#just one of those things you try not to talk about with your sentient snail buddies

[scribbleymewzaque]

[biggaybunny]

Stellaris is a fascinating mess of systems that I could talk forever about. For those unaware, it’s a grand strategy game that takes place in a galaxy filled with different alien nations. If you don’t know what a grand strategy game is then google it or something I’m not your mother.

Anyway one of my favorite little tidbits is one of the fundamental underpinnings of how diplomacy works, which is the relationship score. Your relationship with another empire is the sum of two numbers, your opinion of them (on a scale from something like -1500 to 1500 or something like that), and their opinion of you. These two numbers are themselves sums of several different factors such as diplomatic arrangements you’ve made, compatibility of political ideology, frequency with which you bathe, etcetera.

Now the part I want to talk about *specifically* is the basic diplomatic action you almost always have available to you: “Improve Relations”. It’s the most basic idea: you ship over a diplomatic envoy to shake their least slimy tendrils and say nice things about the way they’ve decorated the place. This improves their opinion of you, which as you may remember, makes your relationship as a whole go in the positive direction. Pretty simple.

Now the funny part is that. Well. The developers decided that obviously you need the opposite option. You need a way to say “I DON’T want to be friends with that alien empire, they bathe far too frequently for my tastes”. And what’s the opposite of Improving Relations, of course? Why, Harming Relations! So you. You send them an envoy. Whose entire job is to just... piss these people off. To shake the incorrect tendril and insult their aesthetic senses just because they happen to be a race of sentient cubes. You make them hate you, because you already don’t like them, and I guess you feel awkward about it not being mutual? And the funniest thing is that AI-controlled nations will, of course, use this option! If you’re trying to butter up the powerful, belligerent warmongering star empire next to you because you’re a race of peace-loving snails and you’ve spent this entire time building megamalls in fucking space instead of, like, military installations, that empire will go “oh no you don’t” and send one of their envoys over to start calling you a poopy stinky slimeball, resulting in a net zero change in your relationship score with them. Of course, this means that, technically, they have an extremely high opinion of you after a while, because the envoy you’ve sent over is affecting their opinion, and the one they’ve sent over is affecting yours, but you know, let’s not think too hard about that.

Oh, and there’s uh, already another mechanic for lowering their opinion of you. It’s the “insult” diplomacy option. So you can like, ring up the Borg or whoever, ask them if you can speak to Hugh Jass, and then hang up on them when they yell at you. So the whole system is redundant but nevermind.

Stellaris, everybody!

[a-snow-decahedron]

On Monster Food

Headcanon time again guys! Here I will share what we know about food, and a few ideas of my own that i may or not include when writing because why not? Worldbuilding is fun! Everything will be under the cut!

What do we know? There are a few instances on the game where food is brought up in conversations. From talking to one of the NPCs in Grillby's we learn that the food we eat is different in some aspects, such as:

It doesn't spoil, meaning everything is non-perishable.

It does not go through your body, because when you eat it, it converts perfectly into energy.

It can be commonly eaten in battle

Alright folks! Let's jump to headcanon-zone.

How is food produced? In most aspects it seems to work exactly the same way human food does. It can be homemade, storebought, made using kitchen appliances or with help of magic (like Toriel, Asgore (and likely Grillby seem to do). Now the interesting part is... how they get prime matter for that. Surprisingly, some plants do grow underground. whether they were brought before the sealing or they just naturally occur in the caverns, it is clear that some food can be made that way. Examples of that are the golden flower tea, the hot dogs Sans sells (even if their quality can be questioned) or the seaweed Alphys uses to make ice cream for Undyne.

Other food seems to be made using other organisms like snails, or spiders. This is... kinda weird, because it is... somewhat implied the snails at the Blook Acres and the spiders are sentient. Yet either they consent to being used in food, or perhaps they can replicate part of themselves with magic, and make material bullets. A third option is that simply they use regular insects or animals, but monsters are really careful with them as to not mistreat them and only use them when necessary. This could be what happens with meat, too. It's entirely possible they do keep some livestock in places we never saw. Someone like Asgore, who knows how to take care of plants, probably has some idea on this topic, even more so as a ruler.

I believe some magic intervention occurs with food to make it have those properties. Magic probably works like a glue that keeps food fresh but also makes it dissolve as soon as its eaten and turned into energy. Why does it heal?

Food is energy that goes straight to your soul and then to your body. Eating food provides the enegy your soul needs to heal and enhance the connections it has to the body (imagine each HP like a string that connects soul and body). If the person's healed up, then it can be used to other functions of the body or in magic. Eating when in full HP makes the material contents of the food matter a lot more than they would when you're just using it to heal. Some monsters have a diet rich in proteins, others go more for carbohydrates and so on. Depends on their needs.

Can humans eat monster food?

Yes! I mean, we have tons of examples. Still I wouldn't recommend eating things that you wouldnt if they were material lol and ghost food is out the question. Can monsters eat human food?

Depends. Can they generate the organs within them to make that work? Animal-based monsters are the most likely to be able to eat without much issue but it's a bit heavy for them. Monsters that have less corporeal bodies can try, but it... probably isn't effective or practical. Exhibit A, this cursed attempt of Sans drinking:

Note: i don't think he can reshape his mouth like that when in canon it barely moves but the thing is that well... if you pour a drink that doesnt immediately turn into energy, things get messy.

Ghost simply cannot try untreated human food. Their food has to be magic-based. Similarly, humans are not compatible with ghost food either and it is tasteless for corporeal monsters, based on the Alarm Clock dialogue. One could even argue that non-ghosts can't even perceive it. But that's for a different time!

[animalsatwildlilac]

Power Outage with Bearded Dragon

This beardie has a job. His name is Stripy, and he is a working lizard. His life is full of adventure at Wild Lilac preschool. But he does get weekends off, vacations, and even mental health days, just like me. I think he is lonely when we are not together.

On Thursday, when WL announced an early release because of the winter storm warning, I got the whole day off because I only teach in the afternoons. But I still needed to go in, briefly -- to tend to the animals before the roads got messy.

On the way there, I stopped for supplies at my local pet store, Tropical Hut. I bought 100 crickets and a package of frozen bloodworms.

When I parked in front of the school, rain was falling and the temperature was dropping. Masked parents were picking up their unmasked kids. I left 50 of the crickets in my car with plans to take them home for Stripy, my bearded dragon, and then I went to the animal room.

I fed and tucked our critters in –

Two cubes of bloodworms for the Axolotl;

Cucumber and carrots for the just-hatched baby snails;

Fresh pinecones and toilet paper rolls for the gerbils;

Hay for the new-found guinea pigs (see previous post);

Crickets in with the animals that eat crickets: the tarantula, the geckos, and the cane toad;

And food for the crickets themselves (some apple, some dog food);

The Madagascan Hissing cockroaches still had food;

The walking sticks are all out of bramble – I’m sorry, but they will be okay for a few days without food.

