#joansholmes

[shortkingvi]

gimme ur hot take on tswift/galoyrism (not me trying to get you killed)

my only hot take on taylor currently is just that ttpd is absolute dookie and i’m mad at her for it

gaylorism though???? i’ve told u about this before for SURE but i’ll repeat it here for everyone. i wanna write an academic paper on the following:

essentially, i think the whole gaylor phenomenon comes from a deep desire to queer the american dream. taylor represents the quintessential american who’s allowed to access the american dream: white, cis, straight, attractive, wealthy, popular, able bodied, etc. the only thing that doesn’t fall into the standard qualifications for the dream is her womanhood which is why she relies so heavily on boring neolib white feminism,,,,, a man can shout when a women must only whisper, that kinda shit

for gaylors though, this is insufficient. their major barrier of access to the american dream is typically their queerness; being a - usually - chronically online person means that they need to see a queerness that is not only socially accepted, but celebrated. so, they imagine this distant far off land where taylor comes out one day and it irrevocably shakes the foundation of the mainstream because she’s still the american dream except now she’s queer and that implies so many things for them

i’m not articulating this the best because tummy hurts and tired, but in essence i think that there’s an assumption that an out, queer taylor swift would be a roundabout way of allowing the dominant acceptable americanness metabolize queerness in a way that normalizes it entirely.

i saw a post from one of them once that was like “if taylor really is straight, doesn’t that make everything she does boring and no different from the million other straight stories we’ve heard before?” and like…. you are so close to the point, my love. A: she’s a human person and not a doll for you to dress up, so yeah, it would totally make things boring and unimaginative. but the bigger point is B: you’ve mistaken the fact that she’s always relied on ambiguity about muses as her giving secret hints of some illicit queer romance

she’s the absolute paragon of american cishet acceptability which is why if she were queer, that entirely changes the idea of who gets to access the dream. it’s wild stuff, but with some more research i really think that might be what it is

send me a 🔥 for an unpopular opinion!

[sapphicscience]

top 5 THE characters of all time

this is going to have such a recency bias probably but we will see

1. taissa turner my favorite woman my one and only

2. root "root" root....literally THE character

3. I have to give sameen shaw a slot too bc she is SUCH A CHARACTER!!!!

4. eve polastri....I never watched past mid-s3 but she is always and forever my best psychosexually obsessed milf

5. shauna shipman—literally who is doing it like her. still hallucinating her dead girlbestfriend at 43

send me "top 5" questions!

[nonbinaryelphaba]

hacks convo with @joansholmes

[nonbinaryelphaba]

@joansholmes

i love long distance / online friendship specifically. very much. like there are... patterns and ways that distance specifically creates bubbles of understanding and knowledge and intimacy... wanna be able to tell when you're on your way to work because you backread on your commute and i see you in my notifs. 2 of my friends put their feet in the opposite sides of the atlantic ocean on a phone call once. love getting people's flight numbers so i can see on the tracker that they're delayed on tarmac and text them to cheer em up. love a shared playlist love a spotify jam love streaming. getting a goodnight message while you're making lunch and knowing how time is passing for someone halfway around the world... love making dinner and getting ":V :V :V" reactions in the chat and having to figure out what dinner emoji to reply with. when you get to hear all the little things... you know? sometimes you are actually closer to someone when you are riding around in their pocket all day.

[mjwatson]

Happy birthday you beautiful human being, I hope you have a wonderful day you goddamn amazing woman ❤️🥳❤️🥳❤️🥳

ily kathy. thank u for being my life guru, i am no longer making my own decisions,,, you will make them for me

[professorspork]

Have you seen the season premiere of Elementary yet? Thoughts? Predictions for the season?

i’m actually INCREDIBLY BEHIND on Elementary, I haven’t seen anything for like the last season and a half--I’m hoping to catch up this summer!

[orngepeel]

every 8th question pls

8. How often do you listen to music?

all the fuckin time complete silence stresses me tf out

16. Are you going out of town soon?

yea im goin 2 london w my fam for christmas & my bday !

24. What are you sitting on right now?

mmmyyyy bed :0

32. Do you like watching scary movies?

not even a little bit lol

40. Did you have a good day yesterday?

yea lol it was p chill

48. Were you single over the last summer?

ye i broke up w my ex in july

56. Do you think you like someone?

yall seen my blog recently lol ?

64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?

would not b surprised if my ex bf was but honestly probably nobody

72. Can you commit to one person?

yea lol

80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?

idk probs nothing maybe clean

88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

lol i would accept an apology & presents from her yea

96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?

ya @my-average-lady ;) 👀👀👀

[cathartesauras]

❌ i kept reading it as kinks and not kin and i was wondering why you were giving out really specific niche kinks but yeah anyway whomst am i kin with

your government assigned kin is chester the cheetah

[sapphicscience-archive]

root, shaw, joss, john, harold - 10 LOL

10. To cut and style my hair

OH JEEZ.

okay actually i thought about it for a second and when was the last time ANY of these characters (except joss, maybe) have been able to actually go get a haircut.

