#ive only been drawing commissions for the past week so this one was for ME

[mokadevs]

"it's a good thing you aren't an angel, for i'd have made you fall long ago"

[httpjeon]

SEHEBON ― KTH (M.)

synopsis. you find yourself on izo huen, home to the sehebon. luckily for you, you've arrived at an interesting time.

pairing. taehyung/reader genre. angst, fluff, smut au. alien!au wordcount. 16,580 contents. Huge Dick Tae, cocky!tae, soft!tae, protective!tae, lowkey possessive!tae, human!kink, slight harrassment, dom/sub themes, size kink, size difference, sensitivity kink?, orgasm kink?, cunt slapping, breath play, dry humping, cunnilingus, fingering, cumflation, belly bulging, lowkey consent kink, unrealistic sex but it’s aliens what do u expect, lots of mention of humanity note. tae just wants to learn human things ):

blog masterlist. made of stardust masterlist.

© httpjeon 2020. do not repost, modify, or translate.

It had been a little over a half a year since your move to the Vela System of the Fanet IV Galaxy courtesy of the Interplanetary Relations Commission had begun. You were still adjusting to your new environment, Izo Huen being a vastly different place compared to Earth in terms of culture and climate.

"So, to wrap up the events of this past week," you shifted in your chair, staring into the lens of the camera you used to send reports to your superiors, "I met with the head of the Embassy for a dinner in order to meet the head of Izo Huen's military. The only way I can describe the whole interaction is...tense. Warrior Sehebon are truly another level of terrifying. Horrible burns across their bodies correlate with the information we had about their rituals. They wear the burns with pride, however ― a mark of bravery I suppose. The middle of the week was rather uneventful," you shifted in your seat, leaning over just out of frame to take a sip of your water. You stared at the arched ceiling, thinking of anything that could come to mind of importance to note. Outside your window, you could see people walking through the streets, laughing and chatting with one another.

"Oh!" you sat up straight again, "The monthly market came back once again. This time it was mostly vendors from Liana. They had the most amazing fruits I'd ever seen ― nothing like Earths. They were delicious too, so sweet. I wish I could send some back for everyone to be able to taste. You know," your gaze shifted out your window again, to the people bustling about, "Things got really hectic here in Fia recently, I don't know what it is. They're hanging banners up and there seems to have been an extreme increase in population of the city. I'm not completely sure what's going on."

After ending your weekly log and sending it to your fellow researchers on Earth, you downed the rest of your water and groaned. Izo Huen was sweltering hot, the two suns that hung in the sky upping the temperature past comfortable.

You couldn't wait for night to come, the freezing cold giving you a wonderful excuse to cuddle under the wool blankets.You decided to take a bath to pass the time, as it would be night in just a few hours. Plus, you desperately wanted to wash the days grime off your body.

By the time you woke up the next day, you were acutely aware of how incredibly loud it was outside. Shouts and cheers emanated from just outside your window. So with sleep-filled eyes you hurriedly dressed yourself and rushed out to see what the fuss was all about.When you stepped out of the door, you were shocked by the incredible crowd of people filling the streets.

Banners and streamers, even balloons, decorated every inch that could be covered. The alphabet was one you hadn't yet learned to decipher so the meanings were completely lost on you.

"Excuse me?" you asked a nearby woman. She was much taller than you ― a key trait in both men and women of their race. She turned and looked down at you with surprise in her eyes, "What's going on?"

"It's the pre-celebration," she answered as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

She turned her back to you once again and quickly disappeared into the crowd and you sighed. Sehebon citizens were still getting used to their planet being visited by other races outside their own solar system ― they were the newest planet to be opened for visits by the Interplanetary Commission.

It unfortunately resulted in some of the citizens to hold ill feelings towards those entering their cities.

Sighing, you decided to follow the flow of the crowd to appease your own rabid curiosity. A lot of the cultural information on Sehebon had yet to be discovered or disclosed, as a race that held their own traditions close to their hearts.

You were surprised that the place everyone was flocking to was the massive Colosseum that was centered in the very middle of the city. Larger than any stadium found on Earth, you'd never had the opportunity to find out what it was for.

In your excitement to get through the crowd of large Sehebon, you stumbled over your own feet and hit the ground hard ― knocking the air out of you. The crowd didn't wait, stepping over you and for a second you were scared you would be literally crushed under a stampede.

However, strong hands grabbed your arms and lifted you up, grabbing your wrist and dragging you out of the crowd. You stumbled trying to catch up, with his large steps while trying not to end up slammed into unsuspecting people.

The person tugging you pulled you out of the crowd and rounding the stone walls until you realized the amount of people had dissipated. You had the opportunity to look at the person who had helped you ― a male Sehebon finding a safe spot for you and finally slowing down.

"I...thank you," you muttered when he didn't say anything, his back still facing you.

"You're a human right?" he asked, finally turning to you. You choked on your own spit at the sight of him ― black hair hanging over two pretty dark eyes. He was tall, probably a little above average for his race and he was absolutely gorgeous, "I heard there was one staying in Fia but...damn."

"Uh...I'm an advocate for the Interplanetary Commission," you sputtered out, unable to break your gaze away from his face. He had tanned skin, smooth as could be with a jaw so sharp it could cut glass, "I'm from Earth, yes. My name is _____."

"Incredible," he moved closer, having to lean down to look at you how he wanted. You could feel his breath on your face and you could see the way he had one mono-lid and one double ― which was absolutely adorable, "My name is Taehyung...you know, you're so...small."

"I-I'm actually quite average," you refuted, glancing away under the power of his gaze.

"Maybe by human standards but..." he straightened up, looking around, "You should be careful. You can get hurt easily, you're lucky I saw you fall and bothered to help you."

"Bothered..." you whispered with a soft scoff. You could still feel his eyes on you, burning into you as if he was analyzing every inch of you, "Hey, so what's going on anyway?"

"You don't know?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow when you shook your head.

"I asked someone and she just said it was a pre-celebration," you shrugged.

"Yeah sort of," Taehyung gnawed at the inside of his cheek, jaw cocking to one side at the action, "It's gonna be our lottery in a few days so we come to the stadium to get our tickets."

"Wait...lottery? Like a money thing?" you asked, "You guys have that?"

"What?" Taehyung shook his head, staring at you like you were stupid and you suddenly felt embarrassed.

"O-On Earth we have this thing called a lottery and...you scratch these little papers and you can win money," you explained, hoping to help him make sense of you assumption.

"Huh, that's interesting," he actually did seem interested and maybe a little impressed, making you feel weirdly proud, "But no, that's not what we have. Once a year the government holds a lottery here in Fia, in the stadium. You draw and if your number is picked you gotta fight."

His words made you blank out.

Fight?

They had to fight?

"What the hell?" you sputtered before you could stop yourself and Taehyung cocked his head to the side.

"Have you not read any of the banners and information sheets floating around?" he asked, shoving his hands in his jeans pockets, "They put them up to inform new visitors of what's going on, you know."

"I..." you cleared your throat, suddenly feeling embarrassed again, "Can't read the alphabet."

Taehyung went quiet for a minute before he snorted, beginning to laugh way too much for the simple problem you had. Your cheeks burned as he held his stomach, no doubt aching from how hard he was laughing.

"Oh my gosh!" he choked, wiping under his eyes, "Y-You're illiterate!"

"I am not illiterate!" you gasped, ears beginning to burn now at his accusation, "I-I just haven't had a need to read the alphabet! Since we speak the same language, you know?!"

"Okay, okay," he sniffled, finally calming down from his outburst. He looked down at you and cooed, placing his hand on your head, "Aw, don't-don't pout, I'm sorry. You're so cute!"

"St-Stop making fun of me!" you whined, petulantly stomping your foot which just made him coo more at you, calling you cute.

"I'm not making fun of you!" he argued, standing at his full height again, making you look up, "Isn't it only natural that I find the small little human girl cute? You're so...small."

"So you keep saying," you mumbled, crossing your arms over your chest, "Are you going to go into the stadium?"

"Yeah, probably a little while later," he shrugged, shoving his hands in his pockets, "It'll calm down soon enough and it'll be less hectic. You're welcome to wait with me, if you'd like."

"I might as well," you sighed, leaning back so you rested your shoulder against the wall, "I'll probably literally be killed if I try to go in there at this point."

"Probably," he agreed, looking away from you when you squinted up to glare at him, "Say..." He looked back at you, head cocked to the side curiously, "Is it true Earth has a lot of oceans? And only one Sun?"

"Eh? Yeah, that's right," you nodded, making him hum, "You've never been to Earth?"

"Nah, can't afford to make that trip," he sighed, sliding down the side of the wall to sit on the ground, "I read about it when the news that we'd be open for visits from them, though. Here sit," he tugged your hand until you were finally sitting beside him.

"About this...fight," his head lulled to the side as he gazed at your through his lashes, "What...why do you guys do it? How's it work?"

"Well," he rested his hands on his bent knees, head resting against the wall behind him again, "You know majority of our planet is uninhabitable right?"

"Yeah, dominated by deadly deserts that will kill even Sehebon," you replied mechanically, having studied their landscape immensely on your voyage from Earth.

"Then you also know there's only a few, select places suitable for us to live," you nodded and he continued, "We have three cities on Izu Huen, Fia our capitol, Veles, and Holis. That isn't a lot of room for an entire planet to live, right? We have to stay within the habitable zone and fit every person on the planet in the cities. Excluding those that have the means to move to Vimoldara, that is. That's a lot of people, isn't it?"

"Wait," you sat up straighter, jaw dropping open, "You mean, it's a form of population control?"

"That and," his gaze turned much darker, sending a chill up your spine, "It's a chance for us to show each other how strong we are. That we're the best and we deserve to live, we offer more. Those who lose are killed and only the winner can stand."

"That's..." you cleared your throat uncomfortably, "That's scary."

"Not for us," Taehyung shrugged, casting a sideways glance your way, "It's a celebration. We're all excited and ready to do it. We get to make our families and ancestors proud as we fight."

You hummed, still weary of the lottery but kept the rest of your opinions to yourself. You and Taehyung dissolved into talking about things he was curious about on Earth, deciding it would be worth it to travel there simply after hearing what a cheeseburger was.

The suns began to set when Taehyung stood, helping you to your feet.

"We should be able to get in easily now," you followed him to the large entrance that you'd been unable to see past when you had first approached.

With the smaller influx of people, you could see fully inside the stadium. There were banners and decorations strewn about everywhere, a wash of white, red and black colors seeming to be the theme. In the very center of the stadium was a booth with a man standing inside, handing things out to the people in line.

"I hope he doesn't think I'm here to pick a lottery," you mumbled to yourself as you stood in line with Taehyung. He was still holding onto your hand as you waited, large fingers wrapping completely around your wrist, making the size difference more apparent.

He really was right when he said you were small. But his hand was so warm and comforting against your skin that it made you feel...cute.

"Nah, they won't assume a foreigner is here to participate," he said, not breaking his gaze from the booth.

By the time you reached the booth, the suns were down to just peeking over the horizon and the moon was, instead, shining large in the sky. The temperature was dropping and you couldn't help but move closer to Taehyung for warmth. You weren’t dressed to be out at night, you’d only anticipated spending the daytime hours out.

"Thank you," he said, tucking a slip of paper into his pocket after folding it up. The man behind the booth nodded, waving the next person forwards.

He began to walk when he paused, looking down at you with wide eyes. You scrambled to detach yourself from his side, not realizing just how close you were to him. However, you were quickly brought back when he pulled you flush against him again with a small smile.

"You humans are so fragile," he breathed, beginning walk, keeping you tucked into his side. Your face was burning with embarrassment but you also felt a strange sense of pride flowing through you at the prospect of such a good looking man treating you like he was.

"I-It just gets really cold here, you know?" you mumbled, trying to defend yourself albeit weakly.

His chest vibrated with his laughter, tightening his hold around your shoulders, "I guess if you're not used to it. You live around here?"

"Uh yeah," you pointed in the general direction of where you were staying, "I live down this road a ways."

"Alright, I'll walk you there," he offered, though he left no option to refuse.

You both fell silent as you walked, every once in a while another person would pass and stare at the two of you. Their eyes followed you even as you passed, turning back to stare at you and you began to feel strange about it.

"Why is everyone looking at us like that?" you asked suddenly, making him look down. The moonlight cast a soft glow on his face causing the shadow of his lashes to dust his cheeks.

"Probably because you're a human and you're with me," he answered as if it was the most normal thing in the world, "It's not exactly common for Sehebon and foreigners to be together yet."

You swallowed thickly, cheeks burning for the thousandth time that day it seemed.

It wasn't long before you reached the stoop of your house and you dislodged yourself from Taehyung, wrapping your arms around yourself to keep in the warmth you now missed.

"Um thanks for walking me home," you said, shrugging your shoulders self-consciously as his eyes scanned over your body.

"It was my pleasure," he leaned closer to you, "Hey, why don't you come to the celebration in a couple days, hm?"

"You mean the fighting?" you asked, feeling uneasy at the invitation. He nodded eagerly, eyes bright in excitement, "Taehyung, I do understand it's an important practice for you...it's your culture. But humans and Earth...it's punishable to kill someone. It's against the law. We find the concept of death scary...you know?"

His head cocked to the side, brows furrowed and the excitement in his eyes gone, "You're scared to die? And you don't like to see others die?"

"Exactly, it's...it's a very negative thing for humans," you attempted to explain while trying not to upset him.

"You know being invited to a fight is a very special thing," he muttered with a frown, leaning close to you so his nose was touching yours. Your eyes grew wide at the fire burning in his eyes and you swallowed nervously, "It's very offensive to reject an invitation to a fight. I want to show you how good I am, how well I can fight. I want you to be proud of me. Impressed by me."

Your mouth grew dry at his words and the way he uttered them, deep voice dark and no hint of the gentleness he had spoken with before. You attempted to move back but found your back pressed against the door. He loomed over you, leaning on his forearms above your head ― caging you in. Strangely, the only thing you could think of was how good he smelled; like the fruits you'd eaten a couple days ago.

"I-I'm sorry, Taehyung," you whispered, licking your lips in an effort to rid yourself of your nerves, "I just...Y-You don't need to kill someone t-to impress me, you know?"

"Then how can I?" he squinted, "I find you fascinating. A cute little human girl, smart and charming. I want to...what is it you humans call it...court you?"

You wanted to smile at the sound of the outdated term he used. But it was stopped by his confession, of what he thought of you.

"W-Well...you're trying to court a human girl..." you spoke slowly, meeting his eyes in faux confidence even though your heart was beating a mile a minute, "Why don't you try...a human method?"

"A human method," he gnawed on the inside of his cheek ― apparently a habit he had while thinking, "What are human methods?"

"Well um..." you noticed that with his body covering yours like it was, you weren't affected by the cold and that your trembles were no doubt excitement, "Like...dates. Do you guys have dates?"

"Usually an invitation to fight for someone to see is sufficient enough to begin a relationship," he explained, making you sigh. He frowned at the sound and leaned closer to you to meet your gaze, "Tell me what to do and I'll do it."

"F-For humans usually a man will ask a woman on a date," you explained simply, "Like...you would ask to take me to see a movie or take me to dinner."

"A dinner," he repeated, seeming to mull it over for a moment before nodding. The dark look was gone and he smiled the cutest boxy smile you'd ever seen in your life, "Then I'd like to take you to dinner, _____."

"I'd like that, Taehyung," you smiled, feeling your cheeks burn under his soft gaze.

"After my fight, to celebrate my win I'll take you."

"Alright, Taehyung, I look forward to it," after what seemed like an eternity, his eyes flickering from your lips to your eyes, he finally stood up straight. The cold immediately began to sink into your bones and he stepped back off your stoop.

"See you soon, cutie," he waved, twiddling his fingers before spinning on his heel and walking in the direction you both had just came from.

You opened your front door, slipping inside and relaxing once the warmth hit you. Leaning back against the door, you pressed your hand to your chest and sighed.

"Not how I expected my day to turn out," you mumbled, taking a seat at your chair in front of the camera, turning it on so the red light blinked indicating recording, "I know it hasn't been a week yet but I've found something interesting. I met a man named Taehyung and he told that they're about to begin a planet-wide lottery. Everyone draws a number and they're picked to fight. It's a...form of population control and some kind of cultural flex on each other to show who is the toughest and bravest. The fights are set to take place in a few days and I was invited but...I had to decline. The prospect of watching it was just too much for me to consider so I apologize for that."

You went quiet for a second, deciding to leave out the fact that the invitation was an attempt to ask you out. You greeted the people who would be watched goodbye and shut off the camera, turning to your computer monitor and hurriedly sending the video before shutting everything down.

The city was quiet for the next few days, everyone packed into the stadium. You would frequently hear the thunderous roar of the crowd but ultimately did your best to block out the prospect of the death no doubt going on.

You laid on your bed, reading a book you'd read several times already but lacked the means to acquire a new one. You wouldn't be able to read the books in an alphabet you couldn't read. Though you could take the time to learn but, you were in no mood to study.

As expected, you found yourself thinking of Taehyung. He was charming, no doubt, and you were surprised by how much you ultimately enjoyed his company. It was quick that he decided he wanted to date you, by human standards anyway, but Sehebon were very fast-moving people as more than half their race were warriors who could be killed in the blink of an eye. No doubt a cause for Taehyung's rush to be with you.

You couldn't deny the complete attraction you had for him; he was incredibly good looking and had the cutest smile. His voice was hypnotic, smooth as whiskey and as deep as the ocean. Dating someone of a completely different species wasn't the strangest thing by far ― plenty of humans had counterparts from different races. Dating a Sehebon, on the other hand, was different since the brand new introduction of their race to humans.

There was no fear that Taehyung would bring you any harm or have ill intentions, there was just a lot of confusion about him. You didn't exactly know much about who he was as a person rather than his race.

The date would no doubt clear things up and open doors for you.

Remembering the fact you would be going on a date with him set butterflies off in your tummy and you bit your lip to hold back the gleeful grin that threatened to spread across your face.

It was a full week before the streets became the same again. The population of Fia went back to normal as visitors from other cities left and went back home. The banners were taken down from around your street and before long everything seemed to have returned to the way it was.

Unfortunately, you were running out of food so you needed to go food shopping. As the suns were beginning to set, with the temperature steadily dropping, is when you decided to go shopping.

You slid a sweater on to keep you warm before stepping out the door. It was still a little warm but you knew you'd be grateful for your choice later.

In the past, you'd made the mistake of forgoing something warm and had to quite literally run home before you froze to death.

You carried a bag, an effect from when you lived on Earth and refused to use plastic bags in fear they'd end up in the oceans. When you first presented the bag at the local grocers, the cashier had looked at you like you were stupid ― making you feel just a tad self-conscious.

Fortunately, they'd now grown used to your practice and barely batted an eye in response when you brought.

The shop wasn't busy during that time of day and you were thankful to be able to navigate the aisles without having to avoid the giant Sehebon people that easily blocked your shelf access. You packed your bag with things you were vaguely familiar with. There was a lot of food you didn't dare try ― you couldn't read what it said or it was just gross looking.

Unfortunately, however, the shelves were so damn tall that you sometimes had to scale them to actually reach the things you needed. Standing on your tippy-toes using one of the shelves to grab a simple box of noodles ― something you were very pleased to find on Izo Huen.

You chose a lot of fruits and vegetables ― trusting them more than their alien-meats. You were basically the alien version of a vegetarian at that point.

When you stepped outside, you were immediately grateful of the sweater you wore. The cold still seemed to seep in a bit but it was tolerable despite the light shivers that took you. Carrying your bag, you hummed a tune to yourself as you navigated the darkening streets. The lamps were lit to illuminate your way but there were no other people in sight, making you feel calm.

"Hey, you a human?" scratch that, there were people.

You paused, looking into an alleyway separating two residential streets. A small group of young men were smoking cigarettes. Part of you wondered if they were cigarettes or some Izo Huen-version.

"Yes I'm a human," you replied, pulling your bag off your shoulder to hold it in front of you.

"You want a hit?" one of them asked you, offering you what he was smoking off of.

"N-No thank you," you backed away slightly to get away from the smoke emanating off the burning end, "I really should be getting home...I have things to put away."

You turned to walk away but a hand aggressively gripped your arm to stop you, startling a gasp out of you.

"Hey, that hurts," you mumbled, attempting to tug your arm free but he tugged you closer to him, "Let go!"

Before he had the chance to speak, a hand was violently wrapped around his throat and slammed him back. He pulled you with him slightly, knocking you to the ground as the man was pinned to the wall. Looking up, you could see Taehyung leaning close to him ― whispering something that had the man's eyes widening.

"Do you understand?" Taehyung growled, loud enough for you to hear. The man nodded so hard you were sure he was going to give himself a headache. Taehyung held him still for several more seconds, looking over him to make sure he was telling the truth.

When the man was dropped, he took off down the alleyway with his friends following, none of them daring to look back.

"Are you alright?" he asked, crouching down to where you were sitting on the ground. He cupped your cheek ever so softly, thumb grazing beneath your eye, "I didn't mean for you to get knocked down."

"It's alright," you muttered, using his shoulders to pull yourself back to your feet. He remained crouched for a moment, just gazing up at you silently, "W-What is it?"

"You should be more careful, _____," he said, picking up the bag of groceries you had dropped, tucking some of the things that had been knocked out back in where they belonged, "Didn't I tell you that you could get hurt?"

"W-Well yes but that was different― "

"It wasn't," he snapped, moving close to you once again. Fingers hooked beneath your chin to make you look at him, "Don't you understand how much people want you? How they look at you when you walk around?"

"N-No..." you blinked as you tried to recall any staring while you were on your own.

"Everyone finds you alluring here, _____," Taehyung's voice dropped and he stepped even closer so your foreheads were just barely touching, "The cute little human girl. And I'd be very disappointed if I had to kill someone for hurting you."

You were speechless, lost staring in the fiery blaze within his eyes. He held your gaze for several seconds before stepping back and smiling.

"I'll walk you home, I was on my way to see you anyway," you sputtered in shock as he tugged your hand in the direction of your home ― his rapid change of demeanor no doubt going to give you whiplash.

Your feet pounded the pavement as you struggled to keep up with his large strides. You were running out of breath and stamina, though he appeared unaffected.

"T-Tae...can you s-slow down?" he halted in his tracks so suddenly that you fully ran into his back.

"What did you call me?" he looked over his shoulder, staring sharply down at you.

"I-I..." you pulled yourself away from his back and stuttered, "I called you Tae. I'm sorry i-it just slipped out...h-humans like to make n-nicknames, you know?"

He was quiet for a second before he turned around completely, cocking his head to the side.

"Say it again," he commanded.

"Uh...T-Tae?" the name sounded more awkward than it had before coming out of your mouth.

"Hmm," he made a noise akin to a moan, rolling his head back in response before looking down and smirking, "I like that. You're the only one allowed to call me that, yeah?"

"A-Alright," your heart was racing from the way he had reacted to the nickname but you didn't get to dwell on it long before he was tugging you along once again.

You stood on your stoop again, looking at Taehyung, a small smile on his lips as he watched you. He held your bag of groceries out for you and you had to hold back a gasp when your hand brushed his.

"Shit, your hands are freezing!" he gasped, taking one of your hands in his and bringing them closer to him.

"U-Uh yeah it's...pretty cold," your words came out a whisper, reveling in how warm his hands were against yours.

"Poor thing," your eyes widened as he pulled your hand up to his lips, pressing a soft kiss against your fingers.

"T-Tae," the nickname had his eyes flicking up and he hummed, pressing another kiss against them.

"Did you like that?" he dropped your hand from his lips but continued to hold it, smiling at you, "I read in a book about common human practices for courting and it said a kiss to the hand will make her heart flutter. Did it work?"

"I..." you swallowed thickly, nodding your head ever so slightly, "I-It was nice, Tae..."

The two of you fell quiet, his hand enveloping yours and his soft gaze fixated on you. Your groceries hung in his free hand and he slowly reached out to hand them to you once again. Once the bag was in your hands, he released your hand from his hold and shoved his own into his pockets. He stepped backwards off the stoop but continued to stare at you, bottom lip tucked in his mouth.

