#john sounds like a 50 year old man im

[queenieloveswriting]

Little orange bottles

A/N unedited little thing from a while ago, found loads of bits in my notes on my phone read this and though id post it let me know your thoughts ////hella old ngl sounds like shit srry ladsssss xoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxTW--Abuse//Blood//Bad thoughs ig sorry not good w warnings sorry if this triggers anhyone 

*beep     beep     beep*

Your alarm rang through the room for what seemed to be the fifth time this morning.It was now 6:30am and school began in two hours unlike the majority of students in kildare county you enjoyed school and, your (only) friend pope definitely made it worthwile.You both loved school,people like his friends jj and John b didn’t like school.

Why are you awake at 6:30 again?....right!

You look over to yourself in your mirror and glance at your schedule sticky taped to the corner; 

*DAISYS SCHEDULE*

6:30-wake up

6:45-shower

7:00-get ready

7:20-read

7:50-breakfast/pillz 

8:00-head to Heywards

Obeying the list, you hopped into the shower and got yourself prepared for the day, brushing your teeth washing your face and applying a light amount of makeup. A tinted moisturiser, clear mascara and brow gel, In attempt to tame your wild hair you collected into a cute messy ponytail, breaking three hair bands in the possess. Putting your glasses on you choose your outfit, due to the heat you opted for something casual, a blue denim skirt with a black crop top and a oversized blue flannel top  covering  just to the bottom of you skirt 

You went downstairs and packed some fruit into your bag. Opting to take your breakfast as today's lunch, knowing Mrs. Heyward would invite you in for ‘leftovers’ from their breakfast. Shouting  goodbye to your mum who was no doubt still in bed exhausted from her night shift.

Running out the door grabbing your phone, headphones and favourite book ‘to kill a mockingbird’. I plugged in my headphones playing my ‘reading playlist’ and read as i walked up to heywards,occasionally looking up so I don’t walk into any unwanted attention. The third time checking your surroundings you realise you made it to popes in record time, because his mom came out ushering you and him in in for ‘leftovers’ .Pope rolled his eyes sending you   a silent apology. You didn’t mind though she was more a mother to you than your actual blood.

“Hey nerd "pope greeted you pushing your glasses up your nose 

“Hey geek” you replied, slapping his hands away, he pulled you into a quick hug and followed h8im and his mum into the kitchen.

“Whatcha reading this time?”he asked making you laugh slightly “Harper lee my friend” you replied  holding up your book as he rolled his eyes “why am I not surprised ,you know the book doesn't change right every time you read it "he asked playfully “I know pope, but it’s a classic and i don’t have enough to get a new book until my shift next week so I’m not complaining “you sassed

“Yeah you're know that I’ve said you can borrow my books anytime “he asked

“Yeah but you won’t let me write notes in the margins pope! "you explained “because what about MY notes “he exclaimed and you both erupted into laughter.God,you're such geeks you mentally sighed.Mrs.Heyward scolded at us both for arguing and gave us some pancakes and fruit.

Mr.Heward barged through the doors shouting about some ‘arrogant snotty kook man’ and turned around shily when he heard you and pope laughing. "daisy hey sweetheart you need me to save you or you alright?” he asked, referring to his wife’s overwhelming mothering. You shook your head quietly declining his offer, smiling you replied “no sir it's fine, "you laughed "Heyward you need any help with deliveries?” you asked hopeful as you needed to buy some things for school. Being a pogue you tended to have to fend yourself, plus it gave you something to do. “Sure do doll, tomorrow morning,7 sharp you’n’my boy can help out and pope make sure you ask that Maybank if he's helping out too, need to know who goes so y'all come back alive”he joked”thank you sir”you shouted as he was halfway out the door.Turning back round to pope “maybank?” you asked, raising your eyebrow hinting you had absolutely no idea who he was talking about,”my friend jj you know the blonde who gets into all the fights i told you about”he answered and you nodded,still searching for an answer ”he's coming tomorrow?” you quizzed “yeah probably,plus i think it's about time you met my friends they all think i made you up”he laughed”c'mon we've gotta eat then go”

As if on queue Mrs Heyward shouted at you from across the hall telling you to eat before it got cold.After scoffing your breakfast down,it was time to leave.After regular smothering from your second mother you left.

“Sorry about them”he mumbled 

“It’s fine it’s nice having the whole parents as parents thing you know”you said .Pope knew about your mom not being around or well really a mom.He said you could come round whenever assuring his parents you were just friends,they loved you.

He nodded”you know your welcome whenever”he said and you nodded again

“Yeah but anyways how you feeling today about mrs.spiky hairs test smartass”you joked “we gon ace it y'all ready know her tests are easy”he dragged 

“True I’ve got all a’s every time”you smirked 

“Yeah same but to be fair even my friend John b could pass them and he didn't know that there were two different there’s until junior year so....”

You laughed “wait I though that jj was the the dumb one”you asked “there both delinquents but gotta love em.I’m brains of the operation anyways it’s my thang ”he sang causing you to laugh at the way he pinched his shirt and pingged it brushing dirt of his shoulders “you should come to the party tonight and meet them if you want?”he asked and you shook your head “i dont know pope,party’s and me aren’t really a good thing you know how my anxiety gets in groups”you said and he nodded “i know it’s fine don’t worry about it but offers there when you want you could even come out just us on the pouge if you wanted “he offered “they really wanna meet me?”you asked “well they wanna meet MY competition “he challenged “not really a competition there bud” you teased patting his shoulder “but I’ll think about it yeah?”you offered “sounds good and here we are” you turned facing each other then back at the school making your way inside.

“Hey i told jj I’d meet with him just before first  lesson give him his homework see you there”you gave him a confused look “they go here?”he laughed “yeah didn’t i tell you”you shook your head no “sorry see you in 10 nerd”he waved “in 10 geek”you repli,ex

Waiting for class to start,you set up outside your classroom and put your headphones back in continuing your book. The vibration of the bell and stampedes of teenagers scurry to their first lesson , you ended up waiting for pope who practically ran down the hall and laughed when your eyes met.

 You went in taking your seats next to each other this happened up until break. then lunch you’d go to all your lessons together hang out at break,being antisocial in the library, but at lunch he’s always go off,with the pogues you assume,now knowing they go to your school.At lunch you go outside and walk to the bleachers and sit reading basking in the sun.

After your  last lesson with pope you both headed home together dropping him off at heywards halfway.

“Mom I’m home”you shouted slamming the door dropping the keys on the sideboard .After no reply you expected her to be at work so you got started on your homework so you could”relax” on the weekend.

It was now 6:30,and pope texted you telling you the party started at seven and the offer was still up before you could reply,you heard your door slam shut and you ran downstairs hoping you could talk to your mum,and catch up.

You see her figure reach for a cupboard that hasn’t been opened in years  left. this was bad.

“Hey mama how was work”you asked with a shaky breath 

She glared swigging the bottle 

“You know what sweetie “she spat “Mama don’t have to go to work an more you wanna know why because i got fired from work apparently they couldn’t handle me anymore,took to many people on,so sweetie work was fucking awful OK”she shouted 

“Oh mum I'm sorry what are you going to do i mean i think the heyw--“

“Oh shut up you’re so pathetic you know,I mean you inside on a Friday night? should you be out like a normal teenager huh?god”she scoffed 

“What mom I-“by now half the bottle was empath,being drank with such desperation 

“I’ll get another  job I’ve already got the heywards they can give me more time and an I-I’ll  get a side job we’ll be fine w-we have dads money too”

“Sont talk about hijm!It’s your fault your father left you fucking incompetent piece of shit you make everyone want to leave,no wonder you have no friends. I mean look at you your pathetic  you know these people in your books there not real DAISY god why can’t you just be normal you drove everyone away.this is your fault”

Tears were now threatening your eyes,but as you looked into the person infront of you,you didnt see sadness,you saw anger,you saw red. 

“Mum Im sorry i-ill-“

Before you could say anything she downed the rest of the bottle and threw it at you.glass smashing everywhere cutting you up.your whole arm started to bleed as you cried out in pain your mum hit you,ran out and slammed the door shut.

she hit you.hit you.you ran upstairs not bothering to protect  your arm wrapping  it up in an old shirt.you needed your best friend,you didn't have many friends but he was yours you knew that nothing anyone said could change your friendship 

So you called him running out of your house in todays clothes covered in blood like you’d been in a fucking horror movie 

“Heyyy daisy you change your mind”he answered the phone 

“Hey pope I-I need some help my mom a-are you still at a-at the p-party”you stuttered 

“Woah woah breathe daisy where are you I’ll come get you okay”

“I’m near the boneyard you still there I-I’m sor-ry f-for calling i didn’t kn—“

He cut you off “no shut up it’s fine where are you,are you hurt what happened?”

“My arm s-she h-hit b-bottle “

“Fuck where are you daisy “

“Oh-oh my god there’s so many people here”you were sure you were having a panic attack by now,-you could barely breathe

“Wait daisy I-i see you I’m coming okay wait there”

“O-okay”

Hanging up the phone you were now just balling your eyes out in pain and hurt. You curled up into a ball only looking up when you  could hear pope shouting in the distance.

“Shit daisy”he shouted 

“I’m sorry I didn’t know where to go,my mum she she my arm I- I”

Pope wasn’t unfamiliar to your panic attacks,usually being  the one to calm you from them,/

“Daisy breath okay”he stroked your hair making you look into his eyes 

“What happened “he asked and you showed him your arm “shit daisy that’s close to a main artery your losing loads of blood C'mon let’s get you cleaned up back at the chateau “you just nodded following him his hand holding yours hiding you from the people as you walked past. Arriving at a group of people probably his friends,the pogues,. As your vision begins to go hazy you think that maybe your mum was right you are pathetic .He was out on a Friday night ,I looked like the whole damn school was here.he has his life maybe he didn’t want to be your friend maybe he didn’t want to just hurt you .realizing you were fading out he shook you “shit daisy no no no “he cursed“John b keys I need the keys”you heard him say and they were saying something about him getting some “dude shut up this is daisy she’s hurt “you heard him say and all of them looked at you,but you couldn’t bring your eyes too meet them.Soon enough pope was dragging you away and towards a shack,the chateau.

He dragged you inside and you were sitting on the Island In the kitchen/living room,this was a home.

where was your home now?.

“Here lemme see ''he pulled your arm and started to work. It didn’t surprise you he was so good at this he was always good at first aid but this?

Lucky it wasn't on a actual artery but the blood made it look worse,acknowledging the fact you'd been so quiet,he spoke up “hey D look at me “he said pointing your chin up,looking at you straight in your eyes”what happened,when your ready”he asked.As your breathing steadied,you began to speak “my mom,she got back from work sh-she just lost her job a-and”you stuttered,pausing to collect your breathe 

“hey it’s okay take your time okay”he calmed you”she hasn’t drank since..”you stopped and he looked in your eyes.Pope knew all about your dad,leaving you when you were about to go into junior year,you never knew why but one day he was their next he wasn’t,pope helped you through it,when you began to get closer.

“Your dad?”he answers for you 

You nodded

“She said that it-it was my fault that he left and that she lost her job an”you gulped,recomposing yourself“How I push everyone away and that’s why I have no friends I mean let’s face it”laughiing a breathy laugh “she’s right”popes head snapped up “Daisy!you have me,D its okay I’m you best friend and you know she’s wrong okay now this is going to hurt”he assured you,before you could ask questions your arm burned up from the straight alcohol he’d put on your arm “FUCK POPE SHIT WARNING PLEASE FUCK”you shouted and he laughed,frowning when he came too “Sorry,shit this is bad daisy,like really bad,I dont know what to do,I can just wrap it up But ii think you should go to the hospital“he said and before you could fight,a deep voice filled the room.

“What the fuck is going on pope”curse from the back of the room.After observing the heaps of bloody tissues and your T-shirt laying next to you“What the fuck happened to her man,who is this?”he asked pope who looked up at you,asking the silent of’should i tell him’ you shook your head with pleading eyes 

Pity took over popes vision as he answered JJ’s question“Jj this is  daisy,daisy jj”he introduced you and you sighed,finally meeting the blue eyed boy with watery vision“hey,sorry we,urm, woke,you”you stuttered “oh i wasn’t sleeping princess”he winked causing you to furror your eyebrows at the boy you heard stories about ,following up to the elephant int he room.”what happened”he asked,re-observing your surroundings,eyes finally meeting your bloody arm “holy shit you gotta fucking c-cat or something”he demanded .Before you could awnser,a half naked girl stumbled out of his room,pouting

“oh you really weren’t joking when you said you weren’t asleep”you giggle then pope accidentally pressed to hard into your arm making you scream “fuck pope Jesus fucking shit”you cursed 

“Fuck I’m sorry but its clean and the plasters won’t do much but I’ll wrap it up anyways i still think you might have to go to hospital”you shook your head “no no no no  I can’t pope you know that”he sighed “look nerd you know where she cut look how close that is daisy okay” pointing to your bandaged arm jjs eyebrows furrowed in confusion

You tore away from his gaze to the the floors 

“Hey jj,what's taking so long sweets”his guest said,in a thick country accent causing him too sigh turning around going back into his room.You don’t know what he said but five minuets later she was storming out the rusted doors,huffing and puffing, and left and he walked back to you two 

“Sorry”you looked at him and his eyes softened.You were gorgeous and so innocent who would do this to you?.he asked himself”don’t be she was to Whiny anyways you saved me”you smiled ,slightly rolling your eyes at the player you'd been warned from.

“Daisy”pope snapped you back to reality “hospital?”

“Pope I can’t I-I’ll just go home and-“you babbled

”no no way you're not going back there daisy okay not if your moms like she is right now”he said under his breath in attempt to be secretive

“Your mom?”jj thought out loud and you just looked at him,mentally cursing yourself 

Ignoring the blondes “you know i can’t do that pope”you mumbled looking down. 

“Why”he snapped

“Because I live there pope”you paused,forgetting the blonde”you know and it’s not like this is new, you know it’ll blow over”you urged,trying to convince yourself 

“And what if i doesn't daisy”he quizzed” what are you going to do then”he asked causing you to freeze and stand in silence. 

You walked up and hugged him,stifling a sob.Skilfully dodging your arm,you let go of him and held his stare. 

“Pope,your my best friend, okay?Well my only friend. You know that, but you gotta understand why I’ve gotta go home,Besides, she’s probably not even in,she left straight after, she’s probably out okay”you insisted”I’ve got that job with you and your dad tomorrow I’ll see you okay”you insisted

After some silence he looked at you,”I’ll drive you home okay and if she’s there your coming back to mine”he hissed”You can crash in the couch like you did last time okay “he urged”let me just go talk to jj okay”he said leaving you in the kitchen ,now only realizing the blonde had left the room.After overhearing some not-so hushed whispers,pope came out followed by a blonde who carried an angered but also slightly pained expression that left you wondering what pope said in there.Did he tell him about your mum?

After snatching the keys from the side,where you left them,he led you guys into the van.You and pope got into the back and he and just hugged you there it was nice he calms you and you calm him .“Hey pope”you break the silence“Yeah”he returned“Sorry”you apologised“Stop”he spat.

You looked up to him,eyebrows arching up in confusion“What?”you pleaded,provoking him to roll his eyes and your tendency to apologise after any slight inconvenience“Doing it”he grumbled“Doing what”you urged,oblivious to what was annoying him“You always apologise,after everything”he answered letting out a slightly breathy laugh“Sorry”you laugh realising you already subconsciously apologised.“See what I mean”he tutted“Right but thank you”you pushed“Always nerd”he promised“Geek”you sassed,falling into a comfortable silence,enjoying who you considered your family now

“Hey daisy” he broke the silence

“Hm”you humed

“Did you take them today”he asked,you sighed

“I thought I’d be okay pope,i was i promise”you pleaded

“Daisy”he sighed

“I hate them pope,they make me feel so deflated,they make me feel  like a monster”you mumbled into his shoulder

“You have to take them daisy you know that”he scolded

“I’m know i Just”you paused

“I know”he cut in 

“I don’t want to be a monster anymore pope”

“Your not a monster daisy,i promise,you're amazing bub”he praised

Finally pulling up to your house,met with a cleaver driveway you turned back to pope who was checking for the same thing you were “see”you deflated”i'll be fine see you in the morning,7 sharp kids” you teases in his dad's warning tone 

“Daisy i still think you should come back to mine  i don't think you’ll b--”

You pleaded his anxious babbling with a kiss on the cheek”see you in the morning”you demanded and he sighed

You popped your head through to the front

“Thank you for the ride jj sorry about interrupting your night” you apologised and he smiled at you”no worries princess,we oughta be seeing you in daylight too though”he asked “maybe blondie”you winked giving pope one last hug before you made your way through the door,treading carefully,just to be safe.

