#jfc am i becoming a musicals person?

[ill-say-anything-i-hafta]

My partner was like "no one can relate to les mis, it takes place a million years ago and who knows what the characters even want?" Clearly she has never been on tumblr.

[sweetkpopmusings]

vernon best friend headcanons <3

a/n: i love vernon so much platonically (and non-platonically) and i needed some serotonin at 2 am so here we are :,-) also pics not mine ofc!

content: fluff | wc: 0.8k | warnings: none! | pairing: bestfriend!vernon x gn!reader | requests: open

definitely the ride-or-die type of best friend

it doesn’t matter if you met when you were younger or as adults — once he knew how much you two clicked, he became one of your most loyal and loving supporters

but i think he shows it in the silliest ways

like you tell him a bad joke, and, when you look at him for a reaction, he says “shutup, stupid” but with the softest smile on his face

he will NOT give in by laughing but you know he loves it

he is such a silly little guy himself

so y’all are frequently doing dumb shit together

not just the texting only in memes (which happens frequently since you both have developed a shared collection of reaction pics/gifs)

but you’ll both just be talking and suddenly you’re acting out this whole bit you came up with on the spot about a shirt that’s made of the shamwow

even if you don’t think of yourself as a funny person, you become a comedic genius in the presence of vernon

jokes aside, your friendship is a source of calm

he’s the type of friend you turn to for solace on your most stressful days 

even if he sometimes doesn’t know how to properly react (homeboy froze up the first time he saw you cry but he only got awkward because he felt so sad seeing you so sad :-( what a sweet angel) he ALWAYS makes you feel comforted 

and he’s always willing to learn more about what you need in terms of support because he always wants to be the best friend he can be ! 

it goes the same for you too — while it takes a lot for him to get vulnerable, when he builds that trust with you, you cherish it by gaining the tools needed to support him

and he’s so grateful for it like his heart swells with joy whenever he leans on you in hard times because he’s so lucky to have you as a rock 

speaking of rock

“black eye” is the proof i needed for my argument that vernon is in his angsty / emo / pop punk phase

so he’s totally the bestie who will jam out to pop punk with you (if you’re into it! i’m very into it and i would give everything i have to listen to neck deep with vernon like i'm being so serious rn)

in fact, he is the bestie who will jam out with you to your favorite music any time anywhere

he LOVES collaborative playlists that you two make together

and yes these sometimes become super niche and specific 

but whether you’re listening to your “top shower songs” playlist or your “standing in the back corner of a gas station deciding on which drink to buy so you can use their bathroom” playlist, this is one of vernon’s best ways to appreciate and celebrate your friendship

he thinks the best way to know each other is through sharing music and all the other things you like/enjoy, and that’s how you learned a lot about each other in the beginning of your friendship 

you of course meet the rest of seventeen and vernon has so much pride every time one of the members comments on how cool/funny/smart/etc you are

because he’s like YEAH that’s MY best friend right there!!!!!!!!

will be so down to take cool af photos of you 

even if he needs some coaching on what your best angles / preferred poses are he is taking down copious notes so he can nail it every time 

i can’t believe how long this is getting jfc i guess i really want vernon to be my buddy

he loves to just vibe with you

since you two are on the same wavelength most of the time, he thinks it’s the most fun to get food and chill at home watching movies, tv, or youtube together

like whatever you’re in the mood for you’ll do and it’ll be a great time because you’re together 

he also strikes me as the type of best friend who likes being friends with your other friends 

he doesn’t need to be super close with them, but he wants to make sure you are able to have him in a group setting too because he knows your other friends are important to you 

i think he also loves mimicking you

like if you say something he thinks is interesting/funny he will immediately repeat it 

whenever he tells stories that involve you, he impersonates you perfectly (this is also true when he is telling a story about you to you)

it’s just another way he shows how much he pays attention to you and loves you

overall he’s such a fun guy to be around and whenever you’re together it’s carefree and comfortable and secure 

he is ALWAYS by your side because he knows you’ll do the same for him

and he is ALWAYS ready to make fun of you for the same reason 

someone please give me a vernon tysm 

[cyberpunk-20xx]

Kerry's situation is a very painful reminder of how fucked up the game's canon society is, even to the rich people. Which is maybe my biggest gripe with the game. A game where I'm not given even the slightlest chance to change shit around me, a game that's just so pessimistic and cruel in how it treats its characters, so hopeless, is not punk. but that's smth else entirely to talk about.

Back to Kerry. He's less suicidal at the end of the game when V reached out and helped some to sooth his trauma about Johnny, even if one could argue it's maybe just, well, putting him back where he started or indulging a toxic fixation. Depends on your interpretation. But his situation hasn't actually changed, he's still held by his label in a death grip, even if at least his current manager's supposedly out of the picture. But even that i don't believe. All we know for sure is that we burned his yatch. Like. Kerry tells us that his MSM Record manager (can't remember his name and be bothered to check) makes him drink on purpose to get him to sign shit, which is blatant abuse and all we get to do is fucking burn a boat? Let me make the dude a corpse, even if you make me have to work for it jfc.

I really love when fanfic writers actually address that issue btw, because it really hurts me to think about him being left in this bullshit. And in so many endings we know his situation is less than ideal even with V.

Kerry's profound unhappiness is visible in many ways: the state of his house, his insinuated addictions, his impulsive, self-destructive behaviors, his tendency to lash out and paranoia to assume people are against him, and overall defensiveness, his fear of the unknown, his clinging to fame, his refusal to see his kids, his mentioned and hinted suicide attempts. He's a guy who, at 89, doesn't seem to me like he knows what he wants, what he needs.

Personally, it both hurts me and makes me really like him, because I find him relatable in how he reacts to despair. In that aspect, I find him very well-written, even if a lot of shitty tropes and pop star stereotypes are used. Yes, pop stars one.

(One other thing that's devastating about Kerry is that he's a rocker, but he doesn't act like one, according to his own definition (which seems to really just be Johnny's shitty macho definition altho it's a whole label that precedes both of them in the TTRPG lore). Which wouldn't be a problem to me if he also didn't find the genre inferior to rock.)

But what fucks me up the most is that he's dealing with despair at all, when out of the four LIs, he's the one that has the safest, most stable life. Hell, he could even easily leave Night City and never look back, and still create, he's got the money for it, it might sound terribly materialistic of me but the man has enough money to just no longer be dealing with all this shit. But he's stuck there because even at nearly fucking nine decades of life, he's not yet felt seen, heard, or acknowledged. He's still scrambling for his roots and something to look forward at once.

Kerry is 89 and has the self-esteem of a 23 years old still.

If I just listen to my basest instincts, I blame Johnny for a lot of that, but that's the easy way, actually. If I actually think about it, Kerry's responsible of his own life too, and Johnny got nothing to do with how he feels out of touch with his Filipino roots, or him being a burnt out rockstar, Johnny is not that powerful at all, and mostly I blame Arasaka and the corps, and i blame the music industry in the game especially actually, i blame the media and the fans for how Kerry bit by bit stops feeling human in the spotlight, but the thing is, it's harder to be angry at those, even in game. Because we're not actually given meaningful ways to do something about inequality in game, and when you're unable to fight something, your brain becomes apathetic to it. It's just a survival thing. my brain does that a lot. i prize my anger a lot because of that (probably why i am so attached to Johnny tbh).

I think Kerry craves to be seen as the man he is, but his ways to try and fix that is to feed the demigod image his career upholds. I'm mad we can't do something about it, nor see the change he deserves happen. I'm mad a game with "punk" in its name is so hopeless and cynical.

[vimesbootstheory]

tagged by the incomparable @rabbithearted

shuffle your ‘on repeat’ playlist and list the first 10 songs that play, then tag 10 people!

I... am a little terrified of how embarrassing this is going to be, because to my shame, as I have become a Gym Person, I've also started listening to more and more extremely generic gym music lmao. association of endorphin-producing experiences and all that. well we'll see huh

The Wondersmith and His Sons -- Astronautalis

Mauvaise journée -- Stromae

Ultralife -- Oh Wonder

Doin' it Right -- Daft Punk

you know me -- Lubalin

I'm Only Joking -- KONGOS

NRG -- Duck Sauce, A-Trak, Armand Van Helden

Head Games -- Foreigner

Clint Eastwood -- MKJ, IMKK

Solar Waltz -- Cosmo Sheldrake

ok well that could have been worse. most criminal generic gym nonsense would be nrg lol. pretty dude-heavy list though jfc

super casual, no-pressure tagging @spirantization, @an-sceal, @karatehusbands, @rival-the-rose, @thatonceandfutureprat, @newlacesleeves, @shae-la-hyene, @jeffersonthemadhatter, @lulamadison and @autistic-fairy.

[shadowspirez]

The main problem with shipping Jeremy and the Squip is that their relationship is not equal. The Squip is an ai that controls Jeremys life, telling him how to act, what to say, and even making decisions for him. Jeremy has no real choice or say when the Squip is in control, and that makes the relationship unhealthy. In any good relationship, both people should have equal power, where they both respect each other and make their own choices. But with the Squip being in charge, it's all about control and manipulation, which isn't what love or a healthy relationship should look like. The Squip's character itself makes it a bad match for Jeremy. It isn't trying to help Jeremy become a better version of himself; instead, it's trying to change him to fit in and be "cool" by society's standards. That's not what a real partner should do. not force you to change to make you more popular. The Squip preys on Jeremy's insecurities, and shipping them together suggests that it's okay for one person in a relationship to control and manipulate the other, which is dangerous and unhealthy. Jeremy's whole character development is about learning to be himself and finding confidence without needing the Squip or anyone else's approval. By the end of the musical, he realizes that he doesn't need the Squip's control to be happy or liked. Shipping Jeremy with the Squip basically goes against this lesson because it keeps Jeremy tied to something that's holding him back. Instead of being free to grow as a person, he'd be stuck in a toxic situation, which isn't fair to his character or his development. When we ship characters, especially in ways that involve control manipulation, we risk romanticizing very abusive relationships. A healthy relationship should be based on trust, communication, and respect, but Jeremy and the Squip don't have any of that. By shipping them, it sends the wrong message, suggesting that it's okay to stay in a relationship where one person is being controlled, which is harmful, especially for younger fans who might look up to these characters.

talk about a fuckin wall of text, dude, jfc. i am. not sure why da hell you're trying to mansplain what a healthy relationship is to me, or how Jeremy/Squip is toxic, because my brother in squist i already know dis?

the point you miss is that both Jeremy and the Squip are characters, they are not real, they cannot actually harm or be harmed. neither i nor anybody else has to "be fair" to them because again, there's nothing to be fair to, they ain't real. you can like and or ship things/dynamics and also not actually want them in reality, that is part of the point of fiction: exploring interesting things in an environment where it doesn't actually result in harm.

like, my mans, my guy... i am in no way "sending a message" or "suggesting" that people stay in real unhealthy relationships. it is not my job or obligation to only ship the most wholesomest, healthiest of relationships just so that hypothetical "younger fans" don't get the wrong idea or whatever. (truly, nobody should be basing their ideas of an ideal relationship off of fiction, but i digress.)

the only message that i, mr. Shadow "Squip-kisser" Spirez, am sending, is that it's okay to unabashedly be yourself, to like things that others may find strange. do not file yourself down or fearfully hide parts of yourself away for the "comfort" of others, because for some it will never be good enough. because it's not wrong to just be yourself. because no one should have to walk on eggshells just to feel welcome in this damn fandom.

[gggoldfinch]

Rammstein rant post ready GO!

I know like nothing about them but I love hearing about people’s interests info dump to your heart’s content my friend! Teach me all about these concerningly sweaty dirty (?) men and their pyrotechnic shenanigans I am sitting here with my favorite pen and notepad ready to take notes. <3

anon. I love you so much. thank you for enabling my insanity. this is gonna be a long, unhinged post

Okay, here we go. My darling anon, I had to HUNT in my blog archive to find this post, but here is my basic rundown of Rammstein itself as a band (<-linked). So come back here after reading that post if you really don't know anything about the band bc this def won't make any sense. In THIS post I'd love to discuss WHY I'm so obsessed R+ and all the things that I personally love about them. I will format it in bullet points to spare myself and everyone's sanity:

I feel like the most obvious point should be the first; I love their music! I grew up on industrial and synth, so introducing metal to that mix is like a heavenly mashup. The heavy guitar, the synth keyboard, the gorgeous vocals and deep (often complicated) lyrics??? I would insert the music directly into my chest cavity if I could and that sounds really fucking weird but that's where I feel like it should live 🧍🏻‍♀️

I have daddy issues point blank, that much is obvious from my blog LMAOOO so ofc latching onto gruff middle aged men is a fundamental human need for me at this point

The style and uniqueness of the band is incredible. Who else do you know that lights everything on fire while looking like they just walked off a movie set? Their outfits are so fucking awesome. Like every time I see a new fit I eat that shit up and stare at pics for hours on end because they're so intricate and cool and kinda kinky?? I WISH I could be their fashion designer like jfc. Also their makeup/ face paint is always killer. I need to kiss their stylists fr !!! The 90's-y2k looks are some of my favs

the history of the band is also very interesting. a bunch of weird dudes from East Germany end up becoming pals and form a band and rise to stardom while soldiering through the trials and tribulations such fame throws their way? love an underdog story. I highly recommend watching the documentary Rammstein in Amerika, it gives a lot of insight into the band's origins and history up through 2015

Some of the shit they pull is so freaky and weird that its camp at this point. The dick mold dildos? camp. The fact that they need licenses to use all their pyrotechnics? camp. Being arrested for public indecency? camp.

