#keller crackers

[cherryvampiro]

 Valentines Comms I’ve done 💕💕💕

[alexkellersgymshorts]

The Mechanics of Hope (Chapter 3)

[Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [AO3]

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick x Alex Keller

Single Parent Omega Gaz x Mechanic Alpha Alex Keller

Gaz thinks about things more when he's out grocery shopping with his daughter. His best friend, Soap, ends up trying to encourage him to try things out with Alex, but he's still apprehensive.

Maybe a little more so when Alex lies to get closer to Gaz.

Warnings: ABO, fem leaning terms for omegas

Gaz chuckled as he watched Gen tug a box of cookies off the nearby shelf, watching her turn over the box and inspect the back. She could read, she’d learned early, but Gaz really doubted she could read the word “cholesterol”, “enriched”, or “riboflavin.”

He knew she was just mimicking what she’d seen Gaz do, though the only reason he really inspected the backs of boxes was so he could make sure there was no red dye 40. Roach had told him it would help Gen to concentrate better to just avoid it where he could.

Hard to, when her favorite candy was full of it. But, if he avoided it everywhere else, he hoped it would even out.

Speaking of, she was currently chewing some gum that she’d gotten from her halloween party the week before. He never had to fight her to portion her candy out, since she hated getting belly aches from eating too much. He imagined it probably overstimulated her. 

“Can I see those?” He asked and she held up the box. He inspected them, seeing that they were the ones with candy coated chocolate. Not M&Ms, since this store sold almost exclusively offbrand. “Not these, honey, the candy hurts your throat, remember?”

She made a face and immediately put her hand up to the box, shaking her head in a way that she did which meant “I do not want that.” He chuckled and put them back, knowing she’d probably seen the bright candy and was interested. 

Gaz knew she’d likely want some kind of snack, so he looked over the shelves and found a fairly cheap bag of animal crackers, instead. “Here. You love these.”

She confirmed this by squealing as he held out the bag and practically snatching them out of his hands, hugging the bag and settling back into the cart. He knew it wasn’t the safest to have her in there, but it was better to have her in the cart where random strangers didn’t decide they just had to touch her hair or her and then she was having a melt down.

God, what was with people?? Specifically elderly people. They always seemed to feel some entitlement to interacting with children and despite how many times Gaz would try to say “she’s autistic, she hates being touched”, it never meant anything to them. 

He brushed off the issue before he started to get genuinely irritated and just took a breath, going back to looking at bread crumbs, since he often used them to cook. They weren’t expensive, so he could.

“Uncle Soap!” Gaz perked up, hearing Genevieve exclaim, and he immediately turned to where he saw Soap was rushing down the aisle to Gen, Roach following behind. Gen squealed as Soap picked her up and hugged her, hugging back.

Gaz shook his head, amused, and watched Soap bounce her so she was on his hip, grinning. “Hello, Dandelion.” He said, booping her nose. “I haven’t seen you in so many days! Have you been good?”

“Perfect.” Gaz answered, shaking his head. “An angel.”

“Ah, of course she is. Good lass.” Soap pat her as she laid her head on his shoulder. “And what about Mama? He behaving?”

“Oh, can it.” Gaz laughed, crossing his arms. “I always behave.”

“Mhm.” Soap laughed and Roach shook his head.

‘He says that, as if he behaves.’ Roach signed and then waved to Genevieve. A moment later, he was handing her his keys, since he had a few fidgets on them that she liked to play with. 

Gaz watched her attention immediately become lost to the fidgets and he shook his head, leaning against the cart and sighing. “Why are you guys here? I assume to shop like I am, but…”

“Oh, Roach just got another tattoo and he was very brave about it-” Soap joked before being cut off by Roach hitting his arm. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Actually, we’re here because I was an idiot and forgot to buy some things for dinner. Though… they’re all out of what I need, so I think we were considering just going out.”

“Oh, I see.” Gaz nodded and smiled. “Well, it’s Monday, which is grocery day, and I think Genevieve and I are just going to have some frozen pizza tonight.”

“Oh?” Soap bounced Genevieve a bit to get her attention, chuckling. “Are you having fun, Dandelion?”

Genevieve giggled and nodded. Soap shook his head and then passed Genevieve to Roach, who oomphed as he took her, immediately moving to sit on the floor. He had chronic fatigue like Gaz so it was just better that he did that. 

Gaz frowned as Soap pulled him off to the side, now worried. “Hey, I didn’t want to ask in front of Gen, because I didn’t want her to get excited if you said no, but… since Roach and I are going out to dinner, do you want to join us? It’s not going to be anything fancy, just that diner we eat at.” Soap said.

Gaz relaxed, immediately, and then softened. God, his friends were amazing, because it was so hard when he knew they couldn’t go somewhere and the adult asked in front of Genevieve. “I don’t know if I can afford it…”

“Don’t worry about that.” Soap shook his head. “I’ll pay. Think of it as me finally paying you back for that work you did a while back.”

Gaz considered before shrugging. “Alright, I don’t see why not.” He relaxed, since it’d been a while since he and Genevieve had eaten out for dinner. He knew she’d be very excited and, hey, he didn’t have to cook. Even if it would be a frozen pizza, that was less effort and he could leave that for another day.

“Awesome.” Soap grinned and then he went back to Roach and Genevieve with Gaz, immediately crouching down to steal Genevieve back from Roach. God, when she was younger, she was hardly out of someone’s arms. Gaz had worried she’d unlearn how to walk. “Guess what, my bright little dandelion, you and your mom are going to eat dinner with us! Isn’t that awesome??”

“Ahhhhhh!” Gen mimicked the excited fake yell thing that Roach sometimes did as a joke, which they all called a roar, since she would open her mouth wide and hold her hand in front of it, yell and shake her head.

All three adults laughed and Gaz shook his head. “After I finish grocery shopping and take it home. Did you guys take the bus again?”

“Yeah.” Despite both Soap and Roach having their own cars, they were incredibly nature conscious, so they often just randomly took the bus to conserve the environment. 

“Well, then you guys can ride with us.” Gaz offered, not offended at the hesitation in both of their eyes. “I just had it fixed up again. By Price. Or… Farah, I think.”

Both visibly relaxed and then nodded. “So you met Farah?” Soap asked, following Gaz around as he started to walk again. “Did you meet Alex?”

Gaz went dark red. “I did…” He said, trying to remain nonchalant, but he could see Soap latch onto it, immediately. “Soap…” He warned.

Soap groaned. “Am I really that predictable? Come on, he’s cute, you should go for it! Roach, mo chridhe, tell him he should go for it!”

Roach looked up from where he’d been showing Gen how to use one of the fidgets, frowning. ‘ Go for what?’ When Genevieve tried to mimic his signs, he helped her form them.

Gaz rolled his eyes. “Soap is trying to convince me that I should go after Alex. His coworker. But,” Gaz grabbed a jar of pasta sauce off a shelf, shaking his head, “alphas don’t go for single moms. Specifically single teen moms. Not that I blame him…”

“Gaz…” Soap whined. “It doesn’t have to be long term. Sleep with him.”

“He’s close with Laswell and it sounds like he’s going to be around for a while.” Gaz shook his head, turning back to Soap and Roach. “A hookup will just make things awkward. Nor do I really want one… I’ve never been one to be able to just have casual sex.”

“Then pursue him romantically! Alex is sweet, and he has those good ol’ southern values. He won’t care about Genevieve. Does he know about her?” Soap tilted his head.

