#katniss: i want to be pregnant with his child does that mean he’s my friend?

[littlerosette]

every so often i remember that katniss canonically dreamt of having peeta’s kid and then woke up the next morning feeling happy. in the quarter quell. she’s insane

[everlarkficexchange]

Magic as Always

Written by: @alliswell21

Prompt 71: Magic of Ordinary Days AU: 1940s, Katniss is a single pregnant girl. Desperate for her daughter not to have a child out of wedlock, Mrs Everdeen contacts a priest who in turn knows a young man who just may be willing to help. Sweet, kind and shy Peeta stayed home to take care of the family farm when his beloved brother went to war to never come back. He’s always wanted a family but rural small town life gives little chance to court. He hears of Katniss’ plight and graciously offers to marry her and raise the child as his own. He does everything he can think of to make a home for Katniss and the baby. How does Katniss take it? How does their relationship develop? Will they fall in love? [submitted by anonymous]

Rating: this chapter is rated Teens and Up  

Tags: Historical!AU; WWII; 1940’s Era views on marriage, sexism, pregnancy, etc; Katniss/Marvel relationship; Non-graphic Unprotected Sex; Unplanned Pregnancy; Arrange Marriage; Miscellaneous Religious views; Grief/Mourning; Canon Characters Death; OOC!Mrs.Everdeen; Somewhat OOC!Katniss; Everlark is Endgame; Other tags to be added.

Notes: Thank you Anon for this prompt. I must confess, I’ve never seen the movie ‘The Magic of Ordinary Days’ or read the book the movie is based on. I did a quick skimming on the plot of the movie and then dug up all kinds of reviews on the book, most of my plot points come from a combination of movie and book (which apparently differ only in a few parts), besides what the prompter asked for. I just really loved this prompt, and see the potential of this story, which will be a few chapters long, cross posted to AO3 and I already have a good chunk written ;) The rating will be adjusted too, because there will be explicit Everlark smut in the following chapters. Anon, I hope I don’t disappoint you, this story will be only loosely based on the source material, and adapted to fit THG characters in the narrative, I will try to stick to the main plot points as much as I can, but I’m also taking several liberties with the story. I hope you still like it though. 

KPKPKPKPKPKPKPKP

Prim died on a Tuesday, after a very long, strenuous battle with poliomyelitis. My sweet little sister’s face looked as fresh as a dew drop even in death. 

  “Come now, Katniss,” my mother calls from the open door of the mortuary hall, where visitation took place an hour ago. 

  The mortician has arranged for the coffin to be taken to the cemetery and put in the ground this afternoon. There will be no graveside mourning. It’s all we could pay for, but then again the war has left everyone penniless nowadays.

  A big, rotund man comes to close the coffin, and offers a curt nod. 

  That’s it then. The very last time I’ll ever set eyes on Primrose’s sweet face. 

  “Katniss,” Mother whispers, insistently. It’s probably all she can muster before breaking down in tears.

  I look on at the box my sister’s body lies in, numb and heartsick. I bring my 3 middle fingers to my lips and then rise them in the air. My last salute to my beloved Little Duck. I step away from the coffin and shuffle towards mother. 

  Up close, I can see the deep, dark bruises under my mother’s eyes. She used to be beautiful in her youth— according to friends and old photographs— but now she just looks tired and defeated. I guess having to bury first her husband and then her 15 year old daughter, in less than a year, would have that effect on anyone.

  Prim would’ve looked like our mother, with their soft blonde locks, almond shaped blue eyes and alabaster skin. She had a softer spirit though, she enjoyed music and loved animals. She always said that if she was older, she would’ve joined the Red Cross and signed up to serve as a nurse to our boys in the Pacific, like Father did… Father wasn’t a nurse though, he was a chaplain. 

  It’s funny to think that I inherited so much of my father, like my dark hair, gray eyes and olive skin. We both also share the same aversion to human pain and blood that moves my mother and Prim to action; but unlike Prim, my father’s calling to help the soldiers in their worst situations, passed me and went directly to my baby sister. 

  I sigh… Prim would’ve made a terrific army nurse, if only she hadn’t wasted in bed with that odious disease! If she had been given the chance to live, I’m sure Prim would’ve had so many boys trailing after her. She would marry at some point and have a beautiful full life. 

  I don’t plan on marrying and having a family. If the acute pain in my own chest wasn’t enough warning,  watching my mother walk silently from the funeral home to our apartment, with her head bowed and listening to her quiet sobs at night would be enough evidence that there’s too much sorrow in losing one’s husband and children. 

  I think my efforts will be better spent in cultivating my mind, and getting my degree in botany, like my father always dreamed, anyway… plus, I’m not much of a looker… not like Prim at any rate. 

  We finally arrived at our modest home. Mother drifts ghost-like into the door, and then we both shuffle quietly into our separate bedrooms. There won’t be a meal at the table tonight, but I make sure Prim’s old tomcat gets fed and watered, and after he meows in distress at my sister’s door, I open mine, and let him strut inside my bedroom and hop into my bed. The hideous fur ball and I distrust each other, but he understands his mistress is never coming back, and he’s the last thing I have from her… so he lets me pet him and he cuddles close to my chest as I fall asleep, crying. 

——————————-

Mother and I walk slowly through the busy streets of town, mostly ignoring the bustle and disarray around us. People shout, cars honk horns, a baby cries in the distance, and the few young men rush back and forth in the busy sidewalks, like they’re being lashed by invisible whips.

  “We should stop by the grocer and see if we can pick up some eggs.” Says my mother, pulling her “Sugar Book” out of her handbag. 

  Because of the war, everything is being rationed, from sugar to shoes.

  I could care less about food and clothing, though. But I still go into the shop, dutifully. 

  I’m so immersed in my own thoughts, I don’t see the lanky man walking towards me with his arms full of vittles. 

  We collide. The man’s groceries fly up in every direction, raining over me, as I sit on my rump on the floor. 

  My mother is nowhere to be seen. Typical.

  “I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you there!” Says the man, pulling a packet of oatmeal from the floor, while extending his other hand to help me up. 

  “No… it’s alright, I wasn’t looking where I was going.”

  “Well, let’s agree that we’re both klutzes, and leave it at that?” The man offers.

  I’m on my feet, dusting my skirt off and righting my blouse, “Sure, let’s do that.” I scowl at the skew state of my clothes and finally look up at the man. 

  He’s smiling down at me, and I must admit, his smile is dazzling. He’s got short brown hair, greenish-brown eyes, and a smattering of freckles over his nose. He also towers above me. 

  “My stars! If it isn’t Katniss Everdeen!” The young man says, unexpectedly excited.

  I blink owlishly at him, and try to place his face, but I’m horrible at remembering people. Or their names. 

  “Marvel Quaid,” he offers genially, unfazed by my lack of response, “we went to grade school together?” He prompts, “My pa used to sell luxury goods in District One?”

  “Oh, I think it’s coming back now,” I say smiling for the first time in what feels like months. “You used to throw sticks, pretending they were spears or something,” I tell him, showing that indeed, I do remember him.

  Marvel scrunches his nose, “Javelins, actually. I was pretending I threw javelins. I saw a fellow doing it for the Olympics in a film, and then he won a medal for it. I thought to myself that making a victory lap with the good old American flag flapping after oneself looked like fun; well, I wanted to be a victor too!” He chuckles, then deflates. “But as everything, those dreams are gone now, crushed to dust under the weight of the war.”

  As is the norm, once the war gets brought up, gloominess settles on, dampening the cheeriest of spirits.

  “I’m sorry,” I say. “I’m all too familiar with the sentiment.”

  Marvel nods, grimly. 

  “We lost Father in France.” I’m not sure why I said it. “We put my sister in the ground last week, too.” I avert my eyes. 

  “Aww, geez, Kit… that’s truly awful. I’m so sorry for your loss,”

  I’m mildly surprised I don’t immediately recoil at his little pet name. I guess the fact that he doesn’t sound condescending while delivering his condolences, helps. 

  “Oh, well, as my father would’ve said, at least their toils in this world are over. They can finally rest in peace.”

  After a moment of heavy silence, Marvel shares, “I’m being shipped out tomorrow morning.”

  I scowl, “Oh,” I bite the inside of my cheek, wondering how he’d manage to evade the draft for this long? Marvel is my age, 19 going on 20… boys get sent to the front lines at 18. “I… I could write to you… if you wanted?” I offer shyly. 

  Isn’t that what young women are being told to do, in order to keep our boys’ morale from plummeting?  

  Marvel grins, showing slightly crooked teeth, “That would be swell, Kit!” He stares at me for a long moment, then sighs, “I should go back to my shopping, before they miss me at home. Lord knows when will I have the chance of doing something as mundane as picking up my mother’s weekly grocery allowance.”

  These days it is not only uncommon seeing men doing grocery runs, but simply seeing young, able-body men around, period. All of our boys are either in Europe or the Pacific, fighting to keep the devastation of the World war from reaching our shores.

  “Well, for what is worth, I hope you get to return home safely… you know, so you can do all the boring tasks your mother tells you to do. And when I say safe, I mean, I hope you don’t run anymore into spaced out girls, like me,” I smirk. 

  “Oh, Kit, if only you knew how much I’ve enjoyed our accidental skirmish. It’s like a gift from above, seeing you after all these years. Your smile and the color of your eyes will forever be branded in my mind, to give me a reason to fight. To have a dream,”

  I’m momentarily floored by Marvel’s florid little speech. Nobody has ever said anything nearly as sweet and gallant as that to me, and for a moment, I forget all about my dead sister and father, the war, and my own sorrow. 

  I avert my eyes, bashfully, as he finishes picking up his vittles off the floor.

  “That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me,” I lean over to pick up a can of milk, and put it on top of his pile. 

  “I only speak the truth,” he smiles brightly. 

  My mother chooses to interrupt at the exact moment I bat my lashes at him, “Katniss, there you are! I’ve been waiting for you by the counter.” She shakes her head. 

  Marvel wobbles on his feet, rearranging his load, and then greets my mother, warmly, “Mrs. Everdeen, how nice to see you again,” 

  My mother eyes him, unimpressed. “Good afternoon, young man,” she answers. 

  “Ma’am… pardon my forwardness, but, would it be too troublesome to ask Miss Katniss to accompany a soldier about to be shipped out, to supper in the town?” 

  My mother narrows her eyes, distrust dripping from her voice as she speaks, “I’m not so sure that’s a good idea. My daughter and I are in mourning, you see,”

  “Oh, this won’t be an untoward celebration of any kind, ma’am. With the war raging on, we’re all in mourning. All I ask for is one last night of normalcy, a chance to reconnect with an old grade-school mate,” he smiles, hopefully, “For old times sake?” 

  I’m watching my mother’s face closely, with bated breath.

  “Very well,” Mother sighs, “You may ask Katniss out to dinner. But have her home by 9 sharp!”  

  I don’t hesitate to step up and give him directions to my apartment building in District 12. 

  I spend the rest of my day giddy and nervous, pressing my best Sunday suit, the gray one with the matching jacket, and polishing my only pair of leather shoes. There isn’t much I can do about my hair… the thing can’t be fashioned into the favored waves, not even putting it in curlers overnight, so I let it be. 

  I briefly wonder if this was all Prim’s doing? Meeting Marvel and mother’s somewhat easy aquiciscent. Prim hated seeing me sad, and constantly talked about how she’d love to help me get ready for dates with a beau. She couldn’t wait to be of courting age and date a strapping, young man herself… but of course, that would never happen for her, but she would probably still want to see me have those things. 

  Maybe Marvel is right, and our serendipitous encounter is a gift from above, to heal our wounds… at least for the night. 

  ————————-

  Marvel arrives at my house in his father’s car at 5:45. Riding is now such a luxury, with gasoline being rationed and all. He takes me to a quaint little dinner in the middle of town. We share malts, a greasy burger, and a small portion of fries and onion rings. 

  We talk about baseball:

  “You’d look good in a baseball uniform, Kit! Can you still run as fast as you did in school?” 

  I laugh. “I’m not much for sports,” I demure, “but I’ve heard playing in one of the new teams pays alright. Anyway, I’m gonna be starting my second year of college soon. I put my studies on hold while Prim was at her worst, but now that it’s only just me and mother… I’m anxious to go back to study.”

  “Wow, beautiful and smart!”

  We talk about cars:

  “I loved driving… but Mother sold our car when my sister took a turn for the worse. She didn’t want to at first, saying that Father saved up to buy it, and it held sentimental value to her, but I had to push to sell it. We needed the money and gas was a nightmare to come by, anyway,”

  “The only reason we still have ours,” says Marvel, “is because Pa is too stubborn to let go of the things that still made him feel wealthy.” He scowls, “He’s trying to get into the ice business now, since it’s pretty much the only thing one where the raw material is plenty and relatively cheap, and there’s guarantee that people will buy the product… everyone still needs ice for their ice boxes, right?” 

  No one can afford luxuries anymore with every penny going out to support our boys in the battlefields.

  We talk about many other subjects: his sister’s wedding; my father’s unit getting pinned and killed by Germans… We didn’t get a body to bury, but I got a medal on his behalf as his eldest child. 

  Marvel lets me sniffle against his chest, and then kisses my lips slowly. 

  I’ve never been kissed on the lips, and I feel my face heat up. 

  “Would you… like to take a drive with me, Kit?”

  We drive all the way to the city limit. It’s exhilarating to be in a car again, and sitting at the overlook, at twilight,  alone with a handsome boy, feels positively forbidden! 

  I’ve never done anything remotely injudicious all my life, and this whole moment feels… magical… exciting! 

  Tentatively, I initiated our next kiss, but he takes over in a rush of caresses and flitting touches. 

  “Beautiful, graceful, Kit. You have no match!”

  “Marvel…” I kiss him again, not knowing how to answer his sentiments with words.

  His hands are restless, groping my shoulders and elbows. “I wished he had more time! I would’ve loved to marry you before departing. I would’ve show you so much passion and love!”

  “You still can show me, Marvel… you absolutely can!” 

  It’s all the permission he needs to dive into a frenzy. He doesn’t stop until the deed is done, and we’re a sweaty, tangled mess of limbs in the back seat of the car, only partially clothed. 

  A deep feeling of lethargy pours over me. My muscles are sore and heavy, and wished I could fall asleep in here. 

  “I intend on coming back to marry you, Katniss,” Marvel says, stretching his lanky, long legs to zip up his pants. 

  I sit up and start finger-combing my ruined hair, hoping my mother won’t notice the strands are extra frizzy. “Um… I guess we should after this,” I say shyly, gesturing between us. 

  “You could still go to college while I’m away,” he offers with magnanimity.

  “You… wouldn’t mind that?” I ask incredulous, college women are so rare, unless they’re trying to become nurses or teachers. Most girls start courting right after high school and get married in the span of one to two years, and their husbands don’t normally encourage an education beyond what their wives came into the marriage with; so to hear Marvel say that wouldn’t mi d me stay in college is just about the greatest thing possible!

  “My darling, Kit, I don’t want you to be one of those girls pining and wasting away for her beau. I’ll be busy at war, it’ll be unfair to keep you from occupying your own time while you wait fir my return. Go to college, my clever girl!”

  I smile indulgently at him, leaning closer to slip his necktie around the collar of his shirt, “You are truly a generous, loving man,” I say.

  Marvel beams, circling my waist with his arms pulling me against his body. “It’s all inspired by you, sugar plum!”

  I giggle, kissing his cheek, “I’ll write to you every day!” I promise. 

  “That’s nice… but just so you know, I might not be able to write back right away. It’ll be a while before I get settled enough to write. But you’ll be in my thoughts every minute of every day, and that’s the honest truth! I’m serious about marrying you when I return, Kit,” he kisses me again. And then, he looks at his watch, sighing. “It’s 8:32. We should get on going, gotta keep in my future mother-in-law’s good graces!” 

  We share a carefree laugh, and finish tidying ourselves up to drive back to my house. 

  He walks me to the door, takes me in his arms, and kisses me passionately before promising he’d be back to officially ask for my hand in marriage, and for my part, I swear I’ll write to him every day until he returns home safe and sound. 

  But neither of us keeps our promises in the end, although I tried. 

  ————————-

  Three weeks go by and I keep my word of writing daily letters. I receive no word in return from Marvel, but think nothing of it… Europe is far and traveling by sea is tedious and time consuming; Marvel will get in touch once he’s settled down. 

  Another week goes by, still without news from my would-be fiancé. I still don’t worry. I’ve been busy with university, and the few other girls attending school with me keep me busy, but my heavier workload is starting to get to me.

  I’m usually so tired and moody after school that socializing with my classmates becomes a chore. I barely eat supper before I’m passing out in bed, and my letters to Marvel start to get shorter and simpler with every passing day.

  I skip writing one afternoon altogether, and take a long nap. Buttercup— Prim’s ugly cat— perches on my bed like a sentinel to watch me sleep. I believe he’s worried about me… stupid, clingy cat thinks I’m sick.

  But the feline’s intuition proves right, because just two days later, I shoot out of bed and run into the washroom to spill every last ounce of last night supper into the toilet. I must’ve caught a bug or something! 

  I feel queasy and lightheaded every morning after. My appetite wanes and it seems my delicate stomach can only tolerate pears, and broth. 

  I visit the post office to place out my letters to Marvel almost everyday; Every time I come, the nice old mailman comments on how sweet it is to see all the young-uns holding romance strong. Marvel has yet to respond to one of my letters, so I just smile tightly and demure. 

  I’ve been thinking though; the longer I go without news of my supposed future husband, and despite the whirlwind night of romance with him, I start questioning my actions, my promises. I never wanted to marry before, and suddenly I was okay getting a hasty, unofficial engagement with a virtual stranger, I barely remember from grade school… maybe it’s better if Marvel never writes. 

  My plans on earning a college degree and finding a well paying job will go unencumbered— I’m aware women in prominent working professions are as rare as snow in July, but women’s presence in the working forces keep growing as industries need laborers to keep up producing while the men fight in the war. Educated women are almost becoming less rare. 

  At the two month mark since I last saw Marvel, I become weepier than usual… is to be expected in my opinion; Prim’s been gone for a little over two months and she was the only person I knew I loved. But now I’m worrying about my health on top of everything.

  One morning, while I’m kneeling on the cold, hard floor in front of the toilet, feeling miserable and tired, my mother calls my name from the open door.

  “Katniss, I think it’s time to get a test.” She states evenly, and then enters the room to fetch a damp washcloth to wipe my face clean. “I hope I’m wrong, but I’m afraid you may be with child,” she sighs. 

  I squirm. “No,” I gasp. “I— I can’t be with child. I just can’t!” But the thought has crossed my mind a few times already. “It’s not supposed to be this way!”

  “I know, child,” My mother pats my head, “there’s only one way to know. Get dressed for the day, I will call the most discreet physician I know, and have him pay us a visit.” 

  ————————-

  Doctor Aurelius— a physician my mother has helped deliver babies and treat maladies with— confirms the pregnancy with a grim face. 

  I sit at my kitchen table numb and despondent. My mother writes a check to the doctor for his services, while talking in no so hush tones in the other room. I listen to their whole conversation, as if submerged in water.

  “I blame myself for this, doctor. I should have kept a closer eye on her,” 

  “Don’t blame yourself Ms. Everdeen, it’s that war business bringing out all sorts of evil into the world! It’s unfortunate the rise of these cases in our community. Young ladies— from good families!— engaging in acts ought to be saved for marriage. Youth do things without thinking, guided by fear. Our boys fear they may not return from that senseless, awful war, and settle down properly, and I don’t blame them one little bit.”

  “The only solace I have right now, is that my poor husband is not here to see the shame that’s fallen over our family,”

  “I understand the sentiment, ma’am. There’s no telling how Preacher Everdeen would’ve taken this blow. But I’m sure things will work out as soon as young Katniss hears from the father…” 

  I dissolve into silent tears then. My mother escorts the doctor to the door and then there’s silence. 

  My pinky finger curls into the soft fabric of the table cloth, and I try to ignore the urge to vomit boiling in my stomach. There’s one thought circling mi mind: my college days are over.

  ——————————-

“Ah! Miss Everdeen, I have something for you.” Says the mailman as soon as I reach the desk. He smiles, but rather sadly, like he’s about to give me bad news. 

  I’ve come to the post office with urgent letters every day for 6 days, and he’s never looked at me this way. 

  The old man digs around for a moment and almost reluctantly, passes a parcel tied up in twine. An envelope is attached to the top of the parcel, and with a sinking feeling, I realized it’s a stack of my own letters. 

  “It came in today, miss.” Says the man, voice laced with pity. “Sorry for your loss.” He says. 

  At first I don’t understand what he could possibly mean by that; he’s offered his sympathies fir my dead father and sister already; it makes absolutely no sense to repeat himself randomly after so long. 

  Then it hits me like a ton of bricks. 

  I gasp, and press the parcel to my chest. “Oh no! Marvel!” I whisper. I give the man a hasty wave, thanking him, and rush out of the post office like mad. 

  Tears run down my cheeks, while I dash home, imagining the worst. “Poor, Marvel!” Is all I can think.

  “Katniss, what’s wrong?” My mother calls, alarmed, when I rush to my bedroom, sobbing. She follows me in, and watches me tear into the envelope at the top of the stack. 

  I frown in confusion when I’m met with handwritten, chicken-scratch scrawl, instead of a formal missive typed in official US military stationary. 

  My scowl deepens as my eyes rove over the flowery vocabulary, and then I screech, “What?!” 

  “Katniss, what’s going on?” 

  I ignore my mother when she approaches to read over my shoulder; I step around her, shaking the piece of paper in my hands and stand by the window, as if sunlight will make the words change their meaning.

  I smooth the creases and folds on the page over, and read out loud, “Dearest Kit, sorry it took so long to write, it’s been a wild time since we arrived and finding time to correspond with everyone back home it’s been hard.

  “At times, your letters have been the sole source of light and hope in the darkness of this conflict. Is for that reason, and with a heavy heart, that I must come clean to you now. I truly meant it when I swore to come back and make you my wife, but as the Good Book says, the Lord works in mysterious ways, and love has sprouted out the most unlikely place! Kit, I’ve fallen in love and married a lovely gal here in England…”

  I stop reading. He goes on talking about the why and how, but I sincerely don’t care. 

  “That good for nothing, virtue dasher, future crushing… liar!” My mother bleats to the ceiling, raising her palms over her head, dramatically. 

  I’m angry too, of course. I feel used and disposed of like a dirty rag, but my mother’s reaction is borderline hilarious. Except, it isn’t. 

  I’m pregnant, unmarried, and soon— once my still flat stomach starts rounding— I’ll be socially ostracized for my condition. My only saving grace was the promise of marriage that bastard Marvel had given me. But that’s gone now. 

  “I knew that boy was bad news the second I laid eyes on him! He never even introduced himself to me, the little weasel! This is my fault. My fault! I should’ve never allowed you to run amok with the likes of him…”

  “Mother, will you please?” I nearly growl, gesturing at the open bedroom door.

  She stares at me uncomprehendingly for a moment, before pursing her lips in disapproval, and stalking out of the room muttering her aggravation under her breath. 

  I sink into my bed with Marvel’s stupid letter crumpling in my fist. A single, hot, angry tear rolls down my face, and for the first time since finding out of its existence, I hug my midsection and address my child, “I’m so sorry for dragging you into this mess. I know you didn’t ask for a mother like me, but I’m all you got now, little one. I promise we will be alright… I’ll try not to let you down.”

  ———————-

  My mother has been unbearable for the last two days. She cries in her room worse than when Prim died, and when she sees me, she starts lamenting my poor choice, like I’m not even standing there… as if I don’t feel discouraged enough. 

  I keep myself busy with my education. I will need to earn this diploma now more than ever before, and I need to do as much as I can before the baby arrives and my studies get put on hold. 

  In the meantime, I scout the newspapers for possible work options to sustain me and my mother. Our savings keep diminishing and the small stipend my mother got from the Army since my father passed away is becoming more insufficient by the day. 

  There’s a knock on the front door, and I push out my chair unhappy by the interruption. 

  “Afternoon Miss Katniss! Would you let your mother know she’s got a telephone call down in the lobby?” Says the building’s doorkeeper. 

  “Of course, thank you. She’ll be right down!”

  Telephones are yet another luxury we had to give up when moved to this small place after losing my father. 

  I go back to my job hunt, and my mother descends to the lobby, quickly. 

  She returns after only 10 minutes, almost running through the door, excitedly calling my name. Tears wet her face, but her smile is so blinding, even without knowing what sort of news she’s heard to cause her such joy, I stand from the table with nervous anticipation. 

  “Oh, Katniss! Katniss my dear daughter, you’re saved!” She exclaims, hugging me tightly. 

  I’m confused. I step away from her embrace, “What do you mean?” 

  “It’s the best thing possible ever, I tell you! The Lord has answered all of my prayers!”

  “This is all so exciting and all, mother, but… could you please share this great news already?” 

  My mother cups my face in her hands, and beams at me, “You need to pack your things, darling! Your father’s good friend, Reverend Undersee, has found a husband, and you are to wed, in three days time!”

  —————————

Reverend Undersee and his daughter, Madge, meet me and my mother at the rinky dink bus station, in the equally tiny town my mother has banished me to.

  “Katniss! How long has it been?” Says Madge, hugging me enthusiastically.

  I bite my tongue to keep the acidic retort of “not long enough!” to leave my mouth. 

  “Welcome to Panem,” says the reverend, soberly, shaking my mother’s hand in greeting.

  “Thank you, revered. We appreciate your hospitality and your understanding,” my mother responds, then gives me a pointed look and a wordless command. 

  I nod and mutter, “Thank you, sir. Madge,” 

  I scowl at a crack in the pavement, not feeling an iota of gratefulness for this charade! 

  Any man agreeing to this questionable union has to either be desperate, or be hiding terrible, ulterior motives to go along with all of this. Nobody in their right mind would willingly marry a girl pregnant with another man’s baby, and be happy about it… unless that’s the reason! 

  I shudder at the thought. 

  But it is a very real possibility that my intended is a simpleton, who can’t find a wife otherwise… or worse! It could be a man very advanced in age, looking for a supple, young body to leech off. Gross!

  My mother had been too excited about the news that a man offered to marry me (as if I asked for, or even wanted a husband!) to bother to ask his name. 

  Reverend Undersee coughs daintily, clears his throat, and starts, like he’s giving a lecture at the university. “It is our Christian duty to lend a helping hand to widows and orphans in their time of needs. Same way it’s our duty to keep the memory and honor of an old friend from being dragged into the mud.”

  I wince at the harsh words, and let my face fall lower, if that’s even possible. 

  “Well, it’s a good thing that we are all recipients of the abundant grace of the Lord, which covers multitude of faults, and it’s never hard to reach,” a deep, velvety, masculine voice cuts into my embarrassment. 

  I lift my eyes from the ground, to find a man striding confidently in our direction. He smiles kindly at me, his eyes fixed on my own, like I’m the only person still standing in the station.

  He finally cedes our staring contest, to take in the rest of the group.

  A knot forms in the pit of my stomach, because I recognize him from years past when my family used to visit this town, and I’m afraid I know exactly why he’s here. 

  “Good afternoon, all. I apologize for my tardiness, I had a last second detail to take care of before leaving the house,” he nods in our general direction, taking his hat off; a riot of ashy blonde curls falls onto his forehead, before bending forward to shake my mother’s hand, “I’m Peeta Mellark, at your service, ma’am. It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” 

  “Likewise, mister Mellark,” says my mother, her lips twitch tersely, “Widow Everdeen, and this here is my daughter Katniss… your bride.” 

  Peeta Mellark’s baby blue eyes slip back to mine, and the left side corner of lips curls into a shy, earnest smile. “Welcome to Panem, Katniss, I’ll sure do my best, so you’d like it here.”

[mellowasinyellow]

100daysofwriting - Day 1

So I thought for the first day I might just briefly outline all of the WIPs I have actually made a start on and that might help me to decide where I want to focus some energy. I have some for Katniss/Peeta in THG fandom and some for Natasha/Clint in the MCU.

Everlark

folklore series - so I started this series of fics inspired by songs from Taylor Swift's album folklore because honestly those songs just immediately bring to mind so many scenarios that made me think of Katniss and Peeta. I made a start on chapters based on peace, my tears ricochet, invisible string, this is me trying, and mad woman. I also have a bit of an outline for continuing the story that was started in 'the 1'.

I've had this one WIP ongoing since about 2015(?) which is a bit of a monster that has grown beyond me but basically it involves Katniss and Gale being raised in the Capitol in relative poverty after their fathers are conscripted into the peacekeepers because of traitorous activity. Mrs Everdeen is still from 12 but was moved to the Captiol to be married (this part is sketchy) and she still had a little childhood romance with Mr Mellark. Peeta gets reaped and Mrs Everdeen reacts to this as he looks like his father. Katniss gets a crush on him as she watches him prepare for the games. She hates herself for it but finds herself checking up on how he is doing even during non-mandatory viewing.

Arranged Marriage - I feel like this is such a cliche for thg fandom, but I just imagined my own way that the pairings happen but I'm so bad at writing slow burn so this will probably never materialise, but if you want a semi-decent thought out pairing/arranged marriage system I would be happy to lend you mine.

Miscarriage fic - I will never post this, but it's in my WIP folder. It's full of nasty feelings that feel a little better when they are written about.

Modern AU Pandemic Quarantine! - ofc, this is essential. Katniss and Peeta end up as the only people not to move home from their dorm for the quarantine. Slow burn that I can't fucking write should ensue.

Canon Pandemic Quarantine AU - pandemic a few years after the end of the war forces Katniss to admit she wants Peeta as more than a friend with whom she hunts, bakes, rebuilds the district. Cue sexy pandemic times and a resentful Haymitch that keeps accidentally breaking the rules.

Divorced but co-parenting Everlark - obviously finding their way back together

Another classic of their children being reaped and dying - I don't know why I write things this depressing. They just tend to come out in one big rush and then I never address them again.

Real weird teen pregnancy modern day AU - don't know where it's going or why...

