#just proof I am alive

[candycryptids]

It's my birthday today (6/14) so I get to be mindlessly and shamelessly self-indulgent and pose myself with my speece's characters Kizuna and Setsuna Shader is I think from [Kore - Pearl's Dream] but I might be wrong, I downloaded that shader before I realized I should make creator folders so I'm not 100%

Kizuna is @zombiesockfuckinglovescardfight Also Sir Cash is here ;v; (the dog)

[jakes3resin]

Here's why Hallucination Bucky haunting Buck is amazing (there are many reasons but here's a big one): Bucky doesn't even have to be dead.

Sure, Bucky being dead works perfectly in this kind of AU. The inability to save Bucky leaves Buck bereft and alone in the world, so he holds on to the memory of Bucky so tightly he starts to see him again.

But!

The ambiguity of is Bucky dead or not is better. The reader doesn't know for sure, and Buck doesn't know. Hell the fic writer doesn't even need to know for sure. Leave that ending open y'all!

Buck having to go through his day swearing that Bucky is alive. He's fine. Bucky has to be fine. Him being fine is the only reason Buck can power through his day. He won't accept anything else until someone brings him Bucky's body.

And that can do a lot to a man's psyche.

Imagine it. Buck standing around Thorpe Abbotts after reassuring Harry and Rosie that Bucky is fine, he's simply back with the men taking care of them. Then he hears it. Bucky's laugh. He whirls around desperate and near joyous because of course Bucky made it out, of course he's laughing and about to yell at Buck to get his attention. Except what he finds isn't the John "Bucky" Egan that he left in Germany.

Instead, he turns around and sees the John he sent to London. Standing straight backed with cheeks that haven't gone through a diet of turnips and 'rabbit' soup, still wearing that awful sheepskin that Buck knows he traded away (Jack had given it back to him the moment he saw Buck) is His Bucky.

Arm raised to wave at Buck, Bucky grins. His smile is as bright as the sun, another spark of life Buck hasn't seen in months. Maybe years.

Bucky looks so young. Which he can't be because Bucky is older than him, but staring at this Bucky that no one else seems to realize is there that's what crosses Buck's mind. Bucky looks young. He looks happy and untouched by the hell they just went through together.

"Hey Buck!" Bucky's by his side without walking to him. "How was your flight? Ya miss me?"

And he falls into step once more with Buck chattering into his ear. Buck knows he isn't real, knows that Bucky isn't here, but he can't help but accept what little he has left of the other when he has no idea when or if he'll ever see Bucky again.

Because without a body, he has to live as if Bucky is still alive.

[steakout-05]

currently thinking and obsessing about the fact that my dad very likely went to an Australian version of Chuck E. Cheese called Charlie Cheese back in the early-to-mid 80s when he was a kid and how fucking COOL that is!!!

the fact that were was a whole balcony stage show with a Warblettes animatronic, a Madame Oink AND a Dolli Dimples in my country is absolutely amazing to me and i'm having so many thoughts about it. where are they now? do they still exist? did they have other rotating guest characters or was it just Madame Oink? were there any differences to the showtapes (such as name changes or localisations)? there's also this incredibly rare and adorable Charlie plush and i love him SO MUCH i'm rotating him around in my head right now

i'm kinda surprised that CEC had locations here at all back in the 80s because animatronics aren't really a big thing in Australia, at least not as much as they are in America. we never really had that big animatronic pizza craze over here and animatronic shows are a pretty rare sight here apart from the occasional big amusement park chain (but even then, they're not very common at all). but yeah i think it's fucking awesome that my dad went here as a kid as he recalls quite a lot of details about the show and the animatronics up on stage!! he specifically remembers the Grundy's location, that there was "a giant rat" and the cheese wall maze underneath the animatronics and it's SO COOL to me as someone who has a love for these old retro pizza animatronics!!! no joke one of my biggest dreams is to just see either an 80s cec animatronic or a rockafire animatronic irl one day and the fact that my dad got to see a cec show is amazing!! :D

P.S. here's a video i found of the Charlie Cheese show at Grundy's performing!!! it's at the 38 second mark and there's footage of Dolli Dimples performing too!!

