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luxekook · 5 years ago

Text

chapter six.

⇥ pairing: ot7 x reader

⇥ genre: college au with fluff, smut & angst

⇥ summary: a series in which the reader meets (and falls for) seven members of the Beta Tau Sigma (BTS) fraternity

⇥ word count: 4.6k (may have gotten a bit *cough* carried away)

⇥ warnings: 18+, cursing, dirty talk, general chaotic energy, poly relationships, switch!reader, jungkook being a lovable idiot, bad driving, taehyung trying (and failing) to catfish the reader, bar bathroom smut, oral (m receiving), light choking

Chapter Six

Habitat Worksite – 11:25am

The rest of the morning goes by pretty smoothly much to my surprise. The group that I help Eddie orient is from a pub in the neighboring town. They’re so much nicer than the last scarring group I had to deal with, and they’re actually listening to my directions.

I’m pretty sure I have tears in my eyes as I supervise them cutting plywood like professionals – but that could just be the sawdust.

When I become confident that no one is going to injure themselves with the power saw, I recruit some other volunteers to help me transfer the cut wood inside.

As we walk into the house, I almost drop the plywood onto my foot. Jungkook is shirtless, mixing cement together. When had he even arrived? I stare unabashedly at him – The height. The build. The broad shoulders. The veined forearms. The ridged stomach. The tattoos…

Tay, the middle-aged mother of two helping me, follows my line of vision, “Oh my... please tell me you’re hitting that, darling.”

“Tay!” I hiss, my eyes darting around to see if anyone heard her. Sure enough, Jungkook is looking at us and smirking like he was just crowned king of the fucking universe. “I am not hitting anything, thank you very much.”

She makes a derisive noise, “I might be old, but I'm not blind. He’s looking at you like you’re the best thing since sliced bread.”

Jungkook hands off his mixing duties to Matt and saunters over to us, “Hey, noona. You look nice today. Do you need any help?”

“Not hitting that, my ass,” Tay mutters and shoots me a triumphant look as she walks back outside.

I roll my eyes at her antics and turn to Jungkook, “Hi, Kookie. What happened to your shirt?”

Jungkook blushes, “I may have taken it off, and then it may have fallen into the cement.”

My eyes wander around the room until they fall on a sad lump of fabric and semi-dried cement in the corner. My lips twitch.

“Noona-a,” Jungkook whines, “Don’t laugh!”

My body doubles over, shaking with laughter. Tears stream down my face as I try in vain to catch my breath.

“Is she okay?” I vaguely hear Hobi ask before I feel his hand run soothing circles on my back, “(y/n), are you crying?”

I straighten, wiping my tears, “H-he… cemen-nt… sh-shirt…” My cackles resume.

“She’s lost it, hasn’t she?” Yoongi enters the house with eyebrows raised, “It was only a matter of time. Jungkook has that effect on people.”

“Hyung!” Jungkook punches Yoongi in the arm.

"Am I wrong, Hobi?" Yoongi turns to the other boy, who's hand is still firmly on my back.

Hoseok shoots Yoongi a dirty look, "Don't drag me into this. The last time I tried to argue with the two of you I almost got a concussion."

Jungkook smirks, looking way too pleased to receive such an accusation, "I seem to recall you liking it, Hobi-hyung. What was it you were screaming?"

Yoongi snickers as he leans into Jungkook, effectively teaming up on poor Hobi, "I believe the phrase was 'harder, oh my god, harder!'" He and Jungkook collapse onto each other in fits of laughter as Hoseok turns an amusing shade of magenta.

I turn to face Hobi. "Is that how you like it?" I murmur, tilting my head to stare up at him, "You like it hard? Rough?"

Hobi swallows as his pupils dilate. His hand on my lower back suddenly clenches, crumpling my shirt within his fist. "Yes," his voice comes out deeper than I had ever heard it.

Vaguely, I notice the other two boys have stopped laughing. Good. No one would tease my sweet Hobi in front of me and get away with it.

My decision solidifies. "Well," I say, "Then that's how I'll give it to you."

"No one will be giving anything to anyone until we finish this project," Namjoon's voice booms, breaking up your little moment with Hoseok.

The four of you swing to face him, blinking owlishly.

Namjoon's eyes are shut as he pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration, "Jeon Jungkook, for the love of god, where is your shirt?"

An hour later, I found myself stuck in the backseat of Jungkook's black Range Rover. After Hobi, Yoongi, and Jungkook had loudly voiced their opinion in front of the entire worksite that it was their turn to drive me, I had quickly jumped into the car to avoid further humiliation.

Now, I sat wedged in between Hobi and Yoongi who both refused to sit in the front next to Jungkook and also forbade me from doing so. I only agreed because I was not one to miss an opportunity to be pressed up between two hot guys. Sue me.

Glancing down at my thighs, I marvel at the way both of the boys have placed possessive hands on them. "This is so lame," Jungkook complains for the hundredth time as he glances at the three of us in the rearview mirror. "I want to touch noona, too!"

We ignore him.

Yoongi's slim fingers dig in slightly into the softness of my inner thigh, "(y/n)," his hushed words ghost over my neck, "Come home with us?"

"Please," Hobi echoes from my other side. His hand is more brazen in its placement. His pinky just a fraction away from the apex of my thighs.

Perhaps I could close my legs like the proper lady my grandma wanted me to be... but fuck that. I would woman-spread however I damn well please. "Hmm," I pretend to think about it, "No."

"But why?" Hobi pouts, making puppy-dog eyes in my direction, "You said you were going to give it to me."

I shrug, noncommittally, "I never said when."

Jungkook sighs from the driver's seat, "Ah, I love it when noona is evil."

"We fucking know, Jungkook," Yoongi groans, "You only bring it up a thousand times a day."

"Hey!" Jungkook whirls around in his seat, "Stop exposing me, hyung!"

"Eyes on the damn road, JK!" Hobi grips the 'oh shit' bar as the car begins to veer into the bike lane. Jungkook whips back around and quickly rights the car. Meanwhile, Yoongi smirks like the little shit starter he is.

"Looks like I'm not the only evil one here," I roll my eyes, "You're a menace, Min Yoongi."

"Yes, I am," the boy puffs up his chest and grins that gummy smile that he knows makes me melt, "But I'm your menace."

"Ah, gross!"

"Ew!"

Jungkook and Hobi yell as I try not to smile at Yoongi's rare display of cuteness and fail miserably.

"Stop trying to butter me up so that I'll come home with you, Yoongs," I smile and thread my fingers through his.

"Why?" He leans into me, "Is it working?"

"Not at all," I breathe, eyes darting to his lips as his tongue slips out to wet them.

"Liar," Yoongi moves in closer. My eyelids lower in anticipation.

Jungkook slams on the breaks and jolts the three of us forward, "We're here!" Grumbling, I pull my seatbelt away from its death grip on my body.

"Well played, Jungkook, well played," Yoongi comments from beside me.

"Tell that to my fucking neck," Hobi moans as he massages the front of his neck where his seatbelt must have dug in.

"Aw," I take pity on the poor boy and offer half-jokingly, "Want me to kiss it better?"

"YES!" Hobi's hand flies off his neck at the speed of light and thrusts his neck out in my direction.

Jesus, Mary and Joseph, he is adorable.

I place the lightest of kisses against the growing pink mark on his skin and revel in the shudder his body emits.

"Bye, Hobi," I place one last kiss on him and slide out of the car, using the door that Yoongi vacated from.

"Bye, angel!" Hobi cries out after me, waving furiously. So damn adorable.

Once I exit the car fully, I am faced with a pouting Jungkook and an annoyed-looking Yoongi.

"What now?" I eye them warily.

Yoongi gives Jungkook a dark look, and the younger boy backs off slightly. Turning back to me, Yoongi steps forward. "Bye, (y/n)," he says lowly, brushing a fallen strand of hair behind my ear. A light dusting of pink floods his cheeks at his own soft actions. I bite the inside of my cheek to contain my innate reaction to shower him with affection.

That time would come later, I'm sure.

"Bye, Yoongi," I press my mouth his cheek, "Keep your menacing ways to a minimum while I'm not around, would you?"

"No promises," Yoongi drawls, before hopping back into the car.

And just like that I'm left with one tall bashful boy.

"Oh, Jungkook..." I walk towards where he is propped up against the front of his car. His lean body slouches against the hood as his left leg props itself up on front tire. He still has yet to put another shirt on.

"I'm sorry, noona," he speaks to the pavement in the tiniest voice, "I got jealous that I wasn't getting to be that close to you."

I lift his chin up with my finger, "Baby, you were the only one who had my nipples in your mouth last night, and you're jealous of them?"

He swallows hard before grinning, "Well, when you put it like that..."

"Yeah, that's what I thought," I give into the urge to trace the muscles of his stomach. They bunch up under my touch and I smile at his responsiveness. "You know," I continue, "You're going to have to get over this jealousy thing if I do decide to date you all."

"I know, noona," the pout returns, and this time it's paired with a devastating pair of imploring doe eyes. "I just like you. A lot.”

"Well," I smile, "It's a good thing that I also happen to like you. A lot."

"Really?" Jungkook's neck snaps up at an alarming rate, "You do?"

"Yes, you giant idiot," I grip the back of his neck, "Now, kiss me goodbye."