Your eyes danced over his body ― never really looking him over that much besides his face. He had a black button-up tucked into tight fitting jeans and boots that made him even taller than he already was. It surprised you how thick his thighs were but how small his waist was ― it's like he was sculpted by actual gods.

"Well," he smirked, no doubt having caught you staring, "See you around, cutie."

"Hey, Tae wait!" you called before you could stop yourself.

He halted immediately, turning to look at you once again, "You alright?"

"I just..." he jogged back to the stoop, stepping up and moving close to yours.

He cupped your chin between his fingers and made you look up at him.

"You can tell me, sweetheart," his brows were drawn together in concern.

The pet name causing a shiver to go down your spine, "What is it?"

"C-Can...Would you...like to stay for a while?" your cheeks were on fire and you couldn't meet his gaze after whispering the words.

Taehyung's eyes softened and his lips quirked up, running his thumb over your lips for a split second ― so light you almost missed it. He stood up straighter, removing his fingers from your face. You found yourself missing the touch and your heart was pounding at the possible rejection you could face.

"Were you nervous to ask me that, baby?" your core lit on fire at the new pet name and you held in a whimper, "I'd love to stay with you."

"O-Okay..." you reached behind you, turning the knob and pushing the door open.

Warmth hit you from the inside and you scurried out of Taehyung's view as fast as you could to the kitchen. You could hear him walking, the sound of his boots on the floor seeming deafening in the silence of the house. Leaning against the counter, you took a few deep breaths to steady yourself.

You began putting your groceries away in their designated places, noticing that Taehyung's footsteps had gone silent.

"This place given to you by your job?" he asked suddenly, making you jump.

"Um...yeah," you cleared your throat, "It's nothing special but it's cozy."

"It's nice," he muttered before falling silent.

You placed the box of noodles in your cabinet, steeling yourself before moving to the living room. Your brain nearly short-circuited at the sight before you.

Taehyung sat on your couch, legs spread wide and arms stretched out on the back of the couch. His head was tilted back, exposing beautiful expanse of throat. The way he sat was so confident and commanding that you had to clench your thighs together to control yourself.

"Um...are you okay?" you whispered, stepping forward as he lifted his head to look at you.

"I'm perfect," he responded, scooting to the side to allow you to sit beside him, "I think I've figured out a place to take you on our date."

"Oh?" you'd nearly forgotten about the date, "So you're ready to take me?"

"I'm thinking tomorrow, if that's okay," he looked down at you and you smiled.

"I'd love that," your gaze fell to your thighs, noticing the size difference between his and yours ― reminding you of how large he was.

Flicking your eyes up, you were frozen by the sharpness in his own as he stared at you. As you kept his gaze, you felt one of his hands find its way to your thigh and you bit your lip to keep from outright whimpering at the feeling.

"You're so soft," he muttered, shifting to turn more towards you, "And absolutely breathtaking..."

His lips drew closer to yours, his hair brushing your nose as he dipped down. When he pressed them completely, his hand tightened around your thigh. You whimpered, seeming to set Taehyung off as he cupped the back of your head with his free hand ― deepening the kiss.

Your hands clutched at the front of his shirt, losing yourself in the feeling of his lips and hands on you. The hand on your thigh traveled up, grazing your hip, drifting up your stomach and over your breasts before wrapping around your throat. You gasped at the feeling, lips parting from Taehyung's just slightly before you surged back forward to reconnect them.

He groaned against your lips, giving your neck the lightest squeeze before he released you and reached lower to cup your breast through your sweater. You arched your back into the muffled touch but he didn't linger for long because his hand was diving between your legs.

Your jeans impeded you from feeling his touch properly and you whimpered, grinding your hips forward in hopes to remedy the problem. You reached down, holding his hand against your core as you whimpered into his lips.

"Do you want me to touch you, pretty baby?" he asked, kiss parting until your lips just barely brushed his.

"P-Please Tae," you whimpered, feeling your eyes sting with tears of desperation ― having never wanted to be touched so badly in your life.

Taehyung didn't reconnect the kiss, instead he tilted your head back to press his lips to your neck. His long fingers unbuttoned your jeans and hurriedly tugged them off your hips until you finally reached down to pull them off completely, tossing them away.

The way you cried out when his hand cupped you again, this time through your panties, was nothing less than lewd. He tugged your thighs open further, one of them resting across his own, leaving you completely open to his fingers.

"Sound so pretty," he mumbled, teeth grazing your neck where he continued to mouth at you.

You wrapped one hand around his wrist, dragging his fingers up ever so slightly until you were able to push them past the band of your panties. He immediately took over, fingers diving between your folds to find just how wet you were for him. He groaned, pulling away from your neck to meet your gaze, his lips open just slightly as he brushed against your clit. Your hips twitched and you found yourself clinging to his arm as you whined.

"So sensitive, little one," he whispered, wrapping his free hand around your thigh to pull you even closer to him until you were completely in his lap with your back tucked to his chest.

"Tae..." you whispered, eyes fluttering closed when he began to press kisses to your shoulder ― the sweater not allowing you to feel it properly but enjoying it nonetheless.

"Yeah baby?" he cooed, resting his chin on your shoulder to watch his hand move beneath the fabric of your panties.

"C-Can..." you trailed off, feeling your cheeks burn and he tsked.

"Tell me what you want and I'll do it, baby," he assured, fingers now running across your folds without dipping between ― teasing you.

"Can you...take them off?" you asked, turning your head slightly to meet his gaze.

"If that's what you want," he pulled his hand out of your panties and you whimpered at the loss, making him chuckle, "So needy, huh?"

His thumbs hooked into the band and he pushed them down your thighs. You pulled your legs up to help him take them off ― tossing them off somewhere else to join your jeans. He gripped your knees, roughly tugging them open until your cunt was completely exposed to him ― glistening in the dim light and flushed swollen with your arousal.

"Fuck, babygirl..." he breathed, reaching down to run his fingertips through your parted folds, "Such a pretty little pussy, hm?"

Deep in your mind, you wondered where he learned such delicious dirty talk from ― seeing as he didn't even know the proper word for courting. The thought was completely wiped from your mind, however, when he used two fingers to spread your folds open. Your hole clenched around nothing and Taehyung let out a choked groan.

"St-Stop staring!" you whined, snapping your thighs closed around his hand.

Taehyung growled, wrapping his hand around your throat again and pulling the back of your head against his chest. You whimpered, eyes flicking up to briefly catch his glare. His jaw was set, glaring down at you with a gaze that made you feel incredible small.

"Spread your fucking legs," he ordered, tone making your eyes flutter slightly. When you hesitated to do as he said, he leaned closer until his mouth brushed your ear, "I said...spread your legs."

You whimpered, bottom lip trembling as you pouted, slowly opening your legs back up. Too slow for his liking, he jerked one open and pinned the other down until you were just as exposed as before. His hand cupped your entire core, middle finger sliding between the folds.

"That's more like it," he sighed, finally releasing your neck, "You better act right, baby, or else I'll have to punish you."

His words made you tremble, thighs twitching ever so slightly. He raised a brow at your reaction, an almost detached look coming across his face.

"Would you like that? To be punished?" when you only whimpered, he smirked, "I see...how would you like it, hm? To be choked until your lungs burn for air? Or maybe if I spanked your little cunt?"

"Tae..." you felt your hole clench, sending a gush of arousal to meet his fingers.

"Oh?" he chuckled, making you cheeks burn, "You'd like to be slapped, huh?"

Before you could even think up a reply from your foggy brain, a sharp pain right against your clit had you crying out. Your eyes found his face but he was watching as he smacked your cunt again. His fingers ran over your folds to soothe the sting and he laughed.

"Interesting..." he hummed, middle finger circling around your clit. Your eyes fluttered and your hips arched into the touch more.

His index and ring fingers spread your folds, his middle finger swirling over the hardened bud until you were moaning. He pulled the hood back, exposing it even more to his sensitive touches. Your eyes rolled back in your head and you choked out his name.

"Does that feel good?" he asked, pressing a kiss to your shoulder, "Does it feel nice to have your little clit touched?"

"Y-Yes!" you squeaked, reaching down to take hold of his wrist. Your body was practically vibrating as you trembled beneath the almost too much stimulation. Suddenly, his touch was gone and you were left still trembling with the remnants of his fingers lingering.

"It's alright," he cooed, wrapping one of his arms around you to hold you tighter against him, "I've got you, little one."

"Please, Tae," you begged, burying your face into his arm, thighs trembling still spread.

"What is it?" he asked, voice soft as silk.

"Your...Your fingers," you canted your hips up ever so slightly and he hummed.

"Want my fingers inside?" he asked, although he already knew before you nodded.

He hummed, two fingers finding your spasming entrance, coating them in your juices. You held your breath as he finally sunk them inside you, stretching you deliciously even though you were plenty wet enough. His fingers were big, filling you up nice and deep. Gasping against Taehyung's arm, you mindlessly ground your hips up as he slowly pulled them out. You didn't get to mourn their loss for long because he was quickly pushing them back in ― slick sounds accompanying the movement.

"You're so fucking tight," he muttered, "So small...Shit, how long has it been since you've been fucked, pretty girl?"

"Ah-Never..." you gasped, hand circling around his wrist as you squirmed.

His fingers paused, halfway inside and you whined, "You've never been with somebody?"

"N-No, Tae," you whined, using your hand on his wrist to push his fingers back inside, "J-Just you...only you!"

He cursed under his breath, wrapping his arm tighter around you before he began to finger fuck you wholeheartedly. The sounds pouring from your lips only spurred him on, your cunt tight like a vice around just two of his fingers.

"This little cunt won't ever be able to take my cock, sweetheart," he growled, crooking his fingers up to nail that little spot that made you sob, "I'm gonna be too big for you."

"W-Want it a-anyway, Tae," you cried, nails digging into his wrist. Tears welled up in your eyes, trickling down your cheeks as your body was sent into overload.

"Yeah? Want me to fuck you open until you can't take anymore?" he groaned, "Watch your virgin cunt get stuffed full of a cock you simply can't handle...have you make those pretty noises while you cream all over me..."

His words seemed more self-indulgent than aimed at you but you whined and nodded anyway. His palm ground against your clit as his fingers filled you up so nice and you found yourself teetering on the edge.

"I-I'm gonna cum," you panted, thighs twitching erratically in response to your pleasure."Go ahead, cum for me," he commanded, groaning alongside you as you tightened up around his fingers.

"Tae! 'S so good..." you slurred, eyes closed as you buried your face in his arm to ride out the pleasure he was giving you.

"Coming so prettily, little one," he whispered into your ear, fingers beginning to slow as your orgasm died down, "You're such a good girl."

"Ah...Tae," you whimpered as he pulled his fingers from your still-clenching pussy, sensitivity hitting you like a brick wall. Your thighs clenched shut, trembling uncontrollably in the aftermath of the most pleasure you'd ever received.

Taehyung slid his cum-soaked fingers into his mouth, eyes rolling back at the taste of you on his tongue. His arm still held you tight as you continued to whimper against him.

"Taste so so good," he whispered, mostly to himself.

Once his digits were clean, he glanced down at you. It was clear you were still a bit overwhelmed and he cooed, shifting you in his lap until you were facing him. He pulled you into a hug and couldn't hold back a chuckle.

"Humans are so fragile," he whispered, "So overwhelmed...even that was too much for you, huh?"

You didn't respond, simply tucking your face away in his neck. You let your weight drop fully on his lap but froze immediately. You hadn't realized while you were being touched, how hard Taehyung's cock was against you but with a clear mind you could.

He was fucking big.

He chuckled darkly, lips finding your neck as he slowly made you grind against his covered length, "I told you, babygirl, I'm too big for your little pussy."

When you whined and tightened your grip on him, wanting to avoid the painful overstimulation, he simply chuckled. He let you cling to him and lay with him until your eyes fluttered shut ― sleep quickly and eagerly overcoming you.

Just as you sunk into darkness, you felt him press the softest of kisses against your forehead.

"My cute little human," he whispered, voice fading out as you finally fell asleep.

When you woke up, you were tucked cozily in your bed beneath your wool comforter. The sun was up and you groaned, kicking the blankets off as you grew warmer with every passing second.

You had on your sweater from yesterday and a pair of panties you hadn't been wearing. Looking beside you, you found the bed empty and sighed.

Despite yourself, you found yourself feeling disappointed he hadn't stayed the night. He had shown you such a sweet, caring side before you fell asleep. It had made your heart flutter, how he treated you so delicately yet used such a sharp tongue to fluster you.

"He's such a strange dude," you muttered, staring at the ceiling as you spread starfish on your bed.

There was a dull ache between your legs, reminding you of the night before. Feeling your cheeks flush, you sat up straight and hurriedly crawled out of bed intending to take a cold shower.

Drying your hair with a towel, you hunted around your closet for a cute outfit for the date. Briefly, you wondered if he was still planning to take you out. Excitement thrummed through your veins, a giddy smile lighting up your face and making your cheeks ache.

After choosing your outfit, you took a seat in front of the vanity you had set up. You had found a mirror at the monthly market a few ones back and decided it was the best purchase ever. You hadn't known mirrors were scarce on Izo Huen for whatever reason until you desperately needed one.

Deciding to leave your hair down, too lazy to try and make anything of it, you mindlessly spun around in your chair.

A strange feeling bubbled up in your chest that made your heart race. Leaning your head back against the back of the chair, you ran your hands over your face with a groan.

"I actually miss him," you scoffed, leaning forward to rest your head on your vanity counter, "What is wrong with me?"

The day seemed to drag on longer than any other as you waited for Taehyung to arrive. The heat hadn't even bothered you, your mind too muddled with thoughts of your date. You wondered if he would hold your hand and where he planned to take you.

As the sun finally sunk beneath the horizon, you were more antsy and began to pace your living room. Every once in a while, you'd glance out your window in hopes a passing man would be Taehyung. Unfortunately, you were mistaken every time.

Before long, you began to realize that he simply wasn't going to show up. You changed into your pajamas, rejection burning in your veins before sitting on your bed. The streetlights and the moon cast a decent glow around you.

Your feelings were hurt. You’d been stood up by an alien.

Your heart ached and you felt your eyes sting with unshed tears. You flopped over, covering your face with a pillow before screaming into it.

"What a jerk!" you shouted in the material.

By the time you went to sleep, your simmering anger gave way to pitiful dejection. Your eyes were wet with tears as you closed them.

He was polluting your mind, everywhere you went you found yourself hoping that he'd turn up around the next corner. You’d hoped he would come knocking on your door with a sheepish smile, apologizing.

Though as the days passed and you had seen neither hide nor hair of him, the prospect of an apology made you angry. You didn't want his stupid apology anymore.

A week lapsed and it was time, once again, for your weekly log.

Sitting in front of the camera, you sighed, "The...friend I had made seems to have disappeared. It's weird, I was perfectly content by myself but once he showed up and vanished ― it's made me lonely," you gnawed on your bottom lip before sighing, disappointment becoming a common feeling in your life by then, “Maybe I need to make some friends but...I can't explain it; the Sehebon are such a strange race that it feels like it's going to be really difficult to make friends. There's really nothing eventful that happened worth logging besides my own problems so...I'll sign off."

A couple clicks on your computer had the log sent. You'd be getting paid again soon, perhaps you'd be able to go out and find something to do for yourself. Maybe you'd hit the jackpot and find someone who would want to be your friend.

It felt childish, the need for friendship you had. But with Taehyung's absence, your loneliness was at an all time high.

It was beginning to get dark and you decided to say 'fuck it' and get dressed. You'd find something to do ― you hadn't really checked out nearly all the districts of Fia and you knew there were some popular places to hang out.

It was a long walk to the area they dubbed the Social District. The second you stepped onto the rowdy street, you were blown away by the flashing lights and heavy bass emanating from the various buildings.

They had their own clubs.

You suddenly felt out of place and awkward, weaving through the giant people blocking the streets as they talked with friends. It seemed like no one saw you, as if you were just invisible to them. You moved to the sidewalk, being able to squeeze by the people and avoid the large crowd that filled the street.

You slipped into a pub ― judging by the tables and bar. You couldn't read the sign but you still walked in anyway. It wasn't very crowded, a few tables still open. The vibe inside was much cooler and calmer and you felt yourself begin to relax.

Walking up the bar, you took a seat, grabbing a menu without thinking about it.

"God dammit," you muttered, staring at the alphabet you still couldn't read.

"Can I help you?" the tender asked, moving to stand in front of you.

"Uh...I can't read this," you admitted, feeling your cheeks burn.

"That's alright, what do you like?" she pulled the menu from your hands and looked over it herself.

"Do you have any good alcohol?" you slumped against the counter, chin resting in your hand.

She regarded you with furrowed brows, closing the menu, "You do know alcohol is poisonous, right?"

"Wait what?" your head snapped up and the woman laughed.

"Alcohol is poisonous to us. We don't drink it," she placed the menu back where you got it and smiled, "We have some Soda."

"You do?" you perked up at that, not tasting soda since you'd left Earth. You watched eagerly as she filled a glass with brown liquid, placing it in front of you.

"It's not...Earth's soda but it's basically the same," she smiled, "It's got seltzer and sugary syrup in it."

You thanked her before she was whisked away to take care of another customer, leaving you by yourself. You sipped out of the straw, sighing at the taste. It was slightly off compared to the soda you were used to but bubbling seltzer had you smiling.

"_____?" you jumped at the sound of your name, choking on your drink and erupting into a fit of coughing. A hand carefully patted your back until you calmed down, "Are you alright? I didn't mean to scare you."

"I-It's fine," you choked out, clearing your throat and swallowing a few times to rid the feeling. Your eyes flicked up to meet Taehyung's and you felt a frown fall over your face before you realized it, "Taehyung."

His brows furrowed at your using his full name but he didn't say anything, "I uh...didn't know you came around here."

"It's my first time," you muttered, turning back to sip on your drink. When you didn't offer another opening for a conversation he let out a sigh and slid up next to you between the vacant seat beside you. You didn't have any choice but to interact, seeing at he wasn't going to back off.

"I'm sorry I missed our...date," the word still sounded foreign on his tongue, "I had urgent business to attend to in Holis."

"You don't owe me anything Taehyung," you muttered, failing to mask the hurt in your voice.

He sighed again, "I had to go visit a friend of mine, he was stranded and couldn't get home on his own. I promise that's all it was, _____."

You sighed, feeling your hurt and anger soften. Turning to look at him, you opened your mouth to reply but were interrupted.

“Whoa, is this the little human?” a loud voice from behind you made you jump. Twisting around, you saw a large man with biceps so big his t-shirt was stretched taut, “Oh you are a cutie!”

“U-Um...hello,” you greeted timidly.

"Uh yeah," Taehyung smiled, placing his hand on your shoulder, "This is _____. And _____ this is Wonho."

"N-Nice to meet you," you held out your hand, gasping when he leaned down and pressed a kiss against your knuckles.

"It's my pleasure," you could hear Taehyung let out a long sigh, "Bartender, I'll take a Blue Ice please. I gotta take a leak," he muttered the last part to himself, fingers lingering on your shoulder before he disappeared.

"You drinking a soda?" Wonho asked, peering into your glass, "Mind if I have a sip?"

"I guess not," you shrugged, watching him wrap his hand around the glass and bring it to his lips.

He was good looking, you couldn't deny. He had cute ears that stuck out just slightly and pretty teeth as he grinned at you. You found yourself comparing him to Taehyung ― deducing Taehyung definitely set your heart racing the second you looked at him.

"You know," Wonho placed your glass back down in front of you, "I was surprised to hear Taehyung was fooling around with a little human. I never thought he'd be the type."

"What do you mean?" you asked, brows furrowing as you mindlessly stirred your drink with your straw.

"Well I just can't believe he's actually giving in to it," Wonho said, pulling out a menu to look over it.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," you muttered, quite blunt.

He seemed surprised, chuckling and waving his hand, "Just the whole human kink that's going on. You know, since humans have started coming here it's become like a game to see who can actually manage to bang one. Can't believe Taehyung managed to snag one."

Your eyes drifted to your glass, the ice melting in your soda ― watering it down. A human kink?

"So...I'm just a conquest?" you whispered, though you were sure Wonho didn't hear as he was ordering a drink.

So many things bubbled up inside you; anger, humiliation, shame. Humiliation at the fact you'd been used, shame over the fact you fell for it and were so close to giving in, and anger of the audacity he had to do such a thing to you. Tears stung your eyes and you bit your lip to hold them back.

"Oh man, that looks delicious," Taehyung groaned, grabbing his tall glass of blue drink and taking a sip.

"I'm leaving," you muttered, sliding off your stool and moving to walk away.

You were stopped by a hand grabbing your elbow. Taehyung stared at you, brows drawn together.

"You just got here," he muttered, obviously confused by your sudden change.

You scoffed, "I'm going home, Taehyung."

You snatched your arm out of his grip and stormed out the doors and onto the busy streets. You could vaguely hear your name being shouted but it was quickly covered by the noisiness of the people. Crossing your arms over your chest, you weaved through the bodies. Tears were burning your eyes but you held them back.

"Hey a human!" you heard someone shout but you didn't stop, "Why don't you come party?"

'The whole human kink.' Wonho's words echoed in your mind, making it harder to fight your tears. 'It's become a game to see who can bang one."

By the time you reached your front door, your jaw was aching with keeping your tears in. Slamming the door behind you, you immediately burst into tears ― bringing your hands up to cover your eyes with your sleeves. Sniffling, you dropped onto your couch and let your sobs out freely.

Hugging one of your throw pillows, you attempted to calm yourself down. Just as you were about to drift off to sleep, eyes fluttering against your will, there was a series of sharp knocks against your door. You didn't move, silently waiting to see if they'd go away.

Unfortunately, the knocks became harsher and more frantic. Deciding that they weren't going to go away, you stood up and dragged your feet to the door.

You already had a feeling who it was and you weren't wrong ― Taehyung standing on the other side. His fist was raised like he was going to knock again and his hair was a complete wreck. His shirt clung to him with sweat and his breathing was a little heavy.

"What do you want Taehyung?" you muttered, crossing your arms around yourself.

"You've been crying," he whispered, moving to step forward but stopped when you moved back, "I knew you were upset. What's the matter, sweetheart?"

"Don't!" you snapped, turning on your heel and storming into your house.

"What?" Taehyung whispered, closing the door gently behind him.

"Don't call me that," you said, keeping your back to him so he wouldn't see your tears.

It felt so nice to have him call you pet names so gently. But you remembered it was just a ruse to lure you in ― and it was so hard not to fall.

"Why not? I thought you liked being called that?" he sounded so confused and you could imagine he looked akin to a kicked puppy.

"Because it's not fair!" you shouted, finally turning around, "You can't just play those games with me because I'm a human, Taehyung!"

"I really...What are you talking about?" his voice was so soft, so gentle. He took a couple steps towards you, hands outstretched, "I'm not playing any games."

"Oh yeah?" you scoffed, wiping away a few stray tears from your cheeks, "Wonho told me about your disgusting kink! You don't care about me, you just wanted to be able to say you fucked a human!"

"Wh―" he stumbled over his words, irises desperately scanning over you, "That's not...true."

You scoffed, shaking your head., "You're so unfair, Taehyung." he cocked his head to the side curiously, "You made me like you and I trusted you. But you just...you really aren't any different from men on Earth, huh?"

"What do you mean? Of course I'm different!" he argued, his own eyes growing glassy, "I never lied to you, _____. I promise!"

"You just wanted to use me as a conquest, something to brag about," you breathing stuttered as you sobbed, "And I almost fell for it!"

"Would you listen to me?!" he snapped, suddenly moving and pinning you against the wall.

He was caging you in, scent overwhelming you and making more tears fall from your eyes. You refused to meet his gaze, even though you could feel his eyes burning into you. You sniffled, staring down at your cardigan sleeves that were functioning as sweater paws.

"I never once intended to use you like that," Taehyung growled, voice giving away his frustration, "Everything I have said and done for you is real and not because you're a human. I don't want you as a...a...conquest," the word sounded foreign on his tongue, "And I certainly am not like your pathetic human men on Earth. I am better in every single way."