Modern day AU dead Prim - Peeta and Katniss just met each other through mutual friends and are kind of flirting. Peeta is a bit infatuated. Katniss stops going to mutual friend parties and he finds out it's because her sister died. Instead of staying away he gets tangled up in her grief and does all sorts of practical things while Katniss wallows. Also it's E rated but not that much fun... can't entirely explain where this one came from either...

Single Parent AU where Finnick and Annie play match maker. Probably my fave Everlark in the works but it's another one that has grown so big for the 20 minutes I can dedicate to it each week.

Clintasha

Red Room Take Down - Nat and Clint are retired and living a quiet family life with their child. SHIELD appears asking for Nat's help in taking down the red room and dealing with the fall out, specifically what to do with the girls that they get out. Nat is torn but chooses to go. Chaos ensues with the 'rescued' girls. I need to actually develop some OCs a little if I ever want this to be good but tbh the pending Black Widow movie is kind of holding me back on this one too because I hope we find out more about the red room.

So I have a weird habit of writing from Lila Barton's POV. I can't explain it. I have AoU and like to pretend it never happened but anyway I have a WIP about Lila detailing the collapse of her parents' marriage after Clint retires and he and Laura actually have to spend time together without Natasha. She then goes on to describe the custody settlement and her utter joy that Auntie Nat sleepovers with them at her dad's place. She feels utterly betrayed when she finds out they are getting engaged.

Fluffy AU - Clint and Natasha in an established relationship with a son born between infinity war and endgame. Natasha still sacrifices on Vormir, but Steve gets her back no bother and it's so nice and happy and fluffy and Clint and Natasha are together and they have a son who has both parents back and Steve gets to make all this happen and he is so happy too and they have a barbecue and go swimming in a lake and clint/natasha have private time, and their kid wants to be captain america, and did I mention how HAPPY everyone is?

Another fic similar to the above just about everyone being so HAPPY. Endgame reverses the snap and instead of weird farm family coming back Clint and Natasha get their daughter back and it's just a cute moment about her reappearance and their race back to the spot she disintegrated from. (Steve/Bucky go to Vormir and Steve is sacrificed, but that fucker CHOSE to leave).

This is another one that has just grown bigger than my brain. it's based off the idea that Natasha helped with coordinating fosterings during the blip time. Clint loses his mind when he loses his family and crashes in BedStuy but finds a neighbour girl (Kate Bishop) who is fending for herself in post-apocalyptic Brooklyn. He helps her out and tries to get children's services involved but it has collapsed. Finds out Natasha is the one getting everything in order. He gets in touch. She's at the end of her tether and asks why he can't keep looking after her. In the end he does and she ends up getting involved and all three get overly attached to each other. I haven't got as far as the events of endgame and idk what's going to happen. It might be tragic.

Pregnant Natasha but nobody knows what is wrong with her because they don't even suspect her being pregnant is possible. Just a real vivid description of the early unpleasant pregnancy symptoms.

Another absolute monster - Sort of canon compliant to begin with aside from before the farm family disappear. Clint and Laura are in the middle of separating and tensions are running quite high at the farm. Snap happens. Nat and Clint accidentally run into each other while both a bit low during the blip and get drunk and share home truths. Begin working together from HQ and both get a little less sad. He convinces her she doesn't have to be responsible for the world's fate every moment of every day. Clint has a break down at Morgan's 1st birthday and realises that things will have to change. Nat has this realisation later. They begin sleeping together. Accidental pregnancy. More feelings come out between them. They enter a more conventional relationship and have baby. Baby is really hard work (colic) and they struggle with comparisons and feelings of inadequacy. Pepper helps them to identify the colic and improves everything greatly. Happy times with baby while also running the avengers. Opportunity to reverse snap. Some good scenes between Nat and Tony. A big conversation between Nat and Clint about what it will mean. Steve and Nat end up going to Vormir together. Nat is obviously about to commit suicide. Steve over powers her and gives her a pep talk about the situation she is running away from and how to deal with it. He self-sacrifices. Clint goes back to farm fam and Natasha goes back to BedStuy with baby. Clint has to tell Laura and then the kids about the last 5 years and their new siblings. Nate is super into it. Cooper is a bit aloof and cynical. Lila is confused. Laura is quietly seething. Clint helps put the farm back together about 5 years of neglect and the kids meet baby. Family gets happier. Laura and Nat eventually meet again and it's civil/friendly.

My own version of what happened in Budapest.

The Call - inspired by a post here on tumblr. Nat calls Clint as she bleeds out. Just needs a beta reader and then I would consider publishing.

AoU reimagined but with Clintasha - I'm not sure where this one is going it's like a massive spider web right now with lots of ideas shooting off, but basically it is inspired by this post and just involves a lot of hoodwinking the other avengers.

Accidental Baby Acquisition - Natasha becomes Yelena's child's legal guardian after Yelena gets taken out. Natasha and Yelena are estranged at this point and Natasha things the whole thing is a trap and brings Clint along. He is surprisingly good with the baby so she ropes him in to teach her. The three of them end up bonding.

5 times there's only 1 bed + 1 time they choose to sleep in the same bed.

non-superhero AU Clint and Nat both think they have adopted a stay cat but actually the cat has owners and just likes strokes and eats a lot so has many 'families'. They get into an argument over which of them the cat belongs to only to find out the cat has owners and they are moving away. They decide to adopt a cat between them as both are not hope that much and the shelter refused them as single people. Slow burn ensues, which I am shit at writing.

[miaouerie]

[coda] a pyrrhic victory/an elpidian daydream

this coda marks my first multichapter fic wrapped up and completed!!! so here’s some more related ramblings as a way for me to commemorate this milestone n___n

with the nonlinear narrative I thought I’d include a linked timeline for the chapters in case anyone (like me lol) wants to read the story in chronological order. then there’s some further explanation of what I’ve dubbed ~the jeron’s death conspiracy~ and notes from characterization I wasn’t able to include directly in the story, but were still important regardless...

furthermore, I want to thank @ninelanterns, @atthelamppost, and @sadieandor for following along with this story, as well as anyone else who came along for the adventure. this is definitely a darkfic as far as rebelcaptain goes but I hope that both endings were satisfying in their own ways !!

1. an actual chronological table of contents

Before Cassian is reaped:

day 15

Cassian’s time in the Games:

days 2, 9, 5, 18

What came after that:

days 6, 7, 11, 13, 14, 22, 26◆

Jeron dies:

days 20, 8, 25

Jyn is reaped and Cassian mentors her:

days 1, 3, 4, 12, 10, 16, 17◆, 19◆, 21, 23, 24, 27, 28, 29, 30

After Jyn wins her Games:

bonus chapter, day 31

◆ = chapters that are about trauma concurrent to most of the story, and loosely placed chronologically

2. the Jeron conspiracy

I decided to do a summary for this because I changed my plan slightly after posting day 8: “don’t say goodbye”/abandoned due to some inspiration from @ninelanterns; originally I was going to have snow have cassian brainwashed into genuinely believing that irga and his father were killed by someone with a grudge against them and the capitol (aka someone closely related to a tribute who died under their mentorship) in order to use him as a mouthpiece against those plotting against the capitol; the angst would’ve been from him finding out the truth and hating that his dad’s suicide was used for the capitol’s means. but then I got the idea to have snow brainwash cassian into believing that the “accident” his father and irga died in was actually his fault, because he told jeron the truth of what snow was doing to him in the capitol:

Snow sells Cassian “under the table” until he turns 19, which is when he has Cassian adopt a new persona that can be better capitalized on. Jeron realizes that Cassian’s faking it, suspects that Cassian has been hiding his victimhood this entire time, and when he confirms it realizes there’s no other way to get Cassian out of it; Snow certainly won’t let him sub in to mentor. Suicide is his solution to both Cassian’s problem and his guilt over not being able to protect his son.

Snow has Irga killed in the same way that Jeron kills himself to let Cassian and Lila know that Snow knows it was a suicide. Suicide is the ultimate refutation of Snow’s power—as well as the complete antithesis to any victor’s innate clinging to survival—so Snow has it covered up: Cassian, as one of two people to know the truth about Jeron’s suicide and Irga’s death, is tortured and brainwashed into believing that Jeron and Irga were killed in a power plant explosion as retribution for him disobeying Snow. Doing so serves two purposes: installing the cover-up and guarantees Cassian’s submission.

Before his death Jeron wrote a suicide note, knowing that he couldn’t kill himself and leave Cassian without an explanation. He knows that Snow will have their house stripped and searched, so he hides the note in what was designated to be Cassian’s house. He couldn’t have known it would be the one thing that would break through the brainwashing; if Cassian hadn’t found it, he would have continued to believe that it was all his fault.

Draven does his own investigation into Jeron and Irga’s deaths after witnessing the whiplash that was Cassian’s first three years as an unwilling victor whore, his outrageous personality flip after turning ninteen, and how his demeanor changed after undergoing “therapy” to cope with Jeron’s death. He finds out that Jeron’s death was a suicide, Irga’s death was retribution, and that Snow has an entire program to monetize and exploit victors after their Games.

3. getting from day 1 to 31?!

when I originally thought of this AU it was more about the angst that growing up in the limelight of the capitol as the son of a victor would be like, with constant camera crews as cassian was growing up, betting pools on when he was going to be reaped, etc. and more of an emphasis on the issues that cassian (as part of the pseudo-celebrity class that victors occupy in the capitol) would have trying to promote this fake relationship with jyn during the games to save her. there was also going to be a straight downer ending, with the closing scene being cassian telling jyn that they have to fake a relationship now in front of the cameras and jyn having a “what have you done?” moment

I deliberately did not go in depth with what jeron’s life as a victor was like, partly because plotting both jyn and cassian’s hunger games was already a Lot (I found out pretty quickly that you have to start with planning the arena first, in order to plan tribute deaths and sponsor gifts...) but jeron was an underdog winner, as are most of the victors from non-career districts. lila was pregnant around the time that jeron was reaped and esperanza, their first child, was born some time before jeron’s victory tour. snow had their daughter killed because of something jeron did/didn’t do on the tour; even though jeron and lila are shaken from the loss they agree to be open to having another child, provided that jeron doesn’t do anything to put the child at risk ever again.... but cassian would’ve gotten reaped regardless because there is no way snow wouldn’t have exploited the family drama!!! but cassian’s reaping creates a rift that is referenced in day 15: accidents. and even though jeron is successful in saving cassian that isn’t the end of it; while lila isn’t privy to what cassian is going through she can feel a marked difference each year he comes back in the way that mothers do, as well as the tension between father and son (cassian’s fear of jeron finding out as he’s dragged deeper and deeper vs. jeron’s suspicion that something wrong is happening that has to do with cassian), which all culminates in the year that cassian turns nineteen with jeron’s death. when her husband arrived in district 5 before cassian did he didn’t tell lila about their son being a horndog in the capitol, but lila seeing cassian after he finally gets back five weeks later confirms her worst fears. then she’s the one that discovers jeron’s body and is present when the peacekeepers come to take cassian back to the capitol. her son is gone for a month....... then when he comes back he’s spouting lies about jeron’s death even though both of them saw the body??? yeah, that’s why she nopes on out of victors’ village. after jeron’s death her and cassian don’t see each other for four years until cassian brings jyn home from the games

jyn’s backstory came together quickly but I had considered having bodhi be one of the tributes who died under cassian’s mentorship. bodhi and jyn would’ve been close friends so jyn would have already had that vendetta against cassian; it would’ve made hitting that original ending easier but having jyn be against cassian from the very start would’ve made it less plausible that they could earn each other’s trust before the start of jyn’s games............. while I wanted this story to be dark and depressing I still wanted it to have a reciprocated rebelcaptain end game, so :’)

it wasn’t until day 28 (the cassian/finnick noncon) that I got an idea for a not-so-horrible ending, and I blame the completely depressingly hopeless whump in that chapter for making me think “hmm maybe this shouldn’t end terribly” :’D btw, if anyone noticed I forgot annie cresta is in canon the 70th hunger games victor. for someone who’s neurotic about looking up details I have no idea how this fact escaped me because I didn’t notice until at least halfway through whumptober, so we’ll just say in this AU she’s the 71st victor. this weaves in nicely with my headcanon that after snow saw how easily cassian was manipulated when someone he loved was on the line, he had annie reaped to exert more control over finnick (which happens to be my favorite kind of odesta fic tbh). anyway after writing 3k of depressing andair (andor/odair ship name? ok i’m shutting up) cassian/finnick I had a lovely mental image of cassian and jyn cuddling on the train back home to district 5, relieved and alive, and thought that would be a more uplifting note to end on. then I remembered that I was writing this for whumptober, and decided to write the terrible ending too :’)

4. some chapter commentary because why not

[ETA later!]

5. is there no escape?

yes!!! yes they do escape:

in a pyrrhic victory, post-day 31, draven succeeds in absconding with cassian and meeting up with jyn, saw, lyra, and the rest of their resistance cell (an underground, pan-panem organization fittingly called.... the alliance). draven has to cut out cassian’s implant before they rendezvous with the group, which he ropes a medical professional into doing (he may or may not kill them afterwards); it’s the only mark cassian bears on his body until he starts getting freckles from being in the sun again. similar to mockingjay in how peeta’s hijacking was treated with therapy in district 13, cassian undergoes actual, legitimate therapy after he and draven settle in with the alliance HQ. draven hovers anxiously for the first several sessions because “therapy” in the capitol has a stigma, even before he read the term “extensive in-patient therapy” in cassian’s intendance records, and it does take a good while before they make any remarkable progress. but unlike katniss and peeta cassian is alright in jyn’s presence, and in fact prefers it. they’re almost always seen together, and while jyn has a good amount of guilt for leaving him behind the first time her motivation for staying with him is out of a genuine desire to help him get better so they can be with each other the same way they were in an elpidian daydream again.

in happily ever after!an elpidian daydream, cassian and jyn are able to escape together in between arriving home in district 5 and what was supposed to be jyn’s victory tour. jyn was never aware of what snow did with desirable victors because it’s really only the top 1% of panem and the victors who know about it; she and cassian escape after he tells her that he wants to leave with her, but he doesn’t tell her the real reason why he wants to escape until much later and jyn never sees the recording of cassian and finnick (but he does tell her it exists when he’s explaining the details of how snow exerts his control over the victors). their relationship progresses steadily, but the secret doesn’t come out until jyn points out that cassian is extremely passive in bed and only mirrors her desires. there’s varying attitudes towards sex in the districts vs. the libertine views in the capitol but cassian’s shame stems from his powerlessness in what he had to do Before. he receives therapy for it but jyn is patient and firm with reminding him that he had absolutely zero choice in the matter, and that she could never hate or be disgusted with him for it. there’s a lot to work through there as a result of cassian having to lie to himself about it for the first couple of years of it happening and then willingly choosing to engage with it when he was trying to save jyn, but their relationship comes out all the more stronger for it. as for what happens to draven?.... because this is the happily ever after ending I like to think he’s able to stay in the capitol and work as an agent codenamed fulcrum 🤪🤙 and that after his extraction when things get too dangerous for him in the capitol he and cassian are able to reunite again as part of the alliance/rebellion !!

[pynkhues]

Since you're a writer, I'm hoping you can shed some light on this. IMO the writers were chasing viewers in S2 and trying not to get canceled. Personally, I hate when writers toy with their audience, it means they don't have a clear picture of their characters and narrative. How do you feel about writers making it up as they go?

Ah, this post got really long, anon! Since you asked me as a writer, I’m answering as one (I hope you don’t mind! I also hope this doesnt come out as too Creative Writing 101 for people either. This is just lessons I’ve learned and use in my own practice, so I’m applying them here.) 

(Also I have drawn horrible diagrams on my very pink notebook paper - I am so sorry, haha)

So first thing’s first - no. I don’t think the writers were chasing viewers (at least not beyond the way any writer is wanting an audience), and I don’t think they were making it up as they go really, but I can understand why you would think that way! 

It won’t be a surprise to anyone that I love this show a lot, but coming from it as both a writer and editor - this show does have narrative problems, and the biggest ones, particularly in s2, are in execution, escalation and pacing. 

I think heading into the season they had certain character arcs they wanted to follow which married well with the story they wanted to tell. In particular, I actually think the writers have a very strong handle on the girls (I will say that I’ve had a few asks telling me Beth’s characterisation is all over the place, which I’m curious about, just because I personally find her very consistent, and when I’ve asked for clarification, I’ve never gotten any reply, so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

I mean, look at their s2 arcs on paper, right? 

Ruby tries to negotiate Stan’s lowered opinion of her after the reveal of what she’s done, then has to negotiate him telling her to turn Beth and Annie in. She manages the situation painfully but pulls them through and they’re close again as Ruby navigates the increasingly lower depths of their crime life. When Stan acts to save Beth for Ruby and is arrested, it only escalates – the case on him driving Ruby to extremes to try and save him, including robbing a Quick Cash and using counterfeit money to bribe a lawyer. On top of that, she’s being targeted by an FBI agent who’s after her best friend who she gives up and then saves and then who tries to sacrifice herself for them. Ruby finishes the season the most morally compromised she’s ever been.

Annie gets back together with her ex only to find out that he’s gotten his not-quite-separated-wife pregnant. She splits up with him, but is heartbroken and it’s only amplified by the fact that they’ve been given a job by their Crime Boss to murder a man who tried to rape her but who’s grandmother she has a relationship with. Her sister can’t kill him, and Annie doesn’t get the chance as MP beats her to it. Upon disposing of the body though she endures a whole lot of pain as a result of both her ex’s new family and knowing she’s robbed a woman of her own. Annie goes on a guilt tour – tells her son, helps Marion, helps Nancy only to eventually find an absolver of her guilt in Noah, who builds her up and tells her she’s more than what life has given her. She lets herself have it for a while, before realising he’s FBI and there to trap her, and Annie tries to use him only to realise she can’t, and she finishes the season in a lot more hurt than she started it.

Beth struggles with guilt after getting Dean shot, gets the job to kill Boomer from Rio, can’t do it, gets support and encouragement from him (in various states of animosity), but in the end doesn’t have to find out if she can do it because MP does it instead. She’s rewarded by Rio in a way she probably never has been by anyone, her husband further subjugates her, so she has sex with Rio, starts to entertain a future with him, but he undermines her, so she seizes control from him. They work together. Dean forces her to break up with him due to jealousy, she struggles, goes back, but Rio’s stung, so unhelpful, and they play a little cat and mouse before he bails then kidnaps her and she shoots him.

With the exception of that very last sentence, I think all of those are narratively really strong pathways to have explored. Like I said above though, the issue is in execution, escalation and pacing.

But to talk about those things, I think I probably need to talk about story. 

SO!

Stories have a shape.

Kurt Vonnegut talks extensively about this, and while he’ll talk about a few different types of story shapes, they really all boil down to this bad boy here:

Look at this guy.

What a beautiful thing.

He’s a story.

It doesn’t matter if you’re reading Dr Seuss or Charles Dickens, when you read a story – when you strip away its words and its characters and its settings – this is what it looks like.

Or, well.

Not quite.

Really, it’s this guy:

But we’ll talk about him in a sec.

Right now, let’s talk about that first little inch: 

The Beginning

The fact that stories have a beginning is not a surprise to anyone. Stories need them. In some ways, they’re the most important part of your story. After all, the job of the beginning is to set up the world your protagonist is about to leave behind. That is essential in grounding a reader / viewer – orienting them to the world that they’re in, and getting them invested in the story you’re about to tell, if not the protagonist.

Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Star Wars, Game of Thrones are all excellent example of this (and frequently used in teaching) because in each of these cases it’s literal. Frodo leaves Bag End, Harry leave Privet Drive, Luke leaves Tatooine, the Starks leave Winterfell. There is a literal departure from the world before the crux of the story, and that departure is what signifies the start of the ‘hero journey’ aka the main part of your narrative.

Of course, it’s not always literal – in fact, it’s usually not. Usually that world is symbolic – it’s the single, uncertain world before the Bingley’s buy the house next door in Pride and Prejudice or the dry domestic sphere of Breaking Bad before Walt decides to make meth. It’s a marked shift, whether that’s internal or external.

In Good Girls, it’s internal.

The beginning is actually pretty perfect. The world it sets up that we’re about to (try to) depart is one of struggle and invisibility.

Beth’s in a loveless marriage promptly discovering that her husband is not only cheating but about to leave them destitute, Ruby’s getting ignored by the healthcare system and can’t afford to pay for her daughter’s wellbeing, and Annie is in a dead end job about to lose custody of her child.

Writing-wise – as a beginning, I honestly think 1.01 is close to perfect.

It sets up who these characters are, their personal conflicts, and the story world they share together, and the worlds they have on their own i.e. Ruby at the hospital and the diner, Annie at Fine and Frugal, Beth with Dean and Boland Motors.

Then:

BOOM

Inciting Incident.

The inciting incident is also often called The Point of No Return.

When I’m teaching, I personally like to call it the “You’re a wizard!” moment.

It’s when something happens that means everything set up in the beginning will be changed forever. It’s Romeo meeting Juliet, it’s Katniss volunteering for Prim, it’s Frodo deciding to take the ring to Mordor, it’s Jaimie pushing a child out a window, it’s Beth – deciding to take her little sister’s joke seriously and rob a grocery store.

(Again, I like to use Harry Potter because it’s literal – there is no return for Harry after hearing Hagrid tell him he’s a wizard. Everything is changed forever).

Inciting incidents are probably the most singularly important narrative moment, because they’re what everything else tumbles out of. Pretty much everything that happens in the story should be a direct or indirect result of the inciting incident. The inciting incident is ultimately the key of the story and what should unlock the overall arc.

When it comes to a series – whether that be a TV series, movie series or book series, each individual instalment (see: season of a show) should have its own inciting incident which – preferably – builds off the one established in the first instalment.

The Hunger Games does this really well. Katniss and Peeta being brought back into the games in Catching Fire is both an imitation inciting incident which allows the author to explore the story world further in an exciting way, and also an inciting incident that’s directly borne out of the first book / film – aka Katniss pissed enough people off during the first games that they’re going to try and kill her for real this time, which in turn gives us the opportunity to explore Katniss’ trauma, the ramifications of her actions in the first book on the broader story world, and to generate a new, compelling chapter based off of both.

Good Girls has a terrific inciting incident in s1 – which is Beth realising she’s about to lose everything.

That is our narrative point of no return.

And it works on a lot of levels – it establishes Beth as the driving engine of the story, fuelled by the chorus motivations of Annie and Ruby, rounding off both their collective and individual stakes, it sets us up for a strong narrative spine and solid characterisations.

Good Girls actually also has a terrific inciting incident in s2, which operates strongly on its own while also building firmly off the character arcs of s1.

The s2 inciting incident is Rio showing up on that park bench with Marcus, a gun and an order.

The story pivots here – giving Rio a lot of narrative thrust (get your minds out of the gutter kids), and making him a sort of secondary story engine. The core engine is still Beth, but her life is different now. She’s been traumatised and she’s exhausted, but Rio revealing his son to the girls (and tying their motivations up together in a neat little package) while forcing her to act, re-establishes her as the person who’s decisions are going to be the driving force of the narrative.

Ruby and Annie are, of course, story engines in their own right too, but they fall into line behind Beth usually, and their narrative push is actually usually away from the story throughline, but we’ll talk about that in a sec.

Rising Tension / The Middle

Okay, this is where things get a little tricky.

Do you remember this guy?

When we talk about stories, rising tension / the middle is the big guy. It’s the bulk of your narrative. It’s Where Things Happen. It’s where all the ugly stuff set up in your beginning and exploded by your inciting incident just - - grows a life of it’s own.

Or - -

Well.

Maybe not.

Forget about this guy.

Rising tension is this:

Rising tension is a series of ‘mini climaxes’ on the way to the main climax that raises the stakes, lets you know characters better, and pushes your characters onwards to the main climax.

Each of these little climaxes should be followed by a ‘narrative rest’. (that’s the dip after each spike)

Which - - I don’t know, might sound weird? I know when I started writing I was like ?? but it’s true! The closer you get to a big narrative climax, the more important rests are! Rests are – I personally think – one of the most important components of storytelling, because they re-ground an audience, remind them of what’s at stake, before thrusting everyone back into danger.

Again, Harry Potter is a gift in this sense because this is all really clearly paced out. Think about the first instalment – Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s / Sorcerer’s Stone.

Harry and Ron save Hermione and Ron from the troll!!!

Then they become friends and enjoy school and quidditch.

Harry loses control of his broom during a quidditch game!!!!

He’s okay and then it’s Christmas and Harry gets the invisibility cloak and feels connected to his parents for perhaps the first time in his life.

Harry, Hermione and Ron go through the trapdoor to get the philosopher’s stone!!!

And - - okay, you get the point.

Each mini climax ups the stakes, but we feel those stakes upped because of the time we spend with characters during the ‘narrative rest’. For instance, while Harry and Ron saving Hermione from the troll might have sparked an interest in her, it’s the narrative rest scenes between that and her setting Snape on fire during the quidditch game that makes us invest in her as a character. 

This is where things get a bit hairy with Good Girls. Good Girls does a tremendous job of giving us both great climaxes and wonderful moments of narrative rest. The issue, for me at least, is that it’s not always the best at balancing them. When I talk about escalation and pacing, this is a big part of what I mean.

Remember how I said this was the shape of a story?

Well, I think Good Girls s2 looked more like this:

We had a lot of solid movement in the first half of the season that sort of flattened out into a lower stakes, more meandering middle (which gave us 2.08 through 2.12). Which - -

Look.

The story changed gear, and it didn’t work.  

Think of it this way:

2.01 – mostly character-based fallout from s1 + inciting incident of Rio handing them the gun

2.02 – almost entirely rising tension culminating with the girls bribing Boomer and Beth lying to Rio

2.03 – which thrusts us straight back into rising tension with the girls trying to kill Boomer and ‘succeeding’ via Mary Pat

2.04 – which gives us a very satisfying narrative rest as we explore Rio and Beth’s relationship outside of an overall narrative thrust – he gives her a key, she shies away from him, only to fall entirely back into him culminating in sex which itself brings about a new climax (no pun intended!) in the scene with Beth, Rio and Dean at the dealership. It’s also a strong character episode in closing certain plot threads – ending Annie and Greg’s relationship + ending Ruby lying to Stan about what they’re doing – while establishing major new threads – i.e. really colliding Turner and Mary Pat.

2.05 – and after the rest, we’re back to almost entirely satisfying rising tension! Building off of the threat of finding Boomer’s body and the new tensions that Rio and Beth’s intimacy brings.

2.06 – a mix episode! Very much building to the strong climax of Beth seizing power, but also an episode that plays around with character, has a lot of strong ‘rest’ moments i.e. the girls sorting pills and talking which gives us a lot of information as to state of minds, etc.

2.07 – again, very strong mixed episode which is focused on one single, extreme climax – Jane being missing, but building a very character-centric episode around it. Also introduces Noah though? Which is a mistake. He should have been introduced - I think, in 2.05, but that feels like a whole other post.

2.08 – narratively speaking the same as 2.07 in the sense of a single climax (the girls failing to get the money back / the Beth-Ruby confrontation), but has the added bonus of flashbacks.

2.09 – we have a slight narrative thrust with the robbery of the Quick Cash but it proves very quickly to be low stakes. This is an alllll emotional stakes episode, which means narrative tension is slowing.  

2.10 – again, a character-focused, narrative rest episode devoted to Beth struggling with getting square. A few small climaxes – Annie and Ruby in Canada and Turner at the dealership being the big ones, but both quickly prove toothless. The heft / strength of the episode again is in character moments, not narrative thrust. Again - slowing it down. 

2.11 – oh, what do we have here? Another character-focused, narrative rest episode? I love this episode – it’s one of my favourites of the show, but it’s intensely character focused. Very much centred in waving away the smoke around both Noah and Rio for Annie and Beth respectively. No dramatic climaxes. Slowing the story down even further. 

2.12 – another narrative rest episode. A lot of slow exposition of Mary Pat and Jeff, which is good to know, but I’d argue placed badly in the season. This season’s already been slowing down despite the narrative timeline tightening, but this episode only further pushes on the brakes for Dean’s new job, Beth and Dean’s divorce, Beth and Rio’s break up. Two very small climaxes - the lawyer telling Ruby he knows about the money and the Boomer reveal but - in the context of the season - actually pretty low stakes. Again. Slowing down the narrative. 

2.13 – A BIG CLIMAX EPISODE WHAT IS GOING ON???

What I’m saying in this is that the pacing in the back half of the season was, to me at least, fundamentally off. They hadn’t steered a strong enough narrative spine to take us through the season, and got heavily invested in character moments and not-entirely-thought-out-fallout in the back half of the season – it didn’t understand it’s own narrative thrust well enough to get us through. It also established a certain pacing with us in the first half of the season and shifted gears halfway through.

You can’t have your first three or six episodes be high-stakes-high-action, and then make the back end of your season same-stakes-low-action and top it all off with an explosive, poorly built-up finale in the way that they did.

There wasn’t enough thrust to push us through to the scene in Rio’s loft – neither narratively or in a character sense, and as a result, those last few episodes fall apart. Even beyond that though, the season escalated quickly then - - didn’t really know what to do with those escalations? It plateaued, which is indicative of bad pacing across the season. 

I actually do think it’d be a relatively easy fix? I’d bring the Noah arc forwards and actually fiddle with the Beth and Rio break ups - get one even closer the tinale and make it more painful. Make it a climax in itself. 

But anyway, haha: 

The Resolution

All stories have a resolution too of course.

The resolution can be 30 seconds or 30 minutes – it’s a time to tie up loose ends and to reassure your audience that the journey they’ve been on is worthwhile.

(After all – you’ll notice the story diagram is not symmetrical – we never finish where we began).

I’m not going to talk too much about resolutions because at the end of the day – resolutions should fall fairly naturally out of your beginning, your inciting incident, your rising tension. It should tumble out like the double wedding at the end of Pride and Prejudice, but I will say that the s2 resolution was...err, not good. In no small part because it didn’t fall out of what we’d been told all season. They’d established a certain throughline and then taken it back, and that was nagl to be honest. 

On the plus side though - it wasn’t a finale, so I have my fingers crossed they can fix it!

But yes, back to your ask, anon. 

No, I don’t think that the writers were pandering. I think they went in with a sketched outline and that they probably got lost in the back end of the season and weren’t quite sure how to drum up the final act, which meant that final act didn’t work.