[shannonsketches]

lays on the floor do you guys ever think about how in ResF Bulma falls for Vegeta's fake-out with Freeza and both she and Yamcha are worried about Vegeta's villain fake-out strategy in Champa and Beerus' mini tournament and how it's only been a couple of years since the Buu saga and how Vegeta straight up stopped using that strategy after that tournament

[medicus-mortem]

[💀] - Zoids!!!!

[laminy]

Ben gives Gwil a kiss, and then waves at the others. “Have fun! Don’t break anything.”

“He’s talking to you,” Gwil says, pointing at Joe.

“Why aren’t you coming?” Sami asks.

“Ben doesn’t like skiing,” Rami says.

“Why not?” Sami asks.

“I…” Ben shrugs, and laughs softly. “I just…don’t.”

“What are you gonna do all day then?” Sami asks.

“Sit in the lodge and drink hot cocoa,” Ben says.

“No! You have to come!”

“Ben doesn’t have to go skiing if he doesn’t want to, habibi,” Rami says, fixing Sami’s jacket.

“But I want him to,” Sami says.

“I don’t know how,” Ben says. “You’ll have more fun with your parents, without me slowing you down.”

“They can teach you,” Sami says.

“Yes, love,” Gwil says with a cheeky wink. “They can teach you.”

“I…” Ben swallows hard, and nods. It’s always been hard to tell Sami no. Since birth, even before he was old enough to ask for things. But Ben was really looking forward to his hot cocoa. He looks at Rami and Joe— Rami, of course, has his you don’t have to give in face on. Joe, of course, has on his you damn well better do it face. “How about a couple hours this morning,” he says finally, giving in.

“Yes!” Sami hops up and down, doing his karate chops as he cheers, and Ben smiles at Rami, already tired.

“Let me go grab my stuff.”

They wait for Ben to come back with his snow gear on, and Joe pats Ben on the back. “You’re a nice uncle.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

They shuffle outside, and Gwil kisses Ben. “Have fun.”

“Will do.”

Gwil and Joe head off to what Joe calls the big boy hill, leaving Rami, Ben, and Sami at the bunny hill where there’s instructors ready to go (tomorrow, Rami will take the big hill, and Joe will stick to the bunny).

“You don’t have to,” Rami murmurs, and Ben reaches up to adjust his hat.

“Yeah, I kind of do.” Ben looks around and sighs, and then grins at Sami. “Ready?”

“They teach,” Sami says, pointing at one of the instructors.

“They do,” Rami says. “Ready?” Sami nods eagerly, so Rami leads Sami over to one of the instructors. They get Sami set up on his skis, and help him up one of the tiniest, littlest hills that Ben’s ever seen. It looks more like they just shovelled a pile of snow.

Rami, of course, takes out his mobile to proudly snap photos of Sami as he goes down the little snow pile. Ben grins and claps for him, and Sami’s eager to go up and down over and over. 

Then it’s time to bump Sami up to an actual hill. Though not the whole way up, maybe like a quarter. Maybe less.

“You going up?” Rami asks Ben.

“I think he needs emotional support down here,” Ben says. “He needs someone to look at!”

“Okay.” Rami gets his skis and goes up the hill with Sami, and slowly goes down behind Sami, who’s going even slower. Like a snail’s pace. Then he speeds up some and starts wailing, so Ben hurries forward, ready to get him. 

Sami whines as he comes to a stop at the bottom, and he drops down on his bum.

“Are you alright?” Ben asks. “What’s going on?”

“I went too fast,” Sami says, looking up at him.

“Yeah,” Ben says. “You’ve seen Papa ski, he goes really fast.”

“I don’t like it.”

“Oh.” Ben looks over as Rami comes to a stop. “You don’t want to try it again?”

“What, you didn’t like it?” Rami asks.

“It was fast.”

“It’s downhill, habibi,” Rami says. 

