#jemma is witnessing something beautiful

[singularlygiftcdwitch]

𝐥𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐞𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐬.

not only was she a singularly gifted witch, she was also an uncommonly kind woman. she had a way of seeing the beauty in others even more perhaps. most especially when that person couldn't see it in themselves. 

aesthetic : having a heart full of fire offering warmth to those close and scorching remarks to those in the wrong ( the war is trying to douse your fire, but you refuse to lose your spark ), staying up all night to see the sunrise just to make sure it still comes up, wishing on every star in the night sky, organized chaos, a matchstick heart waiting to burn, off-key singing in the shower, the warmth of a sun on your skin, the grim days beginning to overshadow the good days, longing for the irresponsibility of childhood while the weight of expectations press down.

compare to : elizabeth bennet ( pride & prejudice ), dr ellie sattler ( jurassic park ), angelica schuyler ( hamilton ), princess leia ( star wars ), rachel chu ( crazy rich asians ), nancy wheeler ( stranger things ), jemma simmons ( agents of shield ), violet baudelaire (a series of unfortunate events ), elizabeth swann ( pirates of the caribbean ), waverly earp ( wynonna earp ), alice cullen ( twilight ), katara ( avatar : the last airbender ), ciri ( the witcher )

hey isn’t that lily evans? I’ve heard that the 23 year old witch can be be kind of obstinate and brazen, but that might not be true because i also heard the muggleborn can be quite charismatic and compassionate. one of my muggleborn friends thought they were kennedy mcmann, but i have no idea who that is.

☼ pinterest ☼

*:･ﾟ ⸻ 𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐒

full name : lily jane evans nicknames : lily, lils age : 23 birthday / zodiac : january 30th, aquarius blood status : muggleborn gender / pronouns : cis woman & she/her sexual orientation : demisexual romantic orientation : panromantic occupation : healer-in-training former house : gryffindor loyalty : the order

*:･ﾟ ⸻ 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘

personality traits : charismatic, capricious, vivacious, obstinate, impatient, sarcastic, loyal, sharp-witted, compassionate likes : her job, potions, having a good time with friends, bonfires, summer, magical creatures, reading, old records dislikes : cold showers, being early, oranges, romance movies, divination goals & ambitions : to make her parents proud even though they're gone character alignment : neutral good label : the savant, the bibliophile, the insurgent vices : pride, impatience, spite virtues : loyalty, courageousness, compassion

*:･ﾟ ⸻ 𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄

eye color : green hair colour : red hair type/style : long & wavy, typically worn down height : 5'8 build : slender exercise habits : works out regularly, goes running daily dominant hand : right glasses/contacts : n/a tattoos : n/a scars : n/a piercings : ears pierced multiple times faceclaim : kennedy mcmann

*:･ﾟ ⸻ 𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐘

parents : william evans ( father, deceased ), diane evans ( mother, deceased ) siblings : petunia evans ( elder sister, estranged ) children : n/a pets : an old cat named apollo

*:･ﾟ ⸻ 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑

wand : willow wood, unicorn tail hair core, 10 1/4 in., swishy boggart : her loved ones perishing while she stands by and watches, unable to help patronus : doe amortentia : smoke from a fire, blackberry tarts, honeysuckle, homemade caramels

*:･ﾟ ⸻ 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃

as a child, she was filled with wonder at each new day for each new day answered one curiosity and brought a hundred more in its place. her eyes would widen almost comically when she discovered something not easily explained or something she was not ready to understand. not all discoveries were great — both in the sense of size and meaning. finding out her mother had been santa claus all along was meaningful for a brief period in her life. but it also meant her mother loved her enough to let her believe in magic just a little bit longer before age and the loss of wonder would inevitably catch up with her. her elder sister calling her a freak for the first time seemed like such a small thing at the time — just a bit of name calling between siblings who spent too much time together — but was instead a cruel beginning to a tumultuous relationship with someone that she had always assumed would be there for her. even that could not kill her thirst for life and all the adventures it would bring. most discoveries were great ones, ones that filled her imagination to the brim with the many possibilities of life. but every child must grow up and discover for themself that the magic they had clung to as children was gone forever and replaced with the monotony of adult life. but for a lucky few, this moment never comes. lily evans was one of the few. for much of her life, lily has heard the same few words used to describe her. passionate, charming, intelligent, and above all, kind. she has a heart full of fire, offering warmth to those close to her and scorching remarks to those in the wrong. she wasn’t perfect by any means, of course; she was the first to admit that. she wasn’t one to shy from confrontation, especially if another was being wronged. of course, that meant she probably inserted herself into situations when she shouldn’t, but lily was never one to let a perceived bully win. she was stubborn as a mule, as her father always told her, but she wasn’t completely unwilling to change. she’s never struggled to forgive another, but she never forgets what they’ve done to her. but she was so full of life, always wanting to reach higher and higher for whatever was just out of reach. independence almost seemed strange to lily. leaving hogwarts and losing her parents so close to her own entry into the adult world along with the rise of someone who would threaten the entire world truly shaped the way lily began to view the world. she optimistic, but not naive about what was going on in the world. as a child, she had always been told that good always triumphed over evil in the end. as a teenager, she learned that while good may win, there will always be losses. and now? well, things have certainly changed. lily had always been convinced in happy endings, had known everything would be okay in the end. but now it feels like they are approaching the end of the story, and there’s no happy ending in sight.

*:･ﾟ ⸻ 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒

lily got a cat shortly before her sixth year at hogwarts. it was a small thing, the runt of the litter, but she fell in love anyways. it wasn’t supposed to survive, but she recognized the determination and will to live and bottle fed him until he was healthy. she named him apollo, but calls him paul and brought him back to hogwarts with her, calling him her good luck charm. she's had him ever since.

while she is working with the order, she is also in training to become a healer at st. mungo's.

her parents died during her seventh year at hogwarts in a car accident. something so mundane when the world was filled with magic was something that never quite made sense to her. she threw herself into her studies afterwards as a way to cope.

lily’s favorite band is and has always been the beatles mainly due to her parents. they'd always play old records while making sunday morning breakfast, and laugh while dancing around the kitchen. after her parent's deaths, she inherited that record player and od records, and they never fail to cheer her up. some of her favorite memories include the beatles playing in the background.

lily's boggart has changed over the course of her life. when she was a child, it would have taken the form of the boogeyman her father told her stories about. while she was in hogwarts, it took the form of petunia turning her back on her. however after leaving hogwarts and seeing the direction the wizarding world may be heading, when people actually started dying, it took the form of her loved ones perishing while she stood by and watched.

*:･ﾟ ⸻ 𝐏𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐀𝐋 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒

find them here!

[thegreatestofheck]

Heck’s Masterlist

OBX Masterlist

Since some of my fics are getting long, here’s a masterlist of everything I’ve made so far in relation to Outer Banks! It will continually be updated as more fics, blurbs, and requests are added!

Also, my requests are open! I don’t generally do smut, but I’m open to mostly anything else!

JJ Maybank 

Requests:  

Jump -  You are John B’s sister and you’ve been following him around your whole life. After deciding to make your own path, you find yourself caught up with a boy who is no good and JJ is the only one who can get you out of it.

Wedding Dress -  JJ makes a promise to himself that he’s now not sure he can keep.

Run - You’re John B’s sister and after sending him off on the Phantom, it’s up to you to cover for him. But Ward Cameron is still your legal guardian and he comes to collect his property.

Ransom -  John B’s sister is taken by the square groupers. In exchange for her life, they ask for the compass and a heavy ransom price. It’s a race of time as the Pogues, with the help of Sheriff Peterkin, journey into the marsh to save her life before the clock runs out.

Not So Unrequited -  in the middle of an argument with your best friend, he says something to you that you had never wanted to hear.

i love you -  your relationship with JJ had always been rocky, built on a mutual desire for affection. that doesn’t mean he would never break your heart.

fill the void - she always felt alone, so when he needed her most, she couldn’t resist.

promises, promises - You and JJ have an unspoken thing, passed only though stolen glances and half serious flirting. But the day after he takes the fall for Pope, you find yourself standing at a crossroads; do you step in to protect him from his dad, or do you stay out of it?

Series: 

Ocean and Alcohol - (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, Epilogue, Rafe’s POV)  You’re a kook, but your life is less than ideal. After a fight with some of the other kooks, you let slip a little about your home life to one JJ Maybank, who is more than intrigued. (reader insert with a name, tw: abuse, canon content)

Tempest and Gin - (1, 2)   The gold is gone, but Elma’s problems are just beginning. With her dad in police custody and her mom once again AWOL and refusing to pay for legal council, Elma and Ms. Lana struggle to get through the trial with a court appointed lawyer. At the end of her rope, Elma finds herself juggling friends, family, rivals, and enemies as she struggles to keep her wits about her and do the one thing she’s always done; protect Kid.

Girl With No Heartbeat - (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)  After a near death experience, JJ is saved by a girl in the water. When he and the Pogues find her washed ashore the next day, they are more than surprised to discover that she isn’t your everyday girl. (mermaid/siren au, canon divergence) 

Imagines:

Sweet as Honey, Hard as Steel -  JJ’s girlfriend is the complete opposite of everything one would expect. A straight A student with big life goals, Elena has never been the drinking, smoking, fighting type. And JJ wouldn’t have it any other way.

Coward -  Your mom just passed and your absentee father has come to collect you. But that means leaving the life you knew and loved, including your best friend (and a little more), JJ Maybank. But he isn’t ready to hear what you have to say on your last night together. 

Rafe Cameron

Series: 

Fire and Storm - Rafe Cameron had always wanted her. He wanted to be hers and he wanted her to be his. But she wasn’t and he was slowly beginning to realize that he never would be. (this is Rafe’s POV for a bit of another series, Ocean and Alcohol)

Requests: 

Better -  Secretly dating Rafe as JJ Maybank’s sister isn’t the easiest thing, especially when your brother finally learns the truth. 

Imagines: 

Meant to Be Yours -  Rafe Cameron, your boyfriend, was more broken than you realized. He wants more from you than you can give. (based on the song “Meant to Be Yours” from Heathers the Musical)

John B

Imagines: 

Girl Crush -  You spent years yearning after John B, your best friend. You just didn’t realize it until he fell in love with the most beautiful girl on the island...and it wasn’t you. After that, only Sarah Cameron was on your mind. (based on the song “Girl Crush”)

Tethered - (routledge!reader, John B’s little sister) Surfing the surge was a Pogue rite of passage. You had been waiting for the next big storm to show your older brother that you were ready to be one of them. But the storm was stronger than you or your brother could have imagined.

Just Come Home - (routledge!reader, John B’s little sister) You come home one day to find your brother bearing harsh news. 

Series:

By Dawn - (1, 2, 3) John B meets a mysterious girl at his court ordered group therapy. After spending weeks trying to get to know her, he slowly realizes that she’s a tough nut to crack. But then one day, she leaves him a cryptic message...the night before she goes missing. With the disappearance of his father still so raw in his mind, John B refuses to lose anyone else. And he will stop at nothing until he finds her.

Sarah Cameron 

Imagines: 

Girl Crush -  You spent years yearning after John B, your best friend. You just didn’t realize it until he fell in love with the most beautiful girl on the island...and it wasn’t you. After that, only Sarah Cameron was on your mind. (based on the song “Girl Crush”)

Kie Carrera 

Imagines: 

For Forever -  When you’re parents find out that you’ve been secretly dating your best friend, Kie, they go off on you. Afterward, she comforts you, reminding you that blood doesn’t mean family. (tw: homophobia, found family to the max) 

she -  As a Pogue, having a crush on Kie Carrera was almost a prerequisite. You knew that all the boys were crushing on her, at least a little bit, but accepting your own feelings for her is a different matter. (reader has a crush on Kie but isn’t really ready to admit her feelings) 

Requests: 

Nothing More -  You’re secretly dating one of the Pogues and your brother is starting to become suspicious. The only problem; he’s fixated on the wrong friend.

Pope Heyward 

Imagines: 

Nothing to Prove -  Pope helps you with some relationship problems. Later, while hanging out with your boyfriend, you realize that running from your fears got you nowhere and the only place you wanted to be was with Pope. (very soft)

Delivery Boy - With an absent mother and a distant father, you’ve always felt alone living in your empty house. But a certain delivery boy might be the one thing that makes running an estate worth it.

Seires: 

Bare Bones -  (Preview, Theory 1, Theory 2, Theory 3) Pippa Cantu has always been a little…strange. With a knack for knowing everything there is to know about every conspiracy, every mystery, and every weird happening, she doesn’t have much time (or desire) for friends. But when her chemistry lab partner asks her to join him and his friends on a hunt for the Royal Merchant, she just can’t say no.

Kelce 

Series: 

Simple Melancholy -  (2) Jemma “Little J” Maybank finds herself a little over her head when she accidentally falls for a boy from Figure Eight. Between her overly protective brother and Kelce’s incredibly rude friends, neither of them are sure how they’re going to make it, but they’re determined to.

General (Everybody)

Imagines:

Do Not Stand - One of the Pogues passes away and leaves a message for her friends. Each of them take it in a different way. 

Series: 

Little Village - (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, Finale)  As the oldest of the Pogues and John B’s big sister, June always acted as their mother. She helped with assignments and studying, helped pay bills when it was needed, made dinner, reminded them about hygiene. But then she got pregnant and her boyfriend left and suddenly she found herself unable to do all those things she was once able to. When they say it takes a village, she wasn’t entirely sure they meant a bunch of teenagers. (post-canon, I haven’t decided who the love interest will be or if there will be one at all, so that’s why its here)

Requests: 

Homeward Bound -  After spending years abroad at a boarding school, Kie’s sister returns to the Outer Banks. The Pogues quickly realize that, despite her cold exterior, there is a free spirit inside her just longing to break free. 

A Bunch of Love Stories Masterlist - A series of fics based on Taylor Swift’s album “Fearless”. 

Outerbanks Playlist - This is just a list of songs that remind of the Pogues and other characters in the show. A few of the songs are connected to some of my fics as well! 

ATLA Masterlist

Zuko

The Sun, The Moon, and the Stars - She is a non-bender from the Southern Water Tribe who somehow found herself smack in the middle of Fire Nation central, where a young prince is fighting an internal battle she hopes to help him win.

Harry Potter Masterlist

Fred Weasley 

warm - you and your husband survive the second wizarding war, but so do some of Voldemort’s old followers, and they are hell bent on revenge. 

Severus Snape

The Other Her -  Severus Snape had two friends while he was at school. One, every body knew as Lily Evans. The other was you, an unknown student who wanted nothing more than to be noticed by your friend. You couldn’t help but compare yourself to the Gryffindor heartthrob every time he mentioned her name.

Only One -  You return to Hogwarts years later to watch your son’s Quidditch match, only to find yourself a little bit in over your head.

Criminal Minds Masterlist

Derek Morgan

breathe again -  he saved her life and now she has to deal with the aftermath. he’s there to help her every step of the way.

Aaron Hotchner

dark of the night -  an agent gets taken in the middle of an investigation. in a race against time, the team at the bau must find her by diving into her deepest secrets. when a video tape arrives with horrible images of the state of their friends, aaron hotchner realizes just how terrified he is of losing her. 

The Musketeers (BBC) Masterlist

Porthos

enough for you -  the wife of a musketeer reflects on her relationship with her husband while Porthos watches from the sidelines.  

[itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto]

Sleeping with the director.

A/N: Hi everyone! This is my first Matthew Gray Gubler fiction, so I hope y’all enjoy it! This was requested by @hercleverboy​ and I made a few additions to your request bebeh so I hope you like it! I really enjoyed writing it!

It's another week on the set of Criminal Minds, and Matthew is back to being Spencer Reid. Despite what the press says, you fell in love with Matthew, for well, Matthew. You met him at a Halloween store a few years ago, when you worked there as a temporary store assistant whilst you were at University studying to be a film director. Skip to 3 years later, and after a year of dating, you are now Matthew’s girlfriend, but also his best friend. Before you were a couple, you actually appeared on a few of Matthew’s unauthorized documentaries as his ‘personal assistant’ and the only person Matthew was actually nice to on those documentaries. All of his fans adored you, saying how cute as a button you were and how Matthew just had to ask you on a date.