Ah, this post got so long! I hope it wasn’t boring or too self-indulgent or silly, and that you got something out of it! I am, of course, always happy to answer writing questions, and I hope you liked reading my story ramblings ;-) 

[everlarkbirthdaygifts]

Happy Birthday, booksandeverlark!

Today, we wish @booksandeverlark a very Happy Birthday! We hope you’re having a wonderful day so far, full of cake and presents! To keep your party going a little while longer, the lovely @historywriter2007​ has written a story just for you!

Happy Birthday booksandeverlark!  I hope you had a fantastic day and that you enjoy your story.

Maybe He Wasn’t  My Always

Rated T

-------------------------

The small town of Panem hasn’t changed much in the past 10 years since Katniss left. She hadn’t planned to be away for so long but after college she was offered an amazing job from the company where she had interned and she couldn’t resist. It wasn’t until Prim begged her to come home that she took an inventory of her life and realized she was miserable. Her friends were as fake as their silicone boobs and no matter how much money she was making she never seemed to feel like she was happy. Even though growing up all she could ever think about was not having to worry about where her next meal came from, now she could have anything she wanted but it left her feeling more empty. At least she found joy knowing she was helping Prim through medical school but now that she was heading into her residency and they ended up with a large inheritance from her distant uncle, who had no heirs, she could take a pay cut and come back home to be with her sister.

As she was heading to meet her friend Madge her phone dinged with a request of coffee and cheese buns. Katniss knew she would need to go to one place to get those, Mellark’s Bakery. She hoped she could avoid the place for a few days until she got used to the idea of being home and close to her longtime crush, who happened to run the bakery now, but it looked like a very pregnant Madge had a different idea. And of course, as her luck would have it, Peeta was working the front desk.

“Katniss, I heard you were home. Are you back for good?” He asked with a huge smile on his face.

She wondered if he always looked so happy to see someone. “I am, Prim begged me to come home and I found a job nearby. How’s the business?”

“It’s great actually. What can I get for you?”

“I’m meeting Madge, she wants a decaf and cheese buns.”

Peeta nodded and gathered the first items before placing another cup on the counter. “And, you’ll have cheese buns and a hot chocolate?” Peeta added.

Katniss smiled, “You remembered.”

Peeta’s cheeks reddened. “I remember a lot of things about you.”

Before Katniss could respond the door dinged letting them know the bakery had a new visitor. The woman was wearing scrubs and had beautiful red hair and green eyes, but she was carrying a baby boy who was the spitting image of Peeta. She smiled and walked right past Katniss to hand the baby off to Peeta, who took him without question. After a few minutes of hello’s with the boy, he turned to Annie.

“Annie, this is my old friend Katniss.”

Annie half smiled, “It’s nice to meet you, I’ve heard a lot about you.” She looked her up and down before turning back to Peeta, “Don’t forget I have the late shift tomorrow.”

“Got it.” He answered.

She dropped a diaper bag at his feet and turned to walk away.

Katniss tried to smile, but her heart felt like it was constricting. Peeta didn’t seem to notice as he tried to introduce the baby to Katniss.

“Jake, can you say hi to my friend Katniss?” The baby cuddled more into him, “he’s a bit shy.” Peeta said.

“I remember someone else who was shy,” Katniss mentioned thinking back on the boy who would turn away anytime she looked his direction.

“I was only shy with a few people,” He added, pink twinging his cheeks like it did when they were in high school.

Katniss didn’t want to think about what he was trying to say, it was too late for her to even try to get him now. Maybe if it was only a girlfriend she would be alright with thinking of ways she could win his heart away, but not if she was destroying a family. “I need to go, I’m late to meet Madge.” She didn’t give him a chance to answer, as she left the bakery.

Katniss struggled to stay away from Peeta, but in a small town, it was nearly impossible to avoid someone. She played hide and seek with him in the aisle of the grocery store watching him fill his cart with diapers and formula. He even showed up at the park when she was with Madge and her oldest child. Madge’s comments on how good he was with Jake were the last thing she needed. It was hard enough to see him happily play with his boy knowing she would never be a part of it with him. She never thought she wanted children, but seeing him as a father made her rethink her stance.

At least she had avoided Annie, that was until she met Prim for her dinner break a week after she arrived home. Katniss watched the woman pay for her food and walk to a nearby table. Prim followed her gaze and gave Katniss a confused look.

“Why are you shooting daggers at Annie?” Prim asked.

“I am not.” Katniss spit back.

Prim narrowed her eyes, “First of all you are a shitty liar, so don’t even try it with me. Second, if you had your bow I’m pretty sure she’d be dead so what’s going on?”

Katniss sighed, she knew Prim wouldn’t give up until she told her the truth. “You know that I had a crush on Peeta growing up.”

Prim scoffed, “Katniss, the whole town knew. We also all knew that Peeta had a crush on you too. The only two who didn’t seem to know were you two.”

Katniss scowled at her, “Well, now that he’s with Annie there’s nothing I can do about that. Especially since they have a child together.”

Prim busted into laughter, which made Katniss angry, “What the hell are you laughing at?”

“You. They aren’t together. In fact, she’s dating the hottest doctor in the hospital.”

“But she came in with Peeta’s baby.” Katniss refuted.

Prim shook her head. “Do you ever listen to me when I’m telling you about home?” Katniss didn’t answer, she just looked at her willing her to continue. “Do you remember when I told you about Peeta’s brother?”

Katniss nodded, she remembered Prim telling her about a car accident that claimed Peeta’s oldest brother, Brandon and his wife. She even sent Peeta a message sending her condolences.

“Well, Peeta had been named as their son’s guardian. Annie was Brandon’s wife’s sister. She wanted to make sure Jake knew that side of the family too so she takes him for a night every now and then and watches him when she can.” Prim shoved a forkful of salad into her mouth, giving Katniss time to register everything she said.

“So Peeta’s single?” Katniss asked.

Prim looked at her incredulously, “Yes. He’s single and I talked to him this morning. He was really hoping he would have been able to talk to you more but felt like you were avoiding him. I’m sure he’s really confused, especially since I told him about your crush before you come home.”

“Why would you do that?”

“Because you both needed a kick in the ass to make your moves. Now, you need to get to the bakery before it closes. Doctors orders.”

Katniss smiled and hugged her sister then did as she was told. When did she get so bossy?

The sign said closed, but she could see Peeta cleaning the tables by the window. She knocked to get his attention, he looked up and gave her a smile before opening the door and letting her in.

“Hey, did you need something?” He asked.

“No, but I know you talked to Prim andI need to tell you something. I’m sorry.” She said.

Peeta looked confused, “Why are you sorry?”

“You were right. I’ve been avoiding you.”

“Katniss, it’s fine. I know you didn’t want kids and now that I have Jake things are different. You know Prim told me about your crush and even though I would love for us to try if you still don’t want kids I understand. I’m not expecting anything from you.”

“But that is not the reason I’ve been staying away. I thought you and Annie were together and that Jake was yours.” Katniss admitted.

“You know that’s not true right? I mean technically Jake’s mine now, but I’m not with anyone.” Peeta responded.

“I know that now. Prim told me everything. And I’ve changed my mind on kids.”

Peeta moved a bit closer, “That’s good to know. Does that mean if I asked you to dinner that you’d take me up on the offer?”

Katniss decided to make a move, she got on her tiptoes and placed a soft quick kiss on his lips. “I’d love to, but first I want a proper meeting with Jake.”

“Deal. I have a feeling you two will get along well.” Peeta said with a smile.

[everlarkingjoshifer]

A Different Way CHPT 3

Hello my wonderful Lovelies! 

It is I, back again with a weekly update on this crazy yet I hopefully charming story. Now I would like to thank a few people who’ve helped me to flesh this story out. First, to my two amazing and patient beta’s @titaniasfics & @javistg . Second to @mega-aulover for being the best cheerleader a friend could ever ask for. Third to my incredibly sexy husband for being the biggest support system a woman could ever hope for. And finally, to @sunsetsrmydreams for the beautiful banner. This is a continuation of @peetaisbae Xmas gift and as always please don’t forget to read, review and reblog! ;)

Anyway onto the best part. BTW You can now find each chapter on Ao3.

By the time Katniss arrived at Panem’s world office with a set of newly printed and revised article, Johanna was running behind her holding her wrist in a vice-like grip.

“Woman, you will tell me all about this Peeta dude or so help me god,” Johanna seethed.

Katniss sighed. “Jo, I’m not saying anything and no matter how much you plead and threaten, you know I won’t budge. Now, please let me go, I have to hand this stupid article to Coin.”

Having given up altogether, Johanna half sulked half walked next to her. “Why does she have us print the stupid thing when we already email it to her, not to mention why in the hell do we have to come all the way here to hand it in like a couple of school children, and why so fucking early?”

Katniss shrugged but kept on walking.

Work handed in, and new subjects handed to them by their boss, Johanna sat on her computer desk next to Katniss. Having her facebook connected, Katniss felt her phone buzz. Her messenger popped up with a little article about animal torture with a text from Jo. “PETA would disagree with this.”

Katniss glanced down at her friend who was currently shaking with laughter. She rolled her eyes and shook her head. An hour passed and again her phone buzzed. They were the only ones in the office that Monday morning and Coin was circling about the room every so often like a vulture.

Hiding her phone under her desk Katniss opened her messenger once again. This time there was just a picture of pita bread. Just the stupid bread. With half slit eyes, Katniss took a deep sigh as she furiously texted back to Johanna. “Jo, so help me god. Leave me the hell alone or I will kick your ass and you know we’re equally matched.”

Johanna, who’d been trying to hide a triumphant grin, texted her back. “Bitch, you wish.”

“Then I’ll leave you here in this miserable office with Coin micromanaging your every move since I can make the excuse that my kid is sick and you know Coin will let me go.” Katniss texted back.

Johanna looked horrified at the prospect. “No please, I’ll be good, I promise.”  

Katniss looked back at Johanna and nodded once to show that she meant business, but there she sat for another excruciating six hours in the silent office as people filed in quietly and sat to do their work. If only she hadn’t asked for a full time she wouldn’t have had to come in so early.

Days passed and Katniss had been halfway through a good week until Gale showed up at her door.

Hands on hips and wearing a frown, Katniss asked, “What’re you doing here?”

“What do you mean what am I doing here? I’m here to see my kid,” Gale replied leaning against the door frame.

“She’s not back from school yet, you should know that,” Katniss said walking into the living room and leaving the door open so that he could enter.

The door closed and as he sauntered as though he owned the place. “Oof, you gotta clean up in here. Is this how you’re raising my child?”

“At least I’m raising her, which is more than I can say for you!” Katniss turned, nose flaring. Gale had the uncanny ability to piss her off like no other.

Gale raised his hands. “I was on my honeymoon.”

“Oh yes, your honeymoon. I guess you were so entertained you forgot to call your daughter,” Katniss commented crossing her arms.

Gale stepped closer, his hands on his hips. “Well, what the fuck would you have me do, call her while I’m with Glimmer? You know Willow can’t stand her.”

“Gee, I wonder why?” Katniss muttered under her breath. She sighed and pursed her lips. “You couldn’t take five minutes off your day? Shit, Willow thought you’d forgotten her.”

Gale ran his hand through his hair. “Look, Katniss, I’m not here to fight.”

“Could’ve fooled me!” Katniss said.

Growling, Gale took another step forward. “Do you always have to have the last word? No wonder I divorced you!”

“What the hell did you come here for?” Katniss asked after a couple of minutes.

Gale reached into his wallet and handed her a check. “It’s for the child support.”

Katniss looked down at the check and nodded. He might not have been a good husband, but at least he provided for his child. “Thank you.”

Gale nodded. “I was actually thinking that it would be better if you took part in some of Willow’s school activities.”

“What the hell do you mean? I help with homework,” Katniss asked.

“Not homework, I mean like school-based activities, like volunteer work,” Gale explained.

Katniss crossed her arms even tighter. “Gale, when do you suppose I’d have time for that? I work a full time.”

“Then make it a part-time,” Gale nonchalantly shrugged.

Katniss ran her hand exasperatedly across her face. “You’re kidding me, right? Have you any idea how long it took me to convince Coin to give me that full time? Besides, where do you think I’m gonna get the money that I’m currently getting?”

“Money’s not the problem, I’ll give you whatever is left of your earnings and then some,” Gale replied.

Katniss, who married him halfway through college, was now regretting her foolish notions of romanticism. Gale was a couple years older than her. He’d been a junior at Panem High when she had entered freshman year and things had been so rosy back then.

She’d naively fell in love with the shared interests and what used to be mutual respect until Gale went to College only to drop out almost immediately. It was at her behest that he finally settled on a career in business that he finally flourished. With it had come his constant need to control every aspect of their life, and it only got worse after Willow was born.

Perhaps things wouldn’t have been so bad if the doctor hadn’t had to explicitly explain to him that she was unable to bear any more children due to an abnormality in her uterus. If she were to get pregnant again, she had a high risk of dying. Instead of understanding, Gale simply blamed her after she had adamantly refused to carry another kid on his whim.

She knew what it was like to be an orphan, and she damn well made sure not to make her daughter one. Still, she stuck through it all, hoping that one day the situation would change. That he would change, but it wasn’t so.

Gale never wanted to change, as he thought there was nothing wrong with him, to begin with, and he refused to go to a couple’s therapist.

It wasn’t until he’d gotten drunk one evening that he pulled her next to him on the sofa and gave her a glimmer of hope. She thought things would be alright when he began to kiss her until he abruptly stopped and looked at her swollen lips, mussed hair and skewed shirt. He’d lazily frowned in all his drunken stupor and announced that he couldn’t muster the strength to sleep with her any longer because he just wasn’t attracted to her anymore. That he’d fallen in love with someone else, and then sat there laughing as she straightened her shirt with tears streaming down her cheeks carrying her humiliation along with it.

The next day he served her with divorce papers and the rest was history.

“It must be so easy for you to throw your money out there huh, Gale?” Katniss commented.

Gale rolled his eyes. “Listen, I don’t have a lot of time, Glimmer is waiting out in the car. I just wanted to tell you I went to see a therapist.”

“You saw a therapist?” Katniss was impressed.

“My general doctor recommended it,” he swiftly informed, “ Anyway, she said it would be a good idea if our daughter spent more time with either of us and since I’m going to be busy at the office, I thought you could do it,”

Katniss frowned. “Gale, I don’t think that’s what your therapist meant.”

“Are you gonna take the offer or not?” Gale imposed through gritted teeth.

Taking a deep breath, Katniss shrugged. “Sure, I’ll see what I can do. There’s a parent-teacher conference coming up this week so maybe I can find out what I can do then, but I’m not making any promises.”

“Great, text me when you get something ok?” Gale replied walking towards the door and all but ran out into the sunlight.

[thewickedbohemian]

Friendly reminder that even if some elements of a fictional dystopia come true in our world, that doesn’t mean we’re literally headed for the future the dystopia depicts because how could something exist in the past as fiction and the future as reality at the same time (even if it was used as a guidebook, how could they exactly predict the way the dystopia was taken down since you’d think they would plan for something that specific)?

1. Juggalos marching on Washington does not mean we’re headed for a Homestuck future because A. iirc they’re on the wrong side for it to mirror that particular future and B. even if I remembered that part wrong, Homestuck’s gone a lot meta over the years but never meta to the level where characters in the comic could be reading the comic within the comic (even if the characters who were reading it weren’t reading about their own adventures) and to have it so that, in order to avoid that, the “main characters” of this “real life Homestuck” would be people who haven’t heard of the comic and still fit the “requirements” (13 years old (or however old the Alpha kids are), only child, one parental figure etc.), would require almost ridiculous levels of machinations to set everything up for that future and I doubt anyone who’d have the power to do that has the Homestuck knowledge to do that unless something is going on that’s a level of weird that would make Homestuck’s plot look like Dick And Jane.

2. We aren’t in the dark timeline of Back To The Future because A. Trump didn’t make any part of his fortune on sports bets, B. Biff wasn’t based on him but on one of the studio executives who Zemeckis didn’t like (iirc the name of the guy was Rick Tannen) and C. The movies couldn’t exist within any of the realities they take place in unless e.g. everyone has different names in each version and they’re some sort of universal constant but if that’s the case, A. someone in the movies would have mentioned how familiar what they had to do sounded and B. I think we should check if we’re in some sort of absurdist Simpsons-esque cartoon first because a movie series plot seems like a weird thing to have as a universal constant.

3. Speaking of Simpsons, The Simpsons did not predict this unless you think that either the family depicted on the show is real (and therefore everything that happened to them is a real thing in whichever Springfield is theirs) or some other woman named Lisa Marie Simpson will run for (and win) the presidency in 2020 and appoint a nerdy childhood friend of hers named Milhouse Van Houten as her Secretary Of The Treasury. I don’t know about other cases of “Simpsons predicted it” because I make an effort to not really watch the show but I felt this needed refuting both on its predictive power and the predictive power supposedly meaning that world is real in this particular instance.

4. No matter how many social media memes I see about it, we are not headed for the future depicted in The Hunger Games because A. comparing Trump to President Snow implies that the games have been going on for at least a generation (since he wasn’t the first president of Panem); B. For all I know, the statements that his election etc. is what led to the Hunger Games are just posts by supporters of his who want to keep us from rebelling to get him out of power by making us afraid that us trying to stop him is the rebellion that the Hunger Games are because of. C. Suzanne Collins would have to be either God/an avatar thereof (which blows Christianity all to hell), a precog (who for some reason hasn’t claimed the James Randi Foundation million-dollar prize) or a time traveler (and for some reason in our/their universe, time travel works so weirdly that her traveling back in time to publish the book didn’t change/potentially erase the future she came from and cause a paradox because it would do that even without anyone heeding its warnings) to explain the books’ simultaneous fictionality and reality; D. If a future regime (whether or not it’s his) decides they want to literally copy the dystopia depicted in The Hunger Games and that’s why it’s our future, they’d need to build in safeguards against the way the dystopia was taken down that aren’t completely obvious (e.g. illegalizing the name Katniss); E. That meme that seems to imply that the Hunger Games will start in 2018 overlooks the fact that in order for that to happen, everything including the institution of Panem/the district system and the rebellion would have to happen this year, and, unless that was the Trump administration’s goal, I don’t see that happening.

5. We do not live in the 1984 future because, A. Even if it could somehow exist as fiction in the past and reality in the future, it would be banned for being too subversive (and there would be no way that it would sell out like it’s done on Amazon because it wouldn’t be sold anywhere), B. The surveillance etc. isn’t as deep as people think it is and C. The parts of the future that are like 1984 were around long before Trump so he’s not to blame.

6. We do not live in Idiocracy not just because of the obvious things like not having a president who open carries assault weapons on his person at all times or a reality show called Ow! My Balls but because A. For reasons previously discussed in earlier points on this post, it is impossible for something to be a “documentary from the future” and still have that future have happened in reality, B. Just because we have a stupid president does not make him Camacho, and C. IQs are actually rising over time, look it up.

7. Not just the current storyline but any Magic: The Gathering storyline that has already been out can’t be an allegory for our current situation (though in the Magic The Gathering tag on my blog, there’s an interesting theory of mine as to how Earth could exist in that universe and still have that game exist) because A. The only villains in that universe who aren’t too smart to be compared to Trump are either that universe’s version of Elder Gods (who are actually somewhat too mindless to be compared to him) or weren’t villains of their own free will (which I doubt is the case with him unless the section of the conspiratard crowd that’s actually against him are right) and B. In order for the story to have been an allegorical prediction like a lot of people are saying, they would have had to know the election results beforehand and unless Wizards Of The Coast are actual wizards...

8. This is not Star Wars no matter who Trump is in that allegory because if he’s Vader, that means the only ones who can take him down are his long-lost twin children; a son who is living somewhere in the desert with distant relatives and loves to fly, and a daughter whose adoptive parents are either other politicians/royalty (of an opposite political alignment) or celebrities (because they are also kinda “royalty” of a sort) and if he’s Palpatine and we’re in the Revenge Of The Sith phase because Beyonce is pregnant with twins then I’m not sure which thing that “has to happen” (according to this metaphor) is more unlikely; either Jay-Z accepting a cabinet post or Kanye both being the father of the twins and the winner of the 2020 election, Beyonce dying in childbirth and her twins being given up for adoption (with one ending up among her fellow elite and one in some desert flyover state), or Trump (or whoever succeeds him) ruling until said twins are teens/young adults. 

9. This isn’t like Divergent for reasons that will be obvious if you’ve read the third book or seen the third movie but I refuse to mention them because I refuse to accept those particular plot twists as canon but also because the Trump administration isn’t smart enough to be Erudite or selfless enough to be Abnegation (the faction that actually made up most of the government in the Divergent universe)

10. This isn’t Brave New World not just because of the point I keep reiterating about sci-fi not being able to exactly exist as both fiction in the past and reality in the future in the same universe but because corporate-owned TV and lack of social mobility, while sucky, don’t equal biological castes and conditioning from “birth” and, while a lot of people are a bit too football-crazy for comfort, liking sports/games and/or pop culture shouldn’t be something worthy of shame and junk food/drugs, though bad for you in some respects, aren’t freaking soma!

11. This hopefully can’t be Harry Potter (or at least a similar universe) because that means that at best (if he’s the Umbridge in this metaphor with our country being Hogwarts) we have to set up some kind of shadow government that actually makes the decisions (as a DA parallel) while leaving him and his “Inquisitorial Squad” just a puppet government and at worst (if he’s the Voldemort in this metaphor) we have to track down all deaths he (whether directly or indirectly) caused and find out if there’s any scenarios where the parents were killed and a kid survives living with relatives (and if there’s multiple, choose the one that looks the most like a young him) and gradually guide that kid from a distance to achieve his destiny and make sure he gets into some exclusive private school where he ends up meeting his two best friends and saving the world from Trump pretty much every year before finally taking him down in seven years (after this hero kid has lost pretty much everyone he cares about who’s older than him and one or two people the same age).

12. This can’t be Game Of Thrones even though George RR Martin joked about having written 2016, and not just because it isn’t set in the past (although that would be cool yet sad if Game Of Thrones was our history and reality is just an endless chain of similar events occurring, say, once every couple centuries) but because we have far fewer than seven major political families competing for power and because he has been compared to so many characters from that series that if he were somehow all of them mashed up into one fulfilling multiple roles (which helps with the lack of families etc.), he would have killed himself by now (because he’s been compared to so many people that there’s a good chance one of them has killed another one of them) to fulfill the parallel

[everlarkficexchange]

Battle Scars

Writen by: @jrheartbreaker

Prompt 36: Katniss and Peeta are friends on the verge of more. Katniss or Peeta is hesitant to take the next step until something tragic happens to the other (just not death) that pushes them to realize their feelings and commit. [submitted by @ra3lynn3]

TRIGGER WARNING!!

CONTAINS VIOLENCE AND RAPE.

Battle Scars

“Katniss! It’s the Prom. You’re telling me you really don’t want to go?” Prim asks me.

It’s hard to believe my little sister Primrose is in the 9th grade. It feels like only yesterday that she was in diapers. She’s quite popular at school. Practically everyone falls in love with her right away. Because of her naturally sweet disposition, her beautiful long, blonde hair, and her radiant, azure eyes. Not to mention her sense of humor. She is, by far, my best friend and my favorite person in the world. But we are opposite in so many ways.

“Prim, who would I go with? Gale has already graduated, and he’s going with Madge to Aspen this weekend.”

Gale is my other best friend. Most people think he’s my brother or cousin. He’s two years older than me. I’m a senior this year, which is why my kid sister, who would kill to go to any party, is trying to force into a Prom dress and heels.

I can’t wait to be out of school.

Gale’s olive complexion, brown hair and grey eyes that match my own, are the main reason everyone thinks we we’re related. Even more than that, we share the same temperament, love of outdoors, and being the oldest child in single parent families. I feel at one point, it was probably expected by our families, that we’d fall madly in love, but we could never be more than friends. He started dating Madge Undersee about 4 months ago and I’ve never seen him happier.

“Would you even have gone with Gale? Maybe he’ll put off Aspen-“

“No Prim. I don’t know why this is such a big deal to you.” I cut her off before she can suggest ruining his plans.

Madge’s great, considering her father is the Mayor and she comes from Oprah money. Gale’s mom, Hazelle Hawthorne, both of his younger brothers, Rory and Victor, Prim and I are so happy for Gale. He’s finally with someone who can put out some of his fire, when need be. Even his 7 year old, baby sister, Posy, likes Madge. Posy’s not easily won over, but a very good judge of character.

“Well, you should go… I may have even flirted with a teachers aid to procure a dress for you.” Prim states crossing her arms and sighing.

“Primrose Lilac Everdeen. What on God’s green earth are you talking about?” I question.

Where did she get a dress?

“I borrowed one from the drama’s costume department that’s just your size. Please don’t be mad… I think there’s a boy who wants to go with you, too. This guy, who I‘m pretty sure I’ve seen staring at you before, stopped Rory and I walking home the other day and asked us if I was your sister. Anyway, he was asking him to ask me. And… if you have a date to Prom! Maybe he’s gonna ask you today.” Prim squeals.

He’s probably a creeper.

She should’ve called the police.

Even if he’s not…

“I don’t want my baby sister setting me up on a date.”

“I’m technically not. But, Katniss, he’s gorgeous, blond and blue eyed, and he had on a letterman’s jacket. I don’t know him that well, but Rory does. He said he’s a really nice guy. You should give him a chance.” She says, her eyes pleading with me.

“Prim, seriously? The dance is tomorrow and I don’t have any shoes. My hair-”

“I got 20 bucks. From babysitting Posy for Hazelle last weekend… and I’ll do your hair. Come on Kat.” She whines.

Ugh, She’s giving me no outs.

“Prim you can’t use your money on me.”

“Sissy you deserve this. Mom works all the time; which leaves you here to help me with my homework, dinner every night, and you always have just enough money to get anything I need. Whether it’s supplies for projects, dance classes, or new cheerleading outfits. You’ve even magically provided me with lunch money we didn’t have, when I cried like a brat, because it wasn’t cool to have a boxed lunch anymore. You’ve given up every other school dance and so many extracurricular activity for me.”

Her voice starts quivering her eyes well up, but she pushes on. “ Please let me do this for you. Cause one day… after you move to L.A., becoming a famous singer/song writer, I won’t have many opportunities to make up for all you’ve done for me.”

Great now I’m gonna cry.

“Oh, Little Duck, you’re so sweet. I do all of those things for you because… I’m your big sister, and I love you. Thank you for believing in me, but I’m probably not going to be famous, Prim. Plus, who says I’m moving to L.A.?” I counter.

How could she know!?

“I saw the brochure and expectance letter under your bed for the Arts Academy in Hollywood. Aren’t you excited?” She asks sniffling and wiping her eyes.

“Prim, why were you? How… I’m not going there. I mean, I haven’t decided… it would be too far and it’s not even a full scholarship…”

“Katniss, you are mad talented, so stop. Stop doubting yourself. We could figure it out. Plus, your songs need to be heard. They make me feel like I could do, anything. Become anything or anyone I want. Not just some poor, fatherless girl, with a dead dad and a slightly distant mom, from Wildomar, California.”

“Okay, Sis, I’ll think about going to school The Arts Academy, but I don’t think I’m gonna go to Pro-”

“No buts… Don’t say it. You’re going to Prom, whether that guy asks you or not. That’s the end of it. I love you.” She insists, hugging me.

I drive us to school in my beat up 92’ F250 truck that barely runs. I got it from Gale. After he graduated, his mom got him a 70’ Chevelle off Craig’s List for $600.

It took him all of his summer job money, but he restored it. He painted it orange with black racing stripes. I told him he drives a Dukes of Hazzard car. Even though I later found out that car was called, The General Lee, and had a pretty inappropriate flag on the roof. He laughed at me for getting the car models confused. Either way I still call the Chevelle, Daisy, the character Jessica Simpson played in The Dukes of Hazzard movie. Gale says his car’s name is, Peaches McGee, which sounds like a country stripper’s name to me. Prim and I call the F250, Colby, since it’s a faded cobalt blue.

After dropping Prim in front of school, I park. I contemplate what I’ll make for dinner tonight since I know mom hasn’t gone grocery shopping, and we don’t get more food stamps till the first of the month. At least the rent money is in the bank. But that leaves me pretty cash poor. Grabbing my messenger bag out of the seat beside me, I head over to my friends. My main squad consists of friends I’ve mostly known since elementary school.

Annabelle Cresta and Finnick Odair are the it couple at school, probably in our district. Annie, as we call her, is as beautiful on the inside as she is out with green eyes and curly auburn hair. Finnick, who is both gorgeous and charming as hell, has green eyes, and seemingly always perfectly coifed, bronze hair. He’s like a tanner, funnier, Twilight vampire.

We have bets on if they will get married right out of high school or get pregnant before graduation because we all know they’ve been secretly in love with each other since 5th grade and they can’t keep their hands off each other. He finally got the nerve to ask her out in 9th grade. To his dismay, she said no like 80 times… even though I know for a fact; she used to doodle Mrs. Odair in all of her notebooks.

I think she said no just to make him sweat… and possibly to get back at him for flirting so shamelessly. Finnick used to tell us he would always be single, so he basically hit on anything moving, in a skirt and never actually exclusively dated a girl. But Annie told me once that he was over compensating. That it was all an act, because he thought he would get crap from other guys, for liking just one girl. When she finally said yes she would go out with him, she made him wait three more months before she let him kiss her. Serves him right. He’s been attached to her hip ever since.

Cordelia Cartwright and Thomas Mason Jr. is also a major cute couple. Delly, as she prefers to be called, is a sweetheart, but she doesn’t take crap from anybody. She used to be chubby in middle school… but one day, she showed up to school a total knock out, curves in all the right places. Her new body, blonde curls and crystal blue eyes must be Thom’s weaknesses, because he fell hard and fast for Dells.

Thom has light brown skin, hazel eyes and curly brown hair. He looks like his older sister Johanna Mason, who graduated with Gale but got pregnant and moved back home last year to have her baby boy. Thom and Delly are smitten with each other. They plan on trying the long distance thing while in college.

