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aladaylessecondblog · 5 months

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why does the sea rush to shore (enver gortash x good tav)

TW: Sad, Astarion and Halsin have died bloody Orin-related deaths and Tav has made a decision to avoid that heartbreak ever again. Tav briefly considers jumping off a bridge.

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It felt fitting for the netherstone to be set in a choker around her neck.

Two attendants fussed about the dress, chattering away about the lace and the pearls, but Tav's mind was a thousand miles away.

She had imagined this day several times before. The dress, the veil, perhaps a few jewels. Her pale elf's look of awe, even, as she walked down the aisle toward him. Halsin, somewhere nearby, looking with his own contentment. A faceless priest, waiting to begin the vows. Above all she had pictured herself happy and smiling.

But today, her wedding day, she was the opposite. Oh, she kept her expression twisted into something similar, thanked the attendants as they helped her with the finishing touches, and fussed about small details like her gloves, but all she could think was that she would rather be anywhere else.

She imagined her waiting groom, pleased that he had managed to snare a hero of the people. That he would be able to maintain power and retain his status as Archduke.

Tav looked into the mirror and forced back her tears.

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Astarion was staked directly into the ground.

"No...no...please be alive, please be--"

Cold and dead. For real, this time, with his blood spread in a wide puddle beneath him. Not five feet away was Halsin--or rather, his wildshaped bearskin hide, skinned from his bloody carcass which itself lay nearby in a puddle of its own.

Lae'zel stood before them both, and then turned in Tav's direction. A second later she shifted--

"Oh, oh oh, you're just in time to see!" Orin laughed, "Your gith, your spawn, and your bear! Well. Your rug now..."

Tav heard no more. Her heart was pounding in her ears as she looked between Astarion and Halsin, remembering the former's request to join her on her last excursion to Baldur's Gate.

How she had said no, that she would see him when she returned...and that in the evening she'd let him feed from her.

(He'd liked that idea.)

The next second she was roaring--wildshaping into an owlbear and tearing forward to slash and rip at Orin.

The woman would not die, and so much the better.

"Stop!" Shadowheart had called, just before Tav reached back to give what would have been a killing blow. "Don't kill her. And not because I think she deserves to live."

Silence.

"I can think of a much better punishment for her than mere death."

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There was the sudden sound of a door opening, and in walked Karlach. Wyll, in his Grand Duke regalia, followed closely behind.

Tav looked up at Karlach, who was dressed in a gown of green satin, with a ruby necklace that held the third netherstone at its center.

"You know, soldier, it's not too late to back out," she said in a sad tone, once the attendants had been shooed out. "You deserve better than Gortash. You could have someone good, you know. Someone you could actually love."

"I'm--" Tav took a shaky breathed, and gulped, "I'm not interested in love, Karlach, but...thank you."

The thought of her smarmy vampire and cuddly bear returned. The way she had slept between them on a few nights, warm and utterly content; with arms wrapped around Astarion and Halsin's own around her.

Then the image changed, and she saw their bodies. Astarion, bloodless, limp...eyes staring at nothing. Halsin, skinned, his bloody pelt on the ground.

That image was still agony, a constant pain in her mind she almost wanted kept fresh. Because for it to feel anything less than torturous was--it didn't feel right. It felt like she was betraying them, to think of their deaths and NOT feel that pain along with it.

Wyll offered his arm--as he would be giving her away--and Tav took it as Karlach helped her to get the lengthy bridal train out the door.

"I never want to be in love again."

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"My condolences."

Tav was still reeling, and she knew better than to show that pain before Gortash of all people, but she couldn't help herself. She had barely slept in the past few days, too afraid of her mind surprising her in the morning.

She didn't want to wake up, sleepily reach for either Astarion or Halsin, and then be stabbed in the heart again.

"Don't give me that," Tav said bitterly, "You probably ordered it yourself. Don't try to piss on my leg and tell me it's raining."

"So vulgar," Gortash mused, "I didn't tell Orin to hit your camp. She does what she wants, that one. A mad dog off the leash..."

"Even more so now."

"You didn't kill her?" Gortash looked surprised, but that look soon faded. "Of course you didn't. You're too tender-hearted to--"

"We're not killing her, but she's going to wish we did," Tav's voice turned icy.

"She's into blood, you know."