Today, it’s a big day on set, Matthew has to kiss a witness on a case, and as much as you know Matthew would never cheat on you, you can’t help but get jealous at the idea of Matthew kissing another woman, but at least the actress is married. It’s been on your mind since Matthew got the script, and even though you said its fine, part of it isn’t fine for you.

You smile to yourself in Matthew’s trailer, putting up some Halloween decorations to surprise him, and the fact you didn’t tell him you were on set visiting him. The cast have kept him busy all morning, and away from his trailer. “Okay, whenever you’re ready, send in the Gube.” You text AJ, who was the first person you told you were visiting today.

“Anyways, so see you at lunch and for the next scene.” AJ says outside and goes back to do a scene.

“Yeah, see you.” Matthew says, a little down as he hasn’t seen you in a few weeks. There’s only so much a Skype call can do.

He opens his trailer as you quickly lie on his bed, wearing one of his hoodies which could double up as a dress on you. He sighs not seeing you at first, but smiles at the lights assuming Kirsten did them, he then hears a cough and sees you lying on his bed.

“Hi Gube.” You smile, as a few tears form in his eyes.

“Hi pretty face.” He says and takes his shoes off, mis-matched socks of course and scoops you up and peppers your face with little kisses. “I missed you so much. What a lovely surprise.” He says

You giggle at the kisses, “I missed you too.” You say kissing his lips softly which he returns and deepens it quickly.

“Later Gube, I know you have tomorrow off so we can do whatever your dirty mind has planned then.” You wink as he nods just enjoying you being in his arms.

“Nice hoodie.” He says, as much as you’d both love to have sex, you prefer to enjoy it when Matthew doesn’t have a tight schedule and you can fully enjoy each other’s bodies.

“Borrowed it off my boyfriend.” You smile, as he continues kissing your face.

“Hey.. Y/N..” He begins, needing to tell you it’s the kiss scene today.

“Yeah Gube?” You smile, putting your hands on his cheeks, knowing he loves it.

“It’s that scene today…” He whispers as you nod looking down. “Hey.. You know I love you right? She’s just an actress... and you’re so so much more than that.” He says lifting your head gently. “I love you.” He says softly.

“You do?” You say, as a tear rolls down your cheek. Even though last time you saw Matthew you said ‘I love you’ for the first time, him saying it, either in person or Skype, never gets old.

“I do.” He smiles, rubbing your tear from your cheek with his thumb.

“I love you too.” You smile, kissing him again. “Can I watch the scene today?” You ask, you recently graduated and have been freelance directing a few small adverts and short sketches, but Matthew bravely asked the crew if you could direct a few episodes after showing them you’re work and they agreed to let you direct one every five episodes, as you did some work experience on set whilst studying, and formed close friendships with everyone.

“Of course, you don’t need to ask. Are you hungry beautiful?” Matthew asks as his tummy rumbles

“Yes. I didn’t eat breakfast this morning.” You say biting your lip. Some mornings you aren’t hungry, especially if you are due on.

“Aww.” Matthew says, knowing exactly what it is and stands up, holding his hand for you. “Just eat something now and we can get ice cream later, ok?” He offers as you nod.

At lunch, you chat with the cast members, mainly about the next episode you’re directing, and you have brought your big file with you with all of your notes. When Matthew directs, he does drawings of each scene whereas have about a page of notes for each page of the script. “It’s like looking into your mind.” Paget says admiring your handwriting.

“I can’t wait to see if you wear a director scarf.” AJ says, knowing Matthew always wears one when he directs, as do the fans of the show.

“I wear fluffy jumpers and hoodies.” You smile, snuggling into Matthew’s hoodie as a breeze hits you.

Matthew puts his arm around your waist and puts a slice of pizza in front of you.

“Here pretty face.” He says and eats his pizza.

You smile, and eat the pizza noticing he got you the piece with the most cheese on it. “Thanks.” You say kissing his cheek, as the actress who Matthew is kissing in the afternoon walks in. She’s perfect. You try to focus your mind on what Matthew said earlier, but it still likes to pop up every few minutes.

The set bell rings

“You ready lovely?” Matthew asks, holding his hand out for you.

You nod, putting your file back in his trailer quickly and skip over holding his hand.

“You got tomato sauce on your cheek.” You giggle wiping it off with a tissue.

On set

“Okay so Matthew, if you stand here.. Elizabeth.. Here please. So, remember she’s distraught about her terrible date and Matthew, Spencer, offers to make it better.. and you both kiss.” The director says, as you bite your lip to prevent you from saying anything you shouldn’t.

During the kiss, you notice Matthew seems a little off and a little nervous, which is strange as he has done this show for ten years, he knows what he is doing.

“ACTION.” He calls and the scene starts and finishes with the kiss. “CUT. Now, a different angle.” He says as everyone gets back into position.

“Can I suggest something?” You ask the director, Sam.

“Sure.” Sam smiled, always happy to listen to your thoughts. “Jemma, can you do Elizabeth’s make up please?”

“Don’t hate me.” You began as Sam laughed, “But what if I was the witness? Matthew looks really uncomfortable kissing Elizabeth, I’m not saying that because I’m Matthew’s girlfriend, but if you watch it back, you can see how tense he looks.” You say

“Now who’s a profiler in real life?” Matthew chuckled sipping his coffee. “But you’re right my queen… I feel a bit odd kissing a woman that isn’t my girl. Sam, can we give it a shot?”

Elizabeth kicks up a scene, and Sam rolls his eyes at her. The actress has a history of making a scene if things don’t go the way she wants.

After a quick change, you walk back on set. “How do I look?” You ask giving a twirl.

“Adorable but I do prefer you in my hoodies.” Matthew said

Sam gives you some stage directions and Matthew’s stay the same.

“ACTION.” He calls and after a few takes, “CUT!”

But you and Matthew are still kissing, Sam doesn’t say anything and neither does anyone else.

After a few moments, you break the kiss. “I’m sorry.” You say to Matthew looking down.

“Why are you sorry boo?” Matthew asks, putting his hands on your waist.

“Because I got jealous… and well, I didn’t like watching what I saw.” You pout.

“Hey.. When I kissed her, between us, it was awful, and I’d much rather get paid to kiss my girlfriend than some actress. But, kissing you is payment in itself.” Matthew reassured you.

“You’re an idiot, but you’re my idiot.” You smile

“I love you.” Matthew says

“I love you too.” You smile.

The rest of the day, you re-shot the scenes with you being the witness on the case and starting to go through your ideas of how you are going to direct the next episode. In the evening, you and Matthew had your ice cream date, followed by watching a film and having sex a few times.

“Wow.” You say lying next to Matthew and snuggle into his arms after you come down after your orgasms.

Matthew laughs, kissing your forehead admiring your naked body as you kiss all over his chest. “It’s adorable how you assumed we’d be having sex tomorrow... Not tonight.” He said

You roll your eyes and giggle, “Can’t help it when I’m dating a sex god who got horny watching me lick an ice cream.”

Matthew laughed kissing your forehead again. “I can’t believe I slept with the director!”

You roll your eyes, “Just don’t tell your girlfriend.” You say, giggling after trying to keep it together.

“I love you.” Matthew smiles, kissing your lips softly and he waits until you close your eyes before he closes his.

“I love you too.” You smile and go to sleep.

A/N: Well, I hope y’all enjoyed that! My requests are open if anyone has any requests for either Matthew or Spencer. Please comment below, or send me a message if you’d like to be on my taglist!

Taglist: @pumpkin-goob​ , @jpegjade​ , @andiebeaword​ , @hopebaker​ , @hotchsbabygirl​ , @hercleverboy​ , @cupcake525​ , @gubetube​ , @aperrywilliams​ , @cosmic-psychickitty​ , @marleyhotchner​ 

[maastrash]

41 and 13 please?

Forever Stuck With You 

co written with my bff @verryberriess hope you all enjoy! (ps the prompts were “have you lost your fucking mind” and “I could kiss you right now”)

masterlist // ao3

Rowan Whitehorn couldn’t help but smile as he watched his beautiful wife spin in circles, arms flailing, as she let the sea breeze cool her flushed cheeks. Red-faced, Aelin might have had one too many fruity cocktails from their dinner at the small diner, hidden within Whalers Village. Rowan had wanted to end their Hawaiian honeymoon watching the stars from the beautiful, white-sanded Lahaina beach behind the restaurant, but Aelin just couldn’t seem to sit still. 

Throughout the duration of their dinner, he watched Aelin slowly lose control over her speech and movement. Her words slurred together, eyes becoming heavy-lidded, yet she still seemed so alive. Her voice became louder, movements more dramatic, it was a miracle she hadn’t broken anything. Rowan knew he was starting to feel the effects of the alcohol as well when he couldn’t stop smiling at the utter perfection that was his wife. He lost all sense of time as he watched her smile back at him. He truly admired her so much. She was a ball of energy, his Fireheart. There was nothing else he needed in this life, but her. 

Rowan currently carried a checkered, red and white picnic blanket underneath his arm, along with a fluffy throw blanket he had stolen from their hotel suite. After walking up and down the stretch of the whole beach, Aelin seemed to have finally sobered up. Her gait had steadied and she appeared even-tempered in her movements, no longer stumbling across the loose, powdery sand. 

Content, Rowan set down the picnic blanket and called out to Aelin, “Would my lovely wife care to join me in watching the stars this evening?”

As Rowan made himself comfortable, he glanced in Aelin’s direction. She slowly made her way towards him and settled next to him, her golden blue eyes less clouded as she pressed a feather-light kiss to his cheek before cuddling into his side. Aelin beamed, “I would love nothing more.”

The couple sat together for a few moments enjoying the sounds of the waves crashing against the rocks. They listened to the rhythm of the tides rolling in and out towards the shores, the subtle chirping of field crickets hidden somewhere in the grassy field behind them, and enjoyed the night sky that loomed above them. The contrast between the dark blue, and purple hues compared to the glowing, radiant stars supplemented Aelin’s and Rowan’s awe of the scenery. But of course, Aelin couldn’t sit for long. Soon she was up and dragging Rowan along with her to where the sand met the sea. Holding hands, they walked further into the water. Shallow enough to walk through easily, but deep enough so the waves hit them just below their knees.

They stood in the water, and Aelin wrapped her arms around Rowan’s torso. In response, Rowan pulled her close and breathed in her lemon verbena scent as he held her against him. He could live in this moment forever. Standing in the most beautiful place on earth with the love of his life in his arms, Rowan could not wish for a more perfect memory. 

His thoughts, however, were soon interrupted as Aelin suddenly ripped herself from his grasp and began sprinting full force into the middle of the ocean. Maybe she was not as sober as he had thought. 

He watched as his Fireheart became an absolute menace in the water. Her splashing, coupled with the oncoming waves, led to a completely drenched Aelin stuck in the clothing she had not bothered to take off. “Come out here Buzzard, the water is perfect,” she called, not seeming to mind her current situation.

Rowan laughed at the utter ridiculousness of his wife. Only she would run into the ocean, fully clothed, in the middle of the night. “Have you lost your fucking mind Fireheart,” he laughed softly. “What if a shark eats you?”

“I’d like to see a shark try to take me down,” Aelin countered confidently.

Rowan rolled his eyes but swam out to his wife anyways. While the water had only reached up to his torso, Aelin floated. Aelin wrapped her legs around his waist and secured her arms on his neck. “I could kiss you right now,”  she whispered against his ear. 

“Why don’t you then?” he asked, raising a brow.

“Because then I couldn’t do this.” Before Rowan could react, Aelin had jumped on top of him. She tackled him into the water and quickly leaped off. When he resurfaced, wiping the salt water from his eyes, Rowan witnessed Aelin clutching her sides, barely able to breathe from laughing at his short demise.

Rowan narrowed his eyes and glared at her jokingly, “You’re gonna regret that.” He ran his fingers through his wet hair and tried to appear threatening. He could only imagine how he must have appeared. He had his hands at his hips trying to replicate an imposing stance, but he probably more or less resembled a wet dog. He wouldn’t allow Aelin the satisfaction of his discomfort, despite his inward cringe at the fact that his soaked clothes now stuck to his skin.

“Oh yea,” Aelin teased. “Come and get me.”

Aelin used the momentum of an incoming wave to push her back towards the shore. By the time Rowan made it back to the picnic blanket, Aelin was already eagerly awaiting his arrival. Rowan stood transfixed. She had taken off her wet dress and laid against the blanket only in her undergarments. Her damp hair spread out beneath her and left trails of water around the blanket. Aelin had fixed her arm to hold her head under her palm, lying on her side in order to show off the black and gold, lacy lingerie she had recently purchased. It was a floral lace garter bodysuit, black with gold-accented flowers along the plunging neckline, emphasizing her curves and revealing cleavage. The piece had caught her eye after she remembered Rowan’s deep appreciation for her shimmering golden nightgown. By the look on Rowan’s face, Aelin could tell this was an even greater success than the first. 

She made a mental note to thank the kind shop lady for suggesting her a waterproof fabric. 

“Do you worst,” she winked as he approached. 

Rowan couldn’t stop running his eyes over Aelin. The moonlight illuminated the outlines of her face so perfectly, adding to her already vibrant glow. The dim lighting highlighted her prominent collar bones, he couldn’t help but imagine himself leaning in and burying her with kisses upon kisses from her jaw down to her shoulders. Rowan would be lying if he said he wasn’t tempted to take her right there on the beach, but his need for revenge outweighed his roaring desire. That didn’t mean he couldn’t have a little of his own fun though. 

He slowly stalked towards Aelin, watching her closely to note her any change in facial expression. He took his time, intentionally stalling his steps before he reached her. And when he did so, he slowly crawled on top of her form, putting into practice what he had so vividly imagined earlier. He first started at her jaw, slowly descending his trail of kisses towards her neck to the slight of her shoulders. His wet hair left behind their own path against her skin, marking his every action he took upon.

Rowan glanced at Aelin, taking in her current state. Her eyes were closed and she breathed deeply. Although she lay sprawled across the blanket leaning into Rowan’s touch, it wasn’t enough. Not even close. He needed to taste her, needed to hear her. Roughly capturing her lips and moving his hand from her neck to cup her face, he kissed her slowly. He allowed his other hand to roam free and reach for something hidden in the sand next to them. Once he took hold of what he needed, he quickly maneuvered their bodies. Like a dance, Rowan flipped them around, airborne for milliseconds to quickly wrap the sherpa throw around their frames. It wasn’t long before they were tangled with each other. They were as close as physically possible with Aelin’s body now resting atop of Rowan’s, his arms encircled her waist while the throw expertly encased them. There was absolutely nothing separating them now. 

Aelin’s cheek squished against Rowan’s chest. She peered up at him within their human burrito,  “Ok, you got me,” Aelin sighed, defeated. She would have raised her hands in surrender, but they were glued to her side. “Can you unroll us now?” 

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay like this? I must admit, I quite enjoy it,” Rowan said pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“Yes I’m sure, you’re squishing my face you oaf. Plus I’m already stuck with you forever we don’t have to make it literal,” Aelin joked. 

Rowan laughed, as he unwrapped one of his arms around Aelin and pushed out of the throw blanket that encased them. He unrolled Aelin and helped her sit up, extending a hand to her, “Payback’s a bitch.”

“Mhm whatever,” Aelin mumbled. She crawled into Rowan’s lap and rested her head on him. “I’ll be sure to get you tomorrow.” 

Rowan chuckled softly to himself as he ran his fingers through Aelin’s hair, massaging her scalp. She leaned into his touch before slowly drifting off to sleep. Once her breathing evened out, Rowan laid down as well, gently pulling Aelin to his side and assembling the fleece blanket to unfold on top of them. Soon, he too was lulled to sleep by the sound of the waves. The couple slept all through the night, wrapped in each other’s arms beneath the glimmering blanket of stars - the perfect end to a perfect honeymoon.