Bart Latier III and Wiress Hawkins… Hmm. They’re a couple. I think. They refer to each other as “lab partners” but… I know BeeTee likes Wiress, a lot. You can tell by the way he laughs at all her jokes, stares at her and walks her to all of her classes.

I even saw him once; while in conversation, in the middle of a sentence, take off her glasses, huff on them, wipe them on his shirt and put them back on her face. He didn’t even pause in his explanation of the Pythagorean theorem to Thom. She just looked at him and blinked a few times, and then went back to reading war and Peace.

Suffice it to say, both are brown eyed, brown haired, very smart, very cute, kinda nerdy, but very loyal friends.

I say what’s up to my crew when I reach them. We usually hang out in the parking lot until right before the bell rings.

Thresh Tillage, Blight Harris, and Marvel Gladstone, a few of the football hotties, is in the parking lot too. I consider them good guys and friends. But, Ugh, Glimmer and Clove, whom I don’t consider friends at all, are hanging all over those guys.

Glimmer Gladstone is Marvel’s little sister. She’s two grades below us and has always been a leggy, severely blessed on top, potential Pantene Pro-V hair commercial… bitch. Most guys fall all over themselves to talk to her, and she knows it. But she’s mean as an old, mangy cat. She doesn’t discriminate either. She’s mean to girls, to guys… to old people, little kids. Hell, she probably tortures, small animals… like a serial killer.

Her bestie “for like… ever”, Clove Fields, is just as evil but the exact opposite physically. Clove has darker features and she’s petite with no chest. Which probably fuels her perpetual bitterness. They wear skimpy clothes; too much makeup to be so young… and they think boys are meant to be their slaves.

“Hey uh… Katniss?” I hear from my right.

Huh?

Peeta Mellark pulls me out of my thoughts. He has to be the sweetest guy I’ve ever met. Always opening doors for people. Always smiling. He brings freshly baked muffins to his teachers. Not just to get good grades, either. I heard he volunteers to read books at a children’s hospital, in the cancer and burn units. Peeta’s good at art and wrestling and he’s also a football player. He’s pretty much the hottest guy I know, but doesn’t act like he knows it.

His dad owns the closest bakery (hence the bread name) and he has two older brothers who have already graduated. Peeta’s eyes, some of the prettiest blue eyes (only topped by Prim’s) that I’ve ever seen, frustratingly throw me off balance. I don’t usually get this affected by any boys. He doesn’t usually say all that much to me. So I can ignore any disturbance in the force, normally.

Even if I wish he would.

Stop just… staring at him, spaz.

Say something, duh.

“Hi Peeta, how are you?” I ask.

“Umm, good… Hi… I mean… I’m great how ‘bout you?”

Gosh, he’s cute when he’s nervous.

He runs a hand through his wavy blond locks. The other hand is pulling at his book bag strap. He looks and me at smiles.

“Hi Peeta!” Glimmer waves at him from behind us.

Skank, crack-whore.

Peeta waves at Glimmer, quickly. Then he turns back to me. I laugh because behind her, Finnick is making faces at me. Annie smacks his arm.

“I’m good too, but the bell is gonna ring soon. Let’s walk and talk okay?” I suggest and grab Peeta by the letterman jacket, pulling him towards our first period class.

Peeta and I have most of the same classes. He probably just needs my notes.

“Okay. I think you… uh… are really, NICE, Katniss. You… we have class together. And you’re really smart.” Peeta says.

We stop walking. I let go of his jacket. He glances down, possibly at my bag. So I guess this is about class notes. Then out of nowhere…

“Everdeen. Baby. You’re killing me. Why you look so sexy in those jeans? You should get locked up for looking so damn good in those jeans. You know that?” Cato Johnson says stepping in my path.

What?

Cato seems to be talking to me, and, well, hitting on me. I look at Peeta, who looks just as shocked as I am, but shrugs and looks down again. So I turn back to Cato.

Cato isn’t a friend or an enemy. He’s just a guy who most people would call popular and easy on the eyes. He’s so tall and buff for his age; he looks like an undercover narc. He also happens to be captain of the football team. Typical jock.

Never really talked to the guy. We have some classes together. I heard a rumor that a girl got caught hunching with him in the teachers lounge once in 10th grade. But there’s so much gossip at this school, you never know what’s real and not real. Cato would be attractive if it weren’t for his ego.

“What do you want? And why are you using those tired ass lines on me, Johnson?” I shoot at him.

I hear a couple of, ooohs and aw mans, in the background. Along with some chucking from my friends who just walked up. A little crowd is forming.

Crap, I don’t need an audience to egg whatever this is on.

“Kat? Why you gotta cut me down, in front of everyone? I think you are the bomb-dot-com.” He says all Rico Suave like.

Cue over exaggerated eye roll.

Cato grabs one of my hands and puts it on his chest feigning heartbreak. This kind of stuff happens all day. Just not usually to me.

"Okay. I’ll bite. What do you want?” I say squinting my eyes at him.

He must’ve lost a bet or something.

“Just what I said. I like you Everdeen. You’re cool and sexy. I want to take you out.” He sounds crazily sincere.

What the hell is going on here?

I feel like I’m being punk’d.

Where’s Ashton Kutcher?

“You wanna take… ME? Out? Where?” I ask stupefied.

“How, bout… to Prom?” Cato says, smiling from ear to ear.

Ho-ly Crap.

Is he the boy Prim was talking about?

She wasn’t making it up.

Holy Crap.

“Uh, uh… to prom? With you to…” I start.

“To-morrow night. Yeah. Come on. Say you’ll go with me. Please?” He practically begs, getting down on one knee.

He pulls out a single red rose from his letterman jacket. Swooning is heard from the girls standing around watching. My heart is beating in my ears. I don’t even know Cato that well. I mean, we know of each other. But…

Prim’s voice is in my head.

You’re going, and that’s the end of it!

I look around at my friends to see that Annie and Delly are stunned. Finnick looks nonchalant about the whole thing. Peeta looks like he’s going to be sick or something.

What do I do?

What should I do?

Drake says, “You only live once”, right?

“O-kay. Ok. Sure.” I say blushing and biting my bottom lip.

“Yeah?” He stands up and picks me up in a hug, swinging me around.

Clapping and woots are heard in the background. As he sets me down, my hands are around his neck and he kisses my cheek. Then pecks my lips. I don’t have time to respond.

“Class everyone!” The assistant principal yells and kids disperse.

“I better get to class.” I say softly.

“See you later, sweet cheeks.” Cato says.

Embarrassed, I let my arms fall to my bag. He walks away from me backwards, with a huge smile on his face. Then he turns and high fives two of his teammates.

Did that just happen?

I hurry to class and sit down. I’m still not sure if I made the right decision. But also, I’m sort of floating.

He asked me to Prom.

In front of a bunch of people.

“So? You and Cato, huh?” Peeta snaps me back to reality for a second time today.

Oh yeah, he probably still needs my notes.

“Sorry, Peeta. Yeah. I guess. I didn’t know he even liked me.”

“Well. What’s not to like?” He says so quietly, I almost ask him to repeat it, to be sure.

“Did you need my no-”?

"Miss Everdeen! Is my class taking up your social time?” Mrs. Leeg asks me.

“No, Mam’.” I say.

Busted.

Peeta looks and mouths at “sorry”, me. I give him a small smile and try my best to pay attention to the lesson.

Just like she promised, Prim does my hair. We found some cute shoes for $12.99, and the dress she borrowed, fits me like a glove. It’s a pretty, shimmery coral color. Right now she’s doing my makeup.

“Katniss! Hold still. Just… don’t blink for a minute.” Prim scolds me.

“Okay, I’m trying. I think you put everything in this makeup bag on my face. Are you sure my hair needs hair spray? I never use that stuff. Isn’t it bad for the ozone or something?” I ask feeling more nervous than I’ll admit to.

Prim laughs and shakes her head. I’m actually grateful to have my sister helping me. I just think people put too much money, time, and effort into these things. I don’t like being fussed over and I’ve been sitting in a chair, in a hot bathroom, for over an hour.

“Dare I say it?”

“Please, dare to.” I beg cracking my neck a little.

“You… wait… okay. You’re done!” Prim squeals eyes all lit up, clapping her hands.

“Bout freaking time. Oh, hand me my phone I gotta check and see if my date texted me. He was going to pick me up, but I told him I could meet him at the school.” I tell her.

Cato doesn’t really need to see where I live. Our house is old and small and the neighborhood is not like his; I’m sure. We have people selling on the corner and cars put on blocks every other week.

I see he just texted me.

Cato- Ur 2 sexy not 2 b picked up. But if u want 2 meet there itz cool. (-:

He texts like a 14-year-old girl.

Katniss- I do. I’m hitching a ride with my friends.

He replies right back.

Cato- Ur wish is my command. Pretty lady.

Ok. I’ll admit. That was cute.

Katniss- See u soon :)

I can’t believe I’m really going to Prom. I’ve never danced in front of anyone before. I hope Cato isn’t like some professional dancer or something.

“Oooh he seems sweet. With the whole, ‘wish is my command thing’. Like in The Princess Bride movie.” Prim sighs.

"Stop reading over my shoulder goober. Besides, Wesley says, ‘As you wish’ to Buttercup.” Also, he’s okay as a first date for me. I mean… it’s just one dance. We’ll see how it goes.” I explain.

“Well, with that attitude? He must be super excited.” She laughs. “Just promise me you’ll try to have fun and loosen up. As someone wise once said, these are the moments of our lives.”

“Okay, Little Duck. One; that is from a commercial for coffee, and two, it’s, ‘Celebrate the moments of our lives’.”

"Semantics, Kat.”

“Plus, I don’t need to loosen up. I have plenty of fun.” I point out scowling.

“Sure you’re tons of fun. Just have more fun than usual, mmkay. And don’t make that face you’ll mess up my masterpiece.”

What? I’m fun.

“Whatever Prim. Can you help me put my dress on? Finnick and Annie and the rest of the crew are picking me up soon.” I say.

BeeTee suggested that everyone chip in to get a stretch limo. I told them not to worry about me, because I don’t have the money.

Story of my life.

Of course they insisted I don’t need to pay, and that they’ll pick me up, because Thom’s house is so close to mine.

The rest of the gang literally lives on the other side of the tracks, like literal railroad tracks. “The upper half”, meaning, most of their parents are doctors and lawyers that make six figures a year. Or they are at least college graduates. My mom is not quite so well paid. She’s a Licensed Vocational Nurse and has been for the passed 13 years, with a long break after my dad’s sudden death of a Cerebral Aneurism when he was 27. He was an archery teacher at a college, with no life insurance. I was eight. Prim was four, almost five. She barely remembers him. My mom almost didn’t recover from the depression of losing him. So she didn’t work for about 5 years.

Gale’s family lost his dad to a fire about two years later. He loved being a firefighter, but we were all sad he never got to meet Posy. She was born after he passed. The Hawthornes really helped us till my mom came out of the fog she walked around in. I sort of took the role of mom when it came to Prim. It taught me having to take care of someone else is tough. Between Prim and watching other neighborhood kids, I’m unsure I ever want kids of my own. They are loud, usually sticky or wet and always hungry.

So I’ve pretty much managed to steer clear of dating boys. Till now. I throw myself into working at Sam’s music store and writing music since, that’s what I want to do. I’ve worked at a couple fast food places, when times were tough and we needed extra money.

I used to volunteer at the church soup kitchen. They always let Prim and I eat for free; and it makes you feel good to do for others when you are feeling like you’ve hit rock bottom.

Needless to say, we’ve been pretty poor most of our lives. But no one really knows. I would hate to see the pity on their faces and I don’t like owing people. It’s something I’m working on. Annie and Delly keep telling me that we all need people and that I push people away trying to be so independent.

“You look great. My baby’s all grow‘d up. Mom… she wanted to be here. But I told her it was okay. She would probably make you more nervous anyway.” Prom says snapping pics with her phone.

It’s only my first real date ever.

Why would I need my mom?

I kiss Prim goodbye, before I do something stupid like cry. I grab my purse and make the quick walk to Thom’s house.

“Hey Katniss! Dem fake lashes though. You look so glam.” Rue says to me.

Thom’s little sister Rue, is the same age as Prim and they’ve been best friends since they could walk. Rue is sitting on her porch holding her baby nephew.

“Thanks. Your partner in crime did my hair and makeup, so you know, I’m uncomfortable.” I say making her giggle.

“Thom will be out in a minute. He’s looking up videos on YouTube on how to tie a fancy bow tie.” Rue informs me.

“Okay. I’ll wait out here.” I say sitting next to her playing with C.J’s little feet. “He’s getting so big. Where’s Jo?”

Jo named her son Cori Junior Mason. But as far as I know, no one knows who Cori Senior is or his last name since the baby has hers. I don’t like to pry, so I’ve never asked Jo what the deal was with her baby daddy.

“She had to work as usual. But I only have to keep Cori until my mom gets off. Then I’m going to your house to hang out with P.” Rue says.

“Okay she has money for pizza. My mom should be home by eleven and no inviting over Vic and Rory. I don’t care if they claim they need to do homework with you, need to borrow a book, a pencil or pen, blah, blah, blah. Hawthorne’s are banned.” I warn.

“Katniss it was only that one time, I swear.” Rue tries to explain turning pink in the cheeks. “Vic said he and Rory couldn’t go home cause they got detention and Gale was gonna tar and feather them.”

“Yeah but when I got there you and Vic were on the couch, in the dark. And P and Rory were in her room, with the door closed. If you don’t want me to tell Rooba, Hazelle, and my mom, it best not happen again. You’re a smart girl. You’re holding what one of the consequences to being alone with boys can be.” I scold.

“We know. We know. Even though you didn’t tell our mom’s; Gale, Thom, Jo and Madge gave all four of us the talk shortly after. It was so embarrassing.” Rue blushes harder.

I got left out of that talk seeing as how I haven’t done what’s in the talk.

“Well, I said I wouldn’t tell your moms. I never promised I wouldn’t tell my back up.” I laugh.

“Ok, Rue, be good. Go on in. I got CJ’s bottle ready. Oh, hey Kat. Wow! Durn girl! Who knew you could be so hot.” Thom teases me.

“Yeah, sure. Compared to Dells?” I joke back.

“Well, you could be a close second.” He laughs boasting. “Ha-ha. My lady is pretty fly. No denying that.”

I hear the honking a block away from Thom’s house. The limo is white and gaudy. But it is Prom. My friends are such goofballs. They are hanging out of the windows and sunroof. They all look fantastic though.

“Hi baby. You are so cute in your tux. OMG! Katniss is that you? Picture, I need photographic evidence. Let’s take a picture everyone!” Delly screams when she sees us.

“You look so pretty.” Annie and Wiress tell me at the same time.

“You two, too.” I respond laughing.

Everyone hops out of the limo and starts pairing up on the Mason’s front lawn. Annie and Finn, BeeTee and Wiress, Dells and Thom. Annie is in aquamarine. Delly is wearing golden yellow. Wiress’ dress is a shimmery purple. And their respective dates are matching, with their ties, or bow ties and or, their cumber buns.

Crap! I’m the only one without my date.

Wait Peeta is alone too.

Posy runs over to us and I’m about to ask where her mom is when Peeta scoops her up.

“My brother said I can be your date since you don’t have one.” Posy tells him.

“P where’s Rory? You shouldn’t be out here by yourself.” Peeta tells her.

How do they even know each other?

I see Vic looking at the scene making sure Posy got here okay. He and Thom share a head nod. Vic walked her over but stayed back a few feet and is now heading back in the direction of the Hawthorne residence.

“I got her. She’s going to my house with Rue.” Thom says.

We aww and laugh at Posy, first for holding Peeta super tight, and not wanting to let him go. Then at her kissing his cheek before being dragged away by Thom.

Peeta comes over to me looking more handsome than I’ve ever seen him. His usually unruly blond curls are slicked back with gel. His suit is matte black. His jacket is unbuttoned revealing a matching vest. It’s the tie that catches my eye. It’s like an orange sunset color.

Funny, we sorta match.

“Hi.” He says to me with a smile on his face.

“Hey.” I say and we share an awkward half hug.

Man, he smells amazing.

“So your date is very young.” I tease.

“Oh, yeah P is my girl. Her best friend from school has cancer and I go the hospital she in to read a couple weekends a month. Rory and Posy go visit sometimes, so we got pretty acquainted.”

So true rumor.

“That’s so… awesome and really, really, sweet.” I gush stupidly.

Shoot me now, for social awkwardness.

“It’s no big deal, really. Anybody can volunteer. I mean you could do it… if you want. Anybody can, um. If they want to.” He rambles cutely.

“That’s so nice. You’re such a nice guy Peet. Tell me again. Why don’t you have a date, man?” Finnick teases him.

Peeta turns red and shoots Fin a look. Then he sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Well, I was gonna ask someone. But she got asked already.” Peeta says.

“Peet, stand next to Kat. She is solo for now too. Just so the picture is even and looks good.“ Annie says winking at me.

"Okay ladies, in front of the guys… yeah. Like that.” Delly orders.

She fixes all of us and pushes Peeta and I together so that my back is against his chest. He wraps his arms around my waist pulling me closer. I feel a warm tingly feeling that starts in my head and travels down to my toes. I don’t know where to put my hands at first. But I finally end up crossing my wrists and placing them on top of his clasped hands, which are up against my stomach.

Whoa! Butterflies.

Jeesh, what am I? Thirteen?

The driver takes the photo on Finn’s phone. And then everyone yells, “My phone too!” So we’re standing in this position for like 10 minutes laughing every time someone says, “Wait! Do-over. I blinked!” or “Finn, stop tickling me!” or “Put your tongue in your mouth, Tommy, and smile!”

"So… you look beautiful. I, uh… hope… hope you have a good time tonight.” Peeta says quietly in my ear.

Lord, love a duck!

He’s so freakin’ cute.

He has to lean down a little to reach cause he’s got about four inches on me. I get goose bumps on the side of my neck. I turn my head and say thank you, realizing my face is so close to his that our cheeks brush against each other’s, making me blush beet red. Peeta turns to look at me.

Boy, stop looking at me with those gorgeous eyes.

He looks forward again. Then I take the opportunity to attempt to hide my blush by quickly looking forward as well. But, it doesn’t help. Because, my lips brush his cheek on the way back front, as I begin to turn around. I’m pretty sure; the flash of a camera phone goes off at that exact moment.

Maybe he didn’t feel it?

“You guys all make great couples. Especially you two lovebirds, in the orange, I can feel the love when you look at each other.” The limo driver says.

Comments are unnecessary dude.

“Oh they aren’t a couple… Wait are you? What about Cato?” Delly accuses smiling.

OMG! How embarrassing.

I quickly let go of Peeta and walk out of his grasp. He looks lobster red in the face and a little angry, maybe.

Is it that hard for him to imagine us as a couple?

Six years ago, I would have been thrilled to have someone say that about us. I had a bit of a crush on him in the 6th grade but I kept it to myself. I figured, why waste my time? I’m from the wrong side of town. I had my sister to take care of. He probably would’ve laughed and so would everyone else have. I think Annie figured it out, but she never said anything. And I’ve moved on… or so I thought.

We thank the driver, pile into the limo, and make our way to the school gymnasium. I wish I‘d eaten something more substantial than ramen for dinner as we all laugh about our first time being in a limo. Well, it’s most of our first times being in one. I guess Peeta, Delly and Finnick have all ridden in one before.

“You and Peeta were super-cute in those pictures.” Wiress tells me quietly.

“He was just being nice. He’s nice to everyone.” I rationalize. “I didn’t know he was gonna ask someone to Prom. Do you know who it was?”

I’m practically whispering so no one tries to make a thing out of my curiosity.

“Apparently a friend, he’s liked forever according to BeeTee, ouch!” Wiress says but BeeTee who she’s sitting next to bumps her arm with his arm accidentally.

He apologizes quietly.

“Who I think he heard from Marvel, who I think heard from somebody at a different school. So basically, no I don’t know for 100 percent certainty. But maybe you should ask Finnick.” She finishes.

“Oh, well that’s too bad she was unavailable.” I try to sound aloof.

It’s a less then twenty-minute ride and when we get out, we see Glimmer and Clove standing near Marvel, Blight, and Thresh.

Those little hoochies are dressed in what are supposed to be prom dresses. But they aren’t seniors… nor are they dating any seniors. Plus, their outfits barely cover their ass.

“What are they doing here?” Delly asks no one in particular.

“Hag alert.” Clove announces.

“I know right? Hold on I’m gonna to snap that. So clev Clove.” Glimmer says laughing but not even looking up from her phone.

“Oh, I know you two jail bait, skank-a-licious, trash-boxes, ain’t talking to us.” Delly points a finger at them.

Delly looks them up and down and puts her palms up in both their faces. Essentially shutting up Clove, from coming back with something smart.

“Uhn uh. Save it. Move heifas.” Delly quips walking by.

Thom, Finn, Annie, Wiress, and BeeTee follow her laughing. Peeta is right behind me. I can tell because I can feel the warmth radiating off him.

Is he waiting for me to go in?

“Marv? Are you gonna let her talk to us that way?” Glimmer whines to her brother, sounding indignant.

“Sis, I told you. I’m not buying your ticket or taking you in with me. So, unless you two find dates… go home. That way, Dells can’t rip you a new one every time you run your mouth.” Marvel jokes.

Just then a pretty brunette walks over to Marvel. He turns, puts an arm around her, and they go into the building.

“Blighty Whitey, won’t you take pity on us and take us in with you?” Clove begs.

“Are you really a trash-box? Cause I could be into that.” Blight and Thresh laugh as she sticks her tongue out at him.

“There you are beautiful.” I hear Cato say before I can see him.

He is dressed in a black 007-type tuxedo. He cleans up well, I might add. He’s walking across the parking lot and winks at me.

Will I never stop blushing tonight?

“Yup, here I am.” I say lamely and smile.

“If you need anything… just say so.” Peeta tells me quietly as Cato walks towards us.

Peeta backs away from me and walks over to Thresh. Cato hugs me, and then latches my arm onto his. Next thing I know, he’s ushering me towards the entrance of the gym.

I look back over my shoulder and nod my understanding at Peeta. He shoots me a half smile. Glimmer cuts off my view of him. Probably trying to flirt her way in with Peeta.

Haha, fat chance of that… Hoe in training.

Cato pulls out our tickets as we walk into the menagerie of streamers and balloons that take up half of the gym. There is a table with punch and refreshments, and a DJ booth way over in the corner. Some tables and chairs are setup with people sitting at them talking and laughing. Right in the center of everything is the dance floor. The lights are beautiful. It’s dim lighting, but every color imaginable is dancing off the walls.

“So, you wanna dance or would you like a drink first?” Cato asks me.

Some people are dancing already, but not many. I definitely need time to prepare for that.

"Umm, I’m not a very good dancing-”

“Hey! What up C? This her? The one you caught the other day? Damn dude! She’s wavy.” Some random guy I’ve never seen says to Cato, giving him a low five that turns into a weird bros handshake.

“Yeah this is my hottie, Kat.” Cato brags.

“Uh, Katniss, actually.” I say and put my hand out to the stranger.

He has long blond hair. So blond it’s almost white… white as snow. Then it hits me. This guys name is Snow. I remember him getting teased in elementary school by some older kids.

He started using the nickname they gave him to introduce himself. Then they didn’t have anything to tease him about. Glad he figured out a way to deal with those bullies before he got all messed up.

“You can call me Snow. C-Dog here is my cousin, actually, so don’t you go breaking his heart. All right now, Kitty Kat? Cato and Kitty. I can see the invitations to the wedding now.” Snow laughs and gives me a wicked grin.

I pull my hand away. Okay, I jumped the gun on that one. Maybe he’s not the, take the higher road, well adjusted type that I thought he was.

He’s a little creepy actually.

“Too fast cuz. Let’s get through tonight, first.” Cato says laughing almost as menacingly as Snow, but then smiles sweetly at me and squeezes my hand.

“I see my friends acting stupid over there. Cato, I’ll just go tell them I found you and get some punch. It was nice meeting you, Snow.” I say trying to sound convincing.

“You too Kitty.”

It really wasn’t all that nice. He thinks I’m something you catch. He won’t say my name right, and he’s picking out our wedding invites after one date.

Cato catches me off guard and pulls me in for a kiss. It’s not long; but he brushes his tongue across my lips and I gasp, causing my mouth to open a bit and he smiles.

He tastes like peppermint, but with a hint of alcohol? He’s underage. Where would he get booze? Ugh, probably Snow. I step back, but leave my hand on his chest so he doesn’t feel rejected that I pulled away so soon. I can tell he enjoyed the brief kiss.

“Sure thing, sugar lips… I’ll be here waiting.” Cato promises.

As I walk away his cousin says, “Damn, Cuz.”

I walk away, faster.

Creep.

When I spot my friends, I contemplate asking them if it’s a bad sign that Cato may have already started drinking. But decide not to and tell Wiress how lovely her purple dress is. Out of my Peripherals, I see Glimmer clutching Peeta’s arm walking towards us.

What the actual freak?

“Hey there Cathey.” Glimmer purposely mispronounces my name.

Oh, no she didn’t.

“It’s Kat-Niss.” I pronounce like I’m explaining it to a toddler.

Oh, that’s right, I am.

“What Evers. Totes, literally.” Glimmer states so eloquently.

Ditz.

Why is Peeta with her?

Why am I so pissed about it?

“Peeta, I’m going to get some punch would you like some?” Glimmer asks him, which is shocking since she never does anything for anyone else.

“Yeah, that’d be great. Thanks.” Peeta says smiling at her.

She bats her eyes at him like she’s in a 2005 Mariah Carey music video.

Ugh! Stop it!

“Peeta, don’t tell me you brought her in with you?” Wiress asks before I can, as soon as Glimmer walks away.

“Wiress, come on, I didn’t have a date. The girl I was gonna ask, already had a date, so just let me… enjoy my Prom. No judgement, please.” He responds causing Wiress to look ashamed and nod.

“I just don’t see why you would want to even hang around wi-” I start.

“Don’t Katniss! Okay. You’re here with Johnson, right? So just go… be with him.” Peeta practically yells at me.

Then he turns and walks away, leaving Wiress and I slack jawed and dumbfounded.

What the hell was that about?

I walk back over to Cato where he’s surrounded by a group of cheerleaders and jocks. I almost turn back around, but he quickly walks over to me and snags my wrist gently.

“Hey gorgeous. Where you off to? We were just discussing the fact that you and I are probably gonna win Prom King and Queen.” He says cockily.

He must be joking.

“But I’m not even in the running.” I state confused.

“Sure you are. I nominated you as soon as you agreed to come with me yesterday; and everyone is saying how official we are as a couple. I can’t wait to beat Finnick and Annie. I bet they think that they have it in the bag already. But we’re gonna give them a run for their money. Right?” Cato asks sounding excited.

He did ask me to Prom and he did buy my ticket. He seems really anxious to win. The least I could do is try for him.

“Okay. Well, what do we do then?” I ask biting my bottom lip.

“Well first, stop biting your lip. It’s too damn sexy.” He smiles and grabs both of my hands, pulling me to a table far away from everyone.

“And second, take a swig of this.” Cato takes a silver flask from his jacket pocket and hands it to me discreetly.

Hold up. What?

“I… What is it?” I question.

“Liquid courage.”

I just stare at him.

“It’s just Bacardi 151. That’s a kind of rum. Don’t worry. I’ll take care of you.” He says pushing it closer to my mouth.

Am I seriously about to do this?

I have had alcohol once before in my life. It was with Gale. But he only let me have a tiny sip.

This is only a little too, right?

Cato says he’ll take care of me.

I take a medium gulp and it burns going down my throat. I try not to wince in pain, but it’s just so strong. I’m coughing when Cato hands me water, so I down the whole cup and burp very un-ladylike. I cover my mouth and say excuse me. He just chuckles like he’s proud and then hands me some minty gum.

“Thanks?”

I suddenly feel very loose and tingly.

“No prob babe. Follow me.” He says raising an eyebrow.

We mingle with most of the patrons at the prom for about an hour. I’m introduced to a ton of people, and told a bunch of names, I’ll never remember. When we get around my friends they all make an effort to be nice to Cato.

But where’s Peeta?

When Cato pretty much tells my crew to vote for us, I’m embarrassed. But Finnick tells us he hopes we win. Then Cato drags me to the corner again to take another swig of his jacket juice. It burns a bit less this time. Cato then escorts me to the dance floor. He’s a really good dancer on his own. But he gets so close to me and grabs my waist rocking my hips. I didn’t know I had this much rhythm. I slowly start to gain confidence.

Yeah, I got this.

After the floor gets packed we start grinding into each other, my back to his front. I attempt to do what I’ve seen on TV and YouTube. Cato seems very pleased. My friends, who are dancing nearby are fluctuating between shock and admiration at my booty popping skills. I have to admit I’m actually having fun.

“I’m gonna go to the, um ladies room.” I tell him in his ear.

Cato turns his face and kisses me more passionately then he did before. But again I back away. I smile and he lets me go.

“Hurry back, sexy.” He says.

I’m not sure how I feel about all of these kisses. It all seems so fast.

Should I be kissing him? It is a date.

I try to make my way through the crowd. It’s jam-packed and sweltering in here. It takes me a couple minutes to get off the dance floor, and now I’m feeling kinda fuzzy. My girls must notice, and see me walking towards the restrooms. They’re close behind.

“Katniss! Look at you having fun!” Annie says grinning.

Boo Yow! Ha! Primmy!

Who says I’m not fun?

Not trusting my voice I just smile and high five her. They are all looking in the mirror, adjusting straps hairpins or makeup.

“Delly is a little jealous you can twerk it like that.” Wiress laughs.

“I am not! My boyfriend is half black and I keep him sat-is-fied. So, obviously, I can shake what my momma gave me good enough. But Katniss is doing alright.” Delly clarifies.

“Yeah I’m am!” I shout while waiting for a stall door to open.

We all laugh super hard and then it’s finally my turn to pee. They all take more time to fix their makeup, talk about after parties and check each other for tissue paper on the bottom of their shoes. Then leave telling me they’ll meet me on the dance floor. I think I pee for almost three minutes straight. As I go to wash my hands, I feel much more unsteady then I did before.

Maybe it’s because I haven’t eaten much.