"Taehyung..."

"Stop calling me that!" he snapped, making you jump, "I-I want you to call me Tae!"

"I don't think..." you shook your head.

"Why won't you believe me?" he sighed, voice going soft, "Is it really so easy to lose trust in me when I haven't even done anything? You heard my friend say some stupid nonsense a-and you're suddenly convinced I'm evil!"

When he put it like that, you felt silly. Your own insecurities caught up with you and you shifted awkwardly in your place against the wall. You sheepishly looked up to find him staring at you, eyes dark beneath his long bangs. They were damp from sweat and you swallowed thickly at how good he looked.

"I'm sorry Tae..." you mumbled, nibbling on your lip beneath his glare, "I just...I really like you and I don't want you to―

"Listen to me," he tilted your head up, making you look at him directly. His eyes were much softer now and your eyes felt hot once more, "I have no intention of hurting you. You can trust me, _____. I promise."

It felt like all self-control slipped through your fingers as you suddenly surged forward to press your lips against his. Standing on you tippy-toes, you wrapped your arms around his neck. He eagerly kissed you back, arms wrapping around you ― teeth nipping at your bottom lip to make you whine.

One of his hands traveled lower, cupping your ass and pulling you closer to him. You could feel his length hardened in his jeans ― and it was just as big as you remembered. It made you whimper, feeling him so hard against you. You squeaked when the floor was suddenly pulled out from beneath you and you found yourself pressed against the wall with your legs wrapped around his waist, his weight supporting you.

You whined when his lips found your neck, trailing his lips over the sensitive skin beneath your ear. He smirked at the feeling of you shuddering against him.

"Are you wet for me, baby?" he asked against your skin. You whimpered and nodded, feeling your pussy clench and gush into your panties, "Do you want me to touch you? Tell me."

"Yes please, Tae," you begged, blushing when he chuckled at your desperation.

The wall was pulled out from behind you and you scrambled to hold onto him around his shoulders, "I got you," he reassured, turning to walk through the open doorway of your bedroom.

You were deposited onto your mattress, making you bounce slightly on it. Taehyung was covering your body once more, however, as he met your lips for another kiss. Resting his weight on one forearm beside your head, he used the other to push your shirt up.

Getting the hint, you pulled your cardigan off and tossed it off the side of the bed before tugging your shirt off as well. Taehyung groaned, his lips kissing the swell of your breast above your bra. His fingers trailed over your bra ― cupping you and sighing softly.

You were surprised by your own boldness as you reached behind you and unclipped your bra. Before you could tug it off, however, Taehyung pinned your arms above your head and growled.

"Why are you so eager?" he asked, making your blush further.

"I-I just want you to touch me..." you confessed, lashes fluttering when he leaned down to brush his lips against your lips once more.

"There's no rush, little one," he cooed, "I'm not going anywhere until I've made you cum for me."

You clenched your thighs with a whimper at the pressure in your core. He pulled off your bra, finally, tossing it away and sitting back to admire your body. You were laid out beneath him, breasts heaving in your arousal.

His head dipped down and you held your breath as he enveloped a perked nipple into his mouth. Your hands flew up to clutch at his hair, back arching. His teeth grazed the bud, and groaned at the way you whined.

"Fuck, you're so responsive to everything I do," he gasped, pulling his lips away from your nipple. His fingers found it and brushed his thumb nail over and you choked out a sob, "I love it so much..."

"T-Tae please!" you whined, arching your hips up.

"Alright, baby," he cooed, flicking the button of your jeans open and tugging them down. Your panties went with them but neither of you cared, "Look at that. So wet."

"Please touch me, Tae," you begged, spreading your legs wider around him.

"You ever been eaten out, sweetheart?" he asked, watching the way your breath stuttered at his question. When you didn't answer, he gave your cunt a swift smack. You cried out, clutching at the blankets desperately, "I asked you a question."

"N-No I've never― " you were cut off by his fingers sliding over your clit softly.

"Do you want to?" he asked, cocking his head to the side.

"Yes, yes please, Tae!" you gasped, eyes wide when he shifted down the bed until his head was positioned over your core.

"So pretty, baby," he sighed, spreading your folds open to expose the pretty wet hole that clenched desperately around nothing.

Your mouth fell open, a stuttered breath escaping you when his tongue slid over your entrance up to your clit. He hummed, licking his lips to chase the taste. He looked like he was in heaven, swirling his tongue over your bud and chuckling when your whole body trembled.

"Love how you react to me," he whispered, mostly to himself. He tongued at your hole to taste your juices once more before dragging up to your clit once again, "I don't think I'll ever get enough of you."

"Tae!" you cried, tugging his hair harshly though he didn't seem to mind.

His lips wrapped around your clit, sucking the bud into his mouth. You keened, eyes rolling back into your head at the stimulation. You nearly screamed when you were suddenly filled with two long fingers.

"Fuck!" you cried, back arching. You abandoned your hold on his hand to wrap your hands beneath your knees ― keeping yourself open for him.

"Good girl," he praised, making you smile down at him.

He pressed a kiss against your thigh before diving down to take your clit into his mouth again. His fingers stretched you open, catching your g-spot every chance he got. He reached so deep inside you with just his fingers and you suddenly remembered how big his dick was. Just the thought of it had your walls clenching around his fingers. He groaned in response, the vibrations against your clit making your thighs twitch.

"A-Another finger, Tae, please," you begged, voice not above a whisper.

"Can you handle that, sweetheart? Your little cunt’s already stretched around two," he teased, his index finger beginning to nudge against your entrance.

"N-Need it," you gasped, "Need to take it for you cock."

His fingers froze and you felt him exhale sharply against your core ― as if the air had been punched out of him. Glancing down, you saw his jaw was clenched and his brows were furrowed.

"Don't say things like that, little girl," he growled, finally pushing the third finger into you, "Don't make promises you can't keep."

"Tae I― " your words died on your tongue when he enveloped your clit once again.

You felt stuffed with his fingers, the digits making your entrance stretch deliciously. You lost your grip on your knees and let them fall open once again. Taehyung's tongue danced over the sensitive nerves, eyes closed as he relished in having your cunt wrapped around his fingers. You were gushing, coating the digits in your juices and he couldn't wait to have them in his mouth.

"W-Wanna cum, Tae," you gasped, reaching above you to grip desperately at the pillow.

He reached up, pulling on one of your hands until you released the material. You felt your walls clench tight when he urged you to put your hands on his head.

He wanted you to pull at his hair.

Not one to reject such an offer, you tangled both your hands in the soft locks as he began to fuck you with his fingers eagerly. The wet noises were obscene, mixed with your moans made an incredible melody for Taehyung.

The fact he was the only one who had ever had you like that made his cock throb. His hips moved mindlessly against the bed beneath him to get some stimulation. His cock hurt in the confines of his jeans but he didn't dare try to pull it out.

Suddenly, your walls clenched tight and the grip on his hair began to sting the harder you pulled. Sobbing out his name, your entire body began to quake beneath him. The pleasure was overwhelming and you snapped your thighs closed around his head. He didn't pull away, however, keeping his lips attached to the throbbing bud through your orgasm ― milking every spectacular second until you were whimpering from overstimulation.

He gasped as he pulled away, sitting back on his heels before pulling his fingers out of you. He spread your folds, groaning at the way you gaped slightly from being stretched open. Sliding his soaked fingers into his mouth, his whole body trembled and he reached down to palm himself through his jeans.

The feeling of a smaller hand covering his had his eyes snapping open. He pulled his fingers out and stared down at you as you shyly palmed him through the material. He groaned, head falling back.

"C-Can I..." you trailed off, not quite sure what you were asking.

"I...I don't know..." he bit his lip, apprehensive.

"Please Tae?" you pouted, looking up at him through your lashes.

"Shit, alright," he whispered, switching your positions. He scooted up until his back rested against your headboard, shoving your pillows aside to make room for himself, "Come here. Sit on my lap, pretty girl."

Your hands were trembling as you did what you were asked, swinging your leg over his lap until you were straddling him. As you pressed your full weight on him, he tossed his head back in a groan. The pressure of you sitting on him felt spectacular.

Gripping his shoulders, you suddenly felt shy with his eyes on you. He gazed at your body on top of him like you were a goddess, hands drifting up your sides and cupping your breasts. Thumbing your nipples, he smiled crookedly when you shivered at the feeling. He cupped your cheeks, finally, and pulled you down for a soft kiss.

"Go ahead and grind on me, baby," he cooed, gripping your hips to urge you to move.

The first grind against him had him releasing the most beautiful moan that you felt yourself gush in response. His head leaned back against the headboard, watching through lidded eyes the way your cunt ground against his cock through his jeans. He wishes he could take it out and feel your wetness drip all over him ― to feel you cream against him as you came. He swallowed the urge down and continued to guide you.

"D-Does it feel good?" you asked, biting your lip as you watched his jaw tense as he held back his moans.

"So good, babygirl," he groaned, feeling his heart stutter when you proudly grinned down at him, "You're so fucking cute."

"D-Don't call me cute when I'm doing this," you hissed, narrowing your eyes at him.

"Doing what?" his head rolled against his shoulder and he smirked at you, "Go on and say it."

"No..." You whispered, clutching his shirt. Leaning forward, you wrapped your arms around his neck and held him close.

"Why so shy, little one?" he chuckled, kissing your temple and trailing his hand up your back before cupping the back of your head, "Grinding your wet little cunt against me like this...wanting to make me cum. And you want to act shy?"

You whimpered, gasping into his ear so prettily that he shuddered. He felt his orgasm coming and he groaned through clenched teeth.

"Close..." he whispered, fingers digging into the soft skin of your waist while he other clenched in your hand, "You're gonna make me cum, baby."

"Please cum, Tae," you begged, gasping when he wrenched your face out from where you were hiding in his neck.

"You want my cum?" he panted, mouth falling open as you fastened your pace. You nodded as best you could with his hand in your hair, "How about you cum first for me?"

Your eyes fluttered, realizing with his words how close you were to another orgasm. You leaned forward, pressing your lips against him. He hummed in response, smiling in the kiss when you started trembling in his lap.

You pulled away from the kiss and tossed you head back as you cried out his name, gushing against his jeans. Taehyung cursed, his own hips stuttering beneath you.

By the time you came down, you realized how wet his jeans were beneath you. You whined, falling off the side of his lap. He still sat up, chest heaving as he caught his breath. With his eyes closed, he didn't see you cupping his softening length through the wet material. He hissed, brushing your hand off of him.

"I-Is that all your..."

"I should get home," he interrupted. You frowned, watching him stand up and shift uncomfortably.

"Can't you stay?" you asked, finding yourself not wanting him to leave.

"Sorry, baby," he leaned down and pressed a kiss against your forehead, "Maybe another time." With a final, departing kiss, he turned and stepped out of the door. He paused, however, and looked back at you, "Be ready tomorrow, 8PM. I'll take you for dinner."

You were left alone on the bed with a little smile on your lips ― the promise of seeing him tomorrow making you giddy.

You felt apprehensive when 8PM rolled around and there was no sign of him ― the time blinking on the screen of your computer. You sat on your desk chair, watching the moments tick by.

It was nearing 8:30 when there were a series of knocks on your door. You jumped to your feet and raced to the door, pulling it open to see Taehyung with a guilty smile and a handful of flowers.

"Sorry I'm late I uh..." he cleared his throat and held the flowers over to you, "I had to go a bit out of my way to get these."

"Oh Tae..." you smiled, taking them from his hands and bringing them up to your nose to smell, "They're beautiful."

"They're imported from Liana," he smiled, shrugging sheepishly.

"How'd you think of this?" You asked, motioning for him to enter your home as you went to your kitchen to put the flowers in water.

"Well..." he cleared his throat, "I just...I've been reading about human dates and just human things like that, you know?"

"You've been studying for our date?" you giggled, putting the flowers on your counter before turning to him. He looked shy, keeping his eyes averted from you, "I really appreciate it, Tae."

"Really?" his eyes lit up and he grinned his adorable smile.

"I think it was very thoughtful," you led him back to the door and out into the cool night.

"There's this place I really like around my place," he suddenly explained, taking your hand in his as he helped you down from the stoop, "I like to go there with some friends. I think you'll like it!"

"I'm sure I'll like anything, Tae," you admitted, smiling when he squeezed your hand in response.

The two of you made simple talk as you made your way to the restaurant. You hadn't had the opportunity to go to one in the time you'd lived on Izo Huen.

It was a simple, small building with an Open sign in English. You grinned, bouncing inside tugging Taehyung by his hand excitedly.

"Pick a seat, little one," Taehyung cooed, nudging your back.

It was set up exactly like a restaurant on Earth and you slid yourself into a booth, grinning. Taehyung took the spot across from you, lounging back as he looked at the menu. You followed his lead and opened the menu yourself. Eyes wide, you realized you were able to read everything.

"Hey...It's in English!" you muttered, eyes scanning over the words. They were translated underneath into what Taehyung could understand ― the characters and symbols lost on you.

"Yeah it's the only place around here that does it," he shrugged, "I figured you might enjoy that."

"You're..." you grinned, shaking you head, "You're so thoughtful, Tae. I really appreciate it."

He shrugged, though you could see that his ears were tinged red.

You both ordered drinks and food, the atmosphere dissolving into one of calm company. You both chatted idly about anything ― Taehyung asking a lot of questions about Earth and him trying to teach you the different characters for his alphabet. He gave up when you just couldn't get a hang of it ― teasingly calling you illiterate and cooing when you pouted.

"Hey Tae," you muttered, picking at the salad you had ordered. He hummed, mouth full of some type of steak ― though the meat was of a consistency that made your stomach turn, "How did you learn to speak so...casually?"

"What do you mean?" he asked, sipping his soda.

"You know..." you blushed, realizing the question wasn't really something to ask over the dinner table, "When you talk you use a lot of slang terms. Like...in bed," You whispered the last word and picked at your salad again.

"Oh," Taehyung chuckled, "See, I have a friend who has been to Earth a few times. He has a lot of...interesting material that he let me read. And he kind of taught me some popular slang on Earth."

"You didn't have to go to so much effort, Taehyung," you whispered, although you were grinning. Your heart fluttered in your chest nonetheless.

"I wanted to," he suddenly set a hard gaze on you, "I want you to like me and I want you to feel comfortable around me. I want to be good for you."

"Tae..." you reached across the table and cupped his hand in yours, "I already like you very much. You make me feel comfortable and you make me feel very happy."

He grinned, looking away from you shyly but squeezed your hand tightly.

The walk home was peaceful, you found yourself wrapping your arms around one of Taehyung's ― wanting to be close to him. He didn't seem to mind in the slightest, squeezing your hand tightly and staring down at you with sparkling eyes. It felt like he looked at you like you hung up the moon ― it made you feel fluttery inside.

"Do you want to come inside, Tae?" you asked, opening your front door.

He hesitated for just a moment before stepping inside. He kicked his boots off along with you, watching as you tucked both of them away in the corner. You went to your bedroom to change into something comfortable ― settling on some pajama pants and an oversized sweater. When you walked back out, Taehyung was sitting at your desk looking at your computer.

"What's this?" he gestured to your setup with your camera.

"It's where I record the logs needed to send back to Earth," you explained, "I update my superiors every week on things that are happening. When I learn something new about the culture or something interesting happens."

"Interesting," he muttered, sitting there for a moment before standing up and navigated over to your couch.

You dropped into the seat beside him and molded yourself against his side. He wrapped his arm around you and pressed a kiss against the top of your head. The silence was comfortable and you rested your head on his chest ― listening to his heartbeat.

"Hey Tae?" he hummed, looking down at you when you looked up at him, "Can I have a kiss?"

His gaze softened and he quickly leaned down to press his lips against yours. He went to pull away but you followed him, pulling him into a deep kiss making him moan. Swinging your leg over his lap, you straddled him boldly. He seemed surprised by it but didn't say anything, just moving his lips against yours.

"Tae," you whispered against his lips, "I want to touch you, please?"

"_____― " he pulled away from the kiss, pushing you back slightly by your shoulders.

"You keep saying I can't handle it, but I can!" you argued, pouting at being pushed back.

"I don't want to hurt you, _____," his brows came together in a deep furrow, "It wasn't just talk when I said you couldn't handle it. It's too much, you're too...small."

"It turns you on though doesn't it?" you teased, noticing how he was growing hard beneath you, "Can't we at least try, Tae?"

"I-I..." his head fell back when you ground against him, "Fuck, we can try."

You held in a squeal of joy when he scooped you up in his arms and carried you to the bedroom. He dropped you on the bed and stripped his shirt off.

It was the first time seeing him naked and you sat up to admire his body. He was fit, as you expected. His stomach was flat with a small trail of hair leading beneath his jeans. On his shoulders were patches embedded in his skin that reflected off the dim light of your bedroom.

"What..." you sat up on your knees, brushing your fingers over them. It felt like normal skin, and you hummed in wonder.

"They're...light-sensitive patches that we just...never evolved out of," he explained, "They were useful for survival when we dominated the deserts. Now they're just...here."

"Interesting," you muttered, trailing your hand down his chest and stomach to the button on his jeans.

Before you could flick it open, however, he grabbed your wrist and pinned you back to the bed. His gaze was dark, making you shiver underneath it. He smelled wonderful and you reached up with your free hand to brush his bangs out of his eyes.

"You've got another thing coming if you think you'll get anywhere near my cock before I think you're good and ready, little one," he growled, making your thighs clench at the sound.

You whined when he rushed to discard your clothes, not wasting a single second in getting you bare for him. He palmed himself through his jeans as he looked down at you, licking his lips.

"So pretty," he whispered, smoothing his hand down your body. Smirking, he pinched one of your nipples to hear the way you whined, "Spread your legs for me."

You hurriedly did as you were told, shame and inhibitions thrown out the window. You felt nervous under his gaze but with every compliment and soft touch ― you began to feel better. Mouth falling open, you gasped when his fingertips brushed against your folds.

"You're so wet," he mumbled, more to himself, "Are you always so wet, baby?"

"Y-You're the only one ― "

"I know that but when you touch yourself, pretty baby," he glanced up when you tensed, "I know you do. Tell me do you get this wet?"

"O-Only when I think of you," you admitted before you could think twice about it. You felt your cheeks burn at your own admission but Taehyung cursed and grunted as he squeezed his cock.

"You're such a good girl," he praised, fingertips trailing up your body again. Goosebumps ignited across your skin and you arched your back to get more of the feeling of his touch.

His fingers eagerly dipped back between your thighs to find your entrance. You whimpered when he immediately slipped a single digit inside. It felt nice but unfulfilling.

He pulled his finger out and circled it over your clit ― using your own juices to lubricate the movement. You hummed, eyes fluttering as he circled the bud several times. When your thighs began to tense, he pushed his finger back inside.

He continued the teasing until you were whining beneath him. Suddenly he pressed his thumb against the bud, circling and pressing against it relentlessly.

"I'm gonna cum!" you warned, your eyes squeezing shut.

"Go ahead, pretty baby," he urged, not pausing in his torture of your clit.

You came quickly, arching and trembling on the bed. Your cunt was empty, gushing and clenching around nothing. His touches on your clit slowed until they stopped all together.

You figured he'd give you a moment to recover but, he was suddenly sliding two fingers inside you. You were so wet from your orgasm, your cum slicking down his fingers and onto the bed. You sobbed, grinding your hips into his touch. He didn't try touching your clit or your spot, showing that much mercy. Instead, he leaned down to envelop a perked nipple in his mouth while he scissored his fingers, stretching you a bit more.

You hummed, cupping the back of his head to keep him in place. He didn't seem to mind, beginning to fuck his two fingers into you faster.

"A-Another, please," you requested, whimpered when he immediately did so.

There was a slight, tiny burn that immediately gave way to pleasure. His palm pressed against your clit ― still so sensitive that it made you tremble. As he fucked you with his fingers, he switched to give your other breast attention.

Your hips jerked with his every movement, following the pace he'd set. Every time he brushed your g-spot and you whined, he would laugh.

He took so much enjoyment in your pleasure it was almost baffling. You were always sure that men would be selfish and unsatisfying in bed but Taehyung was nothing but attentive.

Perhaps he was right; he was better than any human man.

"Cum again for me," he purred, swiping his tongue along your chest before meeting your neck.

The feeling of his fingers and teeth on your neck had you inching closer to the edge of the abyss.

"T-Tae, please," you whined, grinding your hips down, "T-Touch me, please."

He hummed, moving his thumb to press against your clit. The simple touch set you off and you were coming once again beneath him. Your body was on fire, sweat sticking to you and making you pant. It crested beautifully and faded out into trembles and whines.

He didn't remove his fingers, instead beginning to nudge a fourth into you ― his pinky finger. His eyes met yours, keeping his eyes on your face as he stretched you further than he had before. The width of his hand was bordering on painful but you found it highly enjoyable. His thumb continued to circle your clit even as you sobbed in overstimulation. Your spasming walls eagerly accepted the new stretch and you found yourself relaxing into it.

He was quickly going to send you to another orgasm but before you could fall off the edge again, he removed his thumb. You whined, grinding your hips to chase the feeling. His eyes drifted down to where his fingers were buried into you, smoothing two of his fingers from his free hand over your folds.

"Stretched so wide," he muttered, scooping up some of your cum on the digits and popping them in his mouth. Your walls squeezed his fingers in response to his display.

He suddenly pulled his fingers out and you cried out at being empty so fast. Your walls weren't able to close properly and you closed your thighs at the feeling.

Instead of stopping you, Taehyung stepped off the bed. Your mouth went dry when he unbuttoned his jeans and began to shuffle them down his thighs.

You realized he wasn't wearing underwear when his cock popped free ― flushed incredibly red at the head and leaking precum down the shaft. He visibly shuddered when his cock was free from its confines and he quickly wrapped his hand around himself ― giving himself a few good squeezes.

He was just as big as you thought. His fingers didn't meet when wrapped around the girth. He was wider than his four fingers and so long that you found yourself whimpering at the thought of him drilling into you that deep.

"You still think you can take me, little one?" he asked, crawling on the bed to kneel in front of you still clenched thighs.

"Y-Yeah...want it," you let your legs fall open, showing him your flushed and swollen cunt.

Her cursed, tapping the fat head of his cock against your cunt. You whimpered when you saw just how big it was compared to your own pussy. He was surely going to rip you in half but damn if you wouldn't enjoy every second.

His precum mixed with your cum as he slid his shaft between your folds, getting the underside of him nice and wet. You whimpered, feeling him grinding against your clit bringing you close to the orgasm you'd been denied.

Before you could fall into it, he positioned his tip at your entrance. Prodding ever so slightly, he sighed at the feeling of your heat against him. You spread your legs wider for him as he began to press inside.

You cried out, clutching the sheets beneath you as he stretched you wide open. The head of him was so thick, bordering on painful. You reached out to stop him from going any further, gritting your teeth at the feeling.

"You're okay," he whispered, shifting back so he pulled out of you.

You breathed heavily, relaxing once more as he circled your clit with his thumb. As your eyes fluttered, he began to press back inside. You whined as he pushed past what he had been, thumb not letting up on your clit. You walls spasmed around him, making him groan as you began to tremble.

The head of him popped inside and you cried out as you were sent over the edge. Taehyung's body fell over yours, catching himself on his hands beside your head. You sobbed, tears filling your eyes at the pleasure of being stretched as you were.

Taehyung's mouth fell open as he felt you cum around the head of his cock. When you calmed down to just little sniffles and whimpers, he leaned down to press his lips against your neck.

"You okay, baby?" he whispered. You nodded, reaching up to cup his cheeks and pull him into a soft kiss.

He took that as his cue to sink further into you. The flare on the head of his cock was the thickest part of him and it felt much easier for the rest of him to slide in. He nudged your cervix and when you flinched at the pain, he pulled back slightly.

"Look at that," he chuckled looking between your bodies. Following his gaze, your eyes widened, "You can't even fit all of me inside you, little one."

