#jeong yuno fanfic

[bloodmoonmuses]

gardenia (can't get you)- jeong jaehyun

warnings: slight body horror (mentions of bones, dismemberment as a metaphor), mentions of death, stalking

genre: florist!jaehyun x gn reader, mystery, drabble (one thousand words)

summary: jaehyun can't seem to get you out of his system.

The hairs on the back of your neck stick up and you know he’s watching you, as he had been for the past week or so, but you needed the energetic confirmation, to be in close proximity enough to feel his gaze descend upon you. You knock the slurry of snow and mud off your boots, bones chilled to the marrow, as you trudge down the sidewalk. 

Jeong Jaehyun. Florist. Botanist. Rumored mad scientist. The folklore shrouding him had gotten so wild, so absurd, that you’re not sure what’s true anymore; the most tame of the stories being that he goes by a fake name and the craziest being that he uses human remains to fertilize his flowers. A thicket of lies and convoluted jokes sputtered over drinks at the occasional after-work rendezvous. 

And you had passed his flower shop so many times, blissfully unaware of the intrigue that lay inside it, that it’s almost funny. An unassuming place really, with its chipped paint and signs scrawled with chalk- if anything, you’d have called it charming. Now, the sign that reads “J’s Flowers & Stationery” sends a shiver down your spine. 

Seven days ago, last Sunday, you had caught Jaehyun peeking at you through his blinds, his apartment window directly across from yours. At the time, you had written it off as having an active imagination- you hadn’t been getting much sleep lately. That was until he appeared at the grocery store. Then the dog park. And the post office. Each time vanishing as quickly as he had materialized. 

Surely it was just a coincidence, you had thought to yourself, stretching the truth in an attempt at assuaging your anxiety. He lives in the neighborhood and you hadn’t noticed him before. But when he starts appearing at your place of employment, glimpses of him flashing during your lunch break or as you leave the office, you knew the run-ins were intentional.

And thus here you are, parading around his establishment under the guise of searching for Gardenias, which Jaehyun tells you are not in season.

“Perhaps a Primrose or Pansy bouquet would tickle your fancy?” he asks. In lieu of words, you simply stare back at the man, eyes as icy as your fingertips currently are. “Who’s it for?”

You deny him the satisfaction of hearing your voice, an unearned reward for a man with a habit of stalking his neighbors. He’s probably aching for it, you figure- imagining what pitch and cadence your voice contains. 

So you give him one word to work with- not even a “hello” or “how’s your day”-  just “Gardenia". 

The word is clipped and curt as it escapes you, bouncing off the hollow walls with an unsettling warble. Jaehyun stands in the middle of the shop, a splotch of darkness surrounded by bright blooms, and the two of you wade in the uncomfortable silence, each passing minute a wave that jostles you just so. A stalemate of sorts, giving you an opportunity to drink up his visage.

The clashing of dark and light features make Jaehyun striking- stark even. Dark: his eyes, his hair, his clothes. Light: his fingers, deft and tactful, the linen fabric he’s clad in, his smile, airy and slight. 

The hunter is now predator and prey. You dissect him  with your eyes, dismembering his form; His twitching nose, his red ears, his nervous hands. The lines have been blurred. Who will break first? Bite first. Draw blood. And it’s a dance, a routine between the two of you, the way you walk in and deny him of everything except the word Gardenia. Its meaning morphs as it floats between the two of you, sweeter each time it graces your tongue. 

Monday: “Gardenias,” you mutter as a bell rings upon your entrance. 

Jaehyun’s eyes focus on the movement of your lips, licking his own in quiet hunger. “Yes, Gardenias.”

Tuesday. “Gardenia?” Jaehyun says before you can breathe out your one word greeting. He says it as though it’s your name. A smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth, revealing a dimple.

Wednesday. Instead of a placard denoting an empty section of flowers as “Gardenias”, Jaehyun has replaced the small chalk sign with your name. “For when they’re in season,” he states.

Thursday. Jaehyun gives you a postcard with watercolor Gardenias adorning the front of it. His eyes are soft as he slides the paper across the counter. You wonder if he painted them himself.

Friday. Slowly, you’ve stopped looking over your shoulder every few minutes. In a twisted way, you look forward to seeing him. You shake off the feeling while quickening your pace to reach him before the shop closes for the evening. (An hour early on Fridays.) The bell rings and Jaehyun doesn’t even turn around. He just says, “Gardenia?” Again, like it’s your name. Your heart swells and you fight to temper the feeling.

“Stop following me,” you bite, finally breaking the week-long stalemate. Finally fed up with this game of passcode. At this, Jaehyun turns around, meeting your eyes with little hesitation, and you’re lost in the dark abyss of his, endless and vast.

Keys in hand, he walks up to the door in front of which you’re standing, the closest he’s ever been to you. His breath fans over your face as he leans into you, lips grazing the shell of your ear. He smells of smoke and cinnamon.

“Okay,” Jaehyun whispers, his deep timbre rattling your core. Then, without another word, he exits the shop, locking the door behind the two of you and vanishing into the night. 

You walk in the opposite direction, turning on the kitchen light after entering your apartment. 

Waiting on your dining room table, in a pristine bouquet wrapped in brown paper, is a bunch of Gardenias, so white and sterile that they look fake. They’re ice cold to the touch and slightly damp as if they’d been thawing from a frozen state. Instinctually, you look over your shoulder, jerking your head with such force that it hurts, only to find your own shadow. 

Beside the bouquet lays a note that simply reads: “J.” The dead of winter howls outside your window like a wounded puppy as you throw the flowers away. 

You never see Jaehyun again.

a/n: thx for reading, feedback is always appreciated! <3

[jaehyunvideos]

this jaehyun.

🎬💭: JCC ep. 21 ' W magazine shoot '

[gingrrfrog]

my lord, i am so sorry to my ao3 friends who have been waiting so patiently for the ivoire chapter. honestly i thought i had already posted it 😭 imagine my surprise when i looked at my schedule and noticed more than two weeks had passed since i posted it

it's been a rough month, very bad depression, my new boss sucks, and im in the process of looking for a new job...aghh...being an adult sucks so fucking bad

added onto my sorrow is my newly sprained ankle...maybe that will help me sit my ass down and write something

here is the link! thank you forever for ur patience <3

[renjuntothemoon]

Love and Interventions by orphan_account (Teen And Up Audiences, 10,850 words)

As far as men go, Jaehyun likes to consider himself a pretty good one. He doesn’t lie, or cheat, or treat people badly. He just wants to live his life and make the money he needs to provide for his family. A good man.

That all being said, he’s not exactly sure why he’s stood here, in “Nation’s Dream Boy” Lee Haechan’s house, across from said (very grumpy) Dream Boy and his less-than-thrilled partner.

or

Donghyuck and Renjun have a great time tormenting the reality TV show hosts that show up at their door.

My thoughts: i love mysteries, i love them, they deserve happiness, i love all the dreamies in this, yes

AO3 Tags: Alternate Universe - Reality Show, Pop Star Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Established Relationship, this is ridiculous btw, Jaehyun is so so confused, but he's pretty!, NCT Dream Ensemble Are Best Friends, obviously

[ephemeralbvtch]

Hostage

Pairings: domagent!jaehyun x f!reader

Synopsis: Getting abducted by your ex for something you weren’t even completely aware of. 

Genre: angst/ smut

Warnings: kidnapping, holding hostage, sexual intercourse, sexual harassment, fingering, use of derogatory terms, use of profanities, mention of gun, mention of, killing, shooting, use of knife, acts of physical violence, overstimulation, denying orgasms

•••

You shivered as the cold wind blew past your face. From the shattered window, a gust of winter wind blew over you. You were sure that your wrists were lined with bracelets of red. The result of having a rope tied around them.

Bang

Your legs gave away the sound of a gunshot and you let yourself move downwards, against the pillar you were tied to. 12 more to go. How long did you have to suffer in this hell of a place? You had asked yourself this the moment you were dragged into the abandoned building. The agents holding you captive had all the power they needed. One word from the guy who led them and you’d have all your heads blown off.

“Are you going to give in now?” a familiar voice boomed a few feet ahead of you.

You dared not look at the face. You sucked in your breath and waited still. Out of the fourteen people that were dragged into this place, two were ministers and the rest were your students back at the university.

The footsteps neared towards where you stood and once again the voice echoed the silent walls, “Aren’t you ashamed of yourself? I killed those two men and you’re still not going to give in?”

The grandfather clock at the end of hallway ticked. The silence was weighing you down. You had no choice but to keep quiet, which also meant that you were putting the lives of your students at stake.

You nodded your head sideways.

A sigh escaped the mouth of the man who stood in front of you. He took short steps towards one of your students and pulled them up so they would stand. The rest of the students that were kneeling on the floor whimpered in fear.

“Shut your fucking traps!”

“Leave the girl alone. Don’t touch her or else-“

“Or else, you’ll do what?” He asked as he released the girl, who then fell onto the floor on her trembling thighs. Helpless, because her hands were tied to her back just as yours were, she lay there. The rest of the children only watched in what was a look of pity and fear.

The man grabbed your hair and yanked it back, earning a whimper from you, “Tell me what you’ll do if I kill all the students in this room. Will you then give in and tell me where the goddamn flash drive is?”

“Jaehyun please…” you begged as you looked at him with pleading eyes.

“What?” He spat looking directly into your eyes.

“Don’t do this. Please. Just leave them out of this. I promise I’ll make sure they keep quiet. Just let them go. I promise I’ll stay.”

Letting go of your hair, he stepped back. As if in consideration, he looked at the students and back at you. You watched him in fear, trying to comprehend what exactly was going in that messed up head of his. He squatted, meeting your height. You pulled your folded legs closer to your body, as if to move away from him. Jaehyun noticed this and chuckled.

To test it further, he held a hand out to caress your cheek and you turned your head away from him.

“Now you’re disgusted by me? What happened to the times when you screamed out my bloody name while I fucked you and sucked me dry in your office, huh?”

Blood rushed up to your face and you avoided looking at the faces of your students.

“Did you forget the times-“

“Jeong Jaehyun! Stop it right now. How dare you shamelessly-“

A bruising grip on your face halted your talking. You winced at the pain and looked him in the eyes. He shrugged and harshly took his grasping fingers off your face.

“Okay, you’re still not giving in. I have no other choice but to...” continued Jaehyun as he walked towards the group of students who had their hands tied behind their backs and kept in a line. You watched in shock as he pulled the trigger of his gun and moved it in front of the terrified kids.

The moment he aimed it at the girl he had pulled out earlier, you screamed,

“I’ll tell you. I’ll tell you so just please don’t shoot her.”

A satisfying smirk painted across Jaehyun’s face. As he came over to you and pulled you to your feet, his smug smile disappeared into a thin line. His stone face came into view and you looked at him in utter disgust.

You just couldn’t believe that you’d slept with a man who was scheming against you the day he was aware of your existence. When you had found out about his plan, a text message sent to the wrong person by accident, one that had raised red flags, he was already in action the very next day. After days of avoiding you, he finally abducted you a day ago, alongside your group of 12 students for leverage purposes and two other acquaintances of your father. Your father who had always put his job before his family and life. You bet he wasn’t even aware that you were abducted because of him.

And his bloody flash drive.

A flash drive you were aware of but should have ignored digging deeper. Upon getting to know about the flash drive you had tried asking your father about it. Which is exactly how Jaehyun ended up being ordered to tail you and get close to you. After finally setting up a place to meet up with your father, whom you saw very rarely, you had talked to him about the flash drive. He hadn’t told you much despite your stubborn inquiry, but all he had told you was that the flash drive contained vital information regarding a Supreme Committee leader and that it was kept somewhere safe. By the looks of why Jaehyun needed this flash drive it was clearly visible that he was working under this said leader, whoever that was.

“Speak,” the voice commanded and you broke off from your daze.

The two of you had already arrived at a closed room that seemed like an old interrogation room. You stood still, refusing to sit. He clicked his tongue in annoyance and took out his gun to place it on the table. You looked at it and thought of ways to grab hold of it. Behind your arms, your fingers slowly worked their way through the ropes around your wrists. When he had dragged you here, Jaehyun had removed the rope and retied your wrists together. Which meant that he hadn’t actually tied your wrists properly, or rather they were loosely tied the second time.

“Can you lend me your sweater? It’s cold,” you asked him.

For a brief moment, he paused and then agreed. He raised his arms to pull off the black sweater he was wearing. Right then you ripped out your hands from the rope and grabbed the gun.

The moment you grabbed the gun and pulled the trigger, Jaehyun pulled back the sweater on. He stood up immediately and looked at you. His tongue prodded against the inside of his left cheek as he walked towards you at a slow pace.

“Put that gun down, darling,” he murmured while keeping eye contact with you.

You, on the other hand, held the gun with your trembling hands and tried hard to not let your glassy eyes give you away. It was exhausting in many ways. To be holding a gun towards the man you loved for almost quarter of a year was hard.

Since you didn’t put the gun down, Jaehyun tried a different approach. The approach where he threatened you, “If you shoot me now, there’ll be agents outside who’ll come in and kill you and all those kids outside.”

You thought about the kids outside and fretted a little. If what he was saying was the truth then you were risking innocent lives. Still, you didn’t budge and he clicked his tongue once again before taking a few huge strides towards you. Startled, you lost track of what you were doing as he pulled the gun away from you. Unloading the bullets, he threw the gun to the corner of the room and slapped you across your face.

“I was being nice to you and you took fucking advantage of that?” he asked, his voice laced with fury.

You held your reddened cheek and looked at him with slanted eyes. He looked down at you and you stood up wanting to get back at him for slapping you. He reacted almost immediately as your hand came flying towards his face. He twisted your arm behind you and pushed you to the wall with the mirror.

“What the fuck are you trying on me? We made a deal. I don’t shoot the kids and you tell me where the flash drive is.”

“You made a deal. I. Never. Agreed,” you spat back.

Jaehyun roughly pulled you away from the wall and bent you over the table. He removed his belt and tied your hands behind your back.

“Guess I’d have to fuck your brains out so that you’ll tell me where it is.”

“Don’t touch me with your filthy hands,” you retaliated and he ignored your snide remarks as he continued to assault you while kicking the sides of your feet apart to make the stance of your legs wider.

You uncomfortably shifted at the feeling of a firm dent rubbing against your back. The feeling was all too familiar and you knew what exactly it was, but this wasn’t the right place nor the right time for it.

“Jaehyun, let’s just talk this out. This is clearly sexual harras-”

Before you were able to complete the sentence, your mouth was blocked with a balled-up piece of cloth. Jaehyun grabbed the waist of your dress pants, attempting to pull it down. Underneath him, you thrashed around, in an effort to avoid his filthy actions. But you failed miserably. Jaehyun successfully pulled down your pants alongside your panties. You were now shamefully, bent underneath him, with your lower half exposed to the coldness of the room.

A shudder ran through your body, erupting goosebumps on the smoothness of your skin, when Jaehyun ran his fingers down the middle of your back.

“I’m going to fuck that little bitch attitude of yours out of this place, so you’ll cooperate to my demands and tell me where the motherfucking flash drive is.”

With that, he pushed in a digit to your dripping cunt, curling it inwards and pumping it in and out. Jaehyun menacingly watched as your squirmed underneath his grip. When your thighs started shuddering, he felt you getting closer to your release. Quickly, pulling out his fingers, he smirked when he heard your sniffle at the denied orgasm. He was the first man to touch you back then so he was fully aware of how exactly to turn you on. Once again, he pushed in his digits, this time three at once and watched as you tried your best to silence your moans. Just as he did previously, Jaehyun pumped it in and out at a much faster pace. You whined as he constantly curled in his fingers, hitting the perfect spots inside your warm cavern. Right as you were about to cum, he pulled out his fingers with a smirk on his face.

“You thought I’d let you go that easily?” he asked in a mocking tone as he slipped the balled piece of cloth from your mouth, waiting for an answer from you.

You felt ashamed for being turned on at his torment.

“Jaehyun, let’s talk this out,” you pleaded as tears slipped down your bruised face.

“There’s no talking, Y/N. I need the place. That’s all.”

“I don’t know the place.”

“Don’t fucking lie to my face.”

“I’m telling you the truth,” you tried again. Your attempt to change his mind on letting you go was getting harder, because Jaehyun was acting spiteful and you were not able to knock some sense into him at all.

