#jude bellingham x black oc

[bl00dst41ned]

*.·:·.✦ another lifetime ✦.·:·.*

pairing: jude bellingham x black female oc (named her Nevaeh)

summary: in which when a life ends, another one begins

author's note: ummm…….i’m sorry guys. inspired by nao's 'another lifetime' song

warnings: mention of car accident and death

word count: 1856

“It’s gonna be a bit cold”

The translucid gel dripped on Nevaeh’s belly as she laid down on the hospital bed. The obstetrician spread the gel around the round stomach using her little sound instrument. She clicked a button, turning on the screen.

Nevaeh watched it move around until appeared the perfectly-formed baby silhouette. Her eyes gazed at the black and white image in awe.

“There she is”

“Looks like she’s sucking her thumb” Nevaeh pointed before looking at her left.

At her left sat Jude, whose leg couldn’t stop shaking out of excitement. His eyes glistened as he watched his baby girl.

His longtime girlfriend Nevaeh and him were expecting a little girl. Today was their last ultrasound before their baby’s arrival, due in two weeks. And the same as the others, they were in wonder in front of their little creation.

“She’s getting in the right position to get out” The doctor pointed on the screen. “But the due date stays the same”

She told them a few more information on the baby’s vitals and on the upcoming birth before the visit ended. The couple checked out of the clinic before leaving out of the building. Jude's hand automatically reached for Nevaeh's, tangling them together as he rubbed his thumb on her hand.

They walked to Jude’s car swaying their hands together. Once they both got in, Jude booked a Uber for Nevaeh since she had to go home and him, to training. As they waited for her driver to arrive, they sat in a comfortable silence. 

Jude occasionally left soft kisses on his girlfriend’s cheek.

Nevaeh was the apple of Jude’s eye. She could always catch him lost staring. He admired her brown skin glowing in the sun that he loved so much. Her braids that she insisted on getting to be comfortable to give birth. Her naturally curved eyelashes moving as Nevaeh closed her eyes.

“You can’t sleep now, baby” Jude smiled seeing her tired expression. He knew how much Nevaeh hated to be woken up out of a nap, so he didn’t want to take the risk to make her mad, even more now that she was nine months pregnant.

“This driver need to come, I wanna sleep”

Deciding to stay awake, Nevaeh took her phone out, opening the Instagram app only to be met with her baby-filled feed. Her eyes shined from the overload cuteness, tears filling her eyes.

“Why are you crying, babe?” Jude asked, trying hard not to laugh. “It’s the babies again?”

“I just can’t wait, Nugs” Nevaeh called him by the affectionate nickname she gave him years prior. “Like, we’re going to be parents, and it feels like a dream come true” She ranted, full-blown crying. “Because I could not imagine another person to start a family with than with the person I love the most, and that’s you”

Her words had left Jude speechless. Nevaeh was shy when it comes to vocalise her feelings. She would write him letters to express her love, but the hormones had made her talk more and let her emotions out to him.

“I love you too” He responded with a grin. “And I can’t wait for her to arrive too. You’re my forever best friend and will be the greatest mom of all moms”

They exchanged a kiss and Jude went down to kiss her stomach, the baby kicking instantly. They observed her belly move as their daughter’s feet moved.

“Time for you to go” Jude realised the Uber had just came. He walked out the car going to open Nevaeh’s and help her out the vehicle. He accompanied her to the car, settling her in and not forgetting to drop a peck on her forehead.

“Bye Nugs I love you”

“I love you, babe”

………

Nevaeh's hand rested on her pregnant belly, feeling her daughter's light kicks against her palm. Her eyelids were now heavier and she started to doze off. Before she could, she heard the driver shout.

Nevaeh didn't get to look at what happened that her head was projected to the top of the car. Nevaeh crouched as much as she could, protecting her child as the car flipped over and over again. 

The scene looked straight out of a horror movie. The sound of windows shattering, the screams, the metal dropping on the concrete. 

Bypassers ran to the crashed Honda, ambulance already called over. A deadly atmosphere filled the space around. The violence of the accident left no hope to them for anybody to be alive as they still looked inside.

“There’s a pregnant woman!” One of them shouted seeing Nevaeh’s hands around her belly.

She opened her eyes once it stopped, only for them to be blinded by the smoke in the car. She could only mumble weakly "Nugs" before falling unconscious.

...........

"Jude"

At the call of his name, the man started running towards to get the ball from his teammates and shoot it in the goal. He went back to his place with his head down, breathing hard. As he looked up, he saw the club’s secretary, Louise, call him over.

He furrowed his eyes the closer he got to Louise, catching her worried face expression.

“What’s wrong?”

She stumbled on her words, struggling to form a sentence. She finally took a deep breath before breaking the news clearly.

“You need to get to the hospital quick, Nevaeh had got into a bad car accident-”

Louise could not even finish her sentence that he had took off running to his phone and car keys and rush to his pregnant girlfriend.

Each minute spent in the car felt like an hour. His sweaty hands gripped the steering wheel harder every time he had to stop at a red light. He silently prayed for his girlfriend and daughter to be alright and kept all negatives thoughts out of his mind.

At the hospital, he pratically ran to the front desk.

“Hello, I’m looking for my girlfriend” He managed to say in a calm voice. “She had gotten in a car accident earlier”

The nurse looked on her computer before answering to him.

“Third floor, the elevator’s on the far right” She pointed the direction.

Jude thanked her quickly before rushing to the third floor. He cut road of the first doctor that came his way.

“Excuse me, do you know where’s my girlfriend, she got in a car accident”

“Oh yeah, I’ll check, just wait there”

Jude did as told going to the waiting room. He tried to sit still but got up the next minute pacing back and forth in the room and sitting again. He repeated the cycle until a nurse came into the room, catching his attention.

“Are you here for a certain Nevaeh ?”

“Yes, can I see her ?” He immediately asked, frustrated to see her shake her head.

“Not yet. But there’s somebody else who wants to see you”

Jude was confused for a bit, not knowing who he had to see other than his partner. But one look at the nurse’s face made it clear in his mind. She was here.

He followed behind the nurse to a room, with another nurse inside. He approached them to see a newborn girl move around. His newborn girl.

“Look who’s there to see you” One of the nurse cooed. “You’d like to hold her”

“Obviously”

His face now held the biggest smile, showing his white teeth.

“Okay, take off your shirt and sit there”

Jude did as told as she set his daughter on his chest. The little baby gesticulated slowly before settling.

Jude stayed stiff, intimidated by this tiny little human, which the nurse had caught on.

“Relax” She said with a chuckle, earning one from Jude too. “We’re here if anything happens”

They reassured him the first few minutes before setting back, seeing that he felt more comfortable.

Finally alone with his child, Jude took a look to take in her features. Her fair skin from just being born. Her little head, her little hands, her little legs. She looked so tiny in his hands, fragile as porcelain. He watched her eyes opening and closing. Her dark brown eyes, just like her mom’s.

He snapped a quick picture as the nurses came to him.

“Seems like dad is handling it well”

Jude smiled while keeping his eyes on his little one.

“She has a lot of hair too” He rubbed the short black hair. “Nevaeh’s gonna be so happy to not have had heart burns for nothing”

The nurses face expression changed instantly. Their wide smiles were now replaced with concerning looks. It was silent for a few seconds before the one that took him to see his baby spoke.

“Unfortunately, Nevaeh didn’t survive the accident, I’m sorry”

Her voice resonated as if the room was entirely empty.

After the birth of their daughter, he didn’t even think of Nevaeh not being alright too.

“How c- what happened?”

“She…died shortly after the baby was born. I guess she used her last forces into giving birth”

Jude stared into space and his hand mechanically caressed his baby’s skin. A baby he never imagined raising without Nevaeh. Within hours, he had gone through the best and worst moments of his life, his mind split from happiness and sadness.

Jude walked out of the room minutes later, his head hanging low and feet dragging. He joined his family that he had called earlier. They quickly got up at his sight and Denise first started talking.

“How are they?”

“Little girl is here and healthy”

“And Nevaeh?”

His silence spoke louder than words could ever done. Since the news was broken to him, Jude had kept himself from crying, scared that his daughter could feel his sadness. But as soon as his mother wrapped her arms around him, all the tears bottled inside escaped his eyes. 

He cried, his head snuggled in Denise’s chest, feeling like a child again. A child who just fell and needed a hug. His heart got hurt and needed comfort. Denise’s hand gently rubbed the back of his neck while reassuring him. Just like Nevaeh does. 

