get to read this... Youll grow up into someone different. Just as different if I told you in detail what happens from then to now. People who give you road maps and tell you to avoid the pot holes... They just make you feel like shit because you SEE it coming and do it anyways. So do you. Keep some of this in mind maybe. Youll be pretty cool either way even on the days you dont feel like it. Be safe Teddy (best nickname btw just saying)

[create-ninety]

Wednesday 20th February, ’19. 10am.

There’s nothing quite like going to a gig at a small venue in a trendy part of town to make you feel like a geriatric.

While I was getting ready for the event, I was wondering if I was going too casual – I was wearing a plain t-shirt with black jeans and an oversized floral blazer. Turns out I should have gone in what I normally wear as pyjamas! There were kids (I say kids, because while there were definitely a few ‘older’ people in the crowd, the majority looked like they were born this side of the century) wearing what I can only describe as their dorky mum’s clothes from the seventies. It was bizarre. Lucie and I stood to the side in a somewhat demure fashion by comparison, me sipping on non-alcoholic beer, and Lucie overheating from a temperature brought on by a nasty cold.

We both agreed that, if we were born when they were, it’s this kind of crowd we probably would have found ourselves in. Perhaps it’s because they were wearing exactly what we were wearing, once upon a time. I can imagine this isn’t a unique experience for people who find themselves looking over their shoulder at the next generation and wonder what the hell is going on.

The show itself was great – the band were amazing. I’ve seen them three times now and each time they’ve got better. The audience loved the performance and it was actually quite inspiring to see people passionate about their art in action. And it was obviously the kind of crowd that didn’t bat an eyelid that I was draped over completely over Lucie, which is always a plus.

When we got home, we lay awake talking about it the performers. I wondered what the process is that gets a person to the point where they feel confident enough to get on stage and perform in front of others. Essentially saying, “I am confident enough that my work is good enough to not only subject you to, but I am compelling enough to perform it in front of others.”

That’s a pretty brave thing, for anyone to do. To be inviting open criticism and to stand up and project vulnerability. I do, genuinely, marvel at musicians and stage actors who have to suspend what can only be described as ‘normal reality’ to sing, move about, and create a large amount of sound – something that in any other situation would be wildly inappropriate and strange. And yet there we all were, gathered around a stage, making noise for individuals who were inhabiting that space of vulnerability. I’ve decided that, for me, it’s actually less about hearing the music of the artists when I see the live show, and more about watching and observing the emotions that they’re going through, as they do it. And you can see it on their faces. The nerves, the little shakes, the awkward chatter between songs when the polished performance of practiced routine is paused.

Lucie pointed out to me that writing a novel isn’t so different to that.

In some ways, perhaps not, but by and large I think there are some key differences.

I think that if you’re a creative person by nature, then creativity has the opportunity to express itself in several key ways: as an actor, a musician, a visual artist, or a writer. Each of those could be called spheres with smaller subsets breaking off (stage actors vs film actors, painters vs photographers, poets vs fiction writers, and so on). I suppose it just depends what vehicle you ultimately are drawn to and prefer as your mode of expression. Because ultimately, the point of anything creative is fundamentally the same: it’s just that, expression. You are expressing something emotive, experiential, a message, something others might relate to. And each of those spheres give you the option to do it, but with completely different methods of execution.

When I was growing up I played with all of the different spheres and I can see them all, now, as different sizes and at varying distances from me. At certain points in my life I’ve actually valued them and explored them in different orders. Some have increased in resolution and texture while others have stayed smaller and smoother.

The smallest of my creative spheres, the one most under-developed and child-like, is visual art. I’m not bad at basic sketching or copying something. And I can stare at a piece of art and try and pull out its meaning. But when I was young, the pleasure I’d get from mixing paint or translating an emotion onto a canvas or something else just wasn’t very high for me. So I didn’t spend time doing it. There were moments where I’d develop a surge in interest (this still happens) – I’d go and buy watercolours and start painting for fun, or I’d be obsessed with sketching raccoons or something. But it’s always fleeting, and ultimately, not really something that I have been able to use as the best means of my expression.

I found a lot of joy in stage acting and performing when I was young, right up to my teenage years. I would include public speaking in this. I found it exciting. I liked playing characters with interesting stories, and I liked to turn different emotions on and off to create scenes with others. I liked finding mirrors of myself in characters, and ‘becoming them’, for a short time, was a small reprieve from myself. But sometimes it was hard to occupy the emotions of a character when my own were trying to take centre stage, so to speak. In my last year of high school when I was arguably involved in the most theatre I’d ever done – I was the lead role in my drama class’ final show, I was in a speech finals competition, I was sitting a speech and drama exam that had multiple theatrical components, I was in our school production, and in an improv team – I was stressed as hell. I realised, ultimately, I didn’t like standing up in front of others to be scrutinised as a version of myself that wasn’t me. I didn’t like that there was a ‘right way’ to act, and a ‘wrong way’. Because, well, there’s a director telling you what to do and how to do it. And so when I left school, I stopped any form of acting. I thought about joining a theatre company but I didn’t. I almost studied Theatre at uni, but I didn’t. It just wasn’t the creative vehicle for expression for me and I dropped it all together. I think, as a result, that acting is now my least valued and explored sphere.

Music, on the other hand, was something I discovered in my late teens. I’d tried piano earlier but didn’t like it, because I was taught classical, which to me was basically mathematics with your fingers. I wasn’t good at translating the written music to something that requires you to be so profoundly dextrous. Years later I would discover tab, and learn the general principles of music accidentally. I realised that chords are the foundation of all music, and that chords translate across all string and wind instruments, including the piano. Once I understood that, and once I was able to master basic dexterity and rhythm, music became the most wonderful tool of expression. I was able to write lyrics, write melodies, and then later on, piece them all together to make a song on my computer. I must have made hundreds. I did struggle to ‘finish’ one, though, and my desire to perform them never became overwhelming enough to take it to the next level. For me, it really was just means to express something. I liked the personal nature of it. I liked the different emotions that could be conveyed through the different sounds and instruments. Sharing the songs with anyone was always a profoundly terrifying experience: the music was an extension of myself, as if I had translated my own identity and ‘suffering’ into sound – and for others to hear it, and to judge it, would be for them to judge me.  And so the music sphere for me has grown large, but it has stayed at the same size for some years now. I pick up the guitar when I’m feeling emotional. Or when I want to put music to a poem. And when I see musicians perform, I see love for the vehicle. I often dream about writing an album to compliment a film. I suppose that now, there is actually the option to actually produce music without having to perform at all – you can do it all digitally. But I don’t think that I love it enough to put it out there. There is so much music available. I don’t think that what I create would be contributing to anything other than my own creative expression. And so, it’s for that reason, while it’s fun to dream, I think – unless I suddenly have unlimited free time and money – that it’s something I’ll never take further than just tinkering around when I fancy.

Writing, for me, is the perfect mode of expression. It’s a completely internal process. With music there is this external component, which I think is ultimately what turns me off about it, but with writing, it can be done completely behind a veil. When it is released into the world, it’s consumed by a reader internally. You are not the work. The work is as separate from you as possible (perhaps in many ways like visual art). This is what appeals to me so deeply. That I get to have a personal, raw, emotive and transformative experience writing something and exploring it in a depth that has so many layers of meaning. And when someone reads it, the work becomes a personal experience for them. You are just a a vehicle for the expression. My physical form, my personal likes and dislikes and expressions, are not relevant to the ideas being put out into the world. And I love this. Writing also carries with it the highest possibility for profound connection: books take a long time to be read, and upon each separate reading, new meaning can be found and uncovered. The same can be said for all the spheres, absolutely – I’ve certainly spent hours listening to the same song and attached various meanings to it, and felt connections to musicians I’ve never met  – but there is something unique about a narrative with a character who goes on a journey. I would argue that in a book you can still experience all five senses, but in an abstract way.

I don’t like the thought of who I am as a person getting in the way of the message. I want to place the art and the ideas at the centre of the experience. When you involve yourself – in a way that musicians and actors have to do – then you become consumable. And that is a scary concept for me. One could argue that the person performing is actually, themselves, part of the art - I would imagine this to be true - but I think this is what differentiates the spheres.

And, more than anything, writing is as automatic and as essential to me as breathing. Or eating. It’s just something that’s part of my day and necessary for normal functioning. For people who master the other spheres, you can see that they have this feeling about their own medium. I saw it on the faces of the performers last night. They live and breathe music. Their instruments are extensions of their identities that they have to exorcise. When I scroll through the Instagram profiles of visual artists, their dedication to the craft is demonstrated through the picture after picture after picture of their creations.

And, finally, I am now – perhaps like the musicians – confident enough to think that my work is good enough. I also think it’s now good enough for others. So yes, maybe I am more like the musicians than I think.

[fence-sitter]