He nodded his head a couple times, vexed at your behaviour and reached out to unzip his pants. From the upper corner of your vision, you could see a terrorizing smile creep his face. He was enjoying your frightened state. As your worst fears began turning into reality you screamed for help. Not that it did any justice to the state you were in, but you hoped Jaehyun would at least pity you and avoid abusing you in the most shameful manner.

“Jaehyun please- You know this is not right,” you begged as streams of your despair ran down your face.

All you heard in return was the ruffle of his pants pooling around his ankles. Jaehyun’s low groans as he touched and fondled with your skin made you wither away from him. You were unable to process how the exact same man who had touched and made love to you in your own bed was now treating you much worse than anything you could ever describe.

At your wits end you screamed again, trying to grab someone’s attention, but Jaehyun was quick to mute your mouth with the same piece of cloth he had used on you earlier. The balled cloth in your mouth didn’t help at all. You felt your throat go dry as you continued screaming. When Jaehyun was done slicking up the juices that were drooling down from your cunt he prodded his reddened tip in your entrance. You knew it was going to hurt, because he was always too big for you. Biting into the cloth in your mouth, you also made sure to grip onto the belt that were tied around your wrists. Jaehyun watched as your knuckles, that were pressed onto his stomach at a painful angle, turned white from the tightening grip. His smirk only widened.

Grabbing the nape of your neck, he made your body arch back as much as it could. You groaned as you felt your cramped back twist painfully. Leaning in, Jaehyun moved over to your ear and grazed the lobe of your ear. Despite your attempt to move away from him, you couldn’t, because of the tight grip on the back of your neck. Something you had enjoyed earlier was now a nightmare that was being carried out by a person you once cherished.

With a low huff, Jaehyun pushed himself into your unwelcoming walls. You groaned into the cloth and squeezed your eyes shut. When he pushed his shaft all the way into your warm cavern, he stayed in for a while, trying to get back the feeling of the familiar walls squeezing around him after quite a time. When he slowly inched himself out of your cunt, you let out the breath you had been holding back, but that was cut short when Jaehyun pushed himself in almost immediately back into your throbbing cunt. You let out a gasp and Jaehyun took that opportunity to remove the piece of cloth and insert his pointer finger into your mouth.

“Dare think of biting me and I’ll stab you” Jaehyun warned.

Right then you felt the tip of a blade pointed at your hip. You shivered at the feeling of the cold steel against your skin. As he pumped his hardened cock in and out of your pussy, his hand did the same actions to your mouth. When your breathing started becoming unstable, Jaehyun knew you were edging closer to your orgasm so he pulled out his shaft.

“You thought I’d let you cum, huh?” he derided you.

You simply nodded your head side to side, in revulsion. Chuckling at your pathetic response, Jaehyun pulled his finger out of your mouth and ran it over your blouse. While he unbuttoned the buttons of your cotton blouse, his other hand snaked under, over to your clit and ghosted over the sensitive bundle of nerves. You squirmed, in an attempt to avoid his fingers from touching your sensitivity. But Jaehyun wasn’t going to let you go that easily. He pushed his finger onto your clit and started rubbing slow circles over it.

You bit into your lip, in order to keep yourself quiet from the harassment he was subjecting you to. As his rubbing turned much harsher, you came closer to your edge. This time he let you have your orgasm. A sigh of relief slipped past your lips as a warm flow of your juices spilled down your thighs. You shamefully lay still, praying that this was the end of his torture.

“I haven’t still got an answer from you, darling,” Jaehyun murmured as he continued rubbing circles on your bundle of nerves.

You stuttered, trying to answer him, “I-I-I said I-I-I don’t k-know.”

A slap to your cunt had you answering him again in desperation for him to stop overstimulating you,

“I really don’t know!”

“I know you’re lying to me,” Jaehyun continued. With each slap, you winced internally and pleaded in your head that Jaehyun would actually realise you were saying the truth.

“Please Jaehyun-”

Before you could finish your sentence, he plunged his dick right back into where it was earlier. You let out a moan at the sudden stretch. He placed a hand on your hip, holding your squirming body in place and the other toying your delicate mounds. Disgusted by his hands that were touching and toying your breasts, you yelled as much as you could.

But Jaehyun kept pumping in and out of you, ignoring your cries. And when he was closer to his high, he pumped into you even faster than before- almost at an animalistic pace and then released a gush of warm white liquid into your womb. As his movements subsided, so did your screams. All you did now was let your sobs echo through the dimly lit, cold room.

Jaehyun stepped away from your body and zipped his pants. Then grabbing your dress pants, he pulled them up and turned you around harshly to button up your blouse. He was aware that you didn’t have much energy to move around, so he untied your hands and watched them fall to your sides as he buckled his belt back into place. The bruises on your wrists were enough proof to show how harsh he had been on you.

“Sweetheart, are you enjoying this, because I still haven’t got an answer from you-”

A loud slap had him shut his grinning mouth.

Before you could hit him again, Jaehyun had your arms locked with one of his. This time he wasn’t playing nice and you knew you had messed up. All the exhaustion and the panic had made you slap him without thinking twice but you knew you’d be in trouble the moment your hand had touched his face.

Your attempt to remove yourself from his grip was futile. Which then led to a scuffle between the two of you. The obviously stronger one between the two of you gaining advantage over the other. With one hard push, Jaehyun had you against the walls.

“Jaehyun-n-n…” you choked, trying to sputter out your words while scraping his tattooed hands, “I can’t-t-t. I can’t. Can’t. B-B-Breath.”

The said man took one look at your pale face and undid his hands from your neck. You fell onto the floor while taking in huge gulps of air.

Jaehyun nonchalantly walked over to the corner of the room and grabbed the long-forgotten gun and loaded the bullets. Then walking over to the desk, he grabbed the knife and slid it into one of the specially made pockets in his pants. It hurt the way he didn’t even look over to you, just to make sure whether you were doing alright.

“You shouldn’t have treated me like that,” you muttered to him.

Jaehyun turned back at your hoarse voice. After all the screaming and the struggling your voice sounded exhausted. He looked at your bruised body and the loose clothes that hung around you. He had taken away every last inch of dignity from you. Did he feel guilty, though?

“My job comes before anything or anyone,” Jaehyun simply replied back.

With that, he turned around ready to leave the room.

“Let me ask you one last question,” you spoke and Jaehyun turned around once again and nodded his head signalling you to ask your question, “Did you really love me when we dated back then?”

Squaring his jaw, Jaehyun gazed at you. A gaze you couldn’t figure out. You watched him, yearning for a reply. A positive one that would put the ache in your heart to rest. Jaehyun opened his mouth to reply or rather state what he wanted you to know,

“If you don’t tell me where the flash drive is by dawn, I’m shooting off all their heads.”

Your heart dropped.

So that’s all your relationship meant to him- a mere mission and a good few fucks.

•••

A/N: this was painful to write. but, since this is my very first jaehyun fic i’m proud of myself. hope you guys were okay with this as well~

[smileysuh]

ValentineJae97 : Jaehyun

🌙 staring. Jaehyun x afab!Reader

🔮 synopsis. Jae makes you regret not coming to see him earlier for your cam show.

cw/ tw. cam sex,dom/jealous/competitive Jaehyun, choking, overstimulation, oral (m/f receiving), face fucking, fingering, biting/marking, petnames, daddy count (2), submissive reader, 'fucked you stupid’, begging/worship kink, etc...

👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 5.2k

🍭 aus. cam girl reader, poly idols, idols sharing a fuck buddy, dirty boy idols, etc...

☀️ mlist + an. camroom directory here - this series is covered in audio by the Kpop Pillow Talk podcast, listen here

“Hey pretty boy.” You smirk when Jaehyun opens the door to the dorms. He looks gorgeous, hair a soft pink color and his eyes dark, as if he’s just woken up. Jaehyun flashes you a smirk, dimples on show, and pulls you inside by your hips, planting his lips on yours immediately.

You kiss him back, enjoying the warmth of his mouth and palms, that sneak under your jacket to touch your bare waist. “You’re cold,” he says against your lips, pulling back and kissing your equally cold nose. He towers over you, helping push your jacket off your shoulders.

“It’s cold outside,” you breathe, eagerly kissing him again, arms wrapping around the back of his neck as Jaehyun’s foot closes the door behind you both.

You don’t mind the mess of your things left on the floor; jacket bag- Jaehyun had sent you a text an hour ago: “dorms empty”

No punctuation. You’d been smitten. And you’d known what it really meant.

You just want to get to Jaehyun’s room, but his broad frame blocks your way. The tall man smirks against your lips. “Eager?”

You bundle your hands in the hem of his sweater, pulling and nodding, lips moving to press kisses to the underside of his jaw. “Yeah.”

“Where’s your camera baby?” 

You pull away from his neck and laugh. “Where’s my camera?” You cock your eyebrow at him.

NCT boys really are something else. Lucas, Hendery, Johnny- all more than willing to film with you. You’re starting to realize that maybe the competition aspect of it makes them perform better, after all, they are all professionals who compete for a living. 

“We can use my phone,” you tell him, happy that it’s in your back pocket and easily accessible. Jaehyun reaches for it but you hold it to your chest, smirking at him. “We don’t have to film, you know?”

Jaehyun laughs, and he truly looks angelic. “I know we don’t have to,” he says, grinning down at you. “You have no idea how fucking hot this is, do you? All of us being able to do this with you?” The gorgeous idol grabs your hips again, pressing his lips to yours. This time he’s the one moving back towards his room, dragging you with him. “Turn your chat room on, then give me the phone,” he commands softly when you get to his door. 

You do as you’re told, watching quietly to see what he’ll do next.

“Go get naked, and then put on one of my shirts,” he instructs.

You follow through with this too, walking past Jaehyun into his room. His eyes, and the camera, follow you. 

He, they, watch you strip slowly. You keep your now bare back to the camera, teasing a little when you bend over to remove your jeans. 

You find a clean shirt folded by the bed and you put it on, smoothing it down so it lands on your mid thigh. Then you wiggle out of your panties.

You turn to face Jaehyun, eyes on him, waiting for further instruction.

“Now get on the bed,” he says, voice lowering. 

You do as you're told, getting into the familiar bed and laying flat, with your legs closed. 

A hand wraps around your ankle, dragging you down the bed. When you look, you see Jaehyun isn’t holding the phone anymore. Both of his hands force your legs open, and he pulls you the final short distance so that you’re situated right where he can reach you.

Your core is exposed now, and his warm breath makes your heart flip in your chest. You grab at the shirt covering your body and lift it higher, wrapping your fists in the fabric while you wait for him to do something.

“Jae-” you whine. 

A moment later you’re rewarded by his lips on your inner thigh. His kisses move towards your center, closer, closer- he changes to your other thigh and you groan in frustration, toes curling as a wave of the expected ghost pleasure runs through you. 

“Jae-” The whimper is drawn out and high pitched, you know he has a thing for this. The cute voice, the whining. 

You’re rewarded when his whole mouth lands on your pussy, tongue diving into you and making a jolt of pleasure run through your entire body. 

“Fuck-” You close your eyes and your back arches, hands moving down to grab at his pretty hair.

You’re once again shocked at all your men pulling out these wonderful tricks for the camera. They’re definitely competing in the best way possible.

Jaehyun’s eaten you out before, but usually on special occasions. Valentine boy is more of a quickie- or in public- rage fuelled kind of guy. This is a new side to him, but you know your mean dom is buried there somewhere.

A moan leaves your lips when a finger slides into your entrance, quickly followed by another. Jaehyun curls them up expertly, finding your gspot. 

“You look so cute in my clothes.” His mouth moves to press a sloppy kiss to the flesh of your inner thigh, and you shiver at the motion as his fingers work you up. “You still have my hoodie, right, Kitten?”

A sigh leaves your lips, followed by a small sound of affirmation. 

Jaehyun has a thing about his clothes and what happens when you wear them. 

You wearing his hoodie gives him a sense of ownership over you, and you’ll play along with it when it’s just the two of you, but one time you’d worn his shirt to hang out with him and Johnny and- well, Jaehyun can be entitled in general, so to have you in his clothes?

He acted as if you were his girlfriend the whole time, and it had been… interesting to say the least. You’re pretty sure he learned from it though, because he hasn’t done it to the same extent again since.

“Does it still smell like me?” The pink haired man prompts from between your legs, teeth grazing your skin.

You moan loudly, unable to truly give him answers because your mind is dizzy with pleasure. You can hear the squelching of your pussy with each thrust of his fingers, and your mind is getting foggier, overcome by the pleasure that Jaehyun always delivers.

“You looked so good in that hoodie every time you would facetime me during tour,” Jaehyun’s voice is smooth, confident, and loud enough for the camera (wherever it is) to pick it up. “Do you remember calling me right before we had to go on stage in LA? You were begging for some attention, just so you could get off on your own fingers, dirty girl.” 

You moan loudly as his digits work you harder, his thumb pressing down against your clit now to send shivers of shock running through every limb. 

“All it took was a little attention, right baby? You’re our little attention whore?” 

“Jae, please let me cum-” is all you can say in return, eyes closed, back arching as you try to hold back the waves of pleasure from crashing into you prematurely. You can’t cum without his permission, Jaehyun’s one of the meanest doms if you do.

“Tell me you’re my attention whore and then you can cum.” 

You bundle your hands up in the shirt, pulling it higher to expose more of your abdomen as words begin to tumblr from your lips, “I’m your little attention whore, I fucking love it when you make me cum, please Jae, please-”

Jaehyun doesn’t even give you a verbal confirmation this time, instead, he brings his mouth back down to your pussy. His lips wrap around your clit and you explode on his fingers, which continue to glide in and out of you, pressing up against your gspot. 

Your legs shake around Jaehyun’s frame, unable to close, and one of his hands comes to grab your waist, keeping you still so he can flick and suck on your clit throughout your entire orgasm. 

You push at his head when he doesn’t let up, but Jaehyun ignores you, forcing your orgasm to be prolonged until your legs are twitching and tears are rolling down your cheeks. He knows you’ll say your safe word if you need to, but until then, he gets to do whatever he wants, and what he wants, is to make you cum harder than anyone else.

Jaehyun listens to your pretty sounds, which become less whimpery as you steady yourself, your grip in his hair going slack. You continue to pull loosely at the pretty pink strands, catching your breath while he moves to kiss at your thighs.

Jaehyun suckles on the sensitive skin of your inner thigh until he’s sure there will be a mark, something to remind you who was here, something to remind the others. 

“Jae-” his name sounds like a prayer leaving your lips, your fingers finding a harder hold in his hair again.

Your hips move forward, and Jaehyun smirks against your thigh, “You want more princess?” he asks.

“Yes Jae.”

Jaehyun hums, breath fanning over your entrance and sending shivers through your body. “You’re not begging yet, baby.” Jaehyun pulls away from you all at once, and you immediately try to fix your error, pleas echoing through the room on ears that aren’t listening.

Jaehyun pulls off his shirt as he stands at the foot of the bed, eyes taking in your body while you admire his own washboard-esque abdomen. 

He licks his lips with appreciation of your form, then turns his back to you, heading over to his desk to grab your phone. Now that you see where it was, you can imagine how good Jaehyun eating you out looked, and your tummy flip flops with delight. 

“Please Jaehyun-” you whine again, on your knees now as you crawl towards him at the foot of the bed. You know what he wants, you always know with Jaehyun. 

His cock is straining deliciously against his sweatpants. You look up at the man who is grinning down at you like the cheshire cat, phone in hand, capturing every moment.

You reach out for his cock, ready to push down his pants, but Jaehyun smacks your hand away. 

“You’re still not begging,” he reminds you, grabbing your jaw roughly, “haven’t I taught you how to behave properly, pretty girl?”

You swallow thickly. 

So this is the angle. He wants you to really play it out for the camera, wants an ego kick. 

You can give it to him.

“Jae, please? You know how much I love sucking your cock,” you pout, tilting your head and making doe eyes. 

Jaehyun’s smirk widens as he looks down at you, eyes scanning the comments in the cam room. He’s always been on the other side of it, it’s odd to be holding the camera, holding the power.

Heychannie: nooooona come down to the 5th floor when ur done :(

KittyTae has donated $100

NiceGuyJohnny has donated $200

yutAH: this is why you didn’t come to ramen with us????

Heychannie: YOU GUYS WENT FOR RAMEN AND DIDN’T INVITE ME?!

yutAH: 10th floors only

Doie has donated $500

Heychannie: who the fuck gave Doyoung the link for the camroom

yutAH: who gave YOU the link? Fucking dreamies-

TeamWang: the girls are FIGHTING

Lucas99: YO JACKSON!