Like she used to do.

judebellingham

9,557,513 likes

judebellingham I've never imagined having to write this. Nothing could have prepared me for it. Losing my best friend but also welcoming another one. And for that Nevaeh I thank you. For gathering the little rest of strength into bringing our love into this world, that you cherished so much. Best believe she'll be reminded of that every day. She looks just like you aswell. I wish you could see her. Sometimes it's hard to not have you by my side, but there's always someone to help me. So I should be alright. I hope you are granted Heaven. Because that is what you are. You were my Heaven on Earth. Heaven is your name. And that's where we'll meet again. I’ll see you in another lifetime. Until then, I’ll take good care of little Shaili, I promise. I love you both with all my heart 🐻‍❄️🤍 - Nugs

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i'm so sorry y'all but the song inspired me too much

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[1-800anklebully]

That girl Jude Bellingham x black female oc

Summary: You are one of the best female players in woman football. And for some odd a reason a certain Dortmund player had taken a liking into you.

Warnings: Swearing, and use of alcohol, and just Jude being Jude. Also for sake of this imagine Trent plays for Borussia Dortmund. And probably more things I cant think off the top of my head.

Excuse any errors

┊ ˚➶ ｡˚

It was a hot day in England to be exact it was about 28 degrees, you could not spot a single cloud in the sky it was as clear as day. The sun was the only thing out today.

Along with the female and male England teams they unfortunately had to train on this beautiful note the sarcasm. They were on separate grounds the men on the other and the woman on the other.

Simply just doing drills and works out as the men had a game approaching this week which meant the ladies had to attend it was mandatory.

“Girls are you mucking around? You’re meant to be working on your kicking skills. Especially you Gretchen.” Coach Martin pointed her out and she went a bright shade of red. He was wrong for that.

But hey that was Coach Martin for you he didn’t care who he offends or humiliates. He was honest and like it or not that’s who he is. The whole team have all came to the conclusion that’s who he is as a person.

He was so nonchalant to everyone including his wife. I think the only time he actually cracked a smile and let himself loose was when the woman had won their World Cup.

“Oh then you come fashionably late l/n. Maybe you can teach these girls how to kick a fucking football!” He seethed throwing his clipboard to ground and he stormed off the field to where the men were gawking in disbelief.

You on the other hand, had just arrived and were beyond perplexed on why he was so grouchy in the morning. Maybe he woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

“What did you guys do to piss him off.” You sighed crossing your arms. You were the youngest in the ground yet you felt like the oldest.

“Nothing just practicing our kicking and he just flipped.” Gretchen sighed rubbing her face now recovered from being called out.

You raised a eyebrow.” I get what he means though. You’re lazy Gretchen.” She said making the men gasp and some say ‘oh shít’.

“E-Excuse me.”

“You heard me you kick like a pre-schooler and lack putting in effort when performing. I know we’re better and bigger than that. That goes for all of you we can’t be slacking off just because we won a cup.

It doesn’t mean anything it’s a new which means we have to try harder for another 4 years. Understood. Now let’s started.” You explained and they all nodded in agreement paring up with somebody to pass the ball back and forth.

A speaker was on, Burna boy was playing on the speakers some of the girls were dancing and the others were chatting while actually doing what they were told.

It was not surprising as they had respected their captain you and could never disagree with what she says due to her always knowing what’s best for their team.

“I wonder why Coach M was so mad at them they seem to be kicking efficiently.” Trent analysed joining Jude who was on his break watching the girls train. Not in a creepy way.

“I agree. Who is she.” Jude didn’t tear his eyes off you as you laughed handling the ball with so much skill and it was effortlessly too.

“Who?”

“Number 9.”

Trent furrowed his eyebrows, but once his eyes landed on you he smiled and waved at you and you blew him a kiss jokingly making him laugh.

“That’s Y/n L/n. Their captain. She’s a damn beast on the field you should see her.” Trent ranted amazed by your work.

“What’s so good about her.” Jude shifted uncomfortably not liking how doe eyed Trent looked at you.

“She has won countless medals and not to mention she’s the captain of her team at only 19 like you it’s incredible.”

“Oh yeah well how do you know her?” Jude couldn’t help but question. Trent then began explaining that your sister was dating one of his brothers. Tyler.

And you guys stood together at the wedding of one of his cousin wedding. Ever since then you made it your duty to tease him. Partially because you use to have a crush on Trent, but the crush faded as soon as you saw his dance moves that night.

It shocked you that someone that was mixed with Caribbean had no rhythm at all. Stiff as a board.

“Well she seems cool.” Jude expressed as he kicked down on the grass with his boots. Trent stared at him funny. There was no way…

“Do you fancy her?”

“No?!”

Trend rolled his eyes at how defensive Jude became it obviously meant that he found her some what attractive . Yet he couldn’t blame him. You were a sight for sore eyes.

“I’m just going to put this out there if you choose to pursue her, you’re not going to be 100% successful. She’s a tough one. Wants her eggs cracked.” Trent tried explaining but all Jude could see was love-hearts.

He wanted to get to know her, heck if he had known about her earlier he probably would’ve shot his shot.

You pivoted your right foot so that the ball had hit the inner side of your boot and boom the ball had went into the goal square.

Your team cheered as you run around the field screaming they had jumped on you which made you tumble down. However when down your eyes landed on a familiar pair of brown ones and they twinkled with delight.

You felt like you were in trance with this stranger and for whatever your eyes couldn't seem to drift away only until your teammates had carried you away to the locker-room and you loss sight of him in the crowd.

''Jude.'' Trent spoke a wide shit eating grin on his face he could beyond a doubt see that this youngin was already plotting your whole life together. That's how Jude was.

He falls in love to quick and believes in love at first sight. This is how he always tends to end up broken heart as he dates the first girl he sees.

''BOYS WE'RE RESUMING ARNOLD, BELLINGHAM!''

┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊

Your point of view

Time had now passed and the girls were done with their practice most were showering and others were chatting getting ready to leave. You stood against the wall typing mindlessly on your phone to your younger brother who was claiming there was no food at home.

Which was a lie because your mother always cooked at home for your father however your brother wasn't interested and only wanted fast food. So being the good old sister you were you would always buy him something when you could.

Lori, your teammate and best friend had came over and bit into you shoulder causing you gasp and flip around while she laughs toppling over.

"Girl you're weird as fuck you can't be doing that shit.'' You berated clutching your shoulder as she smiled goofily. She was always doing strange things to make her presence known.

She simply shrugged ignoring your statement.'' Who are you texting.'' She peers over your shoulder and scrunches up her face, when she sees your brothers name on the screen.

''Not that little brat.'' Her and your brother didn't exactly get along as he had a attitude problem according to her which wasn't exactly false.

''Not too much Lori. How are you beefing with a 16 almost 17 year old and you hanging onto 20.''

''That boy's a menace don't even.'' She waved you off for defending your brother and eyed Emily's arse as she walked by which made you roll your eyes at how she was not being subtle at all.

''Anyways, I saw Mr Bellingham eying you earlier on the pitch what's up with that huh.'' She nudged you knowingly as if you knew what on earth she was going on about.

''Who the hell is that? And piss off would you.'' You scoffed pushing her away to stop her hassle.

Lori's face had dropped there was no way you didn't know who Jude was he was all over tik tok and Instagram you name it. He was everywhere and for you not know who he was astounding.

Most 13-17 year old girls would be shaking their head at your lack of knowledge.

''Are you bloody serious? Number 22 that guy that was gawking at you that's Jude Bellingham.'' She stares at you alarmed at how un phased you were that he even glanced your way.

Quite frankly you weren't interested as the last thing on your mind was a boyfriend you already were one step ahead of Lori. She was probably already jotting down ideas on how to purposely make you two bump into each other.

''oh that's cool.'' You go back to texting your brother laughing at the text he sent you. Unaware of how badly she was glaring you down.

''I hate you sometimes you know that.''

'' I know.'' You chimed and began walking off to shower.

" You know he's feeling you!" She yelled out not caring who heard she just wanted to get her message across.

"NO HE'S NOT NOT!''

┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊

LATER ON THAT NIGHT

While on your drive back home after spending some time with the girls, the traffic to your house was absolutely bizarre. Especially at this time of the night since it was around 8pm you didn’t expect that much people to be out and about.

Sighing, you knew the best thing that you could was scroll on your phone to by some time. Adjusting your seat, you went on Instagram catching up on everything you had missed due to being a practice. Eh it was same same.

Insta models, DMS being flooded with messages from random people most positive but some could be quite nasty.

