#just the way hugh laurie plays house in that episode is so... specific.

[realbeefman]

everytime i rewatch one day, one room i expect house to disclose some sort of SA trauma and every time i am shocked when that isn't what happens

[bougiebutchbitch]

Bougie your art is so pretty oh my gosh 🥺 you always put such nice details into clothes folds and your shading. Your most recent art piece + the one where they’re kissing on the table you drew awhile back, those are my favorites so far, especially with the colors!!! please infodump to me about the two funky little dudes you’ve been drawing!! I must know more about them so I can swan dive into your newest fics!!! -🌟

AHHHHHHH Gosh gosh starburst anon - as always, you flatter me! And also as always, i love it

The two funky little dudes are House and Wilson from the highly bingeable hospital procedural, House MD. They're basically Holmes and Watson, but instead of investigating crime, they're trying to diagnose and cure dangerous rare diseases! They're both very interesting, multi-dimensional, and, frankly horrible characters - they care for each other very much, but also constantly hurt each other.

It's like watching a car crash! You just can't look away.

House is your classic tortured genius - autistic coded, addicted to painkillers, in chronic agony from an old wound to his leg (yes I know it was Watson with the cane and bad leg originally, shhh), depressed-borderline-suicidal (he attempts suicide. many times. on screen.). A savant with an attitude problem who struggles to let anyone close, he's emotionally closed-off yet also incredibly vulnerable. He has more daddy issues than the average seahorse, and - oh yes - he's canonically a massive brat.

He's a total prick to everyone around him, with an average of thirty hatecrimes against minorities per episode. On the rare occasion he lets someone get close, he will then spend the rest of their relationship pushing and pushing and pushing and pushing until they snap and leave him, because he's incapable of feeling secure and uncomfortable with being loved. Yet at the same time, he clings to anyone who puts up with him and will fight in the most underhanded and dirty ways to make them stay close to him, because he's absolutely desperate for human affection.

He's also just... an ass.

He's played by Hugh Laurie of British comedy fame - he of the Exceedingly Expressive Eyebrows and incredibly versatile musical talents. In this series, he shows off that he has range, and can also play a scruffy, sharp-cheekboned Sad And Snarky Doctor with very pretty big blue eyes.

Wilson is House's sidekick, his carer, his best friend, his brother, his totally-a-lover, his dom, his everything, his reason for living. He just struggles to figure out who he is outside of House. He's an Oncologist who specifically went into a field where the ends are almost always pre-determined. Kind, mannerly and gentle, he is beloved by his patients and has such a sympathetic bedside manner that he regularly gets thanked for delivering terminal diagnoses.

He is authoritiatve and stubborn - but incapable of making decisions in his own interest, rather than to please someone else. Ridiculously competitive - but a total enabler when it comes to watching House ruin his life in a thousand different and entertaining ways.

He's also an awful person. A compulsive cheater on each of his wives, he's a manipulative asshole, and isn't afraid to gaslight House to get his own way. He is very, very, very good at convincing everyone that he's Nice and Friendly - himself included - even when he's doing the most heinous things. He plays House's conscience so much that he's 100% convinced of his righteousness - as is House, to a degree. Even when Wilson is very, very wrong.

(But most of the time, he does have a point.)

These two have a wonderful, fascinating and dangerously codependant narrative, and I love them both so much.

[lilydalexf]

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Audrey Roget

Audrey Roget has 10 fics at Gossamer, with some different ones at AO3, fanfiction.net, and her website. You might know her from her very good fics or as part of Musea, a collective that all wrote fic and posted X-Files fic recs. I’ve recced some of my favorites of her stories here before, including Three Times Dana Scully Didn’t Go to San Diego for Christmas and The Shirt. Big thanks to Audrey for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)? A little, yes. Not so much by folks who were around in those days. I sometimes go hunting for beloved stories from the early years, both those I read and loved, and those I never got around to. I am always delighted to hear that later generations of fans have stumbled across my stuff, especially since I haven’t posted anything new in a number of years. It’s fantastic that both years-long fans and new ones are out there continuing to rec fic from all eras, and to maintain archives for fans yet-to-be born. What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it? What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general? It may sound corny, but the main thing I think of, and the thing that has ultimately been most valuable and lasting, has been the friendships. The feeling of having found a tribe – not just of TXF fans, but of other people who could be as enthusiastically engaged as I was (if not more so) with fictional stories and characters – was mind-blowing. Since I was a kid, I had often mulled over the books/movies/TV I loved and speculated internally about what happened off the page or off-screen, or created new stories for characters in my head. But, except for an elementary school phase where I and my two BFFs regularly played Charlie’s Angels, I hadn’t engaged in that kind of gleeful immersion in a fictional world with others until TXF fandom. My involvement in fandom followed pretty quickly from getting hooked on the show, so for me, it’s all one big ball of experiences. Even as my interest in/involvement in fandom has waxed and waned over the years, I’ve been lucky to remain friends with wonderful people who I originally connected with as fellow fans.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)? What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

My initial entrée to the fandom was through fanfiction. I didn’t get interested in the show until mid-season 5. Around the same time, I read an article in a zine called Might (co-founded by Dave Eggers) about this thing called fanfiction that people would write and publish online. At first I thought it was satire or a joke – the fic cited involved Wilma Flintstone and a polished sabre tooth, as I recall – but then realized this was an actual thing. So I figured that a show then at the peak of pop culture must have fanfiction, and I went looking. Early on, I scrolled atxc on a daily basis and downloaded stories. But I didn’t engage in discussions about the show on Usenet, since I only knew how to access it with my Earthlink email client, and I didn’t want to post using my real name.

Later, I set up a pseud address with Yahoo and subscribed to a couple of email fanfic/discussion lists, and stayed subscribed to those for years. There was also a period in there somewhere – of maybe only a year or so, when I think about it – when I’d often nerd out into the wee hours with other fans via IM chat groups. That was around the time the small writers’ collective Musea was founded, and we were active for several years after the show’s initial run. In the early aughts, I followed many authors to LiveJournal and eventually set up my own account and stayed involved in fandom that way, until it mostly dispersed as well. What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show? In a word: Chemistry. I had casually watched a couple of episodes during the first four seasons, but I’m not a huge sci-fi/horror fan at heart, and the story lines didn’t immediately grab me. But I happened to tune into The Red and the Black in 1998, and BOOM. For the first time, the intense layers of emotion and attraction between Mulder and Scully really struck me – and then of course, upon further viewing, I realized it was unmissable, an essential element in the fabric of the show. As a wise woman once said, a switch had been flicked. Mulder and Scully’s magnetism was like nothing I’d ever seen, and though I eventually came to appreciate the storytelling, humor, production values, and other components that made the series so successful, watching those characters interact has always been what kept me coming back. Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files? I was part of a list-serv discussion group for The West Wing for a while, which was a fun melding of character and plot analysis with political discussion. Later, I got into the House, MD fandom, again mostly as a fanfic reader/writer. I was finding that other fandoms, unlike TXF, were more dispersed, the networks of people structured more loosely, if at all. There were fanfic and discussion communities on LiveJournal, and fanfiction.net was the other main hub for posting and reading, but if there was anything centralized like Gossamer, Ephemeral, or the Haven, I never found it. Within all those fan communities, as in TXF, there were partisans for various characters and pairings, and flame wars erupted over plot developments that outraged this faction or that. One main difference was that those other shows had larger, ensemble casts and more varied subplots. So on one hand, there was more opportunity to explore back stories and multiple perspectives. In House MD in particular, there were several entrenched rival shipper camps, which were about equally grounded in canon, rather than TXF’s central ship. I was less into TWW fic, but my impression was that readers were less militant about their pairing preferences than TXF or House fans. Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

I was deeply fascinated by Greg House for several years. (And the love-hate chemistry between him and Lisa Cuddy was a strong draw for me.) House MD came early in a wave of TV shows centered on anti-heroes, and Hugh Laurie brought amazing complexity and thoughtfulness to the character.

