#jake dillinger fic

[woah-uhuh-uhuh-uhuh]

"Jake signed up, I'll do the same~!"

because @bmctrash requested deere!!! then i went overboard because i also happened to read deere fic for the first time today bye

[theriverpointace]

i think too much about jake dillinger. jake dillinger and his criminal, money-laundering parents. jake dillinger and his peers. jake dillinger and a house nobody lives in.

i have this weird headcanon? that there's neon green in the dining room. it's part of a larger, also weird headcanon, in which jake goes through cycles of angrily, resentfully demolishing the house, throwing parties—they're never coming back what does he care—and frantically, hopefully, fixing everything, replacing everything—they're coming back they're just around the corner god he's gonna be so grounded when they see this—and rinse and repeat.

so the hc goes: in one of these cycles, jake bought three gallons of neon green paint. he lugged it into the dining room. (the dining room is dark and suffocating. there's a chandelier that hangs down over a table that is just too long for three people.) he opened the paint. he mixed it a bit, then sloppily flung the paint on the walls with a brush. the paint was erratic and messy and neon green and bright, bright, bright on the dark walls.

you can't get from the living room to the kitchen without passing through the dining room. jake sees the green every day. it's impossible to miss, bright neon green in the corner of his eye. at first he's satisfied. good. it's bright it's ugly it's not the same and he shouldn't have to keep things the same for people who would care more about the dining room walls than their own son.

then he sees it every day. it's impossible to miss. it's bright. it's ugly. it's not the same how could he why isn't it the same what had he done he has to keep everything the same exactly the same his parents could come home any day now and it won't be the same!

so he paints over the neon green in the dining room. the dining room is dark and suffocating again. there is a chandelier that hangs down over a table that is much too big for one lonely teenager, so he eats in his bedroom.

(but he missed a spot. he missed a spot and there's still neon green in the dining room.)

or something idk but i think about jake a lot.

[cafulur]

(Boyf riends) First Meet/College AU

I have been writing up this au for a while and decided to finally share a few bits, please let me know if you’d like to hear more!! ♡

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- Jeremy and Michael have never met before and are attending the same university for their freshman year.

- Michael had come to terms with his queer sexuality during high school, but Jeremy hasn’t thought too hard about it, always considering himself mostly straight with the occasional fictional male crush.

- Jeremy didn’t deal with the SQUIP situation in high school, but he definitely had a massive falling out drama with all the popular theatre kids. Christine has been a constant best friend for him through it all. He’s had his ups and downs, but came out of the drama more comfortable with himself and the world around him. He doesn’t know anyone at this university but is excited to maybe make some new friends.

- Jeremy gets invited to a house party by his roommate who is friendly, so friendly, wants everyone to join in and shotgun a beer together, like a Rich energy. Omg. Rich is Jeremy’s roommate. 😭💛

- They go to this party and there’s probably 12-13 people there, one of which includes Michael who got dragged along by his roommate— WAIT what if Rich is Michael’s roommate instead and Jake is Jeremy’s?

- After some serious contemplation, Rich is Michael’s roommate and Jake is Jeremy’s. Jeremy doesn’t need much convincing to go to a party, so Jake energy is enough. Michael needs the convincing. All the convincing. He needs Rich for these additional friendships to thrive lmao.

- Jake ends up introducing all of them while hanging in the kitchen with Rich. Michael thinks Jeremy is cute but Jeremy at first isn’t quite sure what he feels for Michael. He just knows he’s super cool and finds himself strangely thinking about him even after they part.

- Maybe the week after the party while in class or something Michael’s face or laugh pops up in Jeremy’s head, and he just thinks man I’d wanna be near that dude again and maybe be actual friends. Casually mentions to Jake that he had fun and they should do a smaller, more casual get together. It’s really sweet, they all get takeout/fast food and watch some fucked up underfunded film. Michael and Jeremy sit side by side, and while Jer is engrossed, Michael finds himself sneaking glances throughout the movie to catch Jeremy’s expressive reaction.

- Rich, Jake, Jeremy and Michael stop by a 7/11 for gas and snacks one night. On the way out, Michael holds the door open for Jeremy who lagged behind the group while trying to open a blind box he just bought. Michael asks him what figure he got and revels in Jeremy’s excitement when he shows him a tiny frog with a bicycle helmet on.

- { Prior to their little moment, an attentive Michael waves Rich on ahead, simply saying “Jeremy’s still in line.” as his reason for staying behind. Rich watches from the gas pump he parked next to as Michael leans against a faded poster covered glass window and waits for Jeremy. He watches him proceed to hold the door open for a completely oblivious Jeremy, far too absorbed in the secrets he’s about to unfold with his blind box. Rich thinks hm. Hm. interesting. }

- Jeremy gushes about his prize later at the table of the Waffle House: “I got a skater frog!”

Rich squints, skeptical. “Where’s his skateboard?”

Jeremy looks around the table for a worthy substitution, going for a spoon from the silverware pile and perching the figure on top. “Currently M.I.A. but he’s got a helmet on so I assume some skating is happening.”

