#jesse has such an egg like head

[saturn-sends-hugs]

realized i haven’t posted art in a hot sec so here ya go!!

jesse is not having a good time (echo on the other hand bkshsksjsk)

based on the extension to this post by @thebispaceace lol

[jflemings]

would you minds sharing any random jessie relationship headcanons you have? you write about it so well in your fics pls let us into your brain lol

— my oddly specific gf!jessie headcanons

pairing: jessie fleming x reader

warnings: nsfw & saw

a/n: got this ask and kept it in the drafts so i could just keep adding to it when a thought popped into my head :)

if any of my headcanons inspire fics please please please tag me!!! i’d love to see your take on them <3

- took soooooooo long to ask you out because she kept psyching herself out

- spoke with such confidence that it was honestly a shock to you when she told you she was nervous

- talked about you all the time to her friends and family before they ever actually met you

- introduces you to her sister before the rest of her family (mainly bc elysse begged to meet you)

– she has tiktok only so you can send her videos and you’re the only one she follows

– she takes soooo many photos of you

loves taking embarrassing ones just so she can laugh at them later

– sleeps on the side of the bed closest to the door

– is an absolute pain in the ass to go furniture shopping w because she reads everything on the label

– early bird

– not super big on pda but insists on holding your hand everywhere you go

– she doesn’t really celebrate her goals but if she knows you’re in the crowd she’ll point to wherever you’re sitting and blow you a kiss

– if you get married she gets your first initial tattooed on her inner left bicep closest to her heart

– easily embarrassed by compliments

– likes to read her book with your head in her lap

– makes the best bacon and eggs, i don’t make the rules

– if you drink coffee you can bet your ass she memorised your order the first time y’all went out for coffee

– super clingy in the mornings

– makes a playlist of songs that reminds her of you/your relationship

– very attentive gift giver, will take note of even the smallest things you say you like for future reference

– if you’re a reader she’s got your tbr in her notes app so that if she sees a book you’ve been meaning to read she can just get it for you

– likes to give and receive flowers

– a rambler, she’ll talk your ear off if she gets talking about something she really enjoys

that includes you, she talks about you to her teammates all the time

– secret avid pet name user

babe, baby, my girl, sunshine, ALL OF THEM

- blanket hog

- the two of you make a pact to learn something new by the end of the year and she chooses to learn how to play the fucking harmonica

- she gets rlly good at it tho

- picks out your outfit for game days

- loves having baths with you

doesn’t get to do it often but when she does she goes all out: bath bomb/bath salts, candles, her kindle. the whole lot

- talks during movies if she doesn’t know what’s going on

“why’d he do that” “jess i don’t know, we’re watching the same movie”

- not a big tv series watcher but will sit with you while you watch it

- loves her documentaries though

- does a really good david attenborough impression

- is ridiculously competitive when it comes to monopoly and twister

- which is funny because she’s shit at twister

- likes to be close to you at all times

if the whole couch is free she’ll still sit next to you, thigh to thigh

- doesn’t like to argue but will if she feels strongly enough about it

- she can honestly be kinda condescending in arguments without even realising it

definitely comes from her role as a leader

- she asks you multiple times through the day what you’re thinking about just because she likes to know what’s going on inside you head

- likes to do normal, everyday things with you like chores. honestly doesn’t even care that she has to vacuum the whole house, she just likes that fact that the two of you are cleaning together

- as clingy as she is she also really likes her alone time and will often take herself to a corner of the house to just mellow out, especially if she’s been around people a lot that day

- she’ll always come and find you with a smile on her face when she’s ready to though

- loves to update you on her day when she’s away. she’s been known to send you photos of anything and everything when she’s with team canada

- likes to get you lil something from every city she visits if she can

- you display all the trinkets she gets you on a shelf

- when you first started dating she’d write you letters as a way to express her emotions because she didn’t feel like she could properly communicate them directly to you

she gives them all to you on your wedding day

- she’s just so so so so in love with you

NSFW

– generally soft during sex unless she’s high off a win, pissed off or been away from you for too long

– is a switch lol

– gets pleasure from you being pleasured, she’d eat you out for hours if you let her because she likes knowing that she can get you off

- also a biiiiiiiiiiiiig fan of using a strap, absolutely loves the way you look when she bottoms out

- is surprisingly vocal in bed

- has a massive praise kink it’s literally insane

- she came untouched once bc she was fucking you w her strap and you were telling her how good she was doing

- likes when you scratch down her back but can’t let you do it often bc of the shared change room

- once went to training with a scratched up back and sam never let her live it down

- isn’t super experienced but she is observant so she figures out what you like really early on

- made it her personal mission to fuck you on every surface of your new place when the two of you moved to portland

- is a big fan of morning sex

- not a big fan of shower sex

- also is a fan of make up sex

- tries to give you as many orgasms as physically possible in one round (four is her record) (she intends to beat it)

- aftercare queen

- is pretty firm with what she does and doesn’t like and isn’t usually one to go out of her comfort zone unless the two of you have discussed it before

- refuses to hit you during sex. she’s just not comfortable with it

- doesn’t really like choking either but she does like having her hand on the base of your neck without applying any pressure

also goes absolutely feral when you do it to her

- definitely prefers to have sex in the comfort of your own home

- the two of you got caught by niamh once because jess was too loud as you ate her out

neither of you could look her in the eye for about a week afterwards and jessie endured so much teasing

- isn’t one to have drunk sex but she does like just having her hands under your bra so she can cup your breasts. she doesn’t know why, it just happens when the two of you are going to bed after a night out

- is the biggest tease in the world

- will rile you up and then pretend she has no idea what she’s doing

- has insane stamina and will go for rounds until she physically can’t

- can get really cocky during sex, especially when she knows you’re about to cum

- if she’s had a really shit day/week she likes to be overstimulated just to get all of her negative emotions out

[blackberryblossom]

dating jesse pinkman hcs 🍃

warnings: nsfw (reader is gender neutral)

sfw

i don’t even really know where to start

jesse is the sweetest, softest guy ever and nothing anyone says will convince me otherwise

he’s just so obsessed with you-

cannot go a day- no, an hour without telling you he loves you

you'll be eating breakfast (eggs, that he made) and he'll reach across the countertop, grabbing your hand, looking up at you with those beautiful blue eyes, kissing a soft "i love you" into each fingertip 😭😭

you'll blush and look away, and he'll smirk, squeezing your hand and taking a sip of his orange juice

he wakes up really early sometimes, for no particular reason

on those mornings, he’ll simply lay back and listen to your soft breathing and the sound of birds chirping prettily outside, watching the slow rise and fall of your chest, waiting for you to wake- and when you finally do, he’ll roll over on top of you, tickling your sides, peppering your beautiful, beautiful face in a thousand kisses, whispering sweet nothings and quiet “i love you’s” in your ear

big on quality time and physical touch

he doesn’t have much in his shitty little house, but he has a tv, and he has you and sometimes when he wakes in the middle of the night, he’ll turn the tv on and pull you closer to him, your soft, slow breathing and the drone of the tv lulling him back into a deep, peaceful sleep

he loves holding your hand- in the car, when you’re watching tv, cuddling, eating, walking somewhere, at the store.. etc

loves it when you lay your head in his lap, closing your pretty eyes and letting him run his hands through your hair and stroke your face and trace his finger along your jaw

loves kissing you- your jaw, hand, knuckles and fingers, shoulders, collarbone, mouth.. you name it

i feel like he draws

he’ll make little doodles and he’ll draw the things around him- the orange on the countertop, a leaf he found on the ground, a lighter he found in his pocket

you’re his favorite subject though 🥰🥰 he’s got so many drawings of you- probably enough to fill several sketchbooks

there’s ones of you cooking, lying in bed, smoking on the porch, fresh out of the shower in just your towel..

his line of work is dangerous, and jesse does his best to protect you from it all

he gives you little gifts all the time- bracelets or necklaces he made himself, gum he bought while out grocery shopping, a pair of shoes or something he saw at a thrift shop, some sort of trinket he’d nicked from walter’s car/coat pocket..

big on flowers too- he’ll pull over anywhere to pick flowers for you if he saw some he liked

basically he’s just the sweetest<3

nsfw

switch with a sub preference

the kinda guy to get pleasure just from going down on his partner

will always finish last if he can help it

leaves hickies all over your body, carefully avoiding obvious or visible places- ie. your neck, shoulders..

doesn’t strike me as the kinda guy with a huge dick tbh but he definitely knows how to use it ;)

there’s always foreplay, even if it’s a quick fingering or make out sesh

he’ll insist on undressing you each and every time, but it’s never awkward; he’s kneeling in front of you, holding your hips while looking up at you, kissing down your body and mumbling loving compliments

aftercare >>

he’ll clean you up, get you some water, help you up if need be- grabbing at your waist, laughing breathlessly as you lean against him..

[yanderemommabean]

Southern yandere being raised on those good morals and Christian values until they meet reader. Being the apple of the towns eye and everyone’s favorite golden boy turned into a savage mess when anyone dares to mess with his darling! Perverted once he see’s reader in revealing clothes for the summer (to beat that southern heat!). Suddenly he has to pray more often since only not so sacred thoughts come to mind when he thinks of you (which is ALL the time). The polite manners being CRANKED UP when they are in ur vicinity. The oh so bold flirting! BEING COURTED by the most desired guy in TOWN. And no one would help u girl, u think THE (his name) would bother stalking YOU? How pretentious. Knows how to court a lady but if you keep on playing hard to get he’ll just have to show you he’s the BEST and ONLY option for you.

“Well hello there August!” You say with a sweet smile, fanning yourself by tugging at your shirt as sweat seeps into the fabric. “What brings you by? Needing more chicken eggs?” you ask, used to the man asking for one or more things he could buy from you or help you out with. Always so courteous and gentlemen like, even when you insist he doesn’t have to be. 

It’s sweet, you’ll admit. He’s been trying his best to be sweet and kind to you, even the town is beginning to think you’re all he worries about anymore. His duties often get neglected when you’re on his mind, which seems to be every hour of the day. 

“No, no, I was just comin by to see why you’re working in heat like this. You could get killed if you aint careful y’know? Jesse nearly had a heat stroke a few days ago ‘cause he thought he could handle the stables all by himself” 

You snort, dusting your hands off on your jeans “Well, I ain’t Jesse. Jesse needs to learn a thing or two about asking for help when he needs it too, I learned that lesson the hard way”. August laughs at that, tipping his hat as he does so. “Yeah, boy aint the brightest. I’ll give you that. You wouldn’t mind taking a break for sweet tea or anything would ya? I’d love to waste your time for a bit”. 

Nodding, you begin to walk into your house, heading to the sink to wash your hands from the dirt and muck covering them from the chores. “I’ll make ya a glass in just a sec, let me get a bit cleaned up. You get your things done today? Pastor told me to yell at you a bit if you lagged behind one more time. Think he meant it too, ‘is face was redder than hell”. 