He was right, you'd only managed to fit half his cock inside you. Your walls clenched around him at that.

"Feels so good, Tae," you whispered, feeling his cock twitch against your walls.

He grinned, moving his hips gently, sinking in as far as he comfortably could before pulling back out. Although he wasn't able to fit in you completely, he still found himself groaning against you

"Such a tight little cunt," he growled, nipping at your jaw, "Took me so well, like a good girl."

You began to grind your hips up as he sunk into you and he growled. Sitting back on his heels, he soothed his hand over your body to soothe you.

You cursed loudly when he snapped his hips much harder into you ― testing how much you could take. When you gushed and spasmed around him, he took that as a sign to keep going. You moaned so beautifully for him, body reacting like a dream to his every touch and movement.

Cunt stretched wide and stuffed full of cock, you couldn't even think of anything else. You felt drunk, dizzy and lightheaded. Taehyung cooed when you slurred out his name, swiping his thumb over your bottom lip to collect some drool there.

"You're so cute," he grinned, breaking out into a moan when you clenched him tight, "All you can think about is my cock, huh?"

"'S so good..." you whispered, the words coming out almost breathlessly.

"I know, baby," he replied, licking his lips as he moved to his cock pounding you open wider than you should have been able to take, "You're gushing and squeezing me so nice. Are you gonna cum? Can you cum for me?"

You swallowed and nodded, whining when he hit your cervix. It hurt but it blended in with the pleasure. Mindlessly, you reached down to find your clit ― intent on sending yourself over the edge.

"No, no baby," he cooed, brushing your fingers away, "You'll cum without touching your pretty clit, yeah?"

"C-Can't," you sobbed, tears leaking out of the corner of your eyes.

"I think you can," he muttered, smoothing his hand over your lower stomach. "Fuck, look at that, babygirl."

You lazily followed his gaze to where his hand laid. Your cunt clenched at the sight of your stomach bulging every time he sunk in ― his cock literally molding you around it. You gasped, your high bubbling in your stomach.

"Wanna cum!" you cried, attempting to reach down and circle your clit again only to be stopped once more.

"I said no, little one," he snapped, pinning your hands above your head as he loomed above you, "You can do it. Cum for me."

Your body went still, focusing on the feeling of his cock filling you and stretching you. His cock was so big that he didn't even have to try to reach any good spots within you.

Astoundingly, you shrieked as your orgasm finally washed over you. Taehyung cursed in your ear, fucking you ruthlessly through the high. Distantly, you felt wetness splatter between your thighs and coat both of you. You chanted his name as you squirmed and writhed at the overwhelming pleasure.

"Shit, I'm― " Taehyung's warning was cut off by a groan.

His weight fell on you fully and he hid his face in your neck as he came. You hugged him against you, still trembling as he pumped his hot cum into you. There was so much, his cock keeping his cum plugged inside you. You gasped and twitched as you felt your stomach bloat over so slightly. You walls clenched around him, the idea of him filling you so much sending you into another quiet orgasm.

It was less spectacular than the others, but still left you gasping of air. Taehyung groaned in your ear as he felt you cum around his sensitive cock once again ― forcing a couple more spurts out of him to add.

It seemed like forever until his body finally relaxed. He continued to hold you, pressing kisses against any place he possibly could.

"That was...nice..." you muttered, making him laugh as he rolled off of you.

Your mouth fell open as he pulled his cock out ― it ached, there was no denying it. There was a gush of his cum, so much of it that it formed of pool beneath you. Your cheeks felt hot as Taehyung watched his cum pour out of your abused hole.

"Who knew my little human girl could take so much?" he teased, enjoyed the way you squirmed in embarrassment, "Want to take a shower?"

"Only if you will with me," you offered with a tired voice, watching his face morph into an expression of confusion.

"Is that some type of human thing?" he asked, sitting up and stretching his muscles.

"Apparently so," you whispered.

"Hey..." he paused from getting off of the bed. "You...you'll be here a while, right?"

"What do you mean?" you asked, clenching your thighs shut as you felt your core begin to burn and ache as you came back to yourself.

"Like...you won't have to go back to Earth any time, right?" his voice sounded small, almost fragile.

"I'll stay as long as I want to," you reassured, leaning over to kiss him but freezing before you could.

"What is it?" he asked, frowning.

"I'm just really fucking sore," you mumbled, flushing when he burst out laughing.

"Ah, my cute little human," he cooed, kissing your nose.

[udon-udon]

So for the past few years I’m not really in any community or anything so I’m just really out of the loop and kinda just floating around which can feel a lil lonely cause it feels like I don’t belong anywhere or anything, and if feels really empty cause I’m not passionate about anything with people I know. I’ve made quite a bit more artists friends the past few years as well but it never went anywhere beyond that first few interactions in the group chat/I only interacted in a group chat (that are now all dead) I feel like I’m not acknowledged by other artists around me and/or I’m not good enough. I don’t draw a lot of fan art either so that plays a huge factor in getting noticed or joining a community :/ i also feel like because of this, ive been becoming/feeling more distant with existing art friends and haha seeing them become better friends with others makes me think that I’m getting abandoned :’) or this irrational fear that they hate me because of something i said or did that i didn’t know hurt them or something. I feel like I’ve also closed myself off more and more because of this, u know where you distant yourself so you don’t get hurt when they do leave thanks abandonment issues and then in the end I end up all alone, which I’ve come to brainwash myself saying “I’ll be fine alone, I’ll get used to it” but even if I do, I can’t help but feel envious when I see artists friends on Twitter tagging each other in art memes, replying to their art posts, etc etc. I get over it in the end cause I know that in the end it’s really all my fault for not trying to become close to other artists. You can argue and say “but udon, just get into a fandom then and start there” but I just can’t, It’s hard for me to get obsessed over things/get into things compared to when I was younger. Nothing strikes an interest in me anymore and even if it does, it’s not too deep or deep enough where I’d want to draw fan art (no:ze being an exception cause I’ve been really obsessed with her lately, but she’s not art/anime related). I started playing genshin but I already grew bored of it kinda after a week. I mean I’d still go on and do commissions even though I’m barely into the Liyue story line so I actually have a ton of content, but I’m simply not…. too interested. Also school needs me to worry about assignments so I gotta prioritize (which I still fail at) but god that goes to show how short my attention span is for liking things nowadays it’s kinda sad. Speaking of school, there’s just so many things to think about on top of these sadass feelings, it’s a lot. It leaves me no time to draw much lately, and I only manage to draw if I decide to prioritize art over school work, which makes me more stressed in the end cause I’ll have no time to work on them. I think I was able to distract myself from these feelings during the summer cause I kept myself preoccupied with making my VN, so I focused all my energy there cause I love making my VNs, forgetting all about my Sadness and Not Belonging-ness, but now that I’m done making it, I have more time to not be happy/not be able to do things I like. Also all this is probably my pre-period PMS talking as we all know, but I can’t deny that Ive still been feeling like this for the past few years. All I ever wanted was a close knit art friend group that I’m able to have fun with and chill with, and be acknowledged, and loved and wanted. I’ve had a few groups before, but they always end up becoming a ghost town or two of them getting into a fight and end up splitting up. Anyway, that is all I wanted to dump here to get it out. I know it’s still a problem that ultimately it’s up to me to fix for myself but idk when I’ll be able to fix it. Can’t it just miraculously happen one day pls. Notice me senpais (even on a serious post I still end up joking at the end to brush it off and not make things too depressed sounding which undoubtedly that is what I am. Which I’ve come to terms with and accepted that even though there are people out there doing a lot more worse than I am, my own depression isn’t something I should invalidate. But it’s still a work in progress. I need to start looking for a therapist highkey.

TLDR:

- udon feels like she doesn’t belong anywhere in the art community -she can’t get interested in things like fandoms anymore -shes distancing herself with her existing art friends cause she feels like they’re leaving her and basically just wants something she doesn’t have aka a tight knit artist friend group that won’t become a ghost town. -udon just wants to be noticed by other artists. -Udon can’t make long term close art friends. -Udon acknowledges her depression

[warmau]

painter!au jihoon

*this post was commissioned | based very lightly off seventeen - fallin’ flowers tw: break up mention/general angst

“something in your gentleness entraps him you make it look so easy, to love and provide for something he knows a flower is one thing, a human is another - but could you do that for him too?”

you had thought jihoon was going to marry them

so standing in the middle of his studio with the remnants of their relationship, a broken vase of lilies in the corner, his undone portrait of them dripping down with the streaks of paint he’d thrown at the canvas in a fit of confusion and pain

feels .......... wrong

as if you were the one who was broken up with, and not jihoon who is on his knees a couple of feet away

hands stained in watercolors, eyes blank and burrowing

you reach for the wilting lilies first, you’ve known jihoon long enough to be aware of the fact that trying to use words to comfort him right now won’t work

so you silently begin to clean up, plucking items that belong to his ex and placing them out of sight

you take the ruined canvas with half their face sketched out and turn it over

jihoon doesn’t move from his spot as you work - doesn’t say anything - doesn’t even look at you

when you’re done you finally kneel down beside him, bring the hot wet towel to his hands and start to scrub the dry paint from his palms

you try to be gently but jihoon finally speaks

“harder, you have to scrub harder if you want to get rid of them.”

you can’t tell if he’s talking about the paint or of the memories that must be flooding into him

you had remembered how happy he had looked, being in love, being with someone who seemed to understand him 

now he was empty and you were scared of what could happen if he was left like this alone

you don’t argue, you scrub harder and finally you get some of the colors off his skin

there’s still smudges thought, the same way there will still be those pieces of his ex scarred across him 

time heals everything - you want to say that, but its too early to start preaching 

instead you tell jihoon he should go to bed now, you’ll take care of the rest of the cleaning up and put his art supplies away

he gives a vague sort of look toward the bedroom and then back at you

“i broke the vase, the one with the lilies.”

“it’s ok, ive already cleaned-”

“i should go buy fresh ones.”

his eyes glaze over, he gets up and you scramble to your feet in the process

you put a hand on his chest to stop him and jihoon stares at you, but you can tell he isnt focused 

“ill buy them, please jihoon. go to bed.”

somehow you manage to get him to turn around

and you are standing now in the doorway to his apartment, with a trash bag full of his exes things and the pathetic looking lilies 

you had bought them as a gift when you’d come over to celebrate jihoon’s successful art show

his ex had put them into a vase and gushed over how pretty they looked - jihoon had never been one to be so romantic, but he had said that they looked almost as pretty as his ex did

you had watched them be so loving toward each other just days ago

but now it was all gone and part of you is angry at both of them

at jihoon’s ex for leaving him, out of the blue and with no real reason but the excuse of having “outgrown” him

and at jihoon for calling you after it had happened

but that anger toward him is really just a cover for something else

the hollowing pit in your stomach that has always been there since you met jihoon in college. 

the pit you’ve covered with years of support for him and his relationships and his art

the pit, in which sits the actual emotion you’ve been hiding from the world

if you had picked me, i would have never hurt you like this

the thought is cruel and you tell yourself never to think such a thing like that again

but its there, it will always be there, because you love jihoon

not that you ever plan to let that truth come to the surface...... 

the next morning, you stop by the florist to pick up the lilies you promised you’d buy

you look at them, watching as one of the petals sags to the side, threatening to fall 

you dont know what it is about lilies in particular - they bloom so big and beautiful that they often steal the attention in a garden

they’re quite the opposite of you

who has always found yourself more of a queen anne’s lace, playing a side role in the main stories of all your friends

 but you adore them above all other flowers, touching the petal made of velvet and suddenly remembering that you had seen lilies when you first met jihoon

you had taken art in college as an extra credit class

you weren’t at all any good, but it was enjoyable to take a course that didnt demand much from you but creativity

one of the first assignments had been still life: drawing baskets of fruit, books on tables, flowers in vases

you had ended up with a vase with one purple lily in it. 

the only other person who had also chose it was jihoon

you didn’t know his name back then

just that he was so beautiful, like he had been drawn himself and came to life off the page

his eyes like umber, russet sunsets - his mouth slightly parted in concentration as he let his pencil flow across his canvas

you had trouble focusing on the flower, which is probably half the reason it came out terribly

but it had also allowed jihoon to look over and offer with a quiet tone, that you maybe work on shading here - and dimension here

you had told him you weren’t in the art major and he had given you the kind of look that read, i could tell

before smiling to himself in the way you caved your head in a bit of embarrassment

it wasn’t like you ever thought the meaningless, sometimes only minute long conversation you’d have with him in the art room would turn into a friendship which harbored its way into one-sided love

somehow you had just ended up being invited warmly into his small knit circle

jihoon extending his hand to you after getting a text about dinner with seokmin and jeonghan

jihoon allowing only his and your eyes to fall upon his works in progress, you taking the free time you had to spend at his studio mixing paints and organizing his drawing materials

he never ask you to do those things - but he also never chided you for it

jeonghan had mentioned it once, when you were all walking in the summer evening after a movie outing 

that you being able to earn jihoon’s trust was a higher honor than one might think

you had looked from jeonghan to jihoon - who had been walking a bit in front with the rest of your friends

head turned, his profile against the setting sun

“ah - are you buying another bouquet for your artist boyfriend?”

you jump at the sudden question and shake your head

“he’s not my boyfriend.”

you swallow and find that your throats gone dry

“he actually just got broken up with so......”

the florist frowns, taking you gently by the hand and leading you away from the lilies

“then those are not the flowers you should be getting him, you need to get him something that will say cheer up! there’s someone better out there for you - could i suggest tulips?”

you give a polite smile

“no, i think i have to take the lilies.”

when you arrive at jihoon’s apartment, the door is unlocked and jihoon is still in bed

from the way the kitchen is untouched and he’s wearing the same shirt he was yesterday you assume he hasn’t moved in all this time

“jihoon”

you softly speak

“it’s already well past lunch, have you eaten?”

he pulls his feet up so they disappear under the covers again. you look around the room and find a vase full of old paintbrushes

you take it and tell jihoon you’re going to go make him something to eat and that you’ve brought the lilies

he doesn’t reply, not until you turn in the doorway and his voice is smaller than you’ve ever heard before

“can you put the lilies in here?”

“you don’t want them in the studio?”

“no, please put them here.”

you quickly fry up an egg and make some coffee, which you set down on the night table beside jihoon’s bed

you move his sketchbook away and realize that it’s open to an empty page

your eyes briefly glance to see if jihoon has reacted at all, but he’s still

you go back to wash out the waves and put the lilies in

you wrap a rubberband around his paintbrushes and set them by the others which are stock piled in the studio room

a small ping of relief floods through you when you enter the bedroom and jihoon is up, holding the cup of coffee in his hands

usually people would suggest you make conversation to help ease jihoon’s mind out of whatever dark place it has wondered into it

but you just put the lilies down and tend to cleaning up whatever other paper and things you can see on the floor

even though jihoon only finishes the coffee and maybe a quarter of the egg, it’s still a start

the pain he’s feeling is fresh and you don’t want to push anything

but as you tell him you’re off to leave again - you remind him that he does have another exhibition planned in two weeks

on the way back home you hope his love for painting can cradle him through this all

whenever you think of the sadness that comes with being unloved, you throw yourself into your hobbies, scribbling down poems or re-reading novels from your time in school

you’d done it all to stop thinking about jihoon - you hope he does the same too

about a week passes when you return to jihoon’s again, and it’s only because this time jeonghan calls you with a serious worry about jihoon’s exhibition

“he isn’t painting, that’s the problem.”

“what do you mean he isn’t painting?”

“when i came over, he was sitting in front of the canvas with his hand pressed against it - but ........ he wasn’t drawing or painting or doing anything.”

you show up to the apartment after the call and take a deep breath before you let yourself in

today might be the first time you mention the breakup to jihoon, and you don’t know if its too early yet

to make the dread bubble even harder in your stomach is the fact that sitting outside of his apartment is that undone portrait of his ex

its half shrouded with other trash bags left to be collected

you look at the familiar face and clench your fist a bit tighter

if you hadnt done this to him, if you hadnt made this mess - i wouldnt be stuck cleaning it up.

you chide and immediately fall into regret

its not a mess, taking care of your friends is not a mess.

you knock on the door and wait for a moment till you hear jihoon turn the lock

you’re relived to see that his hair is wet from a fresh shower, but the bags under his eyes like crows wings cancels it out

as well as the fact that he looks as if he’s seen the devil himself

“what’s wrong?”

jihoon’s shoulders shrink

“do i really have to answer that?”

you step inside and the door closes behind you two

“jeonghan said you’re having trouble painting”

jihoon’s head drops and the darkness of the hallway makes everything feel closer and more intense

he turns and starts to walk toward the studio and you follow, gasping a little at the sight of it

canvases broken in halves, paint spilled on the floor  - but not a single new painting, not a single completed project

jihoon sits down in the middle of it all and puts his head in his hands

he looks like he’s in agony, silent and torturous

is this what happens when an artist loses their muse?

you don’t know how to help and that makes it all the more worse

you just sit down beside jihoon 

he lets you take his hands in your own

in the corner of the room those fresh lilies youve bought have wilted again

on one of the broken canvases, the only thing jihoon has been able to paint is those scattered and browning petals

you start to come by everyday after that because as much as you share jeonghan’s worry about the art

you are more so worried about jihoon shutting down

now he has nothing to focus on, just the fact that he’s lost the love of his life

so you try and entertain and keep him alive to the best of your ability

with groceries and company, bringing over his other friends - trying to coax him into going outside

jihoon reacts on some level, but you can tell that he just wants to paint again

all he’s done is brush strokes on the white paper, the shape vaguely like that of a flower but you cant ever tell what kind

he also keeps asking you if you can bring him lilies again

you do, and this time they live longer because you tend to them - and when you do you fail to realize that jihoon starts to watch you

he takes note of the way you move the vase with both hands

the way you keep the steams between the same two fingers every time

you arent burdened by the little chore because its takes at most five or so minutes out of the day

but jihoon unfolds each step you take like a storybook page

something in your gentleness entraps him

you make it look so easy, to love and provide for something

he knows a flower is one thing, a human is another - but 

could you do that for him too?

he looks into his hands and the cup of coffee you made for him is sitting on the table to the left

have you already been doing it, all this time? 

which is why on the day before the exhibition

when you ask him if he wants you to help him cancel it 

he says no, he thinks he can fish something in time

you light up and ask if he’s finally found a new muse, but jihoon blinks slowly

“a new muse?”

“yes, i mean i thought - well i thought they were your muse and losing them meant you couldnt paint but if youre saying you can now then-

jihoon’s eyes turn to ice at the mention but then he shakes his head

“they ...... i never saw them as a muse.”

he stops to think on it, he isn’t lying

“but you loved them, i mean -”

he keeps his eyes down and you fidget, “sorry, let’s not talk about that.”

“i did, you’re right i did love them but that doesn’t mean they inspired me.”

he taps a finger and then looks at you

sitting across from him, how you’ve done a million times before

suddenly jihoon thinks if he can look at you like that for a little while longer

he can create again

he can paint something

so when he asks you to stay still, you do - and jihoon brings his pencil down to paper

only to get up half an hour later and take you with him

he sits you down again and sets up a bigger canvas this time, brings his paintbrushes

and then he moves the vase with the lily from behind him to sit at your feet

“jihoon, are you going to paint me?”

“yes”

“why?”

he looks from the lily to you

“because i want to, and it’s the first time in a while that i think ill be able to.”

you don’t realize it yourself not until you’ve fallen asleep in your position and jihoon is deep into his painting

that the muse you were talking about and thinking he’d lost

had been you all along

jihoon knew it, even when he was in a relationship, that there was no one else in this world that could make him paint

he’d felt it the first time you met in that art class, he’d watched you fumble through your drawing

and usually he wasn’t inspired to draw the mundane, the everyday

until he started seeing just how much it could mean to him

he had been painting that portrait of his ex out of obligation, they had asked him to do it 

and so it had been taking a while - it had been unfinished not even because of the breakup but because jihoon didn’t want to do it

and yet here he was, the brush strokes pouring out of him in an attempt to capture every little detail there is to you

he had been wallowing in his pain and hadn’t bothered to look at you again

until you started to be there, everyday, like those lilies 

and those lilies, beautiful and sweet 

they were yours, you were theirs. to jihoon something about the silk of the petal and the sway of your hair made sense 

he doesn’t wake you up, he’s been your friend long enough to know the parts of you he wants in the painting

he only stops when he’s done and his hair is stuck to him with sweat and the sun is rising outside his window

you’ve slumped over completely onto the couch and jihoon comes closer to move you into a more comfortable position

this is the first time in these weeks that he is taking care of you instead of the other way around

when his fingers touch your skin he suddenly feels the kind of sparking urge he has only felt with others who hes been intimate with

your small stir in his arms causes him alarm and excitement all at once, when your eyes open slightly he jumps back before he fears he’ll do something you wont like

in the morning, jihoon is passed out cold in his bed and you get up and rub your eyes 

finally you let yourself move toward the canvas to see what jihoon has painted

its you.........its you in every way..........you stare at that face of yours like a mirrored reflection

seeing it like this something ties a knot in your heart

“is this what its like to be a muse?”

jihoon’s voice floats through the room

“you’ve always been mine.”

you turn - because you don’t think you’ve really heard it - maybe its just your drowsy imagination speaking

but jihoon is there and the phone is ringing, jeonghan about the exhibition

neither you or jihoon reach for the phone

instead you ask him,

 “what do you mean?”

he doesn’t know how to explain it

instead he looks at you and then over his shoulder into his room

the exhibition doesnt start until the afternoon, and you are in his studio and you are whats brought him back from a point of emptiness

you are more than a muse

somehow you end up with his hand on yours again and this time that spark is searing up through both of you

jihoon’s paint stained fingers splay on the small of your back

you are still a little scared that its too early for this, if its just the wounds on his heart speaking

but jihoons lips only centimetres from yours promise that its more than that

its all that time wasted, his attention was yours that day in the art classroom 

and he was an idiot for ever trying to put it on someone else

but like all good things - they come with time and if you want him how he wants you then hes here 

and he’s ready to let this between you bloom into something more

you giggle when his breath tickles you before you finally kiss 

you wonder if everyone will be surprised by that painting jihoon has done of you when its up in the wall of the gallery

when the lily petals fall from the flower in that vase and land at your entangled feet. 

[nethwan]

A Life By Your Side

Summary: Both, Lars and Mei receive important news. 

Other links:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25720198/chapters/63228301

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13663177/4/A-Life-By-Your-Side

________________________

Chapter IV - Revelations

It had been very painful for Ling to see Mei leave her home like that. When she told her that she needed a place to stay because she was leaving Lars, she didn’t want to believe it, because they looked very happy and in love, but with the accident the situation had taken a very sudden turn. She didn’t blame him, after all who causes an accident of that magnitude. So, Ling didn’t hesitate and offered her a room, but what had troubled her was her request:

“Please, don’t tell anyone, least of all mom. I’ll explain later”

When Mei finished settling in, she finally agreed to tell her, but while she doing so, she blamed herself for her insistence. Even saying that he had probably already considered divorce before the accident. Ling tried to make her see that it wasn’t true and that the misunderstanding would soon be fixed, but Mei wouldn’t believe it. As much as Ling wanted to encourage her, she knew that none of her words would fix her sister’s situation. They only thing left was to wait, to wait for time to heal everything. Although she knew it would be difficult for Mei.

On the other hand, Mei made her best effort not to call Lars, not to contact anyone who knew him to find out how he was. Even when Henri heard about the situation, she didn’t ask about him. It was a pity that Lars wasn’t a fan of social media, but if he was, Mei would feel like a stalker by constantly checking his profiles. Anyway, she would check her phone for notifications, as if she expected him to look for her, but that never happened. So, to ease her anxiety she would leave for work early and then come home as soon as she could to avoid being asked about him. She still didn’t want anyone to know that she had left the house, which wasn’t a scandal, but she didn’t want to talk about it with other people.