He kisses me. His teeth pull at my bottom lip in a faint bite, and goosebumps spread across my body. I bite him harder in retaliation, but it only seems to urge him closer against me, body hard, warming me everywhere we connect. His fingertips drag down my skin until they reach my waist. His hands slide up under my shirt, and he rests his palms against my skin, fingers splayed down over my hips.

His hold is undeniably possessive. And that would not do.

I lean up and kiss him harder, digging my nails into his back as I tug him against me, feeling every inch of his body respond to my touch. A groan rumbles deep from within his chest.

“Do you think they’re going to come up for air soon?” An amused voice cuts through our make-out session.

Jungkook rips his mouth from mine, “Fuck off, Hobi.”

I open my eyes and blink a couple times before focusing on the smirking faces of Hobi and Yoongi. Their heads are sticking out of the open back window of the Range Rover as they cackle in amusement.

"Hobi," I say sweetly, "Do you need another mark on your neck today?" My hand flexes tauntingly in his direction.

Hoseok's eyes widen, "N-no! Bye again, (y/n)!" He retreats back into the car as Yoongi continues to chuckle before rolling up the window once more.

"You can mark my neck, (y/n)-noona." Jungkook's voice jolts me from my second thoughts on not going home with them.

This boy really is shameless, I think to myself as I shake my head.

"Maybe next time, Kook," I grin at him, "It'll give you something to look forward to."

"For as long as there are next times with you, noona, I will look forward to them."

My heart swells. "You're such a sweetheart, baby boy." The nickname has its desired effect as Jungkook's cheeks blush and his smile widens.

"I'm baby," he nods.

"Yes, you dork, you are," I place a swift peck to his cheek and head into my apartment before I get any more tempted to jump back in his car and initiate a foursome.

God, what were these boys doing to me?

(Y/n) & Luna’s Apartment – 4:15pm

A few hours later, I am deep in an argument with Luna over who the best Queer Eye guy is when my phone buzzes.

[Unsaved Number] 2 New Messages

Luna notices my confusion. "Who is it?" she asks, leaning over to look at my screen.

"No fucking clue," I reply, swiping open the messages.

[Unsaved Number] 4:15pm: “Hey, babe! It's me! Namjoon!” 4:15pm: “Want to meet at Hannigan's tonight? Just the two of us!?”

"What the everliving fuck?" My eyebrows rise at the completely obvious way that someone was poorly attempting to impersonate Namjoon.

"That's how Namjoon texts?" Luna sits back, "What a letdown."

"I don't think this is even Namjoon," I mutter and save the contact before swiping over to SnapChat. "Let's see if I have this person's Snap."

"Oh, your mind!" Luna exclaims, running to go grab a bag of pretzels from our tiny kitchen adjacent to our also tiny living room, "That is some top sleuthing right there."

"Why thank you, my good sir," I nod at her playfully before focusing back on my screen. Opening the 'Add Friends' tab, my eyes immediately hone in on the imposter.

"Oh, that little shit," I cry, chucking my phone onto the other end of the couch.

"What? Who is it?" Pretzel crumbs spew out of Luna's mouth as she ambles over to where I had just thrown my phone. She picks it up, turns it over, and lets out a long whistle. "Oh, fuck. What are you going to do?"

Luna hands my phone back to me, and I reopen the messages to respond.

Me 4:21pm: "Hi, Namjoon. I'll meet you there." 4:21pm: "9pm."

It'S mE! nAmJoOn! 4:22pm: “Yay! It's a date!” 4:22pm: “See you at 9!!!”

"Well," I lock my phone and set it down on the coffee table, "It looks I’ll finally get the chance to teach Kim Taehyung a lesson."

Luna springs up from the couch, "I'm calling Jenni. Let's do this."

Hannigan’s - 9:09pm

I'm nervous with anticipation.

Why?

Oh, that’s right – motherfucking Kim Taehyung thought he could pull one over me by impersonating Namjoon, and, so far, he's nowhere to be found.

I grasp my beer tightly as I slouch lower on my barstool. Since arriving about twenty minutes ago, I had set up camp in the corner of the bar. Luna and Jenni had immediately ditched me upon arrival, claiming that they were meeting friends.

I would have believed them if I hadn’t noticed that they just relocated to a table within vision of me and were scouring the room for any signs of Taehyung. I pull out my phone and once again debate texting him.

Fuck it. I'm just about to construct a text when my phone pings with messages from the group chat:

Bee Gang 9:10pm, Luna: “HE'S HERE” 9:10pm, Jenni: “HE LOOKS SOOOO GOOD KSKSKS” 9:11pm, Luna: “HOLY SHIT I THINK HE JUST SAW YOU” 9:11pm, Jenni: “TAEHYUNG IS LOOKING AT YOU LIKE YOU'RE THE HOTTEST THING HE'S EVER SEEN. HE'S GONNA FUCK YOUR SHIT UP I’D BET GOOD MONEY!!!” 9:11pm, Luna: “NAH DUDE *SHE* IS GONNA FUCK UP *HIS* SHIT” 9:12pm, Jenni: “OMG U RIGHT” 9:12pm, (y/n): “1) YOU BOTH SUCK AT HIDING, 2) NO ONE IS FUCKING ANYONE UP, 3) MAYBE THE SECOND THING IS A LIE”

I lock my phone and place it face down on the bar.

Looking up to see where Taehyung is, I immediately lock eyes on him. He's slowly making his way towards me with people constantly pausing him to chat. Taehyung’s all smiles, but I can tell he is a bit annoyed. That strikes me as odd – I thought he loved the attention?

The boy emerges free from the crowd, and I finally get to take him in.

Damn, he does look so good. His tight white t-shirt emphasizes his toned stomach while his overlying black leather jacket makes his shoulders look a mile wide. My gaze drops lower and take in his black pants with a black belt cinching the waist. I have to fight the urge to grab it and use it to pull him into me.

He’s almost to me when he turns his gaze to the bartender and flicks up two fingers. And just like that two beers and an annoying but hot-as-sin man appear in front of me.

“You don't look surprised to see me,” he says as his greeting, sliding me one of the new beers. He shoots a look at the group of boys occupying the stools next to me and they immediately make themselves scarce.

I arch an eyebrow, “You do realize I had all of your SnapChats to double check the number with, right?”

"God-fucking-damn," Taehyung plops down in the barstool next to mine, "No wonder it was so easy to convince Joon to let me do this." He shakes his head and glances up at me beneath his blue fringe, “You still came? Even though you knew it was me?”

I roll my eyes at his cute actions, "Yes, I figured you had something important to say if you went through all that to get me here."

He blinks, clearly still caught off guard that I wasn't surprised to see him. "I do," His voice cracks and he flushes deliciously, "I mean, yes, I have something to say."

"Okay," I nod and sip from my beer, "So, tell me."

His fingers fiddle with the label on his beer bottle as he begins, "I know I'm not your favorite person... I'm loud. I'm bratty. I know that. But I just have to know if you felt anything that night last semester; because, I did, and I can't stop thinking about it. I know that you probably haven't. It's been killing me to see you with everyone else that I love, and I just need to know if there's a chance you might want to be with me like that, too, and-"

I clamp a hand over his mouth. His eyes snap to mine.

"Baby," I sigh, "Is this what's been making you act out?"

Taehyung's head bobs as he nods swiftly.

"Now, that just won't do," I murmur, my mind whirring as I think of all the times I had thought he wanted to annoy me when all he really wanted was my attention.

"Listen," I continue, pulling my hand from his mouth, "I don't know where you got those ideas stuck in your head from, but they're wrong. I do think about that night last semester. All the fucking time, Tae. And, yes, you're loud, and you have a tendency to be a brat... But, it only makes me more interested."

Taehyung's eyes burn into mine as I lean closer, "It only makes me want to teach you some discipline."

I watch as Taehyung’s knuckles go white as he clenches his beer. Concerned that the glass might shatter in his grip and hurt him, I slowly place my hand over his, “Relax, baby.”

"You can't just say things like that, noona!" Taehyung moans, shifting in his seat.

"And why not?" I tease as he takes a long sip of his beer with his head tilted back and his throat muscles moving in a way that made me want to do bad things.

I blink, "You know what? Forget it. Let's just start over, okay?"

Taehyung bites his lip, “Okay, sure.” He gestures to the bartender for another round, “Let’s play a game.”

My response is automatic. “Alright, Jigsaw. What kind of game?”

“Just a nice harmless game of ‘Never Have I Ever’, (y/n). Nothing untoward, I promise.”

My eyes narrow at his way-too-innocent smile and his archaic use of ‘untoward’. “Fine,” I arch an eyebrow, “But I have a few stipulations.”

“I would be disappointed if you didn’t, noona,” he scoots his stool closer to me, ��Lay ‘em on me.”

Oh, I will, my inner hoe responds.

Out loud, I reply, “The game can be stopped at any time, and you have to explain your answers if the other person asks.”

“Done,” he grins, “Never have I ever gotten my nipples pierced.”

“That’s targeting!” I exclaim indignantly, “You’ve seen them, you prick.”

“I haven't tasted them. At least, not yet,” his eyes squint at my boobs which are currently well-covered by a jean jacket. “Jungkook has… That fucker,” he mumbles under his breath.