August comes up from behind, wrapping his arms around you as you stand at the sink. Your face dusts pink as he lays his head on your shoulder, his breath right on your ear as he gruffly says “Don’t worry about what he says. I know what I’m doing, and how I’m gonna do it. Anyone gives you more trouble you come to me alright?” 

The sudden playful mood felt more tense, his arms squeezing you tight against him as your voice struggled to come out. “You’re like a hen, I swear. I'm not some dainty little belle, I can tell a pastor off if I need to. Now sit down, I’ll make you a glass”. 

You two sit and chat for a while, August giving you stares that you couldn’t quite read from time to time as you mention how your life here was going. He was a real sweetheart, a man of manners and good values, it’s no wonder the whole town loves him. But there's something there, stirring and growing, you just don’t know it yet. 

It’s a dark, unleashed beast of a thing for sure. 

-------------

Six months have passed since you’ve moved down here, and the winter seems awfully brutal. Your house is refusing to stay warm lately, and as much as you hate to admit it, you’re terrible with a wood cutting axe. Never could get the aim right. 

As if on cue, the towns most beloved bachelor comes driving into your yard in his truck, practically leaping out as he runs to you with a worried and dare you say frustrated appearance. “What on earth has gotten into you? Put me down!” you hollered, being lifted up over his shoulder with ease as he carries you inside without so much as a hello. 

“Me? What’s gotten into you? It’s below freezing and you’re out there trying to cut wet wood that won’t burn! You’re gonna get frost bite, and momma won’t let me hear the end of it if I let you get hurt!” 

“For your information I was doing just fine!” you scold, being dropped down gently onto your couch as he stands over you, arms crossed over his chest. “...I ain’t moving until you promise me you won’t go back out there in weather like this” 

“Unfair game to me. Seeing as alls I gotta do is tickle you in the right spot to get you out of my way” 

“Dangerous game to play to me, seeing as your touch would do a bit more than tickle me” he says with a seductive tint to his voice, his face coming down to meet yours as you become more flustered “A touch from a sexy thing like you, wouldn’t make me move out of the way. It’d make me pick you up and show you how I wanna touch you too” 

You both stay there for a minute, your eyes becoming playful and your tone more flirty as you lean closer, daring to kiss his lips. “Hmm. And what would your momma think if something happened before marriage?” 

“Who says I can’t make you say my name without breaking that rule?” 

“Oh now you’re just being a mean old flirt. Is this your way of warming me up? Cause as much as I like it, I do need to get work done” 

August doesn’t budge. If anything, he seems determined to tower over you like this, keeping you in place. “I think you’d be better off at my house for a few days. Especially since the holidays are coming up and the weather is only gonna get worse” he says as if he didn’t just act like he would go a few rounds in the bedroom with you. 

“We’ve talked about this-” 

“I know. You’re worried about the animals and such. Never said I wouldn’t let you come by to do your stuff, I just think you need a place with actual heat since this place is clearly in need of more repair than we thought. It ain’t gotta be a month or nothing, just til we get it fixed” 

You worry your lip, unsure and not exactly comfortable with just staying a few nights at his house. “The town will think we’re being a bit-” 

“The town also thinks aunt Susie's pie is the best, but they ain’t right in that regard either” he cuts you off, taking your cold hand and kissing your fingertips softly “I won’t do nothing, I promise. I’ll even let the church and every gossiper in town have a piece of my mind if they start making you upset. Just please, let me keep you warm. It’ll break my heart if I know you’re suffering like this any longer” 

His eyes are so sweet as they plead, and how he holds and warms your hands makes this deal all the more enticing. What can you say? You really have no other choice, and you’re so lucky to have him here for you like this. “A-alright, August. Just until we figure out why my heat aint working. No more than that” 

Oh, just knowing you’d come willingly at all is more than he could’ve asked for. He hates having to force his hand in these situations, but it’s needed! That’s why he had to ruin your heating system, to show you that he’d be the better option in the long run and he could get you out of that shithole house faster. 

But he won’t tell his little secret. The plan is to get you in his home, then in his bed, and in his arms. Town can think whatever they want, but no one would suspect him of sabotage and stalking. He plays his role very well, knows how to manipulate anyone who tries and ruin his chance with you. If they push too hard for you to leave, he might just stage another accident or two. 

Whatever it takes to keep you with him and him only. 

((HI! I hope this didn’t go too off the rails, I really enjoyed it! I hope you did too! -Mommabean))

[questforgalas]

Code Red Training

···

GIF by mlmanakin

Summary: Kix has to give a training on the menstrual cycle to the 501st. It goes exactly how you think it would

Characters: 501st legion (Jesse, Fives, Rex, Kix, Echo, Dogma, Appo, and made up clone names), Ahsoka Tano

WC: 2.4K

Notes: This is based off another silly HC I posted the other day I couldn't get out of my head. I think the idea of the engineered clones raised surrounded by men learning about the menstrual cycle is a hilarious concept. Very silly stuff. The boys are in awe of their commander after

Tags: descriptions of the menstrual cycle and what occurs. Swearing

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Kix was running out of tasks to keep his hands busy. The informational flimsies were on the fourth variation of stacking, and he’d rearranged the educational sculptures in every possible space on the desk. He wasn’t nervous. He just could make a list of 1000 other duties he’d rather be doing than, well, this.

Kix had the 41st Elite Corps to thank for this one. The poor padawan commander of the 41st apparently wasn’t prepared for her cycle, and while she was trying to retreat to her quarters to remedy the situation, she was caught with a noticeable blood stain that, understandably, caused her troopers to go into a panic. Chaos ensued as an entire corps sprang into action to save their commander who, to their knowledge, was bleeding to death for no reason.  

There’s no official report on the matter, but the message from Insi, the medic of the 41st, simply said “The troopers involved won’t be looking Commander Offee in the eye anytime soon”.

So now, all battalions led by a female general or commander had to sit through educational training on the menstrual cycle.

A 3-D model of the uterus taunted him from across the desk.

“Gotta say, don’t exactly envy you with this one, Kix,” Captain Rex’s voice interrupted Kix’s internal battle to cancel the next session and run, but instead, he turned to face his Captain, standing at attention and offering a short salute.

“You envy everything else I get to deal with, sir?” The medic offered a sly smirk as Rex put him at ease.

“You got me there,” Rex chuckled. “Although, last I remember, it wasn’t too long ago you’d be right next to Fives and Jesse when I’d be threatening another ‘fresher duty to ward off any antics.”

Kix brought a hand to his chest, feigning hurt, “Me, sir? Antics? I’d never.”

“Just because you knew how to hide the evidence better doesn’t mean you were more innocent.” A playful shove on his shoulder broke his performance.

“It’s called a medic’s attention to detail, sir.”

Rex offered a hum in response, the fond smile on his lips softening the threat of his eye roll, and he continued to make his way across the room to the chair set up in the back corner. As the commanding officer, Rex had to give his approval on the training which meant Kix already took him through the session – The captain remained professional the entire session, but the increasing crimson of his cheeks didn’t go unnoticed – so his presence here now only meant one thing.

Rex knew who was on the roster, and he was here for a show.

“You think you’re being sly Captain, but I see right through you,” Kix accused.

“I’m not sure what you mean. It’s my duty as captain to perform surprise training inspections. It’s for the good of my men.” Rex’s face remained impassive, but the medic didn’t miss the smirk tugging at his lips or the glint in his eyes.

Before he could answer, he heard voices coming down the hall. Kix went through the same mental routine he did when he boarded a LAATi, and with one last deep breath, he readied himself for battle.

_____________________________________________________________

“Wait, wait, wait! A tube?! They have an actual tube in them?”

“Not just a tube, Hardcase. Two tubes!”

“Can females create metal?!”

“How does a baby even fit in there? Like, the same size as us in the tube? Come out of THAT!”

“FEMALES LAY EGGS?!”

The first ten minutes of the session went about as well as Kix could hope for. Characteristic of this group, they were rowdy when they filed in, most coming in from the mess hall, and many in the middle of glorified battle stories that their audience wasn’t buying. As they took their seats, they settled in, and most conversation had quieted down, but when Kix stood upfront waiting for a second too long, pointed looks by Echo and Dogma had the room quieting down quickly.

Much to Kix’s surprise, the group remained attentive and curious during the first parts of his notes as he walked them through the anatomy. Not to his surprise, all hell broke lose when he started to explain conception and gestation. When the questions erupted, Kix stole a glance to the back of the room. Rex was barely holding his composure, and it looked like Jesse’s outburst broke the professional dam as Rex quickly hid his face behind his hand, shoulders shaking.

“Alright, alright, alright. Calm down! One question at a time,” Kix barked. “First, the fallopian tubes are not metal tubes, Hardcase. It’s just what they’re called because they connect two sections. Second, yes, babies as big as we are when we come out of the tube are born through the vagina. If necessary, they can be cut out, bu-“

“THEY CUT THEM OU-“ Smack “Ow!”

“Cut it, Appo,” Echo scolded.

“As I was saying, they can be cut out, but that’s in emergency situations. And lastly, they don’t lay eggs. Not females with this anatomy. They carry eggs, and once a female hits puberty, their ovaries release one egg once a month for it to be fertilized,” Kix finished.

“Oh I can tell you allll about how they’re ferti-“ Smack. “Ow!”

“Fives, you’ve never even talked to a girl,” Echo was on a roll Kix very much appreciated.

Taking a pause before moving onto the next section, Kix swept his gaze across the room. Dogma furiously scribbled notes while Hardcase and Oddball looked like they were trying to solve the equation of an ion engine. Echo lazed with his arms across his chest, attention trained on the medic, but gave Appo another swat when he noticed his head nodding to the side. Fives still rubbed the back of his head where Echo hit him, looking like a hurt loth pup not getting to make his crude joke.

Crowded in the middle, a hand raised. Kix recognized the trooper as one of the newest 501st.

“Yes, Doma?”

“Thank you, sir. I’m just curious. What, what happens to the egg if it isn’t fertilized? Does it just…fall out?” The trooper looked around on the ground as if expecting to find a scattering of eggs around him. A soft laugh floated from the back corner of the room.

“Well, Doma, that leads us into the final part of this training. If the egg isn’t fertilized, then the female body goes through what is called the ‘menstrual cycle’ in common. It’s possibly called other things in other languages, but it all refers to the same process.”

Kix picked up the 3-D model and moved back to the front and center of the room, pointing to the uterine lining.

“When released, the egg settles in the lining of the uterus. If it’s not fertilized, the lining sheds and discards the old lining and the egg through the vagina. Then the lining builds up again over the next month preparing for the next egg,” Kix explained. Silence settled over the room and not a single trooper moved. Even Echo looked like Kix just explained a 10-page battle strategy to him with one minute to learn it. “Ok, where did I lose you all?”

Eyes glanced around, no one wanting to speak first. Finally, Dogma raised his hand.

“What exactly do you mean by ‘sheds and discards the old lining’?” he grimaced.