Ah well.

On the way back to Cato, I bump into Peeta and Glimmer who are dancing at the edge of the crowd.

“Are you alright?” Peeta asks.

“You not maddat me inymore?”

I sound weird. I feel weird too.

“Uch! Peety! She got sweat on my arm.” Glimmer pouts.

Shut up trick!

“Yeah, Kat, you don’t look so good. I’m gonna help her get some water, Glim. I’ll be right back.” Peeta yells over the music.

Ha ha ha! Suck it, Trabeck!

She looks pissed and walks away. Peeta helps me to a table, where we sit. He gives me a cold water bottle to drink and holds one on my neck.

“You shood go back to yer jailbait. Don’ worry bout me. Ine all good.” I slur a little batting his hand trying feel my forehead away.

Drink the water. Don’t spill it. Good.

“You are not all good. You’ve been drinking? Did that fuc- Did that tool give you alcohol?” Peeta questions me.

Damn! He can tell.

“Noo! I juss haded like one skwig! We wanna be pom kink and queent. You don’ know how mush I neededed to re-laacks. I don’ dantce.” I sit up and try to speak more clearly.

“You don’t drink either. But you seem to not have any trouble shaking your ass.” Peeta scolds.

He closes his eyes while pinching the bridge of his nose. He lets out an exasperated sigh.

“Who er you… my dad? I got go pee-pee, Pee-ta.” I laugh at my hilarious joke.

He didn’t find it funny. I wobbly get up from the table, but he captures my hand in his before I can walk away. I look into his bright blue eyes. For the second time tonight it gives me butterflies. I hiccup.

I’m trying to be mad at you.

“Hold on. I just… I don’t like that guy for you. You deserve better and he isn’t as nice a guy as you think. Just be careful. Okay?” Peeta sounds like he’s talking through glass as I yank my hand free and scowl at him.

How dare he judge my date? He’s here with Glimmer.

“I said Ine good. You c-careful nodda get herpees! Yeah? Or scabies, fromm yer date. Unkay? Cado is showin’ me good time an an he assed me. Not you. So whaddayou care?” I stammer walking away from him.

“Hey babe… there you are. Thought I was going to have to send out search and rescue for you. They’re gonna announce the King and Queen soon.” Cato tells me.

Okay, gotta keep it together.

“Ca I hafe s'more gum an iss my maketup runnin’?”

Cato looks at me, and tilts my face gently in both of his hands. I can feel his breath on my face, but it’s cool and nice. He wipes under my eyes with his thumbs and kisses me on the nose sweetly.

Huh. See Mellark. Cato’s definitely better than Glimmer.

“There. All better. Okay? Just hold on to me.” Cato reassures me.

I eat some chips and drink a lot more water. One more bathroom break and I feel myself getting back to normal.

After an announcement by the assistant principle, asking the nominee finalists to step forward I start to get nervous, I’m gonna fall like in the Miss Congeniality movie. It’s myself, Annie, some girl on student council, and the varsity head cheerleader. The guys are Finn, Cato, Thresh, and Peeta.

What the?

We have more waiting around to do as they talk about each of us. People clap and shout out their favorites. I’m still a little shocked to be up here. Then it’s time to reveal the winners.

“And your 2013 Prom King is Finnick Odair! And his Queen is Annabelle Cresta!” Mr. Plutarch says.

Yay! I’m happy for them.

There is a ton of applause. Cato looks at me. I see the disappointment, frustration and confusion on his face.

“The runners up are Peeta Mellark… and Katniss Everdeen!” Mr. Plutarch announces.

Holy shit!

If anything it should be Cato and I. But it really shouldn’t even be me at all. Not even in second place.

They place a sash across our chests. This is all very sobering. Now when I look at Cato’s face, all I see is frustration. They give Cato and the head cheerleader third place sashes and flowers, and fourth place to Thresh and the last girl.

After the applause dies down, we are expected to dance with our respective win mates. Mine being Peeta, I automatically wrap my arm around his offered arm and he escorts me to the floor where the lights are shining on us.

I can’t believe this.

But I do love this song by Jason Mraz.

He puts a hand on the small of my back. I rest mine on his shoulder. Our other hands intertwine. We start moving and a couple of camera flashes go off.

Everyone’s looking. Please don’t let me fall.

“I didn’t even know I was nominated.” Peeta quietly admits.

“Yeah, me either, until tonight. Cato put my name in after I agreed to go with him. Look, I’m really sorry for earlier. You’re right. I do not drink. And I shouldn’t have tonight but I’m just so… it’s just. I don’t fit in to things, socially speaking. I don’t live in the right part of town. I wanted to relax and enjoy this because I don’t usually get to. It’s my last chance and my sister made me promise to try. But I shouldn’t have been mean to you and I’m sorry.” I apologize.

“Don’t apologize. It’s fine, whatever you do. I shouldn’t have been in your business. I should have just asked you to Prom.”

“Me?”

“I mean, if… if I wanted to be worried about you so much. I just didn’t… I wasn’t sure you’d say yes… to anyone. Especially to Cato… I mean he’s not even in our group of friends. You know? Anyway, you look phenomenal. Your sister was right. You should enjoy this night. Sorry I’ve been ruining it.” He tells me sincerely.

Aw. You’re not.

“Well, I wouldn’t say you ruined it. I’m enjoying myself right now. And I might have said yes if you had asked me, Peeta.”

I can’t meet his eyes after admitting that out loud. He lets go of my back and tips my chin up to make me look him in the eyes.

Those damned transcending blue eyes.

“Is it too late? To ask you out on a date I mean?” He asks smiling.

I here the words, but I can’t be sure I didn’t just make them up. He definitely looks serious and nervously nibbles the inside of his bottom lip.

“Can I cut in?” Cato asks sounding irritated and his eyes are glossy.

Damn.

“I… umm. Cato, I’m sorry we didn’t win like you had hoped.” I say not knowing what else to say.

“That’s okay, doll. How could you know, right?” He says but I sense something off about him.

I want to say, I don’t want to dance with him, so that I can stay right here in Peeta’s arms. But I feel obligated.

“I’ll just, see you later Katniss.” Peeta relents.

Though his eyes are asking me if I’m sure he should let go. I drop my hands and he lets go of me backing up a few steps. As he’s leaving, I think about the answer to his question.

No, it’s not too late. Ask me right now!

“Hey Peeta? No.” Is all I say and he smiles and nods.

“What was that about?” Cato asks as he starts walking me in the opposite direction.

The fact that I’d rather be with him.

“Oh, he just asked me a question. So I told him no.” I tell Cato hoping he doesn’t ask what the question was.

“Good, the answer was no, so he probably got the hint.” He says continuing to lead me away from everyone.

Only now he’s got an arm around my shoulder and is leaning slightly on me for support. We cut through a big group heading out the dance floor for a popular song.

“Where are we going?” I ask as we leave the gym, heading down the school hallway.

“I’m so upset about losing. I just want to get some air, if that’s okay?” He asks looking so sad.

Poor guy.

As cocky as he tries to act, it’s refreshing to see him humbled and vulnerable.

“Hey, it’s okay. Cato, you’re a really popular guy. I mean, you’ll be on dozens of pages in the yearbook and everyone will write about how awesome it was to know you.” I try to cheer him up.

He smiles at me and I notice his brow is full of sweat. If he’s not feeling well, maybe I can get him to call it an early night.

“I think it’s awesome to know you. Thank you for coming with me to prom. You look so hot in that dress. I just want to take it off you.” Cato admits slanting more into me as I struggle to hold him upright.

Okay. You must still be drunk.

“Whoa there, Tiger. That’s getting a little ahead of ourselves.” I caution.

I didn’t notice how far down the hall we’ve walked till now. I can barely hear the bass of the music.

“Katniss. I just feel such a connection with you.” He says as he starts kissing my neck.

Although it doesn’t feel bad, it doesn’t quite feel good either. He pushes me up against a wall. I put my hands up on his shoulders try to keep some space between us, but he slumps into me and he’s solid and heavy.

All right. How to let him down gently?

“Cato maybe… we… should go back to the rest of the-”

“Maybe you should shut the hell up. I think you should show my cousin the good time he deserves for bringing you to the prom. Even though you lost the crown for him.” It’s Snow.

Where the hell did he come from?

Snow is standing in a shadowy part of the hallway to the right of us. Cato stops kissing me but doesn’t loosen his grip on me.

“Hey! Let go. And what do you mean the good time he deserves? I’m going back to the gym. Cato! Let up!” I say as forcefully as I can while pushing Cato hard on the chest and arms, to no avail.

Snow walks closer to us.

Stay the hell away from me Creep!

“I really like you. Can’t you see that?” Cato asks distracting me, smiling with a scary look in his eyes.

To think, they are just as blue as Peeta’s. But they aren’t nearly as warm and beautiful.

Okay, Cato, let me loose. You like me, but I don’t like you that way.

“Getting all snugly with that Mellark asshole. Did he bring you to prom or did Cato?” Snow questions.

You’re an asshole!

I start getting scared for real. Surely these two idiots know that my friends will be looking for me. Then suddenly… without warning, Snow puts his hand over my mouth. I try to get away from Cato but he has my arms locked down and he’s too strong. I try to scream, but Snow has my mouth covered with some kind of cloth.

No! Get off me!

Cato picks me up and carries me into a room. The cloth, I realize is my runners up sash, is pushed far into my mouth, so every scream is muffled and makes me gag a little. They close the door and Snow stands outside of it. I hear the click as Cato locks it and the tears begin to fall down my face.

Fight him!

I’m kicking my feet as hard as I can, but Cato just keeps walking me over to a couch. When he puts me down I think I can try to kick him, but he sits on me faster than I thought he could move and grabs my wrists.

This isn’t happening…

Please…

This can’t be happening.

My eyes burn from makeup getting muddled with my tears. One of my eyes can’t fully open, and my jaw and throat ache from the gag and screaming. But that’s nothing to the way I hurt inside.

By the time he was done with me, I had passed out twice. Once from the pain and shock of him taking my virginity.

The second time was after I awoke to him moving above me. I tried to push him off me. I scratched him across the cheek, so he punched me hard in the face. Then he smothered my face with a nearby pillow.

I thought I died… I wanted to die… The odds weren’t in my favor.

He must’ve thought he killed me too, because now that I’m starting to wake, I hear voices.

“You weren’t supposed to kill her. Just show her a good time, you idiot! Now how are we gonna get her body out of here?”

Snow…

“I’m sorry! She got me good. Feisty bitch. I just saw the pillow and wanted her to be still, so that I could finish without her struggling.”

I’m gonna throw up.

“She was feisty wasn’t she? Damn Cuz.”

Then I hear laughing. Looking at my surroundings, I realize I’m in the teachers’ lounge. Tears threaten to fall, but I keep my breaths shallow so I don’t attract their attention.

It’s very dimly lit, but I see another door at the other end of the room, away from them. I carefully assess my injuries and decide it’s worth trying to make a run for it.

Snow has his back to me, and Cato is about to poke his head out of the closest door to look out into the hallway.

Katniss, it’s your only chance…

They’ll kill you to keep from going to jail!

Prim needs you…

Run…

Now!

“Hey! Get back here!”

Snow and Cato yell from somewhere behind me.

I’m so afraid that they will catch me. I just have to find someone… anyone. My feet feel like they’re made of lead, but I’m halfway back to the gym entrance and they haven’t overtaken me.

Please don’t catch me…

God, don’t let them catch me…

I’m shaking. My dress is ripped and bloody. I’m bare foot and bruised. I make it into the gym with only a smattering of people. I don’t see any adults.

Help me…

I scream, dropping to my knees.

Help…

Someone’s arms catch me before the rest of my body hits the floor.

I just want to be at home with Prim…

I wake in a hospital bed. I can hear machines beeping. I feel groggy. Looking through the window of the closed door, I see what look to be police outside the room and my mom is talking with them.

Mommy!

Where’s Prim?

I see Prim, sleeping in a chair next to my bed, her head resting on my arm. The other arm has tubes in it. I can see hand shaped purple and blue marks running up and down them.

“Katniss?” Peeta whispers from across the room.

Peeta?

He has tears in his eyes. His hair is disheveled. There’s a tear in his jacket. He’s got a bloody lip and scrapes on his face as well.

Peeta.

Does he know what happened?

Why is he hurt?

“Peeta? How? Are you okay?” I ask in a raspy hushed voice.

“Don’t worry about me. I’m sorry, Katniss, I’m so, so sorry. Can you forgive me?” He begs, his eyes glistening.

Forgive him?

He couldn’t have known this would happen?

He wasn’t even there.

“Peeta. You didn’t do this to me. I’m so stupid. I should have never been alone-” My voice catches on the last word and hot tears fall down my cheeks.

I try to control my breathing because it hurts when I take deep breaths.

“I wanted to ask you to the prom. I even asked your sister if you had a date. I even told her I was wearing orange. But I chickened out. If I hadn’t… or if I wouldn’t have let you go with…” He says a tear slipping down his cheek.

It was Peeta? Cato shouldn’t ever have even been my date. It should have been Peeta.

“Peeta. Please. It’s not your fault.” I plead with him to realize.

“He’s in jail. All they need is for you to confirm it was… to keep him there. But if you can’t… talk about… if you don’t want to… they can use DNA found… Oh God Katniss. I wanted to kill him. Finn, Thresh, and Blight… they had to… I almost didn’t stop hitting him.” He cries as he relives it and so do I.

I notice he won’t walk the four or five steps it would take to cross the room. And now that he mentions it, I notice the bandages wrapped around his knuckles that are bloody.

Oh Peeta.

Sweet, shy Peeta.

I did this to you.

“I’m glad they stopped you… because that’s not who you are.” I sniffle.

“He deserves to die. He deserves…”

“But you don’t deserve to go to jail because of my stupidity.” I say.

“You didn’t deserve… this. You don’t deserve to be here.” He says, tears falling.

He angrily wipes at them and looks down.

“Thank you. For… Thank you.” I struggle to get out.

“No. It’s ok. I’m just glad we caught him.” Peeta says.

Him?

Not them?

Snow!

“Peeta, there was another guy. Cato’s, cousin, I think. Snow? I don’t know his real name, but he helped him. He made sure no one came in from the hallway.” I relay, fresh tears forming.

Damn Snow! Would Cato even have done this had Snow not been there?

“Shit! I asked a guy if he’d seen anyone walk down the hall and he said that he hadn’t. I couldn’t even see his face that well, but I knew it wasn’t Cato because his suit was grey. Dammit! I didn’t think he had any reason to lie.” Peeta explains.

Peeta was looking for me.

“They… gagged me so I couldn’t yell for help.” I say looking away.

“I was so close. I could’ve stopped-”

“Don’t. You can’t blame yourself.” Prim speaks up.

How long has she been awake?

“Neither of you. I made Katniss go to Prom. I told her that you asked about her, but I didn’t know it was you and not Cato. Since you two look similar…” She trails off with tears falling down her cheeks.

They do look similar. But they are nothing alike.

My mom walks in, so Peeta excuses himself to let my friends in the waiting room know I’m awake. He stops on the way out to tell the police that the original statement he gave needed to be adjusted, pertaining to the guy he questioned in the hallway.

Mom comes over to me, and without saying a word, she just hugs me and cries. Prim cries and holds my hand and eventually we all calm down.

When police Officer Jackson and his partner Officer Holmes comes in, he asks me if I would feel more comfortable talking with a female detective.

Yes.

They also ask if I’d like for my mother and sister to leave. I ask for the woman detective, and I suggest for Prim to get some breakfast, since the sun has come up. She hesitantly does what I ask.

“Ask Peeta to take you, little duck.” Mom tells her.

A half hour later, Jackson, sends in a detective who introduces herself as Alma Coin. She is dressed in a black business suit and heels. Her hair is in an asymmetric black bob, with one streak of grey. I start at the beginning and tell her everything. She takes notes on everything I say.

“Okay, Miss Everdeen. Now, I don’t want to upset you any further, but I just need to be certain of the facts. Since we are talking about rape here. So, if I have this straight… you chose to go to prom with this boy, Cato Johnson? You willingly, and illegally, accepted alcohol from him? Although, you’re both below the legal drinking age? Then you say that you walked away from the dance with him… also, willingly. At that point he and his light blond haired cousin, whose real name you don’t know, and which no one else seems to recall seeing, at all, last night… gagged you and took you to the teachers’ lounge? Where Cato Johnson proceeded to assault and rape you. You lost consciousness, twice, then ran out, without them stopping you? Is that your statement?” Detective Coin asks.

She sounds like she doesn’t believe a word I’ve said.

Why would I make this up?

“Yes. I thought he was the guy my sister was trying to set me up with. I know it’s wrong to drink. I’ve never had more than a sip before, but I didn’t think he was a… bad… guy. He said… he said he’d look out for me. I didn’t realize how far away we were from the gym until… it was too late. Snow gagged me and stood watch outside the door. My friend Peeta saw Snow and talked to him when he noticed I went missing. Ask Peeta! I didn’t make him up! Cato… he smothered me. He thought he killed me. So when I saw the opportunity to try and run for my life, I took it. Thankfully, I had enough energy to make it back to where other people were, or I doubt they would have let me live!” I shout as much as my voice will allow.

I’m furious at her accusations.

Am I on trial here?

“This friend Pee-Ta Mel-Lark, is it? Is he the one who also beat Cato within inches of his life? Is Peeta a boyfriend you were trying to make jealous?” She asks.

What!

I’m shocked and angry. I hate this woman for accusing Peeta of doing anything wrong. My fists are clenched so hard that my hands are starting to hurt.

He was trying to save me.

“No!” I say shaking my head.

“Are you sure you didn’t just sleep with Cato, then make up a story so you wouldn’t have to look like the girl who got drunk and slept with a guy at school? It’s a common tale. You do realize he could go to jail for a very long time, don’t you Miss Everdeen?” Coin questions in her accusatory tone.

“My daughter… was rushed, to the hospital unconscious. You can see the bruises on her face… and on her arms. Katniss had a rape kit done on her. She was proclaimed by several credible doctors, to indeed be… raped! She needed stitches for heaven’s sake! She would never risk and innocent person’s life just to save her, reputation. This is the first time she’s ever even gone on a date, or to a school function… and she was a… a virgin until last night. So, this Cato son of a bitch needs to be castrated, and sentenced to life in prison. He can rot there for all I care. Now are you going to make sure that happens and catch his accomplice, cousin, before another poor girl gets hurt? Or should we ask for a detective who can do their job?” My mother yells at her through tears.

In that moment, I see her. My mother. The mom I knew before dad died.

Coin is visibly shaken by what my mom has just told her. She looks somewhere between angry that my mom spoke to her that way, and ashamed for overlooking my injuries.

“Asking the tough questions is my job but… I’m sorry if I offended you, Mrs. Everdeen. We have to ask to be sure. There are girls who make stories up, everyday.” Coin offers.

“Apologize to my daughter.” My mother says in a tone that states don’t fool with my family.

I shakily grab mom’s hand. She squeezes back gently.

“Please accept my apology, Miss Everdeen. You’ve clearly been through a lot. We will process Mr. Johnson, and officially charge him with rape. Unless he confesses though, there will be a trial. You may have to testify. He will be tried as a minor because he isn’t yet 18… so there is a slight chance he will not serve as much time as an adult would. I will do what I can to keep you informed of the progress on your case, but if you feel very strongly about having a new detective assigned to you, we can see to that.” Coin says and I don’t know how genuine her apology is, but she sounds like she’s telling the truth about the other things.

Trial?

Everyone looking at me…

Having to not only tell, but also… relive what happened to me?

I look to my mom. I think she can sense my apprehension… and the fact that this is all overwhelming.

“We appreciate that you’re job requires you to make sure. Please keep us informed.” My mom says coldly, and then walks Detective Coin out.

I don’t bother to say goodbye. I don’t like her.

I’m released from the hospital much later that day. When we arrive home, my mom gives me some pain medication. I settle myself on the couch to try and relax. I’m about to turn on the television when Prim snatches the remote.

“Prim, what are you-”

“You don’t wanna look at boring old TV. Let’s do something else.” She says looking guilty.

I can tell something is up with her. I ask where my phone is and she just shrugs. Then there’s a knock at the door.

“Is this The Everdeen home?”

“Are you her little sister… uh… Primrose, is it?”

“Do you have a statement?”

“Can you tell us the nature of the relationship between Katniss and her attacker before the rape?”

There is no break in between questions.

“What are you doing here?” Is all Prim can say before my mom runs over to the door.

She yells at them to leave. Then slams the door on the nine or so reporters with microphones, and cameramen from every local news channel. No wonder Prim didn’t want me to turn on the TV.

Prim is crying. Mom does her best to comfort her and sends her upstairs to rest. Then mom pulls out a business card from her purse and says that she’s going to call a lawyer. I’m so exhausted that I fall asleep.

“No! I have no statement. I don’t care if it is breaking news! I have a lawyer who informs me that if you aren’t at least a hundred yards away from my house, I can sue all of you for harassment. So scoot!” I wake to mom shouting out the door maybe an hour later.

We have a lawyer?

She turns to look my way, but I don’t want her to know that I’m awake. So I keep my eyes closed. I hear her light footfalls make there way over to me, before I feel the gentlest of kisses brush my forehead.

“I’m so sorry, sweetie. We are gonna get through this, together. I promise. I love you so much.” She whispers, and I feel her tears land on my arm.

As I hear her leave, tears of my own threaten to fall. I try to go back to sleep. That’s when the nightmares start.

The next morning, Gale comes home. For the first time since our fathers died, I see my best friend cry. He is so devastated that he wasn’t here to protect me. I tell him, and Madge tells him, that there wasn’t anything, that anyone, could’ve done.

But that’s not true… I could’ve done something different. Like, not gone to Prom with Cato, or just admitted I liked Peeta.

“Katniss, is there anything I can get you? Are you in pain?” Madge asks.

“Not right now. I just feel dumb. Like… I didn’t follow my own instincts. I’m so embarrassed.” I confess.

“Please don’t feel that way. More girls and women then you may realize are ra… umm, have this happen to them. It’s not your fault.” Madge says.

“Yes, but so many things could have prevented-” I start.

“Catnip, you are one of the strongest people I know. But you can’t control everything. I used to think there was a certain type of girl this happens to… but I was wrong. Guys who do this to women… are pigs. They obviously don’t care if you weak or strong. They don’t care if you’re a good girl. They just victimize people. It’s not your fault. Okay.” Gale says.

But…

“He’s right. You can’t keep chastising yourself. Thinking about what ifs. You just didn’t deserve this to happen to you, but it did.” My mom says coming out of nowhere.

She hasn’t been farther than ten feet from me since it happened.

“Just know, we’re all here for you, and we’ll help you get through this and move on.” She finishes.

My victims advocate’s name is Haymitch Abernathy. He is… Well he seems like, a surly, old drunk, to be honest. He’s won my mom over somehow, but I’m skeptical of his abilities as a lawyer. He is working with the D.A., since Cato is being prosecuted by the state of California.

The District Attorney is Caesar Flickerman. Caesar is not your typical looking or acting D.A. He seems to be interested in the publicity this case will bring. His assistant, Claudius Templesmith, is just as peculiar.

The next week is hectic. On Monday I’m carted off to the police station. They sent me to a sketch artist. The drawing was released to other precincts and to the media. So basically, as of now, the police have no leads to Snow’s whereabouts. Then we go to the lawyer’s office. The nightmares happen as soon as I close my eyes.

Tuesday, we go to the hospital to check on my injuries. It’s awful, because not only do I have to have my outer injuries assessed, but my inner ones as well. My mom leaves me in a room, so she can to talk to a doctor. A nurse comes in and even though the doctor already checked, she makes me lie back and put my feet in those foot stirrups I hate, again. But whatever she does, doesn’t hurt thank goodness. I feel like the humiliation isn’t ever going to end.

I also get sent to speak with a psychiatrist. Dr. Jones. I don’t much care for her because she strongly feels that I should be put on possible, dependency forming medication, with side effects that I’m not willing to deal with.

That night, the Hawthorne’s and Mason’s come over and cook a big dinner. I try to enjoy it but twice, when one of the boys goes to reach for salt or a napkin, I freak out and jump completely out of my skin. I head to bed early claiming I’m tired because I’m ashamed that my friends scare me.

Wednesday it’s off to the lawyer’s office again. The only good thing about this day is Haymitch suggests a psychologist that I actually do like. He offers me some methods that help even after just one session.

Then Thursday, back to the dreaded hospital.

Haymitch has been driving us to all these appointments, in his Bentley, because it has tinted windows. We are trying to keep the reporters off our scent.

The gist of the entire running around is, Cato is in jail, awaiting trial without bail. They questioned everyone from Prom that night. No one remembered seeing Snow, but many students remember the same thing I did. About a white haired kid being teased when we were younger.

I try to listen to what all these people tell me, but I tend to zone out a little.

The only thing I pay attention to at the hospital, is the results of my Sexually Transmitted Disease tests. I’m clean of everything.

Thank you, God!

That was the third time my mom cried that day, but finally, they are mostly happy tears.

Friday, our last stop is to the school to get my stuff and to pick up the work I’ll be doing at home for the rest of the year. I won’t be finishing my last month in school. But I can graduate with everyone, if I choose to walk across the stage.

I’m in the parking lot of the school. I can see a legion of reporters crowded around out front. They inexplicably found out our next stop.

We’ve evaded them for most of this week. It looks like the principle anticipated the ruckus and called all of the school’s security guards, and the police, to keep them at bay.

The barricades are set up out front so the side entry is the route we go in. Once inside the gates, I’m almost brought to tears. There, standing in front of, what looks to be the entire school, is Prim’s smiling face.

Next to her are Rue, Peeta, Finn, Annie, Delly, Thom, BeeTee, and Wiress. All holding a huge paper sign that says; “Katniss, We love and miss you!”

The principle, and my favorite teacher, Mrs. Atala, walk over to me to hand me my work and hug me tight. I didn’t know this many people even knew who I was.

They say a few nice things about how brave I am and what an inspiration to other rape victims I’ve become.

I don’t feel very inspirational.

They dismiss the students for the rest of the day. Mom speaks with my teachers about the work I’ll need to complete in order to graduate. So, I take the opportunity to slip away to my locker.

“Hey.” Peeta approaches me timidly.

“Hi.” I say, feeling grateful to see his face.

I feel like I can never repay Peeta for what he tried to do for me.

I owe him.

“How are you feeling? I mean, are you… you’re probably tired of answering that question huh?” He asks intuitively.

“Yeah, but I’m getting better. And you can ask me anything, Peeta. I just don’t like answering when people don’t really care.” I clarify.

He nods in understanding. Behind him my friends are all approaching.

“Katniss, can I hug you?” Wiress comes up and asks sweetly; with unshed tears in her eyes.

I shake my head yes and it turns into a dog pile hug of my three best girlfriends. Finnick, Thom, and BeeTee are standing nearby with sad smiles. No doubt, Thom told them how jumpy I’ve been in male company as of late, so they are respectfully keeping some distance.

“We were so worried about you.” Annie says crying.

“Sorry. I’m glad you guys are… here.” I say, trying not to wince as they squeeze my sore arms and torso.

I should never have left my friends that night.

“You are stuck with us. You got that?” Delly adds sniffling.

They let go and wipe their eyes. They tell me about their week, mostly about classes and home. They avoid the media coverage and they don’t ask me about anything too personal.

Thankfully no one mentions how my eye is still a little bruised. Prim tried to convince me to put makeup on. But I don’t see the point.

“How you holding up Catnip?” I’m surprised to see Gale at the school.

“Okay. Have you met the crew?” I ask.

He already knew most of my friends from when he went to school here. And he knows Thom from the neighborhood. But he shakes hands with all the rest. When he gets to Peeta he pulls him into a bear hug. Peeta looks shocked.

“First, you win over Posy. Then… well, you’re alright in my book, Mellark.” Gale says letting him go.

“Thanks, I feel like I should’ve done more.” Peeta says sadly.

“They’ll get what’s coming to them, don’t you worry. I’ll catch you all later.” Gale says, squeezing my shoulder once and leaving to go see one of his siblings.

“Let us know if you need study buddies and we could have some sleep-overs.” Delly volunteers.

There’s only about a month left of school, so the work should be fairly easy? I can tell they all just want to help me feel normal.

“That sounds great. How about Sunday?” I say trying my hardest to smile.

They all hug me one by one. Even the boys once I tell them it’s okay. Leaving Peeta as the last embrace, and I almost cry again. I feel so much safer in his arms. I just keep kicking myself for leaving them that night, for leaving him that night.

“If you need anything… ever… and I mean, ever. You find me. Okay?” He says in my ear.

I nod and wipe the few stray tears off his face and mine. We stand there a minute, staring into each other’s eyes… I think he wants to say something else, but he doesn’t.

Click!

“Oh, that one is my screensaver. I mean, if that’s okay?” Prim asks.

She took a picture on her phone. I have a flash back of that night having our picture taken while dancing. But then a blurred shadowy figured is in the background watching. I clutch Peeta’s shoulders tighter shying away from where the phantom figure would be.

“Prim?” I scold.

"No, it’s fine. I should be used to it by now. At least I know where that one’s gonna end up. There are news reporters at school everyday. They started as soon as it got released that I… "found” you that night, or because I fought Cato. I’m not sure which. They take pictures of me coming out of the house. Going to work. My mom is actually kinda happy that the bakery is on TV. It draws people in. But, they’re really everywhere.“ Peeta tells us.

"Peeta, you found me? I thought I ran away.” I ask confused.

“You did. You ran into the gym, screamed, and collapsed. I was just the first to… to see you, so I just caught you before you completely hit the ground. Delly called the ambulance. Finnick put his jacket under your head. We put Thom’s jacket over you, and then, when I saw Cato walk into the gym with scratches on his cheek. I sort of blacked out. I remember being on top of Cato hitting him in his face over and over. When they pulled me off of him… you were already gone. I didn’t see you again until the hospital. I was so scared that you didn’t make it.” Peeta confirms.

“Thank you. I’m so sorry they won’t leave you alone. My lawyer… Uh, Haymitch Abernathy should be able to help with that. He can get like a restraining order or something. From your house and the bakery. Unless your mom wants them there.” I say.