These boys and their jealousy... I shake my head. How had they managed to stay in a relationship with all of this possessiveness they clearly had going on? It's truly a mystery.

"My turn," I grin, "Never have I ever dyed my hair blue."

"This is really more of a teal-ish green, noona!" Taehyung tries to argue, and I scoff.

"Fine," he relents and mumbles under his breath, "Should have brought my paint swatches." After taking a sip of his drink, he switches gears, “Never have I ever wanted to date a frat boy?”

I sip my drink. He immediately demands clarification. I grin, “Those EXO boys are fine.”

His jaw clenches. Ooh, he does not like that answer.

“EXO?” he snarls, "Over my dead body."

My eyebrow quirks up, “Well, that's a bit dramatic. They seem like nice boys.”

"Nice boys?" Taehyung cocks his head, "Noona, those aren't your type."

He's right. I push him further, “And what is my type then, Tae?”

“Boys that challenge you.”

He’s right again, but I’d rather not give him the satisfaction of knowing it. His ego is already inflated enough. I smile inwardly and say, “You think you have me all figured out, Kim.”

Taehyung surprises me as he breaks into a loud laugh, “No, not even close. But I’m a persistent boy so maybe I’ll get there one day.”

Just then I realize how close to one another we’ve gotten. Our sides are touching, and his hand has apparently been gripping my thigh for who knows how long. I stare at it, examining the adorning rings on his pointer and index fingers.

Are those fucking Gucci?

He must notice my gaze on his hand because he squeezes my thigh, and I smily at him. “I wouldn’t hold your breath.”

Taehyung looks at me like I’m something precious, something divine. I want to shatter that image. I want to ruin it. I want to ruin him.

“Taehyung?”

“Yes, noona?”

“Kiss me.” And he does.

Taehyung kisses me over and over. I’m honestly a bit overwhelmed it. His mouth is tender on mine, and with every exhale, he lets out the slightest moan, which almost seems like a plea for more.

He’s gentler than I remember. His mouth is warm and soft; his caresses are leisurely and unhurried.

I pull back slightly to look him in his eyes. They are dazed, unfocused.

My lips brush his ear as I whisper, “Be a good boy and meet me in the bathroom in two minutes.”

With that, I saunter away towards the back bathroom which usually tends to be cleaner due to its slightly hidden nature.

Knocking on the door, I strain my ears for any sign of a reply. Nothing. I enter the dim room and immediately catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

My hair is everywhere, and I immediately grab the hair-tie around my wrist.

I pause, a sinful idea coming to mind.

A knock sounds. “Noona?” A deep voice calls, and I open the door, grab Tae by the collar, and tug him inside.

“Noona, you’re feisty tonight I-” I cut him off with my mouth.

I don’t hesitate as my mouth consumes his and my body presses him against the wall. My tongue finds his as my hips grind into him. He whimpers, and it’s such a beautiful sound.

After feeling him throb through his clothes, the thought I had earlier returns.

Stepping back, I grab my hair-tie and tug my hair up into a ponytail. Taehyung whines as I slowly sink to my knees before him, “Jesus, fuck.”

“Is this okay?” I question, gazing up at the beautiful boy above me, “Do you want my mouth, baby?”

“Shit, yeah,” Taehyung wraps my ponytail in his hand and lightly pulls me closer.

Does he think he’s suddenly in charge?

I flick open his belt before tugging his pants down. His cock strains against his silky black boxers and I give into the temptation to suck on it through the fabric.

“F-fuck, please, noona,” the stuttered curse comes from above, and I smile.

I pull his boxers down, grasping his cock and stroking lightly.

And, without warning, I take the head of his cock in my mouth and suck. “Goddamn,” Tae hisses, fingers sliding into my hair. He pulls my hair-tie out and replaces its hold with his fist.

I take him as far as I can, blowing him and stroking the parts of his cock I can’t get to with my mouth.

“Shit, fuck, please,” he begs, looking down at me with wild eyes and a fucked out expression, “Don’t stop, (y/n).”

Stop? Never. The power trip is too delicious.

My mouth bobs on his cock as he bucks, trying to fuck my mouth. My hands grab his ass to control his movements as I slide my mouth off of him.

“Do you want to come in my mouth, baby?” I tilt my head to the side as one of my hands resumes its ministrations.

“Y-yes,” The boy gasps above me, his breath coming in pants, “Please, I’m so close, noona.”

“Hmm, are you going to be my good boy, Taehyung-ie?” My hand halts, and he whines, his hips straining to keep moving in my hand. I squeeze him, “Well?”

“Yes!” He moans, repeating, “I’m your good boy. I’m noona’s good boy.”

“That’s what I thought.” My mouth closes around his cock again and sucks him hard.

“Fuck.” I watch enraptured as Taehyung’s head falls back against the wall, and then he’s coming.

His body convulses above me as I swallow ever last bit of him. After he finishes, I pull my mouth away to kiss the underside of his cock, his balls, the insides of his thighs. Above me, he’s muttering my name like a prayer.

“You can let go of my hair now, Tae,” I laugh, my voice slightly hoarse. Reaching up, I lightly tug his hold from me and slide my discarded hair-tie off of his wrist. Standing, I pull my hair up into a messy bun and turn to face him.

He’s tugging his pants up and staring at me with a darkening expression, his nostrils flared. “Let me taste you, noona. Ride my face.” The tenor of his voice washes over me, tempting me with its rough words.

“You haven’t earned that yet.” I start towards the door, but Taehyung darts in front of it, effectively cutting me off.

“I just want to please you, babe. Come on,” his begging only solidifies my resolve.

“You already have pleased me, Tae,” I swipe a thumb across his cheek as he pouts.

“But I could please you even more with my mouth!”

This boy. I grab his neck lightly, “Listen, baby, I’m going to say this once. When I ride your face, you’ll be tied up across my bed at my mercy. Got it?”

His body becomes pliant under my words and my light grip. I gently shift him out of the way of the exit. “Now, I’m sure I’ll be seeing you soon, my good boy.”

The parting smile I send him is absolutely lethal, and it only grows bigger when I hear him blurt out a grumbled “holy fuck” as I strut away from him.

a/n: yeeeeeee things are really heating up *fans self* hope y’all liked it!! ALSO, s/o to tay aka @loveejoon for being featured UWU

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shibalen · 4 years ago

Note

💥hewwo can I pwease get a romantic male matchup for bnha (darkbox bc I live for angst) (music box) when you have the time uwu

Levi he/him gay entp supposedly (also if it's not too much to ask please no characters under the age of 18 please)

I've been described as having a strong and loud personality, I'm extroverted and outspoken. I'm pretty eccentric too.

I value friendship, kindness and standing up for others.

Goal wise I'm pretty aimless. I dont have any goals, if I die well I guess that's it babey. In the meantime I'm just here to help animals and people who need it.

Positive traits: I always stick up for people in need, I'm good at reading people, I'm good with animals, I love to make people smile and laugh, cheerful, good at talking my way out of bad situations, uhm. Friendly!

Negative traits would be: hot headed, loud, stubborn, arrogant, comes across as intimidating:( good at getting into bad situations, gets into fights very often. Can be spiteful, I've been described as a pyromaniac so theres that. Can be sadistic

What pisses me off: my father. I can and will cause trouble for that man for as long as I live. And people who pick on the weak.

My hobbies and interests areeee: true crime babey! Crying over video games, baking, the occult, taking naps, dream interpretations and tarot readings

Likes: animals, cats specifically, stars, fire, sunsets, supposedly haunted places, storms, being dramatic for the hell of it, tormenting people in a good hearted way

Dislikes: uhhhh hot weather I guess.

Quirks: uh I have 5 cats! Ones my fathers but he never takes care of his cat so i pretty much count him as my own (plus he likes me more than my dad and it pisses my dad off hehe) I have weirdly accurate intuition, it makes reading people easy, knowing what they want to hear and what they dont.

Uhhh dates and relationship wise I'm honestly happy doing whatever my s/o wants to do. All I want is to see their face light up.

My love language is physical touch, I dont like touching people but if it's someone I feel strongly about youd have to pry me away from them.

I once got kicked out of a library for starting a fight in it, trashy I know but I wasnt going to stand there and do nothing while my friends were being bullied and pressured into getting involved with a really dodgy man. I scared the bullies off for good at least B) they never bothered my friend again babey

Oh I'm also known around the area I live in as someone who's good at finding homes of lost pets. Often times I come across a lost animal and befriend it in no time and use my connections to find its family.

Sorry if this was rly long and thank you for your time!! I hope you have a fantastic day uwu if anything's too difficult to come up with ideas for I'm more than happy for you to change anything to make it easier for you too!

♡︎ matchup for anon

heya! here i am with another late matchup but i hope you still see this. i'm sorry about the delay (╯_╰)

bnha: i match you with . . .

natsuo todoroki !!

• this was one of those "heureka!" moments for me. you both hate your dads and hot weather? it's a match made in heaven! okay jk, these are just nice add-ons.

• what really made me consider Natsuo were your values and personality. kindness and friendships are important to both of you. Natsuo's a medical student so i am convinced helping others is high on his priority list too. he loves your driven and passionate nature because he doesn't go sugarcoating bs either.

