#jess talks cr

[ludinus-is-a-bitch]

What if Predathos, the God-Eater, is the Luxon? The dunamis magic they're using is just parts left over from the battle with the gods, who came to Exandria after the Luxon, banished Predathos because of reasons??? Like, this is my world why fuck it up with your shit??? Oh my god I don't know but feeding the Malleus Key concentrated Beacon magic/dunamis/dunamatic magic is just leaving me with questions????

[undead-knick-knack]

Remember when this was a thing that Laudna said? As recently as episode 68?

[candelasobscuras]

im on episode 3 of ExU calamity and it’s just a mix of sirens and ‘oh no, oh no, oh no no no’ playing in my head.

[leviiackrman]

Wtf did I just watch…

[adamsmasher]

Okay it's after 1am and I've had a lot of wine so obviously it's time for a late night wall-of-text post, but this time it's less likely to piss off your weird uncle or whatever because once again, I gotta talk about the best $4.99 a month I've ever spent.

Please, if you haven't yet, I'm begging you to look into all of the incredible content available on the Dropout.tv streaming service (formerly known as College Humor) . Not only did Whose Line Is It Anyway's Wayne Brady say that the Dropout crew are the only ones doing improv comedy on the same level as Whose Line, but they were also one of the only studios/streaming services allowed to work during the writers' strike because their contracts went above and beyond industry standards. (And, from my own observations, Dropout LOVES hiring queer, trans/nonbinary, and BIPOC performers + crew. Obviously I don't know much about the industry, but they seem like one of the most inclusive companies in Hollywood.)

"Alex, thanks for the recommendation! What shows do they have that you think I'll like?" Oh, you're asking me to gush about my favorite tv shows? Don't mind if I do!!!

Are you D&D curious, but took one look at actual play shows like Critical Role and thought "6 hours an episode? and there's like 750 episodes or whatever? oh baby not my adhd ass..." Don't worry, me too (sorry CR I love you I promise). But Dropout has a show called "Dimension 20" where comedians play Dungeons and Dragons with emotional, immersive storytelling, gut-busting laughs, and spectacular set design that makes you forget it's a fully improvised series controlled by the roll of the dice. They even did a miniseries perfect for D&D beginners called "Dungeons and Drag Queens" where absolute novices and Drag Race royalty Jujubee, Monet X Change, Alaska Thunderfuck, and Bob the Drag Queen embark on an adventure full of mystery, intrigue, and stupidity. I mean, Alaska plays a muscle-bound, axe-wielding, caveman-grunting Orc named Princess, what more could you want? Plus, the primary game master Brennan Lee Mulligan is so easy on the eyes. Oh, you're not into dorky ginger dudes? How about Aabria Iyengar, a 6 foot tall goddess who's equally as nerdy as Brennan but loves basketball. that's right, if nothing else, there's eye candy for every person in every season.

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Are you more of a traditional Whose Line fan? Look no further than Game Changer spin-off Make Some Noise, where contestants act out "improvisational prompts that [they have] never seen before, isn't that right contestants?" ("We won't know if we've seen them before or not until we see them!" Brennan insists every time he's on...)

You like musicals but wish they were less... ya know, scripted? Check out "Play It By Ear", a fully improvised musical! (you may be familiar with its primary cast members Jess McKenna and Zach Reino from the podcast that inspired it all, "Off Book: the Improvised Musical Podcast with Zach and Jess")

Or maybe you're more into trivia, cuz you're a total nerd like me (and every single performer that's ever appeared on dropout.tv). How about "Umm, Actually" where contestants are given an incorrect statement and have to buzz in to correct it - but you have to say "Umm, Actually" first!

Straight up, you can't go wrong on Dropout. Please, check it out. They're nearly doubling the amount of original shows they have in 2024, and no other streaming service is doing it like them. If I haven't convinced you yet, get the 7 day trial and give em a chance. There's no referral code I can give you that gives me some sort of kickback or whatever, I genuinely wrote what looks like a thousand word essay about Dropout at 1am just because I love them so much.

[hendolish]

England NT Fic Recs ♡

never know where to start for a pairing or you're new to england nt rpf? here's a shameless collection of my favourite fics to give you a head start 🫶🏻 ———

Jack Grealish/Jordan Henderson

melt by inlovewithnight (8k)

soulmate au where you feel everything your soulmate does and can't bear being too far away from each other. they're just so at ease and in love with each other in this. probably my favourite hendolish fic! <3

About as subtle as an earthquake, I know by Lizz_88 (Bluejay00) (68k)

jack's a stripper, jordan's himself. so much more than what it says on the tin! all the characters are super complex and it takes a lot of work for these two to get together (with no shortage of lap dances and smut along the way) <3

Calm Before The Storm by preachingdoll (6k)

post-euro 2020 heartbreak jack needs a bit of help coping. jordan's there to offer a helping hand... the smut and dirty talk is 10/10

best worst behaviour by Bellelaide (25k)

kind of a hendolish classic, jordan puts bratty jack in his place.

♡

John Stones/Jordan Pickford

Sun City AU by Bellelaide (series, 40k)

honestly one of my favourite fics ever, let alone footie-wise. jordan's on a very british all-inclusive holiday at a hotel where john works. the vibes are just immaculate, you can visualise everything so clearly and there's so much depth to their characters!

Ice Melts by Bellelaide (7k)

enemies to lovers kinda? john doesn't think much of jordan before the 2018 wc but the further they get in the tournament, the closer they become. amazing characterisation and banter as always.

Helping Hand by slatkomore (14k)

with john's career ended abruptly by an injury, he turns to coaching instead and soon becomes the england u19s manager where he meets the goalkeeper coach, jordan pickford...

your world cup or mine? by Bellelaide (15k)

john goes to sleep at the 2022 wc and wakes up back in 2018 where he and jordan aren't together and barely friends. such an interesting concept and dynamic!

♡

Jack Grealish/John Stones

The Things We Did and Didn't Do by InTheFicOfIt (series, 104k)

john and jack sleep together in the aftermath of the euros, the following fic explores everything that comes after, including jack moving to man city and their friends finding out. i'm never usually tempted by this pairing but this fic is so damn good! it's written so wonderfully and there's so much of it- i couldn't put it down!

♡

Ben white/Aaron Ramsdale

happy together by foxholecourts (1k)

this fic perfectly encapsulates their vibe for me. the back and forth between the two of them is just delightful and exactly how i imagine them to be together, but it's also as equally sappy! i love these two idiots sm <3

watching you watching me by foxholecourts (2k)

ben likes to be watched... 10/10 benaaron characterisation from this author as always.

sweettalker by Anonymous (5k)

smut with a lot of dirty talk about the other arsenal lads. ben is very complex in this- an interesting take on their relationship!

I’m Not In Love by ceraunophilex (1k)

aaron falls in love immediately, ben slowly warms to him. short and sweet.

♡

Jordan Henderson/Trent Alexander-Arnold

Shake Me Into the Night by orphan_account (17k)

always hits me right in the feels. based around liverpool winning the champions league, the writing is so detailed and amazing!!

♡

Jude Bellingham/Reece James

the sun and the rainfall by ohsusie (series, 6k)

jude asks reece about some of the rumours surrounding him to help him broach a sensitive topic of his own. reece gives him some guidence. they're so sweet in this!

♡

Dele Alli/Eric Dier

In This World Of Ours by dierdele (53k)

the classic deledier best friends to lovers 2018 world cup get-together fic. you can't beat it, literally so cute oml.