“Here goes nothing,” Kix thought.

“Well, exactly what it sounds like. The lining literally tears itself from the uterus, falls through the vagina, and exits.”

Eruption.

“YOU MEAN-“

“THEIR BODY IS LITERALLY TEA-“

“HOW OFTEN DOES-“

“SHEDS? LIKE, THEIR BODY JUST-“

Fives, Hardcase, Jesse, and a trooper Kix didn’t recognize jumped to their feet, yelling questions. Dogma turned pale. Doma was bracing his head in his hands. Echo’s eyes went wide, stare fixed on a spot in front of him, and troopers around the room reacted with a mix of horror and confusion. The quiet laugh in the corner of the room mingled with the ruckus. Acting fast, Kix brought his fingers to his lips and let out a whistle the patrol across camp could probably hear. Immediately, the questions ceased, but the looks of horror remained. His narrowed eyes got the message across, and all the troopers settled back into their seats. Once he was sure they were focused back on him, Kix went on.

“This is where we’ll open up the question portion of the training.”

Every hand shot up.

“Fives, if this is a joke,” Kix warned.

“No, it’s serious I promise!” Fives pleaded. Kix nodded for him to go on. “When they’re going through this men-menstrol? Mens-“

“Menstrual.”

“Thanks, vod. When they’re going through this menstrual cycle, is it painful?”

“Yes. Pain can vary female to female, but common symptoms are severe cramps. Many females experience cramps painful enough to cripple them anywhere from a couple hours to days. Other common symptoms are muscle cramps in their lower backs and legs, interrupted sleep cycle, severe mood swings, bloating, digestive changes, and headaches or migraines.” Kix explained. A room of faces grimaced back at him.

“How long does it last for,” Echo asked.

“Again, it varies female to female, but on average 3 to 7 days.”

“7 days?! They’re just…bleeding! For 7 days!” A trooper exclaimed in the back.

“Maker, I didn’t think of that,” Jesse mused. “They’re just walking around with their bodies tearing itself on the inside, and they’re just…ok?”

“Well…” Kix started. “I wouldn’t say they’re ‘ok’, but they’re expected to go through life with it. So yes, many females you encounter could be in their cycle.”

“And this happens, every month?” Jesse asked, amazement in his voice.

“Yes, once the female becomes of age, and as long as everything is regular, it happens once a month.”

“Whoa,” Awe passed over the troopers.

“Wait,” Appo shot up in his seat. “Commander Tano!”

Kix’s eyes instinctively found Rex’s. The captain’s smirk turned into a wolfish grin, and it took all of Kix’s respect for the decorated captain to not flip him off.

“What about the commander?” Kix returned to the group.

“Well, she’s a female!” Appo blurted.

“Appo, are you asking if Commander Tano experiences a menstrual cycle?” Kix asked. The captain answered with a vigorous nod of his head, blood rushing to his cheeks.

“Well, I can’t disclose patient information, but Commander Tano is of the age that it’s common for females to begin theirs.”

“That..is so…fucking…cool!” Oddball exclaimed.

“You mean our Commander is out there kicking clanker butt while her body is literally tearing itself on the inside? I mean, can she be any greater?” Echo proclaimed, a proud twinkle in his eye.

“Ohhhh is that why she randomly hordes all the chocolate cakes in the mess?” Fives mused.

“I don’t think I need to remind all of you that it is not procedure or polite to bombard the commander with questions about this,” a stern voice interrupted from the back. Amusement still danced in his eyes, but the expression on Rex’s face shut all conversation down immediately.

“Yes, sir,” echoed unanimously.

“Alright, well, if there aren’t any more questions, that concludes the training,” Kix dismissed. While his brothers filed out of the room, Kix allowed himself to relax his shoulders for the first time since Fives entered.

Rex appeared in front of him, hand clasping down on his shoulder, “Not bad trooper. I think you’ll only be getting questions from Hardcase for the next 20 rotations.”

____________________________________________________________

“Hey, Rex. Have you noticed the boys have been…odd lately?” Ahsoka asked while she and Rex made their way through the halls of the Resolute,

“Not sure I know what you mean, Commander,” Rex responded.

Walking through the narrow halls, a few troopers stepped to the side to salute the commander and captain as they passed. Ahsoka noticed two things. First, their eyes went wide when they first took her in. Second, their force signatures spiked instantly with something mixed with astonishment and pride. Once they passed, she could swear she heard one of them murmur, “An absolute legend.”

These types of occurrences had been happening regularly over the last few weeks, and Ahsoka grew more confused with each one.

“I don’t know. All of them have been looking at me like the shinies look at Anakin when they meet him for the first time. It’s, unnerving,” she explained.

Rex did his best to hide the chuckle rumbling in his chest. Of course, he’d noticed his brothers completely obvious demeanor change towards their commander. Ever since Kix’s trainings finished, the whole 501st viewed their vod’ika in a whole new light – one that put her on par, if not higher, than their general.

“Eh, I’m sure it’s nothing. You know how they get, especially in between missions. Restless and bored. Start actin’ weird. Don’t pay attention to it,” Rex tried to deflect.

Making their way around the corner, Fives and Echo were spotted leaving the mess heading in their direction. When the ARCs recognized who was ahead of them, Fives bounded their way.

“Commander! Lucky running into you. Here, I grabbed an extra chocolate cake just for you. Figured you can stash it away, save it for later,” Fives suggested, giving a wink like he and Ahsoka were in on a secret only the two of them know.

“Uh, thanks, Fives. That was, kind?” Ahsoka shot a look to Rex that said “See?”, but he just shrugged her off as if Fives giving her chocolate cakes happened every day.

“Oh, and commander, I stopped by the med bay earlier. I saw they were low on high strength painkillers, so I requested that Kix put in a supply order right away so we’re well stocked. Wouldn’t want to be caught unprepared, right?” Echo added.

Rex groaned internally. For ARCs, these two were the most obvious troopers he’d ever known.

“That’s, good to know, Echo. Thanks, I think?” Ahsoka tried her best to sound polite, but the whole interaction just confused her more.

“You’re welcome! Well, we’re off to the rec center for some sparring. Rex, join us later?” Echo asked.

“Another time, Echo. I have a briefing at 1500,” Rex answered, dismissing the troopers.

Later that day, Ahsoka stashed that cake in her quarters and made a note to stop by the med bay to grab some of the painkillers before next week. She didn’t know what was going on with the boys, but she wasn’t going to not take advantage.

[im-a-luxury]

i am a HUGE sucker for “peter looks in the mirror one day and all he can see is uncle ben” but i am also a sucker for every other swap-in you can make. (mini fanfics below the cut, with many self indulgent headcanons LMAO)

miles is talking with his dad one night after everything calms down. the conversation is light, easy, but his dad goes quiet suddenly. his dad looks at him, and miles has never seen him so quiet. his eyes go misty, and miles is scared something happened for a moment. but his dad just sets a hand in his shoulder and says, “you look like your uncle.” miles cries in his dads arms that night.

gwen is talking with her dad over breakfast, and something slips out of her mouth. she recognizes the sentence, why she has it in her head, but she doesn’t know from where. her dad freezes, before turning to look at her. his eyes soften, but his face and shirt are painted and streaked in blue and grey. “you sound just like her.” he doesn’t give gwen time to ask who, before he turns back to his eggs.

peni never knew her mother. she died while giving birth to her, so her father raised her, then her aunt and uncle after he…yeah. peni doesn’t know much about her either, just that she was smart, and her dad thought she was pretty. peni’s going through her dad’s stuff one night, when she pulls up a picture of her. peni finds that her reflection matches up perfectly.

hobie doesn’t have many memories of their parents, no photos either. it’s fine, they dont miss them much, and they figure they dont look much like them either. they have one thing that ties them back to that little apartment in old york. it’s a picture, old and faded, of their brother. as the picture gets more worn, the only thing that hobie can see is their brother’s face. it might as well just be a picture of themselves.

jess loves her mother. more than anything on earth (besides her baby). she’s been there throughout her pregnancy, she was there when her captain stacy died, and she was there when her husband did too. it was the first time jess ever saw her mother cry, and she finds out that tears make people look a lot alike.

noir doesn’t look like uncle ben. the thought used to make him angry. why am i never good enough?! then it depressed him. why am i never good enough…? but he slips his glasses on one morning, and his hair folds and curls down on his forehead and sticks up at his neck. he ties his tie, and looks in the mirror. he finds himself wondering, how long can you look in the mirror before you start looking like your father?

miguel doesn’t have a father. at least not anymore. george o’hara died a long time ago, and tyler stone…well, why would he want anything to do with him? miguel rages at himself everytime he thinks about him—not stone, but the man who raised him. george’s been dead for years, why can’t you just get over it?! but years of blood and fear don’t just disappear because a stone gets plunked in the ground. miguel tears up the last photo he has of george, and goes to splash water on his face. he looks in the mirror, and he sees himself. miguel looks nothing like his father, and he finds himself thinking that’s a good thing.

[joelswritingmistress]

Last Halloween: Chapter 20

Summary: After a tragedy involving Joel happened on Halloween one year prior, the town now shuns him while ignoring the details of the now closed case. You are seemingly the only one to offer empathy to a man the town is making out to be a monster.

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

You knew it was going to be a challenge, but the plan you had in mind to fight for Joel's integrity and expose the Champagne family was something you had to carry out.

Across from the coffee shop on the quaint little street was the annual Mischief Night Movie Marathon on the town green, drive-in movie style with a giant blow up screen. To discourage kids from throwing eggs and soaping windows the night before Halloween, the town had created an event that seemed to draw in bigger crowds every year. People brought blankets and lawn chairs. Prior to the start of the movie there was a pumpkin carving contest and all of the jack-o-lanterns were lined along a stone wall that bordered the green.

From five to seven o'clock there was a tiny tots hour and the movie Monsters Inc was played for all the young kids. From seven o'clock until eleven, two horror movies played for older crowds that were picked by the townspeople through social media polls in September. The chosen movies for that evening were Trick 'R Treat and Halloween II.

You sent a group text to Jess, Winnie and Chrissy filling them in about what had happened, and they agreed to meet you down in front of the coffee shop.

For the time being you laid low with a beanie hat pulled down over your ears and a hood over that. To your knowledge, Vic and the other assailants had yet to be tracked down; and so you tried your best to go a little incognito.

The carefree nature of the kids' hour across the street made you smile. Moms and dads helped lift giant pumpkins with goofy faces onto the stone wall as kids jumped for joy in their costumes. The gathering was great for the community and you envisioned, just for a second, that one day you might be one of those moms with a little one of your own.

"Hey!" Chrissy was the first to run up to you and made you stumble back with the fierceness of her hug. "Are you okay?"

You knew she'd understand. She had been the only one you hadn't talked to directly about you and Joel.

"Yeah," you half-lied, but you weren't about to say no, "Yeah, I'm okay."