Gaz shook his head. “No. And he won’t find out, either. I… I really don’t want two strange alphas knowing about my daughter. I don’t even know if I can trust him.”

Soap groaned, but he didn’t fight Gaz on it. Gaz hadn’t even let either of the alphas pursuing Rodolfo meet Gen, yet, though they didn’t seem particularly interested. Rodolfo was not interested in kids, apparently, and neither were the two alphas. Though, Rodolfo had been nothing but sweet to Genevieve, treating her like a niece. 

“I think it’d be good for you.” Soap finally said. “You’re lonely- no, you are, don’t argue with me.” Soap responded to the glare Gaz shot at him. “You are lonely. You haven’t…” Soap trailed off and glanced at Gen, and Gaz watched, amusedly, as Soap appeared to try to think of an alternative to saying sex. “You haven’t… haven’t… Kissed someone in a while.”

“Well, unlike some of us, I don’t need kisses .” Gaz shot back, rolling his eyes. 

“ Kissing is fun, though! Very fun.” Soap grinned. “You may not need it but I bet you’d feel a lot better if you had it frequently.”

Gaz couldn’t really deny that it might be nice to have it back in his life but… no. He didn’t want a hookup, he didn’t want a friends with benefits thing, and he wasn’t going to delude himself into thinking he had any sort of romantic chance with anyone. “Soap, I’m not going for it. Drop it.”

Soap pouted but sighed. “Alright, Gaz…” He went back to bouncing Gen and Gaz shook his head, going back over the list to make sure he had everything before making a frustrated sound as he realized he had forgotten Genevieve’s drink supplements.

She didn’t drink water, so he had to get her these drink mixes that were super hydrating, while he worked on getting her to drink regular water. “Here, can you stay here for a moment while I run and grab something?” Gaz asked.

“‘Course.” Soap nodded, going back to bouncing Genevieve. “Real quick, I just realized, why isn’t she in school?”

“Oh. Professional Development day or whatever.” Gaz answered, shrugging. He knew Soap was only curious, not judging. He could say “didn’t feel like taking her” and Soap would immediately fire back with “hell yeah, fuck the establishment.” And then spend ten minutes teaching Genevieve how to make some new hand symbol that meant “anarchy”.

“Ah.” Soap nodded and then shrugged. “I bet she was excited.”

“She very much was. I didn’t tell her so it was a surprise.” Gaz pet Gen’s hair before sighing. “Alright, I’ll be right back. If she gets antsy, that tablet is in her bag.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Soap nodded, checking her bag. “Go, go get your thing.”

Gaz relaxed and then finally turned and headed off, quickly going to the aisle that he knew would have her drink supplements and going to where they were. Shit what flavor were the ones she preferred?? Was he a bad mom for not remembering??

“The uh… cherry ones are best.” 

Gaz startled and looked up, flushing as he saw Alex was standing beside him, looking sheepish. “Oh. Alex. Hey.”

“Sorry, I get these pretty frequently.” Alex smiled and then reached over, taking the cherry drink supplements off the shelf. 

Gaz hesitated before grabbing a box of cherry as well. “Well uh… thanks.” He answered, unable to help but feel kind of awkward. “I… Um… How are you?” He asked, mostly to be polite.

“I’ve been pretty great.” Alex smiled, looking almost surprised. “It’s picked back up at the shop, so I’ve not been too bored. What about you?”

“Eh.” Gaz answered. “The usual, I guess.” No complaints, Gen was in perfect health, he was about to get dinner with his friends… “How’s Price? I haven’t talked to him in a few days.”

“Oh, he’s fine. Complaining about his back, but… when is he not complaining about his back?” Alex laughed and Gaz did as well, since that was fair. “Oh, I forgot to say, but Laswell asked me to invite you to dinner.”

Gaz’s blood ran cold. He had forgotten about the whole Alex being close to Laswell thing and he’d forgotten that Laswell telling Alex about Genevieve had even been a risk! Fuck, he’d have to ask her not to, if she hadn’t already. “I don’t know… my schedule is fairly busy.”

“She said you might say that.” Alex nodded and then shrugged. “She just told me to ask.”

“Sorry.” Gaz winced and then shook his head. “I’ll see.”

Alex nodded and then an awkward silence fell between them. Gaz backed up and then gestured. “I um…” He started, about to say he should go back.

“Wait-” Alex said and then immediately seemed to wince. “I… I…” He looked very hesitant, his eyes glancing around, before he sighed. “Farah was hoping you could bring your car by this Friday? She mentioned that your accelerator needed to be rotated?”

“Rotated?” Gaz blinked. He didn’t know much about cars, but something about that sounded odd. “Can… can you do that? Well, I guess, now that I think about it, I don’t really know much about accelerators.”

“Oh yeah, it’s real important.” Alex nodded. “Really important. Huh, did Price never tell you you needed to have that done before? I mean, it would make sense, the old man is forgetful.”

Gaz furrowed his brows before shrugging. If Alex was saying it was important, he’d believe him. “Okay, I’ll bring it in.”

“Awesome.” Alex grinned and then hesitated. “I was wondering… what do you do for work? Price mentioned you have a job but he never said what it was.”

“Oh. Well, I have a few. I’m a waitress at this restaurant, it’s a bit high end, though I also occasionally bartend.” Gaz flushed and then shrugged. He opened his mouth to ask Alex, but then went dark red as he realized that he already knew. “I…” He chuckled and then shook his head. “I was about to ask what you do for work, as well… God, I’m awful at small talk.”

Alex laughed, softly, “I would have answered without hesitation. Probably would have never even thought about it. I guess we’re both bad.”

“I guess…” Gaz softened and then backed up again. “Sorry, I… I really do need to head off.”

“No, right.” Alex nodded and appeared to blush for a moment before gesturing. “Farah’s waiting for me in the pharmacy, anyway. She’s having us try these new scent suppressants, so… It was good seeing you. I’ll see you on Friday?”

“Of course.” Gaz smiled and then gave a small wave before heading off to find the others again. 

When he found them, he flushed as he dropped the box into the cart. “Sorry it took so long, I uh…” He hesitated, unsure he should tell them, since Soap might get excited. “I… Ran into Alex, actually.”

“Oh??” Soap immediately perked up, looking excited. “Did you go for it?”

“No!” Gaz glared at him and then sighed, shaking his head. “No. It was kind of awkward, actually. We just… had small talk and then he told me Farah needed me to bring the car in on Friday, mentioned um… rotating the accelerator?? Which, I wasn’t aware needed to be done. Why didn’t you tell me about that??” He whacked Soap’s shoulder.

“Hey!” Soap winced and shifted Gen so he could rub at it. “Because that’s not a thing! Rotating your accelerator would just break the damn thing. Did he really say that?”

Gaz frowned. “I… I’m fairly certain. No, I’m almost positive that’s what he said. Why would he lie?”

“So he can see you!” Soap grinned, looking even more excited. Roach chuckled and rolled his eyes, giving Gaz a sympathetic look. “That’s so sweet! He lied so he could see you.”

“Exactly, Soap, he lied.” Gaz sighed and took Gen back, gesturing for Soap to push the cart. Poor Gen looked to be getting very sleepy, her head immediately falling on Gaz’s shoulder. “Maybe a nap before we get dinner?”

“We’ll order something, okay?” Soap smiled and booped Gen’s nose, chuckling again as she gave a soft little whine and waved him off. “She can eat when she wakes up.”

