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#kai anderson angst
calummss · 6 months
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Kai Anderson Headcanon: being his girlfriend ‘sent by god’ and slowly manipulating him
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masterlist
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you joined the cult shortly after you met kai at a coffee shop
he came to you hoping he could pitch his ideas to help him be elected
he was instantly attracted to you and didn’t feel the normal kind of resentment he had for women
you gave him your phone number and went on a few dates before kai opened up to you about starting a cult (very indirectly but you caught on)
you were fascinated by this and asked him to show you (stroked his ego real good)
you saw the meetings and kai even got you a custom clown costume you could wear to watch the killings
when you witnessed your first murder and told him it was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen, kai could’ve gotten down on one knee that second
proposing to you in a clown costume, covered in blood with a dead body next to you? you couldn’t have been more perfect to him
so when you officially join the ‘cult’ you realised that in order to further gain kai’s trust, you had to earn it. do something really fucked up as you saw him kill immediate members that had been with him for a long time
so you started to brief him on stuff he should do in order to get elected; lied about gary being a spy and pretend to drink a small dose of cyanide to prove your loyalty to him (it was baby power) not tasty but it worked
kai once again stared at you with heart eyes
winter could tell what you were doing but it didn’t matter anymore
you blindsided kai to the point you could make any claim and he’d believe you; you could tell him to kill x person and he would. bc you would’ve died for him
he thinks it was the greatest act of loyalty he’s ever been shown
slowly you start to lead the cult through your puppet, kai. he’s unaware of it like a cute dog
but some can sense it. but they don’t get far cause you have them killed
kai treats you like royaly and every every birthday he kills the amount of the people that age you turn. reminding you of when you first fell in love
and when kai shaved his head he looked sexier than ever. you give him head, fuck him in every corner of the house and provide evidence for a bug device. manipulation through sex—a womens best weapon
all in all kai worships you, not realising what’s happening bc his delusions comfort him by saying that you were sent by god himself
bonus: he loves fucking you with you on top. it reinforces the sent-by-god belief when he looks up at you. bouncing on his cock. he could literally just think about it and come
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evan4ever · 6 months
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Sick
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Kai Anderson x sick reader
Warnings: Kai being a (slightly more caring) jerk, vomit, sick reader, mentions of pregnancy
a/n: it’s short but I just loved the thought
You felt feverish all night and even into the next day. You knew, by 1 pm, that you had to be running a fever of over 100 by the way your body shook yet your forehead glistened with sweat and your teeth chattered. Your body was hot but you felt freezing. But you didn’t bother attempting to ask Kai for medicine or even a thermometer so you knew the severity of the fever. It would be burdening him and he was busy, especially today.
You barely could keep your attention on Kai during the meeting in the basement. Your eye would flutter shut every so often as your mind focused on not allowing you to give in to the new feeling of vomiting. Your mouth salivated, a warning sign that you were very close to throwing up, but you focused harder and harder to keep it down — at least until the meeting was over. This only made you sweat more and tremble more.
You felt the occasional eye(s) on you, wondering what your problem was or if you were okay. If you could, you’d open your eyes and glare back at them, not wanting their attention on you to bring Kai’s attention to you when everyone’s should be on him.
“Y/n.” You heard your name, your eyes shooting open and immediately landing on Kai who only stared at you with anger.
Fuck.
You cleared your throat and readjusted your position on the floor and nodded to him, a quiet “I’m sorry” being heard just enough for him to shake his head and turn away from you, continuing where he left off.
But that short moment you focused on him rather than on not vomiting led to your stomach turning into a tight knot, your throat involuntarily gagging and you knew you couldn’t keep it down any longer.
Your hand immediately clutched your mouth to hold any vomit that may come up in and you grabbed the couch with you free hand, pulling yourself to your feet and booking it for the staircase. You didn’t care that you interrupted Kai, or that every single human in the rooms eyes were on you before you disappeared up the staircase. You just needed to make it to the bathroom.
Running as fast as your feet could carry you, you made it into the main floor bathroom and threw yourself over the toilet, allowing your body to vomit into it. And it did, over and over again.
You still trembled as you held yourself over the toilet the best you could, vomiting once more before you finally felt some sense of relief. You groaned into the toilet bowl, using some toilet paper to wipe your mouth before flushing the vomit down and pushing yourself from the bowl and into a sitting position next to the toilet.
“Are you pregnant?”
You jumped at the sudden voice from the doorway, looking over to see Kai standing in it, his eyes on you. You cleared your throat and shook your head, almost wishing you were.
You knew Kai wanted his “special” child. And you were lucky enough to have been chose by Kai to carry it when the time would come. So if you were pregnant, the treatment from Kai would be much better than what it’ll be when you announce that you’re not pregnant, but sick with the flu.
Kai sighed, crossing his arms and leaning himself against the doorframe.
“Why are you so sick? Haven’t you been taking care of yourself?” He asked, annoyed at the inconvenience you’ve caused him. “I had to cut my meeting short.”
“You could’ve carried on without me.” You stated as you turned away, trying not to sound as upset as you were. He replied with nothing, so you glanced at him only to see him just staring at you from the same stance. You sucked in a sharp breath and opened your mouth to apologize to him but another vomiting episode began, your body leaning back over the toilet to ensure it be caught.
Your muscles stiffened as they were used extra to throw up everything your stomach held inside of it, and even after every bit of food and drink had been thrown up, you dry heaved and threw up stomach acid.
At some point, Kai had made his way to you, collecting your hair that had been falling inside the toilet and holding it up. You were even more surprised to feel his hand against your back, gently, rubbing it as you continued dry heaving.
“You have nothing left to vomit, y/n.” You heard him from above you, nodding as you slowly pushed yourself back from the bowl again, careful not to allow yourself to gag.
“fuck” you breathed out, feeling Kai let your hair fall before he wrapped your arm over his shoulder and wrapped his own arm around your torso, pulling you to your feet easily. You let out a groan, the feverish feeling returning.
Kai noticed it too, his eyes quickly meeting your with concern. You narrowed your eyebrows not understanding his expression but his free hand found your forehead and then your cheek, and you understood.
“You’re burning up.” He states, your head nodding to agree. His concerned eyes change back to his previous cold eyes, letting out an annoyed sigh before helping you to his room, where you’d been allowed to sleep since he’d chosen you to carry his future child. He helped you next to the bed then let go of you, your arms catching yourself on wall and rolling your eyes at him. “You can rest in here. I have to finish some things downstairs. I’ll check on you later.”
Though you were slightly grateful for the tiny bit of concern he showed you, you were also annoyed because now he expected you to lay down when you were desperate for some kind of fever reducing medicine. But you didn’t dare object to the care he’d shown you, otherwise you’d receive the opposite treatment from him and that’s the last thing you needed.
So, you nodded at him and pulled his covers back, glancing at him once more, his eyes just watching you, before crawling into the bed and pulling his comforter over your body just below your chin. Your eyes met his again, a silent hope for his approval which was granted with a nod of his head, watching as he turned and left the room, turning the lights out before shutting the door behind him.
You sighed hard after he left down the stairs, slapping your arms against the bed as you now lay flat on your back and stare at the ceiling fan as it spins around and around. Your mind wandered to yours and Kai’s interaction in the bathroom, how the first thing he asked was if you were pregnant. He was hopeful, you knew it already but heard it in his voice. He wanted his baby so bad and your body hadn’t given it to him yet. But, yet, despite the disappointment when you told him no, he was still caring for you in the little ways Kai knew how. It wasn’t often or a familiar feeling, but it HAD happened before, Kai caring for you. There were very few occasions but when he acted like he cared, for the moment in time, you couldn’t help but fall so deep in love with him that it made every bad, painful, horrible thing he’s done to you in the past seem like nothing.
It was dangerous.
But he was addicting. And that’s how he kept you addicted. Showing you the slightest bit of love when you didn’t realize you needed it the most. A smart man, indeed.
You heard a knock at the door and looked up, meeting Winter’s soft and careful eyes as she approached you. Your eyes fell on the items she held and you shot her thee most thankful eyes you could, her smile being a you’re welcome.
“Kai, actually.” She nodded as she sat next to you, your body now leaning against the wall as you took the Tylenol and pepto bismol from her. You glanced at her confused. “He sent me up with them.” She smiled, setting the bucket next to the bed and handing you a bottle of water. “Some tea is being made, too.”
Your eyebrows shot up in surprise, quickly popping each medicine in your mouth and taking a swig of the water to swallow them down.
“Wow.” Was all you muttered, resting your head back against the wall.
“Right.” She chuckled lightly. “He can be so… full.. of surprises.” She admitted, you agreeing with her.
“Keeps me wrapped around his finger.” You sighed, your eyes falling on the bucket and smiling at the fact that he knew to even send that up with you in case your body decided to vomit again. It was such a small detail to think about but, it meant a lot. “Makes me love him more than I should.” You whispered so just Winter could hear, your eyes meeting hers sincerely.
She looked at you with pity, knowing what you meant and also knowing it would eventually be your demise. Not many, if any, survived Kai. Winter truly believed that neither you or herself would be any different.
And you knew exactly how she felt but despise her feelings, you knew you’d never get away from him.
“Get some rest.” She squeezed your hands before standing and exiting the room without a second glance, leaving you to your thoughts while the medicine worked on your ill body.
Some time later, another gentle knock at the door brought your attention back to it as Kai now entered, holding the mug full of your favorite hot tea in his hands. You couldn’t read him. He looked neither happy nor mad. He just… was.
His eyes held yours as he approached you and sat the mug by your bed. You pressed your lips together and held his eye contact for another moment before finally clearing your throat.
“Thanks” you nodded.
“You should feel better soon.” He stated. You nodded, thankful for him. “Yeah. I’ll be downstairs if you need me.” He said so simply before turning to leave.
You tried to stay quiet but couldn’t help yourself.
“Stay” you blurt out, silently cursing yourself, but you started so you weren’t going to stop now. “I mean, if you want.” You cleared your throat in uncertainty as he stood still, facing away from you. You stared at him a moment, then continued. “Just stay… please.” You said, now in a whisper.
Kai was never readable. No one ever knew what he was thinking or what his next move or reaction would be. So you sat in his bed, your body tense with nerves, awaiting his next move.
But to your surprise, you watched as Kai easily slipped his shirt over his head. Your eyebrows shot up, almost having no time to react before he was crawling into his bed next to you, his arms pulling you to him. You weren’t sure how to react, so for another minute your body remained tense. That was, until you felt him hold you tighter, silently telling you it’s okay to relax.
And so you did. And you laid in his arms, something you’ve only done a handful of times.
And it felt so nice.
Tags: @evanpetersmood @witchsbitchestime @demxnicprxncess @yes-divine-ruler @shjjpm @evanpsrealwife @iruzias @jangsuzchap @quicksilversg1rl l @submissiveforahsmen @angelmenace @lovelizzie-blog1 @justa19 @daylas-life @simp4petermaximoff @totta69
(I need to redo tags!!!)
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bluerthanvelvet444 · 26 days
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⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚𝙿𝚞𝚙𝚙𝚢 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆
Frat boy Kyle Spencer x fem!reader
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tags: slight angst, fluffy smut!
warnings: swearing, public sex, mentions of Kyle's abuse (poor baby), handjob, p in v.
summary: frat boy kyle being a sweetheart. that's all i have to say.
character count: 11k.
full fic under the cut ↓
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“I'm not going.” You replied, your voice firm and your eyes fixated on the math book that sat on the library's desk, trying to avoid the gaze-that you knew you couldn't resist-of the boy sitting in front of you. You heard him sigh as his doe eyes desperately tried to meet yours.
“But everyone is going…you can't miss it.” Kyle replied with his soft voice.
“I've never gone to any of those parties…why do you want me to go to this one so badly?” You spoke, with a noticeable hint of frustration in your voice.
“Because it's the end of the semester…something to celebrate. Plus, it's gonna be epic.” He said with a toothy smile plastered on his face.
“No, thanks. You know I don't roll with those frat boys.” You rolled your eyes, your words coming out harsh and spiteful.
“I'm a frat boy.” He said, raising an eyebrow, clearly confused by your statement.
“Yea- but you're…different.” You sighed.
It was true. He was indeed different from the frat boys he was friends with. You and Kyle met in Junior year of high school. You were paired up by your physics teacher, who suggested you could tutor Kyle, that at the time had terrible grades. You two clicked instantly, he was fun and outgoing, and you enjoyed spending time with him. Kyle had grown to be incredibly thankful for your help, in fact, he insisted that you were the one who made him passionate about physics, the subject that he used to despise and that now was his main department in college. Although he could seem like the usual asshole frat boy, Kyle was sweet and caring. You knew it, and no one could’ve made you change your mind on that. He was simply a sweetheart.
“Listen, I know my mates may seem rude or not well-behaved…but trust me, as a leader, I established some rules for them. They won’t act crazy, I promise.” His kind voice brought you back from your thoughts. You sighed, thinking about it.
“Brennan’s hosting the party in his summer mansion…it’s next to the beach- it’s so cool, I swear. I-I’ll take you there! I can pick you up and take you home…” He added, wiggling his eyebrows.
“Please?” He said in an adorable voice, his puppy eyes looking hopeful into yours.
You sighed, you didn’t wanna go, but it was utterly impossible to say no to him.
“Fine.”
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You were touching up your makeup. You were ready for the “big night” Kyle was so excited about. You decided to wear something a bit more revealing, a black minidress, because-okay, you didn’t wanna go- but you couldn’t be annoyed and unfashionable all at once.
While taking a final look in the mirror, you heard a knock on your door. You grabbed your bag and opened the door to see Kyle-in his usual frat sweater-smiling at you. He looked at you up and down, scaring you slightly. What if he didn’t like the dress or how it looked on you?
Fortunately, all your concerns faded once you saw his smile widening.
“Woah…you look beautiful. Seriously…you’re stunning.” He said, he couldn’t keep his eyes off you, he wasn’t used to seeing you like this.
You felt your cheeks heat up at the compliments.
“Thank you…” You gave him an awkward smile and bit your lip.
“Shall we get going?” You suggested, to which he nodded. He took your hand and helped you step down the porch. Kyle led you to his car, and opened the door for you with a cute grin.
