The Last Time You Talked to Him
🔅Yuta Okkotsu
🔅Content: Inspired by the recent spread on the events happening in JJK 261🥲; MEGA spoilers; gn! reader; Word Count: 1k
🔅a/n: I was genuinely sobbing with hot streams of tears falling down my eyes while writing this at 4 AM I am DEVASTATED I had to express it somehow,, Didn't expect to have such attachment to this boy.
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"...Yu...?"
The silence was loud, deafening even.
The weather tonight was pleasant and had a clear sky: the moon was high, the stars were out, the breeze was calm...
You could say it would've been a perfect evening to have another lovely date by the usual spot: under the big tree, behind the school, sitting on the soft grass...
However, despite the scenic atmosphere that surrounded you, the look on both of your faces were low-spirited, displaying a sorrowful expression.
"...Yuta..." Slowly, you lowered your head, staring at the ground in front of you as you hugged your knees closer to your chest.
"...Please...." You whisper, almost pleaded as a few droplets began to form at the corners of your glistening eyes.
As you did your best to remain composed, you couldn't help but feel your facade begin to slowly break, like a dam of overwhelming emotion threathening to burst at any moment, bit by bit-
A dam that's ready to release all sorts of feelings: pain, sadness, fear, worry, hatred, and love.
Your breathing slowly began to turn uneven, your quiet voice shaking slightly.
"....Don't go... please..."
That was it for you.
Those words were enough to completely break your self-control, cracking the dam open.
Your face immediately hid in between your arms as you tightly gripped on your knees, releasing all of the emotions that had built up inside of you, unable to contain them any longer.
It hurt, it really hurt, knowing what will happen to him after tonight.
"....." Yuta was silent, dead slient, unable to think of any proper response to say to you.
I mean, what was he supposed to do in this situation? Should he hug you? Hold your hand? Lie Reassure you and say he'll come back safely??
If the one you loved comes to you and suddenly announces that he'll be stitched into another person's dead body to battle against the most notorious curse in history within in the next hour, what else are you left to follow up with??
The person you loved the most... now using your dead teacher's body, whom you both respected so much, as a vessle, a puppet, nothing more than a weapon... isn't that a little too messed up?
Why him?
As sickening it is to use Gojo's body to the very end, you're just as disgusted at the situation where it came to a point that a young man, such as Yuta, needed to be the one to step up and tackle the situation.
For his friends, for Gojo, for all sorcerers, all civilians, and even for you. Your peace.
And everyone agreed to this, even Gojo, which made you sick to the stomach. Seeing how even your late teacher accepted the dehumanization of his own being for the sake of becoming a mere shell of a weapon, further being pushed even agter his death; turning himself into the monster everybody needed him to be.
'I will be the monster.' He just had to say it.
Your growing disappointment in the reality of the sorcerer world only continued to grow more.
But you knew it was something he has to do... he wants to do... for everyone. It would be selfish- incredibly selfish for you to beg him to stay with you, endangering the world because of it.
But you couldnt help it. Every fiber in your being was screaming for him to not do it, it's gone too far, all of it, even though that the plan was already set in motion when you found out.
It was hard to hate him for doing that, but at the same time, you hated the fact for still loving that strong sense of morals he clings onto so much.
With your head still hidden deep within your knees, you sob "...Please.... please don't go... pleas, Yu...." You tried your best to speak in between your desperate cries, your words getting more and more inaudible as you weakly shaking your head in denial.
You couldnt help but still try to plea desperately, as void as your attempts would be.
You knew your words were uselses, you knew he would push through anyway, you knew he was the one who wanted to do this, for the sake of humanity- but still.
All you could do was plea, as if asking the Gods for a miracle. A miracle that somehow all of this this: the deaths, the curses, Shibuya, Sukuna, sorcery as a whole... was just some big screwed up dream.
Yuta slowly scoots closer to you, his hand ever so gently resting on the top of your trembling body. His hand gently caresses your back, comforting your shaking figure that hitched out quiet, miserable cries.
"My angel...." he spoke, calling out to you gently as you let yourself cry for a little more before trying to calm down.
Your heart ached for a moment upon hearing his affectionate and caring tone once more, and perhaps for the final time. It was already impossible for you to cry any more intensely. It hurts you like hell and you were already crying as if you had already lost him.
He knew nothing could ease the situation and trying to lighten it would only do nothing. All the both of you, and everyone else, could do is just accept the fate this world has to offer him; Accept the gamble of a lifetime Yuta will be risking.
Risk if never coming back as himself, risk of death, risk of defeat and the triumph of curses...
He wanted to say so many things he could never say in an hours worth of time. Yuta still wanted to tell you how much he loved spending time with you, how much he admried you, how happy he is everytime he made you smile; how happy he is just even thinking about you...
He ended up saying none of it, hoping you would have already known all the things he wouldve wanted to tell you.
The sad part is: you would know. You understand him better than anyone else- and you knew every single word of affection, fear, regret, guilt, and love he wanted to tell you. And imagining hearing him say those things would only end up hurting you even more.
...
Will it be the same? Will he come back? Will he survive.
No one's certain, yet, you remain clinging on to hope.
But fate is cruel, in reality. Fate is painful. Fate is uncertain. No one knows what will make of him after this
After taking a while to collect yourself, finally, you look up at him, your hand clenching so hard to your chest, your lungs so empty of air, and your cheeks stained with the warm stream of tears falling from your eyes.
"...I love you most....don't ever forget."
Yuta said, almost like a promise, like a goodbye.
He loves you, more than anything, even his own life itself- he loved you more.
Which is why he is willing to risk it in order to create a peaceful world for you to live in, and only he was ready.
As difficult as it may be, you knew it was a hard slap to the face by reality for you to accept fate. It was imposisble, but inevitable.
The world of sorcerers was never a place of clear blue skies and joyful songs. Its a dark place.
It's hard to blame anyone, because this is where fate had let you afterall, a tragic end to a supposed-to-be love story that could've ended with a better ending.
"....Let's meet here again... once everything is over." In the most gentle tone, he spoke. His eyes looking at you filled with so much love as if you were the only thing that mattered that moment.
Against all opposing forces, you somehow convinced yourself to force a smile: it was weak... filled with sorrow and affection mixed together, and you did your best to show your pretty little smile he loved so much, knowing it might have been something he needed the most right now.
He only regrets he may not be with you after everything has finished; not be able to train with you and get stronger together- not be able to spend the rest of his days with you anymore, like he promised, like he hoped.
....That, and the fact that this would perhaps the last time he would be able to see your smile ever again.
I'll see you again soon...
...Yuta.
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a/n: It took me a while to edit this before posting cause of the amount of typos I had to deal with as I sobbed while making this but at least I captured the heart of my emotions during a vulnerable time lol I guess
YUTA LITERALLY SHOUDERED SUCH A BURDEN BC HE KNOWS IT'S SO MISERABLE AND SAD FOR GOJO TO BE THE ONLY MONSTER AND DEHUMANIZED BUT NO ONE ELSE WAS TRYING TO DO WHAT GOJO DID MY BOYYYY
Credits to @makuzume on Tumblr || Do not steal, translate, modify, reupload my works on any platform.
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