Philip and Elizabeth Jennings (The Americans) are a lethal pair of antiheroes. The inherent moral conflict of a sympathetic narrative from their POVs, and the global political conflict they embody was TV catnip for me. The internal struggles at the hearts of those characters were so exquisitely written and performed, they completely fascinate me.

The West Wing felt so much like a show created specifically for me. I’m especially fond of story arcs and scenes that centered on CJ Cregg, Charlie Young, and Josh Lyman. Though I loved Martin Sheen’s human portrayal of Jed Bartlet, the fact that he was the President always made him a little untouchable in my mind. But CJ, Charlie, and Josh were basically hard-working functionaries who were ambitious and idealistic and funny and flawed, and they spoke to me. What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom? Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully? Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

I do continue to think about Mulder and Scully and watch episodes somewhat often. I’ll sometimes run a favorite episode as background when I want something comforting on. I read TXF fic pretty regularly, which can inspire me to go back and watch a particular episode or story arc I haven’t thought about in years. Just recently, I started listening to The X-Files Diaries podcast (@XFDPodcast, @admiralty-xfd), and that’s a fun dive into the characters, and how other fans react to and interpret episodes.

Every once in a while, a TV show or movie – and more particularly, the characters – will grab my attention and make me curious about how fanfic writers have interpreted the original material. Random example, I saw Singin’ in the Rain for the first time in a theatre a couple of years ago, and the chemistry of the three leads sent me to AO3 as soon as I got home. I also loved the first season of Mercy Street and found some well-done stories in that fandom. I usually peruse the Yuletide gifts every year and have been amazed by the sheer variety, creativity and cheekiness of the output. There are a bunch of other shows I’ve followed faithfully, and sought out fanfic – Broadchurch, The Killing, Agents of SHIELD, Elementary, The Good Wife. Although I’ve found some well-written stuff in those fandoms, I’ve rarely gotten the same charge from them as reading TXF fic. Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

syntax6 (@syntax6) – Universal Invariants/Laws of Motion. I’d also shout out to syn’s Hunter fics, too – well worth reading even for those who have never seen or particularly loved the show itself.

JET – I re-read Small Lives Awake every year around Thanksgiving time. Other annual holiday re-reads: Revely’s The Dreaming Sea and Jordan’s Through the Fire (both set at Halloween).

Amal Nahurriyeh’s Casey universe – the rare post-col fic that felt hopeful, made extra intriguing by a kick-ass original character. [Lilydale note: the series starts with Machines of Freedom and has lots of additional fics and snippets.]

Prufrock’s Love – Finding Rokovoko was genuinely terrifying and tender.

melforbes (@melforbes) – Seaglass Blue is a recent favorite, lyrical and bittersweet.

These are just a few (apologies to those that didn’t come to mind immediately). Fortunately for readers, there’s an astonishing number of authors who have written in TXF fandom whom you can depend on for a good yarn, insightful character study, and/or ingenious “fixes” where 1013 went awry.

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

Probably the two set in my own (former) backyard of Southern California: Enivrez-vous and Ravenous. I’d first read the Baudelaire poem that was the source of the former’s title back in university days, so I was tickled to be able to use a few lines as an epigraph. Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online? It’s not out of the realm possibility. I’d meant for “Three Times Dana Scully Didn’t Go to San Diego for Christmas” to be followed up with “And One Time She Did.” In fact, the idea for that never-finished story was what inspired “Three Times” in the first place. I have a couple of scenes sketched out and – unusually for me �� even know exactly how to end it. Every year, November rolls around, and I think I should finish and post it…maybe in 2021?

Where do you get ideas for stories? Sometimes it’s from my environment. “Enivrez-vous” and “Ravenous” describe places that I’m fond of, that made me want to place Mulder and Scully there. “What Not to Wear” has that element too – I set it in Memphis as a tribute to a great trip there with a sister Musean. But WNTW was also inspired by a kink challenge in a years-ago LiveJournal thread, so sometimes ideas come from fandom discussions or even other fanfics. In the House MD fandom, a fic by another writer made me want to continue the story, and the author kindly allowed an authorized sequel. What's the story behind your pen name? I wanted my pseudonym to sound like it could be a real person’s name – or at least, maybe like a romance writer’s pen name – rather than an online handle. I also wanted to use a slightly obscure fictional character, to amuse anyone in the know. I had long had a bit of an obsession with Whit Stillman’s 1990s film trilogy, which started with Metropolitan; the 3rd installment, Last Days of Disco, came out the same year I started down the TXF rabbit hole: 1998. The central heroine of Metropolitan – who is mentioned in or makes a cameo in the other two – is Audrey Rouget, a lover of Austen and, eventually, a book editor. I altered the spelling of the last name as a nod to every writer’s companion, Roget’s Thesaurus. Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions? I have a few close friends – from outside TXF fandom – who know that I’ve written fanfic. I don’t know if they know my pseud; if they do, or if they’ve ready any of the fic, they haven’t said so to me. They are fannish sorts themselves, but not really TXF fans. A smattering of other friends and family members know or could intuit that I’ve been a fangrl on some level for years. My boss, whom I’ve known for about 3 years, recently mentioned off-handedly that she was really obsessed with TXF “back in the day,” and I am DYING to know if she got involved in fandom, but don’t think I’ll ever work up the courage to ask.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now? Most of the X-Files stuff continues to be generously and steadfastly archived by Forte at The Basement Office. The House MD stories and some TXF things are at fanfiction.net; same for AO3. If ever post anything new, it will probably go to TBO and AO3. I really ought to get it all together in one place, one of these days…

(Posted by Lilydale on April 6, 2021)

[alipeeps]

New tag game: Post pictures of your first ever (fictional/celeb) crush to the latest one and tag five others to continue the game

Thanks to @minmoyu for tagging me and ooof, are you sure you’re ready for this?!! :D I have been around/in fandom for a loooooong time and at first I thought, okay, no way I can list all my crushes, there have been SO many and we’ll be here all day but then as I started compiling a list I found I was having fun reminiscing and decided, what the heck, yeah, let’s do em all... or at least all I can remember! :D

There have absolutely for sure been other more minor crushes and passing fancies along the way, but these are the big ones that I remember (and that, in more recent years, I can track by going through my posted fanfics on AO3 and even *shudder* FFNET and seeing which shows I was into enough to want to write fic about the characters).