The ride was calm, you chit-chatted here and there about random stuff, and you swore you saw him staring at your body a few times. After 15 minutes or so, you eventually arrived at the party. Kyle was right, the mansion was beautiful and it faced the sea. You could see lights and music blasting out of the house. He gave you an excited grin and helped you out of the car, walking with you inside the house. It was overflowing with people laughing, playing games and having fun. As much as it seems hard to believe, you didn’t know anyone of those many people. They had familiar faces, sure, but you couldn’t consider them your actual friends. You sighed and nervously looked at Kyle who, on the other side, was flashing smiles to all his fellow frat brothers and friends. You noticed how comfortable he was in his habitat, and how you envied him for that. He introduced you to many people-whom you couldn’t even remember the names of-that obviously didn’t care much about getting to know you, since they even could’ve sworn you did not go to that college. You were invisible even when the attention was on you, and Kyle clearly didn’t catch that. So when he was dragged by his mates to some kind of game, he told you with a chuckle and a rushed tone
“I-I’ll be right back! Chat with the girls, they’re fun!”
Fun. Right. You didn't mean to sound like an antisocial bitch, but they were everything but fun. You saw them from afar just taking pictures of each other-to show on Instagram how much fun they were pretending to have having-or teasing each other about their crushes. You felt bored, so you sat on a chair, sipping a cup of-what you hoped was-punch and waited for Kyle. Time passed, and he didn’t show up, so you got up and started searching for him. It didn’t take you much to find him. Kyle was on the karaoke stage, singing “Rosanna” by Toto.
“Meetcha all the way! Nananaaaaah…” He “singed” while laughing with his mates.
You were conflicted on what to do now. You didn’t want to be a bummer by clinging to him all night, but you were truly bored and felt lonely. So, you did what you believed was best for everyone, you grabbed your stuff and left. The moment you stepped outside, you were met by an unfamiliar feeling of peace, the view surprising you for its beauty and for being so…empty. It was quiet, the only sound that could be heard were the waves splashing against the sand, no people around. You smiled and made your way to the pier nearby. You sat on it and took your shoes off, allowing your feet to sink in the water.
You didn’t know how much time had passed, but you were brought back to reality when you felt Kyle's voice behind you.
“Here you are! I searched for you everywhere!” He was breathing fast, you believed he had been running while seeking for you.
“I thought I left you a message?” You tilted your head.
“Oh… Sorry. I can’t find my phone. Why are you all alone here? The whole fun is inside!” He replied with a giant boyish smile.
“I like it better here. It’s boring inside.” You turned your face to look at the sea again.
“What? How can you call it boring? There are plenty of games! And people inside-” you cut him off before he could finish his sentence.
“Kyle, I hate to break it to you, but I’m not popular like you. The people inside couldn’t care less about me. I feel less lonely here than in that crowded house.”
He looked at you confused.
“Aw, c’mon…don’t be like this. They’re nice people, you just have to make an effort to try to meet them, and I’m sure you’ll have fun.” You didn’t know why those words started a fire in you.
“They’re not my friends, Kyle. I can’t stand those people, I don’t get along with them. And trust me, I’ve tried to be social and friendly, but you may have to consider the idea that not everyone is like you. You’re easygoing and social, you're a freaking frat boy for fuck’s sake. It’s easy for you to say those things.”
He looked at you, mouth agape at your sudden outburst.
“…why didn’t you just tell me?” He looked at you like a sad puppy for bringing you somewhere that made you uncomfortable.
“And be more of a bummer? No, thanks. They already hate me, I don't wanna be a party pooper as well.” You crossed your arms.
He sat next to you on the pier and his fingers gently grazed your jaw to make you look at him.
“You’re not a bummer to me…a-and I’m sorry about that… I shouldn’t have left you alone. Sorry.”
You wanted to be mad at him, truly, but those cute brown eyes melted your heart in every way possible. You bit your lip as you admired him lovingly. He was so caring and sweet, how did you manage to get this lucky?
“I didn’t wanna make you uncomfortable, I- that’s the last thing I’d ever want. You know I care about you… I can’t stand you being mad at me. Please, forgive me?”
You felt your heart tighten at those words. You gave him a slight nod as your eyes travelled down his lips. You wanted to kiss him so badly, and he probably caught onto that, since he slowly leaned in to meet your lips in a sweet kiss. He pulled away slightly, mumbling against your lips.
“Was that okay?” You nodded, and he leaned in again, kissing you once more. This time he deepened the kiss, letting his tongue slip in your mouth and softly swirling it around yours. You let out a breath at how right that felt and how sweet he was being. You pulled him slightly closer and moved your hand to rest on his neck and caress the skin of it. After a bit, you moved your lips to peck his jaw a few times before trailing them down on his neck. Your lips worked sweetly on his skin at first, earning a few sighs from him. As the tension grew, you started sucking his neck, leaving red marks. He groaned and grabbed your waist, you subtly moved your hand down to massage the bulge from his pants. He let out a tiny gasp, and you felt him stiffen, not in a good way. You looked up at him with a confused expression.
“I-I’m sorry…please keep going…” He said with a nervous smile.
“What’s wrong? Did you not like that? It’s okay if you don’t want to…” You gave him a comprehensive look.
“No! I like that… I swear. Just…bad memories.”
“Do you wanna talk about it…?”
“No, I just wanna feel good now.”
You nodded and gave him a gentle peck on his lips before gently undoing his zipper. You ran your fingers over the visible shape of his dick through his underwear, earning a groan from him. You looked at him for consent before gently pulling his boxers down. You blushed as you saw him so vulnerable for the first time. Your fingers wrapped around his shaft, stroking him slowly. He let out a breathy moan.
“G-god…don’t stop…”
You smiled and started progressively speeding up. After a few minutes, you heard his moans grow louder, and you felt his strong hand gripping your wrist.
“I…wanna do it. Is that okay?”
You nodded, and he sat up to gently remove your dress and everything underneath. He was stunned by your body, staring at you as if you were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He helped you lay down, with a massive gentleness, as if you were capable of breaking if handled too roughly. He hovered on top of you, caressing your face as he lined up your entrance with his dick.
“This okay?” He muttered under his breath, to which you answered with a nod. He gently pushed into you, allowing you to adjust to the new feeling. He groaned when he pushed himself all the way in. He held your hand sweetly.
“Can I start moving?”
“Mhm…”
He slowly started thrusting in you, earning moans from you both. He gripped your hand tighter as he felt how your walls clenched around him. When he felt like you were ready, he started going faster, gripping your hand tightly and kissing you repeatedly through the whole thing. You could've sworn you were seeing stars when he started hitting your G-spot with his tip. Soon enough, your moans got louder and you felt yourself coming on his dick. He tried his best to contain his moans and as soon as you finished he pulled out to come on your tummy. He collapsed onto you, pecking your face repeatedly.
“I love you…” He mumbled.
After some time had passed, he got up and cleaned you with the salty water, giggling like a teen boy receiving his first kiss. When he helped you gain your-and his-decency again, he got up, throwing an arm around you and walking happily towards his car.
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a/n: I love Kyle he's so babygirllll. also look at the cute picture i found on pinterest (the one under the title) that boy looks so much like kyle. got me screaming when I saw it. Anywaysssssss. I might post a part 2 of this with frankenkyle, but I gotta finish Peter fics first (spoiler). Let me know if you like it💕💕
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babygorewhore · 9 months
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Scars. Kai anderson Smut.
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Requested by Anonymous!
You have two dark secrets. Both of them you try and keep behind closed doors. However, your boyfriend Kai, knows something is going on and is determined to find out what it is.
Warnings: DARK! Eating disorder. Self harm themes. Virgin! Reader! Oral! Male and female recieving. PnV! Spanking. Do not read if these themes make you uncomfortable! A bit of a slow burn.
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You shoved another piece of food down your throat despite you feeling sick. Kai chatted aimlessly with one of his members. Something you still weren’t used too. Members. It was a cult. Something he frequently denied.
You had never had a boyfriend before, just a few infatuations here and there as you grew up. The relationship was a jump start. He first kissed you last month after only knowing you two days. He somehow knew you were inexperienced. A virgin. You grimaced at the word.
Nausea grew in your stomach and you got up quickly, rushing to the downstairs bathroom. Kai watched silently as you closed the door. You only had a few minutes, you stuck your fingers down your throat.
You gagged before the contents came up, emptying your stomach as you held the toilet. Afterwards, you scrubbed your mouth clean and rinsed with mouthwash. You glanced in the mirror. Your cheeks were puffy. It looked like you cried instead of making yourself sick.
You hated your body. Hated the way it looked in pictures. You mostly hated your stomach. You gathered the flesh in your hands, wishing you could just slice it off. Could you? You thought about what you brought with you to Kai’s house. You didn’t bring any blades with you, since you didn’t plan on staying more than a couple of days.
A knock sounded at the door and you quickly smoothed your clothes. Opening the door, you found Kai leaning against the frame. “You okay, doll?” He asked.
You nodded rapidly. “Yeah. Just a little nauseous.” Kai immediately held the back of his palm to your forehead. “Are you okay? You feel a little warm.” His eyes swept over your face and you leaned away. Nodding.
“Yeah. I’m okay. Um…where am I going to sleep?” You felt stupid for asking but you were nervous. Kai smirked at you as he grasped your hands together.
“With me, of course.” He pressed a kiss to your cheek, lingering on the spot before he let go. “Upstairs. First room on the left. Get yourself comfortable. I’ll be up later.” He gave you another kiss before he turned around. You sighed in relief before going upstairs.
His bedroom was big, his bed made and everything was organized. Except for the drawings and notebooks all over his desk. You glanced around, paranoid he would come in at any second. You crept forward, lifting one small notebook up and you read the contents.
‘She’s always wearing long sleeves. Avoiding questions. I can tell she has things she’s hiding from me. I’ll get it out of her. Eventually.’ Your stomach plummets as you put the notebook back where it belongs.
He was suspicious. You had to be more subtle with it. You subconsciously wiped your mouth, trying to make sure nothing was leftover. You were growing hungry again. Given you never kept the contents of your meals down. Your stomach growled as you miserably laid on the bed.
You were tired. You hadn’t been home all day. You were hot, it was summer and you were in a sweatshirt and sweatpants. You ignored the sweat pooling on your forehead as you turned over.
Somehow you had drifted to sleep but you woke to the feeling of lips brushing your nose.
Your eyes opened slowly, you found Kai leaning above you, his face inches from yours. He smiled at you as you woke up, the blankets wrapped around your legs. “Kai?”
“Mmmm, sorry it’s so late. Baby.” Kai captured your lips in a heated kiss. His hand pulled you from the back of your head, his tongue brushing against your lower lip, inviting him in.
“Kai-“ You spoke, trying to pull your face away. But Kai kept kissing you, pulling your lower lip with his teeth. “Kai- I’m not ready for this-“ You protested as his hand settled low on your hips.
“Shhh. I know.” Kai said as he deepens the kiss. He settled inbetween your legs, kissing down your neck as he sloppily sucked your pulse point. His hand drifted to your stomach and you froze.
“Stop.” He paused, leaning up to look into your eyes.
“Something wrong?” He questioned. You shuffled out his hold and pulled your shirt down, hating that you remembered what he wrote.
“I’m not ready.” You repeated, smoothing back your hair. Kai pulled back and you dreaded the next couple of seconds but he took your hand and kissed your knuckles.
“I’m sorry, little lamb. I got carried away.” You gave him a small smile as he gave you another kiss.
“You’re so shy.” He chuckled and you looked away.
“I’ve never had a boyfriend.” You sighed and he nodded. “I know that’s lame for someone my age.” You shrugged.
“It’s kind of hot. That no one else has gotten to do this.” Kai leaned forward to kiss you again. Pausing over your cheek. “It’s addicting. Kissing you.” He said.
“Really?”
“Mhm.” But he pulled away. Still holding your hand. “I really came in here to tell you. I’m going to be gone tonight. I have a message to send.”
“What kind of message?” You asked him.
“Mmmm. You’ll see. Soon,” He rubbed his nose against yours before exiting the bedroom.
When you turned on the news in the basement, two days later. You were shocked. A brutal slaughter of a couple. Stabbed to death. The smiley symbol. The same Kai was always drawing. You were cold as you realized how deep this really was.
You paced in the basement as the hours went by. He still wasn’t home. Your stomach burned from throwing up repeatedly today from stress.
Why could he be so soft with you, yet be such a brutal monster outside? The door opened. You looked but saw it was only samuels. Who sneered at you.
You couldn’t take it. The anxiety. The dread. None of it. You marched upstairs, to his bedroom before going to his bathroom. You opened the cabinets, relentless in your search before finding his unopened box of razor blades. It wouldn’t make a difference if you took only one. Just one would be enough to last you for a few days. Carefully tucking it back, you lifted up your scarred stomach.
You breathed heavily as you bit down on your shirt, wincing as the blade went across your skin. What you didn’t notice, was that Kai opened the door.
“Y/n!” He shouted and you jumped. Whipping around. Your eyes widened in horror as he rushed towards you. He yanked the razor out of your hand. Throwing it across the bathroom.
“What the fuck? What are you doing?” He snarled at you. You flinched back, intimidated by his anger. This wasn’t usually how he was towards you.
Kai went to lift up your shirt that was stained with blood but you leaned back, avoiding his hand. “Don’t.” You said.
Kai ignored your plea as he pulled your shirt up, revealing the new wound along with several old scars. You tried to shimmy away but he was stronger than you. As he held you still, his eyes raked all over your body. He pulled your shirt over your head, despite your protests.
He had never seen your body. Never outside of a oversized shirt. Leaving you in your bra. “Step out of your shorts.” He commanded. You shook your head wildly.
“I can’t do that.” He started to pull them down and you smacked his hands off.
“Stop it.” Tears welled in your eyes but you didn’t have any fight as he pulled back. Pointing to your shorts.
“Take them. Off.” He ground through his teeth. You shook as you got out of your shorts.
You were only in your bra and underwear. Exposing all of your secrets written on your body. Your stomach growled as he stared at you. You trembled as he reached forward, taking in your scars with his finger tips. You lowered your head.