“Perfect.” Gaz relaxed and bounced her before they finally went to check out. As they checked out, Gaz thought back to Alex. Maybe Soap thought it was sweet that Alex had lied to see Gaz, but Alex had lied to see Gaz. He’d just said something he knew Gaz couldn’t question in order for Gaz to see him. 

Okay, maybe he was being a bit over suspicious, but it still had him suspicious. What else would Alex lie about? Was Gaz making excuses to keep himself from liking Alex? Maybe.

Gaz internally groaned, frustrated with himself.

~~~~~

I'm not the best at maintaining taglists but I will start them if anyone is interested!

[zalrb]

Wait, why don't you like buildup Naley??

Well for season 1:

Honestly, Naley eventually becomes really cute but Haley starting to look at Nathan differently because he said two lines about having emotions and gave her a bracelet from a Cracker Jack box has me like … girl. Which again, this is why I generally don’t like these kinds of storylines because the asshole character does the bare minimum and the character who’s meant to know better is immediately like THEY’RE NOT WHAT YOU THINK. And it’s made worse by the fact that Haley doesn’t know the other shit that Nathan has done, she wasn’t there for the prom video or for when he said that Dan wished Lucas was a stain, she doesn’t know that after dropping her off in Peyton’s car, he got into a hit and run, said he didn’t care if Peyton got in trouble, tried to pin it on Lucas, went back home and asked Peyton if she wanted to have sex. Nathan is horrible and a cracker jack bracelet is enough to semi-erase that? Lol K.

For season 3, it's more just a personal reaction to what Haley did in season 2 and about what I could or couldn't forgive because Lucas and sometimes Brooke act like Nathan is being so cruel toward Haley and just stubborn and prideful and Haley comes back to town pretty indignant but Haley was horrible in season 2. It's like it's forgotten that he drove to see her and was like I will come with you on tour or I will wait for you, I will do anything you want and she said that it was too much to be with him or the fact that he got into a near-lethal car accident and she didn't come to visit him in the hospital because he told her not to, I mean that's your husband, you don't have to stay but you should at least see him or call him, which is the other thing, did she even try to call Nathan after Chris Keller said they were together on TV, did Haley even try to contact Nathan throughout that entire time or did she leave one voicemail and call him once to tell him she was on TV and then just lived life? Haley didn't try at all to keep her marriage going while she was on tour but says that her music and Nathan are linked and that he's as much a part of her life as music is and pikachu memes when she comes back to town and he's distant and personally, I just don't think enough happens building their relationship back up to solidify that trust so I watch it like, I would absolutely divorce her. But when they DO get back together, they're adorable.

[barbara-stanwyck]

This creamy and flavorful pumpkin seed dip is a delicious twist on traditional dips. The toasted pumpkin seeds add a nutty richness, while the fresh lime juice and cilantro brighten up the flavors. It's perfect for parties, gatherings, or as a tasty snack.

Ingredients: 1 cup pumpkin seeds, toasted. 1/4 cup olive oil. 2 tablespoons fresh lime juice. 2 cloves garlic, minced. 1/4 cup fresh cilantro leaves. Salt and pepper to taste.

Instructions: Toast the pumpkin seeds and put them in a food processor. Add the olive oil, lime juice, garlic, and cilantro leaves. Mix until smooth. Add salt and pepper to taste and make changes as needed. Place the dip in a bowl for serving. Put it out with the chips, crackers, or vegetables you like.

Elliot Keller

[taunuswolf]

Bis weit in die 70ziger Jahre hinein gab es in Wiesbaden nur zwei Theater: Das Staatstheater und das „Intime Theater“, eine kleine Bühne in der Saalgasse, untergebracht in einem spätklassizistischen Gebäude, das wohl in den 80zigern der Abrissbirne zum Opfer fiel. Es wurde 1966 gegründet, so der einzige winzige Hinweis im Netz. Hier wurden von Profischauspielern hauptsächlich Komödien gespielt, ähnlich wie beim Ohnesorg-Theater in Hamburg. Jedoch ohne den medialen Erfolg. Wer damals anspruchsvollere Kleinkunst suchte, der fuhr nach Mainz, wo es schon seit 1971 das UNTERHAUS in seiner jetzigen Form gab oder nach Frankfurt. Dies wollte der Bühnenbildner James Chladek ändern. Pioniere zögern nicht lange. Sie fangen einfach an. Wie ein einsamer Rufer fragte James zur Jahreswende 1973/74 im Jazzhaus in die Runde: „Wer von euch hat Lust ein Theater zu gründen?“

VORBILD: DAS UNTERHAUS FORUM IN MAINZ

Wie immer, wenn in Wiesbaden jemand eine tolle Idee hat, kommen gleich viele Leute angerannt und wollen mitmachen. Zunächst entstand so etwas wie ein lockerer Kultur-Gesprächs-Kreis, der erst mal „ausdiskutieren“ wollte, was man überhaupt will. Die einen wollten lieber Musik machen, freie Session-Musik, die anderen Improvisationstheater wieder andere suchten eine „Selbsterfahrungsgruppe“. Mann und Frau traf sich – am Anfang fast ein duzend Leute - in der großen Altbau-Wohnung eines Mainzer Grafik-Professors in der Oranienstraße und parlierte ergebnislos bis tief in die Nacht. James ging das alles nicht schnell genug. Er hatte schon sein Konzept im Kopf: Ein Kleinkunst-Kellertheater nach dem Vorbild des Mainzer Unterhauses. Deren Betreiber kannte er persönlich. Zeitgleich schaute er sich bereits nach geeigneten Räumlichkeiten um und stieß dabei auf einen großen, tiefen Keller in der Blücherstraße. Eine Lokalität, die jedoch bald verworfen wurde. Der Ausbau, sprich Renovierung hätte viel zu lange gedauert. Außerdem fehlten Sanitäre Anlagen.      

FREILICHTBÜHNE IM HINTERHOF VOM DOMIZIL

Einen geeigneten Ort für die Kleinkunstbühne fand James schon bald in dem erst kürzlich eröffneten Musik-Szenelokal „Domizil“ in der Moritzstraße, nach dem Jazzhaus und dem legendären Bumerang Mitte der 70ziger die wichtigste Lokalität des intellektuellen Nachtlebens. An der Stirnwand über dem Eingang prangten stilisierte Eulen. Ein Zeichen, dass hier kluge Köpfe ein und ausgingen.  Hier gaben sich vor allem Folkmusiker, Liedermacher und Bluesmusiker die Klinke in die Hand. Der im Herbst 2023 verstorbene Frontman der Crackers Loti Pohl, nahm hier 1974 sein Debüt-Album auf. Auch der früh verstorbene Fernsehsprecher Martin Schäfer, der mit Loti in einer A-Cappella-Band sang, war ein häufiger Gast in der Moritzstraße. Musik-Kleinkunst und Theater-Kleinkunst im Szenekneipen-Umfeld. Ein Konzept, dass aufgehen könnte, dachte sich James. Als dieser kühne, aber durchaus zu realisierende Plan feststand, war von den Theaterunterstützern der ersten Stunde nur noch einer übrig geblieben, die anderen hatten sich längst anderen Projekten zugewendet. Dieser eine war jedoch bereit bei konkreten Bühnenstücken eine tragende Rolle zu übernehmen. Zum Beispiel den „Lehrer“ im JA UND NEINSAGER von Bertold Brecht.

Inzwischen hatten sich auch drei weitere Akteure gefunden – darunter eine ehemalige Profischauspielerin – die sich auf die Bretter wagten, von denen man sagt, dass sie für manche die Welt bedeuten. Doch diese „Bretter“ mussten buchstäblich erst mal gezimmert werden. In diesem Punkt konnte James auf seine Bühnenbildner-Erfahrung vertrauen. Es klingt unglaublich. Im Handumdrehen baute James teilweise aus dem Holzgerümpel, das überall herumstand, mit tatkräftiger Unterstützung seiner Akteure im Hinterhof des Domizils eine richtige Freilichtbühne und errichtete anschließend in einem Nebenraum des Lokals noch ein Zimmertheater, verlegte Teppichboden usw. Parallel büffelten die Allround-Akteure fleißig ihren Bertold-Brecht-Text. Das Wiesbadener „Forum-Theater“ war geboren. Eine Sturzgeburt…         

MIT PINK FLOYD IN THE DARK SIDE OF DOMIZIL