Chrissy pulled back, still holding you by your arms and looked you in the eyes. "I am so sorry I said what I said about Joel that night we all talked. I had no idea.." She shook her head and pulled you back in for a hug. "Is he okay?"

"He's still in the hospital but he's going to be okay," you told her.

"This is so scary." Chrissy still held you firmly in place. "I am so so sorry you had to go through all that."

"It's okay," you assured her.

Your other two roommates joined you by the coffee shop and you all exchanged similar words.

"So, what's the plan?" Jessie asked. "We want to help."

"Thank you, guys." You let out a deep breath. "I'm just waiting on one more crucial piece to the puzzle." You reached into your pocket and removed your phone to check the time.

"What piece?" Winnie asked.

"I had to rely on.. someone else."

They all looked at one another, wondering if anyone knew who or what you were referring to.

"Steve."

"Steve?" Chrissy asked, her eyes bugging. "Like Steve, Steve?"

You nodded. "It was a last resort but he has the in's that nobody else does. And believe it or not, I think he's true to that badge enough to make this happen."

"I thought you said he was a jerk."

"He is.. kind of," you said, "Or maybe that was me just being annoyed by all of his quirks." You shrugged. "We weren't exactly a love match, but I think deep down he's a good person."

I hope, you thought silently, checking the time again.

Monster's Inc. was wrapping up and the line of jack-o-lanterns stretched nearly the entire length of the wall, each with their own faux candle that left a series of orange glows. You needed the video before the start of Trick 'R Treat. Based on the schedule, you knew that left you about twenty minutes.

"What exactly *is* the plan?" Jessie asked.

You took a deep breath, sending a little cloud of smoke into the air. "Steve is getting me the footage from a security camera that shows what really happened last Halloween. It shows the truth, no ifs, ands or buts.. no gossip. Joel was attacked by Johnny when he was attempting to change his flat tire. Johnny choked him out with a chain and in the struggle of Joel fighting for his life, the two of them fell down a little embankment and Johnny broke his neck. The surveillance video shows all of that, and that's why Joel was charged with nothing."

Your three friends stood them staring at you as if they were watching a suspenseful movie unfold.

"There's footage?" Chrissy asked, her mouth hanging open.

"Yes." You nodded. "And tonight, when ninety percent of the town is here, I'm going to show them."

"Holy fuck," Chrissy said. A smile spread across her face. "That's insane."

"How are you going to do that?" Winnie asked.

You glanced over her shoulder toward Steve, who looked nervous as hell, as he wandered toward you, glancing around in all directions.

Relief filtered through your body. He came through. Your plan was going to work - you thought.

The girls followed your gaze and when Steve got wind that you were all staring at him, he puffed his chest a big and pretended to be paying attention to the Halloween gathering across the street.

"Steve." You gave a wave. His hand looked tight and ridged as he waved back. His face matched his posture.

"Hi, Steve." Chrissy gave a small smile and he nodded once at her before staring directly at you.

"They have a computer that's attached to the projection here," Steve informed you. He reached into the pocket of his shirt and pulled out a small, black disc drive. "The department transferred the footage onto multiple drives. This one should work on any computer. It's just an HDMI."

When he placed the disc into your palm you looked at it for a long moment before finally closing your fingertips over the top of it.

You let out a deep breath knowing the magnitude of what was about to happen. "You think you can distract them enough for me to swap this out before they start the next movie?" Your eyes scanned the small team you had standing in front of you.

"We'll do whatever you need," Jessie said with a nod. The girls all nodded and Steve let out a sigh.

"You do know what's on the line for me, right?"

"Yes," you said directly to him. "And I promise you, you won't regret helping an innocent man get the justice he deserves. This town needs to know the truth." You added, "I'll never tell anyone you got me this. No one would believe you would anyway, with our history."

There was a long silence as everyone contemplated what their role could be, before Steve finally said, "I'll distract them at the podium," then added. "And you do what you gotta do."

CLICK HERE FOR CHAPTER 21

@untamedheart81 @amyispxnk @grogusmum @ghostwritesthings @strawbunnyx @ayamenimthiriel @noisynightmarepoetry @jiminstinypinky @tuquoquebrute @pedr0swh0r3 @runningmom94 @mellymbee @shayna-d-clown @bbiophiliaa

[thejediscrolls]

I Heart ?

Crosshair x reader

Who knew simply loving a man would be this difficult

Fluff - Angst (I mean it’s Crosshair)

Pt 6 of I Heart ?

“And he said and I quote I will not be your lap dog.” I put air quotations around the sentence.

“Lap dog?” Echo trailed off…

“I mean what in Ewok territory is that supposed to mean?” I huffed as I paced around my kitchen, cooking breakfast for the two boys.

Echo and Fives sat on my kitchen stools watching as I flailed my arms about, before flipping the eggs.

“Maybe it’s because-” Echo didn’t get to finish his sentence.

I turned to the calmer domino twin with a sharp look, “I never once said I wanted him to be my lapdog or even imply it for that matter!”

“He’s a loose hinge.” Fives interviewed with a shrug, “I’ve heard stories from the other boys about how temperamental he is. You know, I can shoot him in the hand if you want? Send him back to Camino where 99 can whip some sense back into him.”

“No you don’t need to hurt him.” I chuckled, “And I won’t let poor 99 suffer the wrath of Crosshair. The poor man has already been through enough.”

“But if Crosshair hurt your feelings, it’s only right that I get to hurt him back.” Fives tried to explain his reasoning, “Besides I can get Kix, Jesse, and Hardcase and I know Fox will be in on it too. I just have to give them a call and we will-” Fives was already getting out of his seat.

I shook my head quickly, “No no. I don’t want any violence. Promise me.” I held my pinky out, “Fives.”

Fives sighed in defeat, sitting back in his chair. I was lucky that he conceded none the less as he wrapped his pinky around mine to ensure the promise.

I pulled my hand away from his and placed both of my hands on the counter. Fives was quick to pull his mug of hot chocolate closer to him, protecting it as if it was the most precious thing in the world to him and maybe it was… He did love chocolate after all.

I almost laughed though at the thought that he would somehow believe that I would try and take his drink away, but my mind was occupied over another clone.

“I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.” I muttered in defeat, “Maybe he truly doesn’t like me? If that’s so then it might be best if I just hold off from confessing my feelings to him.”

“Whether he does or he doesn’t, I think you should because it would lift a weight off your chest.” Echo explained, “Besides…” Echo trailed off unsure if he should be saying this.

I raised an eyebrow at him, “What?”

“It’s nothing.” He decided on, “But I think it would be best if you go and talk to him. I’m being serious.”

Fives nodded, “Echoe is right and I believe if you don’t get this off your chest I think you might go mad.”

I remained quiet, thinking all my options through as I plated their breakfast.

“Crosshair is at the base today?” I asked softly as I placed the two hearty meals in front of them.

They both looked at the meals like two hungry bears.

“Pretty sure.” Echo nodded a grated full look on his face as he picked up his fork, “Thank you, this is amazing.”

“Of course.” I nodded, “You know I have to make sure my boys are fed.”

“I bet he’s at the shooting range. He’s always there.” Fives concluded, his mouth already full, “This is so freaking good! Thank you!”

I smiled at him, “There is plenty more if either of you are still hungry.”

I said before striding to the front door and grabbing my coat while I slipped my shoes on.

“You’re going then?” Echo asked, a knowing looking in his eyes and a silent prayer to the force that Crosshair won’t do anything stupid.

Even if Echo is now apart of the bad batch and knows how smart each of them can be, he also knows how cruel Crosshair is when facing something he has no control over.

“I’m going to work to work.” I confirmed causally, but they could read me like a book, “Help yourselves to anything in the fridge and like always make yourselves at home. You know where everything is, I’ll be back sometime later after work.”

“Give him hell.” Fives gave me a thumbs up.

“Love you boys.” I gave them a wave goodbye, “Have fun today!”

“Love ya too!” They both yelled and as expected went straight to my fridge.

“I’m done playing around.” I muttered to myself as I waved down a taxi.

I’m going to walk right in there and tell him how I feel… I’m going to tell him… I’m going to… I’m going… I’m…

“Wrecker couldn’t beat my score with an Armageddon on his back.” Crosshair gave his infamous grin towards his brother and leader of the group.

I couldn’t help, but admire his laid back form as he talked with his brother about the last mission that they had before the Winters day holiday.

“Hm.” Hunter chuckled, “Try telling him that.”

“Oh I will.” Crosshair smirked.

I’m going…

I turned on my heel trying to get as far away as possible. My nerves got the best of me as I tried to make a quick escape. My office will do, no one ever goes there.

Force, I can’t face him like this. Why couldn’t I be drunk? It would have made this a lot easier.

“Oof.” I said the moment I turned, bumping into a hard chest, “I’m sorry!” I rubbed my nose as I looked up to find him…

“Steven.” I muttered as I took a careful step backwards.

“Hey! It’s been a while!” He gave me a smile that left me wanting to shrivel away.

“Ah well I’ve been busy.” I chuckled nervously, “I actually have something important that I need to go take care of so if you would excuse me.” I tried to walk around him but he grabbed my wrist.

“Can I get your number now?” He pressed, “I’ve been patient.”

As if. I thought about all the times he has asked me already. If only he would take a hint.

“I’m sorry, like I said I don’t give my number out easily.” I told him trying to sound as apologetic as I could.

“Yeah? Well I asked a bunch of the other scientist under your station and they said they had your number so what’s the deal?” His eyes squinted at me with impatience as if I was the one in the wrong here.

Why couldn’t he just take the hint and move on? There are plenty others he could pursue. I’m sure someone would like him as much as he likes them. It’s just that someone is most definitely not me.

“Look,” I sighed hoping to be as gentle as possible, “I’m sorry and I don’t want to embarrass you like this at work, but I’m not interested in anything you have to offer me. I would very much like us to be respectful coworkers with one another.” I explained, “Now if you could please let go of me, I have a meeting to get to.”

“Why do you always have to lie to me huh? Why?” His hand began to squeeze harder around my wrist, “Why won’t you just give me a chance? I could treat you well!”

I hissed at the pain, “Steven let go. You’re hurting me.”

“No!” He seethed, “Tell me why!”

“I already told you! I’m not interest Steven, now let go!” I tried to yank myself free from his grasp.

“Just give me a chance dammit!” He got the attention of others as he raised his voice, “I’m the perfect gentleman! I brings you flowers, I make sure you get home safe! I even get you gifts!”

“I never asked you to and I didn’t even tell you where I live! I don’t like you and I never will! Now let me go!” I yelled trying to yank my arm away.

My breathing began to pick up as old memories began to flicker in front of my eyes… The war… The screams… Being held down… My parents…

“I don’t know anything I swear!” I screamed, thrust back into that moment… A moment I only wish to forget, “I want to go home!”

It was then that Steven raised his hand, ready to strike my face. My eyes widened in fear and I squeezed them shut waiting for the impending blow… But it never came.