“Mmm, my little innocent girl.” Kai tsked as he brought up your arm. His lips brushed against the biggest scar but you pulled back.
“What is going on? The way you run off to the bathroom. Hiding behind your clothes. This is it? You cut yourself?”
“It’s not just that! I-I don’t like myself.” You stuttered.
“What else? What else have you been doing?” Kai cupped your chin, forcing you to look at him.
“I- I don’t want to talk about it.”
“You don’t have a choice. Tell me. Right now. Or else you’re not getting these back.” He pointed to your discarded clothes.
“I throw up. I force myself to throw up after my meals.” Kai pales. Shaking his head, he cups your face.
“My little lamb, you’re in so much pain.” He cooes. “Is that why you don’t want me to see your body?”
You nod slowly, his thumbs rub circles over your cheeks before he leans back, taking in your figure. He spun you around slowly, before setting you straight before him. “You’re real pretty. You know that?”
You shook your head.
“It all makes sense now.” He said, his hands resting on your shoulders. “But you hurting yourself? It stops now.”
“What does that mean?” Kai wrapped his hands around your thighs, lifting you up, encouraging you to wrap them around his waist. You held onto him as he walked to the bed.
He laid you on your back, his hand trailing down your stomach over the scars. His knee separated your thighs, leaving you exposed. You looked at him with doe eyes, breathing heavily as his eyes devoured your body.
He leaned down, his lips lightly brushing against yours. You closed your eyes, ready for his kiss when you didn’t feel anything. You looked at him, he tossed over a long sleeved shirt to you. “You can wear this. I have some matters to discuss with my members. We can continue this…later.”
That was a few days ago. He locked the sharp objects away, as much as you hated it. And made you sit with him for at least twenty minutes after you ate. Something he no doubt read about online. But you boiled over at the loss of privacy. But that meant he cared. Right?
But one thing changed. You wanted him to take you. Despite your nervousness. You wondered if he was doing it on purpose. The lingering touches. The fleeting kisses. Everything. You wanted more. Craved him. It was a game. You knew that. But yet…you couldn’t help but wonder. How good would it feel? He was way more experienced. Something he talked about when you first met. So, in the meantime while he spent hours slaving away to his cause, you fantasized about him. Even dreaming about what it would be like. To feel his fingers inside you. For him to lower his mouth…down…down…but would he? He had seen your scars. Found out your deepest secret.
“Y/n.” You lifted your head, not noticing everyone was gone from the basement.
“Come here. I want to ask you a few things.” Kai was sitting at the table. The infamous pinky swear. Something you had seen, but never partook.
You sat across from him, and he extended his hand. Pinky up. You joined your fingers and he looked deep into your eyes.
“Tell me. What is your deepest desire?” You bristled. Knowing the answer. But you were embarrassed to say.
“And make sure you tell me the truth.” He added.
“My deepest desire is…to feel you.” You said sheepishly.
“I still touch you. You do feel me.” Kai said to you.
“Not in that way.” You whispered. “I mean…I want you to touch me. More intimately .”
“You want me to fuck you?” Kai still gripped your finger. You wanted to faint at his brass wording.
“Yeah-yeah I do-“
“Why now? You told me you weren’t ready.” His tone was still serious but you sensed a slight tease in his words.
“I-I wasn’t. But now…I think I am?” Kai nodded before glancing down at your lips.
“I want to fuck you.” Kai tells you simply. “I want to splay you out, right here. Right now. Get you on your knees like the good little slut you are. Watch you take me whole. Cover your face with my cum.” Your heart hammered as Kai tightens his grip on your finger and leans forward.
“But, I think you want to know also, what I would do for you? Isnt that right, little lamb?”
“Yeah.” You squeak. Kai loosens his hand and motions for you to come closer.
You do and he looks down at your lips. “I’ve been curious about what that wet, tight pussy tastes like. You know. The way your clenching your thighs together. Trying to make sure you’re not so wet? Is that what you’re doing?” You couldn’t answer as you watched him dart his eyes at your pants.
“You-you want that?” You asked him, still insecure of your body.
Kai narrows his eyes at you. “You think I care about scars?”
“They’re ugly. Why would you want to fuck someone like me?” Your question hung in the air for several seconds before Kai licked his lips.
“Mmmm. Scars are personal. They tell me things about a person. They tell me about pain. Suffering. And if there’s both of that, then that means I can show you how good it feels to feel my tongue between those legs. Why it’s so worth it to fuck someone no matter what you look like because at the end of the day,” Kai breaks the contact and settles his hand across your neck. “I want to make you scream. Beg. Crawl, suck. Are you going to be a good girl, and listen to me?” His voice grows quieter as he continues and your slick grows.
“Yes. Divine ruler.” The name came out of you without warning and Kai lurches forward, smashing his lips to yours in an rough kiss. You half moan half squeal as he yanks you into his lap, setting you right on his hard dick.
Your hands flew to his hair, tugging on the strands as he breathed you in, his own fingers pressing against your back as his clothed cock dug into you. You both moaned into each others mouths, he drove his erection harder into you as you felt his teeth pull on your lower lip. As if he couldn’t get enough of you.
Kai tapped your leg, signaling you to get down and you did, stopping mid kiss and he guided you on your knees. “Fuck, this is even better than I thought. You look so eager to please me, aren’t you little lamb?” He cooed and brushed his thumb over your cheek.
You nodded as he stripped down to his grey boxers. His cock hard, evident in front of your face. You licked your lips as he slowly peeled them down over his thighs, his red tip was leaking with precum as he gently stroked his length. “Open your mouth, princess.” He encouraged you and you obeyed him.
His coated tip ran across your tongue, as you hallowed your cheeks, sucking softly at him. He started thrusting his pelvis into your mouth, his tip reaching further and further to the back of your throat. He set his hand steadily on your head, gripping your hair as your eyes weld with tears at the salty taste. You sucked him, then ran your tongue over him and he lulled his head back groaning.
“Fuck, that feels so good.” Kai praised you. “You sure you haven’t done this?” You breathed out of your nose as your knees pressed on ground.
He went to your throat, causing you to gag uncomfortably and you tried to pull off. He held you, still thrusting as you couldn’t breathe normally. Finally, he released you and you doubled over. You wiped your chin as he shuddered, climaxing by finishing himself off with his hand. “Mmmm. You looked so fucking good choking on it.” Kai crooked his finger. “Lay down, open your legs for me.” He commanded.
You followed orders, laying on your back as you separated your knees. Kai crawled to you, looking at you with hungry eyes. “How does it feel? Seeing me on my knees for you?”
Kai wasted no time pulling off your pants and underwear, exposing your slick pussy. He brought you closer to his mouth by your hips, laying his tongue flat against your pussy. Your breath hitched as he kitten licked your clit, warmth pooling over you as he licked up and down before pressing his tongue inside. Your head laid back on the floor as he devoured you, taking every ounce of wetness with his mouth, his hand kept you from jerking your hips too much.
Pleasure grew in your belly, tightening in your lower half as he continued. He pressed two big fingers against your entrance, curling them deep inside. Reaching a delicate spot inside you. Snuggly fit in you. You moaned as sweat pooled at your forehead.
“I can’t- take it- I’m gonna-“
“Cum. I want you to cum all over my face.” He instructed before quickening the pace of his tongue.
You released then, rolling your pelvis up as you grew wetter, it trailed down your thighs. Your legs trembled as he pulled away, wiping your slick off his chin.
“Aw, your legs are shaking. Did it feel that good?” He teased.
“Mhm.” Was all you could say. Kai settled inbetween your legs, his heavy cock lining up with your pussy. He pushed the tip inside, you gasped at the sensation as he leaned down, pressing further as he sloppily kissed your neck.
“Fuck, you’re so tight.” Kai breathed as he rutted against you, hands pining your wrists down.
You winced at the pressure inside you, it hurt because of his size but he showed no sign of slowing down. You wanted to reach down to your clit but he hands trapped yours tightly.
“I’m gonna need to go faster.” He grunted and you nodded, thankful that Kai released one of your hands, his own thumb reaching to rub circles on your clit. Your eyes rolled back as a greater wave of pleasure came, much bigger than before.
He increased his pace, his face buried in your neck. “Fuck.” His movements grew sloppy and your nails dug into his shoulders.
“I’m gonna cum-“ you said to him and he circled faster.
He gave one last thrust before he stilled, you felt your own release collide with his as warmth spread through you. And you thanked yourself that you went on birth control. Kai pulled out of you and gave you another kiss.
“You feel so fucking good.” He laid next to you, laying a smack on your ass. You gasped at the contact.
“next time you need pain, you’re gonna let me know. And I’ll make sure to pull you over my knee.” You reached forward to grab his hand and he interlaced fingers together.
“Did my scars bother you?” You asked him.
“No. But I’m still not going to let you do that.” He promised before bringing your knuckles to his lips.
@spill-the-t @icannot3 @ifeeltoofuckingmuch @demxnicprxncess @evanptrss @howtobesasha @randodummy
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vintage-marina · 2 years
Text
"I know what you did."
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summary: you found out what he's done
f!reader, but it isn't really specified
angst
TW: SA, school shooting basically everything what Tate did, fighting, screaming
words: 1103
@dreamsweetener
"He," pausing for a second you looked at Violet with a haunted expression. "He did what?"
With sad eyes Violet looked at you, the two of you standing in the guest room. Her foot was constantly tapping on the ground, her hands clammy. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, Y/N."
She took a step forwards, she noticed the silent tears on your cheeks. Blewing out the air of your lungs you tried to calm yourself, a small sob left your body and before Violet could prepare herself you threw yourself in her arms.
"I should've told you earlier," she mumbled. Her chin was leaning on your shoulder, both you and Violet were holding eachother for 'dear life'.
"It's not your fault." reassuring her you stared blankly at the wooden closet. "I'm glad you told me although it's a bit late."
The both of you fell still, knowing that in the silence the both of you still held eachother dearly. The gears in your brain started working, with each passing second you became more and more angry at Tate.
"I think I have to talk to him, Vi." Slowly you let go of her, unclasping your hands from her vest.
"What are you going to say to him?"
"I," you wiped a few tears away. "Don't know."
"Don't do anything stupid, okay? Pinky promise me."
"I promise," the both of you hold out your pinkies and clasped them together.
Taking some deep breaths you left the room, anger following in your trails. Your heavy footsteps echoed through the house while your breathing was ragged.
You had to find him.
With an agressive swing you opened the door, to his old bedroom (that was now yours). The room was clattered with your clothing and make-up, your walls decorated with pictures and posters, but the room was empty. Letting out a huff of frustration, you slammed the door shut.
Realisation dawned on you that he probably knew what Violet had said, he must have hid himself. A few curse words left your lips and you pulled your hand over your face in frustration.
What the hell, Tate.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
You have to be calm if you want to confront him, why did he have to shatter your heart like that? Slowly you opened your bedroomdoor again and stepped in your room, when you closed it you let your head hung on the door. A deep sigh escaped your lips and a soft sob followed through.
A deep sadness clung in your chest.
You slid down on the ground, your mascara was smeared on your cheeks and with shaky hands you tried to wipe the tears away. For a long, long time you sat like this.
Zoned out, you stared ahead of you.
Headache already forming.
"Tate?" You called out with a hoarse voice. "Please I-we need to talk."
Ignoring your call, Tate tugged at his hair while he mumbled inchorent things. Tears streamed on his cheeks and he sunk on his knees, you were going to leave him.
"Tate!" He heard you crying out, his dead heart shattered at the voice cracks. Why did Violet said something? At the thought of her name, a few more tears fell down.
Buring your head in your hands, your shoulders shook.
Was Vivien in pain during the act?
What did Tate say to his victims?
Were they in pain when they were murdered?
Is he going to hurt you too?
You were getting scared of him.
"Please don't leave me, Y/N," was all that you heard. You looked at him with tears in your eyes, his hair was all over the place and his eyes bright red from his cries. His hand tried to reach out for you and he walked towards you, trying to pull himself in your embrace.
His way to calm himself.
"Stay back," you said with all the strength you could muster. You couldn't trust him anymore. "What?" His face was full of disbelief, more tears brimmed up at the edge of his brown eyes. "Why?" Voice small he stared at the ground, watching his teardrops fell on the wooden floor. What he thought to himself was true, you didn't want him anymore.
Quickly you scrambled up, your arms clung protectively against your midriff. "Why?" you said slowly almost in disbelief. "Why Tate?"
He nodded and a small "yeah" escaped his lips.
"I don't," you took a deep breath and wiped with your hand your tears away. "I know what you did."
"I didn't mean to!" He screamed in desperation, waving his hands erratically. "You have to trust me, Y/N!"
"But I don't Tate! I don't!" you screamed back at him, with half swollen eyes you looked mistrustful at him. "You-you probably don't even regret it," a coldness was in your eyes.
Locking his brown eyes with the cold eyes of yours, he got goosebumps. Anger and panick flowed in his veins and in one swift motion he held your wrist, "That's not true."
You held your mouth firmly, seeing the stormy haze in his eyes you shrunk away. Violet hopefully was nearby, incase things went south. The storm was getting darker and darker and in frustration he screamed: "That not true! You know that's not who I am!"
Tears were still flowing on his cheeks and he shook at you, while his grip was getting stronger and stronger. Flinching you tried pulling your wrist out of his hand, "Let me go Tate," you mumbled voice barely a whisper.
But he didn't, he didn't let you go.
A grunt of pain escaped your mouth and your lungs went wheezing after the impact your back had on the wall. His hands were now on your shoulders and he sobbed in despair that he did regret it and that you shouldn't leave him.
Your head was trobbing and you whispered tearfully: "I don't know you anymore, Tate."
Brown eyes widening, he realised something that you didn't know. He knew you were afraid of him, "You know," his voice cracking slightly while his trembling hand cupped your cheek. Noticing the hitch in your breath, he saw you were trembling too. "I would never hurt you, ever."
You fluttered your eyes, closing only for a moment. Shaking off his hand of your cheek you embraced him while your heart was thundering in your ears. The blond boy melted in your arms and before he could pull you even tighter you whispered at the shell of his ear: "You just did."
"What?" He said again, he began sniffling. "When?"
You shook your head and your hand grapsed the doorknob, "You don't even realise it."