♡

Marcus Rashford/Jesse Lingard

both your hands in the holes of my sweater by yvenger (jjjat3am) (3k)

this one is so much fun hehe, the ~2018 man u squad if they were a sunday league team where jesse's very confident and marcus has a huge crush on him. love the inner dialogue so, so much. ending is super cute!!

i can feel that body shake by princessrosberg (3k)

an england nt night out leads to them getting together and their first time! jesse and marcus characterisations are on point, esp the way they talk to each other <3

♡

Harry Kane/Gareth Southgate

All Good Things... by orphan_account (12k)

their established relationship is so cute in this! post-2018 wc and preparing for the euros, england team banter is perfect.

wished by orphan_account (23k)

gareth is harry's p.e teacher at school. listen… no comment... there's a reason it's the most kudos-ed southkane fic

♡

[colorcodedbeanies]

S2 E5-"Breakage

Sorry about the long posting gaps, new job+sick+RDR2+L+ratio etc. Favorite line from this episode is "why don't you stop being such a freak about everything" I think I should be paid to say that to Walt once an hour.

TW: Racism, police brutality, addiction, alcoholism

So I've always been really unsure what to make of the cold opening of the two illegal immigrants crossing the Rio Grande. With the analytic frameworks I've applied until this point I think I'm choosing to understand it as complicating the idea that violence is sneaking up into the US across the Mexican border. Two scared, shivering men cross the river, and on the other end find an artifact of state-sanctioned violence. It never had to be imported from "lawless Mexican hell", as Marie describes it. We grow it just fine right here.

The cigarettes Walt finds jammed in the toilet act in visual parallel to Jesse's meth that he tried to flush down the toilet last season. The scene where he confronts Skyler about them is chockful of hypocrisy. Smoking while pregnant is bad for the baby's health. So is being a meth dealer trading with people who will shoot your whole family. Beyond that, though, there's one line from Skyler that stands out to me: "I'm sure you'll be very glad to hear that yes, I feel ashamed." She's accurately calling out what Walt's actual priority is. It's not determining the health of their child, or trying to help her so she doesn't feel the need to seek out a narcotic to cope. It's punishing her for needing an escape in the first place. Exactly the attitude he spends all of last season directing at Jesse.

Speaking of more socially acceptable addictions. I have never once seen anyone draw a connection between the fact that Walt cooks meth and Hank brews beer. Both manufacture substances that have heavy ties with addiction, and that can destroy lives. Both seem to seek out the crafting process as an escape from their day to day stress (Hank taking a day off to try and self-therapize with it). Only difference is Hank operates under the banner of legality, something the two of them talk about indirectly in 1x07.

We're getting in this episode to how Walt tends to mythologize the brown men around him into figures of ultimate violence, but also ultimate power. His disdain for Tuco is pretty explicitly racialized when he disparagingly asks Jesse if "you['re] gonna beat your 'homies' to death when they 'diss' you?" However, later in this episode he criticizes Jesse for not being ENOUGH like Tuco. "You think Tuco had 'breakage'? I guess that's true. He broke bones." This is of course, factually inaccurate. Beyond what we see in BCS that establishes Tuco had some clear problems in his organization that went way beyond some product theft, it's also just actually impossible to run any kind of business without experiencing any kind of skimming. Like Jesse says, J.C. Penney's gets breakage. How much more so when you're dealing with a substance that inherently manufactures dependence? None of those realities matter to Walt, though, who is chasing after his idea of what a kingpin is like. Tuco doesn't live on in his memories as a unstable guy with an uncle he looks after and poor long-term planning. Instead, he's transformed into an unstoppable killing machine, brutal and (you should read the full racial implications into this word) savage, but also untouchable. The kind of man Walt secretly longs to be and is currently using Jesse as a proxy to try to achieve

This is further doubled down on when, after an argument with Skyler where Walt feels unmanned by his inability to control his wife's behavior, he goes right to Jesse's house and demands he take care of business. Its him trying to imitate Tuco again, though this time not by his own hands.

Jesse is also doing some imitation here. It's not Tuco he acts like at the meeting though. It's Walt.

Hank can't glorify the Tuco fight with his usual bravado. He can, however, provide unique insight into a cop's view of a criminal when he describes them as functionally subhuman. Cockroaches. Your first instinct is to step on them. Drug dealers, addicts, gangsters, Mexicans they aren't people like you and me. If you saw one, you would immediately know you had to crush it to preserve yourself. This is going to get sooooo beautifully subverted next episode.

The Skyler-Marie conflict continues to act in parallel to the Skyler-Walt conflict, with Skyler refusing to proceed until Marie does her the basic service of respecting her with the truth. Marie tantrums like Walt does, asking "why are you punishing me" and seemingly frustrated that the consequences can't just evaporate because she doesn't want to deal with them. At the end of the day though. The distinction is that Marie loves her sister more than her pride. Walt...remains to be seen.

[hogwartsandhawkins]

Prove Me Wrong

Chapter 2: Cherry Lane is in my ears and in my eyes

Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6

Summary: Billy struggles while attempting to read The Iliad for the first time.

Trigger Warnings: Of course, lots of swearing. Mentions of body dysmorphia and dieting attempts. It's brief, but still could be upsetting to some. Neil makes an appearance, so he's a warning by himself. Mentions of bruising and child abuse. Let me know if I missed anything.

Word Count: 7.6k (I sincerely apologize for how long it is)

Side note: I know it's starting off slow, we're getting there though!

“So you’re telling me that you’ve lived on my street this whole time and I never knew.” Billy was speeding down the back road to his (and now apparently their) street. He drummed on the steering wheel as they talked, “Heaven’s on Fire” playing softly in the background.

“Max knew.” 

“How’d that shit-bird end up knowing before me?” He began reaching into his jacket pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He fumbled the pack open and pulled one out, put it to his mouth, and began struggling to get his lighter to spark. “Piece of shit.” He raked his thumb against the starter more aggressively, causing his hand to jolt in the process, but once he finally got it to light, Jess quickly yanked the cigarette from between his lips and threw it out her now open window. 

“What the hell was that?” Billy’s eyes widened at her as if questioning the audacity she has to even think to do something like that. 

Jess ignored his gaze. “Those are gross and I don’t want to be around them.”

Billy just shook his head at her response and went for another one. As he put it in his mouth Jess reached back over, but Billy was faster this time and snatched her hand before she is able to reach it. 

“Do you want to walk?”

“Do you want to pass? I don’t want to smell like smoke when walking into my house.”

“Whatever.” Billy swiftly turned the dial on his sound system, causing the music to blare throughout the street, “Guns for Hire” by AC/DC now playing. His right hand left the dial and rested on his stick shift, occasionally tapping it with his thumb. He steered with his left wrist resting on top of the wheel, leaving his fingers free to air drum to the music. 

They finally reached Cherry Lane, where they pulled into a driveway that Jess recognized as Max’s, or in this case, Billy’s. “Stay here. I’ll be right back.” Billy swiftly opened his door and left her in the car, keys still in the ignition and music still blaring. She took the opportunity to turn down the stereo and continued to wait. Ten minutes passed, and Jess decided she waited long enough. He should have had everything he needed, so what the hell was he doing? She walked up to his door and just as she was ready to knock, it swung open, Billy standing at the entrance with a different shirt and wet hair, which Jess assumed was from a shower. 

“Are you kidding me? Is.. Is that cologne??” 

“I told you to wait in the car. Come on let’s go.” 

“So we came here just so you could take a shower?” She grabbed her bag from the passenger side and began to walk toward her house. 

“What’re you doing?”

Jess stopped in her tracks and turned back around to see that Billy reentered the driver’s seat, ready to drive them to their destination. “I told you, I live on your street.” 

“Well yeah but, we can really just walk it?” Billy turned his keys out of the ignition, and grabbed his bag as well, checking his reflection in the window before striding after Jess.

“Unfortunately.” Billy quickly caught up with her and chuckled at her response. “What. You don’t think it’d be fun if I snuck over every once in a while?” Billy was looking down at her now, making sure to slow his walking pace to stay brushed up against her shoulder. The right corner of Billy’s lips cocked upward after her lack of response. Jess saw this and sighed, “Please try to behave yourself at my house.”  Billy traced a cross over the left side of his chest with his index finger, not dropping the smirk off his face as they walked through the front door of the Logan household. 