I am incredibly, overwhelmingly, unhingedly down bad for Till, Richard, and Paul (and also Schneider to an extent but not as much). I would allow for unspeakable things to be done to me if given even the slightest opportunity if you know what I'm saying

PAUL'S HAIR !!!! He is so silly goofy but I fucking LOVE Paul's stupid little haircuts. like yass go off with your little monk bowl cuts I'm eating it up I'm putting you in my pocket

(the photo of his red hair isn't even showing the back where he LITERALLY shaved it like the fuckin monk tonsure)

everyone is so fucking queer. like. deadass. Paul and Richard regularly kissing on stage is so precious ???? they're just two besties being besties kissing n shit. The band also supports the lgbtq+ community and are outspokenly against bigotry which is always a win. A lot of people have accused them of being bigots themselves and they're like ummm haha no get fucked (cue "Links 2 3 4")

Richard is a perfect little baby angel and I would die for him. I love his spiky hair. I love his nail polish; I paint my nails like him. He is so cute. I love the way he speaks, in German and in English. I also LOVE his band Emigrate, esp the most recent album. He's so awesome 😭 that being said I wish he wouldn't smoke like a chimney because I dread hearing the news one day that he has cancer but ofc I can't do anything about that in the slightest

I mean. do I need to make a bullet point dedicated to Till being built like a fucking brick house?? because I think I do. He is soooo,,, AUAUGHHHHH !!!! Like, the guy is 60 and still looks that incredibly built ?!!!!! homeboy was an olympic swimmer he can swim in my p *gets shot*

Till has a precious smile 🥺 I love his fucked up teeth. he's such a sweetie fr, a big scary looking teddy bear. I need him fr

Flake in his entirety is just so silly goofy. Like homeboy looks like just Some Dude.. he's so normal (he also looks like my step grandfather only tall and skinny, which is very strange...). But then he pulls shit like whacking Till with a keyboard or getting fake fucked on stage. Homeboy also apparently just up and ditched everyone in America and went home after 9/11 because he was so freaked, which in itself isn't funny but imagining him just fucking leaving is a little bit...

Darling little (not so little...) Doom Schneider has an incredibly gorgeous side profile. And I love the pornstache he occasionally sports. He's also another one who is just like. A Normal Guy in my head. He is also very very pretty and very well spoken. I loved listening to him talk during the Rammstein in Amerika documentary

I also think Ollie is also just a Dude,, tho admittedly I don't really even think about him much because he is so normal and not unhinged that he kinda just blends into the background most times. He is 6'7 tho so that is fucking insane

Anyway yep that's all for now I'll stop torturing everyone with my depraved insanity 👍🏻 THANK YOU AGAIN ANON for indulging me for a moment

[here4theheartbreak]

Look at all those pretty photocards!! Amazing~~! The bread ones are sooo cute! 🍞 I HOPE YOU CAN GET/TRADE FOR ALL THE ONES YOU WANT ✨💛 I don't collect photocards because I think it would drive me insane and it might become the start of my villain origin story. Although, I am contemplating buying the fan kit this year because of the tarot-type cards. It's crazy how the kit is £12 but the shipping is £30. Still, I might get it, we'll see.😩🤣

It's so tragic but so true! Someone being... or appearing to be... a decent celebrity is SO rare that it's both thrilling and baffling when you find someone that seems genuinely good. The bar is THAT low. It's lower than low. It's like we're measuring it from the other side of the planet. You've gotta go through the core of the earth and back out again to discover how low the bar actually is.

It honestly seems pretty easy not to use gendered language in songs? Especially in Korean songs? Because it doesn't seem that necessary linguistically? I mean, you don't even use she/he/they to describe your pets, it's always just 'the dog', or 'our cat', or their actual name. 🤷‍♀️

I also agree that using 'girl' in fan songs feels especially alienating. I was actually thinking about this at the Yongguk concert last week. My man was singing 'all my girls be smiling, all my girls be wilding' with his whole chest at the fans and I'm like 'but bro I can see at least three guys from here'. It felt like such a shame in a way? I know it wasn't his intention, but it feels exclusionary to me (and I'm saying that as a part of the 'target' audience). In the future, I hope more artists make their music gender neutral. 🧡✨

Plus, in love songs, let's be real, you can just use 'you' or avoid using pronouns altogether. It's not that hard? And it instantly makes your song a song for everyone?? And it makes it a song that your fans can sing thinking about anyone?? It makes so much sense. In fact, it actually makes MORE sense to do that.

That's the dream! That's the K-pop utopia. Honestly, I wish every fan, of every group, would be seen (and treated) as a fan first and foremost — regardless of their gender identity and/or their presentation. (And the same goes for things like age, race, appearance etc.) A fan is a fan. It SHOULD be that simple. Everyone who's buying albums, going to fansigns, waiting in line, showing up at shows, they're all there for the same reason, with the same heart, and the same passion. It seems so simple and so obvious to me that it's always jarring to realise, over and over again, that that's just NOT how it happens a lot (most?) of the time.

We've learnt the hard way! 😂 Vetting and investigating a group is basically ingrained in me at this point. It's future damage control. It's at-the-door vibe checking. I just don't want to actively support/invest in someone I wouldn't support in my actual life, I don't want to support someone who wouldn't support me, I don't want to support someone who I believe wouldn't stand up for a marginalised person, I don't want to support someone whose persona/personality I have to keep making excuses for. I'm not an idiot. I know they're all normal people. I know even the 'good' ones are almost certainly gonna make a few 'mistakes'. BUT some of these people... jfc.👀 And I don't mind listening to artists casually, and not caring about their 'brand', as it were, but if I'm investing in someone I want to feel confident(?) comfortable(?) at ease(?) in doing so.

THIS! Seeing someone for yourself tells you/shows you such a lot. Going off secondhand accounts is never ideal for building up an image of someone and/or their behaviour. Videos reveal a lot, especially when that person doesn't know the recording is going anywhere. Personally (secondhand account incoming), I knew Ateez were good since their hi touch back in the day because my mom loves ateez, and she went before me in the line, and I got to see exactly how they treated her, and how they spoke to her, and how they looked at her as she moved on to the next member. And they were not only super excited to see her but they were also VERY polite and took a little extra time to say hello. So, from then on, I was like, if nothing else, they have impeccable manners. So, let that be confirmed once and for all... 😂🌸

That's actually SO true. They could easily be more neutral in their support. They never had to do any of those things to that degree. They could definitely do less and still be seen as decent people. Very decent people, even. Honestly, you only engage in that way, that consistently, if you genuinely want to. (And I hope they do lose a few anti-lgbt fans every time they engage with the community. Byeeeee~!)

I forgot about the whole 'the group colour should be a rainbow' thing! 🌈🥺 I loved the thanxx styling so much! I would get a little rainbow coloured 'thanxx' tattoo in a heartbeat. What a great thing that was. All those tiny rainbows everywhere. We were so blessed!!

Ateez are not afraid to play boy/boy when they do those kinds of things. You never really know what you're gonna get! I love that they'll just do it. And that it's never the basis of a bad joke. They just enjoy it and have fun, and no one is thinking too hard about it. It just is.

Yeosang, our strong but tiny man. The members. The company staff. Most of the fans. We're all just out here waiting to do whatever Kang Yeosang wants us to do. Everyone's desperate to be of service. He tells us to jump... and we're all clamouring to find out how high.

THE NEW HAIR COLOURS!!! The return of blonde Yunho? Red-brown Jongho?? Red San??? Neon green Yeosang???? AMAZING. A M A Z I N G 💚

Also, I saw that clip of San complaining about how Atiny draw him again this morning and it really makes me laugh every time! The man is so serious and so offended... but it looks exactly like him when he smiles?? Good job Atiny. You're absolutely right. ✨🎨

Someday I will be able to answer an ask in a reasonable amount of time I stg.

Anyways. Oh I was very weak. And ended up with a whole new stack of Outlaws 🙈 - in my defense! I was ordering sth from a KR shop that I like for a couple of my friends and the albums are so much cheaper over there (like 14 usd for a regular version and like 10 usd for a platform) - it’s just the shipping that is high, and since I was already placing an order for folks, it didn’t actually raise the shipping all that much to add in a few >.> more albums… And I may or may not have broken down and gotten a lightstick. (Again - so much cheaper from KR, esp if you’re already placing a big order, it only bumps the shipping up a few dollars.) I also ended up getting a couple platforms; a few of the pcs in them (the album ones in particular) are so cute and I figured I’d grab a couple random ones and see what I got.

So here’s my new set of pulls >.> I’m delighted with the SanSang unit pcs - I was already eyeing buying them bc they’re so cute, the scream I let out when I pulled them.

And bc my friends all collect these other members I’ve been able to trade for a few more that I want >.> Including peeking Wooyoung 😭.

The platforms tho - cracked me up - random, ofc - but I got San for one pack, and was so delighted - I also pulled Wooyoung’s sticker in that pack lol. The second pack I pulled was Wooyoung and believe it or not… I pulled San’s sticker in his! 🤣Apparently can’t keep them apart even in random album inclusions lmao - Here’s those sets.

Honestly - I was looking at PC templates last night to see who/what all I wanted and I realized that if I was to collect all of these pcs I would 100% lose my mind, there’s like 60 per member per comeback what the fuck. So Instead I’ve made a list of the few that I find really really cute and want and will slowly gather them over the months.

I ended up lucking out in a major way last week and found someone selling a lot of about 25 albums, with all inclusions except pcs, for what amounted to under 6usd per album. They span from debut to Fever pt 3; there’s a number of duplicates but I don’t mind that so much, since it lets me pick and choose which version I want, and then I can easily resell the ones I don’t need, or gift them to my friends. It’s the entire Treasure series tho, which I have been trying to find for a decent price for weeks V_V

Even a couple of duplicates of some of them, I was so excited bc I know a couple folks in my friend group here that are looking for some of the ones that are duplicated so I can offload them pretty quick. So once that comes in, I think i’ll have all their KR releases (and I don’t collect JPN albums for any group but SHINee bc they simply don’t display as well in jewel cases 🤷🏻‍♂️ - and I collect for display and also bc I do genuinely like looking through the phonebooks more than once, so JPN releases usually are lacking that anyways unless you get the limited ones.

Anyways - I saw the fan kit! I love the tarot type set up, it’s so cute. I absolutely adore tarot cards and prophecy type cards and collect fun decks, so I knew I needed to have it, I ordered it last week - I’d been intending on getting the membership anyways. I’m so used to excessively high shipping bc I tend to order my stuff from KR when I can (it usually arrives way faster and the price over there plus shipping is about equal to the price from US based shops bc they raise the price of the item to cover their import fees anyways, so it makes sense to pay a couple bucks more and have the album a few days after release instead of saving money but waiting months for the US shop to get it in and ship it.

It is so so easy not to gender KR songs from what I’ve seen; and very obvious since most of the time when they gender it, they add in the english word instead like… Please don’t?

Honestly I would have gotten so uncomfortable hearing that tbh (Yongguk). My instant thought would’ve been like oh, he doesn’t want me here, I wonder if he sees me if he’ll be uncomfortable :/ I hope he doesn’t notice me standing here — which is literally the opposite reaction you want at a concert - afaik you want your idols to see you! (Except Rie at the OOO concert - could have done without him seeing me and my friend absolutely ugly crying over him but life goes on lol). But yeah no, especially since idols are aiming more for international appeal these days, they really should start considering that there are a lot of fans that don’t match the stereotypical KR fan, and they’re gonna fall flat in a lot of areas if they don’t broaden their appeal to a variety of people - ages, genders, etc.

Also yes - I don’t expect idols to be perfect. Tbh if a celeb has never had a misstep I might side eye them as hard as if they were horrible - bc nobody is perfect and if they’re that good at hiding everything, what are they hiding, you know? Like I want someone who’s a good person but a real person - not someone who’s a master manipulator either.

Awww - it’s so sweet that they were nice to your mom! Sometimes older fans get overlooked (or hated on in fandom itself) so it’s always super nice to see when they’re treated well. I mean, lbvs - who do the idols think are actually paying their bills? It’s not the 12-15 year old fans, for the most part - it’s those fans’ parents and the adult fans who set aside their own income for this 🤣

And yeah no - their support is very obvious and I think very genuine. Their willingness to work with queer folk too - that trans comedian the members do a show with sometimes (I can’t recall her name, but she’s hilarious and so brash. The way my heart soared when Wooyoung called her noona with zero hesitation). And then the few doing the collar with Pentatonix, who don’t hide their queer identity, etc. - I think those sorts of behaviors show a far more honest comfort and ease with people of different walks of life and communities and it’s just so nice to see. 😭

I think the thanxx rainbows are so adorable; I have one photo that I adore with San with the rainbow on his ear - it’s so cute V_V - I like that song a lot too, I think the meaning vibes well with queer folks too in a way. It’s unfortunate that the song has been soured with the CA issue, bc I feel like it get overlooked for that and the meaning is actually really good and the song is really well put together.

I desperately want an ateez tattoo; I have a perfect spot on my arm for it to link together my sleeve but I need to decide which design I want and which song bc there’s a good number I’ve got ideas for and only so much skin left lol. (Normally I get a tattoo for each concert I attend but I might get this one a bit early lol.)

Ah - I am of the minority here but I cannot take Yeo seriously with that hair 😂 the black stripes stripes made it so much worse - this kid walked straight out of an early 2000’s hot topic and definitely writes his aol messages with ‘rawr’ and has far too many x’s in his profile name. 14-16 year old me would have been absolutely enamored with him and think he’s the coolest guy ever. But I do absolutely love San’s hair. That shade of red is either a perfect match or a horrible nightmare on idols - and most of them fall to the nightmare side of things - he manages to pull it off so delightfully imo and I love it. I’m so late on this ask that Yunho has already changed his hair 😂 - I do really like the dark kinda grey-blue he’s got now too. Also Mingi! I love what he’s done with his hair! The cut really suits his face and I actually really dig the blonde and black look he’s got going on.

