#jake o’brien

[satans-trek]

Avery Brooks deliveries that make me smile every time single I think of them.

[hawkp]

Per my previous post, I’m just going absolutely bonkers thinking about the DS9 crew if they were swapped with Voyager. Can you imagine O’Brien having to deal with that engineering nightmare? Jake, Nog, and Molly growing up as the only kids on board (at first) and nog still pursuing Starfleet because he’s just so inspired by the officers day in and day out (Wesley Crusher). Kira as a Chakotay mirror for sooo many reasons. Jadzia having to come to terms with the fact that if she dies out there in the Delta Quadrant it’s the end of Dax. Bashir as a half-finished EMH only designed to go on short missions because the human Bashir was found out while Zimmerman was completing the program and having to learn how to be sociable/part of the crew by adopting their traits. Sisko still receiving his visions from the Prophets and having to make tough decisions based on them. Quark as an asshole version of Neelix. Odo searching for his people and, surprise, turns out he’s from the other side of the galaxy. Ahhhhh it’s all just delicious.

[elliewilliamsbitchh]

this acc died so fast…😭😭 send me some people and ideas and i’ll do them i swear 😔🙏

[azazelsazaleas]

I finished watching through DS9 a few weeks ago and I’ve been meaning to do a rundown of my thoughts on it. Here goes:

- Oh my god that was fantastic. I really wish it’s given it a fair shake back when it was on the air; I was a dumb teenager who resented it for not being TNG and was going through a weird self-loathing phase where I didn’t want to admit to myself that I was the massive nerd that I am. This seriously lived up to the hype. I may have to do a TNG rewatch because this might just have upstaged it as my favorite 90s Trek.

- Andrew Robinson should’ve been made a full cast member. Ditto Max Grodenchik and Aaron Eisenberg.

- Damar’s transmission at the end of The Changing Face of Evil lives rent-free in my head. I cheered out loud at that.

- One thing the show did fantastically that a lot of other SF/fantasy properties don’t quite get right is that it lands a pitch-perfect balance of “these characters are major, important figures in the larger multinational conflict” and “this conflict is absolutely massive and not everything revolves around the same small group of people.” The fact that Sisko, Worf, Kira, Odo, et al are so important is entirely plausible and it never feels like the writers are trying to gratuitously bring everything back to them.

- That said, I kind of love that Admiral Ross’s leadership approach during the Dominion War eventually consists of doing whatever the hell Sisko tells him to do.

- God, the acting was incredible. Andrew Robinson, Armin Shimerman, Nana Visitor, Marc Alaimo, and Louise Fletcher were real standouts, but everyone was just so damned good.

- Actually, I really need to give special mention to Shimerman. The man went above and beyond to make Quark be something more than a joke character, despite how obvious it was that basically the entire production team wanted him to just be cartoonish comic relief. He worked harder to flesh out his character and show his race as a race of *people* (not just caricatures) than just about any actor playing an alien on Star Trek before him except for maybe Nimoy. Give the man a goddamn Emmy. Don’t believe me? Go rewatch the iconic root beer scene from The Way of the Warrior.

That said: I do have a few criticisms:

- Pretty much all of the (canon) romantic subplots were just…yikes. The only major exception I can think of Sisko/Yates, where they actually seemed to have a healthy dynamic, fall legitimately in love with each other, and generally treat each other like adults in a serious relationship, not bickering teenagers.

- Seriously, Worf/Jadzia got so hard to watch and then the fallout with Ezri was just ugggghhhhhhhhh stop please for the love of god

- Why did the writers need to try to romantically pair off all the female characters? Just, why?

- Kira had more sexual tension with that Romulan lady in half an episode than she did with any of her bucket-of-paint boyfriends over the course of seven years.

- I totally get the behind-the-seasons reasons why things panned out the way they did, but (hot take) I think Dax’s whole arc would’ve worked better if they had killed Jadzia off after the first season or two and brought in Ezri earlier. Jadzia was fun, but she was just too perfect to get many interesting stories and her relationship with Worf felt too much like manufactured drama. Having a trill who didn’t want to be joined, agreed to in a life or death emergency situation, and now has to reckon not only with taking on this symbiotic relationship with no preparation whatsoever but also succeeding this beloved person in the eyes of her loved ones is such a better setup for a character and it’s a pity we didn’t get to see that play out properly.

