#jaesrri

[jaesrri]

Yeehawgust 1: On the road again.

Sunset casts some mighty long shadows as the Bouyaan's Blade head south into the Shar Magan-at

[pomrania]

Compilation of my ten favourite pieces from the first half of Smaugust 2024, in alphabetical order by critter name.

Bob, for @kirropsycho

Bruno, for @weaponisedcuteness

Dora, for @kalira

Esme, for @jaesrri

Louis, for @cumaeansibyl

Merlin, for @underwhelmingalchemist

Mochibun, for @guttersvoice

Prince, for @classicintp

Treacle, for @kalira

Tyson, for @claptrap14

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

@jaesrri replied to your post “A young man with an owl-like countenance and large owl eyes stared into the camera and spoke.”

What did he say, Frank?

"Hello, Frank! You're looking a little dorky today!"

[hotcrossbooty]

5:Two truths and a lie. Go. 10:If you could learn to play any instrument, what would it be? 25:What's your favorite series of books?

wow ily (srry i havent talked to you in a while but u r still friend)

5: everytime im sick i think im gunna die

    i have like 3 dogs now

    i wanna become a marine biologist bc i wanna cuddle with penguins

10: a piano cause its SO COOL AND SOUNDS SO NICE

25: this is the hardest question ever but i think itd be pergy jackson and the olympians 

[85milk]

Happy Birthday Beautiful!!

Thank you sweetie!! ^^

[jaesrri]

So idk if anyone cares much, but I just gotta throw this out there-

DND Tumblr, send us some luck. I beg of you.

We open session tomorrow with initiative rolls and the facts are these:

We are level 8

Our playgroup is insane-we have a fully homebrew world, run Valda's Spire of Secrets from Mage Hand Press alongside most official 5e content and any other shiny bits that suit us

No really we're nuts. We have 1.6 conlangs (one full, a dialect thereof, and a few extra phrases) This campaign has already spawned a prequel novel, two prequel one-shots, thousands of words of prequel and concurrent text roleplay, an in-universe romance novella, and at least the threat of a prequel detective fiction-of-some-length. Plus assorted art, and an intro and an outro vid, and many, many playlists

The party consists of:

a 13 year old half drow necromancer who isn't exactly an orphan. Raised by the third of her mom's poly triad (terrorist cell leader, jealous AF, sus). Recently chosen as high priestess of Drow goddess of Death we.... May have released/awakened.

A playboy human guardsman (short king, twink, disaster bi) witch/fighter with two souls and royal blood. Also a very good loving mom and stepdad and lotsa excellent (vulnerable) siblings. Recently discovered blood dad and niece rather more questionable

A big (very strong, bit fat, busty) human Magani (oppressed desert culture- the conlang is theirs) fighter/cleric (battle master/twilight) and reluctant Prophet. Her boyfriend (secretly husband (secret wedding 4 in-game days ago)) is Magani by blood but not culture and also a state official (now rogue but not yet officially caught) ((Me!!!))

A Magani amethyst dragonborn aberrant mind sorcerer with a taste for gossip and a successful shop (girlfriend is half-orc craftsman smith- super sweet n talented, shit at finances). Incapable of minding her own buisness

Fairy mad bomber alchemist with a history as an expert fireworks maker and family back home in another country. Here investigating/troubleshooting fuckery in the Dreaming (existential threat to our world). In over their head (we all are)

Human warmage rebel/spy with serious history and beef with the imperial establishment. Recently reunited after 10 years with her sister. Things are rather tense, since said sister is now a warlock of a powerful member of the government (not quite as bad as it sounds, but very awkward)

We have 2 allied NPCs for this encounter, our fighter/cleric's boyfriend (husband), an eloquence bard (9th, poss 10th lvl), and one of the two high government officials that's been trying to make nice with us (sus, but we're pretty desperate) (sister's patron) who is a 20th level Wizard

Our opposition:

one equivalent government official who is absolutely opposed to everything we care about, is genocidal (Magani are probably next), and may infact be some sort of planar horror stuck here for reasons not yet understood. Also a slimy bastard.

And his pet horror who is strongly theorized to be our necromancer's dad, transformed and magically leashed. TBD if there's any of him left

Also of interest

None of us are full up on spells, including our npcs

Being caught doing magic by anyone but our friendly govt guy would be bad

I, (fighter/cleric) gave our witch/fighter my steel sword to hold onto, for I am in possession of the hilt of my ancestor's Thoughtblade which was broken in his last stand. I have learned that in order to reforge I I must simply (not easy) believe. So if I don't believe sufficiently I have no weapon

My steel sword is the only weapon our witch/fighter has, having given his rapier to his younger brother on parting and accidentally left his whip hanging in the coat-closet of the burlesque club we just left.