For some reason a random cloud had propped over you and it was encouraging to scroll through this Jude Bellinghams page.

So you did. Oh he took some nice photos. Mainly about football not really into posting his social life. That’s great.

Accept why were you stalking his page if you weren’t interested. You mentally scolded yourself and hopped off his profile going to something else.

You will give it to Lori though, he is quite majestic and definitely does have the looks. But of course you would never admit that out loud.

“Finally, you’re here.” Your brother exaggerated dashing up from the living room. He didn’t even greet you, he just finessed the bag of Maccas from you.

Your mother scolded him and he just hummed.

“Tobias.” She tutted him as he just took a bite of the burger and his eyes widened.” OH- thanks Y/n!”

You waved him off with a tired smile and just collapsed on the couch next to your mother who was knitting.

“Hey mama.”

“Hey sweetie. How was practice?” She never tore her eyes off her thread. It still marvelled you at how she threaded so efficiently even though she was approaching her late 40s.

''Practice was the same. Accept the girls were taking it lightly as they won a championship.'' You voiced your frustration making your mother tut her head.

''You're being so hard on them Y/N let then relax its only been 2 weeks. Lay off.'' Your mother insists knowing how uptight you could be fun was not in your vocabulary. Only when you were intoxicated which you'll see what I mean eventually.

''I agree stop being a tight arseeeee Y/NNNNN.'' Tobias sung getting all in your face causing you to shove him away and he falls backwards making your father let out a belly full laugh.

Tobias groans in agony getting from the ground clutching the back of his head, a grimace on his face.'' You're so damn aggressive.''

''Karmas a bitch ain't it huh.''

'' Y/N language.'' Your father reminded you.

''See this is why you don't have a boyfriend.''

The smirk had dropped from you face quicker than a ice cream on a hot day. You stood up from the couch and began tying your hair up. Sure your brother was almost a whole foot taller than you and had longer legs.

But you could take him down any day with your strength. He'll always be little bro, and respectfully he's gonna learn today.

''Y/N IM SORRY-"'

He screamed out and began running like a mad man you followed his lead.

"Whatever you do don't kill our son Y/N!''

┊ ˚➶ ｡˚

Authors note: And just like that I have published another imagine this has been sitting here for awhile so I am glad its out there. I hope you all liked it!🤎

[hypnotiiize]

𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 

   𝘪𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘫𝘶𝘥𝘦 𝘪𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘢𝘴 𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘴 𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘴

𝐣𝐮𝐝𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐚𝐦 𝐱 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

   𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘥𝘶𝘤𝘪𝘯𝘨... 𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫!𝐉𝐮𝐝𝐞

𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: this is based on a literal Vybz Kartel song but it’s named after a Kelis song. and if you’re not caribbean or from nyc and know nothing abt Vybz … just know i put u on 🙏🏽 also this is gonna be the first instance of what i like to call After!Jude u gon get me soon enough 🤞🏽 + i wrote jude like a man FR so buckle in ❤️

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: cheating, items thrown, self h*rm ideation, smoking cigs around babies — it was a diff time ya just vibe w me but also DONT smoke around babies 

     Long ago, she’d grown accustomed to the wooden tobacco scent of cigarettes and the way that they seeped into the necks of her most durable shirts. In her earliest memories, she would be sat between her grandmother’s legs and the older woman would be braiding her hair for school. Her grandmother, a rather young woman considering her title, balanced a lanky cigarette between her lips as she added barrettes to the ends of her hair before moving on to the next braid. Now, the eye-stinging, lung-burning, herby smell of cigarette smoke reminded her of easier times– of the hairs at the nape of her neck being roughly brushed up into a plait, of her face being slathered in Vaseline, of her grandmother’s roughened voice chastising her grandchildren for running in her house. 

She smoked her very first cigarette at the age of sixteen. As she placed the cigarette between her lips, she thought of the woman she had lost four years prior whose heavy hands would spoon-feed her gently. Her grandmother. She thought of the woman’s comforting words and sloppy kisses and head pats and Sunday breakfasts for her and all of her cousins. As she’d puffed the cigarette for the very first time, she easily recalled braids and the smell of the hair grease and that one Godforsaken red brush with the roughest bristles she’d ever felt in her life. As she’d exhaled, she’d been slapped with the clearest image of her grandmother she’d seen since the woman was alive. In truth, the woman had begun to slip her mind as the clock ticked by, though as she smoked her very first cigarette she swore she’d felt the warmth of the woman’s aged hands on her back, rubbing soothingly. 

At eighteen, she kicked the habit. It was bad for aging and her fear of lung problems stemmed from the matriarch she’d loved so much. She cried for days at the absence of her grandmother’s presence, finding her lost in the haze of the sweet-smelling smoke. Still, she threw out her pack of Newports and grew used to the dull state of living without her first best friend.

The next time she would see her grandmother was when she was twenty, as the cigarette between her lips lit fiery red at its tip and the stingingly familiar scent– something akin to perfume to her– wafted around her head. Where others smelled cigarette smoke, instead she smelled comfort. She smelled hair grease and pancakes and her grandmother’s home, and when she pressed her eyes shut, she could even imagine herself waking up in the mornings in her grandmother’s arms– she could see the dust particles swaying around her, she could even feel the grainy fabric of her grandmother’s orange curtains between her two fingers. 

When her eyes opened after two long minutes of her childhood, her boyfriend of three years stood in the doorway with furrowed brows and a bothered look in his deep brown eyes. She had been crying long before then.

“You’re smoking again?” was the first thing Jude said. He shook his head, his lips downturned as if he’d tasted something disgusting. He had been the one that pushed for her to leave cigarettes alone. As an athlete, he had to be well averse to the effects of drugs on the human body– plus, he’d hated feeling as if he was kissing a truck driver.

She did not answer him. The truth was evident. She just closed two fingers around the Newport and flicked her thumb against the butt of it, watching wistfully as its ashes fell out of the window to the grass below. For a moment, she wished she could fall in the same way: no longer feeling the painful burn in her chest. Silent. Graceful. And then, stable. 

“Hello?” Jude spoke once more, sounding offended by her brush-off. “You don’t hear me or something?” 

She placed the cigarette between her lips and squinted her eyes at the passing cars as she inhaled. 

“Hello,” Jude said again, lower this time as he wrapped his hand around her wrist and turned her to him. When she tugged her arm from him, his eyebrows rose to his hairline. “What’s wrong with you?” he asked, nose scrunched at the cloud of smoke she expelled from her lips. “Did I do something wrong? Why aren’t you speaking?”

There was a split second– a split, split second– where she pondered laughing in his face, finding irony in the question she, too, had been asking herself since her eyes had cracked open. 

Did I do something wrong? 

When had she stopped being enough? When had Jude stopped fawning over the sway of her hips? When had he grown tired of the sweetness of her skin on his tongue? When had he decided that her love was expendable? 

Why hadn’t he told her?

Having had the whole day to muse, their house still and void of the feelings that had once lived there with the two, she’d decided that he had stopped loving her wildly sometime a year ago. She’d sipped wine and recalled the time she had attempted to type his password into his phone and found herself locked out. She had only wanted to go to his pictures and upon her eyebrows knitting together in the middle of her forehead, Jude wrapped his arms around her and skillfully distracted her with kisses to her chest. The next time she’d gone to open his phone his password had been changed back, and she questioned, briefly, if it had even happened. She’d known it had. 

That second time a year ago, when she’d grabbed his phone, she’d found a picture of herself set as his lock screen. It was something he’d snapped on one of their first dates, back when he would buy her bouquets of flowers and invite her with him everywhere he went, unwilling to part from her. She recalled wanting to be flattered at the gesture, wanting to see the change of photos as a declaration of his love. She knew it wasn’t. Eventually, when her uneasiness had become obvious to Jude, he’d even made a show of allowing her face to unlock his phone, “for emergency purposes,” he’d said, though she knew he meant to shut her up. She felt shame, now, at the fact that that had worked, then. 

Even if her original estimation had been off, she'd thought that the constant pinging of his cell phone that began four weeks ago was the definite answer to her question. By then, Jude no longer smiled at her quirks the way he once did– instead, there was only the irked expression on his face as she tripped or stumbled over her words. When he kissed her, it was offhandedly, like one would an aunt they saw at every family get-together. He would be too busy to go to restaurants with her, though somehow free enough to party with his teammates and friends every night.