[simptasia]

neurodivergence in abc’s lost

i’m gonna be listing off and talking about the canon neurodivergent characters in lost. i won’t be adding characters that i personally headcanon as neurodivergent in some way, what i’m writing here is elaboration upon what has been given to me by the show. please note that none of these people’s conditions or disorders were named in the show, so such diagnoses being named here are me taking that extra step based upon their symptoms

first of all i wanna point out that based on what i’ve seen the show, that the island’s healing powers applies to conditions inflicted upon the mind, not ones inherent to the mind. thats why daniel’s brain damage heals, but people like hurley and locke will always continue to have depression

hugo “hurley” reyes

schizophrenia and depression

our most prominently featured mentally ill character. it might seem bold to label him with schizophrenia when it’s never said that that’s what he has. but during his time on lost, he displays many of the symptoms: paranoia, pathological self loathing, delusions and hallucinations. now, it’s a fictionalized depiction of schizophrenia and that’s probably not even what the writers had in mind but it’s none the less a really, really good and respectful portrayal of it

it would take too long to list off all the times when hurley displays paranoia (heck, it’s easy not to notice how much its a part of his character) and self loathing. delusions? the situations regarding the numbers and his bad luck (canon never ever Proves what hurley believes to be true regarding that stuff)

they did an episode dedicated to hurley having hallucinations. a man named dave who drives him to self destructive behaviour, self hatred and attempted suicide. fun fact: when people with schizophrenia in real life have hallucinations, they tend towards just auditory. hurley gets visual as well as per Rule Of Drama. this is not a bad thing, just a narrative tool

(steering slightly into headcanon for a bit here but i personally ignore the dharma made Hurley Bird they revealed in the epilogue and just take hurley hearing that bird say his name as an auditory hallucination. for two reasons: one, hurley hearing/seeing things that don’t exist is already consistent with his mental state. and two, that bird literally, genuinely did not fucking say hurley)

extra notes

to be clear, in case there's confusion, hurley really does have magical powers. he can talk to dead people. that isn’t a delusion or hallucination. you can understand how confusing and distressing this must be for hurley

he's had a compulsive eating disorder since he was ten due to the pain of his father abandoning him. his struggle with this is well documented

at several points during the show he’s shown to have trouble spelling. he especially confuses his “y(s)” and “ies”. it’s not clear if this is due to poor education or a learning issue. or both, really. it’s safe to assume with him being poor, mexican and mentally ill, that school wasn’t easy for hurley

hurley has unjustifiably lived at mental health institutions on at least two occasions (the first time was against his will, second was volunteer)

john locke

depression

locke suffers from severe self esteem issues, and i know most lost characters do, but i mean to the point of irrational and destructive behaviour. he has an obsession with being deemed special in order to justify his existence. he also suffers jarring mood swings. (he can switch from calm and jovial to angry and defensive at the drop of a hat). when he was wheelchair bound, this threw him into a depression. when he failed to convince anybody to come back to the island, he attempted suicide. he would have gone thru with it too. he will go to extremes to make sure things stay the way he wants them to (killing an innocent woman so they can stay on the island, tying up and drugging boone so he won’t tell anybody about the hatch), and will fall into despair if he fails

also note that the things im saying about locke are not a comment on people with depression. i don’t think all depressed people kill and drug people. those were statements on locke’s character that i believe are a part of his mental state. my point is: he’s emotionally unstable and he tried to kill himself. and i think his extreme need for validation (from people and the universe in general) is especially concerning

to me, this all says to me that locke has clinical depression

locke isn’t as easy as the other people on this list to classify as Canon Neurodivergent but at least to me, i think it’s very obvious. like i feel bad being so vague but like, basically, watch any locke episode

daniel faraday

acquired brain damage, severe memory degradation as well as other neurodivergent behaviours (i’ll go into it)

he’s played by jeremy davies. enough said

okay, jokes aside. at some point in the past daniel and his assistant theresa were involved in some vaguely referred to time based experiments. while she was catatonicized, the accident left daniel severely brain damaged (also daniel spent years doing radioactive experiments without head protection, which would not have helped and indeed that is foreshadowing of this whole debacle)

apparently this left him in a state where he can no longer take care of himself, having been assigned a carer. his most outstanding symptom is that his ability to process short AND long term memory has been impaired

short term: he’s shown to have issues retaining memories from day to day. he wasn’t sure if he had met charles widmore already (he hadn’t). charles lays some exposition on him and when daniel asks why he’s telling him this, charles says, with sureness, that “because by tomorrow you won’t remember this”. counting on that to be an absolute fact seems silly to me but that does seem to the case. again, Rule Of Drama is in play here

long term: he can no longer access memories he formed many years ago, famously the memories he formed with desmond in 1996. all in all, this condition is highly plot convenient. can’t argue with results, really

no, i can keep going, i got more, this is daniel fucking faraday we’re talking about: his ability to remember 3 playing cards has been impaired (note that this is a skill most 4 year olds master), he forgot the secret code the science team were all taught and when he introduces himself to jack there is a long pause, in hindsight implying that daniel forgot his own name

like real life memory conditions, theres varying level to how much he does and doesn’t remember. he’s thankfully not in a 50 first dates situation and doesn’t forget everything day to day. clearly he remembers people if they’re around enough, like during his time on the boat. charlotte, miles, frank, naomi...

upon landing on the island, his memory slowly gets better (considering his condition beforehand, the fact that nobody comments on this is staggering)

when dan is fully healed? i could not say, i could theorize, but such things are nebulous. but still, the times we see dan without his brain damage, he still behaves like a neurodivergent person. just not like he was when he was brain damaged. he stims near constantly, has a tendency to repeat names and words (echolalia) and it’s shown that dan compulsively counts in his head. he counted up to 864 beats, if i remember correctly, which is about 10 minutes of counting in his head. by no stretch of the imagination is that neurotypical behaviour

(im not trying to sound defensive. and i don’t think anybody, anywhere, is arguing that daniel faraday is a neurotypical. unfathomable)

going into headcanon territory again, his ND traits, when not brain damaged, say to me that he’s autistic and/or has OCD and possibly anxiety. thats all theorizing on my part tho. but the fact of the matter is, damage or no, he’s neurodivergent

notes

his apparent need for tactile sensory input is legendary in the lost fandom. in layman’s terms: him pet pet. not just people but objects too. humans, overall, tend to touch things to process input better. many ND people do it more, and it seems daniel is a case of that (i am not making a solid statement on jeremy davies’ neuro state. that’s his business)

he shows an inability to properly process grief

he also shows shocking indifference to his own safety, resulting in reckless behaviour. how much of this is a result of his mental state or his upbringing is up for debate. i think it’s a combo of both

without his brain damage, he appears to have an eidetic memory

danielle rousseau

trauma induced mental illness

pretty self explanatory. the loss of her expedition, husband and daughter, as well as 16 years of loneliness (on THIS island) has resulted in emotional instability for danielle. she’s prone to paranoia, trust issues, irrational behaviour

she’s just not well. she’s right most of the time but she’s not well

libby smith

indeterminate mental state 

libby was institutionalized (the same place hurley was sent to) and placed on medication (which seemed like sedatives to me, based on her expressions). in the show it’s not what clear what put her there, but having just done some research, i’ve discovered that Word Of God says that libby became mentally unstable after the death of her husband dave smith. so this is probably another case of trauma induced mental illness. she must have had a pretty extreme episode to cause her to be sent to a place like that. something to think about

but alas, it’s libby, so not much info. moving on

benjamin linus

anti social behaviour disorder (is my best guess)

oof. depictions of mental illness with characters who are immoral are depictions of mental illness nonetheless. i feel almost silly saying this but: ben is not... okay

ben displays issues (at best) with empathy, compassion and morality. how much he cares about other people is highly debatable but one thing that's certain is that he does genuinely love his daughter. everybody else is ????

but the loving alex thing rules out him being a sociopath or having narcissistic personality disorder. and it is genuine because when he loses it with grief, it’s not a performance, because the only audience is us...

he’s a compulsive liar, lying even when it doesn’t benefit him. lying just because. ben is highly unpredictable, which isn’t inherently a neurodivergent thing, but when a person goes from a calm discussion to strangling somebody, all roads point to Uh Oh (i don’t know the technical terms for Uh Oh). many of his outward emotions are performed (the difference between his fake smiles and few real smiles is noticeable). he’s manipulative, he treats people like objects for his benefit/plans, he’s self absorbed, he has zero issues with murder unless it’s a child. he does have some moral standards. but overall, uh, [just gestures at ben]

also ben is repeatedly offended when other people don’t trust him, which is HILARIOUS, but also shows a cognitive dissonance on his part

hmm i need more here, im gonna break out the big guns

that’s some basic info there and doesn’t that line up with ben?

the article goes on to say that people with this can put on superficial charm. that is, behave friendly and “normal” when they have to. which ben is shown to be able to do

and this

“Serious problems with interpersonal relationships are often seen in those with the disorder. Attachments and emotional bonds are weak, and interpersonal relationships often revolve around the manipulation, exploitation, and abuse of others.”

reminds me of his situation with juliet. and locke. and his “friendships” in general

i snipped the wikipedia article for this because unlike the rest i felt,,, underequipped to talk about this sort of thing

ben being mentally unwell is clear enough in canon and i think this disorder is what lines up best with it. please note that ben is capable of change and growth (like people in real life who have such issues) and like the show i’m not gonna paint him 100% evil or irredeemable. i’m just saying what’s true

notes

ben says at one point that he doesn’t dream anymore. it’s highly probably that this is a lie, but if it isn’t, well that's not good. it’d mean his brain isn’t entering into REM sleep properly, which can lead to emotional problems

ben doesn’t blink as much as most people do, something michael emerson did on purpose. this can apply to some neurodivergent people

it’s shown that he was quite nonverbal as a kid. in the flashbacks in “man behind the curtain” little ben barely speaks

honourable mentions

pretty much all the survivors suffer from PTSD due the trauma of the crash

a great deal of the characters suffer from PTSD from trauma in general due to their awful lifes. like, abusive parents, war, loss of loved ones, etc

and i must note that ben, daniel and locke suffering from parental abuse, ranging from emotional to physical, is something to factor into their cases

claire, similar to danielle, also suffered trauma induced mental illness due to the loss of her baby and feeling like she was abandoned

sayid is depicted as dead inside during season 6 due to The Sickness, so thats like a magical form of depression. and one could argue that he already had regular depression beforehand

boone joked about shannon having bulimia. (whether or not it’s true, boone is an asshole) if it’s true, shannon has an eating disorder, which is considered a form of mental illness. espech one so self image based

self harm

self harm is not an inherent part of mental illness but such concepts are often linked so i felt i should mention some of these, it’ll be quick

hurley’s aforementioned eating disorder

charlie takes heroin as a form of self harm (that isn’t a theory on my part, it’s clear as day that charlie started taking it because his sense of self worth was so low that the drugs felt like the only option)

locke, hurley, (both as mentioned above), jack, desmond, michael and richard have all attempted/nearly commited suicide

so what can we conclude from this? well that's up to you, really. that i love lost a fuck ton? that the actors and writing in lost is amazing? that all the neurodivergent based depth got saved for the boys? yeah

but i wanna conclude with this: a part of what makes lost really special to me is that these people i’ve talked out here? they’ve suffered, and oh boy it was tasty suffering, but all of them, yes even libby, were more than suffering

these people have nuance. one way or another, these people (to varying degrees) were happy at times. silly. funny. angry. opinionated. they loved. they were loved. they lived and breathed as human beings. that means a lot to me

lost is a story of broken people given a second chance. take that as you will

thank you for your time

[fanficsrusz]

My collection - part two John wick AU

A/n: so ive already wrote part 2 because ive been brain storming ideas all day at work and i just had to get some of them down. So this was the out come.

Masterlist

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A week had passed and y/n had found herself in front of her new college. This is where her life would begin and y/n felt a knot form in her stomach from nervousness and excitement. “So what do you think?” y/n turned to where the voice had come from and saw Tom. y/n smiled “it looks huge” she laughed and Tom wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “Don't worry about it you will get used to it. Come on you need to get to your first class” Tom lead her around the college showing her the various points of interest before he stopped outside a lecture room. “So this is where i leave you. But I will see you at lunch and I will introduce you to a few on my friends” Tom leaned against the wall. “Thanks again tom. I don't have many friends yet” y/n laughed looking down. “Don't worry. You will have no trouble making friends here” he said before someone had called his name “ ok i have to go. See you later” he said “bye” y/n muttered as she watched him walk towards a group of guys who were all staring and watched as they all clapped and laughed as he got closer. y/n heard Tom say a quick shut up before they moved out of view. y/n giggled before pushing open the door to the lecture room which was still filling up with students.

She placed herself a few rows back from the front and pulled out various books and pens ready for the class to begin. “Good morning everyone.” y/n looked up and a small amount of panic set in as she saw John stood in front of the class in a suit, his hair slicked back:a complete 180 of the john y/n had met just a week earlier. She sat up straighter in her chair. “It's nice to see you all after such a nice break a…” John paused as he made eye contact with y/n and smiled. “I also see we have a new face in the class.” and just like that all eyes were on y/n. y/n wanted to jump out of the nearest window out of pure embarrassment but decided to give a small smile instead which john returned. “Ok moving on please open your books to page 70. We have a lot to cover this year people.” john said keeping intense eye contact with the new girl in his class.

y/n tried to focus as much as she could on the lesson but every now and then her mind would slip back to her teacher/ neighbour and why he gave her such a weird vibe.  She just couldn’t pinpoint why she felt this way about this man. He had done nothing wrong to threaten her in anyway shape or form. In Fact so far he had been a model neighbour. So why was she scared to be around him?.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the bell and everyone stood up rushing to go to lunch. y/n tried to put her stuff away as fast as she could.

It was as if john had super powers because he was suddenly next to her. “y/n. What are the odds that you’re in my class” john gave a smile and y/n gave the best attempt at a smile she could. “Small world John” she replied “dr wick” he said sternly, the smile dropping from his mouth instantly and was replaced with a look that could kill. y/n was shocked at the harshness of his words and john must have understood the confusion on her face because the smile quickly came back as if someone had switched a flip in him. “please call me dr Wick whilst you are in class. You don’t want people getting the wrong idea”. That sentence made y/n shudder out of disgust. Any other girl would have swooned and it would of had the same effect on her any other time but for some reason it didn't. Dr wick was a good looking man but there was that feeling again. The feeling that there was something off with this man. “Well i must be going. Im meeting friends for lunch” she hastily pushed past him running out of the class before anything else could be said to make y/n feel any more weirded out. It was at that moment she knew she was going to be seeing a lot more of john and she dreaded it.

John looked down at the table y/n had been sitting at and smirked when he saw she had left her planner on the desk. It was as if some unseen force was pushing john towards the young girl. He slipped into the seat and closed his eyes; the seat was still warm and he could smell her sweet perfume. John looked down and opened the planner and flipped through it all. There was nothing of any interest, a few notes for her homework and some to do lists. He skimmed over the words 'pick up veg' 'tidy pantry' ect. But two sentences took his interest 'gym meeting at 2pm sat' and ‘ parents visiting sunday’. He now knew where she would be this weekend and made a mental note of it. He finished flipping through the book until he got to the back and the smile that had previously been on his face had now changed to anger. He picked up a note. Reading the words slowly he felt the anger grow in his chest. John screw up The note tom had given y/n with his number on and shoved it in his pocket.  John knew tom and he would make sure he was going to stay away from her. He picked up the book and moved over to his desk and put it into his bag. Sighing he closed his eyes and pictured y/n.

Never before had john been so quickly drawn to a girl before. Was it her y/h/c hair? Or y/e/c eyes? John didn’t know. But he wanted her and that's all he did know.

Y/n walked into the canteen and saw Tom sitting at a table with a few other people. As she got closer Tom looked up and saw her, a smile grew on his face. "hi" y/n said and tom stood up "hi. Everyone this is y/n. She’s living in my grandads old house. Y/n this is sarah, jack and leon." they each looked at the new girl and greeted her, beginning a conversation and talking with her as if they had been friends for years. They made y/n feel at home and soon the encounter with john was pushed to the back of her mind. If only the same could be said for john.

Dr. Wick walked into the canteen and scanned for his new favourite student. He saw her sitting with tom and the way the two students looked at each other sent a deep hatred through his body.

John stormed over to the table. Y/n looked up and  her face went pale. "y/n? What's wrong?" tom asked. " Tom" john seethed  "what did i say to you about your work? It's terrible i want you to redo it again but this time i want you to do 50 pages. On my desk tomorrow. You also have 2 weeks detention for making me read such a terrible piece of work" john stormed off and the whole canteen was staring at the boy. "what was that about?" leon said breaking the silence. Tom shook his head "I don't know. I handed in my assignment a few days ago and he said it was perfect. He never acts like that. He’s always the nice teacher. I'm sorry I have to go. I won't be able to re-do the work in time if I don't start now. I’ll text you later y/n" tom quickly stood up and rushed out of the canteen. Leaving everyone to their lunch.

The school day had finished and y/n climbed into her car just as the rain started to pour. As she turned the key the car didn't start . "ohh come on" she groaned resting her head on the wheel as she tried several more times and nothing. She jumped out the car and started the long walk home, deciding on calling someone to fix it tomorrow . As she walked out the car park, a car pulled up beside her. It was a beat up old mustang and as the window rolled down she inwardly cried. John leaned out the window.

"miss y/l/n. Where's your car?" John asked with a weird tone in his voice. "it broke down. I'll call someone to fix it tomorrow" she said quickly as she pulled her jacket closer to shield herself from the rain. "I can give you a ride home. I mean you do live across the street" john laughed but y/n didn't. "um i'm fine really i ca…." john interrupted her "nonsense i am not letting you walk in this rain" y/n looked up “it's not really that bad I can walk “ and as if on cue the rain got heavier and thunderstruck. 'why do you hate me God' y/n thought. "sure. Fine" she said throwing her hands in the air and she walked to the other side of the car and climbed in.

As she got in the car she tried to sit back as far as she could in the car in an attempt to disappear but obviously luck was not on her side. "so what do you think of the college so far?" John asked as he began the drive back to their street. y/n looked out the window and replied “yhh i really like it actually. Everyone is so nice. '' John looked at her “good”

The rest of the car ride home was quiet only filled with the sound of raindrops hitting against the metal contraption that the pair sat in and soon enough john had pulled into his driveway.

“And we’re here” john smiled gently hitting his hands on the wheel.”thanks again John. I really appreciate it. I have to go. I've got a lot of work to do still” y/n climbed out the car and practically ran to her door. John stood in the driveway and watched as the girl entered her house. Even when she was out of view John still stood there watching in the pouring rain.

Eventually he made his way into his house, changed into comfy clothes and made a beeline to his chair where he continued to watch y/n. If only she knew that nets may work if it's light outside, but when it's dark out and the lights are on inside, it gives the world a perfect view.  This had becomes Johns new favourite pastime. Watching the pretty girl across the street. John could see y/n walking up the stairs and go into her room where she began the routine of undressing and walking into the bathroom to shower. Its was John's favourite show really and knowing no one knew what he saw made him buzz with excitement.  John had y/n routine memorised already. Come home, shower, tidy up, watch tv, eat and read. However this night the routine changed when there was a figure at her door. John stood up suddenly and watched as he saw y/n answer the door and suddenly smile. ‘Who was this? Why were they there? How dare they interrupt our time together!’ hundreds of questions and thoughts went through his head as he watched the two interact. As the mysterious figure came into the light, John felt the anger boil inside his chest once again and grabbed a glass from the table and threw it across the room smashing it against the wall.

The doorbell rang and y/n was confused. She never had visitors at this time or anytime honestly. She made her way to the door and opened it revealing a very wet Tom. “hi” he smiled “hi” she replied. “What are you doing her? Come in quickly before you catch pneumonia” she laughed dragging him in and taking his jacket to hang in the hall, the rain falling of it and creating a small puddle. The two walked into the living room and sat down. “Well, sometimes when it rains heavily the garden floods and i just wanted to check it was alright” tom scratched his neck and looked down. y/n laughed “ you're a terrible liar you know that right. What do you really want “ john looked down before looking her in the eyes again. “Well i wanted to actually ask you out. On a date. With me.” y/n smiled and walked forward placing a soft kiss on his cheek “i would love to. How about we watch a movie here? I have popcorn” tom nodded and the two began to make the preparations needed for the movie night to proceed. Soon enough the two were cuddled next to eachother as the film played, unbenounced to them that john was watching their every movement and planning to make things right once again.

Soon the pair were fast asleep, wrapped in a blanket to keep the cold air out and John saw his chance.