I headed home.

As I brought the deli container of crickets into my house (they had been in my car for about 45 minutes) I realized something was tragically wrong -- all 50 of them were on their backs, heels to heaven. My first though was carbon monoxide.  How could they all have DIED in such a short time? Then I realized maybe they weren’t dead – they were cold! Or did they freeze to death? It just hadn’t been that long. Such drama! I set them on a table and watched them, and as they warmed, they started to move. First a leg twitched, then another, then one flipped over. I was thinking how cool is this! Definitely something to explore with the kids – the freezing and warming of crickets.

And then, as I was deep in contemplation watching the flipping crickets, it’s 3 in the afternoon and -- the power goes out! There was no accumulation of ice or snow. The storm had hardly started. PGE said the power would be back on at 5pm. But at 5, they said 6, and at 6, it was 8.

When the temperature in Stripy’s tank dropped to 65 degrees, I had lifted him out and put him on my chest, zipped up a fleece vest over him, and put a fuzzy blanket around my shoulders.

My husband ventured out into the cold night to find a restaurant with power. He arrived home with salted peppered cod and garlic broccoli and kung pao shrimp from Powell Seafood, and the news that there were now 100,000 people without power in the greater Portland area.

At 8:03 our lights came on! Stripy was glad to get into his warm tank and eat some crickets. The humans were glad to catch up on what we had missed electronically in the past five hours.

Stripy poops biweekly, and does so in a predictable way – pretty much every time I put him in the bathtub; warm water brings it on for him like coffee does for me.

His poop in interesting. Part of it is white and rubbery, part of it loose and greenish brown.

At 2 in the morning my partner woke me. The power is off again, he says. PGE says the cause is under investigation and there is no estimated time for the power to return. In my Ambien induced slumber, I mumbled, “Please … bring me Stripy…”.

Stripy settled on my chest and closed his eyes. He clung to my nightie like a bur on a wool sweater, both of us covered with the duvet. Our dogs are not happy about Stripy joining us in the bed, and they move as close to my head as they can.

My partner kept checking on Stripy, to make sure he was staying on me, not straying into the sheets. But he needn’t worried. Why would this lizard leave the best heat source in the house -- a woman going through a menopausal transition?

Flanked by dogs, a lizard, and my partner who at this point in the pandemic has not just a beard, but a full wizard’s beard, we sleep. But not well. Our thermostat now says 54 degrees. I am worried about the crickets -- they are no longer chirping. but I am not going to snuggle them.

It is windy. My neighbor's roof is covered with snow and smoke is coming out of her chimney. Branches come down from the weight of ice. A car explodes and burns when a power line falls on it. All over Portland, people are lighting candles and caressing their reptiles, trying to keep them warm.

Stripy has two tanks – one at school, and one at home. His at-school tank is what I think of as his studio apartment; it’s furnished with a doll’s bed covered with a patchwork quilt, a hammock, a tiny ceramic toilet, and a small, hard copy of The Very Hungry Caterpillar. At home, he has a “desert” tank where I’ve built him tunnels and hillocks out of excavator sand.

In the summer, at the end of the day, he likes to join my family on the patio. We have cheese and crackers and glasses of chardonnay, and Stripy gets his own glass platter of mealworms. Yes, I know the mealworms are fatty and are supposed to be a treat, not a regular staple, which is why I’ve been trying to transition him to crickets. I want Stripy to chase crickets like how the beardie in the YouTube video chases blueberries, but he doesn’t.

I believe he doesn’t chase his food because he doesn’t have to.

He waits until a cricket crawls up on his hillock and then -- a quick snap nom nom nom -- he chomps on them. A drop of cricket juice spatters from his mouth.

But I know he still has his instincts, because I have watched him shoot across the patio to catch and eat a bee.

At school, the kids touch Stripy with one finger, and they know not to pet his head. Heads are personal spaces, and plus, that third eye! The first time I saw his third eye, I thought a child had drawn on him with marker.

When not roaming about the animal room, or sunning himself under a UV light, Stripy is carried in a woven sea grass basket filled with silks. He has castles built for him out of Magnatiles. The children pick fresh arugula for him from the garden and hand feed it to him. They sketch pictures of him that are pinned to the wall. The kids love him. They tell him this on a daily basis. They don’t imbue him with meaning, they just recognize him as sentient being.

The kids marvel at how his spikes look so sharp but are actually soft. They touch him and talk about his textures and colors, the orange rings encircling his eyes, his soft belly, his pointy tail. We watch his torso expand as he sighs, relaxing into his body.

What are those holes in the sides of his head?

What do you think they are?

Can he hear me? Why aren’t his ears on the outside like mine?

Will he lick me?

He might.

Why did he lick me!

He is tasting you. He’s finding out who you are.

This bearded dragon, does he know how to fly?

Not yet.

Well, his mommy needs to teach him!

I ask him questions in front of the kids … Stripy, do you want some dandelion greens? Oh, you do!  Oh, Stripy, I can see you don’t want to be held right now. You want to move across the floor on your own!

I regularly give animacy to inanimate objects, too.

What is he saying now, Teacher Nikki?

What do you think he is saying?

Caring for animals helps us to build compassion. I want the kids to know that the animals are communicating with us, we just have to listen.

Sometimes, on my way home from work when I stop at Trader Joes, Stripy tells me that he doesn’t want to be left alone in the car, so I set him on my shoulder and he lies very still (but is supremely alert and watches everything) as I walk around the frozen foods and the wine aisles. Kids always notice him and want to connect. The crew usually notice him, too, and greet him with a wink. My sister, who likes animals but doesn’t have any, when I tell her about my experiences in Trader Joes with Stripy, says “Oh, Nik-Nac, you’ve become one of those people.”

And yes, I guess I have, it’s true. I have become that lady with the bearded dragon.

No, we are not supposed to have a lizard in a preschool -- because of the salmonella risk. However, I believe that risk is an inherent and natural consequence of childhood. Our preschoolers take turns on a broken seesaw that was homemade to begin with. They build with crates and cardboard boxes we scavenge from the furniture store on the corner. There is sometimes a sprinkling of nails in our sandbox. We have earthquakes here, and floods, and ice-storms.  Our children breathe harmful air from wildfires. We have lockdown drills to prepare us for potential active shooters in our schools – a little salmonella isn’t going to shut things down for us!

In my more than 30 years of teaching with animals, I have probably exposed thousands of children to salmonella. It will be okay. For those of you who are still worried, let me tell you a little story.

