#just the trauma vibes lmao

[nachosncheezies]

In defense of late-canon x files (including the revivals)

I was thinking about this poll after I commented on it, and I kinda want to be brave and say more.

Short answer to the poll's question before I go any further: If you're a new fan and a sensitive sort who thinks you'll struggle with your blorbos Really Going Through It and you really need a happy ending, I suggest you stop at the end of season 8. Do not pass go, do not look at spoilers. Disregard this post entirely, close the internet, and go look at something that makes you happy. (Also fuck every part of society that characterizes sensitivity as inherently weak and bad and some kind of personal failing, you are valid.)

That said, "quality" as a concept is entirely subjective, and the question of whether or not there's a decline in quality for any story is wholly subjective, too. In the case of x files? I'm not convinced there is a decline. I am going to be upfront that I haven't yet watched past season 8, though I am almost completely spoiled on events after that - and the reason I haven't watched yet is not because of how I know events are going to unfold, but simply because I don't want it to end!!! Ohh, the tension between "I CAN'T WAIT!!!" and "Nooo don't be over D:"

When I first came to txf fandom on tumblr and gradually became spoiled about what happens in late canon though, I was often left uncomfortable and tbh kinda queasy about it. As I said in my comment on the poll, the hate for especially the revival and IWTB, or to a lesser extent even seasons 8 & 9, is very well documented. But! There are other takes to be found here on tumblr if you figure out where to look, and my feelings have changed!

The thing is, I have yet to find myself in any fandom where there isn't a vocal subset of fans who dislike the story after a certain point. I am not joking when I say that no one hates the things they love as passionately as sci-fi and fantasy fans. In my experience, it often hinges on the extent to which a viewer has strong notions on where they would like the characters to end up. In particular with series where shipping is a dominant component for the bulk of a fandom, I have almost universally found that there comes some turning point in the story where "let them be happy you cowards" is the dominant view, and things that compromise the attainment of a degree of romantic stability and/or domesticity are, to many fans, annoying at best and despicable at worst. But! As one tagset on the linked poll said:

and I think for any fandom, that last tag especially is so so so important. (I think that's harder for people watching a weekly series live, bc you have so much time to analyze and speculate and dream before the next breadcrumb drops, but I digress.)

So why am I saying this and how do I apply it to x files? Well, I eventually found that there are also a subset of fans who find redeeming things right up to the very end and actually quite like the whole thing! The things that I had seen people rage and ventpost so much about honestly never quite sounded to me as "out of character" or "untrue to the story" etc as those same ventposts made them sound. And I've discovered I'm not the only one who felt that way. Do I love that the spooky squad had to go through all of those things? No, those poor guys D: Life is hard and they have been through so much trauma. But do those events and their choices make sense to me in light of everything that came before? Yes! And I honestly can't wait to see them fight to overcome those things, breaking, healing, always learning, always growing, always getting better.

So if you're wondering "where does it go wrong"... well, I'm a completionist, as many people who've answered that post are, but also my personal opinion is that I don't think it does go wrong. If you're new and interested in exploring why I've gone from "vaguely queasy" to "excited" about the whole thing, or want to maybe balance out the impressions you're getting about the later seasons before deciding whether or not you want to see the whole thing, I'll put a few blog names in the comments.

Final admission: even once I started feeling a little more confident in the possibility that "actually ok maybe I'm not crazy, maybe this all kind of is in character and does make sense", there was one big plot point that I was NOT looking forward to and I thought I would never be comfortable about. In hindsight, I think my discomfort came from the negative responses being SO seemingly universal that I hadn't stopped to let myself truly consider other possible interpretations on that point. (I mean my initial instinct when I first read about it was, why are we mad about this?? CSM is literally the most unreliable narrator in history???? it's obviously fake news?????? this must be either a fever dream someone's having or it's a misdirection ploy against whatever shadowy forces might still be lurking?????????????? but for whatever reason I guess I had halfway written that off.) Happily, just last month there's a new post-s11 novel out, and although reviews for the book as a whole are mixed, it seems to have laid the groundwork for resolving that plot issue in a way I think most fans would be broadly happy with. If you're interested in being spoiled about that and seeing how, I recommend searching #perihelion on @agent-troi who liveblogged reading it with receipts, scroll back chronological-style to the first post on the subject and see how it unfolded. (And never forget that Dana Katherine Scully is the queen of denial as a coping mechanism lol)

Everyone's mileage will vary. Each person can feel however they want! But for anyone new, I wanted you to know that the very many ventposts you might be seeing are not all there is to this show or its fandom. Some of us love it despite - or even because of - all the things that went "wrong". I think we just don't talk about it as much.