- Sisko deserved a better conclusion to his story. Give the man his damned house on Bajor and let him raise his kid with Kasidy. He’s more than earned it.

- Next time I rewatch the series, I’m skipping the mirror universe episodes and the ones with the genetically enhanced walking-90s-neurodivergent-stereotypes.

Other random thoughts:

- Dukat’s storyline should’ve ended with him getting killed at the end of Waltz. Either by Sisko, or by deluding himself so thoroughly that he does something suicidal. The pah-wraiths subplot felt like a lazy afterthought (except for the episode where he pretends to be Bajoran and starts fucking Kai Winn) and as much as I liked watching Marc Alaimo act, his story arc was basically over at the end of Sacrifice of Angels….which, incidentally is when Damar actually starts to get interesting.

- I loved the O’Brien must suffer episodes but I thought Hard Time was kind of overrated. Mostly for the plot line with the cellmate; I think I’m a little burned out on seeing stories that have a moral of “deep inside us is a line between humanity and savagery and when pushed to the limit, even the best of us would turn to murder.” It’s been done to death, and it’s really not truthful, at least for many people.

- I think I may have a little bit of a crush on Major Kira. It would never work out if I met someone like that in real life, though. I’m a laid-back, atheist, creative type; she’s a deeply devout former insurgent. Given certain real-life crushes I’ve had recently; maybe I’m just into strong women with big, expressive eyes who wear their hearts on their sleeve and have a spine made of fuckin’ steel. I have no idea what this says about me.

- MORN

- Favorite Episodes: In the Pale Moonlight, The Visitor, Improbable Cause/The Die is Cast, In Purgatory’s Shadow/By Inferno’s Light, In the Cards, Duet, The Wire, Civil Defense, The Magnificent Ferengi, basically the entire Dominion War arc.

[celeb-as-fuck]

I’m not saying she should be, but someone mentioned Jake G., and I’m shocked his girlfriend hasn’t been more widely cancelled. I say widely because she’s a nobody model, so no one cares that much, but I saw some people upset with her. Her(his??) team also gets accounts deleted who talk about her past racism tho, so there’s that lol

Other celebs date/marry racist women too and their bigotry barely makes any noise. Their publicists definitely keep it under the radar.

[ghostlyfanparadise]

[tweetingukpolitics]

[lostyesterday]

I was curious about which Star Trek shows had the most human vs non-human characters, so I made this graph. I counted all major characters plus characters who were in at least 10 episodes of each respective show (with a few exceptions for incredibly minor characters who are technically in more than ten episodes but have barely any/no lines). A full list of characters included is below the cut.

TOS:

Part/Non-Human: Spock

Human: Kirk, Mccoy, Scotty, Uhura, Sulu, Chekov, Chapel

TNG:

Part/Non-Human: Data, Troi, Worf, Guinan

Human: Picard, Riker, La Forge, Crusher, Wesley, Yar, Pulaski, O’Brien, Ogawa

DS9:

Part/Non-Human: Kira, Odo, Quark, Jadzia, Rom, Nog, Garak, Dukat, Worf, Weyoun, Martok, Leeta, Ezri, Damar, Female Changeling, Winn

Human: Sisko, Bashir, Jake, O’Brien, Keiko, Kasidy, Ross

VOY:

Part/Non-Human: Torres, Neelix, EMH, Tuvok, Kes, Seven (part Borg counts as not entirely human to me), Seska, Naomi, Icheb

Human: Janeway, Chakotay, Paris, Kim

ENT:

Part/Non-Human: T’Pol, Phlox, Soval, Shran

Human: Archer, Reed, Tucker, Sato, Mayweather, Forrest

DIS:

Part/Non-Human: Saru, Tyler (debatable but I’m counting him as partly non-human), L’Rell, Book, T’Rina, Nhan, Rillak, Linus, Zora, Adira (again, debatable, but they’ve got a symbiont so they’re not entirely human to me), Gray

Human: Burnham, Stamets (complicated case but I counted him as still human), Tilly, Culber, Lorca (mirror universe characters are still human, I think), Georgiou, Detmer, Owosekun, Rhys, Bryce, Cornwell, Airiam (she’s still human), Pike, Jett, Nilsson, Pollard, Vance

PIC:

Part/Non-Human: Picard (for part of the show at least), Elnor, Soji, Narek, Seven, Laris/Talinn (I am just pretending they’re the same character for simplicity), Jack (I guess???)