And omg that video - I found that super early on when I was getting into them and it made me love him so much. He takes zero shit from fans and has no problem calling them out on things - I love it so much and it made me so endeared to him… But now that I’ve watched more of their stuff… Sorry man, atiny is right, you do smile like that - it’s absolutely precious - but it’s also accurate. 🤣

[tiffanylamps]

Lee Dong Sik does have a type

Hello! I am here to once again harass this tag with my opinions.

I love this complicated character. I just want him to heal and live a happy life. I have so many feelings about him and because of him.

This post is another section of the essay (I have previously mentioned) where I lost all interest in being formal in the slightest. So, this doesn't read as a serious analysis of Dong Sik's character, more of a shit post. But nevertheless, it's written with good intentions and genuine interest. Again, this is an excerpt from a bigger piece, so it feels unfinished that will be the reason.

[Please note that Dong Sik and queer-coding are very intricate topics, I am not able to explore them fully with just this post. also: I use the word queer as an umbrella term when discussing the character's sexuality. It is not meant as an offensive term.]

~ Now that the disclaimers are out of the way, I hope you enjoy this absolute mess

[Previously discussing Joo Won's queer coding] 1 2

Dong Sik on the other hand… There isn’t a big romantically coded scene for him, definitely not along the same lines as Joo Won's scene in the rain. We gain knowledge of Dong Sik’s thoughts and feelings for Joo Won through his facial expressions and actions. We get to see it more often because - despite his tendency to mask his emotions behind the veil of other people's assumptions - he is a lot more forthcoming with his feelings. By nature, Dong Sik is an affectionate person with a lot of love to give. Within the show, he is the main character used as a vassal for the creators to explore the Ancient Greeks’ philosophy of the seven kinds of love. Here’s a quick breakdown of the love in Dong Sik’s life:

Eros: Han Joo Won

Philia: his friendship circle: Ji-Hwa, Jung-Je, Ji-Hoon, Jae-Yi, etc

Storge: his sister, his mother, Kang Min-Jung 

Agape: music, food, nature

Ludus: Han Joo Won, Lee Sang-Yeob

Pragma: what his relationship with Han Joo Won was blossoming into

Philautia: he struggles with this one but we get glimpses of it throughout

(information source: https://www.wellandgood.com/greek-words-for-love/)

Dong Sik is a bit of a tease, in the sense that he enjoys teasing people, and Joo Won is the perfect person for him to do that. I believe he was attracted to Joo Won from the moment he met him- no, from the moment he heard his voice. 

That shot though, jfc. It is very common within visual media to use the suspenseful storytelling tactic of “look! The two main characters have met and this is important- pay attention to this”. The story will stop in its tracks because the two main characters or the two love interests have met for the first time. Their interaction and the importance of this first meeting will be displayed by the characters either:

Stopping what they were doing

Becoming awestruck

The camera lingering on their reaction

Beyond Evil uses all three of these common visual storytelling tactics to tell the audience that this moment is important.

And… Okay… I know everyone stops what they are doing to pay attention to Joo Won’s arrival, as it’s a great way of other-ing him from the first episode… But if we look at it from the perspective of the character, Dong Sik is so affected when he sees Joo Won for the first time that he stops writing his police report. We had just seen how driven and motivated Dong Sik can be, he was going to write up that report and no one could stop him, not even the threat of physical violence could stop him. The fact that Joo Won does cause him to stop could be interpreted as a (very) loose play on the trope of Distracted by Sexy or Love at First Sight. Either way, no one could stop him apart from Joo Won. Through the visual language, this seems to be the creator's way of informing the audience of Joo Won’s immediate effect on Dong Sik’s life.

This sequence also plays on the (debatably) romantic trope of Stalker’s Meet Cute and Weaponized Meet Cute:  “When one party has arranged the "chance" encounter for the purpose of romance, it's a Stalker's Meet Cute. (This is very common.) When it's for dark nefarious purposes (i.e., not romance; usually a crime of some sort), it's Weaponized Meet Cute.” tvtropes.org, Meet Cute.  Joo Won has been "investigating" stalking Dong Sik for the purposes of his investigation. He takes photographs of Dong Sik at his workplace and when he is with his friends. Then purposely gets himself transferred to the same substation to get closer to him. Which signifies from the outset that the nature of their relationship is far from normal.

But it is how Dong Sik reacts to the new Inspector that is very interesting...

During my first watch-through of the show, I missed Dong Sik’s quick off-the-cuff remark of “he’s not my type” when speaking about seeing Joo Won for the first time. Which… okay, firstly, no one asked him. It is the first thing Dong Sik has to say about Joo Won. Also, this kind of language screams romantic undertones. To have a “type” is a phrase often used (in western parts of the world, at least) when describing a person you fancy, i.e find attractive.  It’s an odd thing to say and it could just be a funky translation. But Dong Sik decides to tell his best friends that the “handsome” (as other male characters had already noted), successful, fashionable and so painfully metropolitan new (boy toy) Inspector is not his type… Which begs us to question: why did they use this kind of language? If the creators wanted us to know that Dong Sik and Joo Won weren’t going to get along because they were judging each other, another perfectly non-romantic way of telling us would be for Dong Sik to say: He’s just another Seoul detective. This could then start a quick back-and-forth.  Someone could say: But you were a Seoul detective. Causing Dong Sik to give us a reply along the lines: You know I was never like them. (or something better than that) If the conversation had been structure in this way, the creators would be conveying that there is a distinction between the city police and the police in this small town. Also, it would give us the insight that Dong Sik never felt like he fit in in Seoul and that he has a close connection to his hometown. [not confirmed as true] Instead, we get “he’s not my type”. I believe this is the first time we see Dong Sik’s character being queer-coded. 

“Queer coding is the subtextual coding of a character in media as queer. Though such a character's sexual identity may not be explicitly confirmed within their respective work, a character might be coded as queer through the use of traits and stereotypes recognisable to the audience.” Wikipedia.org, Queer Coding.

This framing, as well as other pieces of information about his character, supports the queer coding theory.

Firstly, let’s take the context into account: Dong Sik is a man in his early forties who has experienced deep trauma. He lives alone, is not married, is not divorced, has male and female platonic friendships and at no point in the show is the history of his love-life explicitly confirmed. The only time in the show that Dong Sik himself talks about anything closely relating to his romantic life - or having a “type” - is when talking about Han Joo Won and talking to Lee Sang Yeob. Any other time Dong Sik’s sexuality or love life is brought up is by other characters, predominately by Joo Won. 

Joo Won isn’t Dong Sik’s type. And perhaps not. Having worked (and lived) in Seoul for many years, Dong Sik has probably met many rich, good-looking, privileged, up-themselves Seoul boys. So, he would know. 

So, if Joo Won isn’t Dong Sik’s type, who is? Do we get examples? 

Yes but very subtly via the process of elimination. Throughout the show, Dong Sik only flirts with men. So that and other factors (which we will discuss later) rule out women as romantic love interests. He only flirts with men. Sometimes he does this because of genuine attraction or because he’s trying to unnerve them. He uses his ambiguous sexuality as a way to make other men uncomfortable when in a sparring match of intellect. The people he flirts with when trying to unnerve are:

Lee Chang Jin

Lim Gyu Seok 

Kang Do Soo (very minorly: the good looks comment in episode 4)

Park Jung Je (very very minorly: although, they have a very complicated/ queer coded relationship) These men often bristle or become uncomfortable when Dong Sik uses this tactic.

Do they have anything in common that could help us decipher if he has a type? Well, not really. They are of all different ages, stature, occupation, personality, looks, statuses, and financial backgrounds. They’re different. The only commonality they share is that at some point, they were getting in Dong Sik’s way. So, he used this proven tactic to deflect their gaze, so he can continue on undetected. 

(what a whore)

There are two other people that Dong Sik flirts with aggressively, either because one) distracts them from the truth and two) because he seems to enjoy it:

Lee Sang Yeob

Han Joo Won

What is interesting about these two characters is that they don’t react the same way the other men do. So, how do they react?

Lee Sang Yeob shows quiet patience and (not unkind) indifference like he is used to it. In the situation they were in, he doesn’t let us know if he likes or dislikes it- there’s just silence. Which, within South Korean media, speaks volumes. 

In South Korean media (like the majority of the world), when the male lead’s sexuality is questioned, it is common (and expected) for them to show disgust or make it into a joke, or both (Vincenzo has two very long scenes where Vincenzo has a paddy about having to pretend to date a man is a great example). Queerness is not treated seriously in the majority of the media. It is shown as something uncomfortable; to be mocked, or as a hurdle in the male lead’s journey. As a whole, it is not something that is explored with sensitivity or sincerity.  (there are obviously exceptions to this "rule". I'm speaking in more generalised tones.)

So, to have two male characters in a car together, and to have one ask the other if they are on a date and the reaction is silence, shows us how Beyond Evil approaches queerness in a very different way from the majority. 

  Dong Sik’s flirtations with Han Joo Won are a little more complicated. At first, Han Joo Won doesn’t seem to understand flirting, full stop. All signs of attraction and affection from anyone make him uncomfortable. But as time passes, he starts to accept it and then even starts to return the attention. Out of all of Dong Sik’s interactions with the people he flirts with, Joo Won is the only one to genuinely flirt back. Not only does he flirt back but he enjoys it, as does Dong Sik. 

Other than this, do Lee Sang Yeob and Han Joo Won have anything else in common? Yes. 

They are both (at one point in time) Dong Sik’s police partner. 

They are the same age and thirteen years younger than Dong Sik.

They went to KNPU and were in the same year. 

They are attractive, successful, from wealthy families, ambitious, stubborn, intelligent, naive; metropolitan (working/living in Seoul), and both are passionate and impulsive: going headfirst into danger. They both act like a “prince” and are “burdens”. 

Later, they both cause Dong Sik unbearable amounts of heartache. 

The most important comparison is that Dong Sik cares about both of them deeply. So, there are two characters Dong Sik flirts with for the sake of flirting. They have similarities that go beyond age, race and gender. Through the process of elimination, we can say with a level of certainty that Dong Sik (on a basic level) does have a “type”.

According to him, Joo Won isn’t it. Personally, I believe that Joo Won was Dong Sik’s “type” the entire time. But because Joo Won is (in the beginning) a stereotype, Dong Sik is put off by his prickish facade. Also, Han Joo Won reminds Dong Sik of Sang Yeob from the get-go, and he doesn’t want to go down that route because it’s a deep trauma for him that he’s not over. 

So, when Dong Sik says something so romantically coded as “he’s not my type”, it shines as false in the most wonderful way. 

[Dong Sik interacting with three younger men. credit: 1, 3]

Dong Sik is... so into Joo Won. As Dong Sik gets to know Joo Won, he becomes interested in this difficult man. Within the context of the thriller-mystery narrative, he decides to use Han Joo Won so he can bring the serial killer to justice. But over time, he starts to genuinely care for him. Which wasn’t the original plan. One could justify this by suggesting that it just proves that Dong Sik is a protector by nature; he cares for those younger than him, and he fears losing people so much that he’ll even care for the little annoying prick that is Han Joo Won. This is true but the thing about Dong Sik is that if he doesn’t want someone in his life, he doesn’t include them, or he waits patiently until he can move on. Joo Won is not one of those people, which is proven by how he displays his feelings throughout the first act. Dong Sik proceeds to provoke, get up in Joo Won’s personal space, tease, flirt with him, actively pull him into his life, actively try to get to know him, and actively care for him, whilst trying to save that boy (toy) from himself and anyone else who may hurt him… And it only intensifies in the second act. He seeks him out and always has a (literal) open door for Joo Won to walk through because, despite the fact that Joo Won can be difficult, Dong Sik enjoys him and wants him in his life. 

The fact that Dong Sik enjoys Joo Won’s personality is shown throughout the first act. Contrary to the fact that Joo Won gives Dong Sik many different reasons for him to run away screaming “red flag”, he does the complete opposite. 

A brief list of just a few examples of Dong Sik enjoying Joo Won:

Episode 1: when he offers Joo Won a handshake and is rejected, calls him a "prince" (or something similar)

Episode 1: smiling when Joo Won is talking about his views on friendship,  then proceeds to tease Jo-Won.

Episode 2: when Joo Won has the same thought as him (going to the shop in the rain scene), Dong Sik watches Joo Won walk away and smiles after Joo Won gazes back at him. 

Episode 2: getting in Joo Won’s personal space (and making eye contact) to ask why Joo Won is “so interested” in him.

Episode 2&3: the entire interrogation scenes: yes, he's annoyed by Joo Won but come on, he's also having so much fun.

Episode 3: After Jung-Je has told Dong Sik that Joo Won knows that he’s put the case files back, Dong Sik is very non-plus about it until Jung-Je tells him that Joo Won laughed “like a madman”. Jung-Je is disturbed by the whole thing, which is a very normal reaction. How does Dong Sik react? He becomes excited, smiles, and then laughs, agreeing to stay at work (despite being traumatised by recent events).

(this look screams: I've got you all figured out.... and in retrospect, I'm like: Oh honey, oh no no no no, JW's better and worse than you think) And so on, and so on...

