#jas is there too but i dont have time to draw her in there i gotta go to bed

[miscellaneous--bones]

shane's 8 heart event

[for-gilded-cups-are-empty]

Katalepsis after live-read thoughts collection

So, now that im caught up about in time for book 1 to end, i am just regurgitating half-thoughts ive had along the ride, doing some retrospection and working my way through all the stuff i still want to draw.

I think thats one of the big things i really noticed and appreciated about katalepsis. Theres just drawability to it. I havent decided yet if its Hungrys writing style in general, the genre, or most likely, a characteristic of Heathers that got me to figure out i can use my laptop as a drawing tablet. Heather in her internal monologue just has a real appreciation for spaces.

A space is rarely a backdrop to do a scene in, the places and buildings and dimensions are characters to heather in a way that just makest a lot of sense for someone who grew up seeing the personified spirits of the everyday world as well as the varied wilds of Outside.

When the Stairwell trap is sprung, theres a very real feeling of betrayal, the willow house has forsaken raine and heather, who previously thought it a sanctuary.

We later learn that the space was bound, artificial, forced to act against its inhabitants in a way a house usually would not, which fits some themes that come up waaaaayy later.

I originally thought this would just be a quirk of heathers, some flavor to her thought processes, but it really did get picked up as an actual story beat, not just an aesthetic, with the soul of edward lilburnes house.

The Outside places are a bit more metaphorical about this, but strangely more clearly alive as well. The Library is an extension of the catalogue, wonderland is dominated by the eye. Ooran Juhs Projected space is his own physical gullet. Carcosa is the stage of a living play. The very first outside space we get to properly see is on the back of some giant creature, hairs and all.

Theres just Personality to every place that keeps them all so very, very vivid.

Ive been planning to draw wonderland ever since the mirror incident at the very beginning of the story, and in a very funny way, as ive drawn other stuff along the way ive been training for wonderland and the eye along with the cast. I really want to do it justice.

Staying on said cast for a bit, ive already talked about raine for a good bit, but theyre all amazing. I was always happy to see that an arc or a few chapters would become a cast members designated backstory time, because i really do want to know more about them and how they work as people. After about the middle point of the story though, those moments and how they connected became pretty hard for me to keep track off

For a reader who was along for the ride since the start, having to wait between chapters as they come out, the pacing probably works way better than it did for me.

I found myself really wishing for more time with the spookycule in each stage of development it had. Early katalepsis with just raine evee and heather is probably where it was the closest to ideal for me, in terms of just vibes i enjoy and things to keep track of.

I dont want to be too analytical, im bad at that, but for example we only see the fractal used to banish a sharrowford cult servitor once.

There could have been way more time spent in the twilight of magic, the street level zone, where every accidental slip outside is a moment of grand terror, and heather learns to live with the idea that the spirits are real.

For someone who gets called “Shaman” a lot later on, we only really see her asking a spirit for directions once (the wrecking ball hands gorilla), where i was expecting that to become a very integral bit of her kit as a character. I love the cephalopod changeling we got instead, but i do feel there could have been a heather who learned to work with her non brain pain vomit inducing abilities for practical reasons, at least for a little while.

After that comes the Messenger demon and maisies message. Knowing the rest of the story, i love that the primary motivation set up here has jack and shit to do with Ed or Alex. This isnt a story about killing the bad guy, its in a very serious way a story about love and that is what should motivate the characters.

Ed and Alex really are just invaders to the story, who grasp at threads that should not concern them at all, with their meddling eventually causing the collapse of Alexs portion of the cult under the Eyes gaze.

I dont quite know how much actual space is in between Kimberly and Zheng joining the household, but this is really the part of the story where just a lot happened at once. We get both badger and sarika, the entire abyss transformation and zheng so very close together.

During the time of the dead hands there is actually some breathing room though. Mostly because set dead hands keep us consigned to a breathable atmosphere for a bit.

The other big stretch of story that i wish lasted longer is the post proposal journey with sevens and saldis through carcosa. Given how time works outside, that whole stretch of time could have really stretched for a while without threatening the maisie limit, and i do wish that some of sevens later character development had happened in here, since i didnt quite know what to think of her after they left the palace, whereas right now in the end she is one of my favourites. I still dont know what i think of the king in yellow being in this story at all, but thats a me issue.

Yeah, so given that most of the smaller thoughts ive already posted in the liveread chat, i guess ive now covered my two big thoughts. I love how katalepsis treats spaces, and the only thing i had any problems with was the pacing, which tbh might just be because i didnt take my time when reading at all.

Time for even less structured thoughts now, just a rapid fire of things that come to mind after reading:

I hope we eventually get a perspective on the worlds cosmology from a mage fully unconnected to the vaguely interconnected british underworld of mages, im very curious how deeply different interpretations of outside, the abyss, demons and beyonders a person might have if they never interacted with the humunculus wars environment. The abyss beeing wet and aquatic seemed to be a general truth, to edward, zheng and even lozzie, until we met taika for example. I want to see more of that.

I said earlier that sevens has become one of my favourites, which is kinda stupid since most characters are my favourite at something by some measure, but Raine and Evee are still the two that are the most meaningful or connected to me. Ive already gone into maybe too much detail on how Raine just works in a way that ive never seen portrayed in anything for some reason. What i havent really realized until about now is how similar evees struggle is. There is that same need to feel useful. They both define their fundamental self via a skill that is in some way repulsive to them for whatever reason, and must cling to another to point them in a direction where they feel they can use it to do good. Evee has to feel useful, has to justify her presence and her dangerous knowledge to herself to some degree, and helping heather is how she does it for now.

The fundamental difference i think is that Raine chose to define herself that way, as knight errant, as supporter, while evee feels any other option to act on the world was taken from her by her mother. This mostly takes the form of her physical disability often stopping her from acting in time, reaching places, but also stopping her anorgasmia seemingly stopping her from loving in the way she thinks is correct (at that point of the story at least. Both of those are changing of course, mostly thanks to Praem).

It kind of lines up with Kimberly in a funky way, since she essentially decided not to use sorcery to justify her presence, both in the house and the story, but still remained around and appreciated, as a sort of in universe counterpoint to evees negative view of herself.

Thats all i can think of for now, i dont actually now how to end this, this isnt a sotry analysis, i have no conclusion except that im glad i caught up so close to the end, because im excited to see all of us react to whatever crazy shit is going down live!

[kurjakani]

Alright quick question..we have similar taste in fictional men and I’ve never watched Bleach before should I start it so I can obsess over Mayuri as well?

HMMMMMMMAH rly hard to tell. Ok sorry bleach fans i love u but im gonna shit talk this show a bit. Pls dont read if u cant handle me rambling abt my personal experience w a show meant for 15 year old boys. I actually love it deeply !!!!!!! I enjoy ir a lot!!!!! However. I really struggle w watching the show sometimes. Its over 300 eps + the movies which i havent even gotten started with. It's difficult bc theres a lot of cool moments too but good lird esp at tge start the fights consist of characters deciding that they have more soul power bc of some memory they had and beatinh eachother. Everyone is confident there is character variety but everyone is like supposed 2 be a huge badass and idk thats just not my type of media (which is why orihime is actually one of my favourite characters bc she stands in such contrast w her confidence issues and damseliness. Also Ishida i love Ishida i love his arc in the umm when they had the bounts and his self reflection about his inabilitu to help the others + hes always rly analytical in fights. Mayuri too bcs all of his power comes from thinking & experimenrting & PREPARADNESS. I dont remember him ever mentioning soul power bc hes like only talking about technique. Zaraki is also incrhesting bc he is overpowered, but to a point of ridiculousness and where he has an one punch man styled conflict w being unable 2 find someone he has fun fightinh w) i like casts full of losers and freaks. Talking of freaks Tite Kubo is one and will NOT stop making fucked up jokes, esp about girls. His humour is shit theres been like. One scene where i laughed out loud and it was bc ichigos dad pelted him w no mercy bc hes used 2 him being able to fight but ichigo was just tired and he flew thru the room thats fr the only time ive laughed. Theres a lot of rly dark topics also treated very lightly, including when it comes to Mayuri??? Esp his treatment of Nemu. As far as ive seen!!! The storyline has an interesting end in the manga tho and like it seems more thoughtful but ive yet to see that. But the treatment of Nemu as a prop to show how awful Mayuri is and to also be fanservice rly. It frusturates me. Theres so much like, interesting stuff you could do w her character. Again tho im at ep like 180 so maybe there will be!!!! For the good tho Tite Kubo has just. Theeee most incredible eye for character design in my eyes hes so fuckinh good its ridiculous. Even a lot of the side characters are mega memorable and its no wonder a lot of thr characters are absolutely iconic. Also the show definetly gets better the beginninh is just so. Slow. As u can prolly pick up from my earlier notes there are a couple characters that i fuxking loooove aside from Mayuri. As for mayuri he is fuckinh viile and they make some gross jokes abt him too but he is so. Ill b real hes just sexy and also transformation coded so. Literally childhood fave chinhands emoji idc. There also are some great interactions between characters!!! Thr main characters rly care abt eachothef and are so devoted 2 taking care of eachother and i think thats lovely. They can be cranky and mean but theyre always worried for eachother and rwady to help and i think thats just so sweet i like that dynamic. Sorry i di have more to say abt the show as u can see i have some big big emotions abt it and i care abt iy sm but it also often frusturates me deeply a lot of tje time. Its a show you endure. Thank god it jas a dub bc i am watcjing it while knitting / drawing etc.

[astraleras]

Well. It's 12:30 might make a post that's been simmering in my head for.... a hot minute

FFXIV x Guilty Gear AU, anyone? :3c

Currently I don't know how to plot this as its me just kicking my feet and giggling making designs for characters and fitting them into the world OK! Let us start with our party (Might not even be in the Seventh Astral/Umbral era!!)

I dont have much ANY tangible sketches for Sol but he's going to be a Xaela subspecies Au'Ra (Draconic features and that hourglass shape? Very Sol.) adventurer, who wields a Gunblade (making him a Gunbreaker!) He's not too far off Guilty Gear canon, most likely to be protagonist since references to the sun hahahah :) (Maybe Order Sol having the role that Ardbert had??!?!?!!?!?!)

Ky is an Ishgardian Elezen for sure, it just, works. And he fits being a Red Mage SOOOOO much (Lightning magic, cool sword/rapier and the acrobatics) The design below isn't set in stone it's just a maybe place holder, looks nice tho!!

Justice/Aria is also here. She is girlbossing so hard, I think she'll swap to Sage or maybe stay as a Paladin after her whole Justice alias is known since she can do that. Raen Au'Ra this time, so cool. I think Asuka might do his gay magic and muck up Arias memories (or not) Also design below woooo!!!

Axl, I am pushing the cat boy Axl agenda making him a Mi'qote, Seeker of the Sun since of course he is. BUT. He's a Reaper!!! His Voidsent is named Megumi hehehehe (Im so mean and cruel to him sorry Axl :() Also I-No is there too, she is a Miqo as well, but a Bard (They have the guitar from that one crossover, I think) look at how bad I am at drawing witch hats haha

Dizzy!! She's a mix between a Xaela and Raen Au'Ra!! Ponytail for the hair this time, she looks nice in a ponytail :) She fits being a SCH so, she be Scholaring woohoo!! The clothing is so badly drawn and just a place holder but you get the gist

This. This Venom design is so slay, he's a Viera AND a Dragoon, how homosexual of him!! I think the Assassin's guild would be up in Ishgard since maybe Slayer is Ishgardian, I don't know!! But look at this design, I'm so proud of my creativity (Should Robo-Ky be a dragon? Hmm....)

Asuka. Hyur, Midlander (since he's mid, KIDDING!!) Though, I might make him a Mi'qote later if I feel like it. He is a Summoner, he be summoning. That's it, it's an Asuka.

Raven :) there is no bird races in FFXIV. A pity. So, he's a Padjal, their cool and live for a while and I have a few Vieras already so ja. Black Mage since he is EVIL not really, just is good as magic and big ol robes, so swag.

Zato. Probably just going to make him a Hyur (Maybe Garlean???) since he is boring (affectionate) and he is a Dark Knight!!! I already have like two Reapers so yeah. Also big chunky armour, finally he isn't slutty lol.