I hosted a special COVID sleepover for some school-age kids recently (the kids were all from the same pod) and when it was discovered that one child had forgotten to bring a tooth brush, I said, “that’s okay, just borrow someone’s toothpaste and brush with your finger.” I mimed a demonstration and all the kids made faces of disgust. “I would never brush my teeth with my finger,” I heard. “I put my fingers in my butt too much!”

We do wash our hands as often as possible.

[todaysbiggesthits]

The Exam

Best Music Moment of 2018:

Nasty: Hearing Red Eyes live. I've already said it on TBH, but seeing your favorite band in their relative prime is such a cool thing. 

BC: Since partying all night with my favorite band fell within the short window between Bestuv '17 ending and Bestuv '18 beginning, I'd have to say:

1. Kacey Musgrave's performance of "Slow Burn" on SNL

2. Radiohead perfectly executing "There There" which transported me back to Lollapalooza in '08 3. Despite the annoyance of sitting in lots of Indy500 traffic due to a new parking situation, I quite enjoyed working through half of the Stones' catalogue with Bronco riding shotgun and Codemin listening in from the flatbed of Dillon's pickup

Codem: Spending what was New Year's Eve for the central timezone in the USA at a Fijian medical bath facility listening to music, playing cards, downing tequeel and getting ringworm with my blushing bride. -hearing peter hook play the bass line from shadowplay live and in person. -Arden, JD and JJ encouraging me to go talk to Kyle from Swearin'. -Silver Jews and Westing (By Musket and Sextant) came to Spotify. -Watching "Random Rules" video for the first time

Larse: Sitting behind this massive (I mean orca fat) guy at the CHVRCHES show, feeling really bad for him before the show started because he was all alone and kept looking around and worrying about letting people in his row and things. As soon as CHVRCHES came on though, this guy was exactly where he was supposed to be that night. Sang the words and danced to every song and just made my day with how happy he was to be there. Jotted down every song of the setlist into his smartphone and just had an all around great time. And some of you motherfuckers won't even go to a movie by yourself!

JD: May: A moody Chinatown stroll with the new Grouper album in the rain. July: Soaking up some good tunes at the housewarming party to ring in our new pad. July: Some hilariously rambunctious youths having at it when “House of Jealous Lovers” came on during a full play of Compilation 1 at the DFA summer party. One of them (who must have been ~8 in the bygone days of 02) screamed out “this is the song that started it all!” to a crowd of stationary gawkers and I felt a brief moment of hope for the youngs. August: Shaking a leg at Pete’s wedding (also featuring a delightful hojl spin). September: A rowdy spin of “Sentient Oona” on the Levee juke with an impromptu digital jukebox dance party at the Turkey’s Nest with jj’s cousin and his lovely girlfriend. October: The best music cue I’ve ever seen at the end of Beau Travail.

Bronco: Taking John to his first concert, and that first concert was Mastodon. That was pretty awesome to be able to share that experience with him. He was super into it, and so were the metalheads at the show. "Dad of the Year" was definitely shouted more than a few times, and I thought to myself, "fuckin-A right."

Chap: My kids saying "Papa" when "She Drives Me Crazy" by Fine Young Cannibals comes on.

Best Shows Seen in 2018:

C: Open Mike Eagle at Pitchfork

Bronco: Sleep

Laser: CHVRCHES at Riverside Theater; Chromeo at Summerfest

BC: The Brian Jonestown Massacre, Radiohead

Nasty: The War on Drugs. 

Code: kraus - schubas peter hook - metro no age - the bottle swearin' - bowery eleanor friedberger - lincoln hall my bloody valentine - aragon "quickly climbing the ranks of my nice" ballroom kraus - the bottle pictureplane - bottom lounge soft moon - the bottle book of love - chop shop

JD: 1. Shame at Market Hotel 2. Hamilton Leithauser at the Carlyle Hotel 3. Beach House at United Palace Theater 4. The Voidz at Elsewhere 5. Parquet Courts’ Wide Awake! mid-day album release show with my morning coffee at Rough Trade

6. Flasher at St. Vitus 7. Deafheaven at Brooklyn Steel 8. Panda Bear at Brooklyn Steel 9. No Age at Brooklyn Bazaar 10. CCFX at the DFA summer party at Elsewhere with my girlfriend in full blown rem sleep standing up with her head on my shoulder 11. Alex Cameron at Warsaw 12. Gang Gang Dance and Interpol at House of Vans Of note: Dekkar at On Cinema Live at the Bell House.

Confession of 2018:

JD: I have a real TBH confession that I held until now. I was thoroughly enjoying the Flasher album on a recent evening after a few too many drinks when a burning urge to see them washed over me. They had a show coming up at a bar just a few blocks from my apartment, so I enthusiastically snapped up tickets for me and jj. Thinking this might be a good opportunity for a TBH outing, I emailed Chap trying to peer pressure him into attending the Flasher show and gauging his interest in a Parquet Courts concert that would be happening the following evening. No response.

We later received an invitation to a holiday cocktail party at a friend’s apartment on the same night as the Flasher show, and I hatched a cockamamie scheme to go from our home in Greenpoint to the party in Soho, leave after an hour to catch the concert back in Greenpoint, head back to the party in Soho, and finally retire back to Greenpoint. JJ wisely passed on such a scheme and I left the party to trek off to the concert solo with an extra ticket in tow. 

Awash in good cheer and excitement while Flasher set up, I thought what the hell, might as well take a flier on reminding Chap of the show. Maybe the twins are asleep, he’s just sitting around, can jump into a cab, claim the extra ticket, watch the show, and cruise on back. Mid-text I paused, wondering just why he never responded to the initial email weeks ago. A quick gmail search, and there sat my drunkenly composed beseechment to join, rotting in the drafts folder unsent. 

A couple of the dudes from Parquet Courts were bouncing around the bar, and I decided it would make more sense to hit up Chap about attending their show the next day than explain the whole snafu and extend a ludicrous invitation that required dropping everything and leaving immediately for a show he didn’t even know was happening. I ate the extra ticket, had a blast watching Flasher, zipped back to the party, drank myself into oblivion, and was way too hung over to even consider the Parquet Courts show the next day. NICK SORRY NICK! (editor’s note: too long)

Larson: I saw Timberlake at Fiserv Forum

BC: My neighbor invited me to see Imagine Dragons. I lied and said I had to travel for work. "On a Saturdee?" he inquired. "Yeah. Totally sucks," I awkwardly replied. I hid inside my house all weekend.