Tags: @illyriangarbage // @court-of-fuck-me-daddy  // @girlnovels // @aelinninielelain // @julesherondalex // @rosehallshadowsinger // @ifangirlninja // @dreamerforever-5// @queen-of-wings-and-fire // @rhysanoodle  // @jemma-nessian-and-elriel // @books-and-words-addict  // @nightinshadow // @wolffrising // @the-regal-warrior  // @dreamingofalba // @abillionlittlepieces // @alitzeldiaz // @kylizzles // @queenmaas // @illyrian-bookworm // @aspillofstars // @b00kworm // @tswaney17 // @girl-who-reads-the-books // @theshadowsinger-and-thefawn // @abraxos // @perseusannabeth // @acourtofmarauders // @sweetlyvillainous // @awesomelena555 // @notyournymphetish // @ladywitchling // @aesthetics-11 // @sjmships // @iammissstark // @illyrianwitchling13 // @moondancer-204 // @sjm-things // @foolsinlove // @sayosdreams // @welcometothespeaknowworldtour // @flourishandblottsx // @stardelia // @julemmaes // @thewayshedreamed // @texas-shaped-waffle-maker // @keshavomit // @superspiritfestival // 

[captainjimothycarter]

Prompt: okay so Peggy is de-aged and Steve finds out but he’s far away undercover. Like worst timing ever so she gets on the phone and he races to her—big heartfelt reunion and everyone is there to witness and it’s beautiful, but don’t forget the snark. Maybe avengers didn’t really believe that their relationship was so pure 😱😭😭😭♥️

Oh my god so i am on sleepy pain meds bc i hurt my back and this might be the worst thing i’ve ever done.

--

Everything about this was hushed-hushed, no one was to know. Of course, naturally at Shield that meant everyone knew but the intended people. That meant when Peggy found herself waking up to a body that was only in distant memory, Steve was nowhere to be found. It didn’t take much prodding from a Doctor Banner and or Jemma Simmons to get an answer as to where exactly he was.

Over 400,000 miles away. Undercover. On some vital information that is meant to save their asses in some case or another.

Peggy was not a patient woman, even if Banner and Simmons kept her busy with all these tests. Even if they were the most patient people in the world when it came to Peggy suddenly getting her old body back and being right as rain. She understood the need for tests to see if she ran in tip-top shape and wasn’t going to deteriorate but what she really wanted was to call Steve.

How could no one see what was important to her?

Well, maybe some people did.

The lab was empty as Jemma brought her in for another round of testing, her face stoic as she brought her into a new room with just a table and a phone. She pressed a finger to her lip and motioned that she had one call to make and a timer on the clock said she had a few set minutes. 

“Thank you,” she breathed to her, pulling Jemma into a tight hug. She had to be mindful of her strength now, given the serum.

“I know how it feels to be separated from your life partner, even if this case it’s just miles.” The look in her eyes told a story that Peggy wanted to dissect. Later, she told herself. “Banner and I will keep people ready but if you hear us bang on the door, drop the call.”

That’s all Peggy needed.

She found herself clinging to the simple block of a phone that was meant for satellite calls, listening to the breaking dial tone. Then the click. The heavy breathing. The slight pain in his breath, like he was reminding himself to breathe.

“Fury? Coulson? What-what is it? We’re sorta busy - there’s…”

Oh, his voice. That beautiful tone. Even if the break in it made her worry about the pain he was in.

“Hello? Is anyone there? Oh, fuck. Sam, duck!”

She could hear crashing, a pause, then laughter from Steve that made her eyes sting and her heart soar.

“Steve,” she breathed, feeling the tears roll down her cheeks. She didn’t bother to wipe them off.

“Peggy?” He sounded about as shocked as she did. “Peggy is that you? Where...how…?”

“It’s a long story,” she laughed. “De-aged thanks to your blood samples, a project I did not approve of but I am glad they did it anyway.” She flinched at a loud screech and clung to the phone. “Steve? Steve! Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, doll. I’m okay.” He sighed over the phone, hearing his own aggression. “I’ll be right there. Don’t leave HQ. Sam, we gotta go!” 

“Be careful and…” She clung to the phone like it was her lifeline. “Don’t you dare fly a plane, Rogers. I mean it.”

“I love you too.” 

Even over the phone, she could hear that trademark smirk as the line died on them just in time for Jemma to open the door.

--

“So the rumors are true?” Jemma asked her when they weren’t exactly alone an hour later. She stood beside Peggy as the new patient was jogging lightly on the treadmill. Banner was on the other side of the room, doing something on the computer. 

Steve had just been confirmed to be coming back in-land and it would take a few hours. There was another agent or two here, someone by the name of Bobbi, working beside Jemma and adjusting the monitor to Jemma’s height. Someone named Fitz was with Banner and given Jemma’s heart eyes on him, she could guess that was her life partner. 

“I suppose we’re no longer at our war nor am I officially his liason, so yes,” Peggy mused, slowing the speed down to a small trot. “Steve and I were...together.”

“I thought that was only for the history books?” Banner mused, looking over his shoulder at her. “Y’know, the hero gets the girl sorta thing.”

“He didn’t get me,” Peggy scoffed, rolling her eyes. “It’s complicated.”

“I think those two know a thing or two about complicated,” Bobbi mused, her head bobbing towards Fitz and Jemma. She looked downright amused. “As do I.” 

“It…” Peggy sighed as she hit the stop button much to Jemma’s frowning. “Simmons, I’ve been at this all morning. I am fine. Anyway...Steve and I were in a relationship before…” Her throat tightened just at the thought alone. Before...he sacrificed himself for the greater good and took a piece of her with him.

“Miss Carter,” Fitz suddenly spoke, seeing the look on Peggy’s face. He shared a look with Jemma, rolling his stool over to her. “Why don’t we go for a stroll in the garden, hm? I take it you had some personal touches in the plants there? Jemma and Dr. Banner can run the analysis on your tests before they treat you like another dancing monkey.”

“I’d like that,” Peggy sighed, pulling her hair off of her neck in an attempt to cool down.

--

Turns out, it wasn’t just Banner who doubted her relationship. Tony did too. Even Fury. Everything seemed to relate to the history books of a picture-perfect tale of them together just for Steve to lose her. 

The only people who seemed to understand were those working under Coulson. Even Phil Coulson seemed to understand their relationship to a degree. Though, Fitz and Jemma seemed to understand on a personal level and their young love...it made Peggy’s heart swell. 

By the time she got the notification Steve’s plane was in the area, Peggy was freshly showered and being lead up to the docks by Jemma, Fitz, and Bobbi. Suddenly the people part of Steve’s team had other things to do.

She could barely sit still as the plane landed and the ramp was lowered. Steve was not the first one-off. The first one-off, basically running off before the ramp was fully lowered was a tall, muscular, yet slender blonde with purple hearing aids. She watched him throw himself to Bobbi, knocking them both to the ground. Who she could only assume was Sam was next, the man giving her a trademark wink that reminded her of Gabe Jones, before hugging FitzSimmons to his chest and helping Bobbi up.

Steve did not get off and she feared the worst. 

“He fell asleep behind the wheel,” Sam whispered to her, patting her shoulder. “Told ‘im not to pilot but he said they’d get there faster.”

“The bastard,” Peggy sighed. “Never bothers to listen to a thing I say.” 

Ignoring the reunions around him, she jogged inside and passed the small cots and a few labeled containers that Fitz was carefully grabbing. She found Steve as Sam had promised. Behind the controls, head tucked into his chest. The few stray hairs falling onto his forehead, chin rising with every breath he took. 

He was breathtaking and Peggy’s eyes brimmed with tears. She dropped to her knees beside him, hearing Jemma pause as she looked over to make sure their prized science experiment didn’t just die on them. 

“Oh, darling,” Peggy breathed, her red painted nails [habits died hard] reached out to touch his cheek, stroking the soft stubble. Her hand moved to push his hair out of his face and smiled at how a lock fell right back. “Working yourself to the bone again. Don’t you know when to rest?”

“He does not,” Clint mused, crossing his arms and leaning into the entranceway. “I think you know that by now.”

“And I know you follow suit and are avoiding medical,” Bobbi pointed out, wrapping an arm around her boyfriend’s waist. “Come on. Before Hunter and Bucky see you like this, you idiot. Did you break another rib?”

Peggy ignored them as they left, leaning up to gently press a tender kiss to Steve’s lips. She was met with a flutter of baby blue eyes that brought her back to the first time she saw them. A scrawny Brooklyn Native covered in red dust and in a helmet far too big for him. He smiled against her lips, eyes still hazy with sleep.

“Are you an angel?” he whispered, pressing their foreheads together but making no other moves. She was sure he stopped breathing.

The question made Peggy laugh. “No, darling, no. I don’t think that statement has worked on anyone.”

“Damn.” He rubbed at his eyes and yawned, having enough courtesy to turn his head before he wrestled Peggy into his arms. He couldn’t care about their little crowd. He needed her. Hastily kissing her lips like he needed to breathe.

“You two are disgusting,” a voice snorted from the entranceway. 

Peggy didn’t even need to look up to know Steve had thrown the shield haphazardly at Bucky. 

“We’re making up for lost time,” Steve groaned, pulling away from Peggy with kiss-swollen lips. “You don’t gotta look.”

“How can I not when you’re kissing right in front of me? Hiya, Pegs.” Bucky wrapped her up in a hug and kissed the side of her face, letting Steve drag his weary body out of the chair. “Do me a favor and get this sap home.”

“Consider it done. I think we need to christen the bed anyway,” she mused thoughtfully.

Bucky’s expression was everything to her as Steve wrapped her up in a hug and half carried her off of the ship.

--

“Hang on it’s real?” 

Tony breathed, turning to point his wooden spoon threateningly at Peggy’s face. She easily batted the spoon away with her own, making him pout.

“What’s real?” Steve sighed, dropping into the stool beside Peggy with his own coffee from the counter. “Our relationship?”

“Yes! I thought that was just a...thing Howard and you made up! I didn’t think you and Cap actually got together!” 

Peggy rolled her eyes, draining the last of her tea. “Christ, is everyone going to say that?”

“I mean, I thought you two boned or kissed, but…” Clint mused from the couch, his leg up in the air to wave in their direction. “Not like kiss-kiss.”

“What are you twelve?” Natasha snickered. “Of course they were together. Don’t you see how Steve pined after her? Even in just her photos at the museum.”

“Aw, you pined after her?” Bucky breathed, earning an elbow from Steve. “Oh c’mon, punk, I had to live with this dancing around one another crap for years before Hydra finally put me out of my misery.”

“Hey, not funny,” Steve grumbled. “Still not funny. That will never be funny. And we didn’t dance around one another.”

“It is funny. I told yah, I was found before you and everything.” Bucky huffed, stealing a croissant from Tony’s hand to bite into. “And yes you did. Pegs, tell him.”

“I wasn’t dancing around,” Peggy mused, refilling her mug. “Steve was the dancing monkey.”

“I see where you two learned it from,” Bobbi teased, throwing a look where Fitz and Jemma were sitting on the other end of the couch from Clint’s prodding foot.

“If everyone can stop taking the mickey out on all of us that would be great,” Fitz over dramatically sighed. “Steve and Peggy can finally be together, thanks to this genius.” He squeezed Jemma’s frame to him, making her flush. 

“And Dr. Banner,” Peggy pointed out. “Where is he, by the way? I haven’t seen him since we left.”

“Vacation. Something about this was a favor to the history books,” Bobbi mused, waving her hand. “So, you two...Pegs, when’s the wedding date? And don’t tell me not yet. You two finally get to be together. I think you and FitzSimmons over there need to do a double destination date.��

Peggy and Jemma shared a look from over the table, making Steve laugh. “I wouldn’t say no to that. What do you say, Miss Simmons?”

“I’ll draw up the wedding plans.”

My tip jar

[tortured-swiftie]

@revouries sorry it took so long but here is my full list of song recs! Ps - it is loooooong

So I’m still very surprised anyone is even interested in this but its a really cool thing to share! This playlist has taken me close to a decade to create and I’ve been asked to share it with you all! Fair warning - heavy spoilers, and a lot is based on ship angst, don’t come for me. Also I have only read TDA twice and its been maybe a year since I did so I don’t remember everything perfectly. I had a lot more time with TMI because I read them for years and years. TID & TLH don’t really have soundtracks for me, because of the time period these modern songs really feel wrong when I read those series.

TMI :

Battle in Hotel Dumort in CoB -

- I’m So Sorry - Imagine Dragons

The pace of this song, the sinister notes, the danger it invokes just brings this scene alive. But also, this is the first time Clary feels like a Shadowhunter. She fights and its not terrible. She feels powerful instead of like a liability. Shes able to hold her own while talking to a clan of vampires. Its badass and fits the song.

Seelie Court kiss scene in CoA -

- The Violet Hour - The Civil Wars

Its such a beautifully haunting song, its sweet on the one hand but something wrong lies underneath it. It is so so perfect, because Clace is getting what they’ve wanted, but by hurting those around them. They get to give in for once, without the guilt attached, they have someone to blame for all this. But it ends on this very uneasy note, because it isnt right. So much of it is not right and Clace are not satisfied because it wasn’t a real kiss or real declaration of love

Jace and Clary after the meeting with the Seelie Queen in the Institute in CoA -

- Black Flies - Ben Howard

This is a very Jace song for me. Its quiet, peaceful, but the words are hurtful and honest. “No man is an island” fits him so perfectly at this time in his life where he feels abandoned by Valentine, abandoned by Mayrse, abandoned by literally everyone so he wants to make it worse by committing to Clary. She is so unsure of him because of the repercussions it would cause and he wants her in this moment because of the repercussions. He wants to isolate himself so he cant be hurt by those he loves.

Jace meets Valentine on the boat CoA -

- Silence Worth Breaking - Brooke Annibale

This is where Valentine really shows off how manipulative he is, and as a reader you start to believe how easy it would be to get around to his way of thinking. imo this is the best villain CC has written, because you find yourself agreeing with him sometimes and he makes it difficult to argue from a different perspective. The first time I read this scene I was convinced he was going to go with Valentine. The song is foreboding, it is anxious, and makes you think something bad is around the corner, which at this point in the book you feel like something bad is bound to happen

Simon is about to die on the back of Luke’s truck end of CoA-

- Wait - M83

This just perfectly conveys the grief and fear and guilt Clary feels when she thinks Simon is about to die. She brought him into this life, he turned into a vampire because of her, he was tortured by Valentine because of her and just as they saved him he is going to die. Its the loss of innocence and childhood for Clary. Simon is the last piece of it stripped away from her. First her mum, then her belief system in her whole world, then Luke, and now Simon. She is stripped all the way down to the bone of her identity and this scene is quick, but intense for this reason for me.

Clary and Jace meet up for lunch at the end of CoA -

- Distance - Christina Perri

This is such a sad song, and the sweetness of Christina Perri’s voice pairs beautifully in this scene with a feeling of a bittersweet kind of resigned acceptance. Clary had wanted so bad for Jace to let her go, she had convinced herself that her feelings weren’t that strong. And now here she is accepting her true feelings and ready to kind of wrap Jace around herself like a security blanket and he tells her exactly what she wanted to hear earlier. Except now she has to be a big girl and face her life without anyone holding her hand. She has to grow up and thats what makes this scene so sad, this is Clary realising its time to grow up.

Clary and Jace find Ithuriel in CoG -

- Goodbye Godric - Nathan Barr

This song was always ethereal and otherworldly, the notes are awe inspiring and convey this grief that is so abstract and not individualistic, it is beyond the human experience. Clary and Jace’s complete altruism and empathy in this scene matches with the grieving tones, how helpless they feel at this beautiful creatures pain, and how much they want to do something but they don’t know what. Then Ithuriel shows them visions and its even worse than they imagined. The misery that exists in these walls caused by Valentine, the waste of energy and life and soul is amplified by the music. The music soars as Ithuriel is set free, and the manor home crumbles.

Clary and Jace make out session outside the newly ruined Wayland Manor CoG -

- Maybe Tomorrow - Stereophonics

This wild abandon kissing perfectly matches the mood and pace of this song. Its all over the place, its messy, its confusing. Its giving into pure passion. Its abandoning any pretences they have built up and watching reality crash back down on them.