Such had been the case the night before when Jude pressed a chaste kiss to the right of her lips and told her he would be going out with his friends. He had stopped asking her if she wanted to accompany him long before then; she had even been glad for it, she did not think she could sit through another one of his eye rolls when she told him that she couldn’t, as she had important schoolwork to finish. In more recent times, when she had been on top of her coursework, she had wanted to party with him but could not bring herself to beg for the attention of the man she lived with. 

Thus, each time, she would be left to observe remnants of his night on the stories of his friends. There were four in total, not including Jude. Jamal, who Jude had played football with since they were children. Whitney, who Jude had gone to school with. Daniel, who Whitney had grown up with. And Amelia, who had started off as a friend that Jude allowed her to invite in the beginning so that she would not feel uncomfortable. Now, they were their own thing– Daniel, Whitney, Jamal, Jude, and Amelia were all one big, partying friend group who truly were not compatible at all. 

And so, despite the bitter prickle somewhere in her chest from being left at home, she could not help but be thankful that she would not have to fake laugh with people she was not truly comfortable with. Instead, she watched their stories: Daniel would post himself and Jude with drinks in their hands. Whitney would post pictures of all of them standing shoulder to shoulder, grinning at the camera. Jamal would not post at all. Amelia, the girl she’d grown up with, would post a video of herself and Whitney singing to the blaring music. 

Last night, just before he left, Jude’s cell phone vibrated and lit up on the nightstand. She had been standing over a foot away reaching for the pajama shirt she’d laid out on the quilt of their bed. She instinctively glanced at his phone when she straightened, mouth falling open as it promptly unlocked itself upon registering her face. She’d read the message there before she could stop herself, her heart dropping to her stomach and heating up the acid there tenfold. 

She’d waited for the slam of the front door before FaceTiming the only one in Jude’s friend group that she’d found herself fond of after all those years. 

Jamal picked up on the first ring. 

“You going out tonight?” she’d asked quickly, hoping for him to say yes despite the fact that he was in his pajamas.

Jamal had snorted. “No. Why?” 

“Nothing, nothing. I just– I just wanted to know if you could keep an eye on something for me,” she’d struggled to say, still shaken by the conclusion she’d leaped to upon seeing the text on Jude’s lock screen. 

“Keep an eye on something for you?” Jamal had repeated after her confusedly. “Are you okay?” When she didn’t answer after a long minute of calculating her next step, he’d said warningly, “Hey, I’m watching American Horror Story and I’m kind of spooked right now, so please don’t be so cryptic.”

Upon her recollection of the events, Jamal had assured her that she was caught up in her own anxieties. Jude, for everything he was, was not as low down as she suspected him to be– and if he was, Jamal would set him straight immediately. Still, as the lines in her forehead deepened, Jamal promised he would remain attentive to every interaction he would witness thereafter. When he hung up after five long minutes of prying about her mental state, she was left with the deafening silence of their bedroom and the frigid vacancy of the left side of their bed.

Now, she watched Jude’s broad shoulders rise and fall with his every breath and wondered if he had ever felt as if someone were pressing talons into his lungs, piercing the organ and suffocating him from the inside out– this, of course, being exactly what she had been feeling since she’d woken up gripping the last remnant of him, his pillow, to her body. 

“Jude,” she began slowly, her voice raspy from all the screaming she’d done hours ago, having had no clue when he would find his way home. His eyebrows raised, a sign of his attention. She tilted her head and attempted to keep her voice leveled, eyes filled with sorrow as she asked the question she had long since known the answer to. 

“You fucked her?” 

Jude looked as if he’d had whiplash. His eyes were wide, his adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. “Huh?” 

“You fucked her, Jude?” she asked again, voice filled to the brim with desperation. 

“No,” he said quickly, and his answer twisted the knife his absence had lodged into her abdomen long ago.

“How do you know who I’m talking about, then?” she whispered these words, and Jude shook his head. She shook hers, too. “If you don’t know who I’m talking about, why are you saying ‘no,’ already?” Her voice was gentle. 

Jude swallowed once more. “No, I’m just saying, like– no, I didn’t sleep with anyone. I wouldn’t sleep with anyone ever, baby, you know that. I meant, like, no-no not no-no,” he rushed, his words as disorganized as the room they stood in. 

“They saw you, Jude,” she breathed. 

“Who?” he asked. 

“Kiara and Destiny, Jude,” she told him of her best friends, who had gone out of their way to go to the same club as him the night before.

At this, Jude’s eyes rolled to the back of his head, having never found himself fully in her best friends’ good graces. He went to grab her hand. His fingers merely managed to swipe against hers before she snatched them away. “Baby,” he said at that, frowning deeply, “They’re lying. You know they don’t like me.”

So, Jude hadn’t seen it: the headlines and pictures and tweets. She could tell from the peaceful look in his eyes despite the prominent dark circles there from the sleep he had apparently gone without. As she stared at the man she’d grown up with, the man she’d sworn would see her through both sickness and health, she could only feel the incessant need to tighten her hands around her neck and pierce the skin there, longing for the fruitfulness of physical pain rather than the turmoil of her thoughts. She didn’t. Instead, she spoke past the burn in her throat.

“They’re not lying,” was all she could say, incapable of bringing up the articles that had hurt her to scour through. 

“Yeah? They’re not lying? Then tell them to come here and say that in front of me, since you swear they’re not lying,” he called her bluff. It was only then, as she watched him adamantly refuse the facts she’d presented to him, that she realized how many other times he must have lied to her mid-argument. Only this time, she’d had enough proof to make her feel comfortable in simply blinking at him as he denied everything, not having to concern herself with whether or not she believed him. 

In his haste to prove himself, he went on, saying, “Go ahead. Call ‘em, tell them to come,” knowing she wouldn’t. And in the past this may have worked– in the past, she may have felt silly for even suggesting such a thing.

In the present, she had one last suitcase to pack. 

“You fucked her, Jude,” she exhaled simply, tiredly. She took one last, long drag from her cigarette before tapping it out on the windowsill and maneuvering around the man before her. Her suitcase lay sprawled open on the bed that would soon become solely his, the sheets too tainted for her to even think of bringing with her despite her love for them.

“What are you doing?” Jude asked as she opened the closet and removed her sweaters from the white hangers there. “What are you doing?” he asked once more as she began to fold them and place them in her suitcase. When she laid a sweatshirt down, Jude’s large hand grabbed it and flung it onto her pillow. “Baby, I didn’t fuck her,” he insisted fervently.

“How do you know who I’m talking about, Jude? If you didn’t fuck anyone,” she lilted, her eyes low as she folded another sweatshirt. When she placed that one in the suitcase, Jude threw that one out, too. 

“I mean, I didn’t fuck anyone, baby!” he revised.

She folded her third sweatshirt. “You fucked her.”

He threw out the third sweatshirt. “Who? Who did I fuck, then?! Since you swear you know so much!” he shouted, a crease between his eyebrows as he pressed them together.

“Amelia.”

There was a beat in which no one spoke, and she wished, for a moment, that he had denied that name as aggressively as he’d been doing everything else just a minute before. Instead, when she glanced at him, she only found him with his lips sucked into his mouth as his eyes shut. His right hand had even constricted into a fist around her favorite hoodie. When he caught himself, he flung it at his own pillow.

“I didn’t fuck her,” he swore, quieter this time.

“You fucked her, Jude.”

“Oh my fucking God,” he hissed and then rolled his neck. The next he spoke, he was bellowing with his hands pressed together, “I didn’t! Fuck her!” 

“Jude! You fucked her!” she spat just as suddenly as he, though ten times louder for the sake of it, finding that her chest had grown hot from his audacity to raise his voice at her.  

“I said I didn’t fuck her! Why the fuck won’t you just listen to m– stop putting shit in this stupid suitcase!” He lifted the suitcase easily and tossed it onto the floor, having found himself fed up with the umpteenth sweater she’d neatly folded despite the bubbling tensions. 

“Destiny and Kiara saw you, Jude. They saw you,” she sighed, opting to continue to fold the rest of her belongings and lay them on the pristine white quilt the two had once slept on. 

“Yeah, well, your friends talk too fucking much, anyway,” was his curt reply. He caught himself when her right eye twitched and her head began to slowly raise to squint at him. He hastily added, “And they’re lying, too.”

She did not dignify him with a response. There was only the quiet sigh that she pressed from her nostrils and the rustling of the clothes in her hands. 

