#jaylen hotdogfingers

[blorbo-gerrymandering]

Round 3

Ok so due to the unexpected immense power of the blaseball fandom Ive had to bring out the advanced cheating. So I'm busting out the treasure hunt. Yes I know I said I would use it but that was before I learned that the skills used in Blaseball are the EXACT SAME that are used here.

So here is how it works ALL VOTES ON THE POLL ABOVE COUNT AS VOTES FOR AZULA! There is a separate poll elsewhere, and all votes on that count as votes for Jaylen. When the polls finish whichever poll has more total votes wins.

All clues except this one (and the poll itself obviously) will be found as replies to other posts. All replies will be from this blog.

Your first clue will be given to you by the Prince of Silfos, from his winner's podium.

Propaganda Under The Cut

Jaylen Hotdogfingers:

The greatest came-back-wrong character ever. She's the mayor of Seattle. She's was the best pitcher in the league. She was murdered by an umpire in an act of divine retribution for the fanbase's transgression. The fanbase exploited game mechanics to bring her back to life. Immediately she murdered 12 people. She died again and got revived a second time as part of a team of undead players that killed god. She's a really awful batter. She has, like, 16 songs written about her and they're all really good. I thought about her every single day for a period of six consecutive months. I love her.

I'll be real. I'm an outsider to the Blaseball fandom. I don't understand it. I think they've crowdfunded characters from fictionalized fucked-up Baseball stats and a dream. I love seeing what the fuck they're doing in their eldritch sandbox just so much.

Azula:

Shes a 14 year old girl who literally had a mental breakdown on screen that no one helped and personally I consider all of her family members abusive towards her

she's got issues <3

[polkadotpatterson]

Blaseball as text posts, part 7! Art by HetreaSky

[doyouknowthischaracter]

DO YOU KNOW THIS CHARACTER?

[fresnelprism]

smooshing my interests together like clay

blaseball inscryption cards !! portrait art by me, cards generated using this website

explanation of the sigils under the cut :3

parker:

touch of death: anything it hits dies instantly

sprinter: card moves in the direction of the arrow at the end of the turn

megan:

rampager: card moves in the direction of the sigil and throws those in the way behind it

fecundity: creates a copy of the card in your hand when it's played

nagomi:

hoarder: when card is played search through your deck and choose 1 card

replusive: if a creature would attack this card, it does not

jaylen:

leader: adjacent cards get +1 power

unkillable: instead of dying the card returns to your hand

mike:

worthy sacrifice: worth 3 blood instead of 1 when sacrificed

tillman:

stinky: decreases opposing creatures power by 1 (mostly i just thought it would be rly funny to give him stinky)

[fabledivine]

empty graves jaylen <3

[furballfaggot]

how did jaylen react to blaseball ending. how did she cope. one moment shes vaulted and unstable and may never see anyone she cared about again and the next everyone is freed from playing blaseball including her. surely thatd kinda fuck you up after months of separation and fear right

edit: hi theres a lot more of you than i expected. uh. i do commissions. sorry our budgets been shit for like 2 months im kinda desperate rn

[blockbusterclosed]

For @elifinchsart !! From the blaseball gift exchange! I had so much fun drawing these guys because I’ve wanted to draw them for a while :p very lovely designs!

[doctorwhoisadhd]

my blaseball winter exchange piece for @squidbroom :D song about jaylen! lyrics under the cut :)

why should i care about you when you don’t care about me? you only care about a person i don’t know how to be

is your life something you’d miss? why would i want your release? i don’t like that you don’t like that i don’t want any peace

i never asked you for this the person wanting was you you have to live with the fact that i’m not "living" with you

you say that i came back wrong you mean that i’m not the same was that not telegraphed? i think we both know who's to blame!

i don’t owe you anything, no, no you don't get to tell me so i’m not in the debt of someone who never met me did you really think you could take me alive? cause i’m not!

i’m not alive anymore! i don’t play by your rules, of course what did you expect when you opened up that door? cause you get what you pay for i’m what you paid for! am i not?!

and i wont stop!

[honeyblockm]

all of my comfort characters are down to kill

[elifinchsart]

PARK IT! A long while back I made around 50 pixels art "blattlers" of various Blaseball characters. These vary in quality as I improved and also might need to be clicked on if you are using desktop to see them with unblurred pixels. Many were commissions or requests but I no longer have the information of who they were for. They were posted to twitter but not to here so I am archiving them here now.

[orbleglorb]

am i allowed to post this

ID: a two-panel comic of jaylen hotdogfingers and tillman henderson from blaseball. jaylen is a black woman with box braids and muscular arms. tillman is a white guy with long hair and a backwards baseball cap. the top of jaylen's uniform is unbuttoned and folded over her belt, exposing her bare chest and post-autopsy scars. jaylen is clearly uncomfortable with the scars being visible. tillman says "yo i like ur top surgery scars," and jaylen says "they're not top surgery scars..." tillman opens his unbuttoned shirt superman-style to reveal top surgery scars that say "pog champ" in lowercase cursive lettering. he tells jaylen "mine's cooler tho" and she responds with "WTF." /end ID

[blorbo-gerrymandering]

Round 2

Baseball has sponsorships, right? If not maybe Blaseball does.

Propaganda Under The Cut

Jaylen Hotdogfingers:

The greatest came-back-wrong character ever. She's the mayor of Seattle. She's was the best pitcher in the league. She was murdered by an umpire in an act of divine retribution for the fanbase's transgression. The fanbase exploited game mechanics to bring her back to life. Immediately she murdered 12 people. She died again and got revived a second time as part of a team of undead players that killed god. She's a really awful batter. She has, like, 16 songs written about her and they're all really good. I thought about her every single day for a period of six consecutive months. I love her.

I'll be real. I'm an outsider to the Blaseball fandom. I don't understand it. I think they've crowdfunded characters from fictionalized fucked-up Baseball stats and a dream. I love seeing what the fuck they're doing in their eldritch sandbox just so much.

Simon Laurent:

I love him so much! Yay! Yippie! he got what he deserved tho

have i submitted him yet? if yes here he is again. what did you do to my French man, now he has anxiety, and maybe 50 other things. i can fix him, but it would require a lot of time travel and a complete lack of trains. as i can't do that, he instead gets his very own tumblr poll submission. one vote for train man is one dollar towards the invention of the simon-specific time machine. (your other guys cant come unless they have the same name sorry) its for a good cause

imagine: youre in the trolley situation. well an oh-so-kind tumblr user decided to give everyone who submits this character a get-out-of-a-train-free ticket! use that ticket, and you're no longer responsible for the death of someone (or you are no longer fated to die)!

[polkadotpatterson]

Blaseball as text posts, part 6! Art by HetreaSky!

[doyouknowthischaracter]

Anyways propaganda for jaylen go listen to the garages on spotify, youtube, and bandcamp she has so much music about her <3 <3 <3

You heard 'em!

[fresnelprism]

women ,,,,, 🤩

[fabledivine]

14 & jaylen for spotify wrapped

touch my own skin and hope that im still breathing