“Is there no downhill?”

“What do you mean?” Rami asks.

“Can I ski not downhill?”

“Today we’re skiing on the hill,” Rami says.

Sami pouts, and his bottom lip wobbles, and he looks so, so sad. He looks at Ben, and then he looks back at Rami, poking him in the foot. He mumbles something, and Rami crouches down by him.

“What was that?” Rami asks, brushing some snow off Sami’s sleeve.

“I said, I’ll go again if Ben goes.”

Rami grins, and looks up at Ben. But then he puts on his serious face and looks back at Sami. “We don’t guilt people, habibi. If Ben doesn’t want to ski, he doesn’t have to.”

Oh, god. Ben shakes his head, but he already knows he’s going to say yes. He’s gonna do it. He can’t let Sami give up yet. “I can go down.”

“Really?” Sami hurries to his feet— or tries to, anyway, it’s a bit difficult with his skis on. He wobbles and grabs onto Rami. “Okay! I’ll go again!”

“Thank you,” Rami says, and Ben waves him off. Least he can do. Ben gets his skis on, and the three of them go up the hill together; again, not very far. But Rami goes down first, then Sami, and Ben follows behind him.

“You know how?” Sami asks. “You skied!”

“Just a little,” Ben says. “I’m not very good.” He’d gone on a handful of school trips when he was younger, Joe’s dragged him out before. That’s about the limit of his ability. It’s good enough for Sami, apparently.

“We’ll go again now,” Sami says, and Ben and Rami don’t even protest because they know there’s no other option.  

After that, Sami has so much fun going up and down his little hill, they lose track of time for the rest of the morning until Gwil and Joe come find them.

“Papa, I skied!” Sami throws his arms up in the air and tries hopping towards him but he stumbles on the skis. 

“Wow! That’s so cool!” Joe exclaims. “Baba?”

“We have photos,” Rami says.

“Love that,” Joe says.

“I’m surprised to see you still out here,” Gwil says, nudging Ben. “I think it’s a time for a lunch break.”

“Thank god,” Ben murmurs. They take off their skis, and make their way back to the lodge.

Gwil catches up with Rami and Sami, listening to all of Sami’s exciting stories.

“Did you have fun?” Joe asks, slinging his arm around Ben.

“I am tired as shit,” Ben says.

“And?”

Ben playfully rolls his eyes and sighs. “Yeah, yeah. It was…fun.”

Joe laughs loudly. “You don’t have to make it sound so awful.”

“It was good,” Ben says, glancing back at Rami and Sami. “They’re awesome.”

“I’ll get you your hot chocolate.”

“The biggest fucking one they have.”

Joe laughs again. “Deal.”

[richardxoliverxmayhew]

//me: I think living alone has made me braver :) also me: *a comprehensive list of things that have spooked me and made me jump like the scaredy cat I am*-the fire alarm sounding off for the 100th time -the sound of my neighbour's door suddenly closing -a literal tiny ass moth that suddenly flew by my face -my own music cause i forgot i had my earphones on 🧍‍♂️//

[daz4i]

why is it that everything that feels nice is bad for you but everything that's good for you feels bad. who designed these broken machines we call the human body and brain

[xcziel]

got a bunch of little baby plants and am doing some repotting but damn i have a hard time remembering which ones can't have direct light

all but a few of them are low light types because i don't like window or overhead light (i am a cave gremlin)

but some of them need at least indirect light and i'm trying to get those situated well to the french doors (also i bought another seasonal fern bc i am weak and it's hogging a bunch of the space)

some of the tiny ones are barely hanging on and idk what to do else besides sun+ water

i thiiiink it's the tiny peperomia, the mini spider plant, and the aglaonema that really need out of the direct sunbeams and the couple of little succulents that need moved in more

the one snake plant that i haven't watered for six months needed a bigger pot so i upgraded it and i hope it takes it well. the bitty pearl pothos doesn't need a bigger pot but less sun and more drainage i think, so it got a new pot too

why do i get tempted by plants when i hate natural light so much? i did buy a *little* grow light for the corner though

i need plants that are ok with just ambient low light - the sansevieria is out of the window reach entirely but has been putting up fresh green shoots? the big peace lily keeps unfurling new leaves in the dark corner as long as it gets plenty of water?