1. What have you eaten today? I had a piece of toast with vegemite and a piece with ginger marmalade, i had some lamington, i had a sao cracker with vegemite and cheese, i stuffed a perfetta roll in my mouth as i left the house, i had a yogo and some green tea and this afternoon i had some fig yoghurt and ginger and apple iced tea. Very random i know.  2. Who was your last kiss with? Was it pleasant? what passes as a kiss 3. What color shoes did you last wear? black leather 4. Who has made you laugh the hardest in the last week? maybe Wendy 5. What is your favorite scent? freshly peeled mandarins or bush fires or that coastal smell you get driving through beach suburbs 6. What is your favorite season? Why? maybe late autumn and early spring because its cold but not too cold 7. Can you do a handstand or cartwheel? i can do both 8. What color are your nails? a very chipped yellow 9. If you had to get a tattoo on your face to save your life, what would it be? the words “Have a nice day” 10. What is something you find romantic? when someone kisses your hand 11. Are you happy? happy enough 12. Is there anything in particular making you happy or sad? anime, Wendy and uni have been making me happy, i think thinking about my school  friends is the only thing that really makes me sad... or anime. 13. Dogs or Cats? ahhhhh both but i really want a black cat called liquor 15. Which do you prefer:a museum, a night club, the forest or a library? the forest 15. What is your style? explosive in a controlled way, its crazy but it has some order to it.  16. If you could be doing anything you like right now, what would it be? swimming in the ocean 17. Are you in a relationship or single? single pringle 18. What makes you attracted to the person you like right now? he a sad bitch (yurio) 19. If you could replace your partner/best friend with a celebrity of your choice, would you? Who with? i don’t know who i’d replace them with but i just want Jake Gyllenhaal hes such a man child 20. Are you holding on to something you need to let go of? If so then what? nothing 21. How did you celebrate last Halloween? i spent it with Gibby and Taylah and we watched The Brothers Grimm and ate spring rolls and vege chips 22. Have you recently made any big decisions?  um UNI  23. Were you ever in a school play? yes and it was hella !  24. What movie would you use to describe your life? Amelie 25. Is there something you have dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it? Well i have always dreamed of moving to melbourne for a little while and well i haven’t because im a poor bean at 18 26. Complete this sentence, “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…” my artistic desires with. 27. What are two things that irritate you about the same sex? cause so much damn drama, complicate everything 28. What are two things that irritate you about the opposite sex? stubborn, i can’t think of another i honestly think boys are super chill and cool 29. What is the best thing that has happened to you this week? i made a pouf 30. What is something that makes you sad when you think about it? bad people 31. How long was your longest relationship? i suppose like a year 32. Have you ever been in love? a 13 year old version of love 33. Are you currently in love? no 34. Why did your last relationship end? the same way it started, it didn’t (i know it doesn’t make sense) 35. What jewelry are you wearing right now, and where did you get it? i’m wearing earings from nundah lifeline with bears holding umbrellas. 36. When was the last time you cried and why? um when i had a realisation that i’m not exciting enough to make or keep friends by comparing myself to someone who can easily because they’re so charismatic but then realising that we are completely different and i can make friend in different ways. 37. Name someone pretty. My friend Tabetha 38. What did you receive last Valentines Day? hmm lets see, some sunlight some day time i got a good sleep maybe some lunch thats about it  39. Do you get jealous easily? not really 40. Have you ever been cheated on? no thank god 41. Do you trust your partner/best friend? i trust Taylah but shes not my partner or my best friend  42. Ever had detention? yeah for not wearing shoes THE FUCK 43. Would you rather live in the countryside or the city? countryside but if living in the city means im closer to the beach 44. What do people call you? my name 45. What was the last book you read? On The Road 46. How big of a nerd/dork are you? minor  47. What kind of music do you listen to? ALL except for that screamo and country music stuff that 48. How tall are you? 172cm 49. Do you like kids? yeee 50. Favorite fruits? rockmelon, mango, banana, strawberries, peaches. 51. Do you wear jeans or sweats more? jeans 52. What’s your earliest memory? idk maybe the garden down along the side of my old house at ascot  53. Ever had a poem or song written about you or to you? no but ive writen a poem for someone else 54. Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? behind but both is nice 55. Do you have a collection of anything? stamps, birthday and christmas cards 56. Do you save money or spend it? i like the feeling of saving money but i also like spending it on small puchases like op shops, spending large amounts is scary but i do it if i know i really want it 57. What would your dream house be like? um a little wooden cottage style shack thing at the beach 58. What top 5 things make you the angriest? when people swear unnecessarily, when people make jokes about disabled people, disabilities etc., ibis, when people complain about their first world problems, other angry people.  59. What top 5 things always brings a smile to your face? when people say good morning or smile at you when your walking down the street, dogs, cats, when people comment on what you’re wearing, boys being sentimental 60. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? do firefighters deal with that stuff?? cause i’d call them. 61. 72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? ok i wouldn’t tell everyone right away i know im the kind of person who doesn’t like burdening people with my problems, i would perhaps book a holiday i’ve always wanted to go on and yes i would be afraid 62. Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. i think of it literally when Mr Boddice stuck a probe through the chambers of a pigs heart 63. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? Canada 64. Do you like the beach? YES 65. Ever sleep on the couch or a bed with someone special? well yeah ive slept on a couch with Kanya and Taylah many times, i’ve slept with James and i’ve slept with Gibby and i’ve slept with Rosie not that thats anything special cause she rolls all over me. 66. Do you have a middle name? If so what is it! ALICE 67. Do you talk to yourself? all the time 68. Describe your hair. a mop 69. What is the meaning of life. passion 70. What is your ideal partner like? easy going, beachy, spunk, is a bit of a quirk like me i.e. doesn’t think my anime obsession is weird or my crazy eyeshadow and doesn’t judge me  71. Do you want to get married? yea that’d be cool 72. Do you want to have kids? yea that’d be cool 73. Like or dislike your family? i like them 74. Are you Chunky or Slim? slim  75. Would you consider yourself smart? smart enough to get around 76. What would you change about your life? nothing 77. Religious or Not? nah 78. You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with? Nikita 79. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?nah 80. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you? Gibby aw 81. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now? i kinda want to see Jam man again and idk maybe he’d play Halo on our new xbox 82. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in? who the fuck are you 83. Do you like when people play with your hair? yES 84. Do you like bubble baths? bubble baths are life 85. Have you ever been pulled over by a cop? no 86. Have you ever danced in the rain? yes 87. Do you trust anyone with your life? Taylah 88. What was your first thought when you woke up this morning? do my siblings ever stop arguing 89. If money wasn’t an issue, what top 10 places would you travel to? (You get to stay at each place for a week) Canada, Melbourne, Tasmania, Colorado, Switzerland, Italy, Japan, Nepal, Vietnam, Turkey 90. How was your day today? it was really good i got up and read my book and spontaneously went to nundah and got soome good op shop buys 91. Play an instrument? i can play trumpet 92. Describe the what you think of the ocean. it wants you to be afraid, it can sooth you or it can devour you but you learn to be friends with it  93. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? i believe in aliens and i suppose i believe in spirits  94. Honestly, are things how you wanted them to be? honestly, its how i always expected things to be, i think i wanted more adventures and friends 95. Do you have a mean bitchy scary side? no 96. When are you vulnerable? when my social battery is dead 97. How much free time do you have? a lot 98. Do you like to go hiking? yes yes very much 99. Odd or Even Numbers? even 100. Would you ever go sky diving, bungee jumping , cliff diving, wing suit gliding, parasailing, snorkeling, or other extreme activities? id go hot air ballooning and snorkeling and i’d love to go in one of those shark cages

[andseperand]

thoughts

ive been sitting on this post for the better part of a year. i tried to read through it and make edits, but im going to have to post this as is. maybe ill be able to edit it someday. anyway, this is completely composed of spoilers.

tl;dr: i mostly wrote bitterness about “kung food,” “origins part 1,″ and “reflekta.”

these are my thoughts on what ive watched of the first season of miraculous ladybug (i have watched most of every episode except the last three).

i may be confused or misinformed on some points. some of this is not as serious as other parts, and the writing style is disjointed because i didnt write it all in one go. any links are formatted within brackets (as in [text]).

ordered by the order i initially watched (parts of) the episodes in and indicated by villain name somehow (english, korean, french, french translation, etc.).

stormy weather/climatika

why did alya just toss manon like that? she couldve hurt something just being thrown around with her tiny little bones and joints that lack any significant cushioning. not to mention that her neck is completely unsupported. safety, much?

the bubbler/le bulleur

so the record is fully functional but also survived getting smacked off a building on its edge? wow.

copycat/l’imposteur/the imposter

i get that alya is supposed to be that “go-getter” friend who pushes marinette to be brave, but honestly, if she had waited another minute for marinette to be more ready for making a phone call, this wouldve been less of a mess. yeah, i get the “pushing boundaries to build confidence,” but honestly we could have waited for marinette to stop stalking adrien, too.

i gotta say: marinette is truly fearless. my phone is so suspicious. i would not have the confidence to deliberately touch it with my face and risk contact with who knows what has been on it.

the “moral” or whatever of this episode is kind of unclear? steal someones phone and run into issues with security but then also somehow break into it and get what you want anyway? no, thats not okay. its not that funny that marinette legitimately stole someones phone, and she doesnt even get seriously reprimanded for this.

timebreaker/chronogirl

one of the most pressing questions i have for this episode is why no one thought of using pockets or a bag or something to hold this important watch. hand perspiration is pretty bad for a lot of older and newer mechanical objects alike. why is this clearly-important item treated any different? ive considered both the “tikki is in the bag” (doesnt mean it has to be marinettes bag) and the “girl pockets” (marinette designed her own clothes, though) possibilities, and im still stumped.

mister/monsieur/mr./m. pigeon

how did chloe know what the colors were or even what the embroidery pattern looked like from a pencil sketch? it looked like chicken scratch.

lady wifi

im not sure that “dont violate other peoples privacy” was very well stated, seeing as alya was landed with an unfairly harsh punishment due to corrupt politicians. and how did that get resolved, anyway? was she still suspended? was there even supposed to be a moral in this mess?

the pharaoh/le pharaon

the villain is a pharaoh, continuing the ages-long trend of pretending ancient egyptian culture is just ~so interesting~ and that its portrayal isnt exploitative at all. i cant really say much about this, but i dont like those special ancient egypt episodes of anything.

rogercop

a mess

im pretty sure that this was to save animation budget or something, but why was marinette picking up those croissants off the floor and arranging them so nicely as if it really mattered what she did with them besides cleaning up the spill? i guess ill let it slide if shes trained that way as an advertising thing (though advertising doesnt get a free pass by default just because its strange).

the evillustrator/evil artist/le dessinateur

off topic, but could that tablet also erase or create living beings?

dark cupid/le dislocoeur/heartbreaker

this was still technically a kiss without consent? doesnt really feel all that romantic and whatnot. i cant really get behind this as shipping material.

horrificator

side note: i really liked how chloes english voice actor delivered the lines mockingly announcing mylenes “award” in the beginning.

im not a fan of the “you must kiss as part of acting” plot point. it always gives off those peer pressure vibes from other people and opportunistic vibes from main characters who want to actually kiss the other person.

darkblade/le chevalier noir/the black knight

sabrina is honestly super lucky that marinette made her box have a hole big enough for super tiny animated character wrists or else she wouldve been in a world of more pain.

alya had a platform? im so confused about how this election worked. did they do ballots or some sort of “heads down” in-class vote thing?

the/le mime

seeing as people dont lose their memories of being attacked by the villains, i really dont see how tearing down the eiffel tower (even in an animated show where people are not in the structure at the time) is the best way to minimize traumatic experiences. i get that it was supposed to be a “wow” moment for the plot and just visual effects but not the appeal.

kung food

the second i ever laid my eyes on this name i knew it would be bad, i just didnt know how bad because there were just so many ways it couldve gone with that phrase and i didnt know what to expect until i actually watched the episode. more on this in a bit.

there was literally no point to having the famous chef be related to marinette other than contrived circumstances to get adrien into this episode. im using this as a launching off point for talk of other stuff.

why didnt marinettes parents do anything about a relative coming to their house? this really baffles me because they have their daughter meet an effective stranger with no help.

why didnt marinettes parents tell her what languages the relative spoke? honestly, it kind of seems like they just didnt even care if this would cause her extreme anxiety or anything. you would really think they would have at least discussed this as a family because it was made pretty clear that his visit was actually expected. i thought way higher of their characters until it seemed that they pulled this crap move.

i know it was supposed to be all cute and a bonding moment when adrien came over to translate, but it was even more of a disaster. why did they take a car literally around the corner to get to the hotel? why didnt the chef go directly to the hotel if it was so close? was that adriens car? who was in charge of organizing this event and making sure the contestants didnt end up in the wrong place? how in the world did the chef even get to the bakery? because of the close proximity of the hotel to the bakery, it doesnt make sense that he would go to the bakery instead from an airport or something? unless he was supposed to meet his relatives? which, in this case, was not facilitated at all? so many questions are raised.