“Usually I let others handle their own fights.” Crosshair’s voice rung threw my ears and I opened my eyes to see him holding Steven’s raised arm, “But you don’t know when to stop so…”

Crosshair twisted Steven’s arm with one quick movement, the scientist groaning in pain as he held onto his wrist.

“Look clone.” Steven glared up at the towering sniper, “This is between me and her so why don’t you just back off and go back to the tube you were created out of.”

That’s it.

My fist reared back before I could talk sense in my self and in just a blink of an eye my fist connected with his nose. An audible crack was heard as well as his screech of pain as he let go of my wrist to stumble back.

“Have more respect for a soldier who puts his life on the line to protect your weasel self.” I glared at him.

I couldn’t even say that I didn’t feel at least a little proud at my job well done.

“And you can have this back, I don’t want your gifts.” I stated as I went to take off the bracelet.

“Don’t.” It was Crosshair who spoke leaving me a bit confused.

“What?” Steven asked appalled, “I didn’t give you that!” He shook his head as he stumbled away to a few of his buddies.

I looked to the bracelet confused, “Who…” I trailed off before looking to Crosshair, “I’m sorry he spoke to you like that.” I apologized, turning my head to where Crosshair was standing… Or where he use to be standing.

His longs strides had him half way down one of the halls already. My force, that many is quick.

“That was one hell of a punch.” Hunter commented, stepping in beside me.

“Thanks.” I trailed off in slight defeat for he wasn’t the person I wished to hear that from.

“He’s never had anyone stick up for him.” Hunter said staring down the same hall that I was, “He doesn’t know how to process what just happened properly if you are wondering why he left so quickly.”

“Oh…” My heart melted a bit at the thought, “I see.”

“What you said back their…” Hunter trailed off and I knew what he was referring to.

“It was nothing.” I waved him off quickly, “Just some old memories.”

I turned to Hunter, one of the few people who understood the mind that was Crosshair.

“Does he like me?” I asked, one to change the subject and two… To find out how the sniper really feels about me.

Hunter looked at me with surprise, “What?”

“I like him and I want to tell him as such, but I don’t know if he feels the same way so do you know if… Well if he likes me?” I asked again.

“I think you should find that out for yourself. It’s best you be honest and tell him how you feel. It might take him some time to process that as well, but once he accepts you as part of his small circle then you are in it for life.” Hunter said before walking away.

Being apart of his close circle doesn’t seem too bad. He’s still going to get a strong word or two from me though with his self righteous attitude problem.

I can’t help, but wonder… Why did he say don’t when I tried to take this bracelet off?

I fiddled with the charm on my bracelet.

It was then that it clicked. Of course it wasn’t Steven who got me the bracelet, it was Crosshair!

“Hey!” I yelled out to Crosshair before he got too far away.

But the reaction I was hoping for didn’t happen, it only made him speed up.

“Seriously.” I mumbled as I started to jog after him, “Crosshair! Stop!”

He only glanced back at me before turning a corner.

I scoffed. At least you’re heading towards my office. You’re not getting away from me this time.

It took everything in me to break into a sprint, I practically threw myself into him as I turned around the corner.

“For the love of clankers woman!” He hissed as he grabbed onto me to keep me from knocking us both to the ground.

“My office. Now.” I panted as I slammed my hand against the panel, successfully opening the door.

He only rolled his eyes, but relented as he stepped into the room. I followed him, making sure to shut the door behind me.

“What do you want?” He crossed his arms.

“Well first I want to say thank you for what happened back there.” I said as I tried to catch my breath.

He nodded his head stiffly, “That it?”

I huffed, “No! You.” I stepped forward, “You kissed me! And I know that it meant something to you just as it means something to me.”

He shook his head before heading towards the door.

“I know you got me this bracelet!” I practically yelled… Pleaded for him to just listen.

He froze, his hand above the panel.

“I don’t know why you didn’t tell me sooner or why you kept it a secret, but I don’t care because I know you have your reasons and I know deep down in that closed off way of yours, you like me.” I spoke quickly, but I knew my point got across from how his shoulders tensed.

“I like you Crosshair.” I said a lot more gently, “I really do Cross so please don’t push me away…”

I took a breath as I waited for a response that as usual was only silence.

“Please say something.” I pleaded with him though his words however short felt like a thousand knives in my heart.

“I don’t like you.” He said barely above a whisper.

“Yes you do.” I said stubbornly.

“No I don’t!” He yelled spinning around to face me, “I don’t love you! Why can’t you get that through your thick head?”

My voice matched his in fierceness and anger, “Because I know what being in love looks like and what it doesn’t and you are! And I don’t care what you say or what you think of me because I don’t think of you as some lap dog. I think of you as a man who lives to fight for what he believes in so believe in us!” I stepped over to the sheet that covered the gift I have been working on for month, “I made this for you because I lo-”

“I don’t believe in us!” He said exasperated, “We live in a life that we could die any day! I can’t even fathom settling down with anyone, do you hear me?”

I looked up at him in shock as I felt my world crumble, but that didn’t seem to dissuade him. It seemed to fuel him.

“You think I got you that? Well you’re wrong!” He lied straight through his teeth as he refused to look me in the eyes.

I knew that he was lying, but it still cut deep because why would he have to lie if i already knew the truth.

He didn’t stop there however…

“You think I kissed you last night because I have feels for you?” He scoffed giving me a once over, “I was drunk and you were there. That’s it.”

He pressed his hand against the panel to open the door.

He barely gave me a glance as he said, “I won’t ever love someone who couldn’t even survive on a battlefield.”

I couldn’t fight the tears as I gripped on the sheet, watching him and any chance that I had with him walk out the door.

I won’t ever love someone who couldn’t even survive on a battlefield.

I scoffed at the words. What does he even know about me? He knows nothing of my life before, of why I was here on this stupid planet. He knows nothing. Nothing and he made it very clear, he never will. I thought as I wiped my tears away.

Taglist

@ttzamara @kateii @brynhildrmimi @theamericanjewitch @dream2501 @spaghetti-666 @oldfriendobiwan @bomboclaaty @arctrooper69 @rintheemolion @starwarsdreams @crosshairsimp73 @palliateclaws @crosshairsbabygurl @namesmox @crosshair-is-the-superior-clone @the1sunshine1girl @sunshinesdaydream @xxeiraxx

[mwolf0epsilon]

Snack Crime Conundrum

Sponge, staring in horror at the scale after measuring Beau's weight: Little gods... When did you get so huge, girl?! Beau, who's been having issues keeping up during their routine walks: Boof? Sponge: Actually the pertinent question would be, who in sith-hells has been overfeeding you?! You have a strict diet to adhere to! Beau, blinking innocently and cocking her head to the side: Woof...? Sponge, seething: This won't stand... Mark my words, I will find the fiend who's pushing you towards obesity and arthritis issues!

-Several minutes later-

Sponge, currently interrogating Rex, Fives, Jesse, Hardcase and Tup: As you may know I have been investigating a rather delicate situation. One that, should I find you culpable, will come with severe consequences. Perhaps even a jail sentence. Fives, a little frustrated: For the last time you drama queen, we haven't been sneaking your barghest any treats after meals! Jesse, standing by Fives: Yeah! We're innocent! Hardcase: Yeah! Innocent! Well, for the most part anyway... Fives & Jesse: Sponge: Excuse me? Hardcase, fidgeting nervously: Well... I mean... Sometimes I give her a little piece of egg during early meal. But not always! Tup, chuckling nervously: And I have given her some of those fancy liver treats you keep in your trunk. But only when she's not allowed in the medbay! Because she looks so sad in the crate... Rex, shrugging: ....I have on occasion given her some cheese snacks. But she does little tricks when I have them out, and you said when she does tricks she deserves a reward! Sponge, flabbergasted: I can't believe you three... Cheese snacks?! Really Captain??? Hardcase, coming to Rex's defense: Hey! At least we don't do it constantly! I've seen Jesse dump an entire plate into her mouth when he's had to skip midmeal to go to last minute debriefs! Jesse, gawking: 'CASE YOU SNITCH! Hardcase: And Fives has this game where he throws food at her to see if she can catch it in the air! Fives, glaring: Thanks a lot, traitor... Sponge, huffing: Innocent men my shebs... Fives, glancing over to the other side of the room: Wait, how come Kix and Dogma aren't a part of this lineup? Sponge: Kix would never endanger my darling girl's health by feeding her fatty crap. And Dogma has made it clear he doesn't particularly like Beau, so why would he give her illicit snacks? Rex, Fives, Jesse, Hardcase & Tup, looking just behind Sponge at Kix and Dogma who are both staring back at them while sneaking Beau some snacks: Kix, crosses his finger over his own neck before pointing at them threateningly: Dogma, smiling innocently before snapping the bread-stick he's giving Beau in half for further threatening effect: Rex: ...Fair enough. Fives: But-- Rex, putting a hand on Fives's shoulder: Fair. Enough. What's our punishment?

[precious-little-scoundrel]

What is Elvis like as a father in law? I pretty much see him treating Donna and any of the other women who join the family similar to how he talked to fans at times. Everyone is darlin ', sweetheart, honey hahaha. Wanting to take everyone under his wing and spoil em. Especially Donna because she basically saves two of his kids.

This man -you’ve nailed it.

He loves people. We’ve established this. He adores his kids. Now, people who love his kids? Oh that’s just a beautiful upper tier of love from him. He loves them, he squirrels them away in rooms just one on one to grill them about their interest in a off-putting but lovingly intense way. He inducts them into the family with all the pomp and circumstance of a born performer while also taking care to give them private and subtle assurances of his welcome.

Of course there was Ella‘s fella Johnny, and the time Elvis put his dumb blonde head through the penthouse drywall. But that was no aspersion against Johnny’s good character, his valiant service to the nation as a soldier in ‘Nam or any real man-to-man dislike. It was entirely to do with a red blooded man marrying his 18-year-old baby. Elvis had sworn as a young father he’d kill anyone who came for Ella: Johnny can be glad he only has a permanent goose-egg back there from the incident. A few months of good intentions and proof that Ella is happy with her choice and all can be forgiven. Besides, Elaine seems charmed by Johnny and Elvis hates being anything but on the same page as Tink. 

Now Jack’s lady, she is a whole Lotta woman, so much Woman that some idiots might call her masculine, but that’s just her broad shoulders and brusque attitude leading you astray. Live and let live, Elvis believes, and he can sympathize with Jack. He knows a thing or two about the positive affects of your lady not letting you get away with shit. Or conversely only allowing you to in her company or under her supervision. It only takes Elvis a few months to get a read on Vic and stop trying to spoil her with jewels or perfume, instead he buys her cigars in the vain hope that she’ll stop swiping his. 

And then of course there is Danny and his precious Bee, raised most of her summers at Graceland and practically a Presley child until Shiloh had to play matchmaker and Danny had to make it weird and marry her. Oh well, at least they’re compatible and Elvis already approves.