THATS ALL THE PICS I GOT!!! HERES A LIST OF EACH CHARACTERS RACE AND JOB

Sin- Au'Ra/Elezen . Dragoon

Ramlethal - Mi'qote . Dark Knight

Elphelt - Viera . Machinist

Leo - Hrothgar . Paladin

Testament - Au'Ra . Reaper

Happy Chaos - Au'Ra . Machinist

May - Lalafell (From somewhere in Doma) . Warrior

Chipp - Mi'qote (Limsa, says he's from Kugane) . Ninja

Millia - Viera . Dancer

Johnny - Hyur . Samurai

Anji - Hyur (Doman) . Dancer

Jam - Hyur . Monk

Baiken - Hyur (Doman) . Samurai

Potemkin - Roegydn . Monk

Bridget - Viera . Astrologian

Nagoriyuki - Roegydn (somewhere from Othard, Gosetsu did it lol) . Samurai

A.B.A - Hyur . Warrior

Bedman - Lalafell . Summoner

Slayer - Elezen . Monk

Giovanna - Mi'qote . Monk

Goldlewis - Hyur (Highlander) . Warrior

Faust - Elezen . White Mage

Answer - Viera . Ninja

Yaaaay :)

[alice-dont-break]

i... dont really know how to introduce this one other than.. have fun ig? sorry! also for my mental health if you hate this please dont tell me lol ok bye

the accident | jas x reader blurb

cw: car accidents, drunk driving mention, grief, idk it’s just really depressing

Whimpers and babbled phrases screeched through the phone and tugged at all of Jasmine's heartstrings. "Babe? Babe, can you please slow down?" Her pleas fell on deaf ears, as your storm of cries without consonants rained down. The only loose words Jasmine could grab onto ignited the current flowing between the magnets in each of your chests, drawing you together with an unavoidable pull: "sister", "accident", and "hospital". Jasmine's lungs began to heave as she blinked away subconscious tears that she simply didn't have time for. She needed to get to you now.

When Jasmine burst through the threshold of the sterile hospital waiting room, her eyes locked on onto you - your tapping foot, your curls that cascaded down from where your head had been buried between your knees, the white knuckled hands you used to hug yourself that she now needed to replace with her own.

You couldn't see her though, not yet. Your eyes were too busy blinking away tears that now felt more like an annoyance than any expression of emotion, and memorizing every speckle on the vinyl floor. It wasn't until her hand warmed a patch of your middle back that the room outside of your plastic chair flooded back into existence. Your shoulder flinched for a moment, but the familiar scent of shea butter extinguished the flames on your nerve-endings before you could pull away. Your Jasmine was here now.

Vague murmurs filled the space between you, but your brain had no spare capacity to process them. Her words would be sweet, as they always were, but you couldn't quite reach them through the fog. Instead you focused on her hand; her outstretched fingers cradling your jaw while her thumb brushed across your cheek back and forth, perhaps to wipe away tears drops or perhaps just to give you some soft touch to contrast with every fist you felt barreling into your gut.

When the warmth on your cheek finally pried your eyes open, your downward gaze landed on Jasmine where she kneeled on the floor. Her tight frown relaxed into neutral with a tiny sigh; to call it relief would be too bullish, but it was something. "Hi, baby," she whispered.

Your lips parted, as you hoped the thunderstorm of emotions in your mind would simply fall out, but you had no such luck. You were silent, save for a strangled moan that told Jasmine everything that she already knew. Her thumb rubbed over your cheek, harder this time. She wasn't just soothing you, she was trying to communicate with the small gesture, saying something along the lines of "I'm here". Craving more of the only comfort your body could understand right now, you flopped your head to the side so Jasmine could bear the weight. As your eyes flickered shut so you could focus on soaking up all that warmth, Jasmine began to scan the room.

This waiting room was small, and only a couple other seats were occupied. Your parents weren't here. Just as she opened her mouth to ask if they were here somewhere, she remembered they couldn't be. You'd mentioned they were both out of town for business trips. You had been here alone.

A sign on the adjacent hallway read "Trauma Surgery Recovery Wing", which gave her another clue. Jasmine's was earnestly trying to put as many pieces together as possible to avoid asking you questions that you weren't in a state to answer. She hadn't realized you'd opened your eyes again, until a timid whimper escaped your lips to capture her attention. Your eyes fixed on hers as you tried to tell her what you needed, even though you yourself didn't know.

"Sweetheart, what can I do?" Jasmine's voice wavered though she fought the anxiety creeping up her throat. She needed to be strong to protect you, but she didn't know what she was up against. "Water? Or... or should I get a nurse to talk to us? Or -"

"Stay," you murmured, "please just stay with me."

With a quivering lip, Jasmine nodded and climbed onto the seat next to you. She never let her hand leave your knee until she was settled and pulling you into her chest, draping your legs over hers and rubbing her hands on your middle back.

The arm wrapped around your shoulders and the hands with a snug grip on your tricep and knee were your only tethers to reality. You were so lost, drowning in the tears that flooded your eyes though still refusing to fall, that you needed a reminder even just to breathe. Luckily, the tender press of Jasmine’s lips to your temple, repeating over and over at a steady rhythm, provided just that.

"I-it's going to be okay, babe, I d-don't know how, but I've got you," she whispered, nuzzling her cheek against the side of your head, "I've always got you."

Perhaps it was the solace you find in an embrace that felt like safety, or perhaps your body was just too weary to fight any longer, but regardless her words unleashed everything you'd been suppressing since you received that phone call from the police. Your sister's car was hit by a drunk driver, and now you were crying hysterically in your girlfriend's arms while your big sister, your role model, your best friend fought for her life in emergency surgery.

[sweetlittleboytoy]

A BNHA Mafia Au written by me and other people in my discord!

(This was my first real post so uh i hope you like??🥺🥺)

You run to the closest structure as the rain starts beat down on you harder. You safely make it under an awning and shiver....

Damn the rain and damn your lack of foresight. The clouds had been threatening to drench anyone who dares leave their home all day but since it had been mostly all bark, no bite you had decided to play chicken with them anyways. Oh well, worse things have happened. You look around, seeing the people passing with umbrellas. Footsteps closing in on you draw your attention and you turn your head. Another person, another victim of the rain.

You look up to see a man with red hair, shaking his head to rid himself of the water that had poured on him.

“What a day to forget an umbrella huh?' The man said suddenly, not really looking at you.

You nod for a moment, only to realize that he still wasn't looking at you, and you didn't want to seem rude,”Yeah, didn't think it would come down this hard.' You said back to him.

He finally looked at you, his red eyes almost sparkling in amusement, 'Funny thing is, I actually have an umbrella in my car!' he laughed.

“I mean I could invite you to tag along and get it! But I figured that'd probably be a... really really weird thing to say to a strangers...´ he continued and scratched the back of his neck.

You laugh too, nodding along to what he was saying 'yeah maybe, and we'd get drenched on the way there anyways.' you looked off towards the street again, smiling to yourself. He was cute. Real cute. And... just your type. Bumbling, excited and kinda quirky. Like your own personal sun on this rainy day.

“.Mmmh true. Well what were you doing? I mean... before it started raining?'"You look at the red haired stranger nervously,was the truth even an option here?”I was just exploring,”you say softly.He looks at you and absentminded,you shrink under his gaze.He smiles at you,”in the rain?”he says teasingly “and odd time to explore dont ya think”

Your face seems to flush in embarrassment, "Well, I guess you could say I'm new to this part of town... So I just thought I would take a good look around to familiarize myself." you admitted as you watched a car pass by, splashing a couple of puddles.

You leaned forward and looked up at the sky. "New to the area? I could show you around, ya know!" You could hear the excitement in his voice as a smile crossed your face again. You turned and looked at him and tucked your hair behind your ear, "You don't have to do that."

“Well what if I insist then? I mean, I couldn't possibly leave a lady like you in trouble! I take my title of hero very seriously you see.' As he said the last part he put his hand on his chest and gave you a small bow. You giggle at his actions, feeling a little more at ease. 'Hero huh?' you ask, putting a hand on your hip.

“That's what the kids at work call me, I'm a physical therapist with a main focus on working with kids. I don't work too far from here so I know my way around."

He stood tall and you're sure he puffed his chest out a little extra, proud of his work surely. Your heart melted a little at his bright smile. And as he smiled the rain started to calm to a soft dribble. You looked away and held out your hand to feel how bad the rain was. 'Well... what's my heroes name then? I can't let a stranger help me...'"

“It’s Eijirou Kirishima!”

He smirks and jokingly bows again,poking out his arm.”Away we go milady”.You take his arm,looking at him happily.”i never got your name”he says”i wouldn’t want you to continue to think of me as a stranger.”

You pause at the question,another worrying answer.You decide to trust him,”it’s y/n,my last names a little weird though”You say nervously.

“Nothing i couldn’t pronounce i bet”he teases.

“it’s uh..l/n”you say quietly.

“Wait like,the criminal?”He says in a joking manner.

You nod.”Family member,”you say to him softly.He shrugs and continues to walk with you”No biggie,i won’t judge you on that.My names Eijirou!Eijirou Kirishima” He says proudly.

“oh wait i already said that”he realizes. You laughed at his small mistake, "It's alright, now I won't forget your name." you walked arm and arm with Eijirou, letting him lead you around the new area.

"Thanks... by the way." You said suddenly, your voice shy now as you two walked together. "By not judging me for my family ties." You kept your gaze away from him as you took in the scenery, mentally taking in what was around you to remember for later.

Eijirou let out a small chuckle and rubbed the back of his head with his other hand, "You can't just judge someone by their family members, it's not fair." He said, putting his arm down and looking down at you.

"You seem like a really nice person Y/N, I couldn't think poorly of you."

"You let out a weak chuckle at his genuine comment. Its ironic how someone you just met sounded like he knew you so well. What he said made youre heart twist almost painfully. He didn't know you, you reminded yourself. You just met.

'Thank you but... Uhm I'm sorry Kirishima but... do you know where the next ward begins? I'll know where to go from there. Thank you for helping me, by the way.' You look up at him finally, smiling as to try to hide your true feelings. As you speak you also grab his left hand in both of yours, an attempt to have him not worry too much about why you seem so nervous.

Unbenknownst to him the border between this ward and the next is where you're hoping to findbyour brother. You knew there had been some problems expanding your familys teritory to span more wards, apparently you were creeping your way into som big shots place. You never approved of the stuff but when your brother were missing suddenly in the morning you pretty much knew where he'd be. “Yea of course y/n” he says to you.You can still hear worry present in his voice,but you can’t focus on that now.

“Give me your phone?”he asks softly,”i wanna make sure you get home safe.Bad stuff happens around here”

Ya don’t say?You think to yourself.

You hand him your phone and he adds in his contact,”I’ll text you in an hour,so i hope you answer” he says to you”

You nod and walk tothe direction he pointed in,and wave him goodbye,walking through the darkly coloured gate. You let out a breath, not that you really wanted to leave Eijirou's side, but more because you were alone. You looked down at your phone and almost had a burst of excitement, a giddy feeling, he had given you his number.

You really couldn't believe it, you cleared your throat and straightened up, unable to shake away this feeling, it was the happiest you had been in a while. You pushed forward and headed away from Eijirou and to look for your brother. The street you had been pointed to follow indeed took you to the next ward. Obviousy you wouldnt find your brother out on the open street. He may be bold but he wasnt stupid. Or... not that stupid. So you turned on a street, in on a backstreet that seemed promising. Dark and damp from the recent pour, and most importantly empty of people.

If your memory served your right then the new exapnsion should be somewhere here. Your brother had said they were making plans to make a hit on a warehouse owned by the other mafia so thats where you were headed. Doubts flooded your mind. Maybe you should just send Eijirou a text, meet him and have a nice rest of the day.

You realized that was too late when a gun shot echoed through the empty street. “What the fuck did i tell you would happen if i caught you here again?”You hear a voice yell.

You hide behind a wall,staying out of the view enough but still being able to see them.

A man with spiky blonde hair throws someone on the ground.

“Then you shouldn’t have-“

A gunshot thudded through the alleyway,and a scream of pain shot through.

You recognised it,your brother.

You saw blood spill onto the wall,an a shudder went through you.

“I spared you once,on account of your damn sister.Stop fucking testing me you shit.” The blonde says looking at your brother. Your throat felt like it had a knot form on it and panic start to kick in. You didn't know what to do soyou moved before you thought. Peeking around the corner you first saw your brother finally. He was on his knees, blood pooling around his right knee ashe clutched it. He was panting, struggling to form words through the pain.

Above him the blonde stood. A gun pointed towards your brothers head. He cocked the gun while tilting his head, letting you see his face better. His red eyes were focused on your sibling. "Got nothing to say, huh? Fucking thought so. C'mon, not even a last message I can deliver to your sister?"

Your breath caught in your throat as your brother started to speak again. "G... go fuck yourself, dont even think about talking to her you-you bastard!"The blonde smirks.

“I was hoping you’d say that”

You felt your legs about to move,and before you did a hand wrapped around you and pulled you back.Another hand covered your mouth,keeping you from audibly screaming.

You were pulled back through the gate,and you automatically turned at kicked your kidnapper.

“Y/n!Stop it’s just me!!”You hear.

Opening your eyes you see your best friend,Shoto Todoroki.

“Oh my god Toki,don’t sneak up on me like that.”You said hugging him.

Your eyes open wide at your memory,”My brother!We have to help him!”You say to him.

Shoto shakes his head,”i have that side already in motion,your brother will be okay i promise”He says to you.