but the other peace lily that was by the window is crunchy now and idk how to rehab it (still green? and not wilted but the leaves are crunkly so)

also i seeded some rosemary and sage and they are sprouting but the mint did not come up at all ://

[doctor-says-im-alright]

Ive been wondering lately if I really do have bipolar with psychotic features or if I have schizoaffective. Idk why the idea of bipolar though is so offensive to me lol. I think its because I never really feel grandiose and thats just an unfair part of the bargain.

The main difference I found is psychosis symptoms outside of mood episodes. Ive been trying to figure that out, but as my moods are really long, Im not sure. I was thinking maybe that is true because this year I seem to launch into paranoia in a single afternoon instead of over months. But thats associated with a stressed mood, not anything neutral? Idk. My paranoia is generally after Ive become fully stressed, but honestly, it is possible I have delusions constantly. How do you even know? I know I have OCD but I am so fixated on death that it might be more delusional than just OCD - like I do have rituals but its mainly just stressful thoughts that Im being haunted and the proof was a dead bug.

But the past week I noticed I shifted into a different phase. Im suddenly energetic or agitated. Like laughing hysterically, talking a lot, becoming really upset or angry, sad, overwhelmed, and constantly unreasonably scared. Everything is a threat. I seem to be really focused on fires happening for some reason. I am sleeping way more than normal, actually my sleep is suddenly really stressful. I dont go to sleep unless I take meds but thats normal for me, but now I cant get up. Ill wake up and its like Im magnetised to the bed and am stuck for awhile until I actually wake up. I sleep 12-14 hours but when I look at my Fitbit data its somehow only 5-6 hours in that time Im asleep. I know it, too. Its like Im not asleep and am in my room but dreaming in it. I didnt even realize I was so upset about this until I saw a post by someone talking about training their service dog to wake them up properly and asking how to do it and I could cry with the relief if I could figure out something mine could do to help me with it.

I generally always get told Im too self aware to have any psychosis issues and I think Im good at sounding self aware but Im actually not at all. I have no idea what Im thinking or feeling, Im guessing based on any knee jerk things that may have come out. Like last year I was in the psych ward for paranoia, but I hadnt even noticed or was able to communicate, but can see it now, that I was actually in danger of attacking people because I believed they were going to kill me first, and that had been my motivation to go in. And it wasnt even the person I said I was paranoid of.

I cant even figure out if my hand hurts or not. I have no idea what Im thinking or feeling. I know Im jumpy and on level 100 of agitation. I just suddenly start crying, Im overwhelmed with proofs of life and death. If someone tells me a joke I literally cry laughing. My words are mixing up and I feel like I cant say anything. I read things Ive written and even Im like what?? What does that even say. I know I am having PTSD symptoms - thats a given with me. I know for months Ive been hyperfocused on it, its been a source of anger outbursts.

Like for some reason the thought of romance or sex or any relationship sends me into a flying rage. My dog licking my other dog disturbs me so deeply I immediately lose it and have to run outside or throw something. People talking about love and needing people makes me feel so revolted. Ive been half dating someone and they mentioned kissing and Im ready to set myself and everyone else on fire. I cant stand the thought of desire and needing someone and craving them it is disturbing and I want to be sick thinking about it. But Im not normally like this at all. Not at all.

I am asexual and aromantic and my friend keeps making sex jokes and referencing my being asexual and I swear to god Im going to throw up on him or hit him with a wooden spoon. Havent decided yet.

[spade-club]

Reminding myself that I did all of my goals I had for this year. Even if some of them turned out to be mistakes, I've come a long way in the past half a year especially, and even if I am currently struggling with the weight of it all right now, these achievements are nothing to ignore or take value away from.