Isabelle wants Simon to distract her after Max dies in CoG -

- Not Everything Was Better In The Past - Fink

This is such a tenderly played song, and is easy on the ears, but there is a rawness there. Isabelle is completely stripped away, raw grief and anger and guilt eating away at her. When she lets Simon in she is ferocious and wants to show him her toughness. But Simon sees through it all to a scared young girl who is lost in this sea of grief. Its a sweet Sizzy moment

Jace telling Clary he loves her for the first time in CoG -

- Leave a Light On (ACOUSTIC) - Tom Walker

Jace shouldering the responsibility of finding Valentine by himself, essentially sacrificing himself to the cause, hes grief stricken, and yet feels barred from that grief. I know we experienced this scene from Clary’s POV but this song works so well from his POV. He wants to tell the girl he loves how he feels, he wants one night with her to feel normal and feel loved, and to pretend just for a little while that there is nothing wrong with that. This very stripped version of the song is much much much more raw, and that’s what Jace feels like in this scene, all the walls are down and he wants to show his real face to this one girl

Clary showing off her rune skills in the council chamber in CoG -

- I Found - Amber Run

This was the first scene I imagined from a filmmaking perspective, how to best present this scene. I imagined this entire scene from Jocelyn’s POV, frame by frame, as she walks into the council room very quietly and watches her baby walk up and address everyone in desperation, voice shaking but standing her ground. Grown, bigoted, adults judging her and are fearful but she is still showing them what she’s worth. I imagined Jocelyn’s entire world view shifting because she is in awe of this powerful girl Clary has become. She watches her daughter no longer as a little girl but as a formidable Shadowhunter that could handle the cards she had been dealt in life. Just a very transformative moment and pivotal in how we see Clary in the TSC universe

Lilith takes over Jace’s mind and disappears with Sebastian at the end of CoFA-

- I’ll Keep Coming - Low Roar

This song starts out so uneasy, it cant settle down, and that’s exactly how I feel when Jace sends Clary downstairs. I want to scream at her to stay, but knowing Lilith would always take over no matter what. Its a very dark moment, because no one wants to lose control of themselves and it must have been pretty scary at first. Its an anxious scene, paired with an anxious song

Magnus takes happy memories away in CoLS -

- Howl - Jake Houlsby

Magnus is looking very sad when he does this, especially what he says to Simon. Its such a knowing look, Magnus is no stranger to this kind of sorrow, but still to be witness to it over and over must take its toll. It just makes me think of the endless road stretching out ahead of him and how lonely and terrifying that must feel for him. Just a beautiful song to go with a sad moment in this scene

Clary at the Faerie club with Jace and Sebastian CoLS -

- Faded - Alan Walker

- Darkside - Alan Walker

At this point in the story you feel a lot like Clary is getting too comfortable and is maybe losing sight of the mission she’s on. These two songs are very club sounding to me, and tonally fits the mood of the chapter. Clary is quite literally lost in that moment with the Faerie drugs and the dancing and the atmosphere

Clary dancing with Sebastian CoLS -

- Daddy Issues - The Neighbourhood

First of all lyrically….it cannot get more perfect. “Go ahead and cry little girl nobody does it like you do, I know that you got daddy issues. And if you were my little girl, Id do whatever I could do…” it just conveys the creepiness of Sebastians interactions with Clary and how weird she felt when he was dancing with her and how wrong it felt. This is a very short moment in this chapter but it really creeped me out. And this song conveys perfectly this feeling of haziness of the Faerie drugs and this uneasiness that surrounds Sebastian

Simon drinks from Isabelle CoLS -

- Harvest Love - Tash Sultana

This is a pretty soulful, sensual song. And when Simon drinks from Isabelle and he describes the euphoria that comes with that, the description of how his nerves react to the fresh blood just remind me of the part in this song where the drums and music soars the highest (start around 3:32, and it reaches its peak around 4:48) its honestly one of the sexiest scenes CC has written, even including all the Jemma scenes

Magnus and Alec break up in CoLS -

- Evergreen - Ben Howard

First time reading this I was so so angry at Alec, and felt the sorrow and anger coming off Magnus. This song is very dark, and very sinister. Magnus completely misunderstood what Alec was trying to do, and applied the most sinister meaning to his actions. It is their perfect breakup song imo full of angst

Clary traps the Heavenly Fire into her sword in CoHF -

- Outro - M83

This is another scene I imagined cinematically. The first half of the song is where Clary slowly makes her way over to Jace and she suddenly has faith in herself that she can do this. Then we watch her take Jace’s hands as the radioactive wind sounds start and the flames are swirling around them but not touching them. Cut to Magnus and Luke seeing the colour on the horizon, and the flash that shows its over. Cut back to Clary drawing the Heavenly Fire into the sword as the music swells around her. The words are so so powerful, and they always felt very ethereal to me “I’m the King of my own land” This is Clary fully embracing her power and fully utilising it. Its no longer something separate from her, but she IS her power.

Clary killing Sebastian, pretty much a lot of the scenes before the time jump CoHF-

- Saturn (both acoustic and original version) - Sleeping At Last

This song is definitely an end of film/book / end of heroes journey material. Simon sacrificing himself so they can get back, Clary killing Sebastian and forgiving him, Clary scattering the ashes of Sebastian and finally grieving the past years trauma (all of the TMI journey), the Faeries being condemned by the Clave and Helen getting exiled. Its beautiful, its sad, its momentous, its not a regular song.

Alec finds Magnus in Edom in CoHF -

- I Of The Storm - Of Monsters and Men

The steady drum beat adds a sense of steadiness and calmness in this song. Its not a joyful getting back together but they’re both glad the other is alive and are both forgiving each other. For me, this is when I truly started shipping Malec. The growth, the strength of character begins from this moment. This is when they become a couple I love because this is when they commit to each other flaws and all

Isabelle introduces herself to Simon at the end of CoHF -

- Golden Dandelions - Barns Courtney

Isabelle has always felt like a full punch character, no half measures and all that. The feeling Simon describes when he first spots this beautiful girl walking directly up to him is how this song starts, for me at least. The drums, the barely contained excitement, the curiosity, and faint recognition. This song is a full punch song right from the get go and it felt like such a remarkable Isabelle moment

After Jocelyn & Luke’s wedding in COHF -

- From Gold - Novo Amor

It is such a bittersweet, and peaceful song. There are so many endings in this scene, and so many new beginnings. They are all grieving, one way or another, and are all allowing themselves to evolve. Their journey is over, and at the end of this book I had this sense of saying goodbye to these characters (retiring them so to speak) because I wasn’t sure how much they would be involved with the future of the TSC world. Im glad they are still a big part of it, but they will never be the main focus again.

TDA:

Julian and Emma dance in LM -

- Give Me Love - Ed Sheeran

The sexual tension, and the dread they both feel because of their feelings just makes this scene so dramatic to me, and this song softens it a little. Especially if you are re-reading the series you feel this tenderness because they so badly wanted to avoid falling in love

Mark and Kieran in the Hunt -

- Dance Me To The End of Love - The Civil Wars

This is a pretty offbeat quirky song, a little sad, a little wistful, a little mournful, sensual, but tones of wildly abandoning all you know and giving into baser desires. Whenever Mark thinks of his time with Kieran in the Hunt, his memories sound like this song. They experienced very high highs, and very low lows. They were degraded, the lowest you could possibly feel as a living creature. Yet they were riding into the night, sleeping under the stars in places only known to Faeries. There was no one watching them, and no one to stop them from being together. There is tenderness in their relationship, but also knowledge that they are only together because they have no one else. Its happiness without truly feeling like you have a choice about it. You have to be happy together because you cant find this happiness elsewhere. They are forced into being in love a little bit, because the alternative is so much worse. This is one of the reasons why I couldn’t ship them at first, because they hadnt really chosen each other. Only when they were presented with other options and they till chose each other did I start seeing their potential.

Julian and Emma on the beach LM -

- Next To You - Of Rust & Bone

This scene completely took me by surprise, and is very unlike CC because love scenes normally take place quite late into any series she has. This one was filled with anxiety, and tension because the characters quite literally fell into their feelings. There was no forethought, no sense of taking stock of what they were doing. And they ended up feeling such different things about it afterwards. So for me this songs darker moods perfectly pairs with this scene

Kieran and Mark argue/break up LM & LoS -

- Fade Away - Tom Walker

This song has such raw power, such dark emotion and anger and a sense of betrayal that it perfectly captures their emotionally charged scenes. Mark can never be the same Mark that belonged to Kieran when he had no one, because now he has his family. And Kieran is still the same man who has no one but Mark. I hated him the first time I read LM and most of LoS but their chemistry is hard to resist. Especially as they evolve as characters as well as a couple. They are wild and unmoored sometimes and there’s something exciting about characters you just cant pin down.

Emma & Jules’ strained relationship LM & LoS -

- 9 Crimes - Damian Rice

When Emma is “with” Mark there is this strange chemistry between her and Julian. Both have hurt each other at different times, but this was really like a stalemate. Neither could really move on, and both were angry at eachother. As more and more people found out/realised about the feelings they had were more than parabatai this tension grew. Because they’re not just falling in love, they are also actively choosing to hurt one another. They are certainly not an example of a healthy relationship but I felt in some way they were the realest. Because sometimes relationships hurt and sometimes you do things you have to do even if that isnt what’s best for your relationship. This song perfectly captures this push and pull they have, and how falling in love wasn’t blissful happiness for them. It was pain and secrets and hurting.

Annabel rising, killing Malcolm LoS -

- As It Was - Hozier

Since we’re watching this scene from above, a very unnatural and cinematic perspective, the scene feels unreal. Like it was a dream and didn’t happen. I felt genuine fear and uneasiness when Annabel is slowly brought back to life, skin growing over old bones. This song has notes that aren’t usually arranged together, instruments that are usually a bigger part of a quartet, and somehow that arrangement feels just a little wrong. It feels different, sinister, and uneasy. It feels like its missing several instruments, or some notes have been played incorrectly. Hozier’s voice is his best in this song, very strained, but so controlled, bringing forth very intense emotions

Christina and Mark at the revel LoS (I couldn’t remember if this was in LoS or QOAAD) -

- Now You’re Gone - Tom Walker & Zara Larsson

Christina really let herself go during this scene, and we see a completely different side to her. She is adventurous, risky, and she would make anyone say “fuck it lets do this” I always liked Christina but I always felt she was very predictable until this point. We see how intensely she is interested in Faeries, and how personally invested she is in their culture. She allows herself to be swept up, and embraces it rather than fears it. She honestly seems fearless here, and is the definition of temptation. She is quite literally tempting Mark, and its sexy a f

Jules & Emma burn down the church LoS -

- Esmeralda - Ben Howard

This was the first time their relationship excited me, because during this scene I fully expected they would go into full thirst mode but they didn’t. They were still very sensual and sexual and intense, but in a very very different way. There is something attractive about someone who’s willing to burn the world down, who has a little bit of an anarchist side. Its human nature to feel some attraction to these traits, and this scene definitely stirred feelings in me

Emma fights Fal LoS -

- Put It On Me - Matt Maeson

This song both tonally and in its pacing elevates this scene to new levels. Its not a typical battle song, it has a steady pace. But Emma’s description of how the battle is stripped down because of the rain, how she prefers this kind of fight where its her, her weapon and the elements. Its pure, and we get to see Emma in full fighter mode. She is an extension of Cortana, and they belong together. This is without a doubt my favourite fight scene to date. It just brings alive the visuals in such a dynamic way. Very storyboard-able.

Julian holding Livvy as she dies LoS -

- Losing Your Memory - Ryan Star

This song is harrowing, and its just pure pain, raw grief balled into one intense song. The lyrics just pull you into Julian’s mental state “wake up, its time, little girl, wake up” just kills me. As the music intensifies and the singer is practically screaming the lyrics it just feels like that’s what it must have been like inside of Julian’s mind. He wasn’t screaming out loud but his mind must have been very loud

Julian and Emma shower together QOAAD -

- Promise - Ben Howard

Julian dry heaving because he doesnt know how to cry. Fucking heartbreaking in a very quiet way. After the noise of loss, the quiet moments where you have to face grief is devastating. Emma being an anchor, holding him in place and trying to keep the world away from him so he doesnt hurt anymore is just harrowing. They’re just kids but the grief they feel is so adult. And when you lose someone like that, and someone is there for you that solidifies so much in that relationship. They become a part of something you can never let go of. Even if that relationship doesnt last, they will always be apart of that memory. And Emma sticking by him, despite the danger and promises they have made themselves is proof that she is the one for him

Kieran and Christina dance QOAAD -

- Senorita - Shawn Mendes & Camilla Cabello

This song is sensual, its sexual, its got hooks that quite literally sound like orgasms its such a playful song. When I read this scene this song popped in my head right away. When Christina is dancing with Mark its the same kind of feeling I got from her at the revel, except this time there is no supernatural influence, its just her and her feelings. It was a sexy scene, and when Kieran walks in we all expected something very different. What followed is what elevates this scene, Christina has no clue how to react to Kieran, and yet she is mesmerised by him. She dances with him in a way we would never have imagined her doing this in LM. It shows evolution of character, for all three of them. And the fact that Mark is watching, and he’s not angry just makes this scene even sexier. You can practically feel the sexual tension in the air coming off the pages of the book.

Malec wedding QOAAD -

- That Girl Is You - Dave Matthews Band

This song brings me so much peace, the kind of peace that comes with knowing someone for years, and relying on them, knowing they are a permanent fixture in your life. Its exciting, but in a quiet way. Its a very atypical wedding song, because of the unusual style of singing. But I think it represents Malec really well at this point in their journey, they have gotten over many obstacles, often themselves, in this relationship. Their entire world is changing, and they are taking massive steps and making some pretty big sacrifices as people for this cause. Being Consul isnt going to be a smooth life for Alec with Magnus as a husband and a warlock for a child. But this is what he wants, and this is what he wants Shadowhunters to reflect and be going forward. This song is a very peaceful time in the entirety of TSC, and gave me a similar feeling to the end of TMI

[whyiask]

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR AOS SEASON 7

Okay okay okay, so I have been watching Agents of Shield season 7 with my family, and we just finished the final episode!!! In the whole show!!! This is insane!! Then I went back and watched Season 1 episode 1 as a throwback. Here are some of my thoughts.

-The first few episodes were a little bit slow, to be completely honest. I loved them a lot, but the season definitely built up momentum after the first two episodes or so.

-Okay, first of all. Let’s talk about some of the characters, shall we? Deke. I am actually really happy with Deke this season. He’s finally standing up for what he believes in and I’m really satisfied with his growth. When he’s not being a dick, he’s actually super nice and a very good friend. Especially in The Totally Excellent Adventures of Mack and The D. He was actually a really thoughtful and caring friend. There were other instances too, him sticking up for Jemma when Sousa questioned her abilities, etc. I know he as a character gets a lot of hate, and I’ll admit he’s not exactly the epitome of a good person, but as he says, he never gives up on his friends. I feel like he really grew a lot, and he’s actually very smart. He’s skilled in tech and he can do a lot of repairs and engineering stuff? I feel like a lot of people gloss over the fact that he actually has brains and when he is using them, he’s a real asset. When he was first introduced, he was not very useful and, quite frankly, very annoying. Over his time with the team, however, he has actually grown to be one of my favorite characters.

-Daisy. Daisy, Daisy, Daisy. Where to start. She has grown so much over the course of the show. Her powers, abilities, and her as a person. Rewatching episode 1 really gave me a flash as to how she used to be. Impulsive, stubborn, independent. She’s so controlled and powerful now, she really knows herself and can be confident with who she is. She went all the way from just the girl living in a van to a super spy inhuman leader. I love her so much. Her final battle with Nathaniel- just gah. Perfection right there. The only way she was able to win was because she was willing to sacrifice everything for her family (found family, SQUEEEE). She was willing to die, and that gave her an edge over Nathaniel. It was really really heartfelt.

-Mack, the director of shield. He has had some good arcs and some good moments over the course of the show. I’ll have to say, however, I didn’t completely like his arc this season. That whole thing with his parents dying- it was just... I don’t know, a little bit bland next to some of the others.

-Elena had a good conflict- her whole thing with not being able to use her powers, that was some good stuff. Really cool, really neat. I thought the ‘childhood trauma’ part, with her uncle and stuff- I thought that was a little bit forced, especially since we haven’t heard of anything like that at all in all the time we’ve known her. She has grown a lot though. I didn’t really like her when she was first introduced, but she’s awesome now.

-May’s new powers were actually really interesting to explore this season. When we first learned she had emotion-sensing powers, I was worried that it would feel too forced- trying to give everyone powers and whatnot. But contrary to my initial doubts, it actually gave May a very impressive storyline and I was very invested in her. The story benefitted a lot from this new concept.