Then, little by little she started looking for something else to do. She started drawing in her notebook, updated her web comic for the first time in months, deleted the comments of that annoying hater and made all kinds of commissions. Ling had never seen her so busy, but she knew she was doing it to distract her mind and not think about him anymore. As if she didn’t know that this was her method of escaping from reality. That was Mei, even though she was an expressive person who said what she thought, when it was about something that really hurt her, she preferred to run away and pretend there was no such problem.

But it didn’t work. Sometimes she caught herself drawing him, writing his name in her notebooks or looking at his pictures too. Then, she would stop what she was doing and tell herself that she would be better off without him, that she shouldn’t miss him because he probably didn’t think about her. Those words still echoed in her head: I don’t love you and I feel overwhelmed when I’m with you. So, she cried a little. At other times she tried to magnify his flaws, inventing faults for him; she listed what she didn’t like about him, his bad habits, misrepresented conflicts, and then convinced herself that she could stop loving him very soon. Although deep down she knew it was a lie.

Ling was concerned about Mei, not only her mental health but also her physical health, especially when she heard her complaining of nausea in the morning. Nothing she ate was doing her any good, maybe it was nerves or anxiety, Ling wanted to think, praying that it would be something as simple as that.

One morning while Mei was cleaning the apartment, she suddenly started feeling dizzy. She thought perhaps it was fatigue, as she had had very little sleep over the past few days, but when this was compounded by nausea that would not leave her alone, a single conclusion crossed her mind. She tried to remember the last time she got her period. She had been so busy with Lars’s recovery and then with her work that she hadn’t even thought much about herself. In counting, she was about two months behind.

She thought it was a coincidence, but she remembered that shortly little before the accident, she and Lars had made love quite often because they were planning to have a baby. The night before the crash had been one of those occasions, and it was more than two months later. She began to worry, but maybe she shouldn’t jump to conclusions. She told Ling what was going on and her sister suggested a pregnancy test.  

The two sisters waited patiently for the result. It was positive. Mei cried a little for joy and a little for fear. In other circumstances, this would have been wonderful news, because she longed to become a mother, but now she didn’t know how to react. They made an appointment with the gynecologist, just to make sure, and in case she was pregnant, to know if everything was fine. In fact, Mei was already nine weeks pregnant, so everything happened before the accident just as she thought it would. That added up to something else to think about, but at least in a positive way, because she wanted to keep going for the baby that was coming.

That afternoon, Mei locked herself in her room. Lying in bed, she caressed her belly and looked at the ceiling, thinking about everything that was happening and how her life had changed so much in a few months. She remembered with pain, when she and Lars talked about having a baby. He looked hesitant at first but little by little he started to cheer up, especially after he had seen her holding his newborn nephew. It was the plans they talked about every night before they went to sleep. Neither of them expected to find themselves in a similar circumstance to the one they were living in. But it must have been worse for him, she thought. Had she known that night would be the last time Mei would hold Lars in her arms, she would never have let him go.

A while later, Ling knocked on the door, brought her a cup of tea and a slice of cake she had just baked. Mei thanked with a smile. They talked about different subjects, but Ling wanted to know what would happen from now on and especially what she would say to Lars.

“The truth is, I don’t know what I should do. Maybe I should hide it from him, go away and never come back. Start somewhere else by myself with the baby.”

“I think you should tell him.”

“Why? He hasn’t even communicated with me. He doesn’t care about me.”

“I know he cares about you, you both needed space is all, and he still has a right to know.”

“But I’m afraid, Ling. What if Lars becomes reluctant to accept paternity or accuses me of having a false pregnancy to get him come back. What if he ends up by hating me completely now,” she cried. “He is no longer the man who loved me.”

Mei decided to think hard about what she would say so he would be aware. For now, she announced to her parents that she was pregnant. Her father wasn’t at home, and her mother took the news very well, but since she didn’t hear it so enthusiastically, she asked her to talk to her in private.

“Mei, baby, you don’t sound happy. Did something bad happen?”

“No, it’s not that serious.”

“Does it have to do with Lars’ accident?” she insisted with concern.

“It’s just… I don’t know, I’m so confused,” Mei sobbed.

Mei took a deep breath and told her everything that had happened. Her mother had been the only one to support her relationship with Lars, not that the rest of the family hated him, but he was very likely to be misunderstood because of his intimidating aura and arrogant airs. Mei’s mother, to the other hand, knew that he loved her daughter and only cared about seeing her happy. After listening to her story, she kept silent for a few moments to try to understand the situation.

“I think the two of you should talk to each other to come to an agreement. I know this is all difficult, but you are two adults and should act like that. Be honest with him. He is probably still confused. You know him better than anyone else,” her mother said, understanding.

“I know, it’s just that it scares me.”

“I understand, but even if you’ve decided to separate, there’s still the legal part, you must sign papers and above all he must be aware that he has a child on the way.”

Tender and comforting words followed. Mei smiled slightly at a joke from her mother about becoming a grandmother for the first time. Then she decided she was right and it was better to talk to Lars.

Then she got a call from a Stacy to say that Lars had moved on without her. Of course, Mei didn’t believe her, because that woman had already been rejected and was behaving very strangely. Lars wasn’t the type to do just anything, besides if he wanted to move on, he would have called her to talk it over and come to an agreement. But she agreed to go, because she wanted to see for herself.

“I don’t know, Mei, I have a bad feeling. Don’t go,” Ling asked.

“It’s ok, I know her. She probably just wants to scare me.”

“At least don’t go alone”

So, she and Lien went with her and none of the three gave any credence to what they would see. They took Mei in a hurry, even though they knew he was following them. Ling wouldn’t forgive him. Never. If she had to be honest, she estimated him because he made her sister happy and was a respectable person, but with what had just happened she no longer knew who he was. She was no longer sure if she could trust him anymore. Either way, something didn’t feel right and it was as if he had been deceived too. Then he kept insisting on calling Mei, even going to look for her.

“Please, leave my sister, leave her alone” she replied, tired.

Meanwhile, Mei had locked herself in her room, staring out the window in silence as tears ran down her cheeks. At first, she had been shocked, and though Ling and Lien began to rant against him, Mei didn’t say a word, simply shutting herself away. Ling opened the door to check on her, and found her staring out the window her gaze empty. She went over and hugged her, trying to comfort her. Then she understood that her sister was going to need all the support in the world.

______________________

Finally, after trying to contact her, by whatever means, Henri got Mei’s number and Lars was able to locate her. For Mei it had been very surprising, when she heard his voice, she was paralyzed. She wanted to hang up, but she had also decided to tell him about the pregnancy.

“Mei? Mei, is you? Please answer. Don’t hang up” he asked.

“How did you find my number?” Mei replied in a barely audible voice.

“Never mind that, I need to see you and talk to you so I can apologize in person.”

She was silent for a few seconds and accepted because she also had something urgent, she wanted to discuss. She asked him to meet her at some restaurant, because she knew that Ling would kick him out if he showed up there. They arranged to meet that very afternoon, because if they left it for another day, neither of them could be at peace.

A couple of hours later, Mei greeted him nervously, and for the tremor of her voice and her distressed expression, Lars knew that it was a delicate matter. They talked about what had happened that day. Lars was so honest about Stacy that Mei had no doubt that it had indeed been planned, but that still didn’t give her any confidence. It still hurt her to remember that moment, what she imagined happened between them and all the bad things he believed about her.  

“I have been very selfish all this time. It was you who was always by my side, the only one who wanted to help me in those moments and the one who suffered the most. I, on the other hand, was ungrateful.”

“It wasn’t entirely your fault. I pushed you to remember me, I thought we could live like before, that I could get my husband back, but I didn’t consider how you really felt,” she admitted.

“Of course, it was, I was very stubborn not to trust you and it’s understandable that you would want everything to go back to normal.”

Mei started to feel irritated and disgusted again, this time by the intense smell of coffee, which had been making her dizzier lately.

“Mei, are you alright? You look agitated. Have you been sick? Do you need a ride home?”

“No, don’t worry. It’s just… now I need to tell you something very important,” she said, biting her lip and struggling to look him in the eye.

“What is it about?” he asked, in a soft voice.

“Well, I…”

“Is that something I can help you with?” he asked again, worried about the tension in the air.

“It’s just… I’m pregnant…” she said without further ado.

Lars kept quiet, trying to process the news. He didn’t know what to say to her, she looked nervous, but at the same time excited. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe her, the parenthood articles he found were proof, but it was still unexpected news. He never thought he would hear those words right now. Judging by her face she had probably thought a lot about how to communicate it to him, maybe fearing his reaction, maybe that he would reject her again. Yet as much as he was afraid, the news didn’t seem a bad thing. Many bad things had already happened, and at least this was different.

She explained again that before the accident they had been trying to have a baby. They had even taken some tests to see if everything was in order and finally tried. She showed them with the documents from when she had gone to the gynecologist with Ling. The pregnancy was going great, all she needed was some vitamins, and rest and better nutrition, nothing out of the ordinary.  

“I’m really sorry, I didn’t want it to be under these circumstances. But I won’t ask anything in return. And yes, it’s really yours, if you want a paternity test, I am more than willing to allow it…” she said.

“No need” he asked, trying to reassure her.

“Anyway, I just wanted you to know, in case you ever want to meet the child,” she said hesitantly.

“What are you talking about? Of course, I’m going to take responsibility,” he replied, holding her hand.

“No, you don’t have to. This was between me and the old Lars …” she said, breaking away from him. “I just wanted you to know.”

“But I can’t leave you like this. You are still my wife and that baby is mine too. I know I have no right to claim anything after how much I’ve made you suffer, but I don’t want to abandon you in that state.”

“Really, It’s not necessary. I don’t want anything from you, we’ll manage” she said in trembling voice, taking her hands off him.

“It is. You didn’t do that to yourself, it takes two to tango.”

Even though Lars was scared to death and didn’t know what would happen from now on, he had to do the right thing and take responsibility. How could he be able to leave her alone and pregnant, while he was too comfortable and carefree in a huge apartment. Yes, Mei had her sister who had surely been her biggest support in the last weeks, but it wasn’t fair to her either. Ling probably had a lot of things to do and a life to take care of. Besides, maybe it would be a chance to get better acquainted with Mei. He needed to reconcile with her.

Mei knew he was serious. Deep down, she felt safe, but on the other hand, she was afraid that he would end up hating her for tying him again and that resentment would come out. That’s why she didn’t want to accept, even if she wanted to be at peace with him again. In the end she agreed, thinking that her sister needed a break from the drama and on the condition that they would give each other their space. As if they were roommates, but with a baby on the way. So, he asked her for a couple of days so that she could pack calmly and he could fix some of the damage.

When she returned to Ling’s apartment, Mei announced that she would come back with Lars. Her sister said nothing, because she wanted to respect her decision. Maybe they both needed to live together and talk to each other to resolve their differences, thought the younger sister, although she was still worried about her.

Mei packed up all her belongings again, this time feeling guilty, especially when she thought maybe it was her chance to win him back, but with the discomfort of pregnancy and her body gradually changing, that seemed impossible. At least she was content to start getting along. After two days, Lars returned for her. He put everything in the car and waited for Mei to take her back. Ling told her to be patient and if anything happened, no matter what, she would always keep the doors of her apartment open for her. Mei thanked her. Both sisters hugged each other and Ling wished with all her being that the situation changed for better.  

On the way, Mei thought that returning like this wasn’t the way she imagined it would happen. It was uncomfortable the idea of living together again as if nothing had happened. It was only out of commitment, because he didn’t want to be look like a bad man who abandoned a woman pregnant with his child and probably felt guilty about what happened a few weeks ago. It was logical, after all she knew he was very responsible and had a great sense of duty. When they finally arrived, Mei took the suitcase with her clothes, he wanted to help her carry it, but she refused.

“You don’t have to help me with everything. My belly is not that big yet, I can move around without problems” she asked, because her pregnancy was hardly noticeable.

Lars let her take her belongings, feeling a little naïve, but he was unaware of all that pregnancy implied. Besides, he was afraid, not only of what was awaiting them, but of her getting hurt. During the couple of days, they didn’t see each other, he had tried to inform himself, the descriptions were so graphic that he preferred to leave it for later.

Mei was going to settle in the same room where she had slept while he was recovering, but Lars told her to take the other one where the double bed was. When she went in there, she noticed that he had arranged it carefully, had bought new sheets and curtains, there was a fan, a TV with streaming service, a table with a chair, all conveniently to hand. When she realized what was going on, she understood what the alleged damage was.

“Lars, you didn’t have to bother with all this. It’s not like I’m going to stay forever”

“It was no bother.”

“Then, you would have put the fridge here,” she said, ironically.

“I’ll see what I can do, I could buy a mini fridge and…”

“Just kidding” she interrupted him.

“I just want you to be comfortable. You helped me a lot when I got back from the hospital, so I want to do the same for you. I know it’s not the same, but I want us to be fine.”

“Oh…” said Mei, a little disappointed because it was to return the favor and because he felt guilty. “I’ll pay my part of all the expenses, of course,” she remarked.

He ended up accepting. He wanted to start again. He wanted to be there for her after what had happened, and of course, for the child they were expecting. He still felt like an idiot for thinking badly of her, so he deserved whatever she thought of him.

[gretehart]

Some Updates (Important- PLEASE READ)

Hey guys so this is a pretty long announcement, cause I realized through this whole month I havent been really active due to being super overwhelmed with a lot of stuff. But here's a good handful of updates and whats going on/will be going on in the future;

-New Job???? As you guys may know, I've been doing training for a contracting job with a public housing authority. I've been doing training all week for the past 2 weeks now, and it will be continuing for at LEAST next week and ongoing. I honestly have no idea what the schedule is really looking like, but from what I'm gathering, I'll be working remotely (hopefully) but the regular 8-5 M-F schedule so ALTHOUGH theres a good chance I'll be working from home, I will still be busy working and learning and all that. I'm honestly immensely nervous about this job still, as there is a LOT to take in for this job... But I'm trying my best regardless and hoping things go smoothly. I'll of course keep you guys updated on it, but Im just basically saying that I will probably be less active in artwork & streams and such because of this. We will see how it goes

-Hiatus in January?? So speaking of being active,  I realized that these recent months have been... well,  Insanely Overwhelming, to say the least. I've been overworking myself lately between artwork, this job, and many other things going on, and my mentality is... Not Good. Ive been honestly kicking myself over and over again about this, but I think this will be the best bet for the time being until I can get myself put together a little bit more. So starting in January, I think I'll be taking a temporary break from drawing and such for the month. AT THE VERY LEAST, not taking in any new commissions or requests. This way I can 1) recuperate and gather myself a bit, perhaps refund those who commissioned me and dont want to wait anymore, work around owed rewards and requests, etc. and 2) focus on this job a little bit better with less on my mind over other stuff. I think starting 2021 with a bit of a break for myself would be a good idea, and I *greatly* apologize for those still waiting on artworks from me. Honestly, I will probably still be working on art through the hiatus, as I am addicted to drawing in general gjshdgjhsjdghsg BUT- I am going to (try) not to make it my main focus for the month. Now what this means is, I will be closing commissions of course, But I am also trying to figure out what to do for Patreon Rewards for that month (I would just pause the pledge for January, but Unfortunately I am not yet financially stable enough to go without it). I may do a one-time thing like I did some months ago, but we will see.  And yes, this also means I will not be hosting any freebie streams for January (unless I decide otherwise gjshdgjhsjgh)I'll let you guys know what I decide in the next coming weeks

-Holiday Stream??? The mention of freebie streams does remind me that I was *SUPPOSED* to do sketch streams this month, but I've been so out of it lately I didnt even realize how close 2021 was already. So Unfortunately no freebie sketch streams - *BUT* I *DO* plan to still host the annual Holiday stream!The stream will be next weekend, right after Christmas Day, on the 26th and 27th, all day on Picarto (Unless something comes up of course) I'll make a post about that with more details later on, but just to give you all a heads up on that!

Those are the three main things I wanted to talk about, but theres a handful of other smaller things I wanted to at least mention, including: - Im taking a break this weekend to celebrate my 5-year anniversary with my girlfriend Nox! We'll be gaming together this weekend and I may even host some game streams to showcase us being stupid together <3 - Next week I'll be posting artworks that I finished but never shared yet, so be prepared for those (That also includes some adoptable designs that Im working on and even collabing on some with friends! Ill be posting those when i can <3 ) - I will be changing one of the Patreon Tiers ; specifically the $5 tiers. Only making a minor change to it to remove the Pixel GIF rewards, as after lots of contemplation and feedback, I decided the current rewards of monthly stream access + such is enough for that tier. This will be in effect in January as well If there are any other updates or things I need to bring up, I will be sure to let you guys know.Otherwise yall stay safe and take it easy the rest of this year <3

[swampgallows]

i need help. i cant do anything. even in europe all i did was trail behind. i didnt book anything or research anything. i just followed along. everybody else planned everything and i just followed behind.

i dont know what will happen to me without coverage. i need to make calls but i dont know what will happen. i really need help and i really want to be able to do things without my parents. there is so much my parents dont know and that i dont feel safe telling them. there is so much i dont trust my parents with but they control everything. they dont even know i quit my job because i was going to kill myself. ir eally want to get help. and i really need to get help. and i feel like the only way i can truly do it is if im entirely removed from this environment for an extended period of time. i thought europe would be the thing to help me enough but during the last few days when i realized i was going to have to come back here i started panicking and getting sick. and since i got home my body has been rejecting even the most mild of foods (oatmeal, applesauce, eggs and toast) and i cant sleep for more than a few hours at a time, at random. and i cant focus on anything again, and i only managed to draw something for a little bit when my mom was at the hospital again. 

i hate that i cant do anything alone but i feel like when im by myself i’ll disappear. but even when im with people i fall out of existence and stop being a person. i cant be here. im struggling to be here any more as a person. 

i had canceled my wow subscription (i guess?) so it wouldnt charge me while i wasnt playing and i havent started it back up again yet. i opened hots but i didnt play it. i cant even play video games. 

i really need help. i really need to get somewhere where i can be away from this environment and get help or im just going to sit in my bed until i die. im dissociated more than im grounded  nowadays, even on the trip. if eel like unless im in a super safe and time-constrained situation (like a rave or at a restaurant?? or something) i cant be a human being. like i have to have a scripted event and i cant exist outside of it. i dont know what to do with myself unless im being perceived or something like that. 

i hate writing about this stuff on tumblr but it’s making me lose my mind if i dont get it out somehow. it’s just spinning in my head and all i can do is sit here. it’s 4 in the morning and i thought about cleaning my room to do something productive while not having to be a person, per se, but it’s 4am and it would be too loud. i thought about getting in my car and driving around a little while the streets are super empty but my mom is awake and sitting by the door.

im so fucking sick of my parents knowing about every single thing i do. i cant be a person independent of them if i cant do or say anything without them knowing. and even if i put up my middle finger and say like FUCK YOU IM DOING THIS like my sister does it doesnt matter, in the end they still control everything and they still KNOW. i still have to come back to their house to go to bed, and even if im gone for days they know im gone. my sister is looking into renting a place with her shitty chaotic boyfriend (even though she swore up and down that she would NEVER move in with him) just so she doesnt have to fucking live here. AND SHE’S 29 AND I’M 27 WE SHOULDNT HAVE TO STILL LIVE WITH OUR PARENTS BUT NO ONE IN MY GENERATION CAN AFFORD TO MOVE OUT WITHOUT LIVING WITH 9 STRANGERS FOR 800 A MONTH EACH, AND THOSE NUMBERS ARE NOT EXAGGERATED

it was such a relief when i was in europe to just not check in with them at all or have to tell them anything. not even ‘hey i’m here safe!’ fuck you. i barely even posted on facebook about it except for checking in to places on swarm, and not to tell them, but just to do it, because it’s what i’d do anyway. “thanks for the update” my sister wrote, like i was supposed to tell them sooner. it’s none of their fucking business. they are not part of the equation at all. i bought the plane ticket, i paid for my share of the hotel and hostel and apartment, AND i was planning to drive myself to nate’s house until my mother fucking berated me about it and dropped me off instead (they were using my car that week anyway). 

my sister is on a career path and so is my brother and im not. i havent tried learning coding again in a while. i really do not have anything to live for, im not in love with anybody and i have no dreams and i dont even want to get married really and i DEFINITELY do not want children, i still feel like a child, i feel too helpless and stupid to do anything, my art is WAY below the professional level and i couldnt even fulfill all the commissions i took, i barely even draw for myself. i dont do anythign for myself. i cant even take care of myself. im full of self-destructive impulses maybe because i feel like if it gets bad enough my parents will give a shit about me, or something, but they dont, or they cant, theyre incapable. i think about all the healing i have to do and all the trauma ive been through and how my mother takes even that away from me, using it to further her own self-flagellation about what a bad mother she is. even if i killed myself, my suicide would matter to her more as a means to further punish herself than as a loss of my life. and i know this because when i was hit by the car and didnt have the self-preservation to call for help or do anything, all she did was scream at me at the top of her lungs and then complain about what a bad mother she was that she apparently never taught us to call our parents.

i had to throw up when we were driving back to lax to drop cookies off and i thought i could make it. i puked all over myself, bad, in nate’s car, and he said, “you need to just tell me if you have to and i’ll pull over.” and i legitimately didnt even think of that. i am so accustomed to just suffering in silence and then getting punished afterward that i didnt do a solid for myself or for my friends by just giving a heads up about what was happening to me. i just let it happen and dealt with the consequences. and that thought really unnerved me. why didnt i say something? did i really think he would get mad at me for asking, for having the audacity to get sick? was i embarrassed??? well i was sure as fuck embarrassed for puking all over myself like a fucking infant, so why didnt i just say something? like who the fuck does that? i just sat there fighting it, thinking it would go away, instead of saying like “dude, can we pull over? i think im gonna throw up.” maybe i didnt want to be an inconvenience, or ruin the good time, or be needy, or draw attention to myself, or possibly make cookies late for her plane (she had more than enough time and it wouldnt have been a problem at all. pulling over for a minute wouldnt have mattered. we werent even on the freeway.) so why didn’t i even think to say something?

i was never like this. i was never somebody who didnt stand up for myself.

or was i? i dont know. i have avenged people in the past, speaking up for them when they didnt have anyone on their side, so why cant i speak up for myself? i didnt say anything when i was being molested, or raped, but i was just a child. but ive been ground down more and more to be more subservient, quieter, helpless, and the few times i try to defend myself or make a stand or speak up i end up saying a very wrong thing or being extremely rude or just embarrassing myself by saying something foolish. or i come off as aggressive. 

aggression.

i have nothing so i have nothing to ground me and nothing with which to assert myself. as time goes on i feel weaker and weaker, more and more feeble and like i need permission to be alive. i cant be open with my family about nearly any of my beliefs or interests, hence why i am so fervent and adamant them in spaces that i can be (like, here, for instance, blogging until i am blue in the face about warcraft and dumb rave shit). in person i feel foolish among other wow fans, who play the game better than i do and know more about the lore than i do, and i am made to feel like an imposter (FUCK YOU spellcheck i prefer the -er) or an idiot or a “fake fan” or like “wow you dedicate so much of your life to this and you still dont know a fucking thing, what a loser, what a moron”. and i feel that way about rave shit too. hanging around other DJs and shit who know so much more about their specific areas, things im not necessarily against knowing but havent really done the research on my own, i feel like i’m nothing, too.

i dont have any worthwhile qualities and especially nothing that i’m capable of doing to a lucrative or productive degree. i have a worthless art degree, speaking of which, after 5 interminable soul-crushing years at a university that ground me in its teeth and made me feel like i belonged as a smear on the pavement. and then i almost was that after being hit by a car during what was supposed to be my final semester. 