An einem lauen Mai oder Juni-Abend war es dann bereits so weit. Unter den sphärisch-psychodelischen Klängen von Pink Floyds „Dark Side oft he Moon“ erhob sich im Scheinwerferkegel der Lehrer, bekleidet mit einem völlig aus der Zeit gefallenen DDR-Straßenanzug und sprach langsam jede Silbe betonend in den dunklen gut besuchten Zuschauer-Hinterhof: „Ich bin der Lehrer. Ich habe eine Schule in der Stadt und eine Schülerin deren Vater tot ist.“ Auch die anderen Schauspieler gaben diesem eher eintönigen Brechtlehrstück, besser gesagt „Brechtbelehrungsstück“ eine düstere, dichte Atmosphäre, die mit der Enge des Hinterhofes gut korrespondierte. Die Botschaft - nicht alles, was man von oben verordnet bekommt, in Untertanenmanier auszuführen - bekommt heute, 50 Jahre später, angesichts von Denunziations-Plattformen, selbsternannten Anzeigenmeistern und Blockwarten einen bitteren Beigeschmack. Dokumentarisch festgehalten wurden die Aufführungen von Klaus Koschwitz, deren meisterhafte Schwarzweiß-Fotografien schon vor 50 Jahren wie edle Daguerreotypien aussahen. Unter den Zuschauern befand sich übrigens ein angehender österreichischer Schauspieler, der später durch etliche Fernsehrollen sehr bekannt wurde.                    

BELEHRUNGS-FILM UND RAUSWURF

Der Anfangserfolg war groß. Die Aufführungen waren ausverkauft. Auch das Zimmertheater wurde angenommen. Schließlich ging man sogar auf Tournee. Eine Aufführung fand in der Aula einer Schule in Idar-Oberstein statt. Das Ende kam schnell, aber nicht unerwartet. James hatte einen jungen Mann in sein Team aufgenommen und ihm die Rolle des „Regieassistenten“ zuerkannt, obwohl er überhaupt keine Ahnung vom Theater hatte. Der mischte sich immer mehr ein, was die Atmosphäre zunehmend vergiftete. Das endgültige Ende kam, als James ohne Absprache die Einnahmen der Aufführungen für die Veranstaltung eines Filmabends verwendete. Auf dem Programm stand „Die Brücke“, ein Streifen, den jeder Schüler der damaligen Zeit als Pflichtbesuch aufs Auge gedrückt bekam und daher schon kannte. Für die meisten war das Thema nach unzähligen Diskussionen mit den Vätern der 3. Reich-Generation ziemlich durch. Niemand brauchte eine Belehrung. Die Zuschauerbänke blieben leer.  Da riss auch beim letzten der Geduldsfaden. Hinzu kam, ein Vorfall, der dazu führte, dass der Wirt des Domizils nicht mehr bereit war die Räumlichkeiten dem Forum-Theater zur Verfügung zu stellen.  

Hier trennten sich die Wege. James hat noch länger als ein Jahrzehnt unter dem gleichen Namen „Forum-Theater“ in einer städtischen Einrichtung am Platz der deutschen Einheit eine Art Jugendtheater betrieben. Die schönen Koschwitz-Bilder, die wie durch ein Wunder nicht vergilbten oder verblasten hingen noch Jahrzehnte in den großen Schaufenstern des bereits ungenutzten Gebäudekomplexes am Platz der Deutschen Einheit. Da war James längst verstorben.     

EPILOG

Hier ist meine Zeitreise mal wieder zu Ende. 50 Jahre später frage ich mich: Warum habe ich James damals bis zuletzt unterstützt? Eine Antwort könnte sein, dass ich James, den konsequenten vom Leben gebeutelten Bohemien und Pionier unbewusst mit meinem nicht wesentlich älteren sehr kleinbürgerlichen erfolgreichen Vater verglich. Ein Kontrast, der schärfer nicht sein konnte: James gehörte zu den ersten, die sich offen zu ihrer Bisexualität bekannten und hatte sich deswegen noch Anfang der 70ziger eine Menge Ärger eingehandelt. Mein Vater war durchweg homophob. James hatte als Leutnant einer berittenen Maschinengewehrschützen- Einheit an der Ostfront im Dauerfeuer den zweiten Weltkrieg in seiner ganzen Brutalität kennengelernt und nach 1945 dem ganzen unseligen Spuk der NS-Ideologie aus seinem Leben verbannt und gegen Werte wie Freiheit und Selbstbestimmungsrecht eingetauscht. Für meinen Vater waren sogar Bärte und lange Haare ein Greul. Wie er sogar in einem Büchlein der Öffentlichkeit mitteilte. Über seine Kinder-Erziehungsmethoden schweige ich mich Höflichkeitshalber aus.  

Warum ich in James vorübergehend einen väterlichen Freund fand, ist damit hinreichend beantwortet. Es gibt Menschen, den werden alle Türen geöffnet. James blieben viele Türen verschlossen. Pioniere haben selten das Glück, das ihr Idealismus belohnt wird. In den 80zigern und 90zigern schossen Kleinkunsttheater und Bühnen wie Pilze aus dem Boden. Da war James Chladek bereits vergessen.           

[thejacksmit]

Short Takes at LYIFF: The North has a new film festival, and it's awesome

This weekend indie cinema got its rightful moment in the spotlight, as the Lytham International Film Festival took over the iconic Lowther Pavilion. With features, shorts, and curated strands from festival partners - including our old mates at Beyond the Bar programming the 'After Dark' strand - this is a festival rooted in its Northern roots, with a view to going global. So what better way to showcase the best bits than with a return to the Short world of things?

Across the weekend members of the TheJackSmit.com family seen a lot of shorts, and as ever, we're gonna showcase the best ones here on the blog - because you never know how a career might take off from out of nowhere. It was difficult to narrow it down to just a few, but these were the ones which stood out.

JACK'S TOP 3 SHORTS FROM LYIFF

DARWIN'S FOX

SYNOPSIS: Driven by the urge to prove the existence of an extinct creature, a father and his son head off into the wilderness. But soon the search becomes much more personal, when the son suddenly vanishes without a trace.

The Germans like doing the basics right - and this short from Ben Scharf does just that. In half an hour it has the makings of a feature, with some well thought out cinematography and writing. Importantly this short features young talent Cooper Dillon- who will be next seen in Hunger Games prequel The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes.

MIDNIGHT RIDE

SYNOPSIS: A drug-dealing, Italian delivery rider resorts to robbing a South London burrito joint after his bike and drugs are stolen, little knowing he might be the one taken for a ride all along.

This was a neat short from Alessandro Farratini Pojani (who has shadowed names like Pete Czernin and Graham Broadbent behind the scenes), that has a distinctly British vibe but subverts the idea of a drug dealer trying to get his life back on track... by adding everyone's favourite food delivery service into the mix as he has the unluckiest night of his life. It gets the look and feel pretty much spot on.

A LITTLE GLASS OF RUM

SYNOPSIS: After grieving over the murder of his wife and son, prison guard Stan Ailor dines with the killer, Kenneth for his last meal. The two converse about the murders which leads Stan to getting the revenge he's been longing for.

LYIFF has its roots in the education sector - so to see Point Park University graduates make a short like this, on a similar kind of budget to UK students is nothing short of extraordinary. Going back in time to the 70s, what Carah Chafin did with writer/director of photography Lauren Keller's script, added in with the authenticity of the locations and those performances.... this is a cracker.

MENDO'S CAROUSEL

SYNOPSIS: After the death of her father, a troubled woman robs a dry-cleaning shop to make ends meet, but when the owner finds out, a secret from their past forces her to choose between doing what is right or following in the footsteps of her father.

Reading the EPK for this short, this is quite a personal film about honesty for its writer/director David Michael Maurer - and in 12 minutes it tells an incredibly powerful story. It was a worthy way to close the first session of shorts on day 1, and it is definitely making waves on the festival circuit.

As well as the main festival selection, partners Director's Notes brought some of their featured shorts to LYIFF, and as much as we want to talk about things like crazy American dark comedy The Flute, BAFTA nominated short Stuffed and student effort Heart Failure... they are a bit too 18 certificate to be showcased here on the blog. But ultimately the filmmakers enjoyed a Northern welcome, the audiences lapped up each and every film, and the Q&As hosted throughout the weekend (hosted by LYIFF's festival director Ed Greenberg) got a lot of discussion going.