i dont speak nor understand mandarin, but im pretty sure adriens wasnt good enough for him to actually be complimented for it. then again, its nothing new to see white people getting complimented for deigning to learn a ~foreign language~ while i get interrogated about my lack of “authenticity” for not speaking “my native tongue,” so i guess the writers were just being realistic.

he bowed...funny story, at least one time i went to a restaurant with other visibly asian people and the apparently-white waiter kept making this weird head bobbing motion every time they left the table and what im saying here is that i know adrien has presumably been learning about culture stuff, but i also know firsthand that creators really love to shove bowing into media whenever asian people show up. (that waiter did give us extra mints, so i guess that was nice.)

sarcasm alert: i love when ~asian~ people have ~asian~ accents. its not like this is a tired gimmick that i dont need to see literally everywhere i turn (oh, wait! according to the english version, it is! hooray for me! this is probably the most exciting thing that has ever happened to me ever! im not being sarcastic at all! or overly sarcastic to the point where im sarcastically putting in that everything ive written in this paragraph is sarcastic because im just so mad! or maybe it definitely is! it probably is all sarcasm!) [bonus sarcasm here]

the chefs english/default dub language fluency was either inconsistent or this was just a straight-up rude portrayal of a nonnative speaker of a language, because adrien didnt seem to wait five seconds (for the chef to even consider the question about what he was cooking) before talking to the chef (and naturally, being a polite person, the chef listened to what adrien was saying), and i feel like it was only for the sake of adrien being ~useful~ because right after that, he talks to the chef in english/whatever language? dont think i didnt notice that his english speaking got “better” after becoming a villain. you know, if they hadnt faked the accent in the first place, they wouldnt have had to hastily cover for the fact that their voice actor couldnt even execute it well.

im sure adrien and marinette tag-teaming to argue with chloe and her racist comments was supposed to be this whole “wow look at that team” deal, but it felt like adrien was shoehorned into this mess sloppily. woohoo for the white boy defending marinette because she cant do it herself or something! i do appreciate when white people help stand up for me, but in this context, it feels off.

i have such a big problem with the “pep talk” adrien gives marinette when she thinks the chef doesnt like her. first thing, white boy explaining things about a person of color to a person of color, and the two people are actually literally related? i think the bouquet misunderstanding was really bizarre, and when did adrien have time to gain all this extensive exposition? the interview when they first arrived was short, and i dont think that both adrien and the chef would be so rude as to exclude marinette from their conversation in the car on the way over. this just comes off as a way to have adrien ~encouraging~ marinette, and its not a very good one.

this supposedly super prestigious competition literally has no security to make sure no one is mucking around behind the scenes, let alone ensure that the contestants arent up to any funny business. because why not. and no cameras around either, because cooking-based television programs never show any cooking, just the tasting and subsequent subjugation by a villain (this is a sarcastic sentence). even if this is supposed to be a featured dish and thus one they dont want to showcase the recipe behind, they could still have those little soundbites interspersed with candid panorama shots (can you tell i have no idea what any of these words mean?). im just going to have to chalk this one up to animation budget and move on.

i know this was just a sort of (intendedly funny) visual thing, but i highly doubt that the objects chloe put in the soup could just go unnoticed, especially since i presume a chef would thoroughly stir (and taste) their cooking, and the soup didnt appear to have properties of decomposing things touching it. otherwise that tasting session would probably have turned out a little messier (i am completely kidding here).

why is the chef being upset about being sabotaged made into a ~cultural~ thing? why is a white boy telling marinette about her ~own~ culture? sheesh, its like you cant just be upset because your shot at a world title was ruined on live television and you have confirmation that you were deliberately sabotaged. yes, chloe did it because shes petty and racist, but the results of her actions could upset anyone! its not just because the chef is chinese! what is the point of saying that? its a pointless throwaway comment! why dont you just find some other way to get the chef alone so he can be become a villain that isnt a) nonsensical and b) making sweeping generalizations about people? (granted, i cant speak to the validity of anything said about cultures, but i sure can comment on why saying such things about them isnt okay regardless).

“kung food” oh my god. this is such a piece of crap name. it is racist. you can literally try to argue against this until youve gone far beyond oxygen deprivation and in a grave but itll still be racist by the time youre done. aside from the pharaoh, there arent a bunch of ~ethnic~ names (not that it would be okay for that to be the case anyway) running around, and yet we get one with this specific villain whose ethnic and national origin is talked to death? okay.

and ive seen this pointed out, but the villain appearance seems to have a kind of anime-inspired design, which is honestly a good laugh because who was just talking about not conflating china and japan again? weeaboos and sinaboos are often in the same boat.

okay, not related, but adrien just had to taste a suspicious substance off the floor. why. there are so many ways to figure out what a substance is before putting it in your mouth. or you could just not do that at all. before this point, they did not appear to suspect a food-related villain, so this couldve ended badly.

another side note: i dont know how that receipt retained its integrity long enough for ladybug to wrap the villain up after dipping it in the soup. do the magical items just have super special properties like extra toughness that allows them to defy the reality of paper receipts? i wonder how many of the things ive talked about in this post have been me marveling at the sturdiness of lucky charm items.

of course this turns into an ~accountability~ lesson for marinette. and chloe doesnt get reprimanded? yeah, she got booted off a panel she didnt even want to be on and no one actually clearly articulated to her that the things she said were absolutely unacceptable? then again, this is a “diversity episode,” so i dont know why my standards are so high.

wow, marinette really needed to have adrien encourage her before going to take a picture with her great-uncle? im going to be generous and allow that she wanted to make sure he would be okay with her ditching him for her much cooler great-uncle because she didnt want him to feel bad about how not-cool he is in comparison. there, you see what i mean about making up story elements? (though im really not much of a writer, oops.)

im so over people making fun of how others dress as a joke. before i realized that i am autistic and reflected back on my life, i didnt realize that i gravitate toward clothing i find comfortable rather than fashionable, and ive always gotten negative comments, ill-intended or otherwise. so i really didnt appreciate marinettes jab at chloe, even if it was to defend herself. it was just unnecessary.

i want to talk about the whole ~chinese representation~ thing in this show. yeah, i know marinette is one of the very few chinese and mixed main characters out there (and there are barely any that are both), but im going to be super honest about this: i dont think shes all that great. i am a big fan of her and this show, but that doesnt make it infallible. the fact that adrien of all people is telling her about her own culture is a huge failing in itself. i dont know everything about my own cultures, but its not cool to have a literal outsider being shown to be the expert on someones culture and be the one to guide them through that. theres barely any portrayal of sino stuff in the show as is, and i hate the way this is only shown as a kind of special episode topic. i would be way more fine with this if this wasnt basically the sole instance of discussion of marinettes heritage. and no, the fact that her mother wears stereotypical clothing doesnt count. at all.

okay, this has been a huge issue for me before and after this point, but it was in this episode that it was made abundantly clear just what we are dealing with. i know that it is completely possible, genetically speaking, for a mixed chinese and white person to have blue eyes. its also completely possible for a chinese person to have gray eyes even without being mixed (i say this because i dont know if her mother is monoracial). however, if you only have two confirmed recurring characters of chinese descent, and their eye colors are ~special~ colors...well, thats kind of iffy there. why is it that the minor chinese character has stereotypical eyes? theyre basically just expanded pupils for all intents and purposes, which is not the problem, because its possible to have irises that are so dark as to make figuring out whether they have a distinguishable brown tint to them really hard. anyway, i suppose i dont want to talk about things ahead in the season, but why is it that the background asian characters get the stereotypical eyes but the main characters who are asian get the special eye colors? (that was a rhetorical question. i know exactly why.)

im pretty that at some point in the creation of this villain name, someone patted themself on the back for being so ~clever~ like “haha kung food geddit? its like kung fu but with food because im actually not that creative and more racist than i would like to openly admit.” okay, i know im being a bit harsh. but its really annoying when one of the few things people “know” about sino people is that kung fu exists. and honestly, i kind of suspected this, but ive seen other people say that the villain more resembles a villain from anime, so...thats kind of disrespectful there...

the/le gamer

i really disliked marinettes combo move names. they all had ~asian~ words like lotus, jade, oriental, etc.

animan

i find the sniffing scene to be kind of creepy. personal space much?

the city has really high quality buses. i cant believe the bus didnt end up backfiring on their plan because if i know anything about buses its that the ones ive seen are probably way older and more decrepit than me.

antibug

how do the earrings work in this setting? as far as i can tell, it would make sense for chloe to have pierced ears and a pair of ladybug imitation earrings that she could put it, but how is it possible that ladybug was able to just pull the earrings off? because that could be a really, really messy situation if they are actually piercings with backings and everything, but is there an explanation for this? magnets, clips, anything?

the puppeteer/le marionnettiste

can that glowing bright red effect that comes from her yo-yo and the power cord being swung around just for the viewers, or can it actually be seen in-universe? or is that a null point because both items are generated by ladybugs magic?

reflekta

this show really didnt need any “haha look a ~guy~ in a dress” jokes. and honestly, this was ill handled (though arguably, its very existence was ill handled). first of all, im not the best judge of this kind of thing, but to me, ladybug felt out of character while mocking chat noir? honestly, marinette doesnt strike me as the type of person to find that kind of situation funny in the first place, so the premise doesnt really hold up in my opinion. i know marinette can make mistakes, but youd really think she would be more open to not thinking this way because she knows what its like to be bullied for other things. moving on... [though, to reiterate]

the way this was not addressed? at all? yeah, ladybug apologized for that one comment at the beginning of their conversation, but then she continued to make jokes at chat noirs expense, and it just wasnt as funny as it was probably intended to be?

i know the whole thing about ambiguous chronology, but there is no reason ladybug wouldnt take chat noirs opinion into account when planning for things anyway. it felt like that part was written specifically so he could “prove” his worth to the rest of the episode and ensure that, yes, he is still allowed to be in it after being turned into a reflekta lookalike, and the whole thing smacks of trying to write out of a corner...that was written into in the first place. if it hadnt gone the route it did with the mocking of appearances, i dont think it would have had to be as convoluted as it ended up being.

i personally dont care for high heels, but i dont get the kind of “fashion cracks” that were being made about them. like yes, high heels can be hard to move in? yeah, it isnt fun being turned into the appearance of someone who isnt you against your will? i just dont understand this gag.

guitar villain

did ladybug really honestly just full-on spray someone in the face with the contents of an aerosol can? im aware that the point was that the hair was in front of his face, but what if some had gotten into guitar villains eyes? dang, what if someone tries to emulate this in real life? ouch.

digital/numeric

kind of done with the spotlight on stalking behavior this show has.

marinette still shows no fear of suspicious screens. she continues to use parts of her face to touch one multiple times, never mind that she literally flings her yoyo all over the place.

stoneheart/coeur de pierre i

did marinette have pierced ears in the first place? shes not shown taking any earrings out, and we dont get that clear a view of her earlobes anyway. that might be deliberate for modeling budget and all.