He watched in defeat when you walked out of the door, he didn't follow you. When he saw you leaving the ground out of the window, he curled himself up in a ball and cried in frustration.
3K notes · View notes
luuuuucyscorner · 5 days
Note
Can we get some Peter maximoff bf hcs pls? I miss him so much😔💔
Don't we all nonnie! I can't stop re-reading silverzoomies fics!
𝐏𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐌𝐚𝐱𝐢𝐦𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐁𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬
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peters your dream guy if your into funny guys.
he can be a little immature sometimes
nicknames include; hot stuff, babe
will open doors and pull out chairs for you
hes a complete dork
you have to tell him "just because you can, doesnt mean you should" because this man will literally run to thailand if you say you want pad thai.
dont get me started on his ADHD
this man cannot sit still
always bouncing his leg or tapping his fingers
ARCADE DATES!!!
he would be playing lazer tag and accidentally shoot you, then beg a little kid to shoot him so he could join you. (i read this one somewhere)
LOVES PDA literally always has his hands on you somewhere
would love you if you were a worm
He's the GOD of spooning. he'd switch between little and big spoon depending on his mood.
he fell first AND he fell harder
is an absolute menace whenever you go shopping together
he's like a little kid
"can we buy this?" "no peter" "what about this?" "no peter"
ALWAYS remembers important dates
except that one time he forgot your brithday
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not-alien-girl-v · 7 months
Text
Evan Peters Masterlist
⋆*・゚:⋆*・゚:*⋆.*:・゚ .: ⋆*・゚: .⋆
Characters I Write For:
AHS
Tate Langdon
Kit Walker
Kyle Spencer
Jimmy Darling
James March
Kai Anderson
⋆*・゚:⋆*・゚:*⋆.*:・゚ .: ⋆*・゚: .⋆
My Favs
Frat Boy Kyle 3: This Time It's Personal
Sick
⋆*・゚:⋆*・゚:*⋆.*:・゚ .: ⋆*・゚: .⋆
* signifies smut
The Evans
Evans + PDA
Evans as Nicole Dollanganger Songs
Heights of the Evans
Evans x Manic Pixie Dream Girl
Evans + Gas Station Orders
Evans + Internet HCs
Evans as Ethel Cain Songs
Tate Langdon
Tate HCs 1
Tate HCs 2
Love Languages
Tate x ADHD!Reader
Road Trip HCs
Beach Day
Tate Gets Jealous
Tate HCs Pt 3
Tate x Cooking
Tate x Romance
Picnic + Running Away
Fluff Alphabet
Coldstone
Tate x Transmasc!Reader
Tate x Plus Size!Reader
Kit Walker
Anything and Everything
Love Languages
Kyle Spencer
Halloween
Frat Boy Kyle
Frat Boy Kyle Again
Frat Boy Kyle 3: This Time Its Personal
Frat Boy Kyle 4: The Squeakquel
Frat Boy Kyle 5: This Time They Fight and its Stupid
Frat Boy Kyle 6: They Break Up?!?!
James March
Sick
Love Languages 
Kai Anderson
Love Languages 
⋆*・゚:⋆*・゚:*⋆.*:・゚ .: ⋆*・゚: .⋆
𝙍𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙄𝙣𝙛𝙤
𝙊𝙥𝙚𝙣!!! 𝙄 𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙛𝙡𝙪𝙛𝙛 + 𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙨𝙩 + 𝙨𝙢𝙪𝙩 + 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙪𝙘𝙠 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩
𝙄 𝙖𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙔/𝙉, 𝙪𝙣𝙡𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙧𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙖 𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙛𝙞𝙘 𝙣𝙖𝙢𝙚 + 𝙙𝙚𝙩𝙖𝙞𝙡𝙨 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙠𝙨 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 / 𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙨 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚, 𝙄 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙜𝙡𝙖𝙙𝙡𝙮 𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩���� 𝙞𝙩.
𝙎𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙨 𝙞𝙣 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙢𝙖𝙩 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙮. 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙙𝙤𝙬𝙣 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙡𝙚 𝙙𝙚𝙩𝙖𝙞𝙡 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙞𝙣 𝙪𝙧 𝙧𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩, 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙜𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙢𝙚 𝙖 𝙜𝙚𝙣𝙚𝙧𝙖𝙡 𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙖 / 𝙖𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙩𝙞𝙘 / 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙘𝙚𝙥𝙩 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙄’𝙡𝙡 𝙧𝙪𝙣 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙞𝙩. 𝙄’𝙡𝙡 𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙮𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜.
𝘽𝙖𝙨𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮, 𝙢𝙮 𝙧𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙨 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙖𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙗𝙚 𝙤𝙥𝙚𝙣, 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝 𝙄 𝙢𝙖𝙮 𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙠𝙨 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙡𝙮 𝙧𝙚𝙥𝙡𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢, 𝙄’𝙢 𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙜𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙘𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢 𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝙄’𝙡𝙡 𝙗𝙚 𝙤𝙣 𝙖 𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙠 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙄’𝙡𝙡 𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙖 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙥𝙪𝙡𝙡𝙨 𝙢𝙚 𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙞𝙩 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙄’𝙡𝙡 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝙨𝙤 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙖𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙧𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙖𝙣𝙮𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜!
𝙎𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝙖𝙣 𝙖𝙨𝙠 𝙤𝙧 𝙖 𝙙𝙢 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙤𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙩𝙖𝙜𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩!! 𝙄 𝙘𝙪𝙧𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙡𝙮 𝙙𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙡𝙢𝙠 𝙞𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙖𝙜 𝙮𝙤𝙪 + 𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙛𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙩𝙖𝙜𝙜𝙚𝙙 𝙞𝙣 𝙚𝙭. 𝙛𝙡𝙪𝙛𝙛 𝙤𝙣𝙡𝙮, 𝙨𝙢𝙪𝙩 𝙤𝙣𝙡𝙮, 𝙤𝙣𝙡𝙮 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙧.
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feefymo · 3 months
Text
The Rorchach Effect - Part 1
Jimmy Darling x fem! reader - NSFW • MDNI word count: 2757 author's notes: it was like a multiple birth but here we are. This is my very first attempt of a fanfiction (and it's not written in my native language) but I worked a lot on it and I hope you enjoy it. I tried to keep It simple. After mulling it over I chose to divide the fic in two parts and yes: the smut is in the second part! It's not proofread because I'm a kamikaze, yes. Little curiosity: I was partly inspired by Saltburn and this soundtrack. What else? I'll leave you to read! Be kind, pleaseee! My hashtag is #ficfymo ! summary: Elsa threw a party for Jimmy's birthday but no one knows where he ended up. Fem! Reader POV. warnings: mention of violence, and blood. I think that's it, for now. https://open.spotify.com/intl-it/track/6Huqy9WdEE3rMazEQgajn2?si=2105621ac0044260
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Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome.
I'm the one they call the Rorschach Woman; my real name is not important.
Do any of you know what vitiligo is? Vitiligo is a disease but in the maternal arms of Elsa Mars, nothing is bad. None of her adopted children are sick: we all have a gift, don't we, Elsa? I had a boundless love for ballet, I was busily studying psychiatry, I was a "prodigy girl" or, at least, I thought I was. Then, the vitiligo showed up. What I thought was my downfall, according to Elsa, represented the true miracle. I gave up dancing; I gave up on my dream of becoming a researcher. I lost the support of my real parents because my appearance had changed but hey! Now I have my own number in Elsa Mars Freak Show. I'm here to enchant you. To let you read the spots on my face. I'm here to interpret your minds. This is my personal test of Rorschach, offered to you, kind audience. A few dollars and you can study me, myself every night but not every night are like this. Tonight I want to tell you a story 'cause today is my best friend's birthday. The brother I've chosen. Tonight, a big party was thrown for him but there's no trace of him. Where did you go, Jimmy Darling?
Let's take a step back.
I've never seen the camp so packed. Never. If all these people showed up for every show, each of us would be filthy rich. I don't understand how it is possible and yet, Elsa must have performed one of her magics. She says she consider Jimmy her blood, so she claimed to organize everything herself. She chose a party theme: "Normal People". She call it "satire", a mockery towards those who are truly considered normal. Some of us believed her, others adapted to avoid getting into trouble. The truth is that, by disguising ourselves according to the canons, we appear even less credible. Grotesque. Ridicolous. I couldn't resist a subtle provocation, so I made my complexion uniform but with the white of French mimes. Like a pierrot. Totally painted in white, I wander around in a champagne dress. I look like a crazy moth until I find the flame. That flame is Jimmy himself, surrounded by a myriad of strangers who urge him to blow out the candles.
- Happy birthday… uhm… -
- Happy birt… Joseph? -
- Jack? John? -
- I think it's Jimmy. -
- Jimmy? Are you sure? -
- JIMMY! -
The music does not cover the murmurs nor the embarrassment that comes down like a curtain. I try to push and elbow to reach my best friend but I can't. He's standing there, nerves to edge: he looks around, clenching his teeth. He seems lost while he's trying to put an unconvinced smile on his Peter Pan face. Once the candles have been blown out, Jimmy disappears in the general disinterest. Nobody cares, the party continues as if nothing had happened, fueling an atmosphere that has nothing normal about it. It's something like a mesmerizing nightmare in the suffused lights that Elsa had placed everywhere. A luminous design that even turns into a labyrinth in the wild meadow near the main event. It should be a modern fairy tale for the privileged who want to escape from the routine. For us, scum, it's an illusion. A utopia, a warning of what we will never achieve but I don't give a fucking damn. Sincerely. If I'm still here it's not because of Elsa nor because I truly appreciate her Cabinet Of Curiosities. I'm still here for my "acquired family" and for the boy who should be the protagonist of the evening which no one cares about.
Driven by the chaos, I search for familiar faces in the dim light until I come across Ethel; she shaved her chin. She is holding a plate with a slice of cake that she has prepared herself and she's standing in the dancing crowd, with a worried and resigned look. We both knows who the cake is for: Ethel has seen his son, maybe talked to him but she won't chase him. I prefer to not disturb her but I don't give up: retreating into a slit of darkness I collide with someone and jump perhaps exaggeratedly. Paul emerges from the darkness, rubbing his side with a grimace. He wears a hideous, gigantic suit to disguise his condition. It makes it look like a sad parallelepiped. Doctor Frankenstein's Creature.
-Paul, sorry! Did I hurt you?! -
-Nah, no biggies! What about you? You're nervous, what's happening? -
-Well, uh, I'm… have you seen Jimmy? I've been looking for him all night. -
- First I saw him with a brunette, she was dragging him towards El-'s tent… hey, that's the one over there! -
But the brunette is not in Jimmy's company: laughing rudely with her friends, she passes by me in a sweet-smelling cloud of glitters. She carries with her a kind of old oil lantern lit on a gesture that makes my blood run cold: cheeky, she twirls a battered glove on her head and, in one breath of Pink Lady, she's already too far away. Even though I would like to, I'm not going to confront her and complicate things because I prefer to follow her steps backwards. An alarm screams wildly inside me and I have to comply with it by launching myself out of the tent. The humidity of the night sticks to my skin, kneading the white paint that I thought was dry. I'm a mess inside and out but it doesn't matter at all.
- JIMMY! - I call, shout and run. I run, run, run like a fugitive. A voice whispers the worst to me and maybe I'm crazy but I can't help it. - JIMMY! - I keep repeating myself but he doesn't answer. The throat burns, the feet go by themselves, swaying dangerously on the heels. I didn't even realize I had ventured onto the lawn until I felt tickles on my ankles. Fräulain Elsa's illuminations invite me to follow their aura like drunken fireflies and I, disaffected, accept. I'm not afraid that Jimmy is dead but, worse, that he's gone. That he left me alone, leaving suddenly and without me. He promised me that if we ever succeeded, we would leave together and one suitcase would be enough to move to Europe. He always kept his promises, he…
I stop, crystallized in the heaviness of the evening. I hear noises scattered throughout the maze of light bulbs: they come from a specific point but they echo and bounce in the air. It sounds like the clumsy moan of an animal that it would be better not to get close to but I obstinately follow the source to the center of the maze. Once I reach my destination I jump somewhere between horror and relief, putting a hand to my mouth so as not to be discovered immediately. Sitting on the ground is Jimmy Darling. Hunched over, he turns his back to me and fiddles with something I don't understand. He is surrounded by objects, some of which I cannot distinguish. There are a few bottles including one of vermouth still sealed, half a lemon, a shirt reduced to a pile of wrinkles in Granada Green, the other glove specially sewn for the party. Some salt, perhaps? The worst aspect, the most dramatic touch, is a pinata hanging over his skull. A lobster-shaped pinata. As I try to figure out whether or not I'm awake, a low, deep growl forces its way into Jimmy's lungs, flaying them with increasing violence. The growl is quickly turning into the pained cry of an already wounded beast. I won't respect his privacy any longer, so I walk over to him and kneel before him.
- JIMMY! JIM, STOP IT! STOP, DAMMIT! - Jimmy was on the verge of cutting off his left hand with a rusty knife but my arrival ruined his plans. He doesn't recognize me right away and his immediate reaction is to turn against me. He is much, much stronger than me but, even if he vehemently chases me away, I attack again in what turns into a blind scuffle. The moment Jim realizes it's really me, he drops his guard groggily. He is no less upset, nor willing to suddenly change his mind but he grabs me by the elbows and pushes me away roughly so that I don't end up hurting myself. Crawling on the ground, he steps back before pulling himself up and staggering but he isn't drunk. He's been drinking but it's not the alcohol that shakes him like this: I recognize the difference, also because I've never seen him in this state. In his big good eyes there is no freshly roasted coffee but boiling petrolium. His expression, a cracked mask of hatred and at the same time authentic desperation, reduced to its core. He trembles in his sweat-soaked undershirt and makes a gesture that he has never deemed necessary in front of me. He hides his hands, trying in vain to put them in his back pockets, like a child caught red-handed. Does he feel reassured by my presence? Is he bothered by it? He's gasping.
Jimmy what… what are you doing? Why?! - I ask him in tears, advancing slowly on my knees. - NO! - he spits out a scream, trying to freeze me in place. - Please… Y/N, no. Enough. That's enough. - I shake my head, I'm confused and I rub my now soaked cheeks. Gray due to the white mixing with the black of the mascara.