Filmmakers, listen up - you can be part of it next year

The 2024 Lytham International Film Festival is on August 23rd-25th - and applications for next year have just opened on FilmFreeway.

[filamentzine]

Filos Filou

Α piece of music that needs to be played loud

The Clash - Should I Stay or Should I Go

A piece of music that moves you forward

Aphex Twin - Window Licker

A piece of music that gets stuck in your head

Syd Barrett - If It's In You

A piece of music that makes you want to dance

ESG - Dance

A piece of music that makes you feel badass

Prodigy - Smack My Bits Up

A piece of music that you remember from your childhood

Klaus Nomi - Total Eclipse

A piece of music that reminds you your hometown

Violent Femmes - Kiss Off

The piece of music you’ve listened to the most

Johann Sebastian Bach - Air on G String

I’ve been making music since the early nineties, and have gone through many phases since then. I‘ve had piano and melodic percussion lessons (vibraphone/marimba), but I am a self-taught musician for the most part. I’ve lived in Greece (until the age of 27), then London (where I studied Music Technology and worked at the Tate Modern), Berlin (where I held several Dj residencies and partied like there was no tomorrow), and Spain (where I am based now). I’ve had a few music projects throughout the years, like “Keller Crackers” and “Data Morgana”, and have also been a radio producer (Hi Point Low Life / Cashmere Radio 2016-2020 / Berlin). Still, the reason why I am writing these lines is because of my latest release as “Filos Filou”. A project that taps into many different musical styles (dub, electro, wave, indie, funk) and uses Greek texts in order to communicate simple but effective sound motifs which are juxtaposed with lyrics or 90’s TV cut-ups. “Basso Vestiario” is my first full-length album and was released on Veego Records in November 2022.

Spotify

Bandcamp

Facebook

[if-you-fan-a-fire]

“Safe-Cracker Gets Two Years in Prison,” Toronto Star. September 26, 1932. Page 2. ---- May Test Unique Device on Cell Bars, Bench Suggests ---- ‘Do you think you will be able to get out of the penitentiary with the device that you use to get into safes?’ Magistrate Jones asked James Mawson [PICTURED] in police court to-day. Mawson was charged with breaking in and with having burglars’ tools.

William Stevenson, caretaker of the Roxy Theatre, discovered someone working at the safe at 11 p.m. He summoned P.C. Paveling (726), who arrested Mawson. A detective displayed the device which Mawson allegedly used. It consisted of a ½-inch square steel plate with a heavy bolt in each corner. A triangular hole was cut in the middle of the late. The detective explained that the plate was placed over the knob of the combination of the safe in such a way that it firmly gripped the knob in a corner of the triangle. The four bolts were then turned and, pushing against the door of the safe, pulled out the knob.

‘It cost him $3.75 to have it made,’ added the detective.

Mawson was sentenced to two years in penitentiary. Mr. Stevenson and P.C. Paveling were both commended for their part in his capture.

Norman Millard, Sam Mitchell and Frank Klepek were found guilty of being drunk by Magistrate Arthur Tinker in police court to-day. They were each fined $10 with the option of 10 days in jail. Eight more men, similarly accused, were remanded for sentence and handed over to Captain Bunton of the Salvation Army. One was a red-headed youth from Ottawa and the captain offered to help him get back to his home.

‘You’re doing the right thing to lose your job,’ the magistrate told another prisoner.

‘How did you get that bruise on your face?’ he asked a third, an elderly man.

‘I fell on the sidewalk, your honor.’ ‘You’ve been punished enough. I’ll turn you over to the captain,’ said the magistrate.

Four more ‘week-end imbibers’ were released on remanded sentence.

Two tent-dwellers, Mike Swartz and Rudolph Shatz, were handed over to Captain Bunton. They had been trying to enter a theatre by the rear door.

‘You wanted to get in for nothing?’ asked the magistrate. ‘Yes,’ they admitted.

Saved by a Policeman Nelson Keating was arrested for being drunk and locked up in the Cowan Ave. police station. It is charged that he became despondent and attempted to hang himself in his cell.

‘Only the prompt action of the officer in resuscitating your husband saved his life,’ Magistrate Jones told Mrs. Keating.

Reg. Stansbury, charged with vagrancy, tried to take his life by leaping over the Bloor St. Viaduct. He was remanded for sentence and delivered over to his wife.

‘You’d better leave liquor alone,’ advised the bench. ‘If that’s what it makes you do.’

Phillip Redennel was sentenced to 30 days in jail for trespassing when he boarded a freight car.

Manuel Sturgeon was remanded until Sept. 28 on a charge of ridding on a C.P.R. coach without paying his fare.

Pleads for a Chance ‘Ben Blundell has a record,’ stated Crown Attorney W. O. Gibson, when Blundell was charged with theft. Eight convictions, all for theft, began in 1915 and continued at intervals.

‘I’ll go straight, if you give me another chance,’ pleaded Ben. ‘Six months to a year,’ was the response of the magistrate. ‘When you finish your term you will get your chance.’

Rolly and Alice Yzrda were adjudged guilty of having liquor contrary to the Liquor Control Act. The man was fined $300 and costs or three months.

Wilfred W. Keller was fined $10 and costs, or 10 days and seven days for reckless driving. ‘He was not drunk and he wasn’t sober,’ explained a witness.

‘Just half and half?’ inquired Magistrate Jones. ‘Yes, precisely.’

Said It First Time Archie Dance is a sad man. He was found guilty of a breach of the Liquor Control Act and fined $20 and costs or 30 days.

‘Did your worship say $10 and costs?’ asked counsel. ‘No, I said $20 and costs,’ replied the magistrate.

‘Leave the liquor and your permits and you may go,’ the magistrate told Jack Pagan, charged with ‘having.’

Gordon Bailey and Joseph Smith were dismissed on a charge of doing malicious damage to property. It was alleged that they were implicated in the breaking of an orange drink container. The lads pleaded guilty to having been drinking. They were severely reprimanded.

Mike Malinachuck was fined $300 and costs or 3 months on a breach of the L.C.A. The charge against his wife was withdrawn and their house was declared a public place.

Edward Venney was sentenced to 3 to 6 months for vagrancy and theft.

Gordon McLaughlin, with three other names, was put on probation for a year. He was found guilty of false pretences.

Harry and Ida Wartzman, the third couple of the day to appear on a breach of the Liquor Control Act, were remanded until Sept. 29.

[AL: Mawson was 25, single, born in Winnipeg and also known as Joe. Derby - he had served a previous term at Burwash Industrial Farm. He was convict #2805 and worked in the machine shop. He was released in July 1934 but would be back by 1936 and served another term in 1940 as well.]

[zattirizat]

zattirizat guest no.30 by DJ Rat Ward

1996′da kurulan Power Electronics, Industrial, Hard Noise labelı Anti-Everyting’i kuran Gary Stevens ya da bilinen ismi DJ Rat-Ward zattirizat’ın misafir mixtape sersininin otuzuncuna konuk oluyor. Aynı isimde Youtube kanalı ve blogspot’u da bulunan Rat-Ward’ın Crave, Frak, Shelter ve daha bir çok isim bulunduran mixtape’ini aşağıdan dinleyebilirsiniz. **** 30th guest mix of zattirizat comes by Anti-Everything label founder DJ Rat-Ward from Richmond, United States.  mixcloud.com/ratward youtube.com/ratward soundcloud.com/rat-ward ratward.blogspot.com soundcloud // mixcloud