• you're definitely the more energetic one while Natsuo only gets hot-headed about the things that are the most important to him. i think it's a good compromise, you can help each other out :)

• he was a little taken aback and cautious of your explosiveness at first but warmed up to it quickly after learning what a kind person you really were. now he thinks your dramatic attitude is funny during your sillier moments ٩(◕‿◕｡)۶

• speaking of, you lads met at an animal shelter. there had been a dog that was astray in the neighbourhood of his home, so Natsuo, being a responsible boyo, took it to the local shelter.

• then there you were, standing by the help desk with five kittens wrapped in your jacket in your arms. apparently someone had been trying to drown them so you'd taken care of the situation accordingly.

• Natsuo understood jumping into a lake to rescue the poor animals because he would have done the same, but you could have had just called the police?? it was extremely ridiculous but admirable at the same time to beat all those guys up.

• your chat turned into a pleasant conversation afterwards as you were waiting for the animals to finish their check-ups. Natsuo was a bit shy but you didn't mind and kept the chat going which he appreciated.

• later he volunteered to help you look for good homes for the animals you'd both found. during this project the two of you got to know each other quite well and ended up hanging out together afterwards!

• and from that point on, everything fell into place naturally. the growing spark between you was undeniable and you both knew it. Natsuo definitely liked you longer, he was just a lil dense about it . . .

• you're nothing short of a hero in his eyes but dear lord he worries for you. when he's attending lectures he sometimes can't help but wonder if you're all right and not getting involved in anything violent.

• attends to your possible injuries while nagging you not to be so quick to start a fight next time. in return, you playfully bully him for being such a mom.

• you join forces with Fuyumi to pick on him about your relationship. even though you're already together, soft Natsuo still blushes when his affection for you is brought up, it's entertaining for both you and Fuyumi.

• idk if you've heard but Natsuo's 181cm tall!! hugging someone has never been easier even if you happen to be taller than him. the only thing is his skin's naturally kind of chilly so he's lowkey worried if you dislike it but you always assure him he's perfect!

• one time he was stressed over exams so you baked him some blueberry muffins. he gave you the biggest hug and kiss because it's exactly all these little things you do that set his heart racing for you ♡︎

• "last night i saw a dream about being a frog and eating giant flies, it was gross."

• "oh, that just means your love life is about to become fun."

• "i'm not sure how those two are related."

• "just trust me. i'm a pro at this."

• he also likes giving you headpats as much as he likes receiving them! his hands are quite big so he often runs his fingers through your hair when you're cuddling or hugging. it's especially relaxing after a long period of studying. also him carring you on his broad back ԅ(￣ε￣ԅ)

• you enjoy the little things in life and complain about your fathers together. you've agreed to wait a while before even mentioning your relationship to them because, honestly, Natsuo doesn't want any more horrible influences in your life.

• you get him sucked into the world of video games. it's always fun to watch him struggle but he never gets salty about losing maybe a lil he adores your smile as you laugh at him for being so bad at them.

• your dates include: helping out at animal shelters and retirement homes, video game and movie nights (especially about true crime), arcades and astronomy tower explorstions. i feel like Natsuo's more into traditional, romantic and chill dates and that's your usual thing. though i see sometimes you going to get coffee and ending up solving a 50-year-old murder case instead (✧ω✧)

❦︎ ink box

— despite Natsuo's best efforts to distance himself from Endeavor, it wasn't quite as easy and everyone was very much aware of the Todoroki family. and now the son of the number 1 hero had a lover.

— it wasn't actually that troublesome at first. some newpaper paparazzi occasionally annoyed you but you didn't care for them. most of the time Natsuo and you had your peace during dates aside from a few casual fans.

— but of course there are all sorts of people out there, some out for revenge, some for money, and being desperate means using even the lowest of methods to get what you want.

— so one time it happened, and it was all that took. several bitter villains thought they'd get their revenge through you, silly as it may sound. they made a big show of kidnapping you and demanding Endeavor to 'make up' for his wrongdoing. but all got resolved thanks to heroes, the only casualty being Natsuo's heart from almost exploding from worry and his deepening hatred for his father.

— later on, it wasn't that Natsuo was worried about you not being able to handle yourself, he feared what might happen if more of powerful villains came after you.

— so, after some debate, you agreed not to meet up for a short while to let the fuse of the incident settle down. it would be safer once the media forgot about it. you still texted and chatter over phone though!

— but then a week turned into two weeks, then into a month. you were wondering what was taking Natsuo to say the coast was clear and did a straight-up inquiry through a video chat.

— you could see he was restless the entire time. he said you should wait longer just to be sure everything was calm before meeting up. you became irritated because he was obviously lying and not being his normal, brutally honest self.

— why was he giving you this crap straight to your face?

— truthfully, Natsuo hadn't been sleeping all right recently. ever since that day he had reoccurring nightmares about something awful happening to you. they were just dreams, he knew. yet considering his ruffled up past and the frequency of those horrible visions, it would have been lie to say he was unaffected.

— paranoia just wouldn't leave him alone, and no matter how much he wanted to hold you in his arms again and hated making up stupid excuses, the voice at the back of his mind whispered this was for the best.

— after a month and a half had passed you've had just about enough, however. whatever reason he was keeping you in the dark for did no longer stop you from crashing into his house and demanding the truth.

— Natsuo knew you and expected this to eventually happen. after you made such a powerful entrance though he also knew there was no getting around it this time. really, it was comforting knowing you cared so deeply.

— he told you exactly what had been happening and you resisted the urge to punch him in the arm for having such a mindset. but the look in his beautiful grey eyes was so heartbreaking you threw yourself to embrace him instead. your touch was everything Natsuo had craved for for all this time.

— you skillfully assured him for the next couple of hours while keeping the talk light-hearted (he had obviously been overthinking way too much already). soon enough the issue was resolved and you had a sleepover right there to make uo for the lost time (Shoto and Fuyumi kept eavesdropping on you because y'all were being way too loud in a cute way).

— "i love you, Natsu, but if you ever keep something like this a secret from me again, i can't guarantee the safety of your arm or your front door."

♫︎ music box

— If I Had An Airplane by SayWeCanFly

— This December by Rick Montgomery

— Round & Laundry from Carole and Tuesday

— Haven't Had Enough by Marianas Trench

— Bowie On The Radio by Ryan McMullan

♡︎ runner up: Dabi / Touya Todoroki

thank you for requesting, hopefully you enjoyed this! i'm really pleased about matching you with Natsuo, it's just so perfect. have a lovely day and remember to take care of yourself ♡︎

#len's matches #💥anon #matchups #bnha matchups

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sometimesalwaysmusic · 6 years ago

Photo

JUNG SHADOW

We caught up with Kevin (Ex-Destroy Clocks vocalist/guitarist) to discuss his new solo electropunk project, Jung Shadow (JS). Read on about the inspiration behind the name, huge influences, and the ebbs and flows of the Ottawa music scene (Photo: 1upcloud photography).

VITALS

Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/jungshadow808

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/jungshadow/

Twitter:https://twitter.com/jungshadow808

BandCamp: https://jungshadow808.bandcamp.com/

Latest Release: Currently Recording debut LP

Upcoming Shows: Stay tuned!

SA: How did this project come to be? JS :When my last band came to an end back in March and I didn’t know if I wanted to start another band or sell my gear and give up on making music altogether. I was pretty upset, angry and depressed about how it all went down and I really didn’t want to start all over again. While I was trying to decide what I wanted to do, I was reading about Carl Jung and his concept of Self and Shadow where basically the Self is what you present to the world and the Shadow is all the negative traits you try and hide. That kind of inspired me to use this project as an outlet to lean into all the negative stuff I was feeling and use it as a sort of catharsis. Any time I start a new project, I like to incorporate something new I haven’t done before. I had always been interested in electronic and industrial music so I figured now was a good time to buy a drum machine, trade a couple guitars for synths and it kind of just took off from there. I recorded and put out 2 singles online back in May and started booking gigs by June.

SA: Who are your biggest influences, musically or otherwise? JS: I could go on forever with this question but like I mentioned earlier, I took my name from a Carl Jung theory that inspired me with the direction of this project, plus I kind of like how it sounds like a Soundcloud rapper. Musically there are a few people that really inspired this solo venture. Justin Broadrick (Godflesh, Jesu, JK Flesh) would be a main influence on me. His ability to make layered heavy electronic fused noise was a huge jumping off point and got me into exploring some other stuff like Whtiehouse or Autechre. Ryan Patterson from Fotocrime would be another one. He came from playing in a punk band called Coliseum who I really admired. When they broke up and he started a solo drum machine goth band and that’s really where I got the inspiration to do it all myself. My favourite guitar player is Greg Ginn from Black Flag, and he also did a solo drum machine thing after they split. Seeing Youth Code a few years ago also made me realize how full and heavy your live show could still be without a more traditional guitar/drum combo. NIN was probably the first band I really got into in grade 6 so all those things made me move towards the idea of a one person project this time around.

SA: Thus far in this project, what has been your biggest success? JS: Opening for Big Business was pretty cool. I was about 3 months into doing this and got to open for a band I really love. One of the members approached me after my set and told me how much he loved a new song I played for the first time that night. It was a great reassurance that I was on the right track.