Rich laughs as Jeremy scoots the little amphibian across the table atop his silly new ship. “Skaters don’t wear helmets bro, he’s probably a cyclist or something.”

Jeremy protests, making the frog do a sick spoon flip. “Nah you don’t get it, he’s just a skater that cares about his life!”

Rich supports his cheek with his fist and sips his milkshake, watching Jeremy scoot the little dude across the table. “Laaaame!”

… Michael falls a little.

[h0n3yk1tt3n]

⚠️loud⚠️

More feral freshman Jeremy because he's So Important to me (pause to read shit if you care)

[rebuke-me]

the punk au finale- at long last

[lunaryuwu]

richjake + 18 thank u and goodbye 💙

18. Things you said when you were scared

Rich had been scared many times in his life.

He was scared when his mother died. He was scared when his dad first got violent after. He was still scared to this day when his dad got violent.

He was scared when his brother left the second he could and left him there. Alone.

He was scared when he was taking the squip.

He is scared right now, because his squip is freaking out, and it has never done this before.

Rich didn’t even care if he looked insane to everyone else. He needed that mountain dew red now.

He bumped into Jake in the kitchen, in a frenzy of trying to find mountain dew red there, even though he had already dug through all the cabinets here a few moments ago.

(It’s not like Jake would have vintage soda here either. Why was he even trying? He had seen everything he has here in all the nights he’d stayed over. Rich was scared, he could barely breathe, every breath becoming heavier and inevitably being sucked out of him. Is he dying?)

“Rich? What’s going on?” Jake approached him in slow steps, seeing the delirious state Rich was in.

“I’m dying,” Rich blurted out.

“What? Do you need to go to the hospital? You look sick.”

Rich shook his head, more so to clear his head because his vision was blurring up badly. His lisp was slipping through each word. “Hospital…won’t help.”

“What do you need then?” Jake was staring at Rich with wide eyes. He was scared too. Why? Because Rich looked like a madman right now? With his hair all messy and sweat running down his forehead, panting like he just ran a marathon?

“You don’t have it. No one can help me.”

“That’s ridiculous.” Jake watched Rich cover his face with a sweaty palm, sighing.

“I’m dying,” Rich repeated.

“You’re not, stop saying that.” Jake gripped Rich’s shoulders, shaking him slightly so that he doesn’t pass out or anything.

(Jake was scared. Was Rich having some sort of panic attack? Was he having a stroke? He doesn’t know. He’s scared. What can he do to help? Rich wouldn’t let him call the police. Is he actually dying right now? Jake can’t do anything. His grip on Rich’s shoulders is unnecessarily tight, scared that he would just vanish or fall to the floor, unconscious. He doesn’t want Rich to die. Or leave. Or disappear. He feels terribly helpless right now. His chest hurts at that thought.)

Rich pushed against Jake’s grip. “Let me go. I need to go to the bathroom.”

“I-I’ll come with,” Jake stuttered, not wanting Rich to leave his sight. (Who knows what’ll happen if he was alone? He doesn’t want to find Rich’s unconscious body somewhere in his house.)

“You’re a pervert, Dillinger,” Rich muttered. Jake wanted to scold him for joking at a time like this, but his throat was dry and it hurt more at every word leaving his mouth.

“Don’t….die,” Rich hit his shoulder. (It wasn’t really a hit. His arms feel like spaghetti. Jake notices.) “I love you man.”

(The adrenaline is really hitting Rich right now. He can’t think clearly. He can hear his squip faintly in the back of his mind. He can hear the chatter and loud music of the party just beyond the door. Oh, he’s really dying now. Even if he wasn’t, he kind of wanted to. This hurts. Everything hurts. Are these his last words? If they are, he needs Jake to know.)

“I’m sorry,” Rich muttered. (It’s been a while since he’s heard his lisp. His true voice. The line between the facade his squip set up for him and his true self blurred beyond recognition. He could never separate himself from all the things he did. Oh.)

“What are you talking about? You’re not making any sense. Please-”

Rich pushed Jake away from him. All the strength in him was used in that push. He stumbled backwards and laughed again, trying to act easy. “I’m so drunk, man. I think I might puke. My stomach hurts. That’s what I was talking about.” (He can lie so smoothly now. He was a bad liar before the squip. But he was the embodiment of a lie, wasn’t he? The squip wasn’t controlling him right now, yet he still lies and keeps up that image of him.)

“Rich-” Jake tried to grab his arm. Rich swerved out of the way, masking it as a drunken gesture.

“I’m going to the bathroom,” He lied, again. He left the kitchen, hearing Jake following and calling his name. His voice gets drowned out in the crowd. Rich looked back, but he couldn’t see Jake anymore.