Bronco: I'd rather see shows by myself than with my buddy. He likes going to shows, and I keep inviting him, and we have a fine time, but he doesn't live in town anymore, so I gotta worry about him drinking too much and driving an hour home. And his wife is a psychopath and that complicates shit. Too much. And it's just so much more freeing being able to not give a fuck about anyone else during that time, to just soak it all in, it feels good and right.

Codem: -despite all of the bad things that kanye said, i still liked listening to his catalogue throughout the year. i even liked his EP that came out in 2018.   -i really liked the beach house album!   -i liked the snail mail album, skipped two opportunities to see her and then by --the end of the year, i thought the album was sort of boring.   -Arden and i went to see pictureplane open for alice glass and thought that the show sucked and pictureplane played such stupid songs. three months later, he put out my favorite album of the year and i can't stop thinking that i hated all of the same songs the first time i heard them. -i read an article on a bright fall saturday morning that exhaustively detailed the Cardi B and Nicki Minaj feud and i watched all of the instagram story clips that showed Cardi B scrolling through her phone with those outlandish nails of hers. it took me two cups of coffee to get through it all, but get through it i did. [i couldn't think of nicki minaj's name just now so i stared at the ceiling and kept running through names in my mind's eye: missy, kim, cardi, kelis, kim??, eve, trina. i couldn't remember. so i finally googled "kanye monster" and found her name. easy.]

Nasty: I'm done with new music. It’s over. I didn't listen to a single new album - I don't even know if I could name a new album. Realistically, I did like Daytona. 

Biggest Disappointment of 2018:

Nasty: MAGA Kanye

Larse: Timberlake at Fiserv Forum

Bronco: Black Tusk, Alice in Chains

BC: Getting into The Orwells literally two days before #MeToo chewed 'em up and spit 'em out

Chap: Car Seat Headrest. Can't believe he's gay! jk the album was the disappointment.

Code: -somebody hacked my spotify account and wiped all of my music and replaced it with raggaeton and halsey. i was able to get my music back, but i lost all of my meticulously cared for folder structure. -i wanted the simple minds album to be cool; it was not.   -i wanted the swearin' album to be really great; it was okay. -pictureplane and ovlov did not tour their albums.   -i had to eat two tickets to my bloody valentine after buying four. the original show sold out and i thought i was going to be able to sell my extras for a profit -- they ended up announcing a second show and there was no secondary market for the original show.   -no CCFX followup ):  

JD: Got to Hammerstein Ballroom for MBV and there was a line longer than an entire avenue. They were already on by the time we made it into the heinously oversold venue and we were stuck by the bar in the lobby surrounded by people constantly shouting in an effort to compete with the apocalyptic noise.

C: Terrible sound at Tame Impala show

Most Overrated of 2018:

Code: -probably that kacey musgraves album; i got absolutely nothing out of it. also, i liked the robyn album, but i wanted to love it after many years between releases. i think i'm just being greedy.   -i'm going to get killed for this, but the throwing the baby out with the bathwater approach to artists' criminal behavior or inflammatory tweets is pretty overrated right now. 

Bronco: Ghost - I like their schtick, with rotating members and the whole inverted church thing. It's campy but they're sticking to it, and that's fine, but their music isn't metal. It's poppy glam shit about the devil, and that's also fine, but I don't get why it's on anyone's list. Production value maybe? But the music itself isn't anything to write home about. I just don't get it.

JD: n/a. The thick layer of nonsensical, Pynchonian obfuscation the platform economy dollops over everything has made it impossible to understand how anything is rated. Almost feel bad for the click driven publications that have to just throw out a guess.

C: Mitski

Chap: Snail Mail

BC: Kanye. His new music is no longer good enough to put up with his bufoonery.

Laser: Timberlake at Fiserv Forum

Nasty: Clemson. GOARSH. 

Make It Stop 2018:

Nasty: DJT, anytime now. 

Bronco: Party politics. No more labels allowed. You can have a list of stuff you support and a list of stuff you are against, but that's fucking it. No more this side vs that side for reasons as caddy as an R vs. a D. Also religion having any influence whatsoever in the way our country is run. Believe whatever you want to believe, but don't force your bullshit on anyone else. You want to torment yourself with a lifelong christian guilt trip, that's your boat to float, but don't go poking holes in my boat just because you're a miserable fuck. Just stop. Also, Jack White.

Larse: Timberlake at Fiserv Forum

Chap: Baby Shark

BC: My shrinking attention span

JD: The cultural currency of clapbacks, shade, and tea.

Code: trap music playing from a phone's external speaker while i'm trapped on public transportation.  i'm going to go broke buying enough earbuds to distribute to these offenders.

Biggest TBH Regret of 2018:

Larse: Timberlake at Fiserv Forum

C: Not seeing Low at a church on University of Chicago's Campus

JD: -Hearing about a Grouper show at a church around the corner from my pad after it sold out. -Not necessarily a regret because I didn’t know it was happening, but oh how I wish I had seen Jon Glaser and Jon Benjamin as Dave Farina and Dave Franz, Dennis and Dennis’ sons, at a Bowery Ballroom Yo La Tengo show.

BC: -I wish I would've cooked up a way to see Shame play a midnight show in Bloomington.  I just want that kid to scream "Concrete" in my face. -I probably should've seen Smashing Pumpkins when they rolled through town too. 

Code: my flight got delayed and i missed the swearin' show at that place in brooklyn that "smelled like hot fish"

Bronco: Not a regret so much as I was super-bummed when High on Fire dropped out of the tour I saw in November. The venue we were at put my buddy and I right next to the stage. It would've been crazy awesome to see HOF there, but they've rescheduled at least, and I'll see them in January.

Bin: I haven't listened to any Kanye this year. I thought it would feel gratifying by year end - it doesn't. I'll probably still avoid this most recent album, but I'm going back to the well. I'll continue to talk shit about him though. Take that Ye!

Chap: No regrets 

Detective Murtaugh of 2018:

Larse: Getting too old to keep up with all of this new music and put a worthwhile list together at the end of the year…

Nasty:

Code: i added book of love show to my top ten concert list because Arden and i were able to take a seat on the ground in the balcony section. we had to continually move our spot on the floor to be able to peer through the railing and a mass of bodies in order to catch a glimpse of the stage.

JD: -Two of my favorite music related experiences of the year were seeing Hamilton Leithauser in the cafe of the Carlyle Hotel and the extended Niles family in The Nutcracker at the NYC Ballet. -When I googled “Detective Murtaugh” just now it was mostly pictures of Damon Wayans (Jr. no less!) playing the role on the Lethal Weapon CBS series.

Bronco: Putting up with shit instead of speaking up about it. There's room on the train but I'm squished by the door because some self-absorbed dinks won't move in? "Could you please move in?" It sounds so simple, but breaking that silence barrier was a scary thing. Now I don't give a shit. I'm on train for two stops, and I'm not going to see you again, so fuck you, move in or I'm going to move myself in and it aint gonna be pleasant for you.