SA: On the other hand, what is the biggest challenge you've faced, and how have you dealt with it? JS: The hardest thing is finishing songs. Having no input from anyone else, if I get stuck figuring out where something should go, or how it should sound, it’s really easy to spiral out and spend 2 weeks playing with how much reverb I want to put on the kick drum or which snare sound I want to use. I’m trying to take a more Guided By Voices inspired approach where if I can’t think of anything good enough for a second verse, fuck it, the song is a single verse and a chorus and is a minute and twenty seconds. Record it and move on.

SA: How do you approach the songwriting process? JS: I’ve stepped out of my comfort zone a little with these songs. I’ve had to learn to program drums, use synths and sequencers which is all new to me, but it’s cool because it’s almost a puzzle. You might know what kind of sound you want for the drums or bass line and you have to find a way to make it with the gear you have, then find a way to be able to play it all live using loopers and sequencers. I still do the whole heavy guitar and yelling over most songs so that’s still right in my wheelhouse but I’m trying to develop a solid set of songs that don’t use a guitar, so that’s new to me and making me rethink how I write. The way electronic music is built up and written is so different than something like punk or metal so I’m trying to blend some of those elements and techniques.

SA: What are your thoughts on the Ottawa music scene? JS: I’ve been gigging pretty regularly in Ottawa for about 17 years now in various bands, and saying that made me feel old, but I’ve watched the scene swell and dwindle over the years but we are definitely in a big swell right now. We have so many amazing bands, really cool places to play and a variety of genres that are thriving here.

SA: If you had to choose, what is your favourite song you’ve written thus far and why? JS: I’ve got this new song called “Year of the Worm” that I’m pretty excited to get recorded but as for songs I’m actually finished and performing, I have one called “Ashes” that I’m really happy with. It’s got these ebbing hypnotic downtempo layers in the background, and a really cool guitar sound that doesn’t sound like a guitar at all and a really cool dance break. Probably the most pop-centric song I’ve written but it’s still really dark sounding.

SA: If you HAD to describe three artists similar to your sound for the uninitiated, which would you choose? JS: Besides the influences I named earlier, I’d say mix of End Transmission/Bright Flashes era Snapcase, Big Black and something like Bauhaus or Cold Cave.

SA: What comes next for you in 2019? All the best heading into 2020! JS: Unless something really cool comes my way, I'm taking some time off to finish recording this record and also a few songs for a split release I have in the works. Both those should be out early-mid 2020.

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allaboutwannaone-blog · 8 years ago

Photo

how i fell in love

character: sungwoon genre: slight angst, fluff word count: 1.6k author’s note: i feel like this really sucked but i have no idea how to rectify it and that sucks even more?? :((( btw I'm thinking of making this into a series with wanna one,,,, do y'all want to see it happen?! :0)

• to-do list:

• one. grab sooin’s files from professor yoon

• two. get two chai lattes for david tomorrow on the way to school

• three. send sungjae the chemistry class notes

• four. finish haejung’s part up for the literature task (deadline is tomorrow!!!!!!!)

• sighing in accomplishment, you scratched yet another task off the list. you’ve finally finished seven of them; you’ve helped chris order a table off etsy, printed out lena’s notes, tuned your guitar to lend it to jisook tomorrow afternoon and more.

• if anyone were to step in to your room at this point of time, they would slowly back out, utter a small prayer, and close the door quietly. post-it notes were strewn all over the place, your bed was even messier than how mama 2017 went down.

• the last time your mom called you for dinner was ages ago, and the pink-and-orange-streaked sky had now been replaced with a sea of a black and sparkling stars.

• this was a regular thursday night for you,,, despite having finished your work already in school, you were still huddled at your desk, busying yourself with the errands your classmates had entrusted you with

• even though that meant that you rarely had free nights, you just couldn’t seem to say no to them. besides, the grateful looks on their faces every time you helped them out (and occasional treats) would just make your day. (be gone, cheese!)

• but sometimes,, just like how it was today, it would do nothing but to suck the life out of you, and you could not help but to blame yourself for having such a submissive personality. you really wanted a break but you still had many assignments left and you were on,, the,, verge,, of,, death

• just then, your phone buzzed.

• sungwound: yo can i come over

• sungwound: why aren’t u replying me

• sungwound: i mean pft i won’t even need to get ur permission because ur parents love me but

• sungwound: i’m starting to think that u’ve been kidnapped

• sungwound: I’M GETTING WORRIED??1?!?!??!??

• sungwound: i’m wounded that u aren’t looking at my texts

• sungwound: k nvm i’m coming over in five mins, make sure u don’t die

• BUT because you were too engrossed in rearranging your notes for sungjae, you missed those texts and left your worried best friend, sungwoon to fend for himself///1/‘’1/

• and that was why when your door was flung open,, you were just like “m OM i’ll go down and eat a snack later iM fI NE!!!!”

• sungwoon, in a fighting stance: “i swear to god if you do not get your hands off that laptop in two seconds you might have to catch some hands”

• you turned around and jumped, hit your head on your ceiling, left a hole there and shot to the outer space

• jk but that literally was how shocked you were to see him

• but wo w sungwoon with fluffy pyjamas and and tousled hair?? an aesthetic concept that u’re totally digging

• you also noticed that he had carried a duffel bag with him too

• you, squealing: “YOU’RE SLEEPING OVER?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?”

• him, in an equally high-pitched tone: “YES!!!!!!!!!!!!”

• he launched himself into your arms,, squealing gibberish and laughing (like how he did when jisung handed him his fairy wand in wanna one go)

• (0_0) (0o0) \(0o0)/ 1!!1!1!1!1!!1!1!1! <- your heart/mind at that moment

• after holding on to his soft body for a whole five minutes you pushed him off, telling him apologetically to give you twenty minutes to finish up your work.

• all while chanting *nope i do not like him, i’m a nun, i shall devote my life to my boy bands, i do not have an attachment to this amazingly beautiful boy* in your mind

• sungwoon, holding his hand to his heart and sprawled on the ground: *gasps in korean* *rolls up sleeves* look y/n, i’ve climbed hills and swam seas to finally reach your house,, and you’re telling me to mIN D MY OWN BUS INES S FO R 20 MINU TES!!!??!?!!? REALLY??!?!?! IN FRONT OF MY SALAD????

• you, focusing on your computer screen: firstly,, you live just a block away and secondly,, there ain’t no salad here hAh so CASE CLOSED

• and then it went surprisingly quiet for ten minutes,, and your sungwoon-o-meter told you that this was dangerous but hell nah your focus was just as strong as park seojoon’s in she was pretty btw great drama

• first attempt: just as you predicted, a few moments later, you found a small gummy bear right below your nostrils. “c’mere c’mere” he chanted, tickling your chin and trying to bribe you out of your sitting position.

• second attempt: “look (look) at (at) me (me)” tried to whip out his echoing talent but nuh-uh.

• third attempt: “i’M tELLiNg yOuR pAreNTS”

• finally giving up, he pulled up a chair next to you, quietly sifting through the contents on your table.

• just then, he noticed something.

• snatching the to-do list from your clutch, he read through it, the look on his face hardening.

• “what the hell is this?” he gritted his teeth, fixating his intense gaze on you. shocked and frightened at his sudden change in mood, you stumbled over your words. “e-erands f-for my f-friends?”

• he scoffed, “your friends? you call them your friends? they’re using you, for god’s sake.” he scanned through the list again, shaking his head and turning to you. “why can’t you see it? they are using you.”

• “n-no, they said they were busy.” you felt the need to stand up for your friends, especially since they looked like they’ve got so much on their plate when they pleaded with you, puppy-eyed look on their countenance.

• he closed his eyes, as though trying to steady his furious, short breaths. “believe me, i can guarantee you that all of them, who have given you these tasks, are either at a party, drinking, sleeping or watching netflix right now. in fact, haejung just posted a picture of her with her boyfriend half an hour ago.”

• whipping out his cell phone, he scrolled to her profile, confirming what he just said.

• “but-“

• “look, y/n. you have to understand this. you can’t keep helping people like that.” he reached for your shoulders, gaze boring into yours.

• “think of it this way. if everyone in the world only has one last glass of water to drink from, people who can’t take the thirst anymore will start sipping from their glass. and once they’ve downed the entire thing, if they are greedy, they’re going to ask others or more water. and people like you,” he pointed at you, his tone exasperated and furious.

• “people like you, who puts others before yourself, will give their water to them. i get that you’re magnanimous and will hate to see anyone feel down, but before you know it, your drink will be empty. you will be the one suffering, whilst they enjoy the water you’ve given them.”

• “i’m blessed to have such a kind-hearted person by my side but, i hate it that you’re so naive. why can’t haejung finish up her own part for the project? i know for one it’s because she knows that you’ll do it for her and not complain about it afterwards! didn’t you see sungjae watching anime during lessons just now? he should face the consequences of his own actions! and lena is just lazy to walk over to the library to print her stuff out. why are you wasting the ink for a thirty-page document for her when she can’t even be bothered to waste her time and get it done herself?” he rubbed his temples, pacing up and down the room.

• “you’re the smartest person i’ve ever seen, but you’re an idiot too. and you know what’s the worst kind of idiots in the world? kind idiots. because people will trample all over you and make you do their work. and i hate that you’re just that.”