You forgot that Shoto was a double side member.But you didn’t forget that he cared enough about you to leave his family.He cares so much about you and your brother he decided to take the task of double siding both dangerous gangs.Just for you two.

“He’s all i have toki ,”You whimper and cry into his shoulder.He pets the back of your head softly,”I know n/n,hell be okay”.

He puts his jacket on you,making you yet again aware of the pouring rain.

“Let’s get you home for now.Hell be there soon.”You follow him, hugging his jacket around your shoulders. He’s set a quick pace away from the alley—he can’t be seen with you, especially not by Bakugo, but you’re not entirely sure where he’s taking you.

You’re not sure how far away you’ve gotten when Todoroki turns a corner and the two of you enter a shop. Behind the counter sits a girl you recognize, Momo, one of your brother’s most trusted friends.

The two exchange a nod, and then Todoroki’s leaving with little more than a “Your brother will meet you at home” to say goodbye.

You almost want to keep him here, you never see him anymore, but you know someone’s more likely to notice his disappearance the longer he’s gone.

Momo draws your attention as she moves from her place behind the counter, productions two identical umbrellas from her arm as she does. She gives you a little smile, handing one to you. “C’mon. I’ll walk you home.”You take the umbrella from Momo and smile back at her, you were running into all sorts of friends around here. You walked next to Momo as you headed back home through back alleyways, your umbrellas open now since it had begun raining again.

You felt your phone vibrate and pulled it out of your pocket, slowing your walking speed to see that Eijirou had texted you, just like he promised.

You responded to him and let him know you were walking with a friend and you were on your way home now.

"Momo... do you think my brother is okay?" You asked nervously, shoving your phone back into your pocket. "Toki told me he was going to be okay... but that situation was rough."You nod slowly,attempting to process what she told you.

Your phone buzzes again.

“i meant to tell you y/n,your pretty cute when your hairs wet”

You smile to yourself,a bit more at ease and trying to ignore the present situation.

—

At home though,things were quiet.Too quiet.

The second you closed you door and Momo left you felt eyes on you.Yet you made no motions to give way of this knowledge.

You moved to the kitchen and pretended to start a meal,sneakily hiding an ice pick in your sleeve.

Your quirk was unknown to most people,aside from Shoto and your brother,every though you were quirkless.

Having a mental quirk type,helped a lot more than a physical one.

You felt the eyes move,still they thought they were out of your view,but you could feel their upcoming attempt to attack.

They jumped at you,and immediately you threw the ice pick toward them,it stabbing deep into their arm.

The flash of green hair moved into your vision,and you armed yourself with the gun your brother gifted you.He looks at you with an evil smirk

“We meet again my dear.”You wrinkle your nose at the term of endearment, but you don’t comment on it, keeping still with the barrel of the gun aimed at him.

He doesn’t break eye contact as he reaches towards the ice pick. You realize then, with disappointment, that it hadn’t really imbedded itself in his arm—it had grazed him, drawing blood, but ultimately found home in the wall behind him.

Pity. You wouldn’t miss next time.

Izuku tosses the pick to the floor towards you. It’s not aggressive, it’s almost friendly, but you don’t bother to pick it up.

He sighs, adjusting the jacket of the suit he’s wearing. “I’m not feeling very welcome, darling.”

“Might be because you’re not,” you reply smoothly. “My brother will be back any minute. Do yourself a favor and scram before he does.”Izuku looks at you,he looks like a snake going after a mouse.And you’re his prey.

You see the green emission of his quirk slowly seep through the room,and you prepare to itself for his attack.

The door slams open,and you both turn to the door,and he’s there.

The blonde from the alleyway,Bakugo Katsuki.The leader of the opposing mafia,Fiero.

“I see you started without me again,Deku,”he growls annoyed.

Izuku smiles to him and bows,”Hello,*Kacchan*,”he says to the blonde,”i was only starting to talk,nothing more”He says,bringing the green light back into himself.

“You better fucking have been.”

He walks to the couch and plops down,he takes a necklace out of his pocket and tosses it to you.As you catch it,you realize,it’s your brothers.

Tears in your eyes you looked at him”is he...is he dead?”Your heart thumped loudly.

Izuku walks beside Katsuki,kneeling on the floor beside him.Katsuki puts his hand into his green hair,slowly petting him.

“He’s alive,for now.”

For now?you think.

You put the necklace beside the matching one you wore,”Where is he?”

“With the half n half bastard.Rouging him up more”He says to you with a villainous smile.

[midnigtartist]

6. The super long kiss that wasn’t intended

He knows he should be watching the treeline. Sat beside Nott at the front of the cart, Molly knows that he ought to be scanning the tree line for any potential threats to their merry band as they weave their way through the valley. But he just can’t seem to get himself to focus on the slow passing trees as Nein marches southward. His gaze keeps slipping from the road, as he glanced over his shoulder at the wizard curled up in the back of the cart.

As to be expected, he’s got a book propped up in his lap. One of the spellbook he keeps strapped to his side, Molly notes, as he carefully and meticulously sifts through their recent spoils. The faint hum of arcane energy hangs in the air around him. It pricks at the back of Molly’s neck, making the hair there stand on edge and that’s why he’s been so distracted, and certainly not because Caleb looks so darling and content with his task, a small smile curling at the corner of his lips.

No, Molly thinks wryly to himself, it’s certainly nothing to do with that. Not at all.

He swings his legs over the side of the cart bench, earning and disgruntled yelp from Nott as she’s jostled by the movement. Molly ignores this, instead watching Caleb’s, dare he says, giddy smile as the pearl clasped tight in his hand dulls, and he picks up the bracelet he’s been inspecting. Sliding off the bench, Mollymauk seats himself cross legged at the perimeter of Caleb’s pile of spoils, resting his cheek to his fist.

“Anything interesting?”

Caleb starters, but only a little, his head jolting up and eyes blinking as he takes in the new addition to his ring of shiny things. Molly offers him a curling, close mouth smile in lue of a proper greeting.

Caleb nods, pulling at his beard. “Ja, this-” he gestured vaguely over the lot of stuff, a crooked grin on his face. “This ist gut. There is a lot a usefully things here.”

“Almost finished then?” Molly asks.

“Oh yah, I just have to look over these rings for Jester, you know, and then that will be all of it but ahhhh- you have come over here? Is- is there something you need?” the thrill the magic gives him, seems to bear wearing off and Molly can see Caleb slowly receding back into his shell. And that simply won’t do.

He shrugs “Not particularly. This is fascinating, by the way.”

Caleb lowers his gaze to his spellbook. He twiddles and twists the pearl between his fingers and Molly tracks the movement because that’s fascinating too. Caleb’s long fingers rolling the small bead between them is truly something and he can feel the slight flush crawling up his neck.

“You have seen me identify objects before,,,” Caleb mutters.

“And I find it thrilling every time!” he says. He leans forward so his elbows are pressed into his knees. “I think it’s just wonderful, that. How you can learn all of that stuff just from looking at it for a few minutes. It’s very impressive!”

Caleb shrugs, but Molly spies a phantom of a smile touching the corner of his mouth and he finds himself beaming all the wider for it.

“Well you know, there is a bit more to it then that but it is ahhh,, nerd shit.”

“What I’ve learned from traveling with the lot of you terrible people is that nerd shit tends to be the shit that keeps us alive. It’s very useful shit. Don’t sell your shit short Caleb, it’s very good shit! Quality, even.” he says. Somewhere to the right of him, he can hear Jester cackling. He keeps his eyes and his smile trained on Caleb, who’s actually turned a bit to face him.

“Ha ha.” it’s not a laugh, not really. It more just the noise, but it’s so endearing that Molly’s insides squirm with delight at the sound. “I suppose you are right- about that at least.”

“You’d be surprised by how much I’m right about, actually.” Molly says.

This time Caleb does laugh, even if all it is a huff of air. “Mister Mollymauk.”

“Mister Caleb”

The pearl rolls between his thumb and forefinger. “Would you like learn a magic trick? I, you know, I have tried teaching Jester before, and umm, Beauregard but, they don’t, well, they really do not have the patience for this sort of thing.”

He cocks his head to the side. “And you think I do?”

“I have seen you mend your coat.” Caleb says, actually leveling his clear blue gaze on Molly, effectively pinning him in place. “That embroidery is your handy work, hmm? Something like that takes a lot of time.”

Molly draws back so that he’s sitting up straight. “Well as flattering as it is to know you keep eye on me.” Caleb flushes. “-I don’t think I’m quite clever enough to do what it is you do dear.”

Magic, at least, the magic Caleb does, seems to require a lot of reading, and reading has never really agreed with Mollymauk Tealeaf. It makes his eyes hurt and his whole brain revolt against him, can even give him a terrible headache if he forces himself to work at it for too long.

Caleb’s brows draw together, forming deep creases between his eyes. “It is not that hard.” he says.

Molly flashes him a tight smile. “Yes, but I’m not that smart.”

The wizard shuts his spellbook with a forceful snap that makes Molly’s tail jump and curl up behind him. “Come here, Mollymauk.” Caleb says, commands really, Molly thinks with a shiver. “I will not force you, if you do not wish, but do not withhold just because you think that you might not be clever enough. I will be the judge of that.”

“Well when you put it so nicely,,,” Molly says, praying to the Weaver that he sound relatively unaffected by whatever that was. He slides over so that he’s sitting next to Caleb, instead of across from him. “So, what will I be learning then?”

Caleb hesitates, but only for a moment before he opens his book back up, and shuffles over so that Molly can see the pages, balancing it on his knee.

“Something simple, I think.”

“Oh goody.”

Even the creak of the branches in the wind sounds ominous, which Molly thinks is rather ridiculous and painfully cliche. His blade, glowing with a warm, white light, is wrapped up in the tails of his coat to dull it’s radiance as Molly creeps along low in the brush. The Nein had decided, against Molly’s better judgement, decided to travel a few hours past sunset.

“The next town isn’t that far, guys.” Jester had told them, brandishing the map with the same ferocity with which she handles her sickle. “We’ve been on the road for daaaaaaaaaaays and my feet are getting all tired and gross from walking so much and I just want to sleep in a bed and not in the grass and wake up with like, bugs in my hair and stuff.”

So they’d marched on, and now they’re paying the price because not only is it a good couple of hour past sunset, but they’d been assaulted by some ruffians. Taking advantage of the exhausted state of the party, they’d managed to stop them, rob them, and make off with Jester’s haversack of holding. With so much of their valuable shit in that bag, they’d decided to give chase, and had gotten spread pretty thin in the processes. Which, isn’t such a bad thing, Molly’d been able to pick off a few of the bandits, spread thin themselves, quickly and quietly. But he’s worried about everyone else. If they were unlucky enough to run into more of the bastards then they could handle alone, with Jester possible very, very far away. That could make things a bit more sticky.

Of course, they’re all pretty capable, decently strong. And yet,,, Molly’s worried about some, specifically squishy members of their party.

He’ll- they’ll be fine.

He marches on deeper into the woods.

A bit of time later, the sound of muffled voices hit Molly’s ears. Not long after does he spy the flicker of firelight through the leaves, painting speckled shadows along forest floor.

Molly pauses a moment, tucking himself against a rotting old tree trunk. Peeking over the top of it he can just barely make out a group of darkened figured, hooting and hollering like idiots around a makeshift camp. Why do petty thieves always do that? Make a whole fucking ton of noise that gives away their position. Every single band of thieves he’s ever run into does it. It’s just not smart. Though, if they were smart enough to understand that they probably wouldn’t be out here robbing well seasoned mercenary groups, he thinks. He counts the shadows, or at least he tries to. The back lighting from the fire is fucking up his night vision but he thinks he sees four or five distinct individuals. Too many to take out alone.

Reaching into his pocket with his free hand, he pulls out a little piece of wire. Its difficult, harder with only one hand, but he manages to wrap the bit of copper around his finger and brings it up to his lips. He points out into the woods in the general direction he thinks he saw people running. “Found a group of them. Looks like five maybe? North. Just past that one rock that looks remarkably like a penis. Oh ! and you can reply to this message” he whispers into his fist.

Molly does this eight more time, hoping that if he casts a wide enough net he’ll be able to get in touch with at least some of the Nein. Between not knowing exactly where everyone is and the, frankly concerning, fizzle of the spell against his lips he not sure how many of them got the message. On the fourth time, he hears Jester’s cackling rattling around in his skull. It’s a horrible bizarre feeling that makes his skin tingle,and not even in the fun way.  On the sixth one he hears Beau’s exasperated “real fucking mature, man” and has to stifle a chuckle. On the last one, it’s Caleb’s voice ringing around in his skull.

“I see the rock you are talking about. oh- ja it does look like a dick.” He says. “I am making my way over to you now.”

Molly waits, one eye on the trees around him, one on the group of bandits, watching for any strange movement. Maybe one of them will come over here to take a piss. He could take them out nice and quite, and that would be one less shit head to deal with.