"We don't need to shed any." She shut her eyes for a few moments, indulging in the pain-rimmed emptiness that her heart had sunk into. It was a searing void she wanted to share. "Darkness. Silence. An empty box. By the time we're done with her, she won't even remember who she is."

"You ARE full of surprises," he half-laughed and gave her a look she couldn't quite identify. "I didn't call you here to talk about Orin though...at least not in more than a passing way. I called you here to bargain."

"I've already agreed to ally to you. Seems like you're wasting my time and your own."

"Yes, but you have two netherstones. I have one. Things are a bit uneven...and I'd like to keep my head."

"And your power."

"You know me so well." Gortash smirked. "Now, I know you're more than capable of rolling in and mopping up me, the Steel Watch, the Flaming Fists, and any other guards who get in your way...but that would create more problems than it would solve, especially for the innocent. And you're more useful to this city as a hero than as a villain, don't you think?"

"Get to the point."

"The city sees me as its protector. Your reputation is similar, but in a more heroic vein. I propose we remain allies. That you and another person of your choosing join me in continuing to manipulate the elder brain to all our benefits. If control is not regained, and SOON, there will be a lot more problems for you to deal with than just me. Like losing your soul for example."

"If you think I'm unprotected--"

"The ace up your sleeve will only last so long. Whatever plane of existence you flee to, the tadpole WILL heed the call. Sooner, rather than later."

"You're just manipulating me."

"I'm sure this will come as a revelation, my dear Tav," Gortash spoke with the slightest of edges in his voice, "Everyone is manipulating you. Raphael was a devil and you're brighter than you look; you're lucky he was so obvious about it. That mindflayer you think is your friend--don't think I don't know about him. Even Astarion--"

"Don't you DARE say his name to me like--," Tav growled and clenched her fists.

"My point, Tav, is that everyone has plans they want you for, and none but myself will be honest with you about it. Take this lesson from it, if you take nothing else: there will always be someone ready to manipulate you, so you should look to see what you can get from them in turn. I cannot bring your lover back. But I can help you, and your friends."

"We can help ourselves. If you're done--" Tav was on the point of leaving, and got up from the table.

"Can you help Karlach's infernal engine from burning her to ashes?" Gortash's voice rang out as her hand was on the doorknob. When she stopped he spoke in a smug tone. "I thought that might interest you."

"You asshole, you're the one that did that to her in the first place!"

"Language, Tav. You're talking to an Archduke, after all. If you want to talk, you must learn to be more polite. Are you ready to listen?"

Trembling with rage, Tav sat back down.

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"This was really not necessary," Wyll said to Tav quietly as they walked up the streets. "Did he really have to make you walk so far?"

Flower petals were being scattered from what seemed like every window and by flower girls that walked before them, and every face Tav looked into was smiling. It was a short enough walk, meant to display the Archduke's heroic drow bride to his people.

From the Open Hand Temple to Wyrm's Rock Fortress she was walking, through a crowd of people who felt all the joy for her that she could not feel for herself.

Somewhere in the distance, bells were ringing...

You should smile, darling, you make such a beautiful bride.

Astarion's voice sounded off, as if he were right next to her. She gulped.

"He thought it might be good for the people to have something to celebrate, after all of the...problems...with the Absolute. A public wedding, a grand feast, good times after so much war and strife..."

"War and strife he and his ilk were responsible for," Wyll grumbled.

Tav didn't answer that question, but instead changed the subject. "Yet here they are, still praising his name. The people are eager to forget hardship..."

"As are you, I imagine."

"I don't want to forget anything," Tav said quickly, "I'm not doing this to forget. I'm doing it to benefit the people."

"And how exactly does this benefit them?" Wyll asked, "A miserable bride marrying a man she cares nothing for, who hides his true evil nature. I doubt that could benefit very many people at all. And I thought Ilmater expected his followers to stand up to tyrants? Surely Silvanus would not want you to do this either?"

"Persevere in the face of pain. Heal the sick, the wounded, and the diseased. Comfort the dying, the griefstricken, and the heartsick. Take on the burdens and the pain of others. Champion the causes of the oppressed and unjustly treated, and give shelter and kind counsel to the lonely, the lost, and the mined. Pursue the service of Ilmater, and he will provide," Tav said in the same low tone.

"Leave gross riches and the acquisition of all but medicines to others," Wyll challenged, "I've learned of Ilmater's rules too, you know. This would certainly not please him."