Chap: A hipster female barber said I was a silver fox. AYFKM?

BC: What the hell is Fortnite?

Resolution for 2018 Update:

Larse: get my list in on time! How it went: probably horseshit! (editor’s note: it was early yet!)

NACK: While I didn’t have the occasion to catch shows this year, I anticipate doing so in '18 due to some changes afoot. How it went: Joe Dons has yet to let me know of a concert going on and I have no other friends here, so I blame him for my failure

Bin: I’m just going to keep saying “get to NY for a show with JD” until I make it happen. How it went: Didn't get to NY for a show with JD.

JD: See you gents more often with or without a show attached.  How it went: Fairly decent, but is it really ever enough?

Bronco: Get in shape. I want to stick to a schedule of running all year round. I ran a 10K back in June, then needed to recover for a bit, been recovering ever since…Fat Dad needs to keep running all year round without excuse, especially given that we go skiing between Xmas and New Year’s and I’m gonna be a floppy legged mess. During those runs, I’ll try to listen to new material each time. How it went: I ran a 5-miler in May. Haven't run since. Though I have been reasonably consistent with my prison workout (situps and pushups before bed time), so now there's a hint of muscle under my fat dad layer. Just gotta combine the two now somehow.

Code: make more playlists for my wife How it went: i said that i was going to make more mixes for my wife. i made one year-end mix for her and i'm sure she's loving it :*

BC: No more resolutions How it went: 2018 Resolution was "No More Resolutions," so pretty darn good!

Resolution for 2019:

Laser: ---

BC: Listen to one new album a week; reboot the Classic Album Review Club

JD: Greater consciousness of how I’m using my attention - an ineffectual and meaningless protest of the ways the world is burning down in pursuit of it.

Bronco: Read more 'classic' books. I didn't read many of them, even in school (especially in school? Never could read a book I was told to read). But I'm leaning in the sci-fi direction of 'classics'. I just read Dune this summer, and wrapped up Fahrenheit 451 the other day. I'm feeling an unexplained need to beef up my nerd credentials and this seems the way to accomplish it.

Chap: Learn Piano; Guilt Joe Dons into finally inviting me to a concert

Nasty: I'm sticking with it - get to NY for a show with JD.

Code: catch ovlov, pictureplane, washer, chromatics, EMA and colleen green live this year.

Most Anticipated of 2019:

Bronco: Tool. Fifth year's the charm. I'm actually hopeful this time around. In fact, I half expect them to drop it on New Year's Eve or something, just so it's post Listicle season, but not quite 2019 so it can't end up on those lists either. They're such dicks like that.

BC: Still waitin' on dat Vampire Weekend yet

Chap: Vampire Weekend, Chromatics

C: Lin Manuel in Mary Poppins... I kid, My Bloody Valentine

JD: Going to put Frank Ocean out into the universe, MBV take 2, Grimes, Panda Bear, Kanye’s escape from the Black Lodge

Codem: chromatics - tommy, MBV, washer, colleen green, EMA(?), DoM

Laser: no idea what's even on the docket

Nasty: Mueller's Report

[stripestheboar]

From Within the Core: Chapter 3

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Summary: Gaster struggles to welcome his new guest back to his lab.

Getting the monster to follow Gaster back to his lab was a fairly difficult endeavor, to say the least. It was certainly a test of patience, as anything that even moved made the flame immediately anxious and stop in its tracks. He had thought about using his gravity magic to help move the flame along, but he knew it would only end up badly. Though there was little damage done to his HP, Gaster had enough burn marks on his clothes as it were, and he didn’t want to lose the already thin bit of trust he had gained so far. And so it was at a snail’s pace they moved, slowly inching along further and further while several Hotland monsters watched from afar. Some even tried to approach him, curious of the new monster. but Gaster warned them away; the monster would possibly have a soul attack if a stranger attempted to interact with it. Well, if it even had a soul in the first place, that is. He was sure it did, as almost every creature had a soul of its own, save for plant life or microorganisms. It was unheard of for any sentient creature to not have a soul of its own. If it didn’t, though, it would make things a tad more complicated in the lab. More complications were just what he needed at a time like this.

Once they were in the lab, Gaster was quick to shut and lock both exits just in case the monster got too panicky. He slowly let go of the flame go, motioning for it to stay right there, before going to check if there was anyone in the main lab, which there was none after a small scan. That was to be expected, as he was the only one with authorized access. The only ones really there were the subjects.  

When he returned to retrieve his discovery, he was surprised to find it gone. In a panic, he hastily began checking upstairs to find it before it got into any unwanted trouble, only to come across the monster looking curiously over his workshop table. He gave a small sigh of relief, glad nothing had happened while he was away. That’s when the table suddenly caught fire.

Gaster nearly lost his cool attempting to grab the fire blanket, tripping over his own feet in his haste to put out the fire. Once the burning desk was smothered, he checked to see if anything was damaged beyond repair. Luckily, he had stopped it just in time. “You really have to be more careful,” he huffed, looking over at the fire monster. The flame in question had moved onto the shelves, lined with over a hundred books. It slowly reached out to touch one of the leather-bound works, seemingly curious about these, too. Gaster strode over just in time to see one of the books catch fire, the heat beginning to spread onto the other works of literature. “Oh dear,” he whispered to himself, grabbing the blanket and using it to quickly smother that fire as well. He could now see where this was going. He quickly turned his skull, noticing the fire spirit was watching him for a few moments, before deciding to carefully walk over to his desk, where many research paper were stored. At that moment, he was more than tempted to throw the blanket onto the fire monster itself.

“Whoa whoa!” Gaster called out to him, dashing over and scaring the monster. He firmly, but not too forcefully grabbed it by the arm, gently trying to lead it away from the indubitably important work he had gathered over the past few months. “Okay, listen,” he sighed, catching the monster’s attention. “It’s detrimental that you stop setting every damn thing you see on fire. Some of these objects may be foreign to you, but they are more than important to me and the kingdom of monsters. So please. Stop. Burning. Things.”