The bushes to his right rustle and Molly tightens his grip on his sword. Caleb comes sprinting out of the underbrush towards him, crouched low to the ground to avoid being spotted. Molly can’t even even get a word of greeting out before Caleb is suddenly upon him, hands reaching to curl around the lapel of his coat.

The wizard is positively beaming at him, his face cracked with a wide smile Molly has only ever seen him give Nott. His eyes are practically glowing, wide and excited and full of pride. He’s on Molly in an instant huddled against the rotten log alongside him and Molly is stunned.

“You cast message!” Caleb says, barely able to keep his voice to a stage whisper for the excitement. His hands come up, cupping Molly’s face between them and immediately the teifling feels himself start to color. Thumbs rub over his cheeks, Caleb squishing his face between his calloused palms “You cast the spell, you did the thing that I showed you! Oh! I am so proud! I am so proud of you! You are brilliant Mollymauk. I could kiss you!”

Well, that makes Molly’s heart do all sorts of ill advised and complicated gymnastics in his chest.

He puts a shaking hand on Caleb’s knee. “Don’t say thing you don’t intent to follow through on, Mister Caleb.”

Brain seeming to have caught up with his mouth, Caleb pales, then flushes a deep scarlet. His hand stay cupped around Molly’s cheeks, though they do lessen they’re squeezing a bit. His gaze falls past Molly’s right shoulder. “I ahh- right. I was- well I got a little excited I suppose,,,”

“Happens to the best of us.” he gives Caleb leg a friendly jiggle “Your secret’s safe with me”

Caleb chuckles.

They don’t move. They’re still dreadfully, painfully close. Annoyingly, not close enough. He watches as Caleb’s gaze flickers back over to his face. Watches the way his sharp, ever curious blue eyes trace the curve of his palm where it’s pressed into Molly cheek, all the way down to the corner of his mouth. He leans in.

The center of gravity suddenly shifts and Mollymauk Tealeaf finds himself crashing against Caleb’s warm mouth. Its quick, but it’s everything.

Caleb presses his lips firmly to Mollymauk’s for a brief moment, pulling him in with the fingers still curved around his jaw. Molly gasps, fingers tightening around the fabric of Caleb’s pant leg. He lets his eyes flutter shut. And then the warmth is gone and Molly opens his eyes to see the wizard staring at him, wide eyed and flushed. Still his hands don’t move from Molly’s face.

“I should not have done that. I-”

Molly brings his other hand up to the back of Caleb’s neck and pulls him forward. Their lips meet again and Molly can taste the crackle of arcane power that lingers on them. It shoots a thrill down his spine. The hand on Caleb’s knee tangles into the coarse fur lining of his coat and Molly sigh, deep and wanting against the other man’s mouth.

To his glorious surprise, Caleb responds in kind. His hands begin to move, one sliding down his face to rest at the juncture of his neck and shoulder, those long, scholarly fingers spanning across his throat, making Molly shiver. The other tangles into the short curls at the back of his neck, drawing Molly even closer.

Molly breaths through the kiss, eyes shut tight as he focuses on the feeling. Of dry and ragged ruined lips against his own. On the slight scratch of stubble against his chin and the rough pads of Caleb’s fingers on his skin. He feels exactly like he looks, coarse and rough around the edges. Nothing like the soft, sweet smelling hired company that Molly’s used to. He finds he likes this much better. The earthy smell that clings to weather battered skin, mixed in with faint hints of whatever spell components line Caleb’s pockets. Licorice and molasses.

Caleb sighs against him, tilting his head for a better angle.  Molly puts all other thoughts out of his head. Forgets about the bandits at his back, and his friends stomping through the underbrush. Even forgets about their stole bag of good. He put his facilities to better use, memorizing the shape and heat of Caleb’s lips against his own

Molly parts his lips and prods at Caleb’s lower lip with the twin prongs of his forked tongue, makes a soft sound of pleasure as Caleb’s fingers tighten in his hair. Caleb jumps under his hands, pulling away. He desperately wants to follow, but Molly let him go, keeping fingers folded against the lapels of his coat, half  to keep himself grounded, half to keep Caleb from bolting before he can find his voice again.

“Don’t you dare apologize for that.” He crooks out after a moment.

Caleb stares at him with blown out blue eyes. He swallows, runs a hand across his jaw. His fingers linger against his lips. “Ja- okay,,, That was ahhh-”

“That was good.” Molly assures him, stroking fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck.

Caleb nods, looking a little unsure. “Gut, ja. You know, uhh maybe we should- should, you know- maybe we could do that again, sometime. But I think we should probably take care of those bandits first.”

A smile splits Molly’s face. “Think we can take them, just the two of us?

“No.” Caleb hands come back around to cup his cheeks, then slip down, coming  to rest against the front of Molly’s coat “We are pretty tough, but you said that there were at least five of them. I do not want us taking any unnecessary risks.” he starts fidgeting with Molly’s coat, adjusting it on his shoulder and smoothing out the silk with his hands. “Clever boy.” Molly says, fondness laced into his words.

Caleb doesn’t meet his gaze, but he does smile.

The sound of twigs snapping catch their attention and moments later Beau comes slinking out of the bushes, a new bruise swelling up over her eye. Caleb hands fall away. Molly keeps fingers pressed lightly against the side of his knee.

“That’s a good look on you.” he says, once Beau is close enough.

“Thanks asshole.” Beau wedges her way between the two of them, elbowing Molly in the stomach as she does. ��

He whizzes out a pained laugh.

[noroalia]

Hello there!! Im not sure if you'll respond (you dont have to) but I would love to listen to some more of your (ted-talks) headcanons! If you have any balloon or tacocaseloon (or however you say it I forgot) it would bring a smile to my face! I really enjoy being able to listen to you! I think you are very creative and have lots of good ideas! (I also love your art btw) hope you have a good day madam!

what if suitcase had two partners? hi, my name is noro, and in this essay i will….

Balloon focused ones:- Human Balloon paints his nails; usually they end up being red, or he color matches them to fit his outfit. He stopped during II, but once he got eliminated in s2, he got back into it (mainly because Soap likes painting hers too, and she was one of the first to accept him back into the bunch).- He really enjoys painting! He prefers drawing abstract stuff, helps him get the feelings out. OJ has some of them framed in the lounging area of the hotel.- Balloon definitely watched M-L-P at some point. - Rain-bow Da-sh was probably his favorite, let’s be honest here. Twi was probably very high up, too.- He mains the object equivalent of Yo-shi and Ice Cli-mbe-rs in (the object equivalent of) Sma-sh Br-os.- He’s not very good at it, however. But honestly who is nowadays- He listens to Ja-ck Stau-ber, but only his albums and not his micropops. He especially enjoys listening to them while painting, just puts him in the right mood.- Paintbrush does the same thing, and their mutual enjoyment of painting and listening to Jack is what broke the “season 1″ barrier between them when Paintbrush got eliminated.- He’s trans! He’s unsure of his sexuality, but he gets crushes left and right and gender never really matters to him.

Tacocaseloon (i don’t remember either, honestly) focused ones:- Suitcase is shorter than both of her partners, and continuously steals their clothes.- Balloon and Taco aren’t dating, but they grow pretty darn close over their shared love for Suitcase (and in the future, their kids).- RB is made from Balloons material while Lettuce is made from Taco’s salad leaves. - Taco and Balloon initially bonded over the fact that neither of them were trusted by their fellow housemates in the hotel. Taco took longer to warm up though.- Taco likes hiding in the vents and on top of high places, which scares the living heck out of both Suitcase and Balloon.- She had to stop doing it when Balloon started popping.- Suitcase’s family gatherings are wild. Taco has disconnected fully from her blood family, and Balloon only has his parents, so visiting Suitcase’s family (The Pals, plus Ace’s siblings and parent- sometimes even Knife’s family, since her dads are close to them too) for things like Hanukkah is wild.- Doesn’t help that Taco knew them since before she met Suitcase. Ace tells Balloon and Suitcase a lot of embarrassing stories about Taco from back when she was in the gang, and it’s great.- Taco is always the one who gets handed the check when they’re out dating. Powermove by the waiters, y’know.- Suitcase and Balloon are both very physical when it comes to affection, while Taco isn’t. That isn’t to say she doesn’t have her moments, especially in private, but Balloon and Suitcase are much more likely to be publicly affectionate.- Suitcase and Taco started dating first, but then Balloon joined in the mix when he confessed to Suitcase.- Taco drinks at least 14 cups of coffee in the mornings, and then like 21 cups of tea, and both Suitcase and Balloon are always equally as surprised.- Taco always wakes up first (old spy hobbies; she can’t sleep comfortably most of the time), with Balloon last. Usually they all stay in bed until everyone has woken up, partly because Balloon is a light sleeper and wakes up if he’s stirred.- Plus they all enjoy the warmth and intimacy.

(hope this was okay!!!!)

[contre-qui-rose]

n/s/f/w

i dont know how to write,,, smut,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, but.

tw for knifeplay, safewording, mild flashback

“Bren.”

Eodwulf’s voice echoes in the room as he palms a hand across his face, cupping the side of it and rubbing a soft line against his cheek bone.

He leans into the touch, and Wulf pulls back.

“Now, schatz – are you going to be good?”

He blinks up at him, time soft between his fingers.

Eodwulf taps, twice, against his cheek, and he hums.

“You want to be good, don’t you, Bren. Be so good, good for us, hm?”

Wulf’s smiling.

The smile turns sharper as he turns the blade over in his hands.

“Astrid, are you ready yet?”

She had drawn a curtain across the room. Gauzy fabric that he could push through with a gust, if he had use of his hands.

He doesn’t.

That’s part of this.

“Wulf, darling, stop being so impatient. We do have all night, ja?”

The curtain is tugged aside, and he drinks in the sight of her.

Her daggers are sheathed at her sides, supple leather draped across her thighs, her shift ending barely an inch below the handles.

She smiles at him with too many teeth, and her eyes are sharper than Eodwulf’s.

He swallows past the fondness in his throat.

Astrid creeps closer, and she draws a dagger out in a fluid motion.

It’s not one of her normal ones.

This one is sharper. More controlled.

Less poisoned, essentially.

There’s the feather-light touch of the blade, along his bare knee, and he stiffens in the chair.

He’s not restrained, not really. He’s holding his hands behind his back, in a position that’s comfortable for his shoulders.

The only pain he feels right now is the beginnings of an ache from where he’s kneeling on the cushion Wulf had laid out, earlier.

That’s going to change.

Astrid scratches a line across his thigh. It doesn’t even draw blood, but it stings.

This is control, and letting them have it.

Giving up, in a sense.

Letting go.

Astrid draws a few more lines across his thighs, and he flinches imperceptibly at the light touch of the blade as it passes, each line stinging in the cooler air of the room.

She stops, and lays her hand across his thigh.

He sucks in a breath as the pain intensifies, and she smiles up at him, eyes hooded.

Eodwulf, behind him now, murmurs, “Color?” into his ear.

“Grun.”

Eodwulf’s breath blossoms in a shell of warmth over his ear, and he shivers.

Immediately, Astrid’s hands pause with the knife, and she raises her eyebrow, tucking a flyaway hair from her forehead with an absent motion.

“What,” she says, eyes dark, “Did we say about moving?”

She puts the flat side of the dagger against his cheek – she’s careful, but the hint of pain is still there, and he stills.

She pats the side of his face.

“Good, Bren.”

His name on her tongue is something precious.

She shifts around to his back, and the grip he has on where he’s holding his left wrist behind him tightens, almost involuntarily.

She traces a line of controlled fire across his back, and he feels a bead of blood start to trail down as she nicks over one of his scars.

She doesn’t stop, because he doesn’t react, and another line blooms into being under that one.

Wulf kneels in front of him, palming himself through his smallclothes, and smiles, beautiful and bright against the pain he’s starting to slip into like a well-worn jacket.

“I wish you could see yourself, Bren. Hurting and pretty. Ours.”

He grins a little wider.

“So good for us, Bren.”

His eyelids flutter, and his grip tightens even more as Astrid switches, suddenly, from the biting edge of the blade to the dull one, tracing soft swirls around the scratches on his back.

He’s halfway to hard, now, and Eodwulf eyes him.

He hisses as another line of pain comes into light on his back, and after a moment there are Astrid’s fingers, dry and rough, tracing around it.

He wants to –

Compared to what he’s been through before, this pain is nothing. Like stepping into a bramble patch without long pants, like closing his fingers around hidden thorns.

But at this moment –

Astrid tracing lines of blood across his back. Eodwulf staring at him, drinking in the sight of him, words of praise and excitement and anticipation building a castle in his mouth – it’s –

He breathes in, solid and then shaky on the exhale.

As Astrid’s dagger catches on another one of his scars, for a second –

For a second, it’s too much, and he’s not here.

Not here with his partners, and their praise –

The drifting he was starting to settle into snaps into sickening clarity, and he drops his hands, fingers coming up to move in jerky movements in his lap as he chokes on another breath.