[Quick note: with rare exceptions, for actors I am listing them by the character they played rather than just the actor. Whilst there are actors that I like in multiple roles (and conversely, characters who on paper I would normally be into but are played by actors who do nothing for me, and hence the character generally does nothing for me either), for the most part it is the character I really have the crush on.]

I’m going to put this under a readmore cos it has gotten ridiculously long:

So... without further ado:

1. MORTEN HARKET from a-ha - OKay so, dating myself badly here but... I had the *biggest* crush on Morten Harket when I was a teenager. Pretty much the entirety of my side of the bedroom I shared with my sister was covered in posters of a-ha, and Morten in particular. I even had a heart-shaped Morten Harket pillow! :D I loved a-ha’s music (still do!) and I wanted to go see them in concert when I was 14 but my parents wouldn’t let me (*sob*). I did finally get to see them in concert in the early 2000s and they were BRILLIANT live (and Morten was still very very pretty)! 

2. RICHARD DEAN ANDERSON as MACGYVER - MacGyver is the first tv character I remember being really into and having a crush on, to the extent that I would record episodes of the show off the tv (onto VHS tape - yes, I am *that* old!) so that I could rewatch them (especially the ones where he got hurt - yeah, I was a whumper even then! :D)

3. KEIFER SUTHERLAND - One of my rare exceptions. I think I first saw him in Lost Boys (and loved him in that film) but it was his role as Doc Scurlock in Young Guns that really made me fall for both the character and him. I definitely remember seeking out any and all films he was in and buying any magazine he was interviewed in (and knowing far more facts about him than was probably healthy! :D) and even drawing a fanart portrait of him. :)

4. KYLE MACLACHLAN as SPECIAL AGENT DALE COOPER - I remember hearing about Twin Peaks before it started airing in the UK and it sounded so different and interesting... I watched it from the very first episode and very quickly developed a crush on Coop.  

5. BRENT SPINER as DATA - I think ST: TNG had been airing for a while before I stumbled across it but I quickly became hooked and Data was my favourite character right from the start. I definitely remember at one point buying an (unofficial) episode guide book so that I could look up which episodes were good Data-focused ones (especially ones where he got hurt! :D) so I could go out and buy the videos that had those episodes on (at the time the show was available to buy on VHS-tape with 2 episodes on each tape).

6. DAVID DUCHOVNY as FOX MULDER - Another show that I heard the buzz about and started watching right from the start and, like so many others, I immediately developed a crush on the snarky, enigmatic, troubled FBI agent with the weird name. The X-Files was the first show I ever tried writing (one, never-finished) fanfic for.

7. PAUL GROSS as BENTON FRASER - Man, Due South was such a good show! It was so quirky and clever and funny and Benton Fraser, with his huge heart and his serious demeanour and his gorgeous blue eyes, was just so darn attractive! He also got whumped a fair bit too! :D Due South was also the show that introduced me to the music of Sarah McLachlan (I was enough of a fan that I bought the show soundtrack on CD).

8. HUGH LAURIE as DR GREGORY HOUSE - This was a bit of an odd one for me because I had grown up knowing Hugh Laurie solely as a comedian/comic actor, known mostly for playing buffoons and genial idiots. And suddenly here he was with stubble, an American accent, and a limp, and he was hawt AF! :D It caused quite the feedback loop in my brain for a while which pretty much went “Wow, House is hot.... but it’s Hugh Laurie... but he’s hot... but it’s HUGH LAURIE!!1!”

I *loved* House (the first few seasons, at least) and oof a character with persistent pain (and a self-destructive streak a mile wide!) was a whumper’s dream. House was the first show for which I wrote - and published online - completed fanfics.

8. JOE FLANIGAN as JOHN SHEPPARD - Stargate Atlantis was my first proper online fandom, the first show I prolifically and repeatedly wrote fanfic for, and the first time I ever met in person an actor I was a big fan of (and while the show was still airing, to boot!). It was also my first introduction to the online community of whumpers! A bunch of us from the Shep Whump thread on Gateworld heard that Joe was going to be at a convention in London and we decided to book hotel rooms and meet up and go to the convention together and it was AWESOME! I can still remember seeing Joe *in person* for the first time and just,,,, struggling to believe he was actually here, in person, in front of me! He was super super lovely and humble too and took time to chat to everyone at the signing table and I clearly remember my brain just pretty much fritzing out during the photo session and being intensely aware of the sensation of Joe’s hand on my shoulder....

It was also super lovely to meet fellow fans, and online friends, in person for the first time and we had so much fun, and it kickstarted me going to lots of other conventions, including specific Stargate/SGA ones where I got to know lots of other lovely fans and online friends. I’ve met Joe about 4 or 5 times in total now and he’s been lovely every time.

9. PAUL BLACKTHORNE as HARRY DRESDEN - Gosh I loved the shortlived tv adaptation of The Dresden Files. I loved the fantasy aspect, the stories, the humour, and I especially loved Harry Dresden and how often he got whumped! :D 

10. DAVID TENNANT as THE 10TH DOCTOR - I had watched the Christopher Ecclestone revival of Doctor Who and enjoyed it well enough but I can clearly remember watching David Tennant’s first episode as The Doctor - on Christmas Day, at my brother-in-law’s house - and being aware, as I watched it that... ooookay, yes, I’m in trouble here... I like him... I like him a lot... :D I mean, I’m sure the fact that he got whumped so thoroughly in his very first episode had nothing to do with how quickly I fell for him... right? :)

11. ALEX O’LAUGHLIN as MICK ST JOHN - Another show that ended far too soon and just as it was getting *seriously* good. But also a prime example of my point about having a crush on the character not the actor. I looooooved Alex as Mick St John... and yet in Hawaii 5.0 he pretty much does nothing for me (the character is too stoic and the whump often too unrealistically glossed over). Anyway, in Moonlight he was my favourite kind of character - angsty, brooding, dangerous AF when he needed to be... and essentially immortal so you could whump the heck out of him and he’d recover so you could whump him again! :D

12. SIMON BAKER as PATRICK JANE - There is so much to love about Patrick Jane... his smarts, his sass, his angst... and Simon is a rare “against type” blonde crush for me (you may have noticed by now that most of my crushes follow a similar physical aesthetic - tall, slim/wiry, and dark-haired) and again here I think my crush is almost all to do with the character rather than the actor.

12. BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH as SHERLOCK HOLMES - I’m almost ashamed to admit it, given the clusterfuck that both the show and its fandom became, but in the earlier seasons I had quite the crush on Benedict’s Sherlock (and okay, a little bit on Benedict himself - I did definitely enjoy some of his other roles too). It helps that I was already a huge fan of the Sherlock Holmes character (I’ve read all the stories and novels multiple times and was a big fan of the Granada adaptation starring Jeremy Brett - whose Holmes would definitely count as one of my more minor/passing crushes) already. Benedict is another crush that I have met in person, at a (actually, the first!) Sherlock convention and he was lovely in person - very genuine, very articulate and thoughtful.

13. TOM MISON as ICHABOD CRANE - I was excited for Sleepy Hollow as soon as I heard about it and I was SUCH a fan for the first couple of seasons (before TPTB completely destroyed it and it inevitably got cancelled (I didn’t even watch the last season and a half)) and Tom’s Ichabod (and his amazing chemistry with Nicole’s Abbie) was a large part of why. I also quickly became a big fan of Tom himself as he came across as so witty and self-deprecating and *fun* in all the behind the scenes/convention clips etc. I was lucky enough to also meet Tom at a convention and he genuinely is that witty and charming and lovely.

14. TOM WISDOM as ARCHANGEL MICHAEL - I think Dominion was possibly the first show that I got sucked into by seeing whumpy gifsets on tumblr! :D It was such a great show and also to date the most immersive, welcoming, cast-and-crew-interactive fandom I have ever been in. The cast and crew regularly live-tweeted the episodes, and interacted with fans on Twitter, and it was SO much fun. And Tom’s Michael was my favourite character right from the start - seemingly aloof but so much going on under the surface... and some really nice whump, especially in season 2! I was heartbroken when it was cancelled after only 2 seasons (and just as the plot was getting *really* interesting).

15. OLIVER JACKSON-COHEN as LUCAS - I was hooked on Emerald City right from the first episode. It was visually stunning, so atmospheric, and really intruiging. I love love loved Adria Arjona’s Dorothy (ngl, I had a bit of a crush on her too) and she and Lucas together were just... *chef’s kiss*. I mean... what an introduction to a character... she finds him crucified, bleeding, his wrists tied with barbed wire, and amnesiac.... and the whump only gets better and better from there on in! Like the entire first two episodes are just... Lucas whump! :D And his devotion to her... Emerald City was honestly the first show where I really got into a ship. I was *invested* in Dorcas, dammit! Aaaand sadly another excellent show that never made it past its first season.

16. JASON RALPH as QUENTIN COLDWATER - Another show that I watched right from the start, was heavily invested in.... and that the writers absolutely tanked and destroyed in later seasons. *cries* Quentin was such a brilliant viewpoint character for the show and I loved his awkwardness, and his angst, and his enthusiasm, and his adorable floppy hair... and how often he got whumped! 

17. COLIN MORGAN - I fell for Colin in Merlin (which I stumbled upon late, long after it had finished airing, and hence was able to binge-watch the entire 5 seasons!) and liked him enough to seek out his other works, such as The Fall, and Humans, and The Living and the Dead, and he was brilliant (and very pretty) in all of them... and his characters also seem to get whumped quite a lot! :D 

18. MATT LANTER as WYATT LOGAN - Wyatt was another of my favourite archetypes... absolutely badass and competent... but also tortured and angsty and capable of intense devotion. Another show that I watched because of whumpy gifs on tumblr and the second ever show where I actually got invested in a ship - Lyatt all the way, baby!! :D - aaaaaand yet another show cancelled before its time.

19. NOCTIS LUCIS CAELUM from FINAL FANTASY XV - my very first video game crush! I was recommended to play FFXV by fellow whumpers on the whumpshire discord because it was whumpy... and they were not wrong and I loved the game and I absolutely adored Noctis. FFXV is one of very very VERY few video games that I have actually played right through to the end. And possibly the only video game that has ever affected me to such an extent... I became so invested in the characters and their world and I actually found the last couple of chapters really hard to play because it was actually upsetting me emotionally. I had to take a break for a couple of weeks before I could go back and finish it!

20. CONNOR from DETROIT BECOME HUMAN - and from there I jumped straight into another video game crush! DBH was another game recommended to me for its whump potential and I, and many others, immediately fell in love with the quirky, sassy, self-sacrificing (if you play the game right!) “android sent by Cyberlife”. The game itself is really good too... although, I have tried to play through all the different endings to the story but have never yet managed to make myself play the machine Connor storyline.... I want to complete all the story branches... but I also just want Hank and Connor to be friends and to be happy! :D

21. ZHU YILONG - Ahhh... the beginning of the asian drama arc of my fandom life! I first came across Zhu Yilong after getting sucked into watching Guardian because of pretty (and whumpy) gifs on tumblr... and I’ve never looked back. He is one of the rare entries where I am pretty much guaranteed to like him in pretty much anything he does and my crush extends beyond Shen Wei, or his other characters, and into reblogging his fashion shoot photos, and keeping up with news of his work in general. He’s just... so darn pretty! And also so... blur! :D And the behind the scenes stuff and interviews of him with Bai Yu, during the Guardian era, just made me fall for him all the more. He’s also ridiculously talented - not only a fantastic actor, but a really good singer (I love his singing voice), he plays guitar and piano, and he can paint too!!

He’s also pretty much what made me start learning Chinese... because after Guardian I went seeking his other dramas to watch... only to find that many of them are only partially, or not at all, subbed. So I thought... why not try learning Chinese and then I’ll be able to watch his other shows? :D

21. JI CHANG WOOK - My first kdrama crush, and what a good one to start with! Healer was the first drama I ever watched and can you blame me for falling for JCW... especially when I followed up Healer with The K2?! I’ve liked him in pretty much everything I’ve watched him in. Although I do wish he would go back to doing more action-based shows as he is sooo good at them... but he seems to prefer the romcom genre these days, which is something I am nottt always a fan of tbh.

22. JAKE HSU as MENG SHAO FEI - Yet another show that I got sucked into by tumblr - and also one with a great, fun fandom through which I met lots of lovely people who I still follow/am mutuals with to this day. I just *adored* Jake’s character in History and I also loved the ship - Tang Fan and Meng Shaofei were awesome and adorable together and I was totally invested in both the ship and the gangster/cop/what happened years ago story happening alongside the ship. And Jake is just all kinds of cute.

23. XIAO ZHAN - Aaaand we are pretty much up to current day now... where The Untamed took over my life in the summer of 2019 and has yet to let me go. Xiao Zhan is another disgustingly talented human being - a fantastic singer and a really good actor, and also an artist - and he also just comes across as a genuinely sweet and charming person, and a very thoughful and earnest one too. And lbr he is ridiculously pretty, and his smile is just pure sunshine. 

24. LEE DONG WOOK as LEE YEON - The most recent entry to the charts.... a Korean actor I was aware of but whose work I hadn’t watched and whose looks didn’t particularly seem to grab me... until I watched Tale of the Nine Tailed and fell head over heels for Lee Yeon (and daaayum does red hair suit LDW!!) and very quickly began to find LDW’s looks very appealing (and oh my, does Lee Yeon whump well!!). And yes, I have now started watching Goblin. :D

Phew! Aaaand we are done! I’ll admit, I did think of a few more as I was compiling this list but I decided to categorise them as more “minor” crushes and not include them... otherwise we really could be here all day!!