Dong Sik was attracted to Joo Won from the moment he met him and could see through his pretty rich boy bullshit super quickly. We get to see Dong Sik's good nature and attraction to Joo Won, even from the first episode. There are so many examples (here's one) At the beginning of the series, Joo Won is purposely unlikeable. He doesn’t want to make friends because he’s never had a friend that wanted just him before; they’ve always wanted something else from him. Joo Won doesn’t trust people and doesn’t pick up on the majority of social cues, especially ones of genuine kindness - his lack of experiences and insecurities make him believe that people are being conceited, and by extension trying to control him. Joo Won doesn’t seem to believe that anyone could love or like him for him just being himself. So, he isn’t himself as a way to stop getting hurt. (Dong Sik really doesn’t let him continue that charade) 

Dong Sik’s first act of showing… let’s call it a kindness (if we’re being optimistic) to Joo Won on a personal level is in Episode 1. It is so subtle that it went over my head on my first casual viewing. Dong Sik singles Joo Won out (obviously, Joo Won is the newbie of the substation) and tries to show him that his insecurity of “people only want me because of who my dad is” is not true for Dong Sik; and by extension, Manyang. He does this by not taking Joo Won’s shit, physically touching him, and by actively poking fun at Joo Won’s dad. By saying, “I don’t give a fuck who your dad is or where you come from” in the subtext, he’s trying to tell Joo Won that he’s different (Manyang is different). He’s not going to suck up to him, he’s not going to ask for favours, he just doesn’t care for any of that because he’s not like that. Manyang isn’t like that. From the get-go, Dong Sik is telling Joo Won and the audience that if at any point Dong Sik is kind to Joo Won, it is because it is genuine. And not for any other conceited reason. 

(That is not to say that Dong Sik is always kind… ooooh no, for a lot of the beginning, he isn’t.)

Joo Won found it amusing though…

Despite all of this, despite every reason there is for the two of them to not get on (for Dong Sik to absolutely despise Joo Won), they don't. Far from it. I like to describe their chemistry are magnets and like all magnets, they want to attract. So without rhyme or reason, without their control or common sense, they turn and yield, and allow themselves to attract. [Before I beat the horse dead, here is a link to the rest of this thought process, including some sexy screenshots]

[ I am losing steam here and getting distracted. So, I'll include a brief summary before I go. ]

A brief overview of Dong Sik's interactions with five younger men + one male of the same age:

Lee Sang Yeob: flirts with him, finds him annoying (affectionately), cares a lot for him, gives him heart eyes, nearly (does kill?) kills someone because they murdered him- Touch: his stomach to try to save his life Oh Ji Hoon: teases him, has a laugh with him, protects him and tries to be an older brother/mentor. He sees himself in the younger man- treats him like a much younger brother-  Touch: doesn’t, idk... maybe a brief touch to the shoulder (?) Club man: Is aggressive with him because of the fucked-up shit the guy is doing. But still has a ~certain~ energy with him. Touch: pins him against a wall. Lim Gyu Seok: finds him very annoying, doesn’t like him much but does have odd energy around him- similar to the energy he has with Han Joo Won.  Touch: gets in his personal space and puts his lanyard around him in a very ~certain~ way, holds onto his shoulder- the same he does with HJW. Han Joo Won: flirts with him, bullies him, protects him- he’s in love with him, let’s not pretend.  Touch: all the fucking time mate, loves it. Can only think of two times he stops Joo Won from touching him. 

Bonus:  Park Jung Je: Jung Je grabs Dong Sik’s arm once and it makes Dong Sik super angry. He yanks his arm out of the other’s grip. An odd reaction considering they’re best friends.  Dong Sik treats Joo Won differently only because Joo Won encourages him. It's this battle of ego and wit. They're both trying to be right, (both being dramatic), trying to impress and wanting to impress, wanting to be seen They enjoy being around the other; not being able to stop themselves from caring, flirting, battling, repressing, restraining, fighting, protecting... attracting.

Han Joo Won is very annoying. But Dong Sik likes him so much, he's just his type.

---

Dong Sik's queer coding is not shown through grand gestures or grand romantically-coded scenes. He isn't overly flamboyant or "camp". He only flirts with men and does have a type. There is so much more that could be said about Dong Sik's queer coding. For one, we could talk about the religious symbolism throughout the show and Dong Sik is his most "religious" when he's falling in love with Joo Won. Please remember that this is from a larger piece that focused on the first half of the show, which is why the second act isn't explored.

There is sooo much to say about him. I feel like this overly long post is only scratching the surface and is probably unnecessarily long-winded. But alas, it is how I have chosen to approach it. Thanks for sticking around this long. Ta ta!

[astrojoong]

Seonghwa’s Birth Chart

☉ sun in ♈︎ aries  

aries is the child of the zodiac so honestly its no surprise that this is his first life

he’s just so full of wonder and excitement its truly lovely to see

so excited about learning and exploring the world around him

second decanate so his subruler is the sun

aries with a touch of leo flair

the sun subruler adds in just a touch more dignity and pride to aries

reigns in a bit more of aries’ impulsiveness and recklessness 

instead it adds to his hunger to succeed

it also really brings out his showmanship and ability to perform

when he performs he is able to show both raw aggression and passion while also maintaining poise and grace

holds an intense drive which can sometimes be to his own detriment 

has the potential to push himself too hard, and put too much pressure on himself

can have little to no patience or attention span, needs things to be constantly moving and changing, with new challenges arising or else he’ll become bored and dissatisfied 

☽ moon in ♋︎ cancer

(ayyy i have a cancer moon too) 

basically... a whole Mom

ok so the moon is at home in cancer

she’s right where she wants to be so that just means that she is That much more powerful

cancer is a feminine sign and she adds a very soft dimension to his aries sun

cancer is the middle child of the water signs, which means it can either take on a more parental role or a more childlike role-it has the versatility that the youngest and eldest signs lack (same goes for all middle signs)

in Hwa you can definitely see that its taken on the parental role

he is very in touch with his feelings and the feelings of those around him

super intuitive and really just a whole ass caretaker

so incredibly loyal and sensitive and protective

on the flip side this may also make him prone to nagging if he’s not careful, and it likes to team up with his aries sun and make him WAY too hard on himself

can be Incredibly self critical and have the potential to get stuck in ‘moods’ which can bring down everyone else around them (there are actually four fucking cancer moons in ateez idk how they survive if one- or god forbid- multiple of them get moody, my dad and I are both cancer moons and we engage in something I like to call vibe warfare in which we accidentally throw off the Entire balance of the household if one of us is feeling moderately shitty or In Our Feels)

☿ mercury in ♈︎ aries

mercury is pretty happy in aries so theres a lot of benefits to this placement

a wonderful conversationalist

there's that underlying fierceness that aries brings

witty, outspoken, and very original

very jovial in his speech, good at joking around

also very good at arguing.

watch tf if you get on his bad side he can go OFF

very lucky person

normally doesn’t put a Whole lot of thought or planning into decisions but they usually just work out for him

♀ venus in ♒︎ aquarius

maybe not the best at expressing love

I think his cancer moon is a bit at odds with this placement, he feels  all these emotions and can seem like he’s great at expressing them, but he’s really only showing surface emotions

I think he is very good at hiding his true feelings, even if he doesn’t mean to, he keeps certain things very close to his chest

very magnanimous, a great socialite  

personal freedom is very important

people with this sign are a little notorious for not wanting to be tied down, maybe having some commitment issues, we haven’t seen Hwa in a relationship so who knows

did I say freedom was important because freedom is Super important

really is able to satisfy his urges to travel and experience exciting new cultures and situations through his career. He honestly seems super well suited for the industry.

♂ mars in ♈︎ aries

ok mars is at home in aries so you know shit is abt to get INTENSE

much like how his cancer moon makes all his feelings super strong

this is all abt aggression 

essentially if Win by Ateez was a placement

an absolute force of nature

definitely some major self confidence coming through here

very courageous and honest, but potentially a little blunt, especially if he’s worked up

that's when he starts to lose his filter a bit

the good thing is, he doesn’t seem to let his anger build up or fester, he deals with it when it happens

this is also the ✨sexy✨ sign so lets just say he is very Active and... depending on where his houses lie, it could definitely point to him being more assertive in the bedroom. 

♃ jupiter in ♓︎ pisces

Jupiter is essentially the planet that tells you what you should do with your life

I am not surprised he’s in music 

pisces is like Known as the soulful, artistic sign, so the fact that he found his way into a career where he can play to his aries need for passion and power while also expressing himself and his emotions in a creative fashion, and in a way to help others? fucking incredible. 

He has a healing ability to him

Just being around him makes others more at peace

Very interested in/talented in emotional healing

♄ saturn in ♈︎ aries

jfc final aries 

its like his chart is just Oops! All Aries

if Jupiter is the planet of good luck, saturn is the planet of bad luck

saturn is what stands in the way

its not too bad though

it just means that he will have a lot of obstacles that he must continuously fight against in his journey to success

but good news! while it may seem like they’re never-ending, the difficulties begin to let up as he gets older and gains more experience

saturn in aries means he’s ambitious and determined

it may place these obstacles in front of him, but it also gives him the strength to persevere 

♅ uranus in ♒︎ aquarius

ok from here on out, up until chiron, its more generational so I’ll touch on uranus, neptune and pluto in my overall ateez analysis since they all share those signs

♆ neptune in ♒︎ aquarius

♇ pluto in ♐︎ sagittarius

⚷ chiron in ♏︎ scorpio

chiron tells us what our biggest wound is

Seonghwa’s has to do with his self worth and emotions

scorpio is a very intense sign, it doesn’t half ass anything, pain or pleasure

he will go through or will have already gone through something that will be catastrophic to who he is as a person. 

it will/has cause(d) a great deal of emotional pain 

in his life he has to learn how to love and accept himself, how to control his emotions and how to make peace. 

the lesson that must be learned is one of renewal and transformation, of endings and beginnings

⚸ lilith in ♎︎ libra

lilith is meant to represent our innermost psyche

primal urges and base desires

it also shows our fears

Seonghwa’s deepest fear seems to be one of rejection

he needs to find a balance in his life, learn healthy boundaries

he’s very susceptible to other’s opinions and influences 

I feel like it may not be as much of a problem because he has so many other fortunate signs to counteract this but it could be an issue if he isn’t careful

[xnchxntmxnt]

This is my first time ever doing an event so if I put this in the wrong spot I am soooooooo sorry.

Alex

She/her/hers

Virgo

Male but if you really feel female that’s totally cool

I’d describe myself as shy until you know me then I’m weird, I tend to really worry about what people say so putting myself out their can be hard but I’m a super touchy person once I know you

I love photography, reading and cooking/baking

In a partner I want someone who understands that I have bad days/weeks, someone who is funny and honest A big deal breaker would be if they don’t have any respect for those around them and cheating

I switch from wearing all black or dark colors to pretty sundress with bright colors. I love steam punk style and totally wish I could pull it off

The colors that best describe me are probably yellows and blues. And my favorite color is purple

Top 3 songs right now are Just like fire, Vices, and Play with Fire. My music taste varies a lot but my favorite artists are Panic at the Disco, Black Veil Brides, and Pink

Thank you for your writing. Also CONGRATULATIONS!

@maleficents-minion

You did everything great! No worries, that’s exactly how you do this! Thank you for participating & thank you for the congrats! I’m glad you like my writing :)

After reading, I’m gonna put you with…

✧ 𝑌𝑎𝑚𝑎𝑔𝑢𝑐ℎ𝑖 𝑇𝑎𝑑𝑎𝑠ℎ𝑖 ✧

God ur lucky I love this man anyways

✧ 𝐻𝑜𝑤 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑀𝑒𝑡 ✧

Okay, consider,,, Yamaguchi + photography

I can so totally imagine this heads up like

It’s perfect if I do say so myself

He was thrilled because he got a camera he’d been saving for years

This dude was so smiley and couldn’t shut up about the camera

He and Tsukki went to a park to get pictures of the cherry blossoms while they were in bloom because he always thought they were beautiful

When he was there he saw you in his camera for a second, just walking by

He almost dropped the camera jfc

He was like ASDFGHJKL TSUKKI PRETTY GIRL

Tsukki laughed at him like

“Talk to her dummy I’ll hold your camera”

“I CAN’T TALK TO HER SHES TO PRETTY”

“I think she heard you”

He goes BRIGHT RED and just whips around

A couple of feet away you’re staring at the ground, also red, but smiling nevertheless

So he does

He goes over to talk to you and he’s awkward and blushy and smiley but the awkwardness is kinda charming

He tries apologizing and you’re like “no it was kinda cute”

Which makes him more embarrassed but still smiley

You two spend a while talking before Tsukki gets bored and walks over to him and is like “so did you get her number yet” and the process starts all over again

Safe to say, the two of you ended up seeing each other again

✧ 𝐺𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑙 𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠 ✧

Because of how you two met, he calls you his cherry blossom I don’t make the rules (i mean I do but--)

He’s your strawberry

He does the little nose rub thingy a lot

He’ll get excited and he’s lean his forehead against yours, then bump your nose with his, then kiss the end of your nose

Call you beautiful if he’s in a sappy mood

Okay okay consider

E y e l i d k i s s e s

He loves it when you count his freckles

Like he’ll just stare lovingly at you as you ghost your finger over his cheek

Making little constellations or doodles like connecting the dots

He just stares at you with the biggest heart eyes ever

He’s so in love

He’ll love to read with you

Read to him

He’ll read to you

You two can sit with music on and just read your own books and just vibe

Growing up with Tsukki he’s not used to quiet there’s always music on whenever you do anything

Including baking

He’ll steal you away while you’re covered in flour & other things and pull you in and dance with you

He’ll sneak up behind you and snitch food

Sometime’s he’ll help but he likes seeing you so passionate about baking

Honey if you’re having a bad day, he’s the best

You don’t want to talk to anyone? He’ll leave you to your space. Maybe send you a couple of paragraphs about how much he loves you a couple of hours later

You wanna cuddle up and watch tv? He’s there with your favorite snacks

He finds cherry blossom petals and dries them and givens them to you in a little jar for the ~aesthetic~ but also cause they remind him of you

Am I imagining him giving you a jar of petals with a ring at the bottom to propose to you? Not at all why do you ask

you r best bet is just

Love him

Love him a lot

Give him the validation and support he needs and he’ll give it back tenfold

He loves you so much, just love him in return and you’ll be happy forever

✧ 𝐴 𝐷𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑊𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑇𝑎𝑑𝑎𝑠ℎ𝑖 ✧

P I C N I C S

He’s so sappy sometimes but it’s so endearing

For an anniversary or something, he’ll take you to the park where you met and you’ll have a little picnic

Especially during the evening so you can take pictures

He offers to give you a little photoshoot during the sunset

And you accept under the condition that you get to take pictures of him too

So you do and a picture of you becomes his home screen for a long time (it’s always different pictures of you though)

You watch the stars after the sun goes down, talking about anything and everything

It started with him with his head in your lap and you playing with his hair

Then eventually you laid down too and managed to wind up with your head against his chest and curled up against him all comfy

✧ 𝑍𝑜𝑑𝑖𝑎𝑐 𝐶𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑏𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦 ✧

Geminis are very good communicators, which sparks curiosity about Scorpio’s personality (who are not as much so). They’re very good at sparking new ideas and developing them further together. With good communication, they can be a very good fit for each other. Both signs’ egos and pride can become a problem, but if kept in check, it could be a good relationship.