Tracklist De-Bons-en-Pierre "Seul Comme Sombre" (2017) Andy Rantzen "Your Halo" (2012) Anika "Yang Yang" (2010) Èlg "Ce Sérum Monstre" (2018) Lo Kindre "Aibell" (2019) Crave "Let's Do Voodoo" (2018) Keller Crackers "Αιθουσες Αναμονης (Rooms of Anonis)" (2019) TRjj "Phob" (2019) CVX "Protesta Humana" (2018) Profligate "It Was Me" (2015) Frak "Dried Grapes" (2012) Ssaliva "Ivory Tower" (2012) Shelter "Dans la Jungle de Varech" (2018) RX-101 "The End of RX-101" (2016)

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I was eating crackers and then Helen Keller stole them from me saying I was running out of water and I didn’t deserve them because the water wanted them?

[hecticlab]

Keller Crackers

[fundiebabynamebible]

Letters to Judge Brooks: Anna and Michelle Duggar

We're 10 days out from sentencing of Josh Duggar. He faces up to 20 years but family and friends (how he still has any is beyond me but Jim Bob as money so that is that). I'm going through all the letters, as well as the memorandums, and giving any thoughts I have. I doubt I'll post about all the letters but we'll see how it goes.

I think it says a lot that none of Josh's siblings have written a letter in support of him.

Anna

No surprises here. Oh Anna.

It saddens me that Anna has never been shown any true love by a man or what a true man should be like. She has been so damaged by being in this cult, as have many girls born into it.

Can I change the Reagan quote slightly for a second? 'There is no limit to the amount of damage you can do if you don't care about the victims.' Never once has Josh thought about his victims. All his actions have been self-centred and without thought for anyone around him. He metaphorically punched the girls he molested in the face by hiding behind his persona of supposedly turning his life around whilst he was watching some of the worst child abuse imaginable behind closed doors. God only knows the stuff he's watched before that the police don't know about.

Maybe reiterating the amount of children that are waiting at home for a paedophile is not the best move. Also, imagine having to think of an example of the time he was a good husband and him sweeping up crackers being the best you can think off. I bet he went for a nap after that incredibly exhausting task too.

I highly doubt she understands the seriousness of what Josh has done; in many ways she herself is a victim of this serial predator. I do believe Anna is a victim but I also think she is an enabler. Many times she has been warned what Josh is like, including by those who escaped the cult themselves, but she hasn't listened. She is surrounded by men who share many characteristics with Josh; her father Mike Keller, her brother-in-law David Waller and father-in-law Jim Bob. These men have contributed to continually brainwash vulnerable girls and women like Anna. Josh's youngest sisters Johannah, Jennifer, Jordyn and Josie continue to go through this brainwashing process, and his daughters and nieces are just at the beginning of it.

As I read through all the letters I see they focus on what a good father Josh supposedly is; so repetitive but nothing anyone can say can save him now. The difference between Anna and Michelle is Michelle had a life before the cult, she has memories from before she married the piece of shit that lies next to her in bed every night, but Anna was born into the cult and knows no different.

Michelle

It blows my mind how Michelle can sign such an important document in such a childish manner. How can she think it's appropriate? I always thought the heart above the 'I' was saved for autographs but clearly now.

She actually started the letter with 'hello'🤦‍♀️.

Josh is no man. No real man would continually abuse children the way he has!

If Josh was so 'wise financially' he wouldn't have made his family live in his parents' warehouse.

Michelle goes on and on about what a supportive husband Josh is to Anna, I wonder what Judge Brooks would think if he knew Josh insisted on having a nap whilst Anna was in labour!!!

'We implore your wisdom for a just decision in this matter'= release my son, he's been through enough. We promise to send him to Jesus camp so he can mend his ways and set his lost soul on a better past. NO NO NO!!!!!

Michelle knows none of her children as individuals. She has written a letter that is very generic and of no individuality, full of lies and desperation. You could replace Josh with John, Jedidiah, Jason, Joseph or any of the names of the other Duggar sons and it would still make sense because it's just her image of the perfect Christian man/husband. She sure wouldn't write a letter like this if it was Jill in trouble.

Many of the men who engage in downloading CSAM show absolutely no signs of it. Michelle may well think Josh is a loving father, great husband and father, can sell a few cars and sweep a few floors but she doesn't seem to understand that these are the sort of people who engage in these activities. They hide in plain sight because they do not want to be caught. Josh tried to hide the material, there has never been any remorse from him or any attempt to change his ways.

[theeternalblue]

29

29. You’re leaving for something dangerous and I can’t help but kiss you

(Ideas, ideas. This one put 2 thoughts in my mind, when me silly and fluffy of Archie being over dramatic with Veronica going to the doc for a pregnancy checkup and then this one)

Veronica looks across the hall at Archie’s fiery hair, a bit messier than fashionable. He’s sat on the floor just like her, just like most of their group as Sheriff Keller stands in front of them, hands on his hips after a speech she knows must belong to one of those post-apocalyptic movies.

This is fucking Red Dawn meets World War Z. But none of the Hollywood views on some sort of zombie-slash-alien invasion could’ve prepared them for the madness. They don’t even know what those things are. They don’t want to.

Riverdale High is the last redoubt in town. Not filled with heroes as pop culture would like you to believe, but with a gaggle of kids staying after school for extra-curriculars and a few adults who managed to get there before the monumental chaos forced them to lock every entrance to the building.

Archie lifts his head and locks eyes with Veronica. He looks tired and bloody – not his but Hal Cooper’s who in his last effort to save his family was dragged away by the multitude of corpse-like creatures still surrounding the school perimeter. He looks defeated even with the bat he holds over his lap, bloodied like him.

Who would’ve thought the kid who shared Twinkies and wrote dozens of Valentines when they were on the second grade would become not only part of the football team but also a skull smashing hero?

Moose Mason at his side offers him some Goldfish crackers, but Archie shakes his head.

Does Sheriff Keller realize they are still kids? Only ten days ago they went to a party to celebrate Moose’s 18th birthday – he’s the oldest of the bunch.

“So?”

Kevin Keller looks scared, eyes wide as he serves as support to Betty, giving her some comfort. But he stands up, probably thinking it’s his duty to be brave and go this crazy recon mission.

“I’ll go.”

Veronica’s eyes go quickly from Kevin to Archie who is lifting his bat before his body follows, slumping against the lockers. She opens her mouth to say something that could prevent him from this but she knows he still hopes to find his dad – Fred who called two-hours ago from Pop’s saying he was okay with his workers but the communications have failed since and they know nothing.

There are no words she could say to him.

This is the boy who carried her in his arms sophomore year when she twisted her ankle, the one who danced with her at homecoming, the one who broke up with her two weeks ago because she had a life ahead of her in New York and he would be trapped in this town. Well, look how that worked.

Only five decide to go, leaving a larger group behind to keep the place secure, with a crappy radio Dilton put together to keep them in contact.