master fu has brown eyes. so thats like four ~chinese~ characters that are in this show, and the main character and her mother have the special eye colors, and the minor character who is somewhat important to the plotline has non-black eyes, and the minor one-episode character has the black eyes. what a shining example of diversity (no).

anyway this is a good point to say that some things are just not for you. there are things that you just cant be a part of no matter how much you want to be because it just doesnt work that way. and the mess that is the miraculous “mythology” is definitely an example of this. i myself have very little knowledge of anything sino, but i sure as heck can spot that this...”history” thing is so off.

at this point i should probably mention i really dislike master fu as a character in general. just as a single point, apparently hes based off the teacher character in karate kid? i saw somewhere that the creator said he basically made marinette mixed because he was dating an asian person when he was thinking about the show and that marinette is basically his idea of their mixed kid? and back to the eye color thing (again), ive even seen someone with green eyes and blue hair suggest to him that they could be the child of marinette and adrien, and he said theyre like his grandchild? (im not really inclined to try to dig up an iron-clad, indisputably genuine source for this right now, but if youre honestly searching for completely serious, well-researched information in a really good quality post, this is not the post you are looking for.) i have no idea where i was even going with this paragraph.

stoneheart/coeur de pierre ii

why is marinette so invested in her crush on adrien? this couldve been a sweet crush, but no, she has to make it so creepy? leading up to this episode, i really didnt know what to expect because i really thought there would be some sort of explanation for just how extreme the lengths marinette goes to are, but from what i can tell, shes just being super invasive? the ambiguous timeline doesnt really help with this, nor does the fact that the origins episodes were aired at the end of the season. whatever characterization was supposed to be inferred from this feels choppy and unnecessary.

simon says/jackady/jacques a dit

i dont really blame her, but ladybug totally could have reduced the level of adrien distractedness going on here. shes previously shown signs of compartmentalizing ladybug and even having to face the fact that it isnt worth using up her power over adrien, but gosh golly, what gives?

princess/princesse fragrance

ive seen criticisms of how ladybug was written to be overly competent in this episode, which i think is fair since it keeps happening, and its so late in the season by this point that its gotten tired.

volpina

i try not to be too judgmental, but frankly, adrien is not that great of a prize.

anyway, from what i can tell about this episode, i think that there was too much on marinettes flaws, which i really think is a bit much to have in the last chronological episode of a season. its already been established that she makes mistakes with her decisions, but i just thought her unequal prioritization of adrien was too much. it just seemed contrived to squeeze in scenes that the creators wanted to animate regardless of overall context in the show, which is really unfortunate because of how the show becomes a little less chronologically ambiguous at this point.

[comicteaparty]

December 20th, 2018 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on December 20th, 2018, from 5PM - 7PM PST.  The chat focused on Goddess of Paradise by Dee S. / Beedee.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB START!

Good evening, everyone~! This week’s Thursday Book Club is officially beginning! Today we are discussing Goddess of Paradise by Dee S. / Beedee~! (http://paradise.bluedubia.com/)

Remember that Thursday discussions are completely freeform! However, every 30 minutes I will drop in OPTIONAL discussion questions in case you’d like a bit of a prompt. If you miss out on one of these prompts, you can find them pinned for the chat’s duration. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is fun and respectfully appreciating the comic. All that said, let’s begin!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

my favorite scene so far i think is when eridu runs into ekka. it was nice to see a character actually be happy to see her after a slew of eridu running into charas who dont really care all that much. and i just think its a good balance in general to all the hard truths eridu has woken up to.

although my second favorite scene admittedly is probably when she meets amun. just cause amun is gonna win all those awards for being lazy and laid back

but in general i liked how casually amun reveals that nah bro, its been 1200 years of slumber. as if its no big deal (which tbf for gods probably kind of isnt to a degree but still XD)

mathtans

My favourite scene was near the start of Chapter 4, with the human encounter. In large part because there was mention of a "dead human", making me think "wow that took a dark turn"... then it turned out she wasn' t dead and there was the whole "ick" factor, that wasn't dark at all.

Nice sort of twist, is I guess what I'm saying.

I also do like the Ekka scene though. In part because of my tendency to enjoy yuri ships.

RebelVampire

ah that was a hilarious moment. where eridu is basically treating the priestess like shes some dead insect or roadkill. but i also like within the comedy you see a really blunt and significant view into how she views humans

mathtans

Amun was cool, it was a good way to advance the plot, I'm not always keen on the laid back types though, heh.

Yeah, roadkill's kind of a good word the way that happened. ^.^

It's really interesting the way it's developed in first person overall too.

Reminds me a bit of a picture book, but the first person is a different take on that too.

RebelVampire

for the record you mean 2nd person. first person is "I do this thing" second person is "you do this thing"

but yeah this is probably the first 2nd person comic ive run into. im interested to see where it goes cause 2nd person is generally the more difficult pov to make work but theres also a lot of potential for creative stuff

mathtans

Oh yeah... that type of person.

Totally. I'm not sure how else you'd do it either, aside form having captions blocking the art. So this works.

RebelVampire

yeah it does work. although i also like that the comic has tons of silent moments that just let the visuals speak for themselves. because these are definitely some gorgeous visuals!

mathtans

That's true too. Also neat how some things stay the same while characters or other items appear.

RebelVampire

yeah it really helps draw your focus.

another scene i really like is when eridu shows up back on the island and all the green sprouts. cause its beautiful imagery. but im also haunted with questions about what happened to those two people who were watching

mathtans

Oh yeah, that was great. Goddess of amazing entrances or the like - though we saw the real one later on. ^.^ In retrospect, I feel like that made sense too, with humans being a footnote that she hadn't even expected to be there.

Though I do wonder about them too.

Maybe they were worshippers.

RebelVampire

maybe. although thatd be ironic if that sudden overgrowth killed them then

died for their beliefs

worshipped too hard

mathtans

True. Though I'm not sure death will really be a thing in the comic.

Feels like that was averted.

RebelVampire

maybe. id for sure say there probably wont be onscreen death.

probably

well violent death

mathtans

Unless it's one of the older gods maybe.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 2. After a 1200 year slumber, the Goddess Eridu finds the world quite different. Besides people being on her island, what else do you think will be a culture shock for Eridu? Do you think she’ll be able to adjust to all the changes, or will she refuse to accept them and continue to try to return the status quo? What do you think the other divine aspects have been up to over the years? Do you think more will be glad to see Eridu, like Ekka, or will more act like Amun and not care? Do you believe Eridu will manage to gain back her divine powers, or will something prevent her? Overall, how do you think this journey might change Eridu’s perspective on her divinity, on humans, or anything else? What will that change (or lack of change) mean for Eridu’s future actions?

mathtans

I wonder if technology exists on a world where Gods/Goddesses are just wandering around.

RebelVampire

depends on how we want to define technology. like for instance back when the world was young a loom would technically count as technology just cause it was a machine for advanced tasks.

im gonna laugh if eridu gets to a village and like theres electric lights everywhere. and she flips a light switch on and off wondering how humans came upon such magic and which god gave it to them

i feel regardless technology would advance

since if eridu can be considered a look into the average god/goddess than they probably mostly just ignore humans

unless theyre like "man i feel like being worshipped today"

mathtans

Well, that's a fair point. I guess I feel like if you can just ask a god to turn on the lights, there's not much need to do the inventing.

I also kind of wonder if one of the divine aspects is what put Paradise to sleep in the first place. Like, maybe was in league with that Enki new God type.

Unless Enki turns out to be a posturing human that the divine aspect was using as a puppet or something.

RebelVampire

dang now thatd be an interesting twist

mathtans

Also, this is a small island in the middle of nowhere. Maybe the mainland is rather different in terms of society.

All about the twists.

RebelVampire

this is also a large possibility. i considered that too. that whatever the island is it might not be representative of the world. honestly it could be argued the island has more old world values even cause theyre the only ones with a shrine left

Beedee

ahhh sorry I'm late! I'm reading up. hello people!

RebelVampire

hello~!

but yeah the twist, i just wouldnt think itd be possible cause the divine aspects are like parts of herself. so itd be hard to imagine one getting powerful enough to oust her. but that is what would make a twist like that so interesting cause it seems so unlikely

i think as far as the aspects though were gonna meet more amun's than ekka's XD not necessarily as laid back as amun, but more like they moved on in life/got bored

mathtans

Might not be old world values as much as it's just new gods have taken over everywhere and they haven't gotten around to dealing with the island yet.

I kinda thought about the parts of self thing... but isn't there a part of ourselves that we sometimes hate, and wish we could get rid of? And the Goddess doesn't seem like she'd be the nicest person to that part of herself, maybe. Though who knows, I may be way off.

I wonder if some of the others might also be asleep, or be serving other goddesses or something.

RebelVampire

the impression im getting is theyre all in their inner sanctums. so cant exactly serve anyone if theyre stuck there. and i also doubt they would cause i dont get the impression they think eridu is dead

thats like declaring loyalty to the assistant manager while the manager is on vacation

mathtans

Maybe they left voicemail at the inner sanctum and are wandering sans powers?

Fair enough though. There'd need to be incentives.

RebelVampire

but idk i mean could be possible

theres a lot of room for variety cause weve barely scratched the present day surface

Beedee

these are some good theories dang

mathtans

Also not sure how her perspectives will change... given how a few days can't wipe out decades of personality. Would need something monumental.

RebelVampire

i like to think shell at least come to view humans differently. or her role cause generally losing powers has the effect of humbling some one

QUESTION 3. The largest mystery presented in the story is why Eridu slept for so long. Who do you think forced Eridu (and her spirit aspects) away from the physical plane? What do you think the reasons were? Was it someone trying to do away with Eridu, or was it for some larger, greater good purpose? Does whoever Enki is have something to do with it? Or is Enki just some innocent bystander who was mistakenly identified as the one who created Eridu’s island? What do you think will happen when Eridu finally runs into Enki? Also, considering Eridu was already forced away from the realm, do you believe this could easily happen to her again? What is stopping the culprit from banishing Eridu back?

mathtans

(I think I'm belatedly realizing that's the creator. )

RebelVampire

lol thats okay math. yes @Beedee is the creator

mathtans

Losing powers can do that. I wonder if flying is a thing with other gods.

Beedee

haha yes I am~

mathtans

I feel like Enki is more an opportunist than the one who engineered everything or totally innocent. Though we've yet to meet him.

Kind of like the Wizard of Oz, in a way?

RebelVampire

i definitely think thats a distinct possibility. im on the page enki isnt this malicious entity and i dont think enki is responsible for what happened to eridu

mathtans

I do feel like Goddess will get all up in his face though.

RebelVampire

but maybe enki is no one. maybe hes just some human who found the island and said "hey my dudes lets live here this island is great." and then as history usually goes stories got exaggerated and eventually a human of great deeds became a god

mathtans

Oooh, maybe. Like, he doesn't actually exist anymore but put lots of things in place so people wouldn't realize that. (Makes me think of some societies from Star Trek.)