I feel bad there wasn’t a lot of information I could find supporting gemini+scorpio relationships but I said I will go down with this ship so here we are

✧ 𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝐴𝑒𝑠𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑡𝑖𝑐 ✧

You gave me a lot of different ideas and I totally love steampunk! You could totally pull it off. But I think this sums you two up well...

✧ 𝑃𝑙𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡 ✧

Tadashi gives me more chill, bedroom pop/acoustic music vibes, so I tried to find a combination you could both enjoy. Also, I listen to similar music, good choices :)

Cover Me In Sunshine - P!nk

Iris - Sleeping With Sirens

Nine In The Afternoon - Panic! At The Disco

Northern Downpour - Panic! At The Disco

If I’m Lucky - State Champs

Somewhere In Neverland (Acoustic) - All Time Low

Runners up - Azumane Asahi, Sawamura Daichi

[ill-say-anything-i-hafta]

Me last week: I will go see a local production of Heathers: The Musical to help me get over my weird ass Newsies obsession.

Me now: HEY YO, WESTERBERG! What clique would Spot and Race be in?

[juuls]

Pharmacist/Me = 1 🏆 Doctor/Nursing Staff = 0

Thank you in advance for reading this rant. I’ve been really frustrated and just needed to get this off my chest, and today at least I had a wonderful knight in a white lab coat. 🩺❤️‍🩹🥽🥼💪🏻

Content warnings and squicky squicks: (further down there is) an image of a medical vial with a clipped image of a more benign part of a syringe, health conditions (endometriosis, fibromyalgia), menstrual cycles and associated terms such as bleeding and other things, lack of empathy in my specific healthcare system, hysterectomies, pain, swearing and losing patience. Most important warning: self-administered syringes and injection discussions of legal medications (Depo-Provera) approved of by professionals and properly researched. P.S. this may sound rather Karen-like but I would never do this to someone’s face. Online ranting and acknowledging where I could do better is not the same as screaming in public for bossy requests or comps, etc. Ew.

Another ‘warning’… pharmacists being kick-ass allies and giving a damn about their patients.

I’m really annoyed because (and I know healthcare and scheduling is a clusterfuck right now, but…) for over a month now I’ve been trying to get an appointment in person to get this injectable medication that is, yes, birth control, but is also used for endometriosis in my case. And I have severe endometriosis (exacerbated severely by fibromyalgia, siiiiigh) to the point I bleed enough and lose so much I have to go to the hospital when my care is not properly preventative… like in this case, and the pain is unbelievably severe also to the point I’ve spent time in the hospital, including my 11th Christmas Eve and Day. I started this injectable medication at 13 because it was the only thing that came close to helping reduce my endometrial tissue. Even a hysterectomy wouldn’t help as much, unless they decided to go the super invasive route and remove all the organs (or parts of them) that had become ‘infected’ by the tissue. Again, tissue where it’s not supposed to be, and it causes extreme pain as the tissue tries to flush out of my body each period, even if it’s attached to, like, my pancreas. Just no. That does not work at all. No. That is not fun.

SO. I’m 31, nearing 32, and the doctor’s office knows this. I’ve had the same doctor since I was 10. Been on this medication nearly non-stop for just shy of two decades (with appropriate precautions such as bone density tests) because of the absolute severity of the pain and my inability to function when it hits… which can be months at a time of non-stop bleeding and morning sickness-level nausea and vomiting, migraines and the occasional complete inability to move—in other words, it’s debilitating.

My doctor (even the nurses, as it’s in large print at the top of my file in the system) knows all about this. They’re supposed to call me if I’m overdue by a certain margin (I get they’re busy but months and months???). But my doc’s also a bit of an airhead (albeit a smart one when he focuses) and takes forever to reply to anything on time, even when it’s a severe issue, but not severe enough to go to the hospital. But it’s gotten to the point where the nurses say to go to the ER and then the ER nurses and doctors there get SUPER pissed off (AT ME AND SOMEHOW NOT AT MY DOCTOR/NURSES AND THEIR ORDERS) at the ‘waste of time’, and it’s just a clusterfuck.

Oh yeah, and that ER visit while I was overdue for my injection? Internal intestinal bleeding along with a lovely, even if small, perforation in my fucking uterus from the growth of endometrial tissue. I MEAN COME ON — WHAT IN THE HELL. Totally preventable if they fit me in when I called literally over a month ago.

But I will not change my doctor (the other docs at the practice know what is going on and have offered to take me on, but they don’t have the experience with myself and my conditions or the history, but they can do little else because of professional conduct—it’s between myself and my doc) because he is the only one who treats me with humanity and understands fibromyalgia, endometriosis, pre-MS and pre-RhA/PsA, endo-related IBS, (ulcerative) colitis, and other neurological conditions with any degree of empathy. (See, I told you I’m a mess!) There is no way I’m switching offices in the perpetual shortage of doctors in Canada moving elsewhere for m o n e y (plus Covid-19 being a teen hooligan and constantly coming back to wreck more goddamn shit, including everyone’s sanity, then setting things on fire like the real hooligans in my village have been doing this summer — I mean… what in the hell!?!?), so with all that in mind I actually thank my lucky stars. So I put up with a lot of this shit because he treats me, besides him being an airhead, like an actual human being deserving of compassion and care and quality of life despite my severe disabilities and pain. So.

I’m usually treated really well (even if they often think I’m a nuisance for daring to be severely chronically ill/in pain all the time) so I try to be patient and good and understanding when I can.

But his STAFF (I know they’re busy and I’ve been patient but they’ve been so awful honestly to the point I cried hard enough my dad noticed my red eyes and frustration-tear fracks on my face)! And the doc himself’s inability to reply to notes on time even when urgent and when he knows the circumstances (I admit I am a bit of a hard patient so I can understand if he just kinda ignores me sometimes, honestly). But in this case I was THREE DAMN MONTHS LATE for my injection and they’ve always called in the past when I was coming due if it looked like I hadn’t scheduled an injection, so that I was all on time and squared away and didn’t risk severe pain and damage to my already-fucked hormonal system (learning I couldn’t have kids was absolutely heartbreaking, let me tell you, but even a hysterectomy in that case would solve nothing — this is by far the easiest option, especially considering how my fibromyalgia would fuck with my post-surgery recovery and leave me with lasting pain for years if not decades; sigh).

Anyway. So. After some ridiculous levels of back and forth and some truly remarkable levels of lack of compassion (she kept giving me the exact same, word for word response in a bored tone UGH) considering the severe pain I was in (I was told, in front of OTHER PATIENTS AND STAFF, that I could just wait until I talk to the doctor myself at my next phone appointment and then schedule my injection for my next MONTHLY followup — 4.5 months overdue at that point, it would’ve been — because, and I quote, ‘am used to dealing with pain because of my fibromyalgia and years of dealing with it and other conditions’ which they named in front of others!!!!!!!! what. the. fuck. But I kept my cool because I know all these people, my mom taught their kids music, they’re a fixture of the community, etc. and I refuse to be a Karen…. At least externally.

But here comes the nice part that makes me love our new (okay, he’s been here like 5 years but still, in a small town that’s pretty new lmao) pharmacist that much more. Rasik was aware of my frustration with the doctor and nurses and was even the one who brought to my attention that, at the time, I was 2 months late for my injection and he was a bit concerned since he’s privy to how much pain I exist in without throwing in one or more knives directly into my womb, ovaries, tummy, hips, and other areas my endometrial tissue has taken root. He’s such a sweetheart and he really does care for his patients— the work he does with my father’s diabetes (the tricky one where you’re not obese) management is above and beyond the call of a pharmacist and I will forever be grateful for that alone, never mind how he cares for me.

So I went in today to pick up another medication, after yet another frustrating stop-over at the nurses’ desks, and he suggested I ask for my injectable medication (it’s Depo-Provera, by the way) and the syringe plus the two tips necessary — I’m actually familiar with this since I had to learn epinephrine injections from an early age (not Epipen) and how to give testosterone daily to my ex-husband (sorry not sorry, dude, but congrats on your first kid *grouchy thumbs up*). But yeah! Legally he’s not allowed to suggest I give it to myself, but he was getting super fed up with the nurses and doctors dragging their feet and ‘being assholes with little empathy’ in his own words, so I took the hint and requested my vial plus syringe, as well as the drawing and injection gauge needles…. which he gleefully filled for me, and I reiterated that it was ‘fully my idea, not yours, Rasik, because everyone knows I’m dumb and would never think it’s you if something happened’ (I’m not dumb and I’ve given injections to others many times looool).

Long story short: HERE’S TO PHARMACISTS AROUND THE WORLD, BEING AMAZING AND CARING FOR THEIR PATIENTS AND ‘BENDING BUT NOT REALLY BENDING’ THE RULES TO MAKE SURE THEIR CLIENTS ARE CARED FOR PROPERLY. They are amazing and deserve every last bit of your courtesy, especially when they pull double duty every. single. day. because of Covid and their subsequent boosters. (i.e. boosters in the form of humans who are fucking stupid if they have no medical reason not to get the vaccine… I mean JFC.)

Rasik? You are amazing and I am 100% going to find you some Indian-Canadian (or North Indian; I believe that’s where he’s from originally) treats or desserts or make some myself after slyly asking his assistant what he leans toward liking.

Be kind to one another, yeah, but… my goodness: be kind to those who can truly make a difference in your health, sanity, and even life or death.

Pharmacists, volunteers, and frontline health workers: the true heroes of these times.

Thank you so much. So very much.

💜💙🇨🇦👨🏽‍⚕️❤️‍🩹🙏🏻

P.S. … now I just gotta stab myself intramuscularly after making sure there’s no air bubbles and etc., and swap out to the proper gauge needle (different, smaller, to draw from the vial, larger to inject so that it goes in more quickly and, oddly enough, hurts less haha). I don’t think air bubbles are as much of an issue as when injecting intravenously (ummm I have a doctor uncle and grandma nurse and nurse friends, so shush 😆). But I’ve done this for others and animals so I should be good! :)

I’m a smart enough cookie even if I’ve lost a few nibble-size pieces around the edges. 😉😘 buahaha

Cheers to my pharmacist!!!! You are amazing and I can’t wait for the pain and months and months of bleeding to settle down.

Remind me again why humans are the only mammals (animals?) with monthly fluxes? UGH wtf ever. 🙃

[friiday-thirteenth]

13, 20, 35, 44, 62, 70, 85, 99, 107, 113 :D

ah thank u for the ask!! my hands are shaking as I type this fun fact :)

13 - what tv show would recommend everyone to watch?

look. doctor who. it's actually surprisingly low energy to watch in many episodes, it's got good messages, it's really fun.

20 - what is ur favourite season?

winter. it's cold and windy and absolutely brilliant. I run hot, so the cold makes me rlly happy and also I lord it over everyone else when they're wearing their little jackets and still cold and im in a t-shirt and shorts. I find it rlly funny

35 - do u prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?

behind it bc im just too sexy for any photo to do me justice 😔 also im good at taking photos and i like helping.

44 - what makes u smile?

my tumblr mutuals <3 y'all are amazing and brilliant and stupendous and also on crack most of the time. and yes, I am talking to u. if ur reading this, it's abt u. even if u aren't my mutual. take the bloody love and affection, please.

62 - do u like sunrises or sunsets better?

sunset bc it looks like the sky is bleeding light, and I do mean this in a completely non-edgy way. it's just... really pretty. and my room faces the sunset, and it is so beautiful, I love it.

70 - do u prefer to read on electronic devices or from a book?

books have smell and texture and don't hurt my eyes and they sound good and are just better. everything else sucks (for me) bc they hurt my eyes + aren't as much sensory input.

85 - what is ur favourite app?

Spotify bc I need music to function lmao.

99 - what is ur favourite piece of advice someone has given you?

at the time I fucking hated it, but it helped. "people are always going to take every opportunity to make you cry. don't let them." told to me be a substitute after my entire fucking class bullied me to the point of tears when I was twelve. first time someone hadn't made it my fault, and hadn't just told me to grow a thicker skin - she told me to become untouchable and so I did. and it doesn't matter to anyone who bullied me, but it sure as fuck matters to me and it's helped so much.

107 - do you believe that people are capable of change?

(not an attack on u just a lil rant) tf of course they are. firstly, that question is fucking stupid because it doesn't specify the type of change- physical, emotional, mental, behavioral etc. secondly, even if it did, it's still idiotic, simply because studies show that at points in our lives, we all change. we don't fucking stay as babies forever. I hate this question. we are constantly evolving and adapting to new situations each and every day. I pity the person who believes others cannot change, because they've clearly never thought a thought in their stagnant little life.

113 - what's the best decision you've made in ur life so far?

being friends with my bestie rn. she's absolutely fucking amazing and i love her so much. jfc my irl friends are all brilliant, actually.