im just really not supposed to be here and i have nothing to offer. and i know nobody is “supposed” to be here but i dont even have the means to act like it or to make myself useful. i cant even be useful to myself. i cant even do the things i have an inkling of wanting to do. i just start hitting myself or crying even when i try to do the things that will make me happy. the amount of times ive been at my tables mixing away and then beating the shit out of myself at the slightest mistake and having to sit in the bath for an hour to calm down are innumerable. drawing isn’t as violent, unless im interrupted, in which case it becomes a heavy weight, like an anvil on my forehead, screaming about all the time i was wasting, and how i spent x hours on this and it still looks like shit or it’s completely pointless or “oh orcs again how fucking original you fucking cuntrag of course your favorite is the inexcusably evil and violent genocidal piece of shit character you constantly try to “fix” in your head and make excuses for because youre a broken worthless idiot addicted to abuse since being used is the only function you have in this world”

im kind of glad r/incel was banned because i was developing kind of a hate-read addiction to seeing screenshots on here. i never went to the reddit itself but being raised on that kind of mentality brought back a lot of feelings, and i was trying to train myself to just laugh at those posts, but so many people like that have ruined me in the past that i ended up feeling like i had a duty to “hear” them out. i was practically raised by men who would now be classified as “incels” and that rhetoric comprised a bulk of my understanding about sexuality, especially when my introduction to the entire concept of sex was through entitlement via rape. i thought letting myself be abused was some act of altruism, and that men wanting to possess me was something admirable and validating, especially since i was so ugly, that they in turn were being charitable by allowing themselves to be associated with me, that the least i could do was let them get some kind of pleasure out of it. 

sure i didnt know any better as a child but im still fighting these feelings as an adult. i cant even navigate my own feelings about men. the pirate wants to go to bar sinister again on saturday (with smee, luckily) but i still cant feel out if it’s a date or not, and i still cant decide whether or not i’m comfortable with it being a date, since i dont know what attraction is, i dont want to hurt the guy’s feelings, and i’d like to stay friends, and i dont want to make him mad, and i dont want to lead him on either, and i DONT KNOW WHY i am basically arguing with myself as to whether or not i should ‘let this happen’, that i should just allow something to happen to me, again, because i “pursued” this man enough to let him know i wanted to get to know him better and hang with him outside of just seeing him on the bus, but i do not believe i have ever consciously pursued someone romantically IN MY LIFE (and if i did i was the last to know i was doing it). i have never had the thought “I want to date this person” because i dont fucking know what dating is, i dont know what anything is, i dont fucking know anything, i am not someone who would intentionally make a “First Move” on someone in the way of “wow i want to kiss this person so i had better get to know them better” like they do in the movies.

ultimately i guess i cannot ever imagine someone respecting me and being reciprocal with me. cannot ever imagine someone wanting to be around me for me and not because of some ulterior motive, like that theyre in love with me because of some shit emotional labor they squeezed out of me or some naive infatuation theyve conjured up in their heads about how we’re going to be married someday even if i explicitly reject them outright on several separate occasions, or how they’re so emotionally stunted that me being a cordial human being and sharing a trace of interest with them (wow youre a girl, AND you play video games? AND you have hooves?) translates into a crush because they have zero boundaries or understanding of women. 

cause like, im a fucking disaster area. i dont even want to be around me. i cannot even look at myself in the mirror, my insecurity is volatile, i’m incredibly unstable and i have no self-preservation or means of independence. if you want to be dragged down in every facet possible, look no further: i am a living embodiment of trench foot. so because i deem myself having no value i dont see why anyone else could. which is why im comfortable with traces of platonic shit and why social media is perfect. it’s meaningful enough interaction to let me know that i, individually, have value, but superficial and ephemeral enough to know it’s not because anyone has any weird fucking obsession with or bias toward me. my art appears on their dash in a flash and if they like it, they like it, and that’s it. they dont gotta say shit, and it’s an entirely objective Unit of Value not based on any expected performance from me or my identity as a human being. Just, deemed worthy, and if they add their own addendum or something it’s because they’re contributing to something larger, not directly feeding into my ego/personhood. 

and in turn, on my blog i can provide whatever sort of content i want without expectation and at the end of the day even if it goes unnoticed, im not doing it for any means to an end so ultimately its impact is irrelevant. like, thank fucking god. my blog doesnt provide a service to people where they expect some kind of Product, and they can opt out at any time. as long as im not going around hurting people (and obviously i would never want to do that) my blog doesnt matter, and i dont have to matter. 

“you matter”. fuck off. maybe i dont want to matter. maybe im better off just being a transient, tied to nothing and no one to keep from burdening anybody or burdening myself by feeling like i have to be fucking “useful” all the time. 

for how truly invisible i feel all the time, it’s ironic how much i wish i could be.

[zoemdlottery-blog]

Why You Should Spend More Time Thinking About ny lotto drawing

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He most likely will not provide a lot value elsewhere, however there's robust potential for him to publish 60 factors and 12 3s with a top quality free-throw proportion (83.Three over the past two weeks). Also, keep an eye fixed out for Bulls players in your roster, since that's the one crew with just two games. Obviously, the top scorer is rather more prone to be a top participant, and high players are much more more likely to be owned. For any Pick four Participant, I think about, curiosity raised some questions: Does this occur typically? By together with extra methods that include "double" units you now cover 93% of the April 2009 Illinois Decide 4 Winning Numbers. In fact it is amazing to see the people attempting their fortunate numbers over and over regardless of dropping repeatedly. Lottery officials say this is mostly on account of people that buy lottery tickets while passing-through and both neglect to test in the event that they've gained or not. You need fewer people to code at Apple than to harvest oranges in Florida (sure, I do know, I'm comparing Apple to oranges). Annual Report of State Lottery & Gaming Control Commission to Governor & General Assembly (Code State Government Article, sec.

This free report is based on the FlaLottery FOIA report and not simply the website - We think you’ll be impressed! Lovely piece, Invoice. In some way, I think you sneaked a tribute to Dan Fogelberg in, too. It's not worth it to presumably sit player X since you suppose they could get traded. Since Jan. 8, Grant has ranked as the 75th-best Fantasy participant in 32.5 minutes per recreation. One spot represents the MVP or Captain, paying 1.5 times the fee and receiving 1.5 times the fantasy factors. Within the 4 video games that Doncic has missed, Hardaway has seen a lift of 4.1 minutes and 5.2 Fantasy factors per game. With Doncic out, not only ought to Brunson see an elevated role, however so ought to Hardaway. In consequence, we must always see Brunson step into an increased position and take over main ball-dealing with duties for Dallas. 5. Draw Maps- One factor I've discovered over time of fantasy novel writing, is that when I'm caught on a plot point and do not know the place to go together with the story, I will draw a map. He is offered a terrific 7.1 assists per sport, but there's not a lot else of worth for most customary Fantasy groups.

If you're in true need of assists and steals, Rubio might be started, especially in 14-crew leagues. He averaged 13.Eight points, 9.5 assists and 4.5 rebounds. However he is additionally pitching in a solid 15.5 points, 5.Zero rebounds and 1.6 3s. Proceed to deploy him as long as Millsap is on the shelf. Paul Millsap has been sidelined since Jan. 8 because of a bruised left knee and remains without an actual timetable for a return. For these rosters during which you determine to stray outside the fantasy favorites, or if you fill out different rosters in a way that will enable you to make use of multiple stars, you’re going to need to have low cost options. It is a saying I was saying when I'd really feel something wasn't going my manner. Attorneys who have represented different winners advise in opposition to going public until they have made plans with consultants in tax law, financial planning, privacy, security and different safeguards to protect themselves and their winnings. Avdija is another standout international who has been on the radar of scouts for just a few years now. And that is the reason why I won my league in 2009. It has worked for me a number of times so let me share to you some of my tips to winning a league.

[rockformed]

1-100 for that ask thing. Cuz fuck you

JESUS CHRIST WILLim putting this under a read more fuck you too

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? 

soundcloud!! 

is your room messy or clean?

always messy, last time it was clean was when we first moved in lmao

what color are your eyes?

very dark brown

do you like your name? why?

i do!! cause it means “helper”!! and i love to help vv

what is your relationship status?

single as fuck, ive never been in a relationship ;;

describe your personality in 3 words or less

shy, creative, and passive

what color hair do you have?

natural redhead babeyyyy

what kind of car do you drive? color?

i dont drive ;;

where do you shop?

usually i get my clothes from a place called torrid, they sell plus sized stuff!! but i get all my t-shirts from redbubble and thinkgeek! 

how would you describe your style?

all over the place lmao, messy

favorite social media account

tumblr is m fav just cause the site works the way i think it should, in chronological order 

what size bed do you have?

double

any siblings?

yep!! 2 step brothers, 1 half brother and 1 half sister 

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?

a small cabin on a riverside with self-sustainability. i just dont wanna have to worry about stuff and be left to myself in a cute little cabin!!

favorite snapchat filter?

THE TIGER FACEMASK ONE

favorite makeup brand(s)

dont wear makeup :p

how many times a week do you shower?

i uhhhhh try to shower once every day but i have a hard time remembering a lot ;;

favorite tv show?

atm i dont have one, i dont really watch tv! im excited for the return of steven universe tho 

shoe size?

8 womens

how tall are you?

5′3″ last time i checked!!

sandals or sneakers?

SNEAKERS, i hate sandals :(

do you go to the gym?

used to every day, stopped cause we moved away from my gym and i have no way to get there :(

describe your dream date

oh gosh, i dont really know, something chill where i could get to know the person a bit, maybe lunch at a cute airy restaurant vv

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?

i have misc change and a 15 dollar red lobster gift card lol

what color socks are you wearing?

im not wearing any!!

how many pillows do you sleep with?

3, and many stuffed animals :3

do you have a job? what do you do?

i do commissions, but i dont have a 9-5 “job” yet

how many friends do you have?

oh gosh, uuummmm 2 really good ones, maybe 7 others?? im probably forgetting ;;

whats the worst thing you have ever done?

when i was 5 i stole a harmonica from a cracker barrel and swore on the bible that the woman at the counter let me have it ;;;;; it haunts me everyday for real

whats your favorite candle scent?

i dont have a specific, but i love sweet scented candles, and holiday ones :p

3 favorite boy names

Ben, Oliver, and Andrew 

3 favorite girl names

Lily, Genevieve, and Lorelei

favorite actor?

Robin Williams %100 forever

favorite actress?

amy adams

who is your celebrity crush?

Chris Pratt i guess??? i dont pay too much attention to that stuff :p

favorite movie?

ever, is wreck it ralph, atm is beauty and the beast (not the remake)

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book?

i dont read too much anymore, but my favorite book(s) is the Doll People by Ann M. Martin.

money or brains?

brains if by brains you include personality

do you have a nickname? what is it?

a lot of people on here call me Rock, but i dont have a real life nickname!!

how many times have you been to the hospital?

one, when i was born lmao 

top 10 favorite songs

GOD fuck umm, Overwhelming by Jon Bellion, Fiddle and the Drum by Perfect Circle, 24 Karat Magic by Bruno Mars, Ticker Tape by Gorillaz, Separate Ways by Journey, I Believe in a Thing Called Love by The Darkness, Beautiful Girls by Sean Kingston (i know, i know), Kill Your Heroes by AWOLNATION, Clocks by Coldplay, and Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap.

do you take any medications daily?

nope!!

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)

soft vv cause i drink so much fuckin water lmao

what is your biggest fear?

uhhh my loved ones dying and not knowing if i’d be okay if they did??

how many kids do you want?

NONE 

whats your go to hair style?

natural i guess, i dont really do up my hair :0

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)

ideally, id love one of those micro-houses and to travel the country with my house, but if that doesnt work out id like a shotgun style! 

who is your role model?

Robin Williams, again :p

what was the last compliment you received?

“i love the way you color” was the last one!!

what was the last text you sent?

“my feet are gonna fall the fuck off” sent to my mom sjhdfjhdjfs

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?

i didnt grow up believing in santa, my mom always just wrote her name on my presents! 

what is your dream car?

a tucker, even tho thats very VERY unlikely lmao 

opinion on smoking?

dont do it 

do you go to college?

no, but i want to!! 

what is your dream job?

character/concept designer for a film or game studio

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?

rural!!

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?

no >:(

do you have freckles?

lots on my arms, none on my face anymore :p

do you smile for pictures?

yep!! i have a bad sameface problem lmao

how many pictures do you have on your phone?

100+, my phone doesnt tell me an exact number

have you ever peed in the woods?

yep, once when i was younger i got locked out of my house on the way home from school so i had to pee in the woods behind our house and wait for my mom to get home 

do you still watch cartoons?

yeah, its the only thing i really watch lol

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?

Wendys, but Mcdonalds has better fries

Favorite dipping sauce?

sweet BBQ

what do you wear to bed?

sweatpants and a t-shirt!

have you ever won a spelling bee?

no, but i one a book fair contest once!

what are your hobbies?

drawing, singing, music in general, video games, and seeing how long i can stay up without passing out lmao

can you draw?

i like to think so

do you play an instrument?

flute, but i think ive forgotten how by now

what was the last concert you saw?

i havent seen any, but im going to see one next week!!

tea or coffee?

neither, unless we’re talking sweet tea lmao

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?

AMERICA RUNS ON DUNKIN YOU FOOL

do you want to get married?

yes, id like to!! but if the person i end up with doesnt want to im cool with that!

what is your crush’s first and last initial?

im not answering this fkdjgghjdhf

are you going to change your last name when you get married?

depends on the other persons last name and if they wanna change theirs!!

what color looks best on you?

green!

do you miss anyone right now?

yeah, a friend of mine and my dad :(

do you sleep with your door open or closed?

closed and locked lol

do you believe in ghosts?

somewhat

what is your biggest pet peeve? 

when people are rude or self-absorbed ://

last person you called`

my mom

favorite ice cream flavor?

cookie dough!!

regular oreos or golden oreos?

regular (put them in the fridge first, they’re better cold!!)

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?

i hate sprinkles :p tastes like paste 

what shirt are you wearing?

a fallout t-shirt!

what is your phone background?

cinderella’s castle, a pick that i took last time i went to magic kingdom!!

are you outgoing or shy?

shy :3c

do you like it when people play with your hair?

yeah!! but only if i know them fkhgdfg

do you like your neighbors?

some of them, our neighbor to our right is really nice but past that we have two trump supporters and on the left we have a couple thats really really mean lmao

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?

in the morning!!

have you ever been high?

nope 

have you ever been drunk?

nope 

last thing you ate?

 a subway sandwich!!

favorite lyrics right now

???

summer or winter?

WINTER PLS

day or night?

Day, specifially mornings :o

dark, milk, or white chocolate?

milk!!

favorite month?

december :)

what is your zodiac sign

cancer!!!

who was the last person you cried in front of?

uhhhh my therapist lmao

FUCK YOU WILL THIS TOOK ME AN HOUR

[fenfyre]

Shaping Futures - Part III

Part I   Part II

warning: contains discussion of mental illness (mainly schizophrenia and eating disorders) as well as past traumatic experiences with hospitalization

Jean almost died six months ago. There was no other way to put it, no possibility left to romanticise his illness after that point. It turned out that starving himself for years had indeed more disadvantages than perks. Like his lungs failing on him, just giving out, too weak to keep him breathing any longer. Almost suffocating alone in his tiny student apartment as well as the following hospitalization had finally managed to knock some sense into him, a feat his mother and friends had never accomplished. The doctors and nurses at Saint Sina’s dragged him kicking and screaming to what was considered only barely underweight before releasing him into the capable hands of Dr. Ral and her colleagues at Survey’s. Coming here every day for different treatments, eating meals with the other patients and getting some structure and routine back into his life helped immensely with the transition, the path to recovery. And of course there was Marco. Marco who’d started therapy a few weeks after Jean, who’d arrived at the clinic looking dazed and ashamed, taking a while to warm up to the other patients but slowly starting to react to Jean’s pestering. Eventually he’d told Jean his story. Told Jean about the voices threatening to make him hurt his family if he didn’t do the craziest things to keep them at bay, about the looming shadows he saw at all times of day and night. About the way his thoughts had dissolved until he didn’t even feel like a person anymore, his sense of self and purpose dripping through his fingers. He’d lost days on end, maybe weeks, and when he’d come to again he’d been institutionalized. Another few weeks later and they released him into the same program they had Jean, to help him adjust and get more stable, to continue to support him until he could fully return back to his life. Marco had, like Jean, been sceptic at first, after everything he’d lived through in the hospital. But they were both in a better place now and a lot of the credit for that development went to the doctors, nurses and therapists at Survey’s. “I asked Dr. Smith about the pills today”, Marco said after a long stretch of silence, when they’d already made it halfway around the lake, which was actually more of a big pond. “And?” Jean bend down to pick up a stone, rubbing away some dirt from it’s smooth surface before turning towards the lake and trying to make it skip. It plopped into the water rather unceremoniously instead. “He said he can’t give me a lower dose right now because … I might still relapse...” Jean grimaced. Relapsing back into what Marco went through didn’t sound too appealing, even though not as immediately life-threatening as a relapse would be for him. “But … he said we can try in a few weeks. When I’m more stable.” Bending down to pick up another rock and failing again to make it skip across the lake Jean let out a thoughtful hum. “You believe him?” “Yes.” The answer was immediate, honest and trustful. Something just weeks ago Jean would have never expected to hear from Marco talking about his psychiatrist. “I really don’t want another breakdown. Seems like … the side effects are the lesser evil, right? At least for now...” Jean’s approving hum turned a little enervated when he also failed the third skip, his rock drawing big ripples across the water’s surface. “Your angle is wrong”, Marco mumbled and when Jean looked up his friend was standing much closer, a flat rock tucked between his fingers, dark eyes on the lake.   “Huh?” “You need to go lower”, Marco explained, bending his knees a bit as he swung his arm back. “Like this.” With that he threw the rock, making it skip two, three, four times, before it finally sank. “Oh wow”, Jean grumbled but quickly picked up another stone. “You’re schooling me, Bodt.” Marco gave a nonchalant shrug and adjusted Jean’s grip on the stone, nudging him to bend his knees a little. “No, I’m teaching you”, he smiled and for a second or two Jean was blinded. “You need to hit the water at a twenty degree angle.” “Do I...” Jean cleared his throat, very aware of the way Marco’s hand was grasping his fingers, gently pulling his arm back. “Do I look like a mathematician to you?” There was a chuckle, low and amused, and Jean felt his mouth run dry. He hadn’t heard Marco laugh before and even though this wasn’t exactly the full on belly laugh he wanted to get out of his friend one day soon, it was something. Progress. And god, was it beautiful. “Try this. Keep it low.” Marco’s hand disappeared and Jean took a shuddery breath before throwing his stone again. This time he actually got it to skip once before it sank. “Good job!”, Marco smiled and something in Jean wanted to preen under the praise. Instead he searched the ground for another rock.

~

“Oh, there’s something I wanna ask you”, Jean said after another stretch of silence. They were seated on a wooden bench a ways down the path, still overlooking the peaceful lake. “Sure”, Marco hummed and turned to him. He seemed a lot more awake and sorted than he had earlier after his session, his gaze attentive. Jean licked his lip and looked out across the lake again. “I’m cooking with Dr. Ral on Thursday. It’s part of my therapy, relearning how to put a meal together, normal portion sizes, stuff like that...” Jean hadn’t eaten a warm meal for almost two years before his stay at the hospital and then he’d only gotten hospital food. Now at Survey’s Clinic they served a warm lunch every day except for the weekends during which he only recently started to cook for himself again as he made progress with Dr. Ral. “But uh … she also said it’s about getting more comfortable again. Around food and with preparing it. So I thought … having a friend there might make it more fun. Normalize it. And she said there isn’t anything speaking against it right now, so … I thought maybe you wanna come?” When Jean had finished his little speech and looked over at Marco again he was met with a bashful smile that sent his heart into an overly excited rhythm. “Yes”, Marco nodded, “I think I’d like that.” Part IV [This work was a commission! If you enjoyed this story consider buying me a coffee or check out how to commission me!]

[fiercyy]

to call for hands from above

Summary: Rukia’s life, 50 years onward.

Partially inspired by @deathberryprompts ‘release’, the song Heartbeats by José González and my own saltiness. This probably should have been a chapter fic, but I do not have the time sooooooo…

Also, hi yes, I do not acknowledge canon so I won’t even write post-canon fix-its apparently. They bum me out. Have a canon divergence instead:

. .

Fifty years After, Rukia stops visiting the living world.

She is a captain now, with innumerable responsibilities. Not to mention the weight of the Kuchiki name; a load her brother has slowly begun to share with her.

She fills her days with paperwork, training, a standing appointment for tea with Kyoraku-Soutaichou and Shinigami Women’s Association meetings. She fills her nights with dinners with her brother, drinks with Renji, Rangiku and Nanao, anything to pass the hours and the quiet.

. .

i.

Tatsuki Arisawa shows up on the roster of Academy graduates and Rukia drafts her immediately. If there’s one thing that her year in the living world taught her, it’s that one can never have too many friends around.

. .

ii.

“Do you remember how you died?” Rukia asks, with little sensitivity, over ice cream.

Tatsuki, with her mouth full, shakes her head, “I hope it was awesome though.”

Never one to concern herself with the details, Tatsuki considers herself satisfied with how it all turned out. She lived a good life, became a prize fighter, had a nice girl. She was middle aged when she died, but she doesn’t feel cheated. This life is as good as any. She feels worse for the people she left behind. She doesn’t know who she worries about more; Ichigo or Orihime.

Discovering she’d been right about Rukia all along was nice.

“Do you remember how you died-? AH SHIT,” she grips her head, “Brainfreeze.”

“I was a baby.”

While massaging her temples Tatsuki grunts, “Well that’s a huge bummer. Don’t tell people that.”

Despite herself, Rukia laughs.

. .

iii.

Sex adds an element of complexity to relationships that she finds wholly unnecessary. Men can be so emotional about it. But a woman has needs.

And when you’re a captain, your pool narrows considerably. Conflicts of interest, gossip, hero-worship: all things worth avoiding in a bedmate.

In the end, she picks a fellow captain. A comrade, not a friend. They respect each other enough to be upfront about what it is. It’s sporadic but it’s good; an exercise in stress relief and banking flames.

Neither of them makes more of it than it is.

Rukia is not looking for a partner.

He has his own issues to work through.

. .

iv.

Rukia has become a good teacher. She selects her protégés for their fire and spirit. Many of them have risen through the ranks and she couldn’t be prouder.

Occasionally she’ll write recommendations, and she is never more brimming with smugness than when another captain writes back to tell her that her faith was well placed.

Tatsuki says she’d make a great motivational speaker. From what she can gather, this is apparently a profession in the living world. Just talking to people and telling them how to live their lives? She supposes she would be good at that. She’s had a lot of practice.

. .

v.

One day, Byakuya makes an appointment with her. This is an odd occurrence, not because they never spend time together, but because they live together. He would see her later for dinner.

“Nii-sama, is everything alright?”

He nods and gracefully moves to her personal sitting area. She follows, confused.

“Is this an urgent matter?”

“Not at all.”

He stands until she invites him to sit, as is customary. She calls for Kiyone to make tea, then takes a seat across from him.

They are long past the stage when Rukia feels uncomfortable around him. She understands him far better now and he has made an immense effort to do the same.

“I came here because this is an official matter and I felt this setting would be most appropriate. Over the past few years, I’ve given you more and more responsibilities to prepare you, as my heir.”

“Your guidance and trust have been greatly appreciated, I am honoured by it.”

“When you were promoted to Captain, I had something commissioned for you. It is deservedly yours, as it should have been long ago.” Byakuya places a cherry wood box on the table. It’s so smooth that it shines and gleams in the light. Her name, in full, is written in ornate characters on the lid.

Rukia flips open the gold latch and opens the box. Nestled on a bed of pure, white silk is a kenseikan. Three perfect white ridges. She runs her fingers along each peak and looks up at her brother with wide eyes. “I- I don’t know what to say.”

Byakuya stands and walks around the table then kneels at her side. The panic of unknown variables and unfamiliar territory makes Rukia’s heart flutter. “Allow me.” He takes the kenseikan and begins to braid it into her hair. Yuzu used to practice braiding hers and Karin’s hair. This feels just like that; like family, familiarity and home.

She respects her brother, always has. She loves him, has for many years now. She has grown comfortable with him. But this is something new. This is normality, this is intimate and real. This is the final mark of his acceptance. This is a welcome that she has never expected, never could have dreamed up.

She feels the tears burning in her eyes, but her smile is wide. And when he’s done and pulls away, she can see him clearly.