-Coulson just keeps coming back, doesn’t he. This man just doesn’t stay dead. It was a bit much to have him keep returning to the show, but he was actually a very valuable asset to the team this season. As an LMD, he had a lot of differences about him, but he was still the Coulson we know and love.

-Sousa was cool. He may not have been modern or known how modern tech works, but he has tactical brilliance and street smarts. He was a very good SHIELD agent before, and he is now. On the topic of him and Daisy, I spent the majority of the season not shipping them, actually. I didn’t want to ship them, because I was worried that if they got together, Sousa would die or turn evil or something to that degree.

-I wish we could’ve seen more of Fitz. He is absolutely one of my favorite characters, and I would’ve liked to see more of him in this season. That being said, they did an absolutely brilliant job of keeping Fitz on everyone’s minds and keeping him relevant and super important to the story, despite him not being on screen.

-I honestly loved Simmons in this season. It was so refreshing to see her like this. In control, but not. Strong, but weak. It had a nice blend, and I felt her emotions clear as day, and she just felt very very real. Human. Switching from one thing to the next in a heartbeat. I loved it.

-On the matter of fitzsimmons, they remain the most wholesome ship on that whole show. Mack and Elena are a power couple, but so are Fitz and Simmons. They have been through so much together, and they deserve each other. The universe keeps on trying to keep them apart, but they always find each other, through space and time, through danger after danger after danger. It honest-to-god broke my fragile little fitzsimmons heart when she couldn’t remember who he was, and even after she remembered, when she didn’t remember that she loved him. Actually, one of the most heartfelt, touching moments in the whole season was her remembering how much she loved him.

-Speaking of heartfelt moments, who else nearly cried when Daisy referred to Jemma as ‘her sister’? ✋

-Deke. (okay, we’re back to talking about deke.) When Deke stayed behind in the alternate timeline, he said some things. He basically said he was expendable, and that made me legit tear up. Even by the end of the show, nobody on the team was as close with Deke as they were with each other. I mean, that’s understandable, as he hadn’t been with them for a super long time, but I know if Jemma had been able to remember him at that point, she would’ve been a lot sadder. They all cared about Deke, they just didn’t really ever show it, because they didn’t care about him as much. I think Mack was the one most upset when they left Deke behind, and that’s because he got to witness first-hand how good of a friend Deke was. Deke must’ve been one of my favorite characters, and it broke my heart to see him make that sacrifice. He was kind of always the one that they all picked on, but I want to believe they all cared deeply about him- despite them not showing it.

-Another thing about Deke- (Joy, shut up about deke already)- is that he loved Daisy, didn’t he? I remember back when he was asking Coulson and Mack for advice on how to tell her he liked her. I guess it had kind of slipped my mind, and I totally forgot about it, until now. I though maybe he had gotten over his crush, but because of what he said to Daisy right before his sacrifice, it makes me think it was more than just a crush. In those final moments with her, she was with Sousa. They were looking at each other. Daisy then asked Deke if he was sure(or something to that degree) and Deke said something like, “as long as you’re happy.” EXCUSE ME, SIR. No one can ever convince me that look he gave her wasn’t a look of unrequited love. No one. But she never saw him that way, she always saw him as a friend, and maybe an annoying little brother. But still- that comment she made, when Jemma and Deke were stuck in space with Nathaniel, when she said, “let’s go rescue simmons.” Mack said, “and Deke” to which she responded, “sure.” That hits differently now. It feels like she never really cared about him the way he cared about her. I understand it was meant to be funny, and it was kind of funny, but it really just hit differently. Even if it was a joke, Daisy basically said that she thought of Simmons as her sister and Deke as an afterthought.

-It felt a little bit ridiculous for the final big conflict to end, essentially because of the Power of Friendship and Empathy. It felt a little bit cheap. I did, however, love how the end came together, with them looping back- and,,, ugh, it was very satisfying to watch everything fall exactly into place, what with them being the people in blue hazmat suits from the end of season six, and the chronicoms firing to try and hit them, not just aiming at the temple.

-The last line in the entire show was “cool”, but then again, it was Coulson saying it, so it checks out.

-THE ENDING OMG- the parallel was beautiful, BEAUTIFUL, between the end of season one episode one and the end of the finale of season 7. Coulson flying off in Lola. It was- it was perfect. The perfect last shot.

I’ll probably reblog later with more thoughts, these were just my initial thoughts that I wrote down right after the episode ended so that I wouldn’t forget them.

(Also, sorry for the rants about Deke. I could honestly rant on and on about this show for hours, I tried to keep it short. I do ramble quite a bit, but Deke is my latest character obsession, so I’ve been thinking about him a lot and doing a deep character analysis on him recently)

[travllingbunny]

AoS rewatch:  1x06 FZZT

And with this, we start that season 1 thing with spelling words in titles as if they were acronyms, though this one is only typed in capital letters but without the periods, unlike T.R.A.C.K.S.

This is the best episode of the first part of season 1, in spite of being one of the few that have no elements of the overall storyline. If all the early season 1 episodes were like this, no one would be saying anything against pre-Winter Soldier season 1. The standalone story is a great one, and it is full of important character moments and character development, Especially for Simmons and Fitz, and their relationship. This is where they stop being just comic relief supporting characters and become fully fledged characters.

Simmons later had a lot of inconsistent writing, but her characterization in this episode is perfect. It’s certainly one of her best episodes ever. We see everything from her rationality and scientific curiosity which can sometimes sound a bit creepy (”So sad a man died this way…and yet, so amazing.“), her determination and her courage and willingness to spare the others the responsibility to sacrifice her, by sacrificing herself to save everyone.

And it’s the first great FitzSimmons episode – where their relationship is in the focus and the heart of the story. There’s a lot of fun bickering, as there always is, but then we also get to see how much they mean to each other, how much Fitz is willing to risk for Jemma, and  we get the first hints he may be feeling something romantic for her.

One of the differences between Fitz and Jemma is how much is Fitz is grossed out by things like dead bodies (or  needles stuck into eyes, as in 1x04) while Simmons is cool and unaffected by them (but if she weren’t, it would be hard for her to do her job). I relate to Fitz in this case.

Simmons taunts him that he’s „afraid“ of a dead body, which angers him and he protests that he’s not afraid, just disgusted. Later, she says he was too afraid to go into the field. But when it comes to saving Simmons, Fitz is later completely unafraid to get into the lab with her and risk getting infected himself, and later wanted to jump off a plane to save her.

But before that, at the beginning of the episode, Fitz’ little crush on Skye gets its swan song as he makes a terrible attempt at hitting at her, which she doesn’t even register. She’s too busy talking about her problems with Ward – who has been ignoring her - and comparing him to her ex-boyfriend Miles, and she also has noticed the FitzSimmons chemistry before either of them have, pointing out that they are „psychically linked“. She has always been the world’s biggest FitzSimmons shipper.

Speaking of which, the ship name itself is again spoken in canon: just like the doc in the Pilot, Coulson refers to them as a single unit, „FitzSimmons“.

Fitz and Simmons’ impersonations of Ward are both terrible. Why do they make him sound like Edward James Olmos?

The only thing that feels out of place in this episode is May’s interrogation of one of the witnesses, who’s a little boy. It’s a humorous scene where she offers him a cookie, but looks completely intimidating while doing it. This doesn’t really make sense, as we know that May can be softer, and we now know that she is usually very caring with children. And scaring an already traumatized child shouldn’t be funny.

Indeed, Skye, I’m also shocked that neither Coulson nor Ward are familiar with The Big Lebowski. Well, actually, I’m not at all shocked that Ward hasn’t.

Foreshadowing: Ward: „Everyone looks clean on the first go round. Dig deeper“

At this point, I’m not sure if Ward is really still angry at Skye (I did believe he really was in 1x05, but only because he was jealous of Miles), or if he thinks that he now needs to continue his performance of being a strict, loyal SHIELD agent angered by Skye’s Rising Tide allegiance.

It’s a testament to how good this episode is, that it succeeds in making you feel for  Diaz, the firefighter about to die, a minor character who’s only been on screen for a couple of minutes. The writing and the acting is really good. This episode’s plot is so sad, because the victims are people who were heroes helping and saving others, and they died as an indirect result of that. It’s also possibly the only episode where the team isn’t dealing with any villains who intentionally caused this, but a virus and an accidental infection.

This is also one of the best episodes for Coulson. The scene where he stays with the dying firefighter as long as he can, to make it easier for him, telling him about his own death experience, is really beautiful. (We never find out if what he told him was true, or just something he said to make him feel better.) He cut off the comm with May when she tried to warn him to leave. He does something similar later when he pretends that he lost communications with Blake, because he has no intention of following the order to dump Simmons into the ocean, instead of hoping and believing that she will find the antiserum. And he openly defies Blake and the superiors’ orders at the end of the episode, even replying „Let them try“ when he’s threatened with SHIELD taking the team away from him. (I don’t know how Fury felt about Coulson disobeying his orders – but maybe he liked it, because, after all, he also disobeyed orders that he deemed to be stupid ass orders, like being told to bomb New York.) In spite of the many ways in which the later seasons improved the show, one of the things I’m sad about is that this humane, always compassionate season 1 Coulson was kind of lost, as he became darker and angrier, prone to keeping secrets even from his team, and occasionally too obsessed with revenge.

When watching Ward in these early episodes, the question constantly arises, what is real and what is fake. The speech he gives to Skye, about feeling helpless that he cannot protect his team members from someone, a superpowered psychopath, it is a part of his performance, but is there maybe some grain of truth in it? The best lies are usually those that have a bit of truth in them – an actor needs to find something to relate to give a better performance. Ward was deceiving and manipulating everyone, but at the same time, we know he did develop some feelings for at least some of his teammates. Not just romantic feelings for Skye, but it’s also canon (at least since 3x09) that he projected his little brother into Fitz. The same episode hinted he may have seen Simmons as a sister figure. (I personally believe that he projected his family on the team, which also explains his later negative feelings for them.) And he definitely has a hero complex and wants people to see him as a protector (whether or not this fits with the reality), this is how he defines himself and his worth – it’s one of the constants of his characters throughout the show.

First mention and appearance of Titus Welliver as Agent Felix Blake

We find out that FitzSimmons have never even passed their field assessments.

So many defining FitzSimmons moments. FitzSimmons sitting on the different sides of the lab door, separated.

That moment. That moment when they are arguing and Fitz starts saying that she has been always by his side, that they’ve spent every moment together (“You’ve been beside me the whole damn time!”) – and his face changes. That’s when he realizes just how much Simmons means to him. And it’s the moment when so many fans started shipping FitzSimmons.

It’s right after that he went into the lab with her to do everything to help her find a way to save herself „We’re gonna fix this together“

Fitz desperately yelling: „JEMMA!“ - I’m pretty sure that’s the first time on the show he has called her by her first name.

Going by what we’ve seen so far – countries SHIELD has offices in include Morocco and China, but apparently not Peru or Belarus (and, going by 4x14, no office in Russia, either).

I love the way Simmons corrects Ward about his imitation of her bad imitation of him.

Aw, the Skye-Simmons hug was sweet. The Bus Kids friendship was one of the things that the show developed very convincingly from the start, in a relatively small number of episodes.

In the ongoing story of Coulson worrying about his earlier death and comeback, he has ordered his own physical exam. This is so far the most tender May/Coulson scene, and the tenderest May has been in the show. (And I bet the writers were being intentionally naughty and ship-teasing when they put the„Take off your shirt“ line in there.)

The last scene, where Fitz is unhappy and a bit jealous that he didn’t  get to save Simmons from jumping, but Ward did instead (don’t worry, Fitz, Ward had a much better chance of succeeding there, let everyone play to their strengths), and Simmons reassures him that he was the one who did most to help and save her, being there with her in the lab, and gives him a cheek kiss… if Fitz didn’t realize before that his feelings for Jemma may be romantic, he is definitely starting to understand it here, going by that last shot of him, deep in thoughts.

[besidemethewholedamntime]

most sane and sunly 

Happy New Year @recoveringrabbit ! It’s me, Rebecca, your secret santa! This is very belated but Merry Christmas! I had a lot of fun writing your gift and I hope it’s alright. Your prompt was beautiful and gave me so any ideas and in the end I went with this one. I hope 2019 brings you all the best for a wonderful bean like you! Thank you! 

Summary:

'“Fitz?” She calls, heart in her throat. Disappointment at this stage would kill her, surely. “Is that you?”

“Who else would it bloody be?” He shouts, but then grins and it’s like the sunshine has come early but of course it hasn’t, for when she runs out to meet him she can still feel the raindrops on her face, only she doesn’t care.'

Sometimes it takes a little while for the things we love to come home, but eventually they always do. A historical au for the lovely bean that is @recoveringrabbit for the secret santa gift exchange!

{Read on Ao3}

or you can read it below if you don’t wish to on Ao3!

It’s raining.

Jemma’s noticed that, lately, it always seems to be raining on a Tuesday. It starts around nine in the morning with a  light drizzle, progressing to full on torrential downpour by lunch. After that it’s a steady downpour until around three, where, quite suddenly, the water seems to stop, like somebody has turned off a tap, and the most brilliant sunshine fills the sky. Of course, by then, everything is wet and nobody wants to go outside and it’s far too late in the day to accomplish anything meaningful but all the same Jemma finds it quite beautiful.

She is waiting for the sunshine when he comes back. An empty bandstand stands in the centre of the park, and provides adequate shelter even during the worst of downpours. It’s peaceful here, nobody wanting to be outside during the horrendous weather, and so during the drizzle she makes her way out here with her book and notebooks and textbooks and stays until the late afternoon sunshine makes it so she can go home. The war has left her without a job and eager to return to her studies, though many disapproving of that choice. The peace afforded to her on these wonderfully rainy Tuesdays are something she does not take for granted.

At first she doesn’t see it’s him. It’s September, for a start. Many who are going to return have already done so, and those too wounded have not been prophesied to return for a good while yet. She hasn’t heard from him, is another thing. The last letter was almost six months ago, the last time she laid eyes on her best friend was over a year ago. Every day since victory was announced she has held onto hope that he will contact her in some way or another but months have passed and every day, quite without meaning to, she feels the hope grow looser on her fingers and she is so desperately afraid that one day it’ll slip away forever.

“Jemma?”

The voice seems to be her imagination at first, the result of many lonely hours sitting on this uncomfortably hard seat. There can’t be anybody out here in this rain. Only a fool like her would venture out into it. Sighing, Jemma moves her neck from side to side without looking up and goes back to reading.

“Jemma? Is that you?”

Surely she can’t be this tired. True, she didn’t get a lot of sleep last night, but not so little that it would warrant imagining this much. She shakes her head and picks up something new from her pile. Perhaps a different sort of stimulation is the answer.

“Bloody hell, it’s tipping it down. Jemma Anne Simmons!”

Now that voice and that special kind of grumpiness she would know anywhere and her head snaps up at the familiar sound she hasn’t heard in so long. It can’t be… but it is. A lone figure in Army greens, walking with a slight limp, with longer hair and a beard she doesn’t remember is coming towards her and she squints to make doubly sure through the rain.

“Fitz?” She calls, heart in her throat. Disappointment at this stage would kill her, surely. “Is that you?”

“Who else would it bloody be?” He shouts, but then grins and it’s like the sunshine has come early but of course it hasn’t, for when she runs out to meet him she can still feel the raindrops on her face, only she doesn’t care. How could she, when her best-friend is back from what she was almost sure was the dead?

“Fitz!” She exclaims, throwing her arms around him, mindful of the force she exerts on his body. “You’re back. You’re properly back.”

“’Course I am.” Except his voice wavers a little bit and it sounds like there was a time when he wasn’t quite sure he would be. His arms come around her, so sure and strong, and he presses a kiss on the top of her hair. “I’ve missed you, Jemma.”

“Not as much as I’ve missed you,” she mumbles into his shoulder, not caring that there are tears in her eyes and most likely snot on his uniform. It’s not like he’ll need it anymore. She pulls back, shakily wiping her eyes. “I can’t believe you’re home. Just out of the blue like this!”

He smiles nervously, letting go of her to rub at the back of his neck. “Yeah, me neither, if I’m honest. Wasn’t expecting to get away this quick.”