- What are you talking about, pleas st-… -
- SHE SCREAMED, Y/N! SHE SCREAMED IN GENUINE TERROR, I TELL YOU!-
- BUT WHO, JAMES?! FOR GOD'S SAKE, WHO?! -
He hates it when I call him James but that seems strangely to appease him. He stares at me like a madman and, in silence, seems to wonder how it is possible that I don't know the circumstances of his delirium but, gradually, lucidity returns and, at the same time, an atrocious sadness. - That… oh, fuck. She was one of the very few people to smile at me and make me sincere wishes. Did she really want to spend time with me… did I fall for it like an idiot? I do not know. It was her! She chose it, I warned her but… - while Jimmy tries to explain, he forgets to hide from me and gesticulates, so I notice a burn on the hand that he was seriously about to cut off. The living flesh fades from red to the paleness of the bladder. Grains of not completely dissolved salt outline the surface like grotesque lace. He must have poured it in. - She took off my glove, alluding to my skills as a pilot but then a heartbreaking scream and… and… I had to let it go. Instead, I tried to calm her down but she…how the fuck is that possible? How did she not know I'm a fucking freak? It was written all over the damn thing! But she knew it. She knew it very well. My attentions were the perfect excuse to defend herself. She called me a monster, a half-man, an abomination and so on, you know, what's new? But then… she burned me with her fucking lantern. You convince yourself that you have a zest, that you are used to it and yet it's not true. And, as with Meep, the day comes when insults are no longer enough. - he doesn't have the courage to look at me but what he says is intimate. Devastating. Shareable. - The bar of wickedness is raised. Of course! That girl wasn't defending herself. She squirted oil on me once, twice, three times. She was torturing me, only stopped because I raised my arms and… the fear came back. She's gone. -
I'm annihilated. Annihilated by what I see and hear, I undergo the hypnosis of Jimmy's pain which soon becomes mine too. His irises are diluted by a sea of ​​tears; suffering makes him unfairly wonderful. In the meantime I have reached him and, from the bottom of my position, I stare at him without embarrassment. I wrap one arm around his knees while the other grabs his good hand and places it on the back of my neck. He wants to take it away, he puts up a feeble resistance but he hears me sobbing and stops immediately. - Yes, Jimmy: her wish was to hurt you. This isn't a party, it's a visit to the slaughterhouse and we are the pigs. As always. - now I hold him with both arms, rubbing my face between his knees. The fabric of his trousers becomes stained white make-up until my skin is almost clean. I raise my head. My face's a palette used between stains that can be washed away and stains that my skin retains.
- Look at me. Are you looking at me? -
- I am. - he says, with the tone of someone who absolutely has to convince you. He hasn't noticed but he's stroking my hair. His eyebrows furrowed and his mouth turned down. -The kindness with which you caress me has never belonged to anyone among the few who have touched me. Not even my mother. - I'm deadly serious. I look at him with watery eyes but it's his tear that rains down my forehead. - Not even to myself. - because I mistreated myself, inflicted physical pain and consequent signatures but he… - If those are really claws, everyone should have them. Maybe they would learn what kindness is. - if I wasn't the one talking to him, he wouldn't believe me. He would mock me, it would be bitter and biting. Instead he fights with the truth that I offer him and stares at me dazed. Almost angry, hunted. The problem is that he believes me, so he picks me up and it's as if he's looking at me for the very first time. His forehead is damp with sweat, so I free his unruly curls before rummaging through my clutch bag. I make sure he follows my gestures and I take out a box of matches: I choose one and place it under the perfect curve of his nose. He flinches but stays as I light the end and, solemnly, set the piñata on fire. While the papier-mâché lobster is devoured by the flames, little by little, melted sweets and chocolate perish in the meadow. Neither of us needs to introduce what's about to happen: just as I stand on tiptoe, he lowers his disheveled head and the tips of our noses meet. It's the last chance to retract before the soft "m" of his upper lip meets my lower lip, dehydrated from makeup. In the first friction there is the disbelief of all the years in which we have not allowed ourselves and then, surrounded by the smell of burning, the kiss intensifies in an unstoppable crescendo. Jimmy wraps his bare arms around my body with the eagerness of someone who must survive. For my part, I let out a moan and cling to his shoulder blades: I realize what I wanted and how much I needed to be satisfied. Jimmy and I share the thrill of the kiss, so much so that he murmurs something incomprehensible against my teeth before parting them with his tongue and searching for mine. He holds my head as if I were water and he was drinking and he doesn't care about the cosmetic taste I have on; his lips turn pale. He slides down my neck without any self-control and I understand that he would take me here, right now. In the midst of the fire. - Wait. - I try to stop him with a deafening smooch. We are out of breath and the air is irrespirable but he stares at me with an imploring look. - How much longer? - he plead. I feel his blood vibrate under his golden skin, between the vertebrae of his broad back. - You have to trust me: I have an idea. - The smoke screen rises towards the sky and us. We… dissolve in the middle.
taglist: @taintandviolent @silverzoomies @doll3tt33 @wh0re43van @fear-is-truth + PLEASE, If you want to be added or I forgot someone, let me know!
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taintandviolent · 2 months
Note
JUST seen that you reblogged the angsty prompts!!! so i’m coming at you with another request - forgive me </3
maybe ‘you scare me’ with kai !!!
warnings: Kai being Kai.... y'know. language. kinda dialogue heavy? maybe? I don't know.
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In Kai’s basement, a presidential debate is on in the background, the words blurring together, drowned out by the sound of your own heartbeat, your own pulse throbbing in your head. Feeling dizzy, you stood next to the table, hands hovering over it. Kai waited. Patiently. Too patiently, as though he had all the time in the world – which you knew he didn’t. He acted as though he did and that unsettled you to your core. 
After a shaky breath, you looked from the seat to him and back again. “You scare me.” 
“I know,” he affirmed with a smile. He gestured to the seat across from him. You finally took a seat, knowing that once you put your elbow on that table, pinky out, there was no going back. You hesitated, but Kai urged you down with a nod of his head. 
It was just you two now. No one else in the world. You pulled the chair out, settling into it, with your hands in your lap. Kai’s smile, which had started to fade, generously returned, beaming at you proudly. You’d taken the first step; that was worth celebrating. You’d been honest with him without even taking his pinky… what a champion you were.
“I’m proud of you.” 
With his elbow resting on the table, he extended his pinky towards you. It waited there, like a death sentence. 
“Take it.” A beat. “I said, fucking take it!” 
You tried to steady your hand as you lifted your own pinky to his, curving it around his digit.
“What do you want?” You asked, starting off the questions. 
“I want you to stop being such a weak, pathetic bitch. You’re weak and afraid. Afraid of your own desires.”
You clenched your jaw, setting it hard. You weren’t going to confirm an insult. 
“You think you’re a sly little fox, fooling everyone.” 
You blinked back tears. Now he was getting too close. 
“The reason that I scare you, Y/N, is because I know you.” 
Your lips pursed, hot breath rushing out of your nose. You shook your head. 
He yanked you closer with your pinky, and whispered. “I want nothing but fucking honesty. That’s the whole point of a pinky swear. You’re not that stupid, are you?” 
You shook your head again, slowly. 
“That’s better. Now. I know you very well, and I know what you crave… but why don’t you tell me?”
You swallowed, and ran your tongue along your lips, wetting them as they’d gone dry with anxiety. “You.”
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calummss · 5 months
Text
Him & I | Kai Anderson
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summary: you came to kai like you were an angel sent from god. he finally met his match. you wanted to get revenge and he cleared the path
pairing: fem! reader x kai anderson
words: 2.9k
a/n: kai is everything i despise in a man yet i cannot stop thinking about him. fuck my rights i’ll make you a manwhich like the woman i’m supposed to be NOT PROOFREAD TBH
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Gluttony is a sin. So is sloth. Eating an entire bag of chips was not healthy. Sitting on the couch from dawn to dusk, only getting up to relieve yourself, was not good. But who listens to God these days anyways.
knock knock
‘Be right there!’ You yelled, hoping whomever was at the door could hear you and would wait until you had mentally prepared yourself to get up from your nest. You pressed pause of Golden Girls, placed your bag of gluttony on the table and brushed the remaining crumbs on your finger on your back thigh. Thankfully you showered this morning so whomever you greeted wouldn’t be welcomed with the smell of your tiredness. It was just one of those days where doing nothing was the most satisfying for the soul. Keeping the ripples of the sea of stress at bay, hoping that the storm wouldn’t take over.
Through the small peephole of the front door you saw an unfamiliar man with kool aid blue hair in a suit who was swaying his body as he waited to face the owner. ‘Jesus christ,’ you cursed under your breath, letting your hand slide over your face. Not Jehovah witnesses again. You had told them to not come back but when life serves no purpose we mainly cling to the unimportant aspects of life and let small parts become our worst traits.
You opened the door, dropping your droopy expression and replacing it with a hostile smile. Kindness: America’s number one trait making it an aggravating society.
‘Hi,’ you grinned at him, ‘not interested.’
The man blinked at you, wrinkles on his forehead reminding you of the ripples in your soul as he breathed out a laugh. ‘You don’t even know what I was going to say, Ma’am.’
‘Call it my gift.’
‘You must think I’m in some kind of cult,’ he smiled, ‘I can assure you I’m not. My name is Kai Anderson and I was hoping I could talk to you about my plans for this town so I might be able to persuade you into voting for me to become a member of the town council.’
‘Oh.’
‘Can I come in?’
‘I suppose…’ You were unsure but the thought of your pepper spray in the kitchen drawer made you feel safer, in case anything went wrong, so you resorted back to the smile you first gave him. ‘Of course. Come in…?’
‘Kai Anderson.’
‘Right, Kai. Can I call you Kai? I’m Y/n Blythe. You can call me Y/n. Oh my I am rambling,’
Kai came in as you stepped aside to open up the door for him. He kindly took off his shoes. A rule you had but hadn’t seen most Americans do. You looked back at him as you started to head to the kitchen to make sure you wouldn’t lose him. You immediately opened up the cupboard to grab a mug.
‘Tea or coffee?’
‘Coffee would be nice. Black please and thank you.’
‘No problem,’
‘I have to say,’ he placed his folded hands on top of the counter as he watched you get his coffee ready. ‘You are the first person in this neighbourhood to invite me in and to welcome me so kindly.’
You watched him as you grabbed another mug to make yourself a drink too.
‘Most think my ideas are too radical. Too oppressive. Too different. These people preach about change every day but when I give them a chance to vote for change they ignore me.It’s like these people get off on living in his prison courtyard they’ve created.’
‘So what are your goals, Kai?’ You took a sip of your piping hot drink after handing him his own. ‘To strengthen this town’s safety? God forbid this cluster of people need to be…polished.’
Kai’s face somewhat softened. ‘That’s exactly what I said…’
So when Kai talked about his idea you listened. To every word, to every detail. Kai was going to make this town safe again. And for some reason you couldn’t explain, you believed him. Every single word he said to you in the confidence of your own house, you believed.
‘By the hope you don’t mind me saying this but you are so beautiful and I would hate myself for not asking but am I able to take you out to a café this week ‘ He asked, his hazel eyes burning into your soul, making those ripples turn flat as he gazed at you like a had witnessed a deer in the wild. ‘I just, you’re really beautiful and kind and your beliefs about this town have drawn me to you,’ Kai had gaped at you the moment you had opened the door to him. Eyes shining in the sunlight; you looked like an angel. Perhaps an angel God had sent him to. Like he was supposed to find you. For him to find his own angel.
When you went on that date with Kai, it had turned into three more the following two weeks. He mentioned that he had a group of friends that are helping him with the campaign and the more he revealed about it, the closer you got to the truth, at least that is what you thought. It sounded like a cult whenever he rambled on about anything that involved these ‘friends’ and whether or not it was true, it was something you wanted to find out. It took Kai persistent asking and a little push to allow you to ultimately bring you to his house where for some reason you felt weirdly comfortable. The friends or members you came to know were Winter, his sister, Beverly, Ivy, Gary, Samuel, Meadow and Tex, who had been tending to Kai like servants since you had entered his house which instantly confirmed your suspicions. But it didn’t scare you away. A man able to convince the partly smart people had to confirm some sort of high intelligence and if Kai wanted to make you part of his team or not, in your heart you had already made up your mind: you wanted to join. What did you have left to lose? A life? Family? Job? Perhaps.But when does another opportunity like this present itself. To become infatuated with a dangerously powerful man? Never. Maybe you could change him if you truly wanted to but right now, he was perfect. You would become his angel and he’d be your cult leader.
‘Kai,’ you said as you all gathered across the couches, some of their heads tuning your way. ‘Can I ask you something?’
‘Of course, Y/n. Anything,’
‘Are you guys behind the murders that have been happening?’
Now every head turned your way. You could hear the outside wind blowing through the trees, uneven breaths as you uttered your question. Why was it so shocking? They were the murderers. You knew it and sooner or later someone else would’ve found out.
‘It’s fine if you are. You don’t have to deny it.’ You saidly, letting out a small chuckle. ‘I saw a clown costume stashed on the couch and I saw one of them go into Chang's house.’
You saw Meadow stare at the ground. Must’ve been her. Kai looked back at the costume you had nudged your eyes at and confirmed it was Meadows when he gave her a cold stare she didn’t notice.
‘Why?’ Kai turned his head back to look at you with a weirdly twisted smile that made your stomach churn. ‘Do you like that we kill people? Does that excite you?’
‘Honestly I like it and yes. I mean I was attracted to you before but now I really fucking like you,’
His eyebrows softened as you said your words.
‘Can I come and watch a killing?’
Kai had given the others a look to which they all started moving towards the stairs, further confirming the authority he had over them. In a matter of seconds the basement was empty and his presence within the walls grew dramatically. Like smoke he expanded into every crevice of the room, hovering over you like poisonous gas that crept into every cell of your body. Watching your every move like he was a deity. ‘You want to watch a killing?’
‘Yes.’ You replied.
‘What if you were to pick out the person to be killed?’
‘I think I’d like that even more,’ you could feel a tinge of warmth collect on the apples of your cheeks, avoiding eye contact as Kai’s eyes held the most sinful stare you had seen.
‘Who?’