RebelVampire

yeah or something. but i could go either way. or it could be a combo of both

either way i dont think enki is responsible

to me it seems more likely kur is responsible at this point

for kicking eridu out of the physical planes

cause he needed her for things later

tho its curious she doesnt remember getting kicked out at all

Beedee

I find it interesting that you both get a vibe that enki isn't responsible even though he hasn't shown up yet :0

mathtans

I guess I just feel like that's too obvious of a solution. Goddess blaming the person who's actually behind it. I expect a twist, like how there weren't originally humans on the island.

I hadn't considered Kur as having a part in it. That's interesting.

Beedee

heh, fair

mathtans

Crazy theory time, the Priestess human is actually a God in disguise!

RebelVampire

yeah im with math. enki is the obvious choice. thus more likely a red herring. which could be wrong. maybe enki is all bwahahaha i have taken over

the priestess was responsible!

mathtans

Who has lost her memory and forgets.

Enki could also be the one behind it, but he was told to do it by Kur, or someone else.

Incidentally, I like the map feature. That's clever. Tracking the path over the island.

Beedee

ahh thanks!

mathtans

(I mean, story guide, not really a feature, but still.)

I often go to those pages, I'm rubbish with names.

RebelVampire

even if i remember the names i love those sorts of pages for spellings. cause i read a lot of comics and its hard to remember how to spell everyone's name even if i know what it is XD

mathtans

That's fair. Also neat how it's being developed over time.

RebelVampire

i like to think the reason eridu was sent away was not to do away with her. like maybe eridu did something bad she doesnt remember (or didnt consider bad). like flood some other god's island that got too close to hers. only that island was heavy populated already.

mathtans

Oh, that's a thought. Or maybe someone else did something bad and she wanted to forget it. Said sleep until I don't remember, didn't realize that'd take a few centuries.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 4. Eridu’s arrival seems to coincide with several “coincidences” within the story. Why was the Dragon-God Kur also slumbering for at least 1000 years? Is it somehow related to Eridu, or was it for a separate reason? Why has Kur woken up early? Also, what is Ekka making for Kur that he even goes to the effort of sending Eridu to help get it? Further, we see a few other gods talking about Kur. Why is Shulsa seeking out Kur so desperately? What exactly could go “badly” that Zida leaves to prepare for it? Also, who is Daiard looking to settle a score with? Lastly, why do you think the priestess of Enki was conveniently near where Eridu crashed? Was that just a coincidence, or was she there for a related reason to Eridu?

Beedee

good question

mathtans

Kur forgot to hit the snooze alarm. Or whatever the equivalent is. (Oh, maybe that's what they were bringing to him...) I'm also not sure what to make of the interlude. Does make it clear that there are other Gods around, the Priestess wasn't making things up or delusional or something.

Maybe Enki told the Priestess to go there because of all the vegetation.

RebelVampire

i think the interlude does kind of prove other gods are around.

now that im thinking of it

mathtans

Yeah, helps to flesh out the island.

RebelVampire

kur just woke up from a 1000 year slumber and the first thing he does is to sit down and kind of take a nap before eridu shows up

which i identify with

maybe the 1000 years is just normal for kur

thats just how long he sleeps

his 8 hours so to speak

Beedee

I will quickly say: yeah that's just how long he sleeps

mathtans

I kinda got that impression from the fact that they knew when he'd be awake. More or less.

Though it could have been a prophecy or something.

RebelVampire

man i wanna sleep for 1000 years

so jealous

mathtans

Incidentally, I liked how Kur was built up to be this ancient amazing entity, worthy of awe, only to have Paradise say, yeah, nevermind that nonsense.

Beedee

haha

at the end of this session, if you are up for spoilers, I'd actually be willing to show the WIP last panels of this chapter for a short amount of time. it explains some of Kur and Ekka's deal haha

mathtans

Aw, it's not Ekka and the Goddess jumping on a mattress?

Beedee

maybe in a side comic lmao

mathtans

I was amused by the reaction to the failed stripping too.

RebelVampire

i enjoyed eridu's disappointment that they werent gonna have sex. just cause it was so blunt. XD

mathtans

Like, ow, my chest. And yeah, that upped the rating, I think

RebelVampire

maybe daiard also hates enki. cause to me the obvious choice is eridu. so im gonna go with enki. everyone is gonna join forces and go after enki

and enki is gonna be like "hey friends would yoou like some tea"

Beedee

haha

to be honest

mathtans

Enki, actually God of Tea.

Beedee

daiard was a dumb callback to the beginning of chapter 2, that became worldbuilding(edited)

mathtans

New crazy theory: Goddess actually ends up putting herself to sleep in the past because the divine can mess with space-time.

RebelVampire

thats brain hurting

Beedee

oh gosh

mathtans

It was all a plan to help her become more grateful, or something.

RebelVampire

hmm, this actually makes me remember that eridu thought shed been sleeping to recharge. maybe there is no villain. maybe eridu just overexerted herself to the point she forced her own self back

shes gonna go on a long quest only to find out she was the villain all along

Beedee

future Eridu goes back in time to punch herself in the face

(thisisajoke)

mathtans

Hah! I could see that though, like "shape up, self".

Also, recharging could be a thing. Maybe she just needs a good nap to be able to fly again too.

RebelVampire

nope this is canon now. future eridu very wise. /shot

i hope she finds the flying having divine aspect soon and gets her powers back. cause man those inner sanctums seem really inconvenient to navigate

cause i dont think ekka's was any better than amun's

ekka's was just more convenient cause a plant taxi picked eridu up

Beedee

true

the sanctums are all awful to navigate on foot

but I like drawing environments lmao

RebelVampire

they are beautiful environments too. i really enjoy the contrast between ekka and amun's sanctums

mathtans

Anyway, this comic does hit a lot of the things I enjoy, from an interesting narrative style to great environments... and some romance too. (edited)

Beedee

thank you ovo

mathtans

Maybe Ekka and Priestess are the real ship.

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB END!

Sadly, this wraps up this week’s Thursday Book Club chat for now. Thank you so much to everyone for reading and joining us! We want to give a special thank you to Dee S. / Beedee, as well, for making Goddess of Paradise. If you liked the comic, make sure to support Dee S. / Beedee’s efforts however you’re able to~!

Read and Comment: http://paradise.bluedubia.com/

Dee S. / Beedee’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/bluedubia

Dee S. / Beedee’s Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/bluedubia

Dee S. / Beedee’s itch.io store: https://bdubia.itch.io/

Dee S. / Beedee’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/Beedeebia

Comic Tea Party- Thursday Book Club

Next week’s Thursday Book Club will be about Inhibit by Eve Greenwood / evegwood. For participants, you have the next week to read as much of the comic as you would like~! We hope to see you on Thursday, December 27th, from 5PM to 7PM PST for the chat in #thursday_bookclub!

Comic’s Main Site: http://www.inhibitcomic.com/

Comic’s Webtoons Mirror: https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/inhibit/list?title_no=40462

Comic’s SmackJeeves Mirror: http://www.smackjeeves.com/comicprofile.php?id=147115

[samanthasroberts]

Southern Charm Recap: Flamingo-ing Crazy

Evening, party people. Smiling faces, beautiful places, welcome back to another week of . Lets see what bat shit craziness this week has in store.

Cameran solidifies her role as the unofficial protagonist of the show, narrating the opening sequence (and even saying the word bitch. Well, I do declare!) My familys about to make fun of me for debasing myself by watching this show for yet another week. Suck it, dad, this shits entertaining and makes me feel like a very accomplished adult in comparison to these 35-year-old train wrecks. On a side note, Im kind of getting into this theme song. As an extra side note, my TV is broken and everything is green tinted, which is fitting, I feel.

We open with Thomas on the phone with JD, the former bitching about Kathryn (what else is new?). He rolls up to JDs house and cant even say yes to a cup of coffee without breaking out the French. Ugh, I thought that was a one-episode thing. Thomas apparently told Kathryn he wasnt cosigning her lease (after the whole polo fiasco, if you’ll recall) and she went so nuts that she ended up IN THE HOSPITAL AND MAY HAVE GONE INTO LABOR PREMATURELY. Jesus fucking Christ. So now, what does Thomas do? He agrees to cosign.

JD is like, wait, so you call Kathryn and tell her youre not cosigning, she gets upset, and now youre cosigning anyway because you feel bad for her

JD: I upset my wife plenty of times when she was pregnant but she didnt end up in the hospital over it.

Thomas is like, Wow, everybody was righthomegirl really does know how to manipulate.

Apparently Jennifer is the ultimate shadester, she used to date Thomas and screenshotted everything and sent it to Kathryn just to stir shit up. Taking it a bit far, don’t you think?

Thomas: If I can handle prison for six months, I can handle this bullshit for two more months.

Hold up, like actual prison or just being with Kathryn? Maybe that random Facebook commenter was right and I do need to go back and watch the show from season 1.

Cameran is one of those white people who answers the phone with, Yello! and we promptly learn she was up all night with diarrhea. Gross. Shep goes to watch Craig turn in his application for the bar exam because hes so full of shit that nobody believes him unless they see it with their own eyes. Thats gotta hurt, Craig.

Shep rolls up to good ol Gentry HQ and asks Craig how business is doing. Craig starts talking about some BS I zoned out pretty quick listening to, something about a bourbon side and a hotel side of something.Damn, and youre not gonna let Landon get in on this bourbon business? Thats cold, Craig.

Craig has one more step to nail before he can take the bar, and if he doesnt complete it in time he wont be able to take the test. I feel a setup coming on

These guys are literally arguing over which type of adhesive Craig should use to affix his passport photos to his application.

Cameran meets up with Danni, the roast thief from the earlier episode, and another friend for lunch. One of their friends orders a sweet tea instead of wine and they all jump on her immediately to ask if shes pregnant. Like…a girl can’t order a damn sweet tea in the middle of the day without everyone assuming she’s got a bun in the oven? Cameron is SO OBVIOUSLY not ready to be a mother and these bitches wont leave her the fuck alone about it. Newsflash: This is 2016! Women can aspire to more nowadays than just being a mother. Leave Cameran alone!

Cameran has anxiety too, she reveals, and this show is becoming one giant therapy advertisement. Just goes to show you, money cant solve all your problems. Spinoff idea: What if they all go to the same therapist? Also, Cam’s friend is like, because thats totally a cure for a legitimate mental illness. WTF is wrong with you. What decade do these people live in.

Only 15 minutes in and my fingers are already tired from all this ranting. Gonna be a long episode. Also, wtf happened to Whitney? Is he still alive?

Its finally (almost) time for the flamingo party. Yay! Patricia will be photographing this party for her entertainment book whcih, Im sorry, Im definitely buying. They’re going to have a ros tower and idk what that is, but I know I want one. Patricia is explaining those champagne tower things where you pour the champagne in the top of the pyramid and it spills into all the ones at the bottom and is like, No its not. Its basically 3D beer pong without the balls. Just chill.

Wait ok the Gentry is a hotel?? I feel like an idiot but if they wouldve just explained this shit at the beginning we wouldnt be here. Anyway, Landon and Craig are prepping for the party and going to a spa.