"Take up the tasks no others dare," Tav added in a defeated tone. "I don't want this, but I can do much more good as his wife than not."

Wyll seemed resigned. "You shouldn't have to do this. It's giving up too much--and that's coming from a man who knows."

Tav took a shaky breath.

"I know you mean well, Wyll, but...I've already lost everything. There's nothing this can take from me that's not already gone."

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"You PIGS!"

Mizora raged and cursed and fought, but there was no escaping her confines.

"My best work yet," came Balthazar's pleased voice, "Really, I should be thanking you for the opportunities you've sent my way."

"And the soul cage will hold her?"

"If it held Aylin, it can hold this one," Balthazar replied, "The only thing now is to test out its limits."

He looked at Karlach, by now smoking and steaming constantly.

The flames burned, hotter and hotter over the next several hours, and Tav followed her to the (empty) next room, where the fire rose and spread--

Tav gave a distressed yelp as Karlach slumped in the stone chair, burning alive. She was down, down and out, dead, gone...

...and then, suddenly, she wasn't.

Right before Tav's eyes, the damage was reversed, fixed right up...and Karlach sat up again.

"Well I'll be damned, the bastard wasn't lying. I..." Karlach seemed almost too incredulous to be happy, "...I'm still alive!"

Tav gave the tall tiefling a tight hug, and with a shaky voice added, "You're going to be alright after all."

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She could see Gortash now on the bridge, showing the false smile of an eager groom ready to wed his coming bride. When their eyes met it widened further, though she could see the victory in his eyes just as easily.

He was happy that he was getting this out of her, but he was more importantly displaying to all of Baldur's Gate who could see that he was happy with his choice of bride.

That was almost the worst part of it. That he could fake something so easily, and even more so that everyone around him could be fooled by it. Was she really the only one to notice? Was she the only one that would EVER see it? Perhaps not. Perhaps others knew and simply, like her, chose to say nothing for reasons of their own.

She considered simply jumping off the bridge, going to join Astarion and Halsin in the City of Judgment.

But then she considered the talk of the devils there...there were varying and conflicting ideas about what would take place. But several accounts mentioned devils willing to make deals.

That would send her to the Hells...

I am already in Hell, Tav thought, No need to add flames or physical torture to it too.

Halsin's voice popped into her head.

You have far too much good to offer to dash yourself to bits on the rocks to be food for the gulls. No matter what you may feel, death is an end to your ability to help those in need of you, my heart.

Astarion's voice joined alongside.

I'm so proud of you, kitten. You've schemed your way so high...now if only I were beside you, you would find your rule to be utter perfection. Alas...we can't have everything we want.

Her legs felt momentarily weak but she leaned against Wyll to buoy herself.

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"So, you're back. I presume my plan worked?" Gortash spoke in an easy tone that showed he already knew the answer.

"It did," Tav replied quietly. "You've given your token of good faith. Now tell me the rest of your...plan."

She didn't believe him in the slightest, but saving Karlach would be worth sitting through a session of listening to his nonsense.

"It's fairly simple," Gortash replied with a gesture, "You, and whomever the third stone was given to--"

"Karlach," Tav said quickly.

"Truly? Well, I did say someone of your choosing...and I imagine you picked her simply to have someone who despises me."

"Someone over whom you have no hold. Someone under no obligation to you."

"Which you consider yourself under."

She refused to answer.

She didn't have to.

Gortash went on succinctly, "Your hand in marriage."

Tav jerked back, and nearly fell out of her chair. She scrambled back up and practically shrieked, "Absolutely NOT! No. No. NO. A thousand times--"

"At least you didn't laugh."

"And what possible reason--what--no--first of all, WHY?"

"Because it would solve a lot of my problems," Gortash poured out two glasses of wine. "You would not believe the number of ladies I have at court, angling for my hand. Batting their eyelashes at me, hoping and praying to be the one to catch my eye."

"I should think that would make you HAPPY, that so many women want you. They would volunteer for--for what you're asking me."

"I have no patience for their pettiness, and what they have to offer, I could already get on my own. I want an end to the requests by fathers for me to consider their daughters as brides. An end to the scheming mothers who think mere compromises could sway me."

"The price you pay for relevance."