“Hi hun how was school? Oh? Who is this?” Jess’s mother was now looking over at the boy, who quickly ran his fingers through his hair and presented her with his award-winning smile, which Jess was already becoming sick of. Billy pushed Jess slightly out of the way and reached out his hand to take her mother’s. 

“Billy Hargrove. It’s a,” He paused, flickering his eyes up and down, quickly taking in Mrs. Logan’s appearance, “pleasure to meet you.” He ended his sentence and slowly bit down on his bottom lip, rolling it around between his teeth. He then smiled again and continued, “We have a little project we’ll be working on for a bit, so I’ll be over quite a lot. Hope you don’t mind.”  Jess recognized the glimmer in his eyes. She’s seen it enough at school when he talked to other girls or even her. Realization hit her, and her eyes became wider, looking at Billy with disbelief, her mouth slightly ajar. Mrs. Logan smiles back politely, about ready to respond when Jess quickly interrupts their conversation. 

“Alrighty mom well, we better get started, we have A LOT to do so…” She grabs Billy by the shoulders and steers him to the stairs that were located at the entrance hall, and nudges him, indicating for him to go up. He does as he’s told and proceeds to go upstairs, but not without flashing Mrs. Logan one more smile before ascending to the top floor. “We’ll be a bit, but save me some dinner. Love you.” 

“What about your new friend, will he be staying for-“

“Absolutely not.” Jess is already halfway up the stairs as she calls down her answer to her mom, already irritated with what she witnessed. She quickly swings open her bedroom door, Billy already making himself comfortable, thumbing through her drawers full of pajamas. The audacity.

“Wow Jess, I didn’t realize how boring you really are.” He now had an old white t-shirt, which looked like it once had the name of their high school basketball team, but it had been washed one too many times to clearly make out.  Jess snatched the t-shirt from his hands and threw it back in her drawer

“Were you just flirting with my mother?”

“Of course not, why would you think that?” Billy found her question amusing, and the way she was turning pink was kind of cute.  He then relaxed his neck and held his back a little, looking down at her while shoving his hands in his pockets as if he was saying so what if I was.

“I’ll have you know she’s happily married.”

“Sure she is.”

“Leave my mother,” Jess then slammed her drawer back shut, “and my things alone.” Billy threw his hands up in surrender, “Whatever you say, princess.” Jess rolled her eyes at the nickname that looked like was sticking, and plops down on her bed, opening the book to where they stopped reading in class, desperately wanting to be done with this chapter as soon as possible. She began reading without Billy, as he slowly made his way to the other side of the bed and sat down, scooting his way closer to her so he could begin to read along. Jess grabbed the right page and started to flip it over before Billy stopped her. “Wait, I’m not done. Jesus.” Sighing audibly, she slid the book closer to Billy, who gave her an irritated glance. He rested his elbow on the inside of his thigh as he read, but after five minutes on the same page, he began running his fingers through his hair, obviously more irritated than before. 

“Are… you okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Ready to turn the page then?” Jess didn’t mean to be pushy, but at this rate, they’d be lucky to be finished with this chapter by the end of the school year, let alone the end of the weekend. 

“Whatever.”

“I mean if you’re not that’s fine. I was just-“

“I said yes, Jessica.” Confusion contorted onto Jess’s features as she contemplated what could have changed his attitude so quickly. She continued to look at him, refusing to turn the page until she figured it out. Billy leaned against her padded headboard, which he found oddly comfortable, and finally responded, dropping his attitude. “I have no idea what the fuck is going on.” 

“You mean, in the chapter?” Billy just nodded his head, not breaking eye contact with the stuffed bears across the room. “Okay, well why didn’t you say so? I could, like, paraphrase it for you and we can keep reading.” At this, he nodded his head again, but more enthusiastically this time, and began to untense his shoulders. “So in the beginning, the Trojan war has already taken place for about 9 years, and now the Greeks have these two daughters captive, right? Their names are here, Briseis and Chryseis. Well Chryseis’ father comes to try to ransom her back from the Greeks, and…” Jess continued to retell the first chapter, Billy listening intently, nodding at some parts, and stopping her to ask her questions in other parts. 

“Wait, so this guy doesn’t want to give back the girl, even after the plague and shit? No offense, but no girl is worth that much.” 

“Yeah well, he eventually does, but then takes Briseis from Achilles, which makes him stop fighting in the war for a bit, but we’ll get to that later.” 

“You read the chapter already?” Billy was trying to remember when she could have possibly done this. They’ve been together nearly the entire time since they’ve gotten the thing. Did she read it while he was showering? There’s no way she could’ve done that…

“I’ve read the whole book already. I had to read it in advanced English in middle school, but I dropped it when I went into High School.” Jess saw the hopeful expression on Billy’s face when she said this. “It’s been a while though, so I don’t remember everything. We’re still gonna have to read it.” 

“Why’d you drop it?”

“There’s only so many advanced classes you can take before you’re labeled a nerd.” To this, Billy only shrugged, thankful she did in fact drop the class. He had no idea how well he’d do this semester without her. “Anyway, do you need to take a break? We got through a good bit.” 

“No, I need to figure this shit out before Monday.” Billy turned the page and sighed at how many more pages they had to get through before they got to book 2. 

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but why do you care about your grade so much? I get not wanting to fail, but most of… your friends anyway, would just make me do most of the work for the projects and then just wing the quizzes.” 

“I can’t get a basketball scholarship just on basketball skills alone. I need decent grades to match it.” 

“Basketball scholarship? Like, for college?” 

Billy turned back to Jess, looking slightly insulted. “Oh, so miss priss is surprised I want to go to college?” 

Jess’s eyes widened, not realizing that was the impression she gave off. If she was being honest, yes, she was surprised and did not take him for the college type, but it’s not like she wanted him to know that. “No! No, I mean, um… cool! That’s cool! What, uh, college were you thinking about playing for?” 

Billy shook his head at her awful attempt to backtrack. “I don’t know, but I want it to be somewhere in California.” Billy decided they were done talking about him and changed the subject, “So, what about you? You wanting like a cheerleading scholarship or something? If they even have those.” Billy looks back down at their shared reading, flipping the pages of the first book. Maybe a break wasn’t such a bad idea.

“Not good enough for that.” At this, Billy looks back up, not understanding this statement more than the book itself. “But… you’re gonna be captain next year?”

“No.”

“But you’re co-captain this year.”

“So is Chrissy, and if you haven’t noticed, she’s gonna get it, not me.”

“Why?”

Jess throws her head back in annoyance, not wanting to talk about the obvious. “Can we just go back to reading.” Jess begins to reach for it and Billy sucks his teeth in response. 

“God forbid I have a conversation with the princess of Hawkins High.”

“You know that’s not what they call me.” Jess doesn’t take her eyes off the pages and pretends to keep reading, acting as if what they really do call her doesn’t hurt her feelings any. She hears it often, whether it be to her face, or most commonly, whispered behind her back, and every time she did hear it she would convince herself that they were calling others worse things, that “prude” wasn’t so bad when you think about it. But that’s not what really upset her. It was the fact that she used to be friends with these people: Carol, Tommy, Nicole, Katie, even Jane, who now had a major distaste for her. Well, Steve was friends with them anyway. 

“Whatever you hear them call you, they only call you that because they want to sleep with you,” Billy stated bluntly. 

“Oh yeah, Carol definitely wants to sleep with me.”

“Not Carol, but her greasy boyfriend definitely does.” 

“Gross. And aren’t these supposed to be friends?”

“Figured I’d just be honest with you.” Billy still wasn’t looking in her direction, but rather around her room, taking in all the trophies, team flags, and other memorabilia. “You seem pretty obsessed with this cheerleading bullshit, so why aren’t you making captain?” To Jess’s dismay, Billy was obviously not dropping the discussion. 