TeamWang: LUCAAAAS

Jaehyun can’t believe they’re bickering like this when he just ate you out and made you cum. 

Is your begging not hot enough to be discussed or envied over? 

Jaehyun feels his skin heat with emotion and his eyes shift back up to you. You’re still pouting up at him, a hand slowly reaching for his cock again. This time he allows you to touch it, and you stoke the outline which strains against his sweatpants. 

You groan. “Jae, please, I want you inside of me.” 

When you look up at him again he notices the tear stains on your cheeks from the orgasm he’s already given you. Then Jaehyun is grabbing your chin roughly again, bringing the camera nice and close to you. His thumb wipes a tear away, with careful attention to make sure the men in the chat see it.

HeyChannie: O.O

Lucas99: He made her CRY

NiceGuyJohnny has donated $20

NiceGuyJohnny: money to buy some fucking tissues Jae you dirty dog

“Aw, did I make you cry earlier, pretty girl?” Jaehyun smirks, moving his thumb to your lips.

You suck him into your mouth immediately, tasting the saltiness of your own tears and nodding solemnly. He lets you suck on his thumb only to pull it away too quick. 

“Your tongue felt so good on me, Jae,” you coo, knowing he wants all the verbal affirmation you can give him. “Please let me make you feel good.”

“Fine.”

HeyChannie: DID HE JUST SAY “FINE”?!??!?!?!?!

yutAH: fuuuuck

KittyTae has donated $100

“But no hands.” Jaehyun’s voice is low now, the warning clear. 

You blink up at him for a moment, realizing what he wants, and you lick your lips. 

“Yes, daddy,” you answer obediently before you move towards his abdomen face first, eager to get your teeth gripped onto his sweatpants so you can drag them down. 

The first thing you do is simply let your breath fan over his lower stomach, and you watch the small tremor that works its way through his body in reaction. 

Jaehyun hisses when your tongue licks a long stripe from his naval down to the waistband of his sweats. You make sure to be careful as you sink your teeth into fabric, letting out a playful growl as you move your head down, pulling his pants with you.

Lucas99: holy FUCK she’s good at that

NiceGuyJohnny has donated $200

HeyChannie: hands are so fun tho :(

NiceGuyJohnny: You just think that because you’ve never had her mouth before. Trust me. It’s enough

Doie: ^^^^^

HeyChannie: ok but seriously wtf, am i the only person on the 5th floor she hasn’t fucked yet-

Jaehyun’s not wearing underwear, so when his sweatpants are down, his cock springs up against his abdomen. 

You lick your lips again, able to feel your mouth watering at the sight of his glorious cock. Like the rest of him, it’s simply beautiful, a word you generally don’t use to describe dicks. 

You start at the base of his cock, licking up to the tip. You consider staying there and swirling your tongue around him, but you decide that if he wants to play by saying you can’t use your hands, you can tease Jae too. 

Your tongue descends down his shaft again, coating it in saliva. “Jae?” you whine, looking up at him and the camera, “Can I suck you off, please?”

He’ll never punish you for asking permission, and this way he can’t try to fight you for teasing him now. You can pretend you’re doing it while you wait for his command, not just for the hell of it. 

You watch Jaehyun’s expression soften, a smile appearing on his lips. “Of course baby girl, show daddy how much you love sucking his cock.”

“Can I touch your thighs now please?” you kitten lick up his shaft. You need to steady yourself against something if you’re going to be blowing him without the help of your hands. 

“Of course, baby.” 

As soon as your hands are placed on the dancer’s strong thighs, you feel more stable. 

You wrap your lips around the head of his cock, taking more of him into your mouth, swirling your tongue around and around.

“Take more,” Jaehyun urges you, hips twitching to force his cock farther into your mouth.

You sink down as much as you can, till the head of his cock bumps into the back of your throat, which swallows around him and makes Jaehyun groan. 

“You’ll let me fuck your face, right, baby?” Jaehyun asks, free hand petting your hair.

You suck on him a moment longer before pulling off of his cock, mouth still connected by a string of saliva. 

When you look up at Jaehyun, he can see a tear just beginning to fall from your left eye, when he’d hit the back of your throat and you’d gagged, it must have triggered your eyes to water too. 

He takes great sadistic pleasure in that singular tear. The way your lips are puffy. The look of complete desperation on your face. “Please fuck my face,” you whimper.

“Dirty girl,” Jaehyun chuckles, plunging his cock back past your lips. His free hand grabs the back of your head, keeping you still as his hips begin to thrust. It takes everything in him to keep the camera steady as he uses you for his own pleasure.

 HeyChannie: she just lets him use her-

NiceGuyJohnny: such a good girl

NiceGuyJohnny has donated $200

HeyChannie has donated $200

Lucas99: fuck i miss her

HeyChannie: HA! Loser!

yutAH: don’t be SOFT

Doie: you still haven't even fucked her Haechan

HeyChannie: Doyoung unlock your door I just want to talk.

Jaehyun’s grip in your hair tightens and pain shoots through your scalp, which you enjoy because it distracts you from Jaehyun repeatedly hitting the back of your throat with his cock. 

“Open your eyes kitten,” Jaehyun growls. “Look up at me.”

You do as you’re told, which is difficult because fuck- you just want to close your eyes and enjoy him using you.

“Bet you just love this,” Jaehyun sneers, “choking on cock.” You groan around him. “Being on your knees.” You can feel wetness pooling between your legs and you dig your nails into Jaehyun’s thighs to remind yourself not to dare touch yourself without permission. “Bet you’re so fucking wet too, just from this.”

He roughly pulls you off of his cock and you’re left sputtering, drool and precum a mess on your mouth, lips and chin, but you don’t care, immediately voicing the words you know he wants to hear; “fuck, Jae, I’m so wet for you, please, I need you so bad, I love your cock, please just fuck me, I need it-”

He shoves you roughly so that you fall back onto the bed, then he adjusts you so he can slide the head of his cock between your wet folds, gathering your slick there and coating himself as the camera takes it all in. 

“You’re so messy,” Jaehyun coos, hips thrusting of their own accord, which only succeeds in making his cock slide up and bump against your clit, sending a shiver through your entire body as you grab the sheets to anchor yourself. 

Lucas99: just fuck her, we’re all at practice-

KittyTae: GO BACK TO PRACTICE

Lucas99: we’re in the bathroom it’s fine

KittyTae: ALL OF YOU????

Jaehyun snickers at the fight going on and you groan, “Please-”

“Be patient.” Jaehyun smacks your inner thigh, right over the mark he’d made earlier. Then he grabs his cock again, continuing to toy your entrance with it. He slips just the head of his dick inside of you and you moan- only for him to pull it out- then do it again.

“Jae!” You’re nearly shaking with need.

“Touch yourself,” Jaehyun instructs.

Your hand finds your clit before his words are even out of his mouth fully, and you rub it vigorously, wetness coating your fingers and making it all too easy. Then your other hand comes down and you grab Jaehyun’s cock, pumping him once before he moves your hand away. “Please-” you whine for the umpteenth time. 

Jaehyun slides his cock into you with a groan. “So fucking tight baby.” Your pussy clenches around him and he chuckles. “Are you close already?”

“Yes.”

“Yes what?”

“Yes, daddy.” 

Your eyes are closed and Jaehyun inspects your face, you’re broken for him and he loves it. He could ask you for anything right now and you’d give it to him. 

Luckily Jaehyun isn’t feeling too sadistic tonight.

He focuses the camera on your entrance, watching with fascination as he disappears into you over and over again. 

His pace is slow, and it leaves you clawing at the bed. 

“Please, go faster-” your motions on your clit haven’t ceased, and Jaehyun realizes if you cum, he may cum too. Your oral skills are just too damn good, and you look so fucking sexy, still in his shirt- but damn, he misses your tits.

Hendery99: fuuuuuuck

Hendery99 has donates $420

NiceGuyJohnny has donated $420

KittyTae: call her kitten again

KittyTae has donated $500

Doie has donated $500

HeyChannie has donated $420

yutAH: choke her when she cums

HeyChannie: ^^^^^^

Doie: ^^^^^^^^^^

“Kitten, take off the shirt.” Jaehyun’s voice is smooth, calm, collected- as if he’s not fucking you to the point that you’re nearly a blubbering needy mess on his bed. 

You do as you’re told, and everyone's eyes stay fixed to your chest as you pull the fabric up and over your head, your breasts spilling out into the open air deliciously.

Jaehyun’s large hand finds your left boob, and he squeezes your flesh. “So pretty,” he tells you, fingers pinching at your nipple, forcing a whimper out of your throat.

“You want to cum, baby girl?” Jaehyun asks.

“Please, Jae-”

The neediest whine he’s ever heard in his life leaves your lips when he pulls his cock out of your entrance. But he quickly replaces it with his fingers, which slam up into your gspot with shocking precision. 

Jaehyun’s always been competitive, and when he’s working to make you cum- well, he goes 100%. 

“If you stop I stop,” Jaehyun says when he sees your motions falter on your own clit, body getting too sensitive as he works you up. 

Although he has the camera down on where his fingers are slamming into you- Jaehyun watches your face. 

He watches the way your eyes clench shut, chest heaving as he forces and orgasm out of you. He sees how desperately you try to keep pressure on your clit, but your legs shudder, trying to close around his hand when he keeps finger fucking you, prolonging everything and making you cry out. 

“Legs open or you dont get my cock,” Jaehyun growls.

He can see the effort you put into forcing your legs open, body shaking from your orgasm. “Jae!” you nearly scream his name when his thumb finds your clit.

He just smirks as he makes you ride it out, and all you can do is make horribly sinful sounds and hold onto the bed sheets like they’re your life line. 

You’re aware of Jaehyun pulling his fingers from you, and you hear him groan and say “you taste so good kitten,” but you’re too exhausted to care. 

“Still want my cock?” His hard member slides against your entrance and your whole body jolts, eyes snapping open. You swallow thickly and nod.

The camera’s not in his hands anymore, no, you see it behind him, back on the desk near the foot of the bed. 

“On your knees facing the camera baby,” Jaehyun instructs. But he doesn't even give you a chance to move yourself, instead he pulls you up himself, situating you exactly where he wants you while he sets up behind you.

You arch your back and push your bum out for him, moaning and shuddering when he breathes against your neck, hands smoothing down your shoulders to your hands. 

Lips kiss your neck, and then one of his arms snakes across your abdomen and ribs, which secures you to his chest. You feel his cock at your entrance once more and you sink down on him.

You both moan and Jaehyun buries his face in your neck, speckling your skin in kisses and little love bites that send shivers of delight through your body. 

One of his hands finds your hip, and the other stays anchoring you, moving up to your breast to pinch at your nipple, then his fingers wrap securely around your throat. 

“Look at the camera, princess,” Jaehyun tells you, his hips moving slowly at first, as he had when he had you on your back. 

“Jae-” You want to beg him for more, but his hand restricts your throat further, and your words are choked back. 

The time for talking is over.

His hips move quickly, and small sounds of pleasure leave your lips, pitch getting higher as Jaehyun goes faster. 

You grab at his forearm, which is warm and steady, and your tight grip prompts him to choke you more. 

You can feel the effect of his grip when your breathing is cut off, and when this happens, it starts to feel like your whole body is alit with pleasure. 

Your senses are heightened as Jaehyun pounds into you, fingers digging into your hip so hard you wonder if it will bruise. Jae’s always the one who leaves you with the most unintentional bruises, he never means to- he just gets so wrapped up in you. And who can blame him?

Your pussy clamps down on Jaehyun, so sensitive from two orgasms which Jaehyun mercilessly forced out of you. 

Jaehyun lets up on your throat and your body sucks in air.

“Please cum for me Jae, please!” you beg him, so close to the edge yourself- you don’t think you’ll be able to handle it if he doesn’t cum with you. You can’t handle more orgasms, not when they’re like this, not when they’re from Jae-

Jaehyun growls behind you, sinking his teeth into your shoulder. He doesn’t say anything, but you know he’ll cum too, and all you can do is hold on until he does. 

The pleasure between your legs is building and building and building, your tummy almost hurting as your muscles try to hold off your orgasm, which only makes you squeeze his cock tighter.

“Fuck,” Jaehyun growls, and the word throws you over the edge. 

You can barely think coherent thoughts as Jaehyun’s hips diligently work you both through your powerful orgasms, moans filling the room to cover the sound of skin on skin. 

His hand on your throat makes it all the more pleasurable, a firm grip making breathing just difficult enough to send jolts of electricity sparkling over your skin. 

When his hips finally slow, Jaehyun just holds you for a moment. You can feel the rapid beat of his heart behind you, and his grip on you is tight. 

He doesn’t want to let go of you. Not now. Not ever.

But soon, you struggle in his grasp, and Jaehyun is brought back down to earth from the heavenly orgasm cloud he’d been floating on while having you a prisoner in his arms. 

He lets you go and you collapse down onto the bed, eyes closed.

Jaehyun gets up quickly, not interested in the camera getting too good of a look at his cock- he supposes Jinyoung from Got7 had the right idea on that account. 

Once the camera is in his hands and his sweatpants are on, Jaehyun comes to the bed. He allows your phone to see all the marks blooming on your skin, reminders that he was there, and finally he reaches your face. 

“How are you feeling, pretty girl?” he asks, thumb reaching out to brush away a tear that’s rolled down your cheek again.

Jaehyun gives your orgasms that are so powerful sometimes that your body doesn’t even know how to handle them, and this usually leads to tears. You feel your skin heat in embarrassment and you sniffle, rubbing your eyes and hiding your face in the blankets. “Good,” you mumble.

Jaehyun laughs. “Fucked you stupid, didn’t I, baby girl?” 

His hand smooths down your exposed thigh and then he lightly smacks your ass, watching the jiggle with fascination, and enjoying the squeak that leaves your lips, still audible despite your face being now hidden. 

He watches the chat, which is exploding with comments and donations, and Jaehyun turns the cam off, setting your phone down. Then he lays down behind you, curling up so his warmth can spread through you. His lips press kisses to your shoulders, taking care to avoid the small bite mark he’d ‘accidentally’ left. He knows you don't mind the marks.

“You okay?” he asks, voice soft, and you know he’s put the camera away. 

You turn around in his arms to face him, not saying anything, instead you just rest against his chest, listening to his heart.

“Johnny says they have dinner down on the 5th floor if you want some,” Jaehyun tells you after a moment. “Are you hungry?”

You nod against his chest. 

“Do you want to go down, or would you like me to go get food for you and bring it back up here?” His fingers stroke your hair.

“Who’s down there right now?” you ask breathing in his pretty smell. ‘How does he never smell bad after sex?’ you wonder.

“I think everyone’s home on the fifth floor,” Jaehyun answers. “Johnny, Doyoung, Taeyong and Haechan were all watching.”

Your pussy flutters at the idea. You’d just recently given Doyoung the link to get into the room. You’re not sure why you hadn’t thought he’d like the idea of the cam room when you made it. 

You know Doyoung can be pretty… intense, but he’d messaged you last week to inquire on everything, and how could you resist the beautiful man.

“I think I'm good to go down to the 5th floor for food,” you sigh.

Jaehyun hadn’t realized there was a right and a wrong answer until you speak. 

Wrong answer. In his eyes, anyways. He wants you all to himself.

But you made your choice.

He can’t fault you for that.

Jaehyun pulls away from you, instead of giving you your own clothes, he grabs you his shirt and a pair of sweats. Your jeans wouldn’t have been comfortable. 

You can go down to eat with the others, but he’ll be damned if you’re not wearing his shirt.

Jaehyun helps you to your feet and dresses you, pressing many soft kisses against your skin. He makes you giggle when he pays close attention to your face, peppering it with his love-

Jaehyun holds your hand as you exit the dorms and take the elevator down 5 floors. You’re a little wobbly on your legs and it feels nice to have your secure protector next to you. 

Haechan opens the door for you at the 5th floor dorm, and engulfs you in a hug, only to pull away and crinkle his nose. “You smell like Jaehyun.”

“No shit,” Jaehyun says as he moves past the younger man, heading to the kitchen where Johnny is cooking. 

Taeyong and Doyoung have wine out, and both of them have the shame to look away from Jaehyun when he enters. They just watched him fuck the shit out of you after all-

Haechan and Johnny? They act as if this is the most normal thing in the world, Johnny pulling you to his side so you can taste his cooking. Johnny makes you open your mouth so he can spoon feed you, making an ‘ah’ sound that has Jaehyun’s skin heating with jealousy.

