#just started my transition and im Starting to feel Worth It tm

[transarsonist]

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[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

i have to ask because im lost asf i just started playing ikem vamp and its been like two months and a half? i guess and i want to know whos faust, vlad and charles please enlighten me bc i see people talking about them and i feel so left out since looking through all the characters i dont see them or those names on display?

No worries at all, friend! I hope this reply is informative without being too confusing 💕💕💕

Your bewilderment is perfectly understandable, given the three characters you mentioned: Vlad, Faust, and Charles, were all released exactly one year ago for the second anniversary of the Japanese game's release! (The Japanese Version of Ikevamp is about 2 entire years worth of content ahead of the English version. For example, in the Japanese app it is currently the third anniversary of the game's release--not the first.) As such, those three characters are temporarily exclusive to the Japanese version--they won’t be appearing in the English version for another year, at least!

More details about who they are beneath the cut (I’ll be doing my best to minimize spoilers, but talking about them usually necessitates some level of spoiling future content): 

That being said, that doesn't clarify who they are, yeah? Let me get into that! In several routes there are allusions to an unnamed antagonist; somebody who is turning people from the past and causing the residents of the mansion a great deal of distress as a result. For instance, in Mozart's route, we run into the famous Antonio Salieri; Mozart's historical rival in composing music (and esteemed colleague). There is no explanation in regards to his origins (and we know Comte didn't turn him), and he leaves peacefully with no larger conflict in the end of the main story.

This, however, is not the case in every route. Resurrected historical rivals/acquaintances range from seeking reconciliation to deranged with vengeance. When the more violent/desperate characters come into play (as with Isaac or Jeanne’s route), questions arise as to who is targeting the residents of the mansion (who other than Jeanne would recognize Gilles de Rais? and who turned him if it wasn’t Comte?) This unnamed pureblood who is turning human beings from the past is revealed right before the release of Shakespeare's main story--largely because he starts to play a more major villainous role in the routes that come after. His name is Vlad--or as he's more colloquially known;Vlad the Impaler, Vladislav II of Wallachia, the Romanian legend of vampire mythology.

We learn Vlad's larger motivations in Comte's route, and he essentially has two discrete goals that we can identify as of now:

1. Finding the secret of immortality in order to turn humans into pureblood vampires (lesser vampires are only partial immortals; they can survive for hundreds of years, but eventually die--purebloods cannot die no matter how many years pass). Reason why? Because pureblood loneliness go brrrr

2. Ruling humanity via unilateral despotism, more or less (he loves humanity in a...weird way....). He says to Comte that he wishes to turn/use the talented men of history in order to sway humanity into eternal nonviolence. Essentially, he wants an international state of surveillance that all leads back to him to create world peace. He develops this aspiration after seeing a devastated future in the time-traveling door (he made the one in the mansion with Comte, and he made another one when they parted ways in his castle disguised as a cathedral). He believes that control is the only true method that will save humanity from itself, and will preserve the beauty of the world he loves so much (once again, he’s;;;;;; really weird..........it’s like how White Men^TM believe Lord of the Flies is the Ultimate Truth in regards to how society “inevitably” functions when like...society has constructs which are technically malleable if the people making decisions give enough of a fuck? Anyway ignore me, I just can’t help it Vlad is such an incel clown sometimes jklghdd)

Now then, Faust and Charles are two lesser vampires from the past who were turned by Vlad. They seek to further Vlad's goals and are at least partially under his control (he is able to manipulate people's perceptions/thoughts/dreams via a kind of telepathy). They often act in Vlad's stead and spy on the residents of the mansion. Faust is a pastor/doctor who is doing research to accomplish the immortality Vlad is seeking for humanity. There are only allusions made to it, but he experiments often on the vampires Vlad has created (including Vlad, and probably Shakespeare too given his...affiliation) to achieve this end when he’s not fronting their cathedral. (If this sounds mafia-like to you, congratulations! You get a cookie!) He is presumably the German alchemist Johann Georg Faust noted in historical records, though given the game’s writing it is highly possible elements of his personality are somewhat intermixed with the literary figure “Faust.” 

Charles is based on the historical figure Charles-Henri Sanson, who was the royal executioner for Louis XVI and High Executioner for the First French Republic. (Essentially, he was tasked with killing enemies of the crown and the newly founded government before and after the transition period of the French Revolution. The man saw rivers of blood, one can only imagine...) He is our genki French guillotine baby who just wants everyone to get along really, really badly. Problem is Comte = k n i f e at Vlad and seeks to protect his children, so Vlad’s castle remains a dumpsterfire danger zone where three vampires + 1 insurgent live in absolute chaos. If Comte is the sweet, responsible father of the game Vlad is basically like...that single mother who has children she does not properly supervise/feed and the neighbors are always inches from calling Child Services.

Bonus: In case you were wondering what they looked like, you can see them integrated into the Japanese game’s intro screen with their respective character summaries. They are listed in the following order: Vlad, Faust, and Charles.

[vulture-jack]

First visit with a psychiatrist my doctor referred me to tm

gonna talk about the trans stuff

im mostly nervous about the longish but not terribly long drive, and the possibility that he wont be able to help me/itll take a super long time before i can do anything/i dont get any kinda time frame at all 

i mean im also going for anxiety and depression but the longer ive been out to my dad and family and the closer i get to the concept of medical transition, the better i’ve been feeling in general

where before, i felt like i would instantly jump at the chance to try medication, now I’m having mixed feelings.  I’m worried about possible side effects no longer being worth it due to my better mood. Then again, there is still a lot that I deal with in terms of anxiety, lack of motivation, tiredness, dulled emotions, etc.  I’m just not “down”.  I’m frustrated and a bit numb and can’t deal with stress very well, i procrastinate and struggle to feel emotions, im anxious quite often, and my life is relatively simple right now.  So I don’t know how well I’m going to handle moving forward. So theres stuff to talk about and im willing to try things. 

But since I came out, I realized just how much I was affected by being closeted.  I had no idea how much of it was that.  It was like, before I didn’t have a future or anything to look forward to, and now I do. Before I accepted myself I didnt know who i was, so it was hard to like myself and who i was. I like myself better now. Now that I know that I can, and most likely will be transitioning soon, makes me so happy. I’m way more sure than I thought I would ever be, i gave myself a long time to reach this conclusion. 

Now I’m mostly frustrated with all the waiting I know I’m going to have to do. Because I feel like I’m waiting to get my life started so I can be seen as who I am and feel comfortable in public, talking to new people.  I want to meet people. I want to fall in love. I want to work and have my coworkers see me as me. I want to not have to awkwardly skirt around questions or feel like I’m lying by omission. I want the world to see me as me so damn bad.  

I’m nervous.  But its not because I’m unsure. I’m nervous bc its a long drive and it costs money and I gotta make sure i get to this farish away place ive never been on time by myself, and I gotta explain this as best I can, and I gotta just HOPE tomorrow gets me even a STEP closer. 

Cuz I’m getting older and I’m getting tired of not being me, and waiting to live my life.