As Veronica’s heels clack against the linoleum floor, Archie’s head turns around. She needs to retrieve more appropriate clothes from the locker room – she won’t be Bryce Dallas Howard, running in hills through the mud while escaping eminent death. Shit. She hopes it doesn’t come to that.

She doesn’t say anything before hurrying to Archie, pushing herself on tiptoes to take his face in her hands and kissing him with all she has until she feels one of his arms wrapping around her waist.

“Ronnie,” he breathes out.

“Shut up, Andrews.” She doesn’t mean her voice to sound as strangled as it does. “We’ll talk when you come back.” Because he has to come back. He has to.

“I lo-” Veronica places a finger over his mouth.

“Don’t be a hero. You tell me when you’re back. Don’t give me a cliché action movie moment.”

There’s a sad look that crosses Archie’s face, but he smirks before pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“See you in a bit, Ronnie.”

“Don’t be late.”

[forcharms]

ℍ𝕒𝕝𝕖𝕪 𝕁𝕒𝕞𝕖𝕤 𝕊𝕔𝕠𝕥𝕥

♡ ( kennedy mcmann, she/her, 23) - is that HALEY JAMES SCOTT seeking shelter in mystic falls ? i heard that SHE is from ONE TREE HILL. they’re usually known as STUDIOUS & INNOCENT. people often associate A SOFT PIANO MELODY, HIGHLIGHTER MARKED PAPERS, & THAT CRACKER JACKS CHARM BRACELET when they look at you. whispers around the town say that they DO remember who they are.

biography: 

haley bob is the youngest of six kids, born to parents who were rather lackadaisical in their parenting philosophy. her house was always loud, and even as a young child haley craved the quiet escapes which is how she’d found her best friend ( an only child ) lucas scott. she’d wound up spending most of her time with him, even more than at her own house but no one seemed to mind in her family. haley was the studious one, the one no one had to worry about. in fact, she was the innocent one--not naive, but simply, the one who didn’t get into trouble and didn’t know much more than what was right in front of her own face because she didn’t go looking for anything else. that is, until high school and everything changed. the worlds were reversing, and suddenly haley and her best friend lucas, who were nobodies, had become somebodies. haley fell in love for the first time--and even got married right then, at the age of sixteen. life seemed to continue to take a turn when, within that next year haley james wasn’t just a small town girl on the east coast, but haley james the girl on the road opening for singers who she admired ( and, reluctantly, chris keller ). while there were always bumps along the way, haley had faith that everything would work out. but now--pulled into this place, a space she is unfamiliar with, haley isn’t sure what to do with herself. part of her wants to find a way to get back home immediately and part of her thinks that this is a way of everything telling her to slow down ( boy is she wrong about that ). maybe she’ll be sitting in the grass working on music--maybe she’ll go back to waitressing or teaching? it’s unclear. she’s worried about jamie, and everybody else obviously, but haley is also a thinker and knows she needs to know more about the town before she can actually make any clear choices/opinions about what is really going on. 

statistics: 

age: twenty-three

sibling(s): five older siblings ( three unnamed brothers, three older sisters: vivian, quinn, & taylor )

child(ren): james lucas scott & lydia bob scott

also called: hales, tutor girl

occupation: she’s still determined to work on her music, as that’s what she was doing when she was pulled, but she works at ... 

fandom: haley is pulled from the season 5/6 area of one tree hill where she was a teacher, but also finally getting back into music as well

factoids:

her birthday is february 1st

coming from a big family, haley is both easy going and overprotective

wears the colorful cracker jacks bracelet around her wrist always

always has a book on her

the kind of person who offers to help out

while she might look innocent, haley can ( and will ) knock you out

read more on her wikipedia here.

[starrybethany]

Clayton Keller: Part 6

Word count: 2252

I groan, stirring against whatever hard surface I’m laying on. Wait, why am I laying on a hard surface and not my bed? My eyes open and I recognize the legs of my dining room chairs before anything else. Did I really sleep on my kitchen floor last night? Why would I do that?

My muscles cry as I lift myself into a sitting position and my head throbs as I rise to my feet. Oh, I passed out while drunk. That’s why.

There’s already a bottle of Tylenol and a glass of water sitting on my kitchen counter, along with a note from Tyler wishing me luck after getting as blacked out drunk as I did. I guess all of the stress got to me last night with the cherry on top being the fight with Clayton that I figured the only way to make it better for a little while would be alcohol.

My muscles and my headache relax significantly as I shower, pulling on some leggings and a baggy sweatshirt, letting my wet hair fall over my shoulders as I gag over some crackers in the kitchen.

My phone is nowhere to be found in this room and I didn’t see it in the bathroom or my bedroom, so I head to the living room to find it. It takes ten minutes but I finally find it in between the pages of a book, which I should have noticed immediately since the width increased immensely.

All I want to do today is sleep and watch movies from the early 2000s, but I grab my backpack and head towards the library knowing I should study for these midterms so I don’t flunk out of this college that I’m oh so desperately trying to afford. It’s not as hard with a paycheck from Clayton, though.

I’m two units deep into my early American literature class when someone slides into the booth across from me. I finish the line I’m reading before looking up, smiling when my eyes meet Paige’s eyes.

I feel bad for leaving her last night, especially just to have a shitty interaction with Clayton. Instead of that I could’ve been comforting my old friend and shoving some more Oreos down her throat.

“I wanted to thank you for being there for me last night. I know we’ve kind of drifted apart, but I’m glad to know that I can always turn to you,” she tells me in a hushed voice.

My chest gets warm at her words. I was feeling so guilty for ditching her but all along she just cherished that I was there in the first place. “You’re welcome, Paige. Andrew’s a douchebag, you know that, right?”

She shrugs. “I’m getting there.”

I turn back to my laptop while she pulls out a notebook, scanning along the pages with her finger. An hour passes before she speaks again.

“So what are you doing Wednesday night?”

I bite my lip in thought. “Probably the same thing I’m doing right now.”

“Well, if you’d like to take a break for a couple of hours, let me know. I got tickets for the Coyotes game against the Blues and I was supposed to take Andrew but-”she shakes her head. “Just let me know by tomorrow if you’d like to go.”

“I’d love to go,” I smile at her. I might not know how hockey works despite the WAGs trying to explain it to me, but I am a woman who loves to see a bunch of hot, grown men sweaty and beating each other up. Plus, Clayton will be playing, and I want to watch and partially understand this time to see what he does that makes him so rich.

“Okay, cool, I’ll pick you up at six. You still live in the same apartment, right?” She asks, packing up her stuff. Some people give her looks as her volume has risen out of excitement, but I ignore them, nodding to her question. “See you then.”

“Bye.”

I watch her leave, pulling out my phone and beginning a text to the hockey player himself.

Hey, sorry for how things went the other night. Just wanted to let you know that a friend and I will be coming to watch your game against the Blues on Wednesday. Score a goal for me.