He has to remind himself, you’re not his. 

And, from the way you look up at Johnny with stars in your eyes, he realizes you may never be.

Interact with those who’ve cum before

› [nct] NiceGuyJohnny - online

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› [wayv]  Lucas99 & Hendery99 - online

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› [bts] TaeTae - online

› [nct] ValentineJae97 - now in server

› [nct] HeyChannie - online

› [multi] TheJinyoung & NiceGuyJohnny - online

› [nct] Private Room - online

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© smileysuh — all rights reserved. reposting/modifying of any fic, reaction, or piece of original writing posted on this blog is not allowed. Translations not allowed.

[scarletwinterxx]

The Break-Up Playlist - Jaehyun AU

Hi! this one is def one of the longest stories I've written (apart from series) I'm trying out a different style this time. I hope you like it!🤍 pls do note that all characters mentioned in this story are fictional.

Enjoy!

For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2020 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

Track One: Take a shot, take a chance, take my hand, boy

You've heard that name before, through whispers, gossips, murmurs of people around you whenever he enters the rooms.

Jung Jaehyun, he said that was his name is.

His name suites his appearance. He looked like a Jaehyun, whatever that meant in your mind. You also noticed the cute dimple on his cheeks, definitely the most prominent feature on his handsome face.

"It would be nice to know your name too" he tells you, the cheeky smile still on his lips as he waits for you to say your name. Not noticing you were too busy looking at him to reply back.

"Y/N, Y/L/N Y/N"

"Can I get you a drink, Y/N?"

There must be something about him, you were yet to find out what it was, but Jaehyun easily pulled a yes from you. The night is still pretty young and you did come to this party to mingle and have some fun. Jaehyun seems like good company, so you said yes.

You can already feel a number of eyes on you as Jaehyun guides you through the crowd. One hand resting on your back so as not to loose you as he navigates the two of you to the kitchen were the drinks are. Now you understand why his name was a constant mention on conversations, Jaehyun is the main character around here. He definitely looks the part but doesn't exude that cocky-full of himself-sits high and mighty-type of vibe. He's easy to carry a conversation with, a bit of a dork and definitely a gentleman.

As the hands on the clock turns, the distance between the two of you become less and less. Laughing at each other's lame jokes because you've had one two many drinks and everything seems funnier after midnight.

"Tell me, Jaehyun. Why did you talk to me?" you ask, genuinely curious why he approached you tonight. It's not the first time you attended the same party, but never once did he try talk to you.

"Because I wanted to get to know you better" you snickered at his answer, "I've heard that somewhere before and it never ends well"

"Something tells me you've seen too many movies or you've only ever met assholes"

"And you're not?"

He smiles at your question, never once have he been asked that question straight to his face. It's either the alcohol talking or it's really you.

"I don't think you'll believe me even if I tell you no, so what do you say I take you out on a proper date and prove myself worthy of your time"

How did you go from looking at him from across the room to him asking you out on a date, you're not so sure yourself. Again, you find yourself considering saying yes to him.

"Don't think too much about it, if it doesn't work out then we can be friends. I really like talking to you, Y/N"

"Me too"

"Is that a yes?" you took one last swig of the drink you're holding before looking back at him, not so discreetly looking at his lips first

"Do I have spell it out or" you joked, the boy opposite you sending a smirk your way.

"A date then"

Track Two: good god how you kiss me

Three dates.

Three dates with Jaehyun, each and every single time he outdoes himself. You didn't expect just how much of a hopeless romantic he was, but after your first date you realized this boy was a sucker for all things cute and romantic.

He was living up to his valentine boy nickname.

The first date, he took you out for dinner. A must he says, crucial stage. He says it's important to know your date on the first night out so that way you'll both know if you're compatible with each other

"Did you do some kind of research on first dates or you've been on your fair share of this?" you ask as the two of you wait for your food to be served.

You've heard enough stories about Jaehyun. He doesn't sleep around or is a fuckboy of any sort. But you did hear he's quite a flirty guy, seen out on casual dates every now and then.

"No, I just made it up. I'd ask you out to the movies but not on the first date, we'll never get the chance to talk"

"So a dinner date is the best option?"

"It's nice to have a romantic dinner with a beautiful lady atleast once in my life, right?"

You shook your head at his statement, "And how many time have you said that?"

"Once. To be honest, it sounded better in my head" you just laugh at his answer, he was a flirt that much you can tell. He is good company, he didn't rush into things. Letting it flow naturally.

Jaehyun knows you've heard stories about him, that was one of the first things you've asked about him the night you met. You're very straight forward and he appreciates you for that. Instead of assuming and believing stories told by other people, you asked him if there were any truth to the tales being told about him. He gladly answered all your questions, hoping you won't think about running for the hills.

You didn't.

The night went better than you thought, much like the first conversation you had with him at the party this one was just as fun. There's not a dull second with this guy, you learned.

On the second date, he took you out bowling. Your favorite sport and the only one you can do decently.

"I'm so going to beat you" you taunt him, making the boy smirk at you.

Jaehyun is a competitive guy, passionate when it comes to doing things. He isn't a man who half-ass anything. If he wants to succeed at something you best believe he'll work hard for it.

"Let's bet on it" he tells you, picking the perfect ball for tonight's game.

"Okay, what does the winner get?"

"If I win, go on a third date with me" he says, looking over at you with a serious face.

He didn't have to wager that, even if he loses tonight you're sure you'd agree to go on another date with him. You liked hanging out with Jaehyun. You like Jaehyun but it felt too soon to say that.

"That's it?" he nods

"What about you, what do you want if you win?" he asks in return, a smirk forming on his lips as he watches you think about what you wanted as your prize.

"Winner can ask for anything?"

"Anything, baby. Name it, it's yours"

You smirk at his words, picking up the ball you chose earlier. "I get to pick where we go on our third date" letting go of the ball, hitting all the pins on the end of the lane.

First strike.

Not the answer Jaehyun expected, but who was he to say no when you're smiling at him like that. You could've asked for the moon and he would look for a way to give it to you. He's not sure if it's too soon to say he likes you, but he does.

He really really likes you.

He can't stop thinking about you, when you're not around he can't wait until the next time he gets to see you again. When you each other at campus and you send a smile at him from across the room, he can't help but feel like his day just got ten times better. He finds himself smiling at his phone whenever your name flashes on the screen. His mind is consumed by you, just you.

Jaehyun is a competitive guy, but for you he's willing to lose every game.

After the game and a quick dinner out, Jaehyun drove you back to your apartment. He always insists on walking you to the front door, making sure you make it safely inside before he walks back to his car.

"I had fun tonight" you tell him, smiling at the boy you're pretty sure you like.

"Me too" Jaehyun was standing a step below you, thus your eyes were almost level with his. He was still taller than you, a little thing you found so endearing about him.

"Even though you lost?" teasing him a bit, knowing about his competitive side. He just shook his head, smiling back at you.

For a while neither of you said anything, just smiling at each other. If anyone was to walk by, they'd probably think you two looked stupid, smiling dorkly at each other like this.

You don't miss the way his eyes flicker to your lips, making you bite your lower lip out of consciousness.

Jaehyun knew he had to kiss you, it might kill him if he doesn't.

If you let him, he'd love to taste your lips against his. He'd have the sweetest dreams about you, only to wake up wanting you even more. And now you're standing in front of him looking the way you do. It's taking every bit of his self-control to not push you against a wall and kiss you senseless.

Without his gaze leaving your lips he speaks again, "About that third date, where do you want to go?"

"Uh I really want to go the aquarium, I know it sounds a bit childish but I've never been so" you smile shyly at him.

God you were so adorable, it took every strength in his will not to kiss you right then and there.

"Jae?"

"Mhm?"

"Are you okay? why are your ears red?" you ask, noticing he seemed a bit distracted and his ears turned red when you asked him.

This seemed to shake him out of his trance, looking down at his shoes. You chuckle at how cute he looked, placing your hands on his ears. They felt warm against your cold hands.

"I know, my hands are always cold like this" you say when he looks at you, noticing that the distance between your faces were much less than before. Once again biting on your lower lip out of nervousness.

You feel his hands on your waist, gently holding you in place

"If you're going to kiss me, just do it" you giggle at his reaction, he definitely didn't expect you to call him out like that. Looking straight into his eyes as if daring him to make the next move.

Finally he did. And boy was he right, he probably would've regret it if he didn't. Your lips tasted so sweet against his. Peach lip balm, the one you always wears he could tell.

Your hands are now behind his neck, his arms around your waist. Getting lost in each other lips. He could do this all night, if you let him. Jaehyun swear he has never tasted something sweeter than this.

Feeling him smile against your lips, he gives you one last peck before breaking away. Smiling at him too, feeling your cheeks redden as he pepper kisses across your face this time.

"Go, I might just keep you here all night if we don't stop now"

You blush at his words, kissing him one more time before stepping back from his embrace. You mutter a goodbye before walking inside, smiling to yourself cause you can still his lips on yours.

Track Three: no one warned me about you

Kissing Jaehyun has always made you feel like your head is spinning, like the hands on the clock stops ticking, like it's just you and him.

Feeling his kisses across your skin, from your lips to your nose to your cheek, jaw until he found his target spot. He loved kissing your neck, you learned.

"I swear if you leave a hickey there again, I will not let you kiss me for a week" you feel him smile against your skin, feeling one last peck before he looked up to meet your eyes

"But you love it" smiling cheekily at you, kissing you again on the lips

"I have this interview for my internship tomorrow, Jae. After that, maybe"

"Only because you asked nicely"

Even though the two of you have been dating for a year, he still makes you feel like he's courting you. The way his smile makes your heart skip a beat, how your cheeks flush red when he kisses you suddenly or the way you practically melt into him when he whispers I love you to you.

The big three words.

You've heard your friends talk about how their boyfriends take such a long time to say it, you understand though that it takes a long time and a lot of courage to say it. But Jaehyun is different, he's not like every guy that came before.

He was the first one to utter those words out loud. The two of you were laying on his bed, just talking about the most random things like you always do. Giggling like little kids over your silly random stories.

You were showing him a picture of the cute puppy you met at the pet cafe you went on your last date, cooing at how cute it looked when suddenly he whispered beside you,

"I love you"

Your fingers froze, this made Jaehyun's alarms go off. Maybe he shouldn't have said it yet, now he ruined everything. You're going to get up and leave and ask him to never meet you ever again.

Then you looked over at him with those eyes he has fallen deeply in love with.

"You know you said that out loud right?"

"Mhm"

"You're not sleep talking right now, right?" you asked again, your phone long forgotten. Now you're fully facing him, seeing his eyes wide open assuring you he wasn't mumbling in his sleep again.

"No, why?"

"Just cause" Jaehyun could tell there was something you're not telling him. You were avoiding his eyes, looking everywhere in his room but him.

"Wait, why'd you ask that?" "Mhm? Ask what?"

"Ask me if I'm sleep talking?" he didn't actually say it in his sleep, did he?

Now you're blushing, biting back your lower lip as you contemplate whether you should tell him your little secret.

"You maybe kind of said it in your sleep" you mumbled, hoping he don't hear you

"Huh? I can't understand you, love"

"You kind of said it before while you were sleeping" Jaehyun still couldn't hear your words and you were still avoiding his gaze, "Can you just look at me and tell me?"

"You said it before, while you were asleep. I thought you were talking to me, then when I looked over you were dead asleep and I didn't want to assume you were saying it to me so I didn't say anything. There, now you know" you said all in one breath, before you weren't sure if he was saying I love you to you. But now he admitted it to you out loud, it's like a weight lifted off of your shoulders.

"You thought I was saying I love you to someone else in my dreams?"

"That's all you heard?" you asked back, the two of you waiting for an answer. Then he took your face between his hands,

"You know who I was dreaming about? You, baby. Always you. Sometimes I meet you in my dreams, I wish I could just stay there but then I wake up and see you there next to me and it just gets better. You are better than any dream. It sucks that I said it in my sleep the first time, but in my defense I was saying it to you" you chuckle at his explanation, leaning closer towards him until you were in his embrace. Burying your head on the crook of his neck.

"I love you" he says again, "I love you so much, more than I did in my dreams"

You break away from his embrace, looking him in the eyes before saying your next words.

"I don't know if saying I love you is enough to justify what I feel for you, but for now it'll do. I love you, too"

Nobody warned you about the happiness you just felt as you hear him say he loves you and only you. Nobody warned you just how easy it was to surrender you heart in his hands right in that moment.

Nobody warned you about him.

They say it gets better before it gets worse.

The two of you were okay, you had a routine of going to each other's place depending on whose schedule is less hectic. You've managed to make it work for a long time but it's been a couple of days since you last saw each other. Jaehyun calls at night before going to sleep or send texts throughout the day when he can.

A week has passed before you meet each other again, but even then you felt like he was distant. Physically he was there but his mind was somewhere else. You decide to sweep it under the rug, he was here and that's what matters.

What matters was he's still here, with you. Apologizing for not making enough time for you, you kiss his worries away. He kisses you back, making you feel just how much he misses you too. Your bodies melting against the sheets, muttering words of I love you's and each others name 'til dawn.

Then it was back to not meeting him for a long time, but worse this time since finals were around the corner. Both of you were very busy, you still made effort to text him or call when you can but you rarely get a call back. When you do get a text, it's always a few words. You didn't ask more, you didn't want to come off as the clingy needy girlfriend.

Three weeks pass by again, it's been three weeks since you last talked to him. Finals were over so you have some free time on your hands, you also heard there was a party at the frat you knew Jaehyun was a part of. It was silly that you were going to a party in hopes of finding your boyfriend there. But you missed him terribly, you'd take any chance you can at this point.

When you got to the frat house, it was already packed. Looked like everyone is out and about ready to celebrate the end of the semester.

Atleast some people are having fun, you thought.

You made your way through the crowd, seeing a few familiar faces but not the one you're hoping to see and came here for.

"Y/N, hey are you looking for Jaehyun hyung?" Jaemin greeted you, "Yes, actually. Have you seen him?"

"I think I just saw him out by the beer pong table" you said a quick thanks before making your way out. When you got there, you kind of wished you didn't come out tonight.

Jaehyun didn't look too busy, his hands didn't look full either that he couldn't atleast send a text back. He was laughing loudly as he played beer pong with his friends, one arm around a girl you've never seen before.

That should be you, you thought.

But you made no effort making your self seen. Instead you walk back to the house, hurrying to get out of there. You didn't want to make assumptions about Jaehyun and what he's doing tonight but you also didn't want to stick around to find out.

"You're going already?" someone asked when you got to the porch infront of the house. Turning to see Jaemin seating there by himself,

"I shouldn't have come here" you mumbled, "So she's still there, I take it" he says, looking back out on the streets. So he knew who Jaehyun was with when you asked, "Yea" you mumble

You wanted to be mad, but Jaemin didn't deserve it. It wasn't his fault. You were feeling frustrated at yourself, at Jaehyun.

"I thought about just lying to you and say I didn't see him, but that would be unfair to you"

His words hit you like bricks, your assumptions slowly turning into facts. So something really was going on between Jaehyun and the other girl.

"Does she come around often?" you ask, afraid of the answer you were about to hear

"She's usually around during parties, or during get together's with the houses"

"Are her and Jaehyun?" you drift the last part of your question, knees feeling weak just at the thought of Jaehyun possibly cheating on you

"I'm sorry" Jaemin tells you, "Why are you saying sorry? You didn't do anything wrong"

"Yea but I didn't do the right thing" he mumbles, this time avoiding your eyes

"What do you mean?"

"I'll tell Jaehyun hyung you stopped by or should I not?" he asks, "I'll call him tomorrow, Thanks Jaemin"

Then came the next day, you didn't expect Jaehyun to reply to your text that quick. Agreeing to meet you in your apartment.

You make yourself a cup of coffee while you wait for him, then after a while you hear someone punch the code. Jaehyun lets himself in, eyes darting around the room to find you.

There you were, sitting but the kitchen island with a cup of coffee in hand.

"Do you want some coffee?" you ask while Jaehyun stands by the hallway, "Sure" he answers as he walks forward.

"You don't look like you have a hangover" you told him as you pass the mug over to him, "I didn't drink that much, where you at the party last night?"

"Yes, I figured if you can't come and see me then I'll just go to you"

Jaehyun looks to the side, thinking of what to say next. He's not exactly sure what to tell you, the tension in the room rising by the second. It's been weeks since he last saw you, last talked to you in person and still he doesn't know what to say.