Eodwulf, across, from him, snaps out, “Rot,” but the knife is already out of Astrid’s hands, placed against the side table as she moves to the front, slipping in front of him to kneel down next to Eodwulf, hands raised, palms empty and pointed towards the sky.

He stares at them, eyes wild, and then closes his eyes, curling in on himself.

Stupid.

He can’t even – can’t even do this, can’t even be good for them, all he’s ever been is bad and that’s what he’s being now –

He chokes on another breath and blinks his eyes open, swaying on the spot as he lets the adrenaline drain out of him.

Astrid’s hands are there, immediate, and she steadies him as dizziness threatens to send him tumbling to the floor.

Astrid’s hand settles against his cheek again and he leans into it, breath slowing.

“Sorry,” he mutters, and Astrid taps him reproachfully on his cheek.

“You don’t need to apologize, liebling, you did nothing wrong. So good for us –“

She wraps an arm around his shoulders, and tugs him gently towards the bed, getting him up and nestled in the mess of blankets, Wulf trailing after her.

She holds out a hand, and Wulf hands her a minor healing potion without her having to ask.

“Do you want the potion?”

He shakes his head, and then hesitates.

Now that he’s calmer, the pain is negligible, but –

“You can say yes, Bren. It’s not an issue.”

He’d rather it not – rather them be gone, than have to deal with it later.

He puts his palm out, and Astrid carefully hands him the already uncorked vial.

It tastes like shit, but most healing potions do, and he sighs as he feels the cuts close on his thigh and back.

Wulf cuddles up next to him, and takes the vial, placing it on the side table.

Astrid scratches a hand through his hair, and he gives her a low hum.

“So,” she half-whispers, “Not that, then.”

“I’m sorry,” he starts, and Eodwulf taps his knee.

He rolls his eyes, still panicky, but calmer now, surrounded by the warmth of his partners on all sides.

“It was just – you nicked one of the scars from before, and the combination of that, and the kneeling, and – it was just too similar.”

Astrid places a gentle kiss on his hair, and he sighs again.

“I didn’t consider that. I should have –“

“It’s fine, Astrid. I thought I was going to be good.”

He nestles in a little closer to her, and Wulf shifts even closer to accommodate the movement.

“Not your fault,” he murmurs, and he closes his eyes, relaxing and safe in their embrace.

Maybe something else, next time.

Maybe – without the knives.

They, all three of them, probably have enough scars.

“Talk about it in a bit?” Eodwulf suggests, and he and Astrid hum an affirmative almost in unison.

It’s warm.

The bed is soft.

And they’re together, and they’re safe, and he loves them.

Broken edges and all.

[jaxcns]

y’all know this mans? yuh.. really gets ya thinkin that men might deserve rights after all huh? i mean they dont but it makes ya think! anyway.. i’m urayai ( uri for short ), eighteen, she/her, and from bumfuck nowhere usa over in the est timezone. we livin in a winter wonderland over here rn issa nightmare :) if ya feelin the vibe now then check out my statistics page yuh maybe i went the extra mile MXDDDN! anyway if ya poppin ya p*ssi to nct, love wastin time playin the sims, or are prayin for both taes scalps then smash that heart! we need validation in order to live in this economy laid ease!

basic details

( wong yukhei, cismale, he/him ) — meet jaxon wu, the nineteen year old sophomore at washington state university. i heard that the hedonist is a literature major who spends most of their time either practicing on the soccer field or interning at dorrance publishing two days a week. if you ask around, you’ll find out that the scorpio was born on october 28th, that the last song they listened to was uncomfortable by chase atlantic, and that they currently live in the kappa zeta nu fraternity house. ever since the death of carter hayes though, the only thing anyone can seem to recall when it comes to them is that they used to share a room with him at the frat house.

+ smoke-filled lungs, constellations in his eyes, denim jackets, disappearing acts that rival houdini, heart-shaped boxes, thumb rings, lazy grins, broken promises, and rainy mornings.

full sleeve on his right arm plus a chest piece in progress

ears and nose pierced but he doesnt always rock the nose

emotionally stable? no. financially stable? also no.

on an athletic scholarship for soccer but he loves hockey more so its #emohours

plays soccer, hockey, and baseball

loves the finer things in life but can barely afford the free breadsticks at olive garden ja feel

hes a snake who loves that 5 finger discount

selfish but also too invested in people he cares for

impatient as hell like.. chile

middle child ya he was dealt only the best cards in life

loves space and conspiracy theories #wow so original amirite

gets super obsessive over projects hes def a perfectionist

bisexual / bitter / bilingual

mom is a bank tell and dad is a professor at boston u

not very close to his older brother since hes off gettin his doctorates degree

very close to his little sister tho they’ve always been best friends

enjoys goin on hikes to clear his head

other than writing he also enjoys all other things creative like painting, drawing, sculpting, photography, etc

he attends a weekly art class in the city

he def dabbles in drugs so if ya lookin he can probs hook ya up

he was carters roommate 

ADAMANT — stubborn as shitttttt like fr. once he sets his mind on sumn and believes hes completely right cant be wrong then theres no changin his mind! at all! even if he realizes later that he was wrong he’d rather lower himself into the grave than admit it. he’ll also argue with you til the ends of the earth until the bitch literally dont have vocal chords anymore!

CONFIDENT — if i could’ve picked an alternate label for him then it woulda been the bellwether. he always carries himself with confidence which he gets from wearin nice clothes and accessories plus always bein well groomed ig? like his hair is always done, you’ll never find a speck of dirt on his shoes, that type of shit. even when his hair is messy it was done that way he would never go outside lookin like a wreck so jot that down!

IMPETUOUS — this bitch reckless af! he does things to benefit himself and only himself most of the time without taking into consideration other peoples feelings or how it might impact them. thats not to say that he doesnt regret it after the fact but lbr he normally? doesnt? see: selfish. hes just tryna get ahead tryna get dat coin tryna get him sum gucci slides!

PETULANT — sulky, bad-tempered, etc is jax thru and thru! and he aint afraid to take everyone down with him either. hes def the type to stir up drama ngl but he’ll back it up too and he aint afraid to throw hands! hes been in his fair share of fights and with his shiny new fake id y’all been knew hes been in more than one bar fight with more to come i’m sure!

plot ideas

MUSE — pretty self explanatory i think? this person just ignites fuckin inspiration for him whether it be thru takin pictures of them, writing about them, filmin them, drawin them, etc etc. jax always knows that when hes in a slump he can find them and that shit will come back as quick as flippin on a light switch!

RIDE OR DIE(S) — y’all already know wtf it is! we love those friends who just talk shit with each other, those that’ll go to bat for one another, but also arent afraid to be like “yo step back ur gettin a lil outta line” ja feel? literally gimme all that!

ANGST — i live for anything angsty tbh like im one of those bitches that gets bored when things are goin too well for my chara so i need someone to fuck that shit up fam!

RELATIONSHIPS — im here for it all! im talkin enemies, friends, rommates, party buddies, smokin buddies, fwb, exes, partners in crime, etc etc! im here and ready to snatch em all up!

TEAMMATES — jax plays hockey, soccer, and baseball so if ur chara does too then? uhhhh we def gotta plot cause we could go any way with the teammates thing like imagine teammates who hate each other and purposely try to hurt one another durin practices.. ugh we love pettiness!

ADVENTURE BUDDIES — hiking, goin to abandoned / haunted places, spontaneous road trips, etc! need someone or multiple people who’re down to just drop everything and go. doesnt even matter where tbh they’re just always up for a lil adventure.

SEESAW — lemme be basic for a sec ok just hol on! i rlly want a plot based off of yoongis song seesaw where maybe the two of them were together and at first it was great but then they just fell out for wtvr reason and obvs didnt wanna be together anymore. neither of them wanted to let go tho maybe it was like a comfort thing? so they just kept repeatin their same old shit and actin like everything was cool until one of them finally took the step and ended it just.. ik there’d be angst ik it and i need it!

PARADISE — the new song by chase atlantic! bitch! i felt it in my soul maybe i cried? jax dabbles in literally everything hes truly a mess so havin someone who just checks on him would rip my soul in half? someone who gives him a call randomly in the middle of a sunday night and is just like “hey ya been ok? not fallin back on bad habits are u?” shit like that. it would def be a thing where he falls a lil bit in love with them because its smth hes not used to tho that def doesnt mean at all that they feel that way about him! it can unrequited i dont rlly care tbh.

ik i forgot sum shit and ik this is a damn m e s s but if ya wanna plot then just lms and i’ll hit ya up! we can brainstorm or pick from one of our wcs idc just give this h*e sum plots i’ll literally die without em? im def the type whos down to prettymuch™ fill anything so if ya got a plot that ur rlly wantin but no one seems to be takin then give it to me i’ll 100% take it lmao! ya im desperate what about it?

[obannthepunished]

uhhhhhh notes HURT WEEK im pains

"They call me eagle-eye fjord where i come from." "maybe raven. i dont know." that theory about Fjord being the Hawker is suspicious rn (Apparently theres a third i missed whoops) sam apparently similar thoughts maybe bc Nott brings it up

Jester finally teaching kiri basic phrases, like "go fuck yourself"

Beau + Fjord taking first watch

Caleb checking out the dodecahedron

(Unrelated odd point: i have a current dislike/distrust for liam, which is bullshit bc... i love liam. and caleb and vax. but apparently smt is wrong.)

Dodecahedron is Very Old, and has been shaped/polished Cay uses the haversack as a pillow

BEAU/FJORD Beau: "I think I messed up. I think I should apologise." I HURT? Oh beauregard. oh marisha. "i wanna try, I guess" F: I think he deserves that. He's been good to us. i regret not writing fic now 8(

"OOH, terrible" "YEP." "five" "five" (collective "ooh")

Nott + Jes second. they roll not great.

Tinkle tinkle "nnhnohfishnott"

Kiri is poofed up asleep aAW

trident goin for FRUMPKIN NOOO (pause whilst they look for range on dismissal)

Kiri wakes up "Go fuck yourself :("

Theyre waiting for fish head they could just reappear Frumpkin tho...

Jester is sacred flaming, Molly has a sword active + stabs, Caleb fire bolt, Nott fires an arrow, Fjord eldritch blast, Yasha stabby

Molly + Nott + Caleb miss Fjord hits, Beau hits, Yasha hits dunno bout jes

frumpkin poofs back but doesn't see anything else.

???? alarm lasts 8 hours, not until triggered yall it should still be up. they need to look up the spells smh

Nott messaging to tell yash to hide the bodies

LAst watch is Yash and Caleb i need to stop shortening names

Caleb asks Yasha for people advice :') He's writing it down... i love him Yashas advice is basically "Fucking Bathe" And cay confirms he keeps himself gross because people ignore him more that way 8( Baby

C: "Do you know what i miss? shaving." Y: "I could shave you right now with my sword. I've done it before, you know, to... not have hair on my arms-" Omg shes doing it omg theyre doing it omg I DONT HAVE TO DRAW FACIAL HAIR IN MY FANART ANY MORE FUCK <3333

cay forgets he has a dagger jesus fucking christ

i love everyone making comments + taliesins just amazed like, borderline heart eye emoji look at this whole scenario

M: (to Caleb) "Well done, she [yasha] likes you!"

Nott is Not Happy About Water N: I'LL STAY WITH KIRI everyone else: Convincing her to come N: I'll stay with kiri, and if there's any trouble... we'll see what happens

Fjord goes first, he sees, with his 60ft darkvision, architeture of room. mistly natural, some bits not.

Fjord botches his stealth roll but matt botches his perception even worse. and my thing crashed im so mad.

Fjord is Not a good swimmer. hes like. 30ft swimming speed. Things being left: Caleb's books (2) Molly's coat

travis willingham going "kiris gotta die" then dragging everyone who gasped through the dirt

beau gets fucking 37 on her stealth check Matt: "That's some vax numbers right there!"

The visual aid is... so extra. lights. smoke. what the fuck matthew. (note: when ur best friend is called matthew this is a phrase you say too much)

Surprise round for erryone but Molly and Yasha (purrsonally, i think they were too busy talking abt how beautiful cay is now ;3c)

everyone rolled shite for initiative tho

Caleb casting haste on molly O:

Fjord is very very adept at everything

everyone on crit role can do maths better than me 8(

the marrow fuck beau and fjord royally

watching call lightning forming + marishas face as she slowly realises :)

jes gets the first hdywtdt + crushes a fish with a lollipop

Caleb is taking blind potshots with the glove of blasting boyy. One even hits!

moll gets 3 attacks i love my beautiful devil child

N: Are you guys alive and do you need anything? you can reply to this message~ C: FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK N: oh,, alright.

Taliesin's relief when ashley actually hits is very good.

Beau goes down! D:

hi unrelated taliesin sticking his tongue out at sam fills me with indescribable joy

NEW: Horny twink gets double penetrated by feisty wet ones.

... which is to say two fish dudes stab molly.