And there’s Rosalee and her Sam Harrison, who Elvis likes well enough as he’s the son of an army buddy, even if the fool boy married someone else in the interim

and Daisy’s bloke ain’t half bad for being British, being known as Rosalee‘s kind professor, he’s got brownie points in the Presley family before Daisy attached herself to him, he’s a calming influence on that wild child and the rest of them, someone for Elvis to smoke with and talk about spiritual things.

And then there’s Donna. Now, Elvis does not have favorites, alright? He really doesn’t, Donna’s not his favorite. Don Don can’t be, as she is not a favorite, she is a fairy, a precious angel sent from above to patch up his babies and bring joy to their household. Whenever sweet Don Don is not being clutched by Jesse or gossiping with Jack or posing for Marie, her tiny self is tucked under Elvis’ armpit while he shows her his latest hyper fixation. She’s written many a caption for a polaroid after he complained of his bad handwriting and morosely wished upon a star within her earshot for some young helper to come along and aid him. Donna didn’t expect Elvis Presley to be so endearingly human -but he is, and it almost makes her forgive that horrid nickname.

…and then take into account the grand-babies that come from these…

[saltygilmores]

THOUGHTS WHILE WATCHING GILMORE GIRLS: S3/EP6: TAKE THE DEVILED EGGS Original Air Date: Nov 5, 2002

Links to all previous episodes can be found in my Pinned Post.

Pre Opening Credits Filler: Lorelai and Rory are sorting junk mail . Of course I had to google whether or not "Shreiber's" was ever a real catalog. Google results were inconclusive. Lorelai's Poconos shirt is really cute.

Post opening credits sequence: A town meeting.

Miss Patty and Babette are too good for this world.

I love seeing Luke smile. As the entire room rises to exit, Taylor instructs them not to leave and everyone immediately listens. I will never understand how he has this much power or why Luke dutifully attends every one of thse things.

Stefon from SNL voice: This hot new club, Stars Hollow Town Meeting, has everything. Animal cruelty, blind obedience, women who pick up dates at funerals, politicians dunking on neurodivergent loners, protest supression.

(tac·i·turn /ˈtasəˌtərn/ adjective (of a person) reserved or uncommunicative in speech; saying little.)

Pretty rich for Lorelai to be dunking on loners when the guy she's in love with has no friends and her daughter has one friend.

At least the loner must be intelligent. Evidenced by the fact that he doesn't waste his time in town meetings. But seriously...imagine you're this guy minding his own business just trying to buy some books and enact political change with protest so the mayor-type-guy calls everyone in town together to dunk on how weird and creepy and quiet you are behind your back (see also: Jess, who was also a child. And who also has to endure shitty comments about not being talkative enough).

Is Kirk the only neurodivergent person in Stars Hollow who is allowed to be himself?

With our powers combined, we are our the Neurodivergent And/Or Deeply Misunderstood Outcast Super Squad! Kirk! A guy who talks to mailboxes! A quiet guy who likes books! Another quiet guy who likes books! Town Troubador! Rory!

Look who else is way too smart to waste his time at a town meeting. His precious whacking off time is over, Luke is heading home, and he is outta here.

Now, let's say the Gilmore Girls in-show timeline lines up with the air dates of the episodes (which it tends to do much of the time). "Teach Me Tonight" aired April 30th, 2002. This episode aired on November 5th, 2002. 6 months and 6 days prior to this town meeting. Rory's not-even-broken arm has healed. Lorelai, kindly...get the fuck over it and shut up. Lorelai: when did Jess get a car? Luke: None of your god damn beeswax. Luke had no idea Jess had a car.

I always found it interesting that Jess was raised in the city his whole life, but knew how to drive. Many (but not all) New Yorkers get around on foot or public transportation and many never even learn to drive at all. But there's just no way Liz was a New Yorker who had a car that Jess could borrow, she wasn't helping him practice, she wasn't paying for lessons with an instructor, and before he arrived in The Hollow the only life he knew was getting around on public transport and walking. We come to learn he knows a bit about car repair as well. And he's only 18. Definitely not saying it's implausible or unbelievable that he knows how to drive. Far from it. Just something to ponder. Jess is scrappy. He finds a way. Lorelai has the absolute fucking audacity to tell Luke "You needs to get a handle on Jess" because he wasn't aware of this car purchase. How about you get a handle on your perfect child before she sleeps with her married ex boyfriend and steals a boat huh. How bout them apples.

OMG OMG.

Narrator: Lorelai Gilmore was in fact, not sorry for equating a 6 month old minor car accident that caused a hairline wrist fracture with 1st degree murder, and she would not butt out now or ever again.

[christinebloodwrittings]

Something exactly like this

Third part here! Honestly one of the worst things to do in the laboral world is managing clients, I'd rather clean toilets, I would deal with less shit, no kidding xD.

Pairing: Hobie Brown x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Harassing, violence.

Words: 2578

Chapter three: The way of the punk

Taglist: @xoxobabe @lavndrluv

It was around 6pm, things were as slow as ever, but my mood shifted after seeing Spider-Punk, maybe because of that I made a few extras on my tip.

It seemed like a good day so far, I was preparing the inventory for later, and then, it went down when I heard someone scream.

When I hurried back to the counter I saw a couple punks harassing Jess, one of them had her cute scarf on his hand, pulling on it so she was literally glued on the counter, unable to move.

"HEY" I yelled, "Let her go, I'll provide service for you" the taller one let go of Jess, making a disgusting grin, "Now that's better, see how easy is bein' nice?" He pushed her head against the wood harshly before sitting on a booth.

"What can I get you?" The same bastard eyed me up and down, licking his lips, "Don' know, you in the menu?" He and his peers laughed at his lame joke. Normally I would at leat try to knock him out, but like I said before, same shit every day.

"Sir, if you're not gonna buy anything, I'm going to ask you to leave".

"Sweetheart" he grabbed my note pad and wrote awfully his order, then the threw it back to me, "Don't get your knickers in a twist, hurry to the kitchen", I almost wished he said thay it's where I belonged so i had a reason to kick his face, but I just let them laugh as I walked behind the counter.

"Three eggs with bacon and three coffees" I placed the order, feeling Jess's eyes on me, "Are you okay?" She rubbed her neck a little, "Yeah, sorry I didn't know what happened back there" this time I was inclined to hug her, "Relax, stay in the register".

Usually we have people every certain amounts of time, so it's never really full, the rush hour started between 5pm and 7pm, because people started managing from home their businesses, due to all the violence. Only a few thousand were brave enough to work outside, like delivery people, or mall staff.

Punks were the worst clientele, you can ask anybody who has to work with people for a living, besides Karens, old people with children and perverts, punks were simply the worst.

"Order up!" The cook handed me the plates, which I took to the table swiftly and without dropping them, not bad since the leg.

"Thank you sweetheart, that'll be all for now" the other tried to copy his comrade stupid attitude, but couldn't make it sound as disgusting, more like pathetic and uncharacteristic. Rather cringy really.

The air around me changed when I saw that one of them had a gun.

Couldn't made a single movement that was too erratic, neither alert Jess without being too obvious, so I just acted normal, like I didn't give a fuck and started to fill up ketchup containers.

One thing is being shot from behind a smoke curtain where you can't see the gun or the person behind it, but it's totally different to have someone point a gun directly to your face.

No one should know what that's like.

Had to be calm, breathe in, attend them and then they would leave. I kept repeating that when they ordered pie, the plates moved with my shaky hands, and just didn't know how to act anymore.

"Ah, why so nervous luv?" His hand went down my thigh, caressing gently with his dry as fuck fingers. What could I do? I couldn't see his other hand, so I guessed it was on the gun, which he showed me with a dark smile.

"Gonna behave now huh? That's why little humming bird went silent?" The third now spoke, making the supposed leader snicker.

His hand moved upwards, reaching towards my ass, never taking his eyes away from me. I couldn't get out of there, Jess, tired of the scene, tried to get closer but I shook my head slowly, couldn't risk her being involved.

"Let's see how well you do me now, whore" he pulled me to his lap, his hand fully grabbing the gun now. He undid the laces behind my apron and slid it away, then he used the cannon of the gun to slip up my shirt, "Wahoo, little bird is bein' cooperative" mocked the second one, firstly taking my hand and then pinning it on the table.

Now, his hot stinky breath was against my neck, along with his tongue, going up and down. Shivers ran down my spine, while I fought the urges to cry and throw up. "Shakey aren't we? I like that" One more word out of his mouth and I literally wouldn't be able to contain my stomach.

In the midst of an awful situation, his head went backwards and dented knife was pressed harshly against his throat, "You better unhand her, things will get messy otherwise" I looked up, "Sir, please" I whispered not believing my eyes.

"Come get y'er bitch huh? No worries, I'll return her to you when we're finished" this guy seemed to not be able to read the situation he was in, until the manager in a blink of a eye scratched the hand with the gun, giving me a window to break free and run to the counter.

"Look what you made me do, you couldn't just wait your turn huh?" I wanted to say he was in an unfair fighting situation, but two of the guys slipped away as soon as they say thr massive riffleon his hand, so it was just the leader vs him.

"Beat it Claude" so that was his name, it was a bit off for a dude like him. "This ain' over, old geezer" he spit and left, but his gaze lingered on me for some reason, it gave me goosebumps.

If only Spider-Punk had appeared instead of him, I would've kissed him right there on the spot.

"Thank God sir, thank that was so badass" she called him?? "No problem, wonder why he was here of all places, wasn' on his turf, besides no one manhandles my waitresses" he said brushing back his white hair.

"Th...Thank you" I ended up stuttering, and my voice broke as soon as I made the effort to speak up, "Did he hurt you?" Jess walked past the counter, brushed my hair away from my face and neck, then she eyed at my arms, torso and legs.

"Only emotionally, but besides the touching and licking, he didn't do much" she sighed, "You're pale, need anythin'?" She seemed really worried, "I'm sick, so I'm gonna take five in the bathroom, I feel...dirty" I turn away from Jess, for some reason I felt embarrassed, maybe was the fact that everyone saw that horrible scene back there, but the embarrassment was going to pass, the feeling of his hands and awful words wasn't, not easily.

After I puked my guts out, I resumed work, then at 7:30, locked myself in the back to do inventory, alone with my headphones, blasting pop clasics instead of listening to my thoughts, otherwise they would eat me alive.

Later I was walking home when I remembered Spider-Punk could come, and since I didn't really had the energy to deal with people, at all, no matter how nice, I thought of leaving a post it on the window, because I couldn't exactly text him, right?

Home sweet home.

Was it really? Sure I entered a department hardly decorated, half of the walls painted in a minty green that was hideous, with two corners occupied with stacks of empty boxes, a single brown couch and a bedroom as boring as vanilla ice cream.

So yeah, home.

Lonely, cold home. With no one who greets me with a hug, with something freshly cooked, or at least the damn lights on. Just the emptiness and coldness, as usual.

Is sometimes a curse to be independent.