"So you were with Jaemin last night?" that came out harsher than he intended but he did hear a few people from the party say they saw you with Jaemin late last night. If he didn't listen to those whispers then he would've never known you even went to the party.

"What are you trying to say, Jae?"

"Just asking"

You scoffed under your breath, setting your own mug down before turning to face him. "I asked him if he knew where you were, then I bumped into him as I was leaving. That was it"

"Then why didn't you come see me last night?"

"It looked like your hands were full" you replied, not even thinking of holding back. You wanted to ask but the answer scared you. Debating whether it was better to just not know and forget about it.

"Just say it" he tells you

"Are we okay, Jaehyun? Is there anything you want to tell me? We haven't seen each other for weeks, we don't even talk that much anymore. I know we've both been busy, but I feel like you're distant from me. Even now that we're in the same room I feel like you're not really here"

"I'm just tired from exams, and last night the guys suddenly threw a party so I didn't get to call you"

Jaehyun was stalling, he knew that. You knew that. There were so many words he wanted to say but he couldn't. He wasn't sure what he feels, but he also knows he can't lose you yet.

Was he being unfair? yes.

Maybe he's just confused. These past few weeks, he took his time sorting his feelings and his thoughts out. Then he met this other girl who made him forget about all his worries. It was stupid, he felt like a total asshole. That's why he's been avoiding you.

Last night, it felt nice to be just go out and have some fun.

"That's it? Three weeks, Jae. I haven't seen you in three weeks and that's all you can say"

"What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know, I don't know okay. You're saying things but you're not actually saying anything. You're here but your mind is somewhere else, I don't... I don't want our first meeting in weeks to turn into an argument. Maybe we should just talk when our heads are both clear" you hated the words that just came out of your mouth but you also don't want to talk to him.

You don't want to end up saying things you'll later regret.

With no further words, Jaehyun quietly exits the room. He didn't even say goodbye.

One day turned into three days. Days turned into weeks. Then a month.

The whole time you were on vacation you didn't talk to your boyfriend. At this point you're not even sure if he's still your boyfriend.

You hated how he made you feel, you hated the fact that you let it get this bad. You hated the fact that even when he makes you feel so mad you still miss him.

And you hated the fact that you didn't care if he felt the same way or not.

When university began again, you knew he was back on campus and so did he but neither of you made an effort to contact the other one. When you finally saw him again, you felt your walls break.

He still looked like the guy you fell in love with, but he wasn't that anymore.

As your eyes met, you can tell they didn't hold the same love they had. They say the opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference.

You felt like you were looking at a stranger.

Track Four: why don't you let me down, I'll let you do it again

Any day now the two of you have to make the first move and address the elephant in the room. You didn't want to be the first one to say it because in your heart you were still hoping you could fix this, you're still trying to figure out exactly what went wrong with the two of you but Jaehyun looked like he was already three steps ahead of you.

He looked fine, he looked okay.

You felt like shit.

How did we get here? you wanted to ask.

Were the last few goodnights he said to you were goodbye's in disguise?

When he finally reached out to you, asking you to meet him for a talk you already knew. It didn't mean it hurt any less though.

Jaehyun was already at the cafe when you arrived, he was looking out the window so he didn't notice you entering the store.

"Hey" you say, finally catching his attention. He looked up and smile at you, but it didn't quite reach his eyes like it used to whenever he looked at you.

"Hi"

You took the seat across from him, for a while neither of you said anything. You had this grand speech planned out but now that he's actually here, it feels like all the words are jumbled in your head.

"I'm sorry" he spoke, breaking the awkward silence between the two of you

"I wish I didn't have to hear that from you, I wanted to ask where we went wrong or if we could save us. But it looks like there's no going back to that" you say, fighting back the tears. For now atleast, you'll save the waterworks for later.

"You're a great girl, you really are. And I'm sorry for being an asshole to you, you didn't deserve it"

You didn't want to hear his apologies, it feels like you're drowning like you can't quite make out what he was saying.

The worst part was it didn't matter if he's making you feel like shit, you still wanted him anyways.

"Just say it, Jaehyun."

"Y/N" even the way he says your name hurts, it used to be your favorite sound but now it feels like a knife being stabbed right through you.

"No, really. I need to hear it from you, maybe then I'll like you a little less" you smile sadly at him, Jaehyun wished he didn't have to.

He didn't want to hurt you, but he couldn't stay with you either. It was unfair to the both of you if he kept this going. He'll just keep on hurting you, and you'll just resent him more for it.

But you didn't look like you hated him, he hated it.

Instead you looked like you still hold the same love you've always had for him, even with the pain in your eyes he could still see the hope that this could still work out.

"We should break up"

That was the last shot. The last blow. There goes your heart breaking into thousand metaphorical pieces.

"I'm sorry" Jaehyun says, watching you carefully. He wanted to reach out and comfort you but he lost that privilege. He don't get to be the one to make better anymore.

"I'm not going to lie, this sucks. I'm not going to pretend like I'm okay when I'm not, but can I ask for one last thing?"

"Anything"

"Don't ask me if I'm doing okay, don't reach out to me for a while. Just... can we just keep this distance. I don't think I'll ever walk away if we don't" you say, a few tears escaping while you hastily brush them away

"Okay"

Looking back to that, to everything you had with him, it's hard to see just where did it all went wrong. But as time pass, people change. There's no guarantee that the hearts stays the same. There was a point in time when you were the world to him and him to you.

You could've reached out to him, worked it out together. But instead you kept your distance, letting him drift further and further away from you. You were both at fault for this demise and yet you can't put the blame on him.

For now you let your self feel the pain.

Maybe one day, you'll be able to look at him and smile.

Maybe one day when you see him again you won't have to ask yourself a thousand questions why he didn't love you enough to stay.

Maybe one day when you meet again, you'll have another chance.

Maybe, maybe not.

[fluffyjaes]

look at my likes for some jaehyun fics recommendations !! ♡

[at-jaehyuns-mercy]

Fanfic smut material🤰🏻

[memoriesofkpop]

The Little Things About You

Jaehyun (NCT) x female reader

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 393

    The soft piercing sound of the white porcelain cup carefully decorated with beautiful hand painted flowers meeting the hard wooden table echoed throughout the silent room. She brings her other hand to the cup as well, fingers gently tracing the design as the cup rests on the surface. His hand sat on the table as his fingers drummed against a cup of his own. He glanced up at her, not knowing what to say-- or to even speak at all. Her eyes were locked onto the fragile item in her hands, glistening.

    The hair that usually gently framed her face was now tucked behind her ear. It had only been now that he noticed these small changes. Why hadn’t he noticed before? Were her eyes always this sad? Was her frame always this small? ….Was she always this unhappy?

    With a clear of her throat, he snapped out of his thoughts.

    “I...I understand,” he said, finally speaking up.

    “Then...I guess this is it…” she replied, her voice softer than he was ever used to. He watched as she grabbed her small bag and stand up from her seat. Automatically, he stood up as well. His body had been used to leaving as a pair. He awkwardly stood there as she gathered her things from the table that stood between them, knowing it would be even more awkward if he sat back down only to stand back up. She took a few steps towards the door behind him. Her perfume that trailed behind her as she passed him reminded him of home. Has she always smelled this nice? 

    Now with her hand on the door, she paused and looked at the man she used to call hers. With eyes brimming with tears, she let out a small breath. “Goodbye, Jaehyun.”

    He offered a small nod and a slight bow in reply, with his right hand moving up but not quite reaching the height of his shoulders, knowing better than to trust his own voice. Was she always this sweet? This nice? This beautiful?

As the door swung closed behind her, he let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. “Goodbye…”

And just like that, he had watched the love of his life walk right out. 

It was now that he noticed all the little things about her-- but now was too late.

Masterlist

A/N: contain errors. It’s 3:30 am 

Trying out these shorter pieces (: 

[jaehyunvideos]

oh he knows he is hot

[gingrrfrog]

HAPPY FALL YALL

[ephemeralbvtch]

HOSTAGE Coming soon...

[gingrrfrog]

Shortly after their wedding, Jaehyun had to come to the idea that he was to become a father before he could ever learn to become a good man. With doubts clouding his mind and fear ever present, all he could think about every night was her.

jaehyun x jihyun (oc) -- wc: 8.4k

warnings: angst?

February 12th

Six Years Ago

“Jeong Jaehyun, come to bed,” Jihyun’s stern voice came from the walkie-talkie next to him. He smiled and took it in his hands.

“Give me ten minutes, baby.”

“Ten minutes or I’ll roll to you. I’m starting the timer.”

He snorted and went back to his work, his chin supported by the palm of his hand. A business proposal was due the first week of May, sometime near Jihyun’s due date. He made sure everything went according to plan knowing that he would be occupied for the entire month of April to make sure Jihyun was comfortable and ready to give birth.

Sometime last week, however, the couple rushed to the hospital due to bleeding and painful cramps in her waist. The panic led to tests, and the tests found that Jihyun’s placenta covered at least a fourth of her cervix, blocking the entrance completely. To prevent it from moving any further or risking detachment, she was put on bedrest until the end of her term.

Luckily, there hadn’t been any bleeding since then, but Jihyun was bored out of her mind, only being allowed to move around the span of their room and their bathroom. No work, no strenuous exercise, and absolutely no sex. Jaehyun hadn’t minded, but Jihyun nearly tore out her hair—how else was she going to cure her libido?

“The timer ended,” Jihyun said over radio. “I’m giving you ten seconds before I take a snow sled down there.”

Jaehyun rolled his eyes, “I’m coming.”

Before leaving his office, he grabbed his laptop from his bag and dragged himself up the stairs where he found Jihyun sitting in an armchair in the corner of the room, her feet propped up on the ottoman with sliced mango in her hand, chewing rather obnoxiously.

“Can we trade spots?” He asked, laughing at Jihyun’s narrowed eyes. “What?”

“This is my pregnant chair. You can sit on the bed or on the floor.”

“It didn’t hurt to ask,” he mumbled, more to himself than to her. He sat on the bed anyway and opened his computer up, waiting for the archaic device to boot up before logging in. He had more than enough money to buy another but shuffling everything into a new computer would be more hassle than none and continued to use the computer until its end.

“When I said come to bed, I meant so we could go to sleep,” Jihyun pouted, slipping inside their bed. “Not for you to bring your work upstairs.”

“What’s the point of you making me sit on the bed if you were going to get into bed anyway?” He ignored her.

Jihyun whined and deepened her pout, turning so that her back faced him and the comforter was pulled over her chin. “Fine, ignore me.”

Before he placed his laptop on the nightstand, he smiled, his hand finding hers under the sheets, “I can’t go to bed, I’m not tired. If you want to sleep, that’s fine, I’ll stay here with you while you sleep.”

Jihyun peeked behind her, “I want to cuddle.”

“We can do that too.” He added, kissing her forehead.

He laid there silently and ran his fingers through her hair while she took steady breaths. Jihyun’s breathing always varied on her dreams. Usually, her breathing would be small breaths and occasional sighs while she slept, but he knew once she hiccuped that she wasn’t asleep and it wasn’t until he felt her wet eyelashes on his arm that he knew.

“What’s wrong?”

Jihyun shook her head and pressed her face into his chest. Jaehyun patted her head.

“I’m just a little sad,” she sniffed, wiping her eyes quickly. “I don’t really know why, but I want to cry right now.”

“It’s alright to cry, baby. You can cry, Jihyun.”

“I think I’m tired,” she laughed, using his shirt to wipe her tears, “It’s been a long week and I’m glad it’s over. Now all I have to do is live the same week, over and over again, until May.”

“Which is…fine,” Jihyun croaked and cried in his chest again, her hands clasped and grabbing handfuls of his shirt. “I-it’s okay, I’m just crying to—”

Jihyun choked out another sob and wrapped her arms around his waist. Jaehyun frowned and held her close, rubbing his hand in between her shoulder blades and listened to her weep until her loud sobs were reduced to small sniffles and shaky breathing. Once relieved, he pulled away to hold her face in his hands, using his thumbs to wipe tears away from the dark circles under her eyes, kissing her nose.

“I’m sorry it’s hard,” Jaehyun said softly. “I’m so sorry.”

It was an unbearable load to carry, he imagined. They haven’t been married for yet a year and Jaehyun was beginning to think the whirlwind of their life impacted Jihyun not only mentally, but physically. Of course he loved her, of course he adored her, but marriage was difficult in the sense that he now had to find time to pay attention to his wife on top of his business that threatened to crumble at any second.

On top of work, and on top of marriage, a new life had been thrown at them before they were even sure they wanted to be parents and Jaehyun would never, ever force Jihyun to do something she didn’t want to do. So, he accepted this rapid new stage of his life and accepted the terms that he was to become a father before he could ever learn to be a good husband.

What if he turned out to be his father? What if the baby didn’t like him? What if it decides to follow his footsteps and become a menace to society? What if—?

“Oh,” Jihyun pulled away and wiped her eyes again, “she’s moving again. She’s probably telling me to shut up.”

“She is?” He asked, placing his hand on her tummy. Jaehyun took a deep breath. She, she, she, Hyerim, Hyerim, Hyerim. Jeong Hyerim, that’s my daughter, yes, that’s right. My daughter…?

Not it, he reminded himself. She. Hyerim. “Is it weird, for you? I mean, obviously, it’s weird, to have something grow and to know you’re going to push it out of your vagina. But is it weird to think that you’re going to be a,” Jaehyun swallowed, “y’know—”

Jihyun watched him with careful eyes, “What? A mom?”

He nodded, “Yeah. Is that weird?”

“It’s no weirder than accepting you’re going to be a dad,” Jihyun mentioned. “Which, I have the sneaking suspicion you haven’t accepted yet.”

“I don’t think I’m a dad. My wife so happens to be pregnant, and I’m just…here. Watching her suffer because I wanted to cum inside her.”

He flinched at the pinch to his arm.

“Talk to her.”

“To whom?”

“To the baby,” Jihyun said with a scoff. He was relieved that she stopped crying.

“Why would I talk to her? It’s not like she can hear me.”

“She has ears, Jaehyun. She can hear you. All she does is kick when you scold me.”

Jaehyun narrowed his eyes. He lowered his head to the swell of her stomach and stared at it, making fierce eye contact with her belly button before glancing up at Jihyun, “What do I say?”

“Whatever you want. It’ll make it feel more real, probably. Maybe then you can consider it a baby and not just a tumor in my stomach.”

Jaehyun rolled his eyes next, “I don’t consider the baby a tumor. Maybe more like…a parasite—ow!”

“Speak.” She ordered.

He snorted. He leaned in and pressed his ear against her and heard nothing. If she was moving, she probably wasn’t anymore.

“Hello?” He said. Jaehyun looked up at Jihyun for reassurance and pulled away when she rolled her eyes. “What? I’m doing what you said?”

“It’s not like she’ll answer you back, Dumbass. Just, talk to her, comfortably.”

“It’s a little hard when you’re judging me and pressuring me.” He grumbled.

Jihyun sighed and shifted her weight so that she laid on the other side, her back facing him again but this time curled against her pregnancy pillow, “I’m going to sleep, try it then. Or tomorrow, or the day after that. You know where I’ll be.”

Jaehyun tried to compensate for his awkward-ness by kissing up her spine and stopping at the nape of her neck. “Sorry, it’s weird.”

She smiled at him sleepily and held his cheek behind her, craning her neck to kiss him. “I know. It’s fine, I was kidding, mostly.”

“I love you,” he said against her lips.

“Me too,” Jihyun yawned and pulled the comforter back over her shoulder. “Hyerim does too. She told me.”

Jaehyun froze.

The baby will love him too. What a strange thought to have. Strange enough for him to dream about, to visualize a baby that looked just like him, with long raven hair and dressed in a stiff, black dress.

Her shoes matched her dressed and shined from the surrounding light, her arms crossed and staring off in the distance. When Jaehyun approached her, she snatched her arm away from him and scoot farther away. Jaehyun’s eyebrows knit together before he found himself in a funeral home, Jihyun’s picture standing next to a beautifully ornate urn, covered in wreaths of flowers.

“It’s all your fault!” She screamed, “I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!”

What was he thinking?! He’s barely a man he could never be a father! Only four years ago he was coked out of his mind, drinking to forget the pain of being left alone and now, he’s supposed to function like a normal, functioning adult? Was he supposed to wake up one morning and just be a perfect husband? The perfect father—?!  