Human: Musiker, Jurati, Rios, Adam, Riker, Crusher, Shaw, Sidney

LWD:

Part/Non-Human: Tendi, Shaxs, T’Ana, Barnes, Kayshon

Human: Mariner, Boimler, Rutherford, Freeman, Ransom, Billups

PRO:

Part/Non-Human: Dal, Gwyn, Zero, Rok-Tahk, Jankom, Murf, Hologram Janeway, Diviner, Drednok

SNW:

Part/Non-Human: Spock, Una, Hemmer

Human: Pike, La’an, Uhura, Chapel, M’Benga, Ortegas

[subatoism]

DS9 Characters as Shit My College Profs Have Said

Sisko: “Whatever, man. Some laws are meant to be broken.”

Kira: “We call this the Screaming Time. Because that is all you’ll want to do.”

Dax: “Isn’t that [image of mating leopard slugs] beautiful?? Someone should make this into an ornament — it would be a perfect gift for a biologist.”

Bashir: “So you should discuss philosophy, but don’t discuss it too much, because they will kill you for it.”

O’Brien: “It’s a very good book, and I would have assigned it, but uh,, I don’t want to cry in front of all of you. That would be embarrassing.”

Garak: “I’m rather fond of grand-matricide. In fact, I advocate for it.”

Quark: “Alchemy is like cryptocurrency for the Middle Ages.”

Rom: “What is this class called again?” (Survey of Major American Authors) “I don’t know what any of those words mean.”

Jake: “This isn’t work. I just walk in here, rant about whatever I’m thinking for an hour, and then leave. Ask anyone who’s run into me on the street; I do the exact same thing.”

[vasquez-rocks]

ds9 characters by how they would react to being deaged, as in the tng episode "rascals"

sisko: would be a little annoyed by it at first, but would kind of find it cute to get to have a more sibling-ish relationship with jake temporarily. family is the most important thing!

kira: like ensign ro, i think it would bring up memories of her awful childhood. unlike ensign ro, she was an actual terrorist as a child and her current effectiveness at her job depends on people knowing that she could just shoot them if they disappoint her, so i think she’d just keep pluggin’ away and then have one (1) devastating breakdown when she’s alone with odo about how her real childhood was stolen from her.

dax: would HATE IT SO MUCH. she likes her body! she likes being tall! all her favorite things (drinking, sex, gambling) are inaccessible to children! plus the worm wouldn’t shrink with her so it would probs be really uncomfy to have it in there! fix it! make it better!

odo: he would continue to look the same because his kind does not have childhoods. “are you all right, sir?” a security officer would say after he heard sobbing from inside the security office. “it is a… private matter,” odo would say.

bashir: depends if it reverts his genetic enhancements. if it does, he’ll have Feelings. if it doesn’t, he’ll probably just try and take advantage of his newfound flexibility to improve his tennis game.

o’brien: not thrilled, but this is just what happens to o’briens, isn’t it? keiko got turned into a child back on the enterprise, molly got turned into a feral adult by the time portal. it’s been years since he felt any regret about stealing that bread from the hag back in the old country. a bloodline curse is a bloodline curse. this will work itself out soon enough. at least it’s not another mind prison thingy

quark: nothing good

[andromedaexile]

If you were on the Defiant and you had the con. who are you giving the aux to?

[jonathanarcher]

Recasting ds9 characters with (semi) era appropriate action stars, the thrilling sequel to my tng post

Danny Glover as Benjamin Sisko

Michelle Yeoh as Kira Nerys

Geena Davis as Jadzia Dax

Pierce Brosnan as Miles O’Brien

Oded Fehr as Julian Bashir

Timothy Dalton as Odo

Mark Dacascos as Quark

Michael Jai White as Jake Sisko

Maggie Cheung as Keiko O’Brien

Milla Jovovich as Ezri Dax

[postmodern-blues]

A full live breakdown of my reaction and thoughts to the Variety interview because I feel like I’m going crazy.