He slowly made his way over to the house and round the back to the patio doors where there was a clearer view of the couple on the sofa. The sight made john feel sick. She was his and his only. He grasped the handle with his gloved hand and it slid open. John walked in quietly making sure to close the door behind him. He looked around, the place just screamed y/n and he like it. All the little things she had collected throughout her life and all the pictures which held so many memories. John looked around carefully taking in every detail he could. He soon stopped when he heard a soft moan come from the pair. y/n moved in her sleep to get comfy again but didn’t wake up. John walked over to them quietly and looked over her sleeping form, bringing one of his fingers down to ghost over her body. Her hair was a mess over the pillow but somehow she still managed to look like one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen. John could have stayed there looking at her forever but his mind was brought back to reality  when his eyes scanned down to her waist. Tom’s hand hugged her waist as they slept and john's mission had become clear again. Pulling out a chloroform soaked cloth he held it over tom's face. There was no struggle as toms slumber was took even deeper and john was free to continue. John slowly and carefully picked tom up as if he weighed nothing and hoisted him over his shoulder making sure not to wake y/n up. slowly john mad his way back to the patio doors where he had come in and just like that john had disappeared into the darkness, taking y/ns chance at love with him. There was no trace that john was even there.

The morning sun beamed through the open curtains and the quiet morning was interrupted by the sound of y/n alarm, signalling her that it was time to wake up for college. Stretching, y/n sat up rubbing the sleep from her eyes. As the memories of last night flooded back to her causing her to smile like a child in a candy shop. She looked around the room and was confused as to why she was alone. "tom?" she called out and was met with silence. She stood up and looked around the house but he was nowhere to be found. A little bit of sadness crept into her chest as she put two and two together. Y/n was not dumb. She knew when she wasn't wanted and it wasn't the first time she had been left. " see this is why I don't bother having a love life. They Are never interested" she said angrily to herself and stormed upstairs to get dressed. From today she was going to focus on her work and nothing was going to stop her.

Tbc

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@homesoutofhuman

[itarz4n]

[ text to dria 👠]

john: Hello, my name is John Bruce. Is this Adrianna Tokko?

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

Madonna knew about my work in Harlem and how i got the children off the street by pounding nails and giving them food.

She wanted a song for everyone in the world but to dedicate it to the most hard-working Construction man or woman out there on my team

I said "they're all hard working... Tho but i say Jess-- because i don't pronounce the T and they all look at me but i also say it in different ways because of my accent always changing depending who I've been talking to most I always pick up on it so its sometimes with a y sound or an I or an e or even the U. So what do you think about that?"

"Oh yeah that would work the Jessies. Now how do you wanna spell it. But i just wanted to do it with one So how about i drop the last s? Oh that will work, see look Jessie and no s"

Jessies to Jessie when its usually Jesse.

"Because the song is about one individual and we are all about individuality the last thing i want to do is sing about a group and jam them altogether. They're not plums, they're people. Yeah?"

"Yes!!!"

"But they're too hard working for what they get"

"But they get them a house"

"What they do?! None of them said that!"

"Its a surprise we keep track of their hours. 1,000 hours is a free house for their families. But i made a mistake in the beginning i had 3 kids and they worked 2,000 hours well almost 2225 actually and so i gave them two houses. But look the houses were really small and the kids were gonna have to share a bedroom, the two girls and they worked hardest so we just tore down a wall and gave them furniture -- for the girls because they did 1757.5 and then the boy and dad we just got them new beds and they kept the two kitchens. That was fun. One was old and not remodeled and the other was brand new, thats the way they wanted it said the girls so they could see how much work they had accomplished. Single dad. Raising 3 kids in the Bronx"

"Oh well that's not a mistake thats a blessing. And oh my those are Jessies i am going to think of them. Two girls i will say they're twins so in my mind one pregnancy and one child. Okay good. Don't tell me any different but when im done i want to meet what is real behind my inspiration!"

"Done deal!"

Madonna she made me cry a lot she is just so beautiful.

We did Harlem the most but we hit the Bronx, lower Manhattan, Brooklyn, Staten Island, even Central Park, Times Square. We went everywhere.

John Gray's mom worked in Manhattan as a nurse but they lived in Harlem. They both worked to earn a house after his mom got onto me about slave labor and we moved her into a brand new apartment complex in Lower Manhattan i had just bought halfway finished and used the same construction crew to complete. That was closer to the hospital and had better schools. Eventually they saved enough money and were able to fulfill their dreams to move back South.

1000 hours bought a house.

The kids that knew nothing or were clumsy had nails pounded in partially and they just had to finish pounding them in. Help carry and move things. We had older people and professionals that we didn't pay.

Grab and go breakfast like pastry or bagels, lunch of a sandwich and chips and dinner of the same. Water always and soda on the weekends. Juice at breakfast. If it lasted it did. No one left without a bag lunch even if they had just ate. We paid people to make food in an apartment. We called it "catered" Usually the real old ladies they worked in an assembly line. We paid them $5 per day plus they earned their full hours. But they needed pain meds just to keep up with the demand so we gave them the extra cash.

The lawyer Steve would shop and make sure all the names and hours and dates were recorded proper.

Some kids just went and ate. Steve would tell them they were thevies and had to work a half hour to not go to jail. And they would. He told them to buy the food they owed 6 hours per "plate" so they never bought it they just paid their time to stay out of jail because he was their lawyer and i was the judge. The cop was their guilt.

So we had a pretty sweet set up to get kids to buy houses through work.

We always printed a certificate on dot matrix printer and framed it and had them hang it in the houses near the door so they were always reminded who bought it and that good work is an honest living and its how you earn a good life.

We always know that 1000 hours will never buy a house and will barely pay the bills.

Yet it was Harlem and people were so poor and Ms Chen really got to me about that voting shit. How blacks couldn't vote till the 1965 law and how in the beginning of time no one could vote till they were a land owner.

So I said let's beat the government and haters and hypocrites!

Give not only the poorest but poorest blacks and let them know they can now vote!!! That's how we ended up on Harlem. Also I had seen the Harlem Globetrotters on TV and I thought a lot of people in Harlem were in wheelchairs -- Hey i may be reincarnated but I was only 5 and hadn't been to NYC to live since slavery was intact and even then it was a fee short years! i was from Detroit in my last life! And NYC was big!! I didn't know if they had a special section or what. My uncle dad laughed at me and took me to Harlem so we could see.

"Nope i don't see any wheelchairs. Will it still work for you?"

"Yeah let me talk to the people and we will see"

I talked to about 50 kids from the street and playground and about 10 adults. All the kids said they worried about money and their parents and the adults said things were okay but one who said it was rough but they were making it.

"Thanks for waiting these 3 hours. Well this is the place! Now excuse me for I must cry for all these kids"

This is why kids (and adults that touched my heart) got houses for only 1000 hours

Stingy Steve I called him... I wanted 100 hours but he said 1000 is more reasonable. He said 100,000 hours is more respectable and accurate but they were kids so 1000 hours was very respectable.

But because the children worried about money and places to live and about their parents.

We bought apartment complex after apartment complex. Renovated on kids labor and paid the children houses.

No one waa too young we had a one year old work with her parents. Usually I just babysat him when they both worked but usually they carried him ina sling... But if she had been sick or it was hot and sunny or they were carrying something they had been working on in, I got the baby.

I got some toddlers, too. They learned to drive nails like no one's business. Twin girls driving their momma nuts "can I just drop them here for a few? Its hot"

I got a panel of nail driving practice so I had them hammer it in Then look the other side to see they got it in Then hammer it out the other way.

The panel always had nails where the nails went in real work. So that in practice they got real location practice. They could see how if they nailed a nail or did a screw crooked how it would affect the work badly. The back side had the frame the panel went onto so they could see if it was a hit or miss.

Usually it was the sheet rock practice. But they had to practice screws also but we began with nails. Before the drill. Some kids had stole our drills so drills were practiced inside. But the dedicated kids got our drills back they knew who stole them.

So that day we had a graduation of Drill work and i got the practice panel back and i had me some toddlers.

Their mom was a lifter because she wasn't good on nails. She saw her babies missing from the shade so she came to look for us because sometimes i took them to the park but i always told her or left a note on my chair. And so she went to check and she saw me and they were behind the panel somewhat having lost interest and were pulling at the nails and feeling them and the board while my back rested

So momma learned to drive nails better because she could screw to assemble because Jesse would start the screws on counterwork and she would finish. So her and her babies learned alot that week.

We liked the kids to hang sheetrock because that was the building of a house. Then they would install plumbing and all that stuff. If we didn't have adults we had the kids build cabinetry. Or often had them build it together.

But we had professional craftsmen (construction workers and plumbers and electricians) teach the kids all the ins and outs of their new house so if any thing went wrong they could fix it.

So they did all the wiring and plumbing.

Id see kids walk out "i just installed a toilet!" I would see faces of disgust and amazement and pride and sometimes all at the same time. I would always applaud that, "you've installed your throne!"

That was the only thing they had to tell me about. Although i liked to hear about the sink. The toilet I had to hear about for my own amusement.

And because we would explain to them the history of toilets and so they would learn all about out houses before earning their toilets.

That is how they earned their materials. History and usually they had a small test. If they couldn't pass twice they had to come to me. Usually they were untrusting or shy so they would test in front of me and then I would say "i know you know that answer because when he read it to you your eyes lit up so what is in the back of your head behind your ear? That's the truth to the answer"

We had a lot of special education students. But they always earned their materials. Even if we took to dusk to help them learn it. There was a small handful I had to help especially because they had too much doubt or fear they were smart or educated. So I did a small class outside and did all their history tests with them. So then when it got to that material they then we're just read it again or talked about it or were asked what they remember most or their favorite information.

Eventually I had to go to the schools to talk to their teachers as to why they were in special ed. I wouldn't say their names but would say "a kid that says your he's teacher...."

Because one kid had memorized 3 pages of history word for word and had been in special ed for 3 years.

I got his mom to go with me on her off day after she saw and the kid "read" what he saw in his mind while the teacher read off the paper.

"Well he missed a few words he said "thee" not "thuh""

"Well that's an accent not a reading defect. He learned it from me allot. I'm English from England not from New York"

"Well we will have to take speech then"

"You can't. Its an accent. It's a way of speech. A dialect not a defect. Would you put Yosemite Sam in speech therapy?"

"Well you're stup--"

"Okay well I might be stupid or stup-eh-eh with your throat drowning out the sound of what you're going to say but you're not getting this kid out of special ed, not with your attitude"

"You're right. I'M NOT. I'M GETTING HIM OUT BECAUSE HE'S SMART AND MAYBE EVEN SMARTER THAN ALL OF US SITTING IN THIS ROOM RIGHT NOW. He could be the next Einstein and for what?!? Because he's black? Because he's Latino? I'm taking this to the school board. You're full of shit. Come on"

"No wait".

She took him out that very day. He went to Harvard and is now a Law Professor at Yale.

Y'all can do anything.

She got fired. Because I went to the principal who actually did complain as well and i went to the superintendent who knew nothing.

So i invited the school board to the streets of the Bronx. (Its where i started -- i was still trying to buy homes in Harlem) invited them to my table and had a list of kids that said they were in special education and had the superintendent and other school board members test them right Then and there.

She wasn't a bad person... She just wanted extra money for the school. But she was fucking with little kids heads and that wasn't right. That next school year special ed was less than half and they were the best testing school in the district.

Now i could say the same for Harlem but they tested out of NYC. They were in the Top 3 in the state.

I have an expert to update you on the rest of the success stories we have because we took the time to care and encourage as i hope you are all doing in homeschooling during Quarentine.

[r0rorowurboat]

All of them!

200: My crush’s name is: n/a lmao199: I was born in: naples, fl198: I am really: gay?? idk197: My cellphone company is: t mobile196: My eye color is: green/blue/gray/idk man195: My shoe size is: 7 1/2 8 sometimes194: My ring size is: um i think that was 7 too but i dont remember193: My height is: 5′4″192: I am allergic to:pineapples and penicillin191: My 1st car was: a v old red saturn190: My 1st job was: a waitress189: Last book you read: um i think it was uhhhhhh shit uhhhh god fuck it was the warrior cats book but!!! it was bc i was stuck at my sister house with nothing but bibles or that series to read188: My bed is: an air mattress atm187: My pet: is perfect and i love her her name is luna and shes a little black cat who loves cuddles and kisses186: My best friend:is wonderful and i love him185: My favorite shampoo is: uhm. error i hardly ever use shampoo bc i have v dry curly hair and it makes it horrible184: Xbox or ps3: pc boi183: Piggy banks are: cure182: In my pockets: they dont make pockets in womens fashion wtf are you on. but uh. usually my phone, wallet, and keys181: On my calendar: i.. dont.. have one. 180: Marriage is: alright i guess. tax benefits179: Spongebob can: do that annoying laugh 178: My mom: tries v hard177: The last three songs I bought were? *squints* i think... it was keshas new album?176: Last YouTube video watched: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQuR8LVKhUE175: How many cousins do you have? 2174: Do you have any siblings? yes i have 3 older sisters173: Are your parents divorced? yeup172: Are you taller than your mom? nope171: Do you play an instrument? not anymore but i used to play clarinet170: What did you do yesterday? uhm spent the day at home as usual[ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: nah man168: Luck: to an extent i guess?167: Fate: i dont think so. 166: Yourself: sometimes165: Aliens: yes164: Heaven: nah163: Hell: nah162: God: nah161: Horoscopes: yes160: Soul mates: nah159: Ghosts: hmmm probably158: Gay Marriage: yes!157: War: no156: Orbs: orbs?? what are those?? like in ghost hunter shows? bc if so then no155: Magic: hm. what type? i think theres stuff we dont know about but idk if id call it magic. I think certain things have more power than we give credit. idk its hard to explain.[ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs153: Drunk or High: drunk152: Phone or Online: online151: Red heads or Black haired: redheadsredheadsredheads150: Blondes or Brunettes: hmmmm blondes i guess?149: Hot or cold: cold148: Summer or winter: winter147: Autumn or Spring: autumn146: Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate145: Night or Day: night144: Oranges or Apples: hmmm oranges143: Curly or Straight hair: curly 142: McDonalds or Burger King: mcdonalds141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: milk chocolate140: Mac or PC: pc139: Flip flops or high heals: usually sneakers tbh but uhhh i own more heels then flip flops138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: hm i mean i guess sweet and poor? im already poor so137: Coke or Pepsi: i dont drink soda, water. or coffee136: Hillary or Obama: obama135: Burried or cremated: cremated134: Singing or Dancing: singing133: Coach or Chanel: um. walmart? 132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who or who?131: Small town or Big city: hm idk. probably city? 130: Wal-Mart or Target: target129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: neither pls128: Manicure or Pedicure: hmmm manicure probs.127: East Coast or West Coast: i live on the east coast but idk west coast is home to a lot of friends so hmmmm126: Your Birthday or Christmas: its like a week apart there isnt much difference125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate124: Disney or Six Flags: disney123: Yankees or Red Sox: i dont sports[ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: icky121: George Bush: memes?120: Gay Marriage: im gay119: The presidential election: my vote didnt matter!118: Abortion: its your body your choice117: MySpace: never had one116: Reality TV: i mean, its fake? entertaining tho115: Parents: eh. 114: Back stabbers: icky113: Ebay: cheap stuff112: Facebook: only for family tbh111: Work: pays the bills110: My Neighbors: dont know them109: Gas Prices: expensive108: Designer Clothes: overpriced107: College: wish i could afford it!106: Sports: nah105: My family: haha104: The future: haha[ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: my grandma a few days ago102: Last time you ate: pizza a few hours ago101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: moving day seeing my extended family again100: Cried in front of someone: the other night with my mom or uhhh in call with kina today actually99: Went to a movie theater: wow uh pretty long time ago i dont actually remember98: Took a vacation: haha idk man97: Swam in a pool: wow uh idk96: Changed a diaper: hm last time i was with the twins. not sure how long its been. maybe 2 or 3 months?95: Got my nails done: when did my sister get married? years ago idk94: Went to a wedding: ^^93: Broke a bone: never have92: Got a peircing: about a year ago91: Broke the law: heh uh 90: Texted: a few hours ago[ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: probably kina or riley rn88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my mom tbh. the kids. wyatt. 87: The last movie I saw: the orphan86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: hm idk getting a job i guess85: The thing im not looking forward to: getting a job lmao84: People call me: by my name. but i have nicknames now!! Ray, rachi, babe, ray baby... its very nice and makes me feel warm and fuzzy and loved83: The most difficult thing to do is: hmmm clean? be honest about things that are bothering me? idk82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: never81: My zodiac sign is: capricorn sun aquarius moon80: The first person i talked to today was: the gc i think?79: First time you had a crush: i was v young and they had freckles and red hair and i died78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: um i try not to hide things in general! but someone who will call me out recently is raiken and archie lmao77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: riley lmao tho i beat her to it 

76: Right now I am talking to: riley75: What are you going to do when you grow up: i am grown up technically. uh. hopefully be an animator74: I have/will get a job: as a cashier probably73: Tomorrow: i have a job interview and then im gonna get coffee72: Today: was a long day71: Next Summer: hmmm idk70: Next Weekend: IDK GOD69: I have these pets: a cat!! who i love!!! and already gushed about but shes laying on my lap and purring rn and its so soothing68: The worst sound in the world: scratching against those uhhhh holographic things???? god i hate it67: The person that makes me cry the most is: hmnn my dad haha66: People that make you happy: my friends!!! Kina, Ali, Archie, Riley, Leo, Raiken, Mimi...... all of them good pals the squad my faves i love them65: Last time I cried: today rip64: My friends are: GOOD AND AMAZING I LOVE THEM63: My computer is: big! and i like it62: My School: none61: My Car: ded from the hurricane rip me60: I lose all respect for people who: are shitty? idk. 59: The movie I cried at was: hmmmm idk movies dont usually make me cry58: Your hair color is: uhm it was really dark blue but as the color has faded it kind of looks black/brown now57: TV shows you watch: a lot of them56: Favorite web site: uh i guess tumblr55: Your dream vacation: not being here!! probably just going around visiting everyone and hanging out having a good time54: The worst pain I was ever in was: tearing a ligament in my knee it hurt a lot53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium 52: My room is: messy51: My favorite celebrity is: ummm idk50: Where would you like to be: home tbh49: Do you want children: idk48: Ever been in love: ye47: Who’s your best friend: hhhhhhhhhhhh raiken46: More guy friends or girl friends: girls and nb babes45: One thing that makes you feel great is: just hanging out with people tbh44: One person that you wish you could see right now: i guess that would be my mom haha43: Do you have a 5 year plan: i did once. idk what happened to it haha i guess things never really go according to plan and it just hurts more to make one. just set goals, not plans.42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: i did once but i dont think i have the same values as i did when i made that41: Have you pre-named your children: i used to but idk if i want kids anymore40: Last person I got mad at: ummmm hmm 39: I would like to move to: hmm somewhere with 4 seasons not just summer and less hot summer38: I wish I was a professional: artist[ My Favorites ]37: Candy: kit-kats36: Vehicle: um idk small ones i guess35: President: obama? idk34: State visited: ooohhh michigan33: Cellphone provider: ive only ever had the one so idk32: Athlete: uh31: Actor: uh30: Actress: uh29: Singer: hmmmmmmmm rn i would have to say Bea Miller but check back with me in a week28: Band: The Silent Comedy27: Clothing store: hmmmm cotton on has really comfy clothes26: Grocery store: target or publix25: TV show: rn? bnha24: Movie: hhhhhh um idk uhhhhh moulin rouge i guess? it used to be my fav but idk anymore23: Website: tumblr22: Animal: elephants21: Theme park: epcot20: Holiday: halloween19: Sport to watch: none18: Sport to play: none17: Magazine: none16: Book: hmmmmm A Monster Calls15: Day of the week: none14: Beach: hh13: Concert attended: never been12: Thing to cook: uh i guess eggs11: Food: sushi10: Restaurant: its a really good sushi place with bubble tea and thai donuts that i dont remember the name of9: Radio station: hhh idk8: Yankee candle scent: idk7: Perfume: i dont really like perfume it gives me headaches6: Flower: ooooh gardenia5: Color: blue/green teal4: Talk show host: john oliver3: Comedian: hh2: Dog breed: hmmm husky? also labradors and uhhh all dogs tbh ohhh pitbulls and rottweilers i love dogs good yes1: Did you answer all these truthfully? ye mostly

[al1studies]

question tag

hey!! i was tagged by @sakura-studyblr to answer these questions about myself <3 under the cut!

i’m tagging some new mutuals who i’d love to get to know, but of course you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to! (and if you’ve done it already, send me the link!) @martiestudies @fsstudies @m1n4 @babypandii-studyblr @astrnomy

LAST:

1. Drink: decaf mocha frap

2. Phone call: o wow i don’t even know? probably my doctor. i don’t make a lot of phone calls

3. Text message: the soonseok net group chat

4. Song you listened to: aju nice by seventeen :’))) i was having a throwback party while i was driving lmao and that was the first song i ever listened to by them!