“I’m actually not obsessed, thank you,” Jess paused before finishing her statement. She wasn’t sure if she should admit this, especially to Hargrove himself, but it wasn’t as if it was a secret she was trying to keep. It was just something she had yet to admit out loud. “I don’t even like it anymore.”

This finally made Billy look at her, an amused grin plastered on his face, “What? No fuckin way.” Jess nodded her head and simply said “yup,” popping the p to emphasize. “So little miss priss hates cheerleading… Right on. So quit.” He didn’t break eye contact after this statement, as if challenging her. 

“What? Absolutely not.”

“Why not.”

“Jesus you ask a lot of questions,” was all Jess could muster up, but the answer was simple. She had made it her whole personality. She dropped most of her AP classes, continued cheer, and continued her friendship with Steve, someone who was forced upon her thanks to the friendship between their parents, something she has been grateful for since starting freshman year, while instantaneously dropping her friendship with anyone who were considered “freaks” before high school started. Her grades were perfect, her hair kept perfect, her body she tried to keep “perfect” but her thunder thighs and belly pooch always seemed to get in the way of that, and after a year of doing ridiculous diets behind her parents’ backs, she ultimately gave up and continued to fix other parts about herself if she could. She had created herself in Hawkins’ image, and it worked for most of her time in Hawkins High, but of course, no one could be perfect, and her “perfect” image awarded her the nickname her old friends called her now. But besides that little hiccup, she was typically liked by most, and most importantly, she fit in with everyone else. After she realized Billy was still looking at her, she rolled her eyes and answered his question somewhat honestly. “I’ve been doing it for a long time and only have a year and a half left. I’m not gonna just quit now. Even if they refuse to give me a uniform that fits.” Jess mumbled the last part to herself, but not too much to herself that Billy didn’t catch part of it. 

“What? You don’t think it fits? Well, I think it fits amazing.”

“So glad you think so Hargrove, but while you’re too busy being a perve, I’m stuck in a short, pathetic excuse for a skirt because coach refuses to have ‘big girl sizes’ on the team.” The sentence came out before she could think about what she was saying, or rather, whom she was saying it to. Billy narrowed his eyes at her, but before he had a chance to say anything, Jess backtracked, “Never mind. It’s not that big of a deal. It’s just not the most comfortable is all.” 

Billy dropped his flirty demeanor and looked away from Jess finally, and said as blandly as he could, “I always thought it looked fine. Sorry it isn’t comfortable though.” He paused a moment before realizing it was time to change the subject. He picked The Iliad back up and turned the page, “Okay, so what the hell is happening here?” 

Jess jumped to answer the question, thankful Billy no longer found interest in her hobby. They stayed like this for a couple more hours, a bit longer than Jess anticipated. She ended up having to explain most of what they read to Billy and eventually found it easier to read aloud to him, explaining paragraph by paragraph until Jess heard her stomach begin to growl. She then looked over at the clock hanging above the bedroom door that read 7:46. Billy looked at the clock as well, and then back at Jess, reading the expression on her face. “What’re you doing tomorrow?” 

“Well, we only have,” Jess continued to flip through the pages until she saw “Book II” written at the top, “about 9 pages to go, I figured we could meet at noonish and finish this up. That way you’re free to do whatever… Billy Hargrove does on the weekends.” 

Billy nodded, accepting the plan, and began shrugging his leather jacket back on, flipping his hair out from underneath the collar once it was completely on. He then ducked to find himself in the mirror above Jess’s dresser and began to rearrange his hair. Jess only rolled her eyes at the vain behavior and began to open her bedroom door, waiting for Billy to be done. Jess followed him down the stairs once he was, ready to eat something, hoping her dinner wasn’t completely stone cold. 

“Hey hun, how’d you guys do?” Mrs. Logan was looking between the both of them while Mr. Logan, now finally home, was looking at Billy with confusion. 

“Who is this? And why was he in your room with the door shut?” 

“Oh, Stan…”

“Dad relax, this is…”

“Billy Hargrove, sir.” Billy reached his hand out for Mr. Logan to take, which he did, looking rather impressed as he did so. 

“We were just doing some reading for our English class, but he’s going home now.”

“I made him an extra plate if he wanted to stay for dinner by chance?” Jess shot her mom a look Billy recognized. 

“Oh no, I couldn’t. It smells delicious, really, but I should get home, but maybe next time, Mrs. Logan. Walk me out?” Billy was now looking at Jess, who nodded but only because he asked in front of her parents. They walked out of the house together, Jess instantly wishing she had her jacket on as well. “Hey, Jess?” 

“Yeah?” Jess looked up at Billy as he began to reach for his pack of cigarettes from his jacket pocket. He put one between his lips, and before lighting it, he looked back at Jess, furrowing his eyebrows, taking a moment to figure out what exactly he was trying to say. He then looked toward his house and shoved his hands back in his pockets before stating, 

“If you tell anyone you read to me, like a child, I’ll make Harrington regret it.” 

Jess shook her head at this response, and regretfully, slightly smiled at it as well. “Why Steve?” She laughed out, finding his embarrassment kind of humorous. 

“Why not Steve.” Billy stood there until Jess assured him no one would know, as long as he wasn’t a complete ass at school. Billy took what he could get and nodded, bringing back out his lighter, “See you tomorrow, Logan.” He then began to walk toward his house, and before Jess grabbed for the door handle, he yelled out, “Just come knock on my door whenever you’re ready, you know where I’m at.” And with that, Jess turned her handle and re-entered her home, ready to devour whatever her mother prepared that night. 

----

Jess awoke the next morning slightly earlier than usual for a Saturday. Jess wanted to find something from back when she was in middle school. She knew she still had it in this room somewhere and wanted to find it before she left for Billy’s. She knew better than to work on an empty stomach, however, so she hurried down to the kitchen to find the muffins she baked the morning previous in the fridge. She grabbed a blueberry muffin, along with a banana and mug of orange juice, and headed back up to her room. She set her breakfast on her dresser, but not before taking a quick bite of her pastry, and began tearing her closet apart. Her room was typically well organized, with the exception of her walk-in, which Jess described as more of a ‘step-in’, considering that’s all one would be able to do, step in and look either to the right, left, or straight ahead, and as the state of her closet was… less than ideal, one would be lucky to even step in. She threw her cheer gear on her bed and began kicking all her shoes to the side, making room for her to stand. She then began to rummage through the clutter on the top shelf. As she did, she began to realize if she cleared most of this out, she’d be able to store most of her gear and shoes that occupied the closet floor. She made a mental note that she’d “get to it later” and began bringing everything down. 

Most were shoe boxes filled with old report cards, papers, and other knick-knacks Jess forgot she even had. She eventually came across a very tattered, black box, belonging to a pair of shoes that she had no remembrance of owning. She decided to go through it, just in case what she was looking for happened to be in there. What she found instead were old character sheets, a set of transparent green dice with numbers filled in with pencil so they could be seen, which she remembered was missing a ten-sided, and a couple of figurines, which were painted, but not by her. 

She remembered the day they were painted. She was in sixth grade, sitting on the benches outside Eddie Munson’s trailer. She had messed hers up, getting colors everywhere they didn’t belong. When Eddie saw her crying, he told her to wait there and brought out an identical figure and told her he’d help her paint it if he wanted. And that’s what he did, but instead of helping, he basically painted the whole thing himself, constantly having to tuck his long hair behind his ears. She remembered that he always told her he planned on growing out his hair, wanting it longer than hers was at the time. He always said it was “totally metal”, which Jess didn’t understand at the time. And now here he was, with hair almost as long as hers now. Good for him. She smiled at the memory and wished she could sit there for the rest of the day, flipping through old campaign notes and characters that they wrote elaborate backstories for, but she knew she couldn’t, and tossed it with the rest of the boxes. 