I hesitate before sending the message. I don’t like to apologize, deep down I know when I should apologize but I tend to not do it because of the issues I have buried within. It isn’t fair for the other person, especially for someone who might as well be putting his name on the check for Debbie, and I identify that it’s an issue that I need to work on.

I click send before I chicken out. I’m afraid of the response- I don’t know if he’ll still be angry with me, or perhaps even more angry- angry enough to cancel our contract or lower my pay.

He responds right away, just asking me where the seats are. I’m a little annoyed at the question, feeling like he should at least acknowledge the apology, but let him know that I have no clue where we’re sitting.

He leaves it at that and I go back to studying.

When Paige texts me details about our hangout on Wednesday night I tell Clayton where our seats are. Section 205, the middle section of the rink on the home side. He gives me a one word answer so I’m still left in the dark of how he feels.

Paige doesn’t own a jersey and neither do I so we just wear nice sweaters and jeans to the rink, unsure of how you exactly should dress for a hockey game. We find our seats and sit down, making small talk as we wait for warmups to begin.

When the players skate onto the ice, everybody cheers in excitement and my eyes find Clayton almost immediately.

It’s electrifying to watch him doing what he loves. He skates with a passion and a purpose, like every step and every move he’s going to make will be better than the last. He lifts his head towards the two hundred section and I lean in to talk into Paige’s ear. “Um, I should probably tell you something.”

She looks at me curiously. “What is it?”

“You see number nine? On the Coyotes?” I try my best to point at him. She nods. “He’s actually my uh, sugar daddy.”

She laughs, raising her eyebrows at me. “Are you kidding?”

I shake my head.

“You have a sugar daddy?”

“I have to pay the tuition somehow,” I defend, surveying her expression.

“I’m not judging,” she quickly reassures me, “That’s very progressive of you. Get that coin, girl.”

I grin at her, returning my attention to the ice. Almost as soon as I do my eyes meet familiar green ones. Green ones that I was looking at the other night while he was telling me that I’m not spending enough time with him.

I see him smile behind his helmet and the pressure from my heart lifts with the action. Thank god he’s not still mad at me. I don’t know why I cared so much anyways- I know he wouldn’t break the contract or pay me less, that’s not the type of guy that he is.

Maybe it’s because I had just a little bit of fear that he would leave. If he left I wouldn’t get to hear his crappy jokes anymore or listen to him talk about Fortnite or ignore Christian’s smirks in the morning as I leave their house.

Clayton maintains eye contact with me, lifting his hand to his ear in a phone motion. My eyebrows furrow in confusion.

“He wants me to call him? Right now? But he’s on the ice right now,” I ask Paige.

He must sense my confusion because he puts his hand in front of him, pointing at it with his finger like he’s pressing different ‘buttons.’

“Oh, he wants me to text him?” I inquire.

“I think he just wants you to watch your phone for when he texts you,” Paige clarifies.

“He’s not good at this whole charades thing,” I giggle, watching all of the players skate around the rink, stretch, and shoot pucks at the net.

They leave the ice and I pull out my phone, waiting patiently for it to ring or vibrate or do whatever the hell Clayton’s going to do.

It vibrates with a text and I open it, immediately rolling my eyes.

Clayton: Stay after the game.

Of course he wants to instantly get back into the argument as soon as I think we’re done. The game starts and hockey is a lot more confusing without help than I thought it would be. I would ask Paige a question and she’d give me an answer of what she thinks the answer is, and when she has a question I return the favor. When we definitely don’t know the answer, we use Professor Google.

The Coyotes win in the end, that much I know, and Paige and I remain in our seats searching up the answers to our questions while we wait for some more communication from Clayton.

A woman appears after a while, leading us downstairs to wait outside the locker room. Some of the players leave the locker room in their suits, giving us curious glances on their way towards their cars.

Christian grins like a cheshire cat as soon as he lands his eyes on me and I roll my eyes, giving his shoulder a shove.

“Oh hey, Y/N. Are you coming over tonight?” He questions, wiggling his eyebrows in a suggestive way. Paige giggles at that and I see Christian’s eyes sparkle at the sound.

“I don’t even know anymore, Christian,” I answer.

“Who’s your friend?” He asks, eyeing Paige with a flirty smile.

She looks shy and I grab her hand, feeling overprotective since she just had a traumatic and recent breakup.

“Out of your league, dude. Get out of here.”

He rolls his eyes but gives us a wave, heading down the hall. “See you at home, Y/N!”

“Sorry about that, Paige,” I apologize to her.

“No, it’s fine, um,” she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, “He’s actually kind of cute.”

I give her a soft smile. “Just let me know when you’re ready. I can give him your number.”

She nods. The intimate moment is broken as Clayton leaves the locker room, heading our way as soon as he sees us. I introduce the two to each other and the brunette turns to me.

“Are you coming home with me tonight? I won’t be playing Fortnite, don’t worry,” he adds a snarky comment.

I raise my eyebrows at that. “I apologized, okay? Remember when I apologized on Monday and you completely ignored it?”

“Remember how you completely ignored the fact that you’re in a contract to spend time with me?” He retorts.

“I don’t have to spend every second of every day with you, Clay-””Hey, uh, guys? People are starting to stare,” Paige interrupts us worriedly.

I look around. It’s true. Some of the workers and lingering people are so clearly eavesdropping on our argument- well, now they know that Clayton has a sugar baby. Even though I’m shameless, I know better than to continue this argument in a public place.

“Let’s go back to my place,” Clayton nods towards the hallway towards the parking garage.

I turn to look at Paige but she nods at the tall man. “Go, I’ll be fine. Work out whatever you need to work out.”

I give her a gracious smile, falling into step beside Clayton as we head down the hall. “Go to my place, I have some studying to do tonight after this conversation.”

~

Clayton and I sit down after getting back to my apartment, having a conversation where we’re both completely honest with each other and laying out all of our thoughts and emotions. I think we’ve both come to the realization that although we both lead busy lives, we need to make time for each other. However, that doesn’t mean dropping everything at the other’s beck and call.

“Say it,” Clayton gives me a toothy grin.

“I promise to make time for you.” I stick out my pinky finger. “Now you say it.”

“I promise to respect it when you can’t make time for me.” He attaches his pinky finger to mine and we shake on it.

“Okay, now I need to study before we do anything else,” I inform him, grabbing the textbook from the coffee table and pulling it into my lap.

He pulls me across the table into his lap, looking over my shoulder. “What is this?”

“Anatomy,” I answer, trying to find the place I left off at when we left for the game.

“Gross.” He says that but I can feel him reading over my shoulder, even resting his chin on my shoulder to get a better view.

A half an hour passes before Clayton gets antsy, shifting below me and turning his head.

“Okay, time to pay attention to me now,” he declares, pushing the book off of my lap and onto the floor.

“Clayton!” My protests fall on deaf ears as he yanks me below him, hovering over me and pressing his lips onto mine.

I can’t even help but to laugh.