I’m going to tag: @sarah-yyy​, @arlothia​, @howdydowdy​, @thepromiseweheldforlife​ and @the-wandering-whumper​!

[koganphrancis]

Ian Used To Do Better Stuff With Vans OR There’s Another Hour Of My Life I Won’t Get Back

This episode was dumb dumb dumb as fuck-and even more pointless than that.  The ONLY redeeming quality in it was that it was completely Terror-free.  Read on, if you dare.  My recap of Season H8 Episode Dear God Why Isn’t It Over Yet-or 11, if you want to keep it short.

As usual, I’ll get the others out of the way as quickly as I possibly can. 

Carl’s still illegally under-aged married, and this week he tells Kasammi, “I don’t think there’s any skin left on my dick.”  Yeah, they made that point last year when they had to keep taking it off after his misguided circumcision.  Not that the show is referring to THAT, of course.  They refuse to acknowledge any plot point that has gone before.  He and Kas take a wild tour through his before the show started past and I have no idea what the point is-is it to show us she’s truly insane because none of the horrors of life on the mean streets scare her?  Or to show us that Generation Z doesn’t experience reality because their whole lives have been instantly posted on screens of electronic devices?  I don’t know and I don’t care-quit trying to be fake deep, Shameless, if you even are.  I can’t tell.  The only (maybe) pertinent point of Carl’s story this week is he tells Kasammi after her hundredth shit fit on the subject that he won’t go back to military school and in the previews for next week it looks like the family (or at least Frank) will try to help him sneak away to do just that.  Yawn.

Debbie loses three toes-Frank chops them off for her.  Before that, Debbie is shown signing her 16 year old self out of the hospital-WHAT?  She’d need a parent or guardian for that.  Anyway, apparently Debbie’s not on any kind of welfare or insurance.  And doesn’t know that Ian could’ve gotten the money for her expensive surgery to attempt to save the toes by going down on the old couple just twice.  What is it with this show and cutting off toes?  They’ve done this before with the body they got to stand in for Aunt Ginger.  I’m so sick of the recycled plot points!

Speaking of which-Snore’s old man is out of prison so Lip gets him to fight him to violate his parole and send him back-did this new writer guy not see Yevgeny’s christening episode or is he just really into plagiarism?  It was such a fizzle to a going nowhere story to begin with.  I think the guy playing Snore’s version of Terry even had some of the same lines but I’m too lazy to rewatch and try to catch them.  If we were supposed to hate this guy like we hate Terry, it didn’t work.  And Lip was no Mickey showing up to defend people that mean something to him either-it was all a weak as fuck imitation.  And it was odd that Lip chose to call the guy out for “beating women” when he lets himself get beaten when he has sex with Eddy.  Who the fuck is he to judge?  Maybe ten year old Snore didn’t get that her parents were having consensual rough sex that got too violent and ended in death-but the show’s not that deep.

Snore’s telling of her mother’s death once again played like someone complaining about not getting the last bottle of nail polish in their favorite shade at Walgreens or something.  If she’s been so traumatized that she can’t put any emotion into the horrific memories that’s fine, but then I would argue that she wouldn’t be terrified of her dad coming after her either.  Snore just can’t emote OR imagine what it would be like to be in that setting, I’m sorry.  

And here’s what had me super pissed-Snore tells Lip she was 10 when her mom was killed in front of witnesses (Snore and her brother-she specifically says they both testified against him) and her dad’s already out on parole?  We don’t know how old Snore is now, but surely no older than 25 (and probably not even that old, but whatever), so the show is saying her dad got out in 15 years max, which is the time Mickey was sentenced to for NOT killing Sammi?  Fuck off.  

Also, why would the cops not even consider the father’s side of the story that Lip instigated the fight?  Lip has Eddy’s niece record the fight on his phone, and after it’s over he goes over to her and asks her how it looks or whatever, and she says Snore’s father threw the first punch.  Wouldn’t the cops question why a little girl was filming two men on a porch BEFORE a fight started?  Snore’s father must have Mickey’s public defender for a lawyer.  Fucking show should’ve shocked us all by having Lip get locked up for premeditated assault.  

Fiona meets with a lawyer (Janice from Friends, but she’s not as funny in this, sadly) and as soon as she said Fiona could lose both the apartment building and the Gallagher house I knew that storyline had jumped the shark and somehow next week all will be miraculously fixed-no way will the Gallaghers ever lose the house, that’s another plot point that’s been done to death.  At first I was thinking they’ll either come up with some fortuitous traffic camera footage showing that the guy jumped off the roof intentionally, or that Hugh Laurie would show up in a cameo as Dr. House and say that if a man “fell” off a roof that high, he’d have a hell of a lot more damage than one broken ankle, but no, the show isn’t going to even get that clever-they’re just gonna have the family cave and be willing to settle with Fiona if they get custody of her dog that suddenly she’s so worried about in this week’s episode.  She’s never shown that level of concern for any of her siblings.  

Frank has a tedious, boring couple of scenes about his “retirement plan”-he has a baggie of 3 stolen Social Security cards and anyone can see a mile off that the cards would’ve just been replaced by their original owners-they’re not like a set of fingerprints and you only get one for life and if you lose it someone else has your entire identity.  THEN they set up next week’s recycled/stolen plot to have Liam and Frank rip off Liam’s rich friend’s family just like Carl and Frank ripped off Liam and Carl’s gay foster dads-it didn’t work then, it won’t work now (and why didn’t Frank do hard time for that grand theft?).  

Svetlana and Vee and Kevin have a scene at a fancy (but not as fancy as the show was trying to tell us it was) bar that was a pathetic echo of both Ian and Mickey’s hotel bar scam AND of how funny the show used to be able to be.  Later Svet goes to humble herself to the other hand whore to find out how she snagged a rich fiance and discovers that the dude she’s about to marry is senile as fuck and Svet is going to step in to replace her, which is what I predicted the first time the hand whore showed up.  I will give Shameless credit for making me laugh unintentionally-since I’ve been picturing the “old rich dude” Svet was going to wind up with as John Wells’ fantasy version of himself, seeing the old dude in an adult diaper and thinking he’s Wells was very satisfying.  

Do I finally get to Ian now?  Do I have to talk about his bullshit?  There’s a scene of him in bed alone while the newlyweds are having sex in the same room, signalling that he’d rather be there than at Terror’s house, LOL.  Then it’s the next morning and he goes down to breakfast with his Bible in hand, but no pills.  Is that supposed to be significant?  We may never know...

He gets to the “Church Of Gay Jesus” and there’s so many “fans” there it’s like Beatles or One Direction footage.  The minister guy gets through the crowd to him with a big young guy and tells Ian the rando is “Bic” and he wants to help (I didn’t know the guy’s name till I saw it in the closing credits, I really thought his name was “Dick” and they were making a “big dick” joke, but no, I guess they were making a “Bic lighter” joke instead).  Ian and Bic instantly have more chemistry than Ian and Terror but it’s unintentional I’m sure-the actor playing Bic probably has taken acting classes and knows to look an acting partner in the eye, instantly making him more engaged than Terror’s ever been in a scene.  