It took a while to find the old copy of The Iliad she had for middle school, but what she was really looking for was even better, and when she finally found the shoe box filled of all the old test, quizzes, and projects she completed for her 7th-grade advanced English class, she sighed with relief, previously afraid she had either thrown it out years ago. She wasn’t stupid enough to think that Mr. Crowley would happen to use the exact same quizzes as her previous English teacher used, but she would hope it would help Billy in some way, possibly making this reading session go by much smoother. Besides, it’s not like she needed them anymore, and it was taking up so much space anyway… 

She looked at the clock above her door. 12:30 already? She had been going through her closet for 3 hours, and when she looked around her room, it showed. There were papers everywhere, shoe boxes littered the floor while her bed was occupied by cheer gear and clothes she hadn’t seen in about a year. Shit. She had told Billy they would meet around noon, and here she was with her room a complete mess. Began to throw her gear back on the floor of her closet and placed the shoe boxes back on the shelf, setting the rest of the loose papers on top of them, telling herself she’d clean it up better later. She made sure she placed the black shoe box in a special place where it wouldn’t get crushed or lost, and then she closed the door, hiding the mess from anyone who entered her now seemingly perfect room. She then quickly threw on a sweater and a pair of jeans that were ripped at the knees, grabbed the box and both books, threw them in her bag and walked out of her room. She practically skipped down the stairs that lead straight to her front door, but before she could open it she was stopped by Mr. Logan questioning her. “Where are you going in such a hurry?” 

“Oh, me and Billy need to finish the first chapter of our book before Monday. So I’m going over there. 

“You don’t need a ride?” 

“No, actually, he lives down the street from us.”

“That’s convenient. Alright well, I’ll see you when I see you. Love you kid.”

“Love you.” She began to open the front door but remembered she would be seeing Max today as well, so she decided to go back to her kitchen before she left and grab Max a muffin, knowing how much she loved them. She took one, thought about whether to grab Billy one too, then took a second one, not wanting to be rude. She was finally out the door at 1:22, a little later than she anticipated, but she was sure Billy wouldn’t notice. 

Once she arrived at the Hargrove’s front door, she shifted the second muffin to her left hand, bringing her palm closer to her chest to ensure she didn’t drop either of them, and knocked on the door with her right. When there was no answer, she decided to knock again, to which the door was quickly answered by an irritated, and shirtless, Billy. However, when he saw Jess standing there, his eyes softened a bit. “Hey, didn’t think you’d end up getting here. You’re late. Thought I was gonna have to come to you.”

“Yeah sorry, got distracted. But I got a tiny surprise for you.”

“If it’s those muffins, I hate to break it to you, but you’re normally not supposed to show the person the surprise before telling them you have a surprise.”

“Uh, no, It’s something better. One of these is actually for Max, is she here?” Jess began looking over Billy’s shoulder, thinking Max would appear at the sound of her name. 

“No, she’s at a friend’s.” Billy backed away from the door without looking away from her, “are you coming in or…?” 

“Oh, uh, yeah, I can come in.” She stepped up through the entranceway, looking around the house cautiously.  She had never been inside Max’s, or Billy’s, home before. It wasn’t like anything Jess envisioned when she pictured where they lived. They had a vibrant green fireplace and mixed-matched furniture throughout the first room. A bench with weights to either side occupied the second room straight ahead, along with a TV and a lamp. Jess deduced that Billy spent a lot of his time in the second room. A voice from the hallway to her right ripped her from her thoughts. “Was it your parents?” The girl whispered.

“Nah, but you got to go. I’ve got homework to finish up with this one.” Billy looked over at Jess and gave her a playful wink before nodding his head towards the couch, indicating that she should take a seat. And so she did, awkwardly holding both muffins in either hand as her leg bounced up and down with anticipation. A few moments later, an agitated and disheveled-looking Jane appeared at the end of the hallway. “Really? You’re ditching me for homework?” She said it as if trying to convince him he had better ways of spending his time, ways that involved her and only her. Jess quickly looked away from her, now finding the shells on the fireplace mantel very interesting. “Why don’t you just cheat off her quiz Monday? That’s what I’m doing with what’s-his-name.” 

“How about… I call you when I’m done?” Billy held his bottom lip under the top row of his teeth, slightly biting down in the process, which looked to make Jane squirm a bit. Jess instantly regretted taking her eyes away from the jar of shells for that moment, and looked away once again, trying to find anything other than the strange yet disgusting display in front of her. Apparently, the promise of a call back was enough to make Jane more than happy to leave them, but not happy enough for her to avoid giving Jess a dirty look in the process of leaving. “Don’t have too much fun.” She snorted as she eyed Jess’s clothing, rolling them when she was done. She looked back behind her and gave Billy a cutesy smile and wave before opening the front door and letting herself out. Once she did, Billy was quick to lock to door before groaning out, “Jesus, I thought you were gonna be here around noon.”

“Sorry, like I said-“

“Yeah yeah, distracted. So what’s this surprise?” Billy asked as he snatched a muffin out of Jess’s hand, “Where’d you get these?” 

“I made them,” She swiftly stood up, placed the remaining muffin on the table beside her, and rummaged through her bag, “and here, I found this stuff going through my closet. It’s some old notes and stuff, and some quizzes. And here. My old copy of The Iliad. It’s annotated so hopefully it helps you understand the book more.” 

Billy cocked his head back and furrowed his eyebrows as he did the night before, not sure what to say to this. “Shit, Logan. Uh. Thanks.” He grabbed the older of the two books and flipped through its pages, holding the muffin between his index finger and thumb and the top of the spine with what remained of his right hand. It was filled page to page with notes, color coated highlights throughout as well. “Holy shit.” He was smiling now, genuinely. Not the stupid grin he practiced in the mirrors that he presented to the girls at school, or god forbid their mothers, but actually smiling, and this made Jess smile a bit too, though she didn’t understand why. “I gotta say Jess, you are a godsend.” 

“Yeah, well, I didn’t need them anyway, and they were taking up space.” She tried to act as if she didn’t spend the last three hours tearing her room apart for them, something she didn’t understand why she did either. But it was something she did often, always going out of her way for people that maybe didn’t deserve it. Unfortunately, behind her occasional snarky attitude, she was kind to a fault, and many of her gestures were seen as a sign of weakness.  But she admired that he had aspirations outside of high school, something she wasn’t expecting out of him. And though he was definitely an ass, she didn’t believe he deserved to fail English when he seemed to be willing to put in the work to ensure otherwise. She hated to admit it to herself, and promised never to admit it to Steve, but Billy didn’t seem so bad, besides the obvious fact that he was flirting with her mom last night, something she still hasn’t been able to forget. She wasn’t wanting to befriend him outside of school or anything, she just thought that maybe working with him this coming semester wouldn’t be as miserable as she predicted, that’s all. 

“Grab the rest, my room’s this way. We could stay here till, like 4, and then we should probably take this to your place if we’re still not done.” Jess didn’t question why as she gathered the rest of the material, putting it back in her bag. Billy turned towards the hallway as he took a bite of the muffin he was still holding, but slowly turned back around to face Jess after he did so. 

“Hey Billy, where should I put this other muffin for Max? Can I just leave it in your kitchen or-“ 

“Give it here, jesus, you made these?” Jess looked down at his right hand to see that he was now already halfway done with the one she brought for him and quickly shielded the other muffin.

“No! This one’s for Max!”

“She’s not even here! It’ll go bad by the time she gets back. Damn, who taught you to bake like this?” 

Jess’s chest swelled slightly at the thought of someone else enjoying her baking. She always took pride in the things she made, and it was always nice when others appreciated it as well. “My mom did.” 

“Look at that, a woman with many talents.”

“EW,” Jess lightly smacked the side of his arm, “I told you to stop trying to get with my mother! You’re not gonna be allowed back I swear to god!”  

