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chobit92 · 4 years

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Home: Jacob Seed/OC Chapter 40

Sorry it has taken me so long to update this. Hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Sex, Swearing, Drug use, Alcoholism, Pregnancy, Attempted suicide.

(1 Week Later: John, Joseph and Faith are in the kitchen at John’s ranch. They are all cooking together for Sunday dinner.). John: Is Mara coming? Faith: I think so. She said she was. John: I didn’t see her at the sermon. Faith: She overslept. She said she was tired. John: Tired? Do I need to mark her with Sloth now too? Faith: No silly. She has been doing so much around the compound and for me and Lexi. I think we can forgive her for being a bit exhausted. John: Hm. (Akers enters the kitchen.). Akers: Mara’s here. Faith: Oh. (Faith goes to the lounge. Mara is sitting on the sofa. Jacob is sitting in the armchair flicking through one of John’s books.). Faith: Sis! (Faith rushes over and hugs her.). Mara: Hey. Faith: Are you okay? Mara: Yeah. Great. (She’s wearing black leggings and her long baggy black top that hangs off her shoulder. She is also wearing a large grey cardigan that has been knitted for her by Evelyn. Mara doesn’t mind that it’s too big as it hides her body. Not that she has much to hide right now. But she soon will. She curls up on the sofa and rests her head on her arm.). Faith: Are you still tired? Mara: I’m exhausted sis. Faith: Have you still been struggling to sleep? Mara: Nope. I seem to be sleeping a lot. Faith: Hm. Maybe you should see the doctor. Mara: Let’s not. Faith: Sis there is something wrong with you. We’ve all noticed you know? Mara: Noticed what?

(Mara’s heart starts to race. She is aware of Jacob sitting there looking at them from over the top of the book.). Faith: You’ve been sleeping in for one. You don’t usually. You’ve also been eating more at breakfast then at dinner you don’t want anything. Mara: What are you talking about? You’re doing my fucking head in sis! I think there’s something wrong with you! (Mara gets up and leaves slamming the front door behind her. Faith looks confused.). Faith: I don’t understand. Why is she mad at me? Jacob: I don’t know. (John walks in.). John: Who keeps slamming my door? Faith: That would be my sister. She’s in a mood again. John: Want me to talk to her? Faith: Would you? John: Of course. (John leaves the chalet. He looks around as he walks around the grounds. He sees Mara over by the shed sitting on one of the sun loungers. He goes over to her and sits down on the other one. She is smoking a cigarette.). John: Now where did you get that from? Mara: Lonny. John: Really? Mara: Yep. I caught him drinking whiskey and I told him that I’d keep my mouth shut if he gave me some smokes. John: I see. So he’s still drinking? Mara: Everybody’s addicted to something. Everyone needs something. John: Hm. Why are you angry with your sister? Mara: I’m not. She just keeps banging on asking what’s wrong with me. There is nothing wrong with me I’m just tired. It annoys me when people keep asking the same fucking question. ‘Are you okay?’ ‘Are you okay?’ Uh it does my head in. (He chuckles.). John: Little Miss Wrath. Mara: You make it sound cute when you say it like that. John: It is cute. Like you. (He smiles at her. She smiles back.). Mara: Really? Thanks I guess. (There is silence for a moment. Mara thinks about telling John. He is the one who everyone confesses to after all. He listens to all. But would he understand? Would he help her? Would he look after her? She also wonders if Joseph would look after her. Because she knows Jacob isn’t going to. Suddenly she has tears rolling down her cheeks before she can stop them. John looks at her frowning before reaching over and taking hold of her hand.). John: Hey. What’s wrong? Mara: Nothing. John: Tell me. (She pulls her hand away from his and wipes her eyes.). Mara: Okay. But you have to promise not to laugh. John: I promise. Mara: You won’t laugh? John: I won’t laugh. Mara: It’s...That time of the month. I’ve got it really bad this time. They’re sometimes like that. That’s why I’ve been so tired this past week and I’ve been moody and hormonal and snapping at everyone like an alligator. Then randomly I just find myself crying over nothing like a complete mad woman. (John chuckles. She smacks him playfully.). Mara: You promised not to laugh you dickhead. (But she is laughing too. He chuckles.). Mara: You know what would help? (She smiles at him and takes hold of his hand again. He raises his eyebrows and grins.). John: Oh? Mara: Nothing like that you saucy git. (He chuckles.). John: How do you know I was thinking about something saucy? Mara: Because I know you. You are insatiable Jonny Appleseed. (He glares at her.). Mara: No don’t be like that I told you that’s your nickname now. Like mine is Little Miss Wrath. It’s our little thing now. John: Is it? Mara: Yep. (She squeezes his hand. He smiles and raises their hands to his lips pressing a soft kiss to the back of her hand.). Mara: What are you doing? John: Kissing your hand. Like a true gent. Which I am obviously. (She laughs. He grins like a child.). Mara: Oh I love you. (She laughs again. He raises his eyebrows.). John: What was that now? Mara: No. Nothing. John: You just told me that you loved me. Mara: No. No I didn’t. I said no such thing. (He leans over placing his lips close to her ear.). John: Yes you did. You loooove me. (She giggles.). Mara: It’s my hormones you see. John: Oh yeah? Mara: Yeah it is. Honest. John: Um. (Their lips are inches apart now. His eyes travel down to her lips then back up again.). Mara: You gonna try and kiss me again? Coz you remember what happened last time. John: Um. It was worth it though. To feel the softness of those beautiful lips. (Mara’s heart clenches tight and she feels a flutter in her abdomen. She wishes that Jacob could be like that. Showering her in compliments and holding her hand like John is. Though last time she spent the night with Jacob he did call her beautiful.). Mara: Uh huh. John: But I am dangerously close to sinning now and I must stop myself before I go too far. (He moves away from her and lets go of her hand.). John: So what was it that would help you with your awful menstrual cycle. (She laughs.). Mara: The way you said that. Most people call them periods you know? I could go into detail if you like. John: Oh? (He chuckles.). John: I think I know how it works. Mara: Well I was just thinking that after dinner and after the others have gone I could use your bathroom coz you have a proper bathtub and I haven’t had a proper bath in ages. I could have a nice hot bath which would help with the cramps and this constant feeling of being filthy that I have. I could also get a very good night’s sleep in that cosy spare room of yours. I usually sleep in a barn with a wall missing and five other people two of which snore loudly. Stop me if I’m being cheeky