5. Time you cried: last monday or tuesday? i’d reached out to an old good friend of mine after we ended on questionable terms 4 years ago and she responded and i sobbed for 45 minutes sdjfsjd (and we’ve been talking every day since)

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: i’ve never dated but tbh i’d probably do this bc i’m a gemini

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: i’ve never kissed someone! 0:

8. Been cheated on: soonseok cheat on me with each other every day

9. Lost someone special: yeah

10. Been depressed: bitch i’m depressed all day every day

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nope!

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12. hmmm, light blue, millennial pink, and bright yellow!

13. o frick i did this wrong

14. ^

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: yes!

16. Fallen out of love: i fall in and out of love every single day at least once blame it on the cancer moon, gemini sun combo

17. Laughed until you cried: ya my dude

18. Found out someone was talking about you: not exactly but me and the captain of my mock trial team found out these members were talking shit abt how we were running things and the cap called them out y*kes

19. Met someone who changed you: of course!

20. Found out who your friends are: this is too deep, pls it’s 1:23 p.m.

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: nope!

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: i don’t use fb anymore so idk

23. Do you have any pets: yes! i have a shih-tzu called cupcake and a cat called riesling and i love them with all my heart

24. Do you want to change your name: mmmm kind of, i love my name but sometimes it’s not gender neutral enough for me

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: my best friends threw me a surprise party and we watched john tucker must die :’)

26. What time did you wake up: i woke up once at 7 then went back to sleep for another 3 hours

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: i was reading fanfiction i think???

28. Name something you can’t wait for: SEVENTEEN IN CHICAGO

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: 20 minutes ago

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: my birthday. listen i know that’s weird but listen, if The Mother would’ve just held it in for another 16 hours, i would share a birthday with KWON SOONYOUNG instead of donald trump.

31. What are you listening to right now: nothing, cafe sounds around me i guess lol

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i live in The Rurals, of course i have

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: humans

34. Most visited websites: ao3, tumblr, twitter, google drive

35. Mole/s: ya

36. Mark/s: a ton! i’m freckled as frick, n i have this cute mark on the side of my wrist and one on my right boob l o l

37. Childhood dream: i wanted to be a vet for a long time but then it switched to writer

38. Hair color: dark, almost-black brown

39. Long or short hair: neither?? it’s like a little past my shoulders

40. Do you have a crush on someone: no comment

41. What do you like about yourself: im gay

42. Piercings: just the standard ear ones!

43. Blood type: i don’t know djfdjsfajd

44. Nickname: cam, cami, millie

45. Relationship status: in love with lee seokmin

46. Zodiac: gem sun, cancer moon, cancer rising, cancer dominant

47. Pronouns: they/she, i fluctuate b/w what i prefer a lot so they/them is probably safe but if we’re good friends you can use she/her!

48. Favorite TV show: stranger things, scream mtv, how to get away with murder

49. Tattoos: none but i might get one that says “As Hasari” (to heal) in victoria schwab’s handwriting on my wrist!

50. Right or left hand: right

51. Surgery: do wisdom teeth count

52. Hair dyed in different color: nope

53. Sport: i don’t play but i watch a lot of tennis. serena, venus, and muguruza are my queens

54. same

55. Vacation: philippines :( the motherland

56. Pair of trainers: i’m wearing adidas gazelles rn

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: a bagel with creme cheese

58. Drinking: coffee atm but i’d rather be drinking tea

59. I’m about to: get shit done at the bookstore café

61. Waiting for: my depression to take a frickin hike

62. Want: seventeen hitouch tickets

63. Get married: yes!!! one day, and this song will be my first dance

64. Career: i don’t really want to do just one thing! i’d like to be an editor for a publishing company at some point, but i’d also love to teach english abroad (asia, preferably PH bc i want to give back to my mother country) or work in google’s secret lab where i know they’re making that shit you only see in sci-fi movies

65. Hugs or kisses: both!!

66. Lips or eyes: sdjfasjdfjdfj lips tbh. i love a man/woman with nice lips

67. Shorter or taller: taller!

68. Older or younger: older just bc i’m 18 and would never date a minor or someone in high school lol

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: dksfsjdf i don’t really know but i love soft tummies and soft arms?? i’m not rly into super ripped/muscly guys (girls, on the other hand...)

71. Sensitive or loud: i mean u can be both

72. Hook up or relationship: i would say hook up but i know i would catch feelings so .. relationship

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: ehhh for a significant other?? not really either, i wouldn’t date someone who gets me into too much trouble but i also wouldn’t date someone who can’t live a little

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a Stranger: no!

75. Drank hard liquor: nope

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: lmao every day my dude

77. Turned someone down: yes

78. Sex on the first date: i probably would, but i haven’t

79. Broken someone’s heart: i hope not??? djfjasdf

80. Had your heart broken: nope, i’m dead inside

81. Been arrested: no thank god, i’d probably have a nervous breakdown, not because of the police, but because my filipino mother would skin me alive

82. Cried when someone died: yeah

83. Fallen for a friend: NO DHJFAHSDFHSHF

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: i mean .. sometimes

85. Miracles: yes

86. Love at first sight: ehhh no

87. Santa Claus: no

88. Kiss on the first date: yea, that’s how you know whether or not to keep them (i’m mostly joking but also kind of not)

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name: megan, emily, zoe

91. Eye color: brown, basically black

92. Favorite movie: inside out and crazy stupid love :(( i can’t decide !!

[berserker-official]

Then allow me to be the one who does it. -ahem- Answer all 200 questions, please.

YOU

200: My crush’s name is: I don’t have one right now?

199: I was born in: A hospital in Colorado

198: I am really: Really tired

197: My cellphone company is: Cricket

196: My eye color is: Blue

195: My shoe size is: I think 12?

194: My ring size is: I have no fucking idea

193: My height is: 6′2

192: I am allergic to: Nothing that I know of

191: My 1st car was: I share a Jeep with the family

190: My 1st job was: A pizza man at Little Caesars in Texas

189: Last book you read: All You Need is Kill by Hiroshi Sakurazaka

188: My bed is: Small.

187: My pet: She a good girl and like 6 different breeds

186: My best friend: I have too many

185: My favorite shampoo is: Whatever’s cheap

184: Xbox or ps3: Both but I’m a sony man at heart

183: Piggy banks are: Neat

182: In my pockets: I don’t have pockets right now

181: On my calendar: Nothing special today but I have the Danganronpa V3 release date on it in a couple of weeks

180: Marriage is: Neat

179: Spongebob can: go steppin on the beach

178: My mom: is neat but I’m mad at her right now

177: The last three songs I bought were?

Silence by Marshmello & Khalid, OTONA HIT PARADE and Emotional Literacy by Bradio

176: Last YouTube video watched: Oney Plays D. Premonition WITH FRIENDS - EP 6 - Minesweeper175: How many cousins do you have? I honestly don’t know. My parents don’t really keep in touch with immediate family. My mom is an only child and my dad doesn’t talk to her sister.174: Do you have any siblings? I have a little brother who’s a fucking loser going for an astrophysics degree.

173: Are your parents divorced? Nope

172: Are you taller than your mom? By two feet.

171: Do you play an instrument? I used to play percussion in middle school

170: What did you do yesterday? A bunch of stencil work[ I Believe In ] (I’ve already answered these but here u go)169: Love at first sight: Not really168: Luck: Heart of the Cards167: Fate: No166: Yourself: Nope165: Aliens: Yeah164: Heaven: Not really163: Hell: Not really162: God: Not really161: Horoscopes: No but I look at them randomly160: Soul mates: Yeah159: Ghosts: No but not yet158: Gay Marriage: HELL YEAH157: War: No it bad156: Orbs: I BELIEVE IN THE ORBS155: Magic: No but not yet[ This or That ] (I’ve answered some of these already but here u go)154: Hugs or Kisses: Hugs153: Drunk or High: Neither152: Phone or Online: Online151: Red heads or Black haired: Black hair but I don’t really care?150: Blondes or Brunettes: Blonde cuz I’m ready to have fun149: Hot or cold: Cold148: Summer or winter: Winter147: Autumn or Spring: Autumn146: Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate145: Night or Day: Night144: Oranges or Apples: Apples143: Curly or Straight hair: Straight hair142: McDonalds or Burger King: Doesn’t matter141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Milk chocolate140: Mac or PC: PC139: Flip flops or high heals: I hate showing off my feet and I actually wore high heels once so HIGH HEELS138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: I’m sweet and poor so that one137: Coke or Pepsi: Neither one I actually don’t like carbonated drinks136: Hillary or Obama: Thanks obama135: Burried or cremated: Cremated it’s better for the earth134: Singing or Dancing: Singing even I fuckin suck133: Coach or Chanel: I have no idea132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: Neither?131: Small town or Big city: Big City130: Wal-Mart or Target: Target129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Ben Stiller128: Manicure or Pedicure: Whichever is the hand one127: East Coast or West Coast: I’m in the middle so doesn’t matter126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas cuz my birthday is in the summer so I’m dying of heat.125: Chocolate or Flowers: Chocolate124: Disney or Six Flags: Neither cuz going outside sucks123: Yankees or Red Sox: Cubs cuz they finally won the world series[ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: It bad121: George Bush: He did Nine Eleven120: Gay Marriage: It’s great why the fuck do people think it’s bad119: The presidential election: In general I used to not care but NOW GO FUCKING VOTE118: Abortion: I think it’s important117: MySpace: I never had a myspace but bring back the grunge emo shit116: Reality TV: It’s obviously fake so115: Parents: Parents are good without them I would not be here (But if they’re abusive fuck them)114: Back stabbers: Drop them faster than you can say bye bitch113: Ebay: I’ve only used it once and it was good so I say sure112: Facebook: Needs to chill the fuck out111: Work: Work is good you get money and gain retail horror stories110: My Neighbors: One of them is a drunk so meh but The Best Neighbor is a guy that used to build his own motorcycles but has heart problems so he had to sell them but he’s a chill guy and I love him109: Gas Prices: TOO DAMN HIGH108: Designer Clothes: Too rich for my blood107: College: A good choice for your future but it’s not for everybody106: Sports: The only sport I care about is MLG Gaming105: My family: They cool but highly problematic104: The future: I’m at a big turning point right now so[ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: Last Saturday?102: Last time you ate: A couple hours ago101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: Last week I think I hung out with a friend and we watched Willow100: Cried in front of someone: Months probably99: Went to a movie theater: I went to see Spider-Man Homecoming when it came out but next month I’m going to see Jigsaw with @warlord-official so that’s fun98: Took a vacation: I don’t know? When I got out of school for summer vacation?97: Swam in a pool: 2011?96: Changed a diaper: I actually never changed a diaper95: Got my nails done: Never94: Went to a wedding: Two years ago93: Broke a bone: Never92: Got a peircing: Sophmore year I got my lip pierced so...2008?91: Broke the law: I think I ran a red light once so a couple years ago?90: Texted: A day?[ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: Me cuz I do the dumbest shit88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: My dog87: The last movie I saw: I was watching the Rugrats Movie on Netflix a little while ago86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: Danganronpa V3 and then Jigsaw in October and the Ixalan MTG set at the end of the month.85: The thing im not looking forward to: The next time I have to go to jury duty84: People call me: by my name83: The most difficult thing to do is: Be an adult82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: Never81: My zodiac sign is: Leo80: The first person i talked to today was: My dad79: First time you had a crush: Probably in elementary school? She was partially deaf and my teacher told me to help her out for the year and we got pretty close78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: My friends cuz I gotta let my baggage out77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: I don’t remember cuz all my friends think the same way76: Right now I am talking to: No one75: What are you going to do when you grow up: I wanna do photography maybe teaching74: I have/will get a job: When I graduate73: Tomorrow: I gotta get up early for school72: Today: I did a bunch of school readings71: Next Summer: I’m gonna die from heat again70: Next Weekend: Hopefully I can hang with friends69: I have these pets: A good dog68: The worst sound in the world: When a racist opens their mouth67: The person that makes me cry the most is: Roman from the FH team cuz he’s NOT FUCKING NERFING CENT66: People that make you happy: All my friends65: Last time I cried: Just now boi we goin in hard64: My friends are: Good boys and girls63: My computer is: I have an 5 year old ASUS laptop that I should try to upgrade cuz it runs Overwatch poorly62: My School: MSU Denver61: My Car: I share a Jeep with the family60: I lose all respect for people who: Treat my friends like they’re subhuman59: The movie I cried at was: Death Note cuz it was fucking awful58: Your hair color is: Dirty blonde57: TV shows you watch: The only stuff on now that I’m watching is Rick and Morty and AHS: Cult56: Favorite web site: Tumblr even though this hellsite is full of sin55: Your dream vacation: Japan?54: The worst pain I was ever in was: My wisdom teeth were pretty obnoxious53: How do you like your steak cooked: Rare52: My room is: Very messy and small51: My favorite celebrity is: Gal Gadot50: Where would you like to be: Anywhere not stressed out49: Do you want children: Only if I have an S/O that wants kids48: Ever been in love: Yeh47: Who’s your best friend: I have too many to count but @warlord-official is one of them46: More guy friends or girl friends: I think it’s a tie?45: One thing that makes you feel great is: when my friends are happy or I eat a good burger44: One person that you wish you could see right now: My friend that’s in Japan I miss her43: Do you have a 5 year plan: Nope42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: Nope41: Have you pre-named your children: I did when I was dating someone and thought we were pretty serious but then I found out she was cheating on me so not anymore40: Last person I got mad at: My mom39: I would like to move to: Japan or somewhere that is cool all the time like Washington maybe38: I wish I was a professional: Photographer[ My Favorites ]37: Candy: Pay Day36: Vehicle: Reasonably priced car is one of the new Jeeps. Super expensive car would be an Aston Martin or Maserati35: President: Obama34: State visited: Georgia was nice33: Cellphone provider: Cricket cuz it’s the only one I’ve had32: Athlete: John Elway31: Actor: Chris Evans30: Actress: Gal Gadot29: Singer: Kesha28: Band: Bradio or Starset27: Clothing store: DXL cuz it’s the only store that sells clothes for Big Boys26: Grocery store: Safeway25: TV show: Hannibal or Future Diary. Rick and Morty is always good24: Movie: Saw, Pacific Rim, Back to the Future, or Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift23: Website: Tumle dot hell22: Animal: Dog?21: Theme park: NONE OF EM20: Holiday: Halloween19: Sport to watch: idk18: Sport to play: I used to do tennis so that one17: Magazine: Shonen Jump or Game Informer16: Book: The Disaster Artist15: Day of the week: Friday14: Beach: I’ve never been to a beach13: Concert attended: Either PVRIS or A Perfect Circle with @warlord-official12: Thing to cook: It’s like a mix of pizza and spaghetti11: Food: A nice burger10: Restaurant: I like Smashburger9: Radio station: I don’t remember the one that plays rock music here but that one8: Yankee candle scent: Something about rain?7: Perfume: There was a vanilla one that I thought smelled nice a long time ago6: Flower: idk?5: Color: a deep blue4: Talk show host: Ellen DeGeneres?3: Comedian: Bo Burnham2: Dog breed: Mutt1: Did you answer all these truthfully? I hope so   

[shortjohnsilver]

tagged by @baalmuian ty bruh i love talkin about myself LAST:

1. Drink: cherry pepsi 5ever. or until i decide to stop trying to die young. 2. Phone call: uhhh probably a potential job n trying to set up an interview 3. Text message: telling my aunt i’d do it this ONCE to get a student’s address for her but that i don’t feel comfortable logging into the system of my old job from home 4. Song you listened to: I’ve had Dark Blue on repeat a lot lately (Jack’s Mannequin) it’s my silverflint song. So probably that. 5. Time you cried: Earlier today while doing Damien’s dream daddy route. I’ve so far only cried during his and Robert’s. I cry about everything.