A downward glance at his leg and she remembers suddenly what she noticed moments ago. “Oh, Fitz, your leg! What happened?”

A laugh that’s not quite a laugh at all. “A bit of a long story, that one.” He looks past her to the bandstand. “Do you mind if we sit down? It gets a bit sore if I stand for too long.”

Jemma suddenly realises that it’s still raining torrentially and she is only in her lightest of jackets and, by now, is soaked something terribly. Her hair is plastered to her face and she has to swipe it away in order to continue to marvel at Fitz. “Of course. Here, I’ll help you.” And offers her arm, which he accepts with a grateful smile. The weight he exerts, she notices, is considerably lighter than what it would have been the last time she saw him. Casting a critical eye, Jemma takes in his hollow cheeks and papery eyelids, but says nothing.

Once under shelter she shrugs off her jacket and gives it to Fitz to sit on. At his doubtful look she points to the cushion that she brought for herself. Fitz only laughs and shakes his head, before shuffling onto it. Jemma recognises the look if relief on his face; the benches do not provide the most comfortable place to sit.

“Thought of everything, I see,” Fitz comments, stretching out his bad leg.

“I’m studying. My grandmother doesn’t approve and neither do many of her friends that always seem to be visiting so I come here to get some peace and quiet.”

Fitz nods with approval. “Good,” he says, matter-of-fact. “You’re too smart not to go to university.”

It’s almost embarrassing, but she hasn’t had encouragement in so long that tears begin to burn her eyes. She pretends to sift through her books so he won’t see. “I suppose we shall see about that. Working as a nurse for the past few years has made me rather rusty, I’m afraid.”

Not that she regrets it, of course. Tending to the wounded brought to the countryside to convalesce is not something to be regretted. Oh, how many things she has learned and taken from the experience. The importance of the simple things: a good cup of tea, the smell of the rain, a kind word and a hand to hold. All the same, it’s put her plans for university on hold for considerably longer than Jemma previously thought they would be.

“Jemma Simmons being rusty? Nah, I don’t believe it,” Fitz teases her, a familiar glint in his eyes. Something in Jemma’s heart settles into place. Something comes home.

“You should.” She smiles ruefully, but then shifts the conversation away from her, uncomfortable with the spotlight. “So, tell me all of it.”

An uneasy look comes across Fitz’s face. The light goes out of his eyes. “Not much to tell.” Even his voice is different, sounding shrouded, hiding something underneath.

“Oh, come off it. I haven’t heard from you in almost six months. Surely things have happened.”

“Well, yeah, things have happened, Jemma; there was a war on. Doesn’t mean you want to hear about it.”

This is when she knows he simply has to tell her, otherwise whatever it is will eat away at him for years and years to come. She shuffles closer, rests a hand on his knee.

“You’re my best friend, Fitz,” she tells him, quite quietly but ever so matter-of-factly. “I want to hear about everything.”

He looks grateful and with a deep breath and his hand griping hers, he begins to tell his story.

Once, when Jemma was a child and beginning her everlasting phase of curiosity, her mother had warned her that there were some questions you didn’t want to hear the answer to. There are some things you can’t unhear, Jemma, her mother had told her sternly. Some things you’ll hear and they’ll rattle about your head for years. One day you’ll learn that there are things you’re better off not knowing.

It had made no sense, because even with answers you didn’t want, you still had more pieces of the puzzle and could make more sense of the world with the whole truth. It had never made sense, until just now. Fitz’s shaky breath and choked voice surrounding the words that he speaks are almost too much, and Jemma’s horrified to find that, if she didn’t love him the way she does, she would have to ask him to stop.

For he tells her about the things he’s seen, the horrors he’s witnessed. He tells her of the emaciated refugees with paper skin and empty eyes. He tells her of the fellow soldiers, his brothers in arms, that were one moment beside him laughing and the next quite still and broken on the ground. He tells her of the explosion, of the burning oil and the flying shrapnel that seemed to come from everywhere, and of the painful months that follows where there was nothing he wanted more in the world than just to sleep forevermore.

And after there’s nothing she can say except, “You came back.” And how she wishes she was brave enough to add to me.

Fitz nods, running a hand under his eyes. “Came back.” Then he digs around in his inside breast pocket and produces something that Jemma cannot yet see. “Brought this, too.” He unfurls his fingers to produce a ring.

It’s nothing special. A simple silver band with the tiniest of stones set a little off-centre into the metal. There’s no sunshine yet, for it’s not quite late enough, but it sparkles absolutely magnificently.

“A ring,” she mumbles, though more to herself than to him. At first it doesn’t quite click, because why would it? They’ve been friends for as long as she can remember, done everything they could together. They’ve been through it all – even a war for goodness sake. Why on Earth would she assume he would want anything more?

And then she thinks and softly goes oh and realises that she’s answered her own question.

“I know it’s a bit quick,” Fitz says quite breathily, “and it’s nothing special. But the thing is, it’s been in my pocket for the last three years and I thought it was about time to give it to you.”

Jemma disagrees; she thinks it’s the most special thing that she could ever lay eyes on. With wide eyes, too afraid to touch it yet, she says, “You mean you’ve taken it everywhere?”

“Everywhere.” He coughs, runs his other hand through his hair. “I’ve wanted to give it to you for a while but I… I didn’t want you to be promised to a ghost.”

With teary eyes she looks up at him. There’s no word in her extensive vocabulary, nothing that could ever help put name to this feeling in her heart. “I um, I suppose that makes sense.”

He laughs a little, as if to say of course. “It’s lucky, really. I wanted to take care of the bloody thing ‘cause I was scared I’d lose it so I was extra careful.” His voice goes quiet for a second. “Got a lot to thank it for.” Then back to the way it was before. “I thought I lost it at the hospital there; they take all your personal stuff out of your uniform and it was in this torn bit of lining in my pocket but…” He stops, a little bit breathless, like he can’t believe it. “It was still here.”

Jemma, somehow, feels this relief, too. “Well, thank goodness for that.”

Fitz’s head snaps up; she’s rather surprised it doesn’t pop. “Really?”

“Yes.” She feels a smile grow of its own accord. “It would have.”

It would have been a shame, but the greater one would have been if he had never returned at all. Not a shame, but devastating in a way that would not be recoverable. A ring is something appreciated and adored but not essential. Not like Fitz.

While he has carried this ring to keep him going, she has only carried the memory of him, and constantly wondered if this is all she would have for the rest of her life.

“So,” he ventures, licking his lips nervously. She wonders what kissing him will be like. “Does that mean that you’ll marry me?”

Right now she feels as though she is floating; suddenly there is no uncomfortable bench beneath her cushion and her feet are not sinking into soggy soles. There is nothing except love love love all around.

However, she is still Jemma Simmons. Still logical and practical. Still knows what’s expected, after all.

“There’s nothing I would love more but, oh, Fitz, we’ve never even been to the dancing.”

They’ve been to the pictures and they’ve strolled in the park, and taken picnics at the beach; everything one would do with a significant other they intended to marry. They’ve just never been to the dancing at the town hall on a Friday night. She’s never spun with him, watching the rest of the room fade away, making it seem as though they’re the only two that could ever be.

It’s not important to her, not really. It’s what her grandmother would expect, and his mother, and all of those adults that have made it their business to have a say in what they do with their (quite grownup) lives. Though she tries not to, there’s still a small part of her that does indeed care of what they will think of an engagement quite sprung on them out of the blue, even if it is to their dear Fitz.

(Though, there’s also a part of her that thinks her grandmother will be quite relieved she is marrying anybody, for with Jemma insisting on going back to university, she had been worried that nobody would be able to deal with a girl much more qualified than they.)

“Oh, um, no,” Fitz begins slowly, looking down at his leg. “Don’t suppose we have been dancing, actually.”

She feels truly terrible, her heart sinking into her stomach like a lead weight. Putting her hands on either side of his face, resting her forehead on his, she tries to convey how sorry she is, the truth in her next words. “It doesn’t mater. I do not care. About any of it.”

“You deserve it, though.” Eyes closed, he breathes deeply; she rejoices in the warm air she feels over her face. Opens his eyes with fire int the blue. “We’ll go, we’ll dance.”

His determination stirs up such feelings of fondness she wonders how she’s never noticed it for all these years. For it’s always been there – these feelings are not new. They are as familiar to her as breathing, have been as reliable and sure like a heartbeat, rarely noticed but always giving life in the background.

“Alright.” She nods. “We shall go dancing.”

He grins. “You just uh, might need to carry me.”

“Oh, Fitz,” she laughs, closing her eyes to keep the tears gathering inside. “Always.”

He fumbles with the ring, and she cottons on that it’s supposed to go on her finger. It slides on without the least bit of resistance, just as she knew it would.

And finally, finally, it’s time to kiss him and it’s nothing like she thought it would be but that’s alright. It’s wonderful and fantastic and more.

“We’re getting married,” she tells him, giggling in a way that she only reserves for the most special of occasions.

Fitz, for his part, still looks a little shocked by it. “I suppose we are.”

There’s warmth on her face, and Jemma realises it doesn’t only come from within; the sun has come out early. She begins to gather up all of her things. Fitz takes a few minutes and rolls his leg from side to side but stands up and begins to help.

“Well, where to first?” He asks her, looking at her textbooks. “Soon to be Dr Jemma Simmons?”

“Dr Fitzsimmons,” she corrects, enjoying the immediate grin it produces. “I suppose we should get you to your mum – she’ll be ever so glad to see you.”

Glad is perhaps an understatement, for his mother is a woman who does not do things by halves. Jemma hopes she notices his leg before giving him a hug that will turn his bones to crumbs.

"I meant it, you know," she says suddenly, a desperate ache of need making itself known in her chest. Her callous comment has left her feeling empty. "That I would carry you. In all manners. Forever."

"Oh, Jemma." His voice is like honey - sweet and smooth and exactly right. It fills her and she is so glad in the sensation that it takes a second before she fully knows that it's love. "I know. Just like I hope you know that I'd carry you, too."

She presses a kiss to his cheek. "We'll carry each other." And she knows they will. They will carry each other the way they truly always have done. In their hands and in their minds and in their hearts until the time comes where there shall be no need for it because their bones shall be laid to rest in such a way that it will be impossible for them to become separated.

His mother lives a little outside of Perth, and so they begin to walk, arm in arm, to the bus stop. The raindrops make everything glisten in the surprisingly warm Summer sunshine. To Jemma, the world feels as bright and new as it ever could. Oh, how she cannot wait for their next adventure.

“It’ll be nice,” she tells him, feeling like she could float away, “just a fifteen minute bus journey and then you’ll be home.”

He laughs and she turns to him, expecting to see some sort of mocking look on his face. Instead there is only love and there’s only tenderness in his voice when he tells her, “I already am.”

[miraculousagentsofkrypton]

To Begin Again Ch 4

They’d been stuck in the past for a little over a week without any incident. Jemma seemed stuck in a never ending loop of wanting to be with Fitz as much as possible, but also avoiding him. Daisy knew it was giving Fitz a bit of a headache and a lot of confusion, as she’d be following him around one minute, then be nowhere to be found another.

Daisy’s days had just involved avoidance, of all the guys. She couldn’t let herself get attached to Coulson only to lose him all over again. She couldn’t think of him like he was alive. But watching Fitz ramble on innocently was just too much. She’d tried, right at the beginning, to talk with him, but he’d gone on a happy little rant about something technology related and Daisy couldn’t stop the well of emotion that had come over her. He might not have had Jemma back then, but they had had each other. Every time they’d tried taking the next step in their relationship something had separated them. At this time he was so happy, so good and sincere. And she missed him so much. But this Fitz was almost as lost to her as Coulson.

She hadn’t noticed how weirdly attached to her Ward had been the first time around. But now, when she was doing her utmost to spend as little time in the same room as him as possible, she found him extraordinary hard to escape.The realization of what was happening made her want to gag and she couldn’t help the shudder that passed through her.

Daisy found little time during the day to spend with May or Jemma, so her nights had been spent split between sneaking into the cockpit with May, or staying in her bunk with Jemma. The never seemed to find the opportunity to all come together at once, in secret. But the time they did find was absolutely vital, because Daisy knew that none of them could have made it without the support of the others. As normal and steady as they seemed during the day, in view of the guys, the truth was that this was tearing all of their hearts to pieces.  

As much as Daisy didn’t want to admit it, the longer they were there, the less she could deny that they were in the actual past and not some sort of simulation. A simulation would have made it all so much easier to deal with, because once they escaped it would be over and done. They wouldn’t have to deal with things the same way, since nothing about it would be real. But if it was real, she’d have to relive all her traumas once again, while also knowing that some small change could bring people back to life, or kill them. It was beyond terrifying.

She wished she could distract herself with training, but she wouldn’t be able to explain the sudden jump in skill. She found quiet moments here and there to do some, but nothing like she wanted. So instead she put everything she could into the search. But progress in that department was extremely slow.

But despite all that, the biggest struggle had been pushing down the growing ache and desperation within her, created by the loss of her powers. This wasn’t the first time she’d lost her powers, but it’d never been as complete as this, nor for as long. There had also been other things to focus on, constant danger and urgent missions. Now she was left with her mind, and time to waste. Despite their situation, there wasn’t actually any imminent danger and they couldn’t seclude themselves away in search for a solution. So Daisy was left with time for the feeling to fester and grow until she found she couldn’t keep pushing away the numbness.   

Despite her best efforts, she still found herself easily startled, unable to get over the instinct to rely on her sense of vibrations. She could no longer sense people long before they reached her. The world was dull and still. She couldn’t feel it like she should and it ate at her constantly.

It was late, sometime after midnight, and Daisy couldn’t sleep. She’d laid in bed for as long as she could, trying to ignore it, but even Jemma’s comforting presence couldn’t ground her the way she needed. So she’d headed to the kitchen area and prepared a cup of tea, from May’s hidden stash. She sat down at the counter and attempted some meditation to relax.

But, the world felt empty, numb. Daisy gripped the mug tight, rubbing her thumb back and forth across the smooth ceramic. How strange. Is this really what the world had felt like for over two decades of her life? She was holding the mug, could feel the texture under her fingertips.  And yet, there was nothing beyond that, just empty space, void nothingness where she saw the mug was.

At times she felt like she was floating, with nothing to ground her.

The beautiful harmony of the world had been silenced. The constant vibrations left far from her reach and suddenly nothing made sense. She couldn’t hear, couldn’t feel. How could people possibly live like this? It was almost suffocating, being confined to her physical body like this, unable to sense anything beyond the cage that was her skin.

A band tightened around her chest. Was she getting any air? She couldn’t feel it. She took deep gasping breaths. Why couldn’t she feel anything? She needed to feel something. Anything.

Please.

She staggered to her feet, the mug slipping from her grasp and shattering on the ground unnoticed. The silence of the night was the only witness to her panicked stumble to the cargo hold, where the exercise equipment lay. An older stereo sat in the corner. Her fingers clumsily shuffled through the CDs beside it to find something with lots of heavy base. She put it in, turning up the volume as loud as possible. The thumping music sent vibrations through the metal beneath her feet and the air. It traveled all the way to her lungs and breathing finally became a little easier. But it wasn’t enough.

She grabbed the boombox and brought it over to the punching bag. Setting it down next to her, so as the feel as much of the vibrations as possible, she started pounding on the bag. Each punch sent shock-waves through her arm, and through the bag. It felt good. Her knuckles scraped the rough leather over and over. Daisy failed to slow down or even notice when blood started dripping.Normally, when working with a punching bag, she’d wrap her hands, but right then, the idea of any padding between her and the vibrations made her sick. She needed every iota of feeling.

She kept at it for what must have been hours. She couldn’t stop. If she did, the numbness would return. But eventually exhaustion overcame fear, and the rapid strikes slowed until Daisy was left weakly leaning on the bag, tapping it with bruised and bloodied hands in a never ending rhythm. Her eyes ached to close, but every time they did, the dark nothingness of the world shot them right back open again.

That’s how May found her, bloodshot eyes staring at nothing, slipping down the bag to the ground, unable to hold up her own weight. She said nothing, gentle hands pulling Daisy away from the battered bag. Warm arms wrapped around her and picked her up. A quiet heartbeat thumped in her ear, and Daisy felt some small portion of her soul relax. Exhaustion tugged harder, but still she fought it.