“Thank you Nii-sama.”

“You are very welcome, Rukia.”

And Rukia feels it.

. .

vi.

Rukia relearns lacking dignity.

Alone in Soul Society, she allows herself to be the way she was in the living world, in Rukongai. She allows herself to be gruff and impatient and silly. She tells jokes and draws all of her officers birthday cards by hand. Her characters have become famous. Kiyone and Tatsuki tell her that they pass them around the division like trading cards. Kiyone is the first to collect a full set.

. .

vii.

She asks Renji to give her a tattoo.

She spends half a day, lying on her stomach as he takes a stick and poke to her back.

“Mine are about all my battles,” he tells her, with the needle in his teeth as he dabs at a painful bit where it’s started to bleed. “Yours is about you.”

He only laughs a little when she whines at the pain.

Rangiku, who holds her hand through most of it, laughs a lot.

. .

viii.

She has a good life. She’s surrounded by people who love and respect her. On her own merits, for herself. She has work worth doing. A world to shape. People to lead. She has followed her dreams and ambitions, and they led her here.

Her life is not empty without him, it’s not. It’s full to bursting with purpose, light and love.

But sometimes.

In the dark, in a bed that is empty except for her, she wonders. In the morning, when she wakes up alone and has no one to kiss goodbye. When she has a quiet moment in the park and a breeze lifts her hair just right and she can practically see him in the distance. In battle, when she can hear his voice and feel him at her back.

She wonders what might have been.

What if she had let him love her? What if she had stayed? What if she had taken him with her? What if she shared her life with him?

She does not often second guess herself, but somewhere in the living world there is a human boy who always gave her pause.

Her life is good and full. But having him would be so much better than not having him.

. .

And you, you knew the hand of the devil And you, kept us awake with wolf teeth Sharing different heartbeats In one night

.

.

footnote i.

Fifty years after the war, Rukia stopped visiting the living world and this is why:

It was a warm summer day, the pavement swam under the sun’s scrutiny. Ishida was the one to call her. He had retired from the hospital and spent his days with his family or sewing dresses and costumes for loved ones and on commission. His hands were just as steady and capable as they always were, despite his age. Though, his glasses had slowly thickened over the years.

“How are you?”

“I’m well, how are you? How is everyone?” She didn’t mark his brusque tone as anything out of the ordinary, that was just Ishida.

“…Everyone is fine,” It was in the pause that she found something to worry about. “You should visit. Today. Before three o’clock.”

She hesitated, “I have a lot of work to do, I don’t know that I can get out to the human world before then.”

“Make time,” he told her.

The fear manifested in her chest like an anchor pulling her down, the air left her lungs in a gasp. “Ishida, what’s happened?”

“I can explain when you come.”

She left that very minute. Kiyone was left in charge.

She bolted through the senkaimon and did not bother with a gigai.  They met at the entrance to the hospital. Ishida’s wrinkled expression was grim and familiar. He gestured for her to follow. He led her through the white halls, the milling doctors, nurses, patients and families, before stopping at the entrance to a third-floor ward.

“What’s happened?”

He must have seen the fear in her eyes.

“Rukia,” he had never before called her that, “It’s Ichigo.” She moved to shove past him, but he stopped her. “He’s been here for a while. We’ve been thinking about how to tell you-“

“What have you been keeping from me?!”

“-Today is a good day, that’s why I called you. He’s having a good day.”

“What does that mean? Then why is he here?”

Ichigo was 67 years old, any manner of horrible things could have befallen him, weakened and wizened as he’s become. She saw him. She just saw him. When was that? A few weeks? Maybe a few months. She couldn’t recall but she just saw him. He had to be fine.

“He’s sick, I just wanted to warn you before you saw him.”

For fifty years she had tried to keep a respectful distance. What was it for? So much time wasted.

“Take me to him,” she said imperiously. “Right now.”

Ishida obliged.

He had his own room. Yuzu was sitting beside him in a faded brown leather chair. Rukia was glad that he wasn’t alone. They were chatting quietly and he had a smile on his face. Relief washed over her body like a warm shower.

“Ichigo.” It hadn’t been that long since they’d seen each other, but she’d missed him. She took her place on his other side and smiled down at him.

His hair had faded into a peachy white fuzz, his eyes were milky with cataracts. But the folds of his face couldn’t conceal the man he was. If anything, they were just his teenaged scowl lines made more prominent.

She could shake herself. Death wasn’t the end for them. She had to remember that.

“Rukia,” he smiled, “Been a while.”

“Yes, how are you feeling?” the knot of anxiety was loosening now that she could see him. He was fine. He seemed fine.

“As good as can be expected.” He smiled up at Yuzu, who was not looking reassured.

“It’s good to see you Rukia-chan.”

“You too Yuzu.”

“Why are you dressed like that?” asked Ichigo.

Rukia quirked a brow and looked down at herself. She supposed he meant why wasn’t she in a gigai, but she didn’t always have the time.

“You look like you’re playing dress up, midget. I mean, unless you got promoted twice and didn’t tell me.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re wearing a captain’s robe,” he said like she was the one being an idiot.

Rukia didn’t know what to do. She glanced back and forth between Yuzu and Ishida helplessly. Something was very wrong.

. .

footnote ii.

Dementia, she learned later, was a horrible human disease. It ate at the mind until there was nothing left.

It was explained to her that sometimes he was out of place in time and sometimes he didn’t recognize anyone at all.

For months she returned to the living world as often as possible. It was an immense strain. She was caught between feeling guilty that she couldn’t visit more often and never ever coming back again.

Because more and more often, he stopped knowing her face. As he grew weaker, he grew more confused. His mind was failing him. He would have fits of anger and frustration that she would quell as best she could, but sometimes she felt like she was making it worse.

She wanted to be there for him. She wanted to be his partner.

But she had other responsibilities that yanked her back.

She was considering taking a leave of absence, but then she visited the living world one last time.

. .

footnote iii.

Ishida said this could go on for years yet. She wondered if dying sooner was what was best for him. He’d have a life waiting for him. He’d be healthy, he’d have his full faculties. Here, life was cruel. There was no end in sight. He was out to sea, far from the relief of shore.

But for today, he was alright. Today was a good day.

“You saw Tatsuki on the roster huh?”

“Yes, she’ll be graduating soon. I’ll tell her you say hello.”

“I miss her, she’s been dead for 20 years, send her over for a visit when you can?”

“Of course,” Rukia promised, willing to deny him nothing. “You’ll be upset, she’s looking a lot better than you.”

“Most people are, these days.”

“Well, you were never that handsome to begin with.”

“Hey, I did alright.”

Her hands found his. “Passable at best.”

They lapsed into a companionable silence.

“Do you ever think of dying now? Of skipping this part?” she hated herself for saying it, but also wondered if anyone else had asked him if he wanted the option. “We agreed you should stay because you deserved to have a life. This isn’t living, this is waiting. This is disappearing. This is exactly what I wanted to spare you.”

“Nah,” he said, sighing a gust of 67 years of breath. “I think I’ve gotta see this thing through.”

“I understand,” she didn’t, not really, but that may have been because she loved him.

“You don’t have to watch, you could-“

“If you finish that sentence I’ll put you out of your misery now,” she growled, without thinking. How dare he? But that was out of bounds.

“I don’t want you to watch. I want you to see me as the man I was.”

“You’re still that man, the same man you’ve always been in my heart.”

“I’m not. You think I don’t know how you feel when I don’t recognise you? Let me paint you a picture.” His tone was light but she flinched nonetheless. “It feels like the person who knew you better than anyone else in the universe suddenly doesn’t know who you are. It feels like talking at a wall. Like no matter what you do it won’t leave an impression. It feels like you’re on fire and no matter what you do, nothing helps and you can’t breathe and living hurts. Except-“ And here he took her hand in his and squeezed it as tightly as he could, which wasn’t much. “Except I dealt with it for hours. I could fight to fix it. I can’t drag this out for you. It’s a disease, there’s no fighting it. Only waiting.”

Ichigo touched her face and it was the first time she realised that she had been crying.

“I’ll still be waiting, here or there, it doesn’t work like that. I can’t just stop-”

“Let me go. I’ll find you, I swear I will. When this is all over I am going to come back to you.”

“I don’t understand why you have to go through this,” she drew that hand to her mouth and held it there. “Please.” She didn’t know what she was praying for.

“Thank you, Rukia, for giving me this life. For giving me this time. Wait for me a little longer?”

“Please don’t make me go.”

“It’s not up to you.”

“Well it’s not up to you either! What was this all for?!” she demanded, “Am I your partner or aren’t I? You can’t have it both ways.” She was screaming now. “I don’t need you to be brave for me, you idiot! I’m plenty brave. I love you and you need me!”

“Rukia, please-”

“Ichigo, I can stay. I can help you, I don’t care if you don’t remember me. You shouldn’t have to be alone. I don’t want to leave you!” Kuchikis do not get hysterical, but it was a near thing.

“What did I tell you? Your opinions are hereby rejected.”

That was ten years ago.

.

.

One night to be confused One night to speed up truth We had a promise made Four hands and then away

. .

ix.

She’s been grooming Tatsuki.

She’s a powerful woman with raw talent and the instincts of a prize fighter. Rukia enjoys training her. It’s like directing a tornado or a hurricane. “Again.” She commands. With a twitch of her wrist, Tatsuki’s zanpakuto flies into the air and plants itself twenty feet behind her.

“Every time we do this it gets more humiliating,” Tatsuki moans, “I feel like you’re trying harder. Were you not trying before?”

“She just wants to look cool while she kicks your ass,” Renji chimes in from the sidelines.

“That’s just not fair,” she pants, hands on her knees.

“If I’m making eye contact with you, it means you’ve improved.”

“Oh come on!”

“I could bring out the paperwork and read some of it over while we do this if that would make you feel better.” Rukia’s grin shows all her teeth. She smugly turns her nose up as she goads the other woman into battle. “Come on Arisawa, don’t you think you can hold my attention?”

“I’ll hold your attention alright…” she grumbles under her breath before picking up her sword and charging again. “Haaaaaaaayaaaaah— OW! OW! OW!”

Rukia pushes Tatsuki’s sword aside with the back of her knuckles, putting her off-balance. She then hits her directly in the funny bone.

“You’re the worst.”

At Renji’s snort, Rukia’s gaze cuts up towards him, “Glad you’re enjoying yourself, want to take a turn?”

“You want to pick on someone your own size? I don’t want to embarrass you in front of your squad.”

“What was that Lieutenant?” Given that the air in the courtyard lowers by several degrees, Renji does the wise thing and shuts up. Rukia’s disposition immediately shifts to sunny. To Tatsuki, she crooks her finger, “Come at me again, this time try to remember that you were a championship fighter and cover yourself when you strike.”

When she turns around there is a man in the centre of the courtyard. “Yo.”

A roundhouse kick would have knocked the wind out of her if Rukia hadn’t already lost her breath.

She goes from doubled over to running before she has the chance to think. Rukia collides with the man full force. She threads her fingers tightly into his orange hair and pulls from the roots, yanking him towards her in a passionate, feral kiss.

Eventually, she forces herself to pull away so she can stare at his face.

“I told you I’d come as soon as I could.”

Her life was full. She did not need him. She missed him. She wanted him so badly.

And now that he’s here, her world is complete.

. .

             To Call For Hands From Above, To Lean On

[warmau]

{Special} College!AU Hyunjin

*this post was commissioned | master list here | commission info here 

major: history / concentration in east asia

minor: archaeology 

sports: tried out for baseball, but gave it up to do a study abroad in japan

clubs: sometimes he gets dragged into dance club by woojin and bang chan, won’t tell anyone but has a membership to the seoul museum of history and goes on tours by himself often

hyunjin is everyone’s favorite person. there isn’t any other way to put it.

he has a magical, calming charm that finds is way even into the coldest of hearts

professors who are known to be harshly critical just can’t seem to find anything cruel to say even if he does make a mistake

because like,,,,,,,,,,have you seen him?

he puts absolutely no effort into looking good - it just comes naturally

and like ,,,, things as mundane as putting on glasses or a face mask just seem to somehow up his charm?

like he came into the library to meet up with felix and changbin once

wearing his usual jeans, t-shirt, but with a pair of glasses his mom had just sent as a present

and changbin (over dramatically) went 

“woah. +100 heart attack hyunjin!”

and hyunjin was like huh?? and changbin pretended to be shot through the heart as felix rolled his eyes and said

“changbin has a thing for glasses”

hyunjin without missing a beat: yeets the glasses all the way across the room

has been propositioned by fashion students for photoshoots multiple times - and by fine arts students a dozen more

he doesn’t get it

like he’ll look at his face in the mirror and call out to his roommate, seungmin, and be like

“i just look normal?”

seungmin flipping through his magazine, “if normal was what you looked like - this world be populated by demigods hyunjin.”

you can always catch him eating before class 

like he’ll snack on anything - especially early in the morning

seungmin wakes up and hyunjin is already sitting on his bed surrounded by wrappers, recopying notes from yesterday and seungmin is like where did you get those

“the store”

“it’s 6:30 am”

“7-11 works 24 hours”

hyunjin walking into the store, piling his hands up with snacks, dumping them on the counter and then looking at the cashier

who is just awestruck because ,,,,,,,,,,, i- is he an idol??!??!!?!?

chose to study history because he likes traveling and study abroads always excite him

the only hiccup is that he isn’t great at languages so he sometimes resorts to just the ‘smile and nod’ 

and really like ,,,,,, it works for him ,,,,,,, that face ,,,,,,,, he could probably get away with murder at this point

when he was in japan he brought back gifts for everyone ,,,,,,,, but it was just the same shiba inu plushie 

and he was like puppy ^___^ and bang chan was like it’s cute! and changbin was like i thought i was someone special to you bro,,,,,but i just get what everyone else gets huh,,,,,,

(not true - jeongin, a high school senior who sometimes hangout with the group got lots and lots of candy)

(hyunjin has a soft spot)

but yeah, he just enjoys being in new places and discovering new things and much to everyone’s surprise

he prefers being alone too, like he doesn’t think you have to go with someone else to have fun - you can make your own fun!

that is until he ends up lost in europe. again. 

some people mistake his wanderlust for arrogance sometimes but they’re just idiots

because hyunjin is the sweetest - even if he’s in another country for school and seungmin calls with a problem or jeongin needs help with his homework

like 

hyunjin doesn’t care, he’ll drop that money on a vpn, and always be there for his friends

took up archaeology as a minor after he did a workshop at the museum and found out it was really fun

jeongin: so do you like dig for dinosaur bones???

hyunjin: that’s more on the paleontology side-

jeongin, ignoring him: do you think id be a trex? i feel like id be a pterodactyl

hyunjin: ..........................

hyunjin: you’re too cute to be a dinosaur, seungmin on the other hand-

seungmin appearing out of nowhere: what did you say

but yeah he’s a sweetheart when it comes down to it, even though he can look a little intimidating

simply because his face. is. like. that. 

you don’t go to the same university as hyunjin, actually you don’t even really know who he is 

until you start tutoring an energetic high school senior named jeongin for his upcoming college entrance exam

“i can’t even say that” 

jeongin mutters, huffing as you give him a small shake of your head

“it’s cavalieri. cavalieri’s principal - you learn it before you start calculus-”

“will you be angry if i tell you i can’t remember what i learned last week?”

you don’t want to sigh outloud - mostly because you don’t want to upset jeongin - so you hold it together as best you can

“that’s ok, ill explain it again?”

he cheers, and you secretly hope some of that happiness can be poured into studying 

just because jeongin is sweet and you do want him to pass his exams, but also because this is the third time this week you’ve tried getting him to understand this

as you start from the beginning of the problem, you hear footsteps padding up behind you 

you scoot your chair, assuming someones just trying to get past you in the library

but the noise stops and suddenly a pair of hands wraps themselves around jeongin’s shoulder

“ah!” he exclaims, turning his head and scrunching up his nose, “hyunjin!”

you look up and see an older boy, his hair covered in a black baseball cap and round glasses threatening to slip off his nose

“so you weren’t lying, you are being a good boy and studying?”

jeongin puffs his cheeks out

“when have i ever lied?”

“um,,,,”

you don’t mean to cut in - but you and jeongin only have half an hour left before you have to finish his tutoring

the sound grabs the mystery boys attention as he gives jeongin’s hair a ruffle 

his eyes meet yours and instead of the usual audible gasp or blush that he’s accustomed to seeing on everyones face

you just stare

“so-sorry, did i interrupt?”

you’re far too worried about jeongin’s inability to do math then to notice just how strikingly handsome this guy is

jeongin shoos him off and you don’t pay much attention as you turn back to the textbook

“ok, so - if two regions of a plane are-”

jeongin listens, trying hard to keep up with you 

the boy from before doesn’t leave the library, he just hangs back and waits around till he sees you waving and jeongin bounding over to him with his bag over his shoulder

“are you buying me snacks?!?”

he sings and hyunjin gives him half a grin

“sure. by the way - whats your tutors name?”

you see jeongin three times a week to study - each time you sort of have to backtrack through what he can can’t remember 

but he’s adorable and always brimming with energy so it isn’t all that bad

the only thing that changes is that someone starts picking him up from the library everyday

“that’s hyunjin, he goes to the university i want to get into!”

jeongin explains, eyes sparkling a little 

you nod, “what’s he majoring in?”

“history! so ,,,,,, i can’t really ask him for help with math ,,,,,,,”

you let out a knowing sound and lug the textbook out of your bag

jeongin groans, like he always does upon seeing it, but gets his notebook out and ready

this time - as the hour draws to a finish, hyunjin slips into the seat across from you and jeongin

just as jeongin finishes a problem and you scan over his solution, lip between your teeth in concentration.

“did i get it right?!”

he jumps a little in his seat

“they just looked at the paper jeongin.”

hyunjin chimes in and you give a little shake of your head

“it was a good start, but see here - the formula is wrong.”

you lean in closer to jeongin and show him where the mistake is

“ahhh it’s so hard!”

he grips the sides of his head and takes the paper from you as he tries to solve it again

as jeongin works, you catch hyunjin looking at you from the side

not to be rude - you strike up a bit of a conversation

“jeongin told me you major in history, what’s your concentration?”

he seems flustered, suddenly drumming his fingers against the table

“i mostly focus on ancient asia,,,and i like archaeology,,,,”

“oh! ive never meet someone in archaeology!”

you turn your body and hyunjin feels warm with all your attention on him so suddenly

“have you done any excavations?”

“i did,,,last time when i was in japan-”

somehow you and hyunjin get a little lost in the moment

you’re immersed in his stories from studying abroad and hyunjin doesn’t really know it yet

but he’s immersed in the way you look, cutely tucking your hands under your chin as you ask him questions about this country and that trip

jeongin finishes the problem, but ends up waiting until one of you finally realizes it

“so,,,are you guys done flirting?”

both you and hyunjin jump a bit in your seats at the confident words of the younger boy

he passes you the paper and you busy yourself with checking his answers as hyunjin secretly makes a face at jeongin

and jeongin grins back - 

“you got it right! next time, we’ll try something a little harder!”

you praise and jeongin nearly face plants himself into the library table

“you’re telling me there’s something harder than that?!?!”

the three of you walk out of the library together, you wave them both off as you head in the direction of your campus

and jeongin notices how hyunjin watches you for a little too long

he pokes his hyung in the side and asks, “was i right? you were totally flirting with them back there?~”

you don’t want to admit it at first, but slowly you start to look forward to seeing hyunjin pick jeongin up from tutoring

you tell yourself it’s because he’s interesting - he’s been to so many places and his major is so different from yours!!!

it has nothing to do with the fact that after finally looking at him for more than a mere second

you come to the realization that he’s,,,,,,,,,by far the most gorgeous man you’ve ever seen

either way - your main focus is always jeongin

because the test is approaching and he’s been doing better, but math always has its way of creeping up and destroying you 

so you constantly try to make sure he’s grasping everything

hyunjin gets into the habit of showing up earlier too

like he’ll just hang around in the history section or something, stealing peeks at you and jeongin from over his book

and when it’s time to finish - he’ll come over and jeongin will be momentarily distracted by whatever food hyunjin has in his backpack 

and you and him will talk a little

one afternoon, you get to the library and start setting up for the tutoring session

it’s exceptionally hot - and the A.C. is near dead in the library - so you put all your hair up and unbutton your shirt just a bit

you fan yourself with a folder and wait around for jeongin

but after twenty minutes,,,,,,,you realize he isn’t showing up

you check your phone - there aren’t any texts from him about canceling or being late

usually he always tells you beforehand, and you’ve been tutoring this kid for over a month now - you know he wouldn’t just ditch

you frown, suddenly filled with worry about what could have happened to him when your phone vibrates in your hand

its an unknown number - so you’re cautious as you pick up

“hello?”

“ah - hey, it’s hyunjin. sorry to call you out of the blue, but jeongin just told me he’s not back from a school trip and that he tried to text you but it won’t go through?”

you feel relief wash over you, happy to know nothing bad has happened

“ok, i was waiting for him and getting worried-”

“really?!? ill scold him when he gets back, you shouldn’t be suffering in the heat just because he doesn’t know how to get signal on a mountain.”

you laugh and hear the librarian shush you from somewhere

“hey, since you have this hour free - do you want to do something?”

for a second you think you’ve misheard his request

“is the library free?”

you repeat

hyunjin gives an embarrassed chuckle on the other end of the line

“no, no - are you free? right now? im like outside the library anyway and ,,,,,,,,, since it’s hot,,,,,,,,,,,, you know,,,,,,,,some bingsu or,,,,,,something,,,,,,”

his voice trails off a bit and if you could see him - you’d know the tips of his ears were flaring red

you don’t really know what to say - and you don’t remember what you say either

you just know that ten minutes later you’re sitting across from hyunjin at a cafe with a gigantic mound of shaved mango flavored ice cream

(and the jealous glare of a couple of other students too)

“is jeongin on his graduation trip?”

“something like that, he was trying to facetime me but ,,,,, he’s short so it didn’t work out”

you giggle into your palm and hyunjin can’t help but feel a little proud at how he’s the one to make you laugh

he adores jeongin to bits - but right now, your attention is all his

“ive never really traveled, my schools trip was just to another town”

you dip your spoon into the quickly melting ice and hyunjin can’t believe something so small 

and so normal 

makes his heart twist a little

“have you ever been out of the country?”

“maybe twice?”

he leans forward, “where would you want to go?”

you think about it, holding the spoon up against your lips

hyunjin blinks a little because he doesn’t want to focus on the slope of your neck or the buttons undone on your shirt, really he just doesn’t understand what’s going on

he knew he thought you were cute - and sure he’d been flirting a little like jeongin had accused

but this was different

now you two were alone and there was more time to look at you - to listen to you

hyunjin swallows a little of the lump formed in his throat just in time for you you to answer him with a grin

“i would want to go to hawaii.”

this is the moment where he should say something cool, something his friend chan would say like 

‘oh, ill take you there!’ ‘let’s go together then!’ 

but all he manages to stutter out is 

“th-there are lots of ruins there, excavating would be fun!”

hyunjin expects you’ll laugh at him for being such a dork, but you don’t - you just agree right away

“i bet all history majors want to visit the volcanoes there!”

oh shit - i think i like them just a little more after that!

hyunjin digs into the bingsu in order to avoid the big smile about to slap onto his face

you guys talk more, losing track of time until your phone blows up with notifications from your nighttime study group

you thank hyunjin and offer to pay him back - but he refuses

instead he walks with you all the way to your campus and as you say your goodbyes outside of your majors building

you hear a couple people whisper

“who is that guy?”

you join your group and hyunjin nearly skips back to the dorms

seungmin looks at him funny when he does a spin as he comes through the dorm and lands face first on his bed

“did you win the lottery hyunjin?”

“something like that.”

the next time you show up to the library, hyunjin is already there 

he’s pinching jeongin’s ear and when you get close you hear him scolding 

“you need to apologize, they waited almost half an hour for you!”