• huffing, he walked to the end of the room, sliding open the balcony door and slamming it, going outside to clear his mind.

• and at this moment, while others would expect you to be mad at the seemingly offensive words he had spouted our, you found yourself feeling nothing of that sort.

• first came the intimidation. this was the first time he had shouted at you like that, and you were shocked at how mad he was. the five hours you’ve been friends with him, he had only bickered with you, getting frustrated sometimes. but never like this.

• then came the realization. that you were in fact, just a puppet made for people to drag and pushed around. that people you thought you knew and liked were now anything but what you thought of them. and that you should probably get yourself away from them as soon as possible, though it might just be the hardest thing ever.

• then came the great epiphany that

• holy feck,, you liked him. you liked sungwoon and tonight’s incident just confirmed and in fact, caused you to fall for him even more. this was the first time someone ever cared for you like that, and it was...strange.

• but nice.

• and warm.

• and comfortable.

• and makes your heart beat-box and do dub-step.

• snapping out of your daze, you placed your hand on your chest in a bid to calm your erratically beating heart down.

• just then, sungwoon came in. he shuffled towards you sheepishly, rubbing the nape of his neck and looking anywhere but you.

• “u-uhm, i’m sorry for shouting at you just now, you wanna put some face packs? i brought some from innisfree over. we can use those and w-watch a movie?”

• you, observing his handsome features that now seem to be more prominent to you: ......

• “i’ll teach you my skincare routine???”

#wanna one #wanna one scenarios #wanna one imagines #wanna one fanfics #yoon jisung #hwang minhyun #ong seongwoo #kim jaehwan #kang daniel #park jihoon #park woojin #bae jinyoung #lee daehwi #lai guanlin #ha sungwoon

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rkxsunggyu-blog · 8 years ago

Text

TRC’S Triple Threat Challenge | Pray & Loser (Sunny Hill & BigStar Mashup)⚙️ Time: 1:36

The first words out of his mouth weren’t ones he meant to say aloud: “WOW, it’s really Tiger JK!” He’s so shocked to see one of his heroes that he stands there, dumbfounded and clutching the microphone with sweaty palms. This is happening. This is really, really happening. If he wasn’t held upright by the metal braces encapsulating his legs, his knees would be knocking together.

“Hello, I’m twenty-three year old Kim Gyusung-- I MEAN, Kim Sunggyu!” he stutters. The sour sting of bile surges from his stomach to the back of his throat. It takes everything in him not to projectile vomit at the judges table. His nervous laughter is accompanied by the usual snorting, amplified to nightmarish proportions by the microphone. “I’m p-performing a song that has a special meaning to me,” he says. Deep breath. Deep breath. Deep breaths.

“I’m the Triple Threat that’ll keep on multiplying!”

Why did he say that? Why did he say something so cheesy and cringe-worthy? He can’t go anywhere without coming off like a goof, can he? Embarrassing himself wasn’t part of his audition plan, which was meticulously outlined in a journal at home. Sunggyu’s strategy for the performance is to stay within his ability. As he takes a deep breath, he reminds himself to keep his performance clean. He can’t let the competition make him desperate. From the moment he’s stepped on stage, he’s been restraining the desire to kick his performance up a notch. It’s tempting to add vocal runs or extra flair in his dance. But, he refrains and sticks to his plan. It’s better to be excellent with the basics than be mediocre – or worse, make a total fool of himself – by trying to reach the level of the other contestants. Even if he doesn’t realize it, his charisma may carry most of his audition.

Sunggyu does a complete bow before the judges, clicks the microphone back onto the stand, and takes a deep breath. He’s going to tackle dancing first. The crowd must be wondering, he supposes, how someone like him planned on dancing. For the first few nights after reading about the competition, he’d wondered too. The official rules never outlined what kind of dance they wanted to see. As long as it classifies as a dance, he can check off that box for the competition requirements. It’s unrealistic for him, both physically and training-wise, to burst into contemporary dance. The competition seemed impossible. He’d mused that if sleight of hand counted as a dance form, then maybe his zero chance of winning could be bumped up to one percent. He’s always been good with his hands -- quick with working wooden puzzles, excellent sleight-of-hand for his magic tricks, and fast to wrap holiday presents at his mother’s shop.

His hands. His hands were the solution. He doesn’t need his legs to dance.

It’s just his style to have a clever answer for everything.

The music begins, but there’s not a single instrument to be heard. Instead, it’s a careful selection of sound effects he’d spliced together on a friend’s computer. Screeching tires. Scrunched metal. Heavy breathing. Cellphone dial tone. Sirens. All the while, he’s been creating a story using his upper body alone. It’s a form of street dance called tutting, the art of creating illusions through finger and wrist movement. Masters can make it look hypnotic -- like their bones are liquid, like their muscles are silk, and like each movement is a puzzle piece sliding into place. Sunggyu is only moderate in skill, but his background in sleight of hand finally seems useful. His fingers loop and twirl, wrists rotate and snap, and shoulders roll when necessary. He concentrates and is thankful he didn’t choreograph anything beyond his current capabilities. He needs to finish the combinations seamlessly if he doesn’t want to look like a fool.

Here comes his favorite part. Sunggyu closes his eyes and keeps them shut, but it’s part of the routine rather than nerves. In the backing track, the sirens fade so voices can be heard instead. He’d recorded one of his friends saying “clear” and melded it with another royalty free sound effect: the zap of a defibrillator. Eyes still closed, his hands are clasped over his chest as he introduces another street style. He’s bopping, isolating the chest to move it back and forth while flexing. Every time he hears a zap, he double-bops and stops. There are only three zaps to save time and on the third, the hands locked over his chest unfurl like flower petals. They twirl in a final, spinning illusion and grab the microphone. He hopes that he made it clear his hands were supposed to represent his heart...or should he not have done that? It’s not like he’s supposed to be writing an essay thesis on stage.

The background transition to the instrumentals are choppy, no better than the average high school student assigned an editing project. But, the ideas and authenticity were still there. A great performer can entertain. A great artist can make people feel -- make them cry until each blink stings, make them belly laugh until they gasp for air, unbottle the emotions they keep inside of them. He might not be able to hit a whistle note, but he could try telling a story with his voice.

“Someone told me...”

The first few notes wobble. He’s nervous, no matter how meticulously he’s prepared. From the baggy clothes to help mask stiff body movements to the chunky glasses that obscure most of his face, he’s put thought into every detail. Then why is he sinking?

...To pray, to dream...”

The next few notes wobbles, too. The stakes are high and he’s choking. He’s choking in front of Tiger JK – oh, and it’s so obvious. The performance anxiety happened the morning of the modeling competition as well, but he doesn’t have a bottle of soju to loosen him up this time. All he has is himself. He closes his eyes and thinks about his performances at the spring festival. He thinks of his candid performance of To The Happy World. He thinks of how free he felt – the whirling, soaring, cage-breaking feelings as his worries slipped away. Sunggyu feels the tension in his shoulders melt away.

Now, his notes are crystal clear. They’re strong and it’s free, just like that day at the festival. He came in with nothing, so nothing is lost if he leaves empty-handed.

That it will come true no matter what it is Tell me everything, please look and tell me Please tell me to stop.

He knows that feeling. He knows that earth-shattering moment when you realize your parents and teachers lied to you. Nobody is special in this world; your report cards and mother’s report cards don’t mean shit in society. There’s no safety, no guarantees, and no happily ever afters when you’re an adult. Maybe you’re not good as everyone thought you were. Maybe you’re disappointing them. Your teachers promised that you could be astronauts and CEOs, but you end off paying debt by doing laundry for rich kids. Maybe your parents promised to protect you from the monster in your closet, but what about the bank? The big, cold building that seizes your home and let’s you sleep on the streets. You can’t just wish on a star for a home, even if all your childhood movies promised it would come true.

You know this, yet you keep dreaming. You keep dreaming and dreaming. You wish you could give up. Oh, you would give anything to stamp hope out like a light. Hope is cruel, mocking you as you dig your own grave of fantasy and make-believe.

I only hear rough, heartless sighs I never get to hear a sigh of relief I’m praying and calling for someone to rescue me.

If everything is going to plan, he should be around forty-nine seconds into the audition. Instead of jumping into the chorus, he’s inserted a rap segment that went well with the instrumental. The original song didn’t have a rap portion, so he’d selected one that helped convey his story best. The weight of people’s eyes -- expecting entertainment and ready to thrash him online if they didn’t get it -- fall heavy on him. His hands are sweaty and he grips the microphone a little harder, not wanting it to slip.

Honestly, I’ve never fit in with the world I was always alone It’s been a long time since I’ve forgotten about love I can’t listen to hopeful love songs anymore You and me both We’re just sad clowns, tamed and scripted I’ve come too far I’m coming home I wanna go back to when I was young.

He hopes he delivered the lines the way he wanted to; abandoned and bitter. Rapping to one of Tiger JK’s own artists was pretty ballsy. He feels like he’s moving into autopilot to keep from breaking apart on stage. Would that piss off the CEO? It’s a quick, twenty second rap to make sure he qualifies all the requirements. But, it was carefully selected to emphasize what he wanted people to feel from his performance. He’s careful that way -- an authentic individual, even if at times he’s written off as a fool or outright crashes and burns.