“Jaehyun!”

His eyes flashed open to see Jihyun hovering over him, her palm running over his sweat ridden face, “Honey, you’re drenched.”

“Sorry,” he croaked, noticing the tips of his hair wet. “I didn’t know I would sweat this much or else I would’ve turned off the electric blanket.”

“You run hot anyway,” Jihyun chided, “don’t leave it on overnight. You’re going to kill us both with an electrical short.”

He smiled and pushed back his sweaty hair, “I’m going to shower. Is there anything that you want for breakfast?”

Jihyun shook her head and fell back in the blankets, her eyes closing, “Nope. Ah, actually, I would like a few more onions in my omelet this time. Can you like, really burn them though? Not caramelized I want them burnt.”

“Sure, do you want cheese this time?”

Jihyun shuddered, her mind flashing back to the heartburn she had the night before, “No, no cheese, please.”

Jaehyun yawned without saying another word, getting up to shower and prepare for his day. Much of his day used to revolve around going to the office, coming back, and then spending some of his evening inside his home office until the end of the night. Up until the scare, Jihyun had been fine with the schedule, and often sat in the same room with him while he worked, reading new information on recipes and food blogs that people have posted.

Now, however, the mere idea of leaving Jihyun alone was enough to make his skin crawl and his hands to sweat. What if she needed him while he was gone? What if something else went wrong? Although Jihyun told him she was fine, they both knew deep down that she needed him, if not physically, then emotionally, just to let her know that she wasn’t alone.

Granted, Jihyun’s parents were frequent visits, keeping her company if there was a meeting he had to attend, but otherwise, Jaehyun stayed home for as long as he could.

After cooking onions until they were a charred brown, Jaehyun shoved the aromatic vegetable on top of an omelet, making sure to stuff with as many other vegetables as well as a prenatal powder that she skipped on because of its taste. Jaehyun snuck it in several times, and he’s found that if she eats her prenatal vitamin, she tends to be less nauseous and less likely to have dizzy spells—she didn’t know any better, what with the mushrooms and the burnt onion, she would never find out.

Back upstairs, Jaehyun sat on her side of the bed and placed her plate on the nightstand, shaking her shoulder gently and watching her blink rapidly and focus on the person in front of her. She groaned out loud, an arm thrown over her eyes.

“I was having the best dream.”

“Which one would that be?”

“The one where you bend me over and fuck me until I cry,” she whined, “if it weren’t for my shitty cervix, I could be having the pounding of a lifetime.”

“Give it a few more months,” he said, kissing her ear. “I’m saving it all for you.”

Jihyun shuddered, “It’ll be a few months after I give birth until I can have sex again.”

“I waited four years. What’s a few months?” Jaehyun added, a wry smile on his lips before he kissed her quickly. “Eat your breakfast, baby. I have a video call to attend, so I should be out of commission for a few hours. Will you be alright?”

“Just horny,” she sighed. “Are you going to finish before lunch?”

“I should. If not, I’ll bring my computer with me to the kitchen and I’ll bring you something to eat.”

“Will you eat with me?”

“Of course, I will.”

Jihyun smiled faintly and puckered her lips for a kiss, one that Jaehyun gave her quickly. “Have a good day. I’ll be here when you’re done.”

“If you need anything let me know.”

Jihyun yawned and nodded, allowing her husband to wrap the blankets around her again. It really was a cold day, the sky gray with heavy clouds that threatened snow. He set the heated blanket to its lowest setting and listened to Jihyun’s soft hum before her breathing steadied into its usual choppy rhythm.

He suddenly wished he didn’t need to attend the video call, especially seeing Jihyun asleep so soundly. But, there was work to be done. When the clock struck ten thirty, Jaehyun found himself in his chair in his office, finding Johnny on the screen, Sicheng on the screen, as well as a few of his executive under him. Taeil was there too, the New York skyline shimmering in the distance as he was surely the only one left in his office that late at night.

“Right,” Jaehyun tried his best to stifle a yawn behind his fist, “Let’s get this started then. I’m pulling up the proposal that marketing sent me yesterday, can you walk me through what you have? I think I understand, but I need clarification.”

“Of course, Mr. Jeong. To start the amusement park, we started with demographic…”

And so started his day. He listened diligently to each proposal idea and took notes on the margins. He asked for clarifications and asked for data before asking the financial team what it would take to complete these plans. If those were in check, he asked Johnny what the legal team could do about patents. Once patents were cleared and promised, Taeil was in charge keeping the New York team up to date and how they could help from halfway across the world all while Sicheng nearly broke his hand taking notes himself.

Soon enough, two hours later, the meeting was finished as the executives logged off and Johnny, Sicheng and Taeil remained. They quickly talked about the business and the next steps before they logged off next, opting to keep their illicit business ideas short and curt on online calling and in depth whenever they were in person.

By that point, Jaehyun’s stomach was growling, and he found himself in the kitchen, munching on an apple and a cheese stick before going upstairs to find Jihyun asleep still.

Her breathing slowed down some, snoring delicately into Jaehyun’s pillow that she had tightly grasped. He placed a hand on her belly before kissing her forehead, his hand rubbing in slow circles before he pressed a kiss to her belly button.

He froze again. That was new.

Before Jaehyun could dwell any longer, he shook her shoulder and kissed her softly, brushing stray hair from her forehead before she asked groggily what was wrong.

“It’s lunch time, baby. Are you hungry?”

Jihyun shook her head, “My stomach hurts and I’m tired.”

Jaehyun grimaced, “Okay. Do you want me to let you sleep more?”

A nod this time.

“Can I nap with you?”

Jihyun nodded again and scoot over, allowing Jaehyun to shuffle into bed with her. He really was exhausted, and it took him no time to fall asleep under the warmth of the heated blanket.

This time, there were no dreams about a dead wife, or his daughter cursing him for being alive. They were beautifully mundane, dreaming of times where they would have dinner without the worry of a placenta breaking or some other outlandish worry. They were free to walk around town, hand in hand, and sleep in whatever position they wanted. It was so beautiful that it pained Jaehyun to wake up to his timer that he set earlier, waking up before he had to go back to work.

Surely, Jihyun had slept long enough, and he moved to shake her awake.

She groaned in protest, shaking her head. “I don’t want lunch, Jaehyun.”

“You should eat, though, Jihyun.” He tried, sitting up and moving the blanket off her.

Jihyun argued with him and shook her head, shivering violently, “It’s freezing.”

“You’re probably low on your iron again,” he said next, grabbing her hand and being surprised at how warm her hands were.

Jaehyun’s eyebrows furrowed together as his hands traveled up her arm to her elbow, to her neck, before finally stopping at her forehead. The heat was evenly distributed throughout her body, and Jaehyun was beginning to think the heated blanket had nothing to do with it. “Why do you have a fever, Jihyun?”

“I don’t know.” She mumbled, cuddling closer to his warmth. “I just don’t feel good.”

“What else do you feel?” Jaehyun stood up from bed and loomed over her, his hands against her cheeks to make sure that he wasn’t making up the heat that radiated from her head. He quickly turned off the heated blanket in case it caused her harm. “Jihyun?”

“Hm?”

“What else do you feel, baby?”

A sharp breath ripped through Jaehyun’s lips upon removing the blanket. Under her, the sheets were stained a deep maroon, creating a circle around her hips and seeping through her pajama bottoms. He swallowed harshly, holding his breath while helping Jihyun to sit up.

“’M just tired,” she whispered, “…gonna go back to sleep.”

 “We’re going to the hospital, alright? Is that alright?”

Jihyun nodded her head limply.

“You have to stand, Jihyun, baby, you have to help me.” He pleaded, “Can you stand, Gigi?”

Jihyun shook her head.

A slur of swears and curses fell from his lips before he lifted her onto her feet, but even after he managed to do so, her knees buckled under her, failing to support her own weight and falling into his arms. He lifted her into his arms as quickly as he could, forgetting the baby bag that they packed in their closet and running towards the garage.

The snow that was threatened earlier left a small dusting on the ground, not enough to cause traffic, but enough to make Jaehyun that much more nervous while buckling Jihyun up. His own blood ran cold when he felt the temperature of her hands quickly drop from warm to lukewarm, until they were just as cold as the ice outside. Jaehyun knew this sign well, as all he could do was kiss her fingers and breathe forgotten prayers into her hands.

“Stay with me, Gigi,” he begged, squeezing her arm next. “Okay? We’re going to the hospital now, alright? The doctor is going to take it out of you, and you’ll be better, he’ll make it better, okay, baby? All you have to do is stay awake, Jihyun, that’s all you have to do, my love.”

His breathing stuttered when she did not respond. He held her cool palm to his lips in hopes to warm them up.

He called his in-laws on the way to the hospital, his voice breaking in panic before he entered the hospital, where nurses quickly wheeled Jihyun into an elevator to the labor and delivery. He answered every question as swiftly as he could before he entered the room with Jihyun and their doctor.

“She’s losing blood,” the doctor said to the nurse. “She needs an IV, quickly.”

The nurse nodded and left the room, all while Jaehyun twisted his wedding ring around his finger, trailing closely behind the doctor as he walked around the room. “What’s happened? What’s going on?”

Jaehyun studied the ultrasound in front of him, and while he didn’t understand the black and white blobs, he could hear the baby’s heart, from quick gentle thumps like he heard before to rapid, unsteady quips.

“The baby’s placenta has detached from Jihyun’s cervix completely, which has led to a hemorrhage in one of her blood vessels. If we don’t perform a c-section now, we run the risk of losing the baby.”

“W-what about her? What about Jihyun?” He stammered, his heart beating wildly out of his chest. “She’ll be fine? Right?”

“We’ll be going into surgery to fix the hemorrhage, of course. As soon as I have more information, you’ll be the first to know.”

The doctor held out his hand and placed a small ring in the middle of Jaehyun’s palm. Her wedding ring. Any attempt to hold back his tears failed at this point.

“I’ll let you know as soon as we’re done,” the doctor soothed.

“If…” Jaehyun’s breath came out in a short gasp as his vision slowly became blurred. “If…it comes down to one, save her. Please, save my wife.”

His doctor gave him a somber look before nodding.

Jaehyun staggered backwards and fell in a stiff, plastic chair, his hands catching his head while he wept into her ring.

The snow swirled in violent circles, piling higher and higher up on the ground. It was quiet, from what he determined. Seoul was never quiet, but the foot of snow seemed to deter people from leaving the comfort of their homes. He didn’t hear a single horn or honk, and no one entered the hospital at this hour. His in-laws called him an hour ago, mentioning that they were stuck in traffic and would be for another hour, unless the snow stopped.

The sky, however, had no interest in gifting reprieve, taunting Jaehyun.

The hospital was just as silent. The fluorescent lights that trailed the ceiling flickered every so often to remind him of where he was. It would be another two hours until the café and the coffee shop would open at 4 AM, leaving Jaehyun victim to his own thoughts.

He knew that Jihyun was under anesthesia, he had once been put under it himself, but he couldn’t stop the racing thoughts that made him wonder if she was asking where he was, somewhere deep inside her head. He knew he wasn’t allowed in the sterile environment, and it was probably for the best, his imagination was already causing him this much grief, he couldn’t imagine being there.

“Mr. Jeong!”

Jaehyun jumped out of his skin and spun around. A spindly nurse ran towards him, still dressed in her scrubs that were pristinely clean. He took his head away from the surgery entrance to face the nurse calling out for him, blinking rapidly to rid the burning sensation that came with not blinking for a few hours.

“Good morning!” She said, out of breath. She really was quite young, and couldn’t have been a nurse for that long listening to her cheery voice. Who on Earth would be this energetic at this hour? “I’m here to update you!”

 “Is everything alright?” He pressed, although his shoulders relaxed at her tone. Surely, she wouldn’t bring grave news with a tone like hers. Maybe that’s why she did it.

The nurse’s smile only brightened that much more, annoying Jaehyun slightly, “Come! There’s someone who you must meet!”

He should’ve been more specific. He really wanted to know if Jihyun was alright, and how far along the surgery was going but he had been blindsided by such a bright personality that Jaehyun had no choice but to follow the nurse through the hospital and around the labyrinth of different hallways and staircases. He thought he heard her say something about the elevator being broken through her own huffs and puffs, until they finally made it to their destination.

“Your wife seemed keen on giving you your Valentine’s Day gift.” She expressed after taking a deep breath, her hands on her knees as she desperately tried to catch her breath. “I hope you don’t mind that she’s dressed for the occasion.”

Jaehyun raised an eyebrow. Did everyone on this unit speak in tongues?

He didn’t know what to expect when she opened that door, certainly not a room decorated in paper hearts and pink blankets. His feet grew roots in the floor, trapping him at the doorway while the nurse toddled towards the clear crib. It was almost as if she was in a display case, wires and machines attached to her small body that helped her lungs push air out and pull air in and counted her heartbeats. They were steady beeps now, instead of the muffled quick thumps he heard earlier.

Jaehyun didn’t quite know what to do with his hands and watched the nurse timidly from his post.

“Oh, don’t be shy now! She’s the same as she’s always been, just outside!” The nurse prodded, shoving Jaehyun a little too forcefully into the room. He stumbled in front of the case and found her there, breathing steadily.

Baby Jeong

February 14th –2:03 AM

2.1kg—34cm

She was tiny. Smaller even in his arms as he held her awkwardly, juggling the weight in his arms, watching the nurse for confirmation that he was doing it right. When she didn’t say anything, he sat on the nearest armchair, stunned and frozen at the weight on his chest. He didn’t want to move, what if she woke up?

His efforts would be in vain as the bundle choked out a whine, her tiny hand reaching for his Adam’s apple. Jaehyun studied her fingertips and her palm, making sure to carry her the same way he would with glass. She cooed and nuzzled deeper into his shirt, her hand falling to rest on his heart.

“You should speak to her.” The nurse said quietly, a gentle smile on her face.

“Will she respond?”

“Maybe,” The nurse mentioned, slamming a fist on top of Valentine’s Day decorations that fell off the wall. “That’s the best part.

Jaehyun took a deep breath and placed his hand on her back, pulling her away from his chest to hold her in front of him to study his face. He smiled to himself, to see that her frown was an exact copy of Jihyun’s, her nose even scrunched the same way.

“Hyerim,” he said under his breath. He quickly apologized when she twitched in her sleep. He had startled her.  “Jeong Hyerim, can you hear me? Do you know who I am?”

Hyerim pushed out a whine and cried at her father’s tone, making her father backtrack with a gentler one. His finger traced over her cheeks as he sputtered apology after apology until her cries were reduced to small whimpers until there were none, at all. He watched her in awe, how her lips pressed together to show the divots in her cheeks that she stole from her, not long before she opened her eyes for a moment. It was Jihyun’s scowl, without a doubt.

Jaehyun laughed, failing to realize the tears that fell over his cheeks, landing on Hyerim’s onesie. “You’re upset, I know. No one is letting you sleep. You’re just like Mama, in that way.”  

Jaehyun’s finger grazed the tiny tube that ran into her nose and frowned, glancing up at the nurse, “What’s this for?”

“That’s where we feed her—it’s temporary, until she gets her eating reflexes. It’ll be a lot easier when your wife is awake, and she’ll be able to feed her properly. Get her into it, y’know?”

Jaehyun bit his lip and looked at the bundle in his arms, “She’s alright then? Jihyunie?”

The nurse nodded, “She was stable when I left, but I don’t know much of what happened. Her doctor will know better than I will. I’m pediatrics, and I’m only in charge of…what’s her name again? Hyerim?

“Yes,” Jaehyun nodded confidently. “That’s her name. Jeong. Hye. Rim.”

The nurse held out her hands and Jaehyun watched them before he realized she was asking for her back. He swallowed before reluctantly handing her his daughter, his arms cold and empty. “The anesthesia won’t wear off for another two hours. You should get some rest, we’ll handle it from here.”

Jaehyun watched the nurse place Hyerim back in her crib, where she whined and cried at what he assumed was the lack of warmth. He felt himself jolt towards her before he could think about it, the nurse watching him curiously.

“I’m not tired…do you think I could stay here longer? With her?”

The nurse smiled and nodded, “Of course. I’ll leave you two alone, if you need anything, or when you’re ready, let me know.”

Jaehyun thanked her for being patient with him and waited for the door to close behind her before he placed his attention back on the small swaddle of human being in front of him. He led his hand to the sparse sprinkling of hair on top of her head, rubbing his thumb over her forehead as he studied each of her features intricately.