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: nope 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: nah not really. 8. Been cheated on: i almost said no bc i care so little i forgot but yeah quite extensively. 9. Lost someone special: who hasn’t done that thing? 10. Been depressed: like last week. 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: most recently out the window of a moving car while the guy behind us yelled “pussy!” at me and I flipped him off while still puking. LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12. orange 13. purple 14. red IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: ye! 16. Fallen out of love: nah 17. Laughed until you cried: probably 18. Found out someone was talking about you: nah but i bet they are. little shits. 19. Met someone who changed you: mmmmm not really im consistently a garbage 20. Found out who your friends are: no n that sounds scary. 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: ye GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: p much all? i think? i’ve at least met in person anyway. 24. Do you want to change your name: haha dying is easier 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: my gotdamn sister bought me a cabin for a weekend. nice. 26. What time did you wake up: like 2. 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: crying bc ddadds got delayed again. 28. Name something you can’t wait for: someone to hire me. 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: i was 7 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: wish i’d chosen an apartment over moving in w/ my sister. don’t tell her that she’ll take it wrong. 31. What are you listening right now: my sister’s shitty kitten bite stuff she’s not supposed to bite. 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: idfk. 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: drivers not signaling. people who don’t like john silver. 34. Most visited Website: probably this blue hell. or twitter, lately. 35. Mole/s: idk i don’t think so what even is a mole??? i like the rodents. 36. Mark/s: i got freckles in lots of places. not like the good kind that are everywhere in abundance but just like scattered about in a few places. 37. Childhood dream: police officer 38. Haircolour: fucken red RED R RED !!BLOOD!!! 39. Long or short hair: don’t talk to me abt hair length i have issues. 40. Do you have a crush on someone: nah 41. What do you like about yourself: uhhh i am… fast learner… that was taken off my ‘strengths’ category for interviews 42. Piercings: none. more issues. 43. Bloodtype: good question 44. Nickname: fufu 45. Relationship status: single 46. Zodiac: aries 47. Pronouns: he/him 48. Favourite TV Show: FUCKEN U KNOW WHAT IMMA SAY FOLKS. THOSE BLACK SAILS 49. Tattoos: none but i’ve been thinking about the ones i want recently. 50. Right or left hand: right 51. Surgery: none 52. Hair dyed in different color: my hair was not born this way. 53. Sport: i’d play anything if it was easy and i didn’t have anxiety about literally everything. im fucking good at sports and shit im just bad at life. anyway soccer if i had to choose. 55. Vacation: secluded cabin. all hiking. no human interaction or public places. 56. Pair of trainers: wat? MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: nothing atm. tragic. 58. Drinking: also nothing 59. I’m about to: idfk answer the next question after that it’s a mystery 61. Waiting for: someone how wants to hire me to call me 62. Want: a job 63. Get married: nah 64. Career: something with money WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: i love me some kisses 66. Lips or eyes: HMMMMMMM idk both good. 67. Shorter or taller: nnn don’t care? 68. Older or younger: still don’t care. 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: ARMS I LOVE ME SOME ARMS 71. Sensitive or loud: not sure what this means but probably loud 72. Hook up or relationship: got neither man lemme just have my cats. hook-up if i had to pick rn. 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant i am Nothing.HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: no wtf why haven’t i done this??? 75. Drank hard liquor: ye but it’s hard and i can barely stand how it tastes. 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: don’t have any 77. Turned someone down: sure???? 78. Sex in the first date: no again why haven’t i done this ?? my life reads like a… christian or some shit ew. 79. Broken someone’s heart: probably not 80. Had your heart broken: not in a relationship way but in a someone-betrayed-me-in-a-way-i-never-foresaw-and-changed-my-view-of-them-and-myself-forever way. we love dashes. 81. Been arrested: nah 82. Cried when someone died: yeah 83. Fallen for a friend: nah DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: sometimes. not often. 85. Miracles: cute but not really 86. Love at first sight: cute but not really 87. Santa Claus: absolutely 88. Kiss on the first date: uh, yeah? 89. Angels: no fuck that OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: aerin/JiRa 91. Eyecolour: idk like green 92. Favorite movie: black sails s01e01 no i didn’t do this whole thing just to answer the last question that way. im tagging uh... mutuals but they don’t gotta do it. pbvs. doubt i’ll find 20. @filmgoldlesbians @crystallisedrain @asexualsanji @samhound  @dearestfreckledginger @gaygingerpirates @husbandpirates @knownasemrys @miragu @lukearnold @anarfea ​

im positive i missed some probably some people i’ve even talked to but im a tired and i didn’t remember how some people’s urls actually went @whxlebones TOO I KEPT TRYING TO PUT AN A INSTEAD OF AN X while tryna tag you

[haught-at-waverly-place]

answer all of them

answers under the cut! only doing this cause im that bored

200: My crush’s name is: no one 199: I was born in: 1996198: I am really: bored197: My cellphone company is: wtf who cares?? 196: My eye color is: green/blue 195: My shoe size is: 6.5194: My ring size is: idk small 193: My height is: smol 192: I am allergic to: cats and all of nature in the spring and summer 191: My 1st car was: an hhr or as i liked to call it a poor mans hearse190: My 1st job was: an in home care taker aka i cleaned elderly peoples homes189: Last book you read: god i dont read188: My bed is: my best friend 187: My pet: is the loml 186: My best friend: she lives too far away tbh 185: My favorite shampoo is: i use old spice 2-in-1 like the basic bitch i am184: Xbox or ps3: ps3??? what year is it the switch is where its mfkin at 183: Piggy banks are: dope af 182: In my pockets: nothing cause im a broke bitch 181: On my calendar: nothing cause im a boring bitch 180: Marriage is: cool good on everyone who is married to their best friends 179: Spongebob can: new spongebob can die cause its garbage 178: My mom: is the best 177: The last three songs I bought were? who buys songs? 176: Last YouTube video watched: air crash investigations (dont ask) 175: How many cousins do you have? idk 174: Do you have any siblings? one sister 173: Are your parents divorced? nah 172: Are you taller than your mom? nah 171: Do you play an instrument? i used to play the violin and guitar but not anymore 170: What did you do yesterday? tried not to die [ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: idk maybe? 168: Luck: sure 167: Fate: yeah sure 166: Yourself: hahahahahahahahahahahahaha no 165: Aliens: fuck yeah 164: Heaven: ehhh no 163: Hell: no 162: God: not really 161: Horoscopes: lowkey160: Soul mates: every one has one 159: Ghosts: kind of 158: Gay Marriage: nah why would gays want to get married 157: War: war is p stupid 156: Orbs: wtf is an orb??155: Magic: no [ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: kisses 153: Drunk or High: drunk 152: Phone or Online: online 151: Red heads or Black haired: black 150: Blondes or Brunettes: brunettes 149: Hot or cold: cold 148: Summer or winter: winter 147: Autumn or Spring: autumn 146: Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla 145: Night or Day: night 144: Oranges or Apples: apples 143: Curly or Straight hair: curly 142: McDonalds or Burger King: mcdonalds 141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: this is dark chocolate erasure and i will not stand for it 140: Mac or PC: mac 139: Flip flops or high heals: neither both are garbage for the feet 138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: im already sweet and poor sooooo137: Coke or Pepsi: where is my dr. pepper representation 136: Hillary or Obama: obama 135: Burried or cremated: cremated id like to go out in a burnin glory even if im already dead 134: Singing or Dancing: singing 133: Coach or Chanel: neither 132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who are you people 131: Small town or Big city: big city 130: Wal-Mart or Target: im a lesbian so target obviously 129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: neither 128: Manicure or Pedicure: pedicure only cause they message my feet and legs 127: East Coast or West Coast: west coast 126: Your Birthday or Christmas: xmas cause snow 125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate 124: Disney or Six Flags: disney 123: Yankees or Red Sox: neither who cares about baseball [ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: men bein garbage 121: George Bush: why? 120: Gay Marriage: hell yeah we got it 119: The presidential election: we might as well have elected a crackhead 118: Abortion: let women get them safely so they dont fucking die its that simple117: MySpace: jesus is it 2006 again 116: Reality TV: its trashy but ill watch it cause im trash 115: Parents: love your parents kids (unless they are abusive) 114: Back stabbers: are awful just like maybe dont stab people in the back literally and metaphorically 113: Ebay: ive literally never used ebay in my life 112: Facebook: its p garbage i barely ever use it 111: Work: capitalism has killed workers and quality work 110: My Neighbors: they are there 109: Gas Prices: i havent gotten gas in like 2 months so like idk 108: Designer Clothes: why are they all like so ugly??107: College: stressful and only vaguely worth something 106: Sports: fun to play but boring to watch. i only go to sporting events for the alcohol 105: My family: is v dope and i love them 104: The future: stressful and i hate thinking about it [ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: last night it was my dad 102: Last time you ate: last night lol 101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: probably back in december with my best friend 100: Cried in front of someone: oooof all the time 99: Went to a movie theater: like 2 wks ago 98: Took a vacation: january i went on a cruise 97: Swam in a pool: last summer i think 96: Changed a diaper: uhhh never…. 95: Got my nails done: god way back in high school when i thought i was straight 94: Went to a wedding: last friday! 93: Broke a bone: 3 wks ago haha 92: Got a peircing: i havent gotten a piercing since i was like 6 91: Broke the law: uhhh i plead the fifth 90: Texted: i texted my mom like 40 mins ago [ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: myself 88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my dog shes so cute 87: The last movie I saw: spiderman into the spiderverse 86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: a vacation to see my aunt in indiana 85: The thing im not looking forward to: going back to school 84: People call me: uhhh my name? 83: The most difficult thing to do is: rn? pretty much everything 82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: never 81: My zodiac sign is: im a leo 80: The first person i talked to today was: my mom 79: First time you had a crush: first time i remember was freshman yr of college 78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: my mom 77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: i dont remember 76: Right now I am talking to: nobody im a lonely bitch 75: What are you going to do when you grow up: hopefully something to do with neuropsychology 74: I have/will get a job: 73: Tomorrow: wtf does this even mean 72: Today: or this one 71: Next Summer: and this one 70: Next Weekend: and even this one 69: I have these pets: a golden retriever mix 68: The worst sound in the world: 67: The person that makes me cry the most is: hahaha myself 66: People that make you happy: my family and friends 65: Last time I cried: yesterday 64: My friends are: amazing wonderful people that i love 63: My computer is: my lifeline 62: My School: is small but good 61: My Car: is a lesbian wagon that looks like i live in it 60: I lose all respect for people who: cheat on their s/o 59: The movie I cried at was: i dont usually cry during movies 58: Your hair color is: confusing kind of blonde also kind of brown 57: TV shows you watch: she ra, killing eve, grey anatomy too many others to list 56: Favorite web site: youtube 55: Your dream vacation: to go to germany 54: The worst pain I was ever in was: idk maybe my post surgery foot pain 53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium rare the only way a steak should be eaten 52: My room is: always a disaster 51: My favorite celebrity is: taylor swift 50: Where would you like to be: idk 49: Do you want children: noooo 48: Ever been in love: yes i have 47: Who’s your best friend: we aint naming names on here 46: More guy friends or girl friends: girl friends45: One thing that makes you feel great is: playing with my dog 44: One person that you wish you could see right now: A43: Do you have a 5 year plan: god no i dont even have a 5 hour plan 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: nah 41: Have you pre-named your children: nope40: Last person I got mad at: myself39: I would like to move to: somewhere other than where i am now 38: I wish I was a professional: at being not depressed [ My Favorites ]37: Candy: bottle caps or ritter sports 36: Vehicle: subaru wrx hatchbacks with a wide body kit are b nice 35: President: who tf has a favorite president 34: State visited: oregon or washington 33: Cellphone provider: who has a fave cell provider???32: Athlete: none31: Actor: idk like chris pratt or something 30: Actress: rn jodie comer 29: Singer: hayley williams 28: Band: paramore 27: Clothing store: h&m 26: Grocery store: target 25: TV show: law and order svu 24: Movie: princess mononoke 23: Website: youtube 22: Animal: red panda 21: Theme park: disneyland 20: Holiday: halloween 19: Sport to watch: none they are all hella boring 18: Sport to play: softball 17: Magazine: none i dont read 16: Book: i dont read books cant concentrate for that long 15: Day of the week: idk saturday 14: Beach: ive been to a beach like 3 times and i barely remember them 13: Concert attended: paramore after laughter concert last summer 12: Thing to cook: cooking stresses me the fuck out so i dont have a favorite thing to cook 11: Food: pasta!! 10: Restaurant: uhhh i dont really have one 9: Radio station: its 2019 who listens to the radio 8: Yankee candle scent: i dont really use candles 7: Perfume: i dont wear perfume 6: Flower: peach roses probably 5: Color: red 4: Talk show host: i dont watch talk shows they are all boring 3: Comedian: john mulaney or iliza schlesinger 2: Dog breed: corgi 1: Did you answer all these truthfully? hahahahaha

[low-budget-mulan]

All of the "hella [...] cute yall" asks! Muhahaha!

First of all tumblr changed and for some reason I am not getting all the asks that are being sent to me. So sorry for the late response 

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

More cereal than milk.

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

I absolutely love the cold. it is my favorite thing ever 

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

I have used very weird things. Usually whatever is closest. i used a slice of cheese once... 

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

i take my coffee the way I like my men rich and creamy or strong and black. there is no in between . 

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

I don’t ever really smile. so i mean not really 

6: do you keep plants?

until they die yes. 

7: do you name your plants?

no??? i’m not weird 

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

sleep

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

if absolutely nobody is around 

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

yes 

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends?

where to begin. Snao, i dont need this my man has two jobs, it’s the strangest thing. it’s the weirdest thing, drugs, AMERICA EXPLAIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNN, i eat dogs for breakfast. there is so many more that I am just going to stop here. 

12: what's your favorite planet?

URANUS 

13: what's something that made you smile today?

my friend 

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

empty because we would be using all of our money to pay rent in the stupid place 

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

My dad is helping to build the satellite to replace the hubble space telescope. 

16: what's your favorite pasta dish?

RAVIOLI 

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

PURPLE 

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

i MADE MY PRIEST THINK I WAS PREGNANT WHILE I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL. AND THE FATHER WAS ONE OF THE OTHER HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS 

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

no. I have always been unable to keep journals because my family doesn’t respect my personal space 

20: what's your favorite eye color?

tbh I really like brown eyes. 

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

I don’t really have a favorite bag. 

22: are you a morning person?

hell no 

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

sleep and netflix 

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

no 

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into?

the church 

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

i recently had to throw them away. I am now forced to wear shoes that are too small because I am too stubborn to buy new ones 

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor?

idk 

28: sunrise or sunset?

sunset 

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

whenever i do something stupid/awkward/embarrasing my friend being completely honest will say “youre cute” she is great and must be protected at all costs 

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

when i was forced to walk through the women’s march in san francisco 

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

i prefer bearefoot, but i wear silly socks or just don’t match my socks 

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

for a second i though turtles said quack 

33: what's your fave pastry?

Conchitas 

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

it was a little stuffed girl doll thing. its name was sara (at the time I thought my name was Sarah so my doll had a different name than me) 

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

yes, but am not artistic, so they just go to waste 

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now?

wal 

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

clea, but it is alwasy messy 

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

idk can’t think of them off the top of my head, but when people do things then i get annoyed 

39: what color do you wear the most?

black to match my soul 

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you?

my scapular, but it isn’t jewelry. I don’t wear jewelry just religious items. my scapular is blessed by pope francis and a third class relic of a couple saints 

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving?

the bible 

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

honu. its smol, family owned, and peaceful. 

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

it’s been too long. cant remember 

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

adoration 

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

yes 

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

it’s kinda cheesy so i don’t think it will be very gouda. 

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

pineapple on pizza 

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

idk wasn’t really a scared kid 

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

yes. can’t remember 

50: what's an odd thing you collect?

scapulars 

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

the digicatholit fam and taste of eternity 

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

united memes 

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

no, no, yes, yes. the ones ive seen I liked 

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

my grandpa when my grandma was in the hospital last week 

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point?

ummmmm can’t remember, but i do lots of things to prove points. 

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

idk 

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

it’s overplayed, but I like it. no. I am a normal person 

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

me and me 

59: what's your favorite myth?

idk 

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

yes. i lik the bred 

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received?

i gave someone a lego once. not a set of legos, not a lego man. a singular lego piece 

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

no 

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

no. theyre everywhere 

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

 blue and cloudy 

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with?

yes. renee. it’s been almost 2 days 

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

non existent. i’d like to not die of allergies 

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

i love them. 

68: what's winter like where you live?

hot 

69: what are your favorite board games?

monopoly and quelf 

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

i was forced into playing it by someone who used to be my friend. I STRONGLY RECOMMEND NOT USING THEM EVER. 

71: what's your favorite kind of tea?

iced 

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it?

yes, but im too lazy 

73: what are some of your worst habits?

all of them 

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

lit

75: tell us about your pets!

theyre ded 

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't?

ye 

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

pink 

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

MINIONS ARE LIKE MY FAVORITE THING EVER 

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

my friend will stay up super late watching movies with me even though he has things to do in the morning. 

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

dark blue. no. 

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

puddles of poo 

82: are/were you good in school?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA i could have been better 

83: what's some of your favorite album art?

idk 

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

hell yea. mostly catholic stuff 

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

john paul ii comic books 

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

i guess 

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

monty python, heavyweights, nacho libre 

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

catholic ones 

89: are you close to your parents?

no 

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

it’s hot and theres a lot to do 

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

JAPAN 

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

yes 

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most?

not brushing it because i am lazy 

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

idk? 