The minister guy tells Ian, “Your life is no longer your own.”  Which first of all, I’m just not buying that all these youths have just been waiting for a messiah to show up and they’ll follow him anywhere, and secondly why was being with Mickey not Ian anymore, but he’ll give away his entire life for strangers?  Fuck you, Shameless.  (and speaking of his entire life, does he never have to go to work anymore?  Also, Fiona turned him down when he asked for a ride to the church-for once she had a good reason, that she had to pick up Debbie-but why is the show acting like Fi does things for him all of the sudden?  She DID give him a ride last week, and that was very OOC of her.)

There’s a kid trying to get Ian’s attention-he needs help getting away from his parents who have hired men to get him back.  At some point in the proceedings some guys jump out of a van and drag the kid into it.  Ian runs to the front of the van before it can pull away and goes all Chris Pratt in Jurassic Park, holding up his arms and not letting it advance.  The unintentional humor here amused me no end.  Then Ian lays down in front of the van and I actually said aloud to my TV, “Just run him over.”  I’m that done with this storyline and this show-just kill Ian off at this point, it’d be a mercy.  

Ian’s there on the ground with his arms thrown up over his head (not that the driver could even see him down there, right in front of the van) and we see that this time Shameless didn’t bother covering up Cam’s real life Sailor Moon tattoo.  SO LAZY.  All the other kids lay down around the van too so it can’t go anywhere  The 3 dudes in the van give up and let the kid get out.

The kid is 14 and the minister guy tries to talk sense into Ian, saying the parents have a legal right to their kid and they, more specifically Ian, can’t keep the kid.  Ian agrees to talk to the kid’s dad who tells him the parents aren’t bigots, they don’t care that their son’s not heterosexual, but he’s been living on the streets, doing drugs, and prostituting himself.  Then the father says, “We believe he may be mentally ill,” and Cameron (and yes, I mean Cameron, not Ian) makes a reaction face to that, but what it means, again, nobody knows.

Ian goes to talk to the kid where they have him hidden away in the Mickey Wedding Venue basement.  Ian tells him what the father told him, and the kid says they keep bringing him to a church (is that Ian’s trigger?  Churches? and if so, why?), plus they have him see shrinks who have put him on meds that knock him on his ass and he can’t get an erection.  He adds, “That’s what they really want-so I can’t have sex with another boy, you know?  Ever.”  Ian says, “Well you can’t stay here.  You have to find someplace where you can be safe, where you can be yourself.”  WHAT?  I don’t understand.  For one thing, isn’t that LITERALLY TERROR’S JOB?  To take runaways and provide them with a safe place to stay and a plan to get their lives back on terms that they can live with?  I don’t ever want to have to side with Terror, but this episode is basically saying that Terror’s way is right and Ian’s way is oh so wrong and misguided.  What the fuck?  Secondly, isn’t that what Ian THINKS he’s doing?  Why is he telling the kid HE has to find someplace safe?  Ian has literally been in this kid’s shoes-he knows there’s no safe places for someone even younger than he was when he got back from the army, living on the streets.  Anyway, after Ian’s lines the kid says, “Will you help me?” but Ian doesn’t answer one way or the other.  

I totally didn’t get this scene-why the writer had Ian say nothing.  I could see if it was to show Ian was getting more and more manic and now is on the downside of that and is becoming too depressed to speak to people-but then where’s his energy for doing anything coming from, plus the story isn’t SAYING he’s manic or depressed, and Cam and John Wells said Ian’s storyline is bold, audacious, great, etc and I don’t think either of them would’ve said those things if the payoff is just going to be that Ian needed his meds adjusted.  And why does Ian maybe believe what the kid is saying and not the dad?  Again, this IS Ian’s story!  Mentally ill, unable to help himself, and unwilling to take his pills!  I wondered why Ian didn’t at least give him a version of the Monica “you don’t have to change for them” speech, or his own “you don’t have to fix me because I’m not broken” speech or why in the name of all that’s holy didn’t he tell the kid, “I’ve been exactly where you are-on meds that were supposed to help but made me feel like crap plus I couldn’t get it up-but that’s because they take time-you need to take them to get stable and then you’ll find what works for you and have no problems having sex again (since apparently Ian’s never had an issue since beating Mickey up at the dugouts).”  AND the kid’s only 14-does Ian maybe want to advise him that feeling like he needs to be having sex that young to the point where he’s willing to run away and do it with anyone might be part of his symptoms?  

Ian COULD be so helpful here, but no.  At this point he is literally putting at risk kids at even greater risk.  

Later Rando Bic shows Ian that the van’s back behind the church.  Ian says, “Get the kid,” like he’s The Penguin and Bic’s his trusty lieutenant.  It was so dumb.  The kid is used as bait, and when the 3 guys jump out of the van Ian pops up behind the group and starts yelling.  “My god’s a faggot!  My god’s a dyke!  My god is trans, a junkie, a whore!’  Then the van blows up.  “We will not be victims!”  

What the hell is he on about?  That’s a serious question.  None of this is making sense.  God isn’t human, so Ian giving the Christian god human attributes makes no sense.  “We won’t be victims” of WHAT?  Gay conversion?  This kid’s dad said he isn’t trying to convert his gay son.  What is all the yelling and the explosion about?  And to get back to the explosion for a moment: That had to be Ian’s brilliant plan, and it just makes me miss Mickey talking him down from stupid shit like that all the more.  Bic is the one that actually lights the fire (get it?  BIC?) but how did they even know that all 3 guys would get out of the van this time?  Based on the first failed attempt to drive off with the kid, wouldn’t it make more sense that one of the guys would stay at the wheel and keep the van running and they’d take off the minute they shoved the kid inside before all of Ian’s disciples could block it again?   Before I rewatched the scene this morning I actually wondered if the story is going to be Ian is guilty of killing one of the guys, but then I saw it again and all 3 did get out-but I still don’t think Bic could’ve seen them from where he snuck around to light it up.  And I bet we don’t see Bic again-he was randomly thrown in because of course Terror wouldn’t have helped Ian carry out any plan that wasn’t his own.  But it’s funny that they couldn’t have him in the episode because everyone, even the shitty writers, know there’s no way Terror could talk Ian out of it like Mickey would be able to.   

In the scenes for next week, Terror shows up and asks, “Is Ian around?” and Debbie answers, “He’s not here.”  Terror says, “There’s a warrant out for his arrest.”  Wouldn’t the cops have gone to Ian’s house FIRST?  Where would they have even found Terror to be asking about Ian since Ian doesn’t officially work for the Youth Center or the Church of Gay Jesus.  More lazy writing, can’t wait for the whimpering end to this crapfest of a season.  