[lylahammar]

my hot dunmeshi take is that not every character is autistic

.........bc there are other flavors of neurodivergency that fit some of them better ✌️

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

I’m now fairly certain that every Persona protagonist is (or has been) some flavour of depressed/traumatized, with the exception of Chad Narukami

[pynkhues]

I'm really sorry you and your sister are dealing with that

(no pressure to publish this, not that there should ever be pressure to publish an ask if you don't want to, of course, but just wanted to say I hope you're doing okay)

Ah, thank you, anon, it's okay. It's been a while now (court moves slooow), but we're getting hopefully close to the end. She filed in Family Court December 2022, and we've had about five interim hearings with final trial (finally) scheduled over four days next month, so fingers crossed! But yeah, it's been A Time. He's financially and emotionally abusive against my sister, and both those things as well as medically negligent against their children (who are only six and eight and both have special needs), so it's been....rough. To say the least.

But on a lighter note, have one of my new favourite photos I took of my nephews at the jellyfish enclosure at the aquarium last month!

[asparklerwhowrites]

ohhh shima sousuke makes me so sick. what do you mean he distances himself from the world and goes with the flow and does whatever he thinks will please others because he's so out of touch with his own emotions?

manga spoilers

him and mitsumi breaking up was so sad and simple and the fact that when you're almost permanently disassociated from yourself and feel almost nothing it is impossible to be in a loving healthy relationship. a relationship cant fix you. and sometimes, you can love a person with all your heart and soul and still feel nothing and be tricked by your own mind that you don't really love them. because when smiling and crying and being angry are just. things. they aren't emotions. they arent really what you feel. neither is love.

and if youve neglected your needs and yourself like shima has for years and years youve created a trap for yourself which you cant escape because loving someone means confronting yourself and your trauma and baggage. it means you need to get better and you start to realise that. it means feeling things and thats the worst.

manga spoilers end

skip and loafer is not just a sweet high school drama it depicts extremely unhealthy behvaiour in the way it exists irl. your best friend might be someone who smiles because its the same as not-smiling. things are just routine, its easier to smile and be approachable and make small talk than hole and shut yourself up. this series makes me so sick.

[good-beanswrites]

I already brought this up, but for quicker reference:

Order of Attack: Mahiru nightmare sequence about Kotoko's attacks. Gotta round out the guilty trio.

Feel free to not prioritize this. :D

LISTEN, I CAN'T BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR THE ANGST THAT YOU REQUEST (<- made myself sad over Mappi and worries I may be in trouble for this one). Obligatory "I don't hate Kotoko and think she's very complex but from these character's pov I had to make her solely scary I'm sorry." And of course I was prioritizing this 👀👀👀 I really loved your nightmare sequences, I tried to make one that completed the set but was still unique!! Thank you for the request >:3

TW for referencing her bf's suicide, and descriptions of the attack injuries

“Aw, come on, you can tell me~” Yuno turned her attention away from where she’d been helping Mahiru with dinner. “Both Fuuta and Amane have had nightmares about her. Hell, I’ve had a nightmare or two about her. I won’t think you’re a mean person for admitting it.”

“I’m not lying,” Mahiru insisted. Her lips rounded into a little pout.

Yuno studied her expression. The girl had a way of really looking at someone when she wanted to. Sometimes it was a wonderful feeling – her gaze could be full of understanding, warmth. You were seen. You were heard. She saw you for all that you were. 

But in times like these, Mahiru found herself shifting under the pressure of it. Yuno was truly seeing her. She could see how Mahiru’s smile was frozen in its forced shape these past few weeks. She could see the way she flinched at loud noises, or how all the blood drained from her face when Kotoko’s voice echoed from the room next door. In waking, there was no doubt Mahiru was afraid of her. In sleep, though…

Yuno took her hands in both of hers.

“Then… what do you dream about?”