The monster’s flame crackled and hissed as expected and he sighed. “You didn’t understand a word of what I said, did you?” More crackling and hissing. “Fine. I suppose a demonstration is in order.” He went over to his tool box and grabbed a torch and a small rag. He turned to the monster, whose attention was focused on him. He lit the rag on fire, shook his head, and put the fire out. The flame continued to stare, making it unclear if he even understood the visual demonstration. He couldn’t blame it; the spirit came from within the Core, which were filled with pipes of liquid fire. Speaking of which, he needed to get someone down to properly fix the pipes. If the Core was able to suck up a fire monster, it could easily happen again, and another confused and scared monster was not what he needed right now. The main question now, though, was what to do with the monster. It obviously already had a home and was understandably rather scared, but he couldn’t help but think of the value of the research. He had never seen a monster made completely of fire; it was unheard of, and he had never heard of any being on the surface beforehand. However, there was also the setbacks; he didn’t know the monster’s age, name, or even gender, and god knows if it was even able to speak. It obviously had no concept of the things around it, and he greatly doubted it had a form of writing he could decipher. There was also the fact that Gaster himself spoke in a dialect almost unknown to everyone, forcing him to use symbols to explain himself.  

He sighed and glanced over at the monster, who seemed too afraid to tough anything. It also didn’t wear clothes. That would be a bit of a problem now, wouldn’t it? He didn’t think a monster made of fire would be too happy about being forced to wear clothing.  

Perhaps Asgore would know. The king of the Underground had more than a century and a half under his belt; surely he would know what this spirit was and just what to do with it. Though it would be more than likely that he would force Gaster to let the flame go back to his natural habitat, he did suppose he would have a day or two to study the monster before letting it go.

Gaster looked at the time. It was getting rather late and he needed to get home. However, he couldn’t just leave a fire monster here, lest he come back to see the lab in ruins. He thought about bringing he flame home himself, but realized that he would have to pass though Waterfall no matter which way he chose. A monster made of fire and Waterfall would not mix well.

After a few minutes of thinking on the subject, he made the decision to stay here for the night. The lab was equipped with a bed should a situation such as this arise and he was left without the ability to get back home. Now he just needed to figure out how to get the flame monster to sleep, if it even could sleep in the first place.

‘Flame monster’, he thought to himself. A bit of an odd name, but the only name he had for it. He attempted to think of something else he could call the fire spirit. Names such as “Sparky” or “Smoky” came to mind, but they were quickly disregarded; he was in possession of a fire monster, not a dog. It seemed finding something to call it would have to be postponed.

“I suppose you’ll have to go nameless for now,” he sighed to the flame monster. “I’d rather not always refer to you as ‘fire monster’, but seeing as I don’t even know your gender, I suppose I have no other choice.”

The monster gave its usual crackles and hisses in response, the sounds typically made by burning logs. The noises were loud, but would die away every now and again. “I don’t even know why I’m explaining all this to you,” he muttered, before leading him down the stairs. “It’s not like you’re able to understand me.” The crackling grew louder again and died away. He stepped over to his cabinet full of supplies, wondering what a flame monster would sleep on.  

“Anyways, I suppose I should find a suitable way for you to sleep before I go to bed as well. Though, I’m not sure if your kind can even sleep.” The cracklings and hisses grew and fell. A bit of a coincidence they seemed to fluctuate in volume as he talked. It was almost like it was responding to his voice, but that in itself was rather absurd, seeing as it couldn’t even speak.

Wait.

Gaster paused, slowly turning around to look at the monster, who stared back with unreadable emotions. The noises rose and fell once again, changing in pitch every now and then before it was gone. However, the sounds were strangely organized, now that he thought about it, and lord knows he didn’t believe in any type of coincidences.

“Are you… speaking?” he murmured softly. The flame did not react, but the noises fluctuated once again. Those were definitely in a type of pattern. “You are. You’re attempting to speak,” he realized, his voice matching his astonishment. “Can… you understand me?” The fire did not make a sound. He would take that as a negative, but that didn’t matter right now. He was now almost absolutely certain that the monster before him had an actual language he was able to speak. This was, to say the least, exciting, meaning that communication was indeed possible, though very difficult.

Filled with a newfound ambition, Gaster went into the supply closet and pulled out an old mattress of his with a bit of difficulty. He dragged it to the middle of the room, the fire monster watching him as he did so. He laid the mattress down and pointed to it. “Hopefully this will suffice. I don’t mind if it ends up on fire; the floor is made of metal, anyways.” The fire monster stared blankly, unresponsive. “Fine. I suppose another live demonstration is in order,” Gaster muttered, removing his lab coat and lying down on the mattress. “Like this, see? You can sleep, can’t you?” He pat he exterior of the cushion below him, and it had an immediate response. The flame approached and crawled onto the mattress beside him. At first, it looked surprised by its soft texture. It paused for only a moment before bouncing its frame on the cushion as a sort of test. Within a few seconds, it was rolling around on the softness of the mattress, its crackles and hisses becoming louder as it seemed to speak to itself. Gaster sat up with a nod. “I can see you’re enjoying your bed,” he told the monster, getting up and coming to a stand. “Hopefully nothing bad will happen overnight.” To his surprise, though, the flame got up as well, coming to a stand. He furrowed his brow bone, pointing to the bed once again. “Don’t you like it?” he asked. “You seemed to adore it a few seconds ago.” The fire monster tilted its flame, not understanding. He grumbled and laid back down again. As expected, the fire followed suit, but once he tried standing up again, the other did the same.

“Oh no…” Gaster murmured to himself. “Please don’t make me...” The fire monster stared blankly, being unable to respond. “Fine. I suppose I have to do what I have to do. For science,” he huffed, lying back down again. The spirit was hesitant to do the same. “But this is for science and science only!” Crackles and hisses were the only response. Gaster sighed and stared up at the ceiling, wondering where this little accident was going at this point. The monster seemed contented enough, though. He turned over on the mattress in an attempt to sleep, hoping he wouldn’t wake up on fire.

[starfleetorbust]

Perfect Day - Part 2

Part 1

Look! There’s a Spock in this part xD This one’s longer. The ‘chapters’ really fluctuate in length. -shrug- Too proud of this to care that much. Tiny warning (not quite a warning):  Lots of educational text in here and yes, it does probably get boring if you’re not looking to learn. It’s the Vulcan equivalent of flirting and I won’t apologize for it. I tried not to sound too textbook but it only will get worse from here, so if you don’t like it, you probably won’t like the rest of this story.

Now that your rest had been interrupted, you glanced around to find your own partner. Spock had departed earlier on a walk and you could see him over by edge of the water in the distance. He stood silhouetted between the sun and the natural caves and caverns that had been carved into the landscape. You chuckled as you saw the little shadow leaning down into the water and standing up again repeatedly. You headed over to see what had captured his interest, taking a moment to admire the waves as you walked. The tide wasn’t very strong right now, but even so, white waves rippled in the distance. While back over by Jim there had barely been a disturbance in the water, here there was a steady rhythm to the sound of them crashing against the rocks as you approached. When you reached close enough to see Spock clearly, you realized he was standing out on some protruding land on the end of a small peninsula of broken rocks. You stood back and just watched for a moment. Every few minutes, Spock would lean over and inspect the water for a moment before the waves would pull in and he would quickly stand and dart back away from the water. He was cat like and light on his feet and you enjoyed the humorous sight for another minute.