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

sleep 

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

i wait until it won’t let me wait any longer 

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

infj sign of the cross slytherin 

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

idk it was fine 

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

taste of eternity, your love

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

future 

[rokurookajima]

doing some questions bc i sent a risky text and i need to look @god until i get a response

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

last person i texted was my friend john who i absolutely hate so wow that would be a HUGE yikes

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

lmao good question. actually i mean i know the answer, we’re friends with benefits and we’re very cool with it. it would be cooler if he would respond to my thirst text rn u feel me

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

technically i guess my exboyfriend and my current fwb are into drugs?? like they both smoke weed and do psychedelics lmao. im p current boy has also done coke but didn’t like it. but wow yeah i guess the question was would i care. nah as long as they’re not doing anything dangerous like driving while on drugs, and they’re not doing anything serious like heroin, i’m chill

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?

nah its 5

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?

it was sober, but my first kiss with that person was drunk lmao

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

uhhh yeah i mean both my ex boyfriends. they fucked up too, but at the time, i wanted it to work out and felt like it was mostly my fault 

7. What does your last received text say?

“if only i had that influence” lmao i told my friend its too late to hang out tonight and that the only thing that would summon me out of my house would be sex

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?

uhhhh wow good question. idk how many times we’ve kissed like actually but we’ve been alone together three times and made out all three of those times 

9. Where was your last kiss at?

it was in the boy’s house, at the front door before i left how cliche

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?

wow i don’t have a sister

11. What do you drink in the morning?

usually just water if i’m at home and not going to get breakfast, but me and olivia keep getting diet coke in the morning before sculpture its bad

12. Where did you sleep last night?

alas it’s been a minute since i slept anywhere other than my apartment

13. Do you think relationships are hard?

i mean yeah they are, but up until the last month of my last relationship, it never felt like…palpably hard?? like there were hard things, but i never felt like it was so hard i questioned if it was worth it

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?

ha welp yeah five months ago was the last couple weeks me and my ex bf were still together and between then and now there are so many fuckin things i would change

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

not at all yo i’m TRYING to lock him in a room with me but idk where he is

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

rainy B’)

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

i know i do, but i can’t remember who it is right now

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

i’m not wearing pants at all my guy how scandalous 

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

wow i really hope so 

20. Does anyone like you?

lmao my friends like me B’) but i mean like like?? welp pretty boy likes me enough to have sex with me, but we’re not romantic. this kid josh from my photo classes told our friend that he likes me sorry josh :/

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

yes i have my girl saoirse 

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?

no

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

jesus CHRIST yes there is it’s this girl in my photo class that is the WORST

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

not a single day in my life i would never have 11 tattoos on my body

25. In the past week have you cried?

surprisingly i haven’t. i’m probably gonna jinx myself but since i got involved with this boy i haven’t rlly been sad at all. which is much more a correlation than a direct causation but he plays a part it’s a long story

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?

wow this french bulldog ran up to a fence while me and my friends were walking by and it was so scary bc we just hear this goblin sound and see a vague shape running at us out of an alley. but then it turned out to be a french bulldog and it was the best thing ever

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

i usually pull the towel into the shower and wrap up in it, but don’t actually dry myself off til i get out

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

uh not an active football player but my ex boyf played football in junior high if that counts 

29. Do you think you’re old?

sometimes. like i’m only 20 but also like i’m 20 and i’m a junior in college and soon i’ll be a college graduate and that shit is FUCKED

30. Do you like text messaging?

yes i do i’m a fan

31. What type of day are you having?

it’s pretty average. not bad, pretty decent. little exasperating bc i’ve been pressed to see this mans and haven’t heard from him but that’s rlly my own dang fault i need to chill the thirst out

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

yep and i did twice

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

cold!! but not like freezing, i love chilly weather like 50-60 degrees (f) is SO prime

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

yeah there’s a few!! luke, clayton, german, kevin, john even tho i hate him a lot. my ex boyfriend will always mean a lot to me bc of what we had. i got a soft spot for the current boy too i mean i gotta admit. and i guess my dad even tho he’s problematic af

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

overall i’d prefer a relationship, but i’ve never had a fling until the last few weeks and idk if it’s even a fling it’s just not a committed relationship. i think both are good under certain circumstances 

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

i think i’m somewhere in between like idk i think i’m pretty simple but i operate on a lot of fuck shit so who knows

37. What song are you listening to?

my 600 lb life 

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?

absolutely always 

39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?

lmao wow there are so many. olivia and evie definitely know the most about my life currently, and i have told them a lot about my life pre college. annabeth, gabrielle, gillian, and rachel also know a lot about me since we’ve been friends for a thousand years and now i still try to keep them updated on p much everything 

40. What made you start liking the person you like now?

uh even tho again its not a romantic thing i’ll still talk about pretty boy. weirdly like i met him last summer with my ex bf and i never knew what his name was, then i would see him literally all the time in super random places downtown. i don’t think i even knew his name til like november?? we also didn’t actually talk to each other til a party in december but i was super fucked up and don’t know what i said and i was moreso talking to his friend. now that i think back on it, i always thought he was attractive and when i’d think about possible like….hook ups he’d usually come to mind, but i didn’t think much about it. i was at a party a few weeks ago, and both of us ended up in the back of the kitchen and we were talking then we just kept talking and i was very drunk and we went upstairs and ended up making out in my friend’s bed. so uh. that was how. i guess why, it started mostly as a chemistry thing i guess but also he’s rlly rlly easy to talk to and always seems genuinely invested in what i have to say 

41. When did you last receive a text message?

like 2 minutes ago from evie 

42. What is wrong with you right now?

i haven’t heard back from the boy and honestly i wanna kiss :/

43. How well do you know the last female you texted?

the last are evie and olivia in our group chat and i’d say i know them both preeeetty well

44. Does anyone disgust you?

lmao that’s kinda extreme. i don’t think so but idk maybe

45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?

uh wow i don’t think so. idk i’m content with what i have rn, just kinda wish i saw him a little more often

46. Are you in a good mood right now?

yeah i guess, i’m chilling 

47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?

uh it was zach, who is my friend kevin’s friend and a barista at the coffee shop i went to earlier, so we chatted while he hooked me up with a cold brew

48. What color shirt are you wearing?

i’m also not wearing a shirt jesus why am i like this. i’m wearing a black bra and a green jacket

49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?

mmm i don’t think so? 

50. Anyone you’re giving up on?

no i don’t think so. i’ve moved on from seriously wanting my ex boyfriend to come back so i guess that kind of counts, but that’s not really giving up on him 

51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?

no definitely not. i wanted to for a minute, but it really felt so much worse to hate him

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

i guess maybe at the end of my relationship, there were times where my friends said maybe i should end things bc it was causing me so much more stress than anything else, but i couldn’t ever give it much thought bc i wanted to make it work so bad 

53. Do you like rain?

i do i love rain so much!! i don’t like when i have to walk through it, but even still it’s worth it

54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

nah man. again like the drugs question, my ex boyfriend and the current weird boy both drink. as long as they’re not like. ugly disaster drunk, or drunk driving, then i don’t mind at all

55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

lmao i kinda had a crush on one of my best friends in high school but it was more of a like….coming of age/grips with my sexuality thing than an actual like, and i never told her, so that’s the closest thing to that. 

56. Do you like to cuddle?

boyyyyyyy i fucking love to cuddle i live for it where is the boy so i can cuddle

57. Are you shy?

sometimes, but idk not necessarily but i do get a lot of social anxiety about certain things 

58. Do you get along with girls?

yes dude i fucking love girls girls are life i’ve always had rlly good girl friends and general experiences with girls. way more than boys lmao

59. Have you dated the person you texted last?

i mean me and evie and olivia are actually married sooooo

60. What do you carry with you at all times?

my phone?? that’s a boring answer but its tru

61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?

uh my friend annabeth’s house is pretty haunted and i’ve slept there a bunch of times so pls someone pay me for that

62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

definitely!! i mean if i legitimately like and care about that person, but if i didn’t i wouldn’t be in a relationship with them at all. 

63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?

lmao yes i was. we were not doing great bc the distance but it wasn’t actually bad in october 

64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

fucking YES

65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

my friends are all cute wtf anything with them is cute

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

uh they were pretty boy, luke, and olivia so 22, 20, and 21.

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself? 

lmao i get them done but my mom pays, the one thing she’ll pay for for me B’)   

68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?    

tbh i’m not a big fan of either, but i guess leopard

69. Do you have any stickers on your car?    

no but i should fix that 

70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?    

lil wayne i guess

71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?    

iPhone but man let me tell u i had a blackberry the first half of high school and i loved that little son of a bitch

72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?    

i’m pretty sure it was valentines day??? me and evie got some young stuffed crust

73. Do you like diet soda?    

i’m literally going to die from drinking diet coke

74. What color are the walls in your room?

in my apartment, they’re just white, but like at my home home they’re chocolate brown and light blue    

75. Are you 16 or older?    

physically, i’m 20. mentally, debatable.

76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?

no i think i watched the first couple episodes when it came out tho??    

77. Do you have a job?    

yep i’m a real adult i work in an office

78. What are your initials?    

sgg

79. Did you ever have braces?    

i did lmao junior year of high school til right before i started college

80. Are you from the south?    

nah im midwest both in body and spirit

81. What does your last status on facebook say?    

uh it was a click bait thing i shared lmao

82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?    

i do bc it was gabrielle who has been one of my best friends since first grade

83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?   

im closer to my mom i think but me and my dad are chill the majority of the time now. i don’t live with them anymore so i don’t rlly spend much time with them in general but y’know

84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?    

i did gymnastics for a minute as a small small child

85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?    

wow it’s been a really long time??? i think it might have been the blair witch lmao

86. Do you smoke?    

cigarettes, sometimes. i like to smoke when i’m at parties, and also evie smokes so i’ll smoke with her sometimes. weed, yes more often. haven’t for a while tho wtf

87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?    

heels lmao i fuckin hate flip flops

88. Is your phone touch screen? 

uh are there people on this site that don’t have touch screen phones in this day and age   

89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?    

straight

90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?    

nah lmao my parents would’ve killed me i would never have gotten away with it. also where i grew up, none of my friends lived that close together so when we couldn’t drive, none of us could’ve met up. plus there was nothing to do at all after like 10 other than go to someone’s house so there would’ve been no point

91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?    

i guess a lake?? if it wasn’t a scary one u feel me

92. Have you ever made out in a car?    

yes my first make out ever was in a car parked on my college campus

93. …Had sex in a car?    

no but y’know i’m open 

94. Are you single or in a relationship?    

i feel like i’ve talked about this so much lmao but not really either i guess i’m more single than i am in a relationship, but i’m not tryna sleep with anyone other than pretty boy so idk honestly this is nice to be somewhere in between

95. What were you doing last night at midnight?    

i was sleeping last night was not an exciting one

96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?    

idk man i think december, the last time i was in florida??

97. Do you like the camera on your phone?    

yeah it’s chill. i rlly like taking pictures with flash through snapchat

98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?    

once again i’ve talked about him SO much in this questionnaire but yes i do right now he’s a weird art hoe thot that does too many psychedelics and likes to write and teaches kindergarten 

99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?    

nah man i rlly don’t drink that much

100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?   

idk if i hate them, but i definitely am not friends with a good portion of my Facebook friends  

101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? 

i have not thank god   

102. Name your favorite Kesha song:    

die young B’)

103. Do you have any tan lines right now?    

it’s march in ohio whats the sun

104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?    

i would never wear cowboy boots honestly i’m insulted

[allinsgaywitchaesthetic-moved]

literally no one asked for this and i was bored so heres monsta x as a jazz combo under the cut

shownu

sax player, brass/winds leader

plays every single saxophone known to man + clarinet, flute, and p much every other wind instrument ?? like how?????

hes amazing thats how

so so so dedicated but like

where kihyun is like …. aggressively dedicated shownu is more relaxed abt it

like kihyun plays more but shownu listens more and analyzes more sort of??

thats why hes the leader

has a very good understanding of different styles and how to break them down

just perceptive musically

also really good at imitating specific styles

always has extra valve oil and grease and strings and sticks in his bag it’s ridiculous the thing probably weighs like 30 pounds

he doesn’t really have a specific music taste?? like hes just not picky

also too compliant for his own good …

minhyuk showed up at rehearsal once like “shownu, lets play death metal!!”  and shownu was just like “ok sounds good”

also doesn’t really like to be super assertive so he’ll usually suggest articulations and phrasings rather than saying “tongue this note and slur that”

everyone listens to him anyways tho because he’s right

not really tonally or rhythmically inclined tbh hes just good all around

hes really flexible stylistically and likes to play in lots of different styles

loves bob florence, john coltrane, ellington, but will listen to everything

likes to challenge himself w rhythms bc hes pretty good at them!!

he gets really anxious before performances tho and it definitely reflects in his playing :(

kihyun

trumpet!!! lead trumpet!!!!

his sound is really sharp (like cutting? almost) and strong and honestly??? the most beautiful thing uve ever heard

probably a prodigy tbh

he isnt leader tho like just bc he plays the ~visually most important~ instrument doesn’t mean hes in charge lol

always attentive, has like 3 pencils on him at all times, records rehearsals, Model Musician tbh

tonally inclined

eats, drinks, and breathes long tones

can’t sleep?? long tones

hungry?? long tones

bored?? long tones

i.m: hey kihyun whats the answer for question 11?

kihyun: long tones, changkyun. the answer is always long tones

i.m, in the background: im a guitarist????

his range is ridiculous bc of this

loves ballads!!! especially basie ballads like little darling bc he can just … drag out his beautiful sound like theres no tomorrow

probably doesn’t like a lot of contemporary jazz but plays it to challenge himself

also loves thad jones, miles davis, jalc (modern groups playing old jazz make him happy!!) and jazz vocalists - frank sinatra, cecile mclorin savant, etc.

biggest weakness is probably the fact that he doesn’t listen as much as he should so he doesn’t always grasp style well :(

shownu: kihyun listen to this recording!

kihyun: i can’t ,, im playing rn .. ., gotta go fast

minhyuk

hes a trombone player and no one can tell me other wise

this is bc trombones are the worst and so is minhyuk

shownu: alright everyone lets start at measure 39

minhyuk: *slides around on the trombone* how about i solo for 30 measures instead

never fuckingf listens

but hes not a bad player!! hes just .. an unstoppable force of nature .. .,

his sound is really warm and broad but occasionally sounds a little muffled

esp when hes lazy or doesn’t like the piece theyre working on

tbh don’t even expect him to try if he doesnt like the music ur playing

tonally inclined

hates long tones, has never done them in his life probably??

bc of that his range isn’t super big but his sound is really strong and powerful

kihyun works w him on long tones bc ‘minhyuk!!! ur range is holding us back,, please!!’

prefers up tempo funk or latin tunes but doesn’t like super complicated rhythms

loves gordon goodwin and the brecker brothers to bits …

will blast them while showering :)

really impatient as a musician

like he cant focus for super long periods of time and he cant sit through all of those long rehearsals so his playing suffers bc of that

he practices better in small groups than alone bc the other members help him focus better so he gets more done~

i.m

guitarist

hes the only guitarist u will ever meet who shows up on time to rehearsal… amazing

its rlly relaxing to watch him play hes just really confident n comfortable w his style of playing bc hes p flexible and he loves jazz a lot bc its so different and complicated as a genre!!!

has read every single jazz autobiography and watched every single jazz movie known to man

rhythmically inclined

he, hyungwon, and jooheon just .. have rhythm clapping competitions where they see who can clap the most complicated rhythms for the longest amount of time …. theyre a trip

plays clappingmusic on his phone when hes bored and has converted the entire band to it

fuckin loves free jazz and fusion!!!!  and contemporary jazz

he, hyungwon, and jooheon just hang out listening to ornette coleman, charles mingus, chick corea - its a great time

(hyungwon hates ornette coleman but he wont tell changkyun bc he doesn’t want to break his heart :( )

hes a sucker for like .. old romantic sounding jazz

he plays through his real book every couple of days- he really loves the classics too

loves wes montgomery

hes the bands treasure; you make fun of a lick he played?? u wont see the light of day . …

his biggest weakness is he has troubles communicating with the other group members like w eye contact and tempo changes and stuff

also gets lost in the middle of pieces sometimes bc hes a little spacey n he worries :(

wonho

pianist, rhythm section leader

naturally bouncy style, very swingy - he’s a natural, also possibly a prodigy?

won a bunch of classical music competitions when he was a kid but then he realized he liked jazz more so he switched over

the biggest jazz history nerd!! just knows a lot of random facts about all the composers

favorite facts include: billy strayhorn was gay and mingus punched his lead bone player in the mouth (hyungwons response ‘youre next minhyuk’ always makes him laugh)

buys food for everyone before rehearsal

always trying to help everyone become more confident and happy with their own musical abilities

helps everyone rehearse by doing 1-on-1 stuff if they need it

probably plays in elderly homes and in orphanages to help the kids

also not really rhythmically/tonally inclined hes just good

rlly likes jazz-inspired classical music and like … jazz movie soundtracks

watches jazz movies with changkyun

also likes ragtime, second line, dixieland … all those old exciting jazz movements bc theyre so fun to play!!!

he isn’t very confident in his playing like he knows hes good but he doubts himself a lot so he lets other people’s preferences control him??

like if someone doesn’t like something abt a solo of his he’ll change to appease them, even if he likes it a lot :(

hyungwon

bassist

plays both upright and electric

really smooth long sound on both instruments - his entire style feels very relaxed

honestly was dragged into this by minhyuk without knowing what jazz really was but he really grew to like it!!

loves his role as a bassist bc hes important but like … behind the scenes important >:)

most people don’t think abt the bassist at all in the band but hyungwon Knows that hes important so hes ok w that

definitely doesn’t know how to work his own equipment like

quarter inches?? amp head??? what r those he just doesn’t know

he and jooheon always argue about the best way to do a fill and tempo and anything else under the sun bc theyre both stubborn and think theyre right

wonho is the only one that can make it stop

hyungwon probably shows up late to rehearsal w like … cup ramen and a book someone help him

the book is a jazz autobiography and he discusses it w changkyun after rehearsal over coffee

hes rhythmically inclined and loves to challenge himself w odd meters and weird fingerings

he doesn’t necessarily like that kind of music though?? like hell play it to challenge himself but he won’t always like it and won’t really listen to it

loves every single bassist known to man

esp victor wooten, mingus, esperanza spalding, ron carter

he hates jaco tho bc jaco is an asshole

minhyuk: but mingus was also an asshole??

hyungwon: shhhhhhh mingus was a special kind of asshole so its ok

will honestly just listen to entire bass concerts

loves cool jazz and bebop

hes really … absorbed in his own playing because he throws himself into it and wants his walking to be good and he wants to be in time and all these other things so when hes playing he sometimes ignores the rest of the group bc hes trying so hard to sound good

hes a lil bit of a worrier internally and its gets in the way of the confidence of his playing

also procrastinates on his deadlines like theres no tomorrow lol

jooheon

drummer!!!!

carries at least 3 pairs of sticks, brushes, and a practice pad with him at all times

he??? drums in the bath room sometimes????? you’ll just walk by and hear vague slapping noises like ‘oh thats just jooheon! hes working on his rudiments’ :)

one of those 3 pairs of drumsticks is broken and taped together so that it doesn’t fall apart tbh

wants to bring back jazz rap

also rlly likes electroswing and jazz trap

just give him jazz thats influenced by new technologies in music !! he loves it

rhythmically inclined - especially likes playing in odd meters

his fills and hits are always so in-time it’s ridiculous

loves don ellis and buddy rich

his jazz playlist is 50% all of the standard jazz he needs and the other 50% is like thess tracks from single composers that have been dead 20 years w no meter or are in like 17/8 or something

jokes abt having 'perfect click’ all the time like

jooheon: you know perfect pitch??? ive got perfect tempo ;)))

hyungwon: jooheon shut up, you rush all of your fills

sets up pranks w minhyuk before rehearsal starts so that its 'more fun’ because jazz is 'all about rebellion against the status quo’ like ok

he worries a lot bc he feels like he needs to carry the entire band on his shoulders bc he’s a drummer and therefore The Most Important

but then everyone always says “but we’re all drummers!” and he feels a little better abt it

probably cries after every performance

[vividlasagna]

My son...DO ALL OF THEM FOR THE MUSIC ASK MEME

fair warning this list will be mostly mountain goats songs

1. a song from the year you were born

smash mouth - all star

2. a song that reminds you of school

cascada - everytime we touch

for a very specific reason...