[geffenrecords]

i think i truly did not enjoy the mcr tour as much asi couldve because like we stopped being friends aorund that time which is so. wow haha. 

[angelformed]

the state of the aot fandom today is soooo sad…. like. i hate to say it but it was better when ereris were running it yea cursed ship but it wasnt misery and discourse everyday and a significant proportion of the fandom wasnt basically anime mgtows ……. sigh….. miss the days of jaeger bombastic….. do u wanna kill some titans…. marco is still alive theories… the bubblepop cmv……

[noxtivagus]

I LOVE FINAL FANTASY SO MUCH

[ranger-kellyn]

.

[tender-rosiey]

from me to you — gojo satoru x f!reader

a/n: this takes place in chapter 268, soo sort of spoilers ahead? also long live gojo satoru; gojo leaves you a letter 🙏

“y/n-sensei, there is a letter for you as well!”

that catches your attention, and you look up at the first years. you tilt your head slightly, and yuuji hands you an envelope.

you gently take it from him, and the first thing you notice is “wifey” written on it then the doodle of satoru with his blindfold on. you feel your throat tighten, and your hands shake slightly.

you let out a small breath then shakily open the letter.

hey, honey!!

it first reads.

I feel like there is still much I didn’t tell you in our last meeting, so here I, your beautiful and handsome husband, am writing them down.

you swallow lightly, and a small smile appears on your face as you imagine satoru saying that, then you continue to the next line.

first, I changed all your computer passwords to variations of “satoruisthebest” at one point. your confusion was so cute!!

you quirk an eyebrow at the admission, but when you rack your brain, you remember that one day when you couldn’t log into your computer.

what you vividly remember was satoru being sat beside you the whole time, and now that you think about it. he was smiling so widely the entire time, letting out small chuckles every now and then. oh, that sneaky man.

“satoru, I am telling you it’s broken!”

“sweetheart, we spent over 2000$ on that. if it broke, then we could easily sue the company,” he chuckled, arm wrapping around your shoulder and pulling you closer.

“2 year guaranteed top performance my ass!”

you smile at the memory. it was pretty satoru of him to do that. your eyes then move to continue reading.

second, there are times when I would tell megumi that you would be coming with me, then he would turn and leave me when he found out I was tricking him.

your eyes glance up at said boy who is sat across of you. he made it out alive, despite everything. he suffered so much, but he made it.

it makes you relieved, and you can imagine satoru being bloody proud of him and saying something along the lines of ‘you handed sukuna’s ass to him, very cool!’

no matter how much megumi had frowned and grimaced at satoru’s presence or antics. it rooted itself as something—safe and familiar.

you can’t count on your hands the times when you and satoru would visit the siblings, and nobody really said it, but these meetings did all of you a favor, a chance to kind of wind down. maybe act like death might actually not be looming tomorrow.

it feels like just yesterday when megumi would cling to you when he got really sad or nervous, after so much time spent getting comfortable with each other.

he grew up well, you think, eyes gliding to next.

third, I hid your uniform every two to three weeks, so you have to stay with me.

at that, your eyes widen a bit. satoru’s schedule was pretty packed, but he somehow managed to squeeze time for quality time between you two.

it tugged on your heartstrings, and you made sure he knew how much you appreciated it, not a single space on his face left without a kiss. however, finding out that he went out of his way to make you rest and stay.

satoru’s care really showed in his actions, and you feel like this is the biggest proof of it.

“satoru, have you seen my uniform?”

“nope! maybe, it is a sign to stay home today? you’ve been working so hard, wifey!”

you cupped his face, pulled him down to your height, and kisses his cheek, “you’ve been working harder, ‘toru. let me take off some of the load at least.”

“we could both stay!”

“you’re kidding, right?”

“I already told yaga; I miss you!”

you try to stop the reminiscing further and try to compose yourself before reading the rest.

fourth, I’m the one who kept adjusting the thermostat. I just wanted an excuse to cuddle.

a fond yet melancholy smile appears on your face. you kinda figured that one out. satoru’s favorite pastime was cuddling, so it’s no surprise that he would go out of his way to create the need for it even further.

add to that, once you went to get some green tea and saw him from the corner of your eye teleport to the thermostat, click something, then teleport back to bed.

you figured that the room being chilly that night was not an exception in the middle of july.