You carefully maneuvered around the rocks and quietly sneaked up, trying to time it so when he pulled back from one of the waves, you tapped one of his shoulders. The Vulcan spun around to face you but even then, he didn’t seem like he was particularly surprised with that perfectly stoic face he always kept. You gave him a small pout. “Y/n, you make too much noise to surprise me.” He pointed out, noticing your small frown, but you noticed his eyes seemed a little more dilated than usual. Perhaps you really had startled him. “So, what’s got you so intrigued?”  The briefest of smiles crossed his lips and he gestured with his finger for you to kneel down beside him to see the rocks. At first you didn’t see what he was gesturing at. The water was more green in this area but still clear enough to see the bottom. You followed Spock’s finger but all you could see was a scattering of broken shells and sand. You started to turn to ask, but then a small movement caught your attention and you watched the small fish dart across one of the pools into some leaves that you realized were tiny sea fingers. Your eyes lit up and now you understood. 

“You found a tidal pool!” Now he had completely enraptured your attention. This was your expertise. Back on the ship you were the head of the xenobiology department and these pools were brimming with life, albeit from Earth. For a second you ran your hand through the water, but pulled it out with a yelp. So much for swimming. The water was freezing and you know fully understood why Len had been so angry at Jim. Spock watched you with an amused glint in his eyes. Fish scattered away from the ripples and caused the puddle to seem much more alive than it had a second ago. The longer you stared at the pools the more life you were able to identify in the shallows. The water wasn’t perfectly clear, which made it hard to recognize life among the rocks that littered the ground. Urchins hid between the algae and the shells camouflaged the snails until they moved.  Suddenly Spock’s hand was on your shoulders and he lifted you up and pulled you away from the edge of the water as a wave spread across where you had just been kneeling. Now that you were standing, you could see there were more tidal pools scattered across the shore. You moved over to another pool this time the water pulled back and Spock seemed to follow in tow. “A starfish!” You exclaimed, seeing the red creature immediately and reaching down for it despite the cold water. You brushed the sandpaper like skin. “The name seems illogical, given it is not a species of fish.” “Scientist sometimes reclassify them as sea-stars, but the colloquial name stems from before fish were really classified into any groups. In those times, any creature in the ocean was called ‘fish’.” You softly peeled the creature off of the rock it had been resting on as you spoke. “They don’t even have blood. They just pump seawater through them to get the nutrients from that.” Keeping the specimen underwater, you lifted him closer to the surface and rotated the star around to better see it. A hand in the water landed on your wrist and Spock was looking at you with a slight frown. “You do not need to remove it from its environment.” “I won’t take him from the water. It doesn’t hurt to move him Spock, you know that. I know what I’m doing and you’ve seen me work in our labs on all the specimens we receive.” You felt a little hurt that he was chastising you. He knew what you were capable of, and he knew that you cherished life enough not to take a sea-creature on land. “I am well aware of your expertise, y/n. But removing this life from its home will cause it great stress. Even the Enterprise teams seek only to remove non-sentient creatures from their planets. There have been miscalculations in the past, but we strive not to be cause of any discomfort. It is the essence of our Prime Directive. The statement does not only apply to civilizations and cultures, but to any species we encounter on the planet.” He guided your hands back down and replaced the starfish where it had been prior. You pulled your hands out you wiped them dry on your jacket. “I’m sorry Spock. I wasn’t trying to upset you. I just got overly excited at seeing all these creatures. I just wanted to see him better.” “I understand y/n. However, in this case, I believe it would be best if we refrain from moving them. The creatures here are in their homes.”

While you tried to heed Spock’s advice, you found your curiosity peaked too much to avoid it completely. After a few more pools had been uncovered by the two of you, you braved the icy water again to brush you fingers against one of the anemones and watch as the tendrils curled onto your fingers. While they weren’t sticky, they clung to your skin as you freed your hand. A hermit crab scrambled away from the commotion as you pulled your hand back out. When you glanced back at Spock, there was a hint of a smile.

You stayed there for a while, losing track of time in all the creatures. The two of you moved along the rocks, exploring each pool and the creatures within. Your shoes got soaked but it was too fun to want to leave. Spock would point out creatures and you would happily identify them for him and tell him fun facts about them. Spock was an excellent observer, and was able to locate the species a lot faster from field experience, but he would always turn to you to ask for clarification and identification. It was one of the wonderful things about Spock. Despite his high IQ, he always knew when to defer to another’s expertise. You never felt like he was trying to be the smartest one in the room, like many other professors and chief officers you had worked with. Spock loved to learn, and often when he came around to check on experiments in the lab, it wasn’t to check precision so much as simply being genuinely fascinated by the results and analysis that went on by his crew. He loved hearing you talk and teach him, and in turn he often taught you things in fields he was vastly superior in. He pointed out some barnacles lining the rocks, and small snail shells that you might not have seen buried among the rocks too deep for you to reach.

“And that?” He pointed to a spotted brown and green area that was moving lightly. You would have looked over it as a mossy rock if you weren’t looking carefully. “Aplysia californica. A sea hare, more specifically a Californian one.” Spock’s attention turned back to you and he seemed completely enraptured in what you had to say. There was something wonderful about the way you were the center of his interest. “They’re named after the little antenna on them that make them look like rabbits. They’re hermaphroditic but surprisingly not asexual and as a defense they make these slimes that we actually don’t know what they do.” “Is there no testing that can be done?” “We can but its difficult because there are several unique chemicals they can create and so many fish react differently. Some deter enemies and some attract food. There’s a purple one that natives used to use as a dye and one even acts like a sunscreen for these guys when the tides get too shallow.”

The thought of sunscreen reminded you of the incident earlier with Jim and you glanced up. The sun was low in the sky and you had not even realized how much time had passed just between you two. “Hey Spock? We should probably head back over to the truck.” “A logical choice,” he answered, standing and offering his hand to help you up. 

@mccoymostly @kaitymccoy123 .... someone else asked to be here and I can’t remember D: I feel bad now. Also look at that cute picture! Doesn’t quite match, but it’s totally how I see him here.

[hillbillyhocuspocus]

New Moon in Libra // October 8th, 2018 // Weight of the World

              As we delve deeper into the crisp month of October, we come upon the annual New Moon in the sign of airy Libra.

            New Moons happen once a month, resetting the theme each sign has to teach us for the coming year, and in a sense marking a true new cosmic calendar for the sun signs in which it inhabits. They are not only a great time to plant seeds for future endeavors, but to begin new projects, and set intentions for where you would like to be, come the next New Moon in that sign.