[aion-rsa]

Loki Episode 2 Holds Out for a Hero and a Villain

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This review contains spoilers for the second episode of Loki

Loki Episode 2

“Up where the mountains meet the heavens above. Out where the lightning splits the sea. I could swear that there’s someone somewhere watching me.”

When Marvel’s Kevin Feige discussed Loki’s evolution recently, he noted that “putting Loki into his own procedural series became the Eureka moment for the show.” This became a talking point between fans because Loki was simultaneously hyped as another “six-hour movie” and the two concepts seemed to clash a little. Would Loki’s overarching story blend well with elements of a crime procedural?

The first episode of Marvel’s latest small screen project gave us a little good-cop/bad-cop stuff, with some interrogation room tactics weaved in as Owen Wilson’s Mobius M. Mobius went down the “get inside the mind of a killer” route, and the second episode of Loki continues to embrace the procedural vibe.

A fairly traditional teaser sets up episode 2 as C-20 (Sasha Lane from American Honey) and her squad of TVA Hunters arrive in Oshkosh, Wisconsin in the mid-80s to investigate a reported Variant on the loose at a renaissance fair. The team is ambushed by the Minutemen-murdering Loki Variant mentioned by Mobius at the end of the last episode, and Bonnie Tyler’s “Holding Out for a Hero” accompanies the rest of the scene in what may or may not be the most extremely online deep cut I’ve ever seen.

TERRIBLE MISS MINUTES IMPRESSION: Hi there! You may be asking yourself what a “teaser” or “cold open” is! Let me get you up to speed. A teaser is a narrative technique used at the start of a TV episode to intrigue the audience just enough to stay tuned. In crime procedurals it’s usually the first building block of that episode’s mystery. A good cold open makes us feel compelled to stick around and find out “whodunnit,” why, or how!

Back at the TVA, Loki is learning – or half-learning – about what happens when a Nexus Event passes the red line and they can’t reset it: the destruction of the Sacred Timeline. During the lesson Miss Minutes acts as a Gal Friday who Loki has little appreciation for despite her enthusiasm, and she ends up calling him a jerk. Which he absolutely is. Nevertheless, the scene is delightful. If there has to be a Who Framed Roger Rabbit? remake in our future, put Tom Hiddleston in there as Eddie Valiant and you could craft a sturdy bridge out of my suspension of disbelief.

Some specific temporal energy has informed the TVA that the Loki Variant was indeed responsible for the ambush on C-20’s team. The Hunters are used to dealing with Loki Variants – apparently they prune Lokis “almost more than any other Variant.” Slippery little bugger though he may be, this stands out as fairly important information. Are these Variants like raptors unwittingly testing the fences? Also, can we take a guess at who might be leading the pack when it comes to Variant numbers if Loki is in second place? Keep checking the background at the TVA! We’ve already seen a Skrull and Peggy Carter.

Our Loki is being teased with the possibility that he could snag an audience with the Time-Keepers if he’s useful enough, leaning into the tried and true cop show “you could get immunity or a reduced sentence if you cooperate” trope. Loki buys it, but it seems incredibly unlikely that this is anything other than manipulative bullshit on Mobius’ part. 

We also get to spend a little time alone with Mobius and Judge Ravonna Renslayer (Gugu Mbatha-Raw) in this episode. The pair have clearly known each other for a long time but Renslayer now has the unenviable task of riding the line between boss and pal. She’s steady and calm, but you can still envision her as Loki’s own police chief: laying down the law with Mobius, calling him a “loose cannon” for allowing Loki into the fold, and asking him to turn in his badge and gun – or whatever the TVA equivalent is. 

His interactions with Renslayer are perhaps supposed to be charming but they’re actually kinda unsettling, though I can’t quite put my finger on why just yet. 

Mobius emerges from the meeting even more determined to see Loki pick up the pace. He tries to out-manipulate the manipulator with his firm but soft-spoken psychology by telling him that the troublesome killer Variant is a “superior version” of Loki. Our Loki is just a “scared little boy”. I mean, why are you booing him? He’s right.

Loki is put to work in the bowels of the TVA on the research beat, poring through case files and having a fun interaction with a live-action Roz from Monsters, Inc. The stakes are high here. Loki’s life pretty much depends on him finding a breadcrumb or two, and luckily he manages it during an emotional montage during which he processes that Asgard, the home he grew up in and then abandoned, is gone. And he didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye.

He digs deeper into the destruction of Asgard and finds that there was no variance energy detected at ground zero and has an epiphany (mmm, we’ll come back to that, no one here is ready for more of my Miss Minutes shtick yet, least of all me) that the show seems to be hoping you don’t ask too many hard questions about. 

Loki reasons that he’d hide in zero variance energy apocalypse events if he were evading the TVA, and is excited to prove himself right. Mobius is dubious, but they try out Loki’s winning theory in Pompeii just as the city is being destroyed. The buddy cop energy is strong in the scene, with Loki acting as the mischievous rookie who won’t play by the rules and Mobius as his older, weary partner. 

Hiddleston and Wilson’s banter remains effortless, and I can admit that it works a lot better than Anthony Mackie and Sebastian Stan’s in The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. Maybe it’s that Wilson’s “bird noises” bit truly feels like improv being done by someone who’s good at improv – the kind of thing you’d usually see end up in a Marvel gag reel. There’s a lot of fun stuff in this episode, but just passively watching Hiddleston and Wilson’s undeniable chemistry even when they’re having an existential chat about life, the universe, and jet skis has proved to be enough for me honestly.

Speaking of which, Loki uses said chat to plant a much-needed seed of doubt in Mobius’ mind about whether the Time-Keepers and the TVA are really the good guys. I’m on his side here: all that Variant killing and near-religious predetermination has left a whole lot of blood on their hands. ATCAB – All Time Cops Are Bastards! No, wait, that’s Jean-Claude Van Damme erasure. I won’t have it.

Anyway, ding-ding, maybe these two mismatched detectives have more in common than they thought, and it all leads to Mobius having his own Kablooie epiphany.

EVEN WORSE MISS MINUTES IMPRESSION SOMEHOW: A sudden epiphany during an episode is often called a “Eureka!” Moment. The protagonist has some good evidence and the case is almost cracked! All it will take is a little bit of inspiring information to help them cross the finish line. If you’ve ever seen an episode of House, you may already be familiar with these moments, and the look on Hugh Laurie’s face when he finally works out that it’s not lupus or sarcoidosis. Come back soon!

Mobius’ “Eureka moment” places the murderous Variant in 2050 Alabama, so Loki, Mobius, Hunter B-15 (Wunmi Mosaku), and a bunch of other Minutemen eventually find themselves inside a slightly futuristic shopping haven called Roxxcart. I love that this show could go anywhere and do anything but will just as happily cut to a file room or a barely-disguised Walmart as it will to apocalyptic fucken Pompeii. 

The Roxxcart mission indeed unveils the mystery Variant: it’s Sophia Di Martino! And the credits identify her as Sylvie aka Enchantress and not Lady Loki as we may have expected.