I love everyone I label as friend, btw. so like. u guys get the love. 💞

[kangtaebins]

Weird Asks That Say A Lot

I said I was going to just answer all of these bc of boredom,, and so here I am

1. Coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? Teacups are aesthetically pleasing idc what anyone says

2. Chocolate bars or lollipops? Lollipops

3. Bubblegum or cotton candy? Cotton candy supremacy

4. How did your elementary school teachers describe you? I was told that I was a leader a lot, and was told that I was very intelligent. Ah yes, I suffered from gifted kid burn out in high school-

5. Do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? Look, plastic cups are the best. Specifically the ones with the lids and reusable straws

6. Pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? It truly depends on the day bc some days I would say goth and other days I’d say grunge, but most days- pastel

7. Earbuds or headphones? Earbuds

8. Movies or TV shows? TV shows bc- idk actually I’m just not a movie person

9. Favorite smell in the summer? I have a weird obsession with the smell of cheap sunscreen and I have no clue why

10. Game you were best at in p.e.? I hated gym in high school and rarely participated despite the teacher being irritated with me (truly she gave up after a few months bc I really did not care at all) HOWEVER- I went to town in volleyball and still enjoy playing volleyball v much

11. What do you have for breakfast on an average day? I don’t eat breakfast often,,, 

12. Name of your favorite playlist? Probably my Navy or Indigo playlist

13. Lanyard or key ring? Key ring 

14. Favorite non-chocolate candy? Anything green apple!!!

15. Favorite book you read as a school assignment? I actually genuinely enjoyed Romeo And Juliet tbh

16. Most comfortable position to sit in? I always curl up in a ball on the couch, but in a chair I manspread ngl

17. Most frequently worn pair of shoes? Nike slides <//3

18. Ideal weather? Between 50-70 degrees, sunny but not warm, being able to wear a hoodie and not be hot or cold

19. Sleeping position? I usually either sleep on my left side or on my stomach (my back once in a while when it’s hurting bc I’m a hag)

20. Preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? I write on my phone more than anything

21. Obsession from childhood? Hm- I was really obsessed with High School Musical as a kid. My friend and I would put it on and lip sync to the songs and pretend we were the characters

22. Role model? Is it- wrong to say myself? Bc I feel like that sounds arrogant but genuinely it’s bc I’m constantly trying to better myself mentally and learn and grow. Idk I just am proud of who I am and look to myself when I need to find motivation

23. Strange habits? Strange? Idk if it’s strange but I’m constantly twiddling with the hem of my sleeves bc I love the feeling of it

24. Favorite crystal? Citrine 

25. First song you remember hearing? WH- bitch idk tf

26. Favorite activity to do in warm weather? Stay tf inside in the air conditioning

27. Favorite activity to do in cold weather? Stay tf inside in the heat

28. Five songs to describe you? To describe me?? Girl idk I'm all over the place. How about songs that resonate with me instead,,, Alive by Khalid, Paranoid by Lauv, Phobia by Dvwn, Fake Smile by Ariana Grande, and Breathin by Ariana Grande

29. Best way to bond with you? Truly I'm not very difficult to get along with, just don't be an asshole. Talk to me about psychology, current events, say Soobin is the cutest to exist idk it's not that hard

30. Places that you find sacred? I- hm. I'm not like a church person or anything so idk. Maybe just anything really old or places with very detailed and unique architecture

31. What outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? I don't own many clothes,,, let alone nice clothes. I also don't really dress to impress I'd much rather be comfortable

32. Top five favorite vines? Oh god if I h a d to pick???? The lipstick in the Valentino bag, they were roommates, it's an avocado- thaaanks, jared 19, and uh,,, zach stooppp you're gonna get in trouble

33. Most used phrase in your phone? Tbh it's probably "girl what-" or "no bc"

34. Advertisements you have stuck in your head? That 877-CASH-NOW ONE JFC

35. Average time you fall asleep? Between 11pm-1am

36. What is the first meme you remember ever seeing? Probably the troll face one or smth

37. Suitcase or duffel bag? Suitcase

38. Lemonade or tea? I mix them together!

39. Lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? Lemon meringue pie bc I don't really like cake

40. Weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? Y'all I- went to a hs/college mixed school,, I've seen it all. Weirdest?? Idk but one weird thing I remember was when we were making whistles in art and some dude made a penis whistle 😭

41. Last person you texted? My best friend :))

42. Jacket pockets or pants pockets? Jacket pockets

43. Hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? Hoodie 100%

44. Favorite scent for soap? I love soaps that smell like soap. Like ok duh I know that sounds dumb but yk what I mean? I don't want lemon or mint or whatever, I like the plain soap smell

45. Which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? Fantasy

46. Most comfortable outfit to sleep in? Oversized t-shirt, no pants. I question anyone that is comfortable sleeping with pants on-

47. Favorite type of cheese? Feta!

48. If you were a fruit, what kind would you be? I feel like I'd be a pineapple and I have no clue why

49. What saying or quote do you live by? Not necessarily a quote but more of a thought: live for yourself, enjoy each day, do what gives you joy

50. What made you laugh the hardest you ever have? I have had so many instances in which I have laughed so hard I peed and to even attempt to name one is impossible

51. Current stresses? Making sure my family gets their vaccines and stays safe

52. Favorite font? I don't think I have one? Anything except comic sans

53. What is the current state of your hands? What does this even mean 💀 I mean,, they're holding my phone, cold, and my nails are unpolished

54. What did you learn from your first job? That people are assholes but I'm capable of not giving a fuck bc life is not that damn serious

55. Favorite fairy tale? Is The Three Little Pigs considered a fairy tale?

56. Favorite tradition? Putting up the Christmas tree with my mom :( it's always a lot of fun

57. The three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? Depression, grief, and hopefully one day- smth I'm currently dealing with

58. Four talents you’re proud of having? Makeup!! But also: singing, crying on command, and tying cherry stems with my tongue

59. If you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? Sick of these bitches

60. If you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? I don't watch anime so idk

61. Favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? It's this line from Eleanor & Park: "Eleanor was right: She never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn't supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something."

62. Seven characters you relate to? Holy hell, 7?? Probably won't get that many but hm,,, Darlene from Roseanne, Hermione from Harry Potter, Emily from Pretty Little Liars maybe?? Idk I suddenly blanked

63. Five songs that would play in your club? As if it's Your Last by BP, anything from SHINee, anything from Ariana, also anything Rihanna, just a bunch of women tbh

64. Favorite website from your childhood? FUCKING WEBKINZ BRO

65. Any permanent scars? I have a few on my arms idk where they came from tbh, I also have one on my hand from my sister 🧍🏻‍♀

66. Favorite flower(s)? Sunflowers!!! I also really love lilacs 💔

67. Good luck charms? My dog's collar that I wear as a bracelet

68. Worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? Licorice-

69. A fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? It takes repeating a piece of information 12 times at random to memorize it completely

70. Left or right handed? Right

71. Least favorite pattern? Fucking chevron- and realistic camo, and anything with the American flag

72. Worst subject? Yall im awful at history. American history, world history, all of it-

73. Favorite weird flavor combo? Either pickles and peanut butter or cheese and grapes

74. At what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? I'm stubborn but also always in pain so I've become numb to a lot of body pains. I have to be at like a 7-8 before I take smth otherwise I'd always be taking it

75. When did you lose your first tooth? I was probably like 5 I was definitely in Kindergarten

76. What’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? I fw baked potatoes

77. Best plant to grow on a windowsill? I have a love for succulents

78. Coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? Oh my- I don't drink coffee but coffee from a gas station

79. Which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? Driver's license for sure

80. Earth tones or jewel tones? Jewel tones

81. Fireflies or lightning bugs? I say both,, but I think I say lightning bugs more

82. PC or console? PC

83. Writing or drawing? Both

84. Podcasts or talk radio? Podcasts definitely

84. Barbie or polly pocket? Barbie

85. Fairy tales or mythology? Fairy tales

86. Cookies or cupcakes? C o o k i e s

87. Your greatest fear? Losing people I love

88. Your greatest wish? To live comfortably and be a great mother

89. Who would you put before everyone else? My family

90. Luckiest mistake? Guessing on 90% of a test and getting an A 💀

91. Boxes or bags? Bags are easier to carry-

92. Lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? Fairy lights!!

93. Nicknames? Sam, Sammi, my sister calls me Sams, my best friend calls me Bub, and my gf calls me Baby if that counts- 👀

94. Favorite season? Fall omg it's gorgeous and has perfect temperatures

95. Favorite app on your phone? ✨tumblr✨

96. Desktop background? Its literally a pic of Soobin, Taehyun, and Beomgyu

97. How many phone numbers do you have memorized? Like 4-5

98. Favorite historical era? The one where white people learn their fucking place and stop being racist, homophobic, classist, sexist, all the -ists and -phobics,,,, so none. Fuck history :))