The rap should clock in at twenty seconds and without wasting time, he dives back into the song. He’s delivering the chorus, then a few closing lines taken from the end of the song that should wrap up the performance well.

Stand by me in necessary Little by little you get more sick Lalala lalala lalala lalala Don’t cry for me and I’m sorry

He’d only tampered with the lyrics once. In his eyes, it was a good reason: he never wants people to feel sorry or pity him. He just wants to be himself, not a sob story or pity party.

Little by little everything you lost starts to cave in. Someone said that life is like this That things become so dull, no matter what it is Tell me everything, please look at me and tell me Please tell me to wake up.

That was the end.

All that charisma melts into a puddle of awkward as he stares at the judges table, wide-eyed like the weight of what he’s just done finally hit him. What was he doing up here? No, that wasn’t the right question. The question he asks himself is why does he think he belongs up here? What does he do? Should he thank them? He has to do SOMETHING, he’s just standing there holding the microphone.

Sunggyu isn’t sure if he mumbled a thank you. All he knows is he jammed the microphone back into a stand, backed up like he committed a crime, and ran off stage.

#rkttc #we end this like napoleon dynamite #gyu is so embarrassing but also SO EMO???#solo #cw: hospital mention

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thelastyearinmyforties · 8 years ago

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Day 92: The things I read...

I am a reader. I love to read. LOVE. I’ve read two books in the last two weeks and am a third of the way through another, which I started at lunch today. I read fast, and when I get engaged in a story - which is sometimes from page one but many times after a chapter or two - I can hardly stand to put a book down. I stayed up too late the other night finishing one of those books and could easily stay up all night to finish the one I’m reading now. But part of me wants to wait a bit so I can hang out with these characters a bit more. I just love to read! I love to escape into the land the characters inhabit whether that’s the north side of Chicago (in my current book), a dystopian future on an unknown planet, Victorian Europe or the streets of New York City. It’s probably the most relaxing thing I do other than actually going to the spa.

When I was a kid I was all about Nancy Drew. I read all of them and over the years have been picking up old copies from used bookstores to rebuild my collection. But it wasn’t just about Nancy…I read everything I could get my hands on and for several years read above my grade level. In high school I read fiction, primarily that which was written by Stephen King. I mean he did write a book about me after all. Fine, it wasn’t really about me but at least he spelled my name right. After high school I lost interest in reading, likely because college requires a different kind of reading and I felt like I couldn’t read anything else. When you’re required to read something the joy of it is completely lost.

Somewhere toward the end of college I picked up a little non-required reading when Field of Dreams came out. After seeing the movie I decided I wanted to read the book, Shoeless Joe, by WP Kinsella. And then I wanted to read other books about baseball, and for a year or so that’s all I read. Then came grad school and well, it was back to a different kind of reading.

At some point my mind shifted and I only had a desire to read non-fiction, so I read more books about baseball, biographies and autobiographies and that sort of thing. I read semi-regularly but I wouldn’t have called myself a reader, which seems insane now, but you know, life changes and many things change along with it.

After grad school and my year-long internship I started reading a lot of Christian books, many by Chuck Swindoll, designed to inspire and motivate, and I loved them. I know now I was really trying to figure out who I was and where I belonged. I knew I was a Christian but I never felt like I totally fit in. I read books about being single and how that was okay and how I should wait for Mr. Right (still waiting by the way, but that’s a separate blog). I read very little else during this time of my life and while I read a lot I don’t think I would have called myself a reader. I’m a tiny bit embarrassed to tell you that I read the entire Left Behind series. Yes. Every. Single. Book. And I think I even knew they weren’t great as I was reading them but for some reason I didn’t feel like I would be a good Christian if I didn’t read them. Trust me, I know better now. But beyond those books, I was still reading primarily non-fiction, and I might have said I liked to read but I wouldn’t have said I was a reader.

But then came a little series of books about a young wizard with a lightning bolt scar on his forehead. I heard about the books but didn’t actually care until then I started seeing the preview for the first movie, and I knew I needed to read the book before it came out. So I bought the paperback and read it on a plane ride to visit my mom. I finished it that night. To be fair, the first book is pretty short. While on vacation I bought books two and three, also in paperback, and I read one while I was there and the other on my way home, finishing it shortly after I got back. And then I had to WAIT. Book four wasn’t out yet and I was dying. I needed it. But here’s the other thing you need to know…I decided that since I started buying the series in paperback that I couldn’t buy the hardcover version. This is still a thing for me with all the books I buy. So I waited for the paperback to come out. I know! It seems insane now. Like I couldn’t check it out from the library or just download a digital version? Maybe digital versions weren’t a thing then. Anyway, the point is, Harry Potter made me a reader again, and I will forever be grateful to JK Rowling for that. I now own all the books in paperback and actually own a hardcover set of the UK versions, which is actually pretty cool.

And then came chick lit and authors like Jane Green and Jennifer Weiner who made me realize that it was okay to be smart and single and that if I was myself the right guy would come along (still waiting!). I found other authors through them, and then…well, then my closest friend on the planet wrote and published her first novel and my world of reading changed dramatically.

First and foremost, reading Tasha’s books (Tasha Alexander…look her up and buy all of her books!) made me realize that I actually like historical fiction and mystery. To be fair, there’s a little romance in them, too, and that certainly doesn’t hurt. I have learned so much about writing and reading and the world of publishing from Tasha, and it’s all made me love reading even more. It’s certainly made me a better writer, and I get giddy every time she sends me an early draft to read.

Through Tasha I found other genres and other authors - several of whom I now consider good friends. I jump from the cozy mysteries of Laura Bradford (aka Elizabeth Lynn Casey) to the thrillers of Andrew Grant (Tasha’s husband) to the delightful novels of Renee Rosen and Allie Larkin and Christine Son (now Fickel) and the genius that is Bill Cameron. While Bill’s thriller series was a little extreme for me, his new young adult series is one of my favorites - I need more Joey in my life, sir! And there are more. So many more. And of course I continue to find other authors as I explore bookstores, where I usually get myself in far too much trouble but I don’t even care. They’re books!! I do have an eReader but if given the choice, I will always, always, always choose the physical book. There’s just nothing like the feel of the paper, the way the spine cracks, and the way the cover invites me in.

In the past few years I’ve also Kickstarted a couple of books by new authors and without the magic of the internet I never would have known about them. Had I seen the books in the store I’m not sure I would have read them but after supporting them through the process of making the books, I count them among my favorites: Nick Miller’s Isn’t It Pretty to Think So? and Jack Cheng’s These Days: A Novel. I discovered Nick Miller on tumblr and his book was the first project I ever backed. I love that.

So yeah…now I read all the time. And it’s primarily fiction but I jump around from genre to genre as I mentioned above. The last two books I read were young adult novels - Paper Boats by Dee Lestari and Flower by Elizabeth Craft. I found both of these randomly while searching for other things. That is quite often how I find some of my favorite reads. The book I’m currently reading, Windfall, is the latest novel from one of my favorite YA authors, Jennifer E Smith. Honestly, since I decided I didn’t actually have to be a young adult to read YA books, it’s become my favorite genre. I still love good chick lit, which most seem to call women’s fiction now - Sarah Pekkanen, Allison Winn Scotch, Alyssa Goodnight, and of course, the wonderful Jane Green, who I will never get enough of. I love cozy mysteries and historical fiction and while I’ve tried to love thrillers the truth is, I really just love Andrew and his are the only ones I read.

I can’t fully explain why I love YA so much. Maybe it’s the joy of living a youth I didn’t experience. Maybe it’s the fact that I’m almost 50 and I want to relive some of those younger days. Mostly I think it’s just the fact that I love good stories and YA authors write some of the best ones around. Don’t even bother trying to argue that point with me. You will lose. The fact is, I’m young at heart. I tell people all the time that I’m actually 12 so it makes sense that this is my favorite genre.

This has been a very long post but clearly I’m passionate about this topic. I came by it very naturally. Both of my parents are avid readers - mostly non-fiction for them, and my step parents are readers, too. Between the five of us we probably own 3 million books. That might be a slight exaggeration. Or it might not be.

If you stuck it out this long, thanks! If you just skimmed and got to this part more quickly than others, that’s okay. Now you’ve got more time to read a book. See what I did there?

So tell me…what do you love to read?

#life #books #reading #nancy drew #stephen king #wp kinsella #jk rowling #harry potter #tasha alexander #jennifer e smith #jane green #laura bradford #bill cameron

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ginnyzero · 6 years ago

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The Cult of Celebrity and Fashion Design

(I touched on this on my twitter @ginnyzero.) If there are two things that I’ve noticed writing and fashion design have in common is that everyone thinks they can do them. It can’t be all that hard to write a book or come up with a bunch of clothes in the same design and theme. I mean, anyone can write a fiction book, you don’t need to go to school for that. (It doesn’t mean that everyone has the talent or stamina to do it!) There are famous designers that didn’t go to school, that means it can’t be all that difficult.