Landon: Part of being a Southern belle is being well-kept, which makes you a good person.

Yeah, maybe on the outside. Im not convinced any of you except Cameran are good people on the inside. And maybeee Craig. He seems pretty earnest.

Craig is aiming for Gatsby-ish pink in terms of outfit color and Landon is like, Im sorry, bitch what? Don’t be over there acting like your Southern asses did not fucking invent salmon pink shorts as a menswear item. Yeah, you THOUGHT you could insult us Yankees.

Jennifer called Craig to let him know Kathryn literally made herself sick and is in the hospital, and he of course feels super bad for her. Meanwhile, Landon does not give one shit!

Landon: Ugh here we go with the drama. People go to the hospital every day. Calm the fuck down.

Okay, people also die everyday, does that make dying any less shitty?

Landon: Did she really almost die? Doubt it. TTYL, DGAF, going to the spa.

Jennifer tells Craig that Thomas didn’t visit Kathryn in the hospital. This detail is important later, so keep it in mind.

Landon: Im tired of Kathryn controlling and manipulating everyone with this child, Im not gonna be manipulated by this psychopath.

Landon literally thinks Kathryn got a slight headache and rushed to the ER. Not sure if this is warranted or not but I’m semi impressed by the fact that she can’t even pretend to be mildly concerned.

We see Kathryn and she explains she basically gave herself such high blood pressure that it affected the baby. IDK how you can personally know what your own blood pressure feels like unless youre constantly taking it, but ok.

Kathryn: All this baby and I need is a stable place to live in a not-stressful environment and if Thomas wont help me get a huge-ass house he doesnt deserve to be in my babys life as far as Im concerned.

Bonus round: Kathryn manipulates Thomas into helping her move, too.

Kathryn: Cosigning on this house is the least he could do for me at this point. YOU MEAN ASIDE FROM THE LIKE $2500 YOU GET A MONTH? YEAH, I REMEMBER THAT FROM LAST EPISODE, IM NOT A FUCKING IDIOT.

Back at Patricias house where shes still setting up for the flamingo party. God damn, they are milking it.

Patricia: I grew up in the 50s. Mothers wore dresses and high heels and had their hair and makeup done. Ive always maintained you have to put on the dog and try to ge as glamorous as you can.

IDK what putting on the dog means but thats gonna be my next getting ready Instagram caption.

Sligthly disappointed there are no real flamingos at this flamingo party. I was definitely holding out for some exotic birds to be present.

Thomas saying yeah, pop that is the most uncomfortable Ive been all evening, even if they are referring to a bottle of wine.

Thomas is setting Landon up with some dude with a ponytail who I feel like is probably her kryptonite since he seem like the type of dude whod call himself an artist, too. Landon also greets everyone with bonsoir. Can we fucking stop pretending we’re European?

Patricia has a fortune teller at her party. What a rager. I am very sad I did not get an invite. Patricia, if youre reading this, I can clean up really well and I wont get belligerent drunk, which is more than I can say of at least half your guests. Hook a girl up.

This is the first/most weve seen of Whitney in like, two weeks. Some girl said hi to Shep and called him babe and I can see the smoke coming out of Landons ears. OMG JUST HIT ON HIM ALREADY, THIS IS SO PATHETIC TO WATCH.

Craig got Patricia this gaudy flamingo-decorated martini glass and Patricia just HAS to drop that she has 18th-century porcelain. Calm down, Patricia, nobody doubts that you have class. You don’t need to be so ostentatious.

Whitney: Trying to watch Thomas flirt with girls is like trying to watch your horny drunk uncle.

YES. SPOT ON. Somebody give Whitney more screen time!

Cameran shows up poss wasted and with a huge flamingo hat. Cameran is me in college, committing to the theme so hard she doesn’t care if she looks ridiculous.

Five seconds into the party, and Shep is already naked and in the pool. Don’t you know this is a classy affair??

Craig confronts Thomas about Kathryns hospital visit and asks if he saw her. Thomas is likeand Craig is like *sips wine*

Shit-starting Jen may or may not be lying about Thomas not going to visit Kathryn. It’s about to get real.

Craig: One of the reasons Thomas hates Jen so much is because she was supposed to be the fun mistress and wasnt supposed to stick around and meddle in his affairs.

THE PLOT THICKENS. Who can we trust? Nobody, really. Everybodys conniving af. Except Cameran. Im really liking her. Can you tell?

Some girl Bailey asked Landon if she and Shep have ever fucked, or even kissed.

Landon: I’m not gonna lie, theres sometimes I wonder if Shep and I could be in a relationship but I dont wanna risk getting hurt.

Landon. OMG. You are more transparent than every Kardashian PR stunt ever. You clearly wonder ALL THE TIME if you and Shep could be in a relationship, why youre not, when hes going to wake up and realize youre the one for him

Shep gets his fortune told and the fortune teller is like and Sheps like and everyones like Shep is just making a bunch of thats what she said jokes like the mature gentleman he is. Landon, you picked a real winner.

The gay dude who visited Kathryn earlier in the first episode (idk his name, go cross-reference my other recap if you really care that much) pulls Patricia aside to be like

Patricia: I think its very unattractive that hes friends with Kathryn Dennis. Its very low-rent to me. (Yes, she actually used the words “low-rent.”)

Dude whose name I 100% forgot: Its very clear what Patricia sees in Kathryn that she doesnt like: she sees herself.

Patricia calls this dude a knockoff Truman Capote. I gotta say, the South has got their shit-talking on point.

Jen shows up and we already know its going to be good. Thomas is not pleased and calls her a piece of trash. HERE WE GO.

Thomas: Tell this chick Im going to throw her in the pool. JD: You dont need another assault charge, homie.

One things for sure: some type of confrontation is about to go down.

JD is talking about doing another polo match. Jen is likeaka,

Thomas is watching Jen talk to Elizabeth and JD and hes just seething over there. FWIW, Elizabeth seems like a very nice woman. Jen does not, really. Thomas pulls Jen aside.

Thomas: Craig told me you told him I didn’t see Kathryn in the hospital Jen: I meant you didnt stay overnight

Cut to: Jen definitely in plain English saying that Thomas wasnt there at all.

Then Jen criticizes Thomas for only being there for two hours. Like, splitting hairs much? Youre just looking for a reason to shit on him.

Jen: If Thomas is criticizing me for putting Kathryns health at risk, he needs to take a long hard look in the mirror and then go play in traffic.

Thomas: A blind person could see through these lies.

They have a lie vs. misunderstanding argument for like 30 seconds before Thomas tells Jennifer to fuck off.

Jennifer: Im the only friend Kathryn trusts. It would be nice if the father of her kids was the other one.

Thomas thinks its Jens mission in life to wreck his life and make him out to be the enemy.

Jen: Im torn between completely cussing him out and telling him how I really feel, or just feeling sorry for him because hes truly delusional.

AKA how I feel watching this show.

Jens like, and Thomas is like And I’m like:

Patricia is not going to like this argument. Very not luxe.

Just when you think punches are about to fly, they both walk away from the argument. Phew, dodged a bullet. Or like, an assault charge.

JD: Thomas and Kathryn have enough problems, Jennifer doesnt need to add to them. This dams gonna break.

Exciting news tidbit: Thomas pronounces water like wooder.

Whats the first thing Jennifer does after being accused of starting drama? She fucking calls Kathryn from the porch of Patricias house! Whitney is like because his mom has to fight his battles. Everybodys gathered to watch while acting like theyre too classy to watch. Jennifer leaves on her own accord, fuck this show for being anticlimactic AF. I wanted an eviction!

Jennifer: I know what Kathryns going through because now I’m the one nobody likes.

Thomas: I can take a lot. Imprisonment, false political allegations, but do not mess with my family. It’s only okay when I treat Kathryn like shit.

Jennifer leaves yelling and once again this show is so fucking anticlimactic! You built up this party for three fucking episodes and what did we get? A heated argument from which both adults walk away on their own accord, and not even one person gets thrown out? Give me some damn drama, give me a fucking cliffhanger! Come on, Bravo! Do better.

div.body_middle_part_right .bodypart:nth-child(n+2), a.prevBody{display: none;}

Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/05/27/southern-charm-recap-flamingo-ing-crazy/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/05/27/southern-charm-recap-flamingo-ing-crazy/

[adambstingus]

Southern Charm Recap: Flamingo-ing Crazy

Evening, party people. Smiling faces, beautiful places, welcome back to another week of . Lets see what bat shit craziness this week has in store.

Cameran solidifies her role as the unofficial protagonist of the show, narrating the opening sequence (and even saying the word bitch. Well, I do declare!) My familys about to make fun of me for debasing myself by watching this show for yet another week. Suck it, dad, this shits entertaining and makes me feel like a very accomplished adult in comparison to these 35-year-old train wrecks. On a side note, Im kind of getting into this theme song. As an extra side note, my TV is broken and everything is green tinted, which is fitting, I feel.

We open with Thomas on the phone with JD, the former bitching about Kathryn (what else is new?). He rolls up to JDs house and cant even say yes to a cup of coffee without breaking out the French. Ugh, I thought that was a one-episode thing. Thomas apparently told Kathryn he wasnt cosigning her lease (after the whole polo fiasco, if you’ll recall) and she went so nuts that she ended up IN THE HOSPITAL AND MAY HAVE GONE INTO LABOR PREMATURELY. Jesus fucking Christ. So now, what does Thomas do? He agrees to cosign.

JD is like, wait, so you call Kathryn and tell her youre not cosigning, she gets upset, and now youre cosigning anyway because you feel bad for her

JD: I upset my wife plenty of times when she was pregnant but she didnt end up in the hospital over it.

Thomas is like, Wow, everybody was righthomegirl really does know how to manipulate.

Apparently Jennifer is the ultimate shadester, she used to date Thomas and screenshotted everything and sent it to Kathryn just to stir shit up. Taking it a bit far, don’t you think?

Thomas: If I can handle prison for six months, I can handle this bullshit for two more months.

Hold up, like actual prison or just being with Kathryn? Maybe that random Facebook commenter was right and I do need to go back and watch the show from season 1.

Cameran is one of those white people who answers the phone with, Yello! and we promptly learn she was up all night with diarrhea. Gross. Shep goes to watch Craig turn in his application for the bar exam because hes so full of shit that nobody believes him unless they see it with their own eyes. Thats gotta hurt, Craig.

Shep rolls up to good ol Gentry HQ and asks Craig how business is doing. Craig starts talking about some BS I zoned out pretty quick listening to, something about a bourbon side and a hotel side of something.Damn, and youre not gonna let Landon get in on this bourbon business? Thats cold, Craig.

Craig has one more step to nail before he can take the bar, and if he doesnt complete it in time he wont be able to take the test. I feel a setup coming on

These guys are literally arguing over which type of adhesive Craig should use to affix his passport photos to his application.