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #300

that’s a lot of time wasted, lmao

If you were a witch, which animal would be your familiar? Could I have like, a melanistic barn owl? That'd be dope. They're fuckin gorgeous. If there's a design on your shirt, what is it? Ha, speaking of owls... Would you ever visit a ghost town? MOTHERFUCKER would I. Bringing my camera, too. What would you do if you found out your life was only a simulation controlled by someone else? I have a very much Detroit: Become Human (phenomenal game, btw) outlook on this: I think, therefore I am. It honestly wouldn't affect me terribly. I sure would hate my creator though, jfc, lmao. What's the scariest thing you've accidentally found on the internet? Okay so there is this one video filmed by some guys who had this really strange, sulking guy in black stalking them, and it ends with the suspected murderer slinking over to the guys (who were by this point finding it almost funny, due to how the man was acting) and charging with a knife, I think, once he was very close. I believe the men were never found afterwards. It is SO goddamn unnerving. Is there anything bothering you right now? Not to be a Negative Nancy, but when isn't there lmao. Thinking of every Halloween costume you've had, which one was the most creative? I never had creative ones, really. What's the picture on your calendar for this month? I don't have a relevant calender, just old meerkat ones on a wall in my room. If you were a mythical creature, which would you be? As much as I love dragons, they're targeted too much in fantasy to kill, so let's not, haha. Being a dryad would be cool. Or druid. Either/or. If you were an animal, which would you be? A housecat, ig. Were you ever bullied when you were younger and how did you handle it? I consider myself very lucky to have not been. Have you ever thrown something away and then wanted it back? Okay so it's "deleted" versus "thrown away," technically, but there are two senior prom pictures in specific I desperately want back because fuck my low self-esteem, I look beautiful in them and so damn happy. I even tried Facebook restore programs that supposedly recovered all pictures you ever removed, but I couldn't salvage them. I'm still pissed about it, haha. What's one random city you want to visit? I don't have a specific city, per se. More so just countries in general. If you owned a store, what would you most likely sell? I think owning a pet supply store would be really cool, with some animals that are actually very well-cared for, unlike chain pet stores. I HATE those, vehemently. So unspeakably ignorant and neglectful. If you had a garden, what sort of plants would you grow? I don't want a garden, but hypothetically, I'd love orchids, dahlias, tiger lilies, a weeping willow tree, some strawberries... What's your favorite phase of the moon? Full, of course. What's the song for your life right now? I've felt extremely connected to Seether's "Weak" lately. Do you believe that when you die, you get to see all your loved ones again? I hope so... Who would you be the most excited to see? DO I ACTUALLY NEED TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION?????????? Do you enjoy reading National Geographic magazines? If I'm like, sitting in a waiting room and they're available, I'll go for them. Do you know anyone who's serving in the military right now? Welcome to the South, baby. The boys graduate, they're going straight for the military. I only have one real friend who was one but left tho because he fucking hated it. Does or did either of your parents serve in the military? No. Has anything in your house ever caught on fire? Not in this house, no. As a small child, did you ever feel as if you were different or weird? Absofuckinglutely. I have A LOT of bad memories of instances where I felt like "the weird kid." Can you say "happy birthday" in another language? Omg... I forgot the German phrase. Wow, I'm rusty. What subjects do you or did you get the worst grades in? Math. Do you have photos to go with all of the contacts in your phone? I don't have pictures that go with any. Who was the last person to comment on one of your photos on Facebook and how did you meet that person? I just checked, and it was my friend Summer. I met her because she was actually first friends with my younger sister in pre-k, but we grew closer than they did in our teen years. What career paths are you considering? I just want to be a photographer. So badly. But I've felt super, super discouraged lately. Do you watch music videos? I pretty much never do, but rather listen through the artists' Topic uploads or lyric videos. I don't generally like official music videos because they tend to have other sounds/parts/breaks/etc. in them that distract from the song. Have you ever clicked on those banner ads that promise a prize for clicking? Probably by accident at some point in time. What kind of computer are you using? Acer Nitro. What kind of computer do you wish you were using? I'm fine with what I have. Have you ever had a weight change so drastic you went to the doctor? .-. How cold does it have to be before you put on a sweater? Depends on how long I'll be outside, but in most situations, in the 50s. Do you eat things off the floor? Um, ew. Who do people say you look like? My sisters. Do you usually get your homework done on time? When I was in school, I was very serious about having my homework finished by the date it was due. Have you ever framed your old movie ticket stubs? I've kept some, but never framed any. Do you have a digital camera? A Canon, yeah. Have you ever stuck something inappropriate in an electrical outlet? Bitch I ain't tryna get electrocuted. How many days has it been since your last birthday? My b-day is actually coming up soon; the 5th of February. Do you want any more siblings than you have now? Well, considering both my parents (and stepmom) are in their 50s... How easily shocked are you? VERY. I am extremely jumpy and on edge at like all times. You like the color blue, don't you? I mean yeah. Particularly the lighter tints. Who was the last person who asked you something that made you think? My therapist REEEEAAAALLY makes me do this. She's an absolute pro at getting me to dig deep into myself. Ever fired a gun? No, and I don't want to. From 1-10, how would you rate your cooking skills? Is 0 an option? Do you notice the heat or the cold more? HEAT, JESUS FUCK. It can be one or two degrees above what I consider stable and I'll be sweating. I'm hypersensitive to it I know from being in such a consistent temperature in my room like 24/7. Do you believe in miracles? Probably no. What hurts more: scratches or bites? Bites, if you're talking serious ones. Do you prefer rabbits to mice? No, mice (and especially rats) are absolutely amazing, intelligent animals. Bonus points for being mega cute too, though I do find rabbits cuter. Who out of all the people you know reasonably well is the most "dark?" Sara, haha. Favorite chocolate-based candy? Reese's. Do you call anyone babe or baby? My pets sometimes. Name me a food you used to like that you now don't: Peas, olives. Name me a food you now like but never used to: Mashed potatoes, IF prepared very well (by my standards, obviously). Would you rather live in Europe, The US, or Australia? By this point, take me to Europe. If it wouldn't be such a huge life change and leaving so many people, I would 120% move to Canada, but out of these, Europe will do. Would you rather have a big house, a lot of kids, or a high flying job? Give me the high-flying job, 100%. I don't want kids, and I have no need for a large house. Is crime a big problem in your area? Oh yes. What’s your town/city most well-known for? By the locals, being the crime hub, actually, lol. Name 5 objects that you don’t have but would like right now: Hmmm... I want a 40g tank as an upgrade for Venus, a gaming chair for when I turn the extra room into my "office" so I don't destroy my back sitting there, new glasses and a driving permit, and don't forget a gd tattoo needle pounding my skin. :^) If you were given the choice to choose your child’s gender, would you? Yes, I would absolutely want a girl just because IF I wanted kids, I'd want a daughter named Alessandra. Do you get along well with your family doctor/your doctor? Yeah, she's nice. What types of soups do you like? None. If a color could reflect your current mood, which would it be? Grayish blue. The last time you saw fireworks? I really don't know; it's been years, at least. Have you ever gone to a movie premiere? Possibly for Silent Hill: Revelation, but I'm not certain. Who was the last person to make you laugh out loud? My mom, because she made me remember something funny. What was the last commercial you heard selling? *shrug* Do you prefer fairly common names or a bit out of the ordinary ones? Oh, definitely rare and unique ones. Would you rather have a pet cat, dog, horse or tortoise? At this current time, a dog for Mom, which we're actually probably getting. She misses having one super badly. Is your laugh loud, normal or very silent? My laugh is loud and obnoxious as fuck. What are you interested in that most people would be surprised to know? Tarantulas, probably. I love them, even though spiders kinda scare me. Last movie you watched the whole way through? Elf, I think, with Sara's fam. What's your favorite fruit? Strawberries are where it's at. Last time you drank coffee? I've only ever sipped coffee to try to see if I liked it. Never have. I THINK I last took a sip of Sara's when we went on a breakfast date? Has anyone ever called you rich? Calling me rich would be entirely ludicrous. What makes you feel beautiful? Nothing. How many bathrooms are in your house? Two. Last time you were on a plane and where did you go? A couple years ago, coming home from Illinois. Favorite flavor muffin? Uggghhhh chocolate. Do you prefer stripes or polka dots? Polka dots. I tend to find circles visually appealing. Did you take Music when you were in school? I think all the elementary school students did. I was also in band in middle and high school; I played the flute. Why did you last feel like crying? I'm just sick of how my life is going. Do you find being alone with strangers scary, interesting, or indifferent? I find it either awkward or terrifying, depending on the gender. It's not a willing thing or intended sexism whatsoever, I'm just naturally afraid of men. Do your initials spell a legitimate word? If so, what? No. Does someone’s background affect whether you'll be friends with them or not? Well, it depends on what they've done. How about their religious background? No. If someone admitted cheating in a past relationship of theirs, would you trust them? Nope, bye. Did you ever want to be a cook as a kid? No. How about a fashion designer? No. Do you prefer fire or ice? Fire aesthetically, but ice is certainly less intimidating. When happy, do you become more talkative? OH yes. Are you offended easily by non-politically correct language? No, really. I wouldn't say derogatory terms, but I really don't understand why most people put so much weight into a single made-up word. But again, you won't hear that language coming out of my mouth because I understand that it just does hurt some people, and I respect that. Do you think the censors/fcc go a bit too far or are just right? It's gone overboard, imo. What's your I.Q? I don't want to know, haha. Have you ever taken a martial art? Which one{s}? No. Do you know anyone who is scared of you? Um, no. What person who has died would you bring back and why? Probably Steve Irwin. His children have done FUCKING FANTASTIC at carrying on his legacy and purpose, but I feel he could've taught the world so much more than he had time to... Do you like watermelon? No. Too watery. Can you remember the month of your first kiss? Yes, actually. March. What do you think is the most interesting thing about you? I'm unsure, really. Do you like being complimented or does it make you uncomfortable? Both. What artist's paintings do you find the most beautiful? This is an impossible question. What about the most disturbing? Oh man, I watch this one person on deviantART that makes especially creepy artwork. I follow a loooot of dark artists, though, so it's difficult to pick. Have you ever gone to a camp or summer school? A church-related summer thing, yes, as a kid. What was your favorite cartoon as a child? Pokemon was/is where it's at. What was your biggest fear as a child? Thunderstorms, holy shit. Would you rather be able to fly or breathe underwater? Be able to breathe underwater. What about invisibility or mindreading? Definitely invisibility. Mindreading would just... suck. Hurt. Especially if you couldn't control it. Which stereotype do you dislike the most? Good question, considering I hate a shit ton. Can you remember all your past teachers names? No, not all of them. Do you like talent shows? Which ones? I don't mind watching 'em. I particularly used to love America's Got Talent. Have you ever failed an important exam? In what? Yes; I failed horribly at my final math exam the last time I was in school. Are you on any meds? Too many. Just way too many for someone my age. I'm really starting to think I'm over-medicated to where it's dulling my senses, feelings, and also destroying my memory. But I kinda need like... all of them. I'm talking to my psychiatrist in just a couple days though, actually, and I'm going to talk to him about maybe trying to wean me off my OCD med, since I haven't had big symptoms in a long time. I wanna see how I deal without it. What color is your razor? Black and orange. What is your fave frozen treat? Just the classic ice cream. Which supermarket do you like to shop at? We tend to get our groceries from Wal-Mart. Do you struggle to say ‘no’ to things you don’t want to do? YESSIREE. Are you friends with someone a lot of people dislike? I don't think there's anyone that is widely disliked, no. Have you ever had to deal with someone close to you going off to war? No, thankfully. Other than yourself, who did you last buy something for? Mom. What's something you complain about frequently? My legs hurting. It's hard to ignore when taking one step is painful. Have you ever talked about your period with a guy? Were they okay with it, or grossed out? I certainly haven't talked about it in-depth, but it's been mentioned in some way when I was with Jason. I mean we were together for three and a half years, sexually active (and I ain't doing jackshit if it's that time of the month), and I spent as much time with him as possible, so... it woulda came up. I'm sure he was indifferent about it, he was a mature guy. Have you ever been to an Asian (any type) market? If so, what is the closest one to you? No. I've never even heard of one around here. Have you ever slept with a member of the opposite sex without having sex? Back up two questions, haha. That was normal. How would you feel if your significant other had tattoos? Shit man, I love tattoos. I'd obviously not care. How have you been feeling today? Depressed. Where’s your phone right now? On my chest. I'm lying down. Is there a certain person that makes you feel safe? ugh When you drink alcohol with friends, do you play drinking games? I never have. What are the best kind of Girl Scout cookies? I don't remember their names, honestly... but the chocolate and peanut butter ones come to mind.

[anxiety-trademark]

The week in review:

Raw 12/14 NXT 12/16 NXT UK 12/17 Smackdown 12/18 TLC 12/20 + Main Event 12/17

Raw:

“This Sunday at tlc, it’s gonna be you and me against Nia and Shayna,” Lana says to Asuka, as a quiet ‘woo’ can be heard in the distance.

Lana facing her fears and fighting Nia Jax makes her the bravest person Asuka knows. Rolling. Fucking Asuka. ASUKA. wwe, stop.

Why isn’t Asuka accompanying Lana to the ring?

I like Lana’s gear.

Joe just compared Lana to a mosquito, goodbye.

Oh snap look how fast Lana did that headscissors takedown. We’re witnessing her progression, ladies and gents.

You know, I knew Lana would win this match, I knew exactly how she would win this match, but jfc what a treat watching it myself. 

Nia’s face lmfao.

Shayna wrecking Asuka so she can’t save Lana from her inevitable fate. Still curious on whether or not this beatdown injured her, if she was injured going into the match, or if it was all really just a storyline.

Yikes this is sad.

Man that leg drop onto Lana’s ankle actually looked kinda wicked, ngl.

*distant woo intensifies*

Wow we got real tears from Lana. Points.

Becky and Charlotte have been gone, Alexa hasn’t been on tv, the Raw women’s championship has become a meaningless prop... what a dead period for this roster.

Hi why is this match happening?

I will never not be impressed by Dana’s entrance.

Is Mandy actually hurt? Why did they take her off tv for so long? Is Shayna the resident kayfabe shelver? “Hey this girl is actually injured, have her written off by Shayna” ?? Cuz I know they’re not splitting Dana and Mandy up, and Dana has been on tv every week since Mandy left. Must be genuine.

These 2 are running roughshod over the entire division at this point.

OH SHIT MANDY’S BACK WITH A KENDO STICK

Lmfao the babyfaces are fucking done with Nia and Shayna. Honestly that’s great, I love it when babyfaces band together to stand up to dominant duos. This has been going on long enough. They took out Mandy, took out Lana, were about to take out Dana. Totally fair.

Highlight: Lana getting a clean win over Nia & being taken out so my queen can return

---

NXT:

It’s a funny thing with Toni and Rhea. Toni says she’s the reason Rhea came to nxt, but she’s also the reason I became such a huge fan of Rhea’s. Heard they were having some big TakeOver match and everyone was always praising Toni. So I checked into Blackpool solely to see what the Toni Storm fuss was about, and I left that ppv solely impressed by Rhea Ripley. Then I took particular notice of Rhea in the Royal Rumble a few weeks later, and I’ve been watching NXT UK for her ever since (til she moved). To see her growth has been tremendous, and she’s so young. Such a bright future.

The music to this is great.

Toni says she isn’t scared of Rhea, as if Rhea’s mere theme music didn’t scare the absolute shit out of Toni the week prior lol.

Toni’s not even a terrible promo, but the timing of her blinks could not be worse. Yes, it matters.

I can’t stop laughing at how fucking intensely Shotzi started this interview.

She does pissed off interviews well. I can feel her annoyance.

Really don’t want to see a Candice/Shotzi feud tbh but okay, I’ll try.

aaand there’s the howl. Awful.

Lmfao Rhea called Toni a piece of trash. This is gonna be interesting to see with the alignments reversed.

I don’t remember who won this match, but I’m betting it was Toni. Which is fair tbh. Rhea is probably on the “put some peeps over before moving up to the main roster” path that everyone in the women’s division walks on. They always eat at least one monumental, or a couple meaningful, loss(es).

Oh man that is fucked up. To not only be forced to continue punching/kicking a human (fun fact: the person on the offense takes quite the damage doing so) but to have the defenseless victim bleed out and beg for you to stop. That’s rough.

This was shot really well. That music holy shit, I’m creeped out. It’s like a horror movie.

I see the point. Numbs him to pain and breaks his will, while numbing her to mercy. Ruthless stuff.

Oh are we finally done with Indi’s neck brace? Cool.

I can’t believe wwe invested in this upgraded tank. I still don’t think it’d work on the MR, but points to the boss for shelling out the cash.

Wtf was that stumble and “fall” by Indi lmao.

If Candice was a real bully, she’d distract Shotzi by fucking with her tank at ringside.

Indi does need a mentor, she’s a hell of a lot greener than my mutuals have made it sound. oof.

Shotzi looks like she has no idea how to work with Indi, and Indi looks gassed, confused, and slow as hell.

All Indi knows it going from spot to spot while Shotzi waits around for her to get there.

Lol Indi failed at getting a dirty win. I don’t really care if this is a part of her The Way storyline, what a mess.

The only redeeming part of this piss poor segment was Theory shaking the troll’s head at Shotzi.

I’ll give wwe an extra $9.99 if they let this match have a clean ending.

“[Rhea] was at one point the biggest superstar in the world,” that isn’t even close to being true because Becky Lynch exists, but I’ll let it slide and pretend you said “in nxt”.

Their paths will be so similar to Becky and Charlotte in the future.

Wow what a sequence. That would’ve received an applause on the MR. Traded headlocks for restholds, threw around their strength, then went into a battle of pinfall reversals. Instead of following that with some stalemate, they didn’t take a breath and proceeded to dance with each other and showcase some chemistry before rolling back into a battle of pinfall reversals. The sequence started with a kick by Toni to Rhea’s midsection, and it ends with a kick by Rhea to Toni’s midsection. Peep that match production, good stuff.

My, my, those slaps to Toni’s back. Whew.

Yeah actually it’s really fucking cool that these 2 get to main event nxt together, come to think of it.

They sell well for each other.

Rhea has the best dropkicks, lesbireal.

Holy shit Toni’s headbutts make my own head hurt. God I wish she wouldn’t. Most people put their hands between the heads so no contact can be made, but Toni’s just like “lol fuck it”

This is a great match. This duo works a lot better with these specific alignments. Watching face Toni try to chop down Rhea is not as good as heel Toni being impossibly hard for Rhea to put away.