Billy only laughed at this, then shoved the rest of the muffin in his mouth, holding out his hand after he did so for the other one. When she still wouldn’t give it to him, he attempted one last time to convince her, “She isn’t going to be back until tomorrow.” She handed the muffin over reluctantly, telling herself she has more at the house anyway. He took a triumphant bite before leading her back to his room, letting her enter first and then closing the door behind them when they were both inside. Billy walked around the opposite side of the bed, taking a seat at the edge while polishing off the last muffin, wiping his hands together, and throwing the muffin lining on his nightstand once finished. “You gonna sit down or what?”

“Yeah, not after seeing who you just had over.” 

“We didn’t fuck if that’s what you're thinking.” Jess looked at him with disbelief, knowing there was no way they just sat around and chatted. “We just fooled around a little.”

Jess scoffs at this “Oh, okay.”

“She really doesn’t like you by the way.”

“Yeah, I got that.” Jess slowly lowered herself onto Billy’s bed, attempting to touch as little as she could. Billy laughs at her discomfort and lets out, “Oh come on, don’t be such a prude.” Only seconds later does he realize what he just said as he sees the slightly hurt expression held on Jess’s face. He plays it off like he didn’t see it and attempts to make her feel slightly more comfortable instead. “You want me to lay a blanket down then or something?” 

“No it’s ok.” She scoots closer to the middle of the bed, trying her best to feel at ease, but Billy sighs and stands up, moving over to his closet. 

“Get up.” 

“No it's fine, really.”

“Up.”

So she got up, bringing both books and papers with her so that he could lay down the sheet he just retrieved from the top of his closet. He does so delicately, making sure that every inch of the bed is covered bit it, and then climbs back on the bed. Jess does the same, mumbling “thanks” as she does. Billy then opens the annotated version excitedly, flipping the pages until he finds where they left off. His smile comes back for a moment as he sees the annotations on the side. “So how do you want to do this? Should I read out loud again?” 

“Uh yeah, for a bit anyways… if that’s not weird or anything.” 

And so, she did, stopping after each paragraph to go over the notes she had written down years ago. To Billy’s surprise, he was actually able to keep up this time, not needing to ask so many questions or stop her while she was reading, and by 2:40, they were officially finished with book I. Billy sighed in relief once he realized they were finished. “You’re not off the hook yet,” Jess then began to rummage through the shoe box full of papers until she finds the quiz for the first book.

“What made you want to keep all this?”

“No idea, but aren’t you glad I did?” She had a point, one which Billy didn’t question. “Okay, so obviously this isn’t the quiz we’re taking Monday, but maybe if we went over it and I quizzed you on some things that happened, you might be better prepared.”

“You’re the boss.” 

Jess began to ask Billy questions, some from the past quiz and some from her memory. He surprisingly did well but missed too many for Jess’s liking, so she continued to quiz him until they heard a car pull into the driveway. Billy stopped mid-sentence, his eyes going wide as he turned around, scrambling to find the watch that he set in the drawer of his nightstand. When he realized it was 4:16, panic began to set in, and he quickly got up from his spot on the bed. “Stay here.” 

As if on cue, someone called out from the living room. “BILLY.” He rushed out of his room, slamming the door as he did. 

“What.” Billy only hopes this conversation is short so he could get Jess out of there and finish studying on a good note, but it seemed Neil had other plans, already irritated at only god knows what. 

“Where’s Max?” 

“She’s at a friend’s staying the night,” Billy was now looking at Susan, hoping maybe she already knew this, and that this conversation could be over. 

“Well she never asked her mother, why would you let her go?”

“It’s the weekend dad. I didn’t see the problem, and I just thought-“

“What you thought is that you could make decisions for Susan. I didn’t realize you were the parent.”

“You already treat me like I am.” Billy mumbled. Unfortunately, it wasn’t silent enough and caught Neil’s attention.

“What was that?”

At this, Susan started to step in, trying to reassure Neil that it was all right and that she would have let Maxine go anyways, but like every response tonight, that just wasn’t good enough for him. “You let that girl walk all over you! She should be asking you before running off. And you. Next time you decide-“ 

To Billy’s horror, he hears a familiar voice interrupt his father’s, causing him to whip around. 

“Um, hi, I’m sorry to interrupt.” Billy was now looking at Jess, a mixture of fear and anger fighting for dominance over his features. Neil was also looking at her as if to say she had ten seconds to explain why she was in his house alone with his son. “We were just studying for our English quiz we have on Monday.” She then held up her copy as proof, smiling sheepishly. “We were actually going to continue back at my house. It’s just down the road… if that’s okay?”

“Is that right?” Neil dropped the look that was giving Jess chills down her spine and replaced it with a smile, which only slightly eased the tension in the room. “Well, that’s good. I’m always telling Billy, respect, and responsibility. It’s nice to see him finally take an interest in his grades.” He then looked back over at his son, who returned only a half-smile, dropping it as quickly as it appeared on his face. 

“We’ll just go get our stuff then.” Billy then puts his hand in between Jess’s shoulder blades, practically pushing her down the hall and into his room before softly shutting the door behind him. “What the fuck did I say.”

“I’m sorry, I-“

“I told you to stay in the room, god dammit.” Billy led Jess to believe that he was angry, but he was mostly relieved. Relieved that she didn’t witness him being smacked around by his old man. Relieved that the conversation was finally over. Relieved that he was leaving with nothing more than a bruised ego. 

“Billy, I’m so-“

“Let’s just get out of here, please.” She nodded at this, making it a point to back her bag as quickly as possible and waited for Billy to do the same before heading out of the room with him. Luckily, Neil and Susan were no longer in the front room, and Billy took the chance to nudge Jess out of the house as fast as he could, shut the door, and walk toward his car, keys in hand. 

“Billy, don’t waste the gas, let’s just walk.”

“I’m hungry.”

“Oh, um, okay,” Jess looked back at her house, getting ready to walk back herself. “Do you just want meet up back at my house when you’re done then?”

“Get in the car.”

She did as she was told, fighting the urge to push back as it was obvious he wasn’t in the mood. Billy jumped in the car after her, turning the key in the ignition, throwing his stick in reverse, and screeching out the driveway, barely closing his door in time as he did so. He then began to speed passed the houses on their shared street. They drove like this for about five minutes, the minutes seeming like hours to Jess. Finally, Billy broke their silence. 

“What sounds good?” 

“What?”

“To eat.”

“Oh, I … I didn’t bring any money.” Jess felt a hint of embarrassment peak through, realizing that he would have to bring her back home after he had been driving for what seemed like forever. 

“That’s not what I asked.” Billy kept his eyes forward, though Jess wasn’t sure as to whether he was actually watching the road or not.

“I, anything, it doesn’t matter.”

A sigh escapes Billy’s mouth. “Where do you normally go?”

“Honestly anywhere, I’m not picky.”

“Jess.”

“We already passed it.” 

“What? Big Al’s?” 

“Yeah, but there’s KFC coming up if you want to get something quick, or there’s-“ Billy had already begun to turn around, making an illegal U-turn in the process, and started to drive in the direction of Big Al’s. He lit a cigarette as he drove, and Jess didn’t fight him this time, understanding he may have needed it. He just then realized how silent their drive was and flipped on his stereo. “Looks That Kill” was halfway through playing. Billy got ready to reach for the dial, but Jess beat him to it with an excited “Ooh!” and turned the music up slightly. 

“I didn’t take you for someone who liked Mötley Crüe.” Billy made it a point to blow the smoke out the window as he said this. 

Jess shrugged. “Well, when you hear it all the time you start to like it.” When they got to the diner, Billy turned off the engine but continued to sit in the driver’s seat, looking down at his lap, occasionally taking a drag. “Logan?” 

“Yeah?” Jess was also looking at her lap, not being able to find the courage to look up at him as they spoke. 