3. a song tied to a specific moment in your life

oh man there are... a lot of songs to choose from here but uh. have a bunch

the mountain goats - hast thou considered the tetrapod

sufjan stevens - for the widows in paradise, for the fatherless in ypsilanti

defiance, ohio - oh susquehanna 

the mountain goats - broom people 

4. a song that is not sung in your native language

fuck uh... um. oh wait i know a good one

hatikvah

5. a song over 5 minutes long

godspeed you black emperor - the dead flag blues

6. a song under 2 minutes long

ok, so this is technically exactly two minutes but whatever

neutral milk hotel - king of carrot flowers, part 1

7. an instrumental

sufjan stevens - redford (for yia-yia and pappou)

8. a classical piece

bedrich smetana - die moldau 

because it sounds like hatikvah, obviously

9. a song with no percussion

the mountain goats - high hawk season 

10. something you’ve heard performed live

ajj - big bird 

11.   something you’d give ANYTHING to hear performed live

oh man theres... a lot by the mountain goats, its hard to pick one. ill go with a classic.

the mountain goats - this year

12.   a song by an artist who’s from where you’re from (town/city/state/country)

sufjan stevens - oh, detroit, lift up your weary head

13.   a song made suddenly precious because of a special someone

the mountain goats - night light

14.   a song made suddenly awful because of a special someone

i swear to god i had one for this like 20 minutes ago but i forgot it. fuck

15.   something to BELT SHAMELESSLY/do DIVA HANDS to

bastille - pompeii

16.   something to SCREAM ALONG to

i have scream-sung along to this one on an empty stretch of road at 50 mph with all the windows down before, it was one of the best moments ive ever had.

the mountain goats - going to georgia

17.   a song for raging

the mountain goats - lovecraft in brooklyn

18.   a song that demands lipsyncing into a makeshift microphone

ok this is.. really cliche so im sorry but

queen - bohemian rhapsody (yes, i linked to the muppets one for some variety)

19.   the last song you had stuck in your head

guster - architects and engineers

20.   a song you’re dying to master all the words to

the mountain goats - sinaloan milk snake song

21.   a song that you could SLAY at karaoke

the mountain goats - cry for judas 

22.   a song you can’t help but dance to

this is the same as 23 and im doing this out of order so im not answering this one

23.   a song that makes you want to dance on a table

the postal service - such great heights

24.   a song that makes you wanna STRIP

no

25.   a song with a great music video

i... dont watch music videos so uh. heres one off the top of my head

they might be giants - birdhouse in your soul

26.   a song that makes you act out the music video when you hear it

the talking heads - once in a lifetime

27.   a song with counting

neutral milk hotel - holland, 1945

28.   a song with spelling

dead man’s bones - my body’s a zombie for you 

29.   a song with lots of clapping

santa esmerelda - don’t let me be misunderstood

30.   a song 40 years older than you

technically 35 years older than me, but whatever. 

irma thomas - anyone who knows what love is

31.   a song you wish your parents didn’t know the words to

i honestly dont have one for this

32.   a song whose lyrics shocked you once you were old enough to understand them

simon and garfunkel - cecelia 

33.   a song you have ZERO patience for

that one that goes “i can make your hands clap”

im not linking it because that would be an act of domestic terrorism

34.   a song you’d like your favorite artist to cover

if john darnielle covered chicago i would literally die

sufjan stevens - chicago (demo) 

35.   a great song you discovered thanks to a movie

oscar isaac - fare thee well

36.   a great song you discovered thanks to television

all along the watchtower - bear mccreary

37.   a song you’re ashamed to have in your music library

johnny hobo and the freight trains - harmony parking lot song

yes that’s right kids i had a gen-yoo-ine folk punk phase

38.   ok what’s the song you were too ashamed to even post for #37

never forget that im a slut for real actual great lakes folk music

lee murdock - banks of cold waters 

39.   the most played song in your music library

i use spotify so i dont think there’s a way to look, but its probably this

old college try - the mountain goats

40.   favorite disney song

john williams - star wars (main title)

that’s technically disney right

[wildwaxshows]

FEVER B (USA) will support MASKED INTRUDER (USA) & THE HAWAIIANS (D) on 20/07 at Molotow, Hamburg - presented by WILDWAX SHOWS!!!

https://www.facebook.com/events/1076872735831765/

Präsentiert von Ox, Livegigs.de, SLAM Magazine und Wild Wax Shows Straight outa Rikers. Straight outa Cook County, straight outa that prison in Louisiana that everyone says is horrible, but I can’t be bothered to Google, it’s MASKED INTRUDER, four melodious felons in ski masks with rap sheets, matching converse and some of the catchiest tunes this side of Johnny Cash, Live in Folsom Prison, and they’re coming at you with their second full length, the semi eponymously titled M.I., scheduled to break out on Fat Wreck Chords on May 27, 2014.! Some say they hail from Wisconsin, some say their accents on stage betray a New Jersey heritage and some people think they’re just Chixdiggit in disguise, but one thing’s for sure, Blue and the gang have been crafting some of the sweetest pop-punk gems about breaking and entering, stalking, and muggings that you’ve ever heard. Not many grown men in ski masks can claim to be the very favorite band of Fat Mike’s daughter, for example (not many men in ski masks should be around children at all) but that’s what makes Masked Intruder so special. They’re more than a gimmick. They’ve got chops. They’re weird, kinda arty, fairly goofy, vaguely dumb, relentlessly smart and they appeal to pretty much everyone, from their fellow hardened criminals to little girls and everyone in between.! Now, they’re back on the lam in support of M.I., featuring thirteen tracks of broken hearts, broken promises and breaking and entering. Recorded by Matt Alison at Atlas Studios in Chicago (Alkaline Trio, Lawrence Arms, Menzingers), M.I. boasts the Intruders at their toe tapping, jewelry stealing best. I mean, if there’s a better title for a love song than Don’t Run Away, I sure as hell haven’t heard it.! In support of M.I., and in order to stay a step ahead of their parole officers, the Intruder duders are hitting the road nonstop, traversing the globe, from Europe to Australia to the US of A, with bands like the Dwarves, Face To Face and more, bringing their heart-stealing songs to the people, all while merch dude, stage security and exquisitely mustached lawman Officer Bradford makes sure that hearts are the only things Masked Intruder steals. Officer Bradford may not wear a smile during a Masked Intruder show, but everyone else in the house sure is, and you can bet your ass that whether live or on record, the boys in Masked Intruder are sure to have you singing along and looking for your wallet. Oh, that prison in Louisiana is called Angola. Score one for memory. Take that, Google. The Hawaiians are back!!! Nach einem musikalischen Beitrag zur amerikanischen TV-Serie Hawaii Five-0 im Jahr 2017 sind die Westerkappelner Surf-Punks endlich mit der neuen Single "Four-Headed Shark Attack" (Kamikaze Records) am Start. Drei Akkorde, die primitiven Gitarren der Ramones und ganz viel 50's Rock n' Roll sind nach wie vor die Rezeptur des hawaiianischen Party Cocktails, der am 20. Juli auch im Vorprogramm von MASKED INTRUDER konsumiert werden darf. FEVER B (USA)    Brian Hermosillo a.k.a. Fever B has been a part of the underground San Francisco music scene since the 90s. The world famous Purple Onion and Chameleon bar were his home away from home for awhile as a member first of the Retardos and then the Fevers. Since the Retardos were Superteem label mates with The Donnas who labeled themselves “Donna A.”, “Donna R.” etc... on their records he decided when the Fevers got their record deal with Tina Lucchesi’s Lipstick Records,as a tribute to old label mates,to label his band on the 45 sleeve in the same way and so he became “Fever B”. Brian moved to Minneapolis a few years later to escape the dot com invasion and save the Fevers who’s drummer had quit to move to Los Angeles by working with a drummer friend who lived in Minnesota. The Fevers recorded two Lps for the German label Alien Snatch there in MLPS with the new drummer and toured Europe. Brian came back to Europe with his Minnesota band Skipper(Chocolate Covered Records) playing mostly in Italy a few years after that version of the Fevers had also ended. Brian moved back to California and the Fevers soon returned to Europe with the original lineup(Fever G,Fever K,and Fever B)a few years after Skipper. He also flew to The Netherlands for an extended weekend to record a 45 as The Sweet Faces in Utrecht with local indie pop legend Michel Van Der Woude on drums sandwiched between those two Fevers tours somewhere. One weekend in Saint Paul,Mn. in between all this excitement, Brian got snowed in. A wall of snow blocked the doors and windows and trapped him in his apartment! Of course he could dig his way out or call somebody -but he didn’t. He had beer,cold pizza, drums and guitars, and an 8-track reel to reel set up in the living room so he decided to stay inside and make a one man band style recording. He recorded five songs. A Burger records tour featuring their own band Thee Makeout Party came through town soon after. They are long time friends of Brian’s and came to visit his apartment and see his home studio. He gave them a cassette of his recordings just for fun and never thinking it would be released. They listened on their way back to California and decided it should be released on vinyl. It was an honor since Burger had mostly done cassette only releases at the time . Some folks in Milwaukee who were fans of the Fevers began calling Brian “Fever B!” at some point -which was by now an obscure reference- when he came to their town and whenever they came to Minneapolis and the name stuck with him. So he decided to call his solo release on Burger Records “Fever B”. The record was more successful than Brian imagined it could be. 90s mainstream power pop star Matthew Sweet even recently covered the song This Sea Is My Life from the EP! Crazy. The original version of the Fevers still plays every now and then. Brian plays most regularly with Fever B and the Sea. A band he put together to play songs from the Burger 12” and other songs he has written over the years including lots of new ones he’s hoping to record with his band the Sea. They play around the Bay Area including a recent show at 924 Gilman Street in Berkeley. The Sea is Lyndsey Hawkinson(Hondettes/Sweet Haughts ) on drums ,and a life long friend Tim Tsuda(sometimes member of Colossal Yes) on bass.    -John Denery of the Hi-Fives saw Fever B and The Sea at a club in San Francisco recently and said they sounded like the great garage pop side of K Records with a guitar hero twist!

[internetdetectives]