Jes heals Beau, but we all know fine fucking well if she hadn't, Yasha would have done it on her next turn. still might since she's only on 11

Cay using dispel magic O:

Molly gets the second hdywtdt "I'm literally just a windmill at this point"

FJORD gets the third F: "I see Molly loojin' around, give him a little wink-" (murders) M: Fucking arsehole F: (witty comment) PEACE OUT (blinks out again)

"Sevens are scary" - Taliesin

Yash gets the next hdywtdt Xorhasian Neck Tie Jesus christ

I was right tho Yasha was seriously considering healing beau, it just takes her action

Two more fishfucks 8(

More call lightning

Sams flask says "lost my best friend over a bowl" and that hurtie

caleb is boutta die. Yasha is boutta die first lmao oh no. i love taliesin jaffe an inhuman amount. Yash gets pulled OVER beau and marisha makes like grabby hand motions which is VERY cute

ok NOW caleb boutta die. he Shield's, and then fragments "Caleb will remember this"

Beau looks at Yasha, looks at Caleb, and goes to CALEB (sobs) blasts a ki point and everything

Molly gets a nat 20 oh he's such a babe

Nott spending her turn justifying herself to Kiri

Fjord blinks back in and fucks up ANOTHER fishfuck

Yasha casting healing hands on HERSELF good.

"You dont have a printout of your character sheet????" "Oh yeah I do after you asked me nine times" liam wh

both yash and caleb are at ONE hp

B, spening her last ki point: HEYCALEBWESHOULDTALKLATER

Beau gets the HDYWTDT tho

Molly is Very Sick from losing haste

Caleb goes the fuck down Fails his first save

everytime tal says "im gonna try something weird"  i heart eyes emoji shame he cant do jack fuck though

Nott Burning Bolt shoots the fishfuck for 24 damage jeeeeez doesnt die but drops lightning

Fjord: (appears, fails, disappears)

if Caleb permadeaths i WILL cry

PLEASE YASHA PLEASE GOD JESTER PLEASE THEY KILL IT IM CRYING SO HARD no like literally i am actually crying bc matt very deliberately did that so that he didnt kill Caleb

Jester uses her pearl of power to regain a slot, and use it to cast prayer of healing for SHIT rolls.

Jester goes back to Kiri <333 baby. baby bird.

Matt mercer keeps using words ive only ever seen written and im ALWAYS ???? about their pronunciation

Fjord finds some L00t Like boxes and longswords and a pool of water with dozens of metallic objects mostly outlawed diety symols. changebringer moonweaver. others i forgot. stormlord. everlight. asmodeus ooh, bane strife emperor. and tiamat.

"a little black bird that's fluttering to try and get dry" fuck thats so damn cute. Marisha has the :D face

Calebs books are dry

wooden box + pool are magic. like. WITHIN.

Enchantment in the box. Molly collecting the moonweaver pieces

JESTER FINDS TWO SYMBOLS FOR THE TRAVELLER? HOLY SHIT Different make, pure silver one, burnished bronze another door arch with the road

Molly gets 12-13 symbols

Nott mage hands just so good even drunk

in the box is a blade, gold, jewel encrusted Molly shoves Nott aside to get it cause its a scimitar style

Caleb finds the arch-heart symbol? Takes one

Yasha takes 4 symbols for the storm god.

Bane/strife emperor symbol Fjord is curious about chained coffin he throws it into the pool. nothing happens.

JEster goes to pll it out and gets a big catseye yellow gem,  magical, but not a school of arcane magic. it has a line groove in it, very deliberate, an oval.

"something about that [orb] is very familiar"??? (Matt to Travis)

i was right about the orb being familiar

C: (abt the gold sword) This blade is called Summer's Dance C: "Mr. Mollymauk," M: "Mr. Caleb."

Blade allows user to cast Blink basically, and is stronk

official-europa replied to your post: uhhhhhh notes HURT WEEK im pains “They...

i think its probably misty step and not blink 

official-europa replied to your post: uhhhhhh notes HURT WEEK im pains “They...

on the sword i mean

caleb tries to ID the orb

fjord touches it "sky is moonlit + cloudless, clothes not your own, nor body, overcoat + human skin. thick calloused skin. left hand stone. look down, see body of previous owner, dead in blood. natural landmass seawater night. flash. right hand grasps falchion. voice booms. potential. jams the stone into gut, cCONSUME. vanishes into belly. looks into water. REWARD." "Vandrin."

i dont kn ow what the fuck is going on.??? everyone else sees this o shit

oh shit is the eye the symbol of Fjord's patron?

"he was my mentor, a captain of mine. a man named Vandrin." Y: What happened to Vandrin? F: I'm not sure. he captained the ship i worked on for many years, and their was an incident. an explosion, terrible weather, waves, "i was knocked overboard" when f woke up he was back on shore

"how did you survive" "I'm not entirely sure."

explosion was sabotage.

the pool is saltwater.

Molly shoves Fjord's head into the water

comes up "You okay???" "Do it again" "Tap three times when you're done!" Fjord drowns

they take as much as possible up and out and decide to dynamite everything in. dramatic exit..

They take the bodies down and lay them in the swamp to rest and decompose.

Beau tries to pull Caleb aside and he just stonewalls her until she actually apologises.

Caleb "I give beauregard a hug and say 'idont know what im doing. just. go with it." BEau very AWKWARDLY hugs him back Beau consulting Fjord, Caleb consulting Yasha The entire other side of the table clapping.

Beau: UH. GOOD TALK. FRIEND. (awkward silence) Beau: Seriously though. Friend? (pause) Caleb: Uh. Ja. (brb dying)

there is a single yellow eye on the hilt of the falchion.

episode END

[alice-dont-break]

checking | janthony one shot

Jasmine's heart wasn't racing, but rather beating slow and heavy in her chest, a steady thumping to remind her of the weight she carried. She could tell herself her fears were stupid or irrational, but that only served to amplify her frustration. She couldn't shake the obsessive thoughts that gnawed at her relentlessly, so she'd just have to sit with them for now, fingers drumming repeatedly over the back of her phone.

Watching Anthony's leaden breaths was the best reminder that tranquility was still possible. He looked so peaceful, so unworried, so content, and she just wished she could fold herself into his shelter. She yearned to lift the arm that rested heavy on the mattress, slightly outstretched as if searching for the body it usually held secure, and lay it over her rigid midsection. Every inch of her was tense, and while she knew her husband's touch could unbind her, she couldn't bear to wake him. These thoughts were too ridiculous to be worth his time, she thought, and she'd hate to disturb such a peaceful-looking sleep for her childishness. But luckily, all her stressful energy, or perhaps some invisible power of their bond, did the job for her.

"Whatchu still doing up, baby?" Anthony grumbled, rubbing at his tired eyes. He rolled onto his side to face Jasmine, who was propped up against the headboard scrolling through her phone. He didn't know exactly what time it was, but he did know that when he rolled over in the night, he'd expected to find her fast asleep.

"Go back to bed, love," she cooed, reaching over to comb through his tousled curls. Her mind was protesting against the words she forced from her lips, but her hushed tone concealed the stress of conflict in her voice. She looked over to him with soft eyes, letting the genuine adoration of his sleepy and disheveled appearance mask her underlying anxiety.

Regardless, the non-answer concerned Anthony enough to draw him out of his groggy state. He looked over at the alarm clock and found it was nearly three in the morning, so he sat up and shifted towards his wife. "Jas, what's going on?" He asked softly, sweeping a curl behind her ear so he could capture her gaze and study her expression. "Trouble sleeping?" His hand came to rest on the top of her shoulder, where he kneaded her taut muscles.

"Not really," she mumbled, "just haven't tried." Her eyes broke away from his, dropping to her lap while her fingers twisted and tugged at the sheets.

Anthony noticed her fidgeting and reached over to slip his hand into her restless one. He squeezed her palm gently until he felt the tension dissipate, then rubbed his thumb carefully over each knuckle. "It's late, Jas, d'you wanna tell me what's keeping that beautiful mind so busy?"

Jasmine grappled with whether to admit her silent battle, until she met Anthony's eyes. They had widened but they weren't strained; they were just locked on her with a quiet concern that showed her she was safe and welcome, and compelled her to let him in. "I'm trying not to go check the stove," she muttered.

"Oh, babe, you don't have to worry," he frowned, "I checked it before I came up." His pitch escalated along with his worry. He knew whatever was keeping her up wasn't as simple as his response implied.

"I know. We didn't even use it today because we had salads and then ate out for dinner, and we haven't used it since yesterday and I checked it yesterday so there's no way it's on," she rattled off, as if the schedule for using their stove was imprinted on her mind. It may as well have been.

"Baby, is this...? I thought the meds - "

"I know, I'm sorry," she cut him off with a deep sigh. Her eyes fell to her lap again, sunken and clouded. "I haven't been good about telling you what's gone on at my appointments..."

Anthony shook his head sharply before looking over to find the shame that squeezed up her shoulders into hunches. "Don't have to apologize Jas. You dont owe me any explanations. All I wanna know is if there's a way I can be taking better care of you." His last few words lightened, as he looked over to catch her heavy-lidded eyes.

Her jaw relaxed into a sad smile, before tentatively giving a slight nod. He reciprocated though just barely, as if offering a safe place for her to speak if she wanted, but imposing no expectations. Blinking away the haze, she inhaled a trembled, hollow breath. "With us trying and all, I've been talking to my therapist about weaning off the meds because they aren't super safe during a pregnancy, which means a lot more of other methods of treatment. So we lowered my dosage a little and I'm just supposed to make it a little longer every night without checking."

Jasmine's obsessive-compulsive disorder had been mostly kept at bay over the past few years by a combination of therapy and medication, but he recalled many sleepless nights from when it was more prevalent. He remembered the pit that would fall in his stomach whenever he would wake to the mattress sinking beside him, signaling she was back from checking the door lock or the stove. He, like most people would, first envisioned meticulous cleaning and organizing when she first told him about her diagnosis, but soon he learned that was only one possible manifestation.

For Jasmine, compulsions were a need to go check something that she simply couldn't shake. The obsessive thoughts would barrel through her mind with no regard for rational thinking. It didn't matter how many times she'd dragged herself out of bed to go check already, or how desperate she was to sleep; the thoughts and the anxiety that always tagged along wouldn't go away until she got up. The anguish grated against Anthony's heart even as a bystander. For so long, there was nothing either of them could do to fight back, but after weeks and then months of treatment that started to change. Every night that passed, even the ones that were far from perfect, had Anthony growing more and more proud of his girl. He knew he was watching her endure something that would at times feel excruciating, so the least he could do was be by her side. Tonight would be no different.

Anthony pushed against the mattress to sit up, and leaned back against the headboard with his arm outstretched. "How much longer we got?"

"Ant, you don't have t-"

"I know," he said firmly, "but I don't want you sitting and stewing all on your own." He reached over to love on her, tenderly holding her opposite cheek as he began to paint every inch of the side of her face with soft, slow kisses.

"It's just another hour and a bit. I just need to get through it... it's gonna suck but then tomorrow maybe it'll be easier..." Jasmine trailed off as her eyes fell back to her lap. She soaked in the warmth of his lips for one more breath, then tilted her head away to shake off his grasp. "It's stupid, babe. The point is you should go back to sleep." Her hand softened in his as she tried to pull back, but he redoubled his grip. His spare hand moved to cradle her chin again and his thumb brushed over her cheek in soothing half circles.

"You can argue all you want baby, but I'm staying up with you. Now are you going to leave me hanging, or curl up into this awfully inviting arm and cuddle me?" He wiggled his shoulder with a goofy smile, letting her arm flop around as he held her hand tightly.

Jasmine squeezed her eyes shut, but relented as a giggle tumbled from her pursed lips. She couldn't resist the way his eyes softened through his laugh, saying more than his snarky words ever could. With a final roll of her eyes, she released his hand and curled into his side. Her head found a pillow in his chest while she was enveloped in the warmth of two protective arms around her. He knew from practice exactly how tight to squeeze so she felt secure but not trapped, and quickly the tension in her shoulders seeped away. She nuzzled against his t-shirt to inch just a little closer, as his fingers delved into the curls that tickled his chin.  The thumping of his heart coaxed her to melt just a little deeper into his arms, as his nails grazed her scalp in calming strokes.

His lips affixed to her forehead with careful attention, pressing and relaxing every few seconds. They weren't distinct kisses, as Anthony couldn't bear the thought of space between them, but rather one long transfer of the warmth and protection he wanted to seclude them in. Her eyes were squeezed shut with little creases spurting out from the outer corners, as she tried to focus on all his sweet touches while blocking out all the distractions and intrusive thoughts that threatened to disturb their peaceful little bubble. Every second she melted further and further into the embrace, letting the easy feelings of warmth and safety crowd out the obsessions that had been hoarding her energy.