“Could you maybe… not tell anyone about today? You know, with the whole Neil thing.” 

“Or you’ll make Steve regret it?” She giggled after her question, still looking down at her lap, but hoping she was able to lighten the mood a little. She realized she did so successfully as he too began to chuckle. His gaze left his lap and shifted toward the entrance of the diner, then onto her. “Everyone’s dads are assholes once in a while. It’s like, in their genetic makeup or something. Don’t worry about it.” 

Billy just nodded at this, wishing he could explain how much different he was from all the other dads out there. Or maybe he wasn’t much different, Billy never knew. He never experienced what other fathers had to offer their children. He only ever experienced the yelling, the fighting, the walking on eggshells. Maybe Stan Logan was the same way, and Jess endured the same, covering bruises with long sweaters and makeup, or overexaggerating fake injuries from cheerleading. There was no way. She was too kind for that. She looked too comfortable at home for that. She didn’t feel the need to keep track of when her father came home. Didn’t hold fear in her eyes when her father questioned her about the company she had over. No. Stan Logan made his daughter feel safe, while Neil Hargrove made his son feel the way he did. “Right… You ready to head in, princess?” 

[blueflyingturtleontheway]

Not a native spanish speaker but more or less familiar with ustedeo so here goes:

In Spain the rules are very similar to Polish (you use it very sparingly, mainly with elderly or very self-important people). And it's used even less in the Caribbean. In Argentina you'll also rarely come across it, it's all voseo.

In México, I've heard you generally use it for any stranger who's visibly older than you (or past their late 20s), anyone in a service staff position, and such. Very close to Czech/Slovak "vy". This is the least clear one to me though, so I take corrections.

From Colombia to CR it's more or less all you use (even the Metástasis version of Jesse Pinkman only used ustedeo), actual formal speech is made by addressing someone as Señor*a or Don*ña

Central America basically forms a continuum from CR rules to MX rules, except some areas also use voseo

It's a lot of regional variation, especially in LATAM, but you'll get the hang of it

Thank you for reaching out! And yeah, I know it varies greatly from country to country, thanks for writing them all out.

The thing is, I'm not sure what your experience with Polish is, but the pan/i form is used very often, in places like the higher education, most workplaces, most public spaces/posts and once you're like, above 30 or something it becomes the default way to talk to strangers, and that's just the examples from the top of my head.

I'm also not sure when to use the Señor/a / Don/ña forms and if I'd just use it at the beginning and then continue to use usted? Or use it instead of usted but combined with the third person? Is it possible to combine them with tu/vosotros?

So yeah, I suppose I'm asking both about the cultural situations you'd use it in and how that would work in a sentence.

But still, thank you! And if you'd want to tell me more, or anyone else I'll gladly listen :]

[mollywilcoxvo]

So, my RCCC experience today was waiting in line for a Taliesin Jaffe  autograph, and meeting a couple of interesting and kind humans waiting in line with me. When it came my turn, I wasn't sure what he'd say about it.

There's a lot of Critical Role characters wandering the con regularly, because they're just sort of... Well... There. They've kind of dominated the D&D scene. Not that this is a bad thing, it just is.

And here I am, in a Vampire character Cosplay of Carver from LA By Night - an anarch vampire who chose to turn a human rather than watch her die, not out of altruism, but because he knew she was capable of being someone who could potentially change the political world of Darkness. Not quite evil, but definitely not great.

So, I walk up, and he is still sort of getting his bearings from being photographed to all hell, and now in the autograph/selfie line... And he looks up and *really* gets a good look at me...

Taliesin (about my Carver Cosplay): Oh boy, oh man. OK, THAT'S cool. The hair...

Me: Yeah. He's honestly my favorite of your characters. And I got the necklace this morning to finish it off.

T: You - you know the meaning of the necklace, yes?

Me: Oh yes, yes indeed.

T: Cool, cool. Oh man that's... Wow.

Me: Oh, wait... Hold on... (I turn to show him the back of the jacket)

T: Holy. Wow, OK, yeah.

Me: yeah. I had to paint the back off season 4, because it was too perfect.

T: Man I loved That character. Dude, that. Yeah, wow. He was evil, I miss him...

Me: Thank you for everything you've done. It's weird, we actually have family history. My great uncle was George Heyes, who was a director/producer in Hollywood, and supposedly worked with George Axelrod at one point)

T: (scribbles down my gran-uncle's name, checking the spelling) Woah. OK. That is weird - I'm definitely going to look that information up. That's cool.

Me: Yeah it was that, and you, were part of my inspiration to go into voice acting.

T: Oh wow. Well, welcome - it's a weird gig. *chuckle*

It's interesting, because as much as he was gracious, and kind, thoughtful and lovely, I definitely appreciated the fact that  I wasn't even remotely in the same league as he and Anjali Bhimani.

A friend asked if Taliesin and I were going to hang out after and talk shop, and I had to laugh at the thought. I mean, sure, who wouldn't love to. But... I mean, if I had at least a couple of years in VO, I *might* ask if he was free to chat at some point to give me pointers... But I haven't even landed a single job.

I've only just barely scraped the surface of VO, and only had one voice teacher - Sonny Strait. And him telling me in a class that I had talent and he wanted me down in Dallas to record, isn't the same as actually getting a job.

Because of the panini, and a lack of funds, I couldn't go to Dallas and stake out Funimation and/or follow Sonny Strait around til he hired me as a background extra. So, I've had to go a different route as a storyteller. And, we don't have even a moderate following. I mean, it's not horrible, but it's definitely not up to CR or even By Night standards. We're just a little homegrown thing.

Being clear here - there is nothing wrong with being what we are. I'm incredibly proud of the work we've done, and the following we have - but it doesn't mean we have the chops of asking to hang with the big dogs.

And yes, I put people like Erika Iishi, Jesse Jerdak, Ginny D, and KP in that lineup as well. As much as I've appreciated the lovely and kind interactions I've had with them, they are well and beyond where I am in all of this. And that's OK. They've worked hard to earn where they are, and they've kept working every day for what they love to do.

I hope that if I end up getting to that level, I am able to remember that being kind is a free action, and is appreciated everywhere.

[caxxxe]

I’m drunk, I like you. 

— So it’s real. Elyu vibes.  Sa Elyu nagsimula — sa Elyu.. ay, hanggang Elyu lang pala.

It feels like we are reenacting what the movie scenes are. The confession. The days in Elyu. The days after Elyu. (Hindi nga lang mag best friend hehe)

To begin with, 

I’m hiding my feelings. I’m just admiring him secretly without anyone knowing. Wala naman talagang nakakaalam kung hindi sarili ko lang. It’s just simply “paghanga”. When I first saw him in Batangas, shet totoo yung nagustuhan ko siya slight dahil sa buhok niya na purple ata or gray na ewan and may itsura pala to kasi once ko lang ata to nakita sa Bro’s tapos nag hi ata? may kasama sya basta yun tapos alam ko pinag-usapan nyo ko na siguro kapatid ni jobee ganern. Going back to Batangas scene, it feels like slow motion when I saw him at the car window pa lang and fudge I still remember that. Pocha. 2 years ko syang inadmire palihim from the stories that he is posting, to the aesthetic feed he has. I don’t really like him that much kasi hanggang “admire” lang. Maybe I’m just attracted on his cleanliness, his style, humor or so whatever basta not that deep.

—

Excited ako bhie sa Elyu. Kasi Elyu yun eh, I will finally taste the bagnet, the El union coffee, see the sunset and experience the night life. And of course because of the movie. I’m not expecting any “love” or jowang jowa that time kasi nga strong independent woman ang lola mo. I am not looking for any flings or any thing basta ang gusto ko lang mawala yung stress ko from work and makasama sila. It was nice kasi parang kung ano yung dati sa Batangas, ganon rin naman. Sarap ng kwentuhan habang papuntang Elyu, mga biruan nila. Masaya. Sobrang saya. It was just a beautiful barkada moment.