OLD - 12/29/16 - Jeremy and Chat

[2016-12-29 11:39:43 PM] ARGdov: HEY HEREMY [2016-12-29 11:39:43 PM] Jeremy J: Or now rather hahahaha [2016-12-29 11:39:48 PM] Grey: ack [2016-12-29 11:39:54 PM] 🎄ADULT_LINK [ID]🎄: hey jero [2016-12-29 11:39:58 PM] Wolfcat: jey jeremy [2016-12-29 11:40:02 PM] ARGdov: Jey, do you remember us? [2016-12-29 11:40:16 PM | Edited 11:40:26 PM] ryann foxx: Jello. [2016-12-29 11:40:16 PM] Jeremy J: Jes haha [2016-12-29 11:40:42 PM] Purpleleven: I've been looking at these for awhile, and thought something was off, but it is true. Base64 doesn't contain any special characters like punctuation, but base85 does [2016-12-29 11:40:59 PM] Jeremy J: It has been so long [2016-12-29 11:41:03 PM] Leliel: Jeremy! [2016-12-29 11:41:07 PM] ryann foxx: yes it has 8^( [2016-12-29 11:41:22 PM] Leliel: I was looking at the skype group for awhile and then I looked a bit harder and then I was like "oh crap this guy's serious business"! [2016-12-29 11:41:30 PM] Grey: which is hilarious by the way [2016-12-29 11:41:33 PM] Leliel: I'm so happy! Welcome back man =D [2016-12-29 11:41:45 PM] ARGdov: are you doing ok, Jeremy? [2016-12-29 11:43:06 PM] Leliel: Are you doing well? Also, do you remember me? =D [2016-12-29 11:43:50 PM] 🎄ADULT_LINK [ID]🎄: ... I found fuckin Saitama in a santa outfit in crosscode [2016-12-29 11:44:07 PM] 🎄ADULT_LINK [ID]🎄: .-. [2016-12-29 11:44:08 PM] Jeremy J: ryann foxx - Today 1:41 AM > yes it has 8^( Turn that frown upside down young one we have no time for sad faces. Soon is the time of action. ARGdov - Today 1:41 AM > are you doing ok, Jeremy? 8^ ) as good as I can be like this, same as always. [2016-12-29 11:44:18 PM] 🎄ADULT_LINK [ID]🎄: 8^y [2016-12-29 11:44:19 PM] Grey: Cross code has a full release now? [2016-12-29 11:44:25 PM] 🎄ADULT_LINK [ID]🎄: nah not yet [2016-12-29 11:44:30 PM] Leliel: 8^O [2016-12-29 11:44:31 PM] 🎄ADULT_LINK [ID]🎄: still in early access [2016-12-29 11:44:35 PM] 🎄ADULT_LINK [ID]🎄: john got it for me for xmas [2016-12-29 11:44:37 PM] Jeremy J: Pay close attention [2016-12-29 11:44:39 PM] 🎄ADULT_LINK [ID]🎄: (thank you john) [2016-12-29 11:45:07 PM] ryann foxx: We will. [2016-12-29 11:45:12 PM] Jeremy J: It has been so long no thanks to that wayward boy [2016-12-29 11:45:33 PM] Leliel: Carry on my wayward son... [2016-12-29 11:45:44 PM] Jeremy J: Insidea if I remember [2016-12-29 11:45:52 PM] Jeremy J: I spoke of him before [2016-12-29 11:45:59 PM] ryann foxx: Kevin. [2016-12-29 11:45:59 PM] Leliel: Yeah, that's the name. [2016-12-29 11:46:21 PM] Jeremy J: Kevin has held things in place [2016-12-29 11:46:39 PM] Leliel: Like new years eve parties> [2016-12-29 11:46:46 PM] Jeremy J: Im not sure what he hoped to gain from this [2016-12-29 11:47:16 PM] Jeremy J: Maybe he thought he could bend the rules to his will [2016-12-29 11:47:32 PM] Jeremy J: Get the outcome he wants all by himself [2016-12-29 11:47:50 PM] Grey: I take it that this didn't work. [2016-12-29 11:47:53 PM] Leliel: Ah, I see. Be on the side of only himself? [2016-12-29 11:48:04 PM] ryann foxx: Hold on... [2016-12-29 11:48:08 PM] Jeremy J: But even She cannot break the rules that hard [2016-12-29 11:48:10 PM] ryann foxx: Nevermind, continue. [2016-12-29 11:48:20 PM] Grey: She? [2016-12-29 11:48:23 PM] ryann foxx: Luna. [2016-12-29 11:48:25 PM] Leliel: What rule was he trying to break? [2016-12-29 11:49:21 PM] Jeremy J: Take control of that which is behind the wall of truth [2016-12-29 11:49:33 PM] Leliel: Oh man, that darn mystery. [2016-12-29 11:49:38 PM] Jeremy J: But he is something like me now [2016-12-29 11:49:44 PM] Jeremy J: We cannot do this [2016-12-29 11:49:46 PM] Leliel: Oh no! ): [2016-12-29 11:50:03 PM] Purpleleven: So he has been found  out as well? [2016-12-29 11:50:18 PM] Leliel: Something like you? But not exactly? [2016-12-29 11:51:06 PM] Jeremy J: The difference between me and him is he killed to last beyond his own life [2016-12-29 11:51:09 PM] BKG CircleHunter: oh shit [2016-12-29 11:51:16 PM] Jeremy J: I just worked for it hahaha [2016-12-29 11:51:19 PM] Leliel: dark [2016-12-29 11:51:20 PM] Grey: Do you happen to know a girl named Hope by any chance? [2016-12-29 11:51:29 PM] BKG CircleHunter: i am late to the party [2016-12-29 11:51:33 PM] Jeremy J: But you can see what that got me [2016-12-29 11:51:52 PM] Jeremy J: Death by itself is truly a gift hahaha [2016-12-29 11:52:33 PM] Jeremy J: I long now for only null and void [2016-12-29 11:52:46 PM] Jeremy J: But enough of my problems hahahaha [2016-12-29 11:53:11 PM] Leliel: We'll get you your rest, don't worry [2016-12-29 11:53:25 PM] ryann foxx: So, Kevin tried to play both sides and betrayed all of them, but it backfired? [2016-12-29 11:54:13 PM] Jeremy J: It is currently backfiring after a countless amount of trials and failures and loops back to day one [2016-12-29 11:54:17 PM] Jeremy J: So many [2016-12-29 11:54:55 PM] Grey: ....How amny times have you guys looped?! [2016-12-29 11:55:06 PM] Leliel: Oh! Is Kevin responsible for the time loop? [2016-12-29 11:55:08 PM] ryann foxx: wait wait what if when the title was cycling that was kevin [2016-12-29 11:55:17 PM] Leliel: Hmm [2016-12-29 11:55:20 PM] Leliel: There's too many cycles [2016-12-29 11:55:23 PM] Jeremy J: The ones lost within this place have suffered and those he sought to govern now rebel against him [2016-12-29 11:55:46 PM | Edited 11:55:56 PM] Grey: You mean Hope and the guy who held us at gunpoint? [2016-12-29 11:57:12 PM] Jeremy J: Those events are but the screaming memories of lost moonchildren. Some stuck by association but not related to your own goal. [2016-12-29 11:58:15 PM] Jeremy J: Im glad I died in peace [2016-12-29 11:58:31 PM] Jeremy J: Stabbed in the neck by my own son hahaha [2016-12-29 11:59:32 PM] BKG CircleHunter: so these people we heard from earlier are dead? [12:00:12 AM] Jeremy J: But I was hardly awake while it happened so it was not of much a shock until later or earlier or something hahaha [12:00:39 AM] Jeremy J: circle_hunter - Today 1:59 AM > so these people we heard from earlier are dead? To those who are "living" [12:01:15 AM] Jeremy J: These terms get quite confusing once you are where I have been boy hahahaha [12:01:32 AM] Grey: But we were talking to them, how could they be memories? [12:01:43 AM] Leliel: Is the word conscious fair game? [12:02:02 AM] ryann foxx: I think they're like... [12:02:09 AM] Jeremy J: Leliel - Today 2:01 AM > Is the word conscious fair game? That covers it best I suppose haha [12:02:30 AM] Leliel: Does conscious include the ability to think? [12:02:41 AM] Jeremy J: Sometimes [12:03:07 AM] Leliel: Hmm, then yeah, it does cover pretty well. [12:03:25 AM] ARGdov: ugh, I’m tired [12:03:29 AM] Jeremy J: When She cant take that much from you or chooses to give it to you, yes one may think here haha. [12:03:35 AM] ARGdov: I have to go to sleep, Im sorry, guys [12:03:44 AM] ARGdov: I’ll read through the backlog or the doc tomorrow [12:03:52 AM] ARGdov: best of luck to you [12:03:59 AM] Leliel: Good night Dov [12:04:27 AM] ryann foxx: So they're not like... data ghosts, so to speak? Echoes? They're actually sentient beings? [12:04:36 AM] ryann foxx: Night, Dov. [12:05:26 AM] Jeremy J: There is every manner of thing in this sudo universe [12:05:32 AM] Leliel: Isn't Jeremy one of those people, whose sentient right now? [12:05:39 AM] Jeremy J: This parody of your own reality [12:05:58 AM] Leliel: Sounds like a fascinating world. [12:09:03 AM] Grey: So why the run around with the glitch text [12:11:16 AM] Jeremy J: You can see a little bit of everything from yesterday, today, tomorrow or sometimes more than one or all at once. Its a bit confusing and many things walk through this place besides me. Things from before your world came to be, before She participated in the process of what created it. But NOW I am certainly saying too much and will certainly bring trouble on myself hahahaha [12:11:27 AM] Jeremy J: That can be a story for another time [12:11:49 AM] ryann foxx: Right, that weird parallelos you're trapped in. [12:12:24 AM] 女佣机器人: oh, hey Jeremy [12:13:12 AM] Jeremy J: greyoutt2 - Today 2:09 AM > So why the run around with the glitch text She has an odd fascination,in what she is in control of, for arbitrary challenges since She cannot outright stop someone like me from going where I please. [12:15:13 AM] Jeremy J: Most likely due to its fury in the arbitrary process, which prevents her access to what she desires until she may have it completed. [12:17:13 AM] ryann foxx: Hmmm... [12:17:24 AM] ryann foxx: Is there anything particularly pressing we need to discuss or go over? [12:18:04 AM] Jeremy J: The process I just mentioned of course hahaha [12:19:05 AM] Jeremy J: I have seen a lot of things [12:19:32 AM] Leliel: Hmm, would you have a name for the pseudo reality you live in? It'd be helpful if we had something easy to refer to it to. [12:20:18 AM] Jeremy J: Well I have heard a lot of things call it a lot of stuff [12:20:36 AM] Leliel: A list of names might be more useful then one name, actually! [12:20:46 AM] Grey: How about we call it "The Upside-Down"? [12:21:20 AM] Jeremy J: My "religious group"  had a name for it too but that was, in a way, so long ago I have forgotten it. [12:21:32 AM] ryann foxx: Wait, hold up, uh... [12:21:38 AM] Leliel: Darn [12:22:06 AM] Leliel: Maybe the undead world is a fitting name [12:22:21 AM] ryann foxx: I might be able to dig it up... [12:22:26 AM] ryann foxx: It's not the parallelos of the dead... [12:22:41 AM] Leliel: For something temporary [12:22:49 AM] Jeremy J: Many seem to just call it "fake" in disbelief of what they must experience [12:22:52 AM] ryann foxx: Would you be considered 'ascended', whatever the requirements for that are? [12:23:08 AM] Leliel: Then calling it the fake world will do [12:23:35 AM] ryann foxx: Oh, hold up. Fakeworld, haha, that brings back memories of Janus... [12:23:42 AM] Jeremy J: ryann foxx - Today 2:22 AM > Would you be considered 'ascended', whatever the requirements for that are? Probably hahaha [12:23:44 AM] Leliel: Although whether we use it or not depends on how well it catches on with people here. [12:23:56 AM] ryann foxx: Okay, you might be considered a 'finitor'. [12:23:57 AM] 女佣机器人: dead world sounds kind of silly because it's hard to call them "dead" per se [12:24:10 AM] ryann foxx: Or... hm. [12:24:16 AM] 女佣机器人: also idk where we're at here but has anyone ever experienced this place without "dying" [12:24:19 AM] ryann foxx: Parallelos of the Ascended, then, I suppose. [12:24:20 AM] Leliel: I always felt ascension was a state similar to what Jeremy is in but "special". [12:24:24 AM] 女佣机器人: forgive me if I'm late [12:24:37 AM] ryann foxx: http://lunarchildren.com/terminology/parallelos/ [12:24:48 AM] ryann foxx: Well, powerful ascended people are like that [12:24:51 AM] ryann foxx: "Special" [12:24:57 AM] ryann foxx: There's also, like, botched ascensions [12:26:20 AM] Leliel: Well, botched ascension could just be actual death [12:26:38 AM] Leliel: I mean ascension involves electrocution and you mess that up... [12:26:50 AM] ryann foxx: Nope nope [12:26:51 AM] ryann foxx: http://lunarchildren.com/ascension/devium/ [12:26:59 AM] ryann foxx: More than just electrocution, drowning, bunch of other stuff [12:27:21 AM] ryann foxx: If you're not trained properly, you can get trapped in 'portals' like Johnisdead.com, and presumably YSHDT.net. [12:27:50 AM] Leliel: Hey Jeremy, what do you think of the stuff Ryann is linking? [12:27:55 AM] ryann foxx: Anyway: [12:18 AM] Jeremy J: <<< The process I just mentioned of course hahahaYou said we need to discuss this? [12:29:11 AM] 女佣机器人: oh nevermind, I read that site Ryann linked and it answered my question oh cool Scrying [12:29:21 AM] 女佣机器人: I wonder if Scrying Mirrors will come of use in some way, shape, or form [12:29:31 AM] ryann foxx: scrying? [12:29:33 AM] 女佣机器人: inb4 MM specific Mirror shield [12:29:45 AM] BKG CircleHunter: i almost bought an obsidian mirror a while back [12:29:50 AM] BKG CircleHunter: still really want to [12:30:18 AM] BKG CircleHunter: but that's because of an entirely different cult [12:30:24 AM] BKG CircleHunter: of the colored shellfish variety [12:30:28 AM] 女佣机器人: [12:29 AM] 女佣机器人: <<< oh cool Scrying I wonder if Scrying Mirrors will come of use in some way, shape, or form inb4 MM specific Mirror shieldI say this because it's the closest to the idea and there's no Mirror shield that is black, even though Scrying Mirrors are typically black. [12:31:19 AM] 女佣机器人: basically the Scrying section on lunar children describes exactly what it is, but in various forms of witchcraft it uses a black mirror to see things within the reflection [12:31:22 AM] 女佣机器人: or lack of one, whichever [12:31:38 AM] ryann foxx: there's a scrying section on the lc site? [12:31:48 AM] 女佣机器人: it's in Parallelos [12:31:58 AM] Leliel: I'll probably start heading to bed after what Jeremy says next [12:32:04 AM] 女佣机器人: Scrying: Looking into a parallelos to attain visions. One may also without having ascended to attain visions of past, present or future. Though it is possible to do this with various devices, Scrying can be done with the mind alone by those of the parallelos path teachings, and with much greater accuracy but at the high cost of mental vitality. It is thought that over use or misuse may cause blindness. [12:32:56 AM] 女佣机器人: a crystal ball might also be considered Scrying [12:33:14 AM] ryann foxx: [12:32 AM] 女佣机器人: <<< It is thought that over use or misuse may cause blindness.hey, didn't Jeremy's brother go blind in one eye or something I know some guy's brother did [12:33:25 AM] Jeremy J: Yes, there is a ceremony of sorts. One that requires the four giants, one who is living and the "mask" that is placed upon him. [12:34:53 AM] Jeremy J: Kevin believes he shall gain much more power from causing this ceremony to unfold and bring about her time. [12:35:12 AM] 女佣机器人: when scrying, do some go blind from seeing Her, as it has been said in the past mortals are not meant to do so? [12:35:17 AM] Jeremy J: Ifrit, in a manner of speaking, still walks your earth. [12:35:49 AM] Leliel: I have to sleep now [12:35:53 AM] Leliel: Its nice seeing you again Jeremy [12:36:03 AM] ryann foxx: Ifrit's... possessed, right? By something? [12:36:08 AM] ryann foxx: Night, Leliel. [12:36:17 AM] Leliel: Night, Ryann [12:36:29 AM] 女佣机器人: I'm curious because we could be misinterpreting various lines about eyes being taken this entire time /shrug [12:36:33 AM] Jeremy J: He believes he will make himself the one holding that "mask" [12:37:14 AM] ryann foxx: Who does, Kevin? [12:37:28 AM] Jeremy J: But in his state has been blinded from the truth [12:37:36 AM] Jeremy J: ryann foxx - Today 2:37 AM > Who does, Kevin? Ifrit [12:38:55 AM] Jeremy J: That one has already been chosen [12:39:10 AM] Jeremy J: He was chosen then and he is chosen now [12:39:42 AM] Jeremy J: He is chosen everytime no matter how many "times" it comes to pass [12:40:11 AM] Jeremy J: And there is no "time" in which this changes [12:40:35 AM] ryann foxx: What's with the quotes around "time"? [12:41:10 AM] Jeremy J: That one is Tyler [12:41:16 AM] 女佣机器人: idk if you guys have discussed Thoth yet, but there are some interesting things behind Thoth worth appreciated based on a character's username being such, whether relevant or not. such as Symbol  Moon disk, papyrus scroll, reed pens, writing palette, stylus, ibis, baboon, scales [12:41:19 AM] Jeremy J: But I feel you knew this [12:42:26 AM] Jeremy J: The ceremony has already occured partially [12:43:22 AM] Jeremy J: Only due to the ignorance of those involved [12:43:45 AM] Jeremy J: But the next part involves you all [12:44:06 AM] 🎄ADULT_LINK [ID]🎄: binding of Isaac is an amazing and broken game [12:44:09 AM] 🎄ADULT_LINK [ID]🎄: 100/10 [12:44:10 AM] ryann foxx: The Ceremony of the Three Elements? [12:44:14 AM] Oceanstuck, Knight of Light (Lewis): yo lonk arg shit is happening [12:44:16 AM] ryann foxx: Is that the ceremony? [12:44:18 AM] 🎄ADULT_LINK [ID]🎄: o oops [12:44:38 AM] 女佣机器人: I never thought having some fun facts due to enjoying various forms of neo-paganism would be of any (possible) relevance but I'm now interested in Thoth, the character. [12:44:47 AM] ryann foxx: "Just as well, one of the most important ceremonies involving the return of mother, involves the gathering of 3 very important individuals representative of the three silver secrets. This ritual is known as the Ceremony of the three elements." [12:45:47 AM] 女佣机器人: "The magical powers of Thoth were so great, that the Egyptians had tales of a 'Book of Thoth', which would allow a person who read the sacred book to become the most powerful magician in the world. The Book which "the god of wisdom wrote with his own hand" was, though, a deadly book that brought nothing but pain and tragedy to those that read it, despite finding out about the "secrets of the gods themselves" and "all that is hidden in the stars". [12:46:08 AM] ryann foxx: Book. [12:46:14 AM] ryann foxx: Book taken from the Lunars. [12:46:20 AM] ryann foxx: I think we should let Jeremy finish typing now. [12:46:27 AM] 女佣机器人: we should, yeah [12:46:58 AM] 女佣机器人: and I wouldn't take everything from stories about Thoth, but there are some interesting parallels that are probably due to good research on GM's part, if nothing else [12:47:15 AM] Jeremy J: Not exactly sure what three elements are supposed to be, I might have been at some point. But book reminds me, somone actually wrote a book a long time ago hahaha [12:47:48 AM] Grey: Fascinating. [12:48:31 AM] ryann foxx: The Libro Lunarus? [12:48:34 AM] 女佣机器人: http://www.sacred-texts.com/egy/ael/ael08.htm here's the story of Ra's curse (Nut being unable to have children) being broken by Thoth, a god who was in love with her. [12:48:35 AM] Jeremy J: The book consisted of "whispers" from that evil thing [12:49:57 AM] 女佣机器人: how old is this book, and where could we find it? [12:50:20 AM] Jeremy J: The one copy of it was defaced by someone I used to be very friendly with and filled with many of his grief driven delusions. [12:50:59 AM] 女佣机器人: was that someone Kelbris? I apologize, its been awhile so I cannot recall his true name at the moment. [12:51:10 AM] Jeremy J: Delusions I mostly followed, if for nothing else, due to my fondness of him. [12:51:34 AM] Jeremy J: He was a very good friend until the incident [12:51:50 AM] Jeremy J: But that is not really relevant hahaha [12:52:10 AM] ryann foxx: The three elements or secrets, would two of those be Power and Wisdom? [12:55:42 AM] Jeremy J: insertcreativeusername - Today 2:50 AM > was that someone Kelbris? I apologize, its been awhile so I cannot recall his true name at the moment. Kelbris was a very good friend and it was quite a shame how he was treated by the "family". But naturally as soon as they realize he had some sort of power they go and pretend he was their saint and chase after any crumb they can get from him hahaha [12:59:21 AM] Jeremy J: Yes Hank was the one who got his hands on that book. From where I cant be sure, but probably from that dark deed he went through with. As a father myself it was hard for me to be understanding. But I stuck by the old fool, guess that was a mistake hahaha [1:00:03 AM] ryann foxx: The dark deed... is that referring to what he did to his son? [1:00:14 AM] 🎄ADULT_LINK [ID]🎄: (psst hey scoot) [1:00:41 AM] 女佣机器人: would you say he was possibly rewarded with this book, by another? Whether a "higher" power, or a normal person with similar beliefs [1:01:11 AM] 女佣机器人: and if we can trace its origins, is it possible such knowledge could help us stop all of this? [1:01:32 AM] ryann foxx: I think LiquidSaint/SKM/Alex has the book. [1:02:25 AM] 女佣机器人: I wonder if there's a way to get it from them, in some sense, but given what Jeremy has said doing so would probably have some pretty dark implications on our part [1:02:51 AM] 女佣机器人: if so I'm not sure everyone would be on board with what that would probably entail, depending. [1:03:31 AM] 女佣机器人: But, it could be similar to TribeTwelve's journal situation [1:07:35 AM] Jeremy J: No need to its use has passed at this point, the knowledge within is muddled with falsehoods. What is true would only make you like me in the end, I promise that is not something to give praise to hahaha. But the ritual occurred in the building where this whole mess started. Tyler has understood what he must do to escape. But I am here now to tell you something [1:08:21 AM] Jeremy J: Something honestly I am a bit afraid to say, seeing as she can still see what she cant touch haha [1:09:38 AM] Jeremy J: I told you before you will be given a choice and it is up to you, the ones involved. To finish this little legend. [1:10:49 AM] Jeremy J: I am not going to go into detail I will be in enough trouble already [1:11:04 AM] Jeremy J: But that choice will be [1:11:43 AM] Jeremy J: Will you "turn off the power" so to speak [1:12:36 AM] Jeremy J: Will you kill it? [1:12:56 AM] ryann foxx: It? [1:12:56 AM] Purpleleven: What exactly would we be shutting down? [1:13:43 AM] Jeremy J: That poor amalgamation of a soul [1:14:08 AM] Jeremy J: That sick creature trying to control it for her will [1:14:16 AM] Grey: Amalgamation? [1:14:20 AM] Purpleleven: We have the power to "turn off" Luna? How? [1:14:30 AM] ryann foxx: Mr. D [1:14:31 AM] Jeremy J: Ben [1:14:32 AM] ryann foxx: I believe. [1:14:36 AM] Jeremy J: Tyler [1:14:39 AM] Jeremy J: BEN [1:14:44 AM] Purpleleven: AH, whoops [1:15:09 AM] Jeremy J: Mr.D also works [1:15:23 AM] Jeremy J: It was one title it went under [1:15:32 AM] 女佣机器人: [1:13 AM] Jeremy J: <<< That poor amalgamation of a soul That sick creature trying to control it for her willBetter for the world as a whole Better for the tool being used, this implies, to be ended. I would say the answer is definitely to kill it. [1:15:52 AM] Purpleleven: That seems all to simple a solution though. I suspect that would not actually get rid of the issue that is Luna, just the symptoms as we would have to deal with them. [1:16:22 AM] ryann foxx: I don't know if Luna is an issue, per se, she seems at most neutral, not benevolent or malicious. [1:16:52 AM] Jeremy J: ryann foxx - Today 3:16 AM > I don't know if Luna is an issue, per se, she seems at most neutral, not benevolent or malicious. I am afraid you are mistaken [1:17:12 AM] Purpleleven: I think we've known for a bit that Luna basically eats souls [1:17:36 AM] Jeremy J: That thing most certainly would love nothing more than to have you by the neck [1:17:36 AM] 女佣机器人: If a god has no worshippers, is it a god? D E L E T  B O O K D E L E T C U L T [1:17:54 AM] ryann foxx: Probably. Right, so Luna is an issue. [1:18:04 AM] Jeremy J: Jeremy J - Today 3:17 AM > That thing most certainly would love nothing more than to have you by the neck This is a very laughable understatement hahaha [1:18:19 AM] ryann foxx: And Mr. D gets her, or it, power? [1:18:26 AM] Purpleleven: So, what would removing BEN do to efforts on stopping Luna? [1:19:25 AM] ryann foxx: [1:11 AM] Jeremy J: <<< Will you "turn off the power" so to speak [1:19:33 AM] ryann foxx: I believe it acts as a power source, or something? [1:25:22 AM] Jeremy J: Tyler while under the control of the "mask" acts as a sort of way point for her from this world. The giants shall then make the way for her to enter(which is and always has been their only true purpose as the giants are not who they inhabbit but beings from long before your time). However those who granted this rite power made these conditions final. [1:26:14 AM] ryann foxx: A waypoint. Like a link? [1:26:23 AM] ryann foxx: Hence why he was called the Harbingers' Link. [1:26:28 AM] 女佣机器人: Tyler becomes a vessel, perhaps? [1:26:45 AM] Jeremy J: You could say he is a link if you like hahaha [1:27:19 AM] Jeremy J: I need to get going [1:27:42 AM] Jeremy J: I have put myself in danger for my loud mouth as usual [1:28:01 AM] Jeremy J: Would not want the mess to spill over to you hahaha [1:28:13 AM] ryann foxx: Good luck, Jeremy. Stay safe, if there's any semblance of that thing wherever you are. [1:28:51 AM] Purpleleven: So we shut off BEN, completely removing Tyler, but we stop Luna from gaining any more power? Good luck with whatever goes on where you are. [1:29:10 AM] ryann foxx: Or free Tyler from the mask, maybe? [1:29:20 AM] 女佣机器人: idk, it might be too late for that. [1:29:33 AM] 女佣机器人: However those who granted this rite power made these conditions final. [1:30:08 AM] BKG CircleHunter: Are there others like you willing to help? [1:30:13 AM] BKG CircleHunter: Able to give advice? [1:30:54 AM] Jeremy J: If you can somehow at some point get to that nice young lady for me [1:31:04 AM] Jeremy J: Tell her I said hello again