“You wanted me to stay, didn’t you?” Jaehyun asked softly, watching Hyerim nuzzle into the back of his hand. “I’m here, we’ll find Mommy soon enough, but I’ll stay here until then.”

His finger traced patterns on her small hand to drown out his doubts and his words from earlier, his pleas and begs to save his wife, to disregard Hyerim no matter the cost. How could he stand here and fawn over this new life, when only four hours ago, he resented her every being. He cried again, frustrated at the pattern of tears and holding her hand.

 “I’m sorry,” He choked, dragging his palm over his eyes, “I didn’t know what I meant when I said it. It was never against you, it was always…”

About him. His own selfish needs to make sure he was never alone, that Jihyun was always with her. Jaehyun’s breath quivered while more tears betrayed him, her own eyes burrowing into his while he mulled over the thoughts in his head. How could he resent her, someone so innocent, so…pure?  

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” he confessed through tears. “I think I’m lucky enough that you don’t know what’s going on either, so we have to figure this out together—you have to help me. I’ve never done this before, so it’s going to fucking suck, but we’ll figure it out, together. You, me, and Mommy. I think we’ll come to an agreement.”

Hyerim sighed and moved her neck to the side, her breathing slowing as she let go of his finger. She was asleep.

“I’ll be back,” he sniffled. “I’m going to bring Mama, she was more excited to see you than I was.”

His heart filled up with warmth upon Hyerim showing her dimples again, as if to remind him of who she received them from. Jaehyun instinctively pressed his lips to her forehead, “I don’t mind now though. You’re not horrible to be around.”

“Get some rest, you had a long night,” he said while pressing the nurse button. “I’ll be back in a few hours. You’re stuck with me, it seems.”

Just as Jaehyun was leaving, another nurse found him that he recognized from earlier, still dressed her scrubs the same as Hyerim’s nurse. She informed him that Jihyun was alright, in a stable condition, and was fast asleep in her room—but if Jaehyun were being honest, he stopped listening after he heard that she was alright.

They took the only working elevator to where she was kept, a private room with a suite to make sure their stay was comfortable. It helped to know that she would be comfortable here until she was healthy enough to walk on her own, and even more of a relief for his in-laws, to know that they would be able to sleep in the spare bed.

He slid the door open and found Jihyun’s doctor explaining something to someone he couldn’t see from the entry way until Jaehyun turned the corner to see Jihoon sitting on the foot of Jihyun’s bed, his arm crossed and listening intently to everything her doctor said.

It was full of medical jargon, making it harder for Jaehyun to keep up. It wasn’t until the doctor turned to leave that he saw the new father, his eyes lighting up in surprise. “Oh, hello!”

“Hello,” Jaehyun bowed formally, “thank you, for taking care of Jihyunie. Is she alright?”

“I was just telling your brother-in-law all that we did. I figured you were busy downstairs,” he smiled knowingly.

“She’ll live is all you have to know,” Jihoon added, patting Jihyun’s leg with a disgruntled look on his face. “Leave it to Jihyunie to make everything dramatic. Mom and Dad called me, they’re out of traffic now, they’ll be here soon.”

“I had no idea that you were Jihoon’s brother-in-law,” the doctor, who Jaehyun found his name was Seokhyung, said.

“It’s a…recent development.”

“Real recent. Like seven months ago, recent.” Jihoon patted Seokhyung on the back, “You can do the math.”

Jaehyun flushed.

“Everything is fine then?” Jaehyun repeated, “What can I do? Is there anything I can do?”

“Be patient with her. She’ll be tired more often, of course, but the c-section cut is something painful to recover from. Be attentive to what she needs and what she won’t tell you, is all I can say.”

“Not quite the birthday present you expected, was it?” Jihoon teased.

“Not at all, but the best gifts are the ones you never expect.”

Jaehyun put his attention to his wife who was splayed out in front of him. He tucked sweaty strands of hair behind her ear and smoothed the part in hair before kissing her softly, his knuckles running against her cheekbones.

“The anesthesia won’t wear off for a while, Jaehyun,” Jihoon said behind him. “You should get some sleep.”

“I’m not tired.” He successfully stifled a yawn after this.

“You’re going to want to get all the sleep you can get,” Seokhyung warned on his way out. “You won’t always have nurses taking care of your children so you can sleep.”

“You obviously don’t know the Jeongs,” Jihoon grinned, patting Seokhyung on the back and leading him out the door. “Get some sleep, kid. Seriously.”

The last came out more as a command rather than a suggestion. Jaehyun sat on a stiff chair and laid his head on the bed, watching Jihyun take a deep breath. With a glance to her hand, he quickly slipped her wedding ring off her pinky and placed it on her finger—it took some working into, but it soon slipped on as easily and comfortably as it always did as he kissed it twice before closing his eyes.

Slowly but surely, as the sun rose and shined in their room, Jaehyun slept just as soundly. He dreamt of a small bundle of pink in his arms and dimpled cheeks, of machines in the background beeping but soft sounds of breathing and coos.

It was a strange thing, to hold your heart in your arms.

Jaehyun never knew he was capable of such love, of adoration, of awe. Hyerim was evidence of that, both Jihyun and Jaehyun’s heart poured into something so small, so precious. He found himself dreaming of who she would grow up to be, what her favorite song would be, her favorite food, her movie. He’d cook her every dish, dance to every song, and project the movie on the biggest screen just to see her dimpled smile over, and over again.   

Small pink digits emerged from a blanket, and he could hardly believe they were fingers. They met with Jaehyun’s pinky, wrapping around the tip while he wished they weren’t separated by wires.

“Hyerim,” he called out. It felt foreign—both the name and the idea that this would be the name he would call out for the rest of his life. “Jeong Hyerim, it’s time to wake up.”

Hyerim sneezed and Jaehyun was quick to cover her up in her blanket, “Are you cold, Sweet Pea? It is cold, look—it’s snowing.”

Jaehyun would carefully maneuver so that she faced the window. Hyerim had yet to open her eyes, so he described the scene to her. “Snow…snow is like water that turns soft when it’s cold. It’s white and it sticks to the floor. You can play with it, you can throw it at people, but you must be careful, or else you’ll get sick.”

Jaehyun touched the wire that ran from behind her ear to inside her nose, “Mommy and I love the snow, we’ll show you how to play in it, when you’re older. First, you have to start eating, and when you get chubbier, we can take you home. Can you do that?”

Hyerim stuck out her tongue and scrunched her nose, searching for said source of food. He laughed, “Exactly, just like that.”

“Jaehyun,” she called out. Soft bells, is what Jaehyun would describe her voice as. Spring birds chirping and wind blowing a gentle breeze, “Jaehyun? Wake up.”

He quickly started awake, his eyes flashed open at the sensation of fingers carding through his hair and the light blinding him. She was there when his blurry vision cleared to show her sitting up in her bed, a tired, soft smile on her lips.

“You’re awake,” he beamed, his head nuzzling into her shoulder. He kissed her neck and jawline, while her arms wrapped around her neck.

“I missed you,” she wept in his shirt. “I was scared.”

“I know, baby, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry—" He cried next. Jaehyun peppered her face in kisses and apologies, holding her close. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there and I’m sorry I didn’t bring you here faster, I—"

“Don’t, please don’t be,” she pulled away to hold his face close to her own, using her thumbs to wipe tears from his under eyes. Something danced on her lips as she used her tongue to wet her bottom lip repeatedly, shutting them before opening them, staring at Jaehyun with apprehension.

“You can tell me,” She whispered, her bottom lip quivered. “The baby…our baby, Hyerim…is she—? Is she—?”

Jaehyun shook her head, “She’s downstairs. She’s perfect, Jihyun.”

“Oh God,” a sob ripped through her chest, one full of relief and fear and the uncertainty if she did well at all, despite the expense of her body. “I was so scared, I didn’t hear her cry, I didn’t hear anything at all, all I could think about was if I did well, or if there was more, I could’ve done—”

“You did everything perfectly, she’s just impatient, Jihyun, that’s all,” he soothed with a kiss to her forehead. “She’s beautiful, she looks just like you, she frowns just like you, oh, she’s so perfectly perfect.”

Jihyun’s sobs grew louder and harder, her hands gripping his green flannel until her knuckles were white under her skin. Jaehyun kissed and soothed when he could, knowing that she wouldn’t feel real comfort until Hyerim was there with them, in their arms.

A meal was brought to them after Jihyun calmed down some, still sniveling quietly until she slurped hearty broth into her mouth. She was quiet afterwards, her eyes puffy and red while her husband rubbed reassuringly circles on her back.

“You should eat,” she rasped, opening his portion and scooting it towards the end of the table.

“I will after you do.”

Jihyun shook her head, “It’ll be cold by then. Please eat, Jaehyun.”

His stomach growled in response; he didn’t have a chance. He grimaced and sat opposite of her, calmly slurping on his portion, and always slipping peas onto her plate the same as he always did. Jihyun stopped his chopsticks with her own, a smug look on her face that Jaehyun recieved with confusion.

“You can’t be a picky eater anymore. You’ll have to be an example.”

Jaehyun snorted and dropped the load of peas on her plate, “We could have ten children and not one of them could convince me to eat them.”

A knock distracted them from their meal until Jaehyun recognized the nurse in front of him. He straightened up in surprise and greeted her much to Jihyun’s confusion. She wasn’t as cheery and bright as she was several hours ago, but the smile had the same amount of warmth as she greeted the new parents in front of her.

“Good morning,” Jaehyun watched her stifle a yawn as he wondered how long she had been here for? Surely her shift was ending. “I’ve come to take you to see Hyerimie before I’m off! I didn’t know I was coming during a meal though—I’ll be back in a little.”

“No, we can go now,” Jihyun nodded. Jaehyun would’ve argued had it not been for most of her plates being empty. She quickly tidied up the stand she was eating on and stretched her legs, both sore and stiff from laying down. Her husband was the first to hop off the bed to extend his hands to help her slide off the bed and into the wheelchair, frowning at Jihyun’s pained hiss.

She kissed his knuckle, “I’m okay. I’m just sore.”

Another nurse came in to unplug Jihyun from the machines she was hooked up to. They protested in a wave of beeping and high-pitched automated wails, but the nurse effectively silenced them with a few quick presses of a few buttons.

“The elevator is working now, thankfully!” The NICU nurse cheered, pressed the down arrow while Jaehyun pushed Jihyun inside the open doors. “I can’t imagine what we’d do if they weren’t. One of us would have had to carry your daughter up here somehow.”

Jaehyun smiled to himself, they have a daughter.

“Is she alright?” Jihyun asked carefully.

She nodded, “All ten fingers and toes, no extra bits or bobs. The pediatrician doesn’t think there’s any underlying health issues for now, so we’ll have to wait. Other than that, she’s healthy, waiting for you.”

Jihyun breathed a breath of relief, her hand resting on top of the one her husband placed on her shoulder.

The NICU was much more colorful than their own hallway. Safari animals were painted on the walls, brave lions leading them to other small friends that were in the same, clear, plastic bins that Hyerim was laid in. Other parents watched Jaehyun and Jihyun pass with a polite smile and a nod of their head, almost in solidarity. The parents that didn’t greet them were the ones staring blankly outside a window, parents, he assumed, that didn’t have the same luck they did.

He swallowed harshly and stopped at a door. The Valentine’s Day decorations the nurse put up prior were on the ground, a loud cry that started both Jihyun and Jaehyun as she tried to place them back.

“Aw, I wanted it to look pretty!” She cried, slamming her fist over the paper hearts before remembering her real task. She quickly cleared her throat, “Sorry—I forget there are more important things.”

Jaehyun took his attention off the frantic nurse to watch his wife gaze upon the incubator inside, rolling her chair through the door and stopping at the crib. Her hand rested on clear bin, peering inside until the nurse returned from washing her hands. She reached inside and scooped Hyerim expertly in her arms, but no matter how professional, Hyerim still whined and complained at being moved.

“Oh, I know, I know, I won’t leave you alone,” she chided, “but there are people here to see you.”

Jihyun’s eyes were glued on the small human that was now in Jaehyun’s hands, her own reaching for his shirt after a small gasp escaped her lips. With the nurse’s help, she was placed on Jihyun’s chest, and the soft whimpers that came from Hyerim slowed until there were none, sighing dramatically and resting her hand on her mother’s heart. A sigh of relief.

“I’m sure she was wondering where you were when she couldn’t hear your heart anymore,” the nurse commented. “She had trouble sleeping at first, I think she was looking for you.”

“For…me?” Jihyun croaked, tears spilling over her cheeks, “she wanted me?”

The nurse gave Jihyun a gentle smile before Jaehyun caressed her cheek, kissing the crown of her head. Jihyun quickly wiped the tears from her cheek before glancing at the professional, “Can I kiss her?” She asked carefully, afraid of the answer.

“She’s been waiting for one this whole time.”

Jihyun smiled and gently pressed her lips against Hyerim’s scalp, watching Hyerim twitch in her sleep. After the first kiss came two more, one to her head and to her fingers, causing the infant to spread her lips in a small smile.

“She has--!” Jihyun looked at her husband with a smile that matched his, his nod eager.

“I know. They’re mine. I gave those to her.”

“But she definitely looks more like you, Jihyun-nim,” the nurse reassured, causing Jihyun to laugh.

“Thank you so much for taking care of her when I couldn’t.” Jihyun thanked her graciously, and held the nurse’s hand to squeeze it gently, “May I know your name?”

The nurse beamed and pointed at her nametag. Jaehyun was the first to see, breaking out into a laugh before Jihyun followed.

“There’s this saying,” the nurse smiled, “that the first patient you meet with your name is the patient you get close to. I’ve only been a nurse for a year, but little Hyerim is like my sister now. I can’t wait to see how she’ll grow.”

“I hope you’ll be around to see her.”

“I am a pediatric nurse,” Nurse Hyerim reassured with a wink. “I’ll be here for the next nineteen years of her life—unless they start cracking down on overzealous decorating, I should be safe.”

The nurse glanced at her watch again, “Well, seeing as I’ll be here for a while, I ought to get going while I can. Congratulations again, I’ll see you both tomorrow!”

The couple thanked her endlessly again until she slid the door closed. Once alone, Jaehyun sat next to Jihyun and watched her interact with the infant on her chest, her fingers tracing patterns on her head and on her tiny back. The look in her eye was distant and far, her husband trying her best to bring her back with a caress to her forehead, Jihyun looking back with a small smile.

“What’s wrong?”

Jihyun bit back tears and shook her head, choosing to focus on the baby instead of speaking her mind. Jaehyun waited anyway. The strain on her body was one thing, he couldn’t imagine the strain in her head. Silent tears fell down her cheeks as Jaehyun brushed them away with a finger.

“She’s so small,” she mouthed, barely loud enough for Jaehyun to hear. She held Hyerim’s head close to her chest and matched her breathing.

“You’re not exactly the tallest,” he teased, a small smile appearing on his lips at Jihyun’s scoff—laughing heartily at the snot that flew out of her nostril.

“Asshole,” she sniffed, wiping her snot on his sleeve.

“You did great, Gigi.” Jaehyun watched her bottom lip get sucked on by her top teeth, anything to stop it from quivering. “You did so well, my love. We’ll be out of here in no time. The nurses told me that Hyerim can’t stop eating, there’s nothing wrong with her, there’s nothing you did that changed it. I told you, she’s just impatient, that’s all.”

Jihyun nodded her head and welcomed another kiss to her temple, glancing up at Jaehyun with glassy brown eyes. He took a deep breath and caressed her cheek, “She’s your daughter, after all. My patient genes didn’t stand a chance.”

Jaehyun finally smiled when Jihyun let out a full laugh, a toothy grin left behind before she tilted her head upwards, her husband taking it as a sign to kiss her fully and passionately, his hands threaded in her hair.

“Are you ready?” She asked.

“Not in the fucking slightest. Are you?”

“Fuck no,” Jihyun glanced at the bundle and watched Hyerim breathe in and out slowly. “Will you tell me if I’m being a bad mom? Tell me when I’m being too mean or if I’m being too strict.”

He nodded, “Only if you’ll do the same for me.”

Jihyun smiled, “I already see that stupid look in your eye. The same one my dad gives me all the time.”

Jaehyun raised his eyebrows, “Are you calling your dad stupid?”

He feigned hurt at the weak punch she threw to his shoulder, rolling her eyes. The punch jolted Hyerim the wrong way, the infant whining at being disturbed again before Jihyun calmed her cries with gentle pats to her back.