Cameran meets up with Danni, the roast thief from the earlier episode, and another friend for lunch. One of their friends orders a sweet tea instead of wine and they all jump on her immediately to ask if shes pregnant. Like…a girl can’t order a damn sweet tea in the middle of the day without everyone assuming she’s got a bun in the oven? Cameron is SO OBVIOUSLY not ready to be a mother and these bitches wont leave her the fuck alone about it. Newsflash: This is 2016! Women can aspire to more nowadays than just being a mother. Leave Cameran alone!

Cameran has anxiety too, she reveals, and this show is becoming one giant therapy advertisement. Just goes to show you, money cant solve all your problems. Spinoff idea: What if they all go to the same therapist? Also, Cam’s friend is like, because thats totally a cure for a legitimate mental illness. WTF is wrong with you. What decade do these people live in.

Only 15 minutes in and my fingers are already tired from all this ranting. Gonna be a long episode. Also, wtf happened to Whitney? Is he still alive?

Its finally (almost) time for the flamingo party. Yay! Patricia will be photographing this party for her entertainment book whcih, Im sorry, Im definitely buying. They’re going to have a ros tower and idk what that is, but I know I want one. Patricia is explaining those champagne tower things where you pour the champagne in the top of the pyramid and it spills into all the ones at the bottom and is like, No its not. Its basically 3D beer pong without the balls. Just chill.

Wait ok the Gentry is a hotel?? I feel like an idiot but if they wouldve just explained this shit at the beginning we wouldnt be here. Anyway, Landon and Craig are prepping for the party and going to a spa.

Landon: Part of being a Southern belle is being well-kept, which makes you a good person.

Yeah, maybe on the outside. Im not convinced any of you except Cameran are good people on the inside. And maybeee Craig. He seems pretty earnest.

Craig is aiming for Gatsby-ish pink in terms of outfit color and Landon is like, Im sorry, bitch what? Don’t be over there acting like your Southern asses did not fucking invent salmon pink shorts as a menswear item. Yeah, you THOUGHT you could insult us Yankees.

Jennifer called Craig to let him know Kathryn literally made herself sick and is in the hospital, and he of course feels super bad for her. Meanwhile, Landon does not give one shit!

Landon: Ugh here we go with the drama. People go to the hospital every day. Calm the fuck down.

Okay, people also die everyday, does that make dying any less shitty?

Landon: Did she really almost die? Doubt it. TTYL, DGAF, going to the spa.

Jennifer tells Craig that Thomas didn’t visit Kathryn in the hospital. This detail is important later, so keep it in mind.

Landon: Im tired of Kathryn controlling and manipulating everyone with this child, Im not gonna be manipulated by this psychopath.

Landon literally thinks Kathryn got a slight headache and rushed to the ER. Not sure if this is warranted or not but I’m semi impressed by the fact that she can’t even pretend to be mildly concerned.

We see Kathryn and she explains she basically gave herself such high blood pressure that it affected the baby. IDK how you can personally know what your own blood pressure feels like unless youre constantly taking it, but ok.

Kathryn: All this baby and I need is a stable place to live in a not-stressful environment and if Thomas wont help me get a huge-ass house he doesnt deserve to be in my babys life as far as Im concerned.

Bonus round: Kathryn manipulates Thomas into helping her move, too.

Kathryn: Cosigning on this house is the least he could do for me at this point. YOU MEAN ASIDE FROM THE LIKE $2500 YOU GET A MONTH? YEAH, I REMEMBER THAT FROM LAST EPISODE, IM NOT A FUCKING IDIOT.

Back at Patricias house where shes still setting up for the flamingo party. God damn, they are milking it.

Patricia: I grew up in the 50s. Mothers wore dresses and high heels and had their hair and makeup done. Ive always maintained you have to put on the dog and try to ge as glamorous as you can.

IDK what putting on the dog means but thats gonna be my next getting ready Instagram caption.

Sligthly disappointed there are no real flamingos at this flamingo party. I was definitely holding out for some exotic birds to be present.

Thomas saying yeah, pop that is the most uncomfortable Ive been all evening, even if they are referring to a bottle of wine.

Thomas is setting Landon up with some dude with a ponytail who I feel like is probably her kryptonite since he seem like the type of dude whod call himself an artist, too. Landon also greets everyone with bonsoir. Can we fucking stop pretending we’re European?

Patricia has a fortune teller at her party. What a rager. I am very sad I did not get an invite. Patricia, if youre reading this, I can clean up really well and I wont get belligerent drunk, which is more than I can say of at least half your guests. Hook a girl up.

This is the first/most weve seen of Whitney in like, two weeks. Some girl said hi to Shep and called him babe and I can see the smoke coming out of Landons ears. OMG JUST HIT ON HIM ALREADY, THIS IS SO PATHETIC TO WATCH.

Craig got Patricia this gaudy flamingo-decorated martini glass and Patricia just HAS to drop that she has 18th-century porcelain. Calm down, Patricia, nobody doubts that you have class. You don’t need to be so ostentatious.

Whitney: Trying to watch Thomas flirt with girls is like trying to watch your horny drunk uncle.

YES. SPOT ON. Somebody give Whitney more screen time!

Cameran shows up poss wasted and with a huge flamingo hat. Cameran is me in college, committing to the theme so hard she doesn’t care if she looks ridiculous.

Five seconds into the party, and Shep is already naked and in the pool. Don’t you know this is a classy affair??

Craig confronts Thomas about Kathryns hospital visit and asks if he saw her. Thomas is likeand Craig is like *sips wine*

Shit-starting Jen may or may not be lying about Thomas not going to visit Kathryn. It’s about to get real.

Craig: One of the reasons Thomas hates Jen so much is because she was supposed to be the fun mistress and wasnt supposed to stick around and meddle in his affairs.

THE PLOT THICKENS. Who can we trust? Nobody, really. Everybodys conniving af. Except Cameran. Im really liking her. Can you tell?

Some girl Bailey asked Landon if she and Shep have ever fucked, or even kissed.

Landon: I’m not gonna lie, theres sometimes I wonder if Shep and I could be in a relationship but I dont wanna risk getting hurt.

Landon. OMG. You are more transparent than every Kardashian PR stunt ever. You clearly wonder ALL THE TIME if you and Shep could be in a relationship, why youre not, when hes going to wake up and realize youre the one for him

Shep gets his fortune told and the fortune teller is like and Sheps like and everyones like Shep is just making a bunch of thats what she said jokes like the mature gentleman he is. Landon, you picked a real winner.

The gay dude who visited Kathryn earlier in the first episode (idk his name, go cross-reference my other recap if you really care that much) pulls Patricia aside to be like

Patricia: I think its very unattractive that hes friends with Kathryn Dennis. Its very low-rent to me. (Yes, she actually used the words “low-rent.”)

Dude whose name I 100% forgot: Its very clear what Patricia sees in Kathryn that she doesnt like: she sees herself.

Patricia calls this dude a knockoff Truman Capote. I gotta say, the South has got their shit-talking on point.

Jen shows up and we already know its going to be good. Thomas is not pleased and calls her a piece of trash. HERE WE GO.

Thomas: Tell this chick Im going to throw her in the pool. JD: You dont need another assault charge, homie.

One things for sure: some type of confrontation is about to go down.

JD is talking about doing another polo match. Jen is likeaka,

Thomas is watching Jen talk to Elizabeth and JD and hes just seething over there. FWIW, Elizabeth seems like a very nice woman. Jen does not, really. Thomas pulls Jen aside.

Thomas: Craig told me you told him I didn’t see Kathryn in the hospital Jen: I meant you didnt stay overnight

Cut to: Jen definitely in plain English saying that Thomas wasnt there at all.

Then Jen criticizes Thomas for only being there for two hours. Like, splitting hairs much? Youre just looking for a reason to shit on him.

Jen: If Thomas is criticizing me for putting Kathryns health at risk, he needs to take a long hard look in the mirror and then go play in traffic.

Thomas: A blind person could see through these lies.

They have a lie vs. misunderstanding argument for like 30 seconds before Thomas tells Jennifer to fuck off.

Jennifer: Im the only friend Kathryn trusts. It would be nice if the father of her kids was the other one.

Thomas thinks its Jens mission in life to wreck his life and make him out to be the enemy.

Jen: Im torn between completely cussing him out and telling him how I really feel, or just feeling sorry for him because hes truly delusional.

AKA how I feel watching this show.

Jens like, and Thomas is like And I’m like:

Patricia is not going to like this argument. Very not luxe.

Just when you think punches are about to fly, they both walk away from the argument. Phew, dodged a bullet. Or like, an assault charge.

JD: Thomas and Kathryn have enough problems, Jennifer doesnt need to add to them. This dams gonna break.

Exciting news tidbit: Thomas pronounces water like wooder.

Whats the first thing Jennifer does after being accused of starting drama? She fucking calls Kathryn from the porch of Patricias house! Whitney is like because his mom has to fight his battles. Everybodys gathered to watch while acting like theyre too classy to watch. Jennifer leaves on her own accord, fuck this show for being anticlimactic AF. I wanted an eviction!

Jennifer: I know what Kathryns going through because now I’m the one nobody likes.

Thomas: I can take a lot. Imprisonment, false political allegations, but do not mess with my family. It’s only okay when I treat Kathryn like shit.

Jennifer leaves yelling and once again this show is so fucking anticlimactic! You built up this party for three fucking episodes and what did we get? A heated argument from which both adults walk away on their own accord, and not even one person gets thrown out? Give me some damn drama, give me a fucking cliffhanger! Come on, Bravo! Do better.

div.body_middle_part_right .bodypart:nth-child(n+2), a.prevBody{display: none;}

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/05/27/southern-charm-recap-flamingo-ing-crazy/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/161120493767

[allofbeercom]

Southern Charm Recap: Flamingo-ing Crazy

Evening, party people. Smiling faces, beautiful places, welcome back to another week of . Lets see what bat shit craziness this week has in store.

Cameran solidifies her role as the unofficial protagonist of the show, narrating the opening sequence (and even saying the word bitch. Well, I do declare!) My familys about to make fun of me for debasing myself by watching this show for yet another week. Suck it, dad, this shits entertaining and makes me feel like a very accomplished adult in comparison to these 35-year-old train wrecks. On a side note, Im kind of getting into this theme song. As an extra side note, my TV is broken and everything is green tinted, which is fitting, I feel.

We open with Thomas on the phone with JD, the former bitching about Kathryn (what else is new?). He rolls up to JDs house and cant even say yes to a cup of coffee without breaking out the French. Ugh, I thought that was a one-episode thing. Thomas apparently told Kathryn he wasnt cosigning her lease (after the whole polo fiasco, if you’ll recall) and she went so nuts that she ended up IN THE HOSPITAL AND MAY HAVE GONE INTO LABOR PREMATURELY. Jesus fucking Christ. So now, what does Thomas do? He agrees to cosign.

JD is like, wait, so you call Kathryn and tell her youre not cosigning, she gets upset, and now youre cosigning anyway because you feel bad for her

JD: I upset my wife plenty of times when she was pregnant but she didnt end up in the hospital over it.