—

Mahiru was in the woods. She was running, her feet bare, her breath hitching. 

At first, she thought she was fleeing something. Danger and death loomed around her. The trees closed in. The canopy plunged her into darkness. The branches reached out to tear at her flowered dress, or snag on her hair. The trees pressed close to suffocate her. She grabbed at her throat. 

At some point, it became clear she was running towards something. A figure came into her view, just ahead. Though he didn’t appear to be running, she couldn’t catch up to him. She had to. He was in danger. She had to get to him. She had to stop him. 

He entered a clearing up ahead. Mahiru could just barely see into it. She tried to scream out, begging him to stop, but no words came out of her wheezing mouth. She could stop everything, she could stop all of this, if only –

She burst through the clearing. The figure, now a young woman, stood in the center. She faced away. 

Mahiru tried again to tell Kotoko to stop, but it didn’t matter whether or not she could speak, now; it was too late. 

On the ground below, between tree roots and scattered leaves, lay two small bodies.  

Mahiru’s hands flew to cover her mouth. Her legs grew weak with horror. There was blood everywhere, and bones bent at wrong angles. Fuuta’s limbs were twisted and limp. Amane had curled herself to cover her face, blood streaming from between her fingers.

 Kotoko, too, had red-stained hands. She surveyed her work with pride.

“What… have you done…?”

Slowly, Kotoko turned. Mahiru wanted to turn around and run before those bloodthirsty eyes could land on her. Her legs stayed frozen in place even as her heart raced in her chest. 

Kotoko met her gaze. Then, she gave a gentle smile.

“Thank you.”

Mahiru stumbled back a few steps.

“You let this happen.” 

“No…”

“You did. You could have stopped this, but you didn’t. Thank you.”

“I-I didn’t –! This isn’t – ! I thought –”

“You knew this was going to happen.” She spoke a familiar name, and Mahiru shook her head violently. “You knew what he was planning. You had plenty of chances to stop him. You didn't. You knew what I was planning. You know how to calm people down, how to bring groups together. But you didn’t speak to me once about it. You wanted this to happen.”

“I didn’t!” She said it frantically, unsure if she was trying to convince Kotoko, the two beaten prisoners, herself, or someone else. “I didn’t.” The statement was true, but it didn’t change anything that Kotoko had said.

The forest closed in. Kotoko reached a hand out, beckoning to her.

“We make a good team, don’t we?”

“No…” 

Mahiru was struck with the thought that she didn’t want to take hold of such a disgusting hand, only to glance down at her own. They were just as slick with blood. She let out a shriek.

It was Amane’s. It was Fuuta’s. It was his. 

Mahiru’s legs finally gave out on her. When she looked up, Kotoko was still smiling.

“So… who will be next?” 

—

Mahiru slipped away from Yuno’s grasp. 

“Oh, don’t you worry about little old me!” She turned back to their work. She brushed her hands off on her apron, giving them an extra swipe for good measure. “I promise, Kotoko isn’t the villain in my dreams.”

[clownsnake]

okay nonbinary character in Orv alert. slay

[thegodcomplcx]

the let’s kill hitler 11river set up falls really short of the mark to me. just like every other interaction the doctor and river have, he just uhm. doesn’t like her lmao. they try and fulfill the foreshadowing from ep 2 where river says he knew everything about her when they first met by having the doctor calling for river etc etc, and melody understands this as him calling for a lover (eventually to realize she is river; she is the lover). but it’s not like the doctor is pining for river, he’s only calling her name because. she’s literally in front of him and that’s the name he’s known her as for 99% of their relationship. he’s quite literally just addressing her. every fun and flirty interaction they have is either proceeded or succeeded by the doctor outright saying “i don’t like you and i don’t trust you and i don’t like that you have power over me because you know my future” which kinda undercuts the whole thing for me. the whole bootstrap paradox of their relationship doesn’t justify itself well enough for me to be invested.

[helioscenic]

TAG GAME: PINTEREST NAME AESTHETIC

RULES: Search the name of your oc followed by the word,

1. Fashion

2. Pantone

3. Food

4. Mood

Then use the first pin (or second OR TENTH...) that comes up in your search.

Thanks for leaving this as an open tag @winglesswriter !!