"I am a man made to rule. As much as you might think otherwise I am not fond of romance. You would have far greater freedom than you would as any other man's bride, to be quite honest. In fact, I would expect it."

"What?"

Not that she was entertaining the idea. Not for a second.

"You're a hero, the talk of the town. You--and your friends, of course, but primarily you, in their eyes--stopped the evil Ketheric Thorm and his shadow curse. Saved that druid grove, laid waste to a large chunk of the army of the Absolute..."

He smirked.

"...and have at great risk to your personal reputation, done everything possible to help those refugees no one here wants. You have been a better exemplar of the God on the Rack's ideals than those hypocritical clerics at the temple of the Open Hand. Though I suppose if someone killed one of my men, I might be equally as--"

"Get to the point."

"You would be good for my reputation," he replied, "Your love for the plant and animal life, the charity your tender heart leads you to. All you lack is a title and steady coin to do that oh-so-generous work. And those I can give you."

Tav opened her mouth to reply, but found she had nothing to say.

"I have no patience for such things in any case. The masses would like someone closer to their level...one who has known difficulty and struggle. Pain and strife."

Again, nothing.

"Really, the terms are rather generous. A few parties on my arm, societal obligations..."

Marital duties, Tav thought sourly. She could see he was thinking it. But that desire was secondary to his desire for power. He seemed the type to seek it only for stress relief, not the carnal eagerness Astarion had once shown, or the wild desire that Halsin had.

At least there was that mercy.

If she accepted this offer, he would be like neither of her beloveds.

If...

"...and in return, the ability to continue doing the good you're always so eager to do."

"Which will naturally make you look like a wonderful leader."

"The great Lord Gortash, defender of the city, and you...the lady of charity and healing. After all that has happened, the city is ripe for someone like you. How much better if we work together. The people would simply love the story - their mighty lord smitten with a defender of the people."

"A--a loveless marriage, though, in the end." Tav stumbled on her words and went quiet.

"Indeed. I don't love you, and you don't love me, but I'm certain you're capable of showing that you feel the opposite...and frankly, it's better there be no love between us. Would you really want to repeat that sorry scene you described to me, should an assassin succeed against me?"

Do you want to feel that pain again? Tav thought. A stab of grief pierced her heart. The image of Astarion and Halsin, bloody on the ground. No. No. Never again. I never want to feel that way, EVER again.

After a long pause to discuss the terms of the rest of this little deal as they pertained to Karlach and the agreement that would be made between the three of them, he went back to the topic.

"I do require an answer rather soon, you know."

Images of herself with Astarion, with Halsin, with both of them, passed through her mind in a rush. Safe and close, cuddling, loving...

"Fine."

"Give a proper answer, if you please."

Say the words, his expression told her. I want to hear them.

"I will accept your proposal," Tav replied, "And--I will marry you."

The smirk that spread across Gortash's face then was absolutely heinous.

He produced a short length of copper wire, and gestured.

"Give me the nether stone."

When she blanched, he set his other hand on the table; his own netherstone was now within easy reach.

"I thought I might give you a gift."

Keeping both hands on the table, ready to move forward and stop him if he tried anything, Tav waited.

Gortash wrapped her netherstone in the copper wire, and then reached into his pocket for what looked like a strange strip of black velvet with a clasp. With the remaining wire he bound the stone up to the velvet.

"I am not a jeweler," he said, standing once he was done, and leading her (despite her reluctance) to a mirror in the corner of the room. On arrival he brought the necklace up, and fastened the clasp behind her neck, then let his hands rest on her shoulders. "But I think it suits you."

Inwardly, Tav quailed.

Outwardly, she said quietly, "It does, doesn't it."

"I knew you'd see things my way."

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Tav's hands were joined with Gortash's, and the priest spoke the words to begin her binding to this despicable man.

She repeated her part of the vows stiffly, but managed to keep her false smile as she spoke them.

I hate him. I hate him so much.

But when the ceremony concluded, when her lips touched his, when the faint but rich taste of the wine he'd no doubt drunk crossed her tongue, it also occurred to her that she was lucky.

Because to marry a man she hated meant she would never mourn him as she had Astarion and Halsin.

It was a pain she need never feel again.

"People of Baldur's Gate!" she heard her new husband call out, "May I present to you, Duchess Gortash!"

The cheer that went up did nothing to fill Tav's hollow heart.