As she felt herself being lowered into a soft bed, she ached at the incoming loss of warmth. But it didn’t pull away. Instead she heard a confused groan from Jemma, and felt May shuffle them all around until Daisy found herself leaning against May, Jemma tucked against her other side, their arms wrapped around her. And then, a vibration sounded through May’s chest, where Daisy’s head rested, a lullaby, at first hummed, the sung softly but beautifully.

Something within Daisy released, and finally her eyes slipped closed, succumbing to the draw of sleep.

[crossinggalaxies]

DO YOU EVER JUST CRY BECAUSE FITZ PROBABLY SPENT A LOT OF TIME IN HIS YOUTH LONELY AND FEELING ISOLATED AND YEAH SURE HE HAD HIS MOM BUT THE HEARTBREAK OF HAVING HIS DAD CHOSE TO LEAVE HIM PROBABLY BROKE HIS HEART. AND THEN CAME JEMMA SIMMONS CAME INTO HIS LIFE AND HE SPENT FOREVER TRYING TO FIND SOMETHING SMART TO SAY TO HER, BUT SHE KNEW HE WAS ALREADY SMART. AND TEHY BECAME AMAZING FRIENDS AND SOULMATES WHO CAN COUNT ON EACH OTHER TO NEVER FEEL ALONE. THAT MAYBE HIS DAD LEFT BUT SHE NEVER WIL

(continued) L AND HE NEVER WILL. BECAUSE THEY CHOSE EACH OTHER CONSTANTLY. AND ITS BEAUTIFUL AND WE GET TO WITNESS IT!!!

YES!! I DO IM CRYING RIGHT NOW. 

[jemmafitzsimmons]

Written for @jewishfitz, @leopoldjamesfitzs, and @agent-hayley who all requested FS + I think you’re beautiful. This was originally going to be a drabble, but I couldn’t get this idea out of my head and decided to write a full length fic. I hope you enjoy! 

Huge thanks to @consoledacup for beta reading! <3

Synopsis: Fitz is a jazz pianist hung up on keeping old traditions alive. Jemma wants to make it as an actress in Los Angeles, but wonders if all the pain along the way is worth it. When their paths cross unexpectedly, they’ll form a connection that will inspire them to strive for their dreams.

Read Chapter 1 below or on AO3! 

~

i. a rush

When the music ended and the small audience began to applaud, Jemma wanted to melt to the floor. Her performance wasn’t necessarily a disaster by any means, but it wasn’t spectacular, especially since her boyfriend didn’t even seem to notice. Milton stood in the back by the bar, chatting up an actress Jemma remembered distinctly from the last party they attended together in the Hollywood Hills. He couldn’t keep his eyes off this woman that night, so it made sense he would give all of his attention to her now. It wasn’t until the clapping filled the air that he turned toward the stage, giving Jemma an enthusiastic thumbs-up even though he clearly wasn’t paying any attention to her performance.

She still couldn’t decide if she liked the song or not. If she wanted her next audition to be a success, she needed all the practice she could get. But at this rate, she didn’t have much confidence. She didn���t consider herself a singer by any means, but she thought the song was an emotional choice that would show off her range. It apparently wasn’t emotional enough to summon the attention of her so-called boyfriend. Milton was a writer, and yes, he said he would write her a role one day, but that was honestly the last thing she wanted. And he clearly had his sights set on a different sort of actress.

Jemma bit her lip and nodded in his direction, barely acknowledging him before slumping off the makeshift stage in search of a strong drink. But something stopped her out of the corner of her eye, so she turned to find its source. A man was watching her closely – not in a strange manner but simply a curious one.

She remembered he played keys for the act before her – some actor trying to win over the crowd with a somber rendition of a Michael Bublé hit. This man at the piano was seemingly uninterested in the guy’s performance altogether, but he was probably just doing it for the money. At the beginning, when something was wrong with the actor’s microphone, the man started to play his own piece of music to pass the time – a somber melody Jemma didn’t recognize. It nearly knocked the breath out of her; it was so captivating. It rose and fell with a particular melancholy that gave her chills. But the song was unfortunately cut short when the actor cleared his throat to continue on with the original act.

With his clear lack of enthusiasm in playing the Bublé number, Jemma was surprised the man even stuck around for her own performance, which was why it was so puzzling to see him standing at the far side of the room, seemingly transfixed by something he just witnessed.

Jemma swallowed hard. She knew it couldn’t have been her singing that brought him to such a state. Nevertheless, when she looked in his direction, his eyes seemed to widen as if caught in the act. She looked down at herself, trying to subtly ask if he was looking at her in particular. When she looked back up to see a soft smile on his face, she couldn’t help but return it with one of her own. He seemed a bit embarrassed, reaching up to scratch the back of his head, and Jemma suddenly felt the urge to get to know this person – this strange person who would probably rather be anywhere but in this club on a Friday night.

Shifting her eyes back to the bar, she noticed Milton had found himself at a table with a larger group, most likely discussing his forever work-in-progress of a screenplay. The actress he was chatting up perched at his shoulder, listening intently. With a huff, Jemma returned her eyes to the man, the quite handsome man, on the other side of the room. Suddenly, a rush washed over her, and a split-second decision turned to making a bee line for him, pushing past patrons in the crowd without breaking eye contact with him. His eyes widened when he realized she was approaching him so intensely, and she didn’t pause to think about how she must look at this moment – a wild woman clearly on a mission.

When she finally made it over to him and was mere inches from his face, she paused to catch her breath before giving him a wider smile. “Hi.”

“Hi,” he said, chuckling lightly as he looked down at his feet. He was shorter than she expected, as she was unable to tell from the stage, and she instantly noticed a slight awkward nature to him that she found utterly endearing. His eyes were a striking blue, and his simple button down and jacket were refreshing to see amongst the other overdressed men in the room.

“I uh… I just heard you sing,” he said as he gestured toward the stage. “And I wanted to tell you—”

But he couldn’t finish his sentence because her lips were already pressed to his, and the world began to spin. The dark chaotic club suddenly became a soft oasis of just the two of them, and Jemma felt her stomach flutter as she breathed him in. She didn’t think about the onlookers or the possibility of Milton throwing a fit at the sight of her kissing another man and ultimately causing a scene. Instead, it seemed as if the entire world around them effortlessly drifted away, leaving two strangers kissing for what felt like a lifetime. In this moment, all she thought about were the bright blue eyes that caught her attention just moments ago, the way his lips seem to fit so perfectly against hers, and the melody now filling her head that would never cease to escape her memory for many years to come.

But then she blinked and discovered the dreamlike moment was only happening inside her head. In reality, she was still standing a few inches away from him as he stared at her with a strange look on his face, and she soon realized he was not kissing her. He was, instead, asking her a question.

“Sorry?” she asked after clearing her throat, willing the image away from her mind.

“Did I lose you already?” He chuckled softly and bit his lip. “I’m kidding. I just asked if you wrote the song yourself.”

“Oh! Well, yes. But it’s not that great or anything.”

“I thought it was nice.”

His eyes grew softer, and she thought if she looked into them long enough, she might drown. When he shifted his eyes down, as if he were looking at her lips, she cleared her throat again and straightened up.  

“Well, I should be getting back to…” she trailed off to look in the direction of Milton, who seemed to be enjoying his night without her.

The man followed her line of sight and gave her a single nod. “Looks like a good time,” he said, his face falling slightly. “Maybe I’ll see you around.”

“Yeah. Maybe.”

In an instant he was gone, and for a moment she thought she imagined him entirely, just as she had imagined what it would be like to kiss him in a fury – a complete stranger, yet someone in the crowd that seemed to see her for who she truly was.

[theartofbeinganerd]

Tonight’s fic is one that I wrote post 3x20, before we knew how bad the fallout from Daisy being swayed was going to be - really, I was just more focused on how she was going to react to finding out that her ship had become canon ;D (I still say we were robbed, because that would’ve been a fantastic scene but I digress)

(Ao3)

-

When Daisy woke to the sound of beeping machines and a familiar ceiling, for a moment she was disoriented – her thoughts were all a mish-mash, and she wasn’t completely sure if she was at the Playground and the Hive nightmare had been just that, or if she was still in Hive’s newest lair and had just dreamed up everything about Andrew coming to her rescue.

But, then the fog cleared a bit, and she was reminded of the horrifying fact that it was all true – everything that felt like a sickening nightmare had actually happened. Her only consolation was the reminder that it was over now, that she was no longer under that monster’s control and was back home, where she truly belonged.

With a groan, Daisy weakly tried to sit up, but her body was still refusing to do much moving after she’d so willingly handed over almost her entire blood supply to make those abominations. Releasing a frustrated huff, she collapsed back onto the mattress and resolved herself to the idea that she wasn’t going anywhere for awhile.

Just then, voices filtered into the little hospital room off the lab that she’d become intimately familiar with after their stint in Puerto Rico last year. Frowning, Daisy turned her head and caught a glimpse of Fitz and Jemma entering the lab through the glass, deep in conversation with worried expressions painting their faces. As their voices became closer and clearer, Daisy realized that they were discussing Hive’s horrifying plan for the population – which certainly explained the grim expressions.

“It never ends, does it?” Jemma sighed, collapsing into the chair at her desk and closing her eyes as her head bowed.

“It’s not like we didn’t know what we were getting into when we signed up for SHIELD, Jem,” Fitz reminded her, leaning up against the desk beside her and crossing his arms over his chest.

“Of course we did!” Jemma burst out, lifting her head and throwing up her hands in exasperation. “But, it never slows down; it only seems to be happening more and more quickly as time goes on! The Chitauri invasion, Centipede, HYDRA, the obelisk, Jiaying, the monolith, Malick and Ward, and now Hive! When have we had a single moment to breathe and not worry that we’re about to die?”

Fitz’s lips twisted into a frown, and Daisy felt her own deepening, her heart going out to her distressed friend; it was true, it seemed that for the past few years, life had been trying its hardest to get them. But, then Fitz gave the briefest of smiles and uncrossed his arms in order to gently nudge Jemma’s shoulder. “I can think of a few.” Much to Daisy’s confusion, a little blush spread across Jemma’s cheeks then and she rewarded Fitz with a small smile of her own. “You’re just stressed, Jemma. Everything’s gonna be fine.”  Daisy doubted that Fitz much believed that himself, and knew that Jemma didn’t either, but cleverly, he didn’t allow her a moment to argue before he had shifted behind her chair. His hands rose to her shoulders, setting to massaging the stress out himself.

The move seemed a bit odd to Daisy, because while Fitzsimmons had always had zero personal space and were pretty touchy-feely, things had been kind of strained between them since the whole Maveth debacle, and she’d thought they were just getting back to normal, not quite on this level yet.

Jemma didn’t seem to find anything wrong with Fitz’s actions, though. She let out a pleased sigh, dropping her head to the side to give him more room to work with as she murmured, “Oh, that feels heavenly.”

“You need to stop worrying yourself to death,” Fitz admonished with a shake of his head, but Daisy knew him well enough to hear the concern in his tone that he was attempting to hide. “There’s only so much that I can offer in stress relief before you become just a big ball of tension.”

Much to Daisy’s confusion, an almost…flirty smile crossed Jemma’s lips then as she replied lowly, “You sure about that?”

Fitz’s hands suddenly paused, resting on Jemma’s shoulders, and he seemed to take a moment to swallow before he responded, his accent heavier than usual, “I guess we’ll just have to see.”

Daisy’s brow furrowed as she watched what would be blatant foreplay between anyone but her oblivious nerdy friends. She had to be misunderstanding something, reading further into it than she should’ve been, because there was no way that they’d figured their shit out finally and it wasn’t already all over the base. Fitzsimmons were hardly known for their subtlety, after all.

Jemma spun around in her chair to face Fitz, standing before him and stepping way into his personal space bubble. Her arms rose to loop around his neck, and she almost seemed to be leaning in closer. But, she paused when he told her seriously, “I mean it, Jem. This isn’t all on you – you don’t need to single-handedly solve all of the world’s problems.”

Jemma’s playful smile faded in an instant, her gaze dropping as she took a deep breath, and Daisy didn’t understand why Fitz had said anything that would cause the first smile that she’d seen her friend wear in so long to disappear. But, at least Jemma hadn’t stepped away and put any distance between herself and Fitz, so that was something. “Fitz…”

“I’m right here with you,” he reminded her softly, his hands lifting to rest on her hips. In all her years of being friends with Fitzsimmons, Daisy had never seen them take on a pose this intimate before; she was beginning to doubt her claim that a relationship between them at this point was completely preposterous. “Always. Talk to me, or don’t, but I’m here for as long as you’ll have me, Jemma.”

At his words, Jemma’s smile returned, seeming to brighten up the whole room. But, this smile was softer, warmer, more…intimate, and Daisy had the odd feeling that she shouldn’t be witnessing what was clearly meant for Fitz’s eyes only. “I hope you’re prepared for a lifetime of my chronic worrying and my love of disgusting biology and my constant nagging to eat less sugar and drink more water, then. Oh, which speaking of, did you –”

“Yes,” Fitz interrupted, rolling his eyes fondly. “Jemma, I signed up for a lifetime of your quirks over a decade ago. I hardly think anything has changed since then. In fact, I’ve only become more resolved to spend my life by your side.”

Jemma beamed up at him, pressing herself nearer to his body even as she tugged him closer as well. “Good. I mean, not that I would’ve let you leave anyway, but –”

Much to Daisy’s utter shock, Fitz cut Jemma off this time by swooping in to capture her lips with his, and in a single moment she was proven completely wrong – somehow, at some point, her two best friends in the whole world had finally realized what everyone had known for so long and gotten together. And it was more beautiful and nauseating than she’d ever imagined.

When the two nerds came up for air, Fitz stayed close, resting his forehead on Jemma’s, and they were just smiling at each other almost dopily at each other, looking perfectly in love – as it should be, Daisy couldn’t help but think with a wide and satisfied smile. Softly, he asked, “Are you going to cut back on the stress, or at least talk some of it out with me?”

Jemma gave an exaggerated little sigh, but her smile was still firmly in place. “I suppose. After all, what good is a boyfriend if you can’t burden him with your problems?”

Daisy lifted a hand to cover her mouth in an attempt to stifle her squeal as Jemma unintentionally confirmed their relationship for her. Beneath her hand, there was now a huge grin taking over her face, and she was happier than she had been in what felt like forever.

“You’re not burdening me,” Fitz disagreed fiercely, pulling back a bit to frown down at Jemma once more. “I may be your boyfriend now, but I’m still and always will be your best friend first. You can tell me anything.”

Jemma’s hands shifted from behind Fitz’s head to cupping his cheeks, her thumbs fondly stroking his skin, and she let out a little sigh as she smiled tenderly up at him. “I know that, Fitz.”

Fitz didn’t seem too happy when she just left it at that, but he nodded in understanding regardless, lifting his hands to gently pull hers away from his face, bringing their joined hands to his lips to press kisses to Jemma’s fingers. After a long, silent moment, he suggested quietly, “I think it’s about time we got some sleep. Now that Daisy’s home safe, maybe we’ll actually get a full night’s rest.”

The words as effective as a bucket of ice water, Daisy was abruptly reminded of everything that had happened in the past few weeks, everything that she’d all but forgotten as she reveled in the happiness her two closest friends had found together. At Fitz’s revelation of the toll that she’d taken on them, guilt grew and laid thick and heavy in her throat, making it difficult to breathe.

For a brief moment, she almost opened her mouth to spout an apology, the need to tell them how sorry she was a burning ache in her chest. But, when she noticed a moment later that both Fitz and Jemma were turning in her direction, she instantly and automatically closed her eyes, pretending to be asleep. Yes, she was desperate to apologize for the things she’d done while under Hive’s control, but she also knew that the conversation they’d just shared was incredibly personal; Daisy didn’t want to add eavesdropping to any kind of list of her transgressions they might have.

“The poor thing,” Jemma sighed sadly. “I hope she’s resting up. God knows if that monster even allowed her a chance to sleep.”

“At least it’s over now,” Fitz commented with a heavy sigh of his own.

“We can only hope,” she replied quietly. For a long moment, there was no sound. Then, Daisy heard their retreating footsteps, and dared to crack her eyes open a bit to watch as they left the lab hand-in-hand, likely taking the late hour of the night to mean that there was no one around to witness their casual displays of affection.