I threw my work bag on my bed, it looked tempting as fuck, but I knew I wouldn't be able to get up. The only things in my mind were an instant Ramen cup I had stashed somewhere in the kitchen, and a shower.

And I couldn't wait to be clean.

But as soon as I opened my window, the masked man fell from the roof and stopped to be face to face with me, upside down like earlier.

"Hey there luv" there he goes again with the gorgeous British accent, "Hi, I was just about to ask you for a rain check"

"Why? Somethin' happened?"

"No" Yes, "Work drained me, socially speaking, so..." I sighed, my eyes shut fighting a few tears "Sorry I just can't deal with anything or anyone right now"

"Wanna be alone, talk about it, a distraction, just stare at the telly, or a hug with no questions?" I really appreciated him giving me options, but I was just so tired, "I want to sink in the dirt, so can we...do this some other time?" He bowed his head slightly, "Of course, have a good night luv" he was so polite and understanding, it made my heart flutter.

"Same, be careful" He jumped away, but as I was about to close the window he came back to open it back again.

"What are you-" he didn't let me finish, a single jump and he was inside my room, "I know the best to shake off a bad day, come with me" he suddenly was so illuminated, but I wasn't sure, and he noticed. "We'll be back before curfew, cross my heart" he assured me, and seemed confident enough.

"You sure?" I placed my hand on his, "I bet you a kiss" I grabbed my cellphone, and my keys just in case, before following him to the window, "You're on".

He took me to the roof, the last bits of the sun shining at the distance made me forget the cold wind blowing.

He jumped on the edge, and pressed my body to his before leaning back, and fully jumping off the roof, his arm firmly wrapped around my waist. "Oh my- Fuck!" I yelled, holding him for dear life. I heard him fucking laugh, "Don't mock me you punk!" He laughed even harder, "You're so cute!" I heard him, and felt the movement of his cheeks, I bet he was smiling.

We landed in front of a cafe, not like the one I work in tho. It had a simple style, not much like the 80's, more like modern but it felt like home. The smell coming out of the kitchen was sweet, warm, welcoming.

Gosh how did I missed a place like that?

"Man like Sam! Spare us an hour or two?" The man from the counter lifted his head, "Yo wassup Spider-Man, sure thing, the usual?" Seemed that they get along just fine, "Yeah, but not for me, you're not alergic to cherries right?" I shook my head, "So that and a... coffee? Or perhaps a milkshake, luv?" He gave me a nudge on the shoulder, making me laugh at his funny tone.

"Making fun of me, huh?, a capuchino please" the man nodded with a sweet smile before going to the back.

"I wasn' ya know? Just thought you were the kind of girl who enjoys the milkshake with the share heart straw" I laughed as I followed him to a booth.

"I mean, I do enjoy a good cliché, but this is not that kind of situation, and you're too cool for that" he gasped in a dramatic way, "You're assuming the way of the punk don' like cute stuff?" The smile on my face grew a bit, "I suppose so" he leaned his body against the wall, punching his chest with both hands pretending to stab himself.

"Way to punch my heart lil' luv" he was so weird, "You like clichés? Aren't those a way the media has to make people buy into a fake romance idea, and make money out of it?" I saw how he tensed his jaw, only to mouth a dry, "Yes" probably clenching his teeth.

"Not very anarchist of you to like 'em" I bluffed,

"In my defense, don't believe in consistency, luv" he was so enigmatic, but so simple? I had so many questions.

"Right, so you're a hopeless romantic?" He sat normally, took a second to think about it, then sighed, "I enjoy the lovey-dovey shit, it's a good rest from the hard leather and violence" waving his hand in the air.

The same man from before brought me a piece of cherry pie, with whipped cream and a ball of ice cream on top, and the capuchino, it was so cute, it had a shape of a cat on the foam. I thank him and offered the spider a bite but he refused, maybe because he just didn't wanted to lift his mask, too much exposure I guess.

"Must be hard" I broke the silence, while toying with the crust, "The what?" He asked, I was going to mention his whole vigilante life, but I figured something more, complete.

"Living in a constant fight flow" he looked down, then to the window, like looking for something in the foggy night.

"Already used to it, but yeah, who wouldn't be fed up already?, this seems like it's..." he punched the table, sighing exhausted. He seemed so tired of everything.

"Endless" he lifted his gaze at me and nodded, "Yeah", the only thing I managed to do was place my hand on his, to bring at least some comfort,"I feel you" his hand faced the other way, so he could lace it with his fingers.

"What had you so down?" His voice was low and soft, as if he was being careful and put a lot of thought into the question.

The piece of pie went hard down my throat as soon as he asked.

"I just...I really hate man that think they can do whatever the fuck they want to women" I felt how his hand had a firmer grip, not quite menacing like the punk at the coffee shop.

"Did someone do something to you today?" He suddenly went straight with his tone, and also his words.

"Honestly he was an imbecile punk, I don't care anymore, by the way no offense, but most idiots nowdays are punks" I stared at his fingers playing with mine, his other hand tapping the table occasionally.

"What did he look like?" He insisted.

"So you can do what? Forget it, if only he didn't had a gun, I would've kick his ass myself" the air went quiet for a little bit, again it was like I could hear the gears in his head turning, "Did he hurt you?" I shook my head, not wanting to disclose what he actually did, "Nothing physical".

"If I had stuck around, maybe would've helped" that made my heart flutter a little, the idea had crossed my mind, him swinging and saving me from that asshole, "It was hours after you left" It wouldn't have changed a thing, but he sighed and murmured a low "Still", his gaze, I just knew he had it on me, but how I wished I could see his eyes.

"If it makes you more at ease, this helps a lot" I laughed, but the sound of a police siren brought our attention to the window, and ruined the whole evening.

[elliespuns]

Love your thoughts on how they got back from Seattle. Must have missed the file you’re talking about. The one that says they stole a car. But yeah, I agree with them having time to recover in the theatre, but also wanting to get home as fast as possible. They’ve probably got doctors in Jackson. I seem to remember that it took 2-3 weeks for Dina and Ellie to get to Seattle? On horseback. Probably faster with a car. in any case, it must have been a difficult trip

I think that stealing a W.L.F. truck would make the best sense. They needed to get to Jackson as soon as possible, given how Tommy was injured and Dina was too. (talking about this post)

I actually have no personal experience with finding that file either. But there have been people talking about it on the internet, and since there are many of them, the file must exist. First, I thought that people were just repeating what they'd read online (because that damn note is not to be seen anywhere online), but I believe that you can find it in the farm part of the game. I think someone mentioned it, and maybe if you searched Ellie and Dina's house better, you'd be able to find it somewhere. There are so many Easter eggs in this game; I wouldn't be surprised if we had never noticed it before, and only a few of us did.

Plus. When you think about it, Abby's group drove to Jackson in W.L.F. trucks too at the beginning of the game (you can see one of them parked in the garage when Tommy and Joel bring their horses inside). So the roads between Seattle and Jackson are passable. I also thought about the fuel, which was hard to find. But thinking back to when Ellie and Dina were in Hotel Serevena, there was a lot of it. Ellie pointed that out, and Dina was like, "Well, if we ever need more, we know where to get it from."

They'd definitely be in Jackson faster by car. They had to. Otherwise, a lot of things wouldn't make sense at all. Tommy wouldn't have probably survived the head shot; Dina would've probably had serious problems with her pregnancy too, and they would've had to actually leave Jesse behind. Which is unlikely because on the farm, there's this letter from Jesse's mom that Dina received, saying she doesn't blame her and Ellie for what happened to Jesse and that she's always been a family to them. She also says that they are always welcome to come back to Jackson and that she can't wait to visit to see JJ. So, I assume that Robin (Jesse's mom) got to bury her son.

Here's a cute picture of Robin and Dina with JJ who has been probably just a few weeks old.

[disasterbiwriter]

You may have seen me obsess over this before, but... Luke tries to teach Jess how to play baseball, because "every boy likes baseball, right?" And it doesn't go very well. 😆

The Diner Dudes and the Bad Hop

Part I

Lorelai is bussing a table when Luke clatters down into the diner, and as she looks up and takes him in, it's clear she's trying not to laugh.

"What?" Luke demands. "What?!"

"Nothing, I just didn't know you realized you could wear those things with the brim to the front." She reaches up and gently flicks the brim of his ancient Mets cap.

"Knock it off." What does it say about him that even that miniscule degree of contact with her sends his stomach into somersaults?

"Sorry, sorry." She looks him over once more, from the hat down to the scuffed up Slugger hanging at his side. "So, you're really going to go through with it?"

"'Course," he says. "He's excited."

Her face is soft. "Of course he is. He loves to take the trash out if it means you're with him."

"It's going to be fun," Luke insists. "All boys love baseball."

"Right right." She snaps and points at him, cheeky. "Hey, do you think he'll put whatever he's reading down long enough to hit the ball, or are you thinking the reading material will be thick enough to be a stand-in for the bat?"

Luke rolls his eyes. "Are you in overtime yet?"

"Maybe."

"Go home."

Part II

"All right, bud, remember what I told you?"

Six-year-old Jess is vibrating with excitement. "Yep!" He ticks the items off on his grubby fingers. "Keep my eye on the ball. Don’t swing at anything below your shoulders or anything higher than your knees."

"Er, close. It's actually - "

"And quit when it starts to feel like all the baselines are running uphill."

Luke scratches his head. "Did... I don't remember telling you that last one."

Jess scrambles for the backpack he slung off along the first baseline and pulls out a pristine library book. "Babe Ruth’s Baseball Advice," he announces proudly. "Mrs. Gilley ordered a copy of it for the library when I told her you were gonna teach me baseball."

Mentally Luke runs through a catalogue of sayings attributed to the Big Bam and makes a mental note to remind Mrs. Gilley that Jess is still in elementary school. "All right, put the book down, let's get to it, kid!"

"I'm ready, Uncle Luke!" With comedic effort he hefts the bat over one shoulder and readies himself behind the plate.

"Uh, honey? Try taking the mitt off when you bat."

"You got it, Uncle Luke!"

Part III

"Jess, I think you'll probably have more luck if you open your eyes when you swing."

"Good idea, Uncle Luke!"

"Jess, honey, that's third base, not first."

"But we read left to right! Why do we run right to left?!"

"I, uh... I don't actually know the answer to that."

"That was better! Try running towards the ball instead of away from it next time!"

"What if it lands on my head and cracks it open like an egg?!"

"No, I'm definitely sure there are only three bases, kiddo."

"Chuck Presby says there are twelve, and if you miss any of them they make the umpire put you in JAIL!"

"But are you sure?"

"Look, sweetheart, I know I told you I don't actually know everything about baseball, so I guess it's possible... But I'm telling you, I don't think there has ever been a baseball player who was also a bank robber. And you've gotta stop listening to anything that Presby kid tells you, he's an id - he's just teasing you."

"Uncle Luke! We forgot the wickets!"