Thomas is like, Wow, everybody was righthomegirl really does know how to manipulate.

Apparently Jennifer is the ultimate shadester, she used to date Thomas and screenshotted everything and sent it to Kathryn just to stir shit up. Taking it a bit far, don’t you think?

Thomas: If I can handle prison for six months, I can handle this bullshit for two more months.

Hold up, like actual prison or just being with Kathryn? Maybe that random Facebook commenter was right and I do need to go back and watch the show from season 1.

Cameran is one of those white people who answers the phone with, Yello! and we promptly learn she was up all night with diarrhea. Gross. Shep goes to watch Craig turn in his application for the bar exam because hes so full of shit that nobody believes him unless they see it with their own eyes. Thats gotta hurt, Craig.

Shep rolls up to good ol Gentry HQ and asks Craig how business is doing. Craig starts talking about some BS I zoned out pretty quick listening to, something about a bourbon side and a hotel side of something.Damn, and youre not gonna let Landon get in on this bourbon business? Thats cold, Craig.

Craig has one more step to nail before he can take the bar, and if he doesnt complete it in time he wont be able to take the test. I feel a setup coming on

These guys are literally arguing over which type of adhesive Craig should use to affix his passport photos to his application.

Cameran meets up with Danni, the roast thief from the earlier episode, and another friend for lunch. One of their friends orders a sweet tea instead of wine and they all jump on her immediately to ask if shes pregnant. Like…a girl can’t order a damn sweet tea in the middle of the day without everyone assuming she’s got a bun in the oven? Cameron is SO OBVIOUSLY not ready to be a mother and these bitches wont leave her the fuck alone about it. Newsflash: This is 2016! Women can aspire to more nowadays than just being a mother. Leave Cameran alone!

Cameran has anxiety too, she reveals, and this show is becoming one giant therapy advertisement. Just goes to show you, money cant solve all your problems. Spinoff idea: What if they all go to the same therapist? Also, Cam’s friend is like, because thats totally a cure for a legitimate mental illness. WTF is wrong with you. What decade do these people live in.

Only 15 minutes in and my fingers are already tired from all this ranting. Gonna be a long episode. Also, wtf happened to Whitney? Is he still alive?

Its finally (almost) time for the flamingo party. Yay! Patricia will be photographing this party for her entertainment book whcih, Im sorry, Im definitely buying. They’re going to have a ros tower and idk what that is, but I know I want one. Patricia is explaining those champagne tower things where you pour the champagne in the top of the pyramid and it spills into all the ones at the bottom and is like, No its not. Its basically 3D beer pong without the balls. Just chill.

Wait ok the Gentry is a hotel?? I feel like an idiot but if they wouldve just explained this shit at the beginning we wouldnt be here. Anyway, Landon and Craig are prepping for the party and going to a spa.

Landon: Part of being a Southern belle is being well-kept, which makes you a good person.

Yeah, maybe on the outside. Im not convinced any of you except Cameran are good people on the inside. And maybeee Craig. He seems pretty earnest.

Craig is aiming for Gatsby-ish pink in terms of outfit color and Landon is like, Im sorry, bitch what? Don’t be over there acting like your Southern asses did not fucking invent salmon pink shorts as a menswear item. Yeah, you THOUGHT you could insult us Yankees.

Jennifer called Craig to let him know Kathryn literally made herself sick and is in the hospital, and he of course feels super bad for her. Meanwhile, Landon does not give one shit!

Landon: Ugh here we go with the drama. People go to the hospital every day. Calm the fuck down.

Okay, people also die everyday, does that make dying any less shitty?

Landon: Did she really almost die? Doubt it. TTYL, DGAF, going to the spa.

Jennifer tells Craig that Thomas didn’t visit Kathryn in the hospital. This detail is important later, so keep it in mind.

Landon: Im tired of Kathryn controlling and manipulating everyone with this child, Im not gonna be manipulated by this psychopath.

Landon literally thinks Kathryn got a slight headache and rushed to the ER. Not sure if this is warranted or not but I’m semi impressed by the fact that she can’t even pretend to be mildly concerned.

We see Kathryn and she explains she basically gave herself such high blood pressure that it affected the baby. IDK how you can personally know what your own blood pressure feels like unless youre constantly taking it, but ok.

Kathryn: All this baby and I need is a stable place to live in a not-stressful environment and if Thomas wont help me get a huge-ass house he doesnt deserve to be in my babys life as far as Im concerned.

Bonus round: Kathryn manipulates Thomas into helping her move, too.

Kathryn: Cosigning on this house is the least he could do for me at this point. YOU MEAN ASIDE FROM THE LIKE $2500 YOU GET A MONTH? YEAH, I REMEMBER THAT FROM LAST EPISODE, IM NOT A FUCKING IDIOT.

Back at Patricias house where shes still setting up for the flamingo party. God damn, they are milking it.

Patricia: I grew up in the 50s. Mothers wore dresses and high heels and had their hair and makeup done. Ive always maintained you have to put on the dog and try to ge as glamorous as you can.

IDK what putting on the dog means but thats gonna be my next getting ready Instagram caption.

Sligthly disappointed there are no real flamingos at this flamingo party. I was definitely holding out for some exotic birds to be present.

Thomas saying yeah, pop that is the most uncomfortable Ive been all evening, even if they are referring to a bottle of wine.

Thomas is setting Landon up with some dude with a ponytail who I feel like is probably her kryptonite since he seem like the type of dude whod call himself an artist, too. Landon also greets everyone with bonsoir. Can we fucking stop pretending we’re European?

Patricia has a fortune teller at her party. What a rager. I am very sad I did not get an invite. Patricia, if youre reading this, I can clean up really well and I wont get belligerent drunk, which is more than I can say of at least half your guests. Hook a girl up.

This is the first/most weve seen of Whitney in like, two weeks. Some girl said hi to Shep and called him babe and I can see the smoke coming out of Landons ears. OMG JUST HIT ON HIM ALREADY, THIS IS SO PATHETIC TO WATCH.

Craig got Patricia this gaudy flamingo-decorated martini glass and Patricia just HAS to drop that she has 18th-century porcelain. Calm down, Patricia, nobody doubts that you have class. You don’t need to be so ostentatious.

Whitney: Trying to watch Thomas flirt with girls is like trying to watch your horny drunk uncle.

YES. SPOT ON. Somebody give Whitney more screen time!

Cameran shows up poss wasted and with a huge flamingo hat. Cameran is me in college, committing to the theme so hard she doesn’t care if she looks ridiculous.

Five seconds into the party, and Shep is already naked and in the pool. Don’t you know this is a classy affair??

Craig confronts Thomas about Kathryns hospital visit and asks if he saw her. Thomas is likeand Craig is like *sips wine*

Shit-starting Jen may or may not be lying about Thomas not going to visit Kathryn. It’s about to get real.

Craig: One of the reasons Thomas hates Jen so much is because she was supposed to be the fun mistress and wasnt supposed to stick around and meddle in his affairs.

THE PLOT THICKENS. Who can we trust? Nobody, really. Everybodys conniving af. Except Cameran. Im really liking her. Can you tell?

Some girl Bailey asked Landon if she and Shep have ever fucked, or even kissed.

Landon: I’m not gonna lie, theres sometimes I wonder if Shep and I could be in a relationship but I dont wanna risk getting hurt.

Landon. OMG. You are more transparent than every Kardashian PR stunt ever. You clearly wonder ALL THE TIME if you and Shep could be in a relationship, why youre not, when hes going to wake up and realize youre the one for him

Shep gets his fortune told and the fortune teller is like and Sheps like and everyones like Shep is just making a bunch of thats what she said jokes like the mature gentleman he is. Landon, you picked a real winner.

The gay dude who visited Kathryn earlier in the first episode (idk his name, go cross-reference my other recap if you really care that much) pulls Patricia aside to be like

Patricia: I think its very unattractive that hes friends with Kathryn Dennis. Its very low-rent to me. (Yes, she actually used the words “low-rent.”)

Dude whose name I 100% forgot: Its very clear what Patricia sees in Kathryn that she doesnt like: she sees herself.

Patricia calls this dude a knockoff Truman Capote. I gotta say, the South has got their shit-talking on point.

Jen shows up and we already know its going to be good. Thomas is not pleased and calls her a piece of trash. HERE WE GO.

Thomas: Tell this chick Im going to throw her in the pool. JD: You dont need another assault charge, homie.

One things for sure: some type of confrontation is about to go down.

JD is talking about doing another polo match. Jen is likeaka,

Thomas is watching Jen talk to Elizabeth and JD and hes just seething over there. FWIW, Elizabeth seems like a very nice woman. Jen does not, really. Thomas pulls Jen aside.

Thomas: Craig told me you told him I didn’t see Kathryn in the hospital Jen: I meant you didnt stay overnight

Cut to: Jen definitely in plain English saying that Thomas wasnt there at all.

Then Jen criticizes Thomas for only being there for two hours. Like, splitting hairs much? Youre just looking for a reason to shit on him.

Jen: If Thomas is criticizing me for putting Kathryns health at risk, he needs to take a long hard look in the mirror and then go play in traffic.

Thomas: A blind person could see through these lies.

They have a lie vs. misunderstanding argument for like 30 seconds before Thomas tells Jennifer to fuck off.

Jennifer: Im the only friend Kathryn trusts. It would be nice if the father of her kids was the other one.

Thomas thinks its Jens mission in life to wreck his life and make him out to be the enemy.

Jen: Im torn between completely cussing him out and telling him how I really feel, or just feeling sorry for him because hes truly delusional.

AKA how I feel watching this show.

Jens like, and Thomas is like And I’m like:

Patricia is not going to like this argument. Very not luxe.

Just when you think punches are about to fly, they both walk away from the argument. Phew, dodged a bullet. Or like, an assault charge.

JD: Thomas and Kathryn have enough problems, Jennifer doesnt need to add to them. This dams gonna break.

Exciting news tidbit: Thomas pronounces water like wooder.

Whats the first thing Jennifer does after being accused of starting drama? She fucking calls Kathryn from the porch of Patricias house! Whitney is like because his mom has to fight his battles. Everybodys gathered to watch while acting like theyre too classy to watch. Jennifer leaves on her own accord, fuck this show for being anticlimactic AF. I wanted an eviction!

Jennifer: I know what Kathryns going through because now I’m the one nobody likes.

Thomas: I can take a lot. Imprisonment, false political allegations, but do not mess with my family. It’s only okay when I treat Kathryn like shit.

Jennifer leaves yelling and once again this show is so fucking anticlimactic! You built up this party for three fucking episodes and what did we get? A heated argument from which both adults walk away on their own accord, and not even one person gets thrown out? Give me some damn drama, give me a fucking cliffhanger! Come on, Bravo! Do better.

div.body_middle_part_right .bodypart:nth-child(n+2), a.prevBody{display: none;}

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/05/27/southern-charm-recap-flamingo-ing-crazy/