“Stop being an idiot when I’m holding our baby,” Jihyun snipped. “Did I scare you, Hyerim? I’m sorry Daddy is being annoying already. He won’t leave us alone.”

Jaehyun pulled her in for another kiss, one that Jihyun returned with narrowed eyes, “I love you.”

The confession made Jihyun’s hard expression crack, a smirk coming next before kissing him again. “I know. I love you more.”

“And you, Sweet Pea,” Jihyun reassured, afraid that Hyerim would get jealous of the affection being thrown around.

Another knock came before a nurse poked her head in, remorseful, “Jihyun-nim? I believe your parents are here.”

“They can come in,” she said with a nod, glancing at her husband one more time. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?”

“No, but Hyerim and I talked about it. I think we can make something work.”

[scarletwinterxx]

End To Start pt.6 - JAEHYUN AU

Hi! so i know updates have been real slow but I’ve had the worst case of writers block plus I’ve been so busy at work. As always, thank you for the support! leave a comment or a like, it’s highly appreciated😊

For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.

taglist: @the-universe-in-you-jjh @undevotedfangirl @dumplingley @halbae @johnjaespeach​  @notsooperfect​ ​ @hey-thatslove

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2020 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

PREV || NEXT

If anyone were to tell you a year ago that you and Jaehyun would be on talking terms again, you’d probably laugh at their face. 

But now it seems like the hotshot CEO new found morning routine was ordering coffee at your shop, also occasionally bringing you flowers. He would bring them everyday but you warned that you won’t let him in if he brings another bouquet of flowers. 

“Your favorite customer is late” Jungwoo spoke beside you while he serves the customer in front of him, “Who said I was waiting for him?”

“I never said you were waiting for him” he smirked at you, bumping his hips against yours. You can hear his laughs from behind you. 

It’s not entirely untrue, you were a bit put off when Jaehyun didn’t show up the first fifteen minutes after opening. Usually that’s when he comes in. But not today. 

Letting out a big sigh, you arranged the display rack while waiting for the next customer. 

“Miss Y/L/N” someone called making you look up

“Yes, that’s me”

“Hi, I’m Sooyoung, Mr. Jung’s secretary”

Why would his secretary be here? you asked yourself. 

“He can’t make it today, emergency flight abroad so he’ll be gone for the next few days. He told me to tell you and to give you this” she said then passed the prettiest bouquet of cream colored roses. There were only six of them but they were arranged so beautifully you couldn’t stop the smile on your face. 

“Thanks, did he leave today?”

“Late last night, that’s why he couldn’t call you. If you need anything, feel free to call me” she smiled then passed her card over to you. After that she bid goodbye. 

“Looks like he’s not coming for the next few days” 

“Looks like it” you sighed again, “Well it’s okay, you’re going to be busy anyways. An invitation to cater an event just came it and it’s pretty huge”

“I better get into it then” 

The next couple of days passed by like a blur, just like Jungwoo said you were pretty swamped with work. The catering event was going to be held in an orphanage, so you tried your best to make the cakes look cute for the kids and taste amazing as always. 

“Have you iced this many cupcakes?” you hear Jungwoo ask Sungchan who is on duty too 

“I don’t think I’ve seen this many cupcakes before”

“I’m going to be drowning in icing and buttercream in my dream” 

“Don’t make it look sloppy, make sure it looks cute for the kids” you reminded your two icing assistants

“Like they would care? they’d lick this the moment they get it”

“Kids eat with their eyes first, if it looks like anything that’s not up to their standard they won’t eat it”

It was pretty late when you finally finished all 500 cupcakes, Sungchan left a little after 11pm since you didn’t want him to stay up late but you did make Jungwoo stay much to his dismay. 

“I better get employee of the month”

“You always get employee of the month”

“I don’t feel confident now that I have a competitor”

“Go home, I’ll see you later” you two bid goodbye, hoping to catch a bit of rest before the event later. 

You haven’t talked to Jaehyun since he left, you two sent messages back and forth and that’s pretty much it. He didn’t mention when he was coming back, you didn’t ask either. Why would you anyways. 

It was confusing just where you really stand with him. It would be a lie if you say you don’t feel anything for him, but there’s also the fear in the back of your mind. What if it fails again? What if this time you don’t get a do over?

You would rather have him as a friend than lose him again. 

But Jaehyun wasn’t much help either. He didn’t mention anything but he’s a man of action, he’d show his feelings before saying them. And right now, it does feel like you both are reading the same book just not sure whether it’s on the same page yet. 

“Thank you so much for doing this event, it was a bit of a rush” the organizer greeted you when you got to the venue, the distant laughter of kids reaching your ears making you smile.

“No problem, really. It was a pleasure to do this”

“Our boss specifically requested you, we just weren’t sure you were going to say yes at such a short notice”

“Your boss?” You asked, “Yes, he’s a regular at your shop. He’s overseas at the moment”

At the mention of that, you kind of got an idea who she was talking about. 

As the day progressed, you had some free time after you gave the cupcakes to the kids. 

“Do you want to meet the babies?” one of the lady who was helping with the snacks asked, “They can’t join the celebration but if you want you can visit them” she smiled at you

“That sounds great” you nodded and let her lead the way back inside and into the nursery area

“They hold this event every year, for the past five years. I remember when we first got a call saying someone was asking if they could sponsor an event for the kids, he’s always been present but I guess he’s busy this year”

5 years? The same amount of time since you’ve been gone. 

“Here we go, we have a few babies here right now, 7 to be exact. But this one, she just got in yesterday. She’s only a few days old”

That almost made you burst into tears, how can someone leave this bundle of love and joy?

The lady saw how you were just looking at the baby so she asked, “You can hold her” she smiled at you before taking the baby from her cot and holding her out to you

When she was placed in your arms she fussed for a bit before finding a more comfortable spot, “She likes you” the lady said 

“Me too” you mumbled, gently caressing the baby’s face with your forefinger. 

“I was an orphan too” you mumbled, still looking at the little girl

“My mom died when I was very young, leaving me with my dad. I guess he couldn’t handle losing my mom so he drank his sorrows every night then those nights became every day then it became every day and every night. He died of a liver complication a year after my mom passed away”

“I’m so sorry to hear that”

You sent her a smile, “I spent most of my childhood in an orphanage too, I was 11 when I got my first job. I used to sweep a cafe for this old lady, she adopted me before my 13 birthday. Sadly she passed away a few years after, her kids sold the shop so I was left on my own again.”

“You’re doing great and it doesn’t make you any less of a person if you have one less or no parent at all. All these kids here, I have great trust they’ll have a bright future ahead. Just like you” you hear her tell you, and that made you beam at her. “Thank you”. It was nice to be told you’re doing good every once and a while. 

“You’ll do great things too, little one. I just know” you whispered to the baby

“Oh, looks like we have a visitor. I thought you weren’t going to make it” she was speaking to someone from the doorway

“You know I won’t miss this for the world” you don’t need to turn around to know who it was, “Did the kids have fun?” Jaehyun asked

“Of course, they loved the animal cupcakes the most” 

“I knew they would” he smiled, then looked over at you still with the little baby in your arms. When she started to fuss a little more, you gave her back to the caregiver with a smile on your face. 

“Don’t worry about her, she’ll find her home too” someone said from beside you 

“She's just so young, she wouldn’t even remember this moment. That's good I guess” you mumbled the last part then turner to face Jaehyun. He shot you a loopsided smile before leading you out the room, 

“You didn't say you were coming today, or the fact that you were the one who arranged this event” you told him

“been sponsoring them for a couple years now” “so I've been told, you know your brother worked hard on those cupcakes I think he's traumatized” you joked, making Jaehyun let out a chuckle 

“I missed this, I missed you”

“huh?”

Instead of answering you, he just tucked in a loose strand of hair behind your ear with a smile on his face. 

“Does it bother you? Being here?” he asked 

“Not really, not as much as I thought it would. For the longest time I tried to forget about this part of my life but really that was just my fear of being left alone. I'm okay now”

“I should've asked you first, sorry”

“No really I'm fine, I want to thank you actually, I got to meet so many kids and made them smile in a way” with that being said you smiled over at him, his face mirroring yours. 

“Sorry you felt that way, sorry you were ever scared of being left alone”

“Why are you saying sorry, it wasn't your fault. Besides if none of that ever happened I wont be here now, wouldn't I? I would've never met you”

“Well we can’t have that” Jaehyun joked 

“missed you too, you dork” you mumbled then walked ahead leaving a smiley and blushing Jaehyun behind. 

After the event, you drove back to your store to finish the day. The young CEO currently on one of the booths waiting for you to close. 

“You know, you can go home now. You literally just got back from a 12-hour flight” you told him when you saw him yawn the third time, “But I’m still taking you out to dinner” he answered

“Who said I was going out with you?” you asked with a straight face, “Atleast feed me some dinner” you hear hear reply as you grab your bag from your office before turning all the lights off. 

“Well, let’s go. I’m not getting any younger here” you motioned for him by the door, “You could’ve just ordered in and rested at home you know. I can see the dark shadows under your eyes, Jae”

“Is that concern I hear?”

“You didn’t get any rest during the trip?” you asked back, Jaehyun shaking his head as an answer

“You have a very bad habit of not taking good care of yourself” you mumbled, getting in his car and waiting for him to drive off 

“That’s why you’re here now, why would I need to worry about that?” he smirked at you before starting his car and driving off, “Your place?” he asked

“Why not yours? That way you don’t have to drive home so late”

“Just say you want to come over” he teased you, “if I did, you would know. Just drive, Mr. Jung”

“Why do you always ask me out to dinner anyways?” you asked, “I hate eating alone” Jaehyun answered, straight and simple.

“It’s not like I was always around to eat dinner with you, what did you do then?”

“I mostly stayed in my office before, I never really get home early enough to eat dinner nor do I have the energy to once I get back to my place. Most days I just skip it”

“For five years?”

“There’s a lot of things I didn’t do while you were gone, believe or not it wasn’t that easy moving on from you too.” he said it in a joking manner but you looked over to see a sad smile on his face “When Sungchan is free, I ask him to stay with me. Atleast then I have to make an effort making dinner for us, most times my secretary orders for me” he added

For a while you didn’t say anything, just looking at this guy beside you. 

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer”

“If you’re not too busy, just come over and we’ll cook dinner together or order out or something. Just... just don’t do that again” you mumbled

“You’ll cook for me?”

“If I recall correctly you were the one who said you’d make a good house husband” you retorted back, earning a laugh from the man. 

“I’d cook us dinner every night if it means you come home to me”

You don’t reply to him after that. Letting his words hang in the air for now. 

“I have a question”

“No, I’m not going”

“I haven’t even asked it yet, rude” Yugyeom said from where he was sitting on your couch, the young doctor suddenly barging over at your apartment after his shift. 

“You’re friends with Seo Johnny right?”

“Yea, why?”

“I heard he’s engaged”

“WHAT?!” you walked back to your living room to see Yugyeom looking at you with a confused look “He’s girlfriend, well now fiance, is friends with one of my friends. So you know, word gets around”

You were about to say something when you heard a knock on your door, “You expecting someone?” Yugyeom asked

“Yes in fact I was” you grumbled, making your way to your front door

“Is it your bootycall?” he screamed from the living just as you opened the door to reveal Jaehyun standing on the otherside

“I’m the booty call right? or is there another guy? cause that would be a messy thing to deal with” Jaehyun told you, answering him with an eye roll then opening the door wider for him enter

“You have company?” he asked, shrugging his jacket off 

“Unexpected one, you might know him”

“So who is it? Oh Jaehyun” you hear Yugyeom say, finally standing up from the couch to see who the new visitor was

“Kim Yugyeom”

“You two know each other?” you asked the two as you look back and forth between them, “You can say that” Yugyeom cryptically answered

“Good then we can bond over dinner tonight, go set up the table you. Dinner’s almost ready”

The rest of the night went by smoothly, exchanging stories between the three of you. Finding out that Jaehyun and Yugyeom knew each other through a group of friends around the same age and ocassionally hang out with, 

“It’s been so long since the last time you came with us” Yugyeom said while munching on the dinner you prepared, “Been pretty busy”

“We’re all busy, don’t drown your self with work. We’re too young for that” Yugyeom joked making Jaehyun chuckle

“That what I told him!”

“You get scolded too? This is why I only come here when I’m not too tired, she can be- ouch! did you just kick me under the table” Yugyeom asked you 

“Eat your food”

Jaehyun was just looking between the two of you, a look of confusion on his face. Like he wanted to asked but choose not to, not now atleast. 

Yugyeom left first after dinner, saying he has a surgery early tomorrow but promising to drop by soon. When you walked back inside, Jaehyun was in the kitchen wiping some dishes you just washed. 

Ever since the night you asked him to just come over whenever he’s not too busy to, he’s pretty much coming over every night after work to eat dinner with you. 

“You okay there, Mr. Jung?”

“Mhm”

“Go ahead, you look like you’re itching to ask me something” you said with a teasing smile on, one that he didn’t reciprocate once he turned to face you

“Are you sure nothing’s going on between the two of you?”

“Me and Yugyeom? He’s a friend, I already told you that”

“Then what was he saying you scold him too?”

You let out a chuckle because you can see he may or may not be jealous  over that, he looked cute either way. 

“Yea well that guy practically lives in the operating room, he once didn’t go home for three days. I have to remind him every once in a while he’s not a robot” you explained, the pout on Jaehyun’s lips getting more and more prominent as you went on. 

“Are you jealous?” you asked

“Me? Why would I be?” he asked back, “Right, you’re right” you nodded then turned around to clean up the kitchen some more. 

“Wait”

You stopped and turned to look at him again, “Yes?”

“What?” you asked again

He didn’t answer you for a while, just stared at you while looking like he was having the biggest internal debate when finally he said

“Will it make look too desperate if I ask you to be my girlfriend right now?”

That made you laugh out loud, Like clutch your stomach, bend over to hold your knees kind of laugh. 

“Well that’s one way to bruise a man’s ego” you hear him say, making you stop for a second

“Ask me again some time” you told him, “Why not now?”

“Because”

“Because why?”

“Because I feel like this time we finally got it right, I don’t want to mess up again and it’s not like we’re in a rush. I already know I like you and only you, so stop being jealous. Ask me again when you stop doubting” you told him, shooting him a gentle smile as you finished your little speech. 

He didn’t expect the answer you just gave him because suddenly Jaehyun was hit with this sudden urge to gather you in his arms and kiss you senseless or get down on one knee right here in the middle of your kitchen and ask for your hand in marriage. 

It wasn’t overwhelming or scary, he thought it would be but seeing you smiling at him like that and hearing you say those words to him just further affirmed what he knew right from the very start.

You are, always was, his end. It’s always been you. 

Now that you’re back in his life, he’s damn sure he’ll never let you go again. Now that you confirmed you return those feelings, there’s no way he’ll ever let you go like he did before.  

“What?” you asked when he didn’t say anything 

“Nothing, I just... Just then and there, I wanted to ask you to marry me so bad” Jaehyun said, making you burst out laughing again. The man smiling at you.

“Well when you work out what ever it is you want to ask me, you know where to find me”

[jae-canikeepyou]

the light clicks from the keyboard and the fast-paced breathing of yours were as if they were competing with each other. stings of pain began to hit every nerve of your head. well it had been two hours. the smell of your baked bread order was quickly overpowered with a strong scented perfume. because of this, it had you looking up from your work and laptop; only that your eyes met with your boyfriend’s.

jaehyun arched his brows at his girlfriend’s embarrassed expression. you were caught in the headlights, pressing your lips for ‘lying’ at him. “i knew something was fishy.” he said, words a little inaudible due to the mask he wore. he wobbled his phone, showing you something that soon had your eyes rolling.

you squirmed and propped yourself elbows on the table, bummed out that he figured the moment you sent him the text message. “i’m sorry?..” you sighed, mood changing instantly.

he sat next to you as he brought his mask down to his chin, then taking a sip from your coffee, his eyes locked into yours. the guilt feeling grew in you and you should’ve told him sooner. “i memorised your schedule, you can’t fool me baby.” he said. “do you want me to help you?” he offered to give a hand for your essay, later smiling at your now bright, sparkly eyes.

“as much as i don’t want to admit it, yeah. i need your help.” you slumped on his shoulder, defeat written all over your face.

“mhm next time, don’t do your homework last minute.” he caressed your arm and kissed your temple thinking that the pain you felt would go away.

and it actually did.