Depending on your grasp of Marvel lore, this reveal will be quite surprising, thrilling, and perhaps confusing. Pros: we didn’t have to wait as long for this unveiling as we did for WandaVision’s Agatha Harkness reveal. Cons: no catchy theme song. But the fact that this reveal has come so early on in the series is pretty exciting – it probably means bigger surprises lie ahead.

But it’s here that the episode subverts our procedural expectations somewhat. It’s not Sylvie who is revealing her grand plan upon being discovered, it’s Loki. And she’s way ahead of him. “This isn’t about you,” she tells Loki, somewhat echoing the Ancient One’s dying words to Doctor Strange. 

Again, this feels very significant. Ol’ Tilda spent a long time protecting our reality, and her successor is about to deal with a multiverse of madness in his upcoming sequel. And lest we forget how the Ancient One set that truth bomb up: “Arrogance and fear still keep you from learning the simplest and most significant lesson of all.” It feels like Sylvie knows something very important that we don’t, and her own “glorious purpose” goes beyond selfish aspirations. 

Loki might be a little closer to shrugging off his self-absorbed nature than Sylvie realizes. In my favorite part of the episode, he checks to make sure B-15 is okay when she’s left unconscious by her possession. This is a guy who just killed a bunch of people, just absolutely has nothing but contempt for people, and he’s concerned about the wellbeing of a Hunter who has shown him nought but derision. Loki isn’t holding out for a hero. He might just be on the path to becoming one.

Or maybe he was just lifting a weapon off her body and I’ll have to take it on the chin next week.

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[tvhermit-blog]

That was seriously Bull’s finale?!

When I saw the first episode of Bull, I thought this was a different (and almost needed) take on a crime/law procedural show. The idea of trial science is fascinating, and also comes with a heavy dose of criticism from others that claim it to be another faction of pseudo-science. However, whatever your educated opinion tells you, it's still a remarkable look into what Dr. Phil Mcgraw did before he morphed into a glorified Jerry Springer.

If you've never seen the show before, let's get the basics out of the way real quick before I spoil the entire season finale for you (don't worry, there's not much to spoil, sadly). If you've already gotten the gist of the show, skip this next part.

The Team

Dr. Jason Bull created TAC (Trial Analysis Corporation), which takes on clients from a variety of cases that range from the high-profile murderer ala O.J-inspired to the more original cases of fighting a patent suit in the medical world. Personality-wise, the psychologist is the epitome of smug, which can often make him into a one-dimensional protagonist. He can be seen routinely using his adept social perception to grab a hold of female lawyers, which always seems to create the same dynamic surprisingly.

Marissa Morgan is a complementary character to Bull's cockiness, softening his appearance by being key-player at TAC. Her job is to gather the perfect candidates for a "mirror jury," which is a term that you will literally be sick of seeing after the third episode plays the same montage of explaining what that means, minus different faces and personal details. Regardless, she is incredible diligent in her work, making her nearly more valuable than Bull in some cases. It's my hope that they expand more on her as a real character as the show progresses.

Benny Colon is TAC's go-to lawyer, and a good contender for being a favorite. In this season, we were able to explore his past when he was on the otherside of the courtroom as a DA. For some reason, though, the show often forgets it has put him into several romantic relationships throughout the season and yet never has any sense of continuity.

Chuck's job is the most out of place to me, and it also seems to wear thin as the season went on as his airtime was considerably reduced to being basically an extra. As a part of TAC, he is responsible for clothing their clients to appear the way they want them to appear. It's a bit of stretch, in my opinion, but Chuck's likable enough that I'll give it a pass.

Meanwhile, we have Danny, whose job is one of the most logical on the show. It's almost a shame that we don't see more of her. When we do see her, she's gathering dirt that helps with figuring out the strategy to take with their newest case. As a former FBI agent, her connections and training are a huge asset. Like most of the characters on the show, though, her persona is fairly typical and nothing to really rave about.

Then we have Cable, who I personally have an inexplicable feeling of animosity towards. She is the token "geek" of the show, rolling together the hacker role and overall computer genius into one little annoying gem. She is what the average network show would describe as "quirky," which makes all cable shows laugh until they pee themselves.

Now, onto the finale, which aired last night.

In simple terms: you call that a finale? Honestly, that felt like any other case they've ever had on the show. I'm in awe that CBS thinks that having Bull work on a case involving illegal drugs is edgy. If they had wanted a good finale, they should have ended the season on Benny's case that could have ended his life professionally for good, but instead they end it out with no fireworks, nothing to look forward to next season, nothing but Bull potentially having a new partner in crime in the form of the lovely Eliza Dushku? That's pathetic. Although, granted, not as bad as The Blindspot, which is still keeping me up at night and making me question life in general.

To give you a brief summary of the episode, we're dealing predominantly with a single mother in Miami with a druglord brother. In the very first scene, the DEA agents storm into her home during her son's birthday party, pick apart a specific location, and find a ton of drugs that she can't explain. Said brother calls on the law firm that J.P Nunnelly works for, which is the same law firm that has made a lucrative run on defending the guy's cartel. One way or another, J.P is put on the case of defending his sister, while she makes peace with a fact that Bull somehow can't wrap his sanctimonious mind around: her paycheck comes from trafficking drugs, allegedly, of course. So, naturally, when J.P asks for his assistance in the case, he stomps his foot, runs for moral high-ground, before being swayed because of the mere look he's getting from her. Apparently morals can easily be traded for a chance to be with Eliza Dushku, which seems fair enough.

In exchange for taking on the case, and taking on the risk of a winner-takes-all stake, J.P has a contract in her hands from the law firm that already has her name on it. In that unsigned contract, pending on her victory, she will be able to start her own practice and take the clients she's accumulated with her. It's a good deal, and it's all the more reason why she needs TAC's expertise, which creates a constant tug-and-pull situation between herself and Bull, who is still grappling with the idea of the drug world.

All in all, I expected more twists, especially for a finale. I won't blame Bull's disappointment on CBS either, which would be the easy way out, but when even Criminal Minds--a show that has seasons in the double digits now--can produce a better ending... you can only blame the production team itself. I've overlooked the dialogue for some time, now, but in this episode it seemed particularly clunky when it came to moments with Bull and J.P. Either the writers have gotten sloppy or they're just suffering in a type of purgatory where their hands are tied behind their backs to create a more wholesome image.

I also can't tell if Weatherly was a good choice to play Bull in the first place. There are times when that nonchalant smugness works, but when it's chosen for every scene in every episode, it just falls flat overtime. I honestly struggled to find any other words that would describe his character based on his performance beyond "smug" and "cocky." Ever since the success of House, this has been a trending character profile, but Weatherly is no Hugh Laurie.

At the end of the day, I'd watch another season of Bull, but mainly if there was nothing else on. It's not a show I would actively recommend, but it's also one I wouldn't take the time to tell my friends to avoid. It muddles in the background, and that's usually good enough for television to renew it because it holds an average sense of likablity that is mistaken for blandness.