“babeeee, it’s so cold! let’s cuddle!”

“maybe the problem is with the thermostat?”

“I checked! I think cuddling is the best solution.”

you giggle as you recall the moment, one of many similar. your heart feels a bit lighter as you go through the letter. something satoru managed to always do even in person.

he would plaster sticky notes, get you trinkets, and even pull pranks on other just to see you smile. feeling more encouraged, you keep on reading the letter.

then you feel your chest constrict so tightly that you might just throw up.

fifth, I am really gonna fucking miss you.

you read the line over again, and you purse your lip in hopes of silencing any noise that may come out as you feel the lump in your throat return, even worse than before. your breathing starts getting more difficult.

your grip on the letter tightens, and you find yourself thinking back to the good times. memories of late nights spent in each other’s arms, thinking about everything and nothing at once.

hushed whispers of confessions and quiet giggles as you reminisced on your highschool days. tight hugs when recalling the sad moments and the departure of a certain someone.

“you know, y/n, I think we might just be made for each other,” he said one night. you hummed and looked him in the eyes.

“three am thoughts?”

“three am admissions,” he grins slightly, “I am made for you, and you’re made for me.”

you remember him pulling you closer and kissing your forehead, while you teased, “and what would you need little old me for, so much that I got made?”

he feigns thinking then closes his eyes, burying his face in your shoulder, “grounding me.”

I love you. I really do, but you should know that already, right?

your eyes drift down to the corner of the paper, and that is when you feel your tears start free-falling. there is drawn a chibi satoru besides a chibi you and between them is a heart.

the chibi satoru is giving yours a big smooch, while she laughs. you never thought that the day your jealousy burns would be because of drawings, and drawings of you and your own husband, nonetheless.

“but wow, gojo-sensei is shit at writing letters,” you hear nobara remark.

megumi responds with a small chuckle, “I am fine with mine.”

“what about you, y/n-sensei?—”

the trio becomes silent as you let out a sob. a watery smile makes its way up your face as you kiss the letter gently and murmur, “so shitty.”

taglist: @magenta-cat-drawingss@pompompurin1028@scul-pted@requiem626k@nameless-shrimp@sonder-paradise@jessbeinme15s-notebook @todorokichills @ginneko @missrown @shrynkk @simplyxsinned @beautiful-is-boring @starlostlaiba @izukus-gf @irethepotato @thekaylahub @dazaisbloodybandages @aeanya @sweetcloudsimp @moon-catto @the-midnightskies@pianopuppygirl @gojosblackqueen @kryscent @kunikida-simp @whoami-72 @mx-0-child @fiona782 @kisakitwister @imjustasimpxd @psychopotatomeme @dreamcastgirl99 @watyousayin @doobiebochana @laylasbunbunny @hojicha-expresso @4sat0ruu @nineooooo @chuuyasboots @alekssashka7 @rieejjyubi02 @satoryaa @nothisispatrick300 @fallencrescentmoon @etheviese @ho34gojo @the-mom-friend-dot-com @the-weeping-author

@libbyistired @anon1412@maehemthemisfit @satorustar @b4nka1@sad-darksoul@ko-fi-heart@pumpkindudeishere@suyaaachin@babyqueen17@chaosguy352@murakami-kotone@sukun4ryomen@yumieis@hearts4itoshi@sleepyxxhead@dunixxd@sleepycrybbylaiah @imjustaduckwholikesbread @emilyyyy-08@spacebaby1@arabellatreaty@viscade @washeduphasbeen @janbannan @sugurubabe @enidths @mwtsxri @peppersapro @uranosbaaee @lifeisadumpie @guacam011y @kurooandkenmasslut @callmemirro

copyright © tender-rosiey

do not copy or plagiarize or I will tell @callmemirro

check out my buy me a coffee!