- ALISTAIR

- MAGDALENE

- SORROW

TAGGING

@writingamongther0ses @cream-and-tea @serpentarii @wildswrites @strangerays

And of course anyone else who would like to play :)

[dennisboobs]

im gonna let you guys in on a little secret.

the more macden shippers shit on other pairings, the more multishippers like me will move towards their secondary and/or tertiary pairings. if i can't go into the charden tag without seeing a post intentionally tagged with multiple ships and trying to spark discourse between them by saying people who ship "rarepairs" are stupid and delusional, first of all, that's an instant fucking block, but like. I'm not going to feel like talking about macdennis when it feels like there's such an obnoxious pressure on you to fall into line and accept the widely preached and accepted fanon canon.

I love macden too. and I would post about and enjoy it a lot more if y'all didn't make it feel like we had to pick a side. just because you prefer the big popular ship, that doesn't make you smarter, or more correct than anyone who ships charden or charmac, it just means you have different preferences. i think macden has the biggest chance of being an actual couple on the show, and obviously mac and dennis are both gay and queer respectively, but if i want to ship charden, why can't i do that too? fandom is supposed to be fun, and it's supposed to be enjoyable, i don't want to have to fight to prove that this ship that i personally see working and enjoy the dynamics of is a "valid ship" when i am fully aware that they're not going to be canon that's kind of the point, and why i prefer it. and for the love of god... if you hc a pairing as platonic, that is perfectly fine. that's how i see charmac myself, but that is your view and your problem, not the shippers'. just block the tag so you don't have to see it if it bothers you that much.

and i don't like several of the other common rarepairs, but have any of you ever seen me talking shit on charmac or chardee shippers? no. stay in your lane and let people live. i'm sick of seeing people acting superior over a fucking it's always sunny in philadelphia ship.

[kohakhearts]

i made a joke about how i could go 2 for 2 whumptobers on 100k word shigegou fics (a joke because i need to finish posting entanglement first obviously. and then my actual novel that is no two years overdue) but i was thinking about the time loop prompt. it’s one of those tropes i’ve always loved from a distance because i think it takes a lot of elegance as a writer to execute well. but i was thinking about how in the classic time loop scenario you have a character who has to come to terms with the fact that things turned out the way they did and no amount of fixating on the moment will change that

and well…what i like about goh as a Blorbo is that he’s super avoidant of and yet, of course, completely moulded by his experiences. so i like the idea of sticking him in a time loop specifically to force him to relive things he is determined to look away from. and not for the purpose of realizing that nothing he could have done could have made a difference, but for the purpose of realizing that he’s not a passive actor in his own life, or anybody else’s for that matter (this is actually tangential to the thesis of entanglement too, though that has the layer of “i can’t change what was, but i can change what will be”). why stick gary in the loop with him? well a) i can and b) they’re both too prideful to admit they need help from each other. or in goh’s case, too prideful to stoop to helping someone who insists he doesn’t need his help.

idk i don’t feel like i have enough of an Idea to write it just yet but i HAVE been thinking about it. the other thing i love about the time loop narrative is that the person inside the loop spends months to years or longer forming emotional attachments to the other players in the scenario, but no one else retains their memories - so they have to confront that the situation changed how they see the world and no one else is ever going to “get” that, necessarily

[out-of-heaven-and-hell]

And they wonder why she left heaven.

[savage-rhi]

✨️Magenta✨️

[quixoticrobotic]

There is a 99.9% chance that nothing will ever be ok ever again.

[fellhellion]

yadda yadda we all have different interpretations of art, but i also feel like "miguel is absolutely retraumatised when mayday crawls all over him and peter is a bad friend for not noticing" just kind of. ignores the intended comedic tone of the scene? as well as the fact miguel has doesn't tense up in the aftermath of baby hold + peter ribbing him. he relaxes.

[huntershowl]

i think the reason i don't like doing pre-established ships (it's gotta happen naturally, either in threads or in the pursuit of plotting something not explicitly romantic) is that seph is so fucking stubborn. she HATES being told what to do (haha unless—) so it has to be Her Muse's Decision and Not Mine.

same thing with ships that they're not feelin anymore — sometimes it happens, usually in low-conflict / low-aggression ships. they're so fucked up your honor. i know it's my fault but they're SO fucked up