Even as Jasmine started to settle, she still had nervous energy vibrating through her body. Needing an outlet, she started tracing little circles, mindless drawings, around Anthony's chest. It was an easy way to fidget; just small movements that she could keep up without shifting from the cocoon formed around her of Anthony's arms. After a while she realized it was a familiar pattern, essentially the same thing she did when she was on her own, but it felt so much safer. Whenever Jasmine needed to expel some tension on her own, she'd use her fingertips to write words on her thighs. She would silently come up with lists of absolutely anything, to let her mind focus on something other than the stressor at hand, and give her anxious buzz an escape route. The difference now was that she had yet to choose a category.

When she thought about where she was, and what brought her here, it was easy to think of something that would soothe her. She voluntarily lessened her medication not just because she wanted to give herself and Anthony the one thing they wanted most in the world, but because she already cared about that baby so deeply. She would already do anything to protect them and give them every chance at health and happiness, no matter how hard this battle to adjust might be for her. The thought of holding a baby, their baby, to her chest, and witnessing a heartbeat and giggles and cries that were all theirs to nurture was motivation enough to keep fighting, and also helped her realize the perfect inspiration for her musings.

What she hadn't realized was that the use of her new notepad also threatened to expose her little game. "Whatcha writing?" Anthony asked with a cheeky little grin.

Her fingers froze, and then curled into her palm. "Nothin', jus' fidgety I guess." Her cheeks started to burn but luckily they were still hidden as she nuzzled against his chest.

"You can keep goin' if you like. S'kinda fun being your canvas," he smiled.

She lifted her chin so he could see the shy smile that crept across her face, then unfurled her fist. For the next few moments, she focused again on mindless patterns. Fleeting circles, hearts and spirals tingled across his t-shirt until Jasmine had wrongly assumed he'd forgotten all about her artwork. She started spelling again, and Anthony tuned right in.

"J..." he thought to himself, mentally following the paths of her fingertips to solve her secret message. "U... L... I..."

"Julia? Who's that?" He asked, breaking the silence that had floated for the past few moments.

Jasmine rolled her eyes sleepily, and hushed him. "You didn't let me finish."

"E... T... T... E..." her fingers continued to dance.

"Juliette? I still don't get it," he frowned. "Who is that?"

"It's nothing babe," she sighed, "seriously it's embarrassing just ignore me. I just like to make lists when I need a distraction."

A series of kisses peppered across her forehead and temples was Anthony's way of pleading for an answer, and it had Jasmine's resolve melting away. The way he had her totally engulfed in his essence - his musky smell, the warmth of his skin pressed to hers, his voice's vibrations against her head - and the way it had her heart slowed and her mind cleared made his efforts irresistible.

"Okay, okay, fine. Was makin' a list of baby names," she mumbled under her breath.

Anthony knew better than to push her any further given her delicate state, so he tried earnestly to contain the burst of excitement that pulsed from his heart. He reached a little further with each of his hands, trying to pull her even closer despite the fact that she was already flush against his side. The thought of a family never failed to send his mind spinning, and all he could think about was being close to her. It was something they'd talked about of course, even already tonight, but something about seeing her use planning for a baby as a way to calm herself down had him near flustered. He reached down to squeeze her knee gently, then pull her leg over his hips. She was straddling him now, laying fully on top of him with her head undisturbed in the crook of his neck. He rubbed up and down her back slowly while pressing kiss after kiss to the crown of her head until she had fully settled, content with the new way their bodies had melded together.

As time passed, Jasmine no longer had to focus on steadying her breath; it had simply aligned itself with the slow rhythmic heart beat that vibrated against her cheek.  Truthfully, her focus wasn't being tugged towards anything anymore. No more worries forcing themselves upon her, and no more obsessions pleading for her attention. Instead, her mind had been granted the freedom to focus on whatever would make her feel most comfortable, most safe, and most at home. And right now, that was certainly Anthony. The stubble on his chin that prickled against her forehead, the hands that radiated heat across her back, and the soothing trills that hummed from his lips all worked in tandem to make minutes feel like seconds until Jasmine's internal timer was up. Not long after, Anthony noticed the time despite her still appearing unfazed.

"Hey, it's about time, isn't it?" His words came as quiet murmurs, with silent pleas for her to stay as calm and composed as she was before.

"Mhmm, about five minutes ago," she grumbled, nuzzling deeper into Anthony's chest.

He grinned and lowered his chin to press a kiss to the crown of her head. "Jas, that's amazing babe. You did that and I'm so, so proud of you. Do you wanna go? I can come with you, or wait here, or -"

Jasmine closed her eyes to inhale deep into her belly, letting the comfort Anthony exuded drown out the last of the her pestering thoughts. "You checked it, right? And it's fine?"

"Yeah, but there's no shame if y-"

"Okay, I think maybe I'm good," she interjected, needing him to just agree before her compulsions reclaimed the ground she'd fought for. "Maybe we could just sleep?"

His smile pressed into her curls as felt his cheeks warming with pride. "Whatever sounds best to you, angel."

Jasmine just nodded, letting her cheek rub against his chest before tilting up to kiss his chin. She smiled into the kiss he pressed to her forehead, then let herself slide off his torso to sink back into the mattress. She kept a leg draped over his, and he slithered an arm under the arch of her waist so he could pull her tighter to his side. Her head tucked into the crook of his neck like a puzzle piece locking into place, and their hands clasped together just as perfectly atop his chest. Warm breaths washed over Anthony's neck, the slow rhythm allowing his worry for Jasmine to dissipate just slightly. She was still fragile, but she was fighting through it and at least for now she was okay. Her breathing was under control, and he could keep her just like this, snuggly in his protective hold.

"D'you know how ridiculously proud of you I am?" He murmured.

He felt her cheeks puff up, her lips curling into a bashful smile, but she banished that from her tone. "No reason to be. Jus' using common sense, really."

Anthony shook his head, fighting off the emotion that was started to glass over his eyes. A lump formed in the back of his throat, as he reflected on the significance behind why Jasmine was needing to be so strong tonight. "We both know its not that simple, babe. You're fighting something wired into your brain and you're doing that for our.. for us," he choked out."You're already making sacrifices for our baby and they don't even exist yet." A tear finally broke free and slipped down his cheek. Jasmine heard the break in his voice, and reached up to press a series of kisses down the track now paved through his freckles. "I'm just, so proud of you, and I love you so much," he added, his voice no stronger than a whisper.

"I love you too, Ant." Jasmine squeezed the hand in hers and felt whatever tension they each still held disintegrate. The weight she felt had finally been lifted as a peaceful sort of exhaustion washed over her - it wasn't one she had to fight off, but one she could now embrace.

Anthony could feel a heat spreading through his chest, made of some mix of pride and admiration. This woman was a warrior and he was lucky enough to be the one by her side. He nodded down to watch her eyes flutter shut, her lips parting slightly as her breaths deepened. "Now get some rest, my love. God, do you ever deserve it."

[clementineviolet]

twdg liveblog beneath PART 1

im so nervous holy shit

CLEM SAID PREVIOUSLY ON WALKING DEAD OMGGGGG

time 2 have fun at carnival

i thought it was funny pls david

i know im a dick david im young

“kate may need help” ;) YOU CAN COUNT ON ME #davidisacuck

i really trusted joan

hug time bitch

david keep calm

gabe you scared me holy shit

A HERD WE AINT NEED THAT

THANK GOD FOR ELEANOR, MY WIFE

WE’LL TRY GABE NO PROMISES THO

IM HYPE

GO TRIPP!!!! OH NVM ELEANOR AINT ABOUT IT

CONRAAAD MY MAN

AWK

I AGREE TRIPP

THANKS KATE

I SHOULDNT BE GIVING TRIPP ADVICE 

AVA HI ILY

IM SO NERVOUS LMAO

LETS NOT LINGER HERE YALL

YEAH WE A TEAM GABE

OWWWWWWW

ITS OK MAN JUST CHILL 

LINGARD?? THAT MEANS CLEM

CLEMMMMMMYYYYYYYY!!!!! MY GIRL

OHHHHH YEAH LOOK AT THAT SCAR!! DE JA VU

OH GOD CLEM GOT HER PERIOD OK WELL

“BLOSSOMING” I CANNOT!!!!! JAVI IS THE WORST

CLEM: HEY DONT STEAL. JAVI: HOW BOUT I DO ANYWAY

HERE CLEM TAKE THESE PADS

JAVI IS A GOOD FRIEND 

CLEM IS TOO YOUNG TO BE A MOM

“FUNNY. I ALREADY FELT LIKE A MOM.” IM CRYING

SHE WAS A GOOD MOM

POOR CLEM IM CRYING

THANKS AVA

THE DRAWING IM CRYING SO BAD

IT WA SUPPOSED TO BE ME AND AJ TO THE END

AVA IS SO GOOD

I USED TO HAVE LEE!!!! FUCK ME

“I COULD HEAR HIM IN MY HEAD. HELPING ME, GUIDING ME” IM CRYIHNFNGNDFDSGFSDJHFDSJKFCJKSD

OF COURSE I WONT

I PROMISE

THANKS AVA

[cosemizdaloxd]

18.3. psici mohli byt doma a dlouhopsik mel uz min odreno nosik oo hh a pak zdali nake wildy ze museni skakat do vody aby nekam dostanuti nvm a pak moc mokro a ze byti v nakem helouvin meste but i knew it was game and the graphic was a bit bad xd a to se mi zdalo uplne nvm minuly tyden a ja rikani wow ten sen vyvestil ze to stane a wow to dalsi sen :V hhh mr rota said he hates standashow

22.3. i thought it was a movie because i wanted to recommend it to my cousin, but i was living it i wanted to go to toilet really bad but i was in some weird town where everyone was kinda mad and spooky and i had to walk in the other direction than everybody to go to the toilet maybe it was forbidden and i had to travel to other dimension or something and there i had to pretend i am one of them and i realised it s a dream and i was flying and touching the different textures then i got back in the first dimension and i was saving some boy but there werent people looking like people and we had to pretend we are so mad and stuff like others i was at my grandma and i wanted to pack my things but i couldnt find something and i was looking through my bag so many times and then i realised its not my bag its my cousin and she put it in the place of my bag and my bag was right next to it and then i realised my cousin is right in the next room and she said she heard me going through the backpack and i told her i thought it was mine but it was hers and we laughed

24.3. i was at my grandma and it was evening and it was getting dark but i quickly went to doggos and i wanted to go on a walk with them but i realised i dont have a collar for cakynka so i thought how i will just give her leash and come back but there are cats outside the doors i was in english school and we had a homework and i had only one eexercise done of the two and when it was my turn i derped it all and didnt answer right, then after us some other class went there it was mainly boys and they put their stuff in the classroom and it was taking me too long to pack my things and i saw that they connected couple of straws and used it to drink and stuff xdd

25.3. i was in school at some course and my friends were there too there were lots of pictures of others we had to make some pictures using some items that would be otherwise thrash and i found picture of somebody who used bra to make drawing of some person with clothes xd somebody was asking me how it is going and i said better than expected because i already had 3 pictures in pencil sketched

26.3.i was taking bus to school and we were going to be dancing and we had to find partners and i was so scared and didnt want to and kate masarova was somehow supposed to dance with me but there were some boys who were they were going to put us together oof and i was hating every second and the boy when he came asked if i have brought my pajamas and then if i ll dance with him cuz he didnt have anybody and the girl he wanted to dance with was already with somebody and i said i already dance with somebody and he looked over the bus and didnt say anything i was watching joker on pc and there was some scene where joker recognizes his doctor and says hi doctor and the doctor is surprised hes there kalunkama realised rimworld exists and said it look very nice and i said i have actually been playing it

27.3. i was in school with people mixed from all the schools i went to i hadto carry my two heavy bags, then i didnt know where to sit and we  were waiting for the teacher but when he came he said 3 of our classmates got covid sowe should go home i was happ i dont have to go to school but spooked at the same time and i was waiting for others to start leaving

29.3. i was at my grandma and some lil boy came and gave me money and said i had to defend him in court as a witness

30.3. i wrote some things in an exercise book like about me and stuff to draw and my mom read it the next morning and i said i didnt want her to read it and i was very oof from it then i looked at my hand and counted fingers and realised its a dream then i was at my computer and it was getting late to go to school and i realised its dream again

[vitalmindandbody]

Ellen von Unwerth:’ Let’s photograph girlfriends experiencing life’

Blending old-world charm with a uniquely provocative eroticism, Ellen von Unwerths photographs are a riot of merriment and sly subversion. Richard Godwin sounds why it is also necessary go ourselves less seriously

Ellen von Unwerth cant stop laughter. The German photographer, 63, is bouncing all over the Taschen gallery in West Hollywood in her sneakers, attempting to talk through the likeness from her latest expo and prowes volume, Heimat .

So heimat represents Fatherland or Motherland or where you were born and where your roots are, she tells me. Bavaria is not my heimat , but we wanted to make a lampoon of the whole Bavarian thing.