The Inuman — Tavern. I never expect him na tabihan niya ko kasi hindi naman niya ko tinatabihan. Akala ko pa nga si Lordjie tatabi sakin BUT no, tumabi siya and so yon. Pinapalipat ka ni ate jessie para si Lordjie kata i ko pero di ka naman nakinig hehe. So, okay yung flow. Masaya. Typical inuman session with kantahan. The laughs. The entertainers na sobrang kalog. The alcohol through our esophagus. Normal inuman with bangers sound. We were in vibes kasi sobrang saya lang. We just clicked kasi ang sarap sumayaw nung time na yon. And in just a few moments, ate jess started saying, “bagay kayo, bagay sila bes” telling ditse. AND THATS WHEN I FELT THE STOP MOMENT. NAPATIGIL AKO KASI HALA SHET? WALA TO SA PLANO. Actually I felt like nanlamig ako kahit na sobrang init. HINDI KO TO INEXPECT. ANONG MERON? BAKIT NILA NAPANSIN NA MAY SOMETHING, NA BAGAY KAMI. Hindi to yung inaasahan kong marinig. Bakit may ganito? I JUST SMILED na lang AND KILIG patago. Kasi diba pocha, I was just admiring him from a far. I was just secretly having a little crush on him TAPOS eto? Ganon yung nangyari. I just couldn’t talk and answer when asking me kung gusto ko din ba siya kasi kinikilig ako. And same as him, bakit hindi sya sumasagot? 

I am so kilig but ofc i need to hide my feelings para kunwari wala lang, kunwari hindi ko siya gusto. Natatandaan ko pa na inalalayan niya ako kasi nag cr ako mag- isa, shez the moments. ETO YUNG MEMORABLE!! The holding hands while he is driving. I really want to experience that and shet thank you kasi pina experience niya sakin even just for a night. I still feel his hand on my hand char haha. The slow driving just to get us safe going home. I still remember and I will forever. ‘Front’ seat secret we won’t ever tell. Kaya ko gusto yung XXL eh!!! 

—

THE CONFESSION. I never expect na magkakagusto siya sakin. Him admitting “nahumaling” sakin since shs was so unexpected. Hindi ko kasi inexpect na magkakaroon siya ng gusto sakin kasi I feel na mataas standard niya sa babae. I’m not downing my self pero kasi parang iba magiging type niya. And also, I thought he’s in a relationship ever since Batangas or in years kasi siya yung tipo ng guy na parang malandi. Anyway, that confession was so real. I am real. My feelings are real. Lasing ako pero alam ko mga sinasabi ko kasi totoo yon eh. That’s how I feel to him. Hindi ko pinagsisisihan na umamin ako. 

Suddenly after the confession, naging awkward lahat. I saw his awkwardness. But at the same time I saw his actions toward me. Yung pinapauna niya kong maglakad… dati hindi niya yon ginagawa. Yung sinasabayan akong maglakad.. di nya din ginagawa sakin yon dati and even the paglilipat ng pwesto sa kalsada para hindi ako don sa part ng daanan ng sasakyan. I really appreciate that little things he did for me. We didn’t have that conversation together after that night kasi I am shy and siya din. Ramdam ko yung hiyaan moments namin. Sitting beside him pauwi and being his passenger princess was so memorableeee uaaaahhh. I really wanted to sing passenger seat while I am the passenger princess kasi sa FX ko lang siya na experience. AND HIM SINGING IT!!! The lines!!!! AND IVE GOT ALL I NEED RIGHT HERE IN MY PASSENGER SEAT!!! Naririnig ko yon HOYYY! 

— The last moments. OUR SKIN-SHIP AT ITS FINEST!!! BAT ANG LAPIT KASI!!! Kulang na lang maghawakan kami ng kamay. Pero for real, gusto ko sa likod kami umupo kaso nahihilo talaga ako kaya sa gitna na lang. Noong paalis na siya bhie, I want to hug him as if aalis na talaga siya kasi I just wanted to say thank you. Kaso nahiya ako saka andon sila ditse eh. I thought mageenjoy ako sa Elyu because of bagnet, the coffee, the vibes, the sunset, the beach, and the night life pero mas naenjoy ko ang Elyu dahil sakanya. 

— After the Elyu. Nasepanx ako sa feels. Pero thank God he started the conversation and yet, he ended it by seen zoned me. We just talked for a week and I don’t know what happen. Sadt diba. Story short. It was nice having conversation with him kasi may mga narealize din akong bagay bagay. His very matured enough to handle life and the way he leads the conversation and assured me. Naka help din naman siya about decisions ko sa buhay. I’m actually not mad or had any bad feelings about him, I just expect kasi na something will get deeper BUT I have to stop this feeling falling for him para hindi na mas maging deeper pa kaya nga I’m writing this letter for the last time. You not liking my mirror selfie story is a sign na I need to stop waiting for you. I need to stop this kind of delulu moments. Maybe when the time is right, someday kapag pwede pa, pwede na. Ayoko lang madaliin lahat kasi I still have my goals and dreams sa life ko. Same as him. He’s very eager to get that wants and dreams. I respect that. Ang sarap lang ulit maexperience kiligin parang bumabalik yung pagka high school ko kaso nakakatamad don sa getting to know each other stage ulit gggrrr. But I am matured enough na kapag nag stop yung conversation and hang me as seen, stop na yun. I will not ask someone to give me attention kasi I know my worth. I know na my worth, if people don’t appreciate my present I will also not entertain him. But I am open for the possibility. I’m still open for all the possible scenarios. I still have this thought na maybe after 1 year, pag umuwi ka, wala ka pa ring lovelife tapos ako wala pa rin… we’re both single, baka pwede. Ganern na thoughts. Real love can wait naman, no matter what any circumstances are, if thats really love. I’m just happy being single na nagagawa ko lahat ng hindi ko nagawa nung walang wala ako. The time when I’m in the dark because of wrong love and I don’t want to drown my self to that situation again, I lost myself because of loving wrong people. Hindi ko hahayaang matalo ulit dahil sa pag-ibig. Now, I don’t want to go back to my past because I love myself more. 

— 

Gagraduate din ako. Tulad ni Carson, pipilitin kong makatapos sayo, gaano man katagal, kahit umabot man ng 7 years, makakagraduate ako. At masasabi ko ring, hindi mo naman kasalanan kung hindi mo ko gustong ipursue. 

Pakak. Elyu vibes are real. Kakanood ko at kaka ulit ko ng IDILY, ayan, naging carson ako. 

April 30, 2024 11:27 PM

[ludinus-is-a-bitch]

first episode and keyleth+percy siblings is already evident.

"we're making comment cards!"

[candelasobscuras]

i know I am so late, but holy shit holy shit holy shit I’m sitting in lab still just reeling over just the PART of ExU:Calamity’s first episode I’ve seen so far. How am I going to do anything while I watch this. Not gonna ponder how I’ll do anything after.

[villaneve]

my sister and i just finished watching the episode of critical role where its revealed vex and percy eloped over the one year break, and we have made it over 100 episodes without having any kind of real issue with ANY event/character choice that’s happened on the show, but wow we just spent like an hour ranting about how much this decision annoyed us

[quasieli]

I dove headfirst into listening to All Work No Play cause I can never get enough of the O'Brien-Riegel friendship and in episode 2, they starting talking about "the DND" and how Matt invited them over for their first game! They started bantering about the characters they wanted to make and how basically Liam choose Scanlan's race and class and it just makes me really happy to hear it. They joked about having -15 listeners (mind you, this is 2012), and it's crazy to think how much has changed since then. Also, just AWNP is fucking hysterical and Sam and Liam just have the greatest comedic rapport.

[cuntstable]

this ep of critical role has been the biggest ”gay rights!!” episode so far