My lawyer can handle that? Ugh! I sound so pretentious.

“God sorry. My mom must sound like some sort of huge capitalist. She is really sorry about what happened. Even though she gave me an earful for interfering the way I did. But my Dad and brothers are proud of me. So… and I’m gonna shut up now.” He says.

“No, it’s fine really. I’d much rather them be at the bakery, then following my every move, if you guys don’t mind.” I respond.

“Ok, Sweetheart. Time to go.” Haymitch says walking up to us.

“Oh ok. Haymitch, this is Peeta Mellark. Peeta, Haymitch. He needs some help with the paparazzi stalking him.” I explain.

“Here you go kid. Call my office.” Haymitch says, handing Peeta his card.

“Uh, thanks.” Peeta says.

“Bye, Peeta.” Prim says hugging Peeta before walking away.

“Peeta, sweet boy. See you later.” My mom tells him while putting one hand on his cheek, earning a small smile from him.

“Bye Katniss.”

“Bye Peeta.” I say, before turning to leave.

A few days later I’m in Haymitch’s office. We’re going over my testimony for the trial when Peeta walks in.

“Good. You’re here.” Haymitch barks.

“Hey Katniss. How are you?” Peeta greets me.

“Okay and you?” I reply.

“Not bad.” He shoots me a, not quite as bright as usual, Peeta Mellark smile.

We go over every possible scenario. We learn pretty quickly that Peeta doesn’t need much coaching. He’s natural and charming. When he speaks, he looks honest and confident. Haymitch says I have a permanent scowl.

I’m a little jealous.

“Okay. I’ll be the defense. Answer the questions.” Haymitch says.

“Okay.”

“So, Why did you go with him away from everyone, down the hall?” He asks.

“I was thinking he just needed consoling after losing Prom King.” I state.

“And it never occurred to you, the kind of consoling he wanted to do with you?” Haymitch asks aggressively.

Bastard!

“Of course it did! I knew what he and his buddy were up to! I couldn’t wait to be gagged, beaten, and nearly killed!” I yell breathing too hard.

“Not gonna win anybody over with that mouth, Sweetheart.” Haymitch challenges.

“Just be yourself Katniss. The people on the jury are on your side… because you’re telling the truth. They want justice to be served. So don’t be nervous. Just pull from the same courage you used to get out of that room.” Peeta tells, me rubbing my shoulders arms softly.

I nod and take a deep breath. Even though I feel like I suck at this, after another hour of practicing, I finally improve by leaps and bounds.

“Damn, kid. You’re good. You want a job here?” Haymitch cackles at Peeta.

As we’re leaving, I thank Peeta again for his help. We sit down on a bench outside of Haymitch’s office, and he produces a bag of pastries from the bakery.

Mmm cheese buns.

“Oh, thank you Peeta. Prim is gonna be so happy.” I say and so am I.

“It’s no big deal. Can I ask you something?” Peeta inquires.

“Sure.”

“Are you sleeping okay?” He asks, and then looks down at the ground.

“Did Annie tell you about my nightmares? It’s… they’re nothing… really.” I deny.

“Oh. No. Annie didn’t say anything. I… I’ve been having bad dreams.” He admits.

I’m shocked. I thought it was just me, and I don’t admit it to anyone. Here Peeta is, trusting me with this information.

“I… I dream about not being able to breathe and not being able to use my hands. I also dream that Prim is in danger. She kinda is, really with Snow still out there. I’ve been made to go see a therapist. Dr. Aurelius. He says it’s normal to have some post-traumatic stress after… traumatic things happen to us. Maybe that’s what you are experiencing.” I offer.

“Well, in most of my dreams I’m running. I’m frantically trying to find you. I’m pushing through every door. I check every person I run into, but they are all the same person. They’re all Snow. They all have on the same grey suit, but I can’t see their face. And then I tackle someone. I’m punching the unknown person in the face and there’s… so much blood. And then I see that it’s Cato I’ve been punching, but he’s smiling… and there’s nothing wrong with his face. And I just feel like… I’ve failed. I fail you every time.” Peeta says and he’s sweating a little by the time he’s done reliving his nightmare.

Poor Peeta.

I wasn’t the only one severely altered by the events of that night.

“Peeta. I’m so sorry. I’m safe now. I’m all right now. And I need you to be ok, too. If you ever wake up and need to, call me. Just do it. Okay? I don’t care if it’s the middle of the night.” I plead pulling him into a hug.

“Okay.” He whispers in my hair.

Peeta decides he’ll also start seeing Dr. A.

He calls me that night around 2:00 am, and we talk about everything. From hobbies, family, our dislikes and favorite things. Over the next few weeks it becomes routine. We call each other every night.

Many times we fall asleep on the phone. Once I even wake up in the morning, and realize that we never hung up. When I put the phone to my ear… I say hello, and he answers. We laugh for what seems like the longest time, for the first time, since Prom.

Slowly, it feels like we’re starting to heal.

“Katniss, I’m sorry I was so dismissive when you and Wiress tried to ask me about Glimmer.” He tells me one night, over the phone, after waking from a nightmare.

I’ve got him on speaker so I have both hands free. I stop mid swipe of the toenail polish I’m applying to my pinky toe.

“Peeta, you don’t have to apologize for anything. I’m the one who should be apologizing.”

“No way. You’ll never have to apologize to me.” He says yawning.

“Never? Even if I… ate all the cheese buns in your store and didn’t pay?” I joke.

“No apology needed.”

“Even if I, told everyone how much you still love the Teletubbies?”

Tinkie-Winkie, Dipsy, La La, Po.

“Kat, I told you that in confidence. That would suck. But… no you still wouldn’t need to apologize.” He grumbles.

“What if I drank all of your unsweetened tea at lunch and the restaurant was all out?”

“So there’s only sweet tea left in the restaurant?” He asks.

“In all the restaurants, everywhere.” I state dramatically.

“Umm, no you still don’t have to apologize. I’ll drink water. And don’t say there’s no more water.”

We laugh.

“Okay, okay. If I crash your car?” I ask.

“Nope, don’t have one. No apologizes necessary.”

“Peeta, when you get a car, you’ll be singing a different tune.”

“Nope.”

“How about… set your favorite apron on fire.”

“I wouldn’t even be mad. I’d be impressed you found the kitchen.” He teases. “Still no apology needed.”

“Hardy har-har. But what if I stopped eating gluten, Master Baker? Huh?”

“I’d make you gluten-free bread. Duh.”

“Ugh, I would need to say sorry at some point, for something. So out with it, Mellark. Tell me so I’m aware of my limits.”

“I can’t think of one thing. Oh, except if you never sang again I’d be pretty sad, so you’d need to apologize to the world.”

“How did you- When have you hear me sing?”

“In first grade. Actually, might’ve been kindergarten.”

I’m giggling. Clearly he’s delirious.

“What? What was I singing?” I ask skeptical of his memory.

“I don’t know? Some song about a valley or tree. Whatever it was, you sounded amazing. And all the birds outside even stopped to listen. I new then.”

I’m so shocked by what he’s telling me, I’ve given up on my second set of toenails and can barely screw the lid closed. The song he’s recalling, my dad used to sing to us. I don’t know how he remembers that.

“What did you know then?” I ask taking him off speaker and holding the phone to my ear.

Light snores float through the phone.

“Goodnight, Peeta.”

Five weeks have gone by since the night of the Prom. The trial is beginning. It feels like a circus, until Judge Paylor sends every reporter and journalist out of the courtroom.

My family and friends are here. According to my team, it’s a clear, cut and dry case. Haymitch convinces D.A. Flickerman to hit Cato with rape of a minor and attempted murder. There are opening statements from both sides. Then they present the evidence.

“Her blood alcohol content was only 0.020. You can legally operate a vehicle at 0.050. When arrested, that scumbag had a BAC of 0.080 and he was on high ecstasy!” Flickerman yells as a counter to Cato’s attorneys claim that I was drunk and wanted to be with him.

There are testimonies from Prom chaperones, and medical examiners from the hospital I was brought to.

“I was appalled to see the damage done to Miss Everdeen. She couldn’t open her right eye. Her jaw was fractured. She had a bruised windpipe, and larynx. Her Sat O levels we’re alarmingly low. Which means she wasn’t getting enough air. She had two cracked ribs and many others that were bruised. She had so many hand shaped bruises all over her neck, arms, thighs and especially her wrists. I’m surprised she was able to get away. She was close to death when she arrived.” Dr. Octavia relayed to the court.

The photos are hard on the girls. Annie takes Prim and Rue out of the courtroom crying. Wiress and Delly just hold onto each other. There’s a stenographer typing quietly away while everyone speaks. I see her tear up twice. Even most of the jury had tears in their eyes. I hold my mom’s hand. And Peeta hold’s my other under the table.

Peeta is called to the stand when we get to the subject of Snow.

“So you saw a suspicious looking guy in the hall while you were looking for your friend… and nothing told you to get close enough to see his face?” The opposing lawyer asks Peeta.

“My friends and I noticed Katniss was no longer in the gym. We split up to look for her. I knew she wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye to us. Some of our group went to the parking lot to see if they were outside. Cato’s car was still there. I asked a few kids at the dance if they’d seen what direction she went in. Something told me to check the hallway even though it was dimly lit down there. I saw a guy in the hallway and he was leaned up against a locker. The way he stood, left his face just out of the light. I asked him if he’d seen Katniss, or anyone, but he said that nobody had been down the hallway. I was just so frantic to find her that I didn’t want to waste time talking to anyone who didn’t have information about Katniss. I knew Cato had her. I just had to get to her.” Peeta tells everyone.

“You say you knew Cato had her? Is it possible you were maybe jealous, of the fact that Cato was there with Katniss, instead of you? That maybe she wanted to sleep with him?” The lawyer accuses.

“Objection, your honor! Leading the witness.” Haymitch yells.

“Sustained. Counselor stop leading the witness.” Judge Paylor says.

“Okay. Ok, so you say that you knew Cato had her. Please tell us how.”

“I suppose I couldn’t have known for sure. But I knew something was wrong. Cato just struck me as not a good guy. We play football together and he’s selfish, and has a temper.” Peeta explained.

“No further questions Your Honor.”

At one point they tried to charge Peeta with assault against Cato but the Judge threw it out for wasting her time. Calling it “A fight between teenage boys, with more pressing matters at hand”.

And finally, they put me on the stand. Dr. A has made me push through telling the horrible memories and face my fears. So I’m prepared for this day.

“Can you tell us what made you run when you did?” Caesar Flickerman asks.

“I overheard… Snow say that… that they would have to get rid of my… body because Cato thought he’d killed me. I wanted to be dead but… but I had my sister to think about. I had to protect her from people like them. I didn’t want anything to happen to her or any other girl those two might do this to. If I died no one would know what monsters they were.” I say angrily.

“Well, thank you Katniss. You sure are brave.” Caesar says to me. “Your witness, Counselor.”

“Miss Everdeen, you say that you wanted to console my client because you didn’t win Prom King and Queen. Did you feel like you owed him something?”

“Well, no. I just felt bad because he seemed to want it so badly. If I had known Ca- he was on drugs I would never have walked anywhere with him. Up until then I had my misgivings about him, but he’d been a gentleman and showed me kindness. I never thought… that he would take advantage of me being kind back.” I answer choking up.

I look to Peeta because he helped me with the wording of my answers so I wouldn’t breakdown in front of all these people.

“Mmm, hmm. And so your kindness was to drug him and then claim rape, after you slept with him?” He accuses.

I wasn’t prepared for that.

The whole courtroom is up in arms screaming at the lawyer.

“She is the victim, you ass-hat!” Gale yells.

“Douché bag! Of course has a douché bag lawyer!” I hear Finnick bellow.

“Bullshit!” Thom says.

“Yeah. Leave her alone!” Prim’s voice is muddled in with the Boo’s that are being yelled throughout the courtroom.

“This is outrageous!” Caesar yells.

“Order! I will have order in this courtroom! Order!” Judge parlor smacks the gavel repeatedly and I feel a migraine coming on.

“Your honor, my client maintains that he was drugged unwillingly and unbeknownst to him.”

“I object. She did not drug the defendant. Where would she have gotten drugs?” Caesar points out.

The two lawyers are facing off, getting closer to the bench.

“I don’t know, maybe her real boyfriend. Mr. Mellark is a very popular guy. They could’ve concocted this whole elaborate ruse to-“

“Oh, shut the hell up, Crane! You know my client is innocent of any wrongdoing. That’s all hearsay, your honor. Miss. Everdeen and Mr. Mellark’s friendship is not on trial here.” Haymitch throws out.

“Abernathy, language!” Judge Paylor warns.

I look at Cato who’s smirking, and he puckers his lips at me, like he’s blowing me a kiss.

I start to cry, and I’m having a hard time breathing. Just as I’m about to get up, Peeta stands up and I freeze. My mom is pulling at his sleeve. But he ignores her and grabs the tissue box near the end of the table.

Everyone making noise and yelling and the Judge telling the bailiffs to get the crowd under control, all stop. It all stops and Peeta quietly and slowly hands the tissue box to me.

“It’s okay Kat. Just breathe.” He tells me taking one of my hands.

I nod and we take two deep breaths. We share a small smile and just as calmly, he goes as sits back down.

No one makes a sound.

“Thank you Mr. Mellark. Miss Everdeen can you continue?” The Judge asks me.

I nod my confirmation.

“Crane, overruled. Anymore outburst from anyone will be held accountable.” Paylor states.

“Miss Everdeen, did you enjoy yourself with my client at all the evening in question?” Crane asks me.

“I did, until they announced the Prom court.” I answer honestly.

“What changed?”

“I- I left like he was disappointed and angry, but also sad. I didn’t want to finish the date with him, but I didn’t want to hurt his feelings after he’d just been let down. But after we started walking down the hall and I realized he was off, I now know he was probably high, I started feeling less sad for him and more worried about his health.” I explain.

“Why didn’t you call for help?”

“I was about to when Snow came and not only startled me, but accused me of being a bad date and essentially, leading my date on.” I spit.

“And were you? Leading him on?”

“I… no. I didn’t-“

“When you said and I quote, “Something changed.” and, you didn’t want to finish the date. Isn’t it Peeta Mellark what changed your mind about my client?” Crane asks.

“Objection, putting words in her mouth.” Caesar claims.

“You don’t have to answer that. How about after you danced with Mr. Mellark, huh? Isn’t that when you decided you were no longer interested in Mr. Johnson?” Crane asks.

“Peeta is my friend. He was concerned and he looks out for me, like all my friends do. I should’ve trusted my own instincts and said no to the date in the first place, and then again not to drink alcohol with Cato, and finally not to leave Peeta’s side to appease Cato’s wounded ego. You can act like that’s inappropriate or leading behavior if you’d like. But no matter who it is in your life, when you find someone who makes you feel safe, you’d rather be near them, than with people who don’t.” I look at Cato who isn’t smirking anymore. “I should’ve told you I didn’t feel the same way about you as you did me. And yes it took me well into the date to realize that. But I never told you, you could have a piece of me just because you were nice for a couple of hours. No means no. And not saying anything doesn’t mean yes.”

The tears are openly falling now and although I feel embarrassed and vulnerable, I don’t feel like he can victimize me anymore. He doesn’t hold any power over me. I will never let him hurt me or someone else again.

The defense didn’t want to put Cato on the stand, probably because he was guilty, Haymitch had quipped. But Caesar put him on and asked about Snow.

“I don’t know what she’s talking about, I never had anyone grab her. I don’t know this Snow and she wanted to hook up. I mean, I don’t remember much. Because I, uh, think someone spiked my drink. But, she was kissing me all night and I thought we were good together.” Cato stares in my direction lying his ass off.

The real clincher was when three girls from our school and two from another school in our district, came forward on either the news or as actual character witnesses Caesar put on the stand. All of the girls stated they’d either been inappropriately propositioned or touched by Cato in some way by him.

One girl in particular stated that Cato took her to the very teachers lounge I was assaulted in. He began telling her that he was an office aid and could do whatever he wanted at school. Then he started kissing her and when things were going too far for her, he wouldn’t let her up. If it wasn’t for it being during school hours and another aid trying to come in trough the locked door, she felt certain he would’ve gotten what he wanted whether she wanted to or not.

The defense had a field day with how convenient the timing was for these girls to show up now that it could land them on TV. But the girl’s testimony about the teachers lounge matched up with rumors about Cato getting caught in the teacher’s lounge that many other people could and would testify to.

Cato Johnson is found guilty on all counts. He is tried as an adult because his 18th birthday was only three days away.

The day we are scheduled to hear the sentencing, I wake up emotionally drained, exhausted from lack of sleep, and nauseous. I call Peeta.

“It’s ok just keep breathing. It’s almost over, then you never have to see him again.” Peeta reassures me.

“I know but Snow’s still out there somewhere.” I say feeling more and more queasy.

“Katniss, I will never let him hurt you again. You understand that?” Peeta promises.

“Yes but- Ugh…” I start but drop the phone… to vomit. After emptying my stomach, rinsing my mouth and picking up the phone, I hear Peeta yelling.

“Katniss! Are you ok? Should I call the police? Where’s your mom? Katni-”

“It’s okay. I had to throw up. I guess I’m nervous. I’ll see you at the courthouse.” I say.

“You sure? I could come over and-”

“No it’s alright. And thanks Peeta.” I say still feeling sick.

When Judge Paylor announces the Twenty-year sentence, in a state penitentiary, Cato cries. His father isn’t there. I heard he isn’t really in his life. His mother cries but holds her new husband, for support. Cato’s own Stepfather was a character witness against him. Stating Cato is an angry person. Who does drinks too much, smoke weed and has a problem with authority.

Most people, like Cesar Flickerman and Claudius Templesmith, look pleased with the sentence. My mom and Prim hug me as Peeta shakes Haymitch’s hand. When they take Cato away in hand cuffs, he looks into my eyes and all I see is hate.

Ugh! I must have the flu.

I haven’t told anyone about the throwing up or that it’s happened every morning since the sentencing. Not even Peeta. I see my graduation cap sitting on my bed and hope that I can make it through the ceremony without the rest of my breakfast making a reappearance.

“Katniss, can I borrow a pad?” Prim yells from the bathroom.

“Yeah, help yourself. They’re under the sink.” I call out.

“Thaaanks sis. You’re a lifesaver. Wait, is this the same box we bought you from…”

It takes me about thirty seconds to realize my sister is confused because, I shouldn’t have that many left.

Oh My God!

No! NO!

“Kat-” My sister stops in her tracks when she sees that I am slumped to the floor and hysterical.

“What’s wrong? Mooooom!” Prim yells and sits next to me on the floor putting her arms around me.

“Prim, what is it?” Mom says bursting into my room.

“I don’t know she… she just started crying and, I don’t know.” Prim cries.

I realize the gasps and wailing are coming from me and I pound the ground with my fist.

“No honey! Hold on to us! Breathe, Katniss!” Mom says grabbing my hands and hugs me tight to keep me from flailing round. “Prim what happened right before this? Did she see something or someone?”

“I don’t know. I was in the bathroom. I just asked her for a pad. I thought it was weird that she still has the same box we bought her from that day at the hospital. No one was here but me, mom.” Prim explains.

My sobs are a little quieter now.

Does she know?

“I see. Oh, Prim can you get your sister some Tylenol and a glass of water?” Mom asks efficiently sending her away.

“M…m… Mom! Mom? Why?” I bawl.

“Oh sweetie, I was afraid of this. I just thought maybe… maybe the odds were in our favor. I’m so sorry. It’s going to be okay. We can do, whatever you want to do. I know you planned on going to school and you have dreams and goals and. And… you don’t have to keep it. Or… or maybe we can find a good home…” She says trying to comfort me but actually causing renewed vigor to my tears.

I can’t be a mother right now!

How can I possibly carry that monster’s child?

Could I live with the decision to kill it?

Could I give a baby that’s half me, away?

Would I only see its father every time I look at it?

“You don’t have to decide today. You are graduating today. Try to focus on that and we’ll deal with this tomorrow, okay baby?” She says tears now falling down her cheeks.

At graduation, I’m a wreck. But I try to do what my mom asks and put it away until tomorrow. I walk across the stage and as I grab the hand of Mrs. Atala, I look into the sea of smiling faces for my family. I see someone in the crowd, a familiar face. Snow’s face… And then it’s black.

When I come too, Peeta, my mom, and two of the faculty are fanning programs in front of me. They’ve pulled me behind the stage. So they can continue the program.

“Katniss?” I hear my name.

He’s out there!

“Katniss, can you hear me?” Peeta calls gently.

Peeta, he came back! What does he want?

“Please wake up sweetie.” Mom sounds close tears again.

Someone stop him!

“S… Sn… Snow.” I say softly, feeling dizzy.

“Snow? It’s June honey.” A teacher says.

“Peeta, Snow is here.” I say again groggy but determined not to let him get away.

“Where, Katniss? In the crowd?” Peeta asks angrily.

I knew he would believe me.

I nod yes and try to sit up. Peeta takes off running. My mom finally connecting the dots gets her phone, to call the police.

Peeta searches the crowd but never sees anyone with white hair. I explain what happened to the police. They have to continue the rest of the ceremony. There are too many people to stop and question.

Bastard! He got away again!

“He knew he could slip in and out of this crowd. He just wants to scare you Katniss. Don’t worry. Okay?” Peeta tries to reassure me.

Then against everyone’s advice, I opt to not go to the hospital and stay after, to take pictures and say goodbye to some friends.

Marvel got a scholarship to a school in Arizona. Blight is joining the military. Navy, I think. Thresh is going to college in here California but closer to Los Angeles.

Finnick is going to take a year off to travel Europe. Fully funded by his wealthy parents. Somehow, Annie’s guardian, her grandmother, whom we call Mags, is letting her go with Finn, or maybe because Mags totally loves him.

BeeTee and Wiress both being brainiacs, got accepted to Harvard. But they both turned them down to go to MIT. Which I think is funny and sad, seeing as how both schools are in Boston, but that means that they are both going so far away.

Thom got a full ride to Howard University. He’s the first one in his family to go to college. He’s planning on joining the Omega Psi Phi or “Q Dogs” as he calls them. It has been his dream since he was little to go there.

Howard is in D.C. six hours from where Delly is supposed to go. Her SAT’s scores were one of the highest in the county. We are all very proud. It’s Delly’s parents that want her to go to Yale. She also got accepted to Brown, Duke, and Howard.

She tried to convince her parents to let her go to Howard, but they said absolutely not. They said that she wasn’t going to follow her high school crush, to a “black college” to throw her life away.

Delly’s dad yelled at her to grow up and do as she’s told. She told them Thom is not her crush. He’s her soul mate and they were going to find a way to be together, there’s nothing they could do to stop her.

Peeta told me he applied to several schools. Got accepted to his third and fourth choice, both out of state. But he said that he really wants to take over his family’s bakery someday. So he thinks he might just go to school for business at a local school and stay close to home.

I have to admit, I was selfishly glad to hear this at first. I guess, I really thought that one day, when we were better, maybe he would ask me on that date. He said he would but now that I’m in the situation I find myself. Part of me hopes he’ll go away to school and find a nice girl. I feel like no matter what I choose to do about this baby. It’s like I’m damaged goods and as much as I was trying to forget that. I can’t. And Peeta deserves better.

Then again maybe I should leave. I’m always going to be known here, as the girl who was raped at her Prom. I feel so exposed here.

Vulnerable.

Stupid.

Weak.

Things I never thought I was.

Haymitch get’s a call from his friend at the police, saying that they’re doing what they can to look for Snow. He doesn’t want me alone for the rest of the night, just to be safe.

After saying goodbye to all my other friends, Peeta invites us to eat dinner with his family. I’m not sure if we should, but after the long day, I am really hungry.

We go to a restaurant in Peeta’s part of town. I worry it is too expensive but, Haymitch tells us it’s taken care of on the drive there.

“Call it a graduation gift, Sweetheart.” The old man mumbles.

We meet Peeta’s dad and mom and two brothers. Apparently, my mom and Peeta’s dad knew each other in high school. Peeta’s mom doesn’t say much but she seems pleasant enough.

His brothers are very nice and joke with Prim and Peeta about having the same true blue eyes. Peeta’s oldest brother Graham has light brown eyes like his mother. And the middle Mellark, Ryan, has a lighter blue-grey ones like Peeta’s dad.

I’m pretty quiet. I’m still a little freaked out by this morning’s revelation and then seeing Snow’s face. I don’t eat all my food. I excuse myself to the bathroom.

In the bathroom, after washing my hands, I bump into Peeta’s mom.

“Oh, hey Mrs. Mellark. Sorry, I didn’t see you.” I say apologetically.

“It’s fine. You and my son have become very close friends.” She says.

I’m not sure if it’s meant to be a question or a statement. So I just smile and shrug.

“Yes… he… he’s been there for me through all of this and I hope that he knows how much I appreciate him… for all he’s done.” I try to relate.

“Yes. He is a sweet boy and generous to a fault. I just hope… if you’re his friend… you wouldn’t try to hold him back, now would you?” She asks.

“No, I would never… what do you mean?” I ask.

I’m so confused. Did he say something?

“Peeta needs to fulfill his destiny. He should be going to school. But I fear that he is so worried about you. You see, I don’t think he wants to leave you, maybe out of some sense of obligation. And I’m sure you had things you wanted to do, before this unfortunate event. So I just think, if you truly care about him. Like I think you do, you’d tell him to live his life to it’s full potential. As if he would’ve before… this. So you can both go on and find happiness. You understand, right dear?” Mrs. Mellark tells me.

She has the tone you use to tell your kids their goldfish died.

He doesn’t want to leave me?

But I’d be holding him back.

Does he feel obligated to me?

My head is spinning. I guess I’ve been rationalizing the same things she’s telling me. But I find myself already missing Peeta from my life.

I wish I could go back…

Back in time and tell Cato no to Prom…

And that Peeta would’ve asked me instead.

And that we… we…

Oh, who am I kidding?

I’d still be from the wrong side of the tracks.

I’ll always be holding Peeta back.

“I understand. I just want Peeta to be happy.” I answer.

“I always knew you were a good girl. Thank you for being such a good friend to my boy, looking out for his best interest. You have to find your destiny too.” She says and hugs me but I feel like I might cry.

My destiny?

I don’t think I have one anymore.

I let go and walk back to the table and whisper to my mom I’d like to go soon.

“Hey everything ok?” Peeta asks me quietly outside the restaurant.

“Uh… Yeah I. I’m fine just tired and.” I trail off not knowing what else to say.

“Ok. Well can I text you later? I was hoping we could talk alone but, with everyone here.” He says quieter and smiles.

I’ve come to crave that smile.

It brightens my day like few things can.

“Okay just wait till nine. I should be home by then.” I whisper not looking him in the eyes.

I want to tell him goodbye then. It’s better if I let him go with a clean break. But I can’t deny him anything. I owe him too much. And I know it’ll start a conversation we shouldn’t have in front of everyone.

Peeta hugs me before I leave and I hold on for a little too long.

“You sure you’re alright?” He asks softly in my ear.

I’m gonna miss you.

Your safe hugs.

Your kind eyes.

Your friendship.

“Yeah. I’m good just tired like I said.” I lie.

When Haymitch drops us off he says a black and white is patrolling the area. And if we hear anything suspicious don’t hesitate to call the police or him.

We thank him again and say goodnight. I go to my room and right on time, I get a text from Peeta.

Peeta- Hey so thanks for coming to dinner. I know it was a stressful day.

Katniss- More than you realize. But it’s no problem. I liked your family.

Peeta- Thank you for saying that. So I’ve been thinking a lot about what to do now that I’m out of high school. How about you?

Without even thinking, I text…

Katniss- I’m going away to school soon.

Peeta- Really?

Katniss- Yeah, I got accepted to a music school. I write music. Well I used to. And I need to get away from this town and everyone in it. I have such bad memories here, from my Dad to Prom. I don’t feel like myself anymore since, what happened. I need to get back to what I loved. That’s music and my family. And I don’t want to have to look over my shoulder for Snow. He already occupies a lot of my nightmares. You should get away too. If that’s what you want.

Peeta- Oh. I didn’t know you felt that way. But I guess understand. That’s great that you got accepted to a music school! I’m happy for you. Where is the school?

I don’t answer.

Peeta- Katniss?

Katniss- Peeta, I care about you. Thank you for all you’ve done. Most people wouldn’t have. You are a special person. You should go to school. Make new friends and don’t let what happen to me, hold you back. I just want us both to heal and move on. I have so much on my plate right now and I need to get away and distance myself from what happen to me. Fresh start. You can stop worrying about me.

Peeta- Katniss, where is this coming from? You’ve helped me just as much as I’ve helped you. I know you have a lot on your plate and you deserve a fresh start. But don’t you want to be friends anymore? You don’t want me to know where you’ll be?

Katniss- It’s hard for me to look at you and not remember what we’ve been through. I just need time. To figure out what I need. I think you should just let me go.

Peeta- So that’s it? This is goodbye?

Katniss- I guess so. I will always remember your friendship.

Peeta- It will always be yours. Always.

It will always be mine.

Be mine.

After a shower and a cup of tea my mom made me, I finally decide to talk about the baby. Prim goes to bed and my mom sits down and hugs me.

“Mom. I didn’t even think I wanted kids. I can’t have Cato’s baby.” I start.

“I know you feel that way because of how much you’ve had to raise your sister, but if you go through with… not having it. You need to be prepared, emotionally for that. I’ve looked up some things and left pamphlets on your bed. Plus there is always adoption.” She states.

“I wasn’t finished. I can’t have Cato’s baby. But… I don’t know if I can just get rid of a baby, who didn’t ask to be here. It didn’t do anything wrong and I am the one to blame. I made the stupid mistakes that led up to its existence. I just don’t want to ever think of it as Cato’s baby, because it isn’t his. It’s mine.” I say.

Peeta is right.

It will always be… mine.

“Oh Katniss, you didn’t do anything wrong either. It is your baby. And that’s okay with me. I’m very proud that you made this decision with such maturity. I will try and support you however I can.” Mom says.

We hug and she says she will make an appointment for me to see an Ob/Gyn. Tears silently fall but I’m much more composed than earlier.

I’m having a baby.