[lohstandfound]

okay no still thinking about high school royalty/popular polycule midsummer night's dream au where they're the lovers, (this also goes with my if we were villains adjacent au because it's the same thing but worse)

brooke and chloe running away into the woods to be together, only to be followed by jake who is still in love with chloe, who is followed by rich who is in love with him

(really, it could be any combination of them. jake & chloe and rich & brooke, rich & chloe and jake & brooke, whatever works)

of course the fairies have to interfere with them

and its a popular polycule au, of course theyre going to end up together

[insertsickusername13]

actually Jake loves Rich scars and not just in a ‘you’re beautiful no matter what and these are a part of you’ type way, I mean he guiltily and self-indulgently is actively in love with Rich’s scars because every day he can wake up and question whether the cruel, unhappy person he knew sophomore and junior year is going to come back and every day all he has to do is hold Rich’s hand to have proof that it’s not true. The real Rich is right here. The Rich who hurt Jake is different from the new Rich because the new Rich has scars and the old one didn't. It's a physical manifestation of the change that led Jake to fall head over heels in love with his best friend. Jake doesn’t care abt the stares bc Rich is free and there’s no stupid robot to keep Jake from making Rich happy. He won’t say it and he hates himself for it because he knows they hurt Rich and they’re proof of all the sorrows Rich experienced but he loves them he kisses them he subconsciously touches them and he takes care of them when Rich can’t okay shut up they're basically married actually they are they're in love

[raccoons-in-a-trenchcoat]

Jake Dillinger as Spider-Man for my SpiderSquip au.

Reference for the pants because I’m OBSESSED with those pants.

[ya-what--ya-erster]

I have a theory that Jake Dillinger actually hates having sex, and he doesn't feel seggsual attraction, but he fucks people because he's incapable of saying no

[lab-trash]

I know this isn't like... what I normally post, but how come I can't find like... any 'Jake pulling freshmen Rich's pigtails,' fics for Arson Bros?

Like, come on, internalized homophobia is the only way I like that idea/trope

[emotional-moss]

I’VE DECIDED to take bmc fic requests so yuh yeah go ahead and request ! only sfw please (and no squip x anyone, obviously)

[h0n3yk1tt3n]

💊 :D !!!

“He’s right,” Jake said, hunched over behind one of the prize counters of a ring toss game. Or maybe darts to hit balloons. It was a mess back there. “If we’re gonna get any kind of souvenir, it’s gotta be something that doesn’t take up as much space.”

Rich raised an eyebrow. “Like what?”

He held up a small stuffed sheep and spoke in an obnoxiously pompous British accent. “Like Sir Lambington the Third.”

Jeremy stared. “Sir Lambington the Third?”

He dropped the accent, “Nah, you’re sayin’ it wrong. It’s,” then picked it back up, “Sir Lambington the Third.”

“What happened to the first two?”

Jake looked down at a group of identical sheep. Trampled, dirty, missing limbs, stuffing strewn about. A true horror scene. “We don’t talk about them.”

[rebuke-me]

“Why not?”

A million reasons why not filled Jake’s head, even as he said that. Jake wasn’t gay. Remy had a boyfriend. Remy’s boyfriend was an asshole. Jake had never been with a guy. They were both tipsy.

None of that seemed to matter as Remy dragged him down, kissing him again.

~

fellas is it gay to make out with a guy bc u hate his boyfriend. asking for a friend (jake dillinger)

[im-not-a-l0ser]

Idk if this is an idea before, but I really want an Arson Bros fic where when you get rid of a SQUUP, you lose all the memories you had from that.

Arson Bros specifically because Rich would've lost at least a year of his memory, if not more. And I can only imagine his reaction to Jake Dillinger being his best friend.

On top of that, Jake is basically crushed upon learning that his best friend has forgotten their entire friendship. And he's different now too, but... it is kind of adorable.

[lunaryuwu]

RICHJAKE VALENTINE'S DAY?????

YEAH IT’S A VALENTINE’S DAY FIC!!!

So it’s a short one shot(hopefully) featuring rich and jake as pining idiots and christine as the matchmaker, being friends with both of them

So it’s a slow burn thing where rich is getting letters from a secret admirer. They write poems to him and give him flowers. He thinks it’s sweet. He started receiving the letters during the week before valentine

Slight twist to this trope, rich knows it’s jake. He’s not stupid. He knows. Jake thinks he’s being all cool and mysterious and romantic but rich knows what he’s doing(“that stupid idiot just won’t admit that he’s super romantic and cheesy”) He pretends to not know, talks to jake about it(“omg love letters i wonder who’s writing these???”) so he doesn’t get let down(he’s letting him have his fun), and rich goes along with the love letter thing until Valentine’s Day comes and jake shows up wearing brand new clothes, styled hair, a bouquet of flowers and the final poem for rich.

Christine was gonna be jake’s advisor(aka she helped proofread the poems because they’re both suckers for literature. Plus rich. He loves those poems. He’s gonna keep those forever and tease jake about it sometimes)

Just a fluffy fic for Valentine’s :)

Also i’m bad at poems so this might just end up embarrassing me and being a disappointment

Snippet:

Rich opens the letter, grins, tries not to laugh, laughs anyway and gets weird looks directed at him. But he doesn’t care. All that matters is the cheesy poem in his hands, signed “by your secret admirer” in cursive. “Secret admirer my ass,” Rich scoffs, still grinning stupidly.

He fucking loves Jake Dillinger so much.