                Every sign of the zodiac has a lesson worth learning, in order to become a whole and balanced being. We pass through tests, and triumphs ushered in by their movement around the zodiac band above us. No one sign is above another, no one sign is better. That is exactly the nature and true divine power of Libra. When Libra reaches it's highest positive nature, it can bring balance to the most chaotic situations, empathize with the untouchables, and unify the jagged corners of our world as a whole. Along with Aquarius, this sign truly cares about others, and can put them self in the shoes of the underdog mentally with ease. Unlike Aquarius, who cares more about unifying the masses, Libra chooses to focus more with one-on-one interactions. Unifying in ways such as marriages, or contractual agreements. They are more likely to actually go out to the homeless, and hand them a sandwich (and even share conversation/socialize with that actual being)...than to donate to mass food bank organizations. This to Libra, is the perfect way to find true balance.

            As this Libra New Moon energy begins to pour down around your physical being, your desire to be more of the one-on-one balancer will come more into your conscious awareness. You may feel more like being charitable, and trying to see more the tree than the forest persay.              You may find yourself venturing out to more social settings, searching for someone/something which will balance you. Libra is known for being a very sociable sign, loving to mix, and schmooze with all different types of people. In their minds they are the most graceful, charming, and welcoming individual at any social setting. You may find yourself receiving invites to parties at places you've never been, with all types of different people, of all different backgrounds. Libra believes they know what is beautiful, creative, and aesthetically pleasing. They believe they can judge the fairness of a situation, and would love to give you advice about it, if it would please you. Libras want to please someone, leading to you agreeing with all these things they think about them self.

They can have a bad habit of picking your brain, just to know the right thing to say to whoever they're talking to. Which in the end can have a negative effect of them being superficial, and more of a people-pleaser, than an authentic friend. If you do find yourself schmoozing with some random people, don't let your desire to be well liked by the crowd you're in, dictate your level of authenticity. One of the bravest things any of us can do is be authentically ourselves. Then the people who enjoy you, will be people you will also enjoy. Thus forming solid, and balanced friendships. Take the power of this New Moon to set an intention to bring more authenticity into your social interactions. There is more than one way to find that perfect, ideally beautiful, Libra balance.

Speaking of that Libra balance...

let's consider the scale.

                  The sign of Libra is symbolized by the cold, steel scale. The inanimate, non-sentient, and still scale. It's shine glinting under sunlight, and dull under shadow. Like a rock, it stands. Unwavering to any desire of change on it's own, a testament to the idea that WHAT will balance, has been set in stone, and the world is/isn't, there is black/white...there is this/that. There is only one way to balance...to have each plate of it's arms in perfect alignment.

It takes our movement, our placement of these things, and our will to truly set it in balance however. As we add in the human element, the scale shifts, and wavers to our wills.

                     What we see in each plate may appear to be the same...yet the scales still shift.

          Two objects can APPEAR to be in balance, having the same shape, size, and color...yet...it is the contents of their weight which defy visual logic.

With Venus (The ruler of Libra) in retrograde motion in the deep, dark sign of Scorpio...it is the depths that really count! It is the contents of our characters, our truest desires, our wildest, deepest dreams. Two men may look much alike, but behave rather differently. Twins are born identical, and yet one is more passive at times, or vice versa. The outside does not guarantee balance internally. The weights have to add up. The contents have to mirror one another in some way.

For the fixed signs (Taurus, Leo, Scorpio and Aquarius), this means giving in sometimes when you'd rather not. For the mutable signs (Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius and Pisces), this means adding on a bit more when you'd rather hush, or standing up when you've sat in the past. For the cardinal signs (Aries, Cancer, LIBRA and Capricorn)...this sometimes means ending things where you once would have begun them. In order for each of us to make sure we are balanced in our personal lives, and in society as a whole...sometimes we have to subtract from or add to the weight of the world.

              We are the ones who create the balance/imbalance. When we view the world around us, we perceive it, we create the balance/imbalance by perceiving it. This can be one of the downsides of Libra. As we feel the empathy to help those in need around us, we have to first judge someones need. To decide who is in need, is to pass judgement on the state of another’s life. When you take it upon yourself to reach a hand out to another person, take care to make sure they ASK for it first! It can be a rather insulting thing to another persons dignity to be presumed a charity case.

              Also worth noting, the Sun and Moon are in a Conjunction (stressful aspect) with Libra squaring off with lord of the underworld Pluto. During this period it can seem like as you want to give and help others, you wouldn't want to see them do better than you. Subconsciously it can seem like if the other person you want to help, were to gain a lot, you'd somehow have given them too much, with nothing in return. This is a rock-and-a-hard-place kinda thing.  

                  In a situation where you try to help someone who didn't ask for help... you have to ask yourself why you were really wanting to help that person in the first place. A part of Libra's superficial side is balancing for the camera per say. They didn't help you to help you, but to help them. Weather it be for the way they'll appear to others, the way it feeds their own ideal of what "a good person" they are, to stiffen their personal guilt, or because they'll use your charity to avoid taxes...during this phase ask yourself why you really want to balance a situation. Who is gaining what, and where from it.

                  Due to that Venus Retrograde we mentioned above...whatever solution you find to add balance into your life will not be a permanent fix. Retrogrades are actually ill advised times to begin projects in areas where they're concerned. As such, this shall test the authenticity of your will to help others, to socialize authentically, and to really get to the heart/depths of the imbalances in your waking life. Sure you wanted to help your friend move that time...because you love them, and have the free time, and that's what friends do, and that's what would please them...

but suddenly they need to move AGAIN right after you just helped them!

And shocker! That place is wrong as well...causing you to have to help them move 3 times in a row in less than 2 months!

How much did you really want to help them is tested.

How much you did it really for them...is questioned.

How much is in it for you becomes a question.

            And the list goes on as you find ways to authentically set a balance for yourself, and those whom you love. As you weigh out your impulses, with your goals, you'll find places where you can tweak your socialization skills to unify the needs and wants of everyone around you.

It takes getting tested, and shook up sometimes to make new beginnings that will truly stand the test of time.

          There's one other little shift going on with Mercury opposite Uranus, which leads me to believe some of you touched by this New Moon deeply will hear some form of shocking news soon. It would come out of the blue, possibly in one of the areas Mercury rules (snail mail, e-mail, or someone visiting). But regardless something you hear soon, is likely to shock you.

            New Moons are times of metaphorical seed planting, and we must be patient as these messages are delivered, and these signs seen. We are all on our own line in a way along the zodiac...and some of us pass through sooner than others.

Happy New Moon you guyz!

Use that Libra energy to see the divine beauty all around you!