A month and a half later, Rue doesn’t come home from the store. Her mom sent her at four in the afternoon, and at six she calls our house, thinking maybe she just got caught up with Prim.

“No, Miss Rooba. I haven’t seen her since this morning. Yes. Did you text her?” Prim says.

“Prim what is it?” I whisper, she shakes her head and keeps talking.

“Ok. Yes mam’. I’ll let you know. Bye. That was Rue’s mom she can’t find her. I’m gonna text Vic he probably knows where she is.” Prim says but she sounds a little worried.

“You think she’s with Vic?” I ask.

“She’s not answering texts or calls.” Prim says.

There’s a familiar car screech outside. Then banging in the front door.

Bam! Bam! Bam!

“Catnip!” Gale shouts.

We let him in and following behind him is Vic, Rory, his little sister Posy. Then from down the street come Thom and Jo holding little C.J.

“What’s going on?” I say freaking out.

“I came to make sure Rue wasn’t here and ask if you’d seen Vic. But I saw him in the car as Gale drove down the street.” Thom tells us.

Jo nods in agreement.

“Okay, what are you doing here?” I ask Gale.

“It’s me… I wanted to come.” Vic speaks up.

“You know where Rue is?” Thom asks Vic angrily.

Vic has tears in his eyes and I feel sick.

“No… Not exactly. We… I’ve been texting her like all morning. She texted me she was going to the store. But then, she said that she thought someone was following her, so she said I should go to her house if I didn’t hear back from her in 15 minutes. But I fell asleep!” Vic starts crying.

“What time was it? Let me see your phone.” Jo says and I grab the sleeping toddler from her.

“It was 4:10 and he fell asleep and then woke up to an unfinished text. At 5:55 he showed it to me. Rory just got Prim’s text about Rue not being home yet so we rushed over here.” Gale says.

Rue where are you?

“What does the unfinished text say?” I ask.

Gale looks at me.

“Vic, I’m scared. I luv u and fam. Tell Kat he died? It stops there.” Jo says and then it’s eerily quiet.

Who died?

“Call the police now!” Thom yells.

“Kat?”

“No. I don’t know who he is or who died.” I respond to Gale.

“But why did she spell it d, y, e anyway. She’s so good at spelling.” Vic says still crying.

Dyed?

“Hello? I think my sister was kidnapped! No she was walking home from the store. No she wouldn’t run away and all her friends can’t find her. My mom is driving around looking for her right now. But-” Thom takes the phone outside.

“I’m going to the store to see if anyone saw her.” Gale says.

“I’m going with you!” Prim shouts.

“Me too!” Both younger Hawthorne boys say at the same time.

This can’t be happening.

“Please find her, Gale.” Jo says taking C.J. back and sits down.

“Leave Posy with us. Just go.” I say.

After they leave I call Haymitch.

“Ok, Sweetheart. I got it you don’t want Coin on it cause she rubs you wrong. I’ll get my friend Boggs. Tell Thom to take a recent picture to the station. He and his mom need to fill out missing person forms and we’ll try to get an Amber Alert out. How many hours has it been?” Haymitch says after I explained everything to him.

“About two and a half hours. Haymitch do you think this was…” I ask.

“No need in jumping the gun here. Let’s get more facts. Have you called… Golden boy? He could help you. At least for support.” Haymitch asks.

He means Peeta.

“He needs to get ready to leave for college Haymitch. Not get dragged into more of my problems. We haven’t spoken since graduation night.” I say sadly.

“You could live a thousand lifetimes and never deserve that boy. Don’t you get it, girl? He wants to be by your side.” He fusses at me.

“Haymitch we don’t have time for this right now, okay?” I yell and hang up.

He won’t want to be by my side.

Not when I’m 9 months pregnant with someone else’s baby.

My phone rings.

“Catnip, so I’ve been asking around and Rue came in the store. Bought ketchup. And looked at a magazine for a couple of minutes then left. Who ever followed her was probably in the store. She walked to the corner and then turned like she was taking the short cut home. Even though Vic says her mom doesn’t like her to because of the cars going fast and she’d have to cross with no cross walk.”

“But Gale how could someone take her without anyone noticing? And how do you know she went that way-”

“Katniss, we just found the ketchup. It was in the park.” He says.

I hear Vic and Rory yelling and then wind.

“She crossed the street and then probably started running cause the bag has a rip. It’s farther away from the bottle but her receipt is in it. Dammit! He took her from the Park!” Gale says out of breath.

God please let her be okay.

“Oh God. Okay, I’ll call you back.” I end tears falling down my face.

“What is it?” Jo asks.

“Has Rue ever said anything about being followed ever before?”

“No.” I say.

“Do you know who would want to hurt her?”

He wants to hurt me.

“No.” I say.

“Had she always seemed like a happy kid or would she maybe want to get away from her family for any reason?”

You’re wasting time. It was Snow!

“No. She is happy and wouldn’t run away.” I say.

“Ok your done. Sign here.” Officer Lyme tells me.

After another two hours have passed, we’re all simultaneously, being questioned by officers, outside of Rue’s house.

“I already told you. No one would want to hurt my little sister, Man!” Thom shouts frustratedly.

Even with help from Boggs, they have to wait for approval to put out the Amber Alert. Apparently, because we don’t have a name, or description of who took her, also, because she is 14 instead of 2-10 year old? This is supposedly based on the “best judgment” approach.

So they’ve sent out uniforms to get info from us to question the store workers, the passers by at the time of the incident, and to look for more clues.

Since my neighborhood is crawling with cops, the news vans are back once again. Setting up camp exactly one hundred yards from where I’m sitting.

The reporters have already found out we think Rue was taken. I could say I’m upset, but because we don’t have an Amber Alert, they are actually proving themselves useful for something.

“Katniss! Katniss Everdeen! Effie Trinket, with channel 9 news. Can you tell us how you feel after everything you’ve been through, to now have a dear friend, abducted? Do you think it is the handy work of the elusive "Snow” character you keep claiming helped your own attacker?“ Effie yells at me from behind yellow caution tape.

"Shut up Effie.” Haymitch says pushing past her.

“Manners! Really Abernathy!” Effie shrieks at him.

Wonder how they know each other.

Haymitch shows the police officer his badge and they let him through.

“Hey, Look lady. My mom has my son in the house and he needs me, so could you hurry these questions along.” I hear Jo fussing at her questioning Officer, in the background.

They finished questioning Gale and Rory and Prim so I asked them to take Prim to their house. Thom and I just finished. I said I would stay with Vic till he was done. Haymitch went into my house to make some calls. My mom came home as soon as she heard, and is inside with Thom and Rooba.

“Ok, so you say that she had a feeling someone was following her, but she didn’t seem scared at first? Right?” Officer Jackson is taking Vic’s statement.

“Yeah, it seemed like she just wanted someone to know. Because, I think if she was scared at that point, she would have texted her brother to come get her or asked me to ask my brother to pick her up. But she maybe started getting closer to home and got scared for some reason, so she took the short cut and started running once she hit the park. She was almost home. She probably just thought she could make it.” Vic says.

Damn! She was so close.

“But then her other text. Makes it seem like she knew the person. So do you think it’s at all possible she is pulling a prank on you? Have you been in any fights lately?” Jackson asks.

“Mam’ I know your son is waiting. And I have family at home too. So the quicker we get through these questions. The quicker I can get outta your hair.” Officer Holmes is taking Jo’s statement and clearly both women are frustrated.

I’m siting in between the two questionings on the curb. Trying to think who died.

What are you trying to tell me Rue?

“No, man. We never fight. I haven’t even told her yet, but I love her. She’s been stressed lately cause Jo keeps getting phone calls from Cori, her baby’s daddy. He said he’s coming and wants to see his son. Plus it was freaking them out because he threatened Jo before about taken C.J. But other than that, she’s been the same.” Vic says.

Cori threatened to take C.J?

“Ok, so like I said yesterday C.J’s dad called and he said meet him around the corner. So I asked her to watch C.J. She rolled her eyes but she wasn’t upset, upset. She just worries about us. We talked after and she was fine.” Jo says.

Cori was around the corner yesterday?

“Calm down, Vic. We aren’t giving up ok?” Jackson says.

“He’s 6'2, light blond hair…” Jo says.

“If anything else comes to you just let us know.” Jackson says.

“No wait, he had blond hair but he dyed it for some reason, but he…”

He dyed it?

“Jo!” I yell.

“What?”

“He Dyed It! She was gonna put he dyed his hair!! Oh my god!” I cry.

Coriolanus. That was the boy who got teased in school! They called him SNOW!

“Cori took her! Cori took Rue!”

•••••••••••••••••

I’m barely able to control myself. I’m shaking with anger. I want to run and go find her now.

Jackson and Holmes just stare at me.

“What?” Vic says.

“Why would he? How do you know…?” Jo says.

Then she gets a far off look in her eyes. It’s hitting her that she seen the sketch of my description of snow and she once thought it looked kinda like him but the hair was too long and he only ever went by Cori with her.

Just then, Haymitch comes out saying the store has tapes from this afternoon and maybe we can find who ever took her. I tell him about Snow and Cori being the same person. I tell Vic to run and tell my mom and Rooba.

"I’m going to the police station with Jo. We are the only two who can identify him as the same person.” I tell Gale on the phone.

“Okay we’ll go to Rue’s and wait for you guys but Katniss? Be careful. Maybe you should call-” Gale says.

“Don’t… Say it. I’m letting him go. Just… please. Let me try to let him go.” I cut him off before he can say Peeta’s name.

“Fine. But he might be able to help and if it means finding Rue quicker.” Gale points out.

Damn you Gale!

“Fine. Just take care of them Gale, till we get back. He’s still out there.” I say frustrated.

“Okay. Your mom says all of you be careful.” He says and hangs up.

She means me, Jo and… her unborn grandchild.

We get in Haymitch’s car and I call Peeta’s phone. It goes straight to voicemail. So, I try texting him. But I still haven’t gotten an answer once we’ve pulled into the station.

“Boggs this is Katniss and Jo. They have both seen this guy. One as Snow and one as Cori.” Haymitch introduces us.

“Okay, to start with, do either of you know his last name and last known address?” Boggs asks.

“No, I don’t but he went to school with me so it could be in the yearbook.” I say.

“I… I don’t know it either.” Jo says ashamed.

No wonder C.J doesn’t have his last name.

“I met him in L.A. I didn’t even know he was from here. So the only address I have, is from there.” She continues.

“Alright, let’s get a Elsinore High School Year book in here.” Boggs yells at I don’t know whom.

“Let me show you girls the store tape.” Officer Holmes says taking us to another office.

After watching ten minutes of four blocked, black and white, fuzzy, footage, we see Rue going in the front. She gets ketchup pays for it. Stops at the magazines for a minute and then walks out.

“Wait, wait. Go back a little.” Jo says pointing at the screen.

Jackson rewinds it.

“There! Cori had on that same black hoodie when he came to see me.” Jo says.

We finish watching the tape the guy follows Rue out of the store. His hoodie is up going in and out so we don’t get a clear shot of his face.

“How could you tell?” I ask.

“The hoodie has a white rose spray painted on the back with some R.I.P and somebody’s graffiti type name.” Jo says.

“Ok. Very good that’s a clear clothes I.D of him; being at the last place she was seen. Now it still could be a coincidence that Cori took Rue, for whatever reason. So we need proof Snow and Cori are the same person.” Jackson says and takes out the tape and puts it in an evidence bag.

I still haven’t heard back from Peeta. Impatient, I call the bakery. His brother Graham picks up.

“Mellark’s bakery. You need hot buns? We got em’. Ouch, Ma! How can I help you?” Graham says clearly having been popped for playing.

“Hey Graham it’s Katniss have you seen-” I start but he cuts me off.

“Ooooh Ryan is looking for you two. He’s pissed Peet hasn’t brought his car back yet.” Graham says.

Looking for us two?

“Oh! Uh… Peeta isn’t with me. Did he say he would be? Haven’t you seen the news?” I ask.

“Yeah he said he had to use Ry’s car to see you and show you something important, and no to the news. We don’t have a T.V in here but I get off and 9:00, when we close. Why?” He asks.

Show me something important? About Snow?

“Rue Mason was kidnapped today at around 4:30 walking back from the store and after a bunch of questioning we figured out it was Joanna’s baby daddy and we think he is Snow. But I haven’t seen Peeta and now I’m worried. He won’t answer his phone.” I tell Graham.

“Shit! Are you serious? Ok look, he took Ry’s car. It has On Star. Ask the police to highjack it or whatever they do to find it. I’m gonna tell my parents. Here, take down my cell phone so you can keep us informed.” Graham says.

“Thanks. Ok.”

After I store his number. And tell Jo and Haymitch what he just told me. Boggs decides that although we are worried about Peeta he hasn’t been missing long enough to cause alarm. So unless we find a link between Cori and Snow and Rue being missing to Peeta being, possibly missing, they are four separate things.

“Fuck that!” Jo yells and slams a desk.

“Calm down! Let’s think.” Haymitch chastises her.

“Ok so can I look up yearbooks online? Jo does Cori have a MySpace or a… a face space?” Jackson asks.

“It’s Facebook. And no. Not that I know of. The number he’s been calling me on is out of service. And the other cop, Holmes ran the plate of the car I saw him get out of. It was stolen and found empty already.” Jo says exasperated.

How the hell did he get Rue to where he took her? Un-noticed, on foot?

“I don’t even know if he went to Elsinore High. I saw him when I was in middle school he was in 8th grade when I was in 6th. That means we need the David A. Brown Middle school year book.” I say also aggravated at our seemingly dead end.

“I know it feels hopeless but the Amber Alert is out with Rue’s picture and Cori’s description and we need to breathe and look through these pictures.” Jackson says.

Okay stay calm and breathe.

God I’m nauseous.

“Thank God! You found the online middle school yearbook.” Jo says.

I text Gale what’s happening with Peeta and the case. So the family is up to speed.

Gale texts me back that he remembers a Cori in his class in middle school. Mr. Leeg’s class specifically, possibly married to my old teacher Mrs. Leeg. It was very helpful. After what seemed like hours…

“That’s him! Coriolanus Thread!” I say pointing at his picture.

“Yeah that’s Cori just younger.” Jo says.

“I knew it.” I say.

Please let Rue and Peeta be ok.

“So we can go to his house and get Rue right?” Jo asks impatiently.

“Okay ladies. Your work is done thank you. We’ll keep you posted as to our investigation.” Coin is standing at the doorway to the office and all of us appear shocked at her presence.

“Well I… we still need to find Peeta.” I say.

“Yes, well in 48 hours if he hasn’t returned, his folks can fill out a missing persons form but you can go home for now. Jackson you’ll escort them home won’t you?” Coin says and I get the feeling she wants us gone.

What is up your ass lady?

“Uh, let’s get you two home then.” Jackson says.

“Haymitch where were you when the dragon lady snuck up on us?” I say kicking his foot.

He fell asleep on a bench beside the vending machine while we looked at the yearbook pictures.

Ugh! And he smells like whiskey.

“What? Who?” Haymitch grumbles but sits up.

“Great brainless! Now your drunk ass can’t drive us home.” Jo says to Haymitch.

He burps. Then Jackson comes over and gathers all the statements and evidence for Rue and Snow/Cori. He puts it in a box. And puts it on his desk.

“Don’t worry about him. He’s been around a long time. He will continue to be around and drink and win cases. Why don’t I get Officer Messalla here to help me drive you all home?” Jackson says.

Messalla smiles at Jackson and says it would be her pleasure. I go in Jackson’s car with Holmes. Jo and Haymitch follow in the car with Messalla and her partner Officer Mitchell.

“Jackson? What if Peeta went looking for Sn- Cori and he got him too?” I ask.

“Well, we don’t know that Peeta did that.” He says.

“Yeah but his brothers car has OnStar if they reported it stolen then you’d have to look for it right?” I ask.

Little does he know, 15 minutes ago, I asked Graham to do that very thing.

“Yes, but Katniss, I’m not about to go looking for it right now with you in the-”

“Be advised. We’ve got a possible 10-16. Dark Blue Chevy Malibu, license number. November-8-Romeo-Yankee-Delta-Romeo. OnStar Navigational says last pinged 1730. It’s located at…” Dispatch says through the car radio.

Yes! Thank you Graham.

“N8RYDR? What is that?” Jackson asks.

“Night Rider.” I say pleased with myself for thinking of the plan and figuring out the license plate.

“Hey uh, Jackson, that address is pretty close. We could check it out real quick.” Messalla’s voice comes through the radio.

“Katniss. You did that didn’t you?” Jackson accuses.

“Jackson, I know they are connected. Please?” I beg.

Meanwhile, in the car behind us, Jo is telling Haymitch why we got kicked out so fast.

“So Coin basically said we no longer need your services. Even though, without you girls they’d have precisely Bubkis? That about right? So what did you two find in the online yearbook?” Haymitch asks her.

“That his last name is Thread.” Jo says.

“Did you say Tread or Thread? As in Romulus Thread.” Haymitch asks.

“T-H-R-E-A-D. Why-”

“Yo, coppers we need to turn this thing around! Now!” Haymitch yells at Messalla and Mitchell.

“What the hell, Haymitch?” Jo yells.

“Hey sir! Calm down, we’re about to investigate The Mellark’s stolen car that Katniss was so eager to find.” Messalla says.

“Jo, do you have a phone?” Haymitch asks her.

“Yeah old man. Are you still drunk?” Jo says.

“Boggs guess what your perps last name is? Thread. Yeah like Romulus Thread. No, I don’t know if she knows just make sure she doesn’t leave.

"Okay, Katniss we are now conducting a ride along. That means you are going with us to check out the stolen vehicle but you are to stay in the car. For all we know Peeta is just with his girlfriend or something.” Jackson says.

Ouch! Why does that sting so bad?

“He doesn’t have a girlfriend.” I mumble under my breath.

Jo texts me that Haymitch said Romulus Thread was Alma Coins Father and ex Chief of Police.

Is Snow related to her?

“Jackson! Alma Coin is Romulus Threads daughter. Why does Cori have the same last name as her father?” I ask.

“Come to think of it. Alma is married, now. So, she could have her husbands last name.” Holmes offers up.

I text Gale with an update. My mom tells him to tell us to come home and let police handle it. Jo gets the same kind of text from Thom.

But Rue is out here and she needs us, and maybe Peeta too.

“Mess, Mitchell, you wanna check it out?” Jackson asks through his radio.

“10-4. We’re on it.” Messalla replies through the radio.

We pull up the address. I can’t see Ry’s car and I’m scared about why it’s here in the first place.

We’re in a poorly lit area and there’s a long driveway leading to a decent sized house. The house only has one light on upstairs. The houses on either side are at least half an acre away. There are a few trees in the surrounding area.

“Katniss can you call Peeta and see if the phone rings?” Jackson asks me.

I do and it rings until it goes to voicemail again. But we see a small blue light in the darkness on the side of the house.

Is Peeta’s phone here?

Where is he?

Is Rue here too?

“Okay M&M. Your up.” Jackson says into the radio.

“Is that your nickname for them?” I ask.

“Yeah, we call Messalla and Mitchell, Slim Shady or M&M. They call me and Holmes, Josh and Katey or Pacey and Joey. So fair is fair.” She says.

“Who? Are those your first names?” I ask.

“Really you’ve never heard of Dawson’s Creek, kid? I keep forgetting how young y-” Holmes is cut off by the radio.

“J, this is the right car but it’s empty. I can hear someone shouting in the house. Should we knock and ask about the vehicle or treat the situation with caution?” Messalla asks almost whispering.

I can’t breathe.

Who’s shouting?

“No don’t knock. Just head back to your car and-"Jackson starts.

"S- someone is coming out if the house we are hiding behind the car. Going silent.” Messalla whispers and then there’s no noise.

“Shit!” Holmes says.

“Katniss I’m going to let you out to go to the other car with Haymitch and Joanna. We have to go back up our officers.” Jackson tells me.

He gets out, opens my door and I run to the car about ten feet behind the one I got out of. When I look back Jackson and Holmes are gone.

“Open the door brainless.” Jo says.

“Now, I know you want to run over there and endanger your life, Sweetheart. But you sit your ass down.” Haymitch tells me.

Jo and I sit on the trunk of the car. Feeling anxious and helpless and hyper aware of my surroundings I see lights coming down the road and tap Jo. She sees it too.

“Haymitch get out of the car.” I whisper.

We close the door quietly and hide behind some trees until the car passes.

“Put your hands up and get on the ground!” Holmes shouts from close to the house.

“Coriolanus! Get in the house!”

“Damn if that didn’t sound like Coin.” Haymitch says.

We start moving closer to the house trying to hide in the shadows.

“Excuse us, Detective Coin, but that man is wanted for questioning. Because this car was reported stolen less than an hour ago and we think he may be the same perp that assisted in the Everdeen rape. So he needs to come with us.” Jackson states as calmly as he can.

“Help!”

“Hey we’re in here!”

“Mess check out the basement!” Holmes yells after hearing two voices coming from under the house.

Rue and Peeta?

Pop! Pop!

“Mitchell!” Messalla screams.

“Stop! Now!” Holmes shouts.

“Lower your weapon Jackson!” Coin yells.

“You lower your weapon! You just shot a fellow officer!” Jackson yells back.

“We have an officer down at 736 Capitol Way. Requesting an ambulance… and back up.”

“What do you want to do Coin? Cori is in handcuffs. You just shot and officer and there are three guns on you. Is this worth it?” Jackson tries to reason with her.

“He’s my son alright! Would it be worth it to you?” Coin says.

Her son?

Jo gasps next to me. It all makes sense now. If Snow is really Cato’s cousin, that means he’s her nephew. No wonder she treated me that way in the hospital when we first met. I told her, her nephew and her son, however inadvertently, raped me.

“Coin, we don’t want anymore blood shed here tonight. What can we do to make that happen?” Jackson negotiates.

There is a loud bang in the house the stomping up stairs and another bang. Followed by the front door opening.

“Let my son go.” Coin orders.

“You know I can’t do that.” Jackson says.

Then I see them. First Rue. Then Peeta.

They’re alive.

Haymitch grabs both Jo and I’s mouth. Good thing cause we both let out muffled screams.

“Shh! You have to be quiet! We may be the only witnesses to this scene.” Haymitch whispers.

We both shake our heads in agreement. So he lets go.

Sirens are headed towards us.

Pop!

Coin shot Jackson!

He falls down. More shots are fired. Holmes shoots Coin in the shoulder. Messalla shoots Coin in the knee.

A shot must go into Peeta and Rues direction toward the house, because Peeta covers Rue and then slumps down to the ground.

Peeta!

Somehow in the shuffle Cori must’ve gotten away. I feel dizzy. They have to catch him.

When will this nightmare end?

Coin is lying on the ground. Jackson gets her gun away from her and starts reading Coin her rights. The ambulance is coming down the driveway. Messalla leaves Mitchell to check on Jackson.

I can’t help it anymore. I run to Peeta and Rue. Jo’s hot on my heels.

“Rue!” Jo calls.

“Jo! Katniss!” Rue cries.

She’s ok!

But Peeta isn’t moving.

“Peeta! Peeta can you hear me?” I yell.

“He saved me.” Rue cries into Jo’s shoulder.

“Peeta? Please be okay.” I say my tears falling onto him.

I lean close to him but try not to crush him. I feel his neck for a pulse. His heart is beating. I check his arms and chest for bullet holes.

“It’s his leg. His leg is bleeding. He’ll be ok right?” Rue asks in a small voice.

“Did that bastard hurt you?” Jo asks Rue.

“No. Peeta wouldn’t let him.” Rue says.

How long was Peeta with her?

“Excuse me miss. Is he hurt?” A paramedic asks me.

“Yes. His name is Peeta Mellark.” I say crying.

I move and let the paramedics do there job. They cart away Mitchell, Jackson, Coin and Peeta. They check Rue. But she’s relatively fine. Messalla and Holmes drive Haymitch, Jo, Rue, and I home.

“I’m sorry he got away again.” Holmes tells me holding it together better than I am.

“I’m sorry about Jackson.” I tell her.

The nightmares I faced last night were the worst I’ve ever had. First, Prim comes in and holds me till I fall back asleep. Then when I scream the second time, mom comes in and lays beside us both.

I stay somewhere between drifting back to sleep and startling myself back awake for the rest of the night. Not to mention having to get up to go pee every two hours or so.

Thanks to mom. I haven’t had as much nausea. She gives me ginger candies to suck on and peppermint tea.

Being pregnant is not without its challenges, but a lot of the time I forget about it until I’m starving or something that used to fit feels irritatingly tight on my lower abdomen. Most of my clothes were always a little baggy though, so no one has noticed anything.

I decide to go see Peeta in the morning. Plus, I want to check on Jackson and Mitchell too. We stop to check on Rue and the family first.

Rue was shaken up but relatively unharmed. We told her how her text message helped us figure out who Snow was. She was as glad as she could be still worrying about Peeta’s injury.

“You really should thank Peeta for his part as well.” Rue tells me.

“Yeah, if he hadn’t gone looking for Snow. We couldn’t have tracked his car to Rue.” Thom says.

“And not to mention Detective Catnip here.” Gale chimes in.

“No really. It was everyone’s effort. Without Jo and Vic I would never have figured out the connection with Snow and Cori. Without Officer Jackson and Holmes, and Messalla, and Mitchell. Coin would have gotten away with covering the whole thing up.” I say still shocked at the events that transpired.

“Hey everybody. Breakfast is ready.” Rooba calls in a voice that we’ve all become accustom to.

Rooba’s blessing over the meal this morning was filled with extra gratefulness to have her daughter was back home safe, well wishes for our families. Also, with hope that Jackson, Mitchell and Peeta recover fast and faith that Cori will be caught and brought to justice for all his crimes.

After we all eat. My mom and I head to the hospital. Unfortunately so has every news reporter in the state it seems.

Boggs called a press conference. As we walk up we see the Mellark family and Holmes and Messalla.

They’re explaining that Coin was apprehended. That with the work of the fine officers involved, they saved Rue and Peeta from Coriolanus Thread, who is indeed the very same rape accomplice, Snow. But that he regrettably got away. They ask if anyone knows his whereabouts to please contact their local authorities.

They mention how heroic Peeta was, and say he was badly hurt but should make a full recovery. Lieutenant Castor Jackson is in critical condition. Officer Pollux Mitchell died of his injuries just an hour ago.

Mitchell’s family comes to the podium and speaks. Next to say a few words is Jackson’s sister. Then finally, Peeta’s dad. I, along with probably most of America, shed a few tears at the things said about these brave men. And Peeta gets included in their honored and distinguished band.

I sneak into the hospital and tip toe in to Jackson’s wing. I get a glimpse of him through a door; before a nurse tells me I can’t be in here, unless I’m family. She recognized me though and tells me she’ll keep my mom informed of his progress. I thank her and leave.

You can survive this Jackson.

I ask one of the officers on guard where Coin is being held. Once they tell me, my feet involuntarily go in the direction of her room. When I get to her room, she has a bandage on her shoulder and she’s handcuffed to the bed by her hands and feet. But she is awake.

“What do you want?” She spits.

To know how you could protect him.

“You knew your son was involved in my rape, didn’t you?” I ask.

“No. He didn’t rape you. My son wouldn’t do that.” She deflates at the end and starts crying.

Holmes comes in, “Katniss you shouldn’t be in here. Peeta is asking for you.”

Coin chuckles at me, through her tears.

“You know, they were heavily into drugs. And Jo says that’s why she broke up with Cori and didn’t even tell him about the baby at first. Not that it excuses their behavior. But maybe they were good kids, once. But can’t you see that he has changed, and isn’t a good person anymore?” I ask to Coin angered by her disregard.

“Oh, shut up you bitch! You don’t know what it’s like to have a child and raise them. For them to, turn on you. Act like you’re the enemy. He went to go live with his father and stopped calling and coming to visit. But he’s still my son. He just needed help and now he could be dead somewhere!” She screams at me.

“Yes or he could be planning to kill someone! He’s not stable. Kidnapping a helpless little girl, and threatening the mother of his child? Come on Alma, he needs to be in custody. Tell us where he is. Please before it’s too late.” Holmes says to Coin.

Coin starts cursing and yelling, “Wait and see! Just wait and see! You bitch!” While pulling her arms up and failing around. Holmes takes me out of there and nurses rush in to sedate Coin.

“Katniss, what were you thinking going in there?” Holmes asks me as we walk to Peeta’s room.

“I don’t know. I just thought she had a human side and would be remorseful for everything. Mitchell’s dead because she shot him. And Jackson… According to Haymitch, she used to be a good cop. I wanted to believe there was good left in her, because maybe then, there could be good somewhere in Snow. He is out there and he could try to hurt my loved ones. I don’t want to feel like a victim to him anymore.” I admit.

“Then don’t. He doesn’t control that and he will get caught eventually. My guess is he got as far away from here as he could, to hide with his tail between his legs. And if he ever comes back we will be prepared. You can be too. Take some self-defense classes. Keep going to see that Dr. Aurelius. And keep your eyes open. You have really good instincts and you’re a smart girl. Don’t doubt that. Have faith in yourself.” Holmes tells me.

“Thanks. Do you think Jackson’s gonna pull through?” I ask.

“I think so. He’s a fighter, you know.” She says.

“Hey.” Peeta says as I walk into his room.

“Hey. How you feelin’?” I ask scared he hates me.

“Oh, you know. I feel shot in the leg.” He says and manages a small smile.

He’s okay. Don’t cry.

“I’m so sorry you were in that situation. But I shudder to think what could’ve happened to Rue, if you hadn’t been there.” I say trying to swallow the lump in my throat.

“She might’ve gotten away if not for me.” He says.

“What do you mean? She told us you saved her. More than once.” I dispute

“Well, I couldn’t let him hurt her. But before that, I got out my old middle school yearbook, to try and find the guy that got teased in school. I asked Ry to barrow his car. Even though you weren’t talking to me, I thought you’d want to see it. I was on my way to your house, when I saw Rue running through the park.” Peeta tells me.

“Oh My God! That’s how he took her without anyone seeing.” I gasp.