Once they’d disappeared in the direction of the bunks, Daisy opened her eyes fully, sagging back into her pillow. Slowly, a tiny little smile curved her lips, and she was glad that at least one good thing seemed to have come out of the shitstorm that had been the past few weeks.

[dilkirani]

52 for the prompts please :)

things you said with my lips on your neck–I’m the worst, this is so old you’ve probably forgotten you sent it, haha. 

tw: childhood abuse mention. this idea came from some of the theories floating around after last week’s ep which I don’t want to believe but couldn’t get out of my head. :(

@itsavolcano for always reading/editing my angst, lol.

++

When Fitz walks in, staggering under an armful of grocery bags, he sees his heavily-pregnant wife sitting at their kitchen table amongst piles of papers neatly organized and color-coded.

“What’s all this?” he asks, setting the groceries down with a thud and taking a moment to catch his breath. Jemma doesn’t respond immediately, holding a hand protectively against her rounded belly and tracing the edges of a faded document with her fingernail.

“Your mum dropped by,” she finally replies, voice hardly more than a whisper. Fitz furrows his brow, not remembering his mother mentioning a visit, when Jemma continues, “She brought those medical records I asked for.”

“Oh, right,” Fitz grins. “So you could provide the doctors with the most accurate medical history any baby’s ever had.” He pulls up a chair next to her and gently kisses her cheek to show he’s only teasing. Jemma Simmons excels at preparation, and he’s always secretly loved it about her. At any rate, he’s not dumb enough to fight his eight-months-pregnant wife about the necessity of this information anyway.

Jemma doesn’t smile though. She doesn’t lean into his kiss. She just closes her eyes and Fitz brushes a strand of hair back from her face in worry.

“Jemma, what is it? Did something happen?”

She pushes the file she’d been reading towards him. “What…what does this mean?” Her tone isn’t curious, really, or even accusatory. He can’t quite parse it and he stares at her for a moment in concern before focusing his attention on the yellowed paper in front of him.

“Oh,” he says, feeling his throat suddenly constrict. Fitz, Leopold James. Date of Birth: 19 August 1987. Date of Admittance: 12 September 1993. Possible multiple compound fracture, left proximal humerus.

It’s so clinical, he thinks. Reading the admitting nurse’s notes and the treatment options, he finds he can hardly remember the pain and the panic, the terror of being surrounded by so many sick people, the nauseating combination of antiseptic and blood filling his nostrils, the way his mother had held onto his good arm much too tightly.

“It says you fell down the stairs,” Jemma says, and he notices for the first time the tears hanging in her lashes. “You didn’t fall down the stairs, did you?”

“I did!” he snaps defensively, without thinking. He hadn’t lied at the hospital, not completely. He remembers the doctor’s suspicious looks and the fear that he might be taken away from his mother, so he had told the truth as far as he could and hoped no one would press any further.

But he is not six years old anymore, and Jemma is not here to steal him away from his home. Jemma, after all, is his home. He has always been safe with her.

“I did,” he repeats, more calmly this time. “I just happened to get pushed first.”

Jemma inhales a deep, shuddering breath and nods, putting a hand against her mouth like she’d known the answer but hadn’t expected to ever find proof.

“I thought…” she starts, choking on her words, “when you said…at the bottom of the ocean, you mentioned it. But I don’t know, you were so calm and with everything that was happening, I always thought maybe it was just a…a sports injury or something. I don’t know why I never asked. When you told me about your father, at the Academy, you told me what he’d said to you. Why didn’t you tell me about the rest of it?”

“Jemma,” he whispers, folding her in his arms and pressing a kiss to the top of her head. His touch seems to break whatever little control she has, because she starts shaking and his t-shirt is immediately soaked with her tears.

He sighs. “I don’t know. When I told you about him, I’d never told anyone before. I didn’t know how to say it. And you know…of everything he did, I think I always believed this was really an accident. He was drunk—I don’t think he meant to shove me so hard, it was just bad luck.”

She leans back to look at him, and he knows she doesn’t believe for a moment that it was an accident. He also knows she’ll never argue with him, in case he needs to believe that it was.

He wipes a tear from her cheek with his thumb, feeling so much love in his heart he’s wrecked with it. “Jem,” he says, “it was so long ago. It’s not worth you getting this upset about.”

She shakes her head fiercely. “No, Fitz. He should have been protecting you. And it wasn’t that long ago, it all happened again and I should have protected you and I didn’t.”

“What?” he asks, not following her train of thought. He cups her face and kisses her forehead, trying to calm her down. She says he worries far too much about her now that she’s pregnant, but he doesn’t like seeing her so worked up.

“In the…over there. He was there for so long and if I’d gotten to you first, if I’d tried harder, maybe…maybe you wouldn’t have all these memories with him.”

“Oh, love,” he sighs, nuzzling her nose with his own and drawing her back into his arms. “There was nothing you could have done, you have to know that. And anyway, a lot of those memories are fading. It’s strange; at first they were so real it was hard to differentiate, but the false ones keep getting fuzzier.”

“You’re lying to make me feel better,” she mumbles against his chest, and he laughs.

“No, it’s true. You can ask my counselor, I just told her about it the other week. I’ll sign some confidentiality waiver for you, I’m sure that’s a thing.”

It’s quiet for a moment, still except for his hand rubbing soothing circles over her back. He can feel her inhalations and exhalations evening out, just slightly.

“I hate him,” she says, when she finally speaks. “I hate him more than I’ve ever hated anyone in my entire life. I hate him so much I feel sick with it.”

Fitz thinks he should probably hate his father too, but he can’t quite manage it. His complicated feelings towards the man are one of many things he’s working to untangle in therapy. But he feels oddly like Jemma has taken this burden of hatred for him, and he is suddenly overcome with gratitude.

“Well, I suppose that’s something good from the Framework—you kicked his arse. And I got to witness it. That’s a spectacular memory.”

Jemma laughs, although the sound comes out all wrong, mingled with her tears. He kisses her softly, touching his lips to hers, to her forehead, her cheek, her jaw, to her neck where he can feel the thrum of her pulse, steady and reorienting. Maybe there were less painful ways to reach here, but he’s here and that’s all that matters.

“I love you,” she says, the vibrations from her words humming against his lips. “I love you more than I could ever possibly tell you.”

He kisses her again before resting his head on her shoulder. He places a hand against her stomach, grinning when their baby kicks. He loves her, loves them both, more than he can possibly say, either.

“Let’s take a walk,” he suggests. “It’s a beautiful day. We can go to your favorite park and I might could be convinced to buy you an ice cream.”

She smiles and nods her agreement, so he helps her carefully to her feet. She walks across the kitchen to grab her purse, and he picks up his hospital record, running a finger along the thick creases. It’s just a piece of paper, but it feels so heavy in his hands.

When he turns to toss it in the rubbish bin, Jemma raises her eyebrows in concern. “Are you sure?” she asks.

Fitz nods, surprised at how confident he feels. “We don’t need it. And…” he looks at her, shrugging. “Some memories I’d rather not memorialize.” He drops it into the bin unceremoniously and stares for a moment, wondering for a brief second if anything will happen.

But nothing does, and he’s okay with that. He takes Jemma’s hand, pulling her to his side and breathing a little easier for the relief of one more burden left behind.

[marvelousbirthdays]

Happy Birthday,  phantomofthenightclub!

May 3 - "What’s your favorite silverware? Because I like to spoon!” Jemma/Bucky or Karen Page/Frank Castle for @phantomofthenightclub

This is Jemma/Bucky, unashamedly pulling from the classic ‘huddling for warmth’ trope :3

Written by @cinnaatheart (CinnaAtHeart on AO3)

The cabin is so many shades of ‘disaster waiting to happen’ Jemma can scarcely believe it actually exists. The tiny, one-bedroom homestead is hidden in the wilds of Canada, an hour’s drive from the nearest township. The bedroom itself is poky and cramped, the mattress on the bed at least a few decades old, and the kitchen- if one could really call it that- smells ever so faintly of rancid meat and cigarette smoke. So far out, the cabin isn’t hooked to the power grid, powered instead by a generator that could be described as shonky at best, and don’t even get her started on the bathroom. It’s a horror show on all levels, and more than once she pinches herself, as though somehow it might wake her from this walking nightmare of a mission.

Jemma’s suspects their ‘banishment’ here is half-research assignment, half an excuse to keep Barnes hidden in the aftermath of the latest international disaster. Another ‘favour for a friend’, no doubt, though Coulson had been sketchy on the details.

She doesn’t quite know what to think of Barnes. He seems quiet for the most part; when she saw him back at base, he seemed to move tentatively, like he’s afraid of making himself noticeable. A helpless case there; more than once Jemma’s had to remind herself to stop staring, all too easily entranced by the graceful utility of his movements and his muted smile when he sees something he likes. It’s… distracting, and she’d been almost relieved to finally reach the cabin and have him run off as soon as she’d set her bags down..

She sighs, and stares glumly down at the generator, lit dimly by the torch on her phone. Unsurprisingly, it had gone kaput about ten minutes ago, taking with it their only source of light. “Damn,” she huffs. She looks over the machine, searching for any evidence of a fault, breath turning to a thick fog around her. “Why couldn’t Fitz have come along?”

“What’s wrong?”

Jemma yelps, and her phone tumbles from her frozen grip, landing with a disappointing thwack in the slush around the generator. “Bugger,” she growls, and bends down to retrieve it, wiping the mud off carefully. “You scared me,” she says, glaring over at Barnes half-heartedly. He at least has the grace to look sheepish, his face deeply shadowed by the moonlight. She wonders, briefly, where he’s been all day.

“Sorry,” he says. He scratches at the back on his head awkwardly, and motions to the generator. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know,” Jemma fusses, and turns back to the machine. “It just… stopped working! I have a basic knowledge of how it works, but Fitz is the engineer, not me.”

“Hmm,” he hums. He shoulders past her, and Jemma tries not to inhale too deeply at the scent of him; leather and the sharp, astringent scent of pine needles. Rude.

Barnes crouches down beside the generator, and looks over it curiously; Jemma tries to light his view for him with her phone, but she doubts there’s much they can do in the dark. Better off really to wait until morning to see what the problem is.

As if to confirm her thoughts, Barnes settles back on his haunches, looking put out. “Beats me what’s wrong with it,” he sighs, breath misting. “Guess we’ll just have to live by candlelight tonight.”

Jemma bites her lip, and misses the way his gaze lingers on her mouth. “Do you think we can fix it tomorrow? I need to be able to use my computer.”

He shrugs. “Maybe? I’m no expert, but I think we can work it out.”

She nods, satisfied. A cold breeze rustles through the trees, and through the silhouetted branches, she watches a mass of clouds creep over the moon. She shivers. “I wonder if it’ll snow again.”

Barnes scowls and stands, fussing with the thick scarf wrapped around his neck. “I hope not. C’mon, we should get inside.”

“Right,” Jemma says absently, and she lets him lead her around the cabin and inside. It’s significantly warmer, though she’d let the wood-burning stove go cold hours ago, and the fire’s died down. “Where have you been, anyway?”

He shrugs off his coat and hangs it on one of the hooks by the door, kicking off his muddy boots with a graceful efficiency. She copies him, and grimaces as she realises how much warmth she’s let leech away from the rooms, the chill of the wood seeping through her socks. Shouldn’t have let herself get distracted by her work.

Barnes ambles over to the fire and tosses in another cut log. “Just out,” he says. “Felt like going for a walk.”

“All day?” she blurts out, and when he glances over at her she blushes, fumbling for the right thing to say. “Sorry- it’s just- you know…”

He shakes his head, looking wary. “No, I don’t know.”

Jemma shrugs helplessly. “Well… most people I know don’t go for day long ‘walks’ through the wilds of Canada in the middle of winter! Did you even take food?”

He pinks and glances away. “I… didn’t want to get in your hair,” he says quietly. Jemma blinks in surprise.

“Why would you get in my hair?”

His mouth twists. She finds his micro-expressions fascinating. For a former assassin, Jemma thinks, he’s not terribly good at school his emotions. “I’ve seen you work. At base,” he explains, every word slow and deliberate, “you seem to get very… absorbed. I didn’t want to break your concentration.”

“Oh,” she says, and looks away. She can’t think of anything else to say.

--

Jemma shifts in her bed for the umpteenth time, curled in on herself to try and stave off the bitter cold. The main room of the cabin may be warm- thanks to the fire and the stove- but the poky little bedroom Barnes had insisted she take is freezing, even with four layers of blankets and a woollen duvet. Sleeping had been a lost cause the moment she’d slipped into bed.

At her wit’s end, she sighs and slips out of the bed. The duvet she hangs around her shoulders like a cape, and determined, she pick up her musty-smelling pillow and wanders out into the main room. The change in temperature is immediate, the fire stoked so enthusiastically she almost begins to sweat.

Barnes- spread languidly across the single, uncharacteriscally spacious futon, book in hand- looks up. “Hey,” he says, looking confused. The warm orange light of the fire casts his face is rich shadows. “What’s up?”

“I…” Jemma shuffles self-consciously. She feels oddly child-like, draped in her blanket and clutching her pillow like a teddy-bear. If Barnes thinks the same, he shows no sign of it. “I couldn’t sleep. My room is freezing.”

“Ah,” he says. He dog-ears his page and drops the paperback on the floor. “Did you want the couch?”

“No, no! It’s fine! I can just sleep on the floor.”

He frowns at her. “I ain’t gonna let a woman sleep on the floor,” he says disapprovingly.

“It’s fine, really! I’ve slept on far worse!”

“Bull.” He shakes his head and sits up. In his sweatpants and knitted jumper, he looks soft and unfairly handsome; miles away from the legend he carried for fifty years. “The floor’ll leach the warmth right outta you.”

“Fine,” she capitulates. It’s late, she reasons, and she’s tired. “We could share the couch though…? I mean, if that’s okay with you…”

His brows rise in surprise and he blinks at her. “Yeah alright.”

He lies back down and holds up his blanket, and it’s Jemma’s turn to stare at him in surprise. His mouth curls into a smirk. “C’mon doll,” he says. “I’m getting’ cold here. No shame in keeping warm.”

“Right!’ Jemma is certain her entire face is on fire, but she drops her pillow and sits down tentatively at the edge of the futon. She had meant sleep end-to-end, but when a man like Barnes offers to share his space, she’s not about to object. She’s selfish like that.

He smiles and tugs her down, tucking her back against him and pulls his blankets over the top of them. “Do you mind?” he asks quietly, hand hovering over her waist.

“It’s fine,” she says again, feeling stiff and ungainly as she shifts, trying to get herself comfortable despite her acute awareness of his proximity. He murmurs a ‘thanks’ into her hair, and curls his arm around her waist. Jemma’s mouth goes dry, heart stuttering in her chest.

“If it makes you feel any better, I promise not to let my hands wander.”

“I’m sure,” she says. “Sorry to make you share.”

He chuckles, low and soft. “Oh, I dunno,” he drawls, and Jemma may not be able to see him, but she can hear his smirk plain as day, “I’m always up for a nice spoon.”

“Oh my God,” she says, face burning. “Please shut up.”

“What’s wrong, doll? Got another piece of silverware in mind?”

“I have no idea what that means, but I can hear the euphemism in your voice.”

He laughs again, and his arm tightens around Jemma’s waist. Barnes is blissfully warm, the smell of pine weaker now, but still present. She stares into the fire, hypnotised by the flames. They’re peaceful.

“Don’t worry,” he says eventually. Jemma twitches in his hold, and tries not to dwell on the strange intimacy in his voice. “My intentions are pure, I swear.”

She giggles despite herself. “What a relief,” she drawls, her speech slurring with a wide, jaw-cracking yawn.

“You should sleep.”

“Mm. So should you.”

“Don’t worry about me, doll. You get your beauty sleep. You need it.”

She scoffs in mock outrage and elbows him in the gut, and Barnes yelps, flinching backwards. “Rude!” she scolds him and he cackles, the sound loud and cheery in her ear.

“Sorry- sorry!” he laughs. “I’ll behave, I swear.”

“Liar,” she grumbles, but she hides her smile beneath the blankets. This man is going to be the death of her, she’s sure.