Jude’s eyes rolled as she placed another pleated sweater on their comforter. He grabbed that one quickly, too, throwing it onto the headboard before bounding the bed toward her. He stood four inches from her, yet she did not bat an eye– her gaze remained downcast, focused on the fabrics she could feel between her fingers. Jude reached for her hand. “Baby,” he drawled, “I never had sex with Amelia, baby. I would never do that to you. Baby? You hear me?” His words fell on deaf ears. 

She shifted away from him and placed her sweatshirt on their bed. 

This time, Jude’s hand caught hers. He began to toy with her fingers the way he used to. His voice was soft, tentative as if the revelation had hurt him in the same way it had hurt her. “Call Jamal,” he proposed earnestly. “He was there with us last night, he can tell you.” 

She felt as if she were suffocating in the room they’d decorated together all those months ago, as now, the man she loved looked her directly in her eyes and fabricated a story. She wondered, momentarily, why her boyfriend was so confident in his ability to deceive her. How many times had he done it before? How many times had she been made the fool? How long had he slipped lies into an everyday conversation for her to consume, content with poisoning her from the inside out?

She blinked, pulling her hand from his. “Oh. Jamal was with you last night?” she asked deliberately. 

Jude nodded. “Yes. We all went out, baby. You know that.”

“That’s so funny,” she hummed, eyeing the way her hands began to tremble. She could hear her voice quivering. She could feel her chest shaking. She faced Jude, then, struggling to square her shoulders before the man who towered over her. “That’s so funny,” she repeated, louder this time. She let her words wash over him for three seconds before continuing. “‘Cause Jamal was actually the one that called me and told me that Amelia called him and told him that you and her had fucked last night! So.”

Jude sucked his lips into his mouth at this. 

She chuckled at the turn of events. “Not to mention, when I FaceTimed Jamal last night he was in his pajamas getting ready for bed.” At Jude’s measured silence, she shook her head, a smile splitting on her face. “Look at you, just standing there looking stupid. Thank God for iPhones. You would’ve had me looking real dumb,” she spit this before snatching more hangers from the closet. She stepped around Jude, hurling her clothes into her opened suitcase, hangers be damned.

Jude swiveled in his spot, and when he spoke, his voice was high-pitched. “Baby! I wouldn’t lie to you! I’m not lying to you!” he lied.

She scoffed, finding that her fingers were itching for a cigarette to sit between them, to soothe the nerves he’d shot up before he even stepped foot in what was once their home. After a while, she could only sigh. 

“I’m leaving, Jude,” she stated, her conclusion as simple as her words. “You can have this whole house to yourself and Amelia, but I gotta go.”

“Baby,” he began, tone dipped in syrup as he flocked to her side. He placed his hand on her cheek and lifted her face. Her eyes met his, void of their usual warmth. “Hey, listen. I love you, okay? Don’t leave. Please don’t leave.”

“Get off of me.” She lifted her chin from his palm. 

“Baby, she’s lying,” he declared, his fingers gripping at his hair. “I don’t know why she told Jamal that! She’s fucking lying, baby, you can’t believe her!”

She squinted at him severely, slowly asking, “Why would she lie about that, Jude?”

“I don’t know! Maybe she just likes to lie!” he suggested, an octave away from whining. 

Her fingernails dug into the flesh of her palms and for a split second, she contemplated arson. She harkened back to the conversations she would hear her cousins having as they spoke of their boyfriends, thinking of how abysmal their excuses were when they would get caught in lies. She remembered just how content she had felt, confident of both Jude and the amount of respect Jude had for her– if he would ever lie, he would care enough to make the lie excellent and not be so bad at thinking on his toes for the sake of their relationship. Color her shocked at his less-than-logical, stuttered responses. He had not even thought of her and their courtship enough to lie effectively, and therefore, she did not have any more words for him. 

She continued to pack.

Jude placed his head in his hands and groaned loudly, scrubbing a palm down his face. “I hate that girl, bro,” he snarled, shaking his head into his wrists. He straightened and pinched the bridge of his nose with two fingers, inhaling for four long seconds and exhaling for just as long. When he gathered himself, he found her at the head of their bed, tossing the sweatshirts he’d strewn there into her opened luggage. He gulped at the dull look in her pretty eyes. 

“Baby,” he started gently, “She’s lying. I’m telling you, she’s lying. She’s lying.”

She stood on her toes and flicked her wrist as she tossed her sweater, thinking of yelling, “Kobe!” in the midst of her attempt to drown out Jude’s words.

“She’s lying. I can prove to you she’s lying. I can prove it,” Jude persisted. He patted his hands against his thighs before pulling out his car keys. He gripped them tight in his palm as he said, “Okay, baby. You stay here, I’m gonna go see her again to sort all this out–”

“Again?” 

Jude choked on air. “Huh?”

“Again? You said, ‘again’?” she echoed, her eyebrows raised as she gawked at his slip-up. 

 His jaw slackened. “Huh?”

“You said you’re gonna go see her ‘again’?” she repeated his words, smiling despite the way her chest had caught fire as she slow-walked to the middle of the room. “When was the first time you saw her, Jude? Since ‘she’s lying.’ Why d’you gotta go see her ‘again’? Hm?”

He blinked dazedly, looking first to his left and then to his right. “Huh?”

“What, you don’t hear me?!” she laughed loudly. “You said you gotta see her ‘again.’ So you saw her already, right?!”

“Huh? What?” was all he could say. 

“Yeah, huh,” she mocked, bending at her waist and grabbing the silver zipper on her luggage. She could see Jude standing awkwardly in its reflection, his hands raised slightly in the air as he stumbled to his next response. She rolled her eyes as she closed her bag. She hoisted her suitcase onto its wheels while she stood, rolling past him wordlessly to the front of the house. She opened the closet there, tugging out the suitcases she had placed there hours ago in an effort to gather all of her possessions in one place without Jude’s interference– though she had not known then that he would even be home that early. Had she known, she would have bid the house farewell with some loud music and a slice of cake rather than the piercing screams the four walls had to sit through earlier. 

She longed to say goodbye to each nook and cranny that she had seen every day for the past year. She longed to brush her hands against the smooth marble island wistfully, longed to recall the dishes she and Jude had made there– though now, she knows, those memories of the two of them moving around each other easily as they cooked would be forever marred. She longed to rub her fingers along the sofa they’d picked out together, longed to rest her head on its armrest once more before departing. She longed to feel at home in their home. 

Jude grabbed her wrist and twisted her to him, finding that the view of her bags by the front door had made his heart palpitate in a nauseating way. “So you’re just gonna leave based on what someone else said?” he spat. “You’re not even giving me a chance to, like, defend myself– you’re just leaving! You’re letting everyone lie to you! So, you don’t care about me? Is that it?” His gaze poured into hers as his voice softened. “You’re just gonna let everyone lie to you and you’re gonna believe them over me?”

She felt as if she was going to be sick. “No one’s lying to me, Jude,” she said, removing her arm from his.

He grabbed her again, his fingers gentle around her flesh in spite of the gravel in his tone. 

She could have even pulled away once more if she wanted to. She didn’t. 

“So tell me how you know, then,” he rasped, the scent of him overtaking her senses. “Tell me how you know no one’s lying. Tell me why you’re so quick to believe everyone but your boyfriend of three years. Tell me,” demanded Jude. 

There was a tug at the back of her throat. She had to raise her gaze to the ceiling to stop the sting in her eyes. Not for the first time, she wished for a cigarette. 

“She texted you last night, Jude,” she revealed.

His face fell despite the fact that he had already been frowning, his sharp gaze growing blunt. “You went through my phone?” 

“No, I didn’t go through your fucking phone, Jude,” she snapped, yanking her arm from his at this. A small fraction of her found humor in how panicked he looked: his eyes wide, his chest heaving, his rich brown skin slightly paled in pallor. However, the majority of her wanted to bust the windows out of his car, and thus the humor would remain lost on her at that moment. She scoffed. “The stupid shit lit up last night when you were getting ready and I saw her fucking text you.”

He shook his head disbelievingly. “You went through my phone.”

“I didn’t go through your fucking phone!” she said and her labored breath caught in the next moment, a thought occurring to her. “Should I have gone through your phone?!” she asked, peering at him through narrowed eyes, daring him to slip up once more.

“That’s not important,” he dismissed with a casual wave of his hand. Her chest felt as if it were molten lava. “What’d the text say, then? ‘Cause I didn’t see a text, so I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he insisted, unbeknownst to the fact that she had observed quietly in the corner of their bedroom as his lips had tugged into a smirk at the sight of Amelia’s text. 