1) joss - seems competent at everything she tries, probably cuts her son’s hair.

2) root - seems the second most likely to know how to do hair. adept with sharp objects, plus her hair looks pretty good all the time and she’s been on the run since she was like, twelve. so that’s coming from somewhere.

3) harold - i think he would be alarmed initially but end up being a perfectionist about it. would never let me get out of the chair.

4) john - would be very uncomfortable but has also probably been cutting his own hair for a long time, and again, it looks all right.

5) shaw - girl has never cut hair in her life. she has like four inches of split ends. she would shave my head no matter what i asked for. which is like, fine, but doesn’t fit every single occasion.

send me characters and a situation!

[shortkingvi]

bro if you’ve ever had a vietnamese banh mi, you’d know carrot pops off in a sandwich/sub (granted the grated carrot in the banh mi is a lil pickled)

ALSO I feel like everyone is picturing sliced carrots but the carrots in our subway subs are GRATED :(

omg okay grated carrot is a different story entirely but still… pickled is an enjoyable thing, regular carrot is just kinda… there????? but what do i know tho i put cucumber on my subs

[sapphicscience]

you belong with me + wonderland + ours for the fave tswift lyric thing :)))))

ybwm: dreaming bout the day when you wake up and fine that what you're lookin for/has been here the whole time!

wonderland: haven't you heard what becomes of curious minds?

ours: I'll fight their doubt and give you faith/with this song for you

thank you!!!! hehehe

send me a taylor swift song and I'll tell you my favorite lyrics!

[sbidey]

joansholmes replied to your photoset “thona are these good selfies”

wtf is thona

the best @wonderwomans

[starchasertonight]

@joansholmes said:  is lena femme or 'lipstick lesbian' or? how would u categorise maggie and alex (i am a clueless gay)

ooh boy ok so

going with the fanon assumption that lena is a lesbian, i would call lena femme and borderline high femme. (high femme to me meaning ultra-femininity beyond even your average straight girl; constant heels, dresses, make-up, etc). lipstick lesbian generally refers to femme lesbians who only date other femme lesbians. so whether or not to call lena lipstick would depend on how you perceive kara and how you headcanon lena’s previous sexual/romantic relationships. i’m very open to calling lena lipstick but im not committed to her being lipstick. ‘cause i could also see her hooking up with some really hot well dressed androgynous girl.

i would say kara is femme with a prep aesthetic. (femme as a label is not just for lesbians).

the challenge with all this is that television lesbians are disproportionately feminized for straight audience acceptance. gender non-conformity gets coded in behavior instead, when presented at all. so, like, alex is not femme but the show codes her as femme-ish in how they do her hair and make up even though she’s buff as shit and kicks ass and doesnt have a very feminine personality. if the show let her, alex would be androgynous. not butch, per se. butch is not just about clothes, it’s about masculinity. and while alex is gender non-conforming i wouldn’t call her masculine. 

my friend and i had this whole text convo yesterday actually about how the greatest inaccuracy of sanvers so far is that alex hasn’t gotten a gay haircut since coming out yet.

maggie is the character that most resists stereotypical lesbian categorization, but her expression is common i just don’t know that there’s a word for it. she’s just a lesbian who isnt super feminine but likes keeping her long hair and likes wearing make up here and there but not all the time and owns both men’s and women’s shirts. she’s the kind of lesbian that passes as a straight girl to straight people, but gays who have been in the gay scene for a bit would quickly spot is a lesbian. 

i’m sure others would disagree with me on some of this and that’s fine, but those are my thoughts.

[mjwatson]

would you put your name in the triwizard cup? cause i would, i know there's a real chance u could die during one of the challenges but i think it could be fun, maybe because i've romanticised it too much or maybe there's something wrong with me. idk broegan, what do you think? would you throw your name in? (i ponder about at least once a week when i'm daydreaming lmfao)

oh god, no! i am not gifted in anything, and i’m sure that would transfer over into the wizarding world too. i absolutely hate all focus and attention on me. i’d die within minutes. it sounds like my nightmare.

but hell YEAH i would be cheering and rooting you on (even if ur not gryffindor).

[theunexpectedfifth]

joansholmes replied to your post “uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”

What's up

just in a weird mooooood

[orngepeel]

First impression: wow that cute guy, impression now: wow that cute guy with affinity for oranges

i sure love ornge;;;

sent me your first impressions vs current impressions!