“but i called you to tell them i couldn’t make it - plus why are you angry!! you got a date out of it!”

you freeze and hyunjin looks up, turning shy as jeongin pulls himself free

“i-it wasn’t a d-date -”

hyunjin starts, buffering and unsure of where to look 

you or jeongin

but the younger boy rolls his eyes 

“yeah it wasn’t, you took them out for bingsu! hyunjin buy them dinner next time - right?”

jeongin looks at you, clear eyed and waiting

it feels like the library is even more stuffier than usual as you blink

“i - um-”

“if you want,,,,i can,,,,take you to dinner,,,,sometime,,,,,”

hyunjin can’t believe what he’s saying - but he means it and he hopes more than anything you’ll say yes

so he doesnt look like a fool but also because jeongin is right, bingsu in a cafe is a friend thing. dinner is ..........

you hesitate, you like hyunjin, he’s undeniably handsome and your conversations are always so fun 

but you look at jeongin who just motions a nod with his head

“o-ok,,,”

you finally agree and jeongin claps his hands together so loud you all get shushed again

“but for now, let’s do some math!”

you save face as quickly as possible, setting your books down as jeongin opens up his notebook

and hyunjin feels so happy, he nearly goes into a daze before jeongin is like hyung get out of that chair i need to be next to them to do my work

you end up going to dinner a week later with hyunjin, nothing fancy - you two are college students afterall - but it’s much more intimate and ,,, close than sitting in a crowded cafe

hyunjin looks close to perfect in black jeans and a navy button up

usually he’s always in sweats and a baseball cap

but today all he has on are his glasses, with his hair neatly done up

(courtesy of seungmin who was not about to let hyunjin leave the house for a DATE with unbrushed hair)

it feels all a little mature, until hyunjin flips his phone to show you the group chat he’s in 

and felix has sent the same message thirty times over: don’t eat their leftovers hyunjin - i know you’ll be tempted to

you laugh a little, bringing your hand up to your lips and hyunjin feels comfortable

because you aren’t expecting him to be some perfectly stoic guy just because of his face

you’re actually enjoying the fact that he (and his closest friends) are all silly 

hyunjin shrugs off his jacket as he walks you back to your dorm

he wants to offer it to you - but he suddenly feels like it’ll be awkward just to put it around your shoulder

so he fumbles a little and he looks like a lost puppy until finally you ask if you can borrow it

and with a red blush he mumbles yes

once you get to the dorms, you turn to tell hyunjin you’ve had a fun night and he enthusiastically replies that he has too

and the moment comes

the moment where hyunjin is sure he’s supposed to kiss you 

but even for someone so handsome and popular, this is new and he doesn’t want to ruin it

you feel your own palms get a little sweaty and you think maybe just a hug will be a good idea for tonight

when you hear hyunjin’s phone go off again

“what are they saying in the group chat now?”

you giggle and he reads it with a small sound of surprise

“well,,,,,they’re,,,,,,,,,,um,,,,”

he turns the screen and you read the messages

‘you big, perfect-faced loser - you better kiss them or ELSE!’

you don’t know if you should get all shy or bust out into chuckles because the id of the person sending that message

is non other than jeongin

you look up and hyunjin kind of shrugs - so you decide 

might as well do it, so the others don’t call him a perfect faced loser anymore

as you lean up and brush your lips against his

if hyunjin skipped home the first time you guys went out together ,,,, he nearly flutters in on cloud nine this time

seungmin patting his shoulder like 

“proud of you bro”

dating hyunjin while still tutoring jeongin for the exam is a mix of both laughter and a slight bit of teasing

jeongin keeps trying to tell you about all the corny things hyunjin wants to do to you

just to get out of finishing a math problem

and you keep telling him you won’t fall for it ,,,,, but it is cute that hyunjin spent almost an hour trying to pick out a teddy bear to gift you

hyunjin still comes around to pick jeongin up from tutoring

but it’s always like,,,he comes in and gives your hand a little squeeze and mumbles that he’ll kiss you later on when they’re out of the library

and jeongin is like hello aren’t we still talking about functions?

and you’re like yes we are - but also hyunjin you’re cute let’s go steal a little kiss in the non-fiction area 

you ask one day what it is he and jeongin do when they go off together after tutoring

“we’ll play baseball or something in the park, but these days jeongin just wants me to splurge my money on him.”

jeongin crossing his arms: that’s not true, id never use you for money

hyunjin: oh yeah, how much have i spent on snacks in the past month alone - for you?

jeongin: idk like five dollars

hyunjin: multiply that by ten

you: ok ok how about this, how about we just all pitch in together for ice cream or something

jeongin: as the baby of the group, i should get it for free

you and hyunjin (absolutely whipped for cute jeongin): d-deal

hyunjin isn’t a pda person and he’s actually pretty shy about affection in general

just because he doesn’t want to admit that he’s new to it

but you’re one hundred percent ok with it because the moment where he does grab your hand while no one is looking

or where you can catch him debating leaning in to kiss your forehead or not

are the cutest,,,,,,,

you visit his dorm one day because he wants to pick something up before you guys go out on your picnic

and you meet seungmin who looks at you and then at hyunjin and he’s like

“hyunjin you’re pretty and all, but they’re even prettier”

hyunjin: w- are you flirting with my s/o for me?

seungmin whispering to you: he’s a newbie, please go easy on him

lots of active dates where you guys go to the park and hyunjin helps teach you how to do soccer tricks

or chasing after cute puppies in the shelter you two visit every now and then

sometimes he seems to have more energy than jeongin which is saying something

and if you get a little tired he’s like “if you want,,,,like if you’re comfortable,,,,with it,,,,i ,,, can piggyback,,,,you,,,,,,,,or something,,,,,,,,,,,,,for a little while,,,,,,,,,if you want”

you and hyunjin both wait outside of the testing center when the big day for jeongin’s exam comes up

you’re both super anxious and at one point hyunjin hides his head in your neck a little and you have to assure him it’s going to be fine

jeongin is going to pass and in the fall he’ll be a freshmen at hyunjin’s uni! you just know it!

hyunjin nods and tries to keep positive

and when jeongin comes out looking sulky, the two of you go 100% parent mode with worry 

but then he just jumps up and is like 

“i TOTALLY aced it! all that math - i got it!”

he throws his arms around you first, to which hyunjin grumbles a little

but you guys are so happy that you just go out for pizza, joined by the rest of the friend group later on

“so i want to talk to you about something super serious,,,”

hyunjin mumbles one day as you two are sitting on your bed 

you feels your stomach turn at his sudden drop in tone

“is everything ok?”

“yeah, but,,,,,,,,i have to ask you to do something for me”

you suddenly are hyper aware of the way the door to your room is closed, how your roommate won’t be back till next week, and how hyunjin is wearing a loose fitting white shirt that could very easily be discarded if he chose to

“o-ok”

you feel his fingers lightly trace of yours and your heart feels like it’s gong to go crazy in your ears

when

“the guys want to invite you to our groupchat,,,,,,,,,are you ok with that kind of torture?”

half of you wants to flick his forehead, making the air so tense and getting you worked up

but the other half burst into laughter, falling back onto the bed

“you got so serious about that?!?!”

“w- it’s a serious matter! we don’t let just anyone in!”

he whines and falls back down beside you

he turns his head and watches your giggles simmer out 

his hand suddenly finds its way to your waist and you turn on your side 

“you can give me your answer ,,,,,,,, after we kiss a little?”

you look at his lips then back up into his pretty eyes

“sounds good”

you do join the group chat and the first thing chan asks is: you two left us on read for a while,,,,,,,,would you like to share with the group?

you: how do i leave a gc?

hyunjin: im leaving with them

chan: jeSUS i was just joking

hyunjin does another study abroad in the winter semester and you miss him a lot 

but you also love the videos and pictures he sends you

one morning you find a package being lugged up to your dorm by the RA and you open it to find a big sweater inside

you stare at it before realizing it’s hyunjin’s!

you know he loves it and always wears it when he does dance club with some of his friends

there’s a note too that says:

‘i was too big to get in the box, so have this piece of me instead~ your only one hyunjin’

you smile to yourself, mumbling that he’s always so shy yet he goes around doing corny things like this

everyone and their mother demands to know who the hot guy from the other university is that you’re dating

and can you please drop his instagram or something

but when you do,,,,,,they’re upset to see that it’s full of travel logs and photos of you

hyunjin is that boyfriend

you were playing around, putting his baseball cap on and hyunjin thought you looked so damn cute he got up, turned the cap backwards on your head and swooped in to kiss you

before realizing what he’d done and going all blushy

you thought, just to add fuel to the embarrass-my-boyfriend fire, you went

“woah, hyunjin - that kiss was a homerun!”

hyunjin: oh my god you’re corny

even though you don’t tutor jeongin anymore, you and hyunjin just always find yourselves at the library

picking books out or just sitting beside each other in a comfortable silence 

sometimes you’ll link your legs under the table and get scolded for it by a particularly prissy librarian

giggling about it later on 

you’re sitting beside hyunjin, in your own little bubble when suddenly seungmin is like “hyunjin give me your glasses”

hyunjin, confused, hands them over and seungmin tosses them behind him

“hey-”

“your glasses are useless, the only thing you need to see anymore is them - right?”

you and hyunjin both blushing but let’s be real,,,,,,,,it’s the truth  

[cryptoleman-blog]

USI Tech Bitcoin Software Trading & Cryptocurrency Mining MLM Review

Many studies have shown that the ‘Forex exchange market’ is one of the most unique in the world, due to the fact that it has been shown to deliver its investors with the highest capital turnover in the world year after year . Not only that, it operate twenty four hours a day, five days a week. However, with the amount of companies that are now there in the market, it is becoming more difficult to obtain sustainable profits for long periods of time. Thus, many market experts now recommend the use of professional computational tools to help us make better decisions in terms of stock buying and selling.

At this point it is also important to mention that more than 80% of all traders lose money in the Forex market. Upon investigation, it was found that these losses were primarily incurred due to a host of psychological factors and even a lack of experience. Therefore, to alleviate such issues, there are now many increasingly intelligent software systems that can help generate fantastic chances of profit on the market.

About USI Tech Bitcoin Trading & Mining

USI Tech is an all new ‘automated trading system’ that originated as a result of immense market research and statistical studies. It can be used by anyone and allows us to access the most liquid market in the world. Other than that, USI Tech provides its users with amazing support and there is an experienced team of specialists, which is available for help at all times to us. These professional stock experts constantly work on improving of the existing parameters to optimize strategy so that we can obtain profits consistently, and stay successful in the long run.

What Makes USI Tech Special?

Specially Designed: Usi Technology uses advanced algorithms that allow for automated trading in the Forex market. The software is highly advanced and is different from more than 100 other softwares that have been designed for a similar purpose.

Made for/by Brokers: the development team has over 20 years of experience and has worked in conjunction with software systems and reputable brokers to allow for amazing long term gains.

Intensively tested: to prove the efficacy of this system, we can see that Uni Tech has undergone numerous intensive tests to optimise its decision making and trading processes. After rigorous testing, the software has been seen to consistently deliver outstanding results with excellent profits.

Is There Anything Else I Need To Know?

(i) No Hidden Costs: once the primary software has been obtained, users then do not have to pay for any additional costs. Each copy of Usi Tech comes with a full “lifetime license”. Not only that, once procured, the software can be customized and modified for as many times as per the user’s liking.

(ii) Easy Investment Choice: Once the trading account has been opened with an affiliated broker, we can see that deposits and disbursement of earned profits can be obtained via safe and secure means such as Neteller, bank transfer, credit card, etc.

(iii) Low Risk: as mentioned earlier, the software has been designed to optimally minimize the risk involved with stock trading. This is achieved through the use of unique algorithms and a conservative trading strategies. Reviewers have found that even in the worst cases that we might come across, our profits will exceed our losses.

(iv) Stop Option: any trade that we might not be comfortable with can be interrupted at any time, by stopping the trading software.

About USI Tech

Usi-Tech Limited is a trading software manufacturer that has its headquarters in Dubai (registration number ICC20160282). It was founded in the past decade and has quickly gained a reputation to be one of the leaders in the area of intuitive software design and production. The company follows international protocols in order to maintain full transparency in all its dealings. Additionally, the minimum age of participation in any of Usi Tech’s activities is 18 years (all participants according to law must have full legal capacity).

Additional Details

(i) To obtain commissions which originate from the referral network, users do not have to provide any qualification references or proof.

(ii) The product comes loaded with the possibility of ‘referral marketing’ which is highly intuitive and is based upon a unique compensation plan that can help absorb serious monetary risks.

(iii) Usi-Tech can be used by anyone to achieve their own returns in a fast and efficient manner. The software can also be used to build a substantial income via referral marketing (as mentioned previously).

How To Use?

Usi Tech is an ‘automated trading system’ that has been designed especially for the Forex market and can be used by installing the software on the MT4 trading platform. The installation and application process has been thoroughly explained step by step in a simple guide that comes along with the program.

What Are People Saying About USI Tech?

The reviews online are mixed with some people saying that Usi Tech cannot be used for extended periods, while others say the software works as advertised. Satisfied customers include Martin S who says ‘Affiliates for USI-Tech are awarded with commissions for the recruitment of new affiliates both directly and indirectly. This itself was enough to draw me in. Thanks’. Similarly, a finance website called Bitcoin Geek says ‘The returns promised by USI-Tech are impressive, and from what we’ve seen from our short term exposure, investors in the Bitcoin package are seeing daily payouts.‘ Lastly, Adam C says ‘Yes it obviously works because of its intuitive algorithms. However, that is just my case and you results may differ substantially for mine.’

Where Can I Sign Up For USI Tech?

All interested users can sign up for Usi Tech for free on their official company webpage. Registering is easy and can be done within just a few minutes. Additionally, it is interesting to note that in order to reap the affiliate benefits, users have to make an initial contribution of 600 EUR. This payment can be done via paypal, mastercard or visa.

Source

http://cryptocurrencytrade.com/usi-tech-bitcoin-software-trading-cryptocurrency-mining-mlm/

[frmartinshomiliesandreflections]

18th May >> Fr. Martin's Gospel Reflections / Homilies on John 21:15-19 for  Friday, Seventh Week of Easter:‘Do you love me?’

Friday, Seventh Week of Easter

Gospel (Europe, Africa, New Zealand, Australia & Canada)

John 21:15-19

Feed my lambs, feed my sheep

Jesus showed himself to his disciples, and after they had eaten he said to Simon Peter, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me more than these others do?’ He answered, ‘Yes Lord, you know I love you.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Feed my lambs.’ A second time he said to him, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me?’ He replied, ‘Yes, Lord, you know I love you.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Look after my sheep.’ Then he said to him a third time, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me?’ Peter was upset that he asked him the third time, ‘Do you love me?’ and said, ‘Lord, you know everything; you know I love you.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Feed my sheep.

‘I tell you most solemnly,

when you were young

you put on your own belt

and walked where you liked;

but when you grow old

you will stretch out your hands,

and somebody else will put a belt round you

and take you where you would rather not go.’

In these words he indicated the kind of death by which Peter would give glory to God. After this he said, ‘Follow me.’

Gospel (USA)

John 21:15-19

Feed my lambs, feed my sheep.

After Jesus had revealed himself to his disciples and eaten breakfast with them, he said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” Simon Peter answered him, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my lambs.” He then said to Simon Peter a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Simon Peter answered him, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Tend my sheep.” He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Peter was distressed that he had said to him a third time, “Do you love me?” and he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep. Amen, amen, I say to you, when you were younger, you used to dress yourself and go where you wanted; but when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.” He said this signifying by what kind of death he would glorify God. And when he had said this, he said to him, “Follow me.”

Reflections (7)

(i) Friday, Seventh Week of Easter

It was after the risen Lord had eaten breakfast with his disciples that he asked Peter the question, ‘Do you love me more than these others do?’ The risen Lord first entered into communion with his disciples over a meal. In that way, he was demonstrating his love for them even though they had failed him in the hour of his passion and death. The Lord was showing Peter, in particular, that he had not broken his loving communion with him, even after Peter had denied him publicly three times. The Lord’s love of his disciples was not dependent upon their love of him; his faithfulness to them was not conditional upon their faithfulness to him. Having had this experience of the Lord’s faithful love, Peter hears the Lord ask him, ‘Do you love me?’ The Lord’s love for Peter was not in doubt; what needs clarifying is Peter’s love of the Lord. Three times the risen Lord asks this question and three times Peter replies, ‘you know I love you’, thereby overcoming his earlier threefold denial. Once Peter’s loving commitment to the Lord has been renewed, the Lord can entrust him with the pastoral care of the other disciples, ‘feed my sheep’. His loving relationship with the Lord had first to be renewed before he could reveal the love of the Good Shepherd to others. There is a pattern there that applies to all of our lives. The Lord continues to love us even when we fail him; he continues to draw us into communion with himself, even after we have broken communion with him. He keeps asking us to renew our love of him, in response to his love of us. If we do so, Lord will send us forth to reveal his love to all those we encounter. He calls us to be good shepherds of each other, as he has been a good shepherd to us, laying down his life in love for us.

And/Or

(ii) Friday, Seventh Week of Easter

According to John’s gospel, at the last supper Jesus said to his disciples, ‘As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you. Remain in my love’. Jesus speaks those words to all disciples of every generation. Just as God the Father’s love for Jesus is a given, so Jesus’ love for us is a given. All that is asked of us is that we remain in his love, that we remain in communion with him. In the case of those disciples who were with Jesus at the last supper, they did not succeed in remaining in Jesus’ love; they did not remain in communion with him. With the exception of the beloved disciples, they all abandoned him. According to this morning’s gospel reading, the first question the risen Jesus asks Peter is, ‘Do you love me?’ Jesus was giving Peter the opportunity to come back into communion with him. The risen Lord gives the same opportunity to all of us, and gives us that opportunity over and over again. The question, ‘Do you love me?’ is asked by the one who has loved us as the Father has loved him, who has loved us with a divine love. It is not an accusing question; it is an inviting question calling us back into communion with the Lord if, for whatever reason, we have fallen out of communion with him. The Eucharist or Holy Communion, as we often call it, is a moment when we hear that question addressed to us in a special way; it is an opportunity for us to respond to Jesus’ question as Peter does in this morning’s gospel reading, ‘Yes, Lord, you know I love you’, and then to live out that love of the Lord by loving one another as he has loved us.

And/Or

(iii) Friday, Seventh Week of Easter

Before Jesus was crucified Peter denied Jesus three times. After Jesus rose from the dead he appeared to Peter and asked him three times, ‘Do you love me?’ as we heard in this morning’s gospel reading. The question on the lips of Jesus is not, ‘Why did you deny me?’ but ‘Do you love me?’ The question Jesus asked is not one that focuses on the past but, rather, on the present. The past is past; it is the present that matters. The question ‘Do you love me?’ is one we can all hear as addressed to each one of us personally. That question calls on us to make the Lord the focal point of our love; he is to be our first and our deepest love. Earlier in John’s gospel Jesus had said, ‘As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you, remain in my love’. That relationship of love between the Lord and ourselves is at the heart of our faith; everything else flows from that love and presupposes it. Peter could not be commissioned to feed the Lord’s flock until he first declared publicly his love for the Lord. Our own personal relationship with the Lord comes before any work we might do in his name. Our sharing in the Lord’s work of caring for his flock, for each other, is the living out of a personal relationship of love with the Lord. Our faith in the Lord expresses itself in our love for each other. As Paul says in his letter to the Galatians, ‘the only think that counts is faith working through love’.

And/Or

(iv) Friday, Seventh Week of Easter

According to the fourth gospel at the last supper Jesus said to his disciples, ‘As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you. Remain in my love’. However, at the time of his passion and death, the disciples did not remain in Jesus’ love; they deserted him, and Peter, in particular, denied him three times. It is understandable, then, that the only question the risen Lord asks Peter is, ‘Do you love me?’ There is no need for Jesus to state again, ‘As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you’. That is self-evident. What needs to be established is whether Peter is ready to love Jesus in return. The Lord loves all of us, as the Father loves him; our calling is to respond to that love in kind; to love the Lord as he loves us. It is only when Peter publicly professed his love for the Lord that he was given pastoral responsibility for other disciples, for the Lord’s flock. His relationship with the Lord had to be healed first before he could serve those who are dear to the Lord. We all have pastoral responsibility for each other, in one way or another. We are called to accompany each other on our pilgrimage through life, to feed one another with the Lord’s presence on that journey. We can only do that if our own relationship with the Lord is in order. The Lord is to be our first love, and it is that love which finds expression in our care for one another.

And/Or

(v) Friday, Seventh week of Easter

Jesus asks a lot of questions in the course of John’s gospel. The question he asks Peter in this morning’s gospel reading, ‘Do you love me?’ is the last question Jesus asks of anyone in the gospel of John. It is also, perhaps, the most important question he asks in the gospel. It is a question that goes to the heart of our relationship with him, which is to be a relationship of love. According to John’s gospel, Jesus declared on the night before he was crucified, ‘No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends’. In showing that he was prepared to go as far as laying down his life for us, Jesus revealed the extent of his love for us, and he revealed God’s love for us. ‘God so loved the world that he gave his only Son’, according to John’s gospel. Our calling is to remain in the Lord’s love by loving him as he has loved us, by being as faithful to him as he has been to us. We show our love for him, above all, by keeping his word, by keeping his new commandment to love one another as he has loved us. Every time we come to the Eucharist we are given the opportunity to renew our love for the Lord. We are given the opportunity to respond to the Lord’s question, ‘Do you love me?’, in the same way that Peter does in today’s gospel reading.

And/Or

(vi) Friday, Seventh Week of Easter

Peter had denied Jesus three times on the day of Jesus’ crucifixion. Now after Jesus has been raised from the dead Jesus gives Peter the opportunity to renew his commitment to him. He does so with the very simple question, ‘Do you love me more than these others do?’ Jesus was inviting Peter to renew his faithfulness to him after a very public act of unfaithfulness. Although Peter had turned away from Jesus, Jesus had not turned away from him and he gives Peter the opportunity to turn again towards the one whom he had denied. The Lord does not turn away from us because we have fallen short of what he expects of us. He keeps giving us the opportunity to renew our loving fidelity to him. If the Lord keeps faith in us after failure, we must learn to keep faith in ourselves after failure too. As Pope Francis never ceases to remind us, we are forgiven sinners. In spite of Peter’s past failure, the Lord entrusted him with an important mission, ‘Feed my sheep’. Peter was to be the chief Shepherd of the Lord’s flock. Our own imperfect past does not prevent the Lord from calling on us to share in his work in some way. He calls each one of us to share in that vital work of feeding his flock, of revealing his compassionate presence to other, in ways that are in keeping with our gifts and our character.

And/Or

(vii) Friday, Seventh Week of Easter

In this morning’s gospel reading, Jesus gives Peter the opportunity to begin afresh after his very public denial of him a few days previously. In spite of Peter’s failure, Jesus still wanted him to be a shepherd of his flock. Yet, before he could shepherd others as Jesus’ representative, Peter first had to renew his relationship with Jesus. This was the purpose of Jesus’ three-fold question to Peter, ‘Do you love me?’ Jesus asks many questions in the course of all four gospels, but this is one of the most significant questions he asks. A loving relationship with the Lord is the precondition for being a shepherd to the Lord’s flock. We are all called to shepherd each other in the Lord’s name, in different ways, in accordance with our different gifts. We are called to serve each other, to build each other up in faith, hope and love, to reveal the Lord to each other. If we are to engage in this work we first need to have a loving, personal, relationship with the Lord. As Jesus said earlier in John’s gospel, we are to abide in his love, as Jesus abides in his Father’s love. Only then can we be channels of the Lord’s love to others. There will be times when, like Peter, we will drift away from the Lord’s love and cease to abide in it. This morning’s gospel assures us that whenever that happens, the Lord stands before to invite us to renew our love of him and to begin again to abide in his love, so that we can serve his flock, serve each other, in his name.

Fr. Martin Hogan, Saint John the Baptist Parish, Clontarf, Dublin, D03 AO62, Ireland.

Email: sjtbclontarf@eircom.net or  frmartinhogan@gmail.com

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