- I fucking KNEW Reitman was going to reduce each cast member to one aspect of themselves. I FUCKING CALLED IT. Pretty sure I laid it out in a dm exchange with @mrs-jake-blues. Reitman, you goddamn bastard.

- “Like that Peter Jackson documentary about The Beatles- What was it like when certain songs were written?” Make a documentary then. What the fuck are you doing making a biopic style movie when you had access to all the people you wanted to interview. Tell the truth rather than making the story into a movie and the people into characters. I can’t tell you how excited I’d be if they were making a documentary about the first SNL episode.

- SO glad that Rosie Shuster’s actress got to speak with her directly. That is a comfort, in fairness.

- I’m still furious about who they picked for Gilda. Young hollywood beauty standards are a disease. They could have spent 2 extra minutes finding someone who was as interesting and distinctive as Gilda. someone jewish even

- “I wanted to talk to Lorne, but Jason didn’t think that was a good idea” what the fuck does that mean. Are you kidding me? Why??

- “The internet is very abundant” girl come ON

- “Oh, I didn’t have to meet him and I didn’t have to try and figure him out because he’s a different man” are you saying that people fundamentally and irreconcilably change as they grow older and more famous, retaining not even a spark of their former selves? Jesus Christ just one conversation man

- “One of the things that Jason was really clear about with us as soon as we got going was that we were trying to capture the spirit of this moment in time and the essence of these people at this moment in time” I don’t know man that just seems like a super weak excuse for why the still living members of the cast and crew weren’t more involved. Why does your movie have to be some kind of ultra special time capsule if the people it’s about didn’t really get a say in how they were portrayed?

- “We didn’t have to think about them ten years later or even think about them once they had been affected by fame” that would be much more interesting though. You know that, right? Because then you’d be forced to write and portray them as complex people rather than stock characters for your boy wonder self insert fantasy

- “We were representing them, not recreating them.” What???? It sounds like you’re doing the opposite, actually.

- “Being on set and seeing everybody in their wardrobe, it was like, oh my god these are like superheroes or like shakespearean characters that everyone is familiar with that we’re getting the honor to show our interpretation of” Okay if he’s talking about the actual CHARACTERS, like Emily Litella or the bees or whatever, FINE. But you can get the same thing just by putting on a conehead mask on halloween. But if he means the players?? Insane thing to say. They’re not characters, they’re people. Two of them died young. There is an excess of storytelling and mythology surrounding them, but they are in fact people. To call them characters and to claim you can have an “interpretation” on them is laughable. This is the kind of shit that gets biopics torn to shreds. You can’t just take the history of a living human person and reduce it to an acting exercise. You’re doing everyone a disservice.

- “Dylan’s voice is insane in this movie” Unbelievably offensive. At least I’m getting some confirmation that O’Brien is attempting a Canadian accent but girl wtf is wrong with you why would you say that? Dan Aykroyd actually sounds like that! It’s not insane; it’s his fucking voice! Christ alive

- “I did not do a lot” And there it fucking is folks. My worst nightmare made flesh. Every single fucking nitpicky thing I’ve said about this movie made manifest and validated in one little sentence. The guy playing the most interesting guy ever to grace showbusiness: Dan Aykroyd, who is a fascinating, multilayered, quirky, abundantly creative, unlikely genius, who has given us the greatest and most beloved films in the past century. He didn’t research to play that guy. I’m shaking with fury it’s just so unbelievable. And Reitman has a direct line of access to the actual living breathing human man! The man who, as author Daniel de Vise described, went so far as to offer the details of his route to school for de Vise’s newest book. Aykroyd would be willing to talk, I know it. Jesus H tap dancing christ I cannot even fucking believe it. Worst case scenario.

- “In that way, you followed Jason’s direction” die

- “The idea is to capture one piece of essence of the character. You can’t actually replicate a person.” Insane shit. I thought the idea was to capture a moment in time? This is just further solidifying my fervent belief that this could have been a documentary. A documentary can do WAY more and go WAY deeper than a movie with regard to historical stuff like this. ESPECIALLY when you have the people in question sit down and explain themselves. You can’t replicate a person, so why make them characters? Why not try your hand at documentary filmmaking instead of making this all about you, Reitman?