Women’s matches and never having a clean ending. Name a more iconic duo. Winter of overbooked women’s matches continues.

Like I had guessed Toni was gonna win anyway, but fucking come on.

*Bonus* online exclusive: Toni says playing by the rules got her diddly and squat, but like... she was a champion lol. “It ain’t even Toni time right now, it’s party time.” Alright.

Highlight: Rhea vs Toni minus the ending

---

NXT UK:

I don’t know why we’re getting Isla Dawn vs KLR but anytime I get to see KLR fight, I’m here for it.

Hell even Isla’s song never kicks it out of first gear. Song has so much potential but it never goes to the next level.

Ahhhh my Scottish queen is here.

No, don’t compare Sasha’s basement meteora to the double knees Isla did. That was pitiful.

Anyway, KLR vs any of the 4hw would be fantastic, take my money. Sasha, Bayley, Charlotte, or the woman KLR wanted to face at TO Dublin, Dublin native Becky Lynch.

That back body drop is horrendous as a finisher. It’s like when Becky won her debut match the exploder suplex. Awful lmao. Imagine if KLR lost to a back body drop ffs.

You don’t get to be this frustrated for not being able to beat the champion when you’ve only been fighting for like 3 mins.

Isla’s pisspoor speed going in the corner, and her pisspoor roll off of KLR’s tornado ddt. Shame.

Such a clean transition from a failed pinfall attempt into a submission by KLR, whew.

This whole match was just a flex by KLR lmao.

There was a time where we had Becky Lynch, Bayley, Rhea Ripley and KLR as our champions. Wow, take me back plz.

The background music of this stupid recording is so unnecessarily dramatic, wow.

All for the delivery of a chair. Of a fucking chair. Piper... shut up and handle your shit.

For someone so much larger than the little man, Piper is insanely unintimidating.

Highlight: I got to see KLR wrestle

---

Smackdown:

Bayley does run her mouth a lot. She’s kind of the EST at saying dumb shit that gets her into trouble lmao.

Bianca is so friggin good at interviews and in backstage segments. She hasn’t received much of a chance to do promos in the ring, let alone obviously to a live crowd, but I hope she shines there, too.

Has Liv reverted back to being a dumb blonde, or is it drugs? Stop letting her speak.

Love Riott Squad’s everchanging gear. Wonder who makes it for them.

Billie Kay claims that she’s a ‘seasoned’ ring announcer, and somehow that would not surprise me.

Tamina “get the fuck out of my face until I get a nap and a vat of coffee” Snuka, everyone.

Lmfaooo Tamina fucking chucked Liv across the damn ring. What a good job by Liv.

Ruby is exceptional at running the ropes. She gets a good spring off of it.

Tamina’s hair is always so beautiful, she gets points there.

Dropkick into a faceplant. Billie Kay gets pinned rofl. She’s so bad at wrestling and yet here I am ridiculously entertained.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with Carmella’s current persona, but man I wish she’d come out in a cut off tank top, camo pants, high tops and a printed hat.

I mean people are at home cuz covid, but go off.

Aye putting over Sasha. Good heel Mella.

Sasha has held the title for like a whopping 2 months and we’re already marking calendars. Sad.

In kf, Sasha is kind of mentally weak, so I’ll give Mella that. I’m not sure what it’s gonna take to shake that perception, either.

“Who is Sasha Banks if she’s not the Boss? Who is Sasha Banks if she’s not the best? It’s sad because that’s a question that not even Sasha Banks knows the answer too.” So I get that wwe are trying to help Sasha develop and fight off her past demons, but man these women are ripping her a new one. Sasha’s only 29 so she can grow and develop however she wants, but jeeze. Salt, meet the dagger Bayley stuck in Sasha’s back.

I like Mella cuz she knows how to hype her opponent’s accolades and strengths while cutting an immaculate heel promo where she hits them RIGHT where it hurts. She’s a pro. Heels should take notes.

This music is like the Jazz Vibes playlist I always listen to.

She just called Sasha cheap and frantic lmaoooo

Oh damn Sasha be out here looking like MONEY. That girl has style, even if it doesn’t always hit with me, she got style.

oof the crack of that slap to Reggie.

OOF the crack of the bottle shattering over Sasha’s poor back. rip.

Match at TLC should’ve been a champagne match. That entails whatever your mind comes up with; pouring alcohol on your opponent, dumping their head in a bucket of ice, breaking bottles over spines. It don’t matter.

“You don’t see me going around here bragging about how damn good I am,” lmao WHAT. Bayley is equal parts delusional and obnoxiously annoying.

One size heel does not fit all, but I think her version suits her beautifully.

If I were her I’d pick your brain too, but I’d also want a match, cuz people leave matches with you looking as good as humanly possible. Equal parts selfless as well.

She didn’t lie, this was absolutely her putting Bianca on the map on the main roster.

wwe: wants to strap a rocket to Bianca and make her a star. Also fucking wwe: “lol no we’re not gonna show you her full entrance, cry more scrub.” 

Bayley still looks weird without a title.

Bayley mocks Bianca’s entrance and then gets swept onto the apron lmao. Idiot.

Bianca is a lot of flash and showboating, which is great from an entertainment standpoint, but she needs to do a little... less.

Fantastic snap of the hand against the led board. Bayley wrecking Bianca’s arm gonna hinder the flips.

“I’m the ER. I’m BET-TER. haha.” lmao Bayley is such a fucking dork. Got sent into the ring steps for her bravado. Love that there’s always immediate repercussions for Bayley’s arrogance.

Bayley turned midway going down onto Bianca’s knee for that backbreaker, there. Hope she doesn’t have a massive bruise. Looked like it’d leave a massive bruise.

3 things I’ll apparently never get to see again: Bianca’s hair whip, Bianca’s full entrance, and Bianca’s 450 splash. I’m tired.

These stupid fucking squats while Bianca is dangling off the top rope rofl I swear Bayley is something else. Girl knows how to entertain. “Bayley got a bit cute and Bianca made her pay,” story of Bayley’s life.

Beautiful spinebuster by Bianca. At least SOMEONE in the women’s division will use it.

Bit of a miscommunication there it seems. Bayley goes for a B2B, Bianca tries to block it, Bayley drops down to dodge and go for a cradle. She rolls Bianca all the way back, stands up and hesitates before running at Bianca with an elbow - even though Bianca is not in position to receive it - which Bianca counters by rolling Bayley up, but it was super obvious Bianca was just scouting the next spot. Bianca goes to pick her up for a powerbomb but Bayley has to kick out twice to prevent herself from being pinned while Bianca tries to lift her. That entire sequence was super messy.

Then Bianca nearly drops her lifting her all the way up lol. Yikes. Gotta be pretty fluent to pull that off. Not to plug my fav (but I’m totally gonna plug my fav); it’s a move Charlotte does in almost every match against Asuka or Becky, and you gotta be not only built to pull it off, but you need to have impeccable timing to make the transition look smooth. Extra points if you lift them off the mat RIGHT before a 3 (which Charlotte usually does)

Anyway, good match with a messy last 2 sequences. Bayley did what Bayley does best.

Highlight: Bayley vs Bianca

---

TLC:

They really took Eva Marie and Sasha Banks’ characters and meshed them together while keeping Carmella’s obsession for animal print lol.

Really don’t like that gear. That’s a miss, Mikaze.

Beautiful arm drag. Sasha taking the idea of wrestling like a Lucha more seriously? Cuz she should, ain’t nobody else in the MR doing it.

Commentators say the trash talk is continuing, I say Sasha is quietly leading this match with a grimace. Peeped that “hit me”.

Carmella goes to suicide dive through the ropes just for Reggie to catch her, cept she got caught up and started turning in midair. Would’ve hit her neck and shoulder HARD had he not been there. Great catch indeed.

Sasha “rip my back” Banks.

Not to be douchey, but if you have to adjust your gear in the middle of a match and it’s not just to fill time or be used as character work, then you need to redesign your gear.

Sasha’s a great babyface once that bell rings man. I wish she could carry that energy everywhere.

Holy fuck that facebuster. SPIKED her head, oh my god. I have never seen anyone make a facebuster look so impactful. Points if intentional.

Oh the timing of Sasha blocking that superkick from legit connecting. God she’s good.

You know how I know this is a good match? I’m watching some of these near pinfalls and submissions knowing damn well Sasha’s gonna win, yet my anxiety is still spiking thinking Carmella might walk out with the title. I KNOW she doesn’t though lmao. Good sequences, believable offense, great near pinfalls. They work well together (I’m not surprised, Mella and Sasha both work well with almost anyone)

What a fantastic transition into the bank statement. Points.

That match should’ve ended by dq the second Reggie pulled Mella out. 

Sasha could’ve sold that double superkick pinfall attempt a little bit more.

Carmella having a breakdown. What does that mean? That means she’s about to lose this match lmao. There it is, not even 10 seconds later hahaha.

Sasha sells pain so damn well. Good for her. Good defense of her title. Points to Sasha, she’s phenomenal every time she has an actual match. Post-match and she’s already annoyed me though lol. Ugh. Maybe she’ll get it soon enough.

Nice “replay” wwe. Billion dollar company btw.

Billie, drawing a horizontal line is not how you write ‘clairvoyant’. 

“proficient in Japanese” aw Asuka was so excited for a split second lmao.

Oh no, she made a mask to match Asuka’s with a paper plate. Oh no no no. Travesty. 

Ugh I’m so excited. I’ve already seen this and yet I’m excited. Here we are, the whole damn reason I started catching up on everything I basically refused to watch since June 22.

SHE LOOKS LIKE MONEY, WHEW. The queen IS back. She’s so fucking beautiful man.

Love how annoyed Nia looks. This is your comeuppance tbh. Could’ve just faced a measly Lana, but no, you had to play too much.

Really Charlotte shouldn’t be in the tag division, and really she shouldn’t give half of a fuck about Asuka, but we’ll get to that more in the future since this is already nearly 2 months old.

Nia’s doing a great job selling Charlotte’s return, and she’s not even active in the match rn. She does good work.

Bad camera angle on Asuka hitting the ring post.

Asuka getting wrecked lol.

I really despise that the Raw women’s championship was tied up in all of these storylines that have nothing to do with the Raw women’s championship. The Lana crap, the Charlotte crap, the tag teaming in general crap.

In hindsight, I now find it curious that Ric Flair was in the back for this match. Very curious. I swear, if the past 2 real time months weren’t a part of some master plan the Flairs came up with together, I will be SHOCKED.

Charlotte’s fucking crazy for doing those moonsaults to the outside though, for real. I know she was a gymnast and an exceptional cheerleader, but MAN you could not pay me to do fucking blind back flips that high up. Crazy.

She should’ve given us a spear in this match. I wanna go rewatch her work just to see some spears.

Good match. They needed to not focus on destroying Asuka for as long as they did, pacing was off for a little bit there.

Love how Charlotte sticks her tongue out when she bridges up into the figure 8. She’s such an asshole lmao.

If I could’ve changed one thing about that finish, I would’ve had Charlotte bounce off the ropes before hitting Natural Selection. Other than that, it was great.

Charlotte looks good with a title, idk *shrug*

The way Charlotte looked over at Asuka though. I really don’t trust her in hindsight lol.

Like how this Firefly Funhouse is setting the spotlight on Alexa before Bray takes his leave of absence, only wish she hadn’t missed 2-3 wks of tv.

What a fun way of running a video package.

Inferno matches are insane and I’m not sure why anyone would participate in such.

Think it’s smart they’re both leaving their jackets on tbh.

Alright that was cool. The way Fiend called up the flames was fucking cool. It looks amazing aesthetically. They could’ve never done the set quite like this if there had been fans.

WE HAVE STRAPS?! IS FIRE NOT ENOUGH?!? Man. Randy is a fucking trooper.

Guys. Guys excuse me, that strap is on fire, can... can we not, please??

Man is swinging a god damn pick axe at Randy Orton, I--

I hope that wasn’t actually flammable liquid cuz otherwise Randy is now soaked in it, and that’s insanely dangerous. Oh that’s great editing. So it was flammable, but Randy was out of the chair before the fire rushed at him. Also covered the chair in blood. That was cool.

Orton just pull the damn string out of the jacket real quick lol.

Caught Orton’s attempt at an rko with a mandable claw. Points.

Can someone... put him out? Editing trick? Were the flames real? Am I real??

Shouldn’t the bell ring? Match is over, right??

The dummy was kind of obvious ngl. Not to sound like an asshole, but they should’ve made it a bit thicker and more solid lol. Doesn’t really take me out of it though, cuz even though I’m sure it was a stunt double that got lit on fire by the ramp, someone was on fucking fire, and that’s intimidating in itself.

Also the dummy is melting. I’d say they should’ve used pig meat, but I’m sure vegans and animal rights activists would’ve had a field day writing to Snickers about that.

Was a good match, for what it was. I was entertained.

---

*BONUS*

Main Event:

“Nasty Nikki” lol okay.

“The only reason people even know you exist is because you were Alexa Bliss’ best friend,” ouch. Truth is pain.

Ahahahah Lacey has hand sanitizer again. 

Love that submission Lacey jumped into through the ropes, plus an eye rake. Fantastic.

That’s curious. Lacey and Peyton are arguing over the hand sanitizer as Lacey wants to squirt it on Nikki, while Peyton is claiming it’ll get her DQd. Now I’m on Peyton’s side in the sense that it should absolutely be illegal, but Lacey’s done it in a match against Nikki before, sooo ???

I like how Nikki fell trying to get back into the ring before the 10 count. Adds credibility.

Haha Nikki gets the pinfall over Lacey because Peyton was being a nuisance on the outside. Lacey big mad. That’s great.

---

*Smackdown easily shined the brightest in what was a great week of wrestling. Utilized 8 women in 3 different storylines, couldn’t possibly complain about that.