"No, Jess, there are no wickets in baseball, that's cricket."

"Uncle Luke! Uncle Luke! I hit it! I - oh no! Uncle Luke! Are you okay?!"

Part IV

Lorelai unearths a bag of peas from the diner's freezer and gently settles it against Luke's cheekbone. "Well, at least he hit it."

Luke glances over at the counter where Jess is wearing more ice cream than is getting into his mouth. He loves that little gremlin so much he might actually cry - or would, if any tears could escape his rapidly-swelling eye. "He certainly did. Baby's first bad hop."

"What on earth is a bad hop?"

"You know," Luke sighs, "ask me some other time. I think I'm done talking about baseball for the day."

"You got it. Need a beer, boss?"

"Make it two. Hey, didn't I tell you to go home?

"You want me to get you a beer or not?"

"Right, shutting up now."

Part V - Two Weeks Later

"And then," Jess says proudly, tapping the little square with his finger, "the guy hit a fly and got out at center field - so I put the 8 in his box Eight stands for center field, remember?"

Lorelai whistles over the scorebook, impressed. "That's so cool, kid. And you learned how to do all that today?"

"Yep." He spins a little on his stool, clutching the precious document carefully in both hands. "Uncle Luke says I picked it up faster than anyone he's ever seen."

"Well, that doesn't surprise me even a little bit."

"I think watching baseball is more fun than playing baseball." Jess beams at Luke as he comes out from the kitchen, Jess's dinner in hand. "Don't you think so, Uncle Luke?"

Luke sets Jess's plate in front of him and strokes his nephew's hair. "You know what? These days I think you're right."

[hotchs-bitch]

Fluffy Feb Day 14- Valentine’s Day [Breaking Up Slowly]

Warnings: established relationship, Jack, PDA (scandalous), BAU reader, mentions of sex

Pairing: Hotch x blank slate Fem!Reader (no use of y/n)

Word Count: 941

A/N: this blurb is also considered to be part of the Breaking Up Slowly universe, set a couple of years before the events of BUS. It’s also crammed full of Easter eggs to prove it, lmk if you spot any <3 (you do not need any prior knowledge of BUS to read this)

On your second Valentine’s Day together, Aaron wakes you up by pressing approximately a thousand kisses to your face. “Good morning, sweetheart,” he whispers when your eyes flutter open, and you return his sleepy smile with one of your own. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

“Good morning,” you whisper back, giving him a kiss. “How did you sleep?”

“Very well. So well, that I’m wide awake now.” He goes back to peppering you with kisses, covering your face and neck and shoulders. When you feel the slow grind of his hips against yours, you groan quietly. “Think we’ve got a few minutes?”

“We’d better,” you mumble, but life is so unfair that Aaron has two fingers in the waistband of your underwear when the bedroom door flies open and Jack flings himself between the two of you. “Good morning, buddy!” You try your best to sound chipper, but the look you and Aaron exchange says it all. You’ll finish this later.

“Morning! Can we have pancakes?” He asks, wiggling around until Aaron wraps both arms around his son and sits up with an overdramatic groan. 

“Did you grow?” He asks Jack, who shakes his head and giggles at the question. “I think you did. You were definitely smaller yesterday.”

You lean in to kiss the top of Jack’s head. “He’s growing up to be big and strong like his dad. Alright, Jackers, are you gonna help me make breakfast while daddy gets ready for work?”

Jack nods excitedly, squirming his way right out of Aaron’s arms. He clambers off the bed and shouts, “To the kitchen!” before dashing off, and you sit up with a groan of your own. 

“I’m on breakfast duty, I guess.” You yawn dramatically, and Aaron smirks at you. “Jess is still okay to watch him tonight, right?”

“She was happy to,” your partner assures you as he gets up and starts towards the bathroom, “Just as long as we promise to give him a sibling.”

The thought of having another kid, a kid of your own, is ludicrous. That’s a conversation for a different day further down the road, so you just snort a laugh to yourself before going to meet Jack in the kitchen.

Breakfast ends up being pancakes made with red food dye, and Jack ‘helps’ you by using cookie cutters to make them into heart shapes. You all eat quickly- you and Aaron end up forgoing your morning coffee on the balcony, but that’s okay- and then it’s off to work and school for all of you.

Aaron is dropping Jack off, which means you get to the office before he does. Your desk, much to your delight and amusement, houses a bouquet of red roses in a vase with a little envelope tucked into them, a simple heart in Aaron’s crooked scrawl drawn on the front. The inside of the card is short and sweet; you wouldn’t expect anything else from your partner.

Happy Valentine’s Day. Thank you for letting me love you. Forever yours, it reads, with Aaron’s familiar signature underneath.

The card goes right into your desk folder of sticky notes and various other writings Aaron has either given or left for you, and then you turn your attention back to the vase of flowers in the center of your desk.

They’re on obvious display which is cute but takes up a lot of space, so you move them to the corner of the desk and get to work. You’re halfway through a consult when you feel a presence behind you, and the smell of cologne, coffee, and icing hits your nose a moment later.

You turn to find Aaron standing there, holding a breakfast donut and two coffees from your favourite shop. God, you love him.

“Thank you, honey.” You stand up, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. Neither of you is big on office PDA, but agents are just starting to trickle in and it is Valentine's Day, so exceptions are bound to be made. “You’re spoiling me.”

“You never let me do it any other day,” Aaron retorts, a smile playing on his lips. “Speaking of, I was thinking that we could go out for dinner tonight. You can wear that new dress and give me a chance to show you off. ”

“Cupid’s on the clock already,” Emily comments as she passes by the two of you on the way to her desk, and you ignore her save for a quiet laugh at her comment.

Aaron hands you a coffee cup, one of his eyebrows raised in question as though he thinks you’ll say no to his dinner offer, and you raise yours in return. “On one condition.”

Your donut is set on your desk, and Aaron narrows his eyes as he passes his coffee cup to his other hand and pulls you in by the waist. “Name your terms,” he murmurs, and you know that he’s just trying to be quiet and keep from drawing attention to the two of you, but he’s being so sexy that it’s taking everything in you not to kiss him.

“Hmm… you have to be my Valentine.” You wiggle your eyebrows at him, and Aaron tilts his head back to laugh. It’s beautiful, vulnerable in the way his eyes crinkle and his neck exposes itself and his laugh touches your ears. It’s gorgeous, and it’s something you wish the bullpen saw more of; your favourite side of him.

“Sweetheart,” he says once he’s finished laughing, a final chuckle slipping through his lips, “I’ll be your Valentine as long as you’ll have me, and for a few years after that, too.”

You hope he’s right.

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[mesillusionssousecstasy]

Demon 79

This mini movie / episode was quite nice actually. 

Apparently, Demon 79 was originally supposed to be released on a sister series called Red Mirror which would deal with more supernatural things rather than having it all technology based. According to Brooker they might end up doing more Red Mirror episodes depending on the success of this.

Now there’s several nods to horror classics in this entry with the score of the shining being used as the title comes up. We also have the poster for the entry itself which looks like it’s playing on the one for that film along with it’s latter sequel Doctor Sleep. Made to evoke 70′s horrors this entry also tackles themes like race, politics and the incoming apocalypse. Centred around a woman named Nida Huq I couldn’t help think that this might be a reference to Brookers real life wife Connie Huq who has co-wrote several episode of the show in the past. 

After the title reveal we come across Nida and can hear bright eyes in the background by Art Garfunkel. This was written for the 1978 movie Watership down and the song itself is about a dreamlike state where someone goes on a journey. This is similar to Nida in the entry and they give a lot of focus to her eyes being wide open at several points. 

Now this episode is packed with a number of different easter eggs and ties back to other black mirror episodes from the off and throughout. There’s a shoe brand called Wolfies Footwear which might be building off the back of the last episode Mazey Day. We see the newspaper clipping talking about how a tipley publican named Robert Daly has died. Robert Daly is a name that has appeared in the series before and this was the character that Jesse Plemons played in USS Callister. This is probably director Tobey Haynes giving a bit of a shoutout to himself as he directed not only this but also that episode as well.  The talisman used to summon the demon also seems like a thinner version of the white bear symbol which actually appears later on in the flashes of Michael Smarts future.

The fictional UKN broadcaster from the universe announces his Britannia party and we learn that Smart actually took power from Michael Callow from National Anthem. However the flash here shows that he was kicked out for Racist remarks and a clipping in Loch Henry showed that he’d rebuke this. It then announced he’d start a new party which leads to the Britannia one which has the union jack in the white bear symbol. There’s also a shot of facial recognition at an eye level being taken out. This could indicated that the ADIs from hated in the Nation came from Smart and we see that they’re used on a black man showing that they have a racial angle to them. We also end up seeing one of dogs from Metal Head. A news ticker in Loch Henry confirmed that they were introduced by Smart and they of course caused a lot of issues in the country. 

It’s funny how Dog is thought to be the titular demon of the episode, when I definitively see it as Smart and hell doesn’t even want him dead because of all the evil he could do. Smart represents the control of the weak minded people who are easily swayed by politicians and he almost somewhat hypnotises Nida’s co-worker into voting for him.

Gaap is also a real life demon from the infernal dictionary who has shape shifting abilities and can show people a past. He states that he’s a misophape which is a lower class demon. 

At one point Nida reads the book Creative Visualisation which is about using the power of imagination to create what you want in life. 

Turns out that murderers can’t count as people who are killed due to them already being damned and thus she has to go after smart. 

Nevertheless the book is a major clue and we have the history with her mother adding to it as well. We know from the other entries that Michael Smart survived and benefits from this attack. 

The episode have the similarities to the son of Sam killings which too took place in the 70s. David Berkowitz said that a demon in the form of a dog told him to do it which though he’s admitted was a hoax could be the basis for this episode itself. 

The morality behind it is : Is it ok to kill someone when he’s a bad person or when he will do despicable things in the future. 

Can someone good and innocent do something terrible and bad for the greater good?

The actors playing the principal roles were perfect, especially the one playing the dancer in Bobby M. 

Why 79? 

Also the prime minister Michael Smart is finally in this entire episode from present to future.

Some good quotes: “- So don’t just hope for a better future. Vote for one!”

“- Cast out into a boundless, cosmic void. And doomed to spend eternity in a vaccum of infinite nothingness. Absence of matter, of time, of space, light, and sound. I would endure a profound, palpable, and ever-present lack of existence, alone in perpetuity, forever more.  - Sound like my life.”

“- My whole life, I never wished harm on anyone. I didn’t. - Uh... You couldn’t have summoned me for my trial if you hadn’t. Well, you had to be corruptible, not beyond corruption. You know what? You must have had some dark force inside you when you touched the talisman. There’s no shame in it.”

“- Then I choose Michael Smart. He’s the one. That’s that.  - Honestly, they are not gonna like it.  - But it’s within the rules, so they can lump it.”

“- So, I mean, you could come with. - Into eternal oblivion?  - Oh no, it’s much worse than that. It’s with me.”