You looked up from between your eyebrows, ‘My ex-boyfriend,’ you started already seeing Kai’s nostrils flare with jealousy. ‘Cheated on me when I gave him nothing but the woman I thought he deserved. Now he deserves to die.’
Kai came awfully close, a chill taking over your body as he placed his large hands on your arms with a firm grip. Tighter than normal; possessive, like a hunter holding its fragile prey. ‘Tonight. Meet us here at 11pm and I swear you will get your revenge, little angel.’ Lust protruded between your frames, like hot heavy steam that fogged up your glasses if you go too close, but went back when you stepped back trying to calm your nerves. Like a priest in a confessional booth he made you nervous. Like he could see into the most intimate parts of your soul; feel you; see you like no one could. The way his voice penetrated your ears telling you what to do. Siren-like commands that you had complete control over yet wanted to treat him like your leader.
Later that evening when you returned back to Kai’s house, you saw everyone dressed in the clown costumes you had seen entering and exiting the Chang’s house only now there were less red stains than before. Meadow lifted up a black trash back with a fading smile. ‘Kai only gave me a few hours' notice. Hope it fits.’ You opened the bag to find a sort of skirt and top with pink and black stripes with a mask that reminded you of a scarier version of a childhood clown you had once encountered at an amusement park where you momentarily got separated from your parents leaving you terrified and vulnerable. Getting changed went by quick and by them time you had gotten into your new outfit, Winter hd already started the van so that as soon as you entered the back of the vehicle, Winter started driving down similar streets you took whilst dating the boy who was in for a sweet treat tonight. Kai kept eyeing you the entire time. Maybe he tried to find a momentary weakness; a flinch of regret, anything he deemed not worthy, but he never found an ounce of repression, only the focus of a woman who knew exactly what and how she was going to do it. The walk to your ex’s house was filled with a relaxing quietness. The calm before the adrenaline would rush through your veins ready to lift you to the clouds as you took in the feeling of satisfaction. The lights were on in his bedroom, the room you had found him in inches deep in the girl you had thought to be your friend at the time. The door creaked almost too loud as Samuel pried open the door with a bolt, waving the rest of the group towards him as he checked the inside of the kitchen. Samuel let you lead the way with the floor plans ingrained into your mind as you had the others on your trail awaiting you to let them know when you stood outside his door. Marshall—said ex-boyfriend was blasting old rap music so you knew he was showering. He said the shower provided him with the need to rap and listen to old hip hop. One of his quirks you had learned to love but now loathed. With the song changing to Eminem’s discography, the music you sang together later to find him fucking her to Evil Seed brought up a fire in your stomach ready to unleash. Kai came up behind you and placed his hand on your shoulder telling you to go in. Feeling a bump of confidence, you opened the door and walked across his room to where his bathroom door stood shut. You decided to not wear the mask Meadow had given you to let Marshall feel calm before real intentions were laid before him.
You opened the door, Marshall’s shower steam covering his body behind the glass, eyes shut, mouth moving to the songs. You walked over slowly, yet he never noticed anything until you had said Hello, inches away from him. Marshall jumped back almost losing balance, wide eyes and raised eyebrows relaxing when he realised it was you, a faint chuckled escaping him as he reached for the music box to turn down the music.
‘What are you doing here?’ He asked nicely, a hint of confusion in his eyes.
‘I missed you.’
‘You left me.’
‘I know. I think it was a mistake.’
He didn’t answer.
‘I wasn’t good enough and should’ve been better so that you wouldn’t have to look for the missing part of me in other women. My fault for not being good enough.’
‘You really want to get back together?’
‘Yes,’ you came closer, reaching for his cock to palm him. He lifted his head, lip quivering as he fought to keep his eyes open. He lowered his head to say something by the way he had opened his mouth but when he opened his eyes again, his knotted eyebrows staring past you had made you aware that the others must’ve been behind you by now.
‘Who are they?’
‘My friends.’ You continued to pump his cock, giving you complete control over him with a single motion. You could feel Kai’s eyes slicing into your back but it didn’t matter. You weren’t enjoying stroking his cock because you wanted him, all you needed was control and for a man irresistible to a handjob it was the perfect weapon to be used. ‘They’re here to help me.’
‘With what?’
‘To kill you.’
‘What.’
‘You hurt me, Marshall. You tossed me aside and fucked another woman. You broke my heart.’ Your grip tightened around him, the pressure inching him closer to coming. ‘Now I have to do the same. To move on.’
‘What—What the fuck are you on about, Y/n.’ He tried to push you away but you pulled him closer with a tug. ‘Get out.’
‘No.’
‘Leave or I’ll call the fucking cops.’
‘Fine,’ you said. ‘Can I take what’s mine at least?’ You stared past the others into the old room you were sure still had a few of your items you had forgotten about.
‘Sure but after I want you to fucking leave.’
‘Okay.’ You smiled.
A low-pitched scream filled the bathroom door as you stared at Marshall whose eyes rolled into the back of his head, hand flying to his front only to find his cock in your hands, red dripping from both of you as you threw it over your shoulder. ‘I’ll take the rest of you with me.’
After you had gotten your revenge on Marshall, you stood around him in a circle, covered in blood splatters and sweat pearls.
‘That was the most beautiful thing I have ever done and seen.’ You breathed, catching your breath as you stared at the bloody sight.
Kai stared at you with heart eyes. He could’ve gotten down on one knee that second and asked you to marry him but the thought of you palming Marshall less than twenty minutes ago had made his eyes go dark, a wave of anger and jealousy consuming him entirely as he stormed off downstairs. You immediately followed him to see him slide off his clown head, baby hairs sticking to his temples, nostrils flaring like they had before at his home. He was angry.
‘Why did you do that?’ He growled.
‘I did it because Marshall cannot say or do anything when his cock feels good. I wanted to control him one last time. Why? Did it make you jealous?’
‘Yes it fucking did?’ He bellowed, spit coming from his mouth as he strutt towards you, pushing you into the wall, his hand around your throat as he came dangerously close. ‘You tell me you basically like me and then touch another man’s cock. Are you a whore? Why did you do it!’
‘Would it make you feel better if I touched you now?’
‘Don’t play with me.’ He snarled, his grip on your throat now so tight you could feel the air thinning. ‘You’re mine.’
‘I know.’
‘Say it!’
‘I’m yours.’
‘And don’t you forget it.’ He pulled you to his lips by your throat, releasing the pressure that had bound you to half breaths.
He was your leader and you were his angel. In the end it was him and you. Only a love that you could understand and that was fine because you didn’t want to share any part of him anyway.
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evan4ever · 1 year
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Better Than Me
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Warnings: Angry distressed Kai, past memories of abuse, smut/sexual indications
a/n: mostly Kai’s perspective, flashbacks, might be kinda confusing sorryyyy
It’s been 3 months since Kai ended things with you. It was truly a selfless act, breaking up and kicking you out for your own safety. But it’s Kai, it never comes out that way.
“You don’t belong here”
“You don’t fit”
“You’re a liability”
“You could never amount to what this group needs”
“I don’t want you anymore”
Every word hurt. Sure, you weren’t as good at killing as the rest. You had a ways to go. But you tried your best and you figured Kai would teach you like he did the rest of the members. But instead, he kicked you to the curb. Didn’t even kill you like he would anyone else. Threw you out like you were nothing.
And you spent the last few months picking up the broken pieces of yourself and putting them back together. You never went back, Kai made it clear to stay the fuck away, that he didn’t want to see your face again and if he did, it would be ugly. You knew what he was capable of, so you stayed away at his request.
Kai, on the other hand, was a fucking mess. He was angrier than ever. Scarier. The members walked on eggshells around him. They didn’t understand why he broke up with you only to become even colder than before. If you truly made him as unhappy as he said, wouldn’t that mean with you being gone, he’d be better? Nicer? No, Kai wasn’t capable of being nice, they knew that. But they definitely expected anything but this.
It was late tonight. Kai ended the meeting and everyone went their own ways leaving Kai alone in the basement. Silence filled his ears, and that made his mind race. Memories filled within him. He was at his all time low, he hated everything around him, everyone around him that wasn’t you.
He looked around the empty room, his eyes landing on his empty, unmade bed and his heart instantly aching at the sight. 3 months ago, you would be in it. Ready for him to come to you, ready to take care of him after his stressful day and after every meeting. Now empty and sad looking.
• flashback •
“You’re kidding?!” You gasped in shock while laying in bed, your arms around Kai holding him to your chest while his arms were wrapped around your body.
“Not in the slightest.” He grinned to himself proudly. He had just told you what he had found out one of the members had done.
“And then what?” You urged him to continue while one of your hands fingered through his hair gently, soothingly.
“I killed him, of course. Couldn’t have a big mouth running around the city like that.” He shrugged against your body, snuggling into you more which allowed you to wrap your free hand around him tighter. This was normal for you two, always ending your night talking about the happenings that the day held. You loved hearing him tell you all about his day, and he loved how interested you always were. It was so comfortable that it became a routine.
“Never. How’d you kill him?” You tilted your head, interested in all the details. Another thing Kai loved about you — you wanted to know everything. You wanted to know the most gruesome details and it was empowering to him. Maybe the fact that you talked him up. You always fueled his ego and he fucking loved it.
“My bare hands, baby. The worst way to go, don’t you think?” He moved his head back a bit so he could look up to you, your eyes immediately looking down to meet his.
“Oh yeah. Watching as the man before you holds any air from your lungs, feeling that fear fill your body with every attempted gasp, knowing your life is coming to an end and being dragged out for minutes? The worst.” You explained your take on suffocating, not that you’d know for sure but how you’d imagine it. “And you, watching the life slowly slip away from your victim, the one who went behind your back and threatened everything you’ve worked so hard for? There’s no other way to do it.”
Kai smiled up at you, his head tilting to the side now as he admired his beautiful freak. All he could think was how did he get so lucky? You were never scared of him, and that was a win, because he knew the others were. No, you stood proudly as his side through every kill, every fight, every torture. You were a goddamn godsend.
• end of flashback •
Kai’s jaw clenched hard as he shook the memory from his head, his hands running through his hair and down his face trying to wipe all the feelings that came rushing back. This has been happening for awhile now. He did so good in the beginning, not thinking about you or what he had with you. But as time went by, memories began flooding him and despite his hardest efforts to keep them away, he was no match, and all he could do was keep trying.
He let out a small huff before finally making his way to his desk. He needed to find some documents, that was on his agenda for the day and something that had been discussed during the meeting, so he figured that would keep him occupied considering he had no idea where the fuck he put them last. Most of the important papers and documents and files were always placed on or in his desk somewhere, so it was a start. He began flipping through all the papers that were spread across the top of the desk, picking through them as he eyed each one for the title, but found nothing. He opened drawer after drawer repeating his previous actions, picking through everything within each drawer and slamming each one shut when he still failed to find what he needed.
He opened the last drawer and immediately stood up straight from his crouching stance, swallowing hard as he stared down at what was now in front of him. Pictures. He nearly forgot how to breathe as he remembered taking them and hiding them from you so you wouldn’t take them when you packed your belongings to leave. Each one a picture of the two of you. From selfies you took of you alone, selfies you took with him, Polaroids he took of you, pictures of you two together that someone else, likely Winter, took. They filled the entire drawer alone.
He didn’t know exactly why he took them. He was supposed to let you go, but for some reason he couldn’t bare the thought of not having some kind of reminder of your relationship. He couldn’t bare the thought of you taking the pictures just to throw them away or burn them with your memory of him. So he took them and hid them from you, pretending not to know where they were when you asked before you left.
And now, as he stared down at them, he felt the rage build. He pulled one from the pile and gazed down at it as another memory filled his head. The picture was a selfie you had taken of yourself and him at the mall, your arms around him and kissing his cheek so aggressively. He chuckled at it, remembering how happy he was in that moment. You brought him to Victoria’s Secret so he could pick out a new lingerie piece for you, you wanting him to pick out his very favorite.
• flashback •
“Come onnn..” you urged, pulling him with you into the overly feminine store. Kai groaned but allowed you to pull him and guide him around. He was disgusted by the amount of estrogen the place was filled with, but was happy seeing your wide smile and hearing your occasional giggles. Not to mention, knowing he’d get to fuck you in whatever he picked out later was a bonus. “Okay! Pick anything you like. What do you want to see me in?”
Kai looked around at the multiple sets in front of him, eyeing them intensely trying to imagine you in every piece. Each one sexier than the previous and making him hard just thinking about you in them. “This one.” He grabbed the deep navy blue set, of course being the most revealing. You grinned and took it from him before taking his hand again and leading him to the dressing rooms, entering one while he stood in front of the now closed door. Kai shoved his hands in his pocket and swatted uncomfortable while he waited for you, avoiding any and all eye contact from other females in the area.
“Okay, almost done… okay! Ready?” Kai hummed a response to you, his eyes flickering to the door as you opened it so he could see you from inside. His eyes went wide when he saw you, not yet taking in the set on your body but because others might be able to see you, quickly entering the dressing room and closing the door behind him. You took a step back a bit confused, your eyebrows furrowing while you stare at him. “Wha—“
“Someone could’ve seen you.” He cut you off, almost angrily. You tilted your head a bit, but he continued. “You’re for my eyes only.” His eyes darkened then as they traveled down your almost naked body hungrily, a low groan escaping from his throat. You pressed your lips together tightly while you gazed up at him through your lashes seductively.
“Well then, what do you think? Is this the one?” You questioned, doing a quick turn around for him so he could take in every angle. He watched, his eyes never leaving your body.
“I think I need to fuck you right here, right now” he practically growled, grabbing your hips and pulling you to him only to back you up against the wall, his lips on yours roughly, wasting no time in pulling his pants and boxers down enough to release his member so he could fuck you hard against the dressing room wall, no mercy or care for the other beings that could hear.
• end flashback •
Kai remembered the way you felt, the way you tasted and the way you sounded so perfect. If there was one memory he didn’t want to lose, it was that one. The ecstatic feeling, the adrenaline, and laughing as you were kicked out. He smiled when he thought about the fact that you dressed yourself with the lingerie still on, running out as you were both screamed at. You got a free lingerie set and he got one of the best fucks of his life out of it.