“Yeah, she saw me, ran to the car, started trying to explain that she thought someone was following her. Then he popped out from behind a tree with a gun. He grabbed her and said he’d shoot her if I didn’t do what he said. He made me get in the trunk. My phone was in the front of the car so I couldn’t call anyone. She later told me he took off his hoodie, put it on her, and pulled the hoodie over her face. He put her in the passenger seat and held the gun to her while he drove, telling her he’d shoot her if she tried anything funny. I think she started typing a text message while in the car with him, but she got scared and stopped. He drove us to the house you found us at, and I prepared to try and wrestle him when he opened the trunk. But he had Rue do it and held the gun to her head. I was scared he was gonna kill her just to get back at me for beating up Cato and testifying against him. I had no idea at first that he was C.J’s dad.” Peeta relays his story.

“How did she send the text then?” I ask.

“Once he got us inside. He had me duck tape Rue’s mouth and hands in front of her and then hit me on the head. I woke up in the basement and Rue was tied to a chair and my hands were tied behind my back. She couldn’t see that well because it was dark and she couldn’t look down because of how she was bound. But I’m guessing she typed the part about how she loved her family in the car. I could talk, but I threw up once and I was dizzy. The doctors are saying I had a concussion from Snow hitting me on my head. But I talked to Rue and I told her that the guy who took us was Snow he just cut and dyed his hair. She had hid the phone in her bra and wiggled until it fell down her shirt and she tried to text info to Vic. So he could get help and you could connect Snow as Cory. But we heard movement and she started to panic and pushed send before he came down. Then I turned around and grabbed it from her. We’re so dumb we should’ve called 911. I hid the phone behind me on the floor. He came in yelling about what a mess we made of everything and he called Jo some bad names. When he left I grabbed to phone and tried to give it back to Rue but she started crying cause the phone had died.” Peeta says.

“Peeta I’m so sorry. If I would’ve been in touch with you, we could’ve met somewhere. Maybe you wouldn’t have been on the way to my house. Maybe Rue would’ve made it home before he grabbed her and nobody would be dead and hurt right now.” I start crying.

“Yeah, but we probably wouldn’t have Coin, or Snow on the run. If I showed you the yearbook and we went to the police Coin would’ve made sure no one found out. She may have just killed us both and covered it up. And according to the police, I think his ultimate goal was to take C.J from Jo. I know Rue is happier her nephew was safe even if that meant her being taken in his place. Katniss, I will heal. Jackson and Mitchell are courageous police officers who know every time they put on the uniform, their lives are at risk. They wouldn’t want you blaming yourself. Trust me.” Peeta says.

I run over to him and wrap my arms around him in a hug. He hugs me back.

“Katniss. Don’t cry. It’s okay. Pleas-”

I stop his mouth with my lips. My impulse to do something I’ve wanted to do for so long taking over. Peeta’s lips are soft and warm against mine.

He seems taken off guard at first. But he quickly takes ahold of my face and the upper hand. What starts as a gentle, sweet, kiss, becomes more passionate and frantic.

He lightly licks my top lip. I open up willingly letting him invade my mouth, and tangle our tongues, coaxing a delicate moan out of me.

I’ve never been kissed like this.

I feel high and ignited. My hands clutch the fabric at his chest and the hair at the nape of his neck. He runs and hand down from my shoulder, to my back. Caressing my side. Then sliding onto my hip. Peeta’s fingers dip slightly into the top of my jeans, sending chills through my whole body.

I feel tension in my belly and then a bump! I jerk away from Peeta unlatching our lips. His face is flushed and shocked.

Oh! What was that?

“Katniss. I’m sorry. Are you ok? I’m sorry I should… I shouldn’t have kissed you.” He fumbles.

Shouldn’t have? Why?

“I kissed you. But umm… my stomach hurts. I gotta go, Peeta.” I say rushing out.

I find my mom. I explain the weird feeling I felt.

What’s happening?

“Katniss, you just felt your baby move!” Mom tells me quietly, so no one else can here.

“Oh! Okay, so nothing’s wrong with me?” I say relieved.

“No. You’ve been under a lot of stress lately. Why, what were you doing? When you felt it?”

Kissing Peeta Mellark.

“Um. Just hanging out with Peeta. He is doing better by the way.” I half-lie.

“Okay. Good. So you’re alright then?” She asks.

Am I?

Was what I was doing wrong?

Is that why the baby chose that moment to scare the crap out of me?

“Uh huh.” I say.

“Okay, love you. Why don’t we get you home?” She says.

At home, I get on the computer and look at the school I was accepted to. It has a lot of grants and student loan options. If I live on campus and get a job, will I have time for a baby?

I click on a link for a scholarship program and somehow get to a scholarship application.

May as well apply right?

I start filling it out and then I get a text.

Peeta- I just want to make sure you’re ok. Please text me back.

Katniss- Yes. I’m fine. I just needed to get out of there. I’m home now. Sorry, I kissed you. I’m not sure where that came from.

Peeta- Maybe it came from your feelings for me?

Katniss- Peeta, I shouldn’t have feelings for you because I’m going away to school. You’re going away to school and we are great as friends. If we complicate that it could be bad. I just don’t think we’re ready.

Peeta- You mean you’re not ready. I could be ready. I wanted to ask you out remember?

Katniss- Yes, but Peeta, then life happened. We are, broken and carry battle scars. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready. You might not feel the same way about me forever.

Peeta- Why won’t you let me decide what I feel for you and how long I want to feel it? I’ve felt it for years.

Katniss- You’ve felt what for years?

Peeta- Katniss can I see you?

Katniss- Your in the hospital? I just saw you.

Peeta- No, when I’m out. I’ll come by after I’m released.

Katniss- Okay but Peeta. Just focus on getting better.

Peeta- Thank you.

Katniss- You’re Welcome.

Peeta- Goodnight Katniss.

After texting Peeta, I go back to the computer. I get to the section of the application where you must write an essay. I stay up all night writing it. In the morning, I’m exhausted.

My phone rings. Haymitch tells me that Jackson woke up and he’s doing much better. But that Coin committed suicide last night.

What else could happen?

“Sweetheart, that’s not all. We think Cori snuck into the hospital last night.” Haymitch says.

Peeta!

“Your boys okay. It’s just that if he went there to see his mom. Then he knows she died and Boggs is worried he’ll want revenge so he wants to put you and your sister and your mom into Witness Protection. And frankly, I agree.” Haymitch says.

“But. But Haymitch?”

“We would be putting Rooba, Jo, C.J and Rue in also. But Thom refuses. Says he’s going out of state for college anyway and can’t disappear without Delly. The Hawthorne crew hasn’t had any threats so we can’t move them either.” Haymitch tells me.

This is crazy!

“What about? I was planning to go to school also.” I say still in shock.

“Yeah, well we could talk to the board of admissions and tell them your situation. They can recommend you to a similar school in another state and the government will be moving you and… and changing your names. But they’ll be finding your mom a good job. So I think you will find you end up in a higher tax bracket from now on. I’m sorry about the boy.” Haymitch says.

“Peeta isn’t my boyfriend. I guess now’s as good a time as any to tell you. I’m pregnant. I don’t want to hold back his future so…” I say tears welling up in my eyes.

“Wait is it-”

“It’s my baby, Haymitch. And I expect you to keep attorney, client confidentiality about that information. When do we have to leave?” I ask as stoically as I can.

“Two days.”

The events over the last four months have been life changing. Haymitch will be able to contact us and he’s assured us as soon as Coriolanus “Snow” Thread is caught we can return. But my faith that will happen is shaken.

Our last meal at Hazelle’s is rough. Rue and Prim are equally happy they get to stay together as they are devastated to be leaving Vic and Rory.

Gale invites Madge and Thom invites Delly. I saw Finnick and Annie before they left for the airport yesterday. BeeTee and Wiress both got early admissions and left before the kidnapping but have been sending their love through email and are sad we won’t be able to email anymore.

We try to remember the good times we’ve had around this huge kitchen table. We laugh. We cry. Everyone is putting on a brave face since half of this makeshift family is leaving in the morning.

Peeta is still in the hospital. Peeta has texted me goodnight, every night since we started helping each other get through the nights. Even when I wasn’t talking to him, he texted it. Tonight, for the last time on this phone, I text back.

Katniss- Goodnight Peeta.

“Peeta, why do you want to make this harder than it has to be? Stop putting yourself in danger for me.”

“Kat you were gonna leave without telling me. If I hadn’t over heard Holmes talking to Messalla, I still wouldn’t know. Of course I snuck out.”

He knocked on my window at midnight and I let him in. He looks so hurt that I could leave him.

“It’s raining, there’s a psychopath on the loose and you have a a metal pin and stitches in your leg.” I whisper so I don’t wake the whole house.

He carefully takes my hands in his. They’re surprisingly warm considering he just came in out of the cold. I hope he doesn’t have a fever.

“Tell me you don’t care about me?”

“Peeta what?” I shake my head and turn around.

“Can you say you don’t?”

“Peeta, we aren’t discussing this now. I’m leaving in the mornin’-“

“I love you, Katniss. I love you.”

I spin back around and he’s has unshed tears in his eyes.

“I’ve tried not to tell you. Because all the books say it’s too soon after this kind of tragedy to put this kind of pressure on you. I don’t want anything from you. You don’t owe me anything. But I have to tell you before you go. I know you care about me too.”

I close the small distance between us and kiss him like I did in the hospital. I think about what he’s just told me, and everything I know. Not only does he love me, it seems he has had feelings for me for a while because he remembers me singing in kindergarten. He wanted to ask me to Prom and he was sweet enough to stand by because someone beat him to it. He took pictures with me and let our friends tease him about being alone. He was no doubt angry I was being dumb and could’ve tried to steal me from the date, but he’s always thinking of others. He knew I needed help and he blamed himself for what happened. But he was my rock through all of the aftermath. Keeping me safe. Helping me feel safe. Always being cautious of my fear and never making me fear him. He read about how to deal with survivors. He himself is quite a survivor and he stayed away when I pushed him away. All the while selflessly putting his wishes on the back burner, for me.

“Peeta, I love you too. I have to go tomorrow. But I… I want you to stay with me, tonight.”

“Always.”

“I don’t know if you can forgive me for being so stupid and oblivious but I-“

“I already told you. You never need to apologize to me, love.” He says hugging me tight.

I sit on my bed and pull him down with me. He’s got an arm around me and draws little soothing shapes on my shoulders.

“Will I be able to contact you? I guess not, huh? Well, can I write to you? Maybe under a false name, or through Haymitch?”

I shake my hand no. The tears fall down both our faces as the gravity of the situation hits us.

“Kat, say something. Please.”

“Will you? Would you…” I cover me face with my hands. “I’m not good at saying something.”

“What do you need?” He asks and in that moment, I know he’d give me the moon if he could.

“I need you.” I tell him honestly.

“You have me. Okay? You don’t need to worry-“

“I need you, Peeta.” I emphasize the need that I feel growing with the revelation of my feelings.

“Oh. OH… you mean? But you… we… Katniss? Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

It’s not crazy rush passion or exactly how he might’ve imagined it.

We slowly explore each other’s bodies and get to know what feels amazing. I don’t expect much so it’s even more meaningful when he makes me climax with just his hands and then him mouth.

“You’re so beautiful and strong. Don’t ever let anyone tell your you’re not.” He whispers in the ear he just nibbled.

“I have to tell you something.”

“You’re pregnant aren’t you?” He guesses.

“How? When did you know?”

He gently rubs my belly as he rolls me on my side and lines up our bodies so he can enter me for a second time tonight.

“I was always aware of the possibility. But the morning sickness, the way you craved cheese buns, and when you fainted. I was pretty sure. I thought that’s why you pushed me away, but Katniss?”

He pushes in and I gasp at how good it feels.

“I love you, so much. How could I not love the baby?” He clarifies.

“Peeta, I love you.”

We finish together in a handful of moans and sighs.

I wake to a knock on my door.

I don’t feel him in the bed. In fact I’m in the clothes I wore yesterday.

It was just a dream?

“Haymitch called, sis. We can go back.” Prim says tears in her eyes.

I’m so shocked I almost miss the whirlwind of little legs.

“Mama wake-ity up. Come on, cereal s’ready.”

[everlarkficexchange]

The Misunderstanding Part Four

Prompt 36: Visual Prompt [submitted by @567inpanem] Colors that inspire? (Orange, flowers - also vows taken at sunset, bridesmaids wore silver dresses.)

Un betae’d all mistakes are mine

Prompt 36: by @mega-aulover  

Rated G

The Misunderstanding Part Four.

PART 1, PART 2, PART 3

September 14, 1945

Months after the entire district was stunned by the sudden romance and engagement of Katniss and Peeta, Katniss found no rest. At first, everyone couldn’t believe Peeta Mellark had chosen her, they stared at them. Many thought she was pregnant and naturally, Peeta was doing the right thing. Not used to the prying eyes she often wanted to hide but Peeta held her hand proudly. Her Aunt was bent on making sure the wedding was a social success and with the help of Cinna and Portia it was going to be a gas.

Katniss was fast asleep on her bed.

Prim knocked on Katniss door. “Katniss, are you awake?”

Katniss turned in her bed.

“Katniss,” Prim called again, this time opened the door.

Katniss was buried under blankets even though it was July. Katniss was perpetually cold.

“COME ON KATNISS RISE AND SHINE!” Primrose jumped on the brass bead waking up Katniss from her sleep.

“Priiiiimmmm,” Katniss groaned. “Please let me sleep. I walked the entire length of District Eleven’s shops. My feet hurt. My arms hurt. My eyes hurt, from looking at all of the wedding stuff.”

Prim hugged her sister, “Sorry about that. But you know you’re excited to get married to Peeta.”

“Wedding shemding,” Katniss muttered from within her blankets.

“No, you’re not,” Prim smug tone, caused Katniss to chuckle. “Katniss, can we talk about it,” Prim sang.

“No.”

“Pleeasseees Katniss.”

Katniss sat up she had dark circles under her eyes. “Prim can’t you see I’m knackered.”

“But I want Vic to sit at the table with me.” Primrose put on her pouting face. This would normally work on Katniss but she was exhausted and at the moment all she wanted to do was rest.

“No,” Katniss slumped back onto the bed.

“Come on Katniss, why can’t you ease up?” Prim complained getting into Katniss face.

“Prim Vic is going to want to sit with his family,” Katniss rolled her eyes heavenward. Ever since Prim learned of the marriage she’d began her campaign. After two weeks of hearing about it day and night, Katniss was getting tired of it.

Prim got out of the bed upset. “UGH, Aunt Effie won’t mind.”

“Primrose Everdeen,” Katniss growled.

“You sounded like Buttercup whenever he’s around you.”

“Prim don’t ever compare me to your cat,” Katniss sourly answered.

“I don’t understand why you won’t say yes.”

Katniss rubbed her head as she sat up, “bugger” she quietly uttered. “Why?”

“What,” Prim cocked her head to the side.

Katniss patted her side of the bed “Why, this big kafuffle?”

“You’re leaving and I’m going to be alone, by myself,” Primrose sat on the bed and put her head on Katniss shoulder. “Vic is always nice to me and Buttercup likes him.”

“But at the wedding, you’ll sit next to mother, Uncle Haymitch, and Aunt Effie,” Katniss touched her sisters head.

“It’s not the same, you’ve been the one who has always taken care of me, you’ve been a mother, my sister and best friend.”

“Okay,” Katniss was about to speak more but her sister pounced.

“Oh Katniss….” Effie sang, her voice could be heard coming from the stairs.

Katniss groaned.

Prim giggled.

“I haven’t seen Peeta in three days, Prim. Effie has kept me busy with the wedding stuff.”

“I’m sorry this wedding has been so crummy. But just think of it in less than twenty-four hours you’re going to be Mrs. Peeta Mellark.”

“I want to marry Peeta but this hunt for fabric, flowers, and details it’s a dreadful bore. Cinna understands and he helps out but Aunt Effie, well she’s like Winston Churchill a bull in a china shop.”

“I’ve got an idea. I’ll cause a distraction so that you can sneak out.”

“Thank you!” Katniss hugged her sister grateful for her assistance, and less than a half-hour later Katniss was sneaking out of the house.

Katniss made her way to the bakery a small smile on her face. She agreed to give her sister a pet and Katniss wasn’t sure this was a good idea. As rounded the corner a smile crept onto her face when she saw the sign. “Mellark’s Bakery.”

She was tempted to walk to the front of the bakery, she had every right but didn’t. Instead, she went in through the back door. The smell of freshly baking bread caused her smile to widen.

“Katniss what brings you here?” Mr. Mellark was the image of Peeta, broad-shouldered handsome, and with a gentle spirit.

“I snuck away to see Peeta.”

He chuckled, “I’ve heard you’re Aunt has you busy.”

Katniss blushed, “My Aunt means well.”

“But she is eager.”

“If I see one more silver fabric,” Katniss shook her head groaning.

Mr. Mellark kindly smiled put his hand on her shoulder, “The wedding is tomorrow my dear child.”

She blushed, “Do you suppose, Peeta can have the afternoon off.”

“Hello you gorgeous dish,” Rye picked up Katniss by the waist and spun her around. “Why don’t you ditch my baby brother and get hitched with me I’m a better hoofer.”

“Rye,” Katniss shouted laughing, “Put me down!”

Rye had come home weeks ago. He wasn’t as stocky as Peeta and was shorter. Rye was a fine pilot and nearly died a few times in dogfights with the Luftwaffe. Peeta’s brother was a little reckless and wanted nothing to do with the bakery. He was interested in furthering his career as a pilot.

“Doll face, you’re missing out,” Rye put his finger to her nose.

“No she isn’t Rye, now Katniss is here to steal our Peeta away for a while and since you’re such an eager beaver, you’re going to take his place for the day.” Mr. Mellark winked at Katniss as he addressed Rye.

“The sacrifices I have to make,” Rye dramatically announced, he put on an apron then walked through the swinging door. “Oh knucklehead,” Rye sang, “Your dolly is here for you.”

Peeta was pushed through the door less than a minute later. He looked flushed as if he got into a minor scuffle with his brother. However the moment his blue eyes registered her he grinned. “Katniss.”

Katniss took in his state. She hadn’t seen him in three days and he looked wonderful in dark trousers, boots that were double knotted and button down white shirt, with the sleeves rolled up showing his arms. It was too hot in the bakery to wear a vest. A lock of his blond hair fell over his forehead. She took a whiff of him and her toes curled in her shoes, cinnamon, dill and all man.

Peeta walked toward her and immediately embraced her. Katniss stood on tiptoe to place her head in the crook of his neck. It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him how much she yearned for him but Peeta beat her to it. “I’ve missed you.”

His father ducked out of the back room to give them space. Peeta leaned down, he cupped the side of her face and kissed her. Her hands gripped his forearms, she missed his kisses. She audibly sighed when his mouth lifted.

“What are you doing here, I thought you and Effie were going to go to busy with the wedding prep.”

“That’s not until two o'clock so we’ve got the morning,” Katniss wiggled her eyebrows, “I gave her the slip, and I’m rescuing you from this dungeon.”

“Oh, then lead on my knight in shining armor.” Peeta took off his apron and together they walked out.

Peeta opened her car door, “Where to?”

“How about a stroll through the meadow,” Katniss suggested.

They’d driven giving each other glances. No sooner had Peeta parked the car than when their lips met. Katniss sat astride his lap, her back pressed against the steering wheel of the car. Their hands frantically were seeking flesh. His hands slipped under the skirt of her dress and his fingers squeezed her thighs.

He tore his mouth away, “We’ve got to stop Katniss,” he moaned when her lips tugged on his ear.

“Cats…puppies…bunnies…fishes…” Peeta murmured against her forehead.

Katniss breathed heavily, “What are you doing?”

Peeta’s voice was ragged, “Trying to find something to calm me down.”

“You sounded like my sister,” Katniss grunted as she laid her head on his shoulder.

“What’s going on?”

“Prim wants Vic to sit with us, and she gave me a, you’re-leaving-me guilt trip.” Her fingers played with the open buttons of his shirt.

“Vic, the skinny boy that wears the thick glasses,” Peeta lifted her chin up with his finger.

“Bob’s your uncle,” Katniss shook her head yes.

Peeta smiled at her, “I love the way you say things like that. What does that even mean?”

“It means there you have it,” Katniss clarified. She cleared her throat, “Do you suppose I did the right thing by telling her she can have one.”

“Ah,” Peeta wiped her face. “Would you rather her to chase other boys? Like Ron Crank.”

Katniss thought of the massive fourteen-year-old-boy who already had a following of older girls. “NO, she’s too young, she’s only 14 Peeta!” Katniss stressed Prim’s age.

“You’re right and many of her friends are leaving behind childish things and noticing boys like Ron Crank. You’re lucky all Primrose wants Vic to keep her company. It could be worse, she could have a crush on Vic’s brother Rory. Last week he was caught with a girl behind the outdoor bleachers.”

Katniss hadn’t thought about it that way. “I’m glad I spoke to you about it.”

“It’s good practice for when we decide to have kids in the future, I want you to go to school, college and study, do what you desire.”

Hearing him solidified the reasons she accepted his sneaky proposal. Her hand slipped to his belt buckle. “So what are your plans for the next few hours?”

“I plan on going out with a raven haired gorgeous dame with beautiful gams.” His hand’s slid up and down her legs.

“You’re naughty,” Katniss shuttered as his fingers found a spot at the back of her knees.

“You don’t even know,” Peeta murmured up against her lips.

Katniss undid his belt buckle, her eyes were glued to his, watching the way his pupils darkened. “Do you have a lamb thingy with you?”

“Yes,” Peeta ground as he watched her hand slip inside of his pants.

“Well let’s get some practice in, for tomorrow night,” she licked her lips. Last week they’d finally made the move to be with each other intimately. Peeta was surprised when she mentioned she wanted to be with him. Peeta had lost control of the car as they drove back from one of the required dance classes her Aunt had them take for the wedding. Katniss supposed he couldn’t help it, at the time her hand was riding up his thigh.

Rye brother came to his rescue. He overheard Katniss and Peeta talking about it. Rye gave Peeta some prophylactics he’d secured in London. Peeta and Katniss had put them into good use.

When they parted Katniss was floating on air. It was past two o'clock. The house was besieged by a mini army. There were men and women crawling all over the house. They’d necked in the car and did other things engaged couples did. But mostly they spent time speaking going over what they expected out of their marriage.

“Katniss,” Cinna the wedding coordinator smiled at her and secretly winked as she walked into the house. He was a tall slender man dressed all in black and Katniss swore she saw he wore gold liner on his lids. But she said nothing about it. Cinna was a man of the world and he understood things others didn’t.

“Hello Cinna, reporting for duty, let the torture begin.”

Cinna laughed, “I should chew you out Sugar.”

Katniss glanced at him as they headed up the stairs, “Why would you do that?”

“Go take a bath you reek of,” he raised a sculpted eyebrow, “well,” he shook his head “it’s a good thing you’re getting married tomorrow. If you’re Aunt caught you, she’d have a coronary.”

Katniss walked into her room and stopped dead, “My dress…oh…” she walked over to the gown. Tentatively she touched the ivory gown, with white and silver pearl detailing around the eyelet design. It was a tea length A-line gown, with a gathered waist and sweetheart neckline and short cap sleeves. Cinna made had two shoes made for her to wear a satin silk low heels in the color of the dress and dark green shoes for after the reception.

“You’re going to be breathtaking, or as Primrose said spiffy.”

Katniss laughed. “Have you dressed the cat?”

“No I haven’t but him in chains like you’ve asked,” Cinna chuckled, he showed her a razor, “Go shave everywhere.”

Katniss laughed, she walked into the bathroom and took off her clothing there was a hot bath waiting for her. Cinna wanted her to shave not just her legs, but everywhere. Katniss stepped into the tub and taking a deep breath she looked down at herself and wondered what Peeta would say when he saw that she was hairless. Her cheeks turned pink. She hoped he liked it as she began following orders.

Portia was waiting for her with a table.

“What’s that?”

“Hot wax,” Portia said patting the table.

Katniss soon discovered she hated the wax a thousand times more than the razor blade. That night after hours of so-called beauty treatments she fell into her bed wanting for the wedding to take place. The next morning the Herculean effort of yesterday left Katniss gobsmacked. The back yard was transformed. Tables decorated in silver with red, yellow and orange flowers centerpieces. Tall trellis framed the entire space, and they were decorated with the same flowers. Sheer orange fabric hung from trees with mason jars filled with candles.

A pergola was set up by a pond that Uncle Haymitch had put in for his geese, Cinna turned the pond into a water feature.

“Well, what do you think?”

“I don’t think I’m in Virginia any more Cinna,” Katniss answered.

Cinna chuckled. “Your Aunt is beside herself, now Sugar, it’s time to get dressed.”

Katniss nodded, followed him upstairs where she was massaged, bathed perfumed and dolled up for. When she stepped out of her room, Katniss didn’t recognize herself.

“Oh, Katniss,” A chorus of female voices cried.

Prim ran up to her in her silver gown. “Applesauce! Peeta is going to get all soppy when he takes a load of you.”

“Katniss you look, wonderful.” Her mother said. Katniss smiled. Then she saw her Aunt Effie standing in the background, with tears in her eyes. Katniss moved forward and threw her arms around her Aunt.

“Thank you,” Katniss whispered, “I love you, Aunt Effie.”

“Oh my precious child, you look like Olivia De Havilland.”

“Cinna I’ve never seen a dress like this?” Her mother gently touched the dress.

Katniss looped her arm around both her Aunt and mother’s waist. Her gray eyes were luminous, brightly glowing with happiness. She wanted to remember the exact color of her sister’s silver gown, the way her blond hair fell in ringlets around her face. The smell of her Aunts rose scented perfume or the lilac scent of her mother. All of this began with the bread and a simple misunderstanding. Had not Peeta been so dogged, she would’ve missed out on all of this future.

“I have a friend named Christian Dior, I sent him a telegram with your daughter’s measurements. He sent me the dress for her. It is a personal favor, and a gift.”

Effie sniffled, “I’m going to ruin your dress, Katniss with my makeup.”

Katniss swirled, “Oh you mean this old thing.”

Everyone laughed at her uncharacteristic remark.

“Come on Sugar, let’s get you to the alter.” Cinna turned to all of the women, “ladies, ladies, and Buttercup if you please this way.”

Katniss was given a mantilla, a lace veil that belonged to Haymitch’s mother. She was a Spaniard named Rosa, Cinna draped it on her head. “This is your something borrowed,” he then gave her the bright bouquet filled with sunflowers and roses, calla lies, “This is your something new, and there is a blue string attached so that is your something blue.”

Her mother stepped up, “This is your something new. It belonged to a school mate of mine, Maysilee. She gave me this gold pin when I married your father. She called it a Mockingjay.”

Katniss said, “Prim you go get your beast, he’s got a show to put on.” Prim stuck her tongue out at Katniss but smiled as she picked up Buttercup. Even the cat was given the beauty treatment, it was groomed, bathed and all its little fleas were exterminated. It didn’t look bad, but when the cat passed by Katniss it hissed.

“Yeah, I hate you too,” Katniss muttered.

Cinna chuckled, as the women disappeared one by one, only Uncle Haymitch remained with her ready to walk her down the isle.

“Nervous?”

“No,” Katniss shook her head. “I should be, we’re only eighteen, but I know this is where I belong. Peeta feels like home to me.”

“I’m glad you never took a fancy towards Gale.”

Katniss shook her head, “Gale is full of fire, and so am I. I don’t need more fuel, I’ve got plenty of my own. I need Peeta’s gentle ways to help calm me down.” She took a deep breath, “I nearly almost let it slip away because of my stubbornness. If not for Prim telling me to speak to him this wouldn’t have happened.”

“Good, you were always a smart girl,” her Uncle placed a kiss on her forehead. “But I think it would have happened. You two are like to trains on the same track eventually you’re going to run into each other.”

“Okay, go,” Cinna said gently pushed her toward the aisle. It was a gorgeous day for but she couldn’t stare at anything else but Peeta’s glowing face. Her eyes touched on how broad his shoulders looked in his expertly cut suit. His smile was brighter than the sun, he looked handsome and she couldn’t wait to tear his suit off.

Haymitch gave her away. The minister began the speech and it caused some women to cry. The minister gently said, “Now for the rings.”

Prim carried Buttercup to the front. There were a few chuckles as Peeta bent down to take the rings, Katniss wouldn’t go near the cat and the cat wouldn’t go near Katniss.

“Wonk,” was heard.

Katniss looked around.

“WONK,” the flat noise got nearer.

“WONK, WHONK..” it began again.

Then Katniss saw them Uncle Haymitch’s geese waddling down the aisle.

“Mrrreoooow!” Buttercup cried before he leaped out of Prim’s and ran after the geese.

The geese screeched and flapped their wings and flew into the air. One of them landed on Glimmer’s head. “EEEKKKK!”

“Buttercup!” Prim cried, chasing the darned cat.

“Haymitch! Do something! They are running the wedding,” Aunt Effie cried.

Haymitch ran, trying to gather the geese. Buttercup leaped in the air swiping his paw toward one of her Uncle’s birds.

Katniss threw her head back and began to laugh. Katniss laughed hard, she wouldn’t have any other way. Seeing Katniss laugh made everyone at ease. The rings were eventually found and the ceremony was met with thunderous applause when Katniss threw her arms around Peeta and joyfully kissed her husband.

She and Peeta were dancing, her head was on his shoulders, her shoes were abandoned long ago.

“You took my breath today,” Peeta kissed her neck.

“Mmm…” Katniss happily replied.

“You’re okay with they way the wedding went with Buttercup?”

She wrinkled her face.

“So you were let down. Having Buttercup in the wedding was a mistake, I’m sorry.”

His face fell, “Peeta please do misunderstand me, I dislike Primrose’s cat. But I loved my wedding, and I’ve never had a greater time.”

Peeta blinked in disbelief, “Really even when the cat, ripped off old man Cray rug?”

“That was the best part, his rug is ancient and disgusting. He’s so with the young women in town.” Katniss recalled how his hair piece spun in the air and landed on her mother’s lap.

“You want to get out of here?”

Katniss eyes shined, “I thought you’d never asked.”

Together the walked toward the sunset, as the guests danced and feasted. Katniss was ready to start her new life with Peeta.