Our warmage is low-key actively plotting to throw the govt wizard NPC to the creature

Once again, the creature might be our teen necromancer's long lost dad

We have no idea what the super villain govt guy is packing. Wizard? Sorcerer? Horrible abomination? We just don't know

Things we (meta) know

The Dm has said the creature's statblock is unfair

That we should remember running away is an option

That the 20th lvl Wizard would find this challenging

There are five battle maps prepared "In case you do the smart thing and run"

"If you guys play this smart, you may all live to escape. If you guys are very smart, you may even defeat it. If you guys run in like a bunch of idiots, you *are* going to lose PCs. Maybe even permadeath, or very hard to cure death at least."

My character's whole deal is protecting people

We are *not* smart

Several of us are very adverse to allowing collateral damage. Others don't care much

This is a big city. Most of us don't know it well.

We should remember running away is an option

Thank you and I'll update on the fallout after. Hopefully without a blank character sheet in hand.

[jaesrri]

Terribly excited. I have just acquired 20,000 new friends in the form of predatory mites. Might have some mighty mite friends :)

[jaesrri]

MotherFUCKING SpideRMITES. My archnemesis has stolen a march on me. The annual battle for the houseplants begins. ARRG

[catblog-weatherwax]

I'm not one to look a gift cat in the mouth, but it has always confused me that Esme is so convinced that medicine must be the most special treats. She laps it up so eagerly. And yet, a trusted vet tech tells me that most cats loathe the taste of doxycycline. Well, at least she'll be back on her four paws soon enough! Now if only I can escape the Offended Betrayal of her sisters, who are convinced they're missing out on something really good!

Thank you, @jaesrri for feeding her so I could film.

[catblog-weatherwax]

You know i live with 2 dms when one of them is explaining the premise for their new character to me, hoping for input on the character, but all i can do is take mental notes to talk to the other one (whose turn it is to dm) because the only things i can think of the whole time are ways to fuCKING DESTROY THIS CHARACTER.

So uh.....thank i guess. @jaesrri @notyourfathersdungeonmaster

[catblog-weatherwax]

Me: hey @jaesrri i'm struggling with executive function. I need to shower for the sake of my mental health if nothing else, but i've been trying to shower since yesterday morning and it's like....8:45pm. I was going to bribe myself but we're out of ice cream.

Jae: Hang on let me check something. You said it's 8:45, google says it takes 20 min to get there and they're open til 10. Would bruster's be enough to motivate yo...

Me: *already in the shower*

[catblog-weatherwax]

@jaesrri and i were talking about the headcanon of when Adora inevitably takes over as Patrician when Vetinari retires. And we realized.

Vetinari usually solves problems with needlepoint precision, but when he needs a hand grenade, he has Vimes.

Adora has Moist. He would probably end up an international diplomat.

My brain is reeling with too many thoughts now and i'm supposed to be sleeping. Send help.

[catblog-weatherwax]

I was in a car accident this morning and am 99% fine on the outside (not so much on the inside). My QPP knows i love lavender and find it calming so when i finally got home today, she presented me with a new potted friend. Yes, i can breathe in here. No, i may never come out. (Also i need to name my new friend.)

[ID: a photo of a lavender plant. There is a white person with long wavy brown hair with their face buried in the plant. End ID]

@jaesrri

[catblog-weatherwax]

Background: @jaesrri is at least half an inch, maybe even a whole inch taller than me (and my whole entire 5'2" self). But i guess i'm stretchier cuz i'm better at reaching the top of the kitchen cabinets.

So i just walked into the kitchen...

Jae: hey, are you feeling tall?

Me: i'm a chihuahua of course i feel tall. What do you need?

@notyourfathersdungeonmaster from the next room: But chihuahuas are short.

Me: 🙄 Just because you're actually tall....

[catblog-weatherwax]

Today's news in "we may be human but what the fuck is speech?"

Jae: So what are we doing about dinner?

Me: It's saturday so we're ordering coffee.

(It's actually pizza but i was trying to read and speak at the same time. Extra funny because Jae HATES coffee.)

Me, realizing: Guess you're shit out of luck tonight.

Later, we are sitting near each other, silently reading.

Jae sneezes.

Me: i love you too.

Jae dies of laughter.

Later still.

Me: Night night!

Wife: Who's there?

I collapse on the floor laughing.

@jaesrri @notyourfathersdungeonmaster

[catblog-weatherwax]

The team may be facing their biggest challenge yet. This arch-enemy is ruthless!

[ID: a photo of the floor where three humans are set up to play magic the gathering in cooperative mode against an arch-enemy. Our gray tabby cat sasha has curled up in front of the arch-enemy deck as though she is playing the arch-enemy. End ID]

Check in later to see if @jaesrri @notyourfathersdungeonmaster and our friend survive Sasha's evil plans.