#jazz hands. they them pronouns only because his gender is a fucking wreck.

[candycryptids]

Did I accidentally click unfollow because it was next to the Ask button? Maybe. This truly is the best hour.

Anyway! What do they do to pass time during long journeys?

ANSWER AS THE VIBES DICTATE

The mood of the century. Why make it so clickable. Tappable. Whatever. I’ve used desktop lately and they’re like “HERES YOUR BIGGEST FANS. UNFOLLOW THEM NOW.” Like…… help…

Anyways the vibes(™) dictate this is real WoL hours, so. Ishi’li travels on foot/Chocobo more often than not because their companion (the Main WoL/their co-wol - husbands wolc, I swear I’m gonna pose him sometime this year, prommyfr) gets Aethersick (yknow, when you teleport to Thav and everybodies like EUUURGH… that, but every time.)

So they’ve passed the time with

-bitching about the Company Of Heroes (two weeks of running back and forth across Eorzea, bitching the whole time about how this shit is all for a banquet, TO CELEBRATE THEM, FOR SOME REASON, and there’s a Primal, like, LOOSE?)

-Singing popular songs (Ishi does it not.. always well… but it’s the heart that counts right?)

Aaand.. honestly sometimes I think they spend a lot of time trying to decide what to make for dinner that evening, or where a good place to let the ‘Bo’s rest is, if it’s not a Pressing Mission, which, let’s be real, after ARR? Everything feels pressing. So conversation tends to turn towards plans for when they get there…

(If Ishi isn’t having to steer/ride they’d like to have something to fiddle with their hands, a puzzle cube, or a math puzzle like Sudoku, tho I dunno if Eorzea would HAVE sudoku… it’s the kind of thing they enjoy lmao)

Edit: forgot to add the link to the ask meme like some kinda sea cucumber [here you go]

[oceansandblades]

Do you like gays with swords?

How about ocean side politics with some magic sprinkled on top? A heaping of that good old fanfiction favorite of watching two dorks pine after each other while everyone else tells them to get a room?

WELL DO I HAVE NEWS FOR YOU

Hi, I’m Ed, a queer queer who really wants a sword and someone to cuddle with, so I self-project through my art. My latest masterpiece is Ocean’s Blade, a low fantasy romance dealing with the heavy subjects of trust, selfishness, shirtless guys and the true meaning of strength.

First meet Rozwell Pendra, also known as Roz, a bi ass bear. Yep, that’s all folks, you can go home. Man with a plan, big sweetie, likes collecting rocks and can bench press. He’s also in charge of the fief Pearlmoor and is kinda bullshiting his way through life. It’s cool though, he knows goddesses. Well, not exactly knows… they follow him around and he hates them. He also might have broken a promise and plunged the entire country into absolute chaos but that wasn’t ALL his fault.

What’s not to love? Sorry, you can’t have him he’s head over heals for his gardener, he just doesn’t know it yet.

Yep, let’s talk about the gay disaster, Kane. The rash and mysterious survivalist. They’re yearning for Roz to hold their hand, a bit of a complete wreck, and are a relatable little shit. Have they killed people? Yes. Did they want to? Nope, but we’ll talk about their angsty backstory later. Just know that they’re kinda fucked up, has PTSD, back pain, and owns sharp knives and knows how to use them.  They also like plants better than real people, the frick’n introverted nerd. Pronouns be wack, Julean gender standards just feel wrong.

Roz also has a few besties, Bitch and Wizard.

Sorry, Blanche Valent and Coi Limmerl. They are disasters. Blanche is basically Roz’s treasurer/right-hand lass, shes a huge ass and thinks the has a huge ass. Nobody likes her so she just wines, drinks wine and knocks stuff of his shelves. Meow.  She will also date anyone who calls her out on her bullshit and is incredibly petty and incredibly pretty Coi does cool magic tricks with water and is a big fat dork who talks in big words that no one knows the meanings of. They are actually pretty powerful and definitely have big dick energy: they destroyed gender a long time ago. Owns the shipping company that used to belong to Roz’s family and is just a cool dude to have around.

Oh, right, plot exists to. Shit. (Do I even know what the plot is??)

Most of the plot is hard to go over without spoilers because it’s a very character-driven story (which is probably the mark of a bad writer, poor me). It mostly focuses on building Roz and Kane's relationship and them trying to combat the mistakes they made in the past. Not a lot of bloody battles in this one folks.

But hey fanfiction readers are all over this shit so I'll be fine.

But now you are probably screaming “Hey Ed what about the sword?” Ah yes. Caliburn. The sassiest inanimate object to ever exist.

Caliburn is a fragment of the core of the planet, broken off, and taken to the surface by the High Goddess, Lady Ocean. It can morph into cool stuff like weapons, jewelry or a cup for your tears tea.

So yeah it's pretty OP; however, it only answers to the High Royal, Julea's ruler. The goddesses pick the Royal to ensure that the Royal is of good heart and is a good leader and all that jazz.

But the people suspect that's not true anymore. The High Royal claims to have true power and shows off the sword at fancy parties, but something is amiss. Reid has been on the throne for far too long with no sign of a successor. No one knows anything and most are too scared to search for answers. Reid is surrounded by her elite team of mercenaries, The Mace, and anyone who questions her authority is violently executed or mysteriously vanishes.

Desperate, the goddesses chose a new Royal, one who could lead the country to prosperity again.

But he thinks he made the wrong choice. He was just a child when he said yes and he wants nothing to do with the throne. The problem? Caliburn has accepted by the goddess's choice. Until their pick dies or takes the throne, there is nothing the goddesses can do. So the Caliburn sits, waiting for its true master to come to claim it.

And it knows what the future holds.