He set the picture down gently on top of the desk over the other papers, sucking in a sharp breath as he rested his palms on the desk and leaned on them. His eyes closed as he once again tried ridding himself of the thought of you, but to no avail. You were stuck there like a sliver embedded in his heart. He told himself over and over that he wouldn’t miss you, but if a lie alone could kill, he’d be dead and buried 6 feet under.
The harder he tried to stop thinking about you, the more memories flooded. Your hair in his face, the way your innocence tasted, the bed he laid in at night getting colder and the constant pretending that he could ever forget you. It was like a tornado in his head at this point, the picture of you in his head finally pushing him over the edge.
The little switch in his mind flipped and Kai lost it, swiping all of the papers and items off of his desk sending them crashing to the floor before grabbing the desk and flipping it easily with a loud thud as it broke into pieces on the ground.
“Fuck!” He screamed, kicking the pieces of wood multiple times before turning and punching his wall, his fist going straight through it. He pulled it back and gazed down at it, his fist now bloodied. His jaw clenched at the painfully good feeling it gave him, immediately throwing his fist into the wall again making a new hole. Then again, and again, and again.
He pulled himself back, already out of breath but needing to break more shit. He grabbed on of the broken legs of the desk and turned around, swinging it into the TV that was placed on a TV stand and sending it flying, beginning to beat the TV stand next before kicking it as well. He grabbed his computer and flung it into the wall with another loud crash, grabbed his nightstand lamp and threw it into another wall next.
Everyone could hear from above him, but no one dared to check on him or interfere, for fear of their life. Not even when you had entered the home and made your way to the basement. Some wanted to object, tell you that you were making a mistake by going down there, that you were the last person he would want to see. But everyone stayed silent and watched you disappear behind the basement door.
You could hear the crashing and the pained screams from Kai. Your heart hurt even though you had no idea what this fit of rage was about, definitely not thinking it was about you. You had came back after all these months because you had forgotten a few of your belongings and it took all this time to get the nerve to go redeem them. You wouldn’t bother if they weren’t important, but you needed them. And walking in on a silent house full of quiet people only sharing glances at one another before your ears filled with the muffled noises from below and deciding to check on him.
You still loved him, therefore if it killed you to make sure he was alright, so be it.
But just as you turned the corner to find him, you were nearly struck with the bedside table that Kai had just throw, a gasp leaving your mouth as you ducked and nearly hit the floor to avoid being hit. You blinked a few times before bringing yourself back to your feet carefully, your eyebrows raising high as you saw the state of the room. Everything was broken. Glass was shattered. And when your eyes landed on Kai, your heart sunk. Both of his hands bloody and bruised. It took everything to finally lift your eyes to his, his already on you.
Though they weren’t angry. They didn’t hold an ounce of anger in seeing you. No, they were full of surprise and despair.
He was broken.
But why? Surely it couldn’t be over your relationship ending. He was the one who ended it, after all.
“Why are you here?” He finally spoke, clearing his throat and recomposing himself so he was standing straight, trying his best to look intimidating. But you weren’t intimidated. You were just worried.
“I forgot some things..” you began slowly, looking around the mess of a room again before clearing your throat and wrapping yourself in your own arms, “I was just going to grab them and go..” you nodded. “Are you okay?” You whispered out after a few moments of silence, Kai’s eyes quickly looking away from yours.
“Fine. Get what you need and go.” He waved you off as he turned to his bed and stood before it. You watched him carefully, deciding to slowly make your way to him when he didn’t move another muscle. He heard your shuffling of each footstep and felt your presence grow closer, and he wanted to tell you not to touch him, to fucking leave him alone, but he couldn’t get it out. He was desperate to feel you.
When he didn’t move or object your closeness, you slowly raised your hand and rested it on his shoulder. He tensed under it, but quickly relaxed and that was your sign that he was allowing you to comfort him. You rested your other hand on his other shoulder and gently rubbed down his biceps and back up. Within some minutes, he relaxed his body more into your touch, allowing himself to lean back into you. You rested your head on his back, continuing to comfort him.
It felt so good to feel him again, and him feel you. The last 3 months have been nothing but hell for you both and this was all you needed. Kai silently cursed at himself for giving in and not sticking to his word. But he needed to feel you again.
You slipped your arms underneath his and allowed yourself to hug him from behind, his head falling back slightly as he held your arms tightly to him. His eyes were fixated on the ceiling as his mind raced, knowing this was the last thing either of you should be doing.
He felt so guilty. You were so good, good to him, good for him — and he was so bad. Bad for you. He knew that, and he hated that you couldn’t see it and he couldn’t make you.
You heard him let out a big sigh but didn’t move from your position.
“You deserve much better than me.” He spoke quietly. You swallowed hard at his words, but only hugged him tighter.
Maybe so. But you didn’t care. You loved him, you needed him.
Tags: @evanpetersmood @witchsbitchestime @demxnicprxncess @yes-divine-ruler @shjjpm @evanpsrealwife @iruzias @jangsuzchap @quicksilversg1rl l @submissiveforahsmen @angelmenace @lovelizzie-blog1 @justa19 @daylas-life @simp4petermaximoff @totta69
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drowningyoursorrow · 6 months
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'CAUSE I'M YOUR JAZZ SINGER AND YOU'RE MY CULT LEADER
kai anderson x gn! reader
summary. - you've always been hypnotized by kai's upmost beauty that choked you and trapped you within his grasp. he would always disregard you and eventually, you gave up, but would he let you go? w.c - 1.5k
| heads up ! violence, swearing, kissing, drugs?, kai is an asshole
MOST often, you'd find yourself gazing upon his features as he spoke to the group, his determination inspiring you. You had a special fondness inside you at the mere thought of him, pushing away his harmful tendencies and brutal words. You weren't the most important in the group, you were quiet, weak in his eyes. Hiding yourself away from the world, too scared to be seen, and he hated it. But you had devotion and loyalty, that's what mattered to him.
You found each other at a coffee shop, where he 'accidentally' came across you and led you into a conversation. He took note of your fragility, and he saw how eager you were to finally talk to someone. Loneliness seeping right through you, it was pathetic, really. He felt a small ounce of pity within him as he realized how easy it was to draw you in. To manipulate you right into his little trap, reminding you of all the good that they're doing.
Your eyes captivated as he spoke so eloquently of what he's doing, and how he needed to see your admiration. Which you gladly showed him, all the things that flowed through you. All for him. He had always called you a sinner, and you began to embrace the name, you dutifully let him in.
Without knowing, you were already put in a cage that he trapped you in. It was almost as if you placed the leash onto yourself, with your own hands, looking at him in the eyes as you did so. Locking yourself into chains, just for him.
To you, ii was all worth it, every sacrifice you made just to see the look of approval cross his face and his arms encase you as he complimented you. That was how far he really ever went with you, just holding you, since that was all you needed. Kai took notice of the warmness of your body and your doting eyes whenever you looked at him. It was addicting, having someone so dedicated by his side.
Always floating in the back whenever a meeting was called, solely focused on him and his words. Every syllable coursing through your veins as you listened, it felt like a drug. As he spoke, he'd find himself looking your way, focusing on the love that displayed itself through your eyes. It began to feel like he was only speaking to you, addressing just the two of you in the room.
Like a black shadow emerging into a sunshine.
Your name had engraved itself into the back of his mind, your face suffocating him when he worked. It was terrifying to see the hold that eventually made its way around his neck, because no one should have this power over him. Especially you. He felt his eyes always reach for yours whenever you were near, arms itching to close you in. And to keep you, just for him to see. Nobody was good enough to view you the way he did.
It felt like a curse, a spell that kept him in a trance he didn't want to be in. Kai always ended up near your side, right when you came into his view. Like a damn dog.
He didn't want to be seen as weak because of some ignorant member can't seem to look away from him for once. But he bathed in your gaze, your words, even more with your love and devotion. He wanted to drown in it all.
But you were poison in his eyes, intoxicating but yet so harmful. He shoved away all the things he wanted with you, all the things that you made him feel.
Now all you faced were glares from him, his words cutting through you whenever he talked with you. Just burning hatred exhibited itself behind his eyes whenever you looked at him, but you were fine with that. You loved every part of Kai and if he viewed you so negatively, you'll change. You'll become someone better, just for him.
Wanting to switch your whole identity just to not make him hate you in any way, scared of what'll become of it. But Kai couldn't completely keep himself away from you the way that he liked. Sometimes he'd find himself knocking at your door and allowed you to love him the way you both wanted.
He'd guide you in, let you trace your fingers along the harshness of his features. Your delicate touch and embrace almost pained him as he watched as you did so, expecting some sort of pain. But he let himself relax into you, the comfort consuming his very being. Your words filled his head and everything began to feel like it was destiny, like you were made for him. You'd carve your love into his godforsaken soul, and he'd help you hold the blade, wanting all of it. Needing to smother in all of your fidelity.
All he ever asked was to be soaked with all that you had to give him, to drown in every part of you. His brows would furrow whenever you left when he awoke, leaving him to lie there alone. Kai knew you'd always come back, you were addicted to him as much as he was with you. He just didn't have the self-restraint he wanted. If he did, he wouldn't be at your doorstep every night.
He took you like he took his Adderall, the substance melting in his mouth as he swallowed it away. The faintness of addiction at the tip of his tongue, consuming every part of you that he can.
But Kai was cruel. You always ended up in tears whenever you interacted with him, his disregard of you was beginning to hit you. How he shoved you away when he pulled you in, and how he yelled at you to have some sort of dignity. His fragile fucking masculinity. You'd always come back, like a kicked dog still begging for attention from its owner. You were starting to realize how pathetic you were being, just for the likes of him. How you always ended up with bruises and cuts when all you tried to show Kai was appreciation.
Gently placing your lips upon the scars that he inflicted, they were reminders of him. You showcased it to the world, that he marked you. It was fucked up in a way, but it was what you had to offer, to present. Soon, you began to bandage them up, wince from the pain and sob into your sink as you did so. It didn't feel like love anymore, just endless suffering. It was all too sickening for you. You'd hide yourself away, not wanting to be seen like this anymore, ashamed.
You'd draw yourself away from him, falling back into the crowd that he had. Hiding yourself away as you started to be seen less and less. You were always at every meeting, the first person to arrive and the last one to leave. But eventually, Kai began to notice how you stopped showing up as frequently. Even if you did, you'd be staring at the floor, avoiding him. You locked yourself from him and no longer showed your longing the way you did before. All he saw was discomfort and regret surround you whenever he checked up on you, the love no longer there.
It hit him harder than he realized, at first he brushed it off. You weren't special, there were other people that would gladly do whatever the hell he wanted. But he never leaned into their embrace the way he did with you, he began to feel the emptiness take place within him. The burden swallowing him.
He'd kiss your palm and tell you everything's alright, watching as you pulled it away and wiped it. Avoiding his eyes as they studied you, heartbreak evident behind them. His hand would twitch, and his sorrow turned into anger, his face contorting into betrayal. He raised his hand and smacked you, watching you fall to the ground. Shakily, holding your head into your hands as you fought back sobs, not wanting him to see you be weak. But all you could do was sit up and stare at him, before he quickly rushed downward and shoved his face into yours.
Your faces molded into one another as you cried into the palms of his hand as he finally held you the way you wanted. Fitting perfectly into one another as you worshiped each other, tears escaping the both of you. Laughing incessantly into each other's ear as the familiar sensation firmly etched itself into both of your hearts. The love you had for each other seeping through your weeping as you rested into the other.
Even from all the pain that Kai has caused you, the scars that littered your skin because of him. You knew that you'd always end up wanting to be in his arms, and for just the two of you to be away from the world. Because all you ever really wanted, was just Kai Anderson. And you'll accept everything and anything that he had to offer you because of it. Because of your love.
Give me all of that ultraviolence
..............................................................................................................................
- This was very rushed - Based off of Ultraviolence by Lana Del Rey - Might write one short story every day this week - Not proofread
Hope you enjoyed and if you have any requests or questions please dm!
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blackroseguzzi · 1 year
Text
I really hope you guys like this one! I’d love your thoughts in the comments 🥰
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Honey kisses 🍯 💋
Summery: You are Kai Anderson’s Muse.
Warnings: language, mentions of death, mentions of sexual acts.
He remembers the first time he locked eyes with her. She was showering in the downstairs bathroom of his home. He didn’t know how she got in there, or why, but he was happy she was. He stood in front of the shower in a trance. Their eyes burning into each others as if reading the minds of one another.
He watched as she slowly rubbed the soap into her skin. He wasn’t even tempted to watch her hands glide over her perfect velvet breasts and dripping wet pussy, her eyes fixated on him was erotic enough.
Kai Anderson was anything but soft. He was manipulative, aggressive, over-critical, and slightly disturbed- but not around her. To him, she was his goddess. He melted into a puddle of desire when he was around her, but not just for her body; he craved her mind just as much.
As a political science major at Winter’s college, you were a very important part in Kai’s master plan. You were knowledgeable in his quest for world domination through power of social justice and his strong republican beliefs.
You also smelled like fresh cut roses and tasted like honey.
You were a whiskey on the rocks, and Kai was an alcoholic.
You- the drug, and he wanted to be high. All. The. Time.
He never showed the others that she was favored. She didn’t mind him railing Meadow, actually you had told him to. Meadow needed to feel wanted, and she knew if Kai made her feel that way that she could forever be loyal to him.
He always just pictured that it was you. He would fuck Meadow senseless, images of you naked and laying on a bed of flowers beneath him as he did it.
He loved his sister, and she was the only one he trusted to know who Kai Anderson really was. Winter was the only one to know him in and out…until You came along. He had been vulnerable with you, and so thankful she didn’t bat an eye when he introduced her to his parents or when he had told her about his plans for his growing cult. You was his perfect little “Tesoro”.
Some might fear Kai Anderson, and the wrath of his followers, but to some, nothing was more terrifying than YOU - because Kai was a leech, feeding off of you, trying to make the world a better one.. for YOU.
He watches you sleep, the way your body moves as you breath. He sometimes wonders why something so mundane as a human breathing could look so perfect when you do it. Kai felt as though you sometimes could read his mind. He loved girls who slept naked, and there you were, every night, your bare skin curled in his sheets. Or When he would come home hungry, you were always there with dinner ready.