She thought once more of pressing her nails into her throat, the weight of his lies threatening the strength of her resolve. Her shoulders shuddered as she recalled the words that had appeared below the picture of her on his lock screen. You gonna see me again tomorrow? Or today? When she recited this to Jude, he gulped.

“Baby, I don’t know what you’re talking about. You gotta believe me,” he begged. “I’m lost! Just like you are!”

“Sure you are,” she mumbled weakly, grabbing her collection of coats from the closet beside the front door. She laid them over her arm as Jude latched onto the handle of her suitcase and pulled it a yard away from her. 

He placed himself in front of the suitcase, next, barring her from leaving both the house and his life. “I didn’t have sex with her!” he swore desperately.

“Jude!” She was shouting now. “Stop fucking lying to me! Stop lying! You look stupid, stop lying! You fucked her! Just shut up already!” 

“But you’re not even letting me defend myself!” he boomed, and she felt as if his voice had shaken the walls. “No matter what I say, you won’t believe me!”

“Because you’re fucking lying!” she screeched, her hands balled into fists. 

He groaned, his hands on his head once more as he did a three-sixty. “Oh my fucking God, you keep saying that shit!” He leaned forward, his palms facing the sky as he asked, “Who the fuck is saying I’m fucking lying?! ‘Cause they’re the ones that are lying!”

“Destiny and Kiara, Jude! Destiny and Kiara! My best friends saw you!” Then, just before he could say that her friends had an elaborate ploy to get him out of her life, she soldiered on, “And Jamal told me! Jamal told me, Jude! Amelia told Jamal, and he told me! Not to mention the people on Twitter that are tagging me in shit! So, you’re done, Jude! You’re caught! I’m leaving, move on!” 

“You’re not going anywhere because I’m not lying!” he hollered his claim.

“Oh yeah?” she challenged.

He nodded cockily. “Yeah.”

“You’re not lying?”

Again, he nodded. “I’m not lying.”

“Mm,” she hummed, nodding once before she pressed the plushy pad of her index finger to the middle of her lips. 

She wondered, briefly, how she would go about her next move. Would she scream, in hopes that her voice would penetrate his skin and cause him the pain she felt? Would she cry, in hopes that her sobs would awaken something within him and he would come to, shaken at the sound of her in pain? Would she throw the nearest object at his temple? 

In the end, she merely tilted her head at him at a forty-five-degree angle and asked knowingly, “Then what’s that hickey on your neck, Jude?” 

In the distance, a pin dropped.

She had, admittedly, caught the maroon-colored bruise just above his collarbone the moment the cigarette smoke had dissipated from the air between them– just after she’d watched the ashes connect themselves to the dew on the vibrant grass. She had been too caught up in the fact that it had been exactly where Jude’s spot was to speak on it, too caught up in the fact that whoever he had been with– and she knew who he had been with, she had known her before she had become a woman– had known him well enough to know his body. She had imagined Amelia sucking at the skin above his collarbone familiarly in the same way that she had once done, back when the sight of Jude did not make her want to rip each strand of hair from her head one by one.  

Jude leaned his ear forward, feigning as if he had not heard. “Huh?” 

“Yeah, huh. I said, what’s that hickey on your neck?” she reiterated, surprisingly jovial for such a situation. 

Jude’s eyebrows knit in the middle of his forehead. “What hickey on my neck?”

She just smiled. “That hickey on your neck,” she said, pointing to the skin on full display. He had not even had the respect to dab some concealer over it or fix his collar. She chuckled. 

Jude turned to the mirror beside the front door, craning his neck to see the stretch of skin she was referring to. Russet eyes widened considerably at the sight of the reddened mark, his fingers pressing against it for two long seconds before he gathered himself. 

“Oh, that?” he began, smacking his lips together. “That’s not a hickey!”

“That’s not?” she played along.

He smacked his lips together again. “No.”

She tilted her head further, crossing one hand over the other as she squinted at him judgmentally, questioning just how far he would spin the web of lies he rested within. “What is it, then, Jude?” she asked.

His eyes widened and he shrugged as if the answer were glaringly obvious. 

“A mosquito bite!”

There was a pregnant pause as she processed his excuse, her jaw hanging slightly ajar while she nodded slowly, realizing only then just how absolutely dumb the man before her was. She had always overlooked it, citing his lack of logic on something that he did solely to make her laugh. Instead, the truth of Jude was less charming than she had chopped it up to be: where she envisioned a well-calculated, suave footballer instead lived a boy still stuck in his teen years, ditzy in treacherous ways. 

Reality had punched her smack dab in her mouth, splitting her lip open upon contact. Now, she could taste the iron there, pooling around her teeth with each of Jude’s lies. 

Still, against her better judgment, she chuckled. “Jude…” 

“What? It’s a mosquito bite!” he maintained.

“Yeah?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest. He nodded. “Mm. So, where were you that a mosquito bit you last night, Jude? Where were you in the winter that you got a mosquito bite? And quickly.”

Jude replied, “Babe, you know the club is by water.”

“Oh, it’s the club’s fault now. Which club?” she quizzed.

“Uh, Lavender Lounge.”

“Hm.” She shook her head, her lips twisted up. She made a show of eyeing the ceiling skeptically, tapping her chin for good measure. “That’s definitely not where Destiny and Kiara saw you, but okay.”

Jude squeezed his eyes shut at that. She simpered, well aware that he had forgotten that piece of information having been too caught up in sustaining everything else he had said. 

“No, baby, I meant the Realm,” he corrected eventually.

Her smile grew, dazzling now. “Oh, the Realm. You mean the club that’s right by Amelia’s house? That one? That Realm?”

Jude appeared perturbed. “No, I meant–”

“‘Cause I’m thinking it’s that Realm,” she laughed humorlessly. The next time she spoke, her chuckles had progressed into full-blown giggles, her shoulders shaking despite the salty liquid collecting at her waterline. “‘Cause, y’know, I’m thinking you took your cheating ass to that Realm and met up with Amelia so you guys could fuck. That’s what I’m thinking, but I’m really just spit-balling here.”

“Baby, calm down,” was how he chose to respond. 

Her reaction was instantaneous: she flinched, his words delivering a swift deck to her mouth in the same way reality had. Her brain vibrated against her skull at the impact of them. The pool of blood there only developed, dribbling from between her lips and falling onto the necklace he had bought her for their first anniversary. 

She could only see red.  

“Calm down?” she parroted, speaking through clenched teeth. “Calm. Down?! You cheat on me and you’re gonna tell me to ‘calm down’? Are you out of your fucking mind?!” she exploded, rolling up one of the coats in her arms and beaming it straight at his head. It smacked against his temple before thudding to the ground, though by then she had already thrown the next one. Jude was ducking as she shrieked, “And then you’re gonna cheat with Amelia of all people? Are you fucking crazy?!”

“No, baby, she’s lying!” he said as another puffer pelted him. He never imagined that such a fluffy jacket could cause such a sting. 

“Amelia of all fucking people?!” she screamed, seizing her house slipper from her foot before flinging it at him with her dominant arm, too upset to risk the fifty-fifty chance of missing him. It smacked him right against the supposed mosquito bite above his collarbone and he let out a short yelp. “Of all fucking people! Fucking Amelia! You must’ve lost your mind!” 

“Wait, wait, wait, okay, okay, okay,” Jude rushed, hands outstretched in front of him in an attempt to block the next item she would hurl. She stood barefoot in their foyer, her second slipper waiting patiently in her palm to be launched. Her eyes widened as she raised the slipper, a threat that he quickly took heed of. He caught his breath quickly, his next words cautious. “Okay. Baby. Listen. I-I think I have a solution, okay?” he said. 

“Shut up!” The house shoe thwacked against the left side of his chest.

“Geez! Stop throwing slippers at me!” 

“You’d rather a Timberland?!”

“Baby! Please! Just listen to me!” he beseeched, and though she felt as if she would sob from the searing pain his infidelity had forced into their home, she thought of the boy she fell in love with and agreed. Jude thanked her graciously. “I think I have a solution. Okay? Just hear me out, please. Please?” He waited for her shoulders to wilt and her hands to unfurl. 

Jude’s lips parted and her heart cracked. She could not lie to herself any longer: she desperately wished that the next words that fell from his plump lips would be ones that she could believe in. She wanted, more than anything, to fall into his arms and break against his chest, to cry into his biceps and apologize profusely for jumping to incorrect conclusions, despite the fact that she had seen the pictures and videos from the club. Despite the fact that she had heard the answers fall from Jamal’s mouth when he frantically called out of her sleep. His actions were set in stone. Her fate would rely on the next thing he said. 