And so enter the celebrities who are looking to increase their name awareness and expand their brand into the world of fashion design and fiction book writing. Kanye West, Heidi Klum, Kelly Osbourne, Tyra Banks, Amber Benson, Nicole Ricci, Gwen Stefani, that female country singer I can’t remember the name of. Hell, even companies like Kohl’s get into it having lines in their store designed by celebrities like Avril Lavigne. Now, some designers like Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen seem to have turned their brand into a real business. Nicole Ricci is more serious. Amber Benson has an entire series of books. (I barely got through book one despite the cool premise. Take from that what you will.)

Now, I’m glad of these celebrities success! I wish them all the best in the world. I’m happy they have their fame and their fortune from acting, singing and so on. That’s great.

I find their forays into fashion and make-up and book writing to be suspect. I can’t speak of their motivations. I don’t know if their passion truly lies in fashion versus music. (Though I doubt it in some cases.) I have to question why they decide to enter another creative field when it feels like it is supposed to fuel or be fueled by their other creative field.

Look, I’m a writer and a fashion designer. I’ve been doing both for about the same amount of time. I’m going to tell you right now that my writing and my designing have very little to do with each other. People find descriptions of clothes in books to be boring and they don’t go to clothing stores to buy books! (And I do notice that GRRM and JK Rowling aren’t creating fashion labels. Hmmm.)

The fashion field is similar to the corporate field. You have to work your way up a ladder. Most designers don’t jump out of fashion school straight into the design business of their own label. For one, they don’t have the money. And for two, they tend not to have the business skills. (Design and fashion business are two different majors, go figure. In fact, most schools don’t offer fashion business. They offer fashion merchandising, but not fashion business.)

Fashion designers that are starting out tend to spend at least ten years working for other people. In these ten years a lot of them burn out and decide to leave the field for the next crop of fashion hopefuls to find out how unglamorous working in fashion really is. They pay is low. The cost of living in a city is high. There is very little room for advancement.

And in book publishing, traditional publishers only put out so many books in a year. Hundreds and hundreds of hopefuls query agents putting their hopes and dreams and magnum opus works into a slush pile on the dream that they’re good enough to get a publishing contract. Most of them never get more than a rejection notice that gives no reason other than “I’m not feeling it at this time.” Your book, no matter how good it is, is not what the agent is looking for right that second because it might be the wrong age category or have a spelling mistake or they’ve seen too many vampires today. (The main problem with this being is that you don’t know what is wrong with the book or if it “Just isn’t the right time to try and sell this book” because they don’t tell you.)

Fashion isn’t a zero sum game. Business isn’t a zero sum game. (Book publishing in the traditional manner seems to be closest.) Just because a celebrity like Kanye starts a fashion label and does a show doesn’t mean that an up and coming designer can’t do the same thing. Kanye has two things over a designer that’s not a celebrity, money and a brand name.

Now a celebrity that writes a book and there are so many slots that a publisher is willing to print in a year and they have the choice between the celebrity and another author and they choose the celebrity, then yes, that other author loses their publishing chance because next year may not be a good time for their book. So, it becomes more of a zero sum game. Sure, the author can go indie and publish themselves but take it from an indie author it is a lot of work and it is not the same.

Celebrities, to an extent, skip ahead of the line both in fashion and in publishing. Celebrities have a name. They have a brand. They have power and money to invest. They don’t go to school to learn to design a collection. They pull swipes from magazines and hire others to do it for them most the time. There are exceptions to this rule of course. I’ve mentioned them, like the Olsen twins. They’re exceptions. Just like Tom Ford not going to school for fashion and Vera Wang being unable to drape and draw are also exceptions to most of the fashion industry.

Because celebrities have a name, investors and magazine editors and publishing houses are much more willing to go with someone that the common person is going to recognize and has a huge marketing machine in place than a young and upcoming designer with fresh in the moment ideas or a book writer that no one has heard of. The up and coming designer, the unknown book writer, they are too much of a risk. The publisher, the investor would have to put more money into setting up a marketing machine for them. They’d have to do more advertise. It’s more money out with less guarantee of money coming back in!

The celebrity is just good business.

So, in order to even get a deal, many writers and yes, fashion designers, feel they have to create a social media following and a brand before they finish or query their book to try and prove they have people following them. (And I’m going to tell you right now that follows and likes do not equal sales of original works.) Fashion designers try out for reality shows like Project Runway to get a chance to put their face out there and get some recognition. $125,000 goes really fast in the fashion world and that is the high end of a reality show cash payout.

There aren’t a lot of Christian Siriano’s for a reason. Christian Siriano had savvy and chutzpah after the show and delivered. His success was less on Project Runway and more on using Project Runway as a launching pad to get what he wanted and being able to follow through! (I mean, good on him.)

To me, having 35,000 people follow you on Instagram because they like the pictures of the books you’re reading doesn’t mean to me that those same 35,000 people are going to buy the books you’re writing. And if an agent and publisher falls for that, that’s on them. (To me that says you’ve spent way, way too much time on Instagram and other people’s books rather than writing.)

Fashion designers that go to school and writers no matter what university track they went through, fanfiction or traditional, work really hard because they had passion for what they do, learned the skills and struggled one way or the other in very competitive industries now have to face off against a celebrity that are most likely only trying to increase their brand awareness to have their name on more things and have the money to make it happen.

Then fashion designers also have to face the competition of the big established brand houses that are owned by huge corporations. Most of the large fashion brands are owned by LVMH or by Fendi. The same is in traditional publishing, there are six major publishing houses and all other publishing houses are owned by them. Television is just as bad! These big companies buy their advertising in blocks in the major magazines essentially. Runway shows cost at least 100,000 dollars per season. Fashion weeks tend to have corporate sponsors for very good reasons.

In this world, it’s hard for the small designer, the unknown writer, to get their little voice to be heard against the loud yelling of big corporations, celebrities and social media.

I wish celebrities all the success.

They also frustrate me. These people are also creatives. Some of them were poor and barely making it before being “discovered.” In order to be successful, they had to be creative and good in the fields that first launched them into fame! And instead of using their fame and fortune to help people in other creative fields, they barge into those creative fields and try to use their name to style themselves as experts. Because yes, to design a collection, there is expertise involved. I wrote an entire seven post series on what it takes to simply design a collection and that didn’t cover the sample making and the model fittings and the actual manufacturing process!

Writers also go through long processes to write books with the world building and the character making and creating this thing called plot and having the characters talk to each other and have emotional and personal growth arcs. Then they get nitpicky about sentence structure and repeated phrases and did I use that word too many times?

As a fashion designer and a little known writer, if you’re a celebrity and you want to dabble in fashion design or your agent things you should write a book, turn around and pay it forward by sponsoring someone in that field already instead.

As I said on twitter, celebrities can treat a little known fashion designer as a business investment instead of treating the field of fashion like an extension of their branding and marketing. Sponsorship and investments by celebrities of the day and by nobles and major businessmen were how many of the major older fashion houses started.

The payoff will be different. The byline won’t be as big. Sure, there will be money because of course they’ll want a return on their investment. But there is also the emotional payout. “I helped someone else achieve my dreams the way someone else helped me achieve mine.” “I helped start that brand. I helped build it.” Be the positive change you needed back when you were struggling. Sponsor a designer, any ethnicity, any gender. Invest in their talent.

There’s a reason why I’m more willing to support someone like Vin Diesel, than I’m willing to support someone like Kanye. Vin’s not only using his money to help people, he’s focusing on what he’s good at making movies, so he can make more money to help more people.

I feel like a lot of this can be laid at the feet of the 80s when shoe designers started having sports celebrities “design” and endorse their shoes. By the time I hit college, celebrities had already entered the designing landscape and they haven’t left, picking up and dropping projects and slapping their name on things for a couple seasons before chasing something else. None of the students and indeed very few if any of the teachers talked about this in a positive light. They didn’t see how having celebrities as designers helped the fashion community or helped the rest of the world take fashion more seriously.

(Despite the fact everyone has to wear clothes, most the world finds the world of fashion ridiculous. Things like the Devil wears Prada and actual true stories from the fashion world and people in the fashion world don’t help.)

Celebrities were seen as road blocks and rivals that hadn’t earned their title as rivals. They were taking jobs from us. The students and teachers didn’t see them as job creators, especially since the celebrities were sending their manufacturing overseas like everyone else. If celebrities could step into the fashion world without an education and try to fake it and make it instead of employing actual designers, why were we even at school? What as the point? We felt doomed before we even graduated.

Think of a world where instead of starting his own fashion line (that no one takes seriously other than Kanye) if Kanye had sponsored someone like Edmund or Anthony or any of the male black fashion designers from Project Runway and launched them into success. What happens when a celebrity other than Oprah says “I read this obscure book by little known author and loved it?”

What happens when creatives in different fields get behind each other instead of putting themselves into competition with each other?

If I was a famous fashion designer, I wouldn’t go and lay down a music track and think that means I should be successful in music or that it should enhance my brand to have music as well as clothes. It’s not that I don’t have a decent voice, because I do. It’s because my passion isn’t music. My passion is fashion. My passion is writing. So, I wish that these musicians and actors would have the same respect for my field(s) as I have for theirs.

Right now this feels really important to me as I finish up my branding portfolio and try to think ahead about where I can get a creative job in fashion or branding or any creative consulting/interior design, hell, I'll be a wedding shop consultant at this point. It's an issue that hasn't gone away. I don't foresee it doing so in the near future either.

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