Oh, and how could he forget - He loved the way you woke him up with your head under the sheets. His morning erection was always taken care of.
He never asked much of you, because you had just always done whatever it was he dreamed a girl would do for him.
Don’t get him wrong, you were your own entity. You loved Kai, but he didn’t own you like he did the rest of his cult. You never questioned the moves he made, or the people he targeted. You did however give him insight to only make him stronger. You were his little precious battery pack.
If anyone was to ever touch you, hurt you, make you angry in any way - You’d be dealt with more brutal than those who had not.
He thinks of the first time you kissed often. It was like an orgasm to his lips. He felt the addiction brew deeper in that moment. Your tongue felt as though it was searching around for his darkest secrets. Your kisses tasted so good. You were utterly addicting.
The way your body fit his like a glove during your intimate earth shaking love making sessions was when he realized you were made for him. He didn’t believe in soulmates much because of what he had seen in his parents, but damn he believed if souls were made up of something - yours and his were the same recipe.
You liked to link your pinky with his. You had stated that according to Chakra or Energy Healing, the little finger is associated with the heart meridian and the water element. As such, the pink is symbolic of feelings and emotions, happiness in particular.
He would always feel the power of your soul when he was pinky linked to you. Sometimes they would fall asleep that way, and kai would kiss your forehead and stroke your hair while you slept-The image of fucking you nice and slow while you were in nothing but your black Thursday Boots flooding his mind.
He had tried so hard to protect his queen. He knew that people around him would be able to tear down his walls if they used you against him. He knew the agonizing pain it would cause him if you were to bleed at the hands of his actions. Of course, no matter the harrowing efforts he made to keep you out of harms way- your death was loyal, furore, and for the sect of what you both had made.
So, when it was his turn, he was thankful that in the afterlife he would be greeted by you and your honey kisses.
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babygorewhore · 10 months
Note
For the text series: drunk texts plss lol
Anything for you, sweetheart!! This is extra goofy because this was so funny in my head.
Texting the Evan’s. Drunk Edition.
Warnings. Mostly fluff but Kai being sexual. As expected.
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Evan Peters.
“Heyyyyy Baby. I miss youuuu. When are you coming home?”
“Evan, have you been drinking?”
“No.”
“Evan?”
“Okay. Just a little sip. But I was lonely and I miss you. 🥺”
“I’ve been gone 20 minutes.”
Kit walker.
“What’s 40 divided by 5?”
“Kit. What are you doing? Why are you asking me about math problems?”
“Because I’m trying to add us together.”
“Kit. You’re doing division.”
“Shit.”
Kyle Spencer.
“I’m drunk. Coke home?”
“Coke?”
“I meant come. WAIT-“
Jimmy Darling.
“When I was 10 years old, I was bullied at school and called lobster boy and now I’m crying next to field of roses because they made me think of you.”
“Jimmy, maybe you’ve had too much to drink?”
“No I haven’t. Shit. I have a joke.
“Wait that’s really funny. Oh shit that’s me. I just answered myself.”
Kai Anderson.
“I really wanna fucking get you pregnant.”
“Kai. Stop drinking and go to bed.”
“Or what? You’ll come here and fuck me?”
“KAI QUIT IT.”
“OR WHAT? I JUST WANT YOU TO CARRY MY MESSIAH BABY.”
Tate Langdon.
“Babyyy I think I’ve had too much to drink. When are you going to come home and cuddle me? 🥺”
“Sweetheart, I can’t come home yet. I have to finish studying.”
“Is studying more important than me? 🥺🥺🥺🥺”
“No. But I need to get this done.”
“I get it. You don’t love me anymore. That’s fine.”
“TATE-“
James Patrick March.
“Darling, dearest, my love, my mouse, my little fox. Please, come back and join me for a drink? I promise to engage in all the affection you desire. Perhaps we can sit and I can finally finish that colored film, Breaking dawn, was it? JPM.”
“James? Are you serious?”
“Yes, my little Angel. I only wish to indulge your little fantasies of me chasing you as a vampire. Us being creatures of the night. And succumbing to our darkest wishes. JPM.”
“James Patrick March. Are you drunk?”
“No!! My sweet little vixen. I wouldn’t dream of engaging in such vile behavior. JPM.”
“James, you don’t have to sign your name. I know it’s you.”
“But what if a madman went on the loose and stole my indemnity.”
“You mean Identity. Someone stealing your identity.”
“WHAT? WHO DID IT?”
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𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐬 ❀ all masterlists ❀ all ahs masterlists 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 ❀ all the evans headcanons
𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐎𝐑 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘
𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐝𝐨𝐧 (𝒎𝒖𝒓𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒆) ❀ all tate langdon
𝐤𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐞𝐫 (𝒂𝒔𝒚𝒍𝒖𝒎) ❀ all kit walker ❀ all kit smut ❀ all kit fluff ❀ all kit angst ❀ all kit x gn reader ❀ all kit x male reader
𝐤𝐲𝐥𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 (𝒄𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒏) ❀ all kyle spencer ❀ all kyle smut ❀ all kyle fluff ❀ all kyle angst ❀ all kyle x gn reader ❀ all kyle x male reader
𝐣𝐢𝐦𝐦𝐲 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 (𝒇𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒌𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒘) ❀ all jimmy darling ❀ all jimmy smut ❀ all jimmy fluff ❀ all jimmy angst
𝐣𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡 (𝒉𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒍) ❀ all james patrick march ❀ all jpm smut ❀ all jpm fluff ❀ all jpm angst ❀ all jpm x gn reader ❀ all jpm x male reader
𝐫𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐡𝐚𝐧 (𝒓𝒐𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒌𝒆) ❀ all rory monohan ❀ all rory x gn reader ❀ all rory x male reader
𝐤𝐚𝐢 𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 (𝒄𝒖𝒍𝒕) ❀ all kai anderson ❀ all kai smut ❀ all kai fluff ❀ all kai angst ❀ all kai x gn reader ❀ all kai x male reader
𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐦 𝐠𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐭 (𝒂𝒑𝒐𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒚𝒑𝒔𝒆) ❀ all malcolm gallant
𝐣𝐞𝐟𝐟 𝐩𝐟𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 (𝒂𝒑𝒐𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒚𝒑𝒔𝒆) ❀ all jeff pfister
𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐬 (𝒅𝒐𝒖𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒇𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆) ❀ all austin sommers ❀ all austin x gn reader ❀ all austin x male reader
𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐓𝐎𝐖𝐍
𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐧 𝐳𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐥 ❀ all colin zabel ❀ all colin smut ❀ all colin fluff ❀ all colin angst ❀ all colin zabel x gn reader ❀ all colin zabel x male reader
𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐋\𝐗-𝐌𝐄𝐍
𝐩𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐱𝐢𝐦𝐨𝐟𝐟 ❀ all peter maximoff ❀ all peter smut ❀ all peter fluff ❀ all peter angst
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luuuuucyscorner · 6 days
Note
Hello xxx
Could I request an angst fanfic for Kit Walker x fem reader inside Briarcliff Manor, please?
I'm so excited this is my first ask! And ofc I can anon! I hope this is what you meant!
𝐆𝐞𝐭 𝐎𝐟𝐟 𝐎𝐟 𝐇𝐞𝐫- 𝐊𝐢𝐭 𝐖𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐞𝐫
Info: when kit steals some bread, you take the fall. However, Sister Jude knows that it was kit, so his punishment is far worse.
Tags: mentions of blood, crimes, whippings, religion mentions, angst
word count: 7960
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Kit's heart races as he watches Y/n get dragged into the room where Sister Jude waits, knowing full well what's coming next. He clenched his fists tightly, nails digging into his palms as he tries to steel himself against the inevitable screams that would soon tear through the air. He can't help but feel partly responsible for this -- he'd been the one to take the damn bread loaf in the first place, he couldn't help himself. He knows stealing food is petty, trivial even compared to what Y/n's now facing, but he can't help feeling a twinge of regret that it's led to this. To Y/n taking his place, to the cruelty she's sure to endure as punishment.
He shifts restlessly, when the sudden appearance of Sister Mary Eunice catches him off-guard, his heart hammering in his chest as she grabs him by the collar and tosses him unceremoniously onto the cold, hard floor. Pain radiates through his body as he hits the ground, jarring his already-frayed nerves. But as he looks up, he sees something even more alarming: Y/n, shaking and terrified, standing before Sister Jude's desk, the cruel nun's gaze boring into her like a hawk eyeing its prey.
Kit's stomach drops as he realizes what's happening. This isn't about the stolen bread anymore - this is about torment. About who can withstand the brutal regime of the Braircliff institution. About who will be broken first. He watches, frozen, as Sister Jude reaches under her desk, pulling out a wicked-looking whip with metal studs lining the braided leather. His gut twists in horror as the nun starts moving towards Y/n, cracking the whip menacingly, the sound ringing through the air like a gunshot.
Kit can't help it - he launches himself forward, scrambling towards Sister Jude, ignoring the sharp pain shooting through his side as he tries to reach Y/n. He snatches at the nun's robe, desperately trying to pull her away.
"STOP!" sister Jude bellows, "OR ILL ADD ANOTHER TWENTY LASHES ONTO YOUR 'GIRLFRIEND' HERE" she threatens menacingly.
Kit freezes mid-lunge, blood pounding in his ears as Sister Jude's voice booms through the room like thunder. He swallows thickly, glancing between the nun and the helpless Y/n. Another twenty lashes...he could barely stand the thought of what she might already be enduring. And yet, there's no way he can let this continue without doing anything.
Slowly, agonizingly slowly, he lowers himself back down to the cold floor, every muscle tense and ready to pounce again if necessary. But for now, he holds himself still, seething silently as he meets Sister Jude's cold stare. "You wouldn't dare," he growls, voice raw and hoarse. "I won't let you hurt her."
His heart feels heavy in his chest, fear warring with anger and despair. He knows that defying her could mean more pain for both him and Y/n, but he can't bear the thought of watching her suffer any longer. There has to be some way out of this nightmare, some chance to protect those he cares about. He just needs to find it before it's too late.
"Assume the position" Sister Jude instructs Y/n, who does as she's told, shaking and bending over the side of the desk.
Watching Y/n bend over the desk, tears streaming down her face as she obeys Sister Jude's command, Kit's chest tightens into a knot. His mind races, searching frantically for a way to save her from this hellish fate. But there is nothing he can do, no magic trick to undo the situation. All he can do now is watch, powerless and terrified, waiting for the first strike to fall.
As Sister Jude raises the whip, Kit's heart seems to stop altogether. His breath catches in his throat, a silent prayer for mercy that he knows won't be answered. He wants to scream at the nun, beg her to stop, demand justice or mercy or humanity. Instead, he bites his lip hard, tasting blood as he braces himself for the sound of that cruel instrument connecting with Y/n's fragile form.
When the first lash finally falls, it's like a bolt of lightning striking the air around them. A cry rips from Y/n's throat, echoing through the room like a wounded animal's howl. Kit winces, closing his eyes briefly against the image of her flesh being torn.
"the first of fifty" the nun states stoicly
Kit feels a surge of nausea rise in his throat as Sister Jude delivers the first of fifty lashes to Y/n's trembling body. Each strike sends shockwaves through the room, rippling through Kit's bones and making him ache with a pain that isn't his own. He clenches his fists, gritting his teeth as he tries to block out the sounds and images, to shut down the part of him that feels too much, too keenly.
But despite his efforts, he cannot escape the reality of what's happening before him. Y/n's screams fill the air, mingling with the sickening sound of leather against tender flesh. Her body jerks and spasms with each blow, bruises blossoming across her pale skin like ugly flowers. Tears stream down her cheeks, contrasting the blood that drips from fresh wounds.
Kit's heart feels like it's being ripped apart, torn between rage and despair, between the desire to fight and the need to protect. He wants to smash the world apart, to rip the nuns limb from limb, to make them pay for what they've done to her. And yet, he knows it's futile. In this place, there is no justice, no mercy, no hope. Only pain and loss and endless darkness.
lashes echo through the room, ten, twenty, thirty. Y/n stands crying, her bottom angry and bleeding. ugly welts spread down her thighs and up her back.
Kit watches in mute horror as Sister Jude lays into Y/n with merciless force, each lash sending waves of agony crashing through her frail body. Every strike is like a bullet piercing his own soul, tearing open old wounds and exposing raw nerve endings he'd rather forget. He wants to help her, to hold her, to make it all go away. But he can do none of those things, trapped as he is in this nightmare beyond nightmares.
By the time the nun reaches forty, Kit can hardly bear it. His vision blurs, his breath comes in ragged gasps, and his palms are slick with sweat. But still he sits there, transfixed by the sheer brutality of it all, unable to look away, unable to intervene. It's like he's caught in a nightmare from which there is no escape, trapped in a world where pain and suffering are the norm, and kindness is a foreign concept.
And then, suddenly, it's over. Sister Jude stops after delivering fifty lashes, letting the silence settle over the room like a heavy blanket. Y/n slumps forward, her body wracked with sobs, blood staining the once-white fabric of her dress. Kit stares at her, his heart breaking into a million tiny pieces, knowing that it was all his fault. knowing that this was meant to inflict punishment on him, through her.
"you may go to her" The Nun mutters and Kit finally rushes over to Y/n and takes her in his arms.
Kit's entire world narrows down to the feeling of Y/n's body pressed against his, her broken sobs rattling his chest like a storm. He cradles her gently, stroking her hair and whispering soothing nonsense into her ear, hoping to offer some measure of comfort in the aftermath of her torture.
He doesn't know how long they stay there, wrapped up in each other's arms like two lost souls adrift in a sea of darkness. Maybe minutes, maybe hours. Time loses all meaning in the face of such overwhelming pain and trauma. All Kit knows is that he needs to protect her, to shield her from the horrors of this place as best he can.
Eventually, though, he knows they can't stay here forever. They need to find a way out, to escape this cursed institution and find some semblance of safety and peace. He looks up at Sister Jude, fury boiling up within him like a tempest. "You'll regret this," he snarls, venom dripping from every word. "Mark my words, one day you'll pay for what you've done."
The nun simply smiles, though, unfazed by his threats. "We'll see about that," she says coolly, turning on her heel and striding out into the halls of the asylum.
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