“I’ll let you get back at me one good time to get it out of your system and then we can all just forget this happened,” Jude posed. 

And with this, she swore, something shattered in her chest. She felt the shards of it succumb to gravity and stab at the insides of her feet, the pain stinging and sore and yet still a reminder that she was still alive– that she was still real, not yet ashes collecting on the grass. 

He smiled weakly at her, attempting to gauge her reaction despite the hollow expression in her eyes. “Okay? So that you can’t be angry. Not that I’m saying I cheated or anything,” he threw in swiftly, catching his implied admission. “But since you think I did, I’ll let you cheat, too, so that it’s even! It’s like an eye for an eye, right? Even though I didn’t cheat. So, you cheat back–” (he had not realized he’d said ‘back.’ She was left to note this mentally, too drained to point it out) “–and then just,” he shrugged simply, “Don’t leave.”

“Jude, please get away from me,” was all she could say, unsteady on her feet as if she’d been out drinking the night before instead of him. She almost wished she had. Maybe, then, he would be the one praying for something, anything, to end his suffering– to wake him up and assure him that it was all a bad dream. Maybe he would feel the burn in his chest and the shake in his hands and the stabs in his feet. Maybe he would handle it better than her. Maybe, if the roles were reversed, he would not wish to die. 

“Baby?” he tried. 

“Give me my shit, Jude,” she ordered, extending her hand for the suitcase. 

This time, Jude did not fight her. He gnawed on the inside of his cheek as he rolled the luggage over to her, gaze falling in shame at the way her fingers deftly avoided brushing against his. Just as his mouth fell open, his one last shot at getting her to stay with him– a long shot, he knew, but still a shot after all– seven rhythmic knocks hit the front door and he knew his time was up. Her two best friends streamed in, silent as they gathered her things and carried them to the car they’d parked out front. 

He waited until the second to last bag was guided outside before clearing his throat, speaking past the lump that had cultivated there. “Where are you gonna go?” he asked, more for his sake than hers.

“That’s none of your business,” she replied icily. 

“But,” his voice quivered, “Baby, I love you.”

“Jude, I don’t care.”

The cool breeze of the afternoon did little to nothing to tame the burning sensation burrowing beneath her brown skin, and just before she reached her best friend’s car, she bent forward and threw her long braids into a high bun, finding that the feel of it all around her was only proving to suffocate her more. She blew a kanekalon end from her vision, taking a moment to study the houses across the street. Husbands and wives, mothers and fathers, grandmothers and grandfathers– and now, in the house that was once theirs, just Jude. 

He called her name and her head whipped to the doorway. Her name on his tongue had always felt foreign. Now, she welcomed it. She had grown sick of the constant babys, nauseous at the insincerity of his tone and the slow way he would push the name past his lips.

“Are you serious about this?” he asked after following her onto the lawn, getting just close enough so that she could see the water in his reddened brown gaze. He sniffled. “Are you really going to leave me? Even though I told you I didn’t do it? A-And even if I did do it, would you really leave me that quickly?” He shook his head. A tear fell to his full lips. “You must’ve never loved me if you can leave this fast. Have you just always hated me? Huh? Do you hate me? Just tell me, please, I can take it.”

This was his latest tactic, she knew: crying and accusing her of hating him so that she could wrap her arms around his neck and fawn over him. She could only nod politely at the sight of his tears, so brand new and yet not nearly adding up to the amount she had shed ever since their home had reverted to the listing they’d found it under. 

She just patted his arm. “Keep your head up, man.”

He did not speak as she slinked into the passenger seat. He did not speak as the engine revved. He did not speak as the car took off. There was only his soulless stare as she left his life– and this was when she began to second-guess herself, unable to fathom the man she thought she would marry not having any parting words for her. At the wobble of her bottom lips, her best friend turned up the City Girls song in an effort to cheer her up. As JT rapped about needing a man who would swipe his visas, she placed a cigarette between her lips, sniffling past the sting at the back of her throat and mentally saying one final goodbye to the man she loved. She laughed loudly at her friends’ complaints about the smell, rolling the window all the way down and deciding to savor what she hoped would be the final nicotine pull of her life. 

The cigarette smoke trailed out of the passenger seat window, and she watched as the life that she knew grew minuscule in the side-view mirror there. She tasted wooden herbs and felt the burn at the back of her throat, drowning the sting of tears there– and then she felt her grandmother’s hand on her back, soothing her in a way that only the woman could. 

She leaned her head back and the next drag was longer. When she opened her eyes, there was only the familiar smoke around her head, and then the baby-blue sky.

[awritessomething]

I have absolutely no ideas for writing whatsoever pleaseplease leave requests!!! Smut, angst, fluff, whatever y’all want I can probably do.

Ill write for these people and probably more that I forgot (all male character x fem!reader) :

Formula 1:

Max Verstappen

Lando Norris

Oscar Piastri

Charles Leclerc

Pierre Gasly

Lewis Hamilton

Carlos Sainz

Daniel Riccardo

Mick Schumacher

Criminal Minds

Spencer Reid

Aaron Hotchner

Derek Morgan

David Rossi (preferably young)

Marvel:

Bucky Barnes

Tony Stark

Thor

Sam Wilson

Deadpool

Steve Rogers

Spiderman (Tom Holland, Andrew Garfield, Miguel O'hara)

Call of Duty

Keegan Russ

Simon "Ghost" Riley

König

Phillip Graves

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

Star Wars:

Anakin Skywalker

Obi-Wan Kenobi

Kylo Ren

Luke Skywalker

Han Solo

Outer Banks:

JJ Maybank

Rafe Cameron

Topper Thornton

John B. Routledge

Harry Potter:

Harry Potter

Cedric Diggory

Draco malfoy

Ron Weasley

Fred Weasley

Blaise Zabini

Regulus Black

Severus Snape

Tom Riddle

Sirius Black

Lorenzo Berkshire

Oliver Wood

The Walking Dead:

Glenn Rhee

Daryl Dixon

Rick Grimes

Carl Grimes

Miscallaneous:

Jack Champion (Ethan Landry)

Patrick Bateman

Batman (Christian Bale)

Johnathan Crane

Finnick Odair

Josh Hutcherson (Peeta Mellark, Mike Schmidt, Sean Anderson, Clapton Davis)

Rodrick Heffley

Colby Brock

Sam Golbach

Tristan Dugray

Dylan O'brien

Jude Bellingham

Joao Felix

Bellamy Blake

Patrick Dempsey (Derek Shepherd, Ronald Miller)

Joe Goldberg

Timothee Chalamet (Wonka, Paul Atreides)

Minho (The Maze Runner)

Keanu Reeves (John Wick, Neo, Alex Wyler)

Jim Halpert

Farkas

Ulfric Stormcloak

Miraak

Ben Schnetzer (Max Vandenburg, Brad Land, Russ Sheppard)

Brock Purdy

Ralph Macchio (Daniel Larusso, Johnny Cade)

Dallas Winston

Sodapop Curtis

Robby Keene

Zuko (atla dallas liu)

Jet (atla sebastian amoruso)

Cillian Murphy (Johnathan crane, jackson rippner, Neil Lewis)

Evan Peters (all ahs characters, Luke cooper)

What I wont do:

Pedophilia

Beastiality or anything animal-y

Waterworks

Male reader (sorry)

Character x character

Threesomes or anything not 1x1

Character x oc

Specific body types (i just don’t see the point)

Daddy/mommy kinks

Incest or stepcest

(I’ll prob have to add on but its midnight rn)

[bl00dst41ned]

*.·:·.✦ lost and found ✦.·:·.*

pairing: jude bellingham x female oc (named Ryan)

summary: in which Jude makes an awesome discovery

author's note: watched Paddington yesterday and it inspired me this. Jude lives in my mind rent free yet, I'm never writing him.

word count: 1085

The night felt refreshing in the streets of Madrid. Spain was known for its suffocating temperature. To get some air, you had to wait until after sunset. Which is what Jude and his girlfriend, Ryan decided to do. They wandered, hand in hand, observing their new place of residence.

“We should try that” Ryan pointed to the small restaurant selling empanadas.

They entered with no hesitation, greeted in Spanish by the worker. Once they debated on which one to choose, Ryan ordered, in broken Spanish, two different flavours for them to try. The two sat on a bench nearby, to enjoy their little snack, engaging in a small conversation about the new life they were beginning.