- “I was in terror that I’d ruin my career over trying to do this.” “Are you serious?” Okay at least Chevy’s actor gets what a big fucking task this is. Everyone else is acting like it’s no big deal to do no research and stumble your way through playing one of these people. At least he respects that this is a legacy worth PREPARING FOR

- “You spend a lot of time in this film watching these people not performing but living” GREAT POINT. ALMOST LIKE YOU SHOULD GET TO SPEAK WITH THE PERSON AND GET A SENSE OF THEIR VOICE AND MANNERISMS. HMMM

- I really respect Chevy’s actor right now actually. Not only did he go in depth with interviews trying to get a sense of Chevy as a person, but he actually seems to have picked up Chevy’s inflections and mannerisms and such in a way that is convincing. As someone who has watched a lot of Aykroyd interviews (as many as say someone playing him should) I can list specific vocal and physical habits of his for you in detail. I get the sense this guy could do that for chevy, that gives me a small sense of relief.

- Thank GOD Garrett’s actor got to speak with him. Garrett is fucking old, guys. Can you imagine if instead of a shitty poorly researched biopic starring bland young people, we could have an in depth and stylistically pleasant documentary starring all the still living people who were involved before a lot of them die?? Because remember most of them are in their 70s and 80s??

- If they make Garrett “the black one”… if they make his whole character about how he’s the only black guy. I’m literally gonna kill myself. Super inspiring guys. Great job. I don’t really have any reason to think they will but the way they talk about him just irks me slightly

- “He was going through a lot more than just having to perform” something you’d only know by talking to him, once again.

- “Jason was spot on with his writing” based on everything I have seen I am very much inclined to disagree. Jason doesn’t seem to give a shit about reality

- “The one thing I’m not going to do is I’m not going to watch any of the first season of SNL” from GILDA’S actress is CRAZY. How do you know what her characters and physical comedy are like then?? What the fuck that is so insane. Why would you do that??? My confidence in the quality of the Gilda performance just dropped back to zero.

- “Our dressing rooms were designed and catered for our characters’ personalities” weird as shit. Stop calling them characters.

- “There was this clip of Gilda that I had never seen before” Literally insane. Unfathomable.

- “Gilda was the fairy dust, Garrett was looking for his identity, Chevy is an ego that needs to be humbled, Aykroyd is this genius that’s like filtering a firehose through a straw, each one had like one thing to focus on that was their journey” Congratulations Mr. Reitman you’ve officially read the introductory paragraph of a 500 page book about SNL. Usually a sane person would finish that book before presuming to turn its subject into a movie. But fuck man whatever.

To be completely honest the thing that kills me is the smugness with which he delivers all of this. It’s like he feels entitled to this story because his late father was of the set that produced this era of comedy history. And Ghostbusters, I get. Ghostbusters is Ivan Reitman’s legacy, and it makes sense to pass it on to his son. I love the new Ghostbusters movies. But this is different, man. This isn’t yours. And everything about this interview and the promo just oozes with presumption. I truly believe that if he really gave a shit about telling this story in a way that was meaningful and paid hearty homage to the people involved, he’d make a damn good documentary. He has the connections to make it happen and the stylistic eye to make it memorable. It could be the next STEVE! (martin). But he chose to make a biopic comedy, and he chose to tell his actors not to research, not to speak with the subjects of their portrayals. And he seems to think it’s some kind of big flex that his actors don’t know shit about the 70 somethings they’re playing because “it’s just a moment in time”. Horseshit excuse, dude. This group of people matters to me. The complex dynamics and the internal grappling with fame and the comedic theses of each one (I mean, comedy MEANT something to Gilda Radner. She performed with purpose. To fail to watch the most famous examples of her prowess is absolutely inexcusable), it’s all important. And Reitman is acting like it’s not. All that’s important is that his name comes up in the same sentence as the legends he wishes he was. Fuck all the way off.

And seriously, I mean, I know I’ve been snarky about the Aykroyd portrayal without any real reason, given how little we’ve gotten of him, but the confirmation from the horse’s mouth that O’Brien barely did any research justifies all of it. Absolutely revolting development. My confidence in this movie (such as it was) has waned to absolute zero. I will not abide by this being how these people and this show are remembered. Congratulations, guys, you Bohemian Rhapsody’d one of the most important moments in comedy history. Exeunt.