The whole Bavarian occasion, apparently, involves supermodels frolicking nude in Alpine grasslands, performing suggest ordinances with sausages, udders and piou innocents, sledging topless, spanking one another in dirndls and generally experiencing the fecundity and vigor for which the countries of the south German ascents are celebrated. Oh, ja , its very sex there, even the clothes they push up the breasts and there are lots and lots of sausages, ha ha ha, she interprets. But you realise so many personas that are dark and depressing at the moment. All these lamentable girls being lamentable! So I figured, lets show girls having fun and experiencing life.

The new Bardot: Claudia Schiffer in Italy, 1989. Photo: Ellen von Unwerth

Von Unwerth has a strange flair for getting famous and beautiful women( Claudia Schiffer, Madonna, Naomi Campbell, Rihanna, Kate Moss) to remove their inhibitions and frequently their underwear while at the same time maintaining self-restraint. Her portraits are often provocatively sexual, but its generally her topics who are doing the elicit. I ever give them something to do, she discloses. When someone not moving I get bored. I take two word-paintings and I say: Great, I have it now. But I love their own bodies in push. I like the nude mas in movement.

The fashion world adores her for this. You could tell from the raucous opening defendant for Heimat , where Arnold Schwarzenegger improbably scratched shoulders with Yolandi Visser, and most of the models from the hit ceased up jump-start in a swimming pool. Von Unwerths Instagram feed is just one of the few that clear pattern weeks actually search fun. On International Womens Day, the fashiony corners of Instagram were awash with tributes to her: You make fun, sexy, craziness to give. I ever experience pushing my boundaries, hugging my femininity/ virility and of course my personality always raucous and proud when we work together, wrote one example, Alexina Graham. Ellen von Unwerths playful and empowering photos are such a exultation to be a part of and I am so happy she is there to represent women in such a male reigned professing! wrote another, Syrie Moskowitz.

I ever give the representations something to do: Ellen von Unwerth. Image: Steffen Kugler

It is clear that everyone had a whole lot of snickers in Bavaria. Von Unwerth flows towards an image of three women topless on a sled: This example is Miss Russia and she brought a lot of vodka to the kill. So the latter are boozing behind my back in the snow. Von Unwerth is not much given to analysing. When I allude to the male gape she has no theory what Im talking about. When I find myself comprehending for the word porn she hit back: Have you ever seen a porno? Well, one of your envisions does literally outline two beings having sex in a hayloft. Its more inspired by a B-movie sense of camp. I wouldnt say porno.( After our interrogation, one of her deputies calls me to make sure that I dont think its prurient .)

Of course, the word I should have reached for was sexual. Or perhaps simply German. Look at the scandal there was with Janet Jackson over here, she says referring to the Super Bowl nipple slip of 2004. It was a tit! Its something you should be proud of and not obscure. Especially if its nice. Ha ha ha ha! In Germany it is not like this. Even if you go to a common in Berlin in the summer, everybody is naked and playing frisbee. You would get arrested if you did that in LA.

Leg pulling: Bumpy Slide, from Heimat. Photograph: Ellen von Unwerth

Von Unwerth was birth in Frankfurt in 1954 and grown up in an orphanage and a succession of foster homes. She has no recollection of her parents and not much inclination to reflect on their absence. Its what drew “peoples lives”, she says. I was free from affect and I was able to take best available from everywhere. I dont truly have a heimat . So her heimat is wherever she happens to be? Exactly.

She moved to Bavaria aged 16 to join a commune and later went to study in Munich. On her first day at university person said: Hey, would you like to do a modelling enterprise? And I turned around and never went back to university. That led to a shoot for the German magazine Bravo , which in turn led to her being signed by Elite simulates in Paris. I kind of hated modelling, but somehow I did it for 10 years. I was not really the exhibitionist kind. Its hard psychologically to be a model. And predominantly beings told me not to move when I was posing. I just wanted to be like the girls in my scenes now.

Your Turn,( Rihanna ), 2009. Photograph: Ellen von Unwerth

It was exclusively in 1986 that she firstly started taking picture herself a boyfriend lent her his camera on a fashion product in Kenya and she went into a nearby hamlet to kill local children. I came back home and established them to my friends and they were like: Theyre really good, Ellen! Because prototypes are supposed to be stupid. I was astonished myself because I wasnt so interested in photography. I had never learnt how to do it.

Her portraits were published in the French periodical Jill , and she went on to shoot for i-D , the Face , Interview and Vogue , in the vein of her greatest force Helmut Newton. It was a shoot with the then unknown Claudia Schiffer for French Elle in 1988 that cleared both of their occupations. She was a sugared girl and I didnt think so much of it, but when I looked at the pictures, I called my husband[ music producer Christian Fourteau] and said: Doesnt she look like Brigitte Bardot? The teeth, the eyes? Soon after we did the Guess jeans campaign and it was a jumpstart to my vocation. She also detected Eva Herzigov( shes gushing with vigour) and Nadja Auermann, and hit the notorious 1995 Playboy shoot that announced that Drew Barrymore was no longer the girl from ET . She has remained in demand even though the smartphone epoch has debased the art.

Saddle up: On the high horse, 2015. Photo: Ellen von Unwerth

Its not special any more to be a photographer, she says. Even when I take a drawing, everybody countenances next to me and takes the same video. Five minutes later its on everyone elses Instagram and Im old information so Im forced to take paints on my iPhone too.

She tells me she can usually tell the difference between a photo a follower has taken and one a woman has taken. But I find it crazy how girls photograph themselves all the time. When I was a girl and searched in the reflect, my stepmother would come in and give me a slap. There was this idea that if you did that, the demon would get in you and steal your temperament. Now everyone does this. I question patterns sometimes, Do you were supposed to take so many selfies? And “theyre saying”: Simply when I take selfies do I get likes. Its heartbreaking! Narcissism is so celebrated in our society, sometimes beings lose interest in other people.

Heimat by Ellen von Unwerth, price 650, issued by Taschen as a collectors edition of 1,500 prints, each numbered and signed by the photographer. For more information, go to taschen.com

Read more: www.theguardian.com

The post Ellen von Unwerth:’ Let’s photograph girlfriends experiencing life’ appeared first on vitalmindandbody.com.

from WordPress http://ift.tt/2yCKTma via IFTTT

[vitalmindandbody]

Ellen von Unwerth:’ Let’s photograph daughters enjoying life’

Blending old-world charm with a uniquely provocative eroticism, Ellen von Unwerths photographs are a riot of enjoyable and sly subversion. Richard Godwin listens why we need to go ourselves less seriously

Ellen von Unwerth cant stop laughter. The German photographer, 63, is bouncing all over the Taschen gallery in West Hollywood in her sneakers, attempting to talk through the personas from her latest exhibit and artistry journal, Heimat .

So heimat necessitates Fatherland or Motherland or where you were born and where your springs are, she tells me. Bavaria is not my heimat , but we wanted to make a charade of the whole Bavarian thing.

The whole Bavarian occasion, apparently, concerns supermodels cavorting nude in Alpine fields, acting suggest numbers with sausages, udders and sacred virgins, sledging topless, spanking one another in dirndls and generally experiencing the fecundity and strength for which the countries of the south German descents are celebrated. Oh, ja , its exceedingly sex there, even the clothes they push up the bosoms and there are lots and lots of sausages, ha ha ha, she clarifies. But you read so many epitomes that are dark and depressing at the moment. All these happy dames being sad! So I figured, makes show girls having fun and experiencing life.

The new Bardot: Claudia Schiffer in Italy, 1989. Picture: Ellen von Unwerth

Von Unwerth has a strange ability for getting famous and beautiful maidens( Claudia Schiffer, Madonna, Naomi Campbell, Rihanna, Kate Moss) to remove their inhibitions and routinely their underwear while at the same time maintaining restraint. Her portraits are often provocatively sexual, but its usually her themes who are doing the excite. I always give them something to do, she discloses. When someone not moving I get bored. I take two paintings and I say: Great, I have it now. But I enjoy their own bodies in shift. I like the nude form in movement.

The fashion world adores her for this. You could tell from the raucous opening party for Heimat , where Arnold Schwarzenegger improbably rubbed shoulders with Yolandi Visser, and most of the models from the film ended up start in a swimming pool. Von Unwerths Instagram feed is just one of the few that do manner weeks actually search fun. On International Womens Day, the fashiony areas of Instagram were awash with tributes to her: You raise fun, sexy, craziness to situated. I ever experience pushing my borderlines, espousing my femininity/ virility and of course my personality always loud and proud when we work together, wrote one prototype, Alexina Graham. Ellen von Unwerths playful and empowering photos are such a joy to be a part of and I am so happy she is there to represent women in such a male predominated professing! wrote another, Syrie Moskowitz.

I ever give the frameworks something to do: Ellen von Unwerth. Photo: Steffen Kugler

It is clear that everyone had a whole lot of laughters in Bavaria. Von Unwerth motions towards an image of three women topless on a sled: This representation is Miss Russia and she raised a lot of vodka to the hit. So the latter are boozing behind my back in the snow. Von Unwerth is not much paid attention to analysing. When I allude to the male gape she has no plan what Im talking about. When I find myself grasping for the word porn she hit back: Have you ever seen a porno? Well, one of your draws does literally depict two people having fornication in a hayloft. Its more inspired by a B-movie sense of camp. I wouldnt say porno.( After our interrogation, one of her auxiliaries calls me to make sure that I dont think its prurient .)

Of course, the word I should have reached for was sexual. Or perhaps simply German. Appear at the scandal there was with Janet Jackson over here, she says referring to the Super Bowl nipple move of 2004. It was a tit! Its something you should be proud of and not conceal. Especially if its nice. Ha ha ha ha! In Germany it is not like this. Even if you go to a ballpark in Berlin in the summer, everybody is naked and playing frisbee. You would get arrested if you did that in LA.

Leg draw: Bumpy Slide, from Heimat. Picture: Ellen von Unwerth

Von Unwerth was bear in Frankfurt in 1954 and grown up in an orphanage and a succession of foster homes. She has no recollection of her parents and not much inclination to reflect on their absence. Its what formed my life, she says. I was free from influence and I was able to take best available from everywhere. I dont really have a heimat . So her heimat is wherever she happens to be? Exactly.

She moved to Bavaria aged 16 to join a commune and later went to study in Munich. On her first day at university someone said: Hey, would you like to do a modelling job? And I turned around and never went back to university. That led to a shoot for the German periodical Bravo , which in turn led to her being signed by Elite models in Paris. I kind of hated modelling, but somehow I did it for 10 years. I was not really the exhibitionist nature. Its hard psychologically to be a model. And principally people told me not to move when I was constituting. I just wanted to be like the girls in my drawings now.

Your Turn,( Rihanna ), 2009. Photo: Ellen von Unwerth

It was only in 1986 that she first started taking photograph herself a boyfriend lent her his camera on a fashion creation in Kenya and she ventured into a nearby village to film neighbourhood children. I came back home and depicted them to my friends and they were like: Theyre really good, Ellen! Because simulates are supposed to be stupid. I was amazed myself because I wasnt so interested in photography. I had never learnt how to do it.

Her epitomes were published in the French periodical Jill , and she went on to shoot for i-D , the Face , Interview and Vogue , in the vein of her greatest influence Helmut Newton. It was a hit with the then unknown Claudia Schiffer for French Elle in 1988 that manufactured both of their vocations. She was a sweet daughter and I didnt think so much of it, but when I looked at the pictures, I called my husband[ music producer Christian Fourteau] and said: Doesnt she look like Brigitte Bardot? The teeth, the eyes? Soon after we did the Guess jeans safarus and it was a jumpstart to my vocation. She too discovered Eva Herzigov( shes gushing with sparkle) and Nadja Auermann, and killed the infamous 1995 Playboy kill that announced that Drew Barrymore was no longer the girl from ET . She has remained in demand even though the smartphone period has demeaned the art.

Saddle up: On the high horse, 2015. Photo: Ellen von Unwerth

Its not special any more to be a photographer, she says. Even when I take a draw, everybody countenances next to me and takes the same painting. Five a few minutes later its on everyone elses Instagram and Im old information so Im forced to take word-paintings on my iPhone too.

She tells me she can usually tell the difference between a photo a husband has taken and one a woman has taken. But I find it crazy how wives photograph themselves all the time. When I was a girl and gazed in the reflect, my stepmother would come in and give me a slap. There was this idea that if you did that, the demon would get in you and plagiarize your identity. Now everyone does this. I question modelings sometimes, Do you have to take so many selfies? And they say: Simply when I take selfies do I get likes. Its happy! Narcissism is so celebrated in national societies, sometimes people lose interest in other people.

Heimat by Ellen von Unwerth, price 650, issued by Taschen as a collectors copy of 1,500 imitates, each numbered and signed by the photographer. For more information, going to see taschen.com

Read more: www.theguardian.com

The post Ellen von Unwerth:’ Let’s photograph daughters enjoying life’ appeared first on vitalmindandbody.com.

from WordPress http://ift.tt/2xB272W via IFTTT