Following Jude’s signing to Real Madrid, he asked his longtime partner if she was willing to live with him. Ryan and he had been together since they were 15. She supported him through every big step in his career. Except, for this new one, Jude wanted her to physically be with him every day. Three months later, Ryan had packed her bags to join him.

The couple were now picking up new habits and trying to accustom to the Madrid life.

“So….How’s your Duolingo lessons going?”

Ryan basically forced Jude to learn basic Spanish. For now, he relied on her for every social interaction even though she was not fluent. And she could tell he was comfortable like that and didn’t want it to change.

“Alright I guess” Jude shrugged, rubbing his right eye, something he always did when he was lying to her. Which she knew, too well.

“Jude” Ryan sighed, Jude instantly chuckling, knowing she had caught him. “This green owl has been asking me where you at for the past week”

Somehow Jude had forgotten that the app was on her iPad and connected to her email.

He tried as hard as he could to contain his laugh but failed miserably.

“Don’t laugh” She playfully hit his shoulder, smiling. “You hurt her so much, she stopped texting me”

He stopped and laughed pulling his head down.

“Yeah I went too far, I’ll do it tomorrow”

Once they finished eating, they got up and continued walking. As Ryan observed the architecture around, Jude had come to a halt. She felt her arm being pulled and looked back in confusion.

“What are y- Shhhhh” Jude shushed her with his index finger.

He seemed to be trying to hear something so Ryan just did the same. He let go of her hand now walking towards the sound. He looked behind a flower pot finding what he looked for. He crouched down, Ryan’s curiosity rising. She came behind him checking what had his attention.

There lay a tiny kitten, letting out small meows anybody could barely hear. He seemed to be born recently since his eyes were closed. Jude took him in his hand, slowly petting him.

“Can we bring it home?”

“Jude, he surely has a mother somewhere”

“But…look at him” He looked at her with a pout showing her the kitten on his palm.

“We need to make sure he doesn’t have an owner”

Ryan tried to be rational despite wanting it as much as he did. Obviously, she didn’t want to leave him to die there. They looked around the area, looking for his mother or other kittens somewhere, before being interrupted by a voice.

“El dueño se alejó y los dejó’ An elder woman spoke lowly in Spanish, trying to mimic what she meant, hearing them speak English. “Este debe haber escapado”

With the few words she understood, Ryan figured this kitten had been abandoned. She let Jude know what she said, making him smile since he got to take it home.

They walked back to their home, Jude covering the kitten with both hands, checking on him every now and then. Ryan, on the other side, searched the internet for what they should do to take care of it.

They arrived back home and instantly went to keep the kitten warm. They grabbed a shoe box putting an old shirt inside it. Jude, who had not put down the small animal any time, carefully dropped him off.

Jude took the responsibility to feed him. He poured a bit of water on a spoon carefully as the kitten drank as well as he could. It seemed like Ryan and Jude were mesmerized by it. Their eyes were glued on it, not wanting to miss any moment.

“Is it a boy or a girl?” Ryan asked, tired of calling him an “it”.

“Don’t know, we should go to the vet, tomorrow”

There was no doubt about keeping the kitten or not. Jude picked a cloth using it as a blanket for their new pet. 

“You good, Nugget ?” He cooed to the kitten, calling it the first word that came to mind.

That reminded Ryan how Jude would automatically call animals ‘chicken’ or ‘nugget’ just because. He always gave names to beings when he didn’t know theirs. It felt like he didn’t want to offend them even though they did not understand him one bit.

Both of them catered to the tiny animal for an hour, never taking their eyes off it. Once they decided to go to sleep, Jude placed the shoe box between the cushions, a water bottle and a spoon on his nightstand. Ryan came to the room looking at the homemade pet bed.

“Really Jude?” She straight-faced him as he gave an innocent smile. “We don’t need to be glued to it,”

“But we can”

He ignored her pulling the covers over his body and glancing at the box. She decided to just give up and get in the bed too, admiring her boyfriend. Within two hours, Jude had grown so much love for this little being, already obsessed with it.

“Good night, cutie” He spoke in a sleepy voice, his eyes already closed.

“Goodnight, babe” Ryan replied.

“I was talking to Nugget, but goodnight too, love”

Ryan’s mouth fell open for a few until she decided to accept her fate: Nugget had stolen her boyfriend. She could forget about these Duolingo lessons.

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[bl00dst41ned]

*.·:·.✦ catering day ✦.·:·.*

pairing: jude bellingham x female oc (Ryan)

summary: in which it’s time for Nugget to fully move in in the house and her owners go a bit over the top

author's note: part one here, read it for content. requested by @hummusxx, delivered by me. also some things might not make sense, so like J.Lennon said, imagine. enjoy besties !

warnings/content: a very obsessed Jude, fluff, fluff and more fluff (since I love cute relationships)

word count: 839

The sun was rising, waking Madrid up. On a normal day, Jude and Ryan would have woken up way later and lazed around the house, crushing their screen time. But today was different. Jude had woken up at the crack of dawn, getting ready for the excited day he and his girlfriend were about to have.

“Ray” He softly sang in her ear, his breath tickled her neck making her scrunch her face in her sleep. “Ryan”

“You sound like a serial killer” Ryan mushed his face away, rubbing her eyes open. She wrapped her arms around him hugging him tightly as he left multiple kisses on her neck.

They stayed in this position for a few minutes, Jude almost falling asleep from his girlfriend sweet touch. She ended up letting him go and getting up from the bed.

“Jude, it’s 6 in the morning, why would you wake me up?” She was already on her way back to bed before he quickly grabbed her arm.

“We have to take Nugget to the vet at 9”

Jude had taken it upon himself to book an appointment at the veterinarian, finally putting his few spanish lessons to use. Which surprised Ryan, since he would not try to speak for his life.

The two had gotten ready, now in the car on their way to the vet. While Ryan kept her eyes on the road, Jude kept his on Nugget, his index finger rubbing his growing fur. Ryan took few glances at them and appreciating him bonding with his new pet.

Nugget had been at their house for two days now. Jude stayed glued to it most of the time not even letting Ryan take care of him unless he had practice. They tried to feed it the best they could even buying a syringe so that it was easier but they wanted to give their pet the best care.

Once they arrived at the vet, they waited a few before entering the office. The doctor examined Nugget, trying to determine its age, give appointments for his vaccins and scan it for a microchip. They found out that Nugget was actually a female, was only one week old and probably stayed outside for two to three days. He gave them a brand for cat milk to improve her growth before letting them go. Ryan and Jude left the veterinarian, Nugget stuffed in her box.

………………………..

Jude drove the cart through the pet shop, Ryan’s arm wrapped around his bicep as the couple walked through the aisle. Jude basically wanted to put everything in the cart, Ryan trying to be responsible even though she too wanted to buy the whole place.

She scrolled through her Pinterest looking for ideas as Jude complimented everything.

“Can we create her a little room in our mhouse?” He asked with a wide smile after seeing a picture on her phone.

She gave in, finding it very cute too. They looked through the shop for her furniture. They picked up a green pastel sofa, covers, cushions, everything in mini size. Jude picked up way too many stuffed animals for Nugget showing it to the little animal even though her eyes are still closed.

“Jude, Nugs can not see” Ryan broke his happy bubble making him snap his head towards her, mugging her.

“This is between me and Nugget, mind yours”

He went back into a conversation with his now bestfriend as Ryan looked through essential stuff.

“Look at this collar” She pointed to a baby blue one with clouds.

It only took a second for them to decide to take it with them.

………………………..

They ended up checking out, leaving with a full cart. At home, they immediately choose a bright and calm space in their living room to install her mini room. And they took it very seriously. Ryan drew a sketch of the space, calculating the space with her actual and future size+ while Jude did all the furnishing. Once they were done, they put the final touch, Nugget’s shoe box. Since she seemed to enjoy it, Jude and Ryan agreed to give their shirt for it to become her cover.

“Seems right to me”

They admired their work before looking around at their house.

“We should think about decorating our place too” Jude spoke, pointing at their lack of furniture.

They recently moved in, but did not take the time to buy furniture. Boxes were all around the rooms since they didn’t even had any cabinet to put their stuff into.

“Yeah” Ryan dragged, not motivated at all “Maybe another day”

As they did since they’re together, one’s laziness caused the other’s. The two decided to spend the night watching their signature movie, Paddington, Nugget layed on Ryan’s lap, after an eventful game of rock, paper scissors.

They treated Nugget like their child, spoiling her with everything to give her the warmest home. Nugget’s life had not started easily, making them want to cater her. With her addition, they have now become a family.

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