or taking the piss. John: Hm. You want to stay here the night and have a nice hot bath? Mara: That...Would be nice. Look forget I asked okay? It’s fine. (She throws the cigarette butt on the ground and gets up. He gets up and grabs her arm.). John: Hey. You can stay. Just as long as you don’t leave cigarette butts all over my lovely garden. Mara: Thanks. (She bends down and picks up the cigarette butt. John stares at her ass. Damn.). Mara: I’ll put it in the bin. Promise. (She smiles then wraps her arms around him.). Mara: I do love you, you know? You’re a good friend. John: Thank you. (She laughs.). Mara: You’re meant to say love you too. Dickhead. (She laughs and smacks him playfully. He grins.). John: Love you too dickhead. (She laughs harder. He chuckles. They go back inside and Mara goes to the kitchen putting her cigarette butt in the bin. She goes over to Faith and wraps her arms around her. She whispers in her ear.). Mara: I’m sorry I got all stressed out with you sis. I’ve got my monthly and it’s bad this time. It’s made me feel really ill and I’ve been moody and snappy and not feeling like eating and I’ve felt all hormonal and the slightest thing makes me cry seriously. I feel like a mad woman. I’m sorry sis. Faith: Why didn’t you just tell me that? Mara: Coz I’m an idiot and hormonal and snappy like an alligator. I just told John all about it and he didn’t even seem embarrassed you know? I couldn’t imagine explaining to Joe why I’m hormonal and moody. (Faith laughs.). Faith: Sis you do make me laugh. (Mara laughs.). Mara: Glad to be of assistance. Faith: You can start chopping the vegetables if you like. Mara: Oh yes let the raging hormonal moody cow use a knife. (Faith giggles. Mara smiles and starts chopping the vegetables. Joseph suddenly stands up from the table and goes over to Mara.). Mara: Joe seriously how long have you been sat there and why didn’t I see you? Wizard see? He’s got an invisibility cloak like Harry Potter. Faith: What? (Faith is giggling.). Mara: Joe’s a wizard. Joseph: I am not a wizard. Mara: You are. Just accept it Joe. (She smiles at him. He is wearing a white shirt with a black waistcoat.). Mara: I like that waistcoat by the way. It suits you. Joseph: Thank you. Are you unhappy Mara? Mara: What do you mean? Joseph: You seem to be unhappy I just wondered why that was. Mara: It’s...Hormones. Really not something a young girl speaks to her father about. (Faith giggles again.). Faith: Oh sis stop it! You’re making me spill water everywhere. Mara: Don’t be so clumsy then. Joseph: I see. Hormones. Mara: Yes us women are forever cursed with this thing called a period Joe. Gods way of taking the piss out of us women I’m sure. It makes us snappy, moody, hormonal and we feel like crying one minute and screaming the next. Joseph: I see. (Joseph decides to ignore the way she spoke about the lord. He really has no clue what to say to that anyway.). Faith: Lexi says that they are your bodies way of reminding you to hurry up and get pregnant. (Mara freezes.). Mara: What? Hurry up and get pregnant? Oh I see coz we’re women we have to pop out a few kids do we? Damn it’s like we don’t even get a fucking choice anymore. Faith: What are you on about now? Mara: Well don’t you ever feel like that sis? That being a woman is bloody hard in today’s society. Apparently we’re lower than the men, weaker than them and are only good for popping out kids. Makes me wish I hadn’t been born sometimes. Or that I’d been born a boy. (Faith is looking at Mara with a funny face.). Faith: Just ignore her Father. Hormones. (Mara giggles.). Mara: What it’s true. That’s how I feel. That because I am unfortunate enough to be a woman that means I have to have kids. Faith: You don’t have to have kids sis. Mara: Too right I fucking don’t. I won’t either. I’d need to find a man that wanted me first. (Mara laughs, Faith giggles and shakes her head.). Faith: Ah sis you are so strange and random. Mara: Oh thanks. Hear that Joe? I’m strange now. John: What on earth did you have in that cigarette Mara? (John has appeared in the doorway.). Mara: It must run in the family this wizardry. (John frowns.). John: What? Mara: The way you and your brothers just seem to appear out of nowhere. I think Joe is a wizard. (John laughs.). John: Seriously what was in that cigarette? Faith: You’re smoking again? Mara: What do you mean again sis? I never stopped smoking I just ran out of smokes. Faith: Where did you get them from? Mara: Lonny. Faith: Lonny gave you cigarettes? Mara: Yep. I caught him with whiskey so I said I’d keep my mouth shut if he gave me his smokes and he did. Though I haven’t kept my mouth shut so I am a tell tale and a liar. I’m doing so well today aren’t I? John: You were right to tell me about Lonny’s continued drinking. It must be addressed. Joseph: He continues to disappoint himself and the rest of us. Mara: Look I know he can be a dickhead but go easy on him okay? I know how hard it can be to change. How hard it can be to let go. I smoke coz it’s something to do and something to keep me sane. I think that I need a cigarette when really it’s just the addiction to the nicotine talking. Like Lonny with the booze. It’s really hard to quit something when you’ve depended on it and been addicted to it so long you know? John: Yes. It is. (Mara finishes chopping the vegetables and puts them in the pot.). Faith: Thanks sis. (Mara boils the kettle and makes herself a tea. She usually likes coffee but lately it’s been making her want to gag. She suddenly can’t stand the smell or the taste of coffee.). Mara: Anyone else having a hot drink? John: I’ll have coffee. Joseph: Tea will be fine. Mara: No sugar right Joe? Coz you’re sweet enough? Joseph: Yes. John: Are you trying to flirt with my brother Mara? (Faith tuts.). Mara: No. It’s just something people say innit? (Mara makes the drinks trying her best not to inhale the scent of coffee. She then picks up her tea and goes to the lounge. Jacob is still sat flicking through the book. He is sitting on the sofa now though. She sits down next to him and watches as he scratches at his chin. She sees a rash there.). Mara: Scratching it will make it worse you know? (He grunts.). Mara: You need some Sudocreme. Jacob: Don’t need nothing. Mara: Stubborn. What are you reading? Jacob: You can read can’t you? (He shows her the cover. She feels her cheeks turning red. She smiles.). Mara: Alright. You be all moody. Jacob: Hm. This coming from you. You’ve been in a mood since you got here. (She looks at the floor. She really wants to tell him. Maybe she should do it now. He can’t get mad and beat her if his brothers are here can he? If her sister is here? They wouldn’t allow it would they? Who is she kidding? Like that would matter to Jacob. Maybe she has him all wrong. Maybe if she simply tells him, if she simply talks to the guy he’d be alright with it. Maybe he’d accept it. Or maybe he’d just tell her he didn’t want nothing to do with it and that would be that. Maybe he wouldn’t get all mad and violent like she thinks he would.). Jacob: What’s up with you? You’ve gone really pale. Mara: I’m fine. Jacob: You’re a terrible liar. (Tell him. Just fucking tell him. But she’s so fucking scared.). Mara: I’m scared. (Jacob blinks at her.). Jacob: Fear is a weakness. Mara: You don’t understand. (Tell him! Just tell him now is your chance.). Mara: Jacob...I’m- (Joseph and John walk in. John is laughing.). John: Faith wants you to lay the table Mara. Mara: Yeah...Sure. (Jacob frowns staring at Mara. She looks so sad and defeated all of a sudden. Mara gets up and goes to the kitchen. She returns with cutlery and plates which she starts setting out on the table. Jacob gets up and puts the book back on the shelf where he found it and watches Mara lay the table. He watches as she wipes a tear from her eye. He frowns. She then straightens up and turns pulling the large grey cardigan around her. She smiles at him. John walks over.). John: That’s my best cutlery. We are not using my best cutlery for a Sunday dinner. Mara: Then when are we meant to use it? John: You’re not. Mara: Then what’s the point in it? John: That is a three thousand dollar cutlery set. Mara: What? Well they saw you coming didn’t they? I reckon you’ve been had. John: No I have not been had. Joseph: That’s enough John. They are only knives and forks. John: Yes Joseph. (John returns to the kitchen.). Mara: It’s so sad that he thinks he has to have all this expensive stuff to make himself happy. He thinks he has to always be better because he isn’t good enough and yet he is just fine the way he is. (Joseph regards Mara before smiling slightly.). Mara: What? Did I say something wrong? I’d just ignore me Joe I’m probably chatting a load of shit with all these hormones I’ve got raging away in me. Joseph: No. You said it just about right actually. Mara: Oh? Well that’s a first for me. (Faith comes in holding plates of food. John follows her and they both put plates on the table filled with meat, vegetables, potatoes and Yorkshire puddings. Faith then brings in a dish filled with stuffing. Once the table is set John brings in a jug of water. Mara finishes her tea and takes her mug to the kitchen. When she returns the others have sat down at the table. Faith has moved some of the plates and cutlery around. Joseph sits at the head of the table. Jacob sits to his right, John to his left. Faith sits next to John. She indicates the chair next to Jacob and Mara sits down next to him. Joseph then takes his brothers hands. Faith holds John’s hand then reaches over the table and takes Mara’s hand. Jacob places his hand on the table palm up and Mara places her hand on his. Joseph then says grace and they start to eat. Faith keeps glancing at Mara. She frowns as she watches Mara put stuffing inside her Yorkshire pudding then dip it in mince sauce before eating it. Mara sees Faith looking at her funny.). Mara: What? Faith: Nothing. Was that actually nice? Mara: What? Faith: The Yorkshire pudding, stuffing, mince sauce sandwich. Mara: Yep. (Faith then watches as Mara dips just about everything in the mince sauce before eating it including her carrots and potatoes.). Faith: You like mince sauce don’t you sis? (Mara shrugs. Once they have finished eating Faith takes the plates and cutlery to the kitchen. She returns with a strawberry cake and some ice cream.). John: What’s this? Faith: Dessert. John: We never have dessert. Faith: I learned how to bake. I’ve been practising so I thought I would make something as a treat. John: Hm. (Faith cuts the cake and places a slice on each of the small plates. Mara has never really liked cake. The look of it now makes her feel sick. Then she wishes that she had some mint ice cream instead of the vanilla that Faith has got. She suddenly really wants mint ice cream. She suddenly feels light headed and she really needs to pee. She constantly feels like she needs to pee lately. She sighs.). Mara: Excuse me. (She gets up and leaves the room going upstairs to the bathroom. She uses the loo then washes her hands. She then splashes water on her face before drying it with the towel. She sighs and stands in front of the mirror staring at herself. She has no idea what to do. She has thought about leaving. Disappearing. But that would mean abandoning her sister. She can’t do that. She lets out a sob and lifts her top staring at her stomach. She then stands side on. She looks bloated. Her breasts are falling out of the top of the bra. Her bras are all too small now. They were a little small on her to start with as they were Franky’s old bras. Her breasts are killing her. It doesn’t help that her bra is now cutting into her skin. She decides to just take her bra off. As soon as she does she lets out a small sigh of relief. That feels so much better. She drapes her bra over the towel rail before going back downstairs. She gets herself a glass of water and returns to the dining table. She sits back down next to Jacob.). Faith: Are you alright sis? Mara: I’m fine. Faith: I know you don’t like cake which is why I got the ice cream. Mara: Thanks sis. (Mara eats two small scoops of ice cream.). Joseph: Thank you for a lovely meal Faith. John: Thank you Faith. Mara: Thanks sis. (Jacob grunts and gets up leaving the room. Mara hears his thudding footsteps going upstairs.). Mara: Do you want me to help you with the washing up sis? Faith: Yes. Mara: I think John should help too though. Seeing as it’s his precious cutlery. (John glares at Mara.). Mara: What? This is your house so you should help with the washing up. Come on we’ll all do it it’ll be fun. (Mara gets up and picks up the plates and spoons taking them to the kitchen. Faith grabs the rest and joins her. John sighs before going to the kitchen. Mara fills the sink and grabs the sponge. Once the sink is full Mara dips her hand in it and splashes John.). John: Hey! (Faith giggles. Mara smiles. John steps forward. He grabs Mara and shoves her into the side. She cries out and grabs her stomach. Faith frowns.). Faith: Sis are you okay? You don’t need to be so rough John she was only messing around. John: So was I. I hardly touched her. Mara: I’m okay. Just...Be careful. (Faith frowns.). Faith: Sis are you hurt? Mara: What? No. I would have been the way he was shoving me into the counter. John: I hardly touched you. (Mara glares at him before splashing him with water again. She laughs before reaching up and spiking some of his hair up.). John: Hey! Off the hair! Mara: But it looks so good like that don’t it sis? Faith: I don’t know. Mara: Oh come on. (Faith giggles.). Mara: Spiky hair. (Jacob comes down the stairs to see John with his arms around Mara pushing her against the counter. She is giggling and messing with his hair. John starts laughing as Mara starts tickling him. Poking him in the ribs.). John: No. Stop. Stop it! (John laughs harder. Jacob has never seen his brother laugh like that. He feels weird though. Seeing John with his hands on Mara makes him feel weird. He has no idea why, it makes no logical sense to him. He isn’t interested in her. She was just a fuck. So why does he feel weird? Jacob clears his throat. John turns to him.). Mara: Jakey Baby. (John raises his eyebrows.). John: Jakey baby? How come he gets a nickname like that and I get...Johnny Appleseed? (Faith laughs. Mara smiles.). Mara: Coz he’s better looking than you. Faith: Oh! John: What? What? I don’t think so. Mara: I do. John: What has Jacob done to you? You can tell me. Did he pay you to say that? Did he threaten you? Mara: Jacob threaten me? (She laughs.). Mara: I’d like to see that. John: Oh. Brother she is asking for it. (Mara smiles at Jacob. His lips twitch slightly. Mara then turns back to the sink and starts washing up. A minute later she splashes John with water again.). John: Hey! I won’t let you stay. Mara: Oh. You want me to stay. John: I won’t let you if you keep ruining my clothes. Mara: What? They’re not ruined. It’s only water. You need more chill John. (Faith giggles. Mara continues washing up. Suddenly John walks up behind Mara and dunks her head in the sink. Faith gasps.). Faith: John! (John chuckles and lets go of Mara who straightens up coughing. She wipes her face on the tea towel then turns to John.). Mara: Dickhead! (John laughs harder. Mara finds herself laughing too. Jacob chuckles and shakes his head. Faith giggles. Joseph enters the kitchen and John immediately stops laughing.). Joseph: What is all the ruckus? Mara: We were just having a water fight. Well not really a fight. I kept splashing John with water and he got all annoyed so he dunked my head in the sink. John: Washing away some more of those sins. (Mara laughs before continuing to wash up while Faith dries. Jacob makes himself a cup of coffee. He feels weird again at the thought of Mara staying here with John. He can’t describe the feeling nor does he know what it means. He doesn’t even care about her. At all. So why would he be bothered? He feels someone poke him and turns to see Mara gazing up at him.). Mara: You okay handsome? (Jacob grunts and picks up his coffee before returning to the lounge. Mara shrugs and finishes washing up before drying her hands. Joseph walks over to Mara and lightly touches her arm. His fingers soft and gentle against her skin.). Mara: Why are you feeling me up? Faith: Sis! Mara: What? (Mara pulls away from him and Joseph sees how uncomfortable she is.). Joseph: Can we talk? Mara: If you like. Joseph: Outside. Mara: Okay. (Mara goes outside with Joseph following her. She takes a cigarette out of the pocket of her cardigan and lights it. Joseph regards her sternly.). Joseph: You should quit that awful habit. Mara: Um. Should. But I won’t coz I’m me. Lonny should quit drinking. But he won’t. That’s people for you Joe. Always doing shit that’s no good for us. (She walks across the grass then sits down on the ground cross legged. He does the same sitting opposite her.). Joseph: Put the cigarette out my child. Mara: You gonna spank me if I don’t? (He grits his teeth.). Joseph: There is always attitude with you. Mara: No there isn’t. That’s just how you see it Joe. It was a joke. Jeez you have no sense of humour. (She sighs.). Mara: Everyone is so serious. Joseph: The collapse isn’t a joke. We must prepare not waste time fooling around. Mara: But if you don’t have a laugh you’ll end up going mad. Everyone needs to crack a joke now and then. Everyone needs to laugh too it’s good for you. Maybe that’s why you and your brothers have such sad eyes. All you’ve had is drama and rubbish. You need fun and laughter for a change. Joseph: I have a purpose as do we all. The lords will must be done and those that can be saved must be saved. Mara: I’m sure the lord would understand if you took some time for yourself. To relax. After all I do think it slightly cheeky of him to ask this of you in the first place. I mean it isn’t exactly fair to ask one man to save the world not really. If God wants it saved so badly why doesn’t he help? Because he just doesn’t care not really. Joseph: You are not a believer? Mara: Not in God. I mean okay he exists but I don’t believe in him. I think the only person you can truly believe in is yourself. Coz everyone else just lets you down. Joseph: That is why we have faith. Mara: Must be nice. To be so sure of everything. To be sure everything will work out. (She takes another drag of the cigarette.). Joseph: It will. You will see. Mara: What is it you wanted to talk about anyway? Joseph: I wanted to talk about you. Mara: Me? Why? I think I’d bore you pretty fast Joe. (She smiles. He gazes at her and she feels like he is reading her mind again. She wonders if she should just tell him now while they are alone.). Joseph: I find you interesting. Mara: Really? No one’s ever interested in me. Joseph: Faith told me that you showed true faith. Mara: I did what? Joseph: You took the leap of faith. Mara: You mean when she drugged me again? Joseph: The Bliss is useful. Mara: It’s drugs. All drugs do is destroy. You lecture me on cigarettes and booze yet you want me doped up on some hallucinogenic? Joseph: Attitude. Mara: I’m just saying it like it is Joe. I don’t understand how you can have a problem with me smoking but not have a problem with drugs. Joseph: The Bliss is useful. It is more than just a drug. It is a path to the garden. It soothes those that are afraid. That are unsure. Mara: Ah you mean brainwashing now. Joseph: No. Merely making them see. Mara: Yeah well I’d rather not use it if it’s all the same to you. It just makes me very ill for days on end. Joseph: It effects everyone differently. Though I was pleased to hear that you showed faith in me. Mara: Should I have faith in you? Joseph: Yes. Mara: Can I trust you to look after me? Or are you just going to abandon me like all the others? Joseph: A father does not abandon his children. (She finds herself looking at the tattoo on his arm. It is of a pretty dark haired woman. She slowly reaches out and lifts his arm turning it slightly to see the tattoo better.). Joseph: She’s beautiful isn’t she? (Mara pulls her hand away. She wonders if a man would ever talk about her like that. What it would feel like if they did.). Joseph: She was my wife. (Whoa! She never would have guessed that this guy was married. This surprises her.). Mara: Did she leave you? Joseph: She died. In a car accident. Mara: Sorry. Has Jacob ever been married? (The question is out of her mouth before she can think. Joseph looks a little surprised.). Joseph: No. He hasn’t. Mara: Hm. He isn’t really the social type. Joseph: Jacob brought many demons home with him from the war. Mara: He told me. About some of it. Joseph: He did? Mara: Yeah. (She stares at the floor as she finishes the cigarette before putting it out in the grass.). Joseph: I am surprised he told you anything. He is usually a private person. Quiet. Mara: Very guarded you mean? Yeah I got that from him. He doesn’t do emotions either. It’s like he has no feelings for anyone or anything. The word nihilist comes to mind when I think about Jacob. I think he only told me stuff coz he was...Never mind. Joseph: What? Mara: Nothing. Joseph: Was he drunk by any chance? (She smiles at him.). Mara: See? You can read minds Joe. Wizard. (His lips twitch.). Joseph: I just know my brother. Mara: There’s nothing wrong with alcohol as long as you don’t drink too much too often. Otherwise it becomes a problem. Joseph: It should not be drunk at all. (She shrugs.). Joseph: Have you read my bible yet? (She is silent.). Mara: Not yet. Joseph: I am disappointed in you my child. Mara: Told you so. (He frowns.). Mara: What? I told you that I’m no good at anything. That I’m useless. That you wouldn’t want me. That it wouldn’t be long before you got rid of me. You didn’t listen. Joseph: Because that isn’t true my child. You just don’t help yourself. You must read it. You must understand. You must know your purpose. I fear that you won’t be saved if you continue to ignore what is coming. Mara: I’m not ignoring it. (She gets up.). Mara: Nice talk. (She walks off heading back to the chalet. Joseph sighs and follows her. Everyone is sitting in the lounge. Mara sits in the armchair. Joseph goes upstairs to use the bathroom. As he is leaving he notices the black lacy bra hanging on the towel rail. He frowns staring at it. Then he feels the familiar disappointment creep through him. John. He sighs and picks up the bra before returning downstairs. John is sitting with his arm draped around Mara and they are laughing together.). Mara: No seriously that’s how it goes! John: I don’t believe you. Mara: It does. (Faith giggles.). Joseph: John? John: Yes Joseph? (Joseph holds up the bra. Mara stares at it and she feels her cheeks turning red.). Joseph: Who’s is this? (John frowns looking confused.). John: I don’t know. Joseph: Is it Holly’s? John: Holly’s? Why would it be hers? Joseph: I know you have spent quite a few nights with her I am not blind John. John: It was a long time ago. I have been doing well. I am sin free I swear. I’m doing everything you want me to. Joseph: Then what is this doing in your bathroom? Do not lie to me brother. Who’s is it? (Mara’s face is burning. She sighs.). Mara: Mine. It’s mine. (Faith gasps. Joseph stares at her.). Joseph: Yours? Mara: Yeah. Now do you mind not waving it around? Jeez embarrass me much. (Mara gets up and snatches the bra off of Joseph.). Mara: Then I guess that’s what fathers are meant to do. Embarrass their daughters. Joseph: This is not a joke Mara. You must atone for your actions. Mara: What actions? Taking my bra off coz it’s too fucking small coz I can’t afford clothes that fit? It was cutting into my skin and my tits are already sore so I took it off. I left it in the bathroom coz I didn’t exactly want to carry it around the house with me. (There is silence. Mara sighs and shakes her head.). Mara: It’s always gonna be like this innit? I just constantly get accused of shit. Coz I must be up to no good at all times right? Joseph: I apologise. I made the wrong assumption. Mara: Yeah you did. Big time. To think that you go on at Holly for jumping to conclusions! Hypocrite! (Mara goes upstairs. Joseph goes after her. He sees her go into the bathroom and he follows her.). Joseph: Do not walk away from me my child. (He stands in the doorway staring at her.). Mara: Sorry. It was just...Embarrassing. I wasn’t expecting removing my bra would cause drama. Joseph: I apologise. Mara: It’s okay. You know it looked kinda funny. You standing there waving this bra around. (He stares at her.). Mara: You never smile Joe. Why do you never smile? (He smiles at her. She smiles back.). Mara: That’s better. Joseph: You should smile more often too. You always look so unhappy my child. Are you not happy with us? Mara: I guess I’m just waiting for it all to be ripped away. Everyone I get close to either dies or leaves me. So... (She shrugs.). Joseph: Nobody is leaving you. You are part of our family now. A part of us. You have a purpose here. You have been saved. You will join us in the new world. In the new Eden. (She wonders what he would think if he knew she had been fucking his brother. If he knew her secret.). Joseph: You look like you don’t have much faith. Mara: I guess not right now. I’m new at this...Trusting people thing. Having a family coz I’ve never had one before except for Bonnie and my sister. I’m just scared that you’re going to realise one day that you don’t want me after all. Then I’ll be alone on the streets again. (He wraps his arms around her pulling her close to him.). Joseph: Have faith. That is not going to happen. You are wanted here. You are welcome here. You have given up your sin and been cleansed. You have given yourself to me. To us. To the church. I have not forgotten how you protected us against that attack. Mara: That’s what you do for family isn’t it? (He smiles at her before pressing a kiss to her forehead. He then turns and leaves the bathroom. She hears his footsteps fade down the hall then the stairs. She closes the door and uses the loo before splashing water on her face. It’s so hard to know what to believe. The people in town telling her that these people are evil. Joseph doesn’t seem evil. He seems...Kind, calm and caring even. But then she remembers that men are the best manipulators. Her own father managed to hide the fact that he was a drug dealer for years. That priest hid the fact that he was a paedophile. She then remembers how John enjoyed hurting her. How he enjoyed every slice he made into her skin. How he nearly drowned her in the river. The pieces of human skin stapled to the wall. Jacob and the cages with people in them. She can see why some would call this family evil. But it’s so hard to see just one side. Especially when her sister is one of them. Then she reminds herself that she is one of them now too. She has defended them, fought for them, given herself to them. She sighs and goes back downstairs. Joseph and the others are saying goodbye to John. Mara hugs her sister.). Faith: What’s this for? Mara: You’re going aren’t you? Faith: Yes. Aren’t you coming too? Mara: No. Faith: Why? Mara: I need to speak to John about something. Faith: Is everything alright? Mara: Yeah course it is. (Mara smiles. Faith smiles back.). Faith: Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow. You could bring the truck over to my bunker from the compound. Steve’s loaded up some supplies for me. Mara: Um...I’ll try. Faith: What do you mean silly? (Mara looks embarrassed and awkward.). Mara: I’ve never driven a car before much less a truck. Faith: Oh. Well maybe you could take Steve with you and he could give you a driving lesson on the way over. It’s easy sis. Mara: That sounds awesome. Faith: Great. See you tomorrow. Mara: You will. (Joseph smiles at Mara. She smiles back before going to the kitchen. Jacob looks after her frowning not failing to notice how she was avoiding looking at him. Not that he cares. He then remembers that she was going to tell him something earlier before the others came in. He doubts it was anything important. He turns and leaves the chalet with Joseph and Faith. John closes the door behind them and goes to the kitchen. Mara has made herself a cup of tea.). Mara: Do you want a hot drink? John: I’ll have a tea. (She makes another cup of tea in his plane mug.). John: So...What did you want to talk me about? Mara: What? (She looks confused.). John: You told Faith that you needed to speak to me about something. Mara: Oh. No I just said that to shut her up. John: What do you mean? Mara: Well if I’d have said oh I’m staying here for the night they might have accused us of sleeping together again so I thought if I told her I just needed to talk to you it would sound less weird. John: I see. But you don’t need to lie Mara. We have nothing to hide. Mara: I know. But you know what people are like. Gossip. Gossip. Gossip. Jon: Oh yes. They do. Mara: It doesn’t help when Holly is constantly stirring. You know she accused me of sleeping with Jacob too? Right in front of Joseph. (Though Holly was right about that one. Oh if only she knew.). John: Did she? Mara: Yeah. I don’t know what her problem is John. I don’t understand how someone I barely know can hate me so much. John: She doesn’t hate you. Her sin is envy. She thinks that we are more than what we are. So she doesn’t like it that you and I have been spending time together. Mara: She’s in love with you. John: No. Mara: Why else would she be so bothered? She clearly cares for you John. I know the other night she waited up nearly all night for you to get back to the compound after going to find Lonny. She waited for you to get back so that she knew you were safe. Because she cares about you. John: It was...Just sex. Mara: For you maybe. That’s what you men don’t seem to realise. For you it’s just sex but for all you know for the woman it’s much more than that. We have feelings you know? John: I know that. But I believe I made it clear that we were not serious. Mara: I wasn’t blaming you for anything or trying to say you did anything wrong. You don’t need to explain to yourself to me John. It’s fine. It’s your business. I’m just saying that sometimes...Even when it starts as just sex...It can lead to more. One person starts to develop feelings and... (She shrugs. He frowns at her.). John: You sound like you are speaking from experience. Mara: Me? No. Nobody’s ever...No...Not me. I am not the girl that gets the guy. (She lets out a small laugh before picking up her mug and going to the lounge. He follows her and sits down.). John: I find that hard to believe you know? Mara: Well it’s the truth. There was only really Alex. I didn’t know any other guys and the one’s I did were...Not very nice. I thought Alex was nice and I thought he liked me. He gave me that impression you know? He genuinely acted like he liked me. But it was a joke. To him it was a joke. He found it funny when he kissed me and I thought...It hurt. (She shrugs.). Mara: So that’s what I am. Just the joke. You know I often wonder what it would be like to have someone that loved me. Someone that thought I was beautiful. John: I think you’re beautiful. (She looks at him and he can see that she looks so sad. He frowns.). Mara: Thanks. (She takes a sip of her tea.). John: Is that why you are sad? Because you want someone? Mara: Doesn’t everyone? I mean that’s life isn’t it? Everyone else seems to meet someone and get married and have...Kids. I just wonder if...That’ll ever be me. What if...There isn’t anyone for me? What if I never find that one person I am meant to share my life with? Or worse what if I meet him and he doesn’t want me? John: How would he not want you? He would be foolish not to want you. (She sips her tea and looks at the floor.). John: Besides you don’t need to worry about things like that. You don’t need a man...Or have lustful thoughts entered your mind? Mara: No. It would just be nice to have someone that loved me. Haven’t you ever wondered if you would ever get married? (He smiles and lets out a breath.). John: Marriage? Oh I don’t know. I hardly think it’s in the cards for me. I am far too busy helping my brother with the project. Mara: But do you want to get married? To find that someone who loves you and completes you and makes you happy. It must get lonely in this big house all by yourself. John: Yes I suppose it does at times. But marriage...I don’t know. It’s a big commitment. Mara: Not if it’s the right person. I don’t get people who talk about it like it’s awful and a chore. It tells me that they have married the wrong person. If two people love each other and make each other happy they will do anything for them, they wouldn’t see it as a chore would they? (He smiles.). John: You’ve been giving this a lot of thought. Is that what this is, a marriage proposal? (He chuckles.). Mara: No. Just forget I said anything. Must be the hormones. John: Ah yes. Blame them for everything. Mara: I will. (He chuckles. She finishes her tea and puts her mug on the side table. She then leans back and closes her eyes.). John: Tired? Mara: Yeah. John: I thought you wanted a bath. Mara: Is that okay? John: Of course. Mara: Thanks. (She gets up and goes upstairs. He takes the mugs to the kitchen and puts them in the sink. He then goes upstairs and into his study. He sits down at the desk and picks up a small paintbrush and finishes painting his latest finished plane model.

---Mara lies in the bath with her eyes closed trying to just relax for one minute. But she can’t. Because she knows she can’t hide this for long. She doesn’t know how to tell anyone, she doesn’t know what to say. She could see one of the doctors and just tell them to sort it for her. But then they might tell Joseph. Maybe she could go to Missoula and see a doctor there. She looks down at her stomach then places a hand on it. Tears fill her eyes. Maybe she should just tell Jacob. She suddenly finds herself imagining him smiling at her then kneeling down and pressing a kiss to her stomach. A sob escapes her throat. She knows it wouldn’t happen like that. She isn’t stupid she knows the kind of man Jacob is. Angry, broken and deranged. Locking people in cages and...Killing. Why did she have to like him?! She curses the day she met him. There has to be something wrong with her for her to like a man like that. But when she lay in his arms she felt safe and warm. It was nice. She liked it. She sighs as she tries to think of some plan but she has none. Would people even understand how she feels about Jacob? Would they think her mad for liking a man like that? Because she does have feelings for him. She’s only known him for three months but she’s somehow managed to develop feelings for him. She lies there sobbing. She finds herself thinking for a moment about just sliding under the bath water and staying there. She wouldn’t have to worry about anything. It will all be over.

---John has finished painting the plane. He leaves it to dry and gets up going down the hall. He passes the bathroom and sees the door wide open. He frowns. Mara must be in his en suite. He goes into the bedroom and knocks on the bathroom door. There is no reply. He knocks again.). John: Mara? (Still no answer. He knocks again.). John: Mara? Have you fallen asleep in there again? (Still no answer. He tries to open the door but it’s locked. He bangs on the door hard.). John: Mara! (He stands there for a moment then he sighs angrily and kicks the door open. The lock falls to the floor and part of the frame splinters. He steps into the bathroom.). John: Wake up! You’ve made me break my door now! (He freezes as he sees Mara lying in the bath under the water. Her eyes are closed and she isn’t moving.). John: Mara! (He yanks her out of the bathtub and lies her on the bathroom floor. He then starts pumping her chest before giving her mouth to mouth.). John: Come on. Come on. (He continues to pump her chest before giving her mouth to mouth again. Just as he thinks all is lost she coughs and splutters. He rolls her onto her side and grabs a towel draping it over her. He can’t help but notice her naked body. He has seen everything now. He has seen all of her. His jeans are suddenly way too tight in the groin area and he reprimands himself for having such thoughts and feelings. This is really not the time. Mara moans as she lies there gasping.). John: Mara? Mara: Um? John: Are you okay? (She lies there then rolls onto her back. She blinks up at him frowning.). Mara: What are you doing in here? (She realises she is naked and sits up pulling the towel around her.). John: I had to kick the door in. Mara: What? Why? John: You wouldn’t answer me. It was lucky I did. You nearly drowned. Mara: What made you kick the door in? John: I told you. You wouldn’t answer me. I wanted to use my bathroom. My toothbrush and shower gel is in here. You were lucky I did. You could have died. Mara: I guess. I must have fallen asleep and slid under. John: You really need to stop falling asleep in bathtubs. It’s actually quite dangerous. Mara: So it would seem. Well...I’m gonna get dressed now. (She gets up and coughs again. He pats her on the back and wraps his arms around her.). John: Are you sure you’re okay? I can get a doctor. Mara: No. I’ll be fine. John: You know you could still drown. It happens. Someone nearly drowns and they say they are fine but then later they are found dead. All it takes is some water in your lungs and- Mara: I’m fine okay. You can stop worrying. (She starts to dry herself off. John stares as he watches her...Her large breasts, the curve of her hips. Her bare ass. He swallows hard.). John: What are you doing? Mara: Getting dressed. John: Showing me your naked body...Teasing me again. Mara: I’m not teasing you. You’ve already seen everything now so there’s no point trying to cover it up is there? (She throws the towel on the floor before putting her knickers and leggings on followed by her baggy black top and the cardigan. She sounded annoyed.). John: You are beautiful. (She freezes staring at the wall. Oh how she wants to hear Jacob say that to her.). Mara: Stop being an idiot. John: But I am not an idiot. Mara: Whatever you say. John: Aren’t you going to thank me for saving your life? Mara: Yeah great. Thanks. (She empties the bathwater then looks at herself in the mirror. She then picks the towel back up and starts drying her hair. It’s so long it always takes her ages to dry it even with a hairdryer.). Mara: Do you have a hairdryer? John: Yes. (He opens the cupboard under the sink and takes out a hairdryer. He plugs it into the wall socket.). Mara: Thanks. John: Are you going to be long? I need to take a shower. Mara: It takes ages to dry my hair. Can’t you use the other bathroom? John: This is my bathroom like I told you. I want to use this one. Mara: Okay. Have your shower. (She switches on the hairdryer and starts drying her hair. He stares at her frowning.). John: I said I’m going to have a shower! (He has to shout over the noise of the hairdryer. Mara turns it off.). Mara: Yeah I heard you the first time. Have your shower then. Don’t let me stop you. (He stares at her.). Mara: Oh I see. So it’s okay for you to have seen my entire body in all its horror but you won’t get undressed with me in the room coz you’re what? Shy? Seriously I ain’t even looking at you. I’m drying my hair. (She switches the dryer back on and turns away from him. He stands there for a moment then he smirks slightly. He then removes his shoes and socks, then his jeans and waistcoat. He then removes his shirt and his boxers. He stands there naked staring at Mara but she isn’t looking at him. He turns and opens the shower door and turns on the water. He closes the door and looks at Mara through the glass. She still hasn’t looked over at him. He shouldn’t even be doing this. If Joseph knew they were in the bathroom...Like this. It isn’t like they’ve done anything but he doubts his brother would see it that way. He sighs. He needs to stop these thoughts. He looks down at his erection before making the water colder. A cry leaves his lips as the ice cold water hits him. He stands there shivering willing himself to stop thinking about Mara’s breasts. The problem is now that he has seen them...Now that he has seen all of her...It is now twice as hard to resist her. He can still hear the hairdryer. He looks through the glass at Mara. She isn’t looking in his direction. She’s too busy drying her hair. He sighs and picks up his shower gel before making the water warmer. He then showers and washes his hair before switching off the water and stepping out of the shower. He grabs a towel and wraps it around his waist. Mara is still drying her hair. He supposes it’s so long it must take ages for it to dry. Her hair almost reaches her backside. He leans against the counter. She turns and looks at him before laughing and turning away. He frowns.). John: What’s funny? (She switches off the hairdryer and still laughing turns to him.). John: What? Mara: Your hair. (She laughs again.). John: What about it? Mara: You look kinda cute with your hair all stuck to your head like that. (He grins like the Cheshire cat.). John: You think I’m cute? I believe you have called me that before. Mara: Have I? I don’t remember. John: I am pretty sure you have. Mara: Whatever. Let me guess you are now going to tell me that you need the hairdryer. John: Yes actually I do. Mara: Help me dry my damn hair then. It’s so fucking long it’s unreal. (He chuckles.). John: You could always cut it. Mara: Cut it? No. I always regret it when I cut it. Besides how could you cut my hair? Look at it it’s so long and lovely. John: Hm. (She hands him the hairdryer and he takes it from her. She then turns around.). Mara: I think it’s only really the ends that still need drying. (He stands there for a moment. She wants him to finish drying her hair? He has his own hair to dry. But then he realises that he has the perfect excuse to run his hands through it. He smiles to himself before switching on the dryer and taking some of her hair in his hand as he dries it. Once he is done he switches the dryer off and puts it down. He then runs his fingers through her soft silky hair.). John: There. All done my dear. Mara: Thanks. (She turns to him and smiles. He leans against the counter.). John: So...What do you think? Mara: About what? John: About me. Mara: What do you mean? John: Well now that you have seen me naked what do you think? Mara: You what? I haven’t seen you naked you idiot. John: Alright. Fine. Mara: Are you worried about how you look or something is that it? I don’t think anyone is happy with how they look. I know I ain’t. I hate my body. It disgusts me. John: What? Why? There is nothing wrong with you. I have told you that you are beautiful. Mara: Only you seem to think so. John: I’m sure that’s not true. Mara: There’s nothing wrong with how you look either. So if you’re worried don’t be. Anyway haven’t you had like a hundred women? Surely that must tell you something. John: A hundred women? Who told you that? Mara: Everyone talks about you like you’re some womanizer always fucking everything that moves so... John: I see. So you are listening to rumours. Mara: It’s not a rumour if it’s true though is it? John: I suppose not. But it wasn’t a hundred! Mara: Okay. John: Actually it was probably more than that. (She sighs and shakes her head.). Mara: You are terrible. (He chuckles.). John: I was. I’m different now. Joseph has saved me. He has helped me see. Mara: So you are no longer taking drugs? John: No. Mara: Drinking? John: No. Mara: Fucking everything that moves? John: No. Mara: Holly begs to differ. John: I admit that yes I have...Slipped a little but... Mara: Hey it’s okay. It really doesn’t bother me. You do what you want. I do. (She shrugs. He raises his eyebrows at her.). Mara: What? You gonna get dressed or what? John: I don’t have to. (She stares at him then sighs and shakes her head.). Mara: You know...For someone who goes on about sin- John: No you’re right. I shouldn’t have said that. Mara: Look...I’m sure that one day you’re going to meet a woman and she’s going to love you and you’re going to love her. (She smiles at him.). Mara: Sometimes you just have to be patient. John: You think so? Mara: Yes. Bonnie always used to tell me that one day I would meet the right person and it would be right and good. I don’t know if I believe it though. Doesn’t seem like it’s in the cards for me. John: Hm. Mara: You should get dressed John. I’ll go and make you hot chocolate. (She leaves the bathroom. He sighs and dries himself off and dries his hair with the hairdryer. He then goes into his bedroom and opens a drawer. He takes out a pair of dark blue silk pyjama bottoms. He slips them on not bothering about underwear before going downstairs to the kitchen. It’s empty. He goes to the lounge and sees Mara lying on the sofa with her eyes closed. He walks over and nudges her.). Mara: Um? John: Tired? Mara: Yeah. (He sees the mug of hot chocolate on the table and picks it up sipping it. She moves so that he can sit down. She leans against him. He chuckles.). John: You are very confusing. Mara: How am I confusing? John: You try to tell me that you have no interest in me and yet...You keep getting close to me and wanting to stay over. (He smirks.). Mara: I don’t fancy you. I just...I like being with you coz you’re my friend. It’s been years since I’ve had a friend. My sister calls you her brother so I guess I kind of see you as a brother now too. John: Hm. Yes. We are all brothers and sisters here. Mara: Can I tell you something? John: You can tell me anything. Do you have a confession to make? Mara: I guess. (He looks down at her. She slides her arm through his and takes hold of his hand. He puts his hot chocolate down before putting his arm around her so that her head rests on his chest.). John: Tell me. (Her eyes fill with tears.). Mara: When you found me in the bath... John: Yes? Mara: I didn’t fall asleep in the bath. (He frowns.). John: What do you mean? (He thinks he already knows though.). Mara: I didn’t fall asleep in the bath John. (There is silence for a moment.). Mara: It wasn’t an accident. John: You tried to drown yourself? Why would you do that? Why would you throw away this gift we have given you? Mara: What gift? John: The gift of a new life. You have been saved. You have been given the Fathers blessing. You have been welcomed with open arms into our family. Why would you turn your back on that? Mara: I didn’t do it because of you silly. John: Why did you do it? Mara: Because I am unhappy. I am lost. I feel like I’m drowning all the time actually. John: Why? You are throwing away a great gift. You are turning your back on the Father and his teachings. You are turning your back on your sister. Does all this mean so little to you? Mara: No. I’m just a coward. But... (She looks up at him and their noses are almost touching she is so close to him. His breath catches in his throat. He can see her eyelashes and the tears rolling down her cheeks.). Mara: Clearly you were meant to save me from myself...Again. I never really thanked you did I? (He gazes at her. He can smell alcohol on her breath. Then she kisses him softly on the lips. He closes his eyes and kisses her back. Then she pulls away from him and stares at him.). Mara: I’m gonna go to bed. Don’t stay up too late. (She stands up.). Mara: Thank you...For saving me. Again. Night John. (She leaves the room. He sits there staring into the fire sipping his hot chocolate. She says she doesn’t fancy him yet she kisses him. She is very confusing. He finishes his hot chocolate and takes his mug to the kitchen. He then makes himself a coffee and returns to the lounge. He picks up a book and sits back down. He sits reading for a good few hours before his eyes become too heavy to continue. He puts the book down and takes the empty mug to the kitchen putting it in the sink. He then returns to the lounge and puts out the fire before going upstairs. He walks down the hall. Several of his spare bedrooms have their doors wide open except for one. He stops at the door staring at it. He then slowly opens it. Mara is lying in the double bed asleep. Her clothes are on the floor next to bed along with her shoes. He stands in the doorway staring at her before he closes it again and goes down the hall to his bedroom. He really needs to stop this. He goes into his bathroom and yanks his pyjama bottoms down before wrapping his hand tightly around his hard cock. He closes his eyes and tilts his head back as he starts pumping furiously.).

#Far Cry 5 #Home #Jacob Seed #Jacob Seed x Mara Jessop #Mara Jessop #Faiths sister #Faith Seed